#but does that have any objective meaning .
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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I know Heimerdinger's Christian Linke's favorite character, and I sort of tolerated it in s1, but now it feels like things are a little too indulgent. Heimerdinger gets to team up with Ekko to launder his reputation through Ekko and the Firelights. Heimerdinger gets the first narrative game and second character teaser in the promotional cycl. Heimerdinger gets to SING A SONG that's included on the s2 Arcane soundtrack (Spin the Wheel).
Maybe I'd be less annoyed if the show at least did more to acknowledge Heimerdinger's failings as a leader, but his character description can't even do that. This is how the official Arcane website describes Heimerdinger:
"Heimerdinger warned the Piltover Council about the dangers of using magic without tangible solutions for safeguarding its use. Learning from his mistakes with Jayce, Heimerdinger inspires Ekko to keep looking for a solution and works with him to solve the problem, instead of just offering advice."
That's not Heimerdinger's main problem! The problem is the fact he's the person most singularly responsible for the state of Zaun and Piltover. It feels like the show and the cast are just dancing around the fact that Heimerdinger technically has the highest body count in the show (Day of Ash, pollution, extreme poverty, etc). The one time someone puts him to task (Jayce), the show makes it seem like Jayce is wrong or overstepped, and yeah he did do it for Viktor's sake, but Jayce was right! Heimerdinger's bad at his job, he shouldn't be in a leadership position if he's a bad leader.
#arcane#arcane ramble#heimerdinger#they probably didn't include heimer in the scene where the council gives the greenlight for enforcers#to shakedown zaun#but inaction is still a choice it's still a failing politically and morally#it still makes him look bad and i don't know if the showrunners really get WHY#that's why the decision to have Ekko be paired with Heimerdinger is so baffling#it ignores the weight of the Heimerdinger's impact as a leader and is frankly a disservice to Ekko's character#and really any character from zaun or even piltover that cannot take the 2 nanoseconds it requires to recognize how heimerdinger failed them#and the explanation that ekko respects heimerdinger as an inventor and they connect as such is kind of ridiculous#does that mean if silco had an engineering degree suddenly he and ekko could be bffs?#alright I've said my piece about this oversized troll doll#maybe I'll say more after s2#almost definitely#also I'll always be on Jayce's side for kicking heimerdinger out#he was objectively rught that heimerdinger shouldn't be there#Heimerdinger's still president of the Academy he's just not council member#why work in policy if you're uniterested politics?
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A little advice for new tumblr users who may be perceived as even just a lil bit feminine by others and who would like to post selfies. Do NOT use any of the usual selfie tags like "selfie" or "OOTD" or whatever because there are weird people checking those tags and they WILL message you weird shit without your consent.
Instead I'd recommend just having a fun lil tag that you made up like "I look very cool yay" something fun just for you if you want to find your pictures again later.
Trust me, your selfies will not go viral on tumblr.com, do not use the usual tags.
#I've had an experience or two on here that are part of my famous “spiraling over my trauma with men” “fun” times.#If someone you know catcalls or does any weird shit like that. Kill them. They don't realize how fucking traumatic it is#I've had girls literally tell me “aww I wish I got catcalled cause that means I'm prettyyy” NO.#That means they see you as nothing else but a sex object. They don't care about you. They're sexist.#They don't see you as a being capable of wants and needs or of emotions or feelings. They have no concept of consent.#They don't see you as a goddamn human being. At most a sexy blowup doll. I hate them I hate them I hate them
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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rb and put in tags the name of the stuffed toy(s) you sleep with
#i have quite a few on my bed but i sleep with jevil because hes the softest#kinger has a big cardboard plate in his head; spamton is verr spikey and caine has so many cardboard panels to help him keep his shape that#he is actively uncomfortable to sleep with akjhkhadfs#i love them all dearly tho#i like learning about things like this its interesting to realise that everyone around you has a life and memories and specific objects tha#mean a lot to them and why they mean so much to them#just every now and then i have the realisation that “heck everyone in the world is also living”#like that dude who you accidentally bumped on the way to co op. he has a life. he has a family. he went to school and he has friends#he woke up that morning and brushed his teeth and picked and outfit. maybe took his kids to school if he has any#he also had a chain of events that led him to that exact moment when you bumped into him#then you walk away and never see each other again. you go on with your day and keep going with your life and he does the same#woah i got very deep in the tags#reblog and put in tags#idk what to tag this with
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winston my quant of billions
#''😒''#corned beef#winston billions#& green of all things; drew it in purpley pink & being like whoa hey is this too much deliberately breaking out this Rare Coloring#minty fresh....been funny to be rotating the villainy of; let's say; bsol & xmas & then thinking about billions' whole other world there#& its completely different take where of all things winston is like. treated as a villain in a way its sicko My God central men aren't#(who are also quite different from iconis villains but yknow with the very fundamental differences in general what else is a surprise)#axe? prince? alive & well & billions does mean to be commenting on that like yeah sure#but winston? gotta be humiliated & violated & attacked / killed (if figuratively + just by assumption Oh He's Fiiine)#as well as basically truly dead to everyone but in a Never Existed / Spontaneously Shunned way. nobody thinks about him ever again#including when non wretched central men characters are getting these silver linings Benefits from their sabotaging a central man#not winston though maybe; the writing has forgotten him / sees no worth in bringing him up unless At His Expense; not gain#didn't get background randos telling prince or the like to go fuck himself at any point. open contempt reserved for winston there#better to have Objective Entitlement to power over / access to people & then; hey what the; be an asshole about it???