#but didnt find the inspiration forever
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booksandmore · 6 months ago
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losing my mind deku as a hero and as a charchter defined by his desire to help others and being helped in return… kindness can be repaid… never hesitating to help even if its a villain, always saving other people even at risk to himself… but also, that kindness comes back to him - kota and eri and his classmates refusing to let him suffer by himself. forever reaching out and offering a helping hand… ONE for ALL a power that was meant to be shared, in contrast to ALL for ONE a power that was meant to put one person above the rest… something something deku never stood alone because he never let anyone else stand alone do you understand
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volfoss · 4 months ago
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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koipalm · 1 year ago
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call me dramatic but im actually starting to get like. kind of sick to my stomach seeing ai art on pinterest
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selfdiagnosedeyemotif · 11 months ago
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ive recently been contemplating just how much of an impact amphibia has had on me as a writer because like... wow. it really did. like, you can trace stuff like preference for writing small dialogue scenes to episodes like Wally and Anne, and both Reunion and True Colours have become my roadmap for writing combat and tension. AND its also the originator of the themes of change that have been popping up all over my writing as of late. like, think about it. project OCtopath has been laden with stories about change thus far (aestia's character arc-forward story, tyrri's crusade of progress, and praem's denial of fate), and believe you me when i say that isn't gonna change any time soon. or ever. AND THEN, forget-me-not (so sorry about not doing anything with that as of late, i prommy that the prologue is in the works) is ALSO shaping up to be about the impact of the protags on each other AND mirror's amphibia's finale with its own (nothing is forever. teehee). like WOW. thank you so much, frog show. you've permanently shifted the way my brain works
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sweetlady555 · 4 months ago
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My Personal Solar Return Observations Pt III
reminder to check your degrees in your sr chart as they play a big factor in how certain sr placements would play out!
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Venus 5H 17° SR - when i had this in my sr chart for 2023-2024 i saw myself experimenting more with different creative styles/looks. i would try to find inspiration from different creatives on instagram. while i was doing this, i started talking to a well known designer in that creative scene who had messaged me because he liked my style. it was a secret relationship because he cheated on someone to be with me which i thought they were completely done but he kept going back to her then back to me. he was obsessed with me and it was a really weird relationship, he would only come to me when his lustful desires were acting up and then would go when he was satisfied 💀. i was tired of this so i started talking to someone else and he found and his little ego got so hurt and he blocked me thank fucking god 😭😭!! I was also approached by another creative because he wanted to use my face as inspiration for his clothing brand hehe ( the 17° rules leo & fame )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Aries Rising 2° SR - when i had this i felt like i was really impulsive i did lots of things without thinking twice. i had my chart ruler in the 5h that year so it might be different if you end up having your asc ruler somewhere else in your sr chart, but for me i was impulsive when it came to switching different styles. i also started drinking and partying for the first time when i had a aries rising in my sr when it was placed in my 5h. aside from this, i was very determined on finishing goals i set my mind to and i was very consistent in trying to build a good foundation for myself. ( the 2° rules taurus & early stages )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Moon 7H 4° SR - most of my relationships that i had that year were lowkey codependent, the guys i talked to that year were very emotionally dependent and attached to me. they would usually call or message me out of nowhere to vent or open up to me which would be random asf lmaoo ( the 4° rules cancer & security/protection )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Mercury 3H 28° SR - I started talking to my siblings more and my relationship grew closer with them. I also started becoming more vunerable with my siblings. My relationship with my siblings were more nurturing compared to the past. ( the 28° rules cancer & heightened sensitivity/vulnerability )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Mars 5H 21° SR - I went out a lot more when i had this in my sr chart with my sisters friends who would randomly go out just for the fun of it 😭, like it was last minute most of the times but it was so fun tho! i got to do lots of things on the trips we went to! I was also more open to expressing my creativity like making clothes and putting it out there and such. ( the 21° rules saggitarius & travel/freedom )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Jupiter 1H 8° SR - I was more optimistic about life when I had this placement in my sr chart. I also felt like I was really lucky when it came to travelling more. places ive wanted to go to forever i ended up going to! things i wanted to experience i experienced! it was a good year for experiencing new things. ( the 8° rules scorpio & transformations )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Uranus 2H 21° SR - yeah i dont know where my money went that year 💀 money would come fast and then it would go even faster 😭 i saw my money as a source of freedom and thought of money so recklessly like, “oh these shoes are $300 but i just got fired? dont worry the money will come back *BOUGHT🧾*” so i didnt care much about saving or anything 😭 it came back though!! but then it went bye bye the next day😍 also for some weird reason whenever i took money out from daily pay which is a app where you can take money out early from your check when you work, whenever i took it out it ended up saying i had to pay back the amount i took out? like uhhh im pretty sure this was my money i took out 😂🤔… so now im -$200 but they gotta catch me in person cuz im not paying that 😹 ( the 21° degree rules saggitarius and freedom )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Pluto 11H 29° SR - i ended two 5+ year friendship that year, it was hard but it was a trio and i found out that the both of them would ditch me to go hangout and do substances and i feel like that didnt align with my path because you are who you hangout with!! i also saw my goals/path changing that year, I completely re-evaluated what i wanted to do 🙏. ( the 29° is a anaretic degree that rules major transformations/completion/endings )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Chiron 1H 19° SR - I was VERY critical on how others percieved me and my self image, i had multiple identity crises. I was super insecure the year I had this in my sr chart i cant even lie, despite so many people telling me how beautiful I was I just couldnt see it. 2 months before my birthday in 2024 i ended up understanding who i was and finding out what I LIKE and not what other people expected of me. im not facing multiple identity crises anymore which i thank my nn in my 1h from that year 🙏. ( 19° rules libra & can make a person more erratic and critical )
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 1H SR in 5H SR - I was more open to showcasing my creative talents, designing clothes, starting lots of creative projects. I was also having sooo much fun that year i miss it so much but lemme stop reminiscing 💔 I was also more flirty and playful that year leading me to have a few romantic encounters this year. Lots of creativity, fun, and sexual encounters happened that year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 2H SR in 5H SR - I spent most of my money on clothes and on creative projects just things that made me happy!!!! I was also recieving money from a lot of guys who wanted sexual things from me but they got #finessed and i didnt care because who do you think i am???????
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 3H SR in 3H SR - when i had this i started getting into astrology more, i was also reading a lot more aswell. I was really curious and i needed lots of mental stimulation from something that was neverending and astrology just so happened to be it 😹. I was also making tons of short trips that year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 4H SR in 7H SR - my family life was lowkey stopping me from getting into any relationships, i came to the realization i wouldnt be able to get into any relationships while living with my parents because of how controlling they can be. Also my sister got into a new relationship that sr year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 5H SR in 7H SR - I started talking to a creative designer the year I had my 5h in my 7h. I was also getting involved with creative partnerships aswell, promoting eye contacts/lashes/having my face used for someones brand. I also attended more parties and was going out more so i found most of my relationship encounters were through that.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 6H SR in 4H SR - i changed my diet when i had this in my sr. I also didnt know how to balance my work life and home life so it clashed terribly and i got fired😭. I was also going out more with my sister so my routines have changed from never going out at all to going out every week.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 7H SR in 5H SR - I met lots of new friends and different social circles through fun plans like partying, girls trips etc.. I also had lots of fun romantic encounters when i had this in my sr whether i met them when i was drunk or at parties it was lots of fun lol. There was so much childlike joy when it came to my relationships that sr year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 8H SR in 5H SR - i lost my virginity the year i had this in my sr😶 but besides that my relationships in that sr year really shaped my understanding of love and myself. i was also recieving money from relationships i felt like a sugar baby🙈
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 9H SR in 1H SR - BABY I WAS OUTSIDEEE😭😩 okay besides that, that sr year when i had this i experienced a lot of new things that helped me discover who i was on the inside 😊. I was focused on self growth especially that year!
