#but can we not like. just change them a bit at least

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 40: Where Do We Go From Here?

Summary: Things aren't going as smoothly as anyone would like. Maybe they can fix it. Maybe they can't.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 5,970 words

Warnings: Angst, discussion of nightmares, PTSD, discussion of death and killing people, emotions, so many emotions, angst, a little sliver of comfort

A/N: And it is back!! not super proud of this one but I'm starting out on a filler so...yeah. Really just setting up for the next part where some action starts again. You'll see. Anyway, glad to be back at it and I hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->

John stands at the door, gazing out at the yard. It’s pouring rain, dumping buckets on the roof. The water has pooled on the planks of the deck, splattering with every big drop that pours from the sky. The weather once again mirrors your mood, your sobs audible from your room over the pounding on the roof. 

John holds his mug in his hands, staring at the reflection in the window. Kyle and Johnny are sitting on the couch, both looking like kicked puppies. They’re itching to enter your room and go comfort you, but they’ve been kicked out for now. You’re not in the state of mind to be around any of them right now, no matter how badly your sobs tear at their heartstrings. 

You haven’t been in that state of mind for a few hours now. 

Whatever nightmare had plagued your mind last night, it was particularly awful. You’ve been up since the early hours, waking from a nightmare with a terrified scream that had continued until Kyle finally got you to stop and breathe. His ears are still ringing with it, his mind still pulsing with that fear. Something happened. Someone got in. Someone hurt you. 

Nothing happened. No one got in.  

The only threat was still just in your mind. 

Graves. 

He knows that’s at least part of your nightmares. Christine had disclosed that to him quietly on the side. Even she doesn’t know everything that plagues your dreams, but Graves seems to be a common specter in the darkness of your mind. 

It makes his blood boil, and not just out of anger for what Graves did to you. 

It boils with anger at himself too. 

It’s his fault you’re in this state in the first place. He should have known, he should have seen, he should have suspected. He should have never left you there. You should have been his priority over anything else. 

How badly he’s failed you. 

He lets out a sigh, turning away from the window to move over to the couches. He sinks down with a sigh, resting his elbows on his knees. The little progress you’ve made has regressed with this new string of nightmares, the fear pushing you further and further back into your mind. He’s resolved himself to only get worried when Christine is worried, and right now she’s beginning to look worried. If you regress back again, the chances of bringing you out of that are slim. Sure, there are plenty of options to help, but you have to want them to help. 

He knows exactly what will help, you just don’t want it. 

He runs a hand through his hair as your sobs begin to quiet. It’s longer than he’s let it get for a long time. They’re all a bit scraggly and ragged looking, worn down and lazy now that there’s no strict rules guiding their lives. None of them quite know what to do outside of the regulations they’ve spent the better parts of their lives living under. He’s been in the military longer now than he hasn’t, and he’s been finding himself itching for that structure again. He can never bring himself to relax and put the job aside even on leave. He only takes it when he has to and usually spends it training and keeping his skills sharp. 

Now...now things have changed. 

They have no return now. There’s no clear, set time that they have to return to base. They can’t return to base. It would leave them too open to a possible retaliation from Shepherd. They were betrayed by one of their own already, who's to say someone else wouldn’t be just as eager to become a traitor for a chunk of cash? They’re not even truly safe here. 

How are they going to go back to base after this? Can he bring himself to take you back there, a place you never felt comfortable in the first place? 

Where do they go from here? 

He’s been trying not to think too much about it. That’s a dilemma for a different day. That’s thinking too far ahead. Day by day is as far as he dares to take it now. 

The door closes quietly, John’s head lifting to watch Christine as she approaches the couch. There’s a slump to her shoulders, something that’s been getting lower and lower as the days have progressed. She’s struggling with this just as much as they all are. 

She sinks down on the couch, letting out a long breath. Your sobs have quieted, no sound coming from the room now. The silence is almost eerie after days of constant sounds, good and bad from your room. You were doing better. You were looking more alive and well. 

Then this happened. 

“She’s asleep.” Christine says, her voice strained. “Finally calmed down enough to nap.” She covers her eyes with a hand, sitting there still for a moment. 

“The nightmares?” John asks, glancing at Christine out of the corner of his eye. 

“Worse.” She says, her gaze far away. “She's remembering what happened.” 

John stares at Kyle and Johnny for a moment, the betas returning his worried gaze.

“Those shadows she killed...” Johnny says.

Christine nods. “She's, uh, not taking it well.” 

John runs a hand over his face. He knew it was possible you'd start to remember what happened during the time your omega took control. It wouldn't remain a dark spot forever, though he hoped it would. The things you were forced to do are coming to light now, the things you did to survive because they failed you. Taking the life of someone who deserves it is nothing to them. Taking the life of someone who would take yours just as quickly isn't so much as a second thought. 

You're not like them. 

You've never had to face that reality before, and you shouldn't have had to. 

“One of us should talk to her.” Kyle says.

“I don't think that's the best idea right now.” Christine shakes her head. “She's...regressed a bit. Pushing that on her, while well intentioned, might do more harm than good...” she trails off, her gaze still far away. 

The three of them sit there, waiting for what she’s going to say next. He’s not even sure Johnny or Kyle are breathing as they wait patiently for whatever solution Christine might be able to come up with, whatever move she thinks is the best one to take next. 

“I want to take her out.” Christine says. 

“What?” John asks in surprise. 

“She needs to get out of the house. It’s not doing any of us any good sitting in here all day.” She rubs her eyes. “She expressed interest in going for a walk a couple days ago. She needs to get up and moving, start regaining some of her strength.” 

John lets out a breath leaning back against the couch. He’s tempted to say no. His knee jerk reaction is to refuse. The world outside isn’t safe. If anyone is watching, if anyone sees them...

There’s always going to be that risk though, and Christine is right. Sitting in the house all day isn’t doing any of them any good. They’re at the mercy of the rain, but even then, he doubts it will keep any of them trapped inside for long. 

“When the rain clears up.” He finally says. “We'll discuss it more. But, I think that might be a good idea.” 

“What can we do?” Kyle asks, staring at Christine. 

She lets out a sigh, covering her eyes with her hand. “I don’t know. I’ve helped hundreds of omegas in crisis and yet I don’t know why this case is so hard.” 

“This has become more personal than those cases.” John says. 

Christine’s shoulders slump even more. “I know. I try so hard but she’s just so...different from other omegas.” 

“This entire situation is different from what you’ve done before.” Kyle says. 

“You’re right.” Christine sighs. “The best we can do is let her lead. Do what she needs, give her what she wants. The worst thing that can happen right now is regression. If she regresses too far, we might never get her back.” 

“What is it? Tell me what ye need.” 

“Can you make me forget?” 

“I wish I could.” 

“Hit me hard enough on the head I might forget everything. Then we can all just start over.” 

“That’s not funny.” 

“It wasn’t supposed to be.” 

“Kitten,” Johnny sighs, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I wish I could make those thoughts go away. I wish I could make them mine.” 

“I killed people.” 

“I know.” He reaches out, touching your hand. “I wish ye didnae have to. Ye were just defending yerself. Those Shadows would have done worse to ye if ye hadn’t.” 

You curl up in your chair, turning away from him. “That’s not helpful.” 

“Sorry.” He says, letting out another sigh. “We just want to help ye.” 

You’re silent for a moment, sitting there listening to the waves. It’s cold this morning, not even the thick blanket draped over you offering much respite. It’s the first morning it hasn’t poured rain in days and you were determined to take full advantage of it despite the objections of your pack. 

“I know.” You finally say, staring out at the grey clouds looming on the horizon. The rain will return, just like the dark thoughts constantly swirling in your mind. They make you sick, nausea constantly churning in your stomach and threatening to rise. 

Johnny wraps his hand around yours, his palm warm against your cold skin. “Should head inside. Gonnae catch a cold.” 

“You know that’s a myth right?” You say, tilting your head to stare at him. 

“No it’s not.” He says, pulling your hand between his. “It’s not good for ye being out in the cold.” 

“I’ll live.” You say, trying to pull your hand from his, but he holds you firm. He’s stubborn, but so are you. 

“Kitten...” He says, almost whining at you. “Go inside please.” 

You let out a sigh, staring out at the horizon again. The clouds promise more rain soon, another downpour on its way. You hate it, how much it’s been raining. You just want to be outside, down at the beach, going on walks. Your pack won’t let you though, not while it’s raining, even though they often leave no matter the weather. 

It’s not fair. 

You’re not a fragile flower and you’re tired of being treated that way. Even though your brain feels like it’s in a blender constantly. Even though the pain of what happened still drives into you like a knife, you just want to be treated like a normal human being again. 

“Fine.” You sigh, pushing yourself up to stand. “I’ll go inside.” 

Johnny grabs your arm before you can head back in the door. “Ye know we just want the best for you.” 

You stare at him for a long moment, emotions swirling in your mind. They are trying. You’ll give them that credit. They’re trying, but not hard enough. “What you think is best and what’s actually best isn’t always the same.” 

He looks like a kicked puppy as he lets you go. You turn away before you can feel guilty, heading back inside the cottage. 

You pull the blanket tighter around you as you stare at the flickering flames in the hearth. The heat is intense so close, but it’s warming the chill under your skin. It’s getting colder at night, foretelling the upcoming winter. All the blankets in the world couldn’t fight off the chill that’s settled in you at night. You know what might help, but you’re not brave enough to approach that solution. 

The footsteps on the stairs don’t startle you in the otherwise silent house, the creak of them audible over the crackle of the logs in the fire. 

“I’d add another one.” A voice says from behind you. 

“I’m going to.” You say, reaching for the stack next to the fireplace. 

“Careful. Put it on the side.” 

“I know how to make a fire, thank you.” You snap, shoving the log in before moving it into place with the poker. “I’m not useless.” 

“Didn’t mean to imply you were.” It’s silent for a moment as you settle back into place. “What are you doing out here?” 

“I’m cold.” You answer simply, not feeling up to giving an entire expose on your current state of mind to the person you want to speak to the least right now. 

“We can turn the heat up more.” John says. “Whatever you want to be more comfortable.” 

I want you to leave. You bite your lip, suddenly not brave enough to say it out loud. 

They are trying. 

“Why are you down here?” You ask instead. 

“Couldn’t sleep so I came to get a snack.” He says. “You want anything?” 

“No.” You say quickly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. “I’m alright.” 

“You sure?” He presses, standing off to your right. 

You hesitate for a moment, curling your toes under the blanket as one of the logs snaps. It’s not food you need from him. Your appetite has decreased again with this new wave of horrible things plaguing your mind. “I want to know why,” You say, swallowing the lump in your throat. “why you left me there.” 

John shifts behind you, silent for a long moment. 

“I got too caught up in the big picture.” He finally says. “I thought that taking out Shepherd would end everything before it went too far. It’s the only way we’ll ever be safe, and I didn’t consider the lengths he’d go to, the lengths he’d let Graves go to, just to cover his own ass long enough for him to escape. I was wrong in making that decision. You’re not like us. You’ve never been left behind, tortured, had to fight your way out of an impossible situation. You shouldn’t have ever been put in that position. We all failed you. Every last one of us.” 

Tears burn your eyes as you stare into the fire. “You left me.” 

“I know.” He says, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made.” 

“I can’t do this.” You whisper, your knuckles white where they’re gripping the edges of the blanket. The words are coming out and you can’t stop them. Maybe it’s because deep down you remember the better times, when he was a comfort. Someone you could trust to catch you when you fall. “I keep seeing them, seeing what I did, what happened. I killed people.” 

“People that would have killed you without a second thought.” He says. “You were defending yourself in a situation where that was unavoidable. It’s not your fault. None of it is.” 

“Can we ever move past this?” You ask, your voice quiet and broken.  

“I like to think we can.” John says. “It won’t be easy, but if that’s what you want, we sure as hell will work to make it happen. Things won’t go back to the way they were, and they shouldn’t. You deserve better than what we gave you.” 

You don’t respond because you can’t. His words float around in your mind, replaying over and over. You want to believe him. You desperately want to believe him, but a deep part of you can’t. He’s made promises before and then broke them. How can you trust this time will be different? 

The creak of the stairs wakes you. It’s jarring, pulling you out of a sleep you didn’t know you were in. You’re on the couch in the living room, bundled under a blanket with a decorative pillow under your head. You don’t remember moving to the couch. The fire is nothing more than embers now, but it feels warmer in the house. It’s dawn, the grey light streaming in through the window, chasing away the shadows of night. 

“What are you doing out here?” A gruff voice asks you. 

You groan, rubbing your eyes. “Fell asleep.” 

“On the couch?” 

“Think I was on the floor first.” You yawn, pressing your face back into the pillow. “Don’t remember getting to the couch.” 

“Why?” 

“Got cold.” Your voice is slightly muffled as you pull the blanket up higher. 

Simon lets out a sigh before moving around the couch to the fireplace. He adds a couple logs in before lighting it again, the fire crackling back to life. You’re half asleep already as another blanket is draped over you, tucked up around your neck. There’s a feeling of a hand brushing over your head, but that may have just been your imagination as you drift off back to sleep. 

You don’t get to sleep long, more footsteps coming down the stairs waking you. A hand does brush over your head this time, the scent of the beach filling your nose. You let out a groan, trying to snuggle deeper into the blankets. 

“Sleeping out here this morning?” Kyle’s soft voice reaches your ears. 

You grunt, chasing the quickly fading edges of sleep in your brain. 

“Breakfast is ready, if you want to get up.” 

You are hungry. There’s a quiet rumble of your stomach as you begin to register the smells coming from the kitchen: bacon and eggs and coffee. Johnny is making the coffee most likely. Maybe you’ll have some this morning. You might need it with how groggy you feel. 

You stretch out on the couch, trying to breathe some life into your limbs. It’s not the most comfortable couch, definitely not for sleeping, but it’s better than the floor. It was likely John that moved you. He was the only one that knew you were out here last night. 

You're not sure how that makes you feel. 

It's nice on one hand, that he saved you from the pains of sleeping on the floor. But at the same time it feels like an intrusion. There was a time you wouldn't have thought twice about it. There was a time it would have been normal and expected and you would have thanked him for it. 

Now...now you're not sure. 

You push yourself up to sit, joints cracking from being stuck in one position for so long. You blink slowly as you sit there for a moment. It’s warm in the house, almost too warm now with your body warmed from sleep. Dr. Keller is sitting at the table, a steaming mug in front of her. Tea, most likely. Maybe coffee. You’re not quite sure. She gives you a soft smile as you rub a hand across your face. 

You feel groggy as you push yourself up to stand, letting your stomach and feet guide you towards the smells coming from the kitchen. Kyle guides you to the table with a promise of making you a plate and you take your usual seat at the end of the table facing the kitchen. Dr. Keller is to your left this time, coffee in her mug judging by the smell. 

“How did you sleep?” She asks, her hands wrapped around the mug. 

“Fine. Got cold.” You say, resting your head in your hand.

“John turned the heat up a bit. We can get you more blankets if you need them.” Dr. Keller says. 

You hum, letting your eyes close for a moment. You won’t complain about more blankets, more soft things to lay with. There is one thing you wish you had, though. You’re not quite sure how to ask for it, or that it would even be possible to get. 

You jump when a hand touches your back, not realizing you had even dozed off sitting there. 

“Sorry.” Kyle says, setting a plate on the table in front of you. “Food’s hot. You want coffee or tea.” 

“Coffee.” You say instantly, earning a wide grin from Johnny as he takes his own seat at the table. 

“Even split this morning.” He says cheekily, setting his own mug down. “Three against three.” 

“Tea is still the superior choice.” Kyle says from the kitchen. “Better for you anyway.” 

“Coffee has a lot of health benefits as well.” Dr. Keller says. “So long as you don’t add too much sugar into it.” 

“See.” Johnny says, giving them a victorious grin. 

“She said so long as you don’t put too much sugar in it.” Kyle says, carrying over your mug of coffee. “You’ll get diabetes from how much you add in.” 

