#but do we talk abt it? absolutely not
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@kisumshi said: ❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞ dorahan
drinking meme
Hanma doesn’t normally get drunk. He has cheap, watery beers fairly often and harder drinks every now and then. He’s usually only tipsy at worst, his alcohol tolerance as freakish as his stamina and endurance. This is different. His throat still burns from the alcohol but he can’t find it anywhere in him to give a shit about that. Good. Let it burn. It at least feels like something. It’s better than feeling nothing as far as he’s concerned.
Amber eyes narrow at the comment and he scoffs. “ What the fuck is that about all of a sudden? Anything other than shitty beer suddenly unacceptable? You’ve kissed me plenty of times before. “ Maybe it’s the taste of the alcohol. Maybe it’s just Draken’s attempt to be better. ( Except it’s not an attempt, it’s the truth. He is better. ) Or maybe because he’s clearly drunk off his ass but somehow still functioning. He glowers at the other and looks like he might punch him. He doesn’t. He shoves himself off of the wall he’d pinned Draken against and takes a few languid steps back. After a moment, he reaches into his pocket and fumbles for a cigarette.
“ Fine. No kissing. Wanna fuck me then? “ Hanma asks, blunt and to the point while he reaches for his lighter. “ I’ll let you top. You can do whatever you want. “ Sugar to sweeten the offer, lips curved up into a sharp smile. They do it plenty fine sober, so he can’t fathom this mattering. If he says no? Hanma’s sure he can find some pretty thing for tonight and break their heart in the morning. The cigarette dangles between two long fingers, an eyebrow raised in expectation of an answer.
#kisumshi#i have nothing to say#other than he is Not Well#but do we talk abt it? absolutely not#᛭ — [IC] death follows in the wake of the reaper [SHUJI HANMA]
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“Advance takes place before both adventure games!!1!!11” my brother in Christ. If this was supposedly set before sa2 then why would Sonic stay Super in space by himself for DAYS & come back w a solemn expression before smiling at the player to congratulate them for beating the game
#like we never talk abt this as a fandom literally why#this is among one of the more unhinged things he’s done#ik it’s probably that deep but to me it absolutely is#I don’t love the advance games gameplay wise just bcs special stages grrrr but#I like their function in the modern canon bcs it feels like a back to the basics for Sonc n gang#like they’ve just be slapped in the middle of two cataclysmic events the past two mainline console titles let’s give them#a little more chill catastrophe if yk what I mean#sonic the hedgehog#sth#miles prower#tails the fox#amy rose#knuckles the echidna#sonic advance#sa2#do I tag him#I will actually#shadow the hedgehog#the correct order in my head is sonic 4 ➡️ sa1 ➡️ shuffle ➡️ sa2 ➡️ advance 1/2 ➡️ heroes ➡️ advance 3
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Previous // Next
Oscar: What’s going on? Noah: We don’t know yet. Oscar: What? Alton: They’re just running some tests. Oscar: For what?! Alton: Well-.. I don’t know. Oscar: Noah? [Noah shrugged, knowing about as much as Alton did] Oscar: Both of you are fucking useless! Alton: She’s been complaining about her neck for a while, blaming it on her age n’ all-.. but she took a funny turn coming down the stairs so I brought her here. Oscar: A funny turn, what-.. did she pass out? Alton: Not exactly, but they sounded quite concerned. I heard the word surgery being thrown around, so… Noah: Alright, I think everyone’s overreacting a little. Alton: They made it sound so serious… Noah: I needn’t have rushed here if I knew it wasn’t an emergency. Oscar: Who says it isn’t? Noah: Surely they’d have told us by now-.. honestly, I wouldn’t have called if I knew you’d get so worked up. Oscar: What the hell does that mean? Noah: I didn’t think you-.. never mind. Let’s just sit down and wait for some answers. Oscar: You thought I wouldn’t give a shit? She’s still my mom, Noah! Alton: Boys-… Oscar: Nah, he’s not just gonna take that back. What’d you think I’d just go back to whatever I was doing like “who gives a fuck”? Seriously? Noah: I didn’t mean-… Alton: Why don’t you go and wait outside? Oscar: Yeah, maybe I’ll get more out of a fucking bench than you two. Alton: You don’t think before you speak sometimes, do you? Noah: I’ll go and-… Alton: No, leave him be.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#alton finch#noah finch#eeeeeeeeesh.. noah has absolutely zero tact#and i think it just gets worse the older he gets#����#we know they're talking abt sid right?#ofc u do.. just checking 🤺#(。_。)#twhospital
