#but does it look like i understood any of that shit??? absolutely nothing

[drawbudd]

on this episode of: I think about time travel for a bit too long and go insane

[miss-vanta-likes-to-write]

WOULD PRICE'S LADY TEACH HIM SPADES?

I'm hollering because the relationship almost didn't survive that first game of spades when visiting her family. Let's switch perspectives, shall we?

Price POV

Rating: Gen Audience

continuation of this post here

John is already dealing out the cards for their next card game. He is sitting across from Kyle, and he feels sorta bad for what he's about to do...but when his Missus had said that he wasn't good at bluffing or shit talking at the spades table he knew he had to practice. Normally he deals out five cards like any old poker game, Simon and Johnny aren't paying attention because Johnny is grilling Simon about his new hen (and if she has any single friends.)

Kyle notices that he has 13 cards and immediately sighs, "Absolutely not. I actually like you guys."

This grabs Johnny's attention, and he tilts his head, "Wot we playin'?"

"Spades." John says, "I just think we should try something new." It's his go-to phrase thanks to his Missus. She says it often when she inevitably coaches him out of his comfort zone. He smiles at the thought of her, and then he frowns because when she said this to him before that disastrous spades game. (He had never seen his girl so fired up and competitive against her sibling and their partner. He honestly thought a fight was going to happen, but then it was explained that was just how they were, loud rowdy and passionate).

Simon is skeptical about the new game, "Why does Gaz look distressed?" He side eyes him. It's a new expression on his face, and he probably picked that one up recently.

"I'm distressed because if we play this game and Johnny cuts me, I won't be inclined to help him ever again." Kyle is already getting up to switch places with Simon, so he is sitting across from Johnny. Kyle is glaring at him and Simon, "what next, are we playing bones? Uno with house rules? Throwing dice at the wall and snapping our fingers?"

Soap is laughing, "Why're ye so stressed about a few games?" He wipes a tear from his eye.

"Captain’s girl has him playing spades, and he has a fade, Simon is wearing black forces with red laces. Nothing good is going to happen if either of them decide to leave their girlfriends." Kyle looks genuinely concerned, and John feels like he is overreacting.

Still, John just chuckled and explained the rules for spades. A few minutes later he finds himself fussing at Simon for throwing down the big joker after the first go around. Johnny is cackling because the only thing he understood about the rules is that nothing beats a spade except a higher spade, and he just used his only three consecutively. Kyle has tried to jump across the table twice, and John is surprised because he's never seen his little mini me lose his carefully crafted composure. By the time this round ends, the four of them are arguing about rules and who screwed who first.

"Cap! I've been playing spades for years! How are you gonna tell me the rules! You can't throw down a heart on a bunch of diamonds, and then in the next play, throw down a diamond!" Kyle is throwing his arms up.

"Wait, ah'm confused" Johnny says, "are we not winnin'?"

"He's saying that my bear is cheating." They didn't hear the basement door open, and Missus entered the room. "Cuddly Bear." She traces her hand across his shoulder, and John looks at her. "I really don't need you perfect at playing spades... you play dominoes well enough, and you clean up at the poker table."

John feels his cheeks warm up at the compliment, and he misses the way Kyle gasps. "Just trying something new with the guys, Sweetheart. "

"He plays dominoes! Ugh, I can't." He flops into his chair.

Missus only laughs, "Actually, I came up here to see if you four wanted to watch 'Why did I get married?' with us downstairs."

John doesn't mind, but he finds it odd that Kyle only groans and pulls his hat over his face.

[whetstonefires]

See I don't necessarily disagree with what seems to be the primary reading that Yue Qingyuan's shifu fucked him over, caring nothing for his needs or preferences and only for whether he was useful. That makes sense, it ties into plenty of the generational and societal themes of the story. It fits.

But iirc we don't actually get enough information to know that's what happened.

And the thing is it would be so in-character and also thematically appropriate if Yue Qingyuan absolutely did not explain his goals or why he was working so hard, because it was private and shameful and he didn't expect any sympathy, and there was a high risk of losing everything if he blabbed.

And also if he engaged with the existing ruleset with which he was presented, i.e. 'can't go off on your own on personal business until you've mastered your sword,' in the most negative and controlling manner possible, as absolute commandments.

He's a different kind of guy but he comes from the same background as Shen Jiu! It fucked him up also!

He is very very very not a guy who trusts the system to make allowances for him--even once he has all the power he 'does what he wants' and 'makes selfish choices' as a conscious transgression; not something he has a right to do, just something he can get away with so he's gonna. (And ofc he spends almost all the latitude he grants himself on sqq.)

And even less is he a guy who opens up easily.

He isn't too proud to ask for help or pity, so much as he just doesn't expect to get any.

So in this interpretation, he understood that rule as a non-negotiable barrier in his path, the target to overcome, and focused all his considerable will and talent on overcoming it through the sphere of action he felt he had control over.

And fucked himself up bad.

Whereupon his teacher, possessing absolutely no context for this dumb shit their star pupil pulled, did the only thing they thought might work to save his life, paying in the process no attention to the raving of someone deep in a psychotic break.

Like, I feel like there should have been a better, kinder medical option, but I don't know for sure that there was, so I can't say with certainty this was the kind of cruelty that derives from not caring enough.

And it really would be kind of elegant and so typical of Yue Qingyuan's fundamental tragedy if the real mistake was 'not confiding in anybody' the whole time.

And he was just so deeply sunk into the understanding that explaining and asking were useless that, even looking back, it never really occurred to him that maybe his mistake wasn't 'fucking it up when trying too hard to solve everything on his own' but 'assuming there was no help to be had, and that he had to do it all on his own.'

Like. What if this really could all have been avoided if he'd just trusted and communicated with the adult in charge of him? But of course, of course his history of trauma (neglect, child abuse, exploitation, being the One Responsible for the younger kids whom he could not keep safe) meant he was absolutely not going to do that.

It was basically impossible. For the person he was, the person the world had made of him. And that's always been the core tragedy the whole novel circles back upon.

People can only ever be themselves, and so very often the elements of self that let them survive until now are that which dooms them, that means they need someone else to intervene if they're ever going to be saved. Because your personal doom is always the thing from which you can't save yourself.

[laura1633]

Oh wow i have a serious problem i just went over what i wrote to you and i probably should have stopped at the first two sentences but it gets me upset the abuse lando faces i dont even like the guy i perfer oscar, max, charles and carlos but even i know that sending death threats to someone is not okay, and it upsets me that people almost always take his words out of context like when did lando say he actually had a chance at winning the wdc this year? I've seen people bash on him for the latest race where max raced incredibly, but what they dont seem to understand is that the race's terrible race conditions could have actually seriously injured him, we all seem to forget that the guy is younger then max, less experienced, and has huge problems with self-worth that actively seem to affect the way he race's. the fact that max won in the rust bucket that barely seemed to work in favor of the guy is incredable, but bashing on another driver for seemingly not wanting to take a chance with the awfull race conditions (*please note that this is what it looked like to me on what lando was doing that race where he did make mistakes but the weather wasnt helping ether* also note that that franco, oliver and others commented ether on the weather being dangerous, their cars 'Presumably the cars not agreeing with the weather ether', or the fact they couldnt see for shit and out right stated that someone should have a talk with the fia *i couldnt watch the whole race but ive seen snippets of driver radio's and the like, so i cant say with 100% certainty that this is correct*)

So yeah i think that, if i as someone who doesnt like lando, its really concerning what some people say about the guy and as a side note none of the other drivers seem to notice the hate from what ive seen but this last part might just be me. What are your thoughts on the hate lando's been getting seeming to increase anytime he seems to actually want to enjoy racing with the other more popular (equally popular?) Drivers?

🍑anon

Hi anon, 

That’s okay, I will respond to this ask rather than the previous one (but just for context for anyone else the previous ask was about fan fiction so wan’t anything mean). This ended up being a really lengthy answer because I have lots of thoughts!!! 

I’ll put the answer under the cut and tag as anti Lando despite this really just being my opinion and I personally don’t think I am being particularly harsh here but maybe people will disagree.

Firstly hopefully to most people it goes without saying that sending death threats is not okay, that goes for any of the drivers (and various other individuals that I have seen targeted over the past few years). I also have never understood people specifically going to an individual’s social media page just to spout negativity or abuse at them, if you don’t like someone you don’t need to follow them. 

However, I am surprised that people seem to be shocked that Lando is receiving hate online as this is absolutely nothing new and, if I am being honest, I have seen worse (not that this is a competition!).