“Two spoonfuls isnae too much.” He turns to look at Dr. Keller. “Is it?” 

Dr. Keller gives him a worried look. “You might be pushing it there.” 

Johnny’s grin turns into a pout. “What do ye mean?” 

A ghost of a smile tugs at your lips as you quickly shovel a forkful of eggs into your mouth. As much as the deep pain of betrayal still aches in your chest, as much as you still want to hate them, you have to admit you missed this. It’s the least tense you’ve seen all of them in the last few weeks. Even Dr. Keller’s shoulders don’t seem quite so squared as they have been. 

A part of you feels guilty about it. It is your fault deep down. You’re the one keeping them all on edge, driving that wedge between them over and over again. Deep down you’re the one causing the heavy weight that’s settled over the house. You wish you could just go back to normal, you wish you could just wave a wand and make yourself okay again. You wish you could ease their pain just a little bit. 

The eggs suddenly don’t taste quite so good anymore. 

You force them down regardless in favor of causing another scene, in favor of dragging the mood down. They deserve a little lighthearted moment after everything. They don’t need to know the inner turmoil plaguing your mind. 

Simon shifts next to you, his eyes darting to glance at your face. You can feel them, the intensity of his gaze just as sharp as it had been back in the beginning, back before he looked at you with fondness. He’s stiff as he sits there, almost as if he can sense the storm raging inside of you as you force yourself to pretend that you’re fine in favor of keeping the bright mood that’s settled over the table. 

Maybe he can sense it. He is an alpha after all. It’s his job to know, to understand. You glance across the table at John, his eyes on his phone as he sips his tea. 

Your gaze drops down to your plate as you pick up a piece of bacon, your heart shattering just a little bit more. 

“‘S too early.” You whine as hands pull the blanket off of you. Cold air nips at your skin, making you curl up in a ball. 

“It’s noon. Come on.” A hand closes around your arm, gently shaking you. “You want to get up.” 

You let out a whine, pinching your face up. “No.” 

“Trust me. It’ll be worth it.” Kyle says, brushing the hair back from your face. 

“Why.” You say, letting out a huff. 

“We’re going on a little trip.” Kyle pulls you up, forcing you into a seated position. “Dress warm.” 

You’re alone in the room again, the door left open. Light streams in, making you squint against the harsh intrusion. A quick glance at the clock reveals it is, in fact, a little past noon. You took a nap to make up for a night of tumultuous sleep, one of the few things you have to do here in this prison. Nap and read. It’s a lot like your life before the cottage, before everything that happened, except now you’re stuck with your pack around you at all times. 

You almost miss the times they were away. 

You maneuver yourself so your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you try to blink the drowsiness away. The nap hadn’t been nearly long enough, but judging by Kyle’s eagerness, they let you sleep a bit longer than they wanted. 

You let out a sigh before pushing yourself off the bed, moving to the dresser. You pull out warm clothes, quickly changing. You have no idea what they have planned, what’s going on. There was no frantic rush, Kyle’s energy more excited than anything. It makes you a bit worried as you step out of the room into the living area. 

They’re all waiting by the door, watching you as you approach them, rubbing your eyes. 

“Come on,” John says, setting a pair of shoes on the floor. “Boots on.” 

“What are we doing?” You ask, moving forward automatically. 

“We’re taking a little trip.” Kyle answers. 

You look at him cautiously as you step into the boots, pulling them on. You haven’t been away from the cottage since you arrived two weeks ago. You’ve barely been let outside, weather permitting. It’s an overcast day today, the world grey outside, but grey is better than rain. 

“Ready?” John asks as you stare at him. 

“I guess.” You say, still a bit hesitant. 

They make no effort to ease your discomfort and nerves. 

You’re led out the door and towards the cars by Dr. Keller. Her face is brighter than it has been lately which doesn’t help your nervous energy. She’s excited too, just like the rest of them. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. Maybe it’s the anxiety of leaving after being trapped inside for so long. You just want to know where you’re going, what it is you’re going to be doing. 

Dr. Keller ushers you into the back seat of one of the cars, getting in the other side. Kyle and John climb into the front while Johnny and Simon get into the other car. 

You watch the green pass by as they drive, taking in the new landscape. You don’t remember arriving at the cottage. You don’t remember most of the trip at all. It’s all a blur in your memory, much like the events that transpired after your omega took over had been. You wish you could remember the trip over those events. You’d take green rolling hills over your own hands taking lives. 

It had been jarring waking in the cottage for the first time. A new place, a lack of memories getting there. You’re beginning to get tired of the pattern. You half expect to fall asleep and wake up somewhere new again most nights. You wouldn’t know any better. A slip of a pill into some food and you’d wake up somewhere halfway across the world. 

You like to think they’d at least warn you beforehand. 

John pulls the car into a parking lot, parking near a line of trees. Johnny pulls into the parking lot behind John, parking near the entrance. It’s on purpose, you know that much. Everything is about safety and making things look as inconspicuous as possible. Anyone could be a rat. Anyone could be watching. 

It’s windier here as you step out of the car, even though you haven't gone far from the cottage. Walking distance, if you were up for a hike. You’re not. 

“Come on, kitten.” Johnny says, guiding you through the parking lot and towards a path. 

You still don’t know what’s happening as you follow them, Johnny holding your hand as you step onto the rocky path. He leads the way, the others following. John is behind you, hovering in case you slip in the gravel. You do your best not to, despite how quickly Johnny is leading you. He’s more eager than Kyle had been, and you’re sure he’d be running if you could keep up. 

You begin to figure out what’s happening as the sound of waves crashing on the shore gets louder and louder. Your chest starts to constrict with emotion as the trees start to get sparser and sparser, a cliff edge visible over Johnny’s shoulder. You want to run now, you want to break ahead and race your way to the edge of the cliff. Johnny, even in his excited state, would catch you before you could take off and potentially hurt yourself. 

You might hurt yourself just trying to run. 

You hate it. 

The land opens before you as you reach the edge of the cliff. The expanse of the sea seems daunting so close, grey and choppy from the wind. Salty air blasts you in the face, rustling your jacket as you stand there above a small beach. It’s empty, but that’s expected for the middle of fall. All the tourists have gone home, those with vacation homes back in better weather for the winter. 

You’re glad you’re alone. You wouldn’t want anyone else ruining this moment. 

Kyle’s fingers wrap around yours as you stand there, staring down at the beach below. “Come on.” 

The gravel turns to dirt as it winds down the side of the cliff, getting steeper as you near the beach. You do nearly slip as you follow Johnny down to the sand, your boots quickly getting muddy. You’re glad for them, understanding why John chose boots over more comfortable shoes. 

You pause as your feet sink into sand. You stare out at the water, at the white crests of waves crashing onto the shore. It’s real. It’s not just some mirage, some painting in the background of your life. It’s really here. You’re really here. 

No one says anything as you take a few steps forward before squatting down. You scoop up a handful of sand, letting it slip through your fingers. It’s coarse against your cold skin, thicker and rockier than the sand you’re used to, but it’s still sand. It’s still a beach. 

You’re at the beach. 

You scoop up another handful of sand, letting it run through your fingers again. You want to put some of it in a jar and set it on the nightstand at the cottage. You want to stare at it and remind yourself you’re really at the coast, you’re really just a short drive away from the sea. You want the sand to sink into your skin and flow through your veins and fill every crack that’s formed in your mind.  

You’re really here. 

You stand up straight, staring out at the water again. Your pack is still behind you, silently watching you. You shuffle forward a couple steps, waiting for one of them to stop you, to grab you and keep you from getting closer, but none of them move. You widen your steps, treading through the soft sand until you reach the edge of the wetter sand where the water was earlier. It’s easier to walk on as you continue to approach the water, the sound of your pack treading through the soft sand disappearing behind you as you get closer and closer to the water. The waves flow up the beach, your feet getting closer and closer to where that water stops. 

You half expect them to stop you as you step forward, letting the waves hit your feet. The salty water washes away the mud and sand clinging to your rubber boots, rushing up over the tops of your feet. You stare down at the water, watching it surge upward and around your ankles. You’d keep walking if you were brave enough, let it get higher and higher until it soaked your clothes, but you know they’d stop you. It’s far too cold to risk getting wet. You can feel the chill of the water through your boots as it flows over your feet. 

You’re not sure how long you stand there, watching the water rush back and forth, feeling the pressure of it against your boots as you stand in the waves. You’re really here. You’re really standing in the sea. 

You finally turn after what seems like an eternity, making your way back up to the softer sand. All of them are standing in a line, watching you. You wonder what’s going through their heads, what they feel standing here. Relief? Happiness? Guilt? Shame? The wind whips at your back, coming right off the water, blowing their scents away from you. What you wouldn’t give to be able to smell them right now. 

Tears burn your eyes as you make your way up towards John, trudging through the sand. His cheeks and nose are pink from the cold wind, his beard longer than you’ve ever seen it. You don’t remember the last time you’ve really looked at him up close. His gaze is uncertain as he stares down at you, trying to gauge your next move. He can’t. You know he can’t and it makes you feel powerful. 

It shouldn’t, but it does. 

“Thank you.” You say finally, a tear sliding down your cheek. “Thank you.” 

You can hear them. They don’t know it, but you can. They think they’re speaking quietly, but in the silence of the morning, you can hear almost every word. Dr. Keller’s protests, John's quiet insistence. 

Leaving. 

That’s the word that caught your attention. Leaving. Someone is leaving. Someone is separating themselves from the pack again, and not just for a trip to town to go to the store. This meaning is different, it hangs differently in the air. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea right now.” Dr. Keller says, her voice just barely audible through the open sliding glass door. It’s open just a crack, just enough to hear what’s transpiring inside. 

“We won’t have another chance.” John says, his voice insistent. “We have to do this. She deserves it.” 

She. You. Whatever it is, it involves you. It always does. You can’t remember a time over the last few weeks when it hasn’t been about you. It’s always about you and you hate it. You almost wish things would go back to the way they were before, when you were a second thought, the one left behind.

You’re going to be left behind again. 

“John-” 

“I know.” John’s voice is louder again. “We have to do what’s best for our pack, and right now this is it.” 

The sliding door opens, the conversation over. Your stomach is churning, nausea eating its way up your esophagus as John crosses the deck towards where you’re seated. His steps are slow and quiet, almost like he’s approaching a wild animal. He might be, depending on how this conversation is going to go. 

How are you going to react? You expected it eventually. They’ll always leave, they’ll always put you last and think about themselves first. Are you upset? Are you angry? Is it a relief? 

You wish you could feel something right now. Instead you feel numb. Another promise broken, another lie told. 

“You’re leaving again.” You say, staring out at the horizon as John takes a seat next to you. You need to get it out first, say what you know before he can say it and break your heart again. 

He lets out a quiet sigh, leaning back in the chair. “We are, but you’re coming with us.” 

You turn to glance at him, taken aback by his words. You’re leaving too? You hadn’t considered this. The cottage is your prison. You are Rapunzel trapped by the Mother Gothel that is your pack, stuck in the tower for the rest of time. 

Leaving? 

“There’s something we need to take care of back in the states.” John explains. “You’re coming with us.” 

Back in the states? What could possibly be there that is left for you, for your pack? 

You don’t like the sound of that. You don’t like the sound of that one bit. 

To be notified about new chapters, please follow HERE and turn on notifications

[beautifullilacsky]

Babygirl. We have come so far.

Today, your thoughts turned around to the past. They shook hands with the way we used to treat ourselves. It started off on a note I'd never expect it to start off of, though; look at that picture of me, the one in the natural pool in Madeira. The first time I looked at it, I was truly surprised and shooketh. "Damn, I look thin", as to which niklas said that that's how I always look, I am, in fact, thin. I didn't count, but I think I asked him at least 3 times. "Do I truly look like this?" He did say that the angle might be making me look extra thin, but yes. Suddenly, it all clicked. How to him, I can seem so fragile. So fragile that he'd always let me walk first on hikes to make sure the pace is okay, always carrying the backpack himself. The way he is scared of hurting me, like, physically. The picture looks like a tiny, thin, and fragile girl. Yeah tbh, she also doesn't look particularly strong. You can see her collarbones. Her ribs. Her shoulders. Tbh, she also looks a bit like a petshop. I do think the gopro did something with the angle there, u can't tell me my head is out of proportion to my tiny body, lol. My point is. Today, I was doubting whether or not I should eat those cookies. After thinking if it'd make me thick, I remembered. I am v thin, more weight wouldn't be so bad.

I never expected to truly feel skinny. Or well, 'too skinny', at least. To think I could gain some weight; it wouldn't be a problem. That is very new to me. After 25 years. Some of those years being spend hating my body and my belly and feeling overweight, even if my teacher even told me that being underweight is dangerous, her eyes seemingly insinuating the obvious.

Yet here I am. This one picture. And tbh, the other pics or videos of this vacation, don't have the same vibe. So I do think it's the angle. And maybe a bit of a fishbowl effect. Either way. It got me thinking. And suddenly I was thinking of it again: boobs. I am also reading 'the 7 husband's of Evelyn Hugo', who seduced men with her big boobs. Somehow, booby enlargement came to my mind again. Why? It's been so long. I have learned to love my boobs, yet this blast of the past came into my head. Actually,.. it is just a thought. It is actually nice. A reminder of where we came from.

How I hated my body in the past. And here I am. Loving every single part of it. Frankly, I love my boobs the way they are. Sure, they might not be super big, but I don't need to hold them when I run or sprint down the stairs. Sure, they are soft in the middle instead of pointy, but I think it's fascinating how certain temperatures, moods and touches can change that. Sure, they don't touch, but at least it also won't create a hot brew in there or trap my clothes inbetween or underneath my boobs. Honestly, they are truly perfect. (Even the little pimple on there right now. Even though I am a bit scared; is it truly a pimple? It should be, it behaves like one for sure.) I can cup one into my hand; it is a perfect fit. As if they were made to be held so gently and smoothly. So filled with love. So, ... true. My hand can touch all of its beautiful creases. They don't overflow my hands, nor do I need to search to find them. Sure, some might have bigger boobs, but not everyone likes that. Some people get attention just because of it. I am truly happy to be able to say that a lot of people just like me for my personality. The looks are for sure also there, but at least my boobs don't get eye-fucked or objectified. I am myself. Perfect the way I am. And I am grateful to be this exact way. I think my boobs are adorable, they are cute, and truly. Truly beautiful. Thanks boobs, for being w me always. And I'm sorry that I didn't see the beauty of you guys for a part of my life. I am happy that I do now, since a while. Love u, boobies. Lol.

Anyhow. I wish to send myself love letters. See this is a loveletter to one of the bodyparts which I was insecure about in the past. Let me show them some true love, which is exactly what they deserve.

[pitchsidestories]

wouldn't change a thing II Ona Batlle x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1415

a/n: dear readers, we hope you'll enjoy the oneshot which is inspired by this lovely request here. 💗💗

Being relatively tall for a woman had its advantages, you had to admit. Especially when you played for Barcelona and their dressing room wasn’t designed for the average female body height.

In contrast to your several inches shorter girlfriend, you could reach all the shelves with ease.

But you and Ona had established a routine by now. After every training, she would wait for you to hand her the towels, so she didn’t have to climb up on the bench to reach them.

You had decided that the injury risk was way too high and offered to do it for her. Your height had to be good for something.

As usual, you also handed her the towels after todays’ training as well: “Here you go.“

“Thank you.“, Ona smiled and pushed herself against you for a hug.

“You’re welcome.“, you replied as you held her close to you.

You pressed a quick kiss to her temple as she was the perfect height for it and brushed a few stray hair from her forehead.

Mapi giggled from the other side of the dressing room: “You’re too tall for your girlfriend, y/n!”

You grimaced at the defender: “If that’s the case, then Ingrid is too tall for you too.“

“I can reach my own stuff.“, Mapi shrugged.

“So can I but sometimes it’s just easier that way.“, Ona replied unimpressed and threw the towel over her shoulder.

Alexia joined the conversation, a sly smirk on her face: “Oh please, everyone knows that Ona loves the princess treatment.“

“She can’t get enough of it.“, Aitana agreed with a laugh.

