#but can we find something that's not ballet tights??

[episims]

Right... there's supposed to be a wish...

I want to—no. I'm getting lessons from a high witch now! I will prove them wrong. I'm going to be a better witch than everyone at the school combined!

...I just wish they won't get angry at me.

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, lots of creatures were stirring, aside from a mouse.

Coriolanus peeks his head out of his study when he hears little feet running by and catches a glimpse of one of his children rounding the corner. He shakes his head, he's told them countless times not to run in the house, they have neighbors below them who he'd like to remain on good terms with.

"Ceraphina darling, let's fix your hair," Soarynn calls from down the hall.

Coriolanus readies himself this time, standing in the doorway when his oldest daughter runs by him and he reaches out, grabbing her and scooping her up. "Daddy!" She shrieks, kicking her feet in the air, "Daddy, put me down!"

Coriolanus chuckles, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, "What have I told you about running hmm? We don't want to upset the Dolittles sweetheart." Ceraphina at least has the decency to look guilty at being caught red-handed and rests a hand on his shoulder, "I won't ever do it again," she promises even though they both know she will.

He hums, gently setting her back down on the floor, "I'll hold you to that, now go find your mother so you can get ready for the show."

Coriolanus bought tickets to the ballet for tonight, the night before Christmas, and as expected, the children are very excited. The girls are the most excited since this is a chance to see the pretty ballerines in their costumes. For Caspian, it simply means getting to stay up past his bedtime which is a treat in itself.

Ceraphina makes a big show of slowly walking down the hallway to find her mother and Coriolanus goes back into his study, he ought to start getting ready himself. He puts his work away, neatly stacking his papers and putting away his pens when he hears a meow. He looks down at the floor and finds Petunia looking up at him.

Petunia is...well she's...Petunia is Soarynn's cat. There, that's the perfect way to explain his relationship with Petunia, she belongs to his wife which has led to them having to form something of a relationship. Most days they ignore each other but it's moments like this when everyone is busy that she seeks him out to bother him.

Coriolanus is not impressed when she rolls onto her back, paws in the air and a tilt to her head, "Go away," he tells the feline, closing the drawer to his desk, "or go find Soarynn." Petunia swipes at his shoes but he dodges her attack, after living with her for a good six years, he knows how she operates.

"Daddy look!"

He turns back to the doorway and sees that his youngest daughter is ready for tonight. Her hair has been pulled away from her face into a ponytail and he can see the big red bow Soarynn tied around it. Celeste is wearing a cute green dress with white tights and shiny black shoes with a little strap going across them. She looks adorable.

"Well, don't you look pretty? Do a twirl for me princess," he says, smiling when Celeste holds out her arms and spins around, almost falling over in the process but he reaches out and steadies her. "Was I just like the ballerinas Daddy?"

Coriolanus warily eyes Petunia who has now rolled back onto her feet and is slowly approaching him and Celeste. She's so sweet with the children which means that she purposely goes out of her way to be rude to him and only him.

"Yes you were darling," he answers, taking a step back, "why don't you and Petunia go find your mother hmm?"

"But I just saw Mommy, she said I was ready."

Petunia is getting ready to lunge and Coriolanus is getting ready to run, "Well, go see her again, and take Petunia with you please."

Celeste gives him a curious look but the four-year-old asks no questions and picks Petunia up, groaning at the small weight she has to carry, "C'mon Petunia, let's go find Mommy."

Petunia glares at Coriolanus before she's carried away and he smirks, she'll be subjected to cuddles and pets, what a terrible life to live. She probably thought that she had him cornered with Celeste in the room but he's quicker than that.

And Snow always lands on top.

꧁ ꧂

Thirty minutes later, Coriolanus is ready for dinner and a show.

He looks rather dashing in his red suit with a heavy red coat to match. They get cold winters in the Capitol with the mountains so close by and he knows better than to underestimate the weather.

He's putting on his gloves when Ceraphina and Celeste come into his closet, both wearing their sweetest smiles, "Come look at how pretty Mommy looks," Celeste says, tugging on his coat. Coriolanus slips his wallet into his pocket before complying with their wishes and following them out into the bedroom.

Soarynn had gotten all three children dressed and ready for the ballet in the time it took him to get one child ready, once again solidifying that he truly married the perfect woman. And he almost loses his breath when he sees how stunning she looks tonight.

While all three of their children are dressed in green, it seems that she tore a page out of his book and wore red. Her dress clings to her figure, showing off her curves in all the right places. It's long-sleeved and the sleeves have intricate beaded patterns sewn into them, truly making this dress a piece of art. The neckline goes straight across her neck, showing off her collarbones while still remaining tasteful.

He's at a loss for words.

"Doesn't Mommy look pretty?"

Coriolanus manages to nod and pick his jaw off the floor, "She looks very pretty," he agrees, deciding that tonight will end with that dress on the floor.

Soarynn smiles so sweetly at his compliment and comes over to him, fussing with his tie and the lapels of his suit, "Well you look very handsome Coryo," she purrs, doing nothing to help his growing desire for her. He rests his hands on her waist, almost wishing the children weren't present but he still leans in and pecks her lips.

The girls sigh like they always do whenever witnessing something they consider romantic. They'll love the ballet since there's bound to be some romance. "Momma, bring Lenny please," Caspian says, tugging on her dress and breaking their kiss. Soarynn gives him a sad smile and shakes her head, "Lenny can't come, darling," she explains, crouching down to be at their son's level, "he has to stay home."

Caspian pouts and Coriolanus can see that his son is already on the verge of tears which they cannot afford if they plan on making it out the door on time. "You know, Cecil will be there tonight Cas," he reminds his son, "so you'll have lots of company."

The Snows will be joining the Creeds at the ballet tonight and Festus phoned him just this morning to tell him that their son Cecil would be in attendance. Caspian and Cecil are two months apart in age and love to toddle around together whenever the families get together.

Sure enough, Caspian lights up at the idea of seeing his friend at the ballet, and the tears are kept at bay. Soarynn whispers a few more encouraging words to their youngest child before kissing his cheek. While the girls have Coriolanus wrapped around their fingers, Caspian has Soarynn in the palm of his hand.

Soarynn always denies such claims, arguing that boys should be raised with a very involved mother so they grow up into proper gentlemen but Coriolanus knows that she's only telling half the truth. The other half is that she simply adores Caspian, her only son and last child. He's a spitting image of Coriolanus with his bright blue eyes and golden curls and Soarynn can't help but dote on him.

Caspian allows her to pick him up and Coriolanus turns back to the girls, "Are we ready to go then?" They both nod, bouncing on their toes, "Yes!"

Soarynn dressed both the girls in the same outfit and they look nearly identical. Ceraphina looks more like Soarynn with her wavy hair and blue-gray eyes and Celeste seems to be a mix of her parents with her blond curls and blue eyes. They're so close in age that people often have trouble telling them apart.

"Alright," he says, "I expect you girls to be on your best behavior," he warns, "no fighting, no fussing, no arguing. Or Santa won't come and bring you any presents."

Their eyes widen at the threat and Soarynn nudges him with her elbow, "Really?" She whispers, not looking too pleased with the threat, "I've just secured us perfect behavior for tonight darling," he insists, resting his hand on her back, "now let's go enjoy the ballet."

꧁ ꧂

They arrive at the theater with ten minutes to spare.

While they made it out of the door on time, Coriolanus hadn't anticipated the traffic that Christmas Eve would bring. But they made it and that's all that matters. The Snow family follows an usher down the lavishly decorated hallway to their private box and the girls are teeming with excitement.

"Here you are Mr. Snow, please don't hesitate to ask for assistance should you need any," the young man says to Coriolanus, bowing at the waist. Coriolanus grunts and Soarynn gives the man a kind smile, "Thank you," she says, "and Merry Christmas."

Coriolanus opens the door to their box and the Creeds are already seated. "Look who finally showed up," Festus jokes, rising from his seat. Coriolanus rolls his eyes, stepping to the side so the rest of his family can come inside. The girls walk in first, amazed at all the ornate details and light fixtures.

"Hello Mr. Creed," Ceraphina says once she tears her focus away from the opulence that comes with being a Snow. Coriolanus is more than pleased with how polite his children are at such a young age and watches them shake his good friend's hand before making their way over to his wife, Persephone.

"Oh, Festus, you look so handsome," Soarynn says, the last to enter the small room, "we're so glad you all could join us tonight." Festus smiles and greets Soarynn with the expected kiss on the cheek and gives Caspian a wink, "It took some convincing to get Persephone out of the house but we made it," he says with a sigh.

Coriolanus knows exactly why it's been so hard to get Persephone out of the house the past month, it's because she's pregnant and is at the stage where everything is uncomfortable and too loud. But she seems to be in good spirits when he looks over at her talking to the girls.

"Well, I'm sure she's ready for your second baby boy to be here," Soarynn replies, a fond look in her eyes while holding Caspian. "Cecil," is all Caspian says, looking around for his own friend.

"Cecil is right over there," Festus points at his wife, "he keeps trying to sit in his mother's lap but his little brother takes up quite a bit of room." Soarynn sighs and Coriolanus can see her remembering what it was like being pregnant. Unlike some women, Soarynn loved being pregnant, she would've carried Persephone's baby if she could've.

She gives Coriolanus a hopeful look and he's quick to shake his head, "Absolutely not," he tells her before she can start planning for a fourth child, "we are three and done."

Festus chuckles and pats Coriolanus on the back, "That's what I told Persephone, one and done and now look at us."

Soarynn goes over to her good friend and Coriolanus doesn't feel any better when he sees Soarynn rest a hand on her protruding baby bump, "We don't need any more children," Coriolanus says, more to himself than to Festus. They really don't. Soarynn has given him three perfect children, why have another and ruin their odds?

He's always had a healthy fear of pregnancy, more so the birth since his own mother tragically died giving birth to his little sister who also died. Watching Soarynn push all three of their children out was terrifying even though she did it tremendously well.

He can't risk losing her.

"I suppose it's up to fate really, now why don't we order a drink and sit down," Festus suggests. Coriolanus nods in agreement, a drink is just what he needs right now. The two men place an order for two glasses of bourbon before going to their seats where Coriolanus properly greets Persephone and Cecil who is in fact, trying to sit in her lap.

"He's soaking in his last days as an only child," Persephone explains, rubbing her stomach, "and his days are numbered."

Ceraphina rests her hands on the edge of the balcony, peering down at the stage and the other people who will be watching the show, "Was I an only child Daddy?"

Coriolanus rests a hand on Soarynn's knee, leaning back into his seat, "You were sweetheart," he answers, "but only for a little while." Ceraphina and Celeste are barely a year apart due to how quickly Soarynn got pregnant after giving birth to Ceraphina. She was far too young to understand what was going on around her before her little sister arrived.

"Ceraphina darling, come sit down," Soarynn says, patting the empty seat next to her. Ceraphina does as she's told and sits down next to Soarynn with Celeste to her left. Coriolanus looks to his right where Festus is sitting and then Persephone and a struggling Cecil who's determined to sit in his mother's lap.

Festus shake his head at the sight, "He's a bit of a slow learner."

Coriolanus is glad that Caspian is a quiet toddler who doesn't ever put up much of a fuss. He looks very content in Soarynn's lap, his head resting on her chest. Soarynn dressed him in a little green suit and even slicked back his curls the same way Coriolanus does to his own curls.

The lights finally dim and a hush falls over the room. The girls whisper to each other, on the edge of their seats for the show to start. "Here are your drinks," an attendant says quietly from behind them. Coriolanus turns and gladly takes both glasses of bourbon and hands on to Festus who grins, "To a happy holiday," Festus whispers. Coriolanus taps his glass against his, "And to many more," he whispers back.

He looks at Soarynn who seems so content with this life they've created, Caspian in her lap while she holds Ceraphina's hand.

Yes, he decides, bringing the glass to his lips, to many more moments like this.

꧁ ꧂

The girls chatter about the ballet the whole time during dinner as if everyone wasn't just there to witness it.

But Coriolanus doesn't mind, he's simply pleased with their good behavior and proper manners. Caspian has behaved exceptionally well tonight too, not putting up any fuss despite staying up past his bedtime. Both little boys are sitting in their parent's laps, keeping themselves occupied by playing with the napkins.

"I honestly can't wait for him to start going to school," Festus admits, running a hand over Cecil's curls. With Persephone carrying a child already, Cecil landed in his father's lap and it's quite amusing to see Festus Creed with a child in his lap, especially after seeing him make a fool of himself when they were younger.

Coriolanus thinks back to his own days at the Academy, he was a stellar student and that's where he met Soarynn. She was in his art class and he was tragically doomed when it came to being creative. Soarynn had so sweetly offered to help and Coriolanus was also tragically doomed to fall in love with her. He asked her out on a date and the rest was history.

He wishes he could go back in time and tell his younger self that everything worked out in the end, they married the girl, had three children, and were more successful than ever.

"I like school," Ceraphina chimes in, finally talking about something else rather than the ballet. Soarynn nods and smiles, "Yes you do darling, and next year Celeste will join you."

Celeste perks up at the mention of her attending the Academy next year. The Academy is the most prestigious school in the Capitol. If you want your children to have a successful future then you'll pay the whopping tuition and send them there for the next twelve years or so.

The Snows will obviously be sending all three of their children there but Coriolanus knows how much Soarynn will miss her days filled with arts and crafts and reading stories. No wonder she wants another baby.

"Tuition has gone up hasn't it?" Persephone asks and Coriolanus grunts, reaching for his glass of wine if he's going to have to talk about money, "It certainly has," he confirms, "it goes up every year."

Soarynn places her hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze, "But we're paying for a proper education for all three of our children," she sweetly reminds him. She has a point but it doesn't change the fact that Coriolanus will at some point be paying for three tuitions, not to mention sports, extracurricular activities, uniforms, and who knows what else. And they always make donations on top of that.

Soarynn has always insisted on donating to the school, as if they don't already run him dry but he supposes that it sounds like a great idea when she's not the one working every day.

"I can get a job to help," Ceraphina quickly offers, "I'm good at counting." All the adults chuckle at her naive way of thinking, so innocent and sweet, "That won't be necessary darling," Coriolanus assures her, "we can afford all the tuitions in the world."

Persephone changes the topic to a possible trip to District Four but Coriolanus keeps his focus on Soarynn who's holding a now-sleeping Caspian in her lap. He might make jokes about being the sole breadwinner in their family but after all she's given him, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Soarynn has given him something that money could never buy. She gave him a family, a legacy, a purpose.

If she were a gift then she'd be priceless.

꧁ ꧂

"Let's put the cookies over here girls."

Coriolanus watches Soarynn and the girls carry a plate of cookies into the living room where their Christmas tree is, getting ready for Santa to visit their penthouse.

"Will Santa be able to get in our apartment?" Celeste asks, sticking her head into their fireplace that Coriolanus hasn't used in about ten years. Soarynn decorated it with stockings and garlands but Celeste looks skeptical about how Santa will be getting into their penthouse tonight.

"Of course, he will," Coriolanus answers, "Santa finds a way to get into everyone's house."

There are many things that one can never prepare for when becoming a parent but Coriolanus was never prepared for Santa. It started when Ceraphina was two and actually was able to grasp the concept of Christmas and Santa and they've kept it up ever since.

"Now we leave these here for Santa to eat when he comes later tonight," Soarynn explains to the children, "then in the morning, we can wake up and open our presents." Caspian bounces on his toes, gripping the coffee table for support, "Santa comes now!"

Soarynn grins and pushes the plate in the middle of the table, "He only comes once you're sleeping Cas," she reminds their son, "so we all have to go to sleep now."

Coriolanus knows that the girls won't be able to sleep a wink tonight but Caspian can sleep through anything, a trait he inherited from his mother. The Capitol could be bombed and Soarynn would still sleep through it.

Coriolanus on the other hand wakes up at the slightest noise. Soarynn teases him about it all the time, claiming that he's paranoid but he sees it as being protective. He would never forgive himself if something were to happen to any of his children while he was asleep.

"Yes, let's go to bed," Coriolanus says, holding a hand out to Celeste who gingerly takes it, glancing back at their twinkling Christmas tree. The children love getting to decorate it and Soarynn always does such a good job at decorating their entire apartment.

They all make their way to the children's respective bedrooms and the girls manage to swindle Coriolanus into letting them sleep together. "It's so we can sleep better," Ceraphina explains, climbing into her canopy bed. Celeste nods and grunts, having to use a little more effort to climb onto the bed, "Yep, we've gotta sleep together 'cause we'll fall asleep quicker Daddy."

Coriolanus gives her a boost and a knowing look, "Really? Well, Santa will know if you're not asleep," he reminds them, "and he won't come unless everyone is sleeping."

The girls get under the covers and look up at him with wide eyes, hanging onto his every word, "We'll go to sleep," Celeste promises, "and then we'll come wake you and Mommy up in the morning!"

Coriolanus does his best to look excited about the early wakeup call he'll be getting at the crack of dawn from his children. The girls normally sleep until either he or Soarynn wakes them up but Christmas calls for a special occasion.

"We'll be looking forward to that. Now close your eyes and go to sleep hmm?"

Coriolanus leans down, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads the way he does every night, "Goodnight Daddy."

Coriolanus smiles, smoothing down Ceraphina's hair, "Goodnight my princesses, I'll see you in the morning."

After making sure that they're all tucked in, Coriolanus quietly pads to the doors and turns off the light, looking back to make sure that they're actually asleep and not pretending. He fell for that before and he's never going to fall for it again.

Soarynn appears in the doorway just as he's about to leave and she peeks into their room, a fond look in her eyes, "Goodnight girls," she whispers, blowing them a kiss, "we'll see you in the morning."

Coriolanus wraps an arm around her waist and leads them out into the hallway, closing the doors behind them, "Caspian is asleep?" He asks while nuzzling her cheek with his nose, making her giggle, "Yes," she says, wrapping her arms around his neck, "not a creature is stirring except for us."

Coriolanus slides his other hand down her dress, stopping when he reaches the small of her waist, "You know, we could be really naughty tonight," he whispers, kissing her cheek. Soarynn leans into his touch, fully trusting him to hold her, "But we've been so good this year," she counters, teasing him while scratching the back of his neck.

Coriolanus groans, she's always known his weak spots and is so pesky when she takes advantage of them

"Santa won't mind," he promises, moving his lips to her soft ones, kissing her deeply. Soarynn instantly responds to his touch and moans when his hand slides a little further down, squeezing her ass, "Our bedroom," she whispers urgently and Coriolanus is happy to take her to their sacred space.

Most nights that end like this are considered perfect in his mind. But this night is more special than most.

It's the night before Christmas.

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| taglist: @strawberriicakes @wonderlandbound111 @kickmybark @villiansarehottest @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @melodyoflovee @erensrealgf |

[carlottawllms]

Author‘s note: We’ve been on this rollercoaster for a while now. Do we deserve a happy ending already? 🧐 I guess we’ll find out quite soon as this is chapter 7 and we’ve nearly made it to the end of their journey. This might be my favourite chapter 🤭

(Yes, I know it’s not a gymnastics leotard in that header. I couldn’t find a suitable photo tho, so the ballet one will have to do.)

As always, feedback is very much appreciated. And now, buckle up and enjoy 🩷

You were glad that after the little scruffle you and Mason were back to normal. After settling into your new role, you and Ellie had built a routine that allowed you to do your job properly and for her to have the stability, love and care she needed.

“Ellie? We have to leave now, or we’ll be late.”, you called, peeking around the corner to catch a glimpse of your god-daughter.

She was sitting on her bed, nervously fiddling with Noodle’s ears. Her lower lip was pushed out in a pout, and you couldn’t help but find her utterly adorable. When she looked like this, she resembled Mason more than she did on any other day.

“But daddy.”

“Daddy will come directly to the gym, love.” You crouched down in front of her, hands squeezing her knees gently. “Remember? He had to go to work first and then he’ll come watch and cheer you on.”

A while ago you’d convinced her to join a gymnastics class and today was her first internal competition. She was already dressed in the dark blue and sparkly leotard and the matching tights you’d bought her for today. It made her look very cute and very professional  

“Yeah?”

“Of course, munchkin.” You kissed the top of her head reassuringly. “He promised you, didn’t he?”

Ellie nodded slowly, but it was obvious how she was still not 100% convinced so you pulled her and Noodle into your arms and squeezed her before taking her hands in yours and taking a good look at her.  

“You know how there’s good and bad people in this world, yeah? Your daddy, he’s a very good man and the promises he makes? He never breaks them. Okay?” You waited for her to nod in agreement. “Your daddy loves you veeeeery much, Ellie and he will always be there for you. When you’re sad, when you want him to play with you, when you need a cuddle.”

For good measure you squeezed her tiny body until she giggled in your hold.

“He will always be there for you, yeah? Just like me.”

“Wuove you.”, Ellie whispered before she did something she’d never done before.  Your little god daughter leaned in and kissed your cheek.

“Love you, too Ellie.”, you smiled, quite touched by her actions. “Ready to go?”

And this time, the little girl nodded enthusiastically. She pulled out of your hold and bounced over to the door, all of sudden full of energy and visibly excited to get out the door.

Chuckling you rose to your feet as well, grabbed her bag and followed her downstairs to make your way to the gymnastics center.

Most of the other children whose parents you saw regularly when you dropped Ellie off and picked her up were already there and greeted you like an old friend. It was crazy how this parent bubble worked and how they accepted the newcomers into their ranks without much question.

Obviously, there were also some of those overly concerned parents, but you’d stayed away from them from the start.

“Look Ellie, there’s Miss Holly.” You crouched down and pointed to Ellie’s gymnastics teacher. “Let’s get you over there so you can chat a bit with the girls, yeah?”

Ellie’s grip on your hand tightened a little, but like the brave girl she was, she nodded.

“Hey Ellie, look at me?” You tipped her head back with a gentle grip on her chin. “There’s no need to be nervous, yeah? We’re very proud of you and we love you very much, yeah? Say I am very brave.”

“I am bery bave.”

“Say daddy and auntie y/n love me very much.”

“Daddy and auntie y/n wuove me bery mush.”

“Very good. C’mere, give auntie y/n a cuddle.” You opened your arms and Ellie – with Noodle still clutched tightly in her small hands – snuggled into your embrace. “You’ll do great. Daddy and I will be cheering you on.”

Once you’d handed her off to her coach, you mingled a bit with the other parents. You enjoyed hearing what their kids were up to and it relieved you to know that it wasn’t smooth sailing for them all the time either.

No doubt you’d voluntarily thrown yourself headlong into the deep end when you’d offered to look after Ellie, but that didn't mean you didn't harbour doubts.

Sometimes, when Ellie wasn't in a good mood, you felt that you weren't looking after her as much as you should. There were worries that you were neglecting her because of the job and that she was missing her mum too much because of it. Or that her education was suffering as a result and she wasn't being taught important values well enough.

But hearing the other parents talk about similar experiences eased your fears and worries massively.

“Yesterday, she actually tried to-”, you flinched and shrieked quietly when someone placed his hands over your eyes mid-conversation. His chuckling was unmistakable and earned himself a slap on his arm. “Mason.”, you scolded, rolling your eyes at him, but your best friend only laughed.

“Hello to you too, love.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek, causing you to blush as he’d never done anything like this in front of other people before. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he reached out to introduce himself to Gemma’s parents. “Hi, I’m Mason, Ellie’s dad. Nice to meet you.”

The four of you talked until the bell announced the approaching start and encouraged you to take your seats.

“Was she very nervous?”, Mase asked as he sat down next to you. The way his hand automatically found a home on your thigh had the butterflies in your tummy going crazy. He made it look as if he belonged to you and you weren’t sure how to calm your racing heart.

“A little.”, you nodded. “But she was fine when I left her with Holly. Told her we are very proud of her and love her very much.”

It was a conscious decision not to tell Mason that Ellie had been afraid he wouldn't show up. He was already permanently worried when it came to his daughter, and you knew it would hit him incredibly hard to know that she was afraid he might leave her behind as well.  

Children shouldn't be afraid of abandonment. But neither should loving fathers be unnecessarily burdened with such feelings, so you kept it to yourself.

“Thank you, y/n.”, Mason said, a genuinely thankful smile on his lips. “You’re doing such an amazing job, sometimes I forget you’re not her actual mum.”

The music blaring from the loudspeakers saved you the trouble of finding an adequate answer, but the bright blush covering your cheeks certainly didn’t go unnoticed by your best friend.

Just as expected, Ellie did a wonderful job at all the apparatuses, and you couldn’t have been prouder if you tried. Artistic gymnastics was your favourite sport in the world, and you’d always envisioned your kids doing that exact sport and to see your god-daughter having so much fun in it meant a lot to you.

“It’s cute how proud you look.”, Mason teased as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Your eyes are a little misty aren’t they? And they-”

“Shut it, Mase.”, you scolded him half-heartedly. You were embarrassed that he’d caught on how emotional you were, but thankfully in that moment Ellie emerged from the changing rooms and ran over to the both of you as fast as her little legs would carry her and caused Mason to squad down.

She fell straight into his arms and giggled like a maniac when Mason lifted her up and threw her in the air slightly. “I’m soooo proud of you, princess.”, he beamed once she was securely back in his arms. “You did so well.”

Just like her dad, Ellie became shy whenever someone complimented her, so she opted to hug him and hide away in his neck. Mason laughed quietly and kissed her head, before he automatically reached for you and pulled you in as well. Completing the little family hug.

Not too long after, you left the gym together. You knew Mason had promised Ellie to take her for a pizza after her competition and as they hadn’t been able to spend too much time as just them two, you wanted to give them a little space.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”, you smiled. Kissing Ellie, who was comfortable in her daddy’s arms on the head, you turned to Mason. “The usual time I suppose?”

“Hey, where you’re going?”

“Home.”, you shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Mason wasn’t having any of it.

“I thought you’d join us for our pizza.”, he pouted, wrapping his fingers around yours to keep you from taking more steps back.

“Mase, I know you mean well, but you haven’t had time to spend with just Ellie and I just don’t want to intrude. I feel like I’m with you guys all the time and-”

“You are. But that’s not a bad thing, y/n.”, he said, brows pulling together in a frown. He pushed his fingers between yours and pulled you back in. “I love having you with us all the time. And so does Ellie. Don’t you, princess? We love having auntie y/n with us, don’t we?”

“Yes!”

“See? So will you come with us? Please?”

You sighed. He was playing unfair, you thought. You’d never been able to refuse anything when he used his puppy dog eyes on you and from the giggle leaving his lips when you rolled your eyes you could tell he was well aware and playing his cards right.

“You’re unbelievable.”, you grumbled. “Fine, I’ll join you. But only if-”

“It’s more than okay and we’re more than happy to have you with us.”, Mason laughed. Kissing the side of your head he started walking towards his car; his hand never letting go of yours. “Now, c’mon. I’m hungry.”

“Well, when aren’t you?” Your slight dig earned you a nasty look from your best friend, but as he was still holding Ellie, there wasn’t much he could do about it.

The Italian Mason had chosen was a small restaurant. There were several corners at the back of it with slightly hidden tables, allowing you to eat in peace and unnoticed.

Ellie had basically crawled into your lap the second you’d sad down on the small bench, demanding to sit with you. Mason had just laughed and chosen the chair opposite of you both. You knew he enjoyed how much his daughter loved you, but sometimes you felt a little bad whenever she chose you over him.

“Stop overthinking, y/n.”, he smiled softly, catching your apologising glance in his direction. “I can literally see it written all over your face. It’s fine.”

It didn’t take long for your pizzas to arrive and after Mason had snapped a photo of you and his daughter you all dug in. You both knew that the leftovers from Ellie’s pizza would be shared between you two, but the look on her face was more than worth it.

“You know Ellie, it’s auntie y/n’s birthday next week.”

You sent Mason a questioning look. It was a topic you’d discussed before as he was adamant you should celebrate it, whilst you thought that skipping this one for the sake of having less stress wasn’t a big deal.

“Birfday!”, Ellie cheered. You weren’t entirely sure she knew what it meant, but lately she’d started to repeat words whenever people talked to her.

“Exactly.”, Mason laughed. “Do you think we should have a little party? You, me and auntie y/n?”

“Yes!”

“Mase.”, you sighed. “You have a lot of games coming up and-”

“We’re not sacrificing your birthday for my upcoming games, y/n. There’s no way.” You wanted to disagree, but before you could even open your mouth, Mason had shaken his head. “I mean it, y/n. I know you love celebrating your birthday and I get you’re worried it could be a faff, but it won’t. You deserve it, okay?”

Having been friends with him for years had taught you a thing or two about his stubbornness and you knew that fighting him was hopeless as soon as he’d set his mind on something, but it still felt wrong to make things about you when the situation demanded everything to be about him and Ellie.

“Mase, I-”

“Look, I know you might not be on my side with this one, but Ellie is, so we’ve outnumbered you.”, he grinned proudly. “Let me do this for you please.”

“I can’t stop you anyway, can I?”

“Obviously not.”, Mason laughed. “C’mon, you’ll love it. I promise.”

“Pwomise.”, Ellie clapped, no doubt remembering what you’d told her this morning. “Daddy pwomise.”

-

The week leading up to your birthday had been like all the weeks before. Mason hadn't been talking about a party again, and because he'd been busy training and doing extra shoots for newly lounged merch, there was a little hope inside you that he hadn't had time to plan anything.

Him and Ellie had facetimed you this morning. Ellie had looked like the happiest girl alive when she’d thrown confetti and whilst their sung happy birthday had been a bit off-key, it certainly had made your day.

As Mason had practically forced you to take the day off, you’d planned a small brunch with your closest friends. You, Kay, Anouska and Laura, Rasmus’ girlfriend, had met in your favourite breakfast place and had spent the whole morning eating, laughing, maybe or maybe not gossiping and planning a short girls holiday.

“What are you up to after this?”, Kay asked, no doubt speculating that you could have a party night like you used to back when you were younger.

“Well, I asked Mase not to do anything, but knowing him he’s planned something.”

You laughed when at that very moment your phone displayed two new messages from him.

“By the looks of it I’ll be having dinner with him and Ellie.”, you smiled, turning your phone so they could read for themselves.

“I know you don’t like hearing it, but you’re this cute little family and I can’t believe you’re just friends.”, Kay sighed. “It would be the perfect lovestory actually. Single dad making his best friend fall for him and-”

“Shut it, Kay.”, you moaned. You best friend had been going on about this topic for weeks now and whilst she wasn’t entirely wrong, she kept rubbing salt into the wound. Mason didn’t see anything but his best friend in you and you really didn’t need to constantly be reminded of that fact.

“She’s correct though.”, Laura grinned. “Whenever I see the two of you together you look like a proper couple.”

“That’s because they’re both so bloody in love with each other.”, Anouska chimed in. “But neither of them wants to admit it first so they’re trapped in this cycle of-”

“We’re not. Can we just talk about something else? It’s my birthday and it gets tiring to discuss this all the time.”, you sighed, truly annoyed by how neither of them wanted to drop the topic.

Laura gave you a sympathetic look and nodded. “Let’s finish off with one of those cupcakes we talked about earlier. Then you can go home, rest a little and get ready for that dinner of yours.”

“Sounds like a plan.”, Kay agreed, already waving the waiter over to order the cupcakes. You knew she was dying to get you alone so she could interrogate you a little more and you were more than thankful she’d dropped it for now.

The afternoon you had all to yourself was over sooner than you’d anticipated. A couple of friends and your family had called to wish you a happy birthday and whilst it had made you more than happy, talking to your parents on the phone instead of having them here to celebrate with you, felt weird.

It wasn’t surprising and a few weeks back when your dad had remorsefully admitted that he had a work event to attend on your birthday, you’d understood and told him it was absolutely fine and that you could have a BBQ on the following weekend, but now that it was actually your day, and they couldn’t be here had your heart feeling heavy in your chest.

They didn’t live across the country or something, only a bit under two hours away in fact, but it was still too far to make the drive spontaneously or for just a day so you didn’t see them too often. And especially now with Ellie around so much, it had become even more complicated.

After a tea and a relaxing shower, you felt a little better and ready to attend your birthday dinner. Since Mason had mentioned it would be at his, you figured there was no need to get all dolled up, so you eventually decided to put on a simple but cute light blue summer dress and your favourite pair of white trainers.

“Well, well, well, if that isn’t my favourite birthday girl.”, Mason hummed the moment he opened his door and although you’d seen it a million times before, you couldn’t help but stare at the wide smile plastered all over his face.

It wasn’t just any smile. It was that smile.

The one that made him scrunch his nose and his eyes look like cute halfmoons. The genuine one that he wouldn’t put on for journalists or reporters. The smile that he’d reserved for only the most important people in his life, and it would never fail to make your knees go weak.

“Happy birthday, my love.”, he added and pulled you into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, squeezing you into his warm body before holding you an arm’s length away. “You look beautiful, y/n.”

“Thank you, Masey.” Blushing at his words, you dropped your gaze to the floor momentarily.  

“Did you have a nice brunch with the girls? Rasmus told me how happy Laura was when you invited her. Apparently, she adores you and got super excited when you texted her.”

“Bless her. She’s such a lovely person.”, you chuckled. “We tried that one breakfast spot you recommended a few weeks ago, remember? It was so good, Mase! We have to go there too sometime, and we can take Ellie too cause they have so much to choose from even for kids.”

“Will do, love.”, he kissed your forehead in appreciation. “Now c’mon. There’s someone else dying to tell you happy birthday.”

With his hand on the small of your back, he steered you towards his living room. You knew his little girl was probably waiting impatiently for her dad to bring you in, but when Mason eventually opened the door, it wasn’t just Ellie waiting for you.

“Happy birthday!”, several voiced called, causing you to flinch and take a step back, but it wasn’t long until you realised, and your eyes filled with tears.

“What the hell.”, you whispered in utter disbelief; your gaze sweeping over the people you held very close to your heart.

Mason’s whole family, who’d accepted you as their own years ago, was there, as well as some mutual friends, including Luke, Anouska and Kay, but it was the sight of your parents that had the tears eventually falling.

“Oh my god.”, you choked. “This is just…wow.”  

You wanted to turn and thank Mason, but your little goddaughter, who’d done so well and waited patiently by her grandmother’s side, had finally enough of waiting and ran up to you.

“Happy birfday, auntie y/n.”, she called, reaching her little arms out so you would pick her up and once she was settled in your hold, she gently patted at the few tears running down your cheeks. “Not sad.”

“I’m not sad, munchkin.”, you said as you nuzzled your nose against hers. “They’re happy tears, I promise yeah?”  

“Otay.”

The tears only kept falling when everyone around you started singing happy birthday and at some point, you could feel Mason wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side for some much-needed comfort.

Your parents were the first to hug you after Mason had taken Ellie from you. Soon followed by everyone else. Kay was the last one. She came up to you with a huge grin on her face, squeezing you tightly as she laughed and wished you all the best again.

“I can’t believe you managed to keep this from me.”, you uttered.

“Trust me, it was haaard, girl.”, she laughed. “But Mason basically threatened me and I have to admit he’s pretty convincing.”

You spent the whole evening talking to your guests, laughing and enjoying your time with them and Mason made sure you weren’t worrying about anything. Not that there was anything as he’d really taken care of everything imaginable.

He’d baked you a little cake, ordered a large selection of food and provided snacks and throughout the whole evening, he kept making sure everyone’s glasses were filled. And on top of that, he kept checking in with you to see if you were enjoying the evening properly.

Ellie was with you most of the time, holding your hand or letting you carry her. Mason had tried to get her away from you a few times so that you could spend time with the others in a more relaxed way, but Ellie had refused; shaken her head no and clung to you tightly.

It had also meant that getting her to bed had turned out to be a rather complicated endeavour, but in the end, Mason had won the fight and brought her to bed. With the promise that you’d be there for breakfast the next morning.

With a glass of wine in your hand – you’d just refilled it – you stood in the living room and watched as your parents stood together with Mason's and chatted away and laughed.

It almost seemed like one big family. And you couldn’t be more thankful.

“Is someone getting a little sentimental?” You were startled out of your thoughts when your best friend appeared next to you all of sudden. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, love.”

Mason wrapped his arm around your waist, effectively pulling you into his side.

“Thank you so much, Mase.”, you whispered, leaning your head against his chest. “I can’t believe you did all of this. It’s perfect.”

“Well, you deserve it, y/n.” Breathing in your familiar scent, he kissed the top of your head and pulled you into his body a little more, suddenly overcome with the need to hold you as close as possible. “You’re so perfect for us and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. You deserve to be celebrated; this is your day.”  

It was a few hours later that after the door fell close behind Debbie, Tony and your parents, it was only you and Mason left. The silence that fell over the house was as deafening as it was relaxing after hours of chatting and laughter and when yours and Mason’s eyes locked, you couldn’t help but giggle.

“It was definitely the best birthday party I’ve had, but gosh am I happy they’re finally gone. I feel like I’m too old for this.”, you admitted. “Thank you again though, Mase. It was so thoughtful of you, especially to get my parents here. How did you convince my dad to skip his work even though?”

“y/n.”, Mason laughed. “There was no work event, you wally. I asked him to say that so you wouldn’t get any ideas.”

“Oh my god…”, you buried your face in your hands. “I can’t believe it. You really got me there. He sounded so genuinely sorry.”

“Well, he’s a good actor, what can I say? He’s also done a great job keeping your mum from spilling things. She’s not great at keeping a secret, is she?”

Eventually, after cleaning up a bit as neither of you fancied waking up to a house in chaos, you’d ended up on the sofa. With your head in his lap and his fingers massaging your scalp, the two of you were re-living the whole evening; talking about how much you’d missed spending that much time with your families and how both of you had eaten way too much.

Somewhere along the conversation, you’d gotten a bit sleepy. Mason’s gentle caresses combined with the overall fact that it was way past your bedtime meant you slowly started to drift off in his lap.

“It’s pretty late, love and you had some wine before, I don’t really like the thought of you driving back home. Wanna sleep here?”

“Only if it’s no biggie. Don’t want you to have to set it all up.”, you mumbled, causing your best friend to chuckle.

“It’s already set up for you, don’t you worry you pretty head about that.”

“Mhm, okay.”, you hummed in content at both, the fact you wouldn’t have to drive home and the way his fingers moved to massage your neck and shoulders. It had been too long since you’d gotten a proper massage so him touching you like this now felt heavenly on four different levels.

“I swear, Rebecca’s one lucky girl, this feels so nice.”

You froze and your heart dropped when what you hadn’t meant to say out loud slipped out accidentally. Finding out his intentions with Rebecca wasn’t something you’d planned for your birthday out of all days; especially not now that the day had been so nice.

“Rebecca?” There was a hint of surprise in Mason’s voice when he repeated her name.

“The girl you’re seeing.”, you uttered; figuring there was no sense in trying to brush past the topic as if you hadn’t said anything in the first place.

Mason stared at your face for a second, noticing the frown between your brows and the way you refused to open your eyes and look at him. Your cheeks were coated in an adorable blush, and he couldn’t hold himself back from brushing his thumb over his skin.

“Who told you that?”

“She did.”, you mumbled, ignoring the slightly amused sound of his voice. “In the park. She said she’d be around a lot or something like that.”

“Yeah? And did you see her around a lot?”

“No, but there was also that photo. Kay sent it to me, and it looked pretty much like a date.”

When Mason sighed, you prepared yourself for the worst. It felt a lot like he’d tried to play it down but now with all the evidence out in the open he had to admit it and you weren’t sure you were ready for it. But then again, would you ever be ready for it?

“I did go on a date with her.”, he admitted. “But that was weeks ago, and I haven’t seen her since. No idea where that photo came from now. I thought that going out again would distract me from the chaos that my life has become on so many different levels, but it just didn’t feel right, you know? She also was nothing like the woman I see by my side, so I told her a while ago that her and I weren’t going to be a thing.”  

Before you had a chance to reply, little feed padding down the hall and into the living room had to sitting up. With Noodle held tightly in her small hands and a pout on her lips, Ellie stopped in the doorway. Her brown hair was messy, sticking up in all directions and there were also imprints from her pillow visible on her small cheeks.

“Hey princess, what’s up? Bad dream?”

The little one nodded and Mason was quick in walking over and picking her up, hand running up and down her back as Ellie snuggled into his chest almost immediately. “My poor baby.”, he cooed. “Should we read a little bedtime story? Hm? You, me and auntie y/n?”

“Yes pwease.”

“C’mon then auntie y/n.”, Mason smiled in your direction. He held his hand out for you to take and eventually it didn’t take you too long to get up and join their little family cuddle. His fingers clasped around yours gently. “Let’s go and read a bedtime story.”

The three of you were quick in walking upstairs and putting Ellie back to bed. She was more than happy to have you reading her Peppa Pig book again and it didn’t take long for her eyes to get all droopy.

You carefully closed the book and put it back before leaning down and kissing her head gently. “Night, night Ellie.”

“Night, night mummy.”

Still bent halfway over her bed, you froze mid-movement. Mummy. With wide eyes, you turned and stared at Mason who seemed to be pretty shocked himself. He stayed quiet though and didn’t say anything which kind of made it even worse for you.

What was he thinking? Did he think it had happened before and you had encouraged Ellie to say it? Or that you’d trained her to do it?

Your thoughts were running a hundred miles an hour and you weren’t sure how to stop them.

Mason and you waited in deadly silence for Ellie to fall asleep properly before exiting her room and closing the door.

“Mase, I swear she’s never done that before. She’s never called me mum, I promise. I didn’t tell her to or-” Your whispered rambling was quickly interrupted by Mason putting his finger over your lips with a smile.

“y/n, calm down. Breathe.”, he softly placed his hands on your shoulders in an attempt to keep you calm. “She’s not much older than two and for the past months she spent her whole time with you. You’re basically her mum, y/n. Not biologically, but you stepped up when it mattered; when her mum let her down. You spend all day with her and do all these things with her like the playground, gymnastics classes and my games. You’re like her mummy now and I get that it probably shocked you to hear it, but I don’t want you to worry about what I’m thinking okay? I’m okay with whatever happens, yeah? I’ll talk to her if you feel uncomfortable when she calls you that, but maybe it was just because she was super tired. It was a long day, you know?”

Sighing deeply, you nodded. You were glad he wasn’t thinking of it as a big deal and he was probably right that she’d been knackered and therefore a bit confused. “Okay. You’re probably right. Thanks, Mase.”

“That’s alright.”, he smiled. “I know it’s a lot. That being said, we’re both knackered too. Let’s head to bed?”

There was something about how soft he looked in the dimly lit hallway. It made your tummy churn, especially as he still hadn’t averted his eyes from you and in the spur of the moment, you leaned in and kissed his cheek before wishing him a good night and darting into your room with bright red cheeks.

What the fuck?

The evening played like a film over and over again in your mind's eye as you got ready for bed. Mason hadn't been lying when he’d said that everything was ready.

The pastel green bed linen smelled freshly laundered, there was a small water bottle on the bedside table next to a charger for your phone and he’d placed your favourite shirt of his to sleep in right on the foot of the bed.

And Mason being Mason had also placed a fresh toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom. He really had planned for you to stay all along.

Once ready and under the bedsheets, a deep sigh left your lips. Today had been a lot in many terms. The birthday party and how much thought and effort Mason had put into it had warmed your heart and seeing both of your families interact had felt incredibly special. A bit as if it was meant to be; as if you were one big family.

And then there was the big bomb Ellie had dropped accidentally. Mummy. Throughout those last months it had begun to feel more and more like you belonged together; you, Mase and Ellie.

And for the first time in months, you allowed a thought you’d pushed away as far as possible: What if you hadn’t lived in imaginary land, but instead Mason actually felt the same and liked you the same way you liked him?

Everything about his behaviour over the last few months had already pointed to it, but you hadn't wanted to believe it. It seemed so unreal, so unrealistic. Mason Mount falling in love with his best friend? As if.

But what if?

The quiet opening of the door brought you out of your thoughts. You heard quiet shuffling and the closing of the door before the mattress dipped and someone – well, you assumed it was Mason – brushed his hand through your hair. “y/n?”

“Hm?” Turning around, it took you a second or two to make out your best friend sitting on your bedside.  

“Do you think I could sleep here?”

“Sure.”, you whispered as you rolled back over so he was facing your back and – in case he wanted to – could easily cuddle up to you. You didn’t think he would though and a tiny part of you actually hoped he wouldn’t; suddenly very aware that you were wearing no more than his oversized t-shirt and your panties, but with Mason you never knew.

Sure, cuddling on the sofa and in the bed were two entirely different things and could make the difference between platonic and non-platonic friendships, but your best friend was as touchy as they come and sometimes you were pretty sure he didn’t know the concept of boundaries.

Once underneath the blanket, Mason didn’t waste any time before shuffling up behind you and whilst you tried to act unbothered, you couldn’t help the deep sigh leaving your lips when he pulled your back flush against his broad chest.

You could feel his warm skin where his legs were tangled with yours and when his arm came around your waist, you felt safe. Just like you always did with him, but this time there was another feeling mixing in: home.

“Did you have a nice birthday then?”

“It was perfect.”, you whispered. “Thank you very much again, Mase. I appreciate it so, so much. Both, you and what you did.”

In the safety of the darkness, you grabbed his hand that he’d placed in front of your body in an attempt to avoid overstepping the mark, pulled it a little higher and pushed your fingers in between his and when he squeezed yours in response, your heard tripped.

Maybe there was a chance.  

“No need to thank me. I loved doing this for you.”, he said, the smile very obvious in his voice. He leaned over you and kissed your cheek, before settling back in behind you. “Night, y/n. You really are the bestest best friend in the world.”

And with that one sentence, your hopes shattered in the most brutal way.

Best friend. The confirmation that you’d indeed been fooling yourself. The two words that had your heart breaking in your chest in the worst way possible. And the realisation for something you’d managed to push away successfully for so long.

You’d fallen in love with him. Head over heels. Whilst he very obviously hadn’t. What could’ve been a two-way-street had turned into a one-way-one with nothing more than a simple sentence.

Tears were burning behind your eyes. This was what you’d been afraid of for so long and whilst you knew it would hurt you even more, there was no way around the only thing that would help: Distance.

You couldn’t break Ellie’s heart, but you had to protect your own.

[that-culdesac-kid]

So, let's talk about Tamarack and Qiu's "fancy outfits"!

I was looking back at the fancy outfits post from two years ago, and I find it interesting that gb patch said they're for two different occasions, because I initially thought they're for the same events (like a school play or something). So I figured it'd be fun to look more into them and guess what those "two different occasions" are!

Totally not because of favoritism, let's start with Tamarack!

It seems like she's wearing a dirndl dress. The overall shape and design match the key features you can usually find in a dirndl (close-fitting bodice with cross lacing and low neckline, blouse underneath the bodice, wide high-waisted skirt with apron), and I think it'd make sense for her to wear it since she's part German.

While I was searching about this, I actually found some kid dirndl designs that look pretty close to the one she's wearing. I think these might be the vibes that gb patch/the sprite artist were going for? So pretty!

But what prompted Tamarack to get all dressed up with such a pretty dirndl in the first place? This is just my personal guess, but I think it might be for Oktoberfest. It's one of the events where dirndl is usually worn, and the time frame will really match the autumn setting of olnf.

As for Qiu, he's dressed in black tights and has his hair in a neat bun like he usually does in ballet class, so it's save to assume that he's wearing a costume for a ballet performance.

I was looking at ballet costume designs on the internet a while ago, and I think his outfit might be a combination of these two:

The first design has similar-looking buttons, floofy sleeves, and overall shape of the lower part, while the second design has matching belt, collar, and overall shape of the upper part. Though, this is just me guessing and the outfit was most likely created with different inspirations in mind.

Sadly, we can't really tell what kind of performance he'd be doing from his costume alone. My best guess is he's dancing for a ballet recital, though it'd be unusual to have one in autumn since they're usually held in spring. So it's also possible that he's dancing for other kind of performance or for a competition.

So... To sum it all up: we will probably have a Qiu-focused ballet recital moment and a Tamarack-focused festival moment in step 1. It's pretty exciting to think about the possibilities!

[sunnys-out]

Dance the Night | Lucy Bronze

A/N: Based on this request. Please enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also, I am actually going to have a FaceTime date with my own Northern English, defender this Sunday so wish me luck :)

Also, I imagine that these are the types of dance covers that you would post on Tik Tok btw.

Word count: 2823

Warnings: Suggestive themes/statements

Baby, you can find me under the lights

Diamonds under my eyes

Turn the rhythm up, don't you wanna just

Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit is so tight

You can see my heartbeat tonight

I can take the heat, baby, best believe

That's the moment I shine

Lucy and I had the shared experience of playing in an American university. The only difference was that UC Berkeley was my home for my time there. 

One of the things that I did during my four years at Cal that made them special and even was something that people loved learning about me was that I was also a part of a dance group whilst playing football. When I was in America, I found that dance was a good way to maintain my cardio and it was a fun way to keep my mind off of football for a bit. I used to do ballet as a kid and did some hip-hop dancing as I grew older so it was not something too out of the ordinary. 

Even though football was my true calling, that did not stop me from dancing in the locker rooms before games, and posting little dance covers on Tik Tok during camps at the behest of Mary Earps.  The only reason that the fans got wind of the fact that I’m that teammate constantly dancing was because of Lucy, who was filming one time before we played in a friendly against Germany and posting it on Instagram. She says that I didn’t pull her immediately that day but I know Lucy and I saw the way she watched me behind the phone as I danced to Work Out by J. Cole.

During the Euros, it became a thing, I guess, for the main Lionesses Instagram to post my pregame dances in the locker room. One of those I ended up teaching Miss Lucy Bronze how to slow dance which turned into a faster dance much to Lucy’s dismay. Lucy twirling me into a hold was the focal point of the video and I get why this one became a fan favorite and material for loads of couple edits of us. 

The caption of said post, “@bbcstrictly @y/n is waiting for her call-up! 👀” 

Of course I commented, “@y/n: @bbcstrictly ok but actually I would be down, I love love love the show 💃🙏” 

Post win at the Euros, I was getting a call from the producers of Strictly Come Dancing to perform a one-time, special dance. They said that it was some kind of honoring fit for a new European champion.

I worked it out with my management that it would definitely be something that I could do after the World Cup since that was my next objective after a successful Euros run. 

During the off time in the World Cup, I found myself talking to the producers as they had ideas of the performance and the choreography that would go with it. So, sometimes I would have to deny a walk with Lucy to figure out some logistics. I was met with a small but still visible pout from Lucy as she only nodded and would call up Jordan to take my place.

My attention was monopolized once we finalized what song and choreography we were aiming for and of course my new dance partner. I didn’t really know the guy but apparently he was on a reality show and all the girls were after him. The only taste of reality shows that I had was occasionally watching Love Island over Rachel and Millie’s shoulders on bus rides to games. I did not understand at all what went on but the drama was entertaining from what I saw. 

______________________________________________________________

“So, you’re not going to tell me the name of the song you will be dancing to?” Lucy said as she remained sitting on the hotel bed as she watched me change into something nicer than the training set I had been in all day. Eyes trained on me the whole time. 

“Nope, it’s a surprise, baby. Sworn to secrecy anyways” I said as I got ready for our walk.

Lucy frowned as she started scratching her neck “well at least show me who you are going to be dancing with, like what if it’s a weirdo you know?” 

I comply and give her my phone after I look up the name of the guy they had paired me up with. 

“Not too bad looking right?” I tease, as I put on some dunks and ask for my phone back.

Lucy raised an eyebrow and laughed a little, “I know I can’t dance like you but ya think it’s too late to ask if I could be your dance partner?”

Now it was my turn to laugh, “don’t be jealous baby, now let’s get going there is a cafe with a chocolate pastry I wanted to try!” 

I pulled her up ignoring the small pout and muttering “ ‘m not jealous” as I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and dragged her out of the door.

______________________________________________________________

After our loss at the World Cup final and a lot of tearful goodbyes to the other girls, Lucy and I made our way back to Barcelona and just took some time to decompress. 

One of Lucy’s favorite things to wake up to was seeing me in the kitchen making myself breakfast, dancing in silence with my airpods in my ears without a care in the world. 

This particular Saturday morning, however, she was confused because instead of a loose, messy  bun, my hair was brushed and down. 

Instead of one of my old, English training shirts, I was in a lilac crop top and denim shorts that showed off my legs and not my old PSG shorts. 

As she got closer, the smell of her favorite perfume on me hit her nose, suddenly Lucy stood there wondering what day it was and did she fuck up and forgot some anniversary. 

As I turned to go to our fridge to pull out the water pitcher, I caught sight of Lucy just standing by the kitchen island. 

“Baby, you know it’s rude to stare” I tease and followed up with a quick kiss on her cheek “Good Morning, sleepy head”

Lucy remained silent for a beat before going, “Why are you all dressed up on a Saturday morning?...Did I forget something?” 

She rubbed her eyes, lifting her clear glasses as she did so.

“Nope, our anniversary is still Bastille day, uh my birthday hasn’t changed and yours is still in October” I listed them off on my fingers and then continued as if I didn’t leave Lucy even more confused as I began cleaning the counter. 

A pair of arms wrapped around me stopping me in my tracks as Lucy burrowed her head into my neck taking in the perfume I wore. 

“Then will Miss L/N tell me where she is going dressed like this, hm?” She mumbled as she placed a chaste kiss on my neck.

“Going to get lunch with…ugh what was his name? The one I'm going to be dancing with for Strictly Dancing, baby” I say, nonchalantly, a smirk creeping at my mouth as I felt Lucy’s arms tighten around me and her mouth getting close to my ear.

Lucy did not show jealousy often but I loved it when she did. I loved teasing her but she would always dismiss it saying that she knew that I was hers so why should she worry.  But the tone of her voice gave her away. 

“Oh really?” She says softly in my ear before turning me around my back to the countertop now. My face remained unfazed as I nodded, even though I was loving everything about the interaction.

“Yes?” I nod over to the other counter across from me. “I made you some breakfast so ya don’t miss me too much, even cut you some fruit”. 

The softness and nonchalant nature of my voice made her jaw tightened a bit. 

“Want me to go with you?” she said not letting me go, still caging me in against the counter.

I thought for a moment and then shook my head “no” and simply replied.

“I’m a big girl. Don’t you worry, Lucia” My eyebrows raised slightly as Lucy pulled back.  

Lucy moves her arms back to her side, “Fine, but I’m driving you” 

She did end up driving me to the little brunch place and ignored my “protests” of “you don’t have to walk me to the restaurant, Luce” as she held me tightly at the waist, her hand possessively on the bare skin on my waist.

I let myself out of Lucy’s hold as I introduced myself to my dance partner. He truly was the object of every other girls dream…just not mine. He wasn’t unattractive at all. Even though Lucy came literally holding me at the waist, it didn’t stop my dance partner from subtly looking me up at down.

“Well, it’s great to meet a Euro Champion and a world cup finalist, (y/n)” he said avoiding Lucy’s glare through her sunglasses. 

I stop him and laughed, “well technically two, this is Lucy Bronze, my partner, she was just dropping me off” 

Lucy only extends her hand out to the guy and firmly shakes his hand and mutters out “pleasure”.

The guy only nods “well, I’ll make sure she gets home safely”.

I hide the smile on my face when I saw Lucy, still holding his hand, say bluntly. 

“Oh? No, I’ll be picking her up, don’t you worry” the guy’s hand falling limp as she let’s go. 

I give Lucy a hug and planned to just give her a quick kiss on the cheek but she pulled me closer to her by the waist and gave me a slow kiss on the lips,

Before I pull away, she whispered quietly in my ear, “just wanted to make sure he knows who you're coming home to”

______________________________________________________________

The little brunch outing was interesting to say the least. The boy was bold given Lucy did stare him down when she picked me up like she promised. Especially as we left the restaurant but I, kindly, avoided his “subtle” advances of him trying to lead me to Lucy’s car. 

What had been discussed about the dance and from what I could see is that I would be the main focal point and he would be, for lack of a better term, an accessory. I, of course, would not be telling Lucy that immediately, I was very much enjoying the attention she was giving me. 

It being essentially a solo dance made it easier since I have training and I wouldn't have to rely on someone else to also learn the choreography…which allowed for me to work on a little surprise for Lucy with my extra free time. 

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, can you help me with something?” I yelled down the hall of our shared apartment.

Lucy came in shortly with a raised eyebrow “ yeah what’s up?”

“Remember how you said that you wanted to be my dance partner instead of what’s his face?” I say as I move some of our furniture out of the way to make space in the middle all while trying to not hit Narla in the process. 

Lucy looked at me confused and with a laugh said, “I never said that…what’d you need though?”

I grab her hands and pull her to the middle of our living room “Well can you be my dance partner? You know with all the training and all I can’t really practice the choreo with him…so you want to help me?”

Lucy smiled and nodded as she pulled me closer to her and gave me a twirl “Ok, miss l/n, lead on”

______________________________________________________________

My, sweet, Lucia can be a wonderful dancer when she puts time into in. She followed my direction even though the “quick movements of the dance” were something she would have to get used to but eventually after a couple of weeks. She was able to fluidly hold me and move with me.

Narla definitely got a kick out of her two moms doing something akin to the salsa in the living room. I would say Lucy, even with the groans and complaints, secretly, enjoyed it as well.

The day of filming came quickly and out of nowhere and we were filming it in the streets of Barcelona; there was just no way we would be able to fly to England and back, especially with pre-season and games starting. 

I just want to give a special thank you to M&S for giving Lucy that outfit she wore during that one photoshoot we had with England, honestly, doing the Lord’s work. I had subtly asked that I would love to see her wear it again and again subtly suggested she wear it to the Strictly Dancing shoot and I just love it when she listens to me.

Luce was behind the cameras and chatted with the producers as they waited for me to come out of the dressing room ready to film.

As I was led out with my hand loosely in my dance partner’s I reveled the intensity of Lucy’s stare. 

Why? 

Well I had a silver, fringe dress with an open back and the dress came up to my mid thigh and matching high heels  and, well the fact, my dance partner was trying ever so slightly to get closer to me as we were speaking with the director. 

As we got into position, center “stage” in the streets of Barcelona, I look over to Lucy and give a quick wink to her. 

“Dance the Night by Dua Lipa” started to play on the set.  I began moving quickly and sensually and interacting very little with my partner. The fringe of the dress definitely did not leave much to the imagination. There were parts where his hand would find my waist but those lasted only a few seconds.

Lucy watched, not letting me escape her sight and hid her frown as she noted the times my dance partner would slow the movements of his hands once they reached my waist or when he looked me over as I danced a little ahead of him. 

We did not anticipate it being a one take but it was something that I wanted as it was more real in a way. As the music faded and the host came onto the stage to interview me, I caught Lucy in the corner of my eye, and she was smiling so big and visibly more relaxed.

“(y/n), so happy you could be here and we are just so happy to celebrate you and your achievements. How does it feel?” I hold the microphone, still catching my breath

“I loved this to be honest, love the show, and dancing is just something that I enjoy other than football. Uh, it’s definitely been some time since I’ve performed at this scale but it was absolutely a treat, thank you all for inviting me” I said gesturing to the crew members.

“Well, again we are happy to be a part of this and we know that another Euro Champions is in our midst, and I know that you had a little something prepared for the both of you?” The cameras now focused on a very confused Lucy.

I laugh and continue, “Yes, Miss Bronze, she thinks she has been helping me practice for this sole performance but we were actually going to dance together as well, come on babe” I gesture for her to come onto the stage.

The interviewer walks off announcing, “and now for a special dance by  the Euro Champions and World Cup Finalists choreographed by Miss (y/n) (l/n)”.

Lucy finally reached me and whispered, “You little sneak,you planned this didn’t you?” 

I only wink and immediately pushed Lucy into position like we have been doing at home in our living room.

“Maybe~”  The music restarted and Lucy with the biggest smile on her face did everything perfectly. There were some slips in the movement but they were replaced with laughter as Lucy held onto me tightly as the music faded.

She hugged me tightly whispering, “Im so proud of you” her hands finding their place at my hips.

I gave her a quick kiss on the lips as we both ignored the claps from the crew members. 

“So…would it be wrong to ask if you can keep the dress?” I smack her slightly at the question.

I give her a knowing smile, “Dress is mine to keep, but I don’t want to keep it on for too long, Miss Lucia Bronze”

I have never seen Lucy excuse herself, thank all the crew members and wish everyone a wonderful weekend so quickly before carrying me off the set in the midst of a fit of laughter. 

Let’s just say that these scenes from the recording quickly overtook the locker room dance in edits and well it was all worth the teasing from our teammates when it finally aired. 

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Vaggie Redesign🦋

Made my own version of Vaggie for fun! Out of everyone so far, redesigning her was the funnest to play around with. There was a lot to consider!!! Spoiler alert for those who haven’t watched the show!

One big thing I had to consider about was her moth motif🦋. I redesigned her hair to be more moth like, the type that have eye patterns like the emperor moth! I think it’s super cool but also…Angels and Eyes👁️(I can imagine the eyes react with her main one) Plus Eyes in general have always been a big motif for her. I also made her feet more stubby, to give off how they were changed becoming a sinner. I def wanted to give off her coming off as unintentionally unsettling as moths can be lowkey scary lol, but also show a struggle of hers is being more down to earth and approachable to others.

Made her hair SUPER longer for the patterns but also give off how if makes up a lot of her, moths got big wings. I read sinners forms have a sorta punishment to them and I imagine for Vaggie, her hair can’t be cut. It can but it would grow back to the same length soon. So it’s def been a struggle for her along with her new feet to figure out how to deal with, especially for combat. Also replaced the bow with actual antennae and made her eyebrows have more hair too! At first I was gonna add the bow to show her using it some way to put up her hair but with how big it is and adding antennae I just got rid of it, making those allude to a bow instead 🎀

For my HH Gang, I’m going for a Rainbow Motif(I think we all know why), for Vaggie she’s more Indigo. Blue(color close to Heaven) but also a little mix of Red(Charlie & Hell). Also has a lot of different symbolisms that I think work well for Vaggie!!!!!!! And in her old looks she had a lot of blues(many such as navy blue belong in the indigo territory) that I decided to re-incorporate into her look. She’s the blue to Charlie’s Red❤️💙Also has a dark purplish red to show the uniforms she’s wearing is older but still connect her to the Hotel and Charlie❤️🌈.

Made her skin more purplish. I can imagine….back then it used to be gray or grayish blue but time in Hell added more color💜💜💜💜💜

ANOTHER really big thing was her fashion. For my Vaggie, she’s basically wearing an old Bellhop uniform from the Hotel’s past(moths may have done some damage prior, lol) hence the tatters, she likes it as it shows she’s part of the Hotel and protective enough but also not too stuffy to stop her from being active. I def was leaning into her being the Hotel’s security. She’s also wearing straps for putting her spear away, a hooded shawl, which I was inspired from one of her concept looks with ripped tights and boots. Def kept the long fingerless gloves with some protective wrap!!!!!!!!!

She’s also wearing a golden apple(HUGE motif with Charlie🍎) and also a huge symbol shown a lot through the hotel to show she’s part of it!…also added more hidden ❌ symbols.

I was def leaning towards business/subtle military/action girl for her. Talked about this with @a-sterling-rose that during development, she plays around with her look more, finding her identity more. I also wanted to give off a little mystery with the cloak. Show she’s someone with secrets…like being a former Top Exorcist. I REALLY WANT HER TO GET HER OWN PAIR OF ANGELIC BALLET SHOES FROM CAMILLE!!!!!🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰

Gave her bigger lips 👄

Made her X sharper, make it look more wing like. Made her lashes more wing like too🦋

Put more weight & muscle on her💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪 show she’s got muscle and fun fact, moths got stout builds!!!!!!

Also redesigned her staff a bit to look more Eye like and added a wrap for grip(and that it may have been broken in the past).

Gave her a line under her eye, show she’s someone who works herself too hard ant time… and also give off she’s bit on edge about something…

Also I know there’s been discussions about her name, just wanted to say, if I was to change her name, I’d make it Polilla! Spanish for Moth🦋 I like the idea of exorcists being once humans who became Angels! So Vaggie’s def still got her Salvadoran roots! 🇸🇻 I can imagine she HATES when people call her “Polly” for short.

Also done designs for Charlie & Angel🍎🕷️

What do u think? I’d love to know!💖

[sionisjaune]

A short Nico/Jenson ficlet for @penaltyboxboxbox's girlcedes ballet AU... the last image made me insane...

Afterwards, he always asks about Lewis. The sweat on Nico’s back hasn’t even begun to dry, and her knees ache from riding his cock, and her back aches from practice, and he flops on his back, slides one of his disgusting cigs from the crumpled pack on his dresser and asks about her, absently scratching the scruffy hair on his chest. 

“She’s fine,” says Nico. Today, Toto announced that Lewis had made prima after stringing them both along for weeks. Everyone knew he would pick Lewis in the end, just like everyone knew that Lewis really was prima material, even with her tattoos and her piercings and her muscled quads and thick torso. 

Jenson sucks on his cigarette for a moment and then turns his head to the side to exhale in the direction of the window. Nico wishes he would blow smoke in her face, if only so that she could have something to yell at him for. 

“She still remember me?” says Jenson, wrapping his lips around the cigarette for another drag. “Wouldn’t kill her to come around…” 

Nico rolls her eyes and climbs off of Jenson’s lap to hunt around for her panties. Jenson must have tossed them somewhere in his pigsty of a room sometime after he stuck his hand down her jeans. Eventually, she finds them dangling from the bedpost, beside Jenson’s foot. She tugs them on only to discover that they’ve ripped along the seam where elastic meets delicate lace. Monstrous, soul-sucking rage swells in her chest and bursts like a party balloon before it can become anything real. Instead of ripping her own hair out of her head, she locates Jenson’s boxers and lobs them at his face.

“What would you even do?” Nico says. 

“Huh?” says Jenson, lighting another cigarette. He cups his hand around the end to shield the flame from the draught gusting in through the window. 

“If she came around. What would you do?” Nico crosses her arms, but it only serves to draw Jenson’s attention to her tits. When his eyes widen, she swallows and purses her lips to keep the bile down. 

“Dunno,” says Jenson, folding one wiry arm behind his head. “There used to be a band. We were Mick Laren. You, know like the—” 

“I know,” says Nico.

“Then we were Downforce. And then Lewis and the Mechanics.” Jenson chortles. Nico is going to be sick. She scoops one of Jenson’s dirty shirts off the floor—an embarrassing band tee going threadbare at the collar—and pulls it on over her head. She tiptoes back to Jenson’s bed and slides back in beside him because she has nowhere else to go, really. Jenson folds his arm around her and pulls her into his chest. At least he’s good for keeping her warm. Nico slides her leg over his while he puffs on his cigarette.

“Give me that,” Nico snaps. Jenson hands her the cigarette obligingly, and Nico plucks it from his hand with two fingers. It’s too short to hold onto properly, but it feels good on the way down, stinging her throat and curling poisonously inside her lungs. Toto would fucking kill her if he saw. She hands the butt back to Jenson, and he squishes it out on the nightstand.

“You can’t even fucking sing,” Nico sighs. 

“Sure I can,” says Jenson, pinching her in the side. “You wanna hear what I’m working on?”

“No,” says Nico, into his chest. 

“Some girlfriend you are,” says Jenson.

“Not your girlfriend,” says Nico. 

Jenson snorts. “Tell that to the panty collection in my underwear drawer.” 

“They’re probably not even mine,” says Nico. “Slag.” 

Jenson kisses the top of her head and tosses the sheet over her body. She might as well stay the night, now. The alarm clock on the nightstand reads 2 AM in forbidding analog digits. Waking up to whatever shit breakfast Jenson cooks up is marginally better than waiting pantless on the street corner for a cab. God only knows where her jeans ended up.

“Sweet dreams, princess,” says Jenson. Nico squeezes her eyes shut tight.

[moa-broke-me]

Most people's first drag show was at a bar. Percy's was a dinner theatre performance of Swan Lake.

He figured he'd go to support his old university's arts program, after all, he couldn't afford to donate as much as his colleagues did every year, and he figured this'd make up for that. Plus, it was his custody weekend, and he always wanted to do something special for his daughter to make these measly two days a month count.

So, he decided he'd kill two birds with one stone, his daughter swinging her feet on the stool she was sat in, eating her macaroni and cheese. "You like it?" He asked.

She nodded. "It's a lot better than the box stuff you make, daddy. Mama Piper makes hers with adacvo, and I'on like adacvo."

He laughed a bit. "Yeah, it's fun eating away from home, isn't it?" He asked, before taking a bite of his ravioli. It was miles ahead of the canned stuff, no offense to Chef Boyardee.

"Mhm! Uncle Jason, can we go get dessert after?"

Ok, so really it was three birds with one stone. Spend time with his daughter, support the art program, and catch up with Jason.

Jason laughed lightly, jostling the baby carrier he had on his chest and causing Leo's baby to stir. "Zora, they're serving dessert here. I'm sure it'll be much better than anything you could get at a fast food place."

"Really? Even subway cookies?"

"Yes, even subway cookies." He turned back to the baby he was sitting, checking that he was ok. The cherubic little boy was almost two, and could walk, so he didn't really need the carrier, but he liked being strapped in tight. "Raph, you good buddy?"

Raphael cooed up at Jason, reaching up to squish his face. "Coo-kie."

Jason laughed. "Aww, man. This kid is adorable." He reached around the carrier to eat his steak. "Thanks for taking us out here. I know it was like, 50 bucks a person. I can wire you back if you want."

"No, no, it's fine. Just enjoy the ballet." Percy looked over, and Odette had just been captured by the wizard, and the transformation sequence was about to begin. He'd watched both the barbie version and the one from 1994 with Zora before, so he knew the plot, but it was so different seeing it on stage. She had been in a simple loose-fitting blue dress, period-appropriately modest but still short enough to move around in. Now though, once the swirling ribbons fell and the colored smoke and glitter dissipated into the air, Odette was in nothing but a white leotard and black ballet shoes, the leotard strapless and embroidered with pearls and feathers and lace and thin black boning. They were all seated in the front, so he could see every detail, every individual feather draped on the underside of her arm, the otherworldly white lashes and pearl in the middle of the forehead, the thin black swirls of eyeliner on her face and sad, swoopy brows and bold black lipstick forming a pout, like an infinitely more attractive version of an old french mime. The white-dyed tips in ink black hair and rich, dark brown eyes and the gentle outward curve of her nose. The freckles on her shoulders and cheeks, dotting her hauntingly beautiful olive-creme skin. the flat chest and narrow, boyish hips...

He looked at the playbill again, to find the name of this incredible being.

There were two names on the bill, one for uncursed Odette, and one for cursed Odette. He skimmed past the first to get to the second.

Nico diAngelo.

He smiled. "Hey, Jason, you took intro to dance right?" I asked, pointing at the name on the bill. "Do you know her?"

"Him. And yeah, we've been friends for years."

"Wait... Him?" He looked back at the stage. "... So that's a guy up there?"

"Yeah."

"... Wow... He's very pretty."

Zora giggled. "Silly daddy, you're s'posed to say handsome for boys! You only say pretty about girls!"

"He's not, though." I told her, lost in thought. "He's... Pretty. The way girls are pretty."

"Huh... So boys can be pretty too?"

"Yes, dear. They absolutely can."

"So... Does that mean girls can be handsome?"

"Oh yeah." Jason answered. "If you want an example, I can pull up a picture of my sister."

"Jason!" Percy scolded.

Jason snorted. "She'd take that as a compliment and you know it."

[zeasty]

The Recruit

Emily adjusted her leotard in the mirror, sweat shimmering on her brow after an intense rehearsal. At 27, she was at the peak of her career as a ballerina, her body honed by years of discipline and precision. But something gnawed at her—a yearning for a new challenge, a departure from the world she’d mastered. A week ago, on a whim, she’d filled out a form expressing interest in joining the Royal Marines Reserve. She didn’t expect a response.

Yet, here she was, holding an official invitation to attend a training week.

The training facility was vast, its atmosphere buzzing with efficiency and purpose. Emily felt out of place in her civilian clothes among recruits with military bearing. Still, she was excited. She knew she’d never make it past the fitness tests, but this was just a trial week, and she was here for the experience.

The officer leading her orientation, Captain Lewis, was welcoming but clinical. “You’re part of a special group testing advanced simulation technology,” he explained. “It’ll immerse you in the life of a recruit—body, mind, and spirit.”

Emily nodded, intrigued. She’d expected grueling physical drills, not futuristic tech.

The room she was led into was sterile, dominated by a sleek pod-like device. A pair of technicians greeted her, attaching sensors to her temples and wrists.

“You’ll experience training from a recruit’s perspective,” one explained. “Completely safe.”

Before she could ask more, a mask descended over her face. A faint hiss. Then, nothing.

Emily woke with a start, gasping for air. Her body felt… wrong. Heavy. Broad. She stumbled upright, disoriented, catching sight of her reflection in the pod’s glass surface.

A young man stared back.

She—or rather, he—was shirtless, his chest sculpted, his arms thick with muscle. Blonde hair cropped into a buzz cut framed a square jaw. His eyes, though familiar, were sharper, more alert.

“No… this can’t be real,” he murmured, his voice deep and unfamiliar.

The door slid open, and Captain Lewis entered, clipboard in hand.

“Recruit Liam, welcome to training,” he said briskly, ignoring Emily’s confusion.

“Liam? No, I’m Emily!” she protested, but the words felt alien even as she said them.

Lewis raised an eyebrow. “You’ll find it’s best not to dwell on your old identity. The process is thorough—your body and mind are adapting. We’ve refined you, made you younger, stronger, and… more suitable for service.”

Emily’s heart raced. She lunged for the captain, but her mind felt clouded and her body would not obey.

“It’s the intelligence dampening,” Lewis said matter-of-factly. “Too much knowledge gets in the way of obedience.”

“Why?” she demanded, though her voice wavered, her thoughts becoming harder to hold.

“You volunteered for this, remember? Well, not exactly this, but we saw potential. You’re now the ideal recruit—a blank slate we can mould into a Marine.”

Days passed in a blur. Emily—Liam—found himself swept into the regimented life of training. His mind struggled to keep up with the new information and routine.

His body, however, thrived. He ran faster, lifted heavier, and fought harder than ever before. The discipline of ballet was replaced with that of the Marines.

One night, lying in the barracks, Liam stared at the ceiling. Fragments of his past life drifted through his mind—graceful leaps across a stage, the applause of an enraptured audience. But they felt like someone else’s memories, fading into irrelevance.

Liam’s transformation was fully realized in both body and mind, each day of training shaping him more into the young Marine the Corps had intended him to be. His appearance now reflected the raw, disciplined strength of the military. His once delicate, ballerina’s physique had been replaced by a broad-shouldered, muscular frame, toned and hardened by weeks of grueling drills. His skin was now a slight tan, evidence of his time spent outdoors under the harsh training conditions.

His hair, once long and graceful, was now kept in a tight, buzzed cut, a constant reminder of his new identity. Every few weeks, the Sergeant would inspect it, making sure it adhered to military standards. The uniform, too, felt alien at first—camouflage-patterned trousers that fit snugly around his legs and combat boots that left his feet aching after long runs. But over time, the gear became part of him, like a second skin. The olive-green T-shirt he wore under his tactical vest clung to his muscular chest, and the weight of the bulletproof vest pressed down on him, grounding him further into his new reality.

[whostheweakersexnow]

Kendall vs Kevin Showdown

Kendall and Kevin had always shared a friendly rivalry. Growing up as cousins, they were close, but Kevin and his friends often teased Kendall. Kevin was the ringleader, always insisting that wrestling was too tough for girls and that Kendall should try something "more suited" to her—like ballet. Kendall usually brushed it off, but today was different.

Today is the youth wrestling tournament. Kevin and his buddies were ready to face their opponents and stood proudly in their colorful singlets and Kevin was feeling particularly cocky. On the first round, Kevin was matched with Kendall. His friends gathered around, laughing and making jokes, confident that Kevin would win.

"Come on, Kendall. You know wrestling isn’t your thing. Why don’t you just take up ballet already?" Kevin taunted, smirking as he took his stance.

Kendall’s eyes narrowed. She was tired of the teasing, tired of the stereotypes. She knew she was strong—stronger than Kevin gave her credit for. Without a word, she squared up with him.

The match started, and Kevin tried to use his height and weight advantage, but Kendall was quicker, more agile. She dodged his initial attempts to grab her, using his momentum against him. Before Kevin knew what was happening, Kendall executed a perfect takedown, flipping him onto his back. She moved with precision, pinning him to the ground with ease.

Kevin struggled, but he couldn’t break free. The realization that he was losing, and losing badly, hit him hard. Tears welled up in his eyes as he lay there, helpless beneath Kendall’s grip.

Kendall noticed his tears, but instead of showing sympathy, she leaned in closer, her voice low but firm. "Looks like wrestling isn’t so tough for girls after all, huh? Maybe you’re the one who should try ballet, Kevin."

The words stung, and Kevin’s tears flowed freely now, but Kendall wasn’t done. "Go on, put on your tutu and ballet slippers," she said, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. "I’m sure you’ll be great."

Kevin’s friends, who had been laughing moments before, were now silent, their faces pale with shock. No one had expected this outcome. Kevin, embarrassed and humiliated, finally pushed Kendall off and scrambled to his feet, wiping his tears angrily.

Kevin's friends recovered from the initial shock, laughed and quickly grabbed him. "Let's go to the girls' locker room, they have extra ballet outfits and I'm sure we can find one in your size," Kevin's best friend Jason said as they grabbed him and dragged him away.

While the friends were busy finding a more appropriate outfit for Kevin, Kendall continued the competition by quickly defeating all her male opponents and winning the gold medal of the tournament. At the medal ceremony, she proudly climbed onto the top step of the podium just as Kevin burst into the gymnasium to the cheers of the crowd, dressed in a pink leotard with a built-in tutu, pink tights and pink ballet slippers. "It's up to Kevin to put the gold medal around Kendall's neck" Jason said and handed her the medal intended for the big winner.

Kendall stood up, dusting off her hands, a satisfied smile on her face. "Next time, think twice before underestimating someone just because of their gender," she said, her voice calm but commanding.

Kevin didn’t reply. He turned and walked away, his pride bruised, unsure of what to say. Kendall watched them go, feeling a sense of triumph. She knew she had proven her point and prove that she could be a real girl warrior and a star wrestler. From that day on, the teasing stopped, and Kevin never questioned Kendall’s strength again.

[alarici]

For Meronia ballet AU, maybe a back stage moment or something? As a prompt I mean (: Love Reading your stuff!!

content: injury, word count: approx 500

It's the middle of dress rehearsal. Near's demi-solo is almost finished. She's collapsed in some soloist man's arms, not a finger out of place, languishing in the scattered applause. Catching her breath for the coda. Mello watchers her from the wings, as she has for seven years and counting. She's still captivated, as is everyone else.

The final chord drifts out of the orchestra pit, and then the string section begins again--and Near is alive, again. Most of the coda is a petite allegro. Small jumps, precise, exhausting. Even if Near's perfect, this is one thing that has never been her specialty. Where Mello's athleticism lends to her explosive jumps, her dynamism; Near's technique is impeccable, but Mello can pick out every moment here Near could jump higher, could move faster, could do more, more, more. Yet it's undeniably good. And Mello is lost in the sight. Near's eternal gentle smile--a delicate interpretation of the role. It fits.

Still riding off of the high of them both being promoted to the corps de ballet--no longer under threat of being a probationary apprentice (dancing every night, dead on their feet, the treat of 'there's only room for one of you here' looming in the spring, than then a revelation: we want you both, don't ruin it), Mello isn't fixated in her anger. They're playing the same part--corps in one cast, soloist in the other. Maybe, for this ballet at least, their opposite interpretations can coexist, and Mello will practice her breathing exercises, and they will keep a tally of who prefers whose version of the part. The ballet mistress likes you. The critic liked me.

The worst is yet to come, someone pulls at her, a prickle in her spine.

Mello bites her lip as the end of the coda draws near. It's a nerve-wracking sequence to perform. Mello's dress rehearsal was earlier that day, and she'd scrapped by with a few, small, inexcusable errors in the exact same routine.

The fantasy of a moment of peace, a truce, an intermission of repose rips ugly four counts before the end of the sequence. Mello hears it and can't look away as Near crumples to the stage, barely catching herself with her arms out in front of her.

Mello's seen multiple bad landings. Jumping is always a gamble with god. A gamble they make hundreds of times every day. Near's misfortune finds her limping, instead of running of the stage, one more act, forty minutes, in the dress rehearsal left to go. In the opposite wing, she looks ready to run back for the mid-show bow.

Mello doesn't think. She runs. The vast area behind the stage narrows to the opposite stage door. Mello sees her, sitting standing on one leg in the corner. It looks bad.

She takes the razor out of its place in her character shoes, wrapped in cardboard and thin cloth, sitting against the knuckle of her big toe--a trinket for luck--and feels Near's ribbons tearing under the blade, Near panting, weak arms protesting at Mello's elbow. It's the only way Mello will know Near won't go and try to dance on a broken foot--you can't dance without your ribbons. It's over.

"You cut me," Near says. A grimace of pain, well hidden. A small prick of blood expands on her white tights from where the ribbons gave.

"You're not going back out there." Mello can't look at her, can only stare at her swollen foot, limp on the ground.

"Now, I'm not." Mello would appreciate some anger. Instead, all she sees is nothing. Grief? Leave it to Near to start caring now, of all times.

-

It'll take Near five year to thank her for it. When they learn that the artistic director would have been happy to see Near ruin herself, her shattered sesamoid, that very night.

[theseasicksailorblog]

Indie Sleaze: 5 item shopping list

My non-negotiable 5 clothing items to live your indie sleaze truth, written as 2000s/2010s fashion historian.

Ballet Flats

Worn by school-teachers and it girls alike, ballet flats have always been a staple in fashion history, especially in the late 2000s and 2010s. For a first time wearer a simple black flat is a safe bet as it can be paired with anything, but if you want to sleaze it up, opt for a metallic or glitter variation. Something to note about indie sleaze fashion is that the more extra it feels, the better it looks, so don't hold back on cool, funky, flats. These can be found in thrift stores, department stores, and all over Amazon.

Metallic Fabric

Since the dawn of rave/party culture, glamorous lamé fabrics have used for just about every article of clothing possible. Cheaper spandex alternatives rose to popularity as The Cobra Snake era partying merged into mainstream. Shiny red leggings paired with a black cropped tank was peak casual 2010s sleaze attire. A great place to find styles like this is Los Angeles Apparel aka American Apparels re-brand. Though they no longer sell the fun colored disco pants and shorts, the lamé collection offers a variety of shiny colorful items with that trustworthy AA quality. Other places to look are party supply stores, poshmark/depop/ebay, rave shops, and of course Amazon.

Ultra Feminine Dresses

One of the most underrated pioneers of indie sleaze fashion is model and t.v. personality Alexa Chung. While Alexa is often grouped with the Twee (shopping list coming soon) and hipster aesthetics of the 2010s her ability to blend soft girlish dresses with last nights makeup allows for an uber sleazy effect. Mini shifts, polka dotted a-lines, and vintage baby-dolls all work as long as you pair them with unkempt hair and grungy tights to keep the edge, bonus points if your dress has a peter pan collar or your tights have rips. You can find these practically anywhere but start at your local thrift store as they usually have large selections of outdated dresses that were popular during this time period. Alternatively look at department stores, vintage/antique markets, and you guessed it Amazon.

Ringer Tee's and Shorts

Before athleisure was an over-saturated mess of "flare leggings" and Lululemon we took inspiration from student athletes everywhere with the iconic ringer tee's and ringer shorts. Getting their name from the contrasting ring of fabric outlining the seams of the article, ringer style pieces were seen everywhere and worn with everything. Both such versatile basics that could be kept casual or dressed up that you might see a ringer tee with a skirt, or ringer shorts with stockings and a blouse. Los Angeles Apparel has great options for both the shirts and the shorts, places like Walmart and Target often carry ringer shorts, and Forever 21 with great ringer tees, and as always Amazon.

Stockings/Tights

It doesn't matter if they're black, white, multicolored, fish-netted, or opaque, stockings always find a way to elevate a basic look and is often what takes an outfit from mainstream to indie sleaze. Don't worry about buying a super nice quality pair as stockings look best with ripping seams and enormous holes. But don't tear them with a fork like those tiktok girls did in 2020, it screams try hard as a real indie sleaze girl would rip them via dancing, curb sitting, and drunken stumbling. Just like the dresses, you can find tights anywhere. However I don't recommend secondhand as they are technically an undergarment and it's hard to ensure the level of cleanliness.

Spacehey saw it first https://spacehey.com/theseasicksailor

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

Omigod, the Carrie Prom scene but it's Marinette and Kim pulling a prank on Marc after the Akuma Class (sans Nathaniel) organizes a rigged vote for Anciel as Prom King. Marc loses it and happens to get akumatized and uses his psychic powers for revenge.

Marinette: Look at how he's smiling now, that stupid little cow.

Well the real fun has not started yet!

Kim: I've had up to here with all your demands!

You’ve left us all with blood on our hands!

Now, I realize you’ve got a bone to pick!

This was never a joke, this trick is pretty damn sick!

Marinette: I've got one last little beat

And then my plan's complete

For a night that he'll never forget

Givin’ it. Givin’ it.

*Lila is walking through the ballroom when she notices Nino looking guilty while swapping the ballots*

Lila: Nino, what are you doing?

Nino: Uh, Lila! Hi! I didn't expect to see you here tonight!… Nice dress.

Lila: What are you up to?

Nino: Nothing!

Lila: What's going on?!

*Before Nino can say anything, Alya is already dragging him onto the dance floor*

Alya: Stick around, Lila. It's gonna be the best prom night ever.

Givin’ it. Givin’ it

Oooh

So we're closer, closer, slower, closer!

Nino: Mme. Bustier, I've collected all the ballets! Here you go! *Hands her the ballots*

Mme. Bustier: Why, thank you, Nino! This is all so exciting, isn’t it?!

*Lila continues to glare daggers at Nino before moving to see where her classmates are. She approaches Max, who’s texting, and snatches his phone*

Max: Hey!

Lila: ‘Is everything set?’ I do hope you’re not planning anything awful, Max. Oh, and with a cryptic group chat that has… Twelve people.

Max: I-it’s nothing! *Snatches his phone back*

Lila: … If Marinette’s planning something, and you’re all in on it, so fucking help me-

Ooh, feel the heat

You and me and me and you!

It looks as if we're gonna make it!

Marinette: I believe in getting even

That's what I believe (You know how to terrify me with the way that you think)

Marc: Finally, (You ain't seen nothin' yet, you ain't seen nothin' yet)

Finally, (You ain't seen nothin' yet, you ain't seen nothin' yet)

This is great

We're getting there but not quite

We're not quite there

A night we'll never forget

This is great

So grab your date and hold tight, hold tight (Hold tight!)

This is great

The night's about to take flight, take flight

A night we'll never!

No, never!

We'll never forget!

*M. Monlataing and Mme. Mendeleiev are up on stage with a mic*

M. Monlataing: Attention students! We give you this year's king and queen of the Prom...

*Everyone's attention turns to them except for Marc and Nathaniel who are too distracted by each other to even care. M. Monlataing opens the envelope*

M. Monlataing/Mme. Mendeleiev: Reshma Leghari and Marc Anciel!

Reshma: OH, GODS! I WON! *Grabs Lacey and kisses her before running up on stage*

Lacey: … Oh, my God. I’m totally Bi.

*Marc, upon hearing his name, turns to the stage, shocked then looks back at Nathaniel, who encourages him up onto the stage. He runs up and joins Reshma*

Students: Hail Alma Mater

Oh, mother we salute you!

*Mme. Mendeleiev hands Reshma her flowers and she smiles at Marc, who smiles back*

We proclaim our devotion!

And we set our dreams into motions!

Ooh...

*Lila smiles proudly at her friend, but then her attention is caught by a movement overhead. She looks up to see a rope leading to a bucket placed precariously on a beam right over Marc*

Lila: Oh my God! *Desperate for help, she finds Mme. Mendeleiev and pulls her away from the coronation ceremony* Mme. Mendeleiev!

Mme. Mendeleiev: Lila? What’s wrong?

Lila: Please, listen! Something terrible’s about to happen!

Mme. Mendeleiev: Lila, if you’re trying to ruin this for Marc-

Lila: No! I swear! You’ve got it all wrong! It’s not me-

*Nathaniel walks over to them*

Nathaniel: Lila, what’s going on?

Mme. Mendeleiev: I knew better than to trust any of them- I warned you two! Get out! *She pushes them out the door...*

Lila: NO! *She pounds on the door but to no avail, helpless to stop Marc’s oncoming humiliation* OPEN THIS DOOR!!

Nathaniel: Lila! What the hell?!

Lila: Nath, I saw Nino swapping the ballots, I-I think Max was texting the class, and there’s a bucket over Marc!

Nathaniel: What?!

Lila: Marinette is behind this! I know it!

All our heart's beat true

Alma Mater!

Marinette: Kim, pull the damn cord! PULL IT!

*Kim hesitates, so Marinette yanks the rope for him, and the pail tilts, pouring the red paint down all over Marc, some splatters on Reshma*

Everyone: …

Aurore: Oh. My. God.

Jean: IS THAT BLOOD?!

*Some students begin screaming, while the rest of them are laughing Marc, meanwhile, is shocked into stillness*

Reshma: *She faces the audience, pissed*WHAT THE HELL?!

*With all of the commotion, no one notices the Akuma fusing with Marc’s sash*

Marc: *He brings his hands to his face, and sees the paint on them. His expression becomes terrified* Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! *He grips his paint-soaked hair as Shadow Moth speaks to him. His expression changes from horrified, to furious*

I will not cry

I’m okay

I tried so hard

To play their way

Stop it. They’re all lies!

Since she was born, my life has been a living hell!

(A living hell!)

His name is Nathaniel Kurtzberg, mom.

He’ll have me home by midnight!

An eagle’s just another bird!

Until he can spread his wings!

Open your heart!

Let the power in!

Marc: They’ll make fun of you!

They will break your heart!

Then they’ll laugh at you (Malice)

Watching you fall apart! (Anciel)

*Marc covers his ears as he hallucinates the students and teachers all pointing and laughing at him*

Marc: DOESN’T ANYBODY EVER GET IT RIGHT?!

DOESN’T ANYBODY THINK THAT I HEAR?!

*Marc’s face turns blank, yet there’s still an enraged look in his eyes. As the black and purple mist encase him, every exit door slams shut, and the lights flicker on and off until the bulbs blow out. Glass from the bulbs rain down, injuring a few students. Everyone rushes to the main entrance to try and open the doors, but they suddenly stop, turn back to face Marc in his Akuma form, and drop to their knees*

Malice: PAYBACK FOR YOUR SINNING’S!

*He points to every one of them with his scythe*

JUST BEGINNING!

BEG FOR YOUR SALVATION

FROM DAMNATION!

BEG OR

*His powers take control of the speakers, and he belts out a scream that deafens half of the room*

HE WILL BURN YOU!

HE WILL BURN YOU!

*Malice strikes the floor with the end of the scythe, electricity spreads around the gym, causing the lights to short-circuit and catch on fire next to some decorations. The fire quickly spreads around the room. Students scream and scramble around trying to escape. Alya, Nino and a few other kids start running for the doors, but Malice notices this attempt. He reaches out his hand and squeezes his fist and many of the students are thrown forward against the walls, hard enough to leave cracks. Louis grabs a chair and tries to take Malice out but he grabs the chair with his powers and bashes it against his head, cracking his skull open. Rose and Juleka try to run, but fall to floor and die in mere seconds as students trample over them. Malice looks up at the sprinkler system and dents the pipes until they break, making water rain down on the floor, then he pulls wires from the stage. Only a few people realizes his plan and get on top of tables before Malice throws the wires onto the wet floor, electrocuting Adrien, Ivan and many others. He turns to see Kim and Marinette attempting to escape*

Marinette: TIKKI! SPOTS-!

*Malice keeps them frozen in place, looks them dead in the eyes, raises his scythe, and slashes Marinette right across the chest. For Kim, he has some wires wrap around his neck, tighter and tighter until he fall to the floor the same time as Marinette. The fire spreads around him as students wail and eventually die. Malice stretches out his arms, and the door flings open. He slowly walks out, walking through the electrified water and not being harmed. He slowly walks out as if in a trance, not even paying any mind to the looks of horror across Nathaniel and Lila’s faces. Once he’s a few feet away, the entire building explodes into flames, and he walks away*

[jelzorz]

172.

Briella is the one who likes to dance. Brynn prefers music, but they are both, otherwise, a bit too obsessed with their craft than fifteen year old twins ought to be. Brynn wants more advanced tuition, El wants something more focussed on technique, and it's admirable for certain, but even Opeli thinks it's a bit much, even if she was the same a very long time ago.

It doesn't matter. The Katolis School of Arts is prestigious. It's where kids go to make careers out of dance and music and art, and her kids deserve nothing less than the best. They worked hard for the opportunities to audition here this week, and Opeli isn't going to stop them just because she's a little uncomfortable. And of course, they don't know this. Nobody knows this, and there's no evidence here that she knows of to even hint at her long forgotten past so it's fine, really, in spite of the way her shoulders are tense and her jaw is clenched and Brynn is looking at her with narrowed eyes like they know something might be wrong.

"You know she'll be fine," they point out. They shoot a look at the theatre doors, still closed for this afternoon's auditions, and Opeli nearly sighs in relief because it means Brynn is assuming she's just nervous for their sister.

"Yes, I know," says Opeli evenly. Too evenly. She forces her shoulders to drop but they're no less tight than they were before. "You both just want to be here so badly—"

"Yeah, and we know what that means," they point out. "You're, like, more nervous than we are about this. What the heck is the problem?"

Opeli gives her child a look and forces herself to slump in the chair a little more. "Nothing," she says with a huff. "I just want the best for you both. Is that really such a crime for a mother?"

Brynn only rolls their eyes, but that little twitch of their lips soothes Opeli more than anything else. Admission or no, at least her children know they are loved and that she's proud, which is all that should matter, really. Brynn turns back to their sheet music, satisfied for now, and Opeli goes back to pretending the polish of the walls and the deep pile carpet beneath her heels don't make her whole body want to whither away.

Her own days here were so long ago. They did not result in the glamour she had hoped. Her career was not as long lived as she wanted, and here she is again, back in these halls once more. What would her children say if they knew?

She doesn't want to know. She hopes they never find out.

The theatre door swings open, and Opeli glances up too quickly, hoping it might be El with good news, hoping they can go now—

But it's just one of the instructors, clipboard in hand, sandy blond hair pushed to one side, blue eyes bright under the orange glow of the downlights. He glanced at them and pauses in midstep with the grace only another dancer could have and grins. "You guys waiting for someone?"

"Oh," says Opeli. "Yes, actually. My daughter's in there auditioning."

"Ah," says the instructor. He glances at his clipboard curiously and then studies Opeli's face. Her cheeks warm under his stare and, mortified, she ducks her head. "Briella?"

Opeli twitches her lips. "The family resemblance is that obvious, is it?"

"Well, yeah. And your other—uh—"

"Kid," provides Brynn helpfully without looking up from their sheet music.

"Kid," continues the instructor with a chuckle, "kinda made it obvious. I'm Soren," he adds. "I teach ballroom here so I wasn't judging the ballet auditions, but I will say your daughter's very talented."

"We like to think so," says Opeli, smiling gratefully at him. "When can we expect her to come out?"

Soren glances at the clock on the foyer wall. "Not too much longer, I don't think," he says. "Give it like ten to fifteen. There are only a handful of auditions left." He pauses for a moment, brow knitting together in thought. "You seem familiar."

Opeli's face heats again, this time in panic. "You did just watch my daughter's audition," she says levelly.

"Yeah, but..." He hums. "I dunno, just feels like I've seen you somewhere before."

"I doubt that," says Opeli, almost too quickly. It's fine, she tries to promise herself. How can he possibly know? "I'm sure I'd remember if I'd met you before."

Soren chuckles at that, eyes twinkling, lips quirking upward in a dashing little smile. "I mean, I am pretty memorable," he says with a wink.

Behind her, Brynn makes a noise of disgust.

Soren looks to them, his grin widening. "Don't be like that," he chides. "I can't help that your mom's pretty."

Brynn gags so comically that Opeli laughs, even as red and as mortified as she is. Soren only rolls his eyes and offers his hand out to shake. "Nice to meet you, Mrs... um—"

"Ms," Opeli corrects, "and Opeli is fine."

"Lovely to meet you Opeli," says Soren, inclining his head in a show of gentlemanly respect. "I'll see you around, I expect?"

"Yes, hopefully," says Opeli. "Provided all goes well."

"Got my fingers crossed for all three of you." He holds his hands up, fingers crossed in pairs on both of them, and then offers a mock salute as he takes his leave.

Opeli watches him, trying not to think of the way his eyes had searched her face and the way his trousers hug his hips as he walks away, and when she turns, Brynn is staring at her, mouth open, aghast.

A pause stretches between them. Opeli doesn't know what to say.

The theatre doors swing open and Briella steps into the foyer, grinning from ear to ear. She all but skips to her mother and sibling before she pauses and looks between them. "Did I miss something?"

"Nothing at all, my love," says Opeli quickly, shaking off the stupor."How'd it go?"

"Good!" says El brightly. "I think so, anyway. Results will be posted out to us in a couple of days. Are you okay, Mom? You look a little flushed."

Brynn shakes their head. "You don't even want to know."

[thewritingbeforesunrise]

BALLERINA - Chapter Four.

A Jake Kiszka AU

Physiotherapist!Jake x Original Female Character

Previous Chapter

A/N: This is chapter four of the story about ballet dancer Iris and physiotherapist Jake. This is quite short, but I promise you, the next one is longer. Next part will be out on Friday. Consider this a little sweet present to cheer you up and help you get through tomorrow. I hate Mondays. Again, this is a slowburn, but I promise, it will be worth the wait.

P.S. The wait is almost over.

Please, feel free to let me know what you think about this!

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings for this chapter: 18+ ONLY for brief mentions of masturbation and oral sex, talking of physical rehabilitation and medical stuff (I am not an expert, I apologise for any inaccuracies), poor mental health, fluff, verysoft!Jake.

If you are interested, you can join my taglist here.

_________________________________

The week proceeded well and on Friday, the doctor who had operated on Iris, Dr. Allen, came into her room to talk to her and check her leg.

He told her he was very happy with the work she had been doing with Jake and that he was positive that after three more weeks she would be dismissed from the hospital.

Iris was both happy and sad.

She was so happy to finally go back home but, at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to think about what her yet so miserable life would become when she won't be able to see Jake anymore everyday, for the usual rehabilitation sessions.

She had gotten to the point where she needed him like air. She even dreamt about him at night, when she could sleep and she wasn't plagued by nightmares.

One night she had jolted awake from her sleep thinking he was in the room with her. His presence in the dream had been so overwhelmingly real that she felt the touch of his hands on her body and she felt like crying frustrated tears when she discovered she was alone.

The only thing that allowed her to find a bit of relief was slipping her trembling hand in her panties underneath the covers and finish what he had so skillfully started in her dream with his warm tongue and callous fingers.

She was ashamed of herself at the beginning, but at that point, she honestly didn't care anymore.

Every time he came into her room it was becoming more and more difficult for Iris to suppress and ignore the dull throbbing ache between her legs.

On Monday morning he arrived and she told him rather sadly that she would be dismissed in three weeks time.

"Why are you wearing such a pout, Iris? Aren't you happy to finally go home?" He asked her, curiously.

"Well, yes" she replied and then confessed to him "but I am sad because I won't see you anymore."

He looked at her with a puzzled expression and then bursted out laughing.

She didn't understand what was happening. Her confused expression made him laugh even harder.

After he caught his breath he told her, still snickering "Oh my God, darling, I am absolutely not abandoning you like that."

And then he grabbed her hand.

"When you will be at home, we are going to continue with rehabilitation with the same schedule we kept here. That means that you are stuck with me everyday for at least three more months. And when we are done with ordinary rehabilitation we can start something more specific, like trying to get you back to dancing, how does it sound?" He said all of that while smiling proudly.

Iris was mesmerized by his words.

Their meaning was slowly sinking in and she felt hot tears start to form in her eyes.

She didn't think she could be this happy again.

Iris didn't know what to say so she threw her caution to the wind, grabbed his shoulders and hugged him as tight as she could from the bed.

He didn't expect this and neither did she. His back muscles felt so strong but soft at the same time under her touch.

He returned the hug just as tightly as hers, pressing her even more against his chest. Her face rested in the crook of his neck and so did his in the crook of hers.

It was almost too much for her sanity.

His hair was so soft on her cheek and smelled wonderfully like vanilla shampoo. She inhaled deeply like he was her own personal drug.

Iris wanted to overdose on him.

Then, she felt him shift so he could speak right in her ear.

"You won't get rid of me so easily, darling, you have my word." He whispered, his hot breath on her skin making her head feel dizzy.

She shivered at the feeling of his lips so near to her skin and he noticed.

She saw the little smirk on his lips when the hug broke and she had to look away.

That only made his smirk deepen.

He spoke again, his voice, deep and raspy, intruding Iris's thoughts like never before.

"So, I think it's time to help you put some clothes on. I've had many complaints from some of my patients on your same floor about a girl walking around in just a shirt. And, since among my patients you are the only one under sixty years old, I assumed that you are the girl they are talking about." He said that in such a serious tone that he almost made her believe in what he was saying.

Seeing her confused expression, he clarified with a toothy grin.

"I am messing with you, I didn't have any complaints" he laughed and, finally, she did the same.

"But I thought that you might want me to help you to figure out how you can put some pants on when you are cold without hurting your healing leg." He said sincerely.

She had to admit she had thought about asking him to help her do exactly that but, of course, he beat her to it.

He showed her how to do that, using a pair of joggers of his that he kindly lent her. He insisted on her keeping them even though she had her own clothes and she finally gave in, blushing deeply and caressing the soft black fabric of his joggers with her sweaty fingers.

His hands never left her body, steading her constantly when she needed him.

"So you told me that I am your youngest patient here, really?" Iris asked him curiously after a while, when they had finished and she was in her bed again, the skin of her legs warming up thanks to his joggers.

"Yes, you are and you are even the least handsy one." He said, laughing, a bit embarrassed.

"What do you mean?" She asked and he laughed, again.

"I mean that among my patients, well, my female patients, I have some crazy admirers. Last year, there was a lady in her nineties who needed rehabilitation because she had broken her femur. And every time I helped her stand, she would inexplicably grab my ass, and not even that subtly. She wasn't only touching, she was genuinely groping me. Every time, when I asked her not to do that, she kept telling me that she had done that because she had to steady herself or she would fall down" He told her sheepishly, a light blush covering his cheeks.

She couldn't believe what he was saying and she couldn't stop laughing but, in all honesty, she couldn't blame the lady, at all.

"And I am not finished. Once she also tried to sneak her hands to my front. Her husband was so jealous that once he pulled me aside and told me to stop hitting on his wife or he would hit me." He finished his sentence with a wide contagious smile.

"Oh my God, you have even gotten a real threat." She told him, still laughing.

"I do a very dangerous job" he told her with a wink.

Her eyes landed on his forearm and she noticed again the scars he had there.

"These scars on your forearm were caused by one of your patients?" She asked him, laughing.

"No, that is an injury caused by my very own little brother who thought that jumping off the roof when I was on the porch was a good idea. He didn't even have a scratch on him after, because he landed directly on me and on my arm. And this is what I got" he said, smiling despite the painful memory.

"Well, now every time you look at them you are reminded of your little brother" she told him.

"Have you got brothers or sisters?" He asked her, curiously.

"I have got a younger sister, she is studying in Paris now. We are very close. Sometimes when I can't sleep I call her and we talk until one of us falls asleep. But she has exams now and I don't want to bother her" she told him and he listened, attentively.

At that moment, he reached for his back pocket, fumbled with his phone and handed it to her with a new contact page open.

"If it's ok with you, we can exchange numbers so when you can't sleep you can call me instead of tossing and turning around uselessly. I mean it, Iris" he said, his eyes were so brown, sweet and honest that she wanted to cry.

Iris tried to tell him that she didn't want to bother him but he quickly dismissed her excuses. "You won't bother me, I am here almost every night till late, so don't worry. Before being your physiotherapist, I am your friend and friends always help each other." He was serious.

She blushed, but she did as he asked and thanked him.

After the usual rehabilitation he left her.

In the evening, she received a message from a new contact.

Unknown:

Are you running around half naked again? I am hearing some commotion from your floor. ;) J.

She laughed alone in her room and then answered him.

Iris:

No, it's not me. I am completely tucked under the blanket you sent me the other day (I have never thanked you properly. Thank you!) Are you sure the commotion is not caused by your ninety-year-old grabby friend? ;)

She quickly saved his number and got a reply almost immediately.

J:

I am happy you like the blanket. And thank God the lady is at home now.

Iris:

I love it. Thank you again.

J:

Goodnight Iris. Sleep well. See you tomorrow.

_____________________________________

She smiled stupidly at the screen and slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, thinking about his sweet calm brown eyes glimmering in the soft morning light.

Next chapter

Taglist: @why-ami-on-here @sammyslappers @spark-my-nature @jessicafg03 @highladyofasgard @sparrowofthedawnsworld @doodle417

[is-she-suffering]

2005 - Trash Pit Magazine

Always one to court attention due to her rag doll in torn dress appearance and quirky off the cuff personality, vocalist Katie Jane Garside has always been the centre of attention in whatever band she has performed in whether she liked it or not. Dropping into the public eye in the early part of the 1990's in Daisy Chainsaw, the band released just one album before Garside disappeared for almost a decade until returning with a new band, Queen Adreena, in 2000. The band have built upon a somewhat cult reputation and now boast an ever growing underground following. Following the release of their new album 'Butcher & The Butterfly', Taz Miller caught up with Garside prior to the bands show at Rock City in Nottingham. 'Taxidermy' and 'Drink Me' were very different albums, how do they compare to 'The Butcher And The Butterfly'? There's a sort of... oh god I don't know how to answer those questions? You know the 'How are you?' questions? I think it's a lot easier to do interviews when they're written down so that I can be foxy with words rather than spontaneous! I don't know what the albums about really, it's just the one that survived. There was a great storm, some things survived and some things were washed away for better or for worse! What are your musical influences? (A humming noise is coming from a fridge in the corner) Sounds like that! The white noise all around us, the sound of the sea, anything around us, the sound of blood pumping through my ears. I mean I have extremely developed tinnitus so I have my own high pitched squeal and that kind of white noise cancels it out. If you cut out the outside noise I think voices, but it's not that. It's too easy to say you hear voices. That's what my influences are anyway, it's just white noise and pulling out external noise and then figure out what it's trying to say whether it's the spirits or the gods or the fucking nut case I don't know! What's your favourite song to perform? Ummm I don't know, I really don't know because it comes and goes. That's a tight rope as well, if you can cut down these external extractions it becomes like some physic ballet and then you can find it, and it you don't find that place it can become a living nightmare like a pendulum blade. What do you like to do outside of your music career? I'm trying to figure that out right now, there has to be another way... there has to be! What did you do before you started singing? I was a child I suppose. My mother and father looked after me and I moved to London when I was 16. I met Crispin when I was 17, and I always did this, always. Being bought up on a boat we had a lot of time to talk to ourselves and sing to ourselves. You've been working with your sister (Melanie Garside - Maplebee) this year how has that been for you? It's been an interesting year. She's gone on to much better things, for her own sanity really! Mel's doing great, she's doing things with the Medieval Babes and her own Maplebee Records so she's a really busy chick, but it was really nice. What is the best thing about being in a band like Queen Adreena? It's damned if you do and damned if you don't. There's a gorgeous seduction about it and it can also get down on you. A cliché question I know but do you get nervous before a show? Yes, I do I think about it before I go out and it's one of the things you get sick of, I get very tired of it. I don't know if I'm confused about the whole process, taking things for granted and things taking you for granted. I found a stack of fan mail and I think as a woman you shouldn't look at that stuff - I found it a bit distorted when I read it. Maybe I'll see you afterwards and tell you how it goes this time, maybe it will make more sense because I've let the fog clear a little bit and I haven't been drinking. That's left a big question mark so I don't know much about nothing right now. I want to go to the beach and look at the sea for a bit - something like that!

Taz Miller