#than to not just Have that entitlement & not expect it & not try to use it & be friendly & minding your own business as much or more than#any other characters like good lord what a Loser. the queerness & disability of this inferiority? just some jokes (at winston's expense)#& we will be killing him like nobody even considers for central men takedowns. those are polite & we all have Some regret it came to this#better to abuse people than. be so unepic (different from Normal white cishet 50some men who love certain media)#& on that note you're never gonna guess what's Good to do to the unepic people who bring it upon themselves....yeah haha. abuse#you're never gonna guess but power difference is a given & also good if an epic person has that power. & on that note#what can they do with it but keep unepic people in their place? what other hope do we have? winston may try to say a pun. or speak at all :#anyway while there's the absolute joys of Any Good Bastard over in a wildly different oeuvre it's like well yknow#while winston is already Ruining Things as more a Wretched Sicko Evil Asshole for seeing himself as a person & others as people#instead of himself as an inferior who has to apologize for existing & initiating any interaction vs only ever doing as he's told#unlike the best heroes who know they're superior & will use others & mess with their lives however they feel is justified; you're welcome#like well if winston's such an exceptional dick(tm) around here that he has to be introduced w/discussion / explanation around this#great let him be even bitchier & more ''difficult''....& billions would never & that's why [sorry to all the characters trapped in there]#the slightest glimpses of like & The Quasirival Weirdo Duos Are Kinda Being Cunts b/w usual parallels riawin & taylip#what comes of that? oh nothing. but as ever these are at least glimpses of a little more liveliness & range for making room for this a sec#anyway imagine getting so niche that your other kinda just as niche thing is like. less niche. but not really. wheee yayyy fr lol My Whimsy
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I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing
#yrtalk#young royals#personal#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry#everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now#i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse#i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be#but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol#but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something#for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave#and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from#and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true#and i can't support people like that and take them seriously#i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well#but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch#and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard#with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame#but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so#and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows#but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't
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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu
#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self#and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is#recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this#and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth#sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there#how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way#anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again#i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare#u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath#your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he#i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted#bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters#but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk#goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh#bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice#i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will#simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think#having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think#over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to#yaar#i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows#two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion#when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other
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or alternatively dweeb meets other dweeb more news at 11
LIGHT. LIGHT IN HIS EYES. LOOK AT EM BIG OLE EYES. LOOK AT HIM TOUCH HIS JERSEY.
GLORY BE TO THE MIKKSY SIGNED JERSEY RAAAAAAAAA
CanesWear Signing | 7.1.24
#niko mikkola#florida panthers#the mortifying ordeal of being known#you can tell how bad i was shaking from how much the jersey moves in my hands oh it was so serious for me its not even funny#“youre my favourite player thats why” “thank you” girl i would eat concrete for you without any hesitation#“new jersey?” me sweating profusely because i have to admit i had this jersey for a while now in front of his face oh god oh FUCK#“where do you want it? here or here?” “anywhere choose where anywhere” “ill do this way”#behold decision paralysis plus the constitution of a doormat with an awful aim to please vs the assuredness of a bull romping through field#“i mean its your jersey at the end of the day”#he says without thinking because he lacks a brain to mouth filter and immediately wants to slam his head into the nearest hardest object#but its okay it got a little smile out of mikksy so maybe my motor mouth can be used for good#my voice is so hoarse because i stood under for 7 hours and also loudly cheered like never before all throughout those 7 hours yesterday#also a lot of people had tickets for both mikksy and lundy or just lundy so thats why the line was moving slowly#so at one point they went OKAY WHO HAS TICKETS FOR JUST NIKO and i raised my hand like oo oo mee ☝️ and got rushed to the front#also a lot of the stuff he was signing was nonspecific posters and hats or other players jerseys (that already had other signatures on em)#which is why the attendant was like oh sweet jersey! and mikksy was like new jersey? because there werent many people at all#comparatively his signing was priced the lowest at 39 out of all cats players. the highest currently is benny at 60#does it suck his line was shorter. there was surprise when someone toddles in with a mikksy jersey. and that his signing was priced low?#yes ofc but also i didnt have to stand in the heat for long got ushered in faster and my wallet didnt cry so lets not kid ourselves here#there are silver lining to everything but anyways first hockey jersey and first signature on it acquire call that a man on a mission 😎👉👉#long tags i love mikksy i lot you understand right <3#also im never wearing this jersey again so i might as well buy a frame and ANOTHER mikksy jersey#to bad it also has my 30th ani cats patch on it too </3
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.