Ona rolled her eyes, way too used to their teasing: “Guys.“

“Yeah, it’s not that funny.“, you sided with your girlfriend.

Mapi shook her head, still grinning: “I think it is.“

You sighed: “Of course you do.“

You knew what was coming. As soon as one started, the others would join immediately. It was some kind of weird Barcelona Femeni love language. You quietly braced yourself for the bad jokes that would inevitably be coming.

“Are you even allowed to wear heels when you go out with Ona?”, Cata asked. She was already wheezing about her own joke.

“You’re definitely more likely to see me in heels than Oni.“, you smiled back at her. Ona loved her sneakers, you loved a good pair of heels, height difference or not.

Cata continued: “Poor Ona is even smaller then. But at least you two don’t bump heads when you go dancing.“

“But I always find her in any crowd.“, Ona shrugged, winking at you.

“And Ona is the perfect height for hugs.“, Fridolina chimed in, sounding more delighted than taunting.

“She is.“, you confirmed.

“So cute with your matching opposite aesthetics.”, Salma commented with a huge smirk on her lips.

“Salma don’t.”, Mapi warned, clearly fearing the tall forward would stop the banter with her observation.

“Why?  It’s very opposite.”, she chuckled.

Meanwhile, you turned around to face your girlfriend. “Are you ready to go, Oni?”

No words were needed for her to answer the question, she simply jumped on to your back grinning.

While you made sure she was positioned safely, the brunette murmured into your ear. The smile carried through the voice. “Ready.”

Both of you said your goodbye to your teammates, when you were almost at the door Vicky yelled smiling. “Bye, princess.”

“They’re such idiots.”, Ona sighed.

“I love them though despite the teasing.”, you admitted.

“Yeah, me too. It’s a normal height difference though, they’re just annoying.”, she said.

You nodded in agreement. “True.”

“Let’s just go home.”, the defender suggested in a longing tone, nothing sounded better in her ears than having a good dinner and afterwards being cozy on the sofa with her dog and you.

Noticing the dreamy look in your girlfriends’ eyes you decided. “Yes, please. I’ll drive, you already look a bit sleepy.”

“Okay. Fine, I won’t complain.”, Ona answered.

“Good.”

The two of you got into your shared car while the fellow football player started the music playlist, she couldn’t help but to tease you. “Even though you drive horrible.”

“Excuse me? Your fast driving isn’t better.”, you protested laughing.

“I drive well.”, the defender countered.

“Do I’ve to remind you of-“, you begun.

“I’m quiet.”, Ona interrupted you softly. 

Fast forward and it was the night of the Ballon d’Or.

Sadly, not many of the female players could attend the event because it was set during the national team break, but a few of your club teammates and you were able to.

On the other hand, the gala wasn’t known in its history to be this supportive of women footballers in general.

Surrounded by the nominated female players you put on your high heels who gave you the needed confidence boost and calmed your nerves for the moment.

“You look gorgeous.”, Ona whispered admiringly, tiptoeing to place a heartfelt kiss to your lips.

“So do you.”, you told her and meant every word, your girlfriend wore her beautiful long wavy hair open, only slight make up, so her natural beauty shone through even more and the defender was in an outfit she felt comfortable in.

“Naw.”, Aitana remarked.

Impatiently Caroline threw in. “Can you two love birds hurry up now?”

“We’re good to go.”, you assured the Norwegian.

“Finally.”, Alexia noted happily.

“Come on, we can’t be late.”, Aitana reminded everyone urgently.

“Coming.”, you tried to soothe the small midfielder.

As you followed her, Ona interlaced her fingers with yours and whispered: “Don’t let go of my hand.“

“I won’t. Nervous?”, you quietly asked.

She shook her head: “Not at all.“

“Me neither. It’s between Caro and Aitana.“

“We’ll see.“, she replied earnestly which caused you to pause and raise your eyebrow at her.

“What? They’re simply the best, Ona?”

She turned back to you with a frown: “I didn’t say that they are not.“

“You would have deserved a nomination too.“

She shrugged nonchalantly: “I don’t care about this award to be honest. Defenders usually don’t win.“

“It’s not fair.“, you complained on her behalf.

“It’s fine.“, she assured you.

You pulled her in for a hug. First you wanted to press a kiss to her forehead but remembering your lipstick, you thought better of it: “You’re still the best.“

She chuckled lightly, brown eyes shining brightly as she looked up at you: “You’re too sweet.“

“Girls, time to pose together. And stop that teeth rotting sweet talk!”, Alexia called over to them, right before she stepped on the red carpet.

“We’re not doing anything.“, Ona blinked innocently while the two of you joined the group standing in front of the photographers.

“Lies.“, Caroline said through her teeth.

“Just smile for the camera.“, Aitana ordered.

You did as you were told, before taking your seats at the ceremony. You politely applauded for every winner and cheered whenever your teammates were onstage but with every passing hour you could feel Ona getting more impatient.

“Glad we’re done with this.“, she jokingly sighed as the ceremony ended and people moved on to the afterparty.

“Sounds like someone wants to go home.“, you grinned.

Nodding, Ona bit her lip: “Yes, my girlfriend looks so hot and I really don’t feel like sharing tonight.“

“Oh, you don’t?“, you teased but just like her, you didn’t mind skipping the party and go straight back to your hotel room.

“No.“

Hand in hand, you snuck out of the building and hailed the next cab. You scrolled through several social media posts of the Ballon d’Or on the drive back. Of course, you couldn’t help but check the comments too and they were exactly what you expected.

You chuckled softly: “They write so much bullshit, amor.“

“Let me see.“, Ona demanded as she scooted closer to have a look at your phone screen.

“They’re still commenting about our height difference.“, you grinned. “Seems to bother them a lot more than us.“

“Right? Let them keep talking, I don’t care.“, Ona laughed and leaned over to kiss you.

The cab stopped in front of your hotel. You could barely wait to go inside.

A few years ago, comments like these would have plunged you into self-doubt, wishing you were a few inches shorter. But not since Ona came into your life.

With Ona you felt confident and desired, not despite but because of your height. They could say what they wanted, all you could see in those photos was a couple that matched each other perfectly.

gif source: https://www.tumblr.com/batlleonafc/748573331298697216/her-smile-lights-up-every-room?source=share

[arcanarix]

Make That Double, Ch8 - Yan!SatoSugu x Fem!Reader [AO3]

Word Count: ~7K

Warnings: non-con, exhibitionism, double penetration (in one hole and in both), mommy kink (geto calls you mamma), sex toys like dildos and nipple clamps mentioned

For more reasons you can’t wrap your head around, Geto has become far, far kinder to you.

And you know what that means.

You can’t fuck this up again.

Yes, while men can be easy to manipulate… Geto seems to be smarter than you give him credit for, as well. That’s YOUR mistake. You realize that, and now you have to conjure a new way out but that doesn’t mean you can’t poke and prod at what seems to be a shaky foundation between Gojo and Geto. You can still play it up to your advantage. It’s gotten you out of some high-time embarrassing scenarios, like the other night when Gojo wanted to test out a pair of nipple clamps he’s found while online shopping. One glance at your horrified expression and Geto refuses to entertain the possibility, even after Gojo profusely begged him to let him try it out.

“We can try it on you, Satoru,” Geto offers with a hum. Geto settles the argument with that when Gojo seems more than pleased by the idea. Tweedledum glances at you with that irritating smirk on his face as he waves the package of nipple clamps over your face.

“Just let Princess take the wheel from here, Suguru~! But then you have to let me put them on her!”

That may have been the first time the two of them allow you agency.

Well, not the only time.

When it’s just you and Geto, he doesn’t initiate all that much. Instead, he seems to allow you a bit more room to breathe after any sessions with Tweedledum there. You can’t call sweet, because that’s one word you can’t use to describe either of those two men, but it’s…considerate enough.

It’s still not enough to sway you into a certain direction, though. Because for as much as Geto insists he doesn’t expect you to return his affections, he’s let down each time you don’t acknowledge his own perceived ‘selfless’ acts.

Again, many definitions seem to have changed over the years. Apparently ‘principled’ means not killing off people without a reason (and by people, he really means young sorcerers, non-sorcerers are ‘free for alls’). ‘Selflessness’ means not forcing himself upon you when you decline his advances, and you have made a point to decline each and every one of them if he gives you the ‘illusion of choice.’

Which, again, isn’t an illusion this time around. He really does keep his hands to himself now.

More than Gojo does, at least, which is…good enough.

On your way back to the bedroom for another agonizing evening to spend with your ‘new beau,’ you stumble across a note with a bouquet of freshly picked roses resting on the foot of the bed. Your brows knit together as you pick up the note, reading its contents.

‘Meet me out in the back. We’ll have a picnic. Just us.

-Geto, S.’

You have half a mind to rip it to shreds, but you remind yourself you can’t screw this shit up again. You have to play along.

Groaning to yourself, you slip back on your robe and step back out of the room, meeting Geto in the extravagant, botanical gardens his servants maintain to perfection. If not for the circumstances, you may have taken the time to admire the beauty and the effort put into keeping up the temple’s pristine appearances.

But this temple isn’t a paradise for you. It’s your chamber of sheer torment.

You find him near the smaller, stone koi pond and fountain, where he’s rested his picnic blanket and basket. Upon sensing your presence, he glances up and smiles at you, patting the vacant spot next to him.

You don’t say a word as you accept his invitation. This is better than everything else he’s forced you into, and you keep reminding yourself not to fuck this up like a mantra.

“I figured you wanted to get some fresh air after some time,” Geto states as he sets the utensils and plates onto the blanket. You glance over at the contents of the basket—you catch some sweets from a bakery the twins like to go to nearby. Some finger sandwiches and other interesting food items you haven’t tried before. He’s even picked up some of your usual orders, perhaps for good measure.

This can’t be good news.

“That’s nice of you, Suguru,” you reply, attempting a smile as he hands you a plate.

“Did you have a good time with the twins?” he asks, tilting his head as a fond smile plays on his lips. You’re taken aback, stumbling over your answer as he places some food items onto your plate before helping himself.

“We had a great time,” you answer, “Mimiko and Nanako can’t seem to agree on a theme for their Animal Crossing home, ,though. They kept trying to get me to gang up on the other. It’s kind of adorable.”

Geto rolls his eyes at the mention of Animal Crossing.

“They probably should have gotten their own copy instead of one,” Geto murmurs, “that would have settled some issues, but I thought it was a waste of money. I can’t remember how much money Satoru wasted on Digimon games, and I don’t want them to become ungrateful for how much money I spend on them for such a dull hobby.”

“It’s not that dull,” you laugh like it’s a nervous tick for you, at this point. “Video games are a great way for a family to bond. That’s how my family and I did.”

Why are you even trying to have small talk with him?

It feels so…weird. Like there’s this barrier. You feel like you’re trying to reach some untouchable deity when you speak to him. And in some ways that’s not all that far off. Your worlds are so different from each other.

“You never talk about them,” he remarks, “Your family.”

“Oh. Well, it’s just me now. My parents died when I was a teenager and I was an only child. I don’t really know about any other family,” you shrug, nibbling mindlessly on the finger sandwich. “But I do miss them all the time. My dad was the biggest Mario nerd, so we played all of those classic games together.”

“What was your mother like?” he asks, eyes twinkling in curiosity as he inches closer to you.

“She was like any other mom I guess,” you say, “She was a lot softer though. Like, not as strict as some of my friend’s moms…”

“I see,” he hums, “I never had a close relationship with my parents. As you can imagine, I was born into a family who didn’t have sorcerers. They didn’t try to understand what was happening to me.”

That’s kind of sad…

“You’re making quite an effort for the twins to have a normal family.”

Yeah. Yet another definition which has changed…

“My girls deserve everything I never had,” Geto replies, smiling. “I can’t change my or their past, but we have a future to look forward to together.”

Maybe in another world, you may have found this truly admirable.

But this isn’t that world.

“How’s the food?” he asks quickly to change the subject, and perhaps to alleviate the tension growing between you both.

You glance at the crumbs in your hand.

“Good,” you murmur, “Fantastic. Like gourmet.”

Geto’s smile widens.

“I had the chefs prepare it special,” he explains, “But while I was out with the girls I picked up some of your orders. So help yourself.”

He gestures to all of the items laid out on the blanket.

“Of course,” you reply finally, ignoring the twist in your gut. “Thank you.”

Awkward, you muse to yourself, your lips forming a thine line.

“I really want you to be happy here,” Geto speaks up again.

Your head snaps up at that, eyes widening.

“Huh?”

A calloused hand rests on your cheek.

“It’s true,” he goes on, the hand sliding to your shoulder. He squeezes gently. Reassuringly. “While it’s best you don’t disobey me, I don’t want you to be afraid of me, either. You’re part of the family.”

What a joke. He should petition for the greatest comedian of the year if he actually expects this…

“That will take time,” you manage to bite out, your words sharper than intended but does he expect anything different? Does he honestly believe that you, after everything he has done to you, may accept this with open arms without a single complaint?

He must be out of his mind.

He pouts at that, retracting his hand (smart move, you were tempted to bite it off).

“I understand,” he sighs in defeat. For now. “It’s like I told you, I don’t need you to return my affections.” Liar. “Your cooperation is more necessary than that.”

“I know.”

He leans in to press a chaste kiss on your lips. Every time he does he tastes of fire and brimstone. Of toxins seeping deep into your skin, contaminating your body. You aren’t in love with him, and you never will be; that much you are certain. You have been dragged into this nonsense by some rotten stroke of luck, and yes, you can’t change the past, but you can see to the future.

And you don’t want a future with him.

“My little dove,” he purrs as he pulls slightly away, eyes half-mast as he takes in your features. “I wish you could let me in your world.”

There’s no chance for that.

“But I suppose I have to settle with this for now,” he continues, hovering his lips to the crook of your neck.

You flush, furtive eyes darting to either side. Out here in the open?

Why are you even surprised?

“Suguru,” you start, resting a hand on the back of his head. “Not now.”

“But no one will see,” he mutters into your skin, inhaling your scent. He smiles upon recognizing something—notes of caramel and marshmallow and amber. “You used one of the perfumes I bought you.”

Well, yeah! Of course you do. No one likes to stink. And you don’t have many options here.

“Suguru please,” you try again, and Geto makes a sound, before retracting himself from you. He still hovers close while reaching for a pastry to present to you.

“Very well,” he concedes, cutting a piece of a strawberry crepe and bringing it to your lips. “We can settle on this.”

You open your mouth and let him feed you. The rush of strawberry filling overwhelms your taste buds, but you like this better than his lips on yours. But you speak too soon, his lips finding yours again as soon as you gulp down that bite. His tongue chases remnants of that lingering taste and he hums, pulling away with a little playful nip with his canines.

“You make these sweets tolerable,” he chuckles, darting his tongue between his lips to catch any remnants of your taste.

Nasty, you think, your face falling at he sight. Ugh. Maybe it helps a little that he’s objectively gorgeous, but since he’s the kind of man he is, you can’t give him the satisfaction of even entertaining the idea that he’s objectively attractive. You try to ignore the way your heart kind of flutters whenever he glances at you with those little jewels of amethyst for eyes or whenever he draws near you to steal a kiss. It’s only because objectively, yeah, he’s attractive. That makes this a bit more bearable. Nothing more than that, right?

This is kind of pissing you off a little… what the HELL is going on in your head now? What kind of bullshit is it trying to spew at you!? Have you lost your goddamn mind?

“I need more, Mamma,” he drawls, as he sets aside the plate, digging his fingers into either side of your waist.

“Suguru…” you whimper, as his face draws close to yours and you try to crawl away. That’s asking for a death penalty here but you can’t help it. “Not out here.”

“I’ve been patient with you, Mamma. Let me touch. Satoru’s been getting all the fun, and you know how I feel about that. We came to an understanding about that, did we not?” he trails kisses down your neck and across your collarbone, and your fists clench tightly, resting on your knees.