I will speak from the perspective of being a Max supporter and say that the abuse he has received both online and at track has been appalling over the years. After Silverstone 2021 there were plenty of comments from people saying he ‘deserved’ such an awful crash or that they wished it had been worse. Even this year there were memes going around saying that maybe we needed a repeat of Silverstone 21 (a meme liked by Lando’s dad no less, not that I think we should be blaming children for their parent’s actions!). Not only that but there is rarely a week that goes by that I don’t see jokes online about how Jos is the only one that ‘can beat Max’ or people posting memes about Max being left at a gas station when he does badly. Max needed a bodyguard in Mexico last year because there were concerns over death threats, he’s been booed up on the podium, had people chanting cheat at him in the fan zone, every comment section on his social media includes comments telling him he is a cheat or that his achievements mean nothing. The British media are like vultures any time there is even a hint of controversy. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly up in arms about Lando receiving hate, perhaps its a case of only caring when it happens to ‘their’ driver. 

It doesn’t just happen to Max either. I don’t follow Lewis on social media but I still know the type or racist abuse he has faced over the years. Other drivers also receive abuse - Lance for example has vile things said about him, Nicholas Latifi was sent death threats after 2021. I am sure most if not every driver has experienced some level of hate. Social media can be extremely toxic. 

Do I think any of the drivers should have to deal with such toxicity? No, but Lando is nowhere near the only one to receive hate and I don’t think someone like Max who appears ‘strong’ should have to put up with things because people get the impression it doesn’t bother him.

Whether the other drivers notice, well probably they do but its not happening just to Lando. Did Lando realise how much toxicity was being thrown at Max after Austria or Mexico? Did he try and calm things with the media or did he double down and make things worse for Max? 

As for taking Lando’s words out of context. That definitely happens from time to time, the same as with any driver. Media goes for clickbait headlines and run with them. The problem is that Lando has also said things that haven’t been taken out of context and that people still find distasteful. The comments about it not being talent and being luck did not come across well. I was tempted to give him the benefit on that one and assume he was referring to himself and saying it was not him being untalented but unlucky but then he doubled down by saying nobody deserved to win the race more than George - how can I take that any other way other than the fact he was saying Max didn’t ‘deserve’ to win the race. 

As for Lando saying he thought he could win the WDC, if he didn’t think he could win it this year then to me that would be more of a concern. He has a championship winning car and has done for most the season, if he can’t win it now then when?! He should have been confident that he could win or at least put up a good fight. I would have had no problem with him openly saying he is going for the championship. Look at Charles who is not afraid to say that whilst it is still possible he is still fighting. I think part of the problem here lies with Mclaren because they should have been fully backing Lando and hyping him up but seemed to flip flop back and forth about whether they thought he was truly in the fight. It’s hardly going to give Lando confidence when his team don’t seem to be backing him as strongly as they could be. 

As for Brazil, Lando didn’t have a great race. George got past him at the start. He made too many errors. Charles finished in front of him despite starting behind him. Max, Esteban and Pierre took a risk staying out on those worn inters, they gambled on the fact the race would be red flagged but also on their abilities and confidence to keep the car on track under those conditions. They all did extremely well and deserved their podium spots. The most important thing though is that all the drivers came away without serious injuries because over the course of that weekend there were numerous occasions where entertainment was put over safety. If a driver felt they had to pit for safety reasons then I am glad they took that step.

Lando is younger than Max but I don’t think we need to baby him in terms of his racing or in terms of giving him a free pass with what he says in the media. He is 24 years old, the same age Max was when Max won his first championship under very intense pressure. 

I think you are correct about confidence or self worth affecting him. Whilst I wouldn't like to comment to much on his mentality, to me (and I don’t tend to watch too many of his interviews so I could be wrong) he seems to flop back and forth between being overly critical of himself and then also not taking accountability and saying someone else just had the fastest car or were lucky. I think it would be really good for him to be able to look as objectively as possible about where he has actually made mistakes and can improve but also being able to pick out the things he has done well and be proud of those things. 

Overall I don’t think any drivers should have to put up with the amount of hate that they have to put up with but Lando is not the only one to receive hate and, dare I say it, I don’t even think it has been as vicious as some of the things I have seen over the years. Social media is toxic and people should be more mindful and realise these are real people - all of them!! 

Also, once again lets be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt over the weekend and lets hope the Fia take steps to act more swiftly when safety cars and red flags are needed and that they put safety above other concerns.

[spiderfreedom]

my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense

Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."

TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.

And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.

But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:

But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.  [...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit". 

Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:

The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life. This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.

I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🦐 to recognize my post

Am I the asshole for asking my grandmother if I can move in with her?

This’ll be one of your classic reddit-style family dramas, I think. Back in late 2019 just before COVID, I (freshly 18 at the time) had run away from home with my mom and moved in with my best friend (R, 17 in 2019) and her (60s, deeply depressed) dad. Her dad and I were on good terms for a long time, but respectfully, he has a tendency to repress any issues he has with someone until they build into a bigger issue. Near toward November of 2020, he kicked me out on account of ‘not keeping a job and not doing anything around the house’ (I washed stagnant dishes often, took care of their several animals, and took out trash whenever I could, R and I think he was projecting his shitty roommates from when he was 20 onto me), so I needed a new place to move.

My own beloved father lives ten hours away, and offered for me to live with him. For months, I was preparing to pick up my entire life from the hometown I had lived in since I was 2 years old to move to a new state, and in the last month, I got cold feet and said I couldn’t make such a large change like that. My dad completely understood, and I went to look for a new place to stay, still living with R and her dad at this time.

During this period, I was getting closer with my grandmother on my mom’s side again. She was one of the few family members I felt comfortable with, and we often went to Panera for lunch dates to catch up on things. I won’t go super deep into why I’m so anxious about the rest of the family, because that would require an entire several page google document to explain (especially now that we’re actively banned from holidays).

It was around this time I asked my grandmother if I could move into one of her five or six spare rooms upstairs. My grandfather had died in the last couple of months, and I was confident that if she needed any help (she’s in her mid eighties) moving things upstairs or cleaning the house, I would be beyond glad to do it for her. She then hesitated and said it may be a better idea for me to move in with my dad after all (which was odd, because she hates my dad’s guts, as does the rest of my family), and I let it go after that. I didn’t push, I would just need to find a new place. 

Well, word got around, and she told my aunts and older cousins in passing. I don’t remember if I got sent anything in specific, but one of my aunts (mother’s older sister who I'm genuinely terrified of) absolutely fucking exploded on my (54 at the time) mom, giving her a several paragraph long shitstorm of a message saying she was a terrible mother for letting me take advantage of my grandmother, calling her horrible things, slurs, and insulting her wife, and it got back to me somehow. I was fucking shredded apart emotionally.

Since then, I have moved back in with my mother out of necessity and we have totally reconciled our relationship in the three or so years I’ve been home, and my entire mother’s side of the family- aside from my grandmother- has completely cut contact and don’t invite us to holidays anymore, for significantly more ridiculous reasons than me asking my grandmother what I did.

My mother’s side of the family ostracized her, myself, and my sister since my mother first married my dad 25ish years ago, and has just never treated her the same since, which explains some of the hostility (I want to specify, I’m confident that my mother did nothing outright wrong for this, my family is extremely far-right and EXTREMELY judgemental, and my mom bore unnecessary vitrol for everything she went through), but I need to know if I was actually the asshole for asking to move in with my grandmother, who even now still cares about me as family and lives alone. I could give less of a shit what my aunt thinks now (she lives an entire day’s drive away, in a different state as well), but I can’t help but shake the fear that I was actually taking advantage of her kindness or something of the sort. Was this a wrong thing to ask? Was this actually too much, and should I not have bothered?

What are these acronyms?

[witchy-scribblings]

the way he cares

haganezuka hotaru x reader

synopsis ➳ somehow, the worst part of being involved in a mild car accident isn't the actual accident, but having to deal with your annoying mechanic.

warnings ➳ car accidents, cussing, can be read as either platonic or romantic, lowercase

wordcount ➳ 0.7k

[crossposted on ao3]

“care to explain what the actual fuck happened to you?”

you had been dreading this moment all morning. well, actually, you had been dreading it for way longer than that. from the moment you were released from the hospital and fully comprehended the damage that your car had sustained, you had known that hotaru, your trusty (and that was the only kind way you could put it) mechanic, was going to give you absolute hell.

you were so not looking forward to it that you seriously considered pretending you weren’t home when you saw his old but reliable towing pickup truck pulling up in your driveway. alas, you had been the one to call him to get your car (if it could be considered a car anymore) to his workshop, so he knew that you were home and you knew that he’d kick down the door if you didn’t come out yourself.

“some fucker hit my car from behind and i got whiplash.” at this point, you had explained what had happened so many times, to the doctors, to your car insurance advisor, to your family and friends, that you had exhausted any patience you would have once spared the infuriating man. hotaru was known for asking the right questions in all the wrong ways, it was just that today you weren’t feeling like putting up with his usual bullshit. “so? can you fix my car or do i need to find a new mechanic?”

at that, he looked downright offended. “of course i can, who the hell do you take me for?” he delivered a hard look to your poor car and its misshapen rear, clicking his tongue. “you’re lucky this is covered by insurance. all this fucking damage…”

“no shit, haganezuka. i have eyes,” you scoff, and he doesn’t answer. instead, he sets to work loading your car onto the tow dolly attacked to the back of his pickup. you watched silently, wanting nothing more than to go back home and rest because your neck was a constant pain in the arse and the relentless july heat was making your neck sweat and itch uncomfortably under the cervical collar.