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2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri
#not my best ever gifs i dont think BUT IM SOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!#OSCAR P1!!!!!! OSCAR WIN!!!!!! OSCAR ROOKIE WIN LETS GOOOOO#i still cant believe it this is absolutely insane#i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow#back in bahrain i could never have imagined him winning a race this year!! IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON!!!!#I was shocked when i woke up to see him have gotten pole in the shootout#AND THEN TO WATCH HIM WIN!!!! SOOOOOOO GOOD#Im so proud of him sob sob sob#again: throwbacl to me and dru talking abt the possibility of him podiuming or even winning#and i was like no way i doubt it with this car. nevermind :) ive never been so happy to be incorrect#WHERE IS MARK!??!!?!??!!? WHERE ARE YOU???? YOUR BOY JUST FUCKING WON!!!! WHERE IS THE HUG???? WHERE IS THE CONGRATS???#i swear to god if i check his insta and theres yet another animal vid on his story im going to kill the old man#HE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE GARAGE YESTERDAY FOR QUALI!! WHERE WAS HE TODAY AAAGHHHHHH#oscar piastri#f1#formula 1#formula one#2023 qatar grand prix#2023 qatar gp#we do a little bit of f1
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
#hush catríona#this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent#iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing#i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it#i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me#hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right?#i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!!#and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this???#i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means#i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes#this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile#i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever#reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
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so funny when someone tries 2 compliment a fic by saying it should go viral. u want me in hell is that it. u want me 2 go 2 hell & die badly forever. am i hearing this right
#‘we need a new fic that everyone on tiktok is talking abt’ so u want someone 2 kill themself#am i getting this…am i understanding this correctly…#like mostly it is sillyfunny bc i don’t think a handful of people talking abt something on tiktok is gonna make it happen#but like. do u not know the absolute hell that every single person who’s had a fic go ‘viral’ has gone thru 😭#what happened 2 gatekeeping u guys used 2 love gatekeeping….#txt
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so um anyway jiang cheng canonically does not consider wei wuxian a servant—let alone “just a servant”—and does not treat him like one. idk where this idea came from but it is factually untrue.
in fact, jc repeatedly indicates that he thinks wwx’s station is on par with other gentry, that he likes the idea of being part of a pair with wwx, and even jokes with wwx, mocking the notion that wwx could be a servant.
after wwx was taken in, they were functionally raised as equals, and there is nothing in their interactions as youths that indicates or even hints that their relationship was master/servant instead of simply childhood friends.
and obviously wwx is not sect leader, so yeah, he is expected to defer to jc after the war, (and that’s not an inherently bad thing, that’s how leadership works) but jc lets him get away with SO much shit that Would Not Fly if wwx were a servant (or treated like one). if jc only regarded wwx as a servant, there is literally no reason to be as lenient as jc was with wwx’s loose canon tendencies.
i’m sorry, but there is simply no valid reading of their relationship where the dynamic of their relationship is master/servant. their relationship simply is not built on obligation, as much as they both try to act like it. this assumption undercuts a huge amount of context and motivation, leaving nonsensical character decisions and gaping plot holes. there is no mdzs unless they care about each other as individuals.