“Ah-hem, Geto,” Suda’s voice interrupts and saves you from certain torture. She approaches the both of you, clipboard in her arms as she focuses more on the text on the page rather than what’s transpiring in front of her. Perhaps she’s witnessed more than she wanted to. “I hate to disrupt your private time, but your presence is needed. We have acquired the scammer who tried to keep money from you.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, my dear,” he sighs as he pulls away, rising to his feet. “Duty calls, but we can continue this later.” He turns to his secretary. “Suda, you can remain with her until I return.”

“Yes, Geto,” she replies, straightening her posture as he brushes past her with a displeased look on his face. Nothing grinds his gears more than conman, speaking as if he isn’t a conman himself.

He’s such a fucking hypocrite; you’ve definitely noticed.

When it looks like Geto is gone, you glance up at Suda with curiosity twinkling in your eyes—and a touch of wariness as you feel with the rest of Geto’s goons. Her wavy pink hair cascades around her heart-shaped face and her dark green eyes stun you, resembling little jewels. She stands tall and proud like a runway model, and can probably give one a run for their entire career and salary if she ever decides to go that route. You can’t help but admire another woman’s beauty—even if she probably wants nothing to do with you like everyone else around here seems to. They seem to share similar ideas when it comes to non-sorcerers: they’re scum and are better off eradicated.

She huffs, scrunching her nose in distaste as she finally addresses the likes of you. “I don’t understand what Geto’s doing with you, but as much as I don’t like it, I’m here to help a sister.”

Your ears perk up at that. That’s something you don’t expect, but it’s a welcome surprise, indeed.

“Men abusing their power over us is nothing new,” Suda remarks in a rather snide tone, but you expect nothing less when it comes to such subject matter. And of course Geto is involved. “I’d have liked to believe Geto was different in at least that regard.”

It’s a sad, but cold, hard, truth: men may swing their swords around and pound their chest like gigantic gorillas, but in reality, they’re as frail, weak, and vulnerable as chimps out in the wild. Geto isn’t removed from this fact; neither is Gojo. Neither is any other sorcerer who happens to have male anatomy.

In the end, it’s their most fatal flaw.

At least Suda understands that as well as you do.

“Why work for him, then?” you ask, your curiosity piqued.

She shrugs, staring off into the distance. “Good living, I guess. Better than the dump I came from where guys would harass me all the time. He doesn’t come near me. Not like that. Just expects me to organize this circus of his.”

She gestures to the general area of the temple. Well, she’s not entirely wrong in that department—it’s decent living. Never mind the fact that her boss is a raging lunatic which apparently she’s more than aware of herself.

You tilt your head, processing the newfound information like it’s a software update. Interesting.

So even Geto’s goons know he’s not all that, either? Then what the hell are people doing here, other than for the good pay? Just for the shits and giggles? Maybe there’s got to be some other things they might benefit from in aiding a maniac like him…

“And I guess some things, I owe to Geto,” she finishes while adjusting flyaways in her hair after a gush of wind rushes by. Ah. There it is—a sense of obligation then. “But this can be between us. Even if you’re not like me, you’re still a woman.”

She doesn’t need to finish that statement. You fill in the blanks yourself. Women protect other women, and that’s that.

Even if Suda is ultimately loyal to Geto and whatever this vision of his is—it still doesn’t really add up to you, but then again, as Geto and Gojo love to preach to you, these are matters far above your scope of understanding.

“Thank you,” you murmur as a little smile plays on your lips. This is the most hopeful you’ve been since this whole thing went down, and knowing someone has your back is good enough for you for that very moment.

“Besides,” she adds, resting her clenched fists on her hips. “You being here just isn’t right, anyway. Whatever Geto wants with you, it’s for his personal gain, ultimately. I probably shouldn’t question him, but he does make a lot of questionable choices.”

Your mind flashes to when Miguel tells you something similar.

You flash her another smile. She manages a small one herself before her mask comes back full force. She strolls over to one of the benches and takes a seat, crossing one leg over the other as you both wait for Geto to return. This time, the silence is a little comforting. You fiddle with some of the remaining food on your plate, finally feeling some semblance of relief wash over you because maybe, maybe, you have fnially found your ticket out of there.

Geto finally returns, moments later, that displeased look still etched on his face as he tuts at the current situation to Suda.

“Rich men can be so foul,” he scoffs, shaking his head. “Not including certain people, of course.”

You know who he means.

“What did you do with him, Master Geto?” Suda dares to ask as she rises to her feet, hugging her clipboard to her chest as she maintains an air of a professional secretary. She can flip that on and off; it reminds you much of yourself when you were still working at that bakery that had since gone out of business for obvious reasons. All workers and customers mysteriously dead, you going missing as a result. You are also presumed dead or missing to the public. That can’t look good for someone’s business if they want it to skyrocket.

“I let his curse do away with him,” he answers smoothly with a dismissive wave of his hand over his head. “If that’s all, Suda, I’d like to be alone with her now.”

Suda gives a curt nod before twisting on her heel and sauntering off. Thus far, Geto has no suspicions with you or her, but you stay on your guard nevertheless. Geto always has something up his sleeve.

Once you’re left alone with him, Geto glances down at you with a mysterious smile. You ignore the fear pricking at your insides like toxic barbs. Your hand rests on your stomach as you will yourself to relax. You have backup. You have an ally. That should have you rejoicing and dancing in glee but instead you’re still coiling every time Geto so much as glances at you?

Yet you can’t find yourself faulting yourself for that either. The man is goddamn terrifying in his own right, and he has full control over you.

But not for much longer. You just need to hold on, for just a little longer. You have already settled on having to play the long game here. Don’t get discouraged.

“Now with that interruption out of the way…” He returns to his spot next to you. “Where were we?”

“Watching the sunset,” you reply as he tries to inch himself closer to you.

Fight back. Any way you can. You remind yourself. You force down any and all emotions combating against each other in your head. They quiet down the moment you try. You try to imagine something more peaceful and serene than something like this—anything else sounds good right then. A nice trip to Paris, far away from a country where Geto and Gojo resides, enjoying a baguette and hot chocolate while someone serenades you with a violin performance.

Anything is better than this. Anything. You can’t believe how your life has gotten to this point.

Frowning, Geto glances up at the sky. The sun has just begun to set, just a blinding, shining gold glob amid a pink and blue sky.

“It is a lovely sight,” he muses, before his gaze flits back to you. “But nothing beats the sight I have right here, beside me. You truly are a work of art, my dear.”

Ah. More pretty lies. That seems to come as natural as breathing to him.

You know better than to fall for anything he says or does. They never align.

The picnic continues in a tense silence. You do appreciate the pastries he picked up for you, helping yourself to that brookie you’ve been eying for a while. Geto just watches you, content just being next to you. He doesn’t try to touch you again, which you thank the stars above for, but that’s going to be short-lived the moment you go back to the bedroom with him. He can’t control himself for all that long.

After the sun fully sets beyond the horizon, Geto gathers the items and retires with you back to bed. Instead of his servants attending to you in the restroom, he decided to take their place, preparing the shower while attending to his own business. He ties his hair long, flowy hair up in a bun as he changes into a pair of silk indigo pajamas.

You slip out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your frame and he approaches you with a bottle of lotion.

“May I?” he requests with that same, dangerous smile that you know it best not to anger.

You’re not allowed to refuse.

You settle onto the edge of the tub connecting to the shower, removing your towel and allowing it to slip to the marble tiled floor. Geto starts massaging the lotion into your shoulders, slowly and softly moving down your back.

“Soft,” he praises in a little whisper, pinching a little area. You wince.

“Am I doing a good job, Mamma?” he purrs into your ear as he moves to your arms and to your breasts and stomach.

“Yes, darling, you’re doing so good, taking care of me.”

Such lies feel like toxic barbs piercing your skin.

“Does that mean I get a reward?” he asks, swirling his tongue around a nipple. Your breath hitches.

“No,” you bite your lip, grimacing at what you’re about to say next: “Good boys are supposed to do what they’re told.”

“Then what else must I do, Mamma?”

He flicks the tip of his tongue around the stiff bud, making your throat tighten. Your hands grip the edge of the tub. His hands snake up your meaty inner thighs as they stretch apart, his palms resting just before your intimates. Slender, calloused fingers brush against your skin, inching closer and closer to your nethers where he has already lubed up. Two fingers tease your outer lips, pressing them together and from the corner of your eye you see his toothy, pleased smirk as he pries your lower lips apart. The cold air hits your sensitive skin and you hiss, tightening your grip on the edge of the tub until your knuckled whiten. Your legs begin to tremble, and he gasps in delight, falling to his knees on the ground and marveling at the sight of your flushed pussy glistening in a light coat of your arousal.

He licks his lips, leaving his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth as a finger easily slides into your entrance. A shaky gasp leaves your parted lips.

His finger sucks itself inside your pussy up to its knuckle. He coos as you wriggle a bit in your place.

“Shall we take this somewhere else more comfortable, Mamma?” he grunts, dipping another finger inside with a purr. “Let me get you to come once and then we can take it back to the bedroom.”

He steadies you, using his free arm snaking around your waist as he picks up a faster pace. Gentle pumps but his speed picks up each time. He groans at the feeling of your walls closing around his fingers, desperate to suck him in further, and you clench your teeth, failing to conceal your desperate whines and gasps as you can feel something inside rising, rising, rising…

“Come for me, Mamma,” he grunts, “Aren’t I being so good for you? I can always be this good. I want my Mamma to be happy with me.”

Your orgasm comes like a tight thunder clap, seeing setars behind your eyes, and you gasp out, panting as your body comes down from that high. He lets out a satisfied, arrogant little huff at his handiwork before scooping up your naked form into his arms, carrying you back to the bedroom and resting you on the plush mattress.

“Good,” he praises with a low, sultry purr as he gazes at you with that smoldering look in his eyes. His violet eyes glint with mischief and ulterior motives as he pries your legs apart, keeping them spread for him as his fingers toy with your soaked, flushed folds. “So good for me, Mamma. I just want to make you feel good.”

You shut your eyes, wishing this would end but it doesn’t seem like the torment ever does for you anymore. The minute you feel his lips kiss up either of your thighs and it’s over. He takes and takes and takes; it doesn’t matter.

You just need to hold on. Just for a little longer.

Just hold on for a little longer.

In the following few days, Geto tries to be a little more considerate of your needs. You know it’s not going to last long like all of the other times he let his desires take over, but you still are going to take advantage of the time he allows you to breathe. You’re found in the common room with the twins as they engage in a handful of classic board games. It’s a rainy day and they find they’ve grown tired of video games and want to give themselves a little detox from electronics (apart from some special condition for Nanako, which you’re a little confused about). Geto is more than happy to entertain this and watches with fondness in his eyes as Nanako bests Mimiko in another Chess match.

You are seated on the couch next to him, observing the sight yourself. You don’t have much to do in these situations—you have tired the magazines stacked under the low coffee table, and you haven’t the attention span to try out one of Geto’s long-spanning epic fantasy series. You’re running out of things that might stimulate your mind for the better, and you don’t like the sound of it. There’s only so much you can do in a situation where much of your agency has been taken away from you.

You have come to realize the longer you’re here the more time no longer matters. All that matters is just trying to find that opening, which you already have some semblance of when Suda dropped that bomb on you the other day. You just have to find another opening.

Geto calls your name and you’re ripped out of your thoughts. Somewhere you’d rather be than in the present moment.

“Mimiko was asking if you wanted to play a round of Chess with her,” he tells you, “You look a little bored.”

Yeah. Painfully, you think to yourself. It does kind of get old being your sex doll when it’s just us and then some weird nanny for your girls.

“I can’t guarantee I’ll be a challenging opponent, but sure,” you reply as you take a seat by Nanako, who peers at you with a gleeful smile on her face.

“I can always sneak ya a few hints,” she giggles, “Mimiko kind of sucks at Chess anyway…”

“Nanako, that’s rude,” Mimiko chides, her face etching an expression of irritation that oddly mirrors Geto’s. Guess they do pick up a bit after their adoptive father…

“Sorryyyyy but you know I’m right!” Nanako quips while clapping excitedly. Mimiko rolls her eyes as she resets the Chess board for a new game. You can’t help the little smile on your lips while watching the interaction.

Oh, they’re definitely sisters.

Geto has no problem watching over the three of you as you entertain them with a few rounds of Chess. The first time you play against Mimiko, you lose, more on purpose because you realize you remember how to play the game better than you thought. Then you alternate, going up against Nanako, who beats you fair and square. She is a natural at this game, for sure. Rinse, lather, repeat. You win some rounds (mostly against Mimiko). You lose a lot of rounds.

Getting back into classic board games does help alleviate the boredom a little. Afterward, Nanako and Mimiko switch to Jenga, a game you haven’t touched since your own childhood. It brings so many memories flooding back to you and suddenly you wonder why all of your dreams have been taken from you. As much as these girls deserve a functioning family, you want a functioning family of your own, not manufactured like this. Not when you have been taken away against your will. You try to silence these thoughts threatening to bubble forth, focusing on building the tower and not letting it topple over.

You shouldn’t let yourself topple over with your own raging thoughts, either.

“Mom?” Mimiko addresses you with a concerned look on her face.

You freeze. She…she really calls you that now, doesn’t she? How long has it been since you have been here now? You have lost track of time. After all, time here doesn’t matter for you. Not when you have gone through the same routine again and again and again. It’s madness.

“Yes, love?” you ask, trying to sound as motherly as you can because you can feel Geto’s cold stare searing into the back of your skull. You don’t want to anger him, and you don’t want to make them feel like they’re wrong in addressing you that way. It does feel wrong, to you, but that doesn’t matter. They don’t deserve to be in the middle of this.

“Are you happy with us?”

Your jaw drops for a moment but you close it immediately.

“What has you thinking about that?”

“We’re just wondering,” Nanako pipes in while nudging your shoulder. “You’ve been with us for over a year now! Crazy, right? So… does this mean you’re really going to stay with us? That you like Mr. Geto?”

“Do you like being here with us?” Mimiko adds onto the myriad of questions Nanako is bombarding you with and you don’t know how else to respond.

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” you lie with a smile. “I’m so happy to call you girls my daughters.”

“We love you, Mom,” Nanako says, pulling you in for a hug. Mimiko follows after.

“We love you,” Mimiko parrots.

“I love you both too.”

It’s another lie.

But one that won’t get you killed in the end.

The next time Satoru visits, they don’t go all that easy on you. As if they ever do regardless of what promises they spew out of their assholes for mouths.

Satoru’s handsy as usual, roughing up your breasts and biting everywhere on the sensitive skin and laughing every time you yelp or shriek from the sharpness of each bite. Geto wastes no time entering your pussy while Gojo explores every inch of your body, licking and kissing every area of exposed skin. Geto makes you come three timed before pulling himself out and disposing of that last condom while Gojo adjusts you, leading you to sit on his lap. You don’t even bother to try to wriggle or squirm because you’re no match for two grown men. Two grown men who possess abilities beyond your own comprehension. If you dare try, they may not hesitate to be meaner. Crueler.

“Ooooh, Princess, my pretty baby,” Tweedledum purrs into your ear. “You’re being so good today.”

Tweedledee behind you just hums as he approaches the two of you, vibrator in hand. “She knows we only want to take care of her, Satoru. She understands.”

This time, they still don’t insert both their dicks at once like they have entertained before, even teased and terrified you with before, but Satoru manages to squeeze a dildo alongside his cock while taking you in the ass and Geto rests a vibrator on your pussy at a moderate setting. It’s all to get you stretched out and perfect and ready to take them both in that damn hole or even in your pussy. Someday sometime soon but likely not today. They can’t stop thinking about it.

Even if Geto recognized your hesitation at first, he eventually caves to his own desires like he always does.

You cling onto Gojo’s shoulders, biting down hard on your lip because the stretch feels so wide with that mild burn yet it somehow doesn’t compare to the stretch you feel from Geto’s size by itself.

“Satoru,” you squawk like a bird and he just laughs, hand coming down to smack your ass before fondling one of those fatty cheeks of yours and making you whine again.