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 10H SR in 12H SR - I thought a lot about what I wanted to do career wise and how it would align with my goals and my purpose . I had this in my sr when I got fired 😭 and i realized I would prefer being my own boss when it came to my work life
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 11H SR in 12H SR - I unfriended my closest friends after re-evaluating our friendships that year. I also found out shady shit about them and I didn’t like that which led me to unfriending them
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 12H SR in 2H SR - i was manifesting money a lot the year i had this and im not even gonna lie it was coming!! so if you have this in your sr this year, manifest that moola$$$!!!!! i was also receiving money behind the scenes from other people the year i had this in my sr chart .
if my sr chart for that solar return year was a song it would be definitely be this song 🥲 #willforevercherishthatyear
dont forget to check out my other personal sr observations if you enjoyed this one :) !
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thyln4gf · 6 months ago
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Cheri cheri lady
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✞ Watching you on the top step of the podium for the first time, while still in your rookie year... It all tasted a little bitter for Lando, but he wasnt complaining too much... he did get the best view out of them all - right from p2.
✞ Word count - 808
✞ I have synesthesia! Heres 5 songs that I associate with this fic - "american jesus" - Nessa Barrett, "heavy metal lover" - Lady Gaga, "flawless" - The Neighbourhood, "take me back to eden" - Sleep Token, "hall of fame" - The Script. Note - i do have a whole playlist. Ask if you want it.
✞ Warnings - none, I guess. A lot of fluffy shite. Slightly suggestive. A short little blurb inspired by Landos first win<3 Gg, my boy.
✞ Lando Norris x Mercedes!Reader
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The sound of a crowd yelling someone elses name annoyed him till no end - it reminded him of the fact that he hasnt won yet, and that hes currently holding a pretty sad record - the highest number of podiums without a win. That, until it came to you - it immediately became something that he wanted to hear over and over. It was almost as sweet as the champagne swirling down his body, the sun kissing his face, or the sweet, sweet sound of an anthem that wasnt the dutch one.
It all started at the beginning of the season, really. He was intimidated by you at first, just a little - for the first quali of the season, your rookie season, you had already grabbed the pole. But, quickly enough, he found himself getting more and more curious about you. He would ask you about the weather, or about the ridiculous activities the media admins made you do - to "see if it matched his". It was far from enough for him though - he wanted to know everything about you. How do you like your waffles? He wanted to ask you about that. He wanted to ask you about breakfast and honey. Sunlight. Do you like strawberry smoothies? What was the name of your childhood cat? Do you have any scars?
There were so many things he wanted to say, but didnt know how to. Thats why he spent quite a bit of his time quietly observing you. He felt as if you were just a mere result of his imagination - one touch, just one taste - and youd disappear.
His newly found obsession, however, was watching the wide grin fighting for its place on your face. You were stood on that step, taking up the space that you deserved oh so much. He was a little jealous of the success that you found yourself in so soon, but he couldnt peel his eyes away from you - the way you were stood there, proud. The golden hour danced on your face, making the sweat drenched features pop out. Just like him, the sun seemed to enjoy your eyes - they looked like the shiniest gems you could find.
The champagne celebration rolled around. He was already giggling, looking forward to absolutely drowning you in the sticky, sweet, liquid luck. He looked at Daniel on the other side, the English anthem for Mercedes coming to an end. They both wiggled their eyebrows at each other, seemingly getting the exact same idea, and locking it in.
They could have planned all they wanted, honestly - but you were just quicker. You jumped off the step quickly, it almost looked like you were flying. To Landos surprise, you didnt go for your usual move. Instead, you seemed to use his - the famous champagne floor smash. He was so pleasantly surprised that he didnt even register a stream of the beverage aimed right into the centre of his face. Wiping the champagne from his eyes, he saw your wide grin - and Daniel getting the back of your head. You shrieked - and it wasnt from the surprise, he knew. You washed your hair just this morning.
As much as he would have wanted that scene to last forever... Like all good things, it quickly came to an end. But that meant that he got to stand by your side for the photo - and it made him nervous, almost like a young, teenage boy, whos crush went to the same school.
He was nervous. Oh, so nervous. He was a little scared of messing something up, taking great measures to avoid exactly that. He did end up on the wrong side of the step, somehow. He didnt even notice, but thats until he felt your hands on his waist, gently gripping onto the material of his suit.
"Youre in the wrong spot, darling." You had murmured into his ear, gently guiding him to where you wanted him. A smirk was so evident in your tone, even if he wasnt looking at your face.
The hands.
The. Gentle. Fucking. Hands.
His stomach quickly got filled with a ton of butterflies, his brain shortcircuiting. He would have frozen in the spot, if the circumstances had allowed him. And he did, at first - was given a slap to the back of his head by Daniel quickly enough to not be noticed, though. Or, thats what he thought - people were talking about it already, and it would continue for days. If not weeks. And not even the fact that you just casually moved him, just like that. Not the placement of your hands - but the fact that he could be seen blushing, all shy, like a little girl.
Despite it not being his victory, it was his favourite podium of all time already. But, who knew. Maybe the next one was gonna be his?
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landososcar · 6 months ago
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so high school ; JB5
pairing(s) ; jude bellingham x singer!reader , jude bellingham x student!reader
summary ; twitters favourite new(ish) artist drops her new album right during her school year.
warnings ; nothinggggg & mainly just fluff bc i love happy people
note ; SORRY ITS SHORT AHHAHA, i’ll post a new lando fic soon i just have no inspiration… ignore any dates that are wrong or don’t match - im lazy. also this is VERYYYY LOOSLY based off so high school lol (it’s mainly the aristotle line)
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youruser surprise !!!!! as an end of term present (for myself🤭🥳) and in honour of knowing the loml for 15 years, here’s 15 new songs for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy 😊 noah, thank you for trusting me and letting me join you on what might be one of my favourite songs ever!! i loveeee youuuu. && to my jude<3 thank you for inspiring me every single day of our lives. i love you bigger than the whole sky 🩵🩵 (guys he’s actually v v talented and he helped me write scared of my guitar, hard to sleep, and feels like) j, you are my safe place and these songs — especially the ones i haven’t let you hear yet — are for you.
ps guys idk how to only write happy songs but jude is the only one who makes me feel safe enough to express my emotions through my songs 😁 i looooovvveee him and am NOT 🙅‍♀️ breaking up with him. he is stuck with me forever💞
‘the alchemy’ is YOURS tonight at midnight 💓
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user1 WHAT
user2 YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON US WTF
oliviarodrigo my girl💞💞 i’m so so soooo excited😭
user3 GIRL I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST CALL THE ALBUM ‘the alchemy’ FOR NO REASON. WHERE TF IS THE TITLE TRACK I KNOW YOUVE GOT HER SOMEWHERE
youruser jude and i love the alchemy the most out of all the songs and wanna keep her just ours for a little bit longer but maybe if you guys enjoy these songs i’ll let you have my baby
user4 YNAJDKJSKDKDIS
user5 WHATTTT songs did she not let jude hear omfg i need to know
youruser he’s heard them all except for daylight, paper rings & so high school lollll
judebellingham refreshing my spotify every minute til midnight you guys don’t understand she’s kept these songs in a VAULT
user6 jude i know you love spotify but apple music get new music 10 minutes early xxx
judebellingham just made an apple music account
user7 TEN MINS TIL THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR DROPS
taylorswift so so proud of you beautiful 🩷🩷
judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
judebellingham putting ALLLL of these on the pre-game playlist
youruser babe idk if some of these will pump you up before a game
judebellingham hearing your voice will pump me up idc how sad the song is xx
user8 why’s no one talking about how she’s in UNIVERSITY and dropped a FIFTEEN song album like …??? she’s INSANE. WHERE did she find the TIMEEE
user9 not to mention she lives with him in madrid and does school online coz her uni is in the uk
user10 she’s insane i don’t understand how😭😭
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youruser just posted to their close friends story.
