#but at the same time. well. she needs to check!
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stay for a fortnight
a/n: as promised, here is part three of the bodyguard!bucky story ŕ§ŕ
summary:Â âyes, ground rules,â you sighed, forcing your eyes to rest on anything but him, âitâs just you and me here for two whole weeks, so weâll need to come up with a plan.â
warnings:Â bodyguard!bucky barnes x reader, smut, readerâs mom is the british ambassador to france, age gap (10-15 years), tattooed!bucky (both a metal arm and tattoos as picked in a poll by you), beefy!bucky, forbidden romance, staying for two weeks at a chateau in the south of france, forced proximity, bucky is a shameless hoe and we love him for it, kissing, love confession, shower sex, dirty talk, manhandling, size kink, belly bulge, gaping, handjob, fingering, impact play, squirting, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, cumplay
word count: 3870
âź gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here â˝
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âIâm sorry, darling. I tried to get out of it, I really did, even for just one day, but I canât join you at the chateau this time.âÂ
âItâs alright, mom,â you exhaled, âI understand.â
Soothingly rubbing her palm down the length of your arm, she suggested, âwell, since it wonât be as crowded down there, why donât you stay a little longer? Maybe a proper break might cheer you up. Maybe one extra week?â
âActually, two weeks of alone time is just what I need right now,â a faint smile managed to emerge on your lips, âthank you.â
âGreat! You go and pack your things, Iâll let Barnes know to do the same,â she announced, and squashed the brief relief you felt just as soon as it had washed over you.Â
It felt like ages that Bucky made you sit and wait in the car while he went around the estate to do his initial sweep, making sure it was safe and secure before you got to enter.Â
The tenseness that still floated ethereally in the air between you didnât fade away when he finally came back to crack open the door for you to exit the vehicle.Â
âSo,â you exhaled once the two of you had crossed the threshold of the chateau, âmy room is the one upstairs and at the end of the hallway, yours is wherever the fuck you want, there are like a million bedrooms in this place.â
Your footsteps echoed against the elegantly tiled floors as you twisted to check that he even heard you. He had, seeing as his gaze was still ever glued upon you, though he didnât offer you a reply.Â
Shifting the large bag that hung from your shoulder, the luggage that you stubbornly hadnât let him carry, you paused just before your stride began to ascend the grand staircase in the middle of the foyer.
âAlso, I think we should come up with some ground rules.âÂ
Your bodyguardâs dark eyebrows then crinkled as he half scoffed, âground rules?â
âYes, ground rules,â you sighed, forcing your eyes to rest on anything but him, âitâs just you and me here for two whole weeks, so weâll need to come up with a plan.â
Exhaling slowly, he simply stated, âwhatever you say.â
Before you then began to drift up the wide steps, you cast a glance over your shoulder and said, âmeet me in the kitchen in ten.â
âAlright,â you breathed, leaning against the cold marble of the kitchen island as you stared down at the small list youâd scribbled down on a stray post-it you had found in the bottom of your bag, slightly crumbled and with a doodle on the other side, âfirst rule Iâd like to instate is an obvious one, but still needs to be set and stone in order for us to be here together. We canât sleep together.â
When you heard a low sigh seep from Buckyâs lips, your eyes snapped up to glare at him.Â
âHey! Take this fucking seriously, okay?â
âI am,â he assured you, though his tone indicated the complete opposite of his words.Â
âSo, rule number two is in prolonging of the first one, which is that we canât do anything thatâll make us want to sleep with each other,â you cast your glance back down to your messy handwriting, âtwo A, no swimming in the pool, two B, no nudity, two C, definitely no drinking, and two D, no staring at me,â your eyes flickered back up to catch his blue ones, âespecially not like that,â you swiftly gestured to the way he gazed at you.
âLike what?â he didnât change the manner he looked at you.Â
âLike youâve seen me naked!âÂ
Your shriek unfortunately only won you the glimpse of a smug smirk upon Buckyâs lips, one you swiftly tried to ignore.Â
âOkay,â you blinked in an effort to redirect your attention back to the task at hand and not the butterflies that now soared in your stomach and made you slightly dizzy, ârule number three is technically also under the subsection of number two, but we canât eat our meals together. No candle-lit dinners, not even a snack.â
Budding in, the man on the other side of the kitchen counter then said, âcan I say something?â
With a soft sigh, you mustered the courage to look up at him, âshoot.â
âDo you wanna decide what I wear as well while you're at it? Maybe also when Iâm allowed to breathe?â
His jest didnât as much as conjure a twitch at the corners of your lips as your gaze simply narrowed in his direction, âare you mocking me?â
Boldly leaning his forearms down against the tabletop, he stared back at you, âso what if I am?â though when you assumed he was kidding and you let out a groan, you heard him go on, âall Iâm saying is that maybe we donât set a list of hard rules just to avoid each other. We seem to do just fine when we toss them all out the window.â
âI'm sorry, wait, what?â you blinked.Â
âWeâve got two weeks here, so why donât we make them count?â he shrugged.Â
Mouth agape, you dumbfoundedly stared back at him, âyouâre kidding, right?â
âDo I look like Iâm kidding?â calmly, his head tilted slightly as he held your stunned gaze, âjust think about it.â
The sun only barely managed to set before you felt yourself crack and give in to your bodyguardâs offer.Â
Storming into his room, his dark brows only got the chance to rise slightly in astonishment before you nearly tackled him to the ground, throwing your arms around his bulky frame and crashing your lips against his before any of you could say even a single word.Â
You didnât try to hide the raw emotions that came pouring out, causing your efforts to be rough and desperate, though it didnât take long before Buckyâs touch mirrored the feral nature of your own, leaving you dizzy as you eventually withdrew from the starved kiss, clutching onto his shirt for support as you breathlessly ordered.Â
âTake off your clothes.â
Keeping your eyes closed, you tilted your head back to let the drizzle of water rinse out the shampoo from your locks.Â
The door to the bathroom was wide open, so when you twisted your form to face the showerhead, you didnât notice as your faithful protector stopped in his slow tracks right on the other side of the threshold. His eyes trailed down your glistening spine till the sight of you caused him to crumble completely and take advantage of the gift that had just fallen into his lap. Â
A low purr vibrated within your chest as the warm water rained down upon you, though suddenly, it wasnât just the hot shower embracing your form, as a pair of burly arms snaked their way around you. Leaning back into his bulky frame, you caught sight of a crumbled bundle of his clothes tossed on the other side of the fogged-up shower door. A blissful hum crackled within you like a roiling fire as you felt his lips begin to plant soft pecks along the line of your shoulders.Â
Though as his touch began to bloom and wander boldly down your frame, a gentle hiss tore through your lazy smile as his fingers came into contact and brushed over your core.Â
Nipping at your neck, he murmured, âoh, do you want me to stop?â not removing his metal hand, though halted the pattern he had begun to draw over your petals.Â
He already knew full well just how sore and swollen you still were. It would have been impossible not to be after the vigorous activities youâd kept the past week busy with. Â
Digging your digits into his forearms to keep you in his embrace, you shot back hazily over your shoulder, âdonât you dare,â before a whimper rippled out of you as Bucky once again rolled your puffy pearl beneath his steely touch.Â
âHow is it that weâve already done this for a whole week, yet it only feels like a day?â his voice tickled the shell of your ear as you leaned more of your weight back into him.Â
âReally? Because I donât believe youâd be able to fuck me in a day as many times as you have this past week,â you jested through a whimper, âeven for a guy with your stamina.âÂ
âItâs a good thing itâs just the two of us here⌠imagine if we hadnât been alone, if it hadnât been me walking by and seeing you seduce me like the wicked temptress that you are?â
âI wasnât trying to do anything of the sort,â you chuckled airily.Â
âReally?â he teased just as his touch did, âleaving the door open, that wasnât on purpose?âÂ
âNo, I swear,â you then tilted your head and admitted, âat least not this timeâŚâ
âYou mean the time back a month ago when didnât close the door while taking a bath,â he murmured casually, âthen called out to me, asking if I could fetch you a towel, and I had to pretend not to hear you?â
Spinning around at once, your eyebrows were nearly at your hairline as you blinked, âyou knew?âÂ
âBaby, you never had to play that hard just to torture me,â he smiled down at you, âthat move was downright cruel,â before he reached for the knob and switched off the water.
A squeal bubbled out of you as Bucky then suddenly plucked you up into his arms, wasting no time before he stepped out of the shower, only pausing for a beat in the comparatively more spacious area, though only in order to manhandle you further and toss you over his shoulder before his feet began to shift once more, leaving wet prints in their wake on the cool tile as he strode towards the exit.Â
Strung over his shoulder as if you were a wet piece of laundry and he was the line, you giggled, âwait!â and just managed to catch one of the fluffy towels hanging on the hook he passed. Blinking down at the floor as he crossed the threshold, you watched as droplets of water dribbled down from you both and left a trail on the herringbone flooring, âyouâre dripping, youâre gonna get the whole house wet!â
Landing his wide palm in a wet smack across your ass, he chuckled, âI thought that was my line, sweetheart,â teasing about the manner your pussy drooled for him, already leaking down your thighs at this point.Â
Soon, the long hallway disappeared from your periphery as Bucky entered the nearest of the many bedrooms, though you barely had time to register your new surroundings before the world fell out from under you and he plopped you down on the bed in the middle of the room.Â
Standing his ground and looming above the giggle that was your horizontal form, he stole the towel from your grasp before dragging the terrycloth across your skin. As he dried off the droplets of water that clung to your body, a handful of pecks adorned your flesh as well, often shadowing the cloth.Â
Gazing up at him with smile-crinkled eyes, you stretched your feet up in the air, against his torso, and rested them against his wide shoulders as he briefly paused to dry himself off as well. But as he returned to sweep the towel across the last remaining spot upon your body that still glistened from the shower, the peck he pressed to the valley between your boobs was swiftly halted as your grasp found his jaw and you guided his face up towards your own.Â
As you brought his lips to your own, you swiftly felt the mattress dent and ripple as he crawled up to hover above you.Â
âAhh, fuckâŚâ he then groaned against your lips as your hand snaked down between your bodies and began to stroke his throbbing girth.Â
Tossing the towel to the side, a gasp soon tumbled out past your lips as Buckyâs palms found your tits in a gentle squeeze. Your pebbly nipples stood up to the challenge as he swept a knuckle teasingly across one of them before capturing it in a pinch and tugging slightly to summon a sinful sound deep within your body.Â
As your fist slowly twisted up and down his hard length, his close proximity caused your own knuckles to brush across your clit at every heated pass. Almost unconsciously, you tilted your hips slightly and nudged the bulbous tip of him through your glistening petals, the pleasure of which caused your eyes to roll in your skull.Â
But just before he could take the initiative and catch your fleeting invitation to let him inside, you caught him off guard and suddenly rolled him onto his back with your frame plastered atop of him.Â
Propping yourself up slightly, you grasped his fat girth before slowly sinking down upon it, âo-oh my god,â couldnât help but breathlessly tumble out of your lungs as a flat palm came down to brace on his broad chest and your thighs gently quivered at the sudden stretch of him. It was a few times that you had to pause on your slow journey down just in order to catch your breath, as his intimidating size caused you to question yet again how youâd ever been able to take it before.Â
âAtta girl,â his grip dug into your hips when you slowly began to move, âjust like thatâŚâ though you still couldnât persuade your pelvis to sink all the way down to meet his own.Â
As you found a gentle roll, one of Buckyâs palms scooped up past your waist and caught one of your tits. Your back arched slightly as he played with your boobs, his hand travelling back and forth as you rode him, though a shuttering moan rippled through your body as he landed a gentle tap down upon one of them, a shiver swiftly trickling down your spine at the spark.
But just as you thought the bodyguard beneath you was blissfully enjoying the show and letting you do all the work yourself, his hips then abruptly offered you a greedy buck. Â
âBucky!â you nearly screamed as he buried the last few inches that you had so fiercely struggled to conquer on your own, âthatâsâ, Iâ, holy fuck!âÂ
You hadnât been able to take all of him on your own, so he just gave you the little nudge that you needed, even if that nudge thoroughly punched all of the oxygen out of your lungs, he still made you take every staggering inch.
âCome on, donât stop now,â a chuckle escaped him at your reaction before his palm came down upon your ass to get you back to work, âmake yourself cum on this cock.âÂ
Shakily, you tried to pick up your rhythm once more, dropping your hips to meet his, though he couldnât remain still for long before he began to fuck up into your warmth. Heavy taps echoed throughout the room as his balls slapped against your slick skin at his efforts. As he met your movements halfway and drove his cock much deeper than you could muster on your own, your left hand drifted down to strum your buzzing clit.Â
Already dangerously close to the edge, your hazy gaze flickered down to watch not only how your pussy magically swallowed his big dick, but your eyes also caught sight of the dull bulge that appeared in your lower abdomen, making your brain feel even more fuzzy than before. As your glance flickered back to try and catch his, you found his own stare to still be fiercely locked on the same spot where yours had just strayed from, watching intently at just how deep he went, nearly rearranging your guts just to mould you perfectly to fit his shape.Â
When you finally reached your peak, your cunt nearly choked his cock as your silky walls clambered down on him, a small accompaniment of sinful gush squirted around him and drizzled to soak the sheets below.Â
While you were still foggy with your eyes barely open, Bucky rolled you both over, his dick still throbbing deep within you. Welcoming the softness of the bed beneath you with a gentle sigh, he then captured your lips in a kiss and swallowed the whimpers that promptly bubbled up as he began to fuck you once more, offering you long, deep strokes that sank you so far into the mattress that you began to wonder if you might rock through it completely. Â
âO-oh, so fucking d-deep,â you blubbered. A rhythmic cry forced its way out of your lungs each and every time the tip of him kissed your cervix, nearly bullying the deepest parts of you in a manner that made you feel like the wobbliest of jellies.Â
âYou scared Iâm gonna break you, baby?â his soft lips ghosted against your cheekbone.Â
âIâ, maybe,â you admitted, blinking up at the way his frame eclipsed your vision, âbut it feels so good, I donât care if you do,â though your confession ended up not only exclusively being about the purely physical entanglement you currently found yourselves in.Â
A deep growl rumbled in his chest as his hands scooped down beneath your bottom, before he let himself manhandle you, repeatedly dragging your hips up to grant him a better angle for him to fuck into. A bit of drool trickled out the corner of your mouth and found the pillow below your head when his cock soon throbbed within you, pumping you full of his hot load.Â
When he pulled back out of your warmth, your pussy didnât get to stay empty for long as his cool metal fingers swiftly took his dickâs place. Plugging you full, his frame shifted slightly to grant him a good view of the leaky mess heâd made of you. As he pushed his cum deeper inside of you, scooping it back in as his fingers forced it out, he increasingly added more and more digits till the amount matched the girth that had just split you apart, before he withdrew them all at once and grinned proudly at the way he made your hole gape slightly for him, before winking back to a closed as if heâd never even tickled you before.Â
It didnât take long with all of his molten motions before your pussy wept for him once more, a display he only drew out as his fingers stayed hooked inside of you while his other palm came down to offer your puffy pearl a few taps.Â
A hazy giggle was bubbling out of your shaky frame as his attentive touch finally faded and his kisses fluttered back up your body till your arms wrapped around him and drew him in close.Â
As you layed there in the plush bed and stared up at the ceiling, you didnât know yet that the man sprawled out beside you was awake as well.Â
You just couldnât find rest no matter how hard you tried, for how could you as tonight was your last night in the chateau.Â
Carefully, you slipped out from under the covers, grabbed your long robe from the armchair it was draped over, and tip-toed towards the wide French doors that lead out onto a balcony. Pushing the doors open, a mild gust of wind rustled the robe as you fastened the tie around your waist and crossed over the threshold.Â
Though you knew that you didnât have any other choice, the thought of returning home in the morning still broke your heart. The last thing you wanted to do was burst that dreamlike bubble that you and your bodyguard had built together and go back to a world completely desaturated of colour.Â
Not only had you made the grave mistake of repeating history, but putting it under such an intense microscope didnât help matters either, as well as your feelings, those having become terrifyingly clear over the past two weeks.Â
âHey,â you suddenly heard the doors behind you creak and you tore your hazy gaze away from the dark gardens below to spot Bucky gently leaning against the doorframe.Â
âHi,â you breathed, keeping a flat palm on the ivy-covered stone railing as you twisted your frame slightly to glance at him, âIâm sorry, did I wake you?â
âNo, I was already awake,â he shrugged slightly before joining you outside in the pale moonlight, âyou okay?â
âYeahâŚâ you sighed, casting your gaze back upon the woods blooming in the distance.Â
ââŚwell, that didnât sound very convincing,â he chuckled gently as he settled in beside you, leaning both his forearms against the half-wall, âdo you wanna talk about it?â
Sucking in a breath, your eyes flickered over to catch his own, âI justââŚâ you hesitantly began before admitting, âI donât wanna go back to ParisâŚâÂ
âWhy not?â though a crinkle found his brow, his expression still softened, âis there something going on with you and your mother?â
âNo, itâs nothing like that,â you shook your head, âI just donât wanna go home yetâŚâ staring at him a moment longer, you then heard yourself confess, ââŚIâ⌠I donât want this to end yetâŚâ
Watching closely as his lungs expanded with oxygen, for the first time you witnessed the gruff man look utterly and completely stunned, simply staring down at you with bated breath.Â
Parting your lips once more, you nearly whispered, ââŚI donât wanna go back to pretending that Iâm not in love with youâŚâÂ
Bucky didnât say a word, only continued to stare as he tried to comprehend the truth youâd just professed.
âI love you,â you gathered up the nerve to spit out, âI love you now⌠I loved you this morning⌠I loved you after youâd probably only worked at the embassy for a few weeksâŚâ your vision became blurred as tears began to form in your eyes and you continued to babble, âand I donât think those feelings are planning on changing anytime soon, so it only seemed fair for you to be aware of that for when I ask you in two seconds if you wanna keep this thing between us going, because I do, though probably for different reasons than youâ, not that I donât enjoy that part, you are an incredible lay, I just didnât think it would be fair for you to be unaware of the feelings I've developed for you, because I donât know how to ignore them anymore, andâ, oh my god, please just say something, I feel like I arrived naked at school or somethingââ
But before you could ramble any further, Bucky seized your face and fiercely pressed his lips to your own. A shiver ran down your spine and nearly caused your knees to buckle as he kissed you, and when he withdrew, slowly pulling back, he found your stary gaze and uttered, ââŚI donât think thatâs gonna be a problem,â he then sucked in a breath before confessing, âbecause Iâ⌠Y/n, I love you tooâŚâÂ
Š 2024 thyme-in-a-bubbleÂ
#leaâs writing#bodyguard!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bodyguard!bucky#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#sebastian stan smut#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes oneshot#winter soldier smut#bucky barnes hc#bucky x reader
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She tastes so sweet.
Pitfighter!vi going down on you for the first time and becoming addicted.
warnings: smut 18+ ONLY, vaginal fingering, semi public sex, bathroom sex, hook ups, clubs, alcohol, kissing, marking, service top!vi, reader has no confirmed gender but they're wearing a dress in this for the scenario reasons, vi is quiet a fuckboy, oral sex (reader receiving)
Vi has always had her fair sure of fun over the years, she wasn't new to this, after she wins a match she just really wants to fuck someone.
She goes to a club where she'll know exactly who to find, she's scanning the room where her eyes land on you, who happen to be dancing with their friends, enjoying yourself as you look so pretty.
Vi smirks.
That's the one.
You just looked so nice in that dress you were wearing, she just wanted to rip it off and see whats underneath, your smile is enough to make anyone swoon, she wonders if you even know those that eye you in the dark from afar when you aren't watching.