“you should be more careful,” he speaks suddenly, roughly, bringing you back from your thoughts, and you would have caught the hint of care if you hadn’t been pissed off by the way he dared to express it.

“don’t give me that fucking shit, hotaru. as if it’s my fault that someone else wasn’t paying attention on the road-”

“didn’t mean it like that,” he sighed raggedly, running a hand along the back of his neck, trying to collect the stray hairs that escaped his long ponytail. he didn’t bother elaborating, you didn’t think he had it in him. but you understood, regardless.

“i know,” your voice comes out surprisingly soft, and you see his lips press into the tight line that you’ve long associated to him trying to conceal any visible emotion other than anger.

hotaru is hopping back onto his own vehicle sooner than you can realize and, if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was avoiding looking at you. looks like that was more sincerity than he could stand in one morning.

“the towing service isn’t covered by insurance, but you can manage the fee, it won’t sting like a bitch.” he’d do that, start rambling when you knew he was feeling embarrassed. “i’ll call you when it’s ready to pick up, or bring it back here myself, whatever, but know that it’s gonna take a shit-long time. not that you can drive like that, anyways.” he buckled up, checking his mirrors reflexively and still not bothering to look at you. the fucker.

“maybe i’ll just start calling you to drive me places,” you tease, and that does earn you a hurried, offended glare to which you would have shrugged if your neck wasn’t so messed up. “i mean, i have groceries to buy, for example, which i might also need help with taking inside and putting away.” 

“you’re such a brat,” he grumbles, and you grin despite your predicament. his lips curl into a small, sneering smile of his own. “i’ll charge you for that.”

“of course you will.”

[corvus--rex]