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youruser surprised my fav person in the uk for his england game and he scored for me 😆🩵🩵
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user1 she wrote “you know how to ball” and he said “yeah” then scored a goal and did a celebration for her😭
user2 zoom in on pic 6 and you’ll see me laying on the road waiting to be run over
judbellingham ‘unemployed girlfriend’ but you’re the greatest singer on earth while also doing online uni full time and you still make time to be able to come see me
youruser it’s coz i love you so so bad
jobebellingham you make me sick
youruser i love u too jobeyyyyyy
england our favourite visitor💙💙
user3 how does she do all this whilst going to uni😭😭😭
oliviarodrigo 💖💖💖
judebellingham I LOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU
user4 i NEED the top in pic 8 where is it from
youruser i found it on depop and HAD to buy it😭😭 i think someone made it x
chappellroan HOTTTTT (you not ur bf)
youruser I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY WIFE💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
user5 i don’t understand how you write sad songs like the ones on your album if ur ‘in love with jude’
user6 jude deserves better than someone who’s so caught up on and still writes songs about her exes
user7 WHYS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS SHE POSTED ON TWITTER IM GOJNG INSANE
user8 LITERALLY?/!;!!/;@:8@ LIKE ??????? “WHERES THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME” IS SO JUDE CODED WHEN Y/N IS AT LITERALLY ANY OF HIS GAMES
user7 EXACTLYYYYY HE ALWAYSSS RUNS TO HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER HES ALLOWED TO DO HIS OWN THING. ITS FUCKING ADORABLE
user8 IM SO GLAD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME
user7 were both insane let’s get married
user8 dm me right now wife
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youruser lol little life update coz i’ve been m.i.a. for the last almost two months. 1: i went blonde again. 2: my man still as fine as ever. 3: got engaged or whatever lol. 4: slaying up exams. 5: i miss tour so i decided imma come back and see you all soon 🤭🤭 tour dates soon <3
ps in honour of becoming fiance or whatever🤗 the alchemy and 4 other songs are yours on the deluxe version of ‘the alchemy’ ,, out tonight !!!
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user1 WHAT THE FUCK
user2 GIRL LET US BREATHE
harrykane juudddeeeeee!!! congrats🥳❤️
declanrice mr bellingham that is a ROCK
user3 SHE DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN CAME BACK AND DROPPED ALL OF RHAT ON HS
gracieabrams OMG WIFE IS GONNA BE A WIFE
user4 BLONDE YN IS BACK AND SHES A FIANCÉ OH MY GOD
judebellingham WIFE WIFE WIFE‼️‼️‼️
youruser not yet my love but so close🥰
judebellingham I CANT HEAR YOU MY WIFE IS AN ACADEMIC AND LYRICAL GENIUS
user5 she’s still writing break up and sad songs whilst engaged… so weird
user6 yeah and jude helps her,, he must be so disgusted right? seriously get a life and go touch grass
taylorswift so so happy for you 💓💓
youruser 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i love you
user7 TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR
england juddeeeeee💙 sooo happy for you two
trentarnold ❤️❤️❤️
user8 how girl just gonna casually drop a ENGAGEMENT announcement in the middle of a photo dump
user9 REALLLL LIKE THATS A BIG ASS RING TOO
noahkahanmusic YESSSSS🤍🤍🤍🤍
user10 HOWWWW is miss girl gonna find time in her schedule to do uni, make music, keep a healthy relationship, AND TOUR
judebellingham mrs*
my other works !
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piastrisslut · 1 year ago
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opposites attract - op81
oscar piastri x fem!reader
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warnings: 18+ lol minors dni, shit awful writing, smut, reader's kinda alternative and has tattoos all over them, pnv, unprotected sex, cussing, im sorry in advance for this i didnt rly proofread it
not requested, but do send me requests :)
notes: this was so so inspired by an oscar smut i read by @/pitlanepages, you can find it and read it here, awesome work 10/10 would read over and over!! also i'll probably cringe at this when i reread it and proceed to delete it but lets see
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you’ve dated oscar for quite a while by now, yet you took things slow, never having done the deed. he was extremely loving and caring, always being your number-one supporter for even the most minuscule of your achievements. 
and so once you went public about your relationship, fans went insane on how oscar managed to bag you, you being the complete opposite of the average formula one driver’s girlfriend, littered with tattoos and having quite a few piercings. you had a rockstar vibe to you, and that’s what you were. you had a band of your own and released music every so often, and at a glance, it often seemed like you and oscar were opposites. 
you tagged along with oscar at a pr event he had today, wearing a silky long black dress. he helped you put it on, and his eyes and hands lingered on your body for a little longer than you were used to. you didn’t miss how his eyes darkened the tiniest bit when they roamed your body, and his hand never left your waist the entire event. 
as you left the aforementioned pr event, his hand remained on your lower thigh on the ride back home, and you didn’t hesitate to pull his hand up your thigh a bit more, a sly smile finding itself on your face. 
by the time he unlocked the door to his apartment, he couldn’t help but put his lips on yours, finally able to show you what you did to him by simply wearing that dress. the kiss wasn’t soft, but it was certainly passionate. he slid his hand down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. you melted into the kiss, biting his lip ever so slightly as he groaned quietly. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his, only thing heard between you both was heavy breathing. 
“you looked so good tonight, sweetheart. i’ve been waiting for this all night,” he said, his voice the tiniest bit deeper than usual. you smiled, biting your lip as you put your lips on his again, this time the kiss was more fiery, more passionate. it was unlike any other kiss either of you had shared, your hands tangling themselves in his soft brown hair you had convinced him to grow out. 
his lips trailed down to your neck, kissing it and sucking the tiniest bit as you tilted your head backwards, giving him more space to mark you as his. he kissed a small tattoo you had behind your ear, as you let out a small giggle at the ticklish feeling. he went back to kissing and biting your neck, before he played with the strap of your dress, silently pleading with his eyes. 
“are you okay with this?” he softly asked, his eyes slightly glimmering under the artificial lighting above him.
“fuck yes, oscar. i’ve been waiting for this forever.” you smiled, kissing him once more before dragging him to the room both of you shared.
you littered his neck with kisses as well, leaving a faint mark on his collarbone. you unbuttoned his shirt and trailed your hands down his body ever so lightly, his breath hitching at the feeling. you helped him take his trousers off too, which you could clearly see a bulge poking out of. once those were off, you slowly got on your knees and palmed him through his boxers. you peeled them off of him teasingly, while he let out a sigh at the feeling of the cold air hitting him and watched it slightly smack his lower abdomen. you couldn’t help but let out a giggle at how aroused he was.
“this is a bit unfair, don’t you think?” he asked as you got on your knees. 
“not yet oscar, just you wait, pretty boy,” you said.
“ah fuck,” he groaned at the nickname you had given him.
you pumped his shaft up and down to get him completely hard, looking up at him smugly.