#jiang cheng#mdzs#mdzs talk#mo dao zu shi#moi#not to mention the fact that we literally never see wwx ever acting in the capacity of a servant#jc basically never asks anything of wwx#maybe ‘please don’t insult our colleagues (who are also our elders and have more power than us) to their faces’#or like ‘please refrain from picking fights with people we’re trying to establish professional relationships with’#up until wwx defects whenever someone started poking at wwx’s behavior jc just shut them down. ‘that’s the business of the jiang sect.’#and some of y’all have the audacity to claim that jc didn’t do anything for wwx#that he didn’t even care#it’s appalling#i’m super tempted to tag as canon jc#but i will. refrain.#begrudgingly.#i absolutely hate it when ppl insist not only that jc didn’t care abt wwx#but that wwx. didn’t care about jc.#that wwx’s side of things was entirely out of obligation and he did not care about jc as a person in the slightest.#like imma be real w u chief: wwx does not come out of this assumption looking good#in fact he looks like a real grade A asshole#bc if he DOES think he’s just fulfilling his duties then why tf would be flat out lie to jc about their relationship#and if he has a duty to the jiang sect. why the fuck isn’t he doing it. yeah yeah he gave up his core sure.#but it costs zero dollars to NOT antagonize ppl ur sect is trying to built rapport with#it costs zero dollars to consider the political fallout for your sect before you do risky shit#like a wwx that is sticking around out of ‘obligation’ is a real fucking dick#like. either make an attempt at fulfilling your actual obligations or like. just leave??#i mean jfc it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he does in fact care about jc#and jc does in fact care about wwx#um anyway
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No, a new wig would NOT fix me....
But it might???? Maybe????
#I think that is absolutely my anxiety talking 😂#My friends where talking about what we should do when they visit and all I could think abt was how to get myself out there
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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ok but the fact that "aziraphale is softening. they haven't spoken in a hundred years: he's realizing they're still friends" and "there's no need to thank me that's what...friends...are for" was in the same night is making me go INSANE
#we NEED to talk more abt the 1941 ep im so serious im not normal about it like i had such high expectations and it suppressed them all.#am i disappointed there wasn't a rejection scene like i predicted?? yes ofc but also aziraphale said he did the apology dance that year so#i wonder what else could've fucking happened#but anyway. let's focus on what DID happen: aziraphale literally GLOWING with love in the car. crowley telling him to shut up cause of a#compliment. aziraphale helping crowley out and crowley looking at him like 'you'd do that for me?'. crowley not only letting aziraphale#practice magic with him but ACTIVELY playing a character to help him and i mean that scene was literally just crowley flirting with him#crowley indulging aziraphale by going to the magic shop with him and agreeing to participate in his show despite the fact that he NEVER EVEN#SHOT A GUN BEFORE. him just leafing thru the guidebook till he realizes there's a miracle blocker than starting to frantically flip thru it#her hands SHAKING on the gun and them being so afraid of hurting az. 'no paperwork :))' sure my guy that's what u r so happy about ofc#'but do u really think it went well' 'absolutely' with such sincerity. the book description saying smth abt ifa demon were to happen across#aziraphale they should report it immediately to the demon crowley. 'you could've just walked away' 'well you said 'trust me'' 'and you did'#its just. its one of my favorite eps it's so nice#good omens#azicrow#good omens s2#aziracrow#go s2 spoilers#go s2#good omens script book#good omens s2 spoilers#aziraphale x crowley
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2009 Japanese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel
#im so glad theres no one here to witness my reaction to seb wins because my god#i dont think words exist in the english language for the screeching noises i make HAHAHAHAHA#i just love him too much and it is a very late hour so i feel so deranged abt him and its very unwell behavior#i am kissing the tv director was for this podium directly on the mouth because SO MANY GOOD SHOTS !!!!!!!!!#my main gripe(and youll see this often in my tags) is that they never have enough direct shots and also cut away at bad moments#this podium? absolutely fucking beautiful. i want to kiss the camera operators because their focusing and tracking is a thing of beauty#hes so cute this race!!!!!! i have way too much content so shall be 3 posts methinks. hope ya dont mind!!#ive seen a clip of him and tommi chest bumping but i didnt know it was this race so when it suddenly cut to them im like OH!!!!#seb at japan gp....truly magnificent every single season(we dont talk about 2007)#i usually put 'ft. [ther drivers] but clearly both the cameramen and i only had eyes for seb hahaha#i guess this time tommi and rocky are the features!!#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 japanese gp#2009 japanese grand prix#sv5#season: 2009