The loud music blasts in her ears as she takes a sip of her beer, everything was loud, but she liked it, she needed it.
She felt good and she wanted to make someone else feel good.
It's not the first time she's seen you around, she's spotted you before, she's just been watching you, keeping her eye on you, making sure you're okay, while your friends get shit faced drunk, you don't seem like the type to get drunk easily, maybe a little tipsy, but that happens with everyone after a few cups.
When she sees your friend whisper something in your ear she knew she was going to leave you alone, she didn't like that, not when she spotted a guy checking you out, was she doing the same thing? Yes, but that guy had red flags all over him, he was bad news.
Vi didn't trust him.
As soon as you were left alone, seemingly in your own world, enjoying the music, the guy makes his way to you, taking advantage of it. Immediately, vi places her drink back down as she walks through the crowd of drunk people.
Before the guy could even say anything to you, she grabbed a drink already and purposely bumped into him, spilling it all over him, he swore under his breath.
"damn, you should probably go clean that up" Vi said, staring him down, he should know vi wasn't playing around with you and he scoffed, cursing more as he stormed off.
Then there was you, still oblivious to the whole thing.
She taps you on the shoulder, causing you to jump slightly as you turned around, probably expecting your friend.
"hi?" You slurred, she smiled, thinking it was cute. "Have you seen Hannah? Is she back yet?" You ask.
Vi shakes her head, "sorry, dunno Hannah is."
"fuckin' bitch probably left me with some dick" you groaned in annoyance, she couldn't help but chuckle at that.
"I could accompany you, if you want", vi offered, she wanted to be smooth about this, not being to obvious that she wanted to get in your pants, but the way you raised your eyebrows at her and checked her out, your eyes roaming her entire body which made her heart flutter, she knew what you wanted.
Before she knows it, she's pushing you against the wall of the bathroom that smells like shit but she couldn't care less, all she focused on was the taste of your lips and how soft they felt against hers. She heard you chuckle, as she pushed your dress up, you held it up for her as she kissed her way down, leaving her marks, enjoying the way you squirmed for her and moaned, fuck, she needed you.
She places her fingers inside your panties to tease you, she moans at how wet you already were, you let out a moan as she dipped her finger easily inside your wet folds, you felt so good, she pumped her finger in and out of you slowly at first, you were a whining mess, your hands gripping her shoulders.
She watched you in awe, as she felt you clench around her, it was making her dizzy, she's never fucked someone this wet before, well, not in a long time.
She pulls her fingers out hearing you whine, she doesn't say anything but grins, bending down on her knees as she kisses down your stomach, just above your waist, you body was begging for it and so was you, she loved the way noises you made, it drove her insane.
Once she pulled off your underwear fully, it was soaked, she moaned at the sight of your pussy, how pretty it looked, how much it needed her. Her own core throbbed, as she leaned in, pressing a kiss to it as she licks up your slit, hearing you moan louder and grip her hair harder, she smirks.
Vi dips her tongue in between your folds, twirling it around and making you squeal and squirm, she was showing just how fucking good she was with her mouth and she wanted to make you come on her tongue. She knew you were close with how she purposely didn't let you come before on her fingers, she wanted to taste you instead, and my god, you taste wonderful.
She couldn't get enough.
She keeps going, her hands on your thighs to hold them up as she watches you, your head against the wall, your eyes closed, getting lost in the feeling as she can't help but feel cocky about it.
Her tongue goes to tease circles at your clit, you whined, pushing your face into her, you looked so pretty like this, looking like a complete mess, moaning and whining for her while she eats you out.
She knows how much you like it too.
Your grip gets tighter as she knows you're close, she just wanted to relish in this feeling, she finally got you where she always wanted. She couldn't help but feel more smug, knowing how easy she can make you cum, make you a crying mess for her, she's obsessed, really. She wants more. She pushes her tongue into you, hearing you gasp as she fucks you with her tongue, moaning at the taste, you whimper above her, riding her face as she's in heaven.
She watches you come with a cry of her name, not even caring how loud you are in the moment, she loves it, she loves every bit of it, she leans away, licking her lips as you stared at her in a daze with a smile, your hand still in her hair.
"you wanna come to mine, sweetheart?" She asks, you've never agreed to something so fast in your life.
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Hii, Jade đ¤ please bring back singledad!spencer, reader and Amanda 𼚠they r so special
âSpencer experiences your first Spencer-brought-upon baby fever, to his shock. fem, 2kÂ
(cw: reader is written as enthusiastically wanting kids)Â
Spencerâs been reading to Amanda since the moment she could open her eyes. By two months she was cooing in delight whenever he spoke, and that included during story time. He didnât mind that she didnât understand, he just loved being with her. He still does.Â
So when Amy interrupts your conversation to beg for him to read her something, he gives you an apologetic look, asking, âDo you mind?âÂ
âOf course I donât mind.â You wouldnât, youâre like an angel, leaning back on the couch with little urgency as Amy climbs into Spencerâs lap.
âThank you. Sorry for interrupting,â Amy says.Â
âGosh, youâre so smart,â Spencer says, tucking a curl of her hair behind her ear. âInterrupting, thatâs a big word.âÂ
âGo ahead,â you say, getting comfortable in front of one of Spencerâs woven cushions. âIâll listen too, if thatâs okay.âÂ
Spencer opens the storybook to the first page. Amy likes this one. The corners of the pages are soft with use. âCerysâ Brave Day,â he begins, grinning as Avery pushes herself up his chest to look down at the illustrations. âCerys wakes up without mommy. Cerys makes her own way out of bed. There is no mommy to wipe her face or brush her hair. My mommy, she thinks, is not there.âÂ
Amy smiles into Spencerâs cheek. He wraps an arm around her, as if to say, I know, angel, itâs exciting. âHer mommy must be having a slow day. She doesnât appear to give Cerys any help. And Cerys saysââ
âNo way!â Amy finishes, pointing at the drawing of a bathroom sink and toothbrush. âI donât want to brush my teeth by myself!âÂ
It goes on like that for some time. Spencer notices you getting closer as he goes on, your arm pressing to his side.Â
Cerys finds that her mommy is having a slow day. Cerysâ mommy is just as loving as the other momâs, but sometimes she takes longer to help Cerys brush her hair, and get dressed. Cerys has to be a brave, smart girl, and help her mommy with the small things. Spencer enjoys it, and thought it was a great expression of empathy for Amy to one day understand.
âLater, when mommy feels better, she says Iâm sorry for being so slow. Mommy didnât mean to forget her, she just struggles to get up and go.Â
âCerys doesn't want her to be sorry. She loves helping her mommy out. Because mommy loves Cerys, and Cerys loves mommy, and thatâs never been in any doubt.âÂ
Amy turns her face to Spencer with a huge smile, somehow bigger than when it started. âI love that story,â she says.Â
Spencer lets the storybook fall closed in her lap. âItâs a good one, huh?âÂ
âWhat do you think, Y/N?â Amy asks.Â
Youâre delighted by Amy in a way Spencerâs used to seeing in the mirror. âI loved it. Daddyâs a good storyteller, and youâre such a good assistant. You know lots of the big words.âÂ
She preens. âThanks.âÂ
You canât resist her, pushing against the top of her head with a nice palm. âYouâre welcome.âÂ
âCan we have another one?â she asks.Â
Spencer checks the time on his watch. Amy realised it was bedtime before he did, it seems. âCome on, lovely girl. Letâs start getting ready for bed, and you can have any story you want.âÂ
Heâs obviously not expecting you to leave, but at the same time, things are new enough between you that when he asks if you want to sleepover, your grinning âYes, please,â throws him for a loop.Â
You have spare clothes and toiletries in the bedroom. You ask to take a quick shower and get all smiley and shy when he says you never have to ask.Â
âSo dad,â Amy says.Â
âSo Amy,â he says, pulling down the blankets on her bed. She has five layers because suddenly November is cold. He wonders if she needs a sixth.Â
âI canât sleep in the big bed tonight.âÂ
âWell, that depends on how badly you want to.â
âReally?âÂ
âYouâve known Y/N for a long time, right? Sheâs been my friend for a long time, before she was my partner. I think sheâd be okay with having you sleep in the big bed again if you need to. It was your place before it was her place, and she knows that.âÂ
âWellâŚâÂ
He grabs her under the arms and places her in bed. She could use her stepping stool, but he likes picking her up and putting her down. It makes him feel super paternal. âJust think about it, angel. If you change your mind, you can just come and knock the door.Â
âPromise?âÂ
âHoney.â He kisses her forehead twice, before pulling the blankets up over her, and turning on her mushroom night light. âHowâs that? Okay, I promise you can still come knock my door. Cross my heart.âÂ
âCan you stay for a little?â she asks.Â
Spencer sits on her bed by her legs. They feel weirdly small under his hand despite the padding heâs given her. âBabe, are you sure youâre warm enough? This does not feel like enough blankets.âÂ
âItâs loads. Give me a hug.âÂ
Spencer lays down in her bed, almost falls off, and covers her with his arm. Their curls tangle together on the pillowcase.Â
âLike this?â he asks.Â
âExactly.âÂ
âAmy, youâre using such big words, youâre so smart.â Heâs gonna take her for an assessment at some point. He doesnât care if sheâs super intelligent or not, but lately itâs like sheâs so much older than she is. A few days ago she said the word discombobulated. âMy smarty-pants.âÂ
âI like big words,â she says.Â
âI love you.âÂ
âI love you, too.âÂ
âRemember what Amanda means?â he asks.Â
Amy giggles as he shakes her by the tummy. âShe who must be loved.âÂ
âExactly. Loved by everyone, deserving of love. Always, from the second you were born!â He leans down to kiss her cheek, meeting her eyes as he pulls back. âOkay?âÂ
She certainly feels loved, heâd wager. He loves her so much itâs like an extra part of his soul in another person. âStory?â she asks.Â
âYes, I did say weâd have one, didnât I?â Heâd almost forgotten. Spencer grabs a couple of her soft backs from the book stand and lets her choose.Â
After heâs read a few books and given her a couple of cuddles, Amy begins to list. She presses her nose to his shoulder and mumbles something he doesnât hear.Â
âWhat did you say, sweetpea?â he mumbles.Â
âJust gooânight.âÂ
âGoodnight. Iâll tuck you in, okay?âÂ
âSpence?âÂ
Heâd almost forgot you were here. Youâre standing in the doorway, arms still damp, pyjama pants stuck to your calves. âWhereâs the fire?â he asks.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âIn a rush?âÂ
âOh, I just wanted to hear story time. Did I miss it?âÂ
Spencer kisses Amy again. âI think so. Iâm just saying goodnight.âÂ
You lean against the door. âGoodnight, then, lovely girl.âÂ
Spencer forces himself up to tuck her in. âGoodnight,â he says again, stroking the hair from her eyes, though theyâre closed already. She doesnât manage to say goodnight back, just touches his arm before he goes.Â
You take his hand when heâs close enough. He follows, pressing his face to your shoulder from behind.Â
âI like watching you be a dad.âÂ
âYeah?âÂ
âMm, youâre good at it. Itâs⌠I donât know, I know Amy isnât my baby, but I do love her, so itâs never not gonna be nice to watch you, and⌠Iâm worried to say this.âÂ
âJust say it.âÂ
âMaybe one day, IâŚâ You catch his eye and give him a panicked smile.Â
You climb into bed together. He tries to get you to finish what youâd been saying but doesnât succeed, no matter how nicely he draws that shape you love into your neck. Itâs alright, though. It doesnât matter. He nearly forgets youâve brought it up at all until youâre lifting yourself up from your place on his chest. âSpence?â you ask, so close it makes him nervous, his stomach twitching of its own volition.Â
âWhat?â he asks.Â
âI know itâs soon. I know weâre not⌠locked in. I was just thinking about our future and our family, and Iâm really happy. Andâ and if you did want to, I guess I wanna know if⌠would you ever have more?âÂ
âMore kids?â he asks, dumbfounded.Â
Your pupils are massive, staring down at him, giving your eyes this darkness so rare in your gaze. âHave you ever thought about it?âÂ
âOf course I have, especially with you.âÂ
You fluster but push through. Your laugh warms his lips as you lean down. âDonât say that.âÂ
âIsnât that what you just said?âÂ
You kiss him. He lifts his chin too fast to follow you and ends up pushing you away. His cheek is burning in your hand, your index finger to the corner of his eye and so, so tender where it touches an eyelash. âAmyâs so much like you, honey,â you say, tucking a long flyaway strand behind his ear. âAnd itâs all you.âÂ
Spencer wonders if youâre perhaps entering the ovulation stage of your period, but forbids himself from asking, should he sound like a freak. But surely you canât be feeling as strongly as you are about this from story time alone. Heâs not that good at telling them.Â
âItâs not all me. Amyâs herself, and sheâs parts of everyone sheâs ever met. I think sheâs been a lot braver since she met you,â Spencer says.Â
Heâs not sure what he said there, but you peer down at him like heâs entirely new.Â
âSpencer,â you murmur, drawing a line across his cheek.
âIâd love to have a baby with you, I just thought saying that might be too much too soon.âÂ
âWell, it is,â you say, sounding insanely pleased, at odds with your words, âthatâs so soon. You shouldnât say stuff like that.âÂ
He thinks he gets it. Spencer covers your hand where youâre been caressing his cheek and brings it to his mouth, giving your knuckles a kiss. âYouâre already so caring, youâll make an amazing mother.âÂ
âNot just if we have babies though.âÂ
âNo, I know.â His hand acts for itself as he tucks your hand against his neck. âAmy loves you.â
âSheâs brilliant, Spence.â And whatever adoring youâd been ladening on him comes to an end. âHer vocabulary is insane for her age, she really is her fatherâs daughter.âÂ
You lay yourself across his chest again for a hug.Â
Spencer applauds himself for surviving whatever that was. You, eyes dark and imploring, asking him about babies and touching him like that. âAmy would love a baby sibling,â he says.Â
âHow many should we have?âÂ
He laughs loudly. The taboo of everything being too soon is forgotten as you and Spencer talk about babies, houses, what middle school Amy might go to, what daycare you could send your babies to. Itâs so exciting it makes his chest pang, thinking about living with you, about marrying you. And your enthusiastic answers make it worse. Itâs clear youâve thought about some of this stuff at depth.Â
You could really get married one day, Spencer thinks. Thereâs a real possibility you might say yes.Â
âDo you really think Amy wouldnât mind a sister?â you whisper.Â
âSheâs asked me a couple of times how she can get one, so yeah. I think we can safely assume sheâd like that.âÂ
âShe asked you that?â you coo. âAw, lovely girl, what did you tell her?âÂ
âWell, I told her she came from a pumpkin.âÂ
âYou did?âÂ
âMm. It was my fault then when she got very excited at Halloween.âÂ
You giggle into his neck. âWhen we have a baby, weâll buy her a pumpkin.âÂ
âOr a squash, but I donât think we could fit a baby in a butternut.âÂ
You hug him nice and hard. Spencer isnât sure, but he suspects this is the beginning of a very new, very enjoyable chapter of your lives. Even more so when you nose at his jaw and mumble something about his âkissabilityâ.Â
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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Spring Fling - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader (Part Five) (18+) / Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
Summary: You should have known the âno refundsâ detail on the website for Spring Fling was a red flag. But you paid no mind to it, eager to be assigned a quick fuck for spring break. When the man that walks through your cabin door is none other than Jake 'Hangman' Seresin, your wildly infuriating fellow pilot, you have two choices: bicker the entire time and have a miserable spring break, or fuck.
Contents/Warnings: smut, minors dni. fem!reader, pilot!reader, enemies/rivals to lovers, lots and lots of arguing, could these two people be any less cooperative, sex seven ways to sunday and then some, seriously like so much smut it'll make your eyes bleed, makeouts, rough sex, oral (m+f receiving), penetrative sex, will add as i post
WC: 7.0k / navigation / inbox
A/N: Thank you all for waiting for this chapter! I know it took me longer to finish this one than it did the others but it's the longest chapter so far, and I also had a lot of major life events go down in the time between this chapter and last. I appreciate each and every single one of you who stayed patient with me, and I hope that this chapter and that the rest to come are worth the wait :) <3
feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
Youâre doing a terrible job at paying attention to where youâre going as you take the elevator, jamming your finger against the 12 button so hard it hurts. Pizza is on the twelfth floor, and youâre hoping Daniel will be there early like you so that you can forget about Jake and his tyrannical rule.Â
Itâs clear as day to you; Jake thinks he has control over you just the same way he has control over the girls that drool over him at the Hard Deck. He thinks one glance will melt your brain into mush, but it wonât. It doesnât, and youâre not letting the cockiest man you know believe heâs won you over. Especially one that you work with. If anyone found out- if any of your fellow aviators knew that youâd succumbed to Jakeâs charms⌠youâd risk losing the respect youâve fought hard to earn on the tarmac. Youâre not letting your career take a nosedive because Jake wonât stop bragging about getting his dick wet. He doesnât get a say in your life if he has nothing genuine to contribute to it. You know him well enough to know that caving in and fucking would be the worst decision of your life, and you refuse to let him feel like heâs won you like a prize. Youâre standing up for yourself; if he can shit-talk Daniel, you can shit-talk Miss Melons.
Your skin prickles with annoyance the more you think about the woman that had approached you both- seriously, did she not consider that she was being intrusive and rude? You assume Jake has snagged her away from her roommate by now, and theyâre probably having a better time than you are.Â
Everything feels unfair, down to the coincidental roommate placement. Itâs like the universe had heard you needed a break, and wanted to punish you for it.
Cracking open your book helps, but it takes you a while to get into the groove. Youâre sitting poolside across from the pizza place, eyes glancing from page to parlor every once in a while to check for a certain bearded man. The main lead is compelling, and your stomach soars as you imagine Daniel in a cowboy hat. Youâd save that horse.
Peace is hard to find while sitting poolside on a cruise, but chaos is actually the perfect white noise for you to read, and your concentration isnât broken until a shadow falls over your lounge chair. You glance up, but itâs not the man youâd wanted to see.
âHey.â Jakeâs already frowning, his face apprehensive like he thinks youâll scream at him to get away. You want to, but you donât want to cause a scene.
âWhat, Hangman?â
âIâm not trying to control you.â He pushes despite seeing your gaze back on your book, âI just donât think youâre meant to be with Daniel. But I shouldnât have given you a hassle for doing the same thing to me. I just⌠I do it because-â
He stops short, glancing sideways at a man running despite the clear no running sign on the lifeguard tower. You decide to help him in his moment of need.
âBecause youâre used to women who let you walk all over them. Even if youâre not trying to control me, youâre used to having that control. Itâs familiar for you, so you expect it, even if you donât know youâre doing it. But Iâm not like that. You canât keep me waiting on you.â
The scoff he lets out is accompanied by an expression that looks truly pained, âThat ainât it at all. But forget it. Donât worry about why I do it. I just thought maybe you were doinâ it to me for the same reasons. But never mind. Iâll shut up about Daniel. Truce?â
You glare up at him, book still open in your lap. He extends an uncharacteristically helping hand, and you wait a truly uncomfortable amount of time before taking it and shaking once.
âTruce.â
He takes the chair beside you, stretched out in the sun. Unfortunately, it seems like your reading time is over as his head turns to you, âSo, Dudley showed up yet?â
âHeâs coming for lunch.â You cling to your novel, trying desperately to ignore Jake and his instantly broken promise, âWhat about Melon girl, they werenât ripe enough for you?â
âShe wasnât my type.â He starts, and thereâs a heavy silence before he continues, âI donât like a woman who thinks itâs fun to get between a couple.â
The sideways glance you send Hangman, the âI-told-you-soâ smirk, is lethal.