“all this is ‘cause of me? you’re so cute, oscar,” you said, before you took him into your mouth. he wasn’t small, but you took just the tip into your mouth as you swirled your tongue around him, pumping the rest of him with your hands. he groaned and threw his head back, before looking down at you. the look in your eyes drove him mad, he couldn’t control himself as he tangled his hands in your hair, guiding you. 
his groans only got louder as you took his whole length in, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat, his hands slightly pushing you forward, tears prickling your eyes and threatening to ruin your makeup. just as you could tell he was about to release, you pulled away, an innocent smile on your face. he let out a small whine. 
“why would you do that, you fucking tease? part of me wanted to see your makeup all ruined,” he whined as you got up, the statement quickly turning into him teasing you in return.
“just want you to cum inside me, oscar. is that too much to ask for?” you said, as he let out a sigh in response, softly grabbing the bottom of your chin and running his thumb across your lips.
he couldn’t help but smash your lips onto his once again, this time his confidence overtook him as his hands found the zipper to your dress, unzipping it a bit. you pulled away, turning around so he’d fully take it off. as he unzipped the dress, his hands trailing down your back and the tattoo you had on your back. his touch sent shivers down your spine as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“fuck, you don’t know what your tattoos do to me sometimes,” he mumbled.
“yeah? you’re gonna discover every single one of them today, baby,” you said in a silky tone. your dress fell off your shoulders as you turned back around, his eyes roaming down to your chest as he muttered a curse word under his breath.
“you’re so fucking gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous,” he said, trailing his hands down from your collarbone to your chest. his hands landed on your pierced nipple. he couldn’t help but twirl his fingers around it, as you let out a sigh. 
he traced the tattoo you had on your sternum, looking up at you as you watched him intently. his fingers eventually slipped down to your hips, tracing the tattoo you had on your hips as well, hooking his fingers onto the waistband of your thong and letting it snap against your soft skin.
“you knew this was going to happen didn’t you?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at you. you let out a small giggle and bit your lip.
“maybe, now hurry up and take it off before i do it myself,” you responded.
“fine, then.” he dragged your underwear down and you jumped out of it. he smashed his lips against yours for what seemed like the tenth time today, as he turned you around and laid you down on your shared bed, crawling on top of you and then pulling away.
he kissed down your torso, kissing and biting every tattoo that marked your body and kissed your clit. you let out a whimper as he saw how you glistened underneath him. 
“fuck, every part of you is gorgeous. all for me too, hm?” he grinned. he then rubbed his tip up and down your folds, coating himself in your slick as you desperately waited for him to enter you.
he slowly pushed himself in as you let out a loud moan, feeling oscar stretch you out. he hissed at how tight you were around him, as he eventually entered you completely. 
“shit, oscar.” you gasped, feeling like he was splitting you in half. 
“you alright? let me know when i can move,” he reassured, his hand on your jaw stroking your face with his thumb. 
“move, please, oscar.” you whimpered a bit later, clenching around his length.
“as you wish,” a slight grin could be seen on his features as he began slowly thrusting. he let out small grunts, biting his lip in an attempt to silence them.
“n-no, i wanna hear you.” you breathlessly said, looking up at him. the look in your eyes drove him insane, he couldn’t say no to you with the helpless look you had given him.
“holy shit, you have no idea what you do to me.” he breathlessly let out, thrusting into you harder, eventually reaching the spot where you needed him most. your eyes rolled to the back of your head for a moment as you let out desperate moans. he grabbed both of your wrists, pinning them above your head with one of his hands. 
“fuck yes oscar, just like that, just like that.” he took your words as encouragement his thrusts got deeper as you neared your climax, clenching around him as you struggled to maintain your composure. the sounds of skin slapping, moans, and low grunts were all that could be heard from the room both of you were in. 
“you wanna cum, sweetheart?” he teased, a smug smile on his face. you could barely respond at this point, lost in the pleasure you felt. his free hand went to apply pressure on your clit, momentarily breaking his eye contact with you before looking at your fucked out expression. 
“fuck, fuck, fuck, yes oscar. please, i need it.” you let out through broken moans and flushed cheeks. his thrusts became sloppier as you felt him twitch inside you, and as the little sounds he made grew in volume and pitch.
“can i— come inside you?” he barely managed to get out, both of your climaxes nearing. 
“yes, fuck please,” you moaned out, as you came to your climax, and a glance of your breasts moving below him, along with how you clenched around him brought him to his with one last thrust as he let out your name in a broken whisper.
he slowly pulled out of you, his seed dripping out of your cunt as shivers ran through your whole body. he fingered it back inside with a smile on his face as you struggled to catch your breath, bringing two of his digits into your mouth. you took his fingers in and sucked, barely focused. 
“how do we taste, hm?” he said, that stupid grin still on his face. 
“good, great, fuck. that was… wow,” you said, regaining your breath.
“yeah, i know.” the grin turned into a cocky smile as he laid down next to you, pulling you into his chest as you drifted off to sleep.
_____
oh how i hate this lol
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plutonianeris · 2 years ago
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‧₊˚ pick a pile‧₊˚✩embracing your alter ego⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓
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this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤
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PILE ONE 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: aries, leadership, willpower, ANGER, turning points, epiphanies, destiny, fate, pallas, creativity, wisdom, venus, pleasure, love, art, money, 4th house, foundations, traditions, home, family, roots. 🔐 **note: i got a lot of libra/aries energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in aries and libra. or if you have any aries/ libra placements do some more research on them 👀
your alter ego is someone that refuses to go down a dead end. if they get the slightest hint that someone isnt respecting their boundaries or treating them/ providing them with less than what they deserve they LEAVE. in order to embrace your alter ego you have to accept that you are in a state of metamorphosis 🦋 and push through to that next stage. rip that bandaid off and stop sitting there “crying over spilled milk” & your alter ego isnt having none of that. theyre the type to not let anyone seem them cry or sad (espeically the people that hurt them) and theyll if anything, dress up and fix their hair and strut like nothing happened. “I will always win in the end”
the person you are now isnt the same as who you were a couple months or even a year ago. you could have been a BIG people pleaser or scared of disappointing the people you love. the difference is now you are more sure of what you want and now your boundaries have become less shaky.
once you realize how fucking good it feels to love yourself your alter ego will bloom and you will take more risks and do all those things u were to afraid to do before. your alter ego reminds me of beyonces “sasha fierce” alter ego lol bc you will snap into it soon and it will help u get over that “stage fright”
i just heard“if you needed more time why didnt you make it?” your alter ego is someone who is bold, a risk taker, the first person to ask that question (and then break that rule), to wear the strange outfit. the first one to lean in for the kiss. your alter ego is an innovator, creative to no end (don’t worry if you aren’t inspired right now, you are the inspiration thats why you cant find it). its you. you are the muse, the canvas and the artist. your alter ego has harmonious relationships because they are very attractive, balanced, fair, fiery.