This got a pretty "meh" response on the bird app. Let's see how it does here. This is parts 1 & 2 as of right now

~~~

pt 1

Ever think that the tight clothes, gloves, tiny jacket that does absolutely nothing are because Keith believes he doesn't deserve care, comfort, softness? Lance hadn't, until he really noticed Keith's body language for the first time after the Blade trials. The tightly crossed arms, how he kept himself separated from everyone else even when in the same room, how he always looked ready to bolt at the slightest whisper. He kept everyone at arm's length, reinforcing that distance with sharp-tongued jabs and insults.

It got so much worse after Shiro disappeared. Keith's normally prickly at best exterior had been dipped in venom and no one could stop him from disappearing for hours in Red, scouring space for any sign of his missing brother. Lance couldn't even begin to articulate the relief he felt when it came time to have Black pick a new paladin. He didn't want Keith to be forced into a role he was in no fit state to be in and had already decided that he wanted it to be himself instead. Keith may be an asshole, but Lance cared about that asshole.

Lance reluctantly sat in the pilot's seat, running reverent fingertips over the controls. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, the silence of the cockpit holding the weight of a tomb until he finally let out a shaky breath.

"Hey, Black. I-I know you probably don't want me, but it's only me and Keith left, and I know what Shiro said about him leading the team if anything happened, but…I don't think he can do it, and I know I'm not the best option, but I'd rather it be me than him. He needs time to come back from this. He needs to be taken care of for once, and if this is only way I can do that, if it means I have to lead the team, I'll do it. I know I'm not as smart as Pidge or Hunk, but I'm stubborn as fuck and I'll get there. Just, please, let me take this on so he doesn't have to."

If the silence had been heavy before, now it was oppressive. Slowly, the weight became pressure, a focused pressure in the back of his mind, silence growing into a whisper. A soft purr rolled through the cockpit as the controls flared to life, filling the space with an ultraviolet glow.

Lance released the breath he'd been holding all at once. "Thanks. I'll give it my best."

He tried to get up, but Black's mental presence pushed him back down, the projected image feeling more real than illusory. He recognized the mechanical angelic wings from when Shiro had last flown the lion, but then the image shifted, a fully formed Voltron taking up his field of vision with similar but much larger wings. The feeling he got from Black was one of reassurance and a hint of things to come. With another soft rumble, the mental pressure dissipated, and Lance stood, Blacks head lowering as he walked down the ramp to the collective shouts and cheers from the team.

Lance couldn't help but notice one voice missing. Keith stood leaning against the wall but instead of the closed-off posture he almost always adopted, his arms hung limply at his sides, the shock on his face overshadowed by the tears of pure relief threatening to spill over. Lance shot him a small smile, one that said 'it's ok, I got you'. Keith understood, shooting one back in thanks as he wiped the tears away and slipped out without anyone else noticing. Lance watched him go, a realization just as startling as Black accepting him as his paladin hitting with the force of that very lion.

'Oh,'

Lance thought,

'Oh shit.'

He could barely hear the rest of the team over his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

'I think I'm falling in love with him.'

-~-

pt 2

Lance tried to make the adjustment period as smooth as possible, but they were all dealing with Shiro's loss, all grieving in their own way, although none quite like Keith. He tried to accommodate him as much as possible - Lance knew too well the pain of losing family - but he still needed to run the team through drills, both on the training deck and in space, forming Voltron again and again until he was confident they could do it in the heat of battle, especially with Allura flying Blue.

Outside of training, Lance was having a harder time keeping his newly realized feelings in check. Keith was more closed off than he'd been in a while, so Lance kept an eye on him as best he could, inviting Keith to game and movie nights in the lounge, including him in more conversations during mealtimes, but never pushing, and always respecting the answers he got.

Keith had actually started to relax a bit, accepting invitations when he was up to it sitting alongside the team but not always participating in whatever they were doing that night, letting himself get drawn into conversations even if he wasn't actively adding anything, just listening. Lance was starting to think they were making progress, both as a team and with their healing process, until Thayserix.

They'd lost Lotor in the gas giant, and Lance had to watch as Red took off beyond the shortened range of Black's sensors. He knew Keith couldn't possibly hope to track Lotor through the gas, and landed on a nearby mineral structure to wait.

He couldn't contact the team, and there was nothing to see within visual range, so he was left with only his own thoughts. Lance thought about how he was handling leading the team - he was honestly a little surprised they'd accepted him as Black Paladin, but when Lance brought it up just after training one day Allura had said that Black chose him for a reason, just as all the lions had chosen their Paladins. Both Hunk and Pidge told him that they had been friends for a while, far longer than they'd been in space, he'd been their pilot back when they were a flight crew at the Garrison, and while he may have been a little unhinged, they trusted him then and they still did. Coran echoed all of their sentiments, adding that he understood how hard it was to push forward while so far from home and that he was genuinely proud of Lance for continuing on in spite of everything. Lance nearly broke down in front of the whole team, instead accepting one of Coran's patented Dad Hugs™.

What Keith had said surprised him. He'd gotten pulled into what became the group hug with Coran on Lance's other side, and when they broke apart, he'd said quietly, for Lance only, "Shiro trusted you. He'd be happy it was you to fly Black. I trust you too. Black picked you and I'm happy he did. You're a better leader than I could be."

The soft, /shy/ look on Keith's face made Lance's brain short-circuit. He scrambled to come up with something, anything, even remotely coherent as he watched Keith walk out with the rest of the team.

The only thought that came to mind was 'How dare he be that cute?' Lance froze. 'Oh I am so fucked.'

[chairwritexv]

Can i request platonic rottmnt little sibling chubby with all of the brothers HC?

Reader is same age as Mikey but what makes them different is they're on the plus size, their ninpo were made to be support class (and yes am thinking of rpg games).

This makes reader insecure about themselves; they're not " helping much " and they believe they're fat and not strong or skiny or have toned muscles like the rest of the mad dogs which put them down.

However the 4 brothers think otherwise and they have their own way to show their love & affection to reader/p

yess!! WE LOVE CHUBBY PEOPLE !!! i am such a green bean tho akfsjdns

also, i don’t play rpg games a ton, but after looking it up it appears to be a healer kinda? sorry if i got it wrong !

r a p h

is actually really surprised to learn youre insecure about your size and ninpo

he’s pretty big but doesn’t really have problems with it ??? of course he doesn’t really realize the difference between ‘beefy af’ and ‘le chubby’ lmao

he wasn’t entirely sure what to do at first bc he’s never seen this before

and with his sibling?.?? afjsjsj

when he realized/you told him he tilted his head in confusion stared at you before bursting out

“you don’t like your body??? why???”

“raph has a big body and he don’t care!”

didn’t understand at first

“you’re the most perfect little sibling raph could want !”

”no matter what yer size!”

kinda felt bad, he felt like he should’ve noticed sooner since he was the Big BrotherTM

made sure not to be accidentally offensive about it just in case

when one of those lose-weight-or-no-one-will-love-you thought inducing ads would come on raph would block the tv

“DONT LISTEN TO IT!! YOU ARE PERFECT NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SIZE!!!”

l e o

ok so. the lil shit probably teased you abt it in the past. but NOT in a rude or offensive way. like affectionate . well he tried to come off affectionate anyways …

he’d like just poke at your chub n stuff y’know?

he wasn’t really trying to be offensive he just found it interesting since all his other brothers were skinny beans, and raph was just super beefy

but oh my god

BOI FELT SO BAD WHEN YOU TOLD HIM YOU WERE INSECURE ABT IT

”…what?”

feels like it’s all his fault

apologizes so much abt it he’s the one the needs reassuring afsjdn

he wasn’t the main reason of your insecurities , but his teasing hadn’t helped it… yknow?

he reassured you there was nothing wrong with your body OR ninpo and no reason to be insecure abt it

tells you his past ‘teasing’ wasn’t meant to be rude in any way and apologizes

he hasn’t teased you abt it for awhile anyways, but still makes sure not to be rude abt it in any ways whatsoever

if one of those lose-weight ads comes on he’ll tell you a stupid joke or something to move your attention away from it

still feels bad abt the teasing tbh

d o n n i e

he’s the second most surprised

i mean, he knows that people feel insecure abt their chub sometimes thanks to the internet but he wasn’t expecting one of those people to be you

i mean, you weren’t even that chubby in his opinion

uses logic to reassure you that your body is fine in every way

same with your ninpo

”your ninpo is very important and crucial to the team, y’know-“

he will not have his little sibling being insecure >:(

if he notices you staring at yourself in the mirror with a less-then-positive-face on, he’ll drag you away from it under the guise of wanting to show you his latest invention

not good with emotions but he’s doing his best ok

if those lose-weight-and-you’ll-finally-be-perfect ads comes on he’ll either distract you somehow or cover your eyes with his battle shell arm

m i k e y

was confused at first, not understanding what you meant

when he finally understood he gasped

his twin?? disliking their body/ninpo???? UNACCEPTABLE

cue the doctor feelings speech

does absolutely everything in his power to make you feel good abt yourself

will draw you SPECIFICALLY highlighting your pudge bc there is nothing wrong with it and will take that to his grave

sends you body-affirming stuff at random times

will paint his nails with you whilst reassuring you you’re absolutely beautiful the way you are ✨

a lose-weight ad?

he will DRAMATICALLY scream at you not to watch it-

”Y/N! DONT WATCH IT!! ITS FULL OF LIES-“

-before hugging you and dramatically putting his hand to his head

”LIES!!!”

it’s such a funny distraction technique you can’t not burst out laughing

thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed!!!

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/749266210223489024/i-dont-care-about-what-xjz-did-but-the-idea-that#notes

Cooooooorrect me if I'm wrong. But this is about this: https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/748708287052218368/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost74823153155

Isn't it? Because that's literally the only post about XJZ and calling them out about the French stuff.

I've reread that post like three times now, and literally nowhere does it say "cultural appropriation". It's a critique of someone who IS a foreigner trying to educate people about the culture they live in, and people who actually do know more. XJZ has literally no ties to France or Europe. They're not French Chinese, they're not French Canadian. They're Chinese Canadian, and they have a really bad habit of arguing with French people who clear up actual facts about French history.