âAnyways.â He continues, tone more casual now, âFancy a swim, darlinâ?â
âIâll read instead,â You offer, âBut you have fun, Hangman.â
âParty Pooper,â He accuses, standing from the lounge chair heâs occupying and stretching briefly, âYouâre an absolute mood-killer. No fun, the most boring person on this boat.â
âIâm about to be more of one: have you put sunscreen on?â
âNope,â He grins, âYou volunteering to do the honors, you sleazy thing?â
âAbsolutely not. But you can use the stuff in my bag.â You nod at your tote bag, âDonât use it all, though.â
âYes, maâam.â Jake nods, folding into a seat on the edge of the lounge chair beside yours, âSo, whatâs going on in that book, they boning yet?â
âMhm.â You nod absently as Jake begins smearing sunscreen over his arms and legs, âReal sexy stuff.â
âIâve got somethinâ sexier for you.â
âItâs a porn book, Hangman,â You clarify, in case heâs forgotten, âIâm trying to read porn. Leave me alone.â
âThereâs porn right here!â He calls, arms out to show off his impressively tanned and toned chest, a thick layer of sunscreen giving it a sheen that glistens in the light. As reluctant as you are to admire anything about Jake, you canât lie; he has a body worth ogling. But you will not ogle it.
âThis pornâs better,â You hum, glancing up at Jake through your lashes, deceptively inviting, âThis guyâs got a cowboy hat on.â
âIâve got a million and one cowboy hats,â Jake insists, slowly inching towards you and away from the edge of the pool, âIs that really all it takes, darlinâ? âCause I can slap one on in seconds, if thatâs what youâre after. âEven brought one with me in case my roommate was into it.â
âMm, maybe,â You let him get closer, excitement clearly swirling in his eyes as he advances towards your chair. He doesnât notice the shifting of your feet until itâs too late and one is shoving firmly against his chest, knocking him off balance and sending him tumbling backwards into the pool.
Thereâs not anyone in his immediate vicinity besides you, so you take the brunt of the splash, but itâs worth it.
âBut I like it better when the hatâs on a real gentleman!â You call, laughter interrupting your words as Jake emerges from the pool well and truly soaked, shaking water out of his hair. Heâs been thoroughly underwater trained, so heâd been able to catch his breath in time despite the surprise of it all, and thereâs no real harm done besides the initial splash.
âYou dirty rotten minx,â He calls, water dripping from his short hair into his eyes, âYou lured me in with the promise of cowboy hat sex just to push me in the pool?â
âI canât believe you fell for it!â Youâre still laughing, but maybe this bout of giggles is only to annoy him, âThatâs, like, the oldest trick in the book. Well, maybe besides the cowboy hat sex thing. But you shouldnât have gotten so close!â
He braces his elbows on the wall of the pool, the border surely burning his skin. But he stares at you regardless, âI thought you were finally givinâ in.â
âItâd take a lot more than a cowboy hat to make me give in, Jake.â You laugh, turning back to your book, âLike, a full personality transplant.â
Jake hears Danicaâs words repeated back to him in his head, âShow, donât tellâ.
âNoted. Iâll look into oneâuh those,â He quips, smile sarcastic and empty as he resorts to swimming alone, âHey, when youâre done with that chapter, you should join me.â
âNo.â
âAlright.â
You glance away from the bookâs pages at Hangmanâs unusual, immediate acceptance of your refusal. But he lifts himself out of the water- no stairs, no ladder, only his forearms against the deck, and your stomach sinks as you realize he might be playing a game of wills with you.
Instead, he sits beside you again, this time facing away from you, âWill you rub some sunscreen on my back?â
You want to say no. You would, if he were only asking to feel your hands on him. And maybe thatâs part of it, but you also know that as much as he tans, he could burn, and his back is the only part of himself that he canât reach. Youâd want someone to do you the solid too, so you sigh and set your book aside.
âFine. But you owe me.â
âMhm.â He nods, passing you the sunscreen, âIâll rub it wherever you want, Y/N.â
You whack him upside the head with the bottle, and when he hisses in pain and pitches forwards, you squirt some of the lotion onto your palm and begin applying it to the broad, tanned, muscled expanse of his back.
Youâre no masseuse, but apparently youâre rubbing all the right places, because Jake lets out grunts and groans that are borderline pornographic. If they were coming from anyone else, you might have squirmed in your seat, but each one sends your eyes rolling skywards as you cover Jakeâs skin in goopy sun lotion.
âDamn, youâre good.â Jake grunts as you dig into a knot beneath his shoulder blade, âDo that again?â
âIâm putting sunscreen on you, Jake, not working out muscle tension.â
âOh, come on, just a little more?â He pleads, turning so that he can glance at you from the side of his gaze, eyes shining in prayer.
You dig extra hard into his muscle, and you take some sort of wicked pleasure in the way that his resulting groan is more of a pained yelp than something of enjoyment.Â
âThere, Hangman.â You whack the middle of his back, between his shoulder blades, âYouâre all oiled up.â
âArenât you glad you were the one to get to do it?â Jake grins blindingly, and you bury your nose in your book again to avoid answering his question.
âOh, you can stick your face in that book all you want,â Jake drawls, and you hear the displacement of the water he steps in as he lowers himself into the pool, gracefully and by choice this time, âBut I know you liked having your hands all over me, darlinâ.â
You want to gripe something back- something witty and cutting that will tear him down where he stands, but heâs turned away from you, already submerging himself to begin swimming laps. You admire his dedication to exercise even while on vacation- you have no plans to visit the gym in the lower decks.
Jake sees the diving board just as you do, and you keep him in your peripheral vision as he climbs out of the pool to make his way up the ladder. Your novel is begging to be read, but your eyes stick firm on one fitting word- âabdomenâ so that you can watch Jake from the corner of your eye as he prepares to dive.
Fortunately, you donât need to continue the ruse of reading because Jake bellows from across the deck, âY/N, look!â
Youâre met with a grin when you look up at him, his arms raised above his head and joined flush together in diving position, âIâm gonna dive- watch me.â
âIâm watching.â You call, injecting your voice with as much disinterest as you can manage without feeling guilty, âThis feels like babysitting, Hangman.â
He dives instead of quipping back, and itâs an impressive one, not that youâll sing his praises for it. He comes up on the side of the pool closest to you, arms flinging an arc of water onto the concrete before you.
âWas it good?â He asks, panting slightly, hanging onto the wall.
âYes,â You reply, a sickly sweet smile on your face as you condescend to him, âYou did so good, honey.â
âShut up,â He sends a wave of water splashing over your sandals, and you canât be mad at him after all the teasing youâve been inflicting upon him.
âIâve been workinâ on my diving,â He goes back to swimming around, this time more casual as he keeps his head above the water to speak with you, âMy nieces back home are learninâ to swim so Iâve been in the pool a lot lately. Anytime they drag me in there I dive in and splash them.â
His arms cut through the water with strength and ease, confident strokes as you mull over his words. The image of Jake urging a toddler in floaties to cross a 3-foot gap into his arms is- endearing, not that youâll admit it. You hum in acknowledgement, and tuck back into your book.
Thereâs not many people in the pool this early- most are probably still in bed with a hangover and a mess to clean up - and itâs large to boot, so thereâs plenty of room. Your eyes drift left and catch sight of a jacuzzi, and suddenly your beach chair seems to pale in comparison.
Okay, you wonât join Jake in the pool, but youâll relax for a couple of minutes in the jacuzzi. Just until Daniel gets here.
Jake doesnât notice that youâve stood until your chair is empty, and you have a perfect view of him floundering, scanning the entire deck until he spots you half-submerged in the hot tub.
You get to laugh at him again, and he grants you a good-natured grin instead of getting annoyed.
âI thought youâd finally found whatâs-his-name,â Jake swims over to the separation wall that keeps the hot water parted from the cold, âMind if I join you, Y/N?â
âOnly if youâre- careful!â You shriek, trying desperately to protect the pages of your book from his sopping wet skin as he scales the barrier, âHangman, if this book gets wet, youâre replacing it for me.â
âAlright, alright! Iâll take you on a shopping spree, relax. Hey, if Iâm buyinâ you porn books, doesnât that make me somethinâ like a sugar daddy?â
âYouâre not getting any sugar,â You shrug, âBut sure.â
âJust call me daddy, Y/N.â He grins, âThatâs all the sugar I need.â
You hide behind your book so that he canât see the way your face wrinkles into a grimace. The heat from the jacuzzi spreads inexplicably quick all of a sudden, warming your neck, your ears, your face, and Jake lets out a thick, heavy groan as he settles into the warm water.
âThis is nice.â He muses, eyes closed, âReal relaxing.â
âItâs less relaxing when someoneâs talking the whole time,â You peek across the side of your book, âShut up, maybe?â
Jake snorts, leaning his head back against the edge of the pool, âAlright, alright your majesty. Iâll stay silent.â
You donât verbally thank him, but you donât make a scene when his leg drifts across the jet currents of the jacuzzi to brush against yours.
You cover a good chunk of your novel before a voice calls your name, and this time itâs the two people youâd been hoping to see all morning. Danica waves giddily at you and Jake, whoâs picked his head up from where you thought heâd fallen asleep and is already mad-dogging Daniel. You wave back to Danica, and cast a quick glance down at your bathing suit before standing to greet Daniel. Itâs just as tight and showy as you prefer it to be.Â
You pay no attention to Jake where he gets out behind you, too focused on Daniel to care. But perhaps you should have, because youâre two steps from meeting Daniel in the middle when Jakeâs strong arm shoves you sideways, and your book is wrenched from your grasp as you fall sideways into the pool.
Itâs cold, colder even because youâd been soaking in the hot tub. Youâre surprised, but you suppose you canât even really be mad at him considering itâs just payback for what heâd done to you.
Youâve barely righted yourself in the water before thereâs another splash beside you, and when you finally emerge thereâs hands reaching for your waist, Danielâs as you realize heâd jumped in to help you.Â
âYou-!â You splutter at Jake with bleary, chlorine-soaked eyes, attention split between Daniel whoâs trying to ensure youâre alright, and Jake whoâs snickering while holding your book in his thankfully dry hand.
âYou asshole.â Daniel finishes for you, âShe could have drowned!â
âI know how to swim,â You brace a hand on Danielâs chest- startlingly bare, but riddled with coarse, brown hair, âItâs fine, I- I pushed him in earlier.â
âRelax, Prince Charming. Itâs just a bit of payback. And look,â Jake waves your novel in front of you, âDry as a bone.â
âWell I am- uh, not.â You stand half-submerged in the pool, Daniel still holding onto your waist, âSo, I guess I will go swimming.â
âGreat. You can swim with us.â Daniel smiles, warm and inviting as he keeps his hands on you.
âYeah, us.â Jake agrees, taking Danicaâs towel and spreading it over a sunny lounge chair for her.
Jake helps lower Danica gently into the pool, holding her hand while she takes the stairs, before jumping in beside you so that youâre splashed by the wave he creates.
âYou are an asshole,â You laugh, breaking away from Danielâs grip to shove at Jakeâs shoulder. The grins on your faces are bright and genuine, perhaps the first time youâve both been able to laugh with each other the entire trip. It feels nice, and you donât fight when he shoves back at you with strong arms.
âHey- hey!â Danica shouts, standing behind Daniel with a hand on his shoulder, âWhy donât you turn that pushing and shoving into a game of chicken?â
âIâm down,â Daniel seems thrilled to be opposite Jake as he lowers himself for Danica to climb atop his shoulders, âY/N, you okay on his shoulders?â
Jake does the honors himself, dunking himself under the water and coming up between your legs. You barely have time to plant your hands on the top of his head, fingers twisting instinctively into his hair as you accidentally tug it while he stands at his full height again.
âShit, sorry Hangman.â You let go of his hair, hoping you hadnât yanked too hard. Heâs forgiven, for now, so you wonât resort to childish things like hair-pulling.
âThatâs okay, darlinâ.â He grins, craning his neck back to meet your eye, âI like it when you tug on my hair.â
You have to overlook Jakeâs suggestive comment as Danicaâs already reaching for you, and you eagerly engage in a shoving match while the two men beneath you plant themselves into the bottom of the pool. You manage to get a leg up on Danica, and theyâre both pushed backwards by the force of your shove, but Daniel surges forwards and ends up knocking you and his roommate right into each other.
You collapse against Danica, forehead-to-forehead, giggling like little girls. Her eyes are bright and shining with amusement, and her breath smells minty- like gum, not toothpaste. Youâre more than happy to begin pushing at each other again, and though youâre confident your navy-built muscles are going to prevail, she lands a critical shove against your shoulder that throws you off-balance and sends you toppling off of Jakeâs shoulders.
The water is cold, colder than you remember as you splash into it, and when you come up for air, already laughing, Jakeâs facing you, having turned when youâd fallen from his shoulders. Heâs grinning too, a hand already outstretched to help you up, but upon seeing you stand his eyes widen and his face drops.
âShit.â He lunges for you, cutting through the water as his arm wraps around your back to yank you tight against his chest. You protest, grunting with exertion as you try fighting against his grip. But his muscles are impressive, and youâre trapped against his chest despite your best efforts.
âWould you cut it out? Iâm trying to help you. Your top came untied.â
âWhat?â You splutter, water trailing down your face as you quell your instinctive struggle against his crushing hold. You realize that the reason for the extreme cold had, in fact, been because your bikini top had abandoned ship, and you barely have time to process the feeling of your bare tits slammed up against Jakeâs hard, toned chest before heâs fishing the bathing suit out of the water and feeding it around your waist.
âUp,â He instructs, lifting his eyes to the expansive blue sky above you so that you can separate yourself from his chest for long enough to cover your own again. Itâs- a strange gesture of courtesy that you would have expected from Daniel, sure, but not Jake. Perhaps thatâs why youâre so sluggish, why it takes you longer than expected to fit your top back over your tits and grapple with the strings.
âYou decent?â Jake asks, and when you grunt in confirmation he drops his eyes again. He notices you struggling with the ties and reaches for them himself, gently swatting your fingers away as he uses his advantage of sight. It presses his muscular shoulder up against your face, and you turn so that your cheek rests against it instead of your nose. Suddenly youâre held against his chest like a slow dance, and something terribly and inexplicably squirmy happens in your stomach.
âDone. I double knotted it.â He hums, and itâs such a sincere tone, one thatâs completely vacant of all his usual dickishness, that you lose yourself staring at his face when he pulls away. You begin examining it for any sign that perhaps he was murdered and replaced with a poorly-trained doppelganger.
His hair looks right, albeit sopping wet. His eyebrows are growing slightly bushier than usual, but nothing youâd consider a complete and total imposter. His nose is still the same: strong, slightly downturned (though not as far as Roosterâs), and thereâs a tiny patch of sunscreen that hasnât been rubbed in near his right eye. His mouth is set in a determined purse as he double knots the strings of your bikini top together, and his eyes- his eyes are different.
Miles different than youâve ever seen them. The outside edge of his hazel-green rings is softened, like someone has blurred their usual sharp border and lined it with suede. His pupils are huge, and theyâd be eclipsing his irises if those werenât so big and puppy-like. He is, in every sense of the word, gentle, inside and out.Â
Jake has never been gentle before.Â
âYou alright?â He asks, and you snap back to reality with his large hands spread over the expanse of your bare back, the eyes that youâd been examining firmly and concernedly fixed upon you. Only a few meager strings separate his skin from yours, and you nod once, steadily as you gently push his arms off of you.
âLetâs go again,â You call to Danica and Daniel, your voice a piss-poor attempt at strength and nonchalance as it lacks its usual life, âGood hit, Danica. But watch out, Iâm gonna kick your ass.â
âBring it,â She grins gleefully, and her giddy gaze drifts downwards to Jakeâs face when he lifts you onto his shoulders yet again. From the looks of it they share some sort of silent conversation- some inside joke that youâre not privy to.Â
Something about that, something about her excluding you from a conversation with your own teammate makes you shove her, not enough to knock her off of Danielâs shoulders, but enough to show her that youâre not going easy on her. She shrieks giddily as she writhes to stay balanced on Danielâs shoulders, a smidge less broad than Jakeâs. Youâre thankful for that, for the steady mount youâve got, as you resume pushing and shoving at Danica.
Jake is going insane. Not only does the phantom sensation of your bare tits- nipples hard from the chilly pool water - stick to him like a wet t-shirt, he can feel you against the back of his neck, your warm sex nestled snugly against him with only the bottom half of your bikini to separate you. Your thighs bracket his head, close enough for him to reach out and bite at, but he has to focus on keeping his stance sturdy so that you can play properly. Danielâs glaring viciously at him across the few feet that separates the four of you, and heâs not going to let Mr. Mailman win.Â
This time, Jake suspects youâve used that military muscle of yours, because Danica slips backwards off of Danielâs dewy shoulders and splashes into the pool. Your hand cups beneath Jakeâs chin, tilting his head upwards and leaning it back into your lap.
âNice one,â He grins upside-down at you, and you bump your fist against his when he offers it. Then youâre craning your neck down, surely uncomfortable as you leave mere inches between your lips and his, and his ears are ringing.
âBack up,â You murmur, disguising it as a congratulatory speech while Daniel helps Danica back onto his shoulders, âGet them to chase us and weâll use the momentum against them.â
âDarlinâ,â Jake proclaims, pride puffing up his chest that your legs are resting against, âYouâre my kinda woman. Always looking to win.â
âJust do it, Hangman,â You scoff, but your eye-roll is less than irritated, fond if anything due to your partnership as Jake drops his head to face Daniel and Danica once more.
Jake stands in place where heâd been before, but when Danica engages with you he begins backing up. Slowly, carefully, ensuring that his feet are planted steadily each step so that youâre not tipped over, he makes his way towards the drop off towards the deeper end of the water. Daniel follows, taking the bait, and soon enough his predicament becomes obvious: heâs not as tall as Jake.
He stands somewhere close to six feet, surely, but not past it like Jake does. Your partnerâs head is still comfortably above water, smirk in full force as Danielâs beard becomes waterlogged.Â
âThatâs not fair!â Danica laughs, petting sympathetically at Danielâs sopping wet hair, âPoor guy, weâll get you stilts for the next round.â
Daniel lands a teasing pinch against the curve of her ass and she shrieks. You lunge for her, using her momentary shock to catch her off guard as you send her tumbling backwards into the water behind Daniel.Â
You donât have time to celebrate before Jake is ducking down and slipping himself out from beneath you, his strong arms bracing your fall so that you barely sink a few feet into the water. He crushes you in a celebratory hug, his laughter harmonizing with your own. He turns you both to face Daniel and Danica as they splutter to catch their breath, his cheek pressed flush against your own.Â
âChicken Champions,â He declares, holding you tight to his side at his own height, which means your feet float above his own in the water, âIâd offer to go again, but thatâd just be cruel. You ladies wanna chatter in the hot tub while Danny-Boy and I show off on the diving board?â
âI brought a book,â Danica hums, face dripping with water you feel only mildly guilty for submerging her in, âIf you wanna read, Y/N, Iâll do it with you.â
âPerfect.â Daniel nods, already cutting through the water on his way to the diving board, âIâll be careful not to splash you guys.â
âI wonât.â Jake supplies helpfully, his grin turned shit-eating as he eyes you up, âNo point in reading one of them smutty porn books if youâre not soaking wet.â
âSplash me and Iâll throw your room key off the side of the boat, Hangman,â You promise, âYouâll be begging strangers to take pity on you in the elevator.â
âNah, thatâs not my style,â Jakeâs voice is dripping with intent while Daniel takes position on the diving board, his swim trunks dripping steady trails of water. You donât know why until he continues, taking his own bait, âIâll leave that to Daniel.â
You blame Jakeâs comment for why Danielâs dive nearly turns into a belly flop. Itâs instantaneous, really, Danielâs changing of posture as he registerâs Jakeâs biting words, and you have half a mind to admonish Jake for riling Daniel up during a dive- that could have ended badly. As it stands, Daniel does a sort of cannonball, though not intentionally, and you and Danica cringe in unison when he lands, sending water splashing well over the divider into the hot tub. Your book remains mostly unscathed- only a droplet of water lands on the cover and obscures the male leadâs face, blurring out his beard and making him appear clean-shaven.Â
Jake is already scaling the ladder, and when he gets to the top he surveys Daniel emerging from the water.