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
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PILE TWO 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: compassion, dreams, confrontotation, disharmony, pleasure, love, trauma, wounds, health, routine, pets. note: i got a lot of pisces, scorpio/ pluto/ 10th house, and virgo energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
in order to embrace your alter ego you need to stop victimizing yourself, similar to pile one there is need to use past trauams as an excuse for staying the same in unhelful behaviors and self sabotaging habbits. you’re letting life happen to you and shrugging your shoulders saying “it what it is” or “I cant change the past” get UP! when you walk, walk with your head held up high. I heard “don’t let people step on you not even once or they’ll keep their foot there pressing against your neck, suffocating..” don’t be afraid to show teeth, whether its a smile or a snarl.
people have wronged you deeply, maybe in irreperable ways. thats okay if youre not the same person. i promise they didnt take anything from you. you are whole and complete on your own. what people are DEEPLY scared of is you realizing your power. I heard “what? did you think I was going to stay small and insecure forever?” people in your close relationships want you to be down bad when they are (misery loves company). in order to embrace your alter ego you need to take the wheel and take control.
your alter ego embodies boss ass energy. your alter ego is mysterious, intuitive, passionate, magnetic energy. the ultimate femme fatale. your alter ego doesn’t let any sly or snarky comment slide, doesn’t allow fake ass people in their circle (theres a vetting process to getting close to them), is deeply loyal and ambitious. your alter ego enters peoples lives and leaves them in awe and jealous and in love and also turned on lol. This is POWERFUL (and slighlty dangerous) energy but if you know how to balance well your alter ego can easily climb the ranks in whatever endeavor its interested in. your alter ego loves to be in control. they’re the ones who dress in all black or sexy clothing. they love to work out as well. they secretly love the pain and soreness later. 🔥
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
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PILE THREE 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: conflict, tension, your calling, discomfort, challenge, destiny, appearance, physical body, character, first house, ninth house, long distance travel, morals, teachers, beliefs. note: i got a lot of pisces, sagittarius/ jupiter, gemini/ mercury energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
in order to embrace your alter ego you need to really work on your forms of communication (this pile gives off blocked throat chakra energy or some kind of harsh influence in your surrounding area that makes you feel like you to watch how you speak to the point where you dont speak up at all). you could have saturn in third house, squares/ oppositions to your mercury, or Capricorn or aquarius in your third house. the point is though, it has felt like when youre in groups theres so much conflict that youve spent so much time alone, that you believe you have to stay alone forever now.
youll find the people that will become like family to you but they will be of other backgrounds, religions, status, ethnicities or even in different states (possiblly entirely different countries). it makes sense considering your alter ego is philosophical, adventurous, flirty, fiesty, and very very very beautiful with a big smile and nice hips. a sight to behold to the eyes of the public. i heard “they talk shit about me to make themselves feel better” your alter ego is a heart breaker, people fall fast for there intoxicating personality and their big dreams. but in the blink of an eye theyre off to the next person or dream or adventure. i heard “ill mourn my losses on the way but im not gonna stop”
hey if you been thinking about booking that flight then maybe do it. or if you’re thinking about or make that vision board or buying those books on that occult topic you’ve bern interested in. your alter ego is determined, they wanna see the world and drink up all its beauty, delicacies, sights, rainbows, books, temples, slow and then fast kisses in the middle of sweaty and neon night clubs. they wanna feel it all. i just heard “im going to free my mind. just wanna remember all the good things” 💗
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
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PILE FOUR 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: responsibilities, routines, self-worth, savings, sticking to your budget, investing, new moon energy (making wishes), shadow side, marriage, secret enemies, love, health, false notions of purity. note: i got a lot of pisces, libra/venus/ 7th house, virgo/ 6th house energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
pile four, I see you giving and giving and giving to others. whether it’s letting people borrow money or listening to them endlessly vent or being there for people that necessarily aren’t always there for you. I see you putting other people first and not necessarily the people please in the way pile one does. Because pile one does it but secretly doesn’t wanna do it. But you do it and think you have to do it and feel like it’s your responsibility to make sure that other people are okay. i just heard “im your hero, you see me as your angel” is there someone deeply depending on you right now? im sorry but they’re not your child. nurture yourself and your inner world. give yourself more credit now..
oopp, the song i was playing just said “i could use a vacation but i gotta take care of my family,… im so damn tired from working overtime” PLEASE😭 this pile is so sweet/ wholesoom🥺🥺🥺🥺 its really calling on you to be selfish. and unapologetically so. you don’t have to share everything. your feelings, your hobbies, your resources or time or money. your alter ego slams the door shut IN THE FACE OF ENERGY VAMPIRES.
your alter ego reminds me of a mermaid or something. just very MYSTICAL and elegant energy. your alter ego is well loved and seen as very wise but they stand tall like a queen/ king. people want to worship your alter ego. i heard “you have beautiful eyes” a lot of people cherish their advice and could do well in doing spiritual readings as well. your alter ego is kind but not nice. they see right through superficial bullshit. They dont care if they have to force you to behave, you will not take from them without asking. I just heard “I respect your opinion, but please don’t force it on me. accept we see things differently.”
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
© plutonianeris 🕷
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lokorum · 2 months ago
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Your art so surreal, did you take inspiration from African masks it’s amazing. You have probably gotten this question before but what’s your process and how do plan these beautiful pieces out. I am a beginner artist and would like some advice on how start doing digital painting.
thank you for bringing me back from the dead with your kindness, (i was so sad today ughhhh i think watching vampire diaries starting to affect me hjkhjk), i really, really deeply thankful that you spend your time to write something so sweet (also sorry it took me literally ages to reply phphp THE USUAL)
yeah, in buryatia shamanism like the big thing, so when i went to search what's out there in the masks department - google's mess of the results for once was helpful and showed this massive collection of beautiful african masks. the one that was inspo for tiisha lived in my head rent free for weeks before the character was even born phphph now i cant even imagine her without it 
(here is little tiisha for you before i'll proceed to be not helpfull phphphph)
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oof advices are not my strong side , like..........my process mostly is just sleep through the whole thing i guess..........................i very rarely do sketches, i hate study anatomy and perspective, drawing cubes makes me physically sick etc etc my approach to drawing were "fuck around and find out", always about chill and fun and barely ever about learning. imho thats why im so shitty at drawing simple things but not bad at coloring. so yeah, my biggest advice always and forever will be - be gentle to yourself, please
digital or traditional or whatever else is out there, dont forget you make it for yourself and for yourself only okay? it supposed to be fun, not sad tiring and competitive 
advices for digital specifically tho - very objective, apply with caution
learn all the keyboard shortcuts, ideally to press them without thinking 
explore more instruments than just brush. it will be tedious and sometimes feel like a chore so mb pick one victim once a month and browse youtube for a stuff like SECRET ULTIMATE TIPS ABOUT MAGIC WAND TOOL THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (they indeed will save your life) 
check if your drawing program has artboards - turning it on will give you more freedom over canvas positioning  and your refs will always be there and not in the separate window 
idk about others but using auto tone, auto contrast and auto color often gives me well needed perspective on what im doing 
in 99% cases be sure that you can reanimate even the most messiest artpiece you ever did. working in digital gives you the chance to mess with shapes, colors and perspective at any time so if you dont want to gave up on something - you absolutely didnt have to
from time to time while you are still learning - go out there in the wilds and search for the new brushes. tweak with them if you want. i have like ~500 and i use 6 max, but those 6 i found by at some point trying to draw with all of the 500
MADE. BACK UPS. and i mean not like save layers just in case before merging them (tho that's too will help) no, i mean click SAVE AS once an hour and create A NEW FILE. PLEASE. i lost so much stuff to sudden power outage. its never pretty and you loosing will to work for days
watch at least one tutorial about the whole rgb srgb and cmyk thing - i did, understood not a thing, but at least im not playing dora the explorer with my colors after the export now 
uh idk think thats it? tried to think about those that id hope i knew when i started so hopefully something will help 
have fun with your drawings!! 
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ofc-vi-writes-too · 4 months ago
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Batfam members and what they’d get cancelled for/their apology
Just watched ItalianBach’s youtuber apology tier list video and inspiration STRUCK.
𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹𖦹
Bruce: there are SOOOOOO many things. So so so many things. He has been cancelled so many times that there is a blog dedicated to keeping track of BW apologies. the user is probs something like bruceissosorryagain. Personal favorite was when he ruined a pretty popular and well liked socialite by knocking over a champagne tower directly onto her great grandmother’s wedding gown. For some god foresaken reason the champagne had been dyed red to match the victorian vampire aesthetic of the wedding?? The hashtag “BWmeetscarrie” will forever haunt wayne manor.