That has nothing to do with you ass-pulling the implication of "cultural appropriation", literally nothing in the OOOP even mentions that. In fact it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with this. It's not about cultural appropriation, it has to do with cultural and historical illiteracy of XJZ while trying to educate people through said illiteracy. This also does have something to do XJZ being someone who does factually not have any ties to France or French history, being a "mouthy foreigner" and "telling literal French people they're victims of propaganda and they're getting RS (Robespierre) and the French revolution all wrong," when people explain their own countries history and being a weird Frenchieboo about French politicians.

What has XJZ done to prove that they know more about the French Revolution or French history to try and educate others about these things beyond having a crush on that Politician and being into violent revolts? Like, what credentials do they have to tell everyone else they're wrong, even those educated in the specific field, while they themselves are correct with all their little headcanons and fluffy memes?

"someone having bad takes about a historical event that every country teaches in like middle school" You were taught something about French revolution, that doesn't mean it was taught well, or that you actually understand the historical, culture or after effects of that history in the actual country where it happened. Hell, even in the countries where something happened there's a habit that history is poorly taught, or not understood by the students, so what makes you think that what you learned about a foreign country was actually taught well or accurately? Or that you even understood the cultural significance to the people of that country when it was taught in middle school? That feels a bit like a weird thing to bring up anyhow, you were taught this in middle school, because that is going to make you an expert on it more so than people who live in that culture where the after-effects still exist, and/or people who actually studied that era of French history. Which again are people XJZ has quarrelled with and told them they're wrong all on the basis of their obsession.

And just to add this on, looking at the state of the internet and people in general, I really wouldn't flex with history education you received in school especially middle school, seeing as to how painfully historically illiterate people are to the point of not even being able to understand what they were taught. Historically literacy has literally been on a downward movement for some time now, especially with all the misinformation and uncritical acceptance of it by people.

Being culturally, historically and otherwise illiterate, and people calling them out for it is not the same as calling something "cultural appropriation", and by weaponizing and actually important term to defend their shit takes really isn't impressive. If you lie and/or misconstrue literal history, and people call you out on that it has nothing to do with calling "cultural appropriation" and everything to do with correcting historical misinformation, especially if it is something you have an actual understanding of. But I guess this also kinda explains the level of historical illiteracy that exists on the web, if there are more people like you out there.

--

[not-your-bro]

hi there! idk if u still do hcs, but if u do, can u do some platonic climbing class hcs? thank you!

hiya!! i am always doing hcs! depending on what i've got front of brain and how busy i am, it may take a minute for me to answer, but i am p much always ready & willing to yap 🫡

a lot of these hcs have been mentioned in fics of mine over the years, so apologies if any are familiar, but here's what i've got:

made short horror films together when they were kids. josh was the driving creative force, chris was the cameraman & editor. hannah and beth always featured in them, and so did their other friends from time to time. (jess loved being in them but she's a terrible actress LOL.) in an old fic of mine, i had josh make a dvd collection of these films and give them to chris as a present. josh would also keep a copy in the washingtons' media collection, and he rewatches them more than he'd admit. chris gets too much secondhand embarrassment to revisit them super often.

because absolutely nothing can keep them from yapping, they were nonstop note passers in school. josh was good at getting away with it, but chris wasn't - not as quick with the sleight of hand, and he always just looked like he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. at some point, josh had the bright idea to write their notes with invisible ink pens, so getting caught wasn't a big deal. in middle and high school, when they didn't spend all day in the same classroom together, they left notes in each other's lockers a lot.

always do joint halloween costumes, and they've been doing it for so many years that it's just an unspoken, understood thing that they'll be dressing up together. some costumes i think they'd do: billy and stu from scream; adam and lawrence from saw; wayne and garth from wayne's world; lloyd and harry from dumb and dumber (the ugly suits specifically); ian malcolm and alan grant from jurassic park.

chris was deeply into the lord of the rings movies as a kid, and even though he didn't get far in the books (not a reader), he thought it was cool that tolkien made up an entire language. so...you can guess what he and josh tried to do... it wasn't deep/robust - more individual words/common phrases than a proper language - but they liked being able to communicate with each other in a way only they could understand. sometimes they did it for privacy, other times to be annoying. like it bothered beth to no end, so the boys definitely just made shit up in front of her to get a rise, even though they had no idea what the other was saying.

chris drinks mainly to keep up with josh, even though he doesn't particularly care for alcohol unless it's masked in a mixed drink. but chris likes to smoke weed, and so does josh, so they're always slipping outside together to smoke. when they were younger, they really tried to keep it secret - had a little hideout in the woods and everything. later, they realized that a) it was pretty obvious what they were doing and b) nobody gave a shit. so as they got older josh liked to make up increasingly ridiculous reasons for why they needed to step out.

chris is largely the driver and josh the passenger princess, and if other friends are riding with them, josh has to get shotgun or it's, like, a problem. he's such a baby about it - he just feels it's his seat. when josh drives it's because he had an idea of something they could do together, and he just sort of...showed up at chris's house. leading to lots of text exchanges like this

in this vein, they hang out constantly but they don't often make set plans or decide what they're doing beforehand. it's really just a lot of hanging out, in the purest sense of the word, and they aren't opposed to parallel play - each doing their own thing in the same room, like chris playing a game while josh doodles and half-watches. lots of late nights turn into unplanned sleepovers, to the point that josh bought an extra toothbrush to keep in the bathroom for just such occasions. whenever friends or family are like "what'd you guys do?" they get shrugs and "nothing really." which sounds like a brush-off, but most of the time it is nothing really, and imo that's the best part of their friendship to me. they can do fuck-all for hours and still enjoy themselves together. no stress, no expectation. and i think this is crucial for both of them, for different reasons. chris has social anxiety and josh is always On. for chris, being with josh doesn't trigger that anxiety, and for josh, being around chris doesn't require the same level of performance. it's just comfortable.

[pascalscoffin]

Tentaciones Sáficas

-Sapphic Temptations-

Full Pedro Masterlist

Warning: Minors Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. This is… literally just porn. Reader is female and uses she/her pronouns. Reader is a lesbian. Reader is described as having an “athletic body” and is hc’d to go to the gym (do with that what you will), and tattoos (above as well as patchwork on her forearms and hands). Reader and Louis are friends NOT in a relationship. Fat ass crush on Claudia though you’re welcome. Claudia is a liiiittle bit ooc, sorry. Readers nickname is 'Bee'. Smut: Vaginal fingering; oral (f receiving); Strap-on use; Claudia is such a little bottom I'm not sorry, I just like the idea of her being super mean but like... falling apart when someone's got their hand between her thighs; a little lickin', a little bitin'. Reader understands Spanish but only says a couple Spanish words (I think).

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You met Louis Flores your sophomore year of college when you were somehow put in the same dorm room together, you’d stuck it out for a few weeks before everything was straightened up, but you and Louis kept in touch and often hung out between classes.

Now- Louis was a nice boy, and relatively handsome. But there were absolutely no romantic feelings between the two of you, considering you were a raging lesbian who often had a different girl in her bed every night. He was a good friend, stable and straight laced enough he made sure you didn’t go crazy with your exploits, and being a shoulder for you to cry on. You on the other hand, you made sure Louis didn’t waste his life hunched over a book or his laptop studying, and when he needed it you were there for him.

Junior year was when you decided to get an apartment together. That was also when you finally met his mother, Claudia. You’d gone out partying the night before so you slept until about noon, stumbling out of your room in nothing but a tshirt and panties, met with the sight of Louis being smothered in a hug by a woman with a pink cardigan.

At first, Claudia had assumed the two of you were dating and had immediately gone into a tangent about you not wearing any clothes to meet your boyfriend’s mother, cursing you in Spanish. Louis- poor sweet Louis had panicked, frantically explaining to his mother that you weren’t who she thought you were. That he wasn’t your type.

Of course, Claudia was still extremely displeased with your state of undress, and when you came back from your room, now wearing a pair of sweatpants she’d bombarded you. “What does he mean he is not your type? What is wrong with my son? You would be lucky to have him.” You’d suppressed the urge to laugh directly in her face before you explained yourself.

Her face had turned 100 shades of red when you told her that while Louis was a sweet and kind boy, you yourself were a lesbian, and that he was a bit out of your age range. Naturally, she hadn’t quite understood and when she started to go on another rave about how fantastic her son was, you told her you weren’t interested in people your own age.

While she was processing that information, her face bright red and her eyes wide, you’d looked her up and down, smirked a little, and then stepped away from her to grab a water from the fridge.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

It didn’t take long for Claudia to warm up to you, especially when she realized she had another person to talk shit with about Louis’ many girlfriends he would bring home to her. Which isn’t to say you hated any of them, they got Louis help for his depression and ADD, conditions Claudia insisted he didn’t have, but each of them had.. less than redeeming qualities and you and Claudia had made a habit of pointing them out, sometimes in front of the girlfriends, and sometimes alone.

The first time the two of you hung out alone had been a few weeks after you met. You’d been at the door, the woman from the night before smiling and cupping your cheek as you’d said goodbye. She was around Claudia’s age, not quite at that mark but not far from it either. Your arm had been around her back, lips locked with hers before you were pulling away and she was making her way down the hall.

When you looked up you saw Claudia, looking a bit uncomfortable as she headed to the door, nodding politely at the woman before looking at you. “Do you do that often?” You tilted your head curiously before realizing what she meant. “How often is often?” You stepped to the side and let her in. “Louis isn’t here, by the way. He’s at a job interview.”

She walked in regardless and you raised a brow, closing the door behind her slowly. “More than two times a week.” You hummed and pursed your lips. “Then yes. I do it often.” You laughed softly. “It’ll be a while before he-“ “I didn’t come to see my son. I know he is not home.” You raised a brow. “Oh. Alright. So then you came to talk to little ol’ me?”