Geto pumps the dildo inside of you and Gojo pumps his cock in tandem. The vibrator on your pussy grinds against your clit and folds and you’re not sure you can take much more.

“Fuck, Suguru, she’s so tight,” he growls, low and guttural as he kisses into your neck, increasing his erratic pace and waiting for you to come so hard on his cock that your pussy splatters everywhere. His eyes roll back as he reclines his head onto the back of the couch; his grip around you tightens. Geto hasn’t stopped with his dextrous hands working both your dripping cunt and ass. Your juices splatter onto the ground and leave behind a large puddle beneath you. Geto slides the vibrator close to your entrance and you shout, your ass walls clenching around Gojo’s cock and the large pink dildo pumping inside you. It hurts, fuck it hurts, your head is spinning.

It’s too much. It’s too much. It’s too much. And they don’t care!

“You’re being so good for us, little dove,” Suguru purrs in approval. “Not making a fuss, letting us take care of you, because you know we’re only doing this so you can handle us, hm?”

“Y-yes,” you wheeze out, “I-I want to be good for you, Suguru…”

“Good,” he says as he switches off the vibrator. You’re relieved at first until he lines the tip of his protected cock to your entrance. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “Then you’re ready for us both now.”

He chuckles darkly as he slips the head into your entrance, and you hide your face into Satoru’s chest, panting heavily. Geto has enough of a conscience to remove the dildo moving alongside Gojo’s still fully rigid, stiff cock as he fucks into your ass again.

Geto kisses into your shoulder and moans.

“You’re taking me better and better each time,” he drawls, taking his thumb to draw circles around your stiff clit as he keeps a gentler pace than Satoru does when entering you. While he still doesn’t shy away from taking what he wants, he still finds it in him to be a little kinder. Just a little. If you can call any of this kind.

“Satoru,” he calls, bringing the dildo that was just in your ass to Satoru’s lips. He opens up willingly, allowing Geto to fuck it into his mouth and get remnants of your taste off of that piece of silicone. Your heart twists in disgust from the act. You shouldn’t even be surprised anymore but they do everything to get each other off with you.

Gojo slobbers over that dildo like he probably does over Geto’s cock whenever it’s just them. Some of it even splatters onto your shoulder and Geto is ‘considerate’ enough to swipe it off with his thumb. When it’s the three of you, it seems more like a competitive game between them—see who can make you come more times, see who can make you come faster, see who can make you beg or scream or cry for mercy, etc. They’re not as interested in getting all over each other (though they still do, doting on each other to the point it makes your whole body shudder, riling each other up in any way they can).

The two come practically in unison but they don’t stop until you find yourself coming two, three more times.

But apparently, the torture is not ending there today after they slip their spent cocks out of you.

“Those nipple clamps last time sure were fun,” Gojo suggests while smacking his lips at the thought. “Your nipples were so hard. So perky and perfect. Just like the rest of you.”

As if to rub salt in the wound, Gojo traces his finger around one of your nipples before pinching it, making your breath hitch. You’re too tired to try to fight them off; it’s not like you ever win anyway.

“Satoru, what did I say about picking on her?” Geto scolds but his tone sounds more amused than ever angry. But you know later those fits of jealousy or rage come out at the most random of moments, and though you have known better than to try to initiate anything with Gojo again, Geto can easily twist any situation in his favor if it means he can justify his punishments. However he chooses to exact them on you.

But he never really hurts you. Not really, no.

Geto always just finds a way to repurpose his cruelty.

Gojo huddles you close to him, flashing yhou that irritating grin of his you wish you could rip straight off his face but you can’t fight two grown men. You’re helpless in these settings. And you’re so tired of being helpless.

But that doesn’t mean you still can’t find other ways to bend and shape this all to your advantage, however small.

“Suguru,” you say, batting your eyelashes at him. “Need you.”

Satoru quirks an eyebrow at that. “What’s the matter, Princess? You tired of me?”

He can’t help but snuggle you closer into his bare chest and you drag out an impressed sigh. This is your chance; this is the only way you can get under their skin at all because you just have to remember their one fatal flaw.

“Satoru,” you murmur, “I thought you were nice. Suguru can be so much nicer than you.”

Satoru’s eyes flash at that and he almost looks pained by your rejection. “What? But baby…”

“You heard her, Satoru, so respect her wishes,” Suguru interjects with an icy stare as he scoops you up into his arms instead, casting a genuine smile at you, like he’s pleased with your submission. “She knows who best takes care of her. Don’t you think?”

You wish you could smirk yourself. No way are you ever going to truly submit to either of these pieces of shit.

Gojo scowls at his lover, before flashing a worried look at you. For some reason, he’s not buying this sudden shift, the sudden shift in preferences, but if he had half a working brain cell he’d understand that you favored neither.

“You can’t honestly expect me to believe Suguru’s actually been treating you better than I have, Princess,” he pouts while crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t we have something special, too?”

“Of course you both do,” Suguru interrupts again, then coos at you while you tuck your head into his shoulder with a faux look of love in your eyes. “But you remember the initial arrangement. She belongs to me, first and foremost, Satoru. All you are is part of the package.”

Gojo huffs at that. “Ugh, fine, you’re right about that, but come on, Princess, don’t you like me more?”

“I like you both just fine,” you mumble, “But right now Suguru’s being nice. You have been kind of mean lately Satoru.”

Suguru’s smile widens at that, nuzzling his face into yours before his lips smack against your cheek, and it’s an unsettling sight, indeed. You almost wonder if what you might encounter following this might be worse than if he decides to punish you for appearing to favor Satoru over him. The tension between the three of you builds with each passing second and you wonder if you should attempt to diffuse the situation but you have already dug your hole. You might as well keep digging until you find what you’re looking for.

Gojo lets out another petulant sound like the manchild he’s proven himself to be, far more so than Geto.

“I’m sorry about that, Princess. I’ll…I’ll work on it,” he replies, his lips still curled into that pathetic little pout as if he thinks that might do something for you.

However, it seems to for Geto, and that’s enough for you. Geto reaches over to Satoru and sympathetically pats him on the cheek.

“You promise to be a good boy next time you come back, Satoru, and she’ll warm up to you again,” he chucklse as he adjusts you in his arms. “You should probably head back now. Don’t you have to be in the countryside for your next mission?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, standing up and grabbing his clothes. He presses a kiss to the corner of Geto’s mouth. “Stop fucking hogging her.”

“I’m doing absolutely no such thing,” Geto counters with his lips quirking into a smirk.

Gojo only shakes his head as he disappears to clean himself up before leaving for that day. Geto mentions something in pasing about that mission likely lasting longer than usual, but you don’t really listen, shutting your eyes as Geto escorts you back to the main area of the temple.

[dalishious]

Veilguard Companion First Impressions

So, I’ve finally recruited all the companions for the Veilguard! And as such, I thought I’d share my initial thoughts on them each.

Please keep in mind that as the title says, these are just my first impressions. I am nowhere near finishing the game yet. My thoughts very well may change after getting to know the characters more as the story progresses. Also, please do not take any opinions you do not share as a personal attack against you.

Bellara

Bellara might be my #1 favourite.

I’ve seen some people just say Bellara is “a Merrill rip-off” but I don’t think that’s fair at all. If all it took was a few similarities to say a character is a rip-off of another character, than I can think of so many boring white cishet male characters who would be guilty of that. But heaven forbid we get more than one elven woman who is passionate about her people’s culture and history!

Frankly, I think Bellara is a breath of fresh air in terms of Dalish characters specifically. Finally, a Dalish elf who isn’t punished for being proudly Dalish by the narrative.

I also really appreciate that so much of her can be easily understood by her backstory, too. Like, her feelings of never being good enough is reflective of the very realistic grief she is experiencing.

Lucanis

If Bellara isn’t my #1 favourite, then Lucanis is. They really both dominate that spot neck in neck. I can’t decide if I want to put him in a jar and shake it to see what happens, or wrap him up tight in a quilt and give him some good coffee.

I’m just a sucker for Lucanis’s character archetype, is the thing. I love taking him out simply because he’s so much fun to have around. And in terms of companion arcs, his is the one I am most intrigued to see where it goes.

Taash

(While I haven’t personally gotten to Taash’s non-binary plot yet, I am aware Taash switches to they/them pronouns, so that’s what I’ll be using.)

The moment I met Taash felt my heart skip a beat. The only thing hotter than their appearance is their voice. I know BioWare probably left Taash out of a lot of the advertising because they wanted to keep Taash’s gender stuff a surprise, but oh my god, because of this I was taken by quite the surprise. And so far Taash seems to be the type to keep a hard outer shell to protect a much softer side, and that is yet another character archetype I really love.

Davrin

My initial gripe about Davrin’s writing being so exclusively about Assan rather than Davrin himself is slowly peeling away, I hope. While I still think its bullshit that you can welcome Assan into the Veilgaurd but not Davrin, at least I’ve finally gotten a few bits of dialogue to get to know more about him finally. I just want to keep this momentum! Because Davrin as a concept has so much potential, in my opinion, and what little bits I have gotten from him have captivated me. But I can’t tell yet if it’s intentionally part of his character that maybe he’s just a closed off person who takes a while to trust others, (a little like Taash?) Or if the writer just cared more about griffons than the actual guy. I’m really, really holding out hope for the former.

Emmrich

Emmrich is so much more charming than I expected, and I found him instantly endearing the moment we met him. I also really like that we’re finally hearing some different stances and insight on death and necromancy than we ever had before from a companion! It makes him feel so fresh and completely new!

Harding

I’ll be real with you: I was not anticipating caring about Harding so much. She was who I was originally least interested in, when the companion line-up was announced. But the direction they’re taking her in has me questioning so much about bigger lore questions.

Unfortunately, I still don’t see much in her except being a vessel for those bigger lore questions, though. Like, Harding as a person has me mildly curious at best.

Neve

I’m really sorry Neve fans, but I just find her really boring so far, in comparison to everyone else. She doesn’t have a lot going on, and what she does have going on, doesn’t really captivate me much. Maybe I was just hoping she’d have stronger stances on things than she does? I don’t know.

It could be that I just really fucked up with Neve, and it won’t be until another playthrough that I’ll get to experience more that will change my mind. Because I will admit I am very good at picking choices she disapproves of, with my first Rook.

[geschiedenisish]

Just to add my worthless opinion to the better version of Twitter,

As a lot of people have already argued. We must focus on a kind of freedom. Gender freedom, race freedom, sexual freedom.

Being a fellow white male, at first, I was a bit hesitant about the concept of "safe spaces". Why do you need a safe space? Well, you don't. Because most places nowadays, or, well, Discord servers and urban bars, are 'safe spaces' which just means they don't allow bigotry. That's not a safe space, that's the norm. Like "smoke free areas", NO, that's just most areas!

I hate the term safe space, because it gives the wrong idea, at least to priviledged people. I understand it started as a literal safe space, but safe spaces should be the rule by now, not the exception. That's what I mean. We need to focus on a better future, not a bad past.

I wanna make very, very, very clear priviledged people have no idea how priviledged they are, and pointing out their priviledge will usually only draw them further to right. I'm as woke as they come, and I even took multiple years to fully become aware of my priviledge. So don't even think about convincing the christians or incels they;re "gonna met you halfway". That ain't happening!

This is very hard to hear for the left crowd, but it's the truth. If you wanna get rights, you gotta present them as not a threat to priviledged people. You get Columbus, we get IPD, you get your hate Discord servers, but we don't allow bigotry here.

Most people will switch to the second thing, but people won't resist as long as you allow the first thing to still happen. This is hard to hear, because the left has this dualistic worldview where allow Straight Pride is signing a deal with the Devil. But cancel culture ain't really working either mate!

If you stop looking at everyone as a bigot, stop presuming priviledged people will change their minds if you tell them about your struggles. Start looking at what IS actually causing change in the world, small scale positive examples such as more green in urban areas or safe spaces that just become popular cause they're wholesome. THEN you'll actually accomplish something.

Because unless you have weapons like, cough cough, the alt-right. You can moan on Twitter, but nothing is gonna happen!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[torque-witch]

Post-election comfort reading

It's only Wednesday, huh?

Well, let's take a breather and pull some cards. What should we be remembering and paying attention to today?

Page of Cups

Communication through art and creativity is the backbone of humanity. It is always needed, and right now we should all be using our energy to channel inspiration and creativity, even if it is dark. Art has always been subversive to an extent, but it is important because it lays out our emotions and thoughts in a way that transcends speaking. Whether it is music, podcasts, paintings, digital art, drawing - focus on something creative to get through the days ahead. Art is always needed.

The Star

This one got me, y'all. "Hope and inspiration after turbulence" feels a bit like a slap in the face, but it does have merit. In order to draw from that well though, we need to put energy back into it too. Align yourselves with your higher self, your spirit, your calling and keep going. What you value does have energy in this world, and the power to lead to healing. Just because the world seeks to poison that well does not mean we have to let it. Share what makes you, you. Be loud and vocal about what and who you love. There is always hope when there is at least one person in your court, even if it is you. Don't give up.

Queen of Pentacles, Reversed

Anxiety is winning today, but that's okay. Just don't let yourself suffer for too long. Achieving victory today was not going to mean that the work was over. Always be looking for opportunity to change your outlook and take those risks. For now though, find your center. Find your support. Build a peaceful environment for you and your comrades by continuing to be the person you want to be. 

Seek Inspiration in Unusual Places

Apparently the key word for today is "inspiration" and it may feel like a challenge today to even think about. But as we move forward, keep continuing to support and commune with the weird, the marginalized, and those in opposition to the mainstream. You can find a home there in times of need. You can find strength in numbers. You can find the inspiration to overcome all that seeks to tear us down. We aren't going anywhere. 

I love you and please stay hydrated, try to eat something and take your meds if you need them. And rest!! We can do the work another day. 

Decks used are Lubanko Tarot and Inquire Within Oracle. 

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Joker Out on Slušaj 'vamo, Radio Beograd 202 (31.10.2024)

Joker Out was interviewed by Radio Beograd 202 during their programme Slušaj 'vamo ('Listen here'). The interview was screenrecorded from their website.

Transcript by @moonlvster, IG irenalemajic, translation by @moonlvster, review by IG marija_rocen, proofread by X klámstrákur, subtitles by @vesdagrem

Full video and transcript below the cut 👇

Transcript:

Host: That was the band Turisti. There, we visited Rijeka briefly. I love the show 'Slušaj 'vamo' ('Listen Here'), especially when we travel around the Balkans or Serbia. Currently we're travelling around the Balkans, actually the Balkans came to us. Welcome, guys, the band is Joker Out.

Bojan: Thank you. Happy to be here.

Welcome to the Beograd 202 studio for the second time. You're all free to answer, we'll see who will speak later. We have the entire team here, all five of them. Bojan was the loudest here – obviously you have to show who the frontman is - then we have Kris, Nace, Jure and...

Bojan: And...

Jan: Jan.

Jan, yes. Bojan and Jan, great, excellent. Next we should have 'An'.

Bojan: And 'N'.

Last time we chatted - actually, when we talked over the phone, Bojan, that was sometime before you came to Belgrade - it was, I think, before you played at Arsenal Festival. So many things have changed in the meantime. Who could've thought?

Bojan: Yes. A lot of things have happened since we talked, but this album, which will come out in November, we already started working on it back then, at least mentally.

Yes, and we were announcing your concerts, and we had this question. You knew people here love you, you knew they couldn't wait to see you, but I know you couldn't expect that kind of reaction. Not at Dom omladine, not at Arsenal Fest. I mean, I was there, so I know what I'm talking about.

Bojan can answer, the rest of you can also join in, how did it all seem to you?

With all of those toys and everything that flew onto the stage and so on, the euphoria.

Bojan: I mean, the concerts at Dom omladine and Fabrika in Novi Sad were truly phenomenal, but at Arsenal Fest we got a kind of, let's say, a prediction of what we can expect - but that was something more, when it's your own concert and specifically in that kind of intimate space, you can really feel the people who are there and... there were many things that flew onto the stage, but I think we gave it our all from the stage, so that was some kind of 'you get what you give' love.