#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds#and my anxiety meds#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works#but that they morally object to i guess#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it#im not interested in those meds at all#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best#and removing that would just make me worse#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers#they just gotta pathologize!#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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idk, its just. like. a person comes up to you with their heart cradled in their hands. says it is broken, says it hurts. places it in your hands, asks you to please make it stop and trusts you to fix it. wouldnt you be scared, too? wouldn't you be haunted by visions of you tripping and shattering it beyond repair, of driving the thing thats hurting them even further down so that maybe no one can ever get it out, of someone in their deepest darkest moment trusting you with their life and you fucking it up? how could that ever feel like anything but defusing a bomb? trust is such a valuable thing, a powerful thing, a delicate thing, and the more you have the more you get given and the more careful you have to be with it because what if someday you drop it and break it and it turns out you never should have been given it in the first place. wouldnt you be scared?
#origibberish#idk. obviously im not a therapist of any sort myself but. i do know that that essentially is the role ive been playing in uquiz convos#and im happy to help but. it does definitely start to weigh on a person#the expectation to have The Right Answer On Who You Are even though i dont really know who i am#and the knowledge that this isnt like. characters im analyzing from a book‚ these are real people with real lives‚ it just. idk.#i keep having to tell people i wont just assign them a new gender and then realizing that like#the fact that im having to do that means that i. could. if i wanted to. and THAT means i have to be careful not to do it by accident either#like. people are coming to me for this bc they see me as an authority figure and if i just went 'nah you dont seem trans' then theyd.#probably listen. at least for a while#i could take the easy way out and just pick whatever answers i want but the entire point is to not do that so of course im not going to but#that doesnt stop people from wanting or expecting it#you want me to be an objective mirror impassively reflecting your true self back to you but that just. isnt possible. im sorry#there is no '''true answer''' for me to unlock for you. there is only the present and the future and what choices you make going forward.#uquibberish#<wasnt sure if i was gonna include this in the tag but. idk i think it probably is important too#i know the conversation is about you and i dont want to make it about me. but. i do want to be considered. at least a little#the disclaimer in my pinned is for yall but it is also for me
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when saying "I just don't understand why this level of aggressive violence, supply blockade, and civilian casualty is necessary in 2024" results in people saying to your face that you "support terrorism and want the hostages to die" you start thinking maybe the human race wasn't built for any level of nuance
#two things can be true#hell more than two things can be true#i can feel extreme empathy for both the israeli hostages and the palestinian civilian population#while not supporting hamas nor the israeli government/military#an insane concept i know#also it goes without saying that being a civilian on either side of this war would be horrible#but objectively palestinian civilians are undergoing much worse conditions on average#so thats why many people jews included are donating esims and unwra funds etc to Palestine#even if they arent violently anti israel#anyway my point is NUANCE EXISTS#black and white situations almost never exist irl#i for example am a jewish person who donated to unwra and buys esims and does my clicks for palestine#but that doesnt mean i dont care about the israeli hostages?? i think about what those still alive must be going through and its horrific#i want them safely returned#but thats separate from the suffering of palestinian civilians#having empathy for Palestinians also does not mean i support hamas so stop conflating those things too#ive seen people call palestinian kids starving on the street “terrorists”#so yeah im really losing faith in humans having any empathy or nuance
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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore
#jack facts#people be banging on about empathy this empathy that#and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what#that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol#and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before#i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia#or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc#anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept#and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity#the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING#to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy#and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad#but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective#and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person#or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation#another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm#done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations#that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over#i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions#and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol#like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like#fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting
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it doesn't do anything for me when people cook or eat on this show. doesn't even make me hungry. the one thing that can make me react is when a character starts eating and then realizes they have to go do something else and just leaves all that food uneaten. that stresses me out so bad. bro someone just cooked all that food for you...what a waste. and now you're just going to have to figure out how to eat again so soon because you didn't sate your hunger. fucking idiot!!!!
#why does this happen so often guys ur killing me#i don't care about the eating scenes but it's okay if there are more of them. if that means these people will stop taking two bites#of noodles and then running away the whole show can be eating i don't mind just stop leaving right away!!!!!!!#anyway guess who has to have lunch now 😡#there's definitely something wrong with me because i know this show is beloved and it's probably really good but#i don't care about any of it. the only character i like is the main character and everyone else annoys me#when he was dying of poison or whatever i was so bored i was like i don't care what these other people are doing show me my guy#which is insane because he is objectively the most annoying person on the whole show???