She nodded, keeping her purse close as she surveyed the wrecked image of the living room you shared with her son. “This was all me.” You told her, starting to pick up couch pillows and the sports bra you were looking for. “Trust me- if Louis saw this living room he’d probably kill me.” When you looked at Claudia you found her staring at the couch like she was putting things together, her face darkening.

You looked at the couch and bit your tongue as you smirked before clearing your throat and looking at Claudia. “We can sit at the bar if you prefer.” You raised a brow, moving past her and sliding a chair out at the bar. Claudia snapped out of her daze when the stool scraped against the floor and quickly walked over and sat down. “Gracias.” She watched as you smiled and went to the fridge.

“De nada. Can I get you something to drink?” You grabbed a water for yourself, always quick to satisfy that dry roughness in your throat after a long night. “We have water, tea, soda, and… fruit punch.” "Tea is fine."

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The second time, you sat closer together, on the couch as Claudia ranted about Louis’ new girlfriend, how shed been so proud of the cookies she brought “and they were store bought!” She’d exclaimed, shaking her head and cursing in Spanish.

You’d laughed a little, amused by Claudia’s nitpicking. “I didn’t like her very much anyway.” You shrugged and made a face. “She tried too hard. Way too hard.” Claudia made a face as she agreed with you.

You’d gotten her a drink, something alcoholic and you’d noticed when you came back she’d scooted a little further away on the couch, held her purse tighter in her lap, one leg crossed over the other and her head spinning around like she was taking in the state of the apartment.

She’d come later in the day, probably as to not run into whoever you’d had over the night before. She avoided the couch pillows that had been on the floor the last time she’d come over, all but sitting on the edge of the couch. You could’ve laughed if you weren’t afraid she’d hit you or something.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The fifth time she came around, you’d had several dinners with her and Louis at this point so the two of you got along great.

Shed made a habit of coming around when Louis wasn’t home after her second visit, you weren’t sure why but you didn’t mind it either.

Your attraction towards her had grown rapidly, you had a thing for women that didn’t hold back what they thought, a woman with attitude that could still dote and care for you.

She’d started coming earlier, as well, confidently passing whoever you’d had over the night before. This time, as she sat on the couch much more comfortably than before, she crossed her hands over her knees and started to casually rip on the poor woman that had just left.

“She is a step down, no?” You raised a brow at her and laughed in surprise. “What?” “Your women- they are usually prettier.” “Huh…” you looked at the door, and then Claudia and smirked. “I hadn’t noticed.” “I'm just saying. Parecía... bastante desesperada. More so than the rest.” She seemed… a little desperate. She shrugged and looked over at you, regretting it immediately.

You weren’t fully dressed this time, athletic body barely covered by a Calvin Klein sports bra and a pair of gray joggers, the waistband of a pair of women’s boxers peeking out. Tattooed body basically screaming at her, the big one covered your entire torso and shoulders, but the ones on your forearms and hands looked abstract, like they were random rather than one thing, when she’d complained about them to Louis he called them ‘patchwork’, she didn’t understand. But she wasn’t complaining now, she found herself appreciating the ink when she saw it, she'd dreamed about it a few times but she would never admit it, not even to herself.

You raised a brow and then she was speaking again before you could respond. “Do your tattoos have meaning?” She squinted and you looked down at your arms and torso, humming. “Some of them do. This bee right here is for my nickname- friends always called me Bee, the rest of the Bee centered tattoo are just my favorite flowers. This one on my hand is my mom's favorite flower, this one on my wrist is a reference to my dad's favorite movie. A few of them have meaning but a lot of them are just shi-ssstuff I thought was cool.” Learning not to cuss around Claudia had been a bit difficult, but after she whacked the back of your head for the fourth time, you started watching your tongue better.

She hummed and stared at your tattoos for a moment before she frowned and looked at the drink you’d given her. You tilted your head and watched the contemplative look on her face for a moment before speaking. “Something on your mind?” You asked curiously, leaning forward from your laid back position.

"Why not women your own age?" You puffed your cheeks out in thought and shrugged. "No real reason... they know what they want, I guess. Most older women... kinda just go for it, sometimes I have to play the strings a bit but its fun. Plus..." your eyes trailed over her slowly, stopping on her breasts and then sliding to her crossed legs. "They're more mature. Physically and emotionally, if it's just a one off they get that, they can keep the two things separate."

"You don't want to settle down, then?" You shrugged a little. "Maybe eventually, but I'm still young, no point in doing that now, right?" She hummed quietly in thought and nodded along to what you were saying.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The sixth time she came over was when it all fell into place, though. She'd come later in the day, Louis was off with his current girlfriend and had convinced you to have a quiet night in since you'd gone out every night of the week. He'd had a point anyway.

It was about 9:30 when you heard a knock, not too light but light enough you wouldn't expect Claudia to be on the other side of it. Or to be out at all after 8. "Claudia." You laughed, a little surprised as she gently nudged her way into the apartment, coming to a stop next to the island. "Louis is-" "Out with Alice, yes I know." She turned to you, clutching her purse.

She looked nice, the undershirt she covered with that pink cardigan was a little tighter than usual, cut lower so you could see her cleavage and your mouth was trying to determine if it should be dry or drooling as you cleared your throat. her pants were the same, soft and loose with an off-white color to them, and her slippers she usually wore at home were replaced with a slightly heeled shoe you'd never seen her wear before. "... what's been going on with you lately?" You asked after a moment, causing her to widen her eyes and straighten up. "¿A qué te refieres?" What do you mean?

You raised a brow and slowly moved closer to her. You hoped you were reading the last few visits right, hoped you weren't reading too much into the questions about the women that spent the night in your apartment or the lingering stares you'd begun to notice. "You haven't really been yourself- no snappy remarks about my state of undress, or a mess in the living room, you were particularly harsh about my rameras grabbing their things when you sat on that bra after dinner with Louis last week." Whores You tilted your head a bit. “He told you I said that?” “He did.”

Claudia opened and closed her mouth, a bit like a fish before you continued. "And then there's your clothes.." "my clothing?" You nodded and let your eyes fall to her cleavage, your tongue running along your bottom lip slowly before you looked back up at her eyes. "Unless... I'm reading this wrong and you're trying out something new." You tilted your head a bit and she opened her mouth, closed it, and then finally spoke.

"A friend in my club de lectura... was talking." Book club She cleared her throat. "And she mentioned trying something... new... with a younger woman." You raised a brow and crossed your arms slowly. "Mhm..." Claudia furrowed her brows a bit as she thought.

What was she doing here? She was actually going to ask you... no. No, she wasn't going to ask that. She wanted to put truth to what she'd heard. That's all. Then why did she wear this ridiculous shirt? She was a grown woman, in her golden years, she had no business showing off her breasts, especially not to someone young enough to be her daughter.

"She mentioned your name. I wanted to know if it was another Bee or if it was you." You blinked a couple times and then cleared your throat. "... okay." She nodded and then pulled a folded picture from her purse and handed it to you. You took the picture curiously and looked down at it, immediately recognizing her. "Oh, yeah. Anastasia. She was here... gosh about a month ago. It was one of those days you came later in the day, i think you'd managed to just barely miss her, actually."

Claudia's eyes widen and she snatched the photo from your hands. "That is all. Goodnight." She went to move past you but you quickly stepped in front of her with a soft laugh. "Woah. What's the rush? You came all the way here for a yes or no question?" You raised a brow as she huffed. "I wanted to confirm the things she said. I have. Now I'm leaving."

"Well... technically all you did was confirm that she was here." You teased lightly, watching her cheeks as they darkened more than they already had, her hand reaching up to move some of her soft white hair out of her face. "When?" She snapped her head towards you with a curious frown. "¿Qué?" You laughed softly. "When was this bookclub meeting?"

She huffed and looked towards the door before responding. "Two weeks ago." A slow smirk spread across your face. "Oh, really? Hm, let's see, that's right around the last time we were alone, no?" You tilted your head and she glared at you before looking to the side to avoid your eyes.

People didn't make her nervous, she made people nervous. She wasn't used to this, being on the receiving end of some form of taunting, being made to feel small. She didn't... hate it.

"Yes. I wanted to see if I could tell that she was here. Are you happy?" Claudia scoffed and held her purse close again as you laughed softly. "Hm..." You smirked a bit and her cheeks turned pink as you moved closer and reached out to gently pull her purse from where it was pressed against her torso, setting it down on the island slowly and turning your eyes back to her. "Why?" You asked softly.

"¿Por qué?" Why? Claudia mumbled to herself with a small frown, like she hadn't expected to be asked that question, like she hadn't thought of why she wanted to know so bad. You nodded and slowly crowded her against the island, leaving her room to push you off and move away if she really wanted to. "Mhm... why did it matter so much?"

Claudia opened her mouth, brows furrowed together. Why did it matter so much? You were grown, you weren't her child, you could seduce whomever you wanted, there was nothing she could do to stop it. Was she jealous? No... no she wasn't jealous. She wasn't interested in women, she wasn't, sure in highschool she... experimented with friends but that's all it had been, simple exploration.... the fact that she thought about it for decades afterwards doesn't mean anything.

It certainly doesn't mean she wants you to do to her what you'd done to Anastasia.

"You know... if you wanted to try... I would be open to it." You were caging her in a bit, hands pressed on the island on either side of her hips, looking into her eyes with a soft smile. Claudia's eyes widened. "¿P-perdón?" E-excuse me? She stuttered, shaking her head a little.

"Well I can keep a secret. You won't have to worry about Louis finding out... you get to relax, let go of some of that tension..." one of your hands moved from the counter and landed gently on her waist, high enough that it could still be considered friendly, bordering just on the lines of something else. "And experience something new- just for you."

Please say yes repeated over in your head like a mantra. Been dreaming about it. Please

At first it looked like she was going to say no, deny you and run out to call Louis and tell him to move back in with her. But then she was looking down at the hand on her waist, her eyes trailing the length of your arm, across your clavicle, and then down to your waist. You wondered how detailed Ana had gotten, if she'd told Claudia and the gaggle of horny milfs about the toy.