And somebody- do you have the impression that everything happened kind of quickly, I mean, in comparison to Eurovision? I'm not talking about what happened before that, you have your history before Eurovision, but you're kind of new to people. It's inevitable, when somebody takes a leap they say: "Oh, they're new", but you have 10 years behind you. That's a long story. This past year and a bit more has felt like you have - that it went really quickly.

Bojan: Well, it has, I think that in the past year and a half, 10 years have passed, really. So many things happened that we haven't experienced in the 8 years we've existed, and just today we were joking that when we celebrate our 10th anniversary, we come to Serbia and say like: "We're celebrating two and a half years since you met us."

You know what they say you were lucky. Lots of bands here only become popular on their farewell tours. All around our area, I'm not just talking about Serbia, it happens everywhere. We take in new bands slowly, but when they do, it's long-term love, you know? It's like that in your case.

Bojan: Well, I hope so.

Who's next? Does anyone want to add anything? Come on, Kris, for example?

Kris: Well, Bojan already said everything.

Did he?

Kris: Bojan already said everything.

I'll ask you this, so, last year, when you sold out Dom omladine - and Arsenal went well too - that was your prime time, which is always kind of a risk: you don't know how it'll go when you step onto the stage. Now that you're coming here for the second time, did you have the feeling that, ah, we have to repeat that and success and do even more now?

Kris: Well, I think we didn't, and I think we confirmed that later, considering the fact that Dom omladine - that tickets for Dom omladine sold out in a few hours.

But you didn't know they would sell out in a few hours when you scheduled it.

Kris: Well, we didn't know, but we knew.

But you hoped so?

Bojan: Kris knew.

Nace: Kris knew.

Kris: We assumed. And it's always like that, I mean, we knew that we wanted to go smaller than we realistically could, because we wanted it to be like... For the third album, we wanted a gig that's more intimate and for the biggest fans, so from that perspective we kind of knew they'd sell out fast, but we were still surprised by how fast it sold out again.

Bojan: We couldn't decide between Belgrade Arena¹ and Dom omladine.

Dom omladine is ten times better - for example, you know what, Johnny Štulić² was there 7 times a long time ago, at Kulušić. To this day fairytales are told about the seven concerts at Kulušić.

Bojan: Yes, right.

And second, you have those dedicated fans who will come to all seven concerts.

Bojan: True.

Can we listen to 'Bluza' now? That's your new song.

Bojan: Let's listen to 'Bluza'.

Is this your latest song? A new single, announcing the new album.

Nace: It is.

Bojan: Well...

That is, your latest single.

Bojan: It's our latest single,but something interesting about 'Bluza' and 'Šta bih ja', those are the two songs we managed to prepare in London in January and February. We played them on our European tour, before they came out. And really, during our European tour everyone already sang those two songs, so when 'Bluza' came out, it was already old news.

Okay, let's hear this old song, that's actually still new.

[Bluza cut]

This was a song called 'Bluza', the latest single from Joker Out, yes, yes, they're those Slovenian boys. If anybody is maybe wondering if they are, yes, they are. We've heard from Bojan, we've heard from Kris, little by little we'll hear from the rest. Come on, can we hear something from Jure, Nace, Jan, come on. A "good evening", even if you say it one by one.

Nace: Good evening.

Jan: Good evening, Belgrade, how's it going?

Are you excited for the concerts in Belgrade and Novi Sad?

Bojan: Come on, Janči. Are you excited?

Are you excited for the concerts in Belgrade and Novi Sad?

Jan: Yeah, every time we've been here, the concerts were phenomenal, the audience was on fire and I hope it will be the same at the next one.

Bojan: On fire.

Well, do your best, they'vealready bought the tickets in advance, so they expect it to be exactly... Will there be an additional concert? Probably...

Bojan: There won't.

No?

Kris: The additional concert is the day before, in Novi Sad.

Bojan: Yes.

Anybody who didn't get tickets on time, come to Novi Sad.

Bojan: True, we haven't sold out Novi Sad yet, so we have to... We have to...

Hey, we haven't told them the dates yet.

Bojan: Ah, yes. The 26th of November in Novi Sad, Fabrika. The 27th of November in Belgrade, Dom omladine. And come on the 26th if you still haven't bought the tickets.

Even if you have bought a ticket, come on the 26th, why not.

Bojan: Come.

You have fans, people who follow Eurovision, Eurovision obviously has its fans, it's faithful electorate, as you'd say in political jargon. Do European fans follow you, do they come to your concerts when you're in the Balkans or only when it's near them?

Bojan: No, people come to our concerts from literally all over Europe, and even further. When we had a concert at Stožice Arena, I think people bought the tickets from...

Kris: 34 countries.

Bojan: There you go, the tickets for our concert in Stožice were sold in 34 countries. And... often it happens to us that somebody is, says: "I came from Texas", or something. In Koper in Slovenia, a girl - actually, two or three girls - told us they came from Texas on the day of the concert and they went back home the next day, like...

Nace: To Ljubljana from Tokyo.

Bojan: Oh, to Ljubljana from Tokyo, right.

Jan: To the Netherlands from Malaysia.

Metallica did that thing, you know, they had a meet and greet...

Bojan: Yes.

...but they randomly picked fans, and they didn't look at where the fans are from, so there were times when they picked someone from the US, where they are from, to come to their concert at Partizan Stadium (Belgrade), and after that they hang out with them, so people came. So, think about it, it's not a bad idea, they're even founding their own agency to drive fans to concerts.

Bojan: Great.

There you go.

Bojan: We can become a travel agency, when we get bored of the band.

Here, Joker Out. You mentioned Stožice Arena, is that where you recorded the album, the live one, or?

Bojan: It is, it is.

Ah, so that was it, that was that opportunity. So, featuring all the guests from abroad,from all over the world.

Bojan: That's right. We heard voices from all over the world on that album.

Two albums, a live album right away. Well, nice, considering the kind of fanbase you have, that was... It was kind of a logical next step, to... That's the only arena we have in our country, and it seemed to us that after all these concerts we've done, and after Eurovision, which changed everything, that we should have one live concert in that arena. Like, so we can be completely sure it happened, since when you're on stage, I know that at Stožice we weren't 100% present, so it's nice to have some kind of... a vinyl to play on a record player and say: "Hey, we were actually there."

I can't wait for us to see that vinyl and play it on our record player, we still play...

Bojan: You'll receive one, we promise.

...songs on a record player. I don't know if they still use gramophones for the radio in Slovenia.

Bojan: They do.

They do? There we go, we can play a bit of it too. When you said you have one arena in the country, so you played at that one, I can say, when you add up all of the arenas of the former Yugoslavia, there's a lot of them, so you filled one, now you can fill the rest...

Bojan: Let's go!

Let's go, Zagreb Arena, Belgrade Arena, Spaladium Arena (Split), and so on, so, who knows.

Bojan: We hope so. Maybe we'll celebrate our tenth anniversary in arenas.

Yes, yes, in arenas... stadium concerts and arena concerts.

Bojan: Exactly.

Kris: You mean our two and a half year anniversary?

Bojan: Two and a half.

Two and a half for our region! When will the new album come out? There's these two singles so...

Bojan: The album comes out on the 15th of November.

So, right before the concert.

Bojan: Yes, I mean, we're used to our audience not needing more than a few hours to learn an hour and a half's worth of lyrics. So for the whole album, we said that 7 days is more than enough time until the start of the tour, so yeah.

Well, they catch something you play live and then learn it.

Bojan: Everything, everything.

Yeah? Great. What are your plans for when these concerts are over, the album is out, you'll do these concerts practically alongside the album, usually there's a tour when an album comes out, so what's your plan for the future?

Bojan: Well, this album will have a smaller tour. We're starting in Ljubljana on the 22nd and 23rd of November, then we're in Novi Sad and Belgrade, Skopje on the 1st of December, Zagreb on the 3rd of December, on the 6th we're in Maribor and on the 9th we're closing the mini-tour in Vienna. And honestly, that's about it until the end of the year for us, we'll probably do a concert or two, but nothing spectacular... And in January and February, a holiday awaits us.

Really?

Bojan: After two years, we're gonna have our first real holiday.

Somewhere in the Alps probably, or something like that?

Bojan: No, I think we're going to the seaside!

Seaside, seaside.

Bojan: The boys are going to Thailand, so, there, for the first time after a while, for 2 months we won't think about some, our next project. And afterwards we're returning to Europe, we're returning to the Balkans, we'll perform some more. And also create, I hope.

Now, are the fans who followed you during Eurovision still your fans or not? I mean, do you still plan to have someconcerts around Europe, for example?

Bojan: Of course, of course. Next year...

But not for the Balkan diaspora there, you know how it goes.

Bojan: We never performed, it's interesting, at our concerts in Europe, and we've had a good amount of them this year and a half, we've had 5 tours, I think, altogether... the Balkan diaspora actually doesn't attend our concerts, which saddens me a little. I'd prefer it if, I mean, I wouldn't prefer it, I'd love to see more Balkan people at our concerts, but we're not a part of that Yugo-nostalgic generation and the generation that moved out of the Balkans. We are their kids' generation, but that part of our culture probably doesn't get to them, so we actually don't perform for the Balkan diaspora. But, if you do listen to us and are part of the Balkan diaspora, come, please.

Yes, one by one, you'll gather them slowly. First, you'll have concerts for those who are from the places you visit, and then next time you'll have a tour only for the Balkan diaspora.

Bojan: Only the Balkan diaspora!

You know what I'm interested in... I've asked some other artists the same thing. What was that moment where you felt like... like it's going somewhere? Eurovision happened, you got there, suddenly there was a hype around you here and I can simply remember that moment when you appeared in the competition. I'm wondering when you felt that this is going somewhere and that you're getting on that train and...

Bojan: Here, Nace answered.

Nace: The gig in Dublin!

Kris: That was our first gig in... Our first real solo gig abroad. But yeah, for three years I've felt like we've been catching this train. Now is the moment when you should catch... In Slovenian, we say, "Kuj železo dokler je vroče" ('strike while the iron is hot').

Yes, yes, yes, "Gvožđe se kuje dok je vruće" ('strike while the iron is hot').

Kris: Exactly! I've had the feeling for 3 years already, and it all began with our first album showcase in... 2021, in Ljubljana, in Cvetličarna, we picked it right now as our moment where we knew that this was something that will... be our profession for the next few years, maybe our whole lives.

Maybe your whole lives! Do you know how many artists thought they'd last 10, 12, 13 years, but in the end, they celebrated their 30 year anniversaries?

Bojan: Yeah, yesterday we met Novi fosili, who are celebrating 55 years of their band and...

Tonight and tomorrow YU Grupa, who will soon have their 55th anniversary, are performing in MTS Dvorana, so...

Bojan: Exactly, those stories exist, I mean.

They're real!

Bojan: They're real, and we received some nice words, he told us... (laughter) Well, not those words! (laughter)

Don't keep it to yourselves, come on, say what you wanted to say!

Bojan: No, well, okay, we received some nice words that we should continue making music and that we have the best job in the world. That we truly, when we go to work, we hang out, make new connections, create new things, and that this is something that can last forever, so...

The thing you said, "When we go to work..." That's what I think of my job. They say if you want to not just work your whole life, but also enjoy [it], pick a job you love. So, guys, I wish for you to have this job for decades, even!

Joker Out: Thank you! You too!

Whether I'll be here, I don't know, but come here after 20 years, even. Here, it's like we knew 'Carpe Diem' is up!

Bojan: 'Carpe' is up!

Right, it fits right in. Shall we?

Bojan: Let's go. By chance!

Thank you so much, thank you for going around Belgrade for the whole day today and still finding time  to come visit us in a good mood.

Bojan: Thank you for finding the time and for inviting us.

And we'll see each other soon, I hope!

Kris: Thank you.

We'll surely meet at your concerts, I'm not completely sure about Novi Sad, but in Belgrade I'll be on the balcony.

Bojan: With the high-speed train it's 30 minutes, easy peasy.

I know already. So, see you, bye!

Kris: Thank you.

[skyrim-forever]

WIP Wednesday

Hello everyone, it is another Wednesday (my dudes)! Thanks to the lovely @umbracirrus and @hircines-hunter for tagging me <3

Tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @dirty-bosmer @lucien-lachance @thequeenofthewinter @firefly-factory @pocket-vvardvark

@captain-of-silvenar @changelingsandothernonsense @lady-iizsil @bougainvillea-and-saltwater

This is going to be a long af post because I ran a poll trying to decide what to post, but I'm just gonna give y'all a bit of each because *gestures vaguely to the world* at least we have blorbos <3 First up is another bit from the family fic, then some smut under the cut from another wip that i will have done soon or i will end up on the news MDNI: PICK YOUR POISON BESTIES

“Happy to be free of the misery and dread of Winterhold?” He earns a playful punch before Ceri joins her boyfriend on a sofa.  

“You sound too much like Ata.”

“You say that now.” He reaches for something in his armour, a folded paper. “I’ve accepted an offer from a man in Skyrim, wants help going through some Nord tomb.” Walking over to his sister, he shows her the letter, distinctly pointing to the bottom. 

“May Talos guide you.” She laughs. “Oh, what would Ata say?”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and besides, I do not get paid to care about religion. He could be Tiber Septim reborn for all I care. Might even be good actually, could charge him more.” 

“Well then, may Talos guide you Arthano. To Sovengarde!” He rapidly ruffles the top of her hair. 

“Shut up.” He laughs. 

It is a funny moment between them but Ralos can’t help but feel like he is missing something. He knew the worship of Talos had been a major point of contention between Altmer and Nords; particularly when the Thalmor were in operation. It seems their father would be especially concerned, no, upset, to learn of who his son was working for. But the way neither Arthano nor Ceri seemed to find it anything more than funny puzzled him. It can’t just be his Altmer beliefs…

The kisses are slow for a bit, enjoying the feeling of each other. Eventually, Ondolemar’s lips find their way to her neck. The marks he leaves will no doubt be difficult to cover tomorrow, but that is the furthest thing from her mind as she grinds her hips into his. 

“I’m going to miss you.” She hums. 

“And what will you miss most?” Hands move down to her thighs, creeping their way underneath her nightgown. 

“Unfortunately, you have me in a compromising position, my love. I cannot answer fairly at the moment.” Her own hands remove themselves and glide down his bare chest. 

“Then don’t.” She pulls the nightgown overhead, tossing it across the bedroom. There’s no time for him to react before she is sliding down, knees resting on the hardwood as she looks up at him. Even in the low candlelight, she can see his expression has changed; a deeper hunger written on his face. Head resting on one thigh while her hand makes its way up the other, tracing the outline of his erection through the thin pants. 

“Well. now I certainly cannot.” He groans as she removes his cock, stroking the flesh itself now. 

“I’m still waiting for an answer, love.”  

“Oh course you are. You want to hear all about how I’m going to miss you like this. How much I enjoy seeing you on your knees for me.” His left hand runs through her hair, smoothing through it as her strokes quicken. “I’ll even miss how you torture me, memories of you like this flashing through my mind at the most inconvenient times. So much has changed except for your ability to distract me from work.” 

[real-camera]

so i dont actually have a lot of stories about getting injured, and that number is wayy lessened due to my kinda bad memory so if it’s fine, im just gonna infodump a bit abt the summary of the brain-multiverse in my mind bc thats the only thing i can remember mostly clearly with a timeline (<- has been building the world since before covid)

uhh so like we start with characters made from songs or stories, ocs to do cool stuff, and at some point i realized that there’s too many universes so i do a purge of them with a ceremony, the multiverses (at that time, only one multiverse) are destroyed, yet still remain as fragments for the characters

i make an oc that i plan to use more frequently than the others, and the other previously main characters are still main characters, im just not making them the spotlight character, or the character that i focus on/imagine from their perspective-ish, as of that time. All the previously made characters (like a hundred kinda developed ones bc they tend to stick to a genre of music or story) are now in the same universe, but none of them have the memory of the previous multiverse. due to my character’s (call them M for now) backstory and role in the world (which would take too long to actually explain) theyre one of the few who are actually aware of the multiverse, with the multiverse being canon in their memories due to the multiverse being part of the ‘host’ M. they are able to travel multiverses, but can only interfere with select labeled multiverses (interactables?)

there’s chaos events (limited to the universe, caused by C) world events (limited to the universe, caused by world/NOT outside interference, and universe events (limited to universes of that type, cause is kinda funky depending on the event)

so im not too sure about all of that, they may change, they may get more added on, doesnt matter because for every thing that is, there is one where it isnt and many inbetween

so now that we got the Origin multiverse, or the High Magic multiverse, due to many people there and the world being very powered, and kinda op compared to the other worlds, its part of the Named side, in which basically all the characters are named.