Dick: He was literally a cop in 2020. his goose was GOT. He was trying to prove that not all cops are bad by posting to that macklemore song with the little black fist painted on his cheek and BLM on the other. u know the one. It didn’t go over very well. Even macklemore commented “c’mon bro..” This was followed by a 45 minute long apology video explaining how he now understands the harm it can cause to lump all marginalized groups into one category and how he regrets his action severely and yada yada yada hes so sorry, at the end there was a 2 minute long acrobatic performance to the song Nina Cried Power by Hozier. He also donated to several black charities following the whole ordeal. Didn’t leave his house for a week.
Jason: Ran a rage bait account on tiktok when he was like 13-15 where he posted cringe alpha sigma male mogging content, and someone somehow found out it was him, and his apology wasn’t so much an apology as much as it was “I’m sorry you were stupid enough to believe the bs I was posting, and I’m sorry i got caught. Fuck you guys btw now I have to find a new hobby 👎🏽.” The videos are still saved to his phone when he needs a good chuckle.
Tim: Said BTS was ass and BP was even worse (he tweeted it out of boredom, knowing it was gonna be bad, but not knowing exactly how bad). Armies and blinks tried to dox him MUTIPLE times but tim keeps it on lock so his info was safe. There was a boycott for WE so Bruce made him post and official apology. It was half assed and there are kpop accounts to this day that say “Fuck tim drake” in their bio. Either that or he got “cancelled” on some Jynxzi stuff. Like the whole situation to a T. Maybe both are true. He also had a ukelele in his apology vid.
Damian: called an old lady a “stupid ugly stinky bitch” on national television because she “asked father too many questions.” (it was an interview) Jaws were dropped. Nay, jaws were dislocated. Damian was too young at the time to have social media, let alone post his own apology, so bruce did it for him and sent that poor old lady a lot of cash.
Duke: Unironically said “if it’s snowing I’m not going.” the dudebros thought that shit was hilarious. No one else laughed. Duke was serious, but he felt so bad about offending people that there were tears in the apology. At least thats the story he’s currently running with.
Cass: A video of her saying the F slur surfaced. Her apology was her coming out.
Steph: Said something offensive without realizing it and didnt know what she did until she tweeted saying “why is everyone being so wierd around me?? did I do something wrong??” everyones response is either “girl please bffr” or genuine actually helpful input. She apologized less than a day later in a quick and concise apology vid.
Barbara: compared herself to marsha P johnson in an interview and when she was asked to elaborate she simply could not. The truth is, she had no idea who that woman was other than the fact that she was a good, cool woman so she was like yea omg im so her. Her apology was also a mini documentary about Marsha P Johnsons life.
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takeurexam · 5 months ago
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dynasty || masterlist
teaser
genre:
non idol au, time travel, romance, rivals to allies to friends to lovers, crown prince to emperor taehyun, reader gets appointed as an concubine, inspired by korean history
pairings:
taehyun x reader
(warning, this does not reflect the REAL idols personality, and no smut will be written to respect the idol, and i am not comfortable as well, the taehyun in this ff is not the actual taehyun)
summary:
in which you, an excellent law student about to graduate collage suddenly get dragged into the past, meeting the famous-fawned over emperor of the kang's dynansty. but you getting dragged into this mess was beyond a mystery, and it seems like you have something deep to discover. meddling with the past is a risky decision after all.
inspired by korean history and mr. queen so yes, i'll be using korean outfits and the palace will be inspired as well.
❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊
chapters:
[teaser]
1:
𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔
Your life seems to be going well, good grades, graduation, friends, life was going so well. Two days before your graduation, you find yourself in a whirlpool to another era, in where the Kang's lead the country, The Kang Dynasty. Confusion washes you over as you explore and adjust to the world, finding ways to get back home.
2:
𝑴𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏
After meeting other people and realizing the situation you're in, you decide to explore around the area, because why.. not? You might find info about where the hell you are and how to get back to where things were.
3:
𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓
You didnt expect to meet a royal too soon, and you share moments with him, which you either hate or cherish.
4:
𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓
After leading the Crown Prince, Kang Taehyun, back to his royal camp, you are met with a new bother in life; the crown prince himself. Staying for a while to offer help to the royal camp struggling with a certain problem, your talents are shown and appreciated which drags you to a mess with the ladies in the palace and town.
5:
𝑵𝒖𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆
You are dragged into a scandal, which gives off a hint of what is your current purpose in this world. Kang Taehyun is still a nuisance but sometimes you feel bad for him.
6:
𝑰𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕
You are reunited with Hobak and Odi, and a new adventure comes up. You set for a new town, and the palace has obvious corruption spread on the whole town.
7:
𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅
Settling your goals and your destiny in the current dynasty you're in, something meddles in between your planning. Something good. You also meet Soobin's family with shocking histories. General Beomgyu offers you a deal that maybe can get you rich. (just like you wanted)
8.
𝑷𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓
You settle in for a while, taking your time to adjust to your new future and life style. Definetely weird, but a new experiance for you.
9.
𝑬𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒔?!
Meeting the high-ranked officials, you all get a test whether you are good for the future emperor or not. A test where in you go through different stages of betrayal and backstabbing. How amazing.
10.
𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤
You couldn't hide from the Crown Prince forever, and you suffer because of it. One exam remains, the ones determining whether you pass or not. The Palace may be bad, but it was suprisingly tolerable. Although, it feels as if the palace is hiding something within the pillars.
11.
𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒆
You discover a secret hidden within the palace walls that no one dares to spill. The Cheol Family has dirty work spilled all over, that no one wishes to clean up. Kang Taehyun finally meets you after a while, after your round of hide and seek. Your last exam comes up, as you anticipate with an ounce of hope that you pass.
12.
𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕
Entering the royal court for the last test, you cant help but be nervous. How well you do is what lies ahead in the future.
13.
𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑶𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕?)
A feast is hosted for your new achievement. But after achieving the "Imperial Concubine" title, things start to get busy for you. Coming from the position of being almost useless to one of the most crucial roles in the palace, you cant help but complain. Complaining is in your nature anyway. But your complains give a whole different outcome from what you wanted. (You're both okay and not okay with it.)
more chapters to come!
updates every 1-4 weeks, depending on my schedule
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radiolore · 5 months ago
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venture x childhoodfriends!reader
heeeyyy soooo.... I watched that one episode of mlp where twilight meets and reconciles with Moondancer and it inspired me to write this 😈😈
ALSO MY FUCKIN DRAFT OF THIS DIDNT SAVE SO I HAD TO START OVER RASGDHFJXKSN
also I haven't written a fanfiction since like.. middle school and for reference I've already graduated so I'm sorry if it's not that good 😭🙏
Sloan Cameron, also known as Venture. a now very well known archeologist, talon fighter, and the occasional overwatch agent. needless to say, their strength, wits, and discoveries has put them in the news and a few articles a good number of times.
right now, believe or not, they're not on some site looking for ancient relics of the past. or, in some way they could be. right now, they're at home looking through old photos of their childhood. they had recently moved after their previous apartment had been destroyed in an omnic attack.
for hours, they had been giggling to themselves, reminiscing old memories.
"awww, that was when I dressed up as a mummy for Halloween! I got called a nerd so many times.." they cringed briefly at the teasing they used to face. not like it was their fault that nobody else seemed to care about having a historically accurate costume! well... nobody except....
"wait.. who's that?" Sloan grabbed another photo, one of them in high school standing next to someone. they scratched their head as they tried to remember who this mystery person is.