âSix,â He shrugs, sneering down at Daniel from the highest point on the deck, ââCouldâve clinched a seven if you hadnât splashed the ladies, but your form was still shit.â
He doesnât give Daniel a chance to fire back- or maybe the man is just too smart to take Jakeâs bait - before he sets his arms together above his head, and seamlessly, impeccably cuts through the water. For someone so muscular and bulky, his form is graceful- not that youâll ever tell him that. Water arcs outwards from where heâd landed, one half of the splash practically targeting Daniel where he stands watching.
He swims farther, nearly reaching the other end of the pool before he emerges, shaking water from his hair like a dog as he looks intently at you and Danica in the hot tub for a rating.
âTen!â Your reading companion shouts, blessedly unaware of the tense atmosphere- or again, too intelligent to fall for Jakeâs lowly antics- and you look at the water-stained cover of your novel.
You smear away the water droplet with your dry thumb, and the male main characterâs beard returns.
âFour.â You call, voice deadpan as you lock your eyes on your novel, âFor playing dirty and sabotaging the other contestants.â
Hangmanâs grin is open-mouthed and cemented into place as he stands taller than Daniel in the water, tanned skin standing starkly out from the blue of the chlorinated water, âDirtyâs the best way to play, darlinâ.â
Danica shoots you a look from behind the spread of her novel that youâve sent many-a-girlfriend before. Itâs the wide-eyed, restrained smile that screams âWeâre talking about this laterâ, and you mirror her expression with your own disdain.
âLeave us alone,â You call, grinning apologetically at Daniel so that he knows heâs only a bystander, âWe want to read.â
âLetâs leave the ladies to their smut, Dorian.â Jake calls, louder than he needs to be as he stretches to display his toned abdomen and muscled arms, âWe can find our own fun. Wanna see who can swim the fastest? Place your bets, ladies: pilot or mailman?â
âYou swam pretty slow when you crash-landed in the Pacific that one time,â You muse, fighting to keep a smirk off of your face, âI remember thinking you would die in the time it took for you to swim back to shore.â
âWouldnâtâve gone so slow if I wasnât hauling my RIO back to shore. He hit his head on the way down,â Jake dips his head towards Danica, happily regaling her with the tale, and you realize youâve only fluffed his ego more, âSo he was unconscious. Well I couldnât just leave him there, âpoor guy was only a trainee. So I took him along. It did slow me down, but,â He heaves a disgusting, gaudy, fake sigh, âIt was worth it to send him back home to his mama.â
You taste a hint of blood where youâve apparently chewed through your lip. You let it go and hope nothing escapes your mouth. It would be a shame to stain the pages of your novel red.
Youâre trying very hard not to pay attention to Jake and Danica where heâs engaged her in a staring contest. Well, you suppose itâs not much of a contest that she can win: the point is that youâre losing. Jakeâs showing off his impressive build, still running his mouth with every vaguely self-complementary anecdote he can embellish, and Danica is taking the bait, which means that your rampant attempts to cool Jakeâs ego have failed.Â
You let the warm, borderline-hot water sink into your skin and simmer alongside the building irritation that threatens to blow beneath the surface. Youâre tired. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation for you- or, if not relaxing, a good way to blow off steam. You were supposed to be bent in half up against the shower wall by now, not bending the pages of your book with the strong grip youâve cemented onto them while you mediate Jakeâs ego and the willingness of so many women to accommodate it.Â
Part of you wants to let loose and have fun- not with Jake, of course. Never with Jake. But part of you wants to act rationally, forget the constant rivalry between you two and let him shack up with whoever will show him her tits first. But the other part of you, the one that cheers every time he places second in a show of skill, wants to knock him down a peg. Itâs why youâre so persistently humbling him- or, trying to, at least. Something about him putting on this cocky persona- erasing all human emotion to make way for pure sleaze puts you on edge, and you pity the fool who believes it.
You canât tell if Danicaâs that fool yet, because sheâs turned back to her book with a smile, but to her credit she doesnât ogle him while heâs swimming. It would be easy to- heâs all tanned muscle and gestures that show off just the right curve or vein. He knows how to preen, but Danica seems to be minding her own business. That makes it easier for you to read your own novel; you donât feel like you have to keep an eye out for her anymore.
Youâre not sure whether itâs a love for the act or a wordless competition to outswim the other that keeps Jake and Daniel occupied with lapping the pool for so long, but as more and more people filter out of their rooms and onto the deck, thereâs not much room for recreation anymore.
âAre you done?â You ask Danica, peering over at her after someone unknowingly sends a wave of water straight for you both, narrowly avoiding soaking your novels.
âI think Iâm done.â She nods sheepishly, rushing to stand and keep her book dry, âShould we run away before the men notice weâre leaving?â
âExcellent plan,â You laugh, but you can practically feel Jakeâs eagle eye upon you as you race for your towel, leaving soaked footprints behind on the wooden deck, âWe should go get some pizza. Theyâre making more now that itâs a little busier out here.â
âYou shouldnât stare like that.â Danielâs irritatingly smooth voice, pitched up slightly from Jakeâs and entirely free of Jakeâs rugged charm, makes Jakeâs lips yearn to curl into a sneer.
Jake pivots in the cold pool water to face Daniel rather unimpressed, a scoff begging to burst from his lips, âLike what?â
âLike sheâs a piece of meat, or something.â Danielâs arms are crossed, and Jake plants his feet firmly against the concrete floor of the pool.
âOh, youâre so virtuous,â Jake drawls, his skin burning and not from the rays of sun hitting it directly, âYou frenched her in an elevator, Daniel, youâve got no room to be talking to me about class.â
âShe wanted me to kiss her. She kissed me.â Daniel insists, and Jake laughs- actually laughs, a grit of his teeth and a forceful exhalation of air, âThatâs different than staring at her ass while she runs away from you like youâd flip her skirt up at a drive-in movie theater.â
âFlipping skirts,â Jake laughs, sadistic grin in full force, âDaniel, Iâm not that old fashioned! Please, sheâs in a bathing suit that she chose, for a sex cruise that she booked, and you know what? She probably wants you to be staring at her ass in it. And you donât seem too concerned with the other people on the deck, Iâm sure a few of them are looking too. And are you worried Iâm looking at Danicaâs ass?â
âYouâre not looking at Danicaâs ass.â Daniel nearly bites his tongue in an effort to keep his voice level, âBecause youâre not interested in Danica. Youâre interested in Y/N and you canât have her. Sheâs not yours.â
âSheâs not yours, either.â Jake spits, and thereâs a moment of silence where both menâs chests heave with barely-suppressed tension. Jake realizes that heâs admitted to Daniel that he has no real claim over you, but the other man doesnât fight back against not having one of his own. But you are his, you are Jakeâs, in the way youâd fallen asleep in his arms last night, in the look in your eyes when youâd stared into his own earlier, in the stain on his pajama pants.
Youâd moaned his name- his name, not Danielâs.
Someone knocks into Daniel from behind, backing right into him and nudging him slightly off balance.
âOh!â The woman shrieks, âIâm sorry! I wasnât paying attention.â
âItâs fine.â He offers her a tight smile, heading for the ladder, âDonât worry about it.â
Jake hauls himself up out of the pool with nothing but his forearms, using his towel to dry his hair if only to show off the expanse of his chest to any who may be watching. He checks- youâre not.
âSo,â Danica leans forwards into your space at the pizza counter, eyes meaningfully wide, âTell me why heâs acting like this.â
âHe always acts like this.â You scoff, and when she levels you with an unimpressed glare, you insist, âNo, really! Heâs just- everything is a competition to him, everything. I met his mom once, and she told me that he used to have races at the dinner table to see who could finish their food first. He kept making himself sick but as long as heâd beat his brothers he didnât care. He always has to win, and right now, heâs competing for us.â
âNo, heâs competing for you.â Danica corrects you, âIs he winning?â
âHell no. Heâs- heâs not really competing for me, not meaningfully. He just wants to say he âgot meâ, you know? That would be major bragging rights on the tarmac. But thatâs exactly why I canât give in- I canât be known as the woman who slept with her fellow pilot! Then they wouldnât see my achievements anymore, just my mistakes.â
âI get that.â She nods, âBut how do you know heâs just gonna dump you?â
âIâve watched him dump the whole of San Diego,â You scoff, âThatâs what he does. He doesnât do love, heâs the kind of guy whoâs only ever interested in something quick and dirty.â
âEveryone does love.â Danica frowns, âSome people just start later in life than others. And I think heâs starting now. With you.â
âLove,â You laugh, and sure, itâs dramatic, but if it gets through to her, you donât care, âA man who loves me would not have tormented me for my entire career.â
She tilts her head thoughtfully, âI think he does. Even if he doesn't act the way you think he should, even if he doesn't act the way you would, I think he does love you. I think he just loves differently. I think he's new to it. What has he done to torment you?â
You huff, grateful for the opportunity to vent, âHe constantly tries one-upping me- again, he canât lose. He just- he pokes and prods and teases me like weâre on the playground or something, and itâs non-stop. Itâs not like heâs sweet most of the time and then thereâs a few bouts of light teasing, itâs- itâs constant, and I canât ever let my guard down, or Iâll lose.â
âSo youâre fighting to win, too.â Her eyes narrow slightly, âWhy?â
âBecause. I can't be second-best, and I canât be known as the woman who slept with her coworker. Iâm not doing that.â You repeat.
âOh," She laughs, "So you're both stubborn. You don't want to lose, either. But second-best is temporary, rankings come and go. And I understand your thing about not wanting to be known for sleeping with him, but even if you did sleep with him, the whole Navy doesnât have to know.â
âThey will, Hangman will brag. He always brags.â
âHe wonât- not if heâs in love with you, not if you want him to keep it private.â
âHeâs not in love with me-!â
âFour slices of Pepperoni, two cheese?â A large tray is placed between you and Danica at the counter youâre both leaning against, and it snaps the two of you out of your debate.
You turn to see one of the employees looking expectantly at you, and Danica stammers, âUh, three cheese.â
âSorry.â He smiles placatingly at her, scooping another slice onto the plate, âThree cheese.â
âThank you.â You take the pepperoni pizza, leaving Danica to collect the cheese. You feel bad for walking away, even if you know sheâs hot on your trail, but you feel frustratingly suffocated, like everyone is urging you to make the biggest mistake of your life and never considering why you simply canât. She doesnât know Jake, she hasnât spent the last decade with him as heâs blown his way through tourist after tourist, bragging all the while. And he doesnât understand what it would be like- even if he wasnât looking to win, even if he did just want to try casual sex for fun, youâd never be able to escape that reputation.Â
You feel like youâre going crazy, and you plop down between Jake and Daniel where they sit at opposite sides of a table, ready to stuff your face with pizza instead of dealing with any of it.
feedback is greatly appreciated! comment, reblog, talk in the tags, send me a message, tell me what you think!
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Bittersweet ! đ
mdni <3 youâre here pt 6
series masterlist đ
~ in which Ellie breaks up with you and you go a little crazy ~
ex! ellie williams x fem! reader , abby anderson x fem! reader
college au!
warnings: SMUT!!! angst, break up, cheating,cursing, toxic behavior, smut in future chapters, sexual themes<3 feminine and girly reader ,not proof read!!
taglist: pls comment if you want to be added! <3 @elliessweetheart @lonelyfooryouonly @vamp1reg1rrrl @autisticintr0vert @amsxdoll @addthespaghetti @hemmo01 @elliecoochieeater @to-the-stray-dogs @undercuver @teenagemoonharmony @velvetcakegirlie @kl1q @cirrusdoll @icedsimpsayo
âaww you and your little girlfriend got nicknames already?â
âwill you ever just shut the fuck up??â
Ellie scoffed, mocking the way Abby said the sweet nickname through the speaker of your phone as you ended the call to open up the door, revealing Abby in all her glory, golden locks falling over her broad shoulders, still a little damp from the shower she took right after practice. She was wearing casual grey sweats and an obnoxious black prada tank top the shiny silver triangle on her chest caught your eye instantly, it fit her in all the right places, hugging her toned physique like a glove..fuck youâre drooling⌠you didnât catch her Ocean eyes checking you out as well..shamelessly ignoring Ellie right beside you, taking in your deliciously smooth legs in those cute little shorts, you left little to no imagination in the victoriaâs secret shirt you only buttoned right in the middle..you knew what you were doing..you had to
âmissed me, sweetheart? hope Williams over there didnât harass you too muchâ
she enjoyed the way Ellieâs face lit up in anger,blood rushed into her cheeks feeling threatened by Abby, she wanted to punch that disgusting grin out of her stupid face as she stepped into your apartment as if she owned it and pressed her lips on yours, giving you a sweet kiss, touching your waist where she did just a few minutes prior..still mad at herself for not catching you in your weakest moment..she thinks she might throw up if she has to see this any longer..the loss love of her life making out with her sworn enemy right in front of her definitely wasnât on her 2024 bingo list.. maybe that was her karma for treating you like a worthless piece of garbage..
âiâll kick her out just give me a second-â
you broke away from Abbyâs kiss, not wanting to go any further before Ellie left entirely..but Abbyâs eyes darkened..she seemed to have something else in mindâŚ
âwanna show her who fucks you better?â
your eyes sparkled as you nodded eagerly
âfuck yesâ
Ellieâs eyes widened as you walked up to her after whispering with Abby, she didnât really give a fuck about what you were talking about until you grabbed her hands and forcefully dragged her into your once shared bedroom, pushing her into an armchair right in front of your bed without any time to react.
âbe a good girl and stay put yeah? donât fucking move..just keep your eyes on meâ
you whispered in her ear as you unbuttoned your shirt in front of her, discarding all your clothes on the ground of your bedroom floor painfully slow until you were completely bare..Abby was doing the same in the background..goosebumps spread all over her body as the scene unfolded in front of her. Abbyâs lips found yours again, she pushed you into the mattress positioning herself between your legs her rough hands traveled to your dripping pussy, she felt your clit pulsating on her fingertips
âfuck baby..youâre so wet for me wanna fuck you so badâ
she dipped two fingers inside your gaping hole..you hissed at the stretch of her thick fingers but you didnât care for the pain you needed more..little whines escaped your lips as she began to hit your sweet spot with every move your eyes rolled behind your skull as you felt the familiar sensation of your orgasm building up only to be let down by her pulling her fingers out without a warning
âf-fuck you abby!â
slap!
you gasped as her palm collided with your cheek, the sting lingered on the reddened flesh of your pretty face..tears dared to spill out of the corners of your glossy eyes as she grabbed your jaw and forced your mouth open with her thumb spitting on your tongue.
âdonât get bratty on me now,dollâ
you swore you couldâve released an orgasm right there and then as you swallowed her hot saliva heavy mascara stained tears ran down your cheeks..Abbyâs hand still firm on your jaw. Fuck you looked so fucked out already Ellie thought hypnotized by the way you whined and begged for Abby fuck she wished it was her you were screaming for instead..jealousy and anger built up inside her chest.
âm sorry Abby please fuck me please! need your cock so bad-!â
Abby couldnât wait any longer, she forced your face down the fluffy sheets and lifted your ass up, mufflig your pathetic sounds,bending you the way she pleased..manhandling you like a rag doll. She took her time with strapping up, making you grow more impatient you felt like you were going to die if she didnât fuck you now. You felt her heavy tip tease between your ass..sliding it up and down switching between your asshole and pussy lips as you were about to beg her to fuck you already she entered your sweet cunt..slamming her entire length inside cursing to herself as you arched your back and moved your hips to match her rhythm.
âohmygod!! yesyesyes-! just like that donât stop-â
you screamed even louder when she grabbed a handful of your hair, forcing you to look in Ellieâs direction as she fucked your brains out from behind..high on the delicious stretch of her thick length kissing your g spot over and over againâŚyou chanted Abbyâs name like it was the only thing you knew as you locked eyes with Ellie as if you were talking to her..âabby!- fuck youâre so good baby âm close-âyou noticed her fighting with herself she wanted to hate this she really did but she couldnât help it fuck she loved the way you sound..your pornographic moans were music to her ears, the way your ass bounced every time you met abbyâs hips with obnoxiously loud and wet slapping noises had her mind spinning god you were such a desperate slut getting off on showing Ellie what sheâs missing..and it turned her on so bad
âbe a good slut and tell Ellie whoâs better yeah? keep your eyes on her as you cumâ
Abbyâs demanding tone went right into your pussy, getting wetter every second, creaming on abbyâs cock..fuck you were dripping on your sheets.
âyes-! only you can fuck me like this abby! best iâve ever had oh-!â
your breath hitched as the sweet wave of release hit you, vision blurry but your eyes always trained on Ellieâs as you came down from the high of your orgasm. You whined as Abby pulled out slowly, missing being full of her already. She caressed your cheek and gave you a sweet kiss âsorry for being so rough,baby iâll make it up to youâ you wondered how she can fuck your brains out and then be the softest person ever like nothing happened. âdonât worry abs..loved it so muchâ you smiled as you captured her pretty lips again god you couldnât get enough of her..
The way you acted like Ellie wasnât still there was so infuriating, she wanted to make a scene and scream at you but abby would absolutely beat her to death if she did so she bit her tongue..she silently got up from her comfortable position on your arm chair and got ready to leave..cringing at the wetness between her legs. what the fuck did just happen? She thought as she threw on one of Joelâs old jackets, secretly hoping that youâd hit her up to join you some time..
âEllie waitâ
you called out for her as she was about to go through your door..have you changed your mind already? Yeah you probably did she thought.. she didnât blame you though..you just canât resist her can you?
âtake your shit before you leave bye!!â
you shoved the cardboard box into her chest and pushed her out of the doorframe closing it in her face. damnâŚshe couldnât help but smile at the way you treated her..she liked you getting revenge on her, she liked that you were mean to her..it made her want you even more, no she needed you so fucking bad..you were the only thing running through her head right now..she didnât even notice how her girlfriend had called her various times..texting her that she will be going to sleep because she felt sick..asking if she could stop by some pharmacy to get medicine to treat her nausea..but Ellie really didnât give a fuck right now..sheâll take care of it tomorrow..now she needed to take care of something else..she got comfortable on Dinaâs couch and rubbed herself on the thought of you..
fuck she cursed to herself..only you could make her cum like that
đŤ
Abby helped you change your bedsheets after several rounds..you needed to return the favor thatâs the least you could do!..images of her pussy grinding on yours never leaving your mind..she made you feel so good how have you ever lived without her?
âwhatâs on your mind, babe?â
Abby asked, sneaking her arms around your waist hugging you from behind as she left small kisses on your neck. You wished you could stay like this forever..but you needed to get this out of your chest so you turned around, facing her now.