Then we move onto the semi-Named side, originally based in a Danganronpa world so Ultimates and stuff exist before eventually adding magic. theres also an M there, however very few other characters there are also named compared to the High Magic multiverse. the M there is different from the M in the High Magic in what they are, their origins, and a lot of stuff, however they are also aware of the multiverses due to how their character originated and branched from the other M

while some characters are exclusive to their multiverses, some characters are in both, so in the crossover universes (in which the higher magic universe crosses to the lower one, as they have magic to spare so they can bridge the gap) there may be more than one character with the same name and appearance

there’s also those two people, not M, who have their own lore i wont be saying but who are related in some way (cousins or brothers or idk) who literally moved from High Magic to Middle Magic, so the Ms check up on them from time to time.

then there’s the Low Magic multiverse where magic is rarer. (High Magic has magic, basically everyone is magic in some way, and there’s a lot. Middle Magic has magic, most people have magic, there’s not really a lot but also not little. Low Magic has magic, it’s rare to have magic, and the amounts of magic there is kinda lower than average.)

this one is odd bc i spent the least time here so each plotline/universe varies from each other in many ways

i have to be kinda vague bc each M has a different plotline and if it was different enough for me to know it, it’s different enough from other Ms. also important note: magic isn’t exactly magic, im just saying it because that’s the easiest explanation

now i think that’s basically the gist of it? theres been a recent development in which i switched spotlight characters in the High Magic (i often use High or Middle Magic) and im starting to develop another character a bit more now, also adding more characters as well lol, but besides that, yeah that’s the summary :3

uhhh idk if this summary infodump was fine but oh well, i dont have injuries that i remember that seemed important

uhhhhhhh

@hero-dualies-3 ?? idk i dont talk to my other mutuals i talk/interact the most with like two mutuals and one of them tagged me

open if anyone not tagged wants to join ig

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[anthurak]

Sooo… random little Yugioh thing that’s been bugging me for a little while:

I don’t think it’s appropriate for Yugi to be playing Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl or even most of Yami’s iconic monsters post-series and after Atem/Yami passed on.

I was looking at the recently-released ‘Shining Sarcophagus’ set, which is an archetype of cards based around the cards Yugi used in both his solo duel against Yami Bakura and of course the Ceremonial Duel against Atem at the end of the series. And for the most part, it’s actually pretty cool.

Like it’s got retrains of Silent Magician and Swordsman, Marshmallon, the Gadget Trio plus Stronghold the Moving Fortress, and Gandora the Dragon of Destruction, as well as a couple of magic cards referencing Card of Sanctity and Turn Jump.

And it’s all tied together by the titular new Shining Sarcophagus, which references Yugi’s use of Golden Sarcophagus in the Ceremonial Duel. And in particular how he used it to secure the win against Atem by negating his attempt to revive Slifer the Sky Dragon.

So for the most part, this set it pretty cool…

…except for the fact that it ALSO includes its own versions of Dark Magician and Summoned Skull, plus a new Dark Magician-focused version of Mirror Force.

And like, that doesn’t seem appropriate, you know?

Obviously it REALLY doesn’t work in the context of this set being meant to represent Yugi’s deck in the Ceremonial Duel against Atem. Since, you know, Yugi didn’t USE Dark Magician in that duel and was actually DUELING AGAINST THEM.

And looking more broadly, for example at Yugi’s post-series duels in Dark Side of Dimensions, I feel like Yugi playing Dark Magician and other similar monsters kinda does a disservice to his character. When you get down to it, Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl are intrinsically tied to ATEM. As in, they are literally the present-day incarnations of two of Atem’s closest friends from their lives back in ancient Egypt.

So when we consider how the culmination of Yugi’s character arc in the series is him stepping OUT of Atem’s shadow and standing on his own, to the point that he is even able to ultimately DEFEAT Atem himself, it makes Yugi using Atem’s iconic monsters feel just a bit regressive don’t you think?

Like it makes Yugi using Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl and Gaia the Fierce Knight in his DSOD duels feel more like fanservice at the expense of character-development.*

Though funny enough, with that said I do actually think Yugi’s use of Atem’s monsters in the movie can work… with ONE specific change.

For one, Yugi DOES still use a number of his Ceremonial Duel monsters in his duels against Aigami and Kaiba, like new versions of Marshmellon, the Gadget monsters, a new Moving Fortress and Gandora X.

And notably when Yugi first brings out Dark Magician against Kaiba, he gets beaten pretty early by Kaiba’s new Blue-Eyes Chaos MAX Dragon, and it is Yugi’s Gandora X that takes down Kaiba’s new superboss Deep-Eyes White Dragon.

Which brings us to the ONE change that I think would make the end of this duel so much better for Yugi’s character and just be REALLY cool narratively in general:

In the movie, after Gandora X and Deep-Eyes White Dragon destroy each other, Kaiba tries to revive his Deep-Eyes (with a Monster Reborn that Yugi gave him earlier), but Yugi is able to negate this and bring back Dark Magician who is able to finish Kaiba off for good, or at least is ABOUT to when the new and improved Super Ring-Possessed EVIL-Evil Yami-Aigami (or ‘Yamigami’ as I like to call him) shows up to crash the party.

BUT! What if INSTEAD of Dark Magician, Yugi was able to bring out Silent Magician to deal the final blow to Kaiba?

I mean, how fucking PERFECT would that be symbolically? For one, it would complete the parallels to the Ceremonial Duel, with Kaiba trying to revive a powerful dragon with Monster Reborn just like Atem, only for Yugi to negate it and finish him off with Silent Magician.

But more than that, it would be a positively BRILLIANT slap-in-the-face for Kaiba. Throughout the entire duel, Kaiba has done his best to be utterly dismissive of Yugi, viewing him as nothing but a roadblock between him and his REAL goal. Kaiba doesn’t want to duel Yugi, he WANTS to duel ATEM.

So how PERFECT would it be if Kaiba winds up facing defeat NOT at the hands of Atem’s iconic magician, but instead YUGI’s? Effectively FORCING Kaiba to recognize that it is NOT Atem who is about to defeat him, but YUGI.

I just think that would be REALLY cool XD

--

*Though I will freely admit that I love that the movie introduced a proper ‘Magician Girl’ archetype for DMG. I guess I just wish the movie could have introduced them without Yugi using them? Maybe by contriving a duel for Tea to be involved in where it’s revealed that SHE’S using Dark Magician Girl now along with the new Magician Girls? I think that would be fun XD

[alipeeps]

Episode 20

Goddammit Bai Jiu, you had better be pulling a double agent thing like Pei Sijing turned out to be or I swear I will never forgive you!

This flashback montage of how he lied to everyone is giving me the rages.

I can't help thinking about him just the previous episode telling Li Lun that Zhu Yan (who had gotten himself trapped in a demon-suppressing cage in order to protect Bai Jiu) "Zhao Yuanzhou is my best friend". Grrrrr...

Ugh, and the flashback montage of how he sealed Zhu Yan's senses is even worse! You sneaky, devious little shit, Bai Jiu.

Fuck's sake, they've been working towards this from the very start, right down to the list of people to be on the team...

I keep feeling like there is information that either I have missed or that simply was not presented in previous eps? Last ep they said Pei Sijing was the Prime Minister's representative - and I was like, eh? Since when?

And now Wen Zongyu says she's the Prime Minister's bodyguard?! I don't remember that ever being mentioned?

Oh fuuuuuuck!! So it WAS Chongwu Camp running that clinic with the imprisoned demons 8 years ago...

And 8 years later it is still the ever-burning wood - that Zhu Yan accidentally absorbed back then - that Wen Zongyu is after!

Well, the little shit does at least look a bit conflicted...

And.. right, okay, I watch a lot of cdrama, I know this is just how it goes, it's very common to have scenes where they stand around dramatically talking about their schemes etc and almost kinda waiting for the next move/attack to be made etc but really?

You've had it laid out in explicit detail that all they need to do is use a needle to seal your sense of touch and that's it, kiss your core goodbye, but you're still gonna just stand there and watch and wait for them to come at you with the needle? You could turn around and be out that fucking door in a heartbeat dude, why don't you?

Oh SHIT the entire room is painted with demon-suppressing charms?!!

Dude, just fucking RUN then - you can outpace a fucking 13 year old, surely?

Annnd now you can't do that because the cavalry has arrived to cut off your exit.

Pleeeeeeease tell me we're gonna get one of those famous GJM flashbacks where it turns out they suspected something and they planned for this?

Ayyyy teleport device for the win!!

And from the sigh of relief, Bai Jiu did not want to have to do this. But that doesn't fucking change that he has been doing it right up until this point.

Uhhhh is that not the Prime Minister's carriage that previously stopped for "Wen Xiao" who was blocking the road? Why is it now seeping blood as it passes along the street...

I guess Not-Wen Xiao was hungry eh?

Ahh Zhuo Yichen, Zhuo YIchen...

Yeah best not to pin your hopes on maybe's... this is a cdrama after all...

Situ's mansion? Am I having memory lapses again? That sound's familiar but I can't think why...

Oh and presumably it's because of Mr Situ who has just arrived in a panic. Can we assume the guards are here to arrest Wen Xiao for eating the Prime Minister?

Hold up, it's Chongwu Camp that have come for her? How come they keep coming around to enforce things on behalf of the Prime Minister?

Oh ya think?!!

Oooh she's clever...

Oh she's VERY clever! Ask Mr Situ to hide you in his mansion... where you can then search for the divine wood!!

Oooh dontcha just wanna punch that smirk off his face?

This fishpond is so fucking extra and I love it so..

Oh you've got a wife hidden away in a sealed fucking room have you bro? Bedridden and sensitive to light and wind, is she? That doesn't exactly explain why the room is literally sealed shut?!!

Oh and was that a glimpse of the inside of the room with branches in it?

Oh wtf wait is Mr Situ Bai Jiu's dad?! I hadn't connected the names before. So the mystery wife who is sealed away is Bai Jiu's mum? The one who we've previously seen footage of Bai Jiu crying outside her room as branches spread out from under the door? Is Mrs Situ a pagoda demon as I have previously theorised?

My god these two. Zhu Yan's like.. didn't expect you to be the subject of a city wide hunt.. impressive! And Wen Xiao's like... why shouldn't I be.. are you doubting my ability to excel?

Is poor Zhuo Yichen now the only one who doesn't know about Bai Jiu? Shouldn't somebody maybe clue him in?

Why would the crime scene carriage be sent to Demon Hunting Bureau when it's a) Chongwu Camp who are charged with arresting the alleged perpetrator and b) Demon Hunting Bureau could well be assumed to be biased in favour of Wen Xiao and not objective in assessing the evidence?

Yeah why has he been carrying that copy of the book around all this time?

Check out Sherlock fucking Holmes here making deductions about the owner of this book based on its appearance...

Ahhh finally the penny has dropped for Zhuo Yichen that they've previously encountered a demon who was able to appear as Wen Xiao...

Ayyy it's our favourite mountain god!!

Oooh you clever boy, you purified the yao water? Plan "repair the baize token" is back on track!!

Aaaaand yup Ao Yin is the demon Li Lun released from the cage at the clinic 8 years ago...

I sure hope that confidence is warranted. Maybe you should be... ohh I dunno... looking at how to unseal your 4 senses so that you are not still vulnerable to having the last 1 sealed?

And didn't I fucking say that somebody needs to warn Zhuo Yichen about Bai Jiu? Cos here the little fucker is and Zhuo dage has no fucking idea that he's a Chongwu Camp traitor.

Yeah you better run you little shit.

Oh man, that's badass. I love when we get a reminder of just how powerful - and scary - he really is.

Oh wait, lemme guess, Wen Zongyu promised him that whatever skanky research he is performing with demon blood - and that he needs the ever-burning wood from Zhao Yuanzhou for - can cure whatever's going on with Bai Jiu's mum?

Goddamn this kid is such a good actor though. It's killing me that we may never get to see his portrayal of Xia Sini/kiddy Chu Wanning in Immortality - he will have fucking nailed it, I'm sure.

FUCKING CALLED IT!! That bastard promised him to save his mum if he joined the Demon Hunting Bureau and sealed Zhu Yan's 5 senses.

Oh fuck the baby Xiao Jiu actor is super fucking cute!!

Uhoh is that a blood moon? Is it (again!) the same one from 8 years ago where Zhu Yan wigged out?

And did Bai Jiu's pagoda spirit mum also lose control of her powers during that blood moon?

Oh dang so his name is Situ Jiu and he chose Bai Jiu when he went to train under Wen Zongyu.

And again Wen Zongyu said his mum was killed by a demon. Is that a mis-translation? Like... is she ill... or dead?

And I still think she was not so much killed/made ill by a demon as... she is a demon and she lost control/something went wrong...

She's not dead or ill she's.... a tree!

Fucking knew it!

What on earth was the point of keeping this from him all this time though Mr Situ? Ffs...

Ah-ha!! Mummy was not just a demon, she was half-demon, half-god, like Ying Lei... and that's why Bai Jiu had divine power... and why the pagoda demon said he was lying when he said he was human...

Oh wow, she's proper old school demi-god too, as old as the gods...

Ah fuck so it was the same blood moon and it was the disappearance of the baize token that injured her and made her revert to her true form. So... presumably fixing the baize token might also fix her?

(And if she is descended from the same source as the divine wood... would wood from her tree form serve as the divine wood needed to repair the token? And is that why the clues about the divine wood were rumoured to be hidden at Situ mansion?)

That is a very good fucking question.

Why the FUCK didn't you tell your goddamn son what was going on Mr Situ, instead of leaving him hurting all these years and wide open to being manipulated by the bad guys?!!

You fucking tell him Zhuo Yichen.

Fucking kid's got more guts and responsibility than any of you bloody adults.

But Xiao Jiu, sweetie, can I please recommend that you put all of your clever medical knowledge to immediate use to fucking unseal all that you've done to Zhu Yan so that he is no longer vulnerable to being sealed by a single fucking needle?

Ah fuck... was that ending Chongwu camp closing in on them while they were all having a heart to heart?

[palenutbasement]

So every Inktober I try to do something more challenging, and this year I thought I would make a short comic/fanfic. I think I got the idea for this one a year ago but I was already wrapped up with another Inktober. Eventually I solidified the idea by making my own prompt list some time ago.

This comic is split into three parts with 10 days focusing on each of them, 30 in total, everything is compiled here. I wanted to post them after October in case I wanted to change anything.

This first part takes place in the summit.

The comic is basically all improvised, that means no planning for the composition, plot, or sketching any drawings. The most planning I did was write a few scripts ahead of time within the month to save me some time but most of them would be changed last minute anyways.

As for the plot, I won't go too deep into it because I don't want to talk too much, so you'll just find commentary on the making of the comic and stuff.

This first part is a little gimmick-y compared to the next two, with new elements appearing almost every day. It’s because I relied a lot on the prompts (dog, milk, etc.) to keep things happening, eventually I move further away from them.

What is surprising to me is how much the art changes as the days go by especially within the span of one month. I did refine a few things to keep it more consistent but this is nearly indistinguishable from the original drawings.

I should also mention that my favourite aspect of this project was adding references to the game and subtle details (if you can find it all, awesome!!) This may have been done quickly but I like to have those things and put at least a bit of effort into the dialogue.