"oh! that's y/n!" they finally remembered. their victorious smile faded as they started to remember you. "wow i... completely forgot about them.." they furrowed their brows.
they started to look for more photos of you. the more they saw, the more they remembered.
and the more they remembered about you, the more they remembered what they did to you and the pain they caused.
you and Sloan were best friends. from grade school until high school. the two of you met in grade school, both sharing a passion for dinosaurs, and you were inseparable since. you did everything together. you had a passion for art that matched the passion Sloan had for archeology.
Sloan remembered how you always said that you'd become an infamous artist, creating art for all to see and relate to or empathize with. they thought to themselves... well, if you were as passionate as they were, as they remembered, they were sure they could look you up and find countless of articles and online discussions about you. it would be easy to get in touch with you.
so Sloan pulled out their old cracked phone, and started to do some research on your name.
but... nothing. not so much as an online profile appeared. they blinked, confused. what happened? where were you?
their mind was filled with conflicting thoughts about why they couldn't find you online. they didn't doubt your ability to become successful, but maybe... you have an underground succession thing going on?
after not coming to a satisfying enough conclusion, Sloan shook their head. then they had an idea. even if you don't have an online appearance, you two used to be childhood best friends. it wouldn't be that hard to find you.
Sloan didn't know why, but they felt compelled and determined to find you.
actually, that's a lie. they do know why. they just don't want to think about it.
~
Sloan's nerves were through the roof right now. they started looking for you in their old hometown, and, surprisingly enough, you never left. so after some asking around, they found the apartment you supposedly lived in.
Sloan felt nervous as they stood at your door, feeling like an unwanted guest. well, they kinda are, but you'd be happy to see your old friend, right? who wouldn't be?
taking a deep breath in and puffing their chest out to feign confidence, they finally mustered up the courage to knock at your door.
after waiting dreadfully for a few seconds, the door slowly creaked open. Sloan's heart raced with anticipation for seeing your face again after so many years. and, from what they heard from the people who live here still, it seems nobody else has really seen you that often either.
eventually, the darkness inside your home filled with some light as Sloan was finally able to see your face. wow... you looked.. different. but still just as beautiful.
you styled your hair/hijab differently now, you were wearing more casual clothes (assumably resting at home), and.... you had bags under your eyes?
Sloan stood there awkwardly, watching your face go from confusion to shock. they lifted a hand and said, "hey..." while looking off to the side, unsure of how to greet you after so many years.
"uhm.. do you remember me? it's me, Sloan! we used to be friends? I just moved recently and I found some photos of us, and I thought of you so I wanted to-" they started rambling a bit, before they got interrupted.
"what are you doing here." Sloan's heart dropped as they heard the slight venom in your tone and they looked at your expression, only to find an emotionless, yet slightly bitter face. it wasn't the face they remembered... you used to be so sweet and caring, never letting a sour expression on your face. so why are you so different now?
"er- well.. I wanted to reconnect. I know we haven't talked in years, a-and I'm sorry for not reaching out before! but I got so focused on my work that i-" they were interrupted yet again as you scoffed, looking away.
"right. I know you were. I see you all the time on the news." you sighed. "look, it was real nice of you to stop by, but I'd rather be alone right now. goodbye." you shut the door.
Sloan stood there, shocked at your words and reaction.
meanwhile, on the other side of the door, your hands shook as you gripped the doorknob still. your heart ached as you just slammed the door in the face of your old friend, and... your old love.
way back when you two were still friends, as you grew up, you grew to like Sloan. like, really like them. they were everything to you. they meant everything to you. that is, until..
you shook the thought away, not wanting to remember. you let out a shaky sigh, trying to clam down from the flurry of emotions flowing through you right now. you held your head in your hands, overwhelmed. another knock at your door snapped you out of your thoughts. feeling anger build up again, you opened the door again, narrowing your exhausted eyes at your ex-friend.
"why are you still here? what do you want from me?" you spewed at them, feeling annoyed at the sight of them still at your door.
"listen, I know that we've- I've been gone for a long time, but I really want to reconnect with you. I want to be friends with you again." they pleaded, hoping you'll agree to their request.
your heart winced at the word "friends". you bit your lip, closed your eyes and sighed. "no thanks. I don't need anyone else, and I certainly don't need you." you closed the door again, this time with the intention of ignoring them if they tried knocking again.
Sloan stood there yet again, not knowing what to do. you were so... angry. and they knew why. and they knew they had to make it up to you. they did try knocking again, but after you didn't open the door again after the third knock, they left. they were still just as determined as ever to make it up to you.
you on the other hand, was determined as ever to push your feelings away and forget about them. you thought you had moved on, but seeing them again just brought up so many old memories, feelings, emotions, and heart break.
you sat on your couch, going through your phone. finally finding your and Sloan's old messages, you scrolled through the countless unread messages you had sent. tears welled up in your eyes as every emotion you felt then made themselves known again.
you remembered the heart ache you felt. the betrayal you felt. the sadness, the anxiety, the frustration, and the anger. you felt so.. distraught. you didn't know what to do with all these emotions.
after what happened, you became a shut-in. you closed yourself off from everyone else. you never left your hometown, never having enough money to do so and no goal in mind of where you would even move to if you wanted to. the sheer pain Sloan had caused you ruined you.
you had spent countless nights remembering them. so many nights wasted on laying in bed awake at 3am crying your eyes out over them. after a while, you convinced yourself that you moved on and that they weren't worth your time or emotions. nobody was worth your heart anymore. and you weren't going to mope around anymore hoping someone would change your mind. and you certaininly weren't going to let Sloan give you that hope.
~
Sloan felt defeated as they continued on their walk throughout their old town. every idea they had seemed like an idea that wouldn't work or go well.
almost considering giving up and going home, they paused as they saw a flier on a telephone pole. it was an advertisement for an art show coming up, which happens to be the next day. face lighting up, Sloan had an idea, it may be a dumb one, but most of the ideas they had were dumb, and those pretty much always worked out, so why wouldn't this one?
grabbing one of the fliers, they started to make their way back to your home, remembering your door had a mail slot in it.
~
you were sitting on your couch, sketching in your sketchbook to calm yourself down from earlier. even after what happened all those years ago, you still pursued art as a hobby.
your ears perked up as you heard something go through your mail slot in your door. curious, you got up to check what it was. you opened up the folded piece of paper, and saw it was an ad for an art show coming up tomorrow at the local museum. you felt a little excitement run through you at the thought of going to another art show. you enjoyed going to shows like this, seeing other artists' work. but that excitement was short lived as it was replaced with confusion.
"why am I getting mail at 8pm at night...?" you mumbled to yourself. opening the door, hoping to catch the culprit who gave you this ad, you looked around but found no one in sight. you just shrugged your shoulders and closed the door.
around the corner, Sloan was hiding behind a corner, silently celebrating that didn't seem to find out it was them who left it there and, fingers-crossed, were going to the art show the next day. their heart raced again that day as they prayed that you would show up.
~
sure enough, the next day came and you dressed up in some nice clothes and showed up to the art show. but, as you were arriving to the first steps to the museum, a familiar face stopped you dead in your tracks. Sloan.
"what are YOU doing here?" you asked, irritated.
Sloan took some steps towards you, "well, I know how passionate you are for art, so I thought I'd invite you here! we could walk through the exhibits and all the art together and catch up!" they excitedly explained, reaching their hand out for you to take.
they looked away for a second, finally being more honest, "look i- I know I hurt you. and I wanted to make it up to you. so please, let me try." they pleaded, looking back at you, flashing that famous smile at you that you loved.
your eyes wavered, considering taking their hand for a brief moment. but then you swallowed your feelings and pushed their hand away.