âI like you Abby..I love fucking with you but i want you to take me on dates. I want something real with you..i want everything of you..even though sex alone is really fucking goodâ
you joked at the end, brushing off the sudden nervousness that washed over you..Abby always had this effect on you she made you feel shy as if you were a school girl talking to her crush for the first time god youâre embarrassing get it together. Abbyâs eyes softened as she grabbed your hands..they were so small compared to hers.. she kissed your wrists and took in the sweet scent of your perfume, pulling you into a warm embrace, leaving a tooth rotting sugary kiss on your forehead.
âyouâre so precious,angel..iâll give you all of me yeah? i promise to treat you like the princess you are..wanna be yours whenever youâre readyâ
yeah..you could definitely get used to thisâŚ
đ
to be continued!
#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#ellie williams#abby anderson smut#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x reader#lesbian#tlou smut#ellie williams smut#wlw#abby anderson x female reader#ellie williams fic#ellie angst#ellie x dina#abby angst#abby the last of us#ellie the last of us#the last of us#wlw smut#eventual smut
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the boy is mine | k.mg
pet play w mingyu
pairing: kim mingyu x reader, readerâs best friend is yuqi! ((g)i-dle) also cheol lol
wc: 5597 (can you believe i cut it down?)
genre: strangers -> fucking, smut, little cracky at some parts
synopsis: when one of your best friends (who also happens to be a frat bro), seungcheol, invites you to his halloween party, you hesitantly accept. you were never really the party type⌠but one guy, one of his new friends to be exact, might single handedly change that.
!other kinktober fics!
a/n: ......heyyyyy... no one hate me. i know im almost a whole month late ): prepping for the svt concert took more time than i anticipated, i live in america so... yeah all that happened, work got in the way, i had a lot of yap days with my wife @jenoslutie which has been so nice!! <3 and i JUST (literally today) got back from visiting my bestie @goblynnrockz for their birthday :p BUT in between all that, i managed to finish this bitch. (pun intended) ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, i really hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. and if it seems like its eluding to there being a potential relationship between mc and gyu, well... maybe there will be in the future ;p
(P.S. you must picture long, wavy haired mingyu in this :3 more like the pic on the right. i just put the lolla pic bc it fits the vibe you CANNOT argue w that lol okay imma stop yapping now. ENJOY LUVLIES!!!!)
you werenât the party type, but when one of your best friends, seungcheol, invited you to his fratâs halloween party with a nearly quivering bottom lip, you couldnât say no.
âyou have to let me bring whoever i want as my plus one.â you deadpanned while crossing your arms.Â
âso youâll go?!â he nearly squealed.Â
you sighed before nodding with an annoyed, âyes.â
âfuck yeah!â he yelled before swooping you up in a big hug. you couldnât help the laughter that erupted from your chest.Â
you loved when cheol got all giddy. it was such a silly contrast to his wide, strong build, and thatâs always been so enduring yet hilarious to you. you didnât think anyone else like him existed in real life.Â
until you met him.Â
âremind me again why you are dragging me to a party?â your best friend, yuqi, chuckled out from the passengerâs seat of your car.Â
you took the last right before reaching the house. âcheol asked nicely and⌠iâve been needing an excuse to wear these boots,â you smiled, looking for a parking spot.
yuqi silently pointed to a spot on the street, and as you parked, she went on. âi just canât help but wonder why cheol wanted you to go so bad like⌠he knows youâre not a partier.â
âhe wants me to get out of my shell more.â you shrugged, getting out of the car.Â
âwell youâre definitely out of your shell, fucking look at you. a full latex outfit and tits out? girlâŚâ yuqi gawked at you for a moment.
dressing as blackcat was far out of your costume comfort zone. normally you went the horror route. billy the puppet, jennifer check (in the prom dress with the contacts, blood and all), freddy krueger, etc. so, wearing a latex set that left nothing to the imagination except for any ink you may have on your skin was out of character, but you wanted to spice it up this year.
âi think the little mask helps be feel a bit hidden,â you giggled seen as itâs a thin black eye mask, not hiding who is under it at all. yuqi jokingly scoffed and you then took the attention off yourself. âlook at you, catwoman. you look devious with that whip,â you cooed, then took her hand in yours and gave her a spin on the sidewalk.
âoh stop it,â she blushed. âletâs get inside before it starts getting too crazy.â
you two walked in practically attached at the hip. you scanned the front room for cheol, yuqi doing the same. âah! there he is,â she pointed toward the kitchen.
you looked over, immediately making eye contact with him. he waved you guys over to stand with him and some frat bro you didnât recognize.Â
ây/n!â he greeted you with a bear hug, unfazed by your tits practically spilling from your top. âand yuqi! hey long time no see!â he said sweetly, giving her a side hug.
âhi! itâs good to see you, cheol,â she giggled.Â
âare you gonna introduce us?â you motioned to his friend beside him and smiled.Â
the friend smiled and reached a hand out, âhey, iâm chan! nice to meet you both.â after shaking both of your hands, a warm smile across his face, he turned around to finish concocting a drink for himself.Â
âyou know we have a spare room. if you guys want, you can have some drinks! chan makes a mean lemon drop.â cheol offered you both.Â
yuqi got a devilish smile on her face, âdonât mind if i do, fred. one lemon drop, please, daphne!â she giggled leaning backwards on the counter next to chan, watching what he was doing over her shoulder. she faced forward after a moment and motioned her head toward you. âwhat about you miss latex?â she smirked giving you a once over. the girl wasnât even drinking yet and she was already getting flirty. typical. (<3)
âdonât even let her answer that,â seungcheol quickly intervened. âmake blackcat a drink, please. the pretty lady deserves it,â he grinned, wrapping an arm around you.Â
âwell thank you, cheolie⌠but deserve it? for what?â you asked cutely, looking up at him.Â
âputting up with my bitchass. thank you for coming tonight. iâm glad you did,â he stated sweetly, giving you a kiss atop your head. you just leaned into him, silently telling him âyouâre welcomeâ and âme tooâ.Â
âwhatâs up?â you look over at chan whoâs finishing your drink up, and heâs got his phone between his ear and shoulder. âoh shit okay! weâll be right out!â he hung up, sliding the phone in his pocket, then turned around handing you your drink. âpretty lady,â he smiled. âcheol lets go. that was vernon, theyâre outside.â he said, patting cheol on the shoulder, making his way out of the kitchen hurriedly.Â
âokay! you two wait right here, iâll be back.â seungcheol requested, then ran after chan.Â
âoh god,â you walked forward to the counter and turned so your back was leaning on it with yuqi. you two looked out from the kitchen, into the crowd of people that had seemingly gotten significantly larger since youâd arrived minutes ago. âtheyâve all gotta be members of the mystery inc huhâŚâ you trailed off.
âi wonder what poor guy they got to be scooby,â yuqi empathized.Â
âi bet itâs soonyoung.â
âbe so fucking for real, y/n. heâs a fucking tiger every year,â yuqi said pointedly. she was right.Â
just then, the room got significantly more quiet meaning- oh those boys and their group entrancesâŚ
it was never anything elaborate, but they did have to make their presence known. cheol almost always walking in first as the rest of the boys followed.Â
you and yuqi made your way out of the kitchen to the living room, disregarding cheolâs words from earlier. you two managed to push toward the front of the swarm of people that were gathered near the door. shouts then could be heard from all over, praising the commitment of all the boys. first was cheol as fred, then chan as daphne walking alongside wonwoo as velma, and last but not least vernon as shaggy with⌠not soonyoung as scooby. âwho the fuck is that?â you nearly drooled leaning over into yuqiâs ear.Â
âwonwoo?â she suggested.Â
âno, dumbass, obviously i know wonwoo⌠whoâs scooby?â your voice dropping a cool octave or two in curiosity.Â
âi donât know but⌠fuck is he fine,â she said bluntly.Â
you both had your eyes locked on him until yuqiâs gaze redirected to wonwoo⌠her main interest right now and always. âif youâll excuse me,â she hummed, grazing a hand across your shoulder and handing you her whip as she strolled forward toward the tall boy wearing thicker framed glasses than normal.
you made your way back to the kitchen to wait for one of your friends to come back, knowing one of them would find their way to you.Â
or so you thought.Â
someone did definitely make their way to you, but it wasnât cheol, yuqi, or even chan.Â
âi didnât know blackcat carried around a whip,â scooby shot you a cheeky smile while reaching beside you on the counter for a drink.Â
you smiled, leaning your hip on the counter to face him. âshe doesnât, but cat woman does and she needed me to hold it for her.â
âwell⌠iâm glad she needed you to because it gave me an excuse to talk to you.â you both chuckled, your face getting flushed. he turned, mirroring your position against the counter. âiâm mingyu. i just joined the frat,â he explained rather shy in comparison to his confident demeanor that he approached you with. it was charming.Â
âwell hello mingyu,â you chuckled, chugging the rest of your lemon drop. âiâm y/n. iâm friends with cheol.â
âoh no way! youâre like⌠his best friend,â he laughs trying his drink. you giggled watching his face contort at the potency of the alcohol. âhey donât laugh! bleh! but itâs nice to finally meet you.âÂ
âitâs nice to meet you too,â you covered your mouth to snicker a bit more as if that makes it any less âmeanâ.Â
once he recovered a moment later, he sat his cup down and spoke up again. âyou know, y/n, you make a beautiful blackcat,â he complimented, giving you a once over as respectfully as he could. from the minute he laid eyes on you when yuqi had walked way from you, he knew he had to talk to you. your little whip that didnât go with your costume was his perfect excuse, and⌠you looked amazing. that couldâve even been enough of an excuse on its own.Â
your cheeks grew warm at the compliment with his demeanor and tone. itâd shifted to something more sensual than before. his eyes getting darker, but still soft.Â
âthank you,â you smiled before reaching up to play with one of his ears. âand you make an adorable puppy.âÂ
his body stiffened, but it was so subtle you almost didnât notice. you chose to ignore it, moving to his collar. âdid minghao make this?â you asked, tilting your head admiring the well recreated scooby dog tag. you pulled on it a little, as if to test its durability, but really you wanted to see if this was doing something to the tall man before you. sure enough, you watched as he swallowed rather hard under your touch. you wouldnât have noticed had you not been staring at his throat already.Â
ây-yeah he did. heâs really talented,â he said softly, slightly tilting his head back as you took your finger from the collar, and slowly traced it down his chest that was only covered by a thin, tight brown t-shirt.Â
âwhatâs the matter, scooby? cat got your tongue?â you asked in a very playful way, not wanting to come off too strong too fast as you were already mere centimeters away from his body now.Â
when he looked down at you, his eyes were pleading. desperate. like he was silently begging for you to do something more. he couldnât find the words to answer your silly question. instead he sent his eyes to scan your face, lingering longer over your lips.Â
âgyu!â you both jumped back from each other. up pranced soonyoung, but he wasnât a tiger. âand y/n? hey!â he gave you a hug and you squeezed him back.Â
âhey soonyoung!â you gathered your composure far quicker than mingyu who was still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. âa cowboy this year?â you motioned your hands to his costume.Â
âhad to change it up,â he shrugged. âstill got my date, though,â he grinned. you knew it was the stupid plastic skeleton he dragged along every year in the spirit of the holiday.Â
âwell, wherever you set her down, i can imagine she goes way better with this outfit than the tiger onesie,â you both laugh.
âgirl⌠a whip? i donât think blackcat-â
âshutup, i know. itâs yuqiâs. sheâs catwoman.â you deadpanned.Â
he put his hands up as if to surrender, âgot it, no need to use it on me.â you two laughed together again.
mingyu wasnât enjoying this conversation like you and soonyoung were, however.Â
he gently grabbed your wrist while patting soonyoung on the shoulder. âexcuse us,â were the first words to come out of his mouth in the past couple minutes. it came out low and demanding, an extreme contrast from the state you had him in before soonyoung showed up.Â
you looked at soonyoung then shrugged your shoulders in confusion and blew him a quick kiss, whip in hand as mingyu pulled you away. âhave fun!â he yelled after you both.Â
âmingyu, where the fuck are we going?â you finally ask as he's pulling you up the stairs.
âmy room,â he states bluntly.Â
âyour room? why didnât you just get ready here then?â your genuine curiosity taking over.Â
mingyu stopped you both in front of his door. âexcept for cheol and chan, we all got ready at vernonâs,â he answered very matter of fact, then his eyebrows furrowed remembering what he was doing.Â
he opened his door, pulling you in with him. once he closed the door, he grabbed you and pushed you against it, hands cupping your face, instantly attacking your lips with his own. your hand naturally found its way to his long, wavy hair while your other rested on his chest. you slightly tugged at his hair, a groan escaping his lips. you smiled and chuckled against his mouth, knowing exactly how this was gonna end, despite his attempts at taking control of the situation.Â
he ignored your cockiness, moving a hand to the zipper of your top, toying with it just to be a dick. after about 10 seconds of that, you decided it was enough.Â
âwhy donât you be a good puppy and unzip me already,â you pull on his hair hard enough to pull him away this time. his eyes desperately searched yours, not understanding, himself, why every time you called him that, it made him feel weak in his knees.Â
âo-okay,â he stuttered before unzipping your top the rest of the way. his mouth hung open at the way your tits broke free from the tight latex. âgod..â he whispered. eyes still locked on your chest, he tried to speak, âc-can i please-â
âyes,â you breathed, not letting him finish his sentence, knowing exactly what he wanted.Â
mingyu wasted no time, latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, desperately sucking on the skin as if his life depended on it. a low groan escaped your lips as you finally dropped the whip on the floor, and moved that hand to his back, lightly scratching at him through the thin fabric of his shirt. he moaned against your chest, sending a chill down your spine.
âon your knees,â you demanded. he pulled away from your chest with a rather puzzled expression on his face. âdonât make me say it again,â and with that, he practically dropped to the floor, looking up at you with the most beautiful eyes youâd ever seen. âgood boy,â you praised, petting his head between his ears. you walked over to his bed, sitting yourself down at the edge of it.Â
âcome,â you said gently. mingyu started to stand up. ânuh uh,â you stopped him. âon all fours.â
âi- but i-,â he tried to protest, stumbling over his words.
âcrawl. or iâll walk out that door right now,â you threatened.Â
he immediately got back on his knees, then bent forward, using his arms to help him crawl over to you. he didnât break eye contact as he made his way to where you sat on his bed, your legs slightly opened. you leaned down, reaching in between your legs for his collar. you hooked two fingers underneath it and pulled him forward. he wrapped his arms around your waist, knees still planted on the floor as he looked at you longingly.Â
âwhat a good puppy,â you cooed, moving your hand from his collar to his hair along with your other hand. you petted him right next to his ears on either side of his head. he hummed, tilting his head to the side, you moving your hand so he could rest his face on it. you thought this was just gonna be a typical dom/sub dynamic, but you quickly started realizing that it was far more than that.Â
you leaned down giving him a soft kiss to his lips, making him crave more. he moved his hands up to your face, pulling you back down. you both hungrily attacked each others lips, breathing in every bit of the other. âwhat the fuck are you doing to me,â he growled between kisses. to be quite honest, you had no idea either. you didnât even know this man, really.Â
âget on the bed,â you demanded, out of breath. he mumbled, âokay,â then stood up and sat in the middle of his bed. âlay down, obviously,â you deadpanned. he felt like an idiot as he laid himself down. he watched you with big eyes as you crawled up his body. you sat yourself on top of him and reached to hook your fingers under his collar again. you used it to pull him up to your level.Â
âtake your stupid shirt off.â he fumbled with the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. you ripped it from his hands and threw it across the room to god knows where. you pushed him back down, diving after his neck with your mouth. his back arched slightly from the bed as a whimper escaped his lips. as your teeth sunk into his skin, beginning to suck, his chest pressed against yours.
he knew it wasnât physically possible for him to get closer to your body, but he could try. he was desperate. he craved your warmth. he craved you. a complete stranger. ây/n, please,â he whined.
âplease what?â you whispered into his ear, then proceeded to kiss down his neck to his chest. all he could do was make pathetic little noises in response. âcmon, use your words like a good boy, huh?â you cooed looking up at him. you traced your fingers over his large pecs sending chills through his whole body.
âf-fuck,â he threw his head back into the pillow. âfuck me, y/n, please!â he panted, grabbing at the sheets beneath him.
âyouâd like that, wouldnât you?â you teased as you slipped a hand under his pants, grabbing him through his boxers. you couldnât help the sigh that escaped your mouth when you felt how big he was. he looked down at you with flushed cheeks, embarrassed at how easily he was being turned on by your words alone.Â
âi- i would love that, y/n,â his eyes were so desperate, so needy. âc-can i take my pants off?â god, he was so obedient. it excited you beyond your own comprehension. before you could even think about it, you hooked your fingers under the waistband of his pants and started shimmying them down his thick, muscular thighs.Â
âfuck,â you mumbled under your breath. the tent in his boxers was intimidating to say the least. you sat on his thighs as you pulled his cock out, admiring the way it grew even more at your direct touch. mingyu was panting like a bitch underneath you and you hadn't even started stroking him yet. âeasy there, big boy,â you giggled at his uneasiness. as you started pumping him with one hand, you used the other to stabilize yourself above him.
a deep groan ripped from his throat as he screwed his eyes shut at the sensation. âdoes that feel good, puppy?â you asked innocently. mingyu whimpered and looked into your eyes again, mere inches away. he used all his extra strength to push his head up to capture your lips with his. this kiss was far deeper than the others. it felt⌠more intimate than before.
âplease y/n i need you,â he whispered against your lips. honestly, you needed him too, so instead of continuing the torture any longer, you got off the bed to remove your top completely, and took your pants off. before getting back on top of him, you pulled his pants the rest of the way down, then stood at the edge of the bed, gawking.
this manâs body was godly. skin the perfect shade of gold, soft muscle curves, the slight glisten on his skin as the moonlight from the window reflects off of his sweat. and his face⌠fuck, his face. the way his eyes glisten with lust and need, his lips swollen and slightly parted as heâs nearly drooling, waiting for you to do something, and to top it all off, his puppy ears on his head with the collar on his neck making him all the more irresistible.Â
you climbed back on top of him, his eyes not leaving yours, whether you were looking back at him or not. he only looked away when you started grinding your soaked cunt against his cock. he watched intensely as your slick coated him from top to bottom, his tip leaking precum each time you slid forward. âready for me to fuck you, gyu?â you nearly whined out, your hands firmly placed on his chest to balance yourself.
âb-been ready, mo-â he stopped himself. âfuuuck please, y/n, please.â he begged.Â
âwhat a good fucking boy you are. donât even have to ask you to beg.â you lifted yourself, and as if there was a form of telepathy happening, he reached down to lift his cock straight up, ready for you to do nothing but line yourself up and sink down in him. however⌠you both knew that was going to be painful for you. your nails began to dig lightly into his chest as you slowly sunk yourself down on him. a long string of whimpers falling from your lips while he gripped your hips, helping you steady yourself as you now sat all the way down on his cock. you swiveled your hips a couple times before slowly lifting them and slamming back down onto him without warning. a gasp escaping your own lips.