".... Dios mio." You heard Claudia whisper before her lips were shoved against yours. You hummed and brought your other hand to her cheek as your hand squeezed her hip and pressed her into the counter, stepping closer to press against her as she let out a soft moan.

You hummed softly and gently nudged her legs apart with your knee as your hand slid from her waist and dipped into her pants, your hand cupping over her through her underwear. Claudia groaned and dropped her head back for a second before coming back in to kiss you, pushing down into your hand as your tongues tangled.

You smiled a bit against her mouth and ran your fingers over her clit through her underwear slowly as she moaned. Her hips pressed into your hand a little, her hands reaching out to grip onto the black tshirt you were wearing.

You pulled away to presses kisses to her neck, sighing happily as you nuzzled her a bit. "Wanted to do this so bad." You whispered against her ear as she shuddered. "¿En serio? ¿Cuánto tiempo?" You have? How long?

You grinned and nodded. "Mmm since you yelled at me for not wearing any pants." You laughed softly. "Think you're hot when you get angry like that." You purred softly and nipped at her earlobe as she gasped. "And when you hit me for cussing?" You huffed and bit her shoulder this time. "Makes me wanna fuck the meanness right out of you." As you said that you slid your hand up and then pushed it past the waistband of her panties.

Claudia gasped a little louder and moaned as she dropped her back for a second, shuddering a little as you started rubbing her clit again, this time without her satiny underwear in the way. A grin spread across your face as you watched her, biting your lip lightly. “Knew you’d be pretty, too.” You whispered softly.

Her face was red, spreading to her ears and then down her neck and chest. Your eyes fell to her cleavage and you groaned quietly before pressing kisses down her neck, to her clavicle, and then finally nuzzling into her breasts a little, pressing kisses to the exposed flesh.

Claudia was looking down at the top of your head, blinking blearily as she rocked down against your hand, holding onto your arm tightly. “Necesito más. Por favor, por favor necesito más.” I need more. Please, please I need more. She begged.

You cooed softly but gave her what she wanted, sliding two fingers into her with just a little resistance as she gasped and moaned. “Sí.” She opened her eyes to look at you and was met with you staring wide eyed at her breasts, watching her chest rise and lower before you leaned down to press a kiss to the mole on top of her breasts.

You peered up at her, grinning a little as you started fucking your fingers into her. She whined and pushed down on your fingers, shuddering happily. “So good. You’re so good.” She held onto your shirt as she rocked down on your fingers.

You hummed happily and leaned close to her neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin before sliding your tongue from where her neck and shoulder met, up to the little spot behind her ear before pressing against it, making her yelp and moan louder. The yelp was a surprise, but you recovered quick enough and laughed lowly as you tugged on her earlobe before starting to fuck her deeper with your fingers. Her legs shook a little, her grip on you tightening as she moaned and rocked down on your fingers.

“Poor mama.” You purred softly. “Pussies been neglected so long, huh?” You ground the heel of your palm into her clit as you massaged that familiar spot you’d been searching for. “Jus’ been waitin’ for someone to treat her right.” Claudia shuddered and gasped, grinding down on your fingers as she nodded rapidly, she didn't have the mind to scold you for being so explicit about it.

Unfortunately, because God hates you and wants you to suffer, you started to heard keys in the lock, Louis' keys obviously, and managed to pull away just before he and Alice stumbled into the apartment, giggles falling from her lips.

Alice. You didn't like Alice, something felt fake there, something in the way she smiled and spoke, the way she always wanted to be close to you, lingering around the apartment, sometimes half-dressed as she sat next to you. But Louis liked her, and since she hadn't actually done anything yet, it was possible you were just imagining things.

"¿Mamá? ¿Qué haces aquí?" Mom? What are you doing here? Louis came to a stop with a small frown, looking between you and his mother as you stepped away from her and towards the fridge. "Left my lighter last time we were at dinner. She was kind enough to bring it back." You licked your fingers clean as you opened the fridge, trying to seem calm as Claudia nodded rapidly and made her way to do the door.

"Yes. I know she needs it for her.. candles and.. such. So." Claudia cleared her throat loudly and straightened herself up a bit before smiling a soft smile at Louis, a slightly bitter one for Alice, and an unreadable one at you before she was hurrying out the door with a rush Adiós.

Louis and Alice looked at you as the door closed. "Was she alright? She wasn't yelling at you for something was she?" You rolled your head and shook your head, sitting your drink down. "No, Louis. You know I love your mom. Even if she did yell at me- I'd do anything for the woman." Louis furrowed his brows suspiciously before nodding. "Alright well... we'll see you in the morning."

You nodded and saluted to him as he tugged Alice to his room, making a face when you noticed the way Alice's eyes had scanned over you. You shuddered a little before sighing and going to your own room. Horny and lonely. Lonely.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

The next day you decided to go to her house. Alice and Louis would be in the apartment all day, so at 12:30 you packed your little backpack and went to Claudia's house. You hesitated at first, knuckles hovering before you knocked on the door, chewing on your bottom lip.

By 1:15 you were in her bed, buried between her legs with your tongue as deep inside of her as you could get it, Spanish explitives flying from her mouth as she rocked down on your tongue, fingers gripped tightly in your hair. You moaned and whimpered happily, reaching between your legs to give yourself some relief, looking up at her the best you could as you licked and sucked on her clit eagerly, slurping a little as her wetness started to pool.

You'd been on her the second you found out she wasn't expecting any company, your tongue down her throat and your hand in her pants, fucking into that spongey spot you'd felt the night before. You'd just barely made it to her bedroom before you were shoving her pants down and pushing her onto the bed, diving deep between her legs as she let out a loud moan.

By 1:30 you were climbing off the bed, grabbing your backpack and pulling out the red, velvet harness and strapping it on once you had the dildo put in place. It was a healthy 7 inches, thick and curved a bit towards the tip with fake veins added for friction. The color was a fleshy color, matching your own perfectly.

Claudia looked at you in awe, lifting up on her elbows a bit. Her cheeks and neck were red, travelling down her chest, skin shiny with sweat as she panted softly. "Oh mi … te ves hermosa, Bee." Oh my... you look beautiful, Bee. She said breathlessly, making you smile a little as you laughed, tightening the harness around your waist. "Thank you." You leaned down and kissed her softly, cupping her cheek gently.

With your other hand you reached down to guide the fake cock into her, pressing your forehead against hers as she let out a long, low gasp, her eyes fluttering shut. That was your favorite part, watching the pleasure fill their body and make them go slack under you almost immediately. All for you. Because of you.

You let go of the dildo and set your thumb on her clit, rubbing in soft concentric circles, waiting for Claudia's rapid head nod before you started fucking into her, grinding your hips at a torturously slow pace as she moaned deeply. You leaned back, watching her closely as you fucked into her.

Her skin was tan, glistening in the light from her lamp as a thin sheet of sweat covered it, darkening as the blush deepened and spread further down her chest. “Look so pretty like this, Claudia.” You mumbled softly, running your hands over her curves before sliding up and squeezing her breasts gently. “Been dreaming about getting you like this.” You shook your head. “Knew you’d be so pretty under me.”

Claudia moaned as she looked up at you, big brown eyes wide and wet as her fingers tangled in her sheets tightly. “Harder. Por favor. Harder.” She whimpered, rocking her hips to meet yours.

You cooed. “Shh, I got you.” You gently pushed her hips down and started fucking into her harder, keeping the same pace because anyone with brain cells knows harder doesn’t mean faster. She moaned louder, her eyelids fluttering as her back arched off the bed and she pulled on the bedsheet, gasping softly.

You reached down and started rubbing her clit, moaning softly when the dildo started to get creamy, grinning widely. “Look at that…” you pulled out some and reached down to collect it on your finger before holding it out to her. “Taste.” You thought she was going to say no, peering at your finger like you were crazy before she leaned down and sucked your finger clean, keeping her eyes glued to yours.

You grinned and grabbed her jaw gently before diving in to kiss her, moaning happily as her taste spread through both of your mouths. “Fuck..” you mumbled softly before reaching down to rub circles on her clit again, pushing into the kiss.

It wasn’t long before Claudia’s eyes were squeezing shut tightly, a loud moan spilling from her mouth as she came, legs trembling as she wrapped them around you to keep you close. You kept up what you were doing, rubbing her clit while you ground your hips much slower and softer than you had before as you worked her through it.

When her trembles were reduced to the occasional twitch, you slid out and pressed kisses to her cheek and neck as you laid next to her and loosened the harness to pull it off.

“Dios mio.” She whispered softly, staring at the ceiling as you laughed softly. “Stay there.” You kissed her cheek again before climbing out of bed. You got her a glass of water and a clean warm towel, you handed her the water as you sat between her legs to clean her up. “You made a mess.”

She huffed and nudged you with her foot. “Don’t be vile.” You rolled your eyes as you laughed. “It’s true.” “You talk like you were raised in a barn.” She furrowed her brows. “I keep forgetting you’re a classy lady.” You teased with a soft pout, tossing the rag to the floor.

Then you felt a smack to the side of your head. “Ow-!” “Pick that up. There’s a laundry hamper in the bathroom.” You grumbled and got up, picking up the rag and taking it to the bathroom, dropping it in the hamper before coming back to her room and laying in bed next to her.

“Could do this all day. Should do this all day.” You hummed softly and closed your eyes. “Alice is at the apartment- and I don’t like being around her.” You sighed heavily. “Why?” You felt the bed sink as Claudia laid back next to you.

You looked over at her with a hum, smiling softly when you looked in her eyes, sighing. “She’s weird. Think she’s trying to come onto me or something.” You shrugged a little. “Jokes on her though.” You hummed. “Already got the one I want.” You winked as her cheeks brightened and she shook her head.

“Louis should break up with her.” “Yeah I’ve tried several times already. She’s got him pussy whipped or- if you don’t stop hitting me.” You rubbed your chest and glared at her. “Stop cursing in my house and I’ll stop hitting you.”

You huffed and shook your head before looking up at the ceiling again, smiling softly and laughing as you closed your eyes. “I got more stuff to show you.” “.. I don’t have anything coming up today.” You grinned and bit your lip lightly. “Well we can make it an all day thing… at least until Louis starts getting nosey.” You shrugged. “He’ll call when Alice leaves. He hates being alone, Y’know. That’s why he’s got all the girlfriends.”

Claudia huffed. “My son is not lonely. Flores’ do not get lonely.” You rolled your eyes. “If they didn’t get lonely… you wouldn’t be laid up with a girl young enough to be your daughter.” You smirked and moved on top of her, tilting your head before slowly kissing down her body. “Now- we’re gonna stop talking about Louis so that I can give you the attention you deserve.”

