#but coming back to girlhood. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

get-more-bald · 28 days ago

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the thing about me is that not only have i never been a boy but I've also lost my girlhood. so now everything sucks while I wait to grow into a man

#i think i realized my transsexuality at the wrong time #if i thought about it later i wouldve had my girlhood at least. maybe i couldve even had girl friends #unfortunately the alienation is crazy. and now i will never have been a 'boy'. it was stolen from me #<- also god. i hate that i cant be sure whether it actually was. or if i made up my memories #i remember when i was like 5 or so i loved spiderman so so so much and i had a stuffed spiderman toy and i wanted to be a boy #and i was sure that i was a boy. but people told me its never happened #its strange and hurtful because i remember just holding my stuffed spiderman in the cinema and telling my aunt something about being a bou #also i couldve just made that up i guess. ill never know!#because the aunt wont tell me and the mother denies everything #but coming back to girlhood.#recently ive watched some silly youtube video but one thing the woman there said stuck with me #it was that 'men may not understand and may make fun of it but girls know how fun greeting your friends with squeals and hugs is'#something like that anyways #and it stuck with me because. ive been a 'girl' but ive never had that. no girl friends were ever excited to see me even when i tried #but ive never had real boy friends either. ive never been and dont know if ill ever be 'bro' or if ill ever get to get beer with the boys #or whatever like that. ill have relationships but ill always be at least a step removed from anybody else #anyways i want that stuffed spiderman BACK.

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mother-lee · 6 months ago

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almost heaven

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tylchristine · 1 month ago

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broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it.

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daintydoll13 · 12 days ago

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「I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinkin'

Probably mindless dreamin'

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right」

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stormsandskies · 10 months ago

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Every once and a while I think about Jay and Ava and wonder what they were like when then were younger

were they super close? did they go on little adventures together? did ava braid jays hair? did they play dress up? did they give each other bad makeovers? was there fashion shows for their parents?

what was their girlhood like? was it happy? or was there an underlying note of sadness under all of it because someone was missing?

did their father taint the happy family memories?

or was he actively present and involved until their teens?

Did he come home from work and tuck them in?

Did he play dolls with them?

#jrwi riptide #jrwi #just roll with it #jay ferin #jrwi jay #jrwi ava #i just want to know #i feel like it was a good childhood #i know she definitely had a happier one then the boys #idk there’s this connection with girlhood that’s so important to me #and to characters too #like did she have a phase where she hated pink and feminine clothing?#does she now love pink and twirly skirts?#anyways i love jay ferin #come back pookie #i miss you

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dollyiia · 4 months ago

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｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ﾟ。 hihi wlcm to my blog!!

　ﾟ･｡･

‧₊˚ 🕊️ ⋅ stuff abt mee .ᐟ.ᐟ

꒰ 🥄 ⊹ ˚ . name :: kyra

ꉂ`🐇`˖ * pr / ns :: she/her

‧˚꒰🤍꒱༘⋆ hobbies :: reading, writing, listening to music, and thinking.

✧˚ ༘ ☁️

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

࿐ 🦢 ࿔*:･need a song to play?

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ now playing ::

lover, you should’ve come over by jeff buckley ✧˚ ༘

» [lover, you should’ve come over] «

2:27 ──〇──── 6:59

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

꩜ ᝰ.ᐟ➛ ᯓ★

some basic info. about myself ☻

uhhh i like to read and write sometimes, i actually used to write on here but i get super self conscious and end up deleting it. i love love love movies im a huge movie fanatic, i will watch anything and everything some of my favorite movies are lady bird, call me by ur name, bones n all, anddd the perks of being a wallflower those are some i can name off of the top of my head— if u also like movies pleasee follow my letterboxd: dollyiaa. umm i love fashion as well i love styling myself and things like that and just looking at fashion overall, i used to design fashion actually but i stopped back in 6th grade. i also love to think that’s actually how i spend most of my time i kinda just sit in a bed and think about everything and anything—another thing i love is posting and scrolling on tumblr is app is like my safe space to kinda get away from everything anddd that’s abt it .ᐟ.ᐟ

/) /)

(｡•ㅅ•｡)〝₎₎ my favorites! ✦₊ ˊ˗

╭∪─∪────────── ✦ ⁺.

┊ ◟﹫ book : the bell jar by sylvia plath

┊﹒𐐪 tv show : family guy and bobs burgers

┊ꜝꜝ﹒ movie : lady bird and sm more

┊ ⨳゛food : french fries

┊ ◟ヾ Colour : all of em

┊ ◟﹫ sport: basketball and track

┊﹒𐐪 animal: cats n hamsters

╰───────────── ✦ ⁺.

꩜ ᝰ.ᐟ➛ ᯓ★

˗ˏˋ 𝐓 𝐎 𝐏 𝟑 𝐒 𝐎 𝐍 𝐆 𝐒 ˎˊ˗

1. lover, you should’ve come over (live) by jeff buckley

2. maps by the yeah yeah yeahs

3. roseblood by mazzy star

꩜ ᝰ.ᐟ➛ ᯓ★

tyty for reading .ᐟ.ᐟ

꒒ ০ ⌵ ୧

kyra ♡

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milfygerard · 8 months ago

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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.

#barry.txt #taylor swift #putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush #which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general #whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music #her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate #shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes #onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt #i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort #to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her #if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of #milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share #taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly #shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand #idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable #in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush #and scene #should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine #i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine

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wildflowerwildfir3 · 22 days ago

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I’ve been so sleepy recently

anyways this has been my song lately

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sugarcandydoll · 6 months ago

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feel like i need a break from tumblr cause there's sm negativity lately :(♡ feel so sad cause i love being here n girlblog n talk w moots n read good fics hehe ♡🫶🏼💕 but dunno what's in the air rn i hope it goes away soon :(♡