Part 2

Eventually I figured that drawing the same setting for 30 days straight would drive me insane, hence why this comic is split like it is. I’m glad I did because it makes the story a little more interesting, seeing the characters have different attitudes in different places and whatnot.

This one takes place in the cave directly after pt 1. Admittedly I do better drawing outdoor settings, it's what I'm used to, but the cave wasn't so bad to figure out.

I remember these two days I was streaming drawing the comic to my friends, so I kinda zoned out while we were talking lol

One of the prompts was about napping, so I made Dwarf sleep. I believe I was tired that day too and it was therapeutic to draw and include that. Also they look cute, I think.

18 & 19 have some of my favourite drawings in the comic. The campfire lighting is what we'd get if I had a bit more energy each day, and I like the perspective in the first panel of 19.

I find this last section interesting, because of all the 30 days, it’s the only one in Dwarf’s POV. I felt like it was fitting to do something like that at the time.

Part 3

Since we were approaching Halloween, I wanted to have a special part for it. It’s related to the other two parts but it takes place some time after. I’m really sorry it’s out of season, if it were up to me I would have had this post out earlier (thank my midterms for the delay)

Out of all the other parts this one is my favourite. Maybe because it’s more recent I’m inclined to think that way but it has some of my fave moments that I've written here.

Other than that I don't have much commentary for this part. More thoughts at the end!

I was caught up everyday atp, but I didn’t have much spare time to prepare for the ending (I wrote it the morning of that day). I think this is a decent conclusion though.

I intend on coming back to this story, maybe next year to make a continuation but we'll see what happens. There are definitely things that I want to come back to someday.

Thank you for making it this far btw. It's been an eventful month for me beyond this (Untitled) comic, but there wasn't a single aspect of this that I didn't enjoy doing. It's a silly project and I care about it.

Also, I'm not going to neglect the 31st of October! That day will get an illustration, where I will pick my favourite panel and redraw it. I want to take my time with this one so it's not out yet, but hopefully I can finish by Christmas.

[darkphoenixmage]

Okay so, I saw this a few weeks ago and I tried, I tried really hard to be just "Neat" and move on. But I can't, I can't stop thinking about this AU, I can't stop thinking about the logistics of it of the changes to dynamics that would take place as a result. So now all y'all get to read my rabid logistical analysis of this AU.

First and foremost, Yusuke Yukimura can NOT slap Keiko Urameshi even once it would ruin his good student rep because double standards, alas. At the same time, because Yusuke is a good-boy now, no perving on Keiko by lifting her skirt to look at her panties or anything. On the flip-side, I propose that Keiko Urameshi would flash panties and maybe bra at Yusuke Yukimura, to retain the casual perversion but it's really just to get a rise out of Yusuke (honestly I think that's why he casually pervs on Keiko in canon, to get a rise out of her) The teachers are always slut shaming Keiko and insinuating or just stating outright how she'll end up just like her mother, never mind that Keiko is a virgin and intends to wait till marriage in order to avoid ending up in her mother's situation. Because those teachers are assholes. Keiko and Kuwabara rivalry can NOT happen because even as a punk Kazuma Kuwabara is a good boy and will NOT hit girls, I see two solutions to this, however one solution would kinda ruin the whole Kuwabara/Hiei. Solution one; switch Kazuma and Shizuru's birth order but keep their personalities mostly the same as in canon, except Kazuma will be more like end of series or even a bit more mature given he had to help raise his little sister, and tried to raise her to be a proper lady, which didn't take nearly as well as Shizuru's lessons in 'being a man' did with Kazuma. Likely because Kazuma would never hit his little sister while Shizuru had no issues beating on her little brother (double standards yay /s) As a result, Shizuru is rebelling and being a rival punk girl with a little punk girl gang, to Keiko. As a result Kazuma/Hiei doesn't happen, he'd see himself as too old for Hiei, this DOES however open up the possibility of Shizuru/Hiei, which could be funny. However if we want to keep Kazuma in the group, and in love with Hiei, then the solution I propose is that Kazuma is constantly trying to defend Keiko from other punks, cause she's a girl and she the proceeds to beat the CRAP out of him and he never hits back because girl. Though this does also mean that Kazuma, while he might find Yukina frustrating won't be nearly as in your face about it because Yukina is also a girl. Now onto the logistic of an ALL MALE clan of Ice Apparitions. Honestly I'm picturing Immaculate conception M-Preg and that the Male Ice Apparitions can still father children, they just don't cause no ladies around, however they ALSO can become pregnant by outsider males, the problem is this can result in female children and they don't want females around. The question is, are these Male Ice Apparitions just as woman hating and considering them violent and evil and the source of all ills as the Koorime in canon do with men. OR do they consider women the course of evil in a more passive way, such as 'women being around makes men stupid and violent, so we just won't have women.' The former is funnier and also the more insane option but then the canon views of the Koorime is also kinda insane because even among humans women are just as capable of being violent as men it's just men are more encouraged and socialized toward violence for both recreation and solving their problems, as a group anyway not individuals, Given demons as a whole seem to be a least a little more, equal in violence between the sexes, that just makes the Koorime's views extra insane.

Oh right, Raizen. Raizen is still the Keiko's forefather, no changes there, not even in how he treats her compared to his treatment of Yusuke in canon. Honestly he might even think having a girl being the one to awaken his blood is pretty dope, after all the Urameshi fore-mother was a badass, why shouldn't his descendant also be a badass lady?

Hmmm just realized Gonzo Tarukane has the potential to be extra fucking creepy with Koorime Hiei, wonder if he'd even realize Hiei is male?Hmmmmmm I don't like thinking about this part, it would be awful and creepy regardless.

YU YU AU AU

in this alternate universe Keiko is the punk mazoku raised by a lush and Yusuke is the good boy 

Meanwhile, Yukina is a female fire demon rejected by the all-male ice apparition clan she and Hiei were born to

Also Kuwabara is in love with Hiei 

[amazingmsme]

That Was Funny. Laugh

AN: I haven’t forgotten about the rest of tickletober, don’t you worry! Here’s day 24 with Max & the nerds! I feel like he would probably try too hard to fit in with them, & it doesn’t exactly always work. But that’s ok, he’ll make it work! Think we all could use a bit of fluff right now…

Things were starting to look up. They were hesitant to say that the prank worked, but at least Max had stopped bullying them, and that was their main goal, so Pete marked it as a success.

The rest of the jocks started to change their tune, following Max's lead, and it had been weeks since he had a swirly or was shoved inside a locker. Pete and Steph were going steady, and the school play was really starting to come together. The Jagerman himself even invited them to the big game to watch him "stomp Clivesdale into the fucking mud." And what do you know, he did!

So things were honestly pretty great. There was just one little problem...

"Sup nerds!"

They all groaned in unison as he announced his presence from behind. He caught up rather quickly, slinging his arms around Peter and Richie's shoulders, the latter flinching at the contact.

"Oh, h-hey Max," he stuttered, trying to play it cool. Max didn't seem to notice, or he just didn't care. "What's up?"

"Oh nothin' much, practice got canceled 'cause of the rain so I gotta fuckin' walk home. Can you believe it?" he complained. Steph couldn't hide her smirk as she answered.

"Yeah I can, actually."

"Shut it, Lauter," he snapped, but it lacked the usual venom his words carried. "You never have to walk anywhere."

"Actually," she corrected, "I'm walking right now." Peter, Ruth, and Richie all snapped their heads to look at her, silently begging her not to say another word.

"Oh yeah? Where the hell are you nerds going? The fuckin' library?" he wheezed out a laugh, slapping a hand on his knee in amusement, although his laughter trailed off when he realized no one was laughing with him.

Steph merely arched a brow and crossed her arms. "No smartass, we're going to Pizza Pete's to win that ugly little doll Ruth's been wanting." Pleading stares turned to annoyed glances as she spilt the beans. The very act of telling Max where they were going was practically an invitation in his eyes.

"Really? Didn't know Spankoffski had his own pizza shop," he quipped, a smirk stretching across his face. That one was good, he had to admit.

And they still didn't fuckin' laugh! Are they brain dead or something?

"Ha ha, like I never heard that one before," Peter rolled his eyes, an annoyed smile tugging at his lips. At least Max was trying.

"Well if you need tickets to win the ugly fucker, I'm great at skee ball," he offered.

"Don't call him that! He's so fuzzy and cute, you guys are just mean!" Ruth whined, clutching her chest dramatically.

"Ruth, radioactive Cthulhu is not cute, he's just creepy," Richie deadpanned. Ruth stuck her tongue out as he returned the gesture.

"Come on you two, those tickets aren't gonna win themselves," Peter prompted, and they began walking down the sidewalk, dumb jock in tow. They all resigned to their fate of backhanded compliments and obscure sports references for the next two hours. Still, it was better than the way things used to be.

Not ideal, but surprisingly tolerable.

At least when he wasn't trying so damn hard. He would go out of his way to be what he considered kind, but was really the bare minimum at best. And Peter wasn’t exactly sure why he thought he needed to be funny for them to like him. Honestly, it was getting old.

Peter, Richie and Max stood off to the side as Ruth and Steph fed their tickets into the ticket counter. A waiter passed by carrying a pizza, and Max nudged them to get their attention, pointing at the restaurant’s signature dish.

“You see that?”

Peter and Richie exchanged confused looks and shrugged. “I guess…”

Max sported a proud, shit-eating grin. “I’d tell you a joke about pizza, but it’d probably be too cheesy,” he punctuated the joke with a deep laugh of his own as they just stared at him.

“I’m lactose intolerant, what the fuck are you talking about?” Richie deadpanned, clearly not getting the joke. Max rolled his eyes dramatically.

“It’s called a joke, dumbass! And it was funny, so you better laugh!” He took a step closer when Richie didn’t immediately comply. “Laugh,” he demanded, deciding to ditch the jokes all together and go for a more “hands on” approach.

“Mahahax! Whahat thehehe hehell?” he asked, thrashing from side to side as he managed to escape Max’s evil clutches.

“Ha! I knew you’d be ticklish! What about you Soanioffski?” he questioned, catching him off guard.

“Wha- me? Max, wahahait!” he cried out as Max targeted him as well. He scribbled up and down Richie’s side while his other hand prodded at Peter’s ribs. Richie flailed around uselessly, shrill giggles filling the air. Peter slapped at his hand, but Max wasn’t deterred in the slightest.

“How come you nerds never told me how ticklish you were? Think of all the fun we could’ve had!” he cheered, shoving his hands underneath both of their arms, eliciting two different giggly shrieks.

“Thahahat’s exahactly why wehe nehehever tohohold you!” Peter whined.

“We gotta make up for lost time then, don’t we? Don’t worry, I can hustle.” They started protesting, shaking their heads and tripping over their words as he wiggled his fingers closer and closer.

He was just about to really strike when Steph came to their rescue.

“Hey, I think we have enough tickets,” she called for their attention, a fond smirk firmly in place.

Max pulled them closer, ruffling their hair as he did so. “Don’t worry, we’ll pick that up again later.”

Y’know… call him crazy, but Peter wasn’t exactly dreading it.

[himbo-ford-pines]

Hello stanbel shippers I’m here to f e e d you. This is for a fic trade with @baddog-nobiting !! They ordered something pretty yummy and cute and uhhhhh yeah 🙈🥵👉👈 here u go babe

————————

“Mabel, the remote.” Stan grunted, pointing at it across the room while doinh his best not to move from his spot in the worn recliner.

Mabel got up from her spot and grabbed it. “You have to say please, Grunkle Stan, we talked about this.” She stood in front of the tv and crossed her arms.

Stanley scowled. “Mabel, it’s my house. My cable, that I pay for. Hand it over.” He held out his hand, looking at her with his infamous “no buts” expression.

She huffed and climbed into his lap, pouting at him and giving him her best doe-eyed baby girl look. “Well can I at least sit up here with you?” The gears were turning in her head. She would get a please out of him whether he liked it or not.

“Course sweetie.” He kissed her hair and plucked the remote out of her hand, noting the (slightly smudged and fingerprinted) rainbow nail polish on her fingers. “I like your nails. You gonna do mine?” He joked, pinching her side.

“When you ask me politely.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

He rolled his eyes and changed the channel, pulling his girl closer to his body. He kept a firm hand on her hip.

After a few minutes, he began tugging at her skirt, nuzzling and mouthing at her neck and jaw.

She laid her head back, baring her neck to him and humming happily. His hand started to snake into her star-printed panties and she grabbed his wrist. He looked at her in surprise. “What? Not in the mood tonight pumpkin?”

“You didn’t ask, Grunkle Stan.” She grinned innocently at him, showing off her rainbow braces that matched her rainbow nails.

“I never ask.” He teased. “I’m your Grunkle, I don’t have to.” He started to rub over her crotch. “Besides, you’re sitting here soaking wet, princess. Why don’t you let me fix it.” He started trying to get into her underwear again and she leaned down and bit him solidly. He pulled back, rubbing spit his forearm. “Ow, seriously? Fine, then you can just sit there.” He adjusted so his hard cock that sat tenting his boxers was pressing right down the middle of her ass and they sat in silence like that for a while, watching tv until Mabel fell asleep. When Stanley noticed, he picked her up and carried her to bed, muttering about having to take care of himself.

He was irritable the next day, scowling while he made breakfast. Stanford came in from a long night downstairs to refill his coffee. “Good morning.” He kissed the back of Stanley’s neck and wrapped an arm around him, resting his large hand on his brother’s chest. “What’s wrong? You’re burning your pancakes.”

Stan cursed and shut off the stove. “…. Mabel wouldn’t put out last night.”

“That’s what you’re pissed about? She has a right to say no.”

“It’s not that. She didn’t say no. She… said I had to ‘ask politely’. You know, say please.”

There was quiet for a moment before Ford laughed loudly and let go of him. “You know, I was gonna take care of that grouchy attitude but… I think I’m with our great niece on this one.” He smirked in satisfaction when Stan blinked.

“Wha- fine! I don’t need you, I have old righty here!” He held up his right hand. “And he never says no!” He huffed and started breakfast over, and Ford left the kitchen snickering.

Needless to say, Stan’s hand didn’t do the trick, it didn’t even touch the carnal need in his pants. He sighed and trudged into the living room after trying to finish in his bedroom for the last hour, pausing at the sight of the kids playing video games in their underwear. His cock twitched. Goddammit. “Okay, shoo. Get.” He started waving them out of the living room. “Go hit each other with sticks or whatever it is you do.” He plopped down in his chair, eyeing them both. “Why the hell are you naked anyway?”

“We’re not naked, and it’s like a bajillion degrees in here dude.” Dipper crossed his arms. “Can we please turn the AC up?”

“When you start-“

“Paying the electric bill, I know I know.” The tween rolled his eyes. “Come on Mabel, let’s go to the creek.” They ran upstairs to get their bathing suits on and Stan leaned back, reaching into his pants to try again to rub one out. By the time they came downstairs he was sweaty and irritated, watching tv with an insipid look on his face. Dipper yelled up to Mabel that he would race her outside and he bolted through the living room without a second glance at Stan.

“That’s not fair, I’m still tying my swimsuit!” She whined at her brother as she followed him down. Stan looked up, taking in the young girl in her fucking red and white polka dot bikini. God. Dammit. he grabbed her wrist as she ran by.

“Hey! I’m gonna lose!”

“Please.” He muttered through grit teeth.

Mabel blinked at him then squealed and grinned. “Say it again!”

“Oh come on!”

“Do iiiiiit.”

“…..” he sighed heavily. “Please Mabel; please, please, please.”

“Please… what?” She bit her lip, still grinning. She was eating this up.

“God- please get your hands dirty for me.” He covered his face with one hand, bright red.

“Okay! Since you asked sooo nicely.” She kissed his cheek and got on her knees on the carpet in front of him, before wrapping both her hands around his cock and squeezing. He moaned lowly, leaning his head back. “Fuck… thank you…”

“You’re learning so fast Grunkle Stan.” She kissed the tip of his cock before going down on him.