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hold up. pause.
i couldn't get 15 minutes into the finale without crying. had to stop and write this. my heart SO goes out to marissa! i relate to her so hard, having been in a weirdly similar situation to her. was also with a two-faced performative leftist Nice Guy who looooooved that i'm a Strong Woman with intense energy in the beginning, and once we moved in together decided actually, i was too much. EERILY similar to ramses.
"that's what every guy feels. they love the first few months of dating me, cause the energy is so fucking great. like i get it, i've heard that before." i wanted to hug her so badly!!!! it's the most vile feeling on earth for someone to use the reasons they used to love you as the reasons they don't anymore.
meanwhile, marissa sees their difference in vibe/energy (ramses being the "calmer" one and marissa being the more intense one) as something to be celebrated and just worked around where consideration is needed. her love supersedes and she doesn't have a need to be in a relationship with someone who is exactly fucking like her.
the poor girl was so shooketh. she couldn't believe how suddenly he changed his mind, from one minute loving everything about her and wanting to get married to wanting to break up the next. god, i understand the whiplash from that shit. she is going to need therapppyyyyyyyy.
we as women need to stop thinking that men are just having a great time in a relationship with us if they haven't brought anything up!! they do not communicate the way we do. women being quiet = everything is fine. men being quiet = everything MIGHT be fine, but he could just as equally be deeply unhappy and plotting his escape/affair. they actually are sociopathic in that they can act like they love us to placate us while they find a way to fade out of the relationship. us women know that if we're done we can't even touch him anymore!
i'm so tired of seeing the pure love of women be fucking corrupted by user men. please understand that a man's emotional landscape may as well be an alien planet, they do not experience love the way we do at ALL. women love unconditionally, faithfully, like mothers. a man's love is conditional to the dopamine he gets from your presence. that's it. and because dopamine and therefore feelings fade in and out, you point blank cannot trust a man to stay by your side throughout all of your seasons of life.
maybe he's good for right now, sure, but don't depend on him being in the picture long term. imagine when you give birth and experience physical and emotional changes, or if you go through an illness, experience a personal loss, etc. most men will not hesitate to cut you loose the moment you don't make him feel good 24/7 anymore and need to lean on HIM. they don't want to be depended on, because dependence = expectations, and expectations = control = loss of freedom to a man. there is nothing more important to a man than the freedom to do whatever the fuck he pleases at all times.
please watch this show as a way to better understand how duplicitous men operate. i don't care if you don't watch reality tv bc you're better than that, neither do i, but this show is the exception.
every SINGLE man on the cast this season has displayed GIANT red flags from day 1 IF you know how to look. there isn't a single man on S7 who i would say is real husband material. whether it's being a liar, unfaithful, hiding things about their pasts, and being actual man children who have never had to lift a finger in their entire lives, it's clear this season that the casting of the men was meant to be a cautionary tale.
#like i don't get it!!! marissa is BEAUTIFUL and vibrant and sweet and accomplished and is going to be a lawyer!!!!#if someone like THAT has to beg and cry for a mid male to love her the rest of us don't stand a chance#we see over and over on this season the theme of the women having their shit together#and the men...don't#and rightfully so the women are like hey....are you going to be an adult in this context or do i have to remind you#to do the dishes get my mom a gift etc etc#and the men are like#wahhhhh you're trying to control and change me stop you evil wench#WHAT is it with men who see the dynamics of involved partnership as their wings being clipped????#they want all the benefits of partnership with women but they don't want to give anything or have any expectations placed on them#please watch this season and if you see any of this crap irl please cut it the fuck off EARLY#i don't even watch reality tv but love is blind is the exception#i have personal experience that i relate to the subject matter on#and i'm using it as research to see how narcissistic and avoidant manchildren operate so i don't fall for that shit ever again#there ARE signs educate yourself!!#love is blind#love is blind season 7#god her cries got to me#how she cried about just wanting to be chosen for once#i used to feel the same way and then i got therapy#that helped me realize that being chosen by a man is a nothingburger status.#actually it's statistically a negative to your quality of life if you're a woman#realize that male validation is a false trophy we are trained to chase after from birth that literally means nothing.#choose yourself. love yourself. and realize how historically your life has been BETTER without a man literally dirtying it up.#what does it mean to be chosen by a man who can barely wipe his own ass properly?#who has to be reminded to clean his space who lies to you with a straight face who feels nothing for you when you cry?#what does being chosen by an objectively shit human being grant you as a person?#please untangle how the patriarchy has rotted your brain as a woman and set yourself free.
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