âah! Fuck!â mingyu cried out, throwing his head back into the pillows again. the grip he had on your hips only tightened.
you moved your hands to his neck, applying only slight pressure as you started moving up and down on his cock. his breathing became sporadic, and you could feel his veins on his neck starting to bulge under your fingers as you started to pick up your pace. âcollar getting too tight?â you breathed.Â
ân-no,â mingyu choked out. âmmmph~ i like it,â his voice was hoarse, but soft. his hands finally moved from your hips to roam your body. he dragged them up your waist until he was cupping your tits. he started kneading the flesh, licking his lips as he watched your face start to contort with pleasure. you let go of his neck and put your hands on top of his, over your chest.Â
the scene was so beautiful before him, he was growing more and more impatient, needing to chase his high. you threw your head back crying out a âfuck!â as mingyu started meeting each bounce of yours with a sharp thrust.Â
âa-am i doing a good job?â he whined, âdoes it feel good?â all he wanted was your validation and praise.Â
ây-yes~ fuck- such a good boy for me,â you cooed as stable as possible. you brought a hand down and combed your fingers through his hair right below his puppy ears. his thrusts slowed and so did you. you hadnât realized how much of the âfuckingâ was being done by him now instead of you. he hummed and closed his eyes while you ran your fingers through his hair again. both of your movements came to a complete stop. nothing but cockwarming and heavy breaths while you petted the pretty boy beneath you.Â
once he opened his eyes, you gave him a soft smile and he nestled his face into your hand. looking up at you with those puppy eyes, the next words that came out of his mouth were jarring to say the least. âw-will you sit on my face? please?â you couldâve sworn he batted his lashes too.Â
you giggled before teasing him, âare you seriously asking to pleasure me right now?âÂ
âno im fucking begging, y/n please.â he whined.Â
âwell, when you beg like such a good boy, how could i tell you no, hm?â you hummed before moving your hands to his headboard, climbing up his body, stabilizing yourself over his face.Â
he wasted no time trying to attack your core with his tongue, but you didnât want to let him have it that easily. you moved a hand down to tug at his hair, pulling him off of you. ânuh uh. stick out your tongue,â you demanded.Â
âw-what?â his eyes were big with uncertainty.Â
âdid i stutter? stick out your tongue and stay like a good puppy.â you spit at him, no patience left in your voice.Â
so, mingyu did just that. slowly but surely he opened his mouth wide, laying his tongue out for you like the good boy he was.Â
you lowered yourself back down onto his tongue, slowly moving your soaked cunt back and forth. he just looked up at you with such adoration in his eyes, but tongue out like an absolute idiot. it was driving you crazy.Â
mingyu was going arguably more crazy, though. he wanted to devour you. taste every single inch of you, and lap up every last drop of your arousal like there was no tomorrow.Â
you let out a whimper that drove him over the edge, and he couldnât contain himself anymore. he brought his strong arms up, wrapping them around your thighs, locking you in place on his face. you gripped onto his bed frame tighter as he began to suck on your clit with such vigor, you almost came on the spot.Â
fuck heâs good at this.Â
he then started fucking his tongue in and out of you, using his own strength alone to bounce you up and down slightly on the muscle.Â
âmmph~ fuuuck~ mingyu please, donât stop,â you pleaded, knuckles white from holding onto his headboard for dear life. who was he to deny you? he moved one of his hands from your thigh to the bundle of nerves above where his tongue was fucking in and out of you. as soon as he started rubbing gentle but fast circles on your clit, you knew you weren���t gonna last long. the familiar knot in your tummy forming far faster than youâd like to admit.Â
âp-puppy iâm c-close. gonna make me cum,â you half panted, half wailed.Â
he moved his mouth away to talk, fingers still working on your clit.Â
âcum for me please baby, cum all over my tongue,â his voice had dropped to a dangerously low tone. he went back to tongue fucking you and your grip on his headboard became so tight you thought you might break it.Â
âgyu! fuck! iâm- fuck!â a wave of pure euphoria flooded your whole body faster than you could comprehend. mingyu lapped up every last bit of cum dripping from your cunt.
âjesus christ,â you panted.
âokay y/n, all fours.â
âwhat?â you looked down at mingyuâs big brown eyes in complete shock.
âi- iâm sorry please can i fuck you on all fours?â
âmingyu iâm not worried about how you wanna fuck me-â
âthen, please? can i? Iâve been a good boyâŚâ
âyou definitely have,â you reassured, moving a piece of his hair out of his face. âi just donât know if i have the energy for that right now.â
âyou donât have to do anything, just- y/n just let me take care of youâŚâ his voice was so soft and genuine. nothing like you were used to from a hookup.
âfine⌠then can i just lay on my back?â you both chuckled.
âwhatever you want.â
once you guys repositioned yourselves, mingyu on top of you for the first time tonight, you couldnât help but let your mind race. i could get used to this view⌠y/n stop itâs just a fucking hookup, youâll only ever see him again in passing. but his voice⌠the way heâs speaking to me is so⌠sweet⌠so? heâs probably just fucking pussy whipped. and pussy whipped he was, but it wasnât that simple.
âare you ready, baby?â his eyes scanning yours intently as if to catch any trace of uncertainty that may reside in your eyes.
ây-yes. at least i hope,â you giggled. a fangy smile gracing his face. fuck, his smile.
as mingyu started to push himself into you, you winced at the stretch. it was almost like heâd gotten bigger since you were on top of him earlier. âah~ fuck gyu,â you whined.
âtoo much? do you want me to stop?â
âno, no please donât stop,â you just gripped onto his arms and closed your eyes.
a couple seconds later and he finally bottomed out, causing both of you to let out a string of low moans as you both adjusted to the feeling of his rather fucking huge dick inside of you. (how else was i supposed to word that like câmon now)
within a minute mingyu was drilling into you at an animalistic pace. the grip you had on his biceps probably close to breaking skin with your nails. your back arched at its limit. both of you sounding like you're in one of the most hardcore pornos ever filmed. the bed creaking, slamming into the wall⌠you get it.
the rest of the world had completely withered away at this point when suddenlyâŚÂ
BANG BANG BANG! âjesus christ, mingyu! that you in there?â seungcheol⌠fuck.
mingyu stilled all movement, âuhhh yeah⌠what do you want?â he dropped his head onto the pillow right next to your head. you couldnât help but giggle.
âSorry.. just uh⌠have you seen y/n?!â he yelled from the other side of the door. mingyuâs head shot up, both of you looking at each other with complete panic in your eyes.
âyou could⌠you could say that iâve seen her⌠yeah?â mingyu yelled back, wincing as he awaited his response.
when seuncheol didnât answer right away, you decided to speak up. âhi cheolâŚâ you said softly but loud enough for him to hear you.
âyouâre fucking kidding,â seungcheol scoffed before walking away yelling, âyou two fuckbirds have fun!â
you and mingyu just laid there for a second before bursting out laughing.
âokay that was embarrassing,â you covered your face.
âoh donât act like you didnât like it,â he grinned, leaning down to start kissing on your neck. âyou think i canât feel how much wetter you got?â he bucked his hips into you without warning, making you yelp. he just chuckled, lifting his head up to look at you again.
your mouth was hung open like an idiot, unsure of how to respond, actually embarrassed now.
âlook whoâs the tough guy now, huh?â he taunted, beginning to slowly pump in and out of you again. your eyes rolled back into your head and your hands reached for his hair. sensing that the puppy fun would be ending now, you tried to focus your vision enough to unclip the ears from his hair and throw them elsewhere in his room. âoh, are we done with those now?â he asked in such a bitchy tone, you couldâve slapped him back into his submissive state, but you were over the playing now.
âmingyu, just fuck me,â you panted now able to put your hands in his hair how you please.
âthatâs no way to get what you want now, gorgeous.â
âmingyu, please just fuck me already!â you whined, wrapping your legs around his torso.Â
the groan that escaped his lips at that action was inhuman as he sped back up to his pace from before, however, far harder.Â
âfuck! Mingyu!â you cried out, unable to do or say anything else.
âwhat? wanted me to f-fuck you, no?â he teased, stopping to lift one of your legs over his shoulder, then removing your mask in one quick motion before pounding into you again. the new angle pushed you to your limit once again, far too fast for your own sanity. âlet go for me again baby, i can feel it. youâre c-close arenât you?â he cooed softly in contrast to his brutal movements. âtouch yourself for me,â he breathed.Â
you moved a hand down to your clit, rubbing away at the bud while your other arm moved to his back, pulling his body closer to yours as you reached your high. the close proximity bringing his clingy self closer to his own breaking point.Â
now forehead to forehead, the knot in your stomach about to snap, you moved your other hand up to his back, fingertips lightly pressing into the skin. mingyu brought a hand to your neck, holding it gently, but firm as he railed into you for the last few times.Â
â-m cumming!â you cried, now digging your nails into his back.Â
âfuck!â he growled at the lovely sting of the scratches you were leaving. your cunt fluttering around his cock however was the final straw. âah~ baby~â he groaned before crashing his lips into yours as his orgasm hit.Â
âso⌠you always have wipes conveniently available on your nightstand?â you giggled, curled up in his arms under his blankets.Â
âyou know, it was actually pure luck,â he started. âcheol did a grocery run today and when he brought me my bag there were a couple of our toiletries and i was gonna go put them in the bathroom bu-â
âhey, gyu?â you looked up at him.Â
âyeah?â
âshhhhhâŚâ you smiled, placing a soft kiss to his lips before laying your head back down on his chest.
he kissed the top of your head and whispered with a chuckle, âsorry. i talk too much.â
âuh uh just⌠sleepy,â you yawned.Â
how you two managed to tune out the party is beyond anyoneâs guess. he didnât have to run his fingers in your hair for a full minute before you knocked out, but he did anyway until he fell asleep himself.Â
tag list: @skzooluvr @jenoslutie @iluvhoshi @goblynnrockz @map0fthes0ul7 @unlikelysublimekryptonite @actuallynarii @glttrlix @ninigyuuu @starcandybby (i hope that was everyone! i feel like my list got messed up but hopefully it's right!)
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Behind Fogged Windows
On a rainy night, you (fem!reader) and Emily Prentiss find yourselves tangled in the charged space of a parked car, where unspoken tensions finally come to a head. tw: smut, power dynamics, mention of death
(words: 4895)
The hum of the SUV engine filled the tense silence, a low, steady drone that matched the rain tapping against the windshield. Emilyâs hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles taut and pale in the glow of the dashboard lights. Her eyes were locked on the road ahead, jaw set in a way that made your chest ache and your stomach twist.
You turned your gaze back to the passenger side window, counting raindrops as they streaked across the glass, smearing the passing streetlights into watery streaks of gold and white. Anything to keep your mind off the weight of the silence between you. But it was impossible to ignore the occasional scoff that escaped Emily's lips or the way her fingers flexed against the wheel every now and then, betraying the storm brewing beneath her calm exterior.
You didnât need her to say it. You already knew what she was thinking. Youâd seen the anger flash in her dark eyes when your hand collided with the unsubâs face earlier, and the sharp edge of her voice when she pulled you aside afterward still echoed in your ears.
âYou crossed the line, and you know it.â
And you did. But standing in that suffocating basement, staring at the lifeless bodies of three more women, three more victims who looked just like you, the rage had swallowed you whole. The unsubâs smug grin had been the match, and you, the kindling. You hadnât even realized what you were doing until the sting of the punch echoed against the concrete walls.
Now, Emily wouldnât even look at you.
Another sigh from her side of the car. This one was heavier, laced with something you couldnât quite place, frustration, maybe, or disappointment. It cut deeper than the silence, leaving you restless in your seat.
âEmily,â you finally said, your voice soft, testing the waters.
Nothing.
âEmily, Iââ
âNot now,â she interrupted, her tone clipped and final. Her fingers tightened on the wheel as the SUV turned onto the long stretch of highway that led to Quantico. âJust⌠not now.â
Her words silenced you, but they didnât ease the tension. If anything, the chasm between you seemed to widen, leaving you grasping for somethingâanythingâthat might bridge it.
You stole a glance at her out of the corner of your eye. The sharp angles of her face were cast in shadows, her focus unwavering as the windshield wipers beat a steady rhythm against the rain. She looked impossibly composed, but you knew better. Youâd worked alongside her long enough to know when the cracks were there, even if she kept them well hidden.
âI couldnât just stand there,â you murmured, almost to yourself.
Her scoff was sharp this time, cutting through the low rumble of the engine. âThatâs not the point.â
âThen what is the point?â you pressed, unable to keep the frustration from creeping into your voice. âWeâre supposed to just sit back and let himâ?â
âThe point,â she snapped, finally tearing her eyes from the road to glare at you, âis that you let your emotions take over. You compromised yourself, and you compromised the team.â
Her words hit harder than you expected, but you refused to back down. âHe killed seven women, Emily. Seven. And theyââ Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, gripping the edge of your seat. âThey all looked like me.â
For a moment, her expression softened, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by the same steely resolve she always wore when she was trying to keep her own emotions in check. She looked away, focusing on the road again, and the silence returned, heavier than before.
You turned back to the window, blinking away the sting in your eyes as the rain blurred the world outside. Minutes stretched into miles, each one heavier than the last. The distance between you felt unbearable, but neither of you seemed willing to cross it.
Then, as the SUV passed under the dim glow of an overpass, you felt itâa brief, almost imperceptible brush of her hand against yours where it rested on the center console. It was fleeting, so light you might have imagined it, but it sent a jolt through you all the same.
You glanced at her, heart pounding, but her gaze was fixed on the road, her expression unreadable.
The faint touch lingered like a phantom, sparking something between you that you couldnât name but couldnât ignore. You thought about saying somethingâan apology, an explanation, anything to chip away at the wall between youâbut the words caught in your throat. You settled for stealing another glance at her, hoping to find a clue in the sharp line of her jaw or the tight set of her lips.
Nothing.
âI get it, you know,â you said, voice barely above a whisper. You werenât sure she even heard you until her grip on the wheel faltered, the car veering just enough for her to correct it with a light pull.
Her scoff came next, brittle and full of disbelief. âDo you?â
âYes,â you shot back, louder this time. âI get why youâre mad. I get why I shouldnât have done it. But donât stand there and act like you wouldnât have felt the same way if it was you.â
Her laugh was humorless, a sharp exhale that cut through the cabin like a blade. âThis isnât about what I would feel. Itâs about what I would do. And I wouldnât risk everything weâve worked for just to feel better for five seconds.â
Her words were cold, calculated, but there was something underneath themâsomething raw and unspoken that made your heart twist.
âThatâs not fair,â you said finally, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. âYou donât know what itâs like.â
Emilyâs eyes snapped to you, sharp and full of fire. âDonât you dare.â
For a moment, the tension between you was a living thing, crackling in the air like the storm outside. The rain had picked up, pounding against the roof and drowning out everything but the sound of your shallow breaths.
But then her gaze softenedâjust a fractionâand she turned back to the road, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. âYou canât just lose control like that, not in this job. Not ever.â
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words died on your lips. She was right, of course. Youâd let your emotions take over, and it had put everything at riskâyour career, your credibility, even her trust.
But beneath her anger, you could see something else now. Something deeper. Something she wasnât saying.
The rain continued to beat against the windshield as the SUV approached a red light. Emily slowed to a stop, her hands gripping the wheel like it was the only thing anchoring her. You turned to face her fully, the soft glow of the streetlights catching on her profile.
âIâm sorry,â you said finally, your voice trembling. âI didnât mean toââ
âI know,â she said, cutting you off. Her voice was softer now. She still wouldnât look at you. As the light turned green, she hesitated, her foot hovering over the pedal. For a moment, you thought she might say something, but then she shook her head and pressed forward, the car lurching back into motion.
The hum of the engine returned, a quiet backdrop to the sound of the rain drumming hard against the roof. The occasional flash of lightning lit up the interior of the SUV, casting fleeting shadows over Emilyâs sharp profile. Her silence wasnât as sharp as before, but it was no less weighted. It pressed against you, the unspoken words between you vibrating like a taut string.
You shifted in your seat, the leather cool beneath you, and risked another glance at her. Her dark eyes locked with yours, and for the first time that night, she didnât look angry. She looked⌠conflicted. The storm outside had nothing on the tempest swirling in her eyes.
âWhat?â she asked finally, her voice low, almost a growl. The word wasnât as biting as you expected, but it carried enough heat to send a shiver down your spine.
âIââ You hesitated, searching her face for somethingâpermission, maybe, or understanding. âI just⌠Iâm not good at holding it in. Not like you.â
Her jaw tensed, and she looked away again, but you caught the flicker of something in her expression before she turned. Something vulnerable. âThatâs not an excuse,â she muttered, but there was less venom in her tone now.
âIâm not trying to excuse it,â you said quickly, leaning slightly toward her. The space between you felt unbearably wide, and the need to close itâto reach herâwas almost overwhelming. âIâm trying to explain.â
She exhaled sharply, her grip on the wheel tightening again. âYou donât need to explain. I already know why you did it. I know what you were feeling.â
The words hung in the air, heavy and charged. You werenât sure if she meant to say them aloud, but the way her throat worked as she swallowed told you she hadnât planned to.
The SUV slowed as she pulled into an empty rest stop, the rain shimmering under the flickering fluorescent lights. She threw the car into park and turned off the engine.
Finally, she turned to face you, and the look in her eyes stole the breath from your lungs. There was still anger there, but it was layered with something else nowâsomething darker, more intimate. The way her gaze swept over your face, lingering on your lips for just a fraction of a second too long, made your skin tingle.
âYouâre always so in control,â Â you said softly, breaking the quiet. The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted it when her jaw tightened.
Her laugh was low and bitter, barely more than a breath. âIs that what you think?â she asked. Her voice was calmer now, but there was an edge to it, like a wire pulled taut and ready to snap.
âIsnât it true?â you pressed, unable to ignore the question burning in your chest. âYou never let anything get to you. Youâre always composed, always one step ahead. Itâs like nothing fazes you.â
 âYou think Iâm in control?â she repeated, her voice quieter now, almost disbelieving.
You nodded, your throat suddenly dry under the weight of her gaze. âYou make it seem effortless.â
For a moment, she just stared at you, her dark eyes unreadable. Then she exhaled sharply and leaned back in her seat, her hand moving to rake through her hair. The movement was uncharacteristically unguarded, almost vulnerable.
âIâm not in control,â she said finally, her voice low but steady. âNot when it comes to you.â
Her admission sent a jolt through your chest, your heart thudding painfully as her words hung in the air.
âEmilyâŚâ You said her name carefully, as if speaking it too loudly might shatter the fragile moment.
âYou donât get it,â she continued, cutting you off. âEvery time youâre close, every time you look at me like thatââ Her voice faltered, and she swallowed hard, her eyes darting away. âI have to fight every instinct I have not toââ
She stopped abruptly, her teeth clenching as she turned back to face the windshield. Her fingers dug into the edge of the console now, and the sight of it made your chest tighten.
âNot to what?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Her jaw worked as she clenched it, the tension radiating off her like heat. âNot to touch you,â she said finally, her voice so quiet you almost didnât hear it. âNot to cross a line I canât uncross.â
The raw honesty in her tone made your breath hitch. The woman who always seemed untouchable, unshakable, was unraveling right in front of you, and it made your pulse race in a way you couldnât control. âI know what I wantâŚâ
 Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but she stopped herself, looking away sharply.  âYouâre playing with fire,â she said finally, her tone measured, deliberate. âAnd I donât think youâre ready for what happens if you get burned.â
Your heart hammered against your ribs as her words sank in. The warning in her voice should have scared you, should have made you pull backâbut instead, it only drew you closer.
âMaybe I want to get burned,â you murmured, your voice trembling but steady enough to hold her gaze.
Her eyes darkened, and her grip on the console tightened. âYou donât know what youâre asking for,â she said, her voice low and dangerous, like a storm brewing just beneath the surface.
âDonât I?â you challenged, leaning closer, the space between you shrinking. âMaybe itâs okay to lose control sometimes. Maybe itâs okay toââ You hesitated, searching her face for a sign, for anything that might give you courage. âTo cross that line.â
Her head snapped toward you, her eyes narrowing as her jaw tightened. âYou donât get it. This isnât just about what you want. Itâs about what I canât have. What I shouldnâtâŚâ she said, her voice sharp, almost acusatory.