"and.. you think this is going to make up for everything?" you questioned.
"uhh, yes?" they said, full of hope.
"oh, so, you're gonna invite ME to this art show, when you couldn't even bother to show up to the last one?" you felt your emotions begin to rise up.
"what after this? you're going to leave? are you going to leave me again without even saying goodbye?" tears started to well up in your eyes.
"everyone was expecting me to be able to make a name for myself at that show, to finally start my successful career in art like I said I would! and i completely bombed it! I felt absolutely humiliated!!" your voice started to rise as you finally started venting all your feelings about what happened to them.
"I spent the whole event thinking about you: 'where's Sloan?', 'where are they?', 'maybe they're just late!', 'where's the person that i love?'!" your voice cracked.
"I felt like I didn't matter to you! it was the biggest opportunity of my life and I needed you there, and you! DIDN'T! SHOW! UP!" finally being overwhelmed by your emotions, you stormed off, tears rolling down your face as you ran off back home.
Sloan stood at the entrance of the museum, unaware of the people staring and just focused on your fleeing form. they were absolutely mortified. they knew they had hurt you.. but they didn't know it was this bad. or maybe they just didn't want to accept that it was this bad. they let a few stray tears go down their face before wiping them and coming after you.
~
you were at home, feeling as embarrassed and exhausted as ever. you felt empty too. tears were still coming down your face as you heard a soft knock at the door. you knew who it was. you briefly contemplated ignoring it, before getting up and opening the door, avoiding eye contact with the tall figure.
"y/n... can- can I come in?" Sloan stammered, unsure if you'd actually say yes.
you didn't even care at this point, you nodded and opened the door enough for them to come inside.
Sloan looked around your home, various art pieces and papers scattered around. they watched as you sat on your couch, following suit.
"hey.. about what-" they started before getting interrupted by none other than you once again. except this time it was much different than the last times.
"im sorry." you croaked out. Sloan had a confused expression on their face.
"i-im sorry for yelling and making a scene like that at the museum. I'm sorry for being so cold to you before when you were just trying to make amends." you genuinely felt guilty. you started to realize that, as much of a horrible friend they were for leaving you, you were just as bad for treating them that way.
Sloan shook their head, "no, I should be the one apologizing." they paused. "I abandoned you when you needed me. and... I never even said goodbye. I left. and we never spoke for over 10 years." Sloan started to feel their own guilt begin to rise up in them as they confessed.
"the reason I left... well, we were 16 and I had gotten accepted for an internship with the wayfinders society. but... it required me to leave to wherever they needed me, whether it's Cairo, Petra, Egypt, anywhere. it was the biggest opportunity of my life... and I knew that if I didn't accept it, I'd miss out on having my dream job." they smiled a bit as they remembered their early days as an archeologist. you started to look up at them, listening to their explanation.
Sloan frowned again, "but... the day they needed me to get on the plane and leave.. was the day of your art show. I had to choose. and... I'm sorry. I couldn't let this opportunity slip by me. so.. I got on the plane and left." their voice started to waver. "i.. I'm sorry I never even said goodbye. I wanted to but... I didn't know how. I knew it'd hurt you. and after you started texting me so much, asking me where I was and why I disappeared and left, I didn't know what to do. I was scared." there were now more tears coming down Sloan's face as they finally confessed how they felt about that whole situation. ever since it happened, they had never told a soul about what they did. they had too much guilt ridden inside them to ever tell that to anybody, especially you.
you reached over to hold their hand, hoping to comfort them, just like you used to.
"im... I'm sorry you had to make that decision. I know it must have been an incredibly difficult one. but you not showing up and leaving without a word really did hurt me a lot..." you swallowed nervously, preparing to say your next words.
"the truth is... the reason why it was so important to me for you to be there was because.. I was going to confess to you afterwards." you closed your eyes, not wanting to see what Sloan's reaction to that was. "i... I had a huge crush on you for so long, and-and i had planned for months how I was going to confess, and after I heard about the art show and applying, I had a whole plan to invite you and confess to you afterwards." your cheeks started to flush a little.
"so... when you didn't show up.. and you left... it completely broke me. I felt abandoned, I felt like you hated me and didn't care about me." your voice started to crack again as tears threatened to spill.
Sloan's own cheeks heated up a little at your confession. you.. liked them? suddenly little behaviors you exhibited way back when started to make sense in their head. seeing that you were about to start crying, they brought a hand up to your face and caressed your cheek with their thumb.
you jumped a little at the sudden feeling of their hand comforting you. it had been so long since you've felt a comforting touch like this, let alone from them. you naturally leaned into and actually begun crying again.
"y/n.. I had no idea you liked me that much.. I'm sorry for not realizing sooner." they paused to think... they knew they never really had feelings for you like that. but... that was over 10 years ago. both of you were completely different people.
"do you think maybe.. we could start over?" Sloan proposed. they still wanted to make things up to you. hurting you was the last thing they ever wanted to do.
you sniffled as you looked up at them through blurry vision and teary eyes.
"i.. I'd like that." you finally smiled. the smile that Sloan loved.
"great.." Sloan cleared their throat as they stuck out their other hand to you for a handshake. "Heya! I'm Sloan, also known as Venture, it's nice to meet you! that's your name?"
you giggled at their silliness, but after calming down, you gently took their hand and shook it. "hi, I'm y/n. it's nice to meet you too." the both of you sat in comfortable silence, smiling at each other.
neither of you knew what your own respective feelings were for the other.. you didn't know if you loved them still. and Sloan didn't know if they'd ever grow to love you the way that you did. but either way, neither of you will ever be abandoning each other. you're here for each other.
~
HOLY SHIT I FUCKING FINISHED IT JESUSSSSS
anywayz
I hope at least one of u gooners liked this even tho I yap a lot 🙏🙏
also not proofread cuz it's like 5am and I've been typing for hours and I'm not gonna read allat 😭🙏
anywayz
hope it was good enough considering I hadn't written for years lol
Bai Bai :3
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lemon-wedges · 20 days ago
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Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)
ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;
Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha
undercut cause it came out real long
SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.
And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.
heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)
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after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!
instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.
examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.
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the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!
Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines
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NOW PAINTING.
man. where to even start.
the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.
VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE
I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.
like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention
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the next step from this is adding a light source.
and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.
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and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes
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this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up
NOW COLOR
is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
its a lot and im actually still learning myself
But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too
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WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.
figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.
my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.
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and then? i start rendering
that would be TECHNIQUE
And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.
With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.
I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol
The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D
ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end
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anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah
BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD
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saintobio · 6 months ago
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HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!
first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.
BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.
anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.
oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…
honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀
omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:
- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it
- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.
- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished
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agirlwithglam · 9 months ago
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how to develop self love and confidence
— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥
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disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.
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step 1: identifying the root cause
first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:
society
your looks
comparison
your abilities
childhood trauma
your current situations
it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.
for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"
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step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.
here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)
society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!
your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)
comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!
your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!
childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.
your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!
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step 3: focus on yourself!!
my favourite step!!
this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.
when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!
ask yourself: is there even something to love?
ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.
if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
small things/habits to start:
gratitude
hydration
exercising
journalling
meditation
eating healthy
developing a skill
get enough sleep
take cold showers
taking care of your skin
invest in your appearance
focussing on school/ your grades
go outside! go for walks, be in nature!
changing what you consume (resources below)
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some resources that helped me SO MUCH:
♡ thewizardliz
♡ tam kaur
♡ persephone's mind
and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.
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xoxo, vanilla
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