She swallowed thickly and let her head fall back as she watched you disappear under the blanket, eyelids fluttering as her fingers tangled in the sheets again.

“Dios Mio~.”

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Shut up shut up shut up

[gaasuba]

Cramps

AO3 link

"You ok, man?"

Hobie quickly fixed his posture, Miles' voice snapping him back to reality. He didn't remember bracing himself against the wall, or closing his eyes. And of course he was monochrome.

"Yeah, mate. Just regretting skipping breakfast is all," he hoped the lie was convincing enough. He shot web to follow Pav and Gwen before Miles had time to doubt him. He was also thankful how each jerk of the web cycled his colors. Tho he was worried and irritated by his obvious lack of reds.

"Hey! Is Hobie okay?" Pav asked past him.

"I don't know," Miles answers from behind.

"I'm right fuckin here!" Hobie snapped, "I'm brilliant! Thanks for bloody asking! Absolutely chuffed to bits!"

Silence.

Hobie prayed to the gods he may or may not believe in that the silence was them allowing it.

"Dude. If skipping breakfast does this to you, we're gonna have to make some sort of rule or maybe all start carrying-" Hobie cut off Miles' wasted planning.

"I didn't skip breakfast. Just that not everything's your business, innit?"

"Well, it is our business if it's gonna be a problem when we run into trouble."

Hobie was going to groan at Gwen joining them against him but Pav replies.

"No, no! Gwen!" he drops his voice, "I really do think we should drop it."

Hobie's chest felt cold at how horribly unsubtle Pav was being. How did he even figure it out??

"Wha- Okay! Time out!" Gwen swung to the next roof and yanked Hobie to her. The web snatching him in a new direction caused his insides to jerk uncomfortably. It took a lot of concentration to land gracefully. He wasn't able to stop the strained grunt that escaped him, but he was proud of himself for not hugging his own stomach.

He stood up with a heavy exhale and met Gwen's gaze, expecting to match her frown with his own, but her eyes were wide.

Shit...

"Gwen! I really think-" she cut off his arrival.

"Yeah, Pav! You were right! My bad!"

They were both so bad at this. Pav he understood, but he expected better from Gwendy!

"What!?" Miles was, thankfully, still thick. "What is happening? Are you guys speaking telepathically or some shit? What just happened??"

Hobie's hips were starting to ache from standing so he sat cross legged. He started fingering his guitar silently in an attempt to ignore his friends talk like he wasn't even there.

"Really Miles, it's nothing," Gwendy's attempt at a save was pathetic, "You and Pav should go ahead and I'll help Hobie sort things out."

"Sort what out!?"

"No, Gwen. I really think I should stay. I have more experience with this than you."

Hobie didn't realize he wasn't practicing his guitar any more.

"What!? How!?" Gwen.

"Gayatri has asked for my help every month for the past year and a half!"

"TMI, dude!" Miles.

Hobie didn't realize he was hugging his guitar to his stomach as if he could will it to become a heating pad.

But he did notice the silence.

He didn't look up. He didn't want to see the three wide pairs of stupid white eyes staring into him.

He scraped the strings of his guitar to make it scream like he wished he could. It was better than the silence.

He heard his friends sit besides and in front of him. He didn't lift his head but noted the crumpled masks in their laps when he opened his eyes.

"You're all horrible" he said.

"Yeah..." they all said together.

"You want us to get you something, bud?"

Hobie couldn't help but scoff at Miles' new term of endearment.

"Nah. But I'd like to return this pity party. It's not what I ordered."

"Alright then," Miles bounced from sitting to standing so fast, just seeing it in his peripheral made Hobie want to groan in pain, "Let's go, Spiderman! What are you sitting around for??"

"Miles!" Gwen and Pav snapped

"What? He said no pity party. Should I uncancel his order? Because I can be back on for snacks and hot baths instead."

Hobie wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. Instead, he groaned only partially in frustration. A bath sounded so good. He didn't even have a tub back home.

"Alright, you git. You win. Bring on the pity party."

The others immediately switched gears.

"We should go to my place," Gwen said as she stole his guitar, strapping it over her own shoulder. " My dad will be cool and my room's big enough for all of us."

Pav offered him a hand up as she opened her portal, "Do you want a piggy back?"

Hobie accepted the hand up but laughed imagining his limbs splayed around his tiny friends. "Nah, mate. Maybe sometime when it hurts less."

As he followed them through the portal, he couldn't help grinning, feeling lucky to have them around. He wasn't surprised to see himself pink.

[itsbetterthananal]

as a team lead my shift is about to be an absolute disaster and my life is about to be hell bc the one competent person is going part time (“i’ll still be here!” she says, girl you’re gonna be here the hours they need you not the hours you want), the other full time person is the most vindictive spiteful bitch ive ever had the displeasure of being around who fully believes im out to get her and im not, she is just constantly making mistakes after being here for 6 months, and the person theyre bringing in to fill the full time position, as much as i think hes a good person and does okay work, refuses to take notes and forgets everything i train him how to do and has an attention span of like 5 minutes until he gets bored and talks about all the famous people he knows. like. ive trained and worked with at least 8 other people on this shift since i started here and ive never had a real issue with any of them (one of them annoyed the crap out of me but that was just a personal issue) they all worked fine and understood our tasks pretty quickly and adjusted to the workflow of the office. and now you’re gonna give me this shit and expect me not only to train but uphold what needs to be done every night with people who refuse to work with me, to the point that i am forced to make tasks so basic that i cant even just make a list of closing tasks and say complete this list by the end of the night, i have to break down the list into sections and assign it because these grown ass motherfuckers cannot just PICK STUFF OFF A LIST AND PUT THEIR INITIAL NEXT TO IT. like. its so ridiculous. my mental health is actually being stretched thin and i swear my managers are looking at it like a test of “can she handle managing people” bitch ive been managing this shift since a year before i became official lead, before the actual supervisor was hired, i just hate being micromanaged or micromanaging, just be a grown up and do your fucking work and work as a team, is it that hard????? the walking on eggshells around my one coworker is actually causing me stress to the point that my eye started twitching cause she will switch on a dime, i will put forth the effort to have a friendly rapore with her and the moment one stressful event happens that she interprets as a slight, its over. suddenly she “knows what im doing” and how “im in a bullying pact against her” girl all i said was “i think so-and-so is on break” and she literally confronted me over the bullshit she made up in her own head. im done with it but no matter how many times i speak w management or HR they do nothing about it. i dont want this to be the end because i love my job and i really really love the friends i have made there but they are testing my patience fr

also, for the record, this lady is 62. why are you beefing with people in their 20s. how are you in your 60s and this immature

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

In honor of Pride Month I think its fair to absolutely lose it over these panels again

Everytime I get back to these panels its just so overwheming.

Over the entire series we see Slade love and be loved but it doesnt really last does it? All these women even addi but it never lasts it always dies out. They or Slade always leaves. Someone always leaves be it on purpose or not.

Except Wintergreen.

Out of all of them hell even Addi herself sometimes, Wintergreen has dealt with SO much shit from slade directly and or indirectly.

He of all people has more than enough reason to leave, turn around and never come back. He could leave him, rat him out, hell even kill him but he doesnt. Through everything he stays. Even when he has every reason even when it kills him. And thats just not something you see. I mean srsly. Show me another comic from that time period that had a man who at times could be horrible that had a bestfriend someone who stuck through everything for them. Someone who even without labeling it LOVED them. Because be honest with yourself. You dont stick with someone forever, be there for them for everything if you dont care, if you don't love them. And it could be platonic it could be more who cares. Its still insanely obvicous that Slade snd Billy cared so much about each other that even people around them, EVEN PAT WHO WAS ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH SLADE AT THE TIME SAW IT.

Another thing about these 2 pages that will ALWAYS have me losing it is the conversation between pat and slade and the last 3 panels afterwards.

The conversation: Slade asks Pat to tell him about billy. Not only does he ask what kind of man he is the one question that stands out to me is "were we really that close". Then Pat answers that they were so close that it didnt even seem like just friends anymore because of how much they cared for each other. because be honest. It would have to take a lot of love to deal with what they deal with. She even adds that billy cares for him more than a friend and also says not in a fatherly way either. Even mentions if she didn't know any better she would think they were gay.

Panel 1: Slade and Pat sleep together after the entire conversation. The thing is the entire conversation leading up to them sleeping together was not about pat, its not about her and Slade, no its about Slade and WINTERGREEN. Even after everything said and done Slade doesnt talk. Pat just falls alseep after.

Panel 2: still no words are said but with a sleeping pat we see a wide awake slade. Hes obviously thinking but about what. Hes turned toward the right looking ahead deep in thought and this is where the 3rd panel rips my heart into pieces

Panel 3: Wintergreen is also wide awake in bed. Unlike slade though he isnt turned toward the right no he is turned toward the left. Almost as if he and slade are staring at each other. Still while no words are said nothing is written its very obvious this means something. It means alot. An entire conversation. Thinking about their closness. Their relationship. What they mean to each other.

And the most heartbreaking thing here. Is that Slade doesnt remember Wintergreen in this moment. When asked pat could have said something like. Oh. Bestfriend. Father figure. But no. She told the truth. She told as how everyone saw it. Wintergreen was more than just s friend. He loved slade. And however that may be taken HE LOVED SLADE. And Slade loved him.

There are so many more examples i could bring up. So many more times that showed how much there was between these 2. I wish this was something comic writers understood today. To make 2 characters and their relationship so interesting you have to show its good and bad sides. You need to show how they complete each other. How they help and mold each other. Even right here with unwritten words we see so much emotion. We see all the unwritten words. We see such a strong bond that you dont have to guess about anything. Another thing today is that this is before times were more accepting and i do truely wonder if this were to be written today what they could do with it. What would become of them. Because i think we can all agree slade is at his very best when with wintergreen. A common theme. Without wintergreen Slade just cant exist. Deathstroke can but slade needs his friend thats more than just a friend. He needs someone he loves. He needs his compass. And at this point billy doesnt just represent morals. He represents the very thing about slade. Love. Whether that be family friend whatever. How ever you look at it. Slades very thing is his love. For everyone around him. Its what makes him, him. Its what makes and breaks Slade and Deathstroke.

Anyways 3am rant over. Dont like it move on.

[threebooksoneplot]

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon