#but can be tolerable if you know your artist and can chat with them while they do it

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 22

WARNINGS: swearing, mention of food and eating, depiction of an anxiety attack

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: ♡PENED

W♡RD C♡UNT: 2,972

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 21

A/N: I wasn't planning on writing this chapter so soon but on of you sent me a ko-fi and it kinda motivated me to get this chapter done and out.

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©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You flip through the menu for the fifth time trying to figure out what to eat. Hyunjin and Wonseok happily chat along in their own little world about some art movement—you lost the plot of their conversation ages ago when they started about a specific type of paint and technique that you’re not even going to try to pronounce. Changbin sits across from you, absent-mindedly fiddling with his menu and nodding to the ongoing conversation.

“Are we boring you so much that you’re just going through the menu? Again?” Wonseok asks suddenly.

“I don’t know what to eat,” You grumble quietly.

Wonseok reaches over and turns a few pages in your menu. When he finds the page he's looking for he traces the page with his finger until he lands on one of the menu items. "They have fish and chips right here."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd take us to an actual restaurant. I can't order fish and chips while the three of you order...whatever you're going to order. It's like if I went to a restaurant back home and just ordered tteok-bokki...or if we were in the States and I got chicken tenders and fries." You gently push Wonseok's hand away from you and roll your eyes.

Wonseok pulls back his hand and brings it to his temples, almost as if he's starting to get a headache. "This is probably the only time I'm going to get to treat professional idols to a meal, I'm not just going to give them street food. Just order what you really want to eat because you're not going to be able to order fish and chips for dinner at the place we're going to. I don't want to hear you complain about not eating what you wanted for the rest of my life."

You huff out a 'fine' as you close your menu and set it to the side. Your eyes land on Changbin who is quietly scribbling something on a piece of paper that seems to have materialized. You quietly shake your head and turn your attention to Hyunjin who is looking between you and Wonseok, thinking hard about something.

"You know, Wonnie, Hyunjin is an amazing artist." You pull up your broken arm from resting on your lap. "He's the one who drew all over my cast. He posts some of his stuff on his Instagram. He's probably even carrying around his sketchbook in that tote bag of his..."

"Ah, noona..." Hyunjin's voice trails off as he scratches the back of his neck. You can't see his ears under his hat but you can almost imagine how red they're getting.

Wonseok takes your broken arm and carefully examines the doodles and drawings on your cast. Most of them are flowers and plants. Occasionally, there are little characters like the BbokAri he drew next to Felix's message and the puppy next to Seungmin's. There's hardly any room left for anyone else to write anything. Before you forbade any of the members from hanging out with you without someone else there, Hyunjin would find his way to you when he was bored and draw on your arm.

"Wow, these are amazing, Hyunjin! Do you mind if I look at your sketchbook?"

Your arm is returned to you as Wonseok and Hyunjin get wrapped up in yet another art-filled conversation. Changbin is still focused on his piece of paper, scribbling away. Part of you wishes you could pull out the small tablet you brought with you so you could work on editing photos on the ride to the gallery. But you know that'll only cause Wonseok to scold you for working when you're not supposed to. If you could offer more thought to Wonseok and Hyunjin's conversation that isn't just regurgitated garbage from your first-year introduction to art history course that you took back in university, then you could easily join in their conversation.

Deciding to bite the bullet, you sit up a bit straighter in your seat and rest your chin in your good hand. "What are you so focused on writing there Changbin?"

There's a moment of silence between the two of you. He pauses writing but you're not sure if he heard you or is thinking of what to write.

"Lyrics," He mumbles so softly that you almost miss it amongst the noise that is Wonseok and Hyunjin chattering loudly beside you.

"Did you get an idea just now?" You perk up in your seat a bit. "Can...can I see? I won't write about it. It's all off the record."

Changbin's head stays low, focusing on writing his lyrics. It's only now that you're reminded of his inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. The fact that he answered you earlier is strange and probably the most he can do.

You watch him silently as he works. You take note of all of the little things you see. Like the way his brows twitch as he tries not to furrow then while he scribbles something out. Or how the fingers on his nondominant hand dance on the table while his head subtly bops along to a rhythm only known to him. Whether he's simultaneously creating a beat in his head while he works or he's remembering a song that one of the other members of 3racha made is another unknown factor that you wish you knew the answer to. You notice the way he mouths out the words he's writing to himself and how quickly he presses his lips together and shakes his head when it appears to not flow correctly. You can only imagine that this is what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel; hypotonic.

You only break out of your trance when your server comes to the table and takes your order, something that neither you nor Changbin noticed until Wonseok and Hyunjin told you. And that's when Changbin finally looked up and caught you staring at him, forcing you to look away as heat rose to your face. Wonseok took advantage of the situation and ordered your food for you before you could change your mind.

After lunch, the four of you decided to walk around London for a bit. When you were working with Han and Seungmin yesterday, you made sure to avoid the more populated and obvious tourist areas, only capturing notable landmarks in the distant background. With more freedom to explore, you all head to the more touristy areas so Hyunjin and Changbin can blend in more seamlessly.

As you walk along the crowded streets, the earlier pain you felt inside the art galley quickly comes back. You're paying less attention to the conversation between Wonseok and Hyunjin and more to your surroundings. Despite the cool day, you feel suffocatingly hot. Almost like something is sucking all of the air out of your lungs.

"...Y/n!"

You snap out of whatever daze you're in at the sound of Wonseok's worried voice. You glance up to meet three concerned faces watching you carefully.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Your voice is thick is unsteady as you're unable to meet any of their eyes.

"Are you okay? You're walking slowly. I thought we lost you in the crowd for a moment there."

You swallow hard as you try to settle your rapidly beating heart. "I think I ate too much earlier. My stomach hurts."

"You look kind of pale, noona," Hyunjin chimes in. "Maybe we should head back to the hotel?"

You wave Hyunjin off quickly. "N-no, it's okay. I just need a moment."

"I'll go get you some water." Wonseok's voice softens with a gentle tone as he looks around for a shop.

Hyunjin places one hand on Wonseok's shoulder, stopping him from trying to look through the crowd. He pulls his bucket hat off with his other hand, gaining a clear view of the area. "We've been here a few times. I think I know where there's a shop nearby. I'll help you find it, hyung."

"Okay, thank you. Changbin, are you okay watching Y/n?" Wonseok asks the younger man.

Too focused on the unsettling feeling growing through your body, you don't notice that Changbin's already watching you. He's been silently keeping an eye on you since you started to fall behind on your walk. Had Wonseok waited a second longer to notice you, Changbin would have said something to bring their attention to you.

"I got her," He says simply.

With that, Hyunjin tosses something at Changbin and leads Wonseok forward through the crowd. Changbin quietly pulls you off to the side away from the crowd, under the shade of a tree. You mumble out what you hope is a 'thank you,' and focus on Changbin's shoes. They're white sneakers a blue stripe going through them. Subconsciously, you start to count the small holes near the end of the shoe while you place your hand on your chest. You feel your heart beating rather quickly like it's beating a little too hard and might give out at any moment. You apply as much pressure with your hand and take deep, unsteady breaths as you try to calm your heart.

You feel something cover your head, partly obstructing your vision and muffling the outside noise. You look back up at Changbin who is now adjusting Hyunjin's bucket hat that he put on your head.

"Professional idol secret," His words come slowly as he continues to fix the rim around the hat. "A lot of us don't do well in crowds so we wear bucket hats to block out the noise and the view a bit. Fans think we wear them to hide our hair for comebacks, but most of the time it's to protect our sanity."

You swallow dryly, unable to wet your suddenly parched throat. "I go to concerts and fan signs for a living. I do well in crowds."

Changbin crouches down so you can see him under the protection of the bucket hat, a tender smile warms his whole face. It's the first time you've seen him smile since the gallery. "In the past, yeah, but...you have the same expression on your face that you've been getting when we're at the airport lately. You kind of look like Hannie when he's having an anxiety attack."

"I don't have anxiety attacks," You're not sure if you're telling Changbin or reassuring yourself. You can't remember a single moment in your life where you've had an anxiety attack. So why would you start now?

"Okay," Changbin nods before standing up straight again, your view of him is once again obstructed by the hat. He gently takes your hand off of your chest and places it on his own. "At the very least, match my breathing. You sound like you just ran a marathon and I can't help you if you pass out. I don't know cpr."

The two of you stand there for a moment. Changbin's hand is firmly on yours as he keeps it on his chest. You have no choice but to match his breathing by following the steady rising and falling of his chest. You can feel the subtle, yet rapid thuds of his heart beating in his chest despite how calm he is.

Slowly, but surely, your own breathing falls into its own steady rhythm and the strange feeling in your body dissipates. You're not exactly sure how long the two of you stand like that, but eventually you drop your hand from his chest and Changbin let's you.

"Better?"

You slowly nod your head. Most of your discomfort is gone, but you still feel jittery. Almost as if you injected straight caffeine into your bloodstream. "Yeah, I just need to sit down."

Changbin doesn't ask further questions and instead leads you to the small grassy area near the tree and urges you to sit. He joins you on the grass, falling back into silence. Now that you're relatively back to normal, you can't help but avoid looking at Changbin. You're more thankful for the hat now that it can help you avoid his gaze.

The two of you sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Wonseok and Hyunjin find you. Hyunjin is about to question why you're wearing his hat before Changbin stands up and pulls Hyunjin to the side for a moment to talk to him.

Wonseok takes one of the empty spots beside you and rummages through the plastic bag he brought back with you. He pulls out a water bottle and a small metal tin and hands them to you. "I watched a TikTok ages ago and a doctor on there said that mint is supposed to be good for an upset stomach."

"Thank you," You smile tiredly at Wonseok.

Hyunjin and Changbin make their way back to you. Hyunjin takes the other open spot next to you while Changbin sits on the other side of him. They're quiet for a moment while you continue to drink your water and eat the mints that Wonseok bought. Wonseok passes out the other water bottles from his bag to Hyunjin and Changbin.

Surprisingly, Changbin breaks the silence first, asking if the store that Wonseok and Hyunjin went to was crowded. Then the conversation shifted to what everyone planned to do later. Wonseok tells them about your now tentative dinner plans, which leads to an argument. You change the subject to see what the newlywed couple of the group had planned. The conversation shifts again, this time to souvenirs that all of you want to get. Which of course leads to another teasing argument that ends with Wonseok trying to make you spill water on yourself.

"You two are such a cute couple. How long hav--"

You choke on your water as Hyunjin's words catch you off guard and trickle down the wrong pipe. Wonseok has his own visceral reaction, one that you don't see but you can hear the sound of him gagging at the question. Still, Wonseok slaps your back to help you get the water out.

"We--are not--dating." You choke out as you try to regain your composure.

"Y/n is like my little sister," Wonseok adds as he drops his hand back to his side.

Both Hyunjin and Changbin have confused expressions as they watch the two of you. Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth like a fish as he lets out confused babbles. "Sorry, I just thought...you two are...when..."

"Wonseok hyung is older than you but you two talk casually. Plus you're so close." Changbin says finally. Hyunjin shuts his mouth and nods quickly, agreeing with Changbin's reasoning.

"That's because Wonnie is a pathological liar--ouch!" You rub the spot on your leg where Wonseok hit you and glare at him. Although, you're not sure he saw your face through the hat.

"Stop telling people that I'm a pathological liar." You don't have to see to know that he's rolling his eyes. Wonseok shifts a bit and faces Hyunjin and Changbin. "I enlisted right after I graduated high school to get my military service over with. I ended up liking it so much that I stayed for two more years. When I finally enrolled in university, I was so much older than everyone in my classes that I just never mentioned how old I was. I met Y/n our senior year during our internship so I never said anything. She didn't know that I was older until we got our official IDs with our birth year on them."

"And he's so much older," You crack a smile.

"Stop that, I'm only 3 years older than you."

"Whatever," You wave him off as you turn back to the two younger men. "Besides, we're really like family. His parents treat us like siblings."

"Plus I have a girlfriend."

"And he has a girlfri..." Your voice falters in the middle of your sentence as you think about it for a moment. You turn to Wonseok and blink for a moment as you try to process what's happening. "You got a girlfriend? You actually got a woman to talk to you? Romantically? Who is it? Do I know her?"

His lips form a line so tight that the skin around them turns white while he tries to think. You flip part of the bucket hat up so you can see his have better. He's looking down at a blade of grass, contemplating something before he meets your eyes. "Frankie,"

"My Frankie?"

"Well, technically our Frankie but yeah." He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

"Oh," Your heart rapidly sinks to the bottom of your stomach.

You physically bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking a million questions. Knowing that your best friends are dating behind your back hurts. Especially when there's an unspoken agreement against keeping secrets. So why did…

"I'm going to throw this all away and then we can explore a bit more." You get up quickly and take everyone's now empty water bottle.

If you stay where you are and continue to let your mind wander any further, you're going to either say something rude to Wonseok or burst into tears. You're happy that your friends found happy relationships. But they kept it from you and the idea of that doesn't feel good in your head or your heart.

"Noona--"

Wonseok puts his arm out, preventing Changbin from going after you. You're out of ear range as you walk quickly to the trashcan. Wonseok turns to both younger men and shares a small smile. "I get it but if you try to comfort Y/n when she's upset, it's going to become a bigger issue. Trust me, she hate when people see her upset or cry. Just let her have a moment and then she'll be okay."

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[idontplaytrack]

AGH

I'm obsessed with regressed Janis so...

Regina, Janis, and the gang go out. And Janis slips and goes non-verbal so no one knows/can really tell.

Idk

:D I love you and your work so very much, you have so much skill. Truly my favorite writer ever!!!

Fade into you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: Regina snaps at Janis, fluff, age regression

‘Fade into you

Strange you never knew’

Hearing the crowds of rowdy students around them who were either joking or discussing their weekend plans, Janis couldn’t wait to get out of school grounds. The past week has been filled with quizzes and at home? Janis’ father has been arguing with her mom about every little thing— absolutely just picking a fight when there was no need for that. Janis detested having to go home to that…chaos. So often times, she spent her afternoons at the park or the public library, only arriving home just in time for bed. The girl truly did everything in her power to avoid interacting with her parents. Her mom was okay, well— Janis was really close to her mom. Her father was the problem: almost always having a drink in hand, treating women like they were supposed to wait on him hand and foot, like women were only supposed to be housewives and babymakers. Janis loathed him, Janis couldn’t have her own voice around him…they kind of just co-existed, with one person having no acknowledgement for the other. How’d this start? The bunsen burner incident that led to Janis being kicked out of school for the remainder of that year. Kawaika immediately saw her as malevolent. Like some evil incarnate, and actually cried and asked what happened to ‘the good little girl he raised’. From that day on, Janis decided she was done playing nice. She only tolerated him. Her mom Alohi, fought to get a separation but he never wanted to sign the papers, and claimed he didn’t want to break up a perfectly fine family. This family’s been far from fine as long as Janis could remember, but the more she cared, the sadder she became, the angrier she was. So, eventually, Janis became…numb. Nothing scared her anymore. Losing her best friend was rock bottom for the Hawaiian artist.

She sat in a corner of the library, cozy and with her art supplies spread out before her so she could continue working on her current piece. Lost in her own little world, earphones allowing her to listen to her favourite playlist, Janis was startled when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey.” Regina slid into the chair next to hers. Janis smiled softly, “Hi.”

“Doing okay?” Regina asked quietly, “You left school so quick I didn’t even see where you were headed. Luckily we have your location.”

Yeah, that’s right. Regina was now her girlfriend. And has been for the last six months. They talked and worked things out, eventually admitting their feelings for each other and deciding to start dating after years of being apart.

Janis’ shoulders slouched, then she resumed working on her art. She didn’t want to look at Regina anymore, or Damian, who was standing next to the blonde. “You wanna go to the mall? Have some lunch? You barely ate anything at school today.”

Janis didn’t say anything but began to pack up her stuff. Slinging her backpack on her shoulder, she stood up and walked towards the door. Regina took the smaller girl’s hand in her own, and Damian followed close behind them both while they headed for Regina’s Jeep. No, correction— Gretchen’s BMW X5 SUV. Regina opened the door and Janis wordlessly got in. Damian got in last, after Regina did. Gretchen greeted Janis warmly, but the girl didn’t even do anything as much as a nod back. Gretchen didn’t take that to heart and just let her be. While the rest of the group chatted away, Janis tuned out the noise and drifted off to sleep. Last thing she heard was that Cady would meet them there since she was taking Aaron’s car instead.

Janis didn’t even register it, but she was then somehow in the mall’s food court with her friends, clinging onto her girlfriend’s arm while they all decided what to eat. Regina felt the weight and looked down at her side, “You okay, baby?” The blonde squinted, both puzzled and concerned. It was unusual for Janis to be this quiet, at first she thought Janis was just tired. And she was, but there seemed to be more to it…considering this level of clinginess. Janis finally responded, even though it was just a nod. “Let’s go get our food, okay? Then after that we can go look at some toys before going home?”

Janis continued following the taller girl around, their friends didn’t even bat an eye. The couple wound up sharing some Panda Express. Janis definitely did not want to talk so Regina didn’t force it…as much as she would rather have the girl be talking her ear off. This silence felt tense. Regina didn’t like it. But at least none of their friends were being annoying about it. Gretchen scooted closer to try to chat, still, Janis didn’t even join in the conversation. She had no clue what they were even chatting about now. All Janis knew was that she wanted to eat so she wasn’t hungry, look at some toys at the store and go home with Regina to cuddle.

Gretchen frowned, handing the Hawaiian a peppermint candy. Janis took it hesitantly but smiled before she returned to finishing up her food. “You guys want a ride home?” Gretchen asked.

“I’m uh, taking her to the toy store so you guys—”

Gretchen nodded in understanding, “I know. But I’m sure they don’t mind. They can take Aaron’s car home. Me and Karen will just follow along with you and Jay, drop you guys at yours after you’re done at the store.”

Regina hummed, “Okay, thanks, Gretch.”

“No problem.”

————

Their visit to the toy store was brief. Janis didn’t get anything from there, neither did she want anything. Once Gretchen had dropped them off at Regina’s, the blonde said goodbye to Karen and Gretchen before turning around to enter the house. Still, Janis remained absolutely silent.

Janis crawled under the covers immediately, Regina barely noticed the smaller girl moving around so quickly, so eager to be in the comfort of her girlfriend’s room.

“Wanna cuddle?” Regina asked, already knowing the answer would most likely be yes. Janis nodded, Regina opened up her arms and wrapped them around Janis, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you.” A shaky whine fell from the smaller girl’s lips. Regina rubbed her back soothingly and tilted her chin.

“You’re okay, I promise, bubs.”

Janis chewed on her lips, brown eyes wide and glossed over, just looking into Regina’s bright blue eyes. Regina’s heart clenched as she held the girl’s face in her hand, thumb caressing her cheek. Janis gulped, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. A tear slipped anyway, and Janis hastily wiped it away.

“It’s alright, sweetie.” Regina assured, “You’re safe with me, hm?”

As Janis finally allowed herself to let go of the tears, Regina engulfed her in a hug again. Janis’ face was smushed against Regina’s chest, tears seeping into her grey sweatshirt. All Regina could do was hold her close and let her know she was there. Regina knew the week’s been exceptionally difficult. Both in school and at home, Janis was also due to get her period in about a week. So all things considered, Regina couldn’t say she wasn’t expecting something like this to happen. She was simply glad that the girl now had a safe place to destress, and heal, or cope.

Sometimes, Regina was filled with guilt. Knowing she likely had a part to play in Janis’ regression. But she was also relieved in a way, age regression was a much safer coping mechanism than many others out there. Still, Regina knew Janis self-loathed and isolated until she couldn’t take it. Then…this happens. Janis would reach her limit and revert to a younger state. One where she was young enough to not have gone through any of the bad things, any of the trauma.

Sometimes, like these ones, they had a specific routine. Janis would cry it out then they’ll continue snuggling. After that, Janis would fall asleep to one of her favourite movies in the safety of Regina’s arms. Other days were…easier. Janis was happy and simply wanted to play. There’ve been times were Janis cried so hard she’d get a coughing fit, gagging and all. That made Regina feel the worse because Janis would be inconsolable, but Janis didn’t really know how else to express it other than cry.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Regina asked once Janis’d stopped crying.

“No.” Janis blubbered, voice still shaky and muffled since her face was still buried in the taller girl’s side.

“Okay, that’s okay.” Regina said softly, “What do you want?”

Janis only cried harder and buried her face deeper. Regina shushed her and continued the soothing motions of her hand up and down Janis’ back. Eventually, Janis fell asleep for a bit, and woke up asking for a snack. Regina took her downstairs to the kitchen, allowing Janis to pick what she wanted to eat and drink. Janis happily took the mini pack of chocolate chip cookies and a juice box from Regina then plopped on the living room couch to eat. Regina smiled in relief, quickly joining her and turning the TV on, putting on Tinkerbell.

Now, the silence was comfortable. So, Regina allowed herself to be less on alert but still stayed focused and present. In case Janis needed her help grabbing anything, or if she wanted to shower.

“…’m okay.”

“I know, my love.” Regina smooched her on the head again, “I know.”

“…thank you, Reggie.”

“Always, little one.” Regina chuckled, “I love you.”

Janis giggled, “Love you too.”

“How about some hot cocoa?”

Janis gasped, “Oooh. Yes, please!”

“Alrighty, let’s go make some. Then we can watch some more TV.”

🏷️Tag list:

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[teardropsonmyheartstrings]

OK, I've been debating over this for ages...

Who of you guys is familiar with Stationhead?

I've been listening almost religiously for months now, and I've got questions.

For those who have never seen this name:

Stationhead is an app that can be linked to your Apple Music or Spotify account and allows streaming playlists, so you can share them with others in real time. It includes a chat function and some other little bits and bobs. Artists--including Taylor--occasionally use it for listening parties, where they stream a specific playlist, and fans go nuts in the chat. All good fun. Taylor Nation has an account they use for those listening parties, and they are usually announced beforehand via instagram, etc.

Whenever there is no active listening party, there's still a Swifties channel. There's a whole syndicate that shares the responsibility of keeping the music playing there. They can stream music simultaneously, but only one gets featured "on air" on the channel at any one time. I can't really determine whether those individual hosts are fans, or what, or how they got into the syndicate. But I did notice two things: 1) Just before a listening party, a certain host called "swiftiesss13" tends to take over the channel. Basically while everyone is gathering and waiting for the main event to start. 2) There also seems to be a default host that plays whenever no one else from the syndicate is active. That would be taylorswifties13 (LOVE the 1989 icon 😉).

Please note, that these are all just my observations. I know nothing about the behind the scenes that are going on. If anyone here knows more or thinks I'm spewing utter nonsense, PLEASE fill me in!

Now.

The thing I feel kinda weird about sharing, but which I really would appreciate thoughts on... So, on that default station, the host taylorswifties13 has been playing the same playlist for several months now. I BELIEVE the most recent changes to the playlist occurred around mid November. Specifically, Nov. 15th, IF I'm not mistaken. I'm going by text messages I sent to my friend back then, and my fuzzy memory/awareness of what came before then, because up until then, I'd been listening for months, but hadn't known what to look for. First of all, let me share the playlist that has been in place ever since then:

Note, that since I have no way of knowing for sure, my staring point of Begin Again is perfectly arbitrary. As for the colour coding, red indicates songs from the The Eras Tour setlist. That's 21 tracks out of 47, so close to half. In addition to that, we have tolerate it, which used to be on the setlist, and Florida!!!, which was part of the TTPD set for four shows (London and Miami). I wasn't sure whether to count the latter as a setlist song, or a surprise song, but I'll mostly count it as a surprise song. The tracks in green, are songs she played on her final leg in USA/Canada. Any tracks with an asterisk (*) were surprise songs during the European leg of the tour. Please don't be too confused by all of my annotating and colour coding; it’s all a bit silly on my part, but maybe it's helpful to someone else..? Dunno.

And here's the "juiciest" bit about it all

...assuming I haven't lost you by now.

If you would please direct your attention to tracks 35 and 36:

Gorgeous (track 34) ends, This Love starts playing, but STOPS just a few seconds into the actual verse. If you look at the progress bar, this is exactly how long the song is meant to play. I once tried following it up by adding this song to my Spotify favourites (which you can do via the Stationhead app), but it only gave me the proper version. Very odd. Anyway, I was so puzzled over this almost straight away, but it took me several more months (last week) to think of checking the runtime. Here it gets a bit so-so.... because it's 38 seconds. But not sharp. It's NOT 39 seconds, but it's also not exactly 38. Still. Very strange, kinda tantalising, not quite precise enough for my liking and YET so UNCANNY. On a stopwatch that doesn't show the milliseconds, it certainly WOULD be 38 seconds... 🤷‍♀️ If you are wondering about my reaction time: I also isolated the exact snippet of the track in video editor, and it was under 39 seconds. The whole thing is compounded by the fact that the original Fearless plays right after. The original. EVERYONE in the chat keeps complaining about the "stolen" version. Ok. I get it. But also, why does no one else find it weird?! They are raging, but no one is questioning. In a playlist with ONLY TVs, except the two reputation songs which have no TVs yet. In fact, there's ONLY two rep songs and NO Debut songs. The host is otherwise very mindful of their curation.

For me, the odd skip, followed by this odd OG version immediately brought ONE thing to mind:

This was from Karlie's snapchat stories. It entered the lore officially, when Taylor referenced it in her The Man music video, on the graffiti wall.

Why I think it's relevant and it all fits together?

* This Love (a 1989 song, contains lyrics like "this love came back to me" etc) plays for only a short time, which should raise eyebrows on it's own, but arguably, it also runs for 38 seconds. * OG Fearless (rather than TV) is another way to make you stop and think, but it ALSO is the version that actually was out when the mirror thing happened. There were no TVs yet.

ANOTHER ALSO. The "We Are Fearless" mirror thing happened November 16, 2016. Remember when I THINK the playlist changed to THIS?! Mid November 2024 (15th). At first I thought it was 16th, but I live in Australia, so my 16th isn't America's 16th yet early in the morning, which was when I discovered it. (Dang! 🤣) Anyway, close enough? I want to say "take this with the hugest grain of salt" because I didn't quite have my shit together back then. But in favour of this being odd: I knew about the mirror, I didn't know when exactly it happened. When I searched my text history to find the dates for when I became aware of all this, I STILL didn't know when the mirror thing happened. I found that date on my phone first, before googling the video of the mirror writing, which then conveniently came with an actual date. I was shocked. It just fit too well.

Ok, so far so good.

But I'm still at a loss. As I mentioned before, everyone regularly complains about stolen Fearless. NO ONE ever asks why This Love is cut off. I question on the daily whether I'm just going nuts. Isn't it happening to ANYONE ELSE?! But it has to, as the playlist is streamed. It would mess up the entire timing from thereon, if it didn't happen to everyone at the same time. I'd think you don't have to be a Gaylor to find it strange?!

Oh, and a wee bit more Kaylor...

This really is a minor thing, but did you notice track 22? It just so happens to be the Kendrick Lamar version, as in NOT the exact version from the Eras Tour, but the one from that lovely music video, which features our girls boxing their hearts out 🥵 Not very demure, but feels VERY mindful, no?

I have one last thing to add:

I can't exactly send in evidence for this, as the playlist is super long, but y'all are free to waste some time and fact check me if you don't believe it... the entire playlist runs for 3h03 min (and once again a couple of extra seconds, so not perfectly on the dot, but for a whole playlist that's to be expected). What's that in MINUTES, you may immediately wonder? 183. Thank you very much 🙈

BUT WELL...

Let's think critically here for a moment... I'm either delusional, or this playlist does have "KAYLOR" written all over it. Cool. Fun. BUT HOW DO WE KNOW, that this playlist isn't just made up by one of us? Unfortunately, we don't. Or at least I don't. If any of you could elucidate, I'd be totally thrilled! Things that make me have a wee bit of faith:

It appears to be the default playlist on the Swifties channel

The tracks are very mindful of the TV situation, just like playlists that are coming from a more officially official source: NO Debut, as little reputation as possible, but then the odd one out Fearless OG

This is where the surprise songs come into play: the ratio of non-setlist tracks that were actually played during the America leg of the tour as surprise songs is a bit higher than what I'd expect to be chance alone. I've since tried to come up with random lists of songs and compared them to the actual surprise songs to kinda test this. I fell very short with some, came rather close with others, never quite reached the exact same number, let alone higher. I could be totally wrong, but this list of songs, that was first aired just a few shows into the American leg, contains a suspicious number of surprise songs. Almost like the curator knew that some of them would be played. Dunno. I'm aware that this isn't good evidence, but still something I noticed.

To sum it all up.

This has been driving me insane. I don't know if I see patterns where there are none, or if I see them alright, but the source is just another Kaylor having fun with it. Any thoughts, comments, insights would be MORE THAN WELCOME. What do you think? Is this something random, or is Miss Taylor having a jolly good time messing with us?

[lucidl0ser]

hey! could i please get a matchup for JJK?

My personality is a whole mix of things. I'm an ambivert, INFP, and while I do enjoy social gatherings I don't have a good social battery, so most of the time I like to sit back and watch people in how they interact. I'm hella introspective and I like paying attention to small details and symbolism and what things mean to people and why. I love getting to know people past what they show— I like to know how they think and act. Otherwise, I enjoy my own company and tend to isolate myself— Sometimes I feel like I'm a ghost who people don't notice, but I notice. I like a quiet, simple life.

My hobbies include reading, listening to music, writing poetry/literature and I enjoy ice skating, as well as reading about game lore, or watching playthroughs or digging into characterization for characters and seeing what makes them... them. I really hyperfixate onto shows and learn about all the hidden details and symbolism and all.

My favorite animal is a fox/rabbit/cat (ironic, I am aware), I like the colour blue, and my favorite shows are Arcane and JJK, and some of my favorite music artists are Chase Atlantic, Billie Eilish and Kendrick Lamar.

I hope you enjoy! Written by my amazing friend

You got...

.

.

.

Toji Fushiguro!

•Toji is utterly besotted with you. You both frequented a relatively cheap restaurant where you would people watch or read and he would eat as much as his wallet could tolerate. The two of you formed a habit of chatting over lunch. Most wouldn’t be able to tell from the blunt, crass way he speaks, but Toji is a smart man. Conversations with you tend to take an analytical turn, and you often try to pry what he really thinks about a movie he’s seen or current event, and while he finds it annoying at first, he enjoys intellectual outlet. It's one thing for him to know that he’s not just a brute, but having someone seek out his opinion and counsel makes him feel things he hasn’t for a long time.

•Toji is not shy. In fact, he’s brazenly flirtatious. Despite this, your timidity and his awareness of just how different the two of you are when it comes to what you want out of life prevents either of you two from actually asking each other out at first. You want simplicity and he wants as much action and extravagance as he possibly can before his mortal body gives out. Not that he won't consider reevaluating his priorities, but he had already done that when he quit gambling and settled down with Megumi’s mother. Losing her had stung bitterly, and catapulted him right back to his worst habits and jaded worldview. But as time passes, he realizes that wallowing in excess and resentment for the world at large does him no favors. If you’ll have him as he is, he’ll be the best ‘Toji’ he possibly can.

•When you and Toji are properly going steady, your friends find it absolutely adorable. He always carries your stuff for you, holds open doors, and the like (he’s not chivalrous in any sense of the word, but anyone can be a little sappy when in love). Toji takes to ice skating fairly quickly so you two are that couple on the rink.

•While neither of you talk overmuch in public, you are constantly throwing meaningful glances at the other whenever someone else says something outrageous. It's almost telepathic with how in sync you and Toji are when it comes to communicating nonverbally. Back in the privacy of your own apartment, you dissect other people's behavior that you’ve seen or heard and he chimes in with commentary that is waaaay too judgmental but also hilarious. When all topics of conversation are exhausted, he elects to train while you listen to music, reading or watch a playthrough, enjoying the companionable silence.

[violetganache42]

Highlights from Saturday's Oops! All Episodes! night celebrating everyone's favorite adorable and badass pink duckling, courtesy of @knuckles-junior and yours truly!

(I couldn't make it to most of it, so any highlights I do add in the episode up until "The Last Adventure will be anything that catches my eye while scrolling back through the chat. As such, mine will be in purple while Any's are in pink. If we both have the same highlight, then it'll be left uncolored.)

Garfunkel and Oates - Rainbow Connections

Learning this song was originally for Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome's friend

Discord and YouTube already experiencing technical difficulties to where everyone went straight to the episodes/There was a delay but don’t worry, Will. Thanks Puffy for hosting!

"Cold Duck"

Huey, Dewey and Louie are hunting for Beakleys (*Elmer Fudd laughter*)

Launchpad appearance!

Literally everyone being racist/sexist to the girls (1987, everyone. Shit like this is why the phrase "product of its time" exists.)

Dreamy: Webby is my favorite fan artist.

I never like HDL in the 87 version. Thank god I didn’t get jumped. (You're in good company with the Cafeteria Table, and we don't tolerate getting jumped for different opinions. ^^)

Puffy: WHO RAISED THEM TO HATE WOMEN SO BAD Will: Uncle Donald Puffy: "NOOOOOOOOOO BUT DONALD LOVES WOMEN HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE THREE CABALLEROS" Dreamy: "He respects women while craving that bisexual crisis"

Everyone agreeing the DT87 triplets deserved to get sent to penguin jail

Club Penguin

Puffy: "it's not a toro it's a uuuuh goes to google morsa"

"Um, Mr. Scrooge?"/"Call me Uncle Scrooge."

Webby gaining a new sister in the form of Skittles the Penguin

"Daytrip of Doom!" (Rewatch)

Me freaking out about Scrooge being spectacless

OW MY TAILBONE (That line always cracks me up. 😂)

"Um, ocupado." Me: HOUSE MEETING. NOW.

“Wait are they gonna kiss?” (Again: I don't need that image burned in my brain, Llewellyn. >< This is why you're the evil triplet!)

*Webby kicks a sack into a tree, causing it to fall down* “WEBBY DAAAAANNNNGGGG” (This is what I would've shared in response to that scene. lol)

Spider Webby real

The entire scene with Donald flooding the mansion's main bathroom with his hose and Scrooge's golden reaction to it

Jane appearance!

THE SPORK (Shout out to @danaterrace for storyboarding that scene!)

"Like New Zealand" (I did recently hear New Zealand is a great place to live in.)

Just the entire Beakley and Donald subplot in general

Webby being a mood

Ma Beagle appearance!

THE COINS JUST SHOWED UP OUTTA NOWHERE (THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. 🤣)

"Well, that's not something you wanna hear when you're tied up in a meat locker."

"Normal's overrated."/"We want you to be Webby normal."

Everyone when Donald attacked Bouncer and Burger:

Surprise batman appearance

"I'm on Webby's team!"

"The Good Muddahs" (Rewatch)

Us remembering Bubba was in the later seasons. -_- (Yeah, I don't blame you guys at all. 😓 DT17!Bubba can stay though; he's cool, especially since he didn't replace DT17!Webby in the group unlike his original version.)

The return of whitewashed Daffy Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo

Missy's Discord making a random ass scream thanks to a server she's in

HDL continuing to be sexist (Seriously, WHO THE FUCK GENDERS SOMETHING LIKE HOPSCOTCH?!)

Beagle Babes appearance!

I DIDNT KNOW THERE WERE BEAGLE GIRLS CALLED “BEAGLE BABES”. (Unlike the Beagle Boys, they're not created by Carl Barks. They're a trio of one-off characters exclusive to DT87.)

THE COPS DON’T DO SHIT JUST LIKE IRL COPS

Pink guns!

(It's around this vicinity that Any's highlights for this episode dramatically decreased because she still couldn't believe what she watched, so the rest will be handled by me. Besides, she was more eager to cover Confidential Casefiles and TLA.)

Any: 12 HOURS (Remember, DT87!Webby is younger than her reboot counterart by what? A few years or something? It's normal for a kid as young as her to cry. Between how the DT87 triplets treated her and being kidnapped at literal gunpoint, she was not having a good day, so of course she would be upset. That being said, 12 HOURS? Someone get this girl some water to rehydrate herself with because that cartoon logic went into overtime!)

Shoplifting list

THE ICONIC WORRY ROOM

Missy and Puffy rooting for Beakley

nepdapurrbeast: "the police shouslve been pigs smh"

caro: "Bubba thinks he’s part of the team 💀" (FR)

WEBBY WITH A GUN

puff

The triplets behind the wheel, with Dewey driving

"From the Confidential Casefiles of Agent 22!" (Rewatch)

OTTOMAN EMPIRE MARATHON!

Black Heron appearance!

Louie having Pep priorities

Webby's special interest in Scrooge and Clan McDuck

Donald somehow locking himself in the pantry (Easily the FUNNIEST moment in season 1. 🤣)

LUDWIG APPEARANCE!

Scrooge being a sassy bitch in the flashbacks. (He was a lot cockier in the 1960s. lol)

"First ever Webby-McDuck team-up!"

Beakley punching Scrooge in the face

Story Blossom: "A rubber ball? PERRY THE RUBBER BALL?"

"Louie mostly just cries." (He is not wrong. In all seriousness, someone give Louie all the hugs.)

Scrooge McFucking dies ("Worse. I got a stem caught in my throat.")

Vengeance for Number 4

"Aww, that was gonna be so impressive." (NGL, I would do the same thing. XD Just chucking a nearby object at a runaway enemy and feeling bummed about it missing.)

Scrooge and Webby bonding (I can hear the scene in my head and I am SMILING. 😊)

spam: "every evil plot starts with a declaration of hatred speech…"

Any and Puffy: "OH NO"

Everyone freaking out about Webby almost getting killed

The art book revealing Black Heron realized Webby is April after seeing her kick the Gummiberry Juice out from her hand, drinking it, and untying Scrooge

“Call me Uncle Scrooge.”/“I’m Webby!”

Any: Several episodes later (STOOOOOOP. �� IT'S BAD ENOUGH DISNEY XD AIRED LAST CRASH A FEW HOURS BEFORE WEBBY NIGHT.)

Oh, and we were jumpscared by Goldie three times. (THREE?! Aw, man!)

"The Last Adventure!"

Pt. 1: A Tale of Three Webbys!

Crazy that Lena can rig an import game.

Can we talk about how Scrooge only wasted money on a birthday party at funzo’s for Webby? Slay king. (YES, WE CAN. FULL. FUCKING. PRICE. FOR HIS DAUGHTER. IT SPEAKS VOLUMES ON HOW CLOSE THE TWO HAVE GOTTEN.)

Us when Missy wants to smash both Bradford and Drake:

Violet joining at the right time ^^ (Glad to have made it in time for the family storming the Funso's base!)

Darkwing showing off by walking on two fingers

MAY AND JUNE

Any and I commenting about how OP Lena is/Violet: “We may need to start putting handicaps on Lena XD”

“You already got sisters.”

Me and Violet: AMONGUS (btw you read my mind) (I had to. 😂 On a related note…)

Puffy: "WEBBY VENTED SHE'S SUS"

"Have you eaten a hamburger?"

“COUGH UP THE INFORMATION, BENTINA!”

Webby's conspiracy board now turned into her family board

Puffy: "you know who else came out in 1996" Me: "MY MOM!"

Beakley lying to Webby./Everyone calling out Beakley and her fabricated story about Webby's parents

SHES FIBBING FIBBING FIBBING. (Oh, hey! I quoted that! :D)

NOT THE VULCAN NERVE PINCH

Webby vs. June:

Pt. 2: The Lost Library of Isabella Finch!

Donald wearing his signature blue sailor outfit again

spam: "The ducktales logo looks like a censor there i cant"

Bradford abuses/manipulates children/Us talking about Bradford being a child abuser in the finale

"It's Webby."

Scrooge smiling proudly at the kids as they board the Sunchaser

Bradford being a manipulative creep towards Huey

Phantom Blot and Pepper appearance!

Scrooge: "Any questions?" Me: "GOLD TEAM RULES!"

Lena being really op by making the sunchaser invisible.

THE ORIGINAL THREE!/TRIPLE MCDUCK FAMILY TEMPER!!!

Gyro being the biggest baby ever./Pepper obliterating the twink

"I live again!"

Violet—the character, not me—panicking

“Finally!”

Everyone after Bradford after ripping the pages off the journal: 🤬🤬🤬/Me, Toku, and Any: "BASTARD"

Donald and Della gushing over baby Jeeves

Us talking about the implications of Bradford killing Duckworth

Steelbrain

Gandra appearance!

Ludwig revealing he got way too busy to die (King shit. XD)

The revelation that Bradford kidnapped EVERYONE! EVEN SANTA CLAUS!

April.

Beakley killing Jeeves

This out of context photo Any took:

Jeeves and Don Karnage die/Dewey officially getting a kill count in the funniest way possible

Everyone freaking out at the end of part 2.

ME POINTING OUT A VERY HEARTBREAKING PARALLEL RIGHT AS PART 2 ENDED

Pt. 3: Tales' End…

Dewey hitting the dab

Puffy, Missy, and I complimenting the finale

Manny being a living Gargoyles reference

"When they do something right, they're heroes. When it gets a little hard, wE’rE cHiLdReN!"

"Aw, phooey."

Me and Missy: "STOCK POSE"

"All women… are queens!"/"If she breathes… she's a THOOOOT!"

Puffy: "hard cut to scrooge getting his spine broken lmao" EllaKai: "legit i vocalized 'agh my back'"

"How do you think Della found out you built the Spear of Selene?"/This scene and everyone freaking out in the chat again myself included:

I’m literally the only one who is happy that Heron died. Rest in Piss. (I'm sure Scrooge would agree with you on that, mainly because he did not react to her erasure from existence at all. Like, that boy just STOOD THERE. 😂)

The Webby twist never gets old. 🙂 (HUGE agree. Also…)/YOUR DAILY FUCKING REMINDER, EVERYONE:

Launchpad becoming Gizmopad

ALL OF US PANICKING AT BRADFORD NEARLY ACHIEVING VICTORY (NO FUCKING JOKE! MY BODY WAS SHAKING WHEN I SAW THAT SCENE AGAIN! ><)

"Ow?"

“GET AWAY FROM MY DAD!” ("Wait, what?")

FAMILY IS THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL!

SCROOGE FINALLY SAYING "WEBBY DARLING" 😭💖/WERE ALL DEFENDERS OF THIS FINALE DUCKBLUR FOR LIFE. SCREW THE HATERS.

Team Uncle embracing their fatherly roles, from Donald taking May and June under his wing to Scrooge making a parallel to "Woo-oo!" and worrying about Webby's safety

THE FINAL END CREDITS

[declanlikesmusic]

Today's Listens: Episode 006

August 11th & 12th, 2023

I'm sure you might be aware that my last episode was a delayed bummer by the end of it, so I'm really just gonna start writing these episodes on the days once again to hope for a better outcome with them. My days without work are already over as soon as they began and because of work yesterday and a knockout bout of hayfever today, I'm gonna have to turn this into another double episode because I've hardly listened to enough on both days. Still though, let's have fun with these

We got some more content warnings on this one, albeit they're minor in comparison: Do watch out for a short but immediate mention of suicide as well as a reference to sk*nning that even I can barely tolerate most of the time.

ℍUM♥ℕIGHTM♥RE – 宇宙の認識 (2016)

Do pardon the unicode that comes packaged with this artist's name, but this is HUMANIGHTMARE, a once young & up-and-coming vaporwave producer who tragically lost to suicide in 2020. I caught ear of this particular album during a commemoration livestream on Vapor Memory and it allured me enough to want to seek out and check it out back then. I thought it was a very good album at the time and to this day, I still think the same way, though it leans very much into greatness at a good handful of points. This was a super meditative take on the growing slushwave sound of the time along with some hypnagogic drift tunes and I think the results should not go overlooked by fans of those genres. Tracks like the opener 宇宙の誕生 as well as 脳の網 are absolutely gorgeous, while the track that hooked me in the first place, 宇宙との関係、is so captivatingly strange to me in a way that I can only adore and fascinate about. If you're already deep into vaporwave, I highly recommend this one.

7.5 / 10

Highlights: 宇宙の誕生、宇宙の盛り、宇宙との関係、宇宙の夢、脳の網、復活

SURFING – Emotion (2019)

Up next on the trans agenda is the third and most recent album by vapor & chillwave duo SURFING. Their 2012 debut is one of the most iconic works of the genre and rightfully so, because it perfectly blends original instrumentation & singing with dense, hazy and deeply nostalgic vaporwave samples. So I have no idea what brought in them the need to forgo that entirely, as 2018's Incubo was still sample-based but nowhere near as dreamy and this one fully submerges into the stylings of chillwave & indie rock with none of what made them so excellent before. That said, with that expectation in mind, while this is still their least good album, it was at least better than what I was anticipating after the first couple of tracks. Visions is the song everybody turns to and for good reason, because it does bring a newfound energy to the band, but my favourite moments were still where they leaned back into their dreamy & hazy sonic roots. It's still a good album and if you're a fan of dream pop, I'd give it a shot. Just don't expect anything particularly dense.

6.9 / 10

Highlights: Visions, Crazy, Hearts, Enough, Give You Up.

Chat Pile – Remove Your **** Please (2019)

I'm going to say it now, this is among the worst EP titles I have ever read. I know that this band was deadset on making intensely dark & grim stories through noise rock & sludge metal, but if it wasn't for me keeping an open mind, I would've steered clear of this record entirely even despite the loving reception this got back then and even now. Which is a complete shame because I ended up enjoying this one more than any other Chat Pile record so far, even God's Country (which warrants a relisten at this point). I even found my current favourite Chat Pile song through this record in the form of Davis, weirdly enough. The drums just sounded much better on this record than I had previously heard, sounding way less blurrier and more burrowing, though that might just be attributed to my headphones being replaced months ago. Couple that with the noise, the energy, the vocals and especially Davis's melodies and despite the horrible name, I'd recommend this one to fans of dreadful rock music. I still don't love them as a band, but this gives me hope that whatever they cook next, I might be able to start clicking with them.

7.2 / 10

Highlights: Mask, Davis

netbooks.WRLD – loosies '19-22 (2022)

Speaking of EPs, I don't know how many y'all heard this up-and-coming talent named netbooks.WRLD? Dude's pretty local in the online vaporwave & electronic music communities and his discography is about as fresh as the next lemon you will ever buy, but real talk? I think he's by far one of the most promising artists to pay attention to! I was initially a dumb stupid dumb skeptic back when his debut album ENDLESS STAIRCASE popped up in 2021, but upon the last couple of months, revisiting that album, tuning in to his brand new single, checking out his Skylive performance and now coming over to this EP of loose cuts, I have fully turned into a believer! The dude makes some downright excellent post-industrial plunderphonics and vaporwave tunes all over his catalogue and I think I found some of my favourite tracks he's ever made through this EP. Sure, they were mostly featured in other places and that's counting the bonus tracks, but god, I've been hooked to them completely in the 24 hours since hearing this. My only sticking points against it are the volume of the high frequencies being a little too harsh for my personal headphones, but I know that's by design considering his aesthetic. Other than that, holy shit, go check out ENDLESS STAIRCASE and this EP at your earliest convenience.

8.3 / 10

Highlights: pipes song, shook shook, RAGDOLLS

Vįr+üål Åįrßñß – ▚ ▛ ▜ ▟ ▞ (2021)

It's the second day and one of the best discoveries I've made last year was this random but completely ethereal-looking and unpronouncable album by a young Virtual AirBnB and I thought to relisten to it for the morning. Spoiler alert: This might just be one of my favourite vaporwave albums. This record is compact, but it is so gorgeous and stunning! It flawlessly blends together elements of mallsoft, new age music, I believe sophisti-pop R&B vocal samples and just overall aesthetics of beauty, nature and the future. Almost every single cut here is downright heavenly. Listening to them all from front to back is one of the most soothing, relaxing, beautiful and often transcendent experience I've personally had with the genre and it's so criminal how overlooked this album is so far. High recommendation to the absolute heavens. Just put your headphones on and let the rivers drift you away.

9.3 / 10

Highlights: ⿴ ༄ ℣ ₪ ℣ ༄ ⿴, ••• ❒︎ ❒︎ ᵒ ᴼ ᵒ ▫ 𐊔 ▫, | ⟗ ☱ ☲ ☳ ☵ ⟗ |

サイバー '98 – RENDERED FANTASY

Saiba '98 is an enigma to me. I don't think, even in the vaporwave scene, this short-lived alias got any of the credit it honestly deserves. The music's not excellent, but for a vaportrap artist, this guy managed to craft some of the unique, jarring and abstract material in this form. Upon relistening to DIGITAL FOREST for instance, I found it absolutely fascinating in how the tempos are sporadic and unformed, the beat instrumentaion is basic and minimal and the backing ambient atmospheres are ghostly and dark. This culminates into his last album under the project, RENDERED FANTASY, and while I can't tell you in good conscious that I love it or that it's completely great, this is honestly the best release of the few still publicly available. More than any other album I've heard from them, this album is glitchier, darker, more ominous, eerie and experimental than ever before. I almost completely admire the way he was seeing through his vision on this one. If you're curious, I can't guarentee you'll love it, but if you're a fan of vaportrap or experimental music, I'd give it a fair shake.

7.3 / 10

Highlights: b e n z a i t e n , Love Translator (self care), Hospital Flower, Kingdom_$lave, Life is a Constant Double Helix

crt paralysis – "Slideshow" (2022)

I'm about neck deep with vaporwave again these past couple of days, so next I threw on this project that got me very curious. Known for making some great vaporwave & DnB as dotnds, CRT Paralysis is a broken transmission side-project of theirs that I'm not fully enamoured with but still greatly appreciative of, especially with their Winter Paralysis series of albums. This "Slideshow" caught my eye though as it looked to center completely around the nostalgia of 2000s office computers and Windows 95 styled corporatism. However, not exactly in the way that I viewed it as a child, which is a little disappointing, but I still found this to be a very good time. The presentation was what drove this home to me the most, it's pretty off-kilter, even for Bandcamp standards. If you're curious for some late 2000s vaporwave nostalgia in a format that I could see INTERNET CLUB doing back in the day, I'd recommend this one.

7.0 / 10

Highlights: "Newlife" 2008/04/02, "Screenshot" 2006/08/17, "Evening" 2008/07/03, "Email" 2008/07/04, "Lounge2" 2008/07/09

RAWINTHEVOID – Alphalord (2018)

How do I go about this one? This was the third album from a then very young RAWINTHEVOID. RAW is a talent in post-vaporwave & plunderphonics that I've been looking forward to seeing his growth for a few good years now. His two latest albums MD (Manifest Destiny) and NOTINTHEMOOD are especially great and, even with some very rough patches, they still shine in comparison to his very, very humble beginnings. I've been going through his catalogue backwards and it's fascinating to see how rudimentary & borderline regressive their sample-based works were back in the day. Even on Alphalord, currently my least favourite of theirs (but only barely behind Double Couple), I still found a wealth of fascinating ideas for its alphabet-long tracklist. For example, I would've never thought that speeding up a whole ass noise rock album down to less than six minutes in a song would've sounded any good. To spoil you, it doesn't sound good, but I'm glad someone tried it anyways. I don't recommend this one. If you're curious, go through his latest albums and his live sets, but don't go digging through the back catalogue. Trust me.

4.4 / 10

Highlights: c3, m13, o15, q17

VHS Head – Persistence of Vision (2014)

To close off this post, I went with the sophomore album from one of the most "Dude, how come you've never heard of this guy" artists in the realm of electronic music. VHS Head is a producer of IDM & Glitch Hop beats that are constantly punchy, sporadic and memorable, all thanks to his incredibly persistent sampling of found VHS tapes. He's growing a cult following overtime but it's not exactly helped by his sparse release schedule. This album came out less than five years after his first and he only thought to put out a followup just a few months ago. I can't wait to try that out, but I would shoot myself in the foot if I didn't go for this album first and I'm very glad that I did. I guess when I heard it, I was a little unenthusiastic in a way? But only the way that still made me love this album in the end, like my thought process was "Of course this album is great." The beats are still punchy, the constantly shifting sample flips are more memorable this time around, I think it's even better and more consistent than his debut! Highly recommend this one, with no doubt.

7.9 / 10

Highlights: Enter the Devil, Don't Look in the Closet, Camera Eyes, Red Ocean Apocalypse, Dead to Morrow, Frozen, Body Magic, Angels Never Sleep

Finally, another episode in the books! You'll notice I'm committing to these a little less and less, but I'm honestly not sure if I can keep doing these daily. I'll keep 'em up for as long as I like, but I think it's time to finally admit that I might skip days proper. I'll find a way to still make them work though, because no doubt, every day, I find something new that I want to talk about. Maybe I could make it more of a highlights thing than an outright journel, but we'll see how that shapes up. Until then, I'll see you next time!

[anti-bingusbongusbaba]

I would like to let you know that none of their behaviors line up with actual POCD, and I suspect this is merely another instance of a groomer using supposed mental illness as an excuse. this lines up pretty well with their claimed DID involving insane things like soulbonding and alter death, and self diagnosing personality disorders. People with POCD are irrationally terrified of being pedophiles, to the point that they will avoid all contact with children, even images of children, constantly ask loved ones if they are a pedophile are not, obsess over being a pedophile and needing to go to jail. These thoughts are extremely distressing to them. Sandre shows zero distress over their pedophilic inclinations, seeks out the romantic company of children, enjoys sexual content with children (fictional, and in their grooming). None of their behavior shows any regret, remorse, or concern: those are the hallmarks of POCD. They've been lying to you. While they are certainly mentally ill, their alters are excuses to say things they want to say with the excuse of it being a different person in their head (supporting rape, erping with children) DID is a real disorder, but unfortunately people do often fake it for reasons like Sandre did: to avoid accountability, to make themselves feel important. Looking at the medical information about these disorders will help you realize when someone is lying to you, and people will. Tolerance can go too far with this, it's like saying you have cancer when you don't, and that that cancer made you be a groomer. Please, please be careful. These art spaces (fucking talking about sleepykinq? really?) are not safe for children, not in the slightest. Only make friends with people you know. Don't worship some internet artist like a god. Don't base your self worth on your art on the internet.

Honestly yeah, Sandre always excused his behavior with one of their mental illnesses, whether it be autism, P-OCD or OSDD (which is what they're self-diagnosing as, not DID! But idk if it's important)

Especially the P-OCD one, God it was so weird at the time because- I explained this in the doc but I'll explain it again- one of my friends OCs has P-OCD, and they based it on off Sandre, because you know representation and such.

Well after rhat reveal, Sandre just yelled "PEDOPHILIA WOOOOO" which made everyone at the time who was looking at the chat very uncomfortable.

And when we told our discomfort to Sandre he said associates pedophilia with his comfort character (yuck) and I didn't include these in the doc but I do vividly remember how he said it's ableist to call a person with P-OCD a pedophile and I'm just like, in my mind "why said in the first place then??"

But anyways, I don't wanna fake claim that Sandre doesn't have P-OCD or is a system, but man, the urge to say gets stronger and stronger.

[bisluthq]

To thrive in the industry, you need to have a thick skin and be able to tolerate some unusual behavior without complaining. I don't think Chappell will be able to handle it. While it's important to set boundaries with overly enthusiastic fans, in cases like the red carpet you need to learn to ignore it and not react.

especially since it was NOT directed at her? Like I say lol idk where you guys live but I’ve heard some pretty crazy shit in public transport and if randos are yelling I… don’t like decide to enter the group chat? If someone had yelled something directly nasty to her or even hard to misconstrue as not about her then I get saying something but like if people are noisily arguing in a noisy place it seems a little weird to get involved.

still strongly feel that most of the people bashing her are like… mean and rude and nasty for no reason but I guess that’s also the nature of the internet. Also do feel like this was kind of weird behavior and I’m still not into her REPEATEDLY cancelling her shows for more exposure opportunities. I totally get her calling out invasive fans though, that’s fair lol like idk people in public aren’t commodities right so don’t be creepy and weird. If it seems like it’d be appropriate to say hi, fine but also accept that they might not be in the mood?

idk I was talking about this to my friend in a kind of different context (not Chappell’s thing) and she said she thinks about it as like bothering any professional off duty. If you’re in the hospital, you have a right to demand the doctors and nurses like… treat you. If you’re in a school, you have a right to demand the teachers teach and provide feedback and shit to you/your kids. If you’re in a restaurant, you have a right to demand the kitchen staff cook for you and the wait staff serve you tbh. You still needn’t be a cunt in any of those places but also you 100% have a right to demand that they do their jobs.

Flipside, if you see your doctor (or even someone you know is a doctor) out at the grocery store and start hassling them to look at your weird toe thing or you see your child’s teacher in a public place and hassle them for feedback (or try fob your kids off on them lol - hasn’t happened to me personally with my students because I teach big kids but I was in a group of teachers at like a sunset concert once and this mum of one of the Year One kids my friend taught asked if she could leave the kids with her while her and her husband go get merch and snacks and my friend said yes but I was fucking annoyed right and if I’d been her I’d have said hell fucking no lady, I’m not at work, but also that’s why I don’t teach Year One) that’s imo SUPER uncool. Even if you’re friends with the people right like my doctor friend is okay with me asking a medical question if I legit can’t go to the doctor for whatever reason or to find out if I should but she has had to draw the boundary of me continuing to hassle her with questions like “is this the right medication/what are the alternatives/is this the way this should be clearing up” etc. Also I know chefs often get asked to cook for friends lol.

And like… it’s awesome if you want to do that and it’s kind and it’s sweet. I actually do always hang out with kids (not the very little ones because I don’t like those but closer to the age I teach) at social functions where they’re bored without even being asked and like find shit for them to do. But that’s my choice then, right? Like I’m offering to continue doing my job in my time off.

So as a fan (and actually as members of the media too) you have a right to demand artists do their jobs at concerts, meet and greets, signings, and yes at events they choose to attend. Because that’s their job, not a fun hobby anymore.

Chappell’s correct in that she needn’t be a pop star when she’s not working and if she wants to be she can but she REALLY doesn’t have to be. However, to me Chappell seems a little unclear on what’s her off time (that she’s 100000% entitled to and can regulate fully in terms of boundaries) and what’s her workie turkey time, where she has to 1) show up 2) do her job 3) suck up the kinda bullshit bits lol same as all of us 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[cloudwolfieaskblog]

A list of rules for SCP-H4RP13:

Note: Unlike the infamous Bright list, which was meant to be a joke, this list is semi-canon and does represent some of H4RP13's behavior in containment:

0. Most but not all elements on "The List Of Things Dr. Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The SCP Foundation" are in full effect!

1. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to claim it's a sapient fursuit. Yes, we know that's the most accurate way to describe you. The interns you traumatized by ripping your head clean off had to be amnestized and let go of their internship.

2. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to bake hyper realistic cakes of dangerous SCPs and scatter them around randomly. The number of personnel we lost to heart attacks reached an all-time high that day.

a) No, not even if the cake is tasty.

b) No, you may not use SCP-6161 to turn random things into cake.

c) hyper-realistic cakes of everyday objects, plants, food, animals, mythical creatures, pieces of art and landscapes are fine. But only if they aren't one of our contained anomalies!

d) No, we do NOT care that an SCP-096 cake is considered artistic representation. Stop.

3. H4RP13 is not allowed to spend time with Dr. Bright during breaks outside of containment ever! We don't have enough insurance money to cover for the damages.

[Addendum: for the sake of keeping the entity contained this rule has been abolished. However he is still only the entity's handler.

—O5-1]

4. SCP-H4RP13 is assigned the Thaumiel Object Class, true. This does not however give it a pass to cause mass destruction for fun. Unless it's in a rage room, but that is an entirely different scenario.

5. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to call new personnel who fill roles previously held by another personnel it knew as "crappy replacements". Yes, we miss Dr. Glass and Iceberg as much as you do. No, the new personnel are not trying to steal their roles. We know it's hard, but you have to learn to let go.

6. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to be in the same containment site as Dr. Samet. Yes, we know you don't tolerate it when he calls Dr. Bright by the amulet's designation. No, it's not an excuse to break Dr. Samet's nose, both arms, both legs and his pelvis. Stop making his life miserable. Your "immortal buddy" can handle it on his own.

7. SCP-H4RP13 is to be kept far away from SCP-076-2, unless it's sent out to stop an active containment breach.

8. H4, using spray cheese instead of the radioactive silly string isn't a big enough distinction to make the joke you recreated from Bright's list original.

9. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to use its hair as storage. As comfy, soft and fluffy it is, it is a biohazard.

a) For the sake of transparency, we are referring to the hair on top of the entity's head. Don't get ideas, people.

10. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to use its shed fur to make a decoy of itself while it's out and causing trouble. We aren't falling for that. Again... For the third time... Just stop it!

11. SCP-H4RP13, the official motto is still "Secure. Contain. Protect." Don't even try rewriting it to "Gotta catch 'em all" . We can't afford another lawsuit after Kelloggs sued us over "Snap, crackle and pop"!

a) And what did we tell you about stealing from Bright's list?

12. Yes, H4RP13... We know Dr. Bright is your crush best friend the appropriate term is handler, for crying out loud! No, that doesn't mean you're allowed to brainstorm new pranks together.

13. H4RP13, look. Playing tabletop rpgs and TCG matches against a reality bender is fun. We get it. No, asking said reality bender to make the game reality is still not allowed. Consider other people's well-being pal-lease!

14. Yes, we admit it. You're a skilled thief. We're impressed every time you pickpocket us during a chat, seemingly not moving an inch. But in all seriousness, if you steal another personnel's key card we're removing your recreation wing privileges indefinitely.

Addendum, on the [REDACTED] of ██, 20██: What did we just say?

15. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed near anything shiny or valuable due to its kleptomania. I'm baffled this rule wasn't made sooner.

16. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to replace Dr. Clef's buckshot with itching powder. What kind of a monster are you? Yes, that was creative enough to see it as a separate prank. Still, what kind of a monster are you?

17. No longer allowed to listen to country music. We don't need a repeat of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" case involving [DATA EXPUNGED] or any other reality anchor or reality bender.

18. Yes, Epic: The Musical is, well, epic. No you may not make up your original SCP cast. And no you absolutely may NOT cast Abel as Poseidon.

a) Addendum 1: H4RP13 is no longer allowed to recreate any musical, anecdote, screenplay, movie, puppet show or series be it live action or cartoon.

19. H4RP13 is no longer allowed in the zoo, on safari or near animal SCPs. We swear to 343 if you ever try to "pet the big kitty and its kittens" again....

a) No, you may not pet the "wild puppers" either.

b) No, "oversized teddies" are also not viable candidates.

c) Neither are "clawed birbs".

d) Who gave it the idea to go and visit "dracula and his family"? It's a rhetorical question, we all know who did it.

e) No, "horsies" of any kind are not pettable for you.

f)Neither are "sea puppies". And why the ████ would you call a shark a sea puppy?!

g) No, it doesn't matter that it's "fren shaped" when it's little. Do you know what isn't "fren shaped"? Its adult counterpart.

h)Yes, bunnies are cute. No, you can't own one. Or more.

i) H4RP13 is not allowed any pets and there's that! But Bright's list already covers that rule, geez! This is one that applies to it too.

j) And no, absolutely no "furry potatoes" or "ouch mice" or literally any animals and let's not keep dwelling on it, the answer is no!

k) SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to have house plants. I don't know how it turned a tiny succulent into a piranha plant, but we don't need a repeat of that. And before it happens too, it is absolutely not allowed to have a pet rock!

20. I thought this goes without saying, but here we are. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed access to any electronics, unless it's for a test, that was greenlit by the Ethics Committee. Nevermind, don't let it access electronics and that's final.

a) How the hell did it rickroll everyone on a lighter?!

21. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to reference Star Wars to prove a point. No, it does not in fact have the high ground, Night Sister magick, or the Force, no matter how much it may insist otherwise.

a)"Come to the Dark side, we've got cookies" is a dead meme.

22. SCP-H4RP13 is required a wisdom check every time they get an idea. For that its supervisor in the moment has to roll one D20 and subtract two from the final score. Any score under 16 will be a dismissal of the idea.

a) Okay, so apparently somehow the wisdom checks say you add 2 to the score. I don't know nor care to find out why.

b) For goodness' sake! If SCP-H4RP13 has a genius new idea don't let Bright do the mandatory wisdom check! Somehow he always hits a NAT 20 on the worst ideas.

23. SCP-H4RP13 is not capable of stealing the Moon.

24. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to attempt to steal the Moon.

25. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to succeed in stealing the Moon.

26. No longer allowed access to the "Despicable Me" movie series.

27. For future reference, stop slow dancing with Bright while they are on duty. As a representative of the O5 Council, I am glad your relationship with them only grew stronger as the decades passed, but please stop calling Site-19 single in a million languages. –O5-13

28. SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to use the popular Johnny Cash song "The Chicken in Black" during heists. As an additional rule, SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to even think about planning heists ever again. But Bright's list covers this rule as well!

29. No, you aren't a demigod from Camp Half-Blood. No, there is no "Mist" and there is no "Titanomachy" happening in plain sight. And on a semi-related note, SCP-H4RP13 is not allowed to steal the Helm of Darkness, the Master Bolt or Poseidon's Trident.

30. SCP-H4RP13-1 is not allowed to use Foundation staff as baby sitters for its young, SCP-H4RP13-2 and SCP-H4RP13-3. Again, for future reference.

—O5-13

[ear-worthy]

Equity, Equality, And Inclusion Dialogues: A Podcast About Who People Are

At first glance, the podcast name -- Equity, Equality, And Inclusion Dialogues -- doesn't seem to be catchy, lively, vibrant, and assertive enough to attract listeners. 

However, after you listen to the first episode with the guest, a copywriter named Dev, who is transgender, neurodivergent, and self-proclaimed aracial, you realize that the name is flawless in its description of the podcast's tone, tempo, thoughtfulness, thoroughness, tolerance, transformative nature, and even tenaciousness. 

This podcast was conceived, developed and is hosted by Tracy Kadessa. She is a Kenyan policy advisor, researcher, writer and artist. Having studied law at both graduate and undergraduate levels, she is keen on the intersection of technology and human rights, as well as gender. 

Tracy was a board member and an acting national coordinator for the Forum for African Women Educationalists-Kenya Chapter, an Internet Society ambassador (2017), a consulting researcher for the State of Internet Freedom in Africa Report by CIPESA(Collaboration on International ICT Policy in East and Southern Africa), a member of the Kenya Internet Governance Forum Multi-stakeholder Advisory Group, a participant researcher at the Citizen Lab Summer -Institute (University of Toronto) (2018) and a fellowship scholar at the International Maritime Organization-International Maritime Law Institute (2019–2020).

As a host, Kadessa excels with a cheery, supportive, and professional demeanor. There is a breezy formality about her hosting delivery that can disarm listeners. Possibly because of her legal background and expertise, Kadessa knows her way around a successful interview.

Kadessa says: "We are here to have action oriented conversations on equity, equality and inclusion! Join us as we meet and chat with amazing people from different parts of the globe."

I asked Tracy Kadessa, "Why start a podcast?"

Her response was: "I was tired of gatekeeping. We need to have important conversations on equity, equality, diversity and inclusion, but sometimes the very platforms that talk of being open for us are so closed off we can't access them."

 When I asked,"What has challenged with podcasting?"

Her response was emphatic: "In the beginning, it was audio editing, If you check some of the first episodes, the audio is terrible. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: She is being too hard on herself), I had no idea how this was done, and I couldn't find someone to help. But now, I'm getting better at it, I'd say I score 65 percent now. I'm working towards getting to 100. Another hard thing is getting your podcast out there. It can be very overwhelming. And of course the elephant in the room for many podcasts is making money from it."

  In episode nine, Kadessa discusses how patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy have shaped our perceptions of women's hair.

In episode five, Kadessa begins by stating, "Change Management seems to be a buzz word! But in this episode, Dr. Batsheva (Sheva) Guy (She/her) walks us through the importance of Change Management and why equity and Inclusion principles have to be part of it." It's a remarkable interview, with Kadessa walking listeners through the ways in which Change Management principles must include equality and inclusion in its fundamental structure.

In the last episode in December, Kadessa discusses one of the most pernicious thinking patterns -- stereotypes. 

"Sometimes stereotypes make us miss out on what we really want to be," Kadessa says in the episode.

In this episode, Lisa Hällbrink shares her journey in the engineering field, as well as her work in challenging stereotypes about engineering and STEM. It's a captivating exchange between host and guest.

While I am sure that Tracy Kadessa would not turn down money to podcast, like a lot of indie podcasters, her primary motivation was to spur conversations on equity, equality, and inclusion.

 As Tracy has said on her podcast: "We need to enable people to live life on their terms. We need to listen to people when they tell us who they are."

Tracy Kadessa -- indie podcasting superhero!

**************************************

This review is part of an ongoing series of reviews, recommendations, and essays about Indie podcasters -- their craft, their challenges, and the critical role they play in podcasting. These entrepreneurs display skills as disparate as hosting, sound production, graphic design, scriptwriting, interviewing, marketing genius, and financial watchdog. They are the heart and soul of podcasting.

[northropi]

is it wrong of me to kinda take the "gosh darn Twitter refugees" thing a little personally? like...

ok so yeah i had a phase where i hated Tumblr because it was cool, but during that time i was on NO social media (thank fucking CHRIST). i ended up on Twt sort of by default, the OG Twitter account was actually something my brother initially kinda dragged me into, even if i met a lot of people there eventually i was pretty meh about it for a while and that's probably an understatement i'm now realizing.

i sooooorta had a breakdown because of how toxic my feed got. i unfollowed a lot of people and i think my tolerance for the site from that point on was tempered by "oh well, not as bad as that was" with "that" being my sole experience with SM in a capacity beyond either ONE Discord server, Steam chats, and scrolling through fucking Know Your Meme without an account. it's hard to gauge whether or not it's had a positive effect on my mental health because of how miserable i've been in real life, for as long as i can honestly remember. like i'm sitting here as i speak unpacking that having just had it bubble up and, like, idk. i think about hiatuses a lot but this is also kind of the only thing i can retreat to.

but the next chapter in this story is i'm about 20-ish, and Tumblr rolls out its porn ban. at this point all i had seen of Tumblr was, frankly, NSFW artists, and i just saw them get wiped out. at this point i wanted to be one of them and Tumblr was obviously a significantly less safe prospect for that now, and on top of that this sort of betrayal made me kinda want to avoid this site out of protest. i think the fact that they're in the process of reverting that is a big factor in why i'm here today instead of doing everything purely on Newgrounds or something.

point is, like, gh. there's not a lot of bad blood here on my end and maybe it's just that Cool Thing Your Brain Does If You're Abused Where You Get Hypersensitive To Any Slight Expression Of Anger going off at sarcasm but i'm kind of tired of seeing it. not expecting anyone to actually stop but, just, i don't know, i do genuinely feel unwelcome here and the other place is probably gonna start filling my dms with hate speech by the end of the month at this rate. Newgrounds is nice so far, i say, ignoring the fact that i have not at this point been "scouted" and therefore am apparently literally invisible on anyone's feed unless they actively look for me.

...am i just nothing without the birdsite? am i going to be able to salvage what i had there? did i deserve it in the first place? is there anywhere that will take me? fuck.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Someone 'doing a sus' shipping/r34 behavior could be a sign of something but it could also be a sign of nothing--

drawn sexual material of explicitly stated-to-be-UNDERAGED-characters is different. It will always be different than the Alice in Wonderland porno or the pinup art you made of adult Lydia Deetz. You as an adult should not be attracted to underage people for being underage and to things that can not consent.

Yes, it may not be 'AS BAD' as ab*sing a real-life child, that doesn't make it 'okay' or 'oh, well that's nothing bad nvrmind". Other people may dismiss it's [lol!shit] severity but that doesn't mean they are 'into it' or want your shit around them.

Most proshippers I see arguing for loli art to stay legal are doing so out of worry that these same rules will be used to restrict it will be used against non-abusive things. Like kinks or, even worse, gender and sexuality pride, not out of 'love' for lol!shit. Good for them but also, I'm annoyed with this mindset. It's really putting the cart before the horse: you can't know a ban is going to lead to more bans on a thing unless you see that actually happening or not. I say read the fine print before you post about how 'puriteens stole ur ice cream' or some shit. 'Love and tolerating' people who 'just' draw underaged shit is not only not helping your case -the case that you don't care about and/or actively hurt minors or survivors of sa- but it makes you look incredibly selfish while abusing the language of self-care.

States and provinces all over the world take drawn/written work of minors seriously because a lot of the time loli/shota/cub art-enjoyers aren't just into fictional kids, despite what they say.

As with MAPs, these people think their paraphilia is actually healthy or good and that they couldn't possibly be grooming because 'so and so'-also did it. They try to mingle with and expose their fetishes to all 'types' of people and they don't see what they're doing for what it is, then get mad and claim discrimination when you say "hey don't draw minors like that". Good god look at the nightmare that is Floraverse, Bleedman or Shadbase. Look at the skeletons in Lily's Orchard's closet, and then the multitude of ways she tries to deflect her paraphilias onto other people.

No- these people are NOT Nabakov. "Lolita" is not cp because the book itself is not trying to sexualize Dolores. Humbert, like a real predator, knows not to detail that stuff but instead mention enough things that illustrate everything else you need to know, which is why it's horrific and why it was intended to always be horrific. Even if Lolita was what people accuse it of being- it isn't "okay because the p3do dies at the end!", like Lily's tried to say about her old MLP fiction. Lily and that "Kite" anime do not get away with what they do just by taking on a 'sad' ending for the assailant.

If you are attracted to animal-coded animal characters or child-coded child characters because they are animals or children; or, even worse, real life animals and children, you don't have a kink- you have a paraphilia and you need serious help.

The rest of us 'degenerates' do not want you in our furry parades, chatting us up about shipfics and showing off the neat smut we made- we do not want you there. And we damn sure don't want you anywhere near our families, coworkers, friends or pets. You are not invited. You need help, ESPECIALLY if you ever begin looking at content made using real children or animals. That Mighty Magiswords mf wasn't being hypocritical dumping on loli artists when he had real-child cp, he was deflecting and trying to get people to see him as the moral one.

This is my stance. This will always be my stance and screw you for calling me a puritan for being concerned for people around me. Screw you for wanting the kinky weird shipping bsdrama I'm into FAR THE FUCK AWAY from people who 'like' kids and animals. We are not one in the same; I am not being 'hypocritical' by calling you out; I am concerned as a fellow adult pervert. Selfishly I don't want you involved because your actions are going to hurt all of us; instinctively, I know there are some lines you don't cross.

We live in a surveillance wasteland of censorship and subscriptions. A lawless wasteland is not good or 'better', but no matter what we need our own autonomy back. You genuine bigots, predators and creeps are not wanted. We do NOT have to tolerate ur shit to get what we need to exist on the internet as artists.

~End of part 2. (and of rant)

About fandom smexuality, aging-up, age gaps vs CSEM

The thing I wish people could understand is the debate over whether or not loli/shota/cub/drawn 'artwork' is inherently cp is a different debate than the fandom questions of:

" Is making a child character into an adult for *reasons* akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making a childincanon-now-adult-character date an always-was-adultincanon-character akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making absolutely everything into a sexy pinuplegalage adult good for me? "

" Can you write about these topics at all? "

" What is someone's mental age vs physical age when it comes to fantasy fiction involving shit like gods, monsters, shapeshifting talking animals having smex? "

" Is it wrong to dismiss a character's age when they otherwise don't act or look the age they're supposed to be +are treated as sexualized adult in canon? " ((kinda specific; I'm mostly thinking of Ariel and Jasmine being canonically 16 and 14 for some reason.))

All these above debates are worth talking about. And by talking about, I do mean having discourse over because it's unavoidable. No one is going to agree 100%, I think that's just the nature of sexualizing things or maybe just fiction in general. Something that may be tame to you can be triggering/traumatizing for another person -especially if that person is a survivor of any kind of ab*se. You are not responsible for their well-being, B U T, you ARE responsible for yourself and not being a dick to survivors. I also think it's such a 'your millage may vary';'depending on the situation in canon v fanon'-shit going on.

f.e. shipping the themepark young man version of the Mad Hatter with the adult woman Alice that walk around Disneyland and are their own characters apart from their animated counterparts but clearly are still meant to illicit those versions-- I can be sus and grossed out and designate it as one of my own notps all I want, same with Lydiajuice and Fluttercord. I DO find these ships genuinely 'icky' to me because I can't get over the association w the animated versions. BUT- knowing the context of what people are into it and how, I'm not going to call that shit amoral. It's not. I'm just allowed to dislike it. Cope.

Ultimately people are right that it's sus how we keep making underage characters into smexy adults to appeal to adults with sexual and/or shipping tastes. Like 'can we seriously not comprehend characters in a non sexual (or in fandom, non shiptastic) context EVER about anything?' is a genuine debate worth having.

People are also right that susbehavior can be excused with legitimate circumstances; like how coming of age stories inherently mean minors discussing sexuality because teens are sexually imbalanced and sex interested. There's a LOT of talk to be had there and shade to be delivered.

As an asexual who's dabled in, and has friends, who make and sell adult art for adults, I just don't see this problem[i.e. aging up minor characters into adults] as an inherent red flag.

Many honest nonpredatory people have adultified versions of their childhood crushes. There is a porno version of Alice in Wonderland where Alice was a sexually adventurous twenty-something getting down with other adults in furrsuits and singing. No really. Me in my new fangled respect for the og novel can be all "GAWD why do we have to make this sexy?" all I want -AND YET-- I'm also glad they made the porno version of the story for adults ABOUT adults. Good job. I'm sure lots of people looking for that thing loved it. Let cringe adults be cringe adults, damnit.

Sexuality and sexual preference (not orientation) IS messy and complicated even if you do all this by yourself and without a partner.

~End of part 1.

[mcflymemes]

MISCELLANEOUS SENTENCE PROMPTS *  collection #5

take a nap with me.

please don't go.

you talk too much.

don't bother with any male chauvinistic compliments.

such disdain can not and must not be tolerated.

my handwriting is so bad, sometimes i think i should've been a doctor.

i wouldn't say no to getting lost with you.

we've got the element of surprise on our side.

i had to carry you for a while. it wasn't pretty.

anything broken?

i'm very impressed with you.

drinks all around!

now what is that supposed to mean?

i guess freedom is purely relative.

can you repeat that? i wasn't listening.

i'm not a threat. i won't hurt you.

what sort of trouble are you looking for?

when you're ready, we can get out of here.

i couldn't find your gun.

well, i thought you might be a little angry.

oh don't tell me. let me guess.

keep that thing away from me.

glad you think i'm hot... i guess.

hope that wasn't a family heirloom.

how has work been?

i don't think the world is full of criminals and full of murderers. it's full of nice people.

it could happen to anyone.

is your head clear yet?

will you go find yourself another suspect?

don't ask me any questions. i'm calling my attorney.

i'm trying to watch the game!

that's been known to happen.

i could wait.

can i ask a personal question?

how can i be angry looking at you?

i don't want to cut down on my standard of living.

don't catch a cold out there. wear a jacket.

you sure do know how to work a crowd.

what brought you here tonight?

i don't think you care too much.

that was... unexpected.

are you in charge of this mess or not?

this isn't what it looks like.

i just go where they tell me to.

i hope this isn't a bad time.

do you see something wrong?

here's your scarf. you dropped it.

i miss the way you used to touch me.

that's a stupid idea.

did it rain last tuesday?

can i sit in this?

that's not my problem.

did you have anything specific that you wanted to talk to me about?

i'm beginning to be very fond of you.

i didn't realize i drank that much.

may our enemies never be as happy as we are at this moment.

if you wait a while, we can go home together.

screw the rest of them. make them squirm.

that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

i meant to do that.

everybody is a suspect.

it's noble of you to come galloping to the rescue.

i know that. you told me.

you see, artists are very, very delicate.

you'll always have everything.

there's just one more thing i need to ask you...

can i use your phone?

i wasn't snooping.

can i take you out to dinner? my treat.

isn't that peculiar?

thanks for stopping by.

i usually don't drink anything i can't pronounce.

i just don't want anybody else to have it.

mind if i smoke?

what do you think of this?

i really appreciate your taking the time to chat with me.

why do all these people feel that they know me?

i can't tell you what a big help you've been.

as you travel through life, you'll encounter many barriers to happiness.

you're safe. i promise. i'm right here.

over my dead body.

that must have been very hard, losing someone you love like that.

this didn't need to happen.

i must have your name.

what's the matter? did i scare you?

what did you pay for those shoes?

i'm not very good on details, that's why i write everything down.

you didn't have a fight or anything, did you?

i've never met anyone quite like you. can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

are you still with me?

i guess it slipped your mind.

let's go inside. we'll be more comfortable.

do you mind if i grab a blanket? it's freezing in here.

just for the record, i love you.

maybe you should take the couch tonight.

maybe it would help if i knew where i was taking you.

[cheeriecherrymain]

Hear me out hear me out. tattoo parlor and flower shop au

AU TIME

Viktor x fem!Reader (SFW)

-Now hear me out, anon.

-Viktor already works a lot with his hands, focusing on intricate details and tiny contraptions - that’s basically already an art. I feel like if this is an au where hextech didn’t exist, and he had more of an interest in visual design, he’d be a great tattoo artist. Plus he canonically carved a bunch of runes into himself so we know he can also tolerate getting ink.

-He can probably do a lot of different concepts, but I feel like he’d really have a knack for semi-realistic mechanical pieces - making it look like his clients’ skin has rubbed away to reveal the metal workings beneath. Honestly cool af.

-And then one day, you walk in. It’s a nice parlour that he works at, so there are all styles of people who come in looking to get work done - he’s only surprised when you ask for him by name.

-He doesn’t recognize you at first, since he doesn’t really have any reason to pop across the street to a flower shop, but once you mention that you own the place, he kind of remembers your face. Or at least…he remembers seeing you wipe out on the sidewalk in front of your store during the previous winter.

-But he doesn’t mention that.

-Instead you find a comfortable seat in the little lounge area and start talking. He asks the general questions - do you have a concept or ideas, where do you want it, what colours, how big, etc etc. 

-You pull out a couple pieces of folded paper and hand them to him. “I know it’s outside of what you usually do,” you say sheepishly, “but a friend of mine had some pieces done by you, and I loved your colour work.”

-He looks down at the references you brought, and skims over them. Flowers. Of course it was flowers.

-Your shoulders droop slightly when you notice his brows pinch together ever so slightly. “If you’re not sure about it, that’s cool,” you assure him, “I can ask around and see if I can find someone who specializes-”

- “I can do it,” he cuts you off, folding the pictures back up and putting them in his pocket. “As long as you’re alright with my own style, as opposed to exact copies of the image.”

-The smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat, wide and excited, and you begin buzzing with energy. “That’s what I was hoping for!” you say.

-You set up an appointment for a couple days out, to go over his designs and change up anything you wanted altered. When you skip out the door and head across the street, Viktor can’t help but feel a little mushy on the inside - something about your enthusiasm, or maybe your charm…maybe the fact that you sought him out specifically? Whatever it is, something about you has Viktor wanting to impress you.

-He works diligently on potential pieces for you, staying up later than planned to make sure that every colour and every line was perfect. And by the time your next appointment rolls around, he’s cranked out what is quite possibly some of his best work.

-And you seem to think so, too, staring slack jawed at the sketches he presents you with. “These are beautiful,” you tell him, in awe of how he was able to make something so bright and flowing. It’s hard to make a decision on which one you like the most, but eventually you make your choice, and the process begins.

-You pull your shirt off in one of the private rooms, and shrug off the straps of your camisole, getting comfortable on the chair. Viktor knocks before he enters the room, and you smile at him while he sets things up.

-He doesn’t usually chat too much with his clients while he works, preferring to remain silent and focus, but you’re…different. You ask him question after question about his job, but instead of getting annoyed, he finds it easy to continue giving you answers - where he studied, how he got into the profession, what some of his favourite artworks were.

-The conversation eventually flows into your own line of work, and he finds himself curious about you and your flowers - how you started in your field, what you enjoyed about it. 

-He learns that you wanted to be a botanist all your life, but you eventually fell into flower arranging. He learns that most of your clientele consists of event-planners, and that the little shop is just a front for a larger business. He learns that you do all your arrangements yourself, and hand-select every flower that goes into them.

- “It’s tedious,” you admit, “But it’s rewarding. The money is lucrative, but I get so many heartfelt letters from people about how much they loved the flowers I sent for whatever event they had planned; that’s really what makes it worth it.”

-You chatter back and forth for another hour or two while Viktor works, and when he’s finished, you’re almost sad that it’s over. You’re plenty sore after sitting so long -and after having needles repeatedly pushed into your skin- but you’re still bummed that you don’t get to keep talking with him.

-You pay for the tattoo, and make sure to leave him an incredibly generous tip for all of his effort, and then you leave. Viktor watches you depart from the shop with a little wave and a skip in your step, and then you’re gone from his life.

-Over the next couple of weeks, he finds himself easily distracted. Work goes on as usual - he gets a bunch of people with simple tattoo ideas that he’s done a million times, and a couple of repeat-customers who’ve had work done by him previously.

-But when he’s in between clients and sitting behind the front desk, he often finds himself casting his gaze out through the windows lining the front of the shop, across the street, and over to your shop. He notices you coming and going a handful of times, but you never seem to look over at him.

-He’s honestly a little weirded out by how hung up on you he is, scolding himself for getting too friendly with a client. He knows he’s not actually been too friendly -all he did was have a good conversation with you while he worked- but he’s just. A little taken aback by how you seem to always be at the forefront of his mind.

-He even doodles flowers on his downtime: blooms he finds pretty, or that he knows the meaning behind, designing tattoos that he thinks you might like and thinking of all the places on your body that he could sneak a little bit of art in.

-He fully expects you to be a one-and-done kind of client - you got a flower done because you’re a florist, and you don’t need more than that. But some weeks later, when he’s at unawares, the bell on the front door rings. And you traipse in.

-You’re just as pleasant as when you first met, skipping up to the front desk to greet his coworker. As soon as Viktor hears your voice from the front room, he ambles over and all but steals you away. 

-You exchange pleasantries, and you update him on how you’ve healed. You’re still in love with the little piece you’d gotten from him - so much so that you’re back for more. You admit to him that you don’t really know what you want, just that you want more flowers.

- “It would also be cool to see some of your own style, too,” you tell him softly, “My friend had a mechanical piece done by you - it’s gorgeous. It’s not really my aesthetic, but…I wonder if you think you might be able to combine the two? Plants and machines! Like, um….biomechanical?”

-He’s suddenly very aware of the fact that he definitely has a crush on you.

-You talk a little bit more, and he makes a couple of very loose sketches while you do so, to give you a general idea of what might work. He asks the typical questions again, but this time when he gets to sizing and placement, you shrug.

- “I have a high pain tolerance,” you tell him, “so…I was thinking that you might just. Pick for me? If that’s weird, then I totally get it. You hardly know me, after all! Um…”

-Adorable, he thinks, seeing you so flustered.

-But he agrees to make a couple of pieces for a couple of different areas, and then you can decide later depending on which sketch you choose.

-It’s all basically a repeat of the last art he made for you - he works tirelessly to draw out some of the best pieces he’s ever created, though they’re larger and more vibrant than the last. It’s startlingly easy for him to combine his usual style with yours, incorporating delicate plants and tiny flowers into his wired and industrial machines.

-You end up loving all of what he makes, once again having a hard time picking a single design. But eventually you decide on a drawing, and the two of you settle down to get through the process.

-Conversation flows just as easily as the last time you met, except this time you both end up dipping into more personal matters - your childhoods, your relationships, your hopes and dreams. It takes most of the day to get all your ink done, and there’s barely a moment where the two of you aren’t talking the other’s ears off.

-You’re thrilled with the finished product, too, even moreso than the last. You want so badly to trace your fingers over the intricate lines, but you know he’ll only scold you for touching a fresh wound. You settle for tearing up instead, quietly laughing at yourself as you wipe your eyes.

- “It’s perfect,” you tell him.

-You pay him what he’s owed, once more leaving a hefty tip for all his troubles - but this time, you give it to him in cash.

-Only once you’ve left the shop does he go through the roll of bills, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head when he realizes how much you’ve given him. He’s half a mind to call you back to return some of it, or at least ask if you gave him as much as you intended to. At least, until he gets to the center of the roll, when he finds a slip of paper.

-A little note scribble in your handwriting, thanking him for the beautiful work, and telling him not to stress over how much he’d received. -And there, on the bottom of the paper, is your phone number, scrawled beside the question ‘Wanna get coffee sometime?’

[godoflobsters]

The Brothers and Dateables With a Tattoo Artist MC

My own MC was a tattoo artist before she came to the Devildom, so I thought I’d write up some head cannons with a tattoo artist MC.

MC is gender neutral!

Mammon

Nobody can convince me that the “Brothers Under a Pact” squad wouldn't be the first ones to get tattoos from MC, and Mammon would definitely be the first

Definitely likes to brag about it too

Don't remind him that there are countless people in the human realm that you tattooed before him or he will pout

People tend to think that Mammon is cheap and would try to talk you into giving him free or cheap tattoos, but he couldn't stand to be like that towards you especially regarding something that you’re so good at

Our first man works his butt off every time he wants to get some new ink from you

Likes to give you a big ole tip every time

Gets fidgety when he has to sit still for too long so you two have to take breaks often

Prefers small/medium sized tattoos rather than really big ones

One time after he started getting tattoos from you, he was at a modeling gig and they tried to make him cover them up with makeup, he quit and that magazine went bankrupt not too long after...dont fuck with the avatar of greed

Once your shop starts taking off in the Devildom, he and Asmo try to convince you to do a shoot for Majolish(They definitely didn't pull some strings to get Majolish to do a whole segment about you and your business)

Beelzebub

The second brother to get a tattoo from MC

Refuses to get any food related tattoos: he doesn't want to accidentally take a chunk out of himself when he gets blinded by his hunger

This man has a very high pain tolerance and sits like a rock while you're tattooing him and you love him for it

He definitely needs snack breaks during longer sessions though

Has a memorial tattoo for Lillith over his heart that matches with one on Belphie

While making this list I was randomly blessed with the mental image of Beel with abuncha old school American traditional tattoos and you can pry that headcannon from my cold, dead hands

Mammon likes to brag that he has the most tattoos from you, but Beel might give him a run for his money, he doesn't mind Mammon’s bragging most of the time though, so he just lets him believe whatever he wants this time

Simeon

But Simeon has never been all that great at following the rules that they set for him

The first of the dateables to get a tattoo

He wasn't actually planning on getting a tattoo at first, but one day he overheard Luke trying to scold you for all of your tattoos(definitely before the incident with Beel and Lucifer in the underground tomb) and that was the only push he needed to jump on the “tattoos from MC” train

There is a lot of rhetoric in the Celestial Realm about how “Your body is a temple and you should not mark it”

He’s still not willing to stray too far from his roots though, so he’d probably get something with vaguely religious undertones

Absolutely delights in the shocked look on your face and the sheepish questions on whether angels are allowed to do this

Once he’s finally convinced you that you're not damning him to fall by tattooing him, the process goes by very easily

He is very easygoing and open regarding designs and he handles the pain very well

He absolutely loves to show his tattoo off, even when he goes home to the Celestial Realm and receives his reprimands from Michael

Leviathan

The third brother to get a tattoo from MC

Didn't want to get a tattoo at first, all of that physical contact and pain on top of it? No way

But then Mammon, Beel, and even Simeon all got one and he got jealous

You're HIS Henry, why are THEY the ones who get to wear your art? He might’ve been able to deal with his dumb brothers, but SIMEON TOO?

You gotta sit down with him and have a nice long chat about it, making sure this is something that he would actually want to do and not just his envy talking

Spoiler alert: It was definitely just his envy talking

He realises that he is actually oddly attached to the idea of getting a tattoo from you now though, so he comes up with designs and draws them on himself until he is certain that he won't regret it

Would get something tiny and probably gaming related

Definitely very squeamish about the pain aspect but the design that the two of you came up with is very simple and small, so he is able to make it through without fainting

He absolutely loves his new tattoo...but he is never doing that again

Belphegor

Fourth brother to get a tattoo

Has wanted to get one ever since Beel showed him the tattoo he got in memory of Lillith, but things were very...not good...between the two of you at that point

Finally worked up the courage to at least ask if you would be okay with it after the two of you made a pact

Beel, forgetting his super high pain tolerance, told him that it getting a tattoo doesn't hurt at all, so he was in for a big surprise when he went under the needle for the first time

Whiny at first, but he manages to stay very still for you

Has a memorial tattoo for Lilith over his heart that matches with one on Beel

Will definitely start to doze off during long sessions

Convinced Satan to get a matching Anti Lucifer League tattoo with him(definitely doesn't try to convince you to get one too)

Make sure that he does not, under any circumstances, actually fall asleep while you're tattooing him. He did once and he rolled over in his sleep, almost ruining an entire tattoo

Ever since that time, Beel has come with him to his sessions so you could focus on your work and he can focus on keeping Belphie awake

Satan

Gets his tattoo not long after Belphie

One of those people that think every tattoo needs to mean something so he takes forever trying to pick out something that he wants

Would probably get some sort of quote or design inspired by his favorite book, something that really resonated with who he is as a person

Was somehow convinced by Belphie to get an Anti Lucifer League tattoo

Does he regret it whenever he realizes that he now has a portion of his skin dedicated to Lucifer of all people? Possibly, but he definitely won't say anything about it to you

Loves to look at you and just admire your tattoos, asking the stories behind each and every one of them that he can see

He might be a bigger fan of literature than the fine arts, but that doesn't mean that he has any less of an appreciation for your work

Definitely pulls some strings and gets one of his friends who owns an art gallery to display some of your work there

Can set you up with all the connections that you need to make your mark on the Devildom art world

Lucifer

The last of the brothers to get a tattoo

In the beginning he has no intentions of getting a tattoo, he does have alot of respect for your talents and how hard you work for them though

As an art lover and artist himself, he will most certainly commission you from time to time and hang your work in his study

He won't admit it, but seeing your art and thinking of you when he's stressed with work is very soothing

He eventually decides to let you tattoo him only if it’s in a place that is easily covered by his clothes, considering how he dresses that leaves you with pretty much his entire body to work with

Sometimes when he has some time off he will grab a sketchbook and join you if he finds you in the common room working on a design, you share a comfortable silence, with the only sounds be the crackling of the fireplace and the scratching of pencils on paper

The kind of person that wants a tattoo but has no idea what he actually wants, but hes picky as fuck so he will turn down every single idea that you give him for weeks

He is lucky that you love him

Whenever you two talk about placements, if you mention anything on his back to cover up the scars from his wings he will almost back out entirely

Almost

Afew months later he’ll put his pride aside come back, admitting that your ideas would be perfect and that he wants to go through with it

During the session he has way too much pride to admit that he was feeling any pain

That is until you have to start going over the scars

As soon as the needles hit scar tissue he starts to fall apart; tears, shaking, the whole nine yards

It takes you quite a few sessions to finish since he cant handle such long sessions on that portion of his back

The summer after his new back piece is finished, he goes with you and his brothers back to Diavolo’s beach, this time he takes his shirt off in front of everyone for the first time since the fall

He wears your art with such pride that he lets everyone keep the memory, he even lets Asmo keep the pictures he took of all of them up on Devilgram

Diavolo

Wanted to be the first to get a tattoo but Barbatos said no

If you want to continue your career in the Devildom for the duration of your stay, he will buy you a building to work from and any supplies to get started since you had to leave your stuff in the human realm

Diavolo has rooms in the castle filled with the art that he's collected over the years, so when he sees that you're an artist he gets so excited

Before he finally gets tattooed by you, he buys a lot of your artwork and hangs it up around the castle

It takes a few years to propose the idea again to Barbatos in a way that wont make the butler’s hair fall out from stress, but he finally relented under one condition: it has to be in an area that is still hidden while he’s in his demon form

He decides that his legs would be the perfect place to indulge in your artistic talents while also keeping Barbatos’s controlling side at bay

Hes another one that knows he wants a tattoo but no clue what he wants to get

Unlike Lucifer though, he is a true open canvas

He truly adores your art so he wholeheartedly trusts you with his body and knows that he will love anything that you do for him

He knows that this is most likely very nerve wracking for you considering his position so he tries to reassure you and make the process very easy for you

You still put everything into designing him something fit for a king

He’s the type to prefer large pieces that span over entire sections of his body rather than abuncha small/medium sized ones

Another fidgetter, he’s really not all that accustomed to pain so he doesn't have a high tolerance for it

Likes to treat you to dinner at Ristorante Six after each of his sessions

Tips like the absolute king he is, you could probably pay a couple months of rent back at your apartment in the Human Realm just from his tip

Once his tattoo is finally finished and healed, he will find every excuse that he can think of to invite you and the brothers on outings to places where he is free from scrutiny to wear shorts and show off your artwork

Barbatos

The last of all of the boys to get a tattoo

It was a complete shock to everyone when he came to you and asked if he could make an appointment to get tattooed by you

“Everyone” being you, Diavolo, and Lucifer because nobody else knows that it happened and he would like to keep it that way

Another member of the “I’ll get one as long as it’s somewhere nobody will see” club...so basically not his face

Before the two of you get to talking about designs, you expect him to go with something small and simple, maybe an elegant little teapot or something along those lines

Then this man comes to his consultation and throws you for a loop talking about a sleeve

Very picky, he has high standards for himself and what's on his body

Knows exactly what he wants but does his best not to stifle your creativity during the design process

You learn ALOT about just who lurks behind Barbatos’s mild-mannered butler facade during his sessions, he’s surprisingly upfront and honest whenever you have him under the needle

Solomon

Can't get a tattoo

This man has pact marks for 72 demons all over his body, there is simply no more room

Any open space he has is being saved just in case any other demons *cough* Lucifer *cough* ever decide to come around to making a pact

Collects your flash and hangs it up around his room

If you take Diavolo up on his offer to set up a shop in the Devildom, he will make sure to tell all of his pact-mates about you, hype up your work, and get you a lot of business in the door

Sometimes he will commission art from you and use magic to make your art temporarily appear on his skin over the pact marks

Once you become a sorcerer and have a better grasp on your magic, he helps you experiment in creating magical inks and enchanting tattoos

Asmodeus

The only one that actually doesn't want to get a tattoo

He doesnt think that tattoos would fit in very well to the image that he has for himself

And not being able to show off every inch of his beautiful skin while its healing is a no from him

Since he likes to test out his new makeup and skincare products on you, sometimes after he has had his way with your face he will let you draw on him with skin safe markers

would definitely be a wimp about the pain

Will spam pictures to his Devilgram of his fancy new temporary tattoos and you drawing on him

Will definitely try to bring you some of his flings to get his name tattooed on them, you will have to reprimand him every single time and eventually he will stop

If you're not the type to keep up with social media, he’ll offer to keep up a Devilgram account for your shop

If you're ever attempting to draw and you have a very specific pose in your head that you can't find a reference for, he will not hesitate to get up and start posing for you

Luke

He is baby and cant have any tattoos until he's older

His mind frequently bounces back and forth between the whole “your body is a temple” rhetoric that he was taught growing up and “wow that's so cool!”

After Simeon got his tattoo Luke became a lot more enthusiastic and curious about your job though

Will occasionally ask if he can have one of your flash sheets so he can color your pictures

These very often end up on the fridge in Purgatory Hall

Sometimes they even make their way to the fridge in the House of Lamentation too

Will this make the brothers jealous? Yes. Do you care? No.

Luke loves you and looks up to you so much that he goes through a little phase of wanting to copy you, yourself and the entirety of Purgatory Hall can expect loads of temporary marker tattoos

[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’

“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!

If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,

“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”

This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.

The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.

1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”

2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”

3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”

4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”

5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”

6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”

7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”

8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”

9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”

12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”

13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”

14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”

16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”

17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”

In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.