âYou shouldnât want me, I shouldn't want you...,â you interrupted softly, your voice trembling just enough to betray the emotions churning inside you. âI know that. I know all the reasons why this is wrong â b-but I want you, tooâŚâ you said quickly, shaking your head.
The silence that followed was deafening. Her gaze bore into you, unrelenting and intense, and you could see the war she was waging with herself. The lines around her mouth softened, but the tension in her shoulders remained, like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff and couldnât decide whether to fall or pull herself back.
âDamn it,â she muttered under her breath, her fingers flexing against the console. Her eyes darted to yours again, and this time, they were filled with something raw and unguarded.
Her jaw tightened, the muscle ticking as she fought for control. For a long moment, she didnât move, didnât speak, and the silence between you grew heavier with every passing second. Then, with a slow, deliberate exhale, she shifted in her seat, reaching down to adjust the lever at her side.
The click of the seat sliding back was deafening in the quiet car. She leaned back, her shoulders pressing against the seat as she settled into the new space, her dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that pinned you in place. She didnât say a word, but the command was clear in the way her hands rested on her thighs, her fingers twitching like she was daring you to make the next move.
You swallowed hard, the weight of her gaze almost unbearable as you unbuckled your seatbelt and shifted toward her. Her hands were on you the moment you were close enough. Her strength was intoxicating, her presence overwhelming, and before you knew it, you were straddling her lap, her hands settling on your waist like theyâd been there a thousand times before. The leather seat creaked beneath you, the only sound aside from the rain and your shallow breaths.
âLook at me,â she said, her voice quiet but laced with steel.
You did, your gaze locking onto hers as her hands slid up your sides, her touch measured and deliberate, as though she was reminding youâreminding herselfâthat she was still the one in control here. Her eyes were dark, her pupils blown wide, but there was no hesitation in them, no sign of the internal war youâd seen earlier.
âDo you know why I donât let myself lose control?â she asked, her voice low and deliberate, her hands tightening slightly on your waist.
You shook your head, unable to find the words, too caught up in the intensity of her gaze and the steady, deliberate way her thumbs brushed against your ribs.
âBecause when I do,â she continued, her tone soft but carrying the weight of an unspoken promise, âI donât stop. I donât hold back.â
The meaning behind her words settled over you, sending a shiver down your spine. Her grip on you shifted, her hands sliding lower, her fingers splaying across your thighs as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your cheek.
âYou think youâre ready for that?â she asked, her voice a quiet challenge, her lips so close to yours now that it was almost unbearable.
âI know I am,â you whispered, your voice trembling but certain.
Her lips curved, her approval subtle but unmistakable as her hands slid up, tracing the curve of your waist with a possessive, measured touch. The warmth of her palms seeped through the thin fabric of your shirt, leaving your skin tingling in their wake. âWeâll see,â she murmured, her voice low and laced with a dangerous kind of promise that sent heat pooling low in your stomach.
Her eyes locked onto yours, her gaze heavy with control and desire. The warmth of her hands seeped through your shirt as her fingers skimmed up your waist, deliberate in their exploration. âYouâre so sure of yourself,â she murmured, her voice a low hum that vibrated in the space between you. âLetâs see if that holds.â
Her lips met yours with a commanding force, the kiss deep and unyielding, stealing the breath from your lungs. Her fingers slipped under the fabric of your shirt, her touch firm and purposeful as she mapped the bare skin of your ribs. The heat of her palms lingered wherever she touched, drawing soft gasps from you as your hands clutched her shoulders for balance.
Her lips left yours, trailing down your jawline, the scrape of her teeth against your pulse making your breath stutter. A soft sound escaped youâa gasp you couldnât hold backâand she paused just long enough for her lips to curve into a faint smirk against your skin.
âYou like that,â she murmured, her voice dripping with satisfaction, the words rolling over you like silk. âGood.â
The creak of the leather seat beneath you was sharp against the muffled rhythm of the rain now falling in earnest. The windows around you had begun to fog, blurring the outside world into nothingness. Her lips pressed to the spot just below your ear, lingering there with unhurried confidence, while her hands moved with certainty. One hand slipped higher, her fingers brushing the curve of your breast, teasing without fully giving in.
Her other hand at your waist slipped lower, her fingers hooking into the waistband of your pants. She paused, her gaze snapping back to yours, her dark eyes piercing through the haze between you.
âYouâre going to let me, arenât you?â The question wasnât really a question, her voice carrying a weight that made refusal impossible.
âYes,â you breathed, your voice trembling, the answer pulled from somewhere deep inside you.
Her gaze locked onto yours, dark and unrelenting, holding you captive in the charged space between you. The hand under your shirt slid even higher, the rough pad of her thumb finding your nipple through the lace of your bra. She pressed just enough to elicit a gasp from you, her touch precise as she began to circle, testing your sensitivity with each deliberate motion.
âLetâs get this out of the way,â she murmured, her voice low and commanding, her hands tugging at the hem of your shirt. You lifted your arms instinctively, allowing her to pull the fabric over your head in one fluid motion. She paused for a moment, her dark eyes roving over your exposed skin with an intensity that left your heart racing.
Her fingers found the clasp of your bra, and with practiced ease, she unhooked it, sliding the straps down your arms. The lace fell away, and the cool air of the car brushed against your heated skin, making you shiver under her gaze.
Her hand returned, cupping you fully now, her thumb brushing over your bare nipple in a slow, deliberate motion. The sensation sent a fresh wave of heat pooling low in your stomach, your body arching slightly into her touch. Her other hand settled on your waist, holding you steady, grounding you as her lips curved into a faint, knowing smile.
âYouâre beautiful,â she murmured, her voice soft but filled with an authority that made the compliment hit deeper. Her thumb rolled over your nipple again, firmer this time, coaxing a breathless sound from you that she caught with a satisfied hum.
The hand on your hip moved with purpose, slipping beneath the waistband of your pants and brushing against your damp underwear with a deliberate slowness that made your breath hitch. The heat of her palm burned into you, her touch igniting a fire in your core as her fingers traced the edge of the thin fabric, the only barrier between you and her touch.
Each pass was maddeningly light, the barest graze that left your hips shifting instinctively toward her, chasing the contact. The smirk tugging at her lips was both infuriating and intoxicating, her dominance evident, taking her time to watch every quiver of your body under her hands.
"You're already shaking," she murmured, her voice low and dripping with satisfaction, her thumb brushing a line that sent a fresh wave of heat through you. Her teasing was intentional, her restraint designed to unravel you inch by inch, as if she could sense the tension coiling tighter in your stomach.
Her lips found yours again, her kiss more commanding this time. She nipped at your bottom lip before deepening it, her tongue sliding against yours in a rhythm that matched the way her fingers moved, stroking just enough to make your hips lift involuntarily toward her touch.
Emily leaned back slightly against the driverâs seat, her dark eyes fixed on you with a teasing intensity. âImpatient, arenât you?â she murmured, her voice low and edged with dark amusement. Her lips brushed against yours as she spoke, the faintest contact that left you chasing her for more. She let the question linger, savoring the way your breath hitched when her fingers finally slipped beneath the last barrier of fabric, brushing against the slick heat that betrayed how much you needed her.
Her movements were slow, maddeningly precise, her fingers exploring every sensitive spot as if committing a map to memory. Your breathing became shallow, uneven, and when her touch finally found the place that made your body arch instinctively, she paused, testing. Her smirk deepened at your stuttered moan as she circled her fingers, slowly, deliberately, before pushing two fingers inside you. The pressure of her thumb on your nub increased just enough to draw a gasp from you.
Emilyâs eyes werr locked with yours, her fingers never faltering in their rhythm as her free hand slid up your back, pulling you closer until her breath ghosted over your ear. âGo on,â she murmured, her voice a velvet command, low and rough enough to send a shiver down your spine. âRide my fingers. Show me how much you want this.â
Her grip on your hip tightened, guiding you as she pressed her hand more firmly against you. The angle changed just enough to draw a sharp gasp from your lips, your body moving instinctively to meet her. Your fingers dug into her shoulders, seeking some anchor as the steady, insistent rhythm of her touch threatened to overwhelm you.
âThatâs it,â Emily murmured, her voice dripping with encouragement as her eyes never left your face, dark and intent. âTake what you need.â
Her fingers moved in perfect synchronization with your movements, their pace matching the urgency you set. Each roll of your hips sent jolts of pleasure coursing through you, your breath coming in ragged bursts. Emilyâs low hum vibrated against your chest, her hand on your hip holding you steady as you lost yourself in the sensations.
âYouâre doing so well,â she whispered, her words melting into a kiss against your jawline, her lips brushing against your skin in a way that made your movements falter for just a moment. She didnât let up, didnât waver, her fingers coaxing you, urging you to keep going. âDonât stop now. I want to feel you come apart for me.â
The sound you made was swallowed by her lips, the kiss deep and consuming as her other hand skimmed over your bare skin. Her touch was unhurried, deliberate, her palm warm as it traced the curve of your side before finding your breast again. Her thumb and forefinger brushed over your nipple with a precision that drew a soft, involuntary cry from you, her movements synchronizing perfectly with the rhythm of her hand and your hips below.
âYou feel so good,â she murmured, her voice low and filled with a reverence that sent a shiver down your spine. Her lips brushed against your jaw as she spoke, the intimacy of her praise wrapping around you like a cocoon. The words were soft, almost a secret, meant only for you as she continued to unravel you piece by piece.
Her fingers below shifted as your movements became more urgent, her touch becoming more insistent, her pace quickening just enough to coax another moan from your lips. You clinged to her as your body arched into her touch, unable to resist the tension building with each precise movement. She tilted her head slightly, her breath warm against your skin as her lips traveled lower, leaving a line of kisses along the curve of your neck. Each press of her lips was slow, deliberate, designed to set your skin aflame.
âYouâre such a good girl for me,â she purred into your ear, the words like molten heat. Her voice was rich, the approval in her tone unmistakable as her fingers moved with unwavering confidence, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. She drank in every gasp, every tremble, every moan, her hold on you steady and unyielding, as she guides you to ride her hand.
The praise sent a rush of heat through you, your body arching against hers as she took you higher. The fogged windows turned the world outside into a blur, all your focus narrowed to the way her fingers moved inside you, the way her lips claimed every sound you made. Her fingers pressed deeper now, her movements steady and confident.
Her lips found the curve of your neck, her teeth grazing lightly before pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. The contrast of her gentleness there and the unrelenting rhythm of her hand and your rolling hips left you reeling, every nerve in your body alight.
âYouâre doing so well,â she murmured. The praise hit you with a force that made your chest tighten, your stomach fluttering as you arched closer to her, seeking more, needing more.
Your nails dug into the fabric of her shirt as you clung to her, barely able to keep yourself steady. She responded with a low hum of approval.
âEmily ââ her name fell from your lips, broken and pleading, your voice trembling with need. She pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, her dark eyes locking onto yours.
âCome on,â she urged softly, her breath warm against your temple. âI want to feel you. Let me take care of you. Let go for me,â she said, her tone firm but filled with an intimacy that stole the air from your lungs.
Her words were a command and a promise all at once, her fingers pressing just right as the tension that had been building within you finally snapped. The world blurred at the edges as your body arched against hers, a strangled cry escaping you as waves of pleasure crashed through you, each stronger than the last. You fell apart in her arms, she held you through it, her touch never faltering, her kisses a steady anchor in the storm.
You collapsed against her, your forehead resting on her shoulder as you tried to catch your breath, your heart racing so hard you thought it might burst. But she didnât let you go, her arms wrapping around you securely, holding you as though you were something precious.
Her lips pressed softly against your temple, the tenderness of the gesture a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just passed between you. âYouâre safe,â she murmured, her voice low and soothing, her hand rubbing gentle circles into your back.
Even as your body trembled with aftershocks, the warmth of her embrace grounded you, a silent reassurance that she wouldnât let you drift away. You closed your eyes, melting into her, feeling the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself surrender completely.
The rain outside had intensified, now battering the windows in rhythmic drumming that matched the pulse still thrumming in your veins. The fog had settled over the glass, blurring the world outside as if it was a dreamâfuzzy, indistinct, just like the space between you two now.
#requests open#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss smut#emily prentiss fanfiction#lesbian emily prentiss#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution
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Of Bookstore, Coffees, and Late Nights
Sunshine!Reader/Southern!Reader/Plus Sized!Reader
Summary: After Spencer is shot he can't do much in the field for a while, being stuck to the offices in Quantico. His insomnia starts to amp up and instead of an urge for McDonald's at 1 AM he finds himself desperate for a new book and a coffee. Somehow, he finds the Midnight Owl, the late night bookstore/cafe open at weird hours with a cute southern co owner who probably gets the same amount of sleep as he does.
She also makes the best coffee that is disgustingly sweet. Exactly how he likes it.
Word Count: 11k
Warnings: Mentions of Season 5 100 episode and canon typical BAU themes
|Next
The one with the late night bookstore   Â
If Spencer could pace, he would, but his new semi-permanent crutch situation was impeding his mobility. He hasnât been able to sleep, much less relax with the knowledge of Hotch being stabbed by George Foyet in his own home. Or how itâs clear that Foyet is playing an extreme game with the BAU, but mostly Hotch. Spencer didnât even want to think about poor Haley and Jack being thrown into witness protection. These were scenarios Spencer knew came with the job he does, but seeing it happen to people he knows and cares about, makes his stomach churn. He couldnât imagine if it was his own mother being threatened. It sends a cold chill down his back. He needs a distraction.   Â
Spencerâs eyes drag over to his used and abused bookshelf. Looking through his collection trying to find something to read. Even for a distraction heâs not very interested in rereading any of the texts on his shelf. His go to comfort of Sherlock Holmes doesnât even seem all that appealing at the moment. He needs something that isnât about criminals or detectives right now. Too bad nothing else on his shelf seemed to catch his eye. Spencer eyes his clock and the analog clock on his wall tells him itâs two in the morning. Heâd be lucky if anything besides a dingy twenty-four-hour cafe was open, much less a bookstore.   Â
He sighs and looks over at his discarded laptop on his desk. He boots it up to see if maybe he could at least check how early the library opened. He could try to sleep but his insomnia was eating away at him, trying to focus on anything else but work seemed harder and harder. Spencer had to get out of his apartment. He looks up the library hours as well as a few bookstores. Just trying to see how soon he could sit down and avoid the never-ending running of his brain. Heâs surprised when he finds a bookstore that was advertising its hours as open. Surely that was wrong. He spots the phone number on the webpage, and he decides to call to double check.   Â
The line rings for roughly two seconds before itâs picked up, a melodic voice on the other line states, âMidnight Owl, this is Y/N how can I help you?â The cadence of the womanâs voice much too chipper for the middle of the night.   Â
Spencerâs shocked into silence for a moment before he responds, âI thought the hours posted were wrong...â He finds himself stating.  Â
âNope!â She replies, unbothered by his blunt response. âWeâre open 24/5, only closed on Fridays and Saturdays!â She tells him brightly, âYou wouldnât be the first to call thinking we posted our hours wrong though. More common than you think.â   Â
He coughs awkwardly and finds himself nodding even though she canât see it. âOkay, great, thank you so much.â   Â
âNot a problem, swing by some time we have the best drinks crafted by yours truly!â She jokes with a soft laugh trailing her sentence. She drawls out the end of her words in a way that has them twisting together as sweet as the tea heâs almost positive she drinks.  Â
âHave a good night.â He states before hanging up the phone.   Â
He looks at the address listed and finds that itâs just up the street, barely a block away.   Â
Spencer eyes his crutches for a moment debating on whether he should go or not. His good leg shakes in anxious movements as he sits on his couch. What were the odds that there was a bookstore up his block that was open at odd hours that catered to him? He knew the odds; they were incredibly low . He shrugs to himself and hobbles to grab his crutches, heâll check it out. Why the hell not? If itâs too good to be true he can add it to the list of places heâll never visit again like that one coffee shop downtown that burns everything heâs ever ordered.   Â
He desperately needs to get out of his apartment.   Â
-Â Â Â
Y/Nâs night at the Midnight Owl was going slowly. You had a few regulars wander in, which you were happy about since the store had only officially been open for four months. There was a couple that sat on the loveseat in the cafe every Thursday night reading their books together and drinking the cafeâs famous homemade lavender lemonade. Not that you could brag about it, your co-owner makes pastries and premade drinks. All homemade family recipes. On the opposite side of the store was the guy who came in every other day to check for anything new. He grabs a coffee and roams the stacks for an hour. Sometimes he buys, sometimes he doesnât. He comes in at the same time though, so youâre pretty sure he works a graveyard shift.   Â
There were a couple of students at a table in the cafe section clearly up studying and writing papers. The semester for school had only just started a month ago, but the influx of students coming and going was increasing by the day.   Â
You loved your little bookstore, and during the day it was popping. A rising trendy place for local university students. You preferred the quiet of the nights though. It gave you time to make orders for books, restock, and change out displays. It was methodical cleaning and sorting that kept you sane. Your daytime life was overly complicated and having your own corner of the world was nice. It felt like a safe bubble that didnât necessarily feel like work.   Â
Youâre in the middle of compiling a list of books to reorder that have already sold out when the front doorbell chimes telling her someone just entered. You are behind a stack finishing what you're writing on your notepad when you calls out, âBe right there!â   Â
You bound around the stack to the counter to meet the newcomer, âWelcome in! How can I help you?â you asked happily pushing your hair behind your ear nervously.   Â
You scan the guy from head to toe, heâs definitely new. He looks like a grad student, probably around your age. His mousy brown hair is tied back into a low ponytail and heâs in a well-worn Caltech shirt and sweatpants. The oddest thing about him is the crutches heâs sporting as he comes in. You send him a warm smile.  Â
Spencer looks at the woman standing at the counter and finds youâre not what he expected you to be. You look like the moon; you have features that are soft and delicate, and your eyes shine with the bright ambience of the bookstore. Spencer almost loses his train of thought as he takes in the bookstore workerâs features that just made you seem so inviting.   Â
It takes a second before he registers that you asked him a question. âOh, yes,â he rushes out awkwardly. âIs the cafe still open?â He questions, tilting his head to the empty-looking bar on the other side.   Â
You nod happily, âIt is! Iâm the only one who works the night shift, so I run the register and the cafe. Would you like something?â you ask him, already walking toward the counter that holds the cabinet of pastries and coffee machines.   Â
âA latte would be great actually.â He says in a much clearer voice.   Â
âCan do.â You grin at him radiantly and itâs so infectious he finds himself returning one. You turn and almost have a skip to your step as you walk, far too awake for him to deem reasonable for two in the morning.   Â
Spencer watches her as he slowly moves forward on his crutches, she almost dances around the machines as she makes his latte. Sheâs humming to the music that heâs finally registered playing in the bookstore. Sheâs radiating a warmth that Spencer doesnât get to see much day to day except for the one and only, Penelope Garcia. Garcia looked and acted like the sun, one giant ball of pink and blonde energy. He watches the worker move around her workstation making his latte and itâs seamless how she moves, itâs her second nature. Sheâs just at ease here, which settles his uneasy nerves about trying a new place out in the middle of the night. He looks around and sees a few people mingling about.  Â