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gotta get better at talking to people
#or rather. get used to the idea that not being good at talking to people isnt the end of the world#and u still gotta talk to people 😭😭#used to be that my heart was hammering whole time i had to talk to someone#<- this is like. inclusive of needing to ask questions from shop employees -_-#now i just get a bit sweaty and most of the freaking out was working up to talking#small steps......#anyways went to the skate shop and asked abt getting a board as a beginner#id wanted to try like. 7.75“ cos the 8 felt big#he was like. yea that might just be becos ur not used to it yet#cooked..........#actually recommended to go up for beginners#mate. my feet are NOT that big#basically i should practice a bit maybe before getting a new board?? 😭😭#or getting a new board and itd need to be 8 also#idk like we DO have a board at home#but i have absolutely no frame of reference for how good it is????#it was like. generic brand from kmart or something 💀#im still gonna do an ollie and film it btw dont worry. and ill still get a board at some point LMAO#maybe after i do the ollie. as a reward andndhxbfnf
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Ohhh I am trying so hard not to get mad at people online you have to believe me but that post about bloodborne liking women is driving me a little bit crazy not gonna lie. We can all so clearly see and point out misogyny in ds (um. Im hoping at least) so why can't we ever do it in bloodborne? Even though its the same people? What about bloodborne makes you think theyre feminists all of a sudden. Because it talks about women? Okay, but that's not how that works, a work that disregards women is misogynistic, that much everyone knows, but a work that does talk about women but portray them in a weird light can also very much be. Also whenever people say bloodborne is about women or femininity, a huge chunk of the time what they mean is bloodborne is about motherhood and pregnancy. Which is true, but thats... Not what womanhood is thats not what women are about you can't just reduce women as a concept to birth. And motherhood. And being caretakers. Almost every woman in bloodborne has less agency than their men counterparts, most of them are more strongly abused, shown as complacent and weak and only exist to serve. Even maria has no agency and is constantly driven back to the fact she was gman's apprentice and following he and laurence's orders. She has little identity outside of them in written down ingame lore and the one time she did something outside of them, is the one time she became a caretaker (because all women are it seems). The fact the og lady maria npc even exists is even worse on that part. I'm using her as an example because shes the one people most often take as an example of bb being good about women (look theres a strong female character!) but it's obviously much more than just her, just look at arianna and adella for more than one second. The only npcs i can think of that i would consider Actually Good And Normal About Women are eileen and fauxsefka. And i mean actual npcs im not counting bosses that we dont know much about on a personal level (like rom and amelia)
What I'm trying to say is, i think it's awesome when people have feminist interpretations of bloodborne and i think its a good thing to take those female characters for yourself and its a good thing to make the game as transgender and gay as you want it to be, and its perfect soil for that too, i do it all the time and find many many themes in it by myself, but we can't keep lying to ourselves that it was any good at it on its own. It's soulsborne for fuck's sake it has Always been Really Weird about women and minorities just look at ds look at firekeepers and gwyndolin and many other examples. Bloodborne isnt exempt from that just because men are writing about pregnancy as horror.
#i swear i say this every month but like i feel strongly about this#slsborne isnt 'inherently gay' WE made it#and thats a compliment to us and not the writers#the writers did not intend to make it as gay & trans & feminist as we interpreted it#that much is very clear to me#its completely ok and awesome to celebrate bb as like trans culture and whatnot#i do that too im always talking about how its an extremely trans game#but we have to remember its because we saw ourselves in it and made it so not because the writers made it so#miyazaki is absolutely not a feminist icon or whatever#theres always more i have to say about this but i cant ever figure out how to word it#the thing is the way women are in this game are fine if they were isolated cases#but its the fact that they almost all are Like That that makes it bad#cuz believe me i love women with issues and women that r horrible people and women that are doomed to have no agency#i think theyre always the most interesting characters. but thats in cases where its not All Of Them#when its All Of Them that r like that it says something abt the writers more than anything#my worst curse is that i badly love female characters that are forced to be serviceable#im the blood saints fan im the firekeepers fan. but i see and know how absolutely fucking shitty of a trope they are#bc they dont exist in a vaccuum
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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