Spencer takes time to look around the store and notices how it feels much more lived in than any box stores heâs been to. The overhead lights arenât fluorescent like a normal store but a few well-placed wooden chandeliers that are carved to look like vines. Every other light is a floor light or table lamp that has mismatched covers and stained glass. He turns to the large windows, and he guesses the store probably gets great sunshine when itâs daylight. The multiple house plants by the window and on the empty tables being a good indicator. The ambiance is so inviting, not to mention the amount of comfortable faux leather seating he sees.   Â
He could imagine spending a lot of time here, it was just so cozy. Spencer canât imagine he would have missed this place opening but with all the cases theyâve been busy with, he actually isnât surprised at all.   Â
Heâs brought out of his thoughts by her placing the drink on the pickup bar, âSo what ails you?â Your voice carries to him, and you tilt your head waiting patiently.  Â
âExcuse me?â He finds himself stuttering out.  Â
You shrug nonchalantly, âWell, itâs the middle of the night and Iâve never seen your face in here before.â You state the fact like it's so obvious.   Â
âSo, whatâs bugginâ you?â Your voice drawls out sweetly as you look at him expectantly.  Â
Itâs almost like the lights in the cafe frame her from behind, bright and dazzling. Sheâs clearly personable and Spencer isnât used to people with Y/Nâs personality being overtly kind to him. Heâll see how long it takes her to dismiss him like most people do. It doesnât annoy him like it used to, he expects it really. Especially when his own team and friends do it almost regularly.   Â
You are waiting patiently for his response with unwavering kind eyes.  Â
âInsomnia,â He settled on admitting to you, he gave you a tight lined frown. âI needed a new book; Iâve read through my catalog.â   Â
Your eyes light up, âThatâs my specialty! I mean, I make a mean latte, but my favorite part of this place is the books.â you whispered conspiratorially.   Â
âSo,â you come around from the back of the bar and put your hands on your hips, âWhat genre were you looking for? Or was it a specific book?â you ask him.   Â
âFantasy, preferably. Iâve read all of Tolkien and Gaimanâs works.â He tells you.   Â
You nod in understanding your eyes giving a quick look of him from head to toe, âYou look like a man whoâs read The Hobbit and American Gods .â You said, almost more so to herself.   Â
Spencer gives you a quizzical look, unsure if he should be insulted or not. You read his face and your own cheeks flush with embarrassment. Your hands start moving exaggeratedly as your voice pitches, âNot in a bad way! I promise, Iâm here for a well-read person! Not that you have to have read those two authors to be well read, I just-â You take a deep breath and stop yourself.   Â
âSorry, I just mean, you look like youâve probably read some of the most popular titles in that genre.â Your voice grows smaller, and your face is bright in a flush as you rush through your words, drawling them out in that voice that sounds like sugar. You bite the inside of your cheek forcing yourself to stop talking.   Â
Spencer chuckles and shakes his head, âI get it, youâre good.â He tells you reassuringly.   Â
You sigh in relief, pushing your hair out of your face nervously, âSorry, I really didnât mean anything by it. I just meant you probably want something different and not recommended every time you ask for fantasy.â   Â
Spencer just gives you a smile, âI appreciate it.â He shifts his weight on his crutches to awkwardly sip his latte.   Â
You usher him over to one of the comfortable chairs with a nice side table lamp that has beautiful green and red stained-glass roses on it.   Â
âHere sit, Iâll grab some recommendations, and you can let me know what you think.â You donât even give him a chance to rebuttal before youâre off and disappear into the stacks.   Â
The silence that followed her absence was overwhelmingly loud, except for the soft music playing from the speakers. Spencer takes his time drinking his latte and itâs delicious. Better than the place the BAU grabs coffee from, and much better than whatever was in their coffee pot at the office.   Â
You pop back out from the stacks within ten minutes holding at least five book options for him to sort through.   Â
âThese all have different sub-genres but are fantasy in nature. Let me know if any look good to you.â You hand them over to him happily. He notices you biting the inside of your cheek again, as you watch him look over the books.   Â
Youâre rocking on your feet, as you watch Spencer thumb through the books, reading the summaries keeping his face neutral. You start picking at your nails trying not to seem like a dog waiting for its owner. You should busy yourself with something else besides trying to gauge Spencerâs reaction to the books, but you canât help it.  Â
Spencer pauses on a book with a bright colorful cover that was in the middle of the stack. Itâs the only one he pauses on and your face lights up.   Â
âI loved Howlâs Moving Castle !â Your voice pitches up in enthusiasm. You start talking with your hands again, âItâs fun, and the cast of characters who, in a magical world, feel so relatable. The two leads also have great dialogue! I was genuinely laughing out loud.â Your face splits into a grin as you explain the book to Spencer without spoiling anything.   Â
You are so filled with joy as you talk about the book, it doesnât take him but a second of listening to you to know heâs sold. Heâs reading this, your genuine joy selling him on it. He doesnât have to look through the rest of the stack, though heâs sure youâve likely read all the books you offered him.  Â
âIâll take it.â He said, moving to stand up to purchase it at the counter.   Â
You move to stop him, âDonât worry about it! You can pay on your way out. You look like youâve been struggling with those crutches.â You tell him waving him back down to sit.   Â
âJust relax, drink and read. Itâs what the Midnight Owlâs for.â You chirp happily shooting him a triumphant look as you move to walk back to the counter.   Â
You go back to working on creating an order for books back at the checkout counter. You have the work desktop open back to the list of books you were cross referencing for prices. You go back and forth from looking at your handwritten list to researching prices from different distributors.   Â
The couple who was there earlier finally get up, waving goodbye to Y/N.   Â
âHave a great night yâall! See you next week.â You tell them with your own wave thatâs brief as you make the order.   Â
The only noise in the store is some shuffling and the music playing overhead and you humming along to it. Itâs a mix CD you burned a few years back and most of the songs are still your favorite. You keep meaning to make a new one, but you just havenât had time. Your eyes wander from your computer to check on your new customer reading in the corner. You donât want to hover, but you try to gauge if heâll be a regular or not. You hope so, he seemed nice enough.   Â
Spencer can feel her eyes on him occasionally, he can see her fidgeting behind the counter. Every other song he can spot her leaning out of the corner of his eye to look over to him. He tries to hide his grin; he knows that look well. Sheâs trying to see if heâs enjoying the book. Spencer tries to read at a normal pace, even though he can read twenty thousand words per minute, that defeats the purpose of him trying to get out of his apartment to just devour this book. Plus, he kind of enjoys watching the store clerk.  Â
Sheâs full of energy and he has no idea where it comes from, but itâs almost a nervous energy. Sheâs constantly moving, either fidgeting or walking through the stacks to check or tidy the books. Sheâs also passed in front of him a few times to check the cafe machines or even grab a pastry heâs sure has been there for too long, and she feels bad about selling it.   Â
Spencer stays there for a few hours; he really doesnât notice how long until the door opens and the bell chimes again.   Â
âMorning!â The new woman cheers sleepily.   Â
You wave at her, âMorning Josie. There are still a few pastries left from yesterday, but I put them in the back fridge for you.â  Â
The new woman, Josie, waved back, âThanks, Iâm going to prep for today.â   Â
Spencer finally looks at the time and realizes itâs five in the morning, he sighs standing up. He grabs his crutches and pushes himself toward the counter to pay for his book. If heâs lucky he could get an hour or two of a nap before work.   Â
He gently slides the book over to you and your whole face brightens, âHave you liked it so far?â you asked him.   Â
Spencer grins âItâs charming. You were right about the cast; itâs a great blend of characters that shouldnât fit as well as they do together.â   Â
You nod excitedly. âI donât know if youâve gotten to a certain part, but I wonât spoil it, I loved how they explain the magic that affects Sophie! It was a fun book.â  Â
Spencer hands over some cash to pay for his book. âIâve liked it so far. Iâll have to ask for another recommendation.â He tells you.   Â
If you were a dog, your ears would be pointed up and tail wagging, you cannot contain your pure joy.   Â
âAbsolutely! Anytime, itâs one of my favorite things.â You push your hair back and you look down at the table nervously pushing his book back toward him with his change.   Â
âIâm always happy to see a returning face.â You said looking up at him, your eyes sparkling. âIâm Y/N by the way, I donât know if I introduced myself.â  Â
Spencer takes the book and his change; you smile brilliantly at him, and he feels a little enchanted by the bookstore clerk. He returns it. âSpencer. It was nice to meet you.â   Â
He gives you a small wave before walking out, crutches pushing him forward.   Â
The one about Halloween   Â
You have decided that you do not care if itâs only September, you are decorating for Halloween. Maybe itâs that youâre festive or maybe itâs from growing up in a southern community that went all out for decorations, but you are determined that the Midnight Owl will be the place to be for October. Youâve also planned a few events for the spooky month for all ages.   Â
There are a few reading hours planned for children during the day, costume contests, and some trick or treat candy lined up to buy. Your shopping list was filling up quickly. For the nighttime events youâve gotten together with Josie to throw a movie night every Sunday night at eight in October. Youâve already planned a lineup of movies to play and popcorn to order. You still canât decide on having two movies or not, a family friendly one first and then a scary one. Sheâll figure it out.   Â
To say that you are bubbling with excitement is an understatement.   Â
You're in the middle of dragging out one of the boxes of decorations from the attic when the door chimes open.    Â
âWelcome in! Help yourself to shop or if you wait a few minutes, I can fix you a drink at the cafe!â You shout from behind the large box youâre carrying. Itâs not heavy, filled mostly with paper and plastic decorations. The box itself is just quite large, and it blocks your view when you walk.  Â
âWhat are you doing?â A soft chuckle passes through, and you recognize it immediately. Itâs your new favorite regular.   Â
You set the box down in a huff behind the counter and look at Spencer exasperatedly.  Â
âIf you must know, Iâm preparing for Halloween.â You said matter-of-factly.   Â
Spencerâs hazel eyes light up, the same way he gets when heâs about to tell you a long list of facts about something. You love it when he gets excited. Itâs contagious.  Â
âOh, please continue then. Itâs never too early for Halloween.â He said happily.  Â
You let out a burst of laughter and it echoes in the room, âThank you! Finally, someone who understands.â You tease him.  Â
Spencerâs been coming in almost every night since his first visit. Itâs only been a month, but you love talking to Spencer. Heâs full of endless information and he loves to read just as much, if not more, than you do.   Â
He has an unfair advantage though. He had admitted how quickly he could read to you in passing a few weeks ago and your jaw dropped. You didnât believe him at first.   Â
-Â Â Â
 âOkay, thatâs the fifth book youâve finished in like two days Spencer. Are you even actually reading them?â You had teased him, when he returned to the shelves looking through the selections.   Â
âOf course I do. I just happen to read twenty thousand words per minute.â He said easily running his fingers along the spines of the books as he pursues.   Â
You scoff, âYea right.â you rolled your eyes. âJust say you skim through them.â  Â
Spencer shakes his head, âIâm serious, I have an eidetic memory too.â he said.   Â
You blinked at him a few times in disbelief before just bursting into a fit of small giggles.  Â
âWow, I wish I could read that fast. Iâd get through my TBR so much faster!â you said impressed.   Â
Spencer pauses looking at you, trying to assess if you're trying to make fun of him or not. Your face is split into a wide grin, and he realizes you are intrigued by this little tidbit. You didn't think it was weird, that heâs weird.   Â
Spencer felt his face flush a bit, and he just shrugged it off. âItâs not a big deal.â   Â
âNo, itâs just a really cool fact about you.â You said, like it was obvious.   Â
Spencer mouth tighten into a fine line, and he shook his head, âThat would be a first.â he had mumbled under his breath.   Â
You didnât press him, but you did file away in the back of your mind his response for later. Clearly Spencer wasnât used to someone reacting positively to this tidbit about him.   Â
-Â Â Â
You look at Spencer as he stands there watching you. Heâs in his work clothes, which you're used to by now, but itâs the opposite of what he wore when they first met. Heâs in a purple button up shirt that heâs rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. His cardigan is hanging off his faded brown leather satchel sitting against his hip. Heâs leaning on his crutches as she assesses him.   Â
âCâmon,â you said waving for him to follow. âLetâs make something fall flavored to get rolling with the season.â You suggest a small smile tugging at your lips.   Â
Spencer just nods and follows you toward the cafe section.   Â
âAre you a fan of pumpkin flavors or do you prefer other autumn flavors?â You ask him as you walk around the counter to the coffee machines.  Â
The pickup counter for the cafe doubles as a normal place to sit and Spencer grabs a stool to sit in, leaning his crutches against the counter.  Â
âI only like my drinks sweet. Flavor isnât too important.â   Â
You hum in acknowledgement and get to work on making him a drink. âIâll just surprise you then.â   Â
Spencer brings out a few books heâs reading and places them on the table. While you make his drink you ask, âWhatâs your favorite book to read to get into the spooky spirit?â   Â
He perks up, âThereâs plenty of options, I think I prefer something classic like The Shinning or maybe even an old compilation of ghost stories. Those are always good.â he said passionately.   Â
âOoh! Iâm obsessed with the paranormal!â you gasp in excitement.  Â
Spencer feeds into the enthusiastic response, âDid you know there are a multitude of categories of the paranormal? Most people only associate it with ghosts or demons, but ufology and cryptozoology are also subcategories. Personally, as interesting as ghost or demon possession stories are, Iâm far more fascinated by cryptozoology and the creatures that different areas of the world claim to see and state they have proof of.â   Â
Spencer realizes heâs rambling and tries to cut himself off, but your eyes are wide as you actively lean against the counter giving him your rapt attention.   Â
You notice his abrupt stop and you tilt your head, âKeep going, you have my full attention! Iâm trying to get into the spooky spirit!â You drawl out, your rich accent seeping through.   Â
You turn to grab his drink and hand it to him. It's in a nice burnt orange colored mug, âItâs a maple chai latte. Felt like fall to me.â you said quietly, having a matching mug with him. You lean against the counter and bat your hand at his forearm.  Â
âCâmon tell me more!â you giggled.   Â
Spencer stared at you in awe for a moment, before he tried to hide his expression through drinking his latte.   Â
âGhost hunting became popular in the early 2000s, but itâs been around since the 1920âs and even before then there were popular ghost stories told throughout history! Humans have always been interested in the afterlife which is why weâre probably so fascinated by looking for proof of the afterlife.â  Â
You nod and sips from your own mug, âHave you ever watched those ghost hunting shows before?â you asked curiously.   Â
Spencer shook his head no. âI donât watch a lot of television.â   Â
You hum in thought, âYeah, that checks out. Well, theyâre super cheesy and trashy. Love them to be honest.â   Â
âWhich oneâs your favorite?â he asked, leaning closer against the bar.  Â
It felt like it was only the two of them in the bookstore. Inside their own bubble, the world moved slowly inside the confines of the Midnight Owl.   Â
âThis is gonna sound so awful!â you laughed lightly shaking your head, âThereâs a show called Ghost Adventures, and the main guy, Zak Bagans, heâs such a dick to the ghosts! He instigates all the time, and I mean, regardless of if ghosts are real, he goes in hot ! Not to mention he always throws his costar Aaron into the worst places! Itâs just insane, absolute trash.â you shake your head in disbelief.   Â
âBut you love it?â Spencer asked.   Â
You gave him a deadpan stare, âOh absolutely, itâs the best kind of quality trash.â  Â
You burst into a fit of giggles and Spencer couldnât help but find it contagious.   Â
âAaaaaaanyway~â You drag out, moving to grab your box of decorations.   Â
âWanna help me decide how to decorate?â you ask him, grabbing a pumpkin garland out of the bin and tossing it dramatically over your shoulders like a scarf.  Â
Spencer brushes his loose hair out of his face and nods. He may still be useless on crutches, but he could help... Kind of.   Â
You empty the containers of the bin on the counter where Spencerâs sitting and he quickly grabs his mug to lift it up to avoid being knocked over from the avalanche of orange and black. You smile at him apologetically before trying to dig out your favorite decorations.   Â
-Â Â Â
Spencerâs face is twisted in a look of frustration as he sits in the corner reading. He came in a while ago and besides his drink, he hasnât spoken much to you.   Â
Which isnât a bad thing, tonight was one of the busier nights. It was mid-October, and the festivities had been nonstop. Tonight was vampire night, which upon entering the building Spencer was already grimacing. There was a special drink deal on the board hanging above the cafe for anyone buying a vampire related book. Twilight , Dracula , Carmilla , Interview with a Vampire, just pick a title it was an option with its own fun themed cafe drink that was absolutely red.  Â
 It wasnât like you knew he had just finished working on a case that involved vampirism, but the odds werenât in his favor for finding an escape from the most recent case. Halloween season had its ups and downs he supposed.  Â
There was no way of explaining his slightly irritable mood. Spencer hadnât mentioned his work to you. You never asked, and he didnât feel like explaining that he spent most of his waking hours profiling serial killers. In the past it hasnât made the best openers in conversation. Itâs also nice to have this small corner of his life not be coated with unsubs, victims, and death. Itâs just his favorite bookstore.  Â
Spencer looked up to see you making more drinks, the cafe was popular tonight. Your chatting up another woman whoâs laughing at the joke you told her. The other woman is holding a book that Spencer is positive is a vampire novel.   Â
âAnd I have one raspberry mocha for a Carmilla lover!â your voice rang out and you handed over the drink to the customer.   Â
âCome back Sunday for our movie night, weâre playing Beetlejuice !â you said and waved goodbye to the customer.   Â
For eleven o'clock at night the shop was busy. Busting out drink after drink and ringing up books at the cafe register. It was your idea to do a deal with a themed book and drink combo, but you didnât expect to still be busy into the night. You hadnât even had a break in customers to say hello to your regulars.   Â
For business, this was great, for your own mental health, you were struggling. You just needed it to slow down enough to catch your breath. You should have scheduled someone else on shift with you, but you werenât about to call for help now. It was your mistake, and you'll live with it. You made a note to make sure someone is on shift with you tomorrow night for a different themed deal.   Â
After another round of five more customers there is finally a break. You sighed leaning against the counter and took a grounding breath. You donât move for a minute, just catch your breath before you look up and catch Spencer from his chair looking at you. You shot him a shaky smile that is supposed to be reassuring but actually looks like youâre about to cry. Spencerâs eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he decides to get up and come over. The cafe was still bustling but no one was sitting at the counter. Spencer shoves his book into his bag, grabs his crutches and hobbles to the counter.   Â
âBusy night?â he asked, already knowing the answer but trying to see how you were doing.   Â
Your eyes look up into his hazel ones and you look worn. âIn my head, the whole vampire boom and Halloween themed event seemed like a good idea. For profit, absolutely. For my sanity? I never wanna see another Twilight shirt or raspberry flavored item for a while.â you said in a groan placing your head against the counter.   Â
âWhat is Twilight ?â Spencer asked.   Â
He doesnât know anything except that it has something to do with vampires and its popular enough that the victims of the latest case were also obsessed with it. He knows itâs a book, but besides that, he has no clue.   Â
You slowly move to look up and blink at him for a moment, trying to deduce if heâs being serious or not. âVery funny Spencer, I know youâre not asking what the pop culture phenomenon Twilight franchise is.â you replied with a laugh.  Â
After a moment of looking at Spencerâs confused face you realize he was in fact, unaware. Your eyes widen.   Â
âWait, wait, wait, you seriously donât know? I mean itâs like everywhere. The second movie is coming out in less than a month. I donât think Iâve sold so many copies of a book in my life. I canât keep New Moon on the shelves.â you said almost exasperatedly, but the smile on your face gave it away. If Spencer didnât know any better, heâd think you were getting a kick out of it. He knows by now you wonât make fun of him; you're elated for a completely different reason.  Â
âI just know itâs popular and about vampires.â He replied with a shrug.   Â
âOh my god, I get to explain Twilight to you.â your face splits into a massive grin, your energy returning quickly.   Â
Spencer quirks an eyebrow, âI thought you were over hearing Twilight ?â   Â
âNo, no, no, no! This is totally different!â you're almost vibrating with excitement. âIâve read all the books, Iâm gonna let you borrow my copy next time youâre in! Actually, Iâll give you the first two since you read so fast!â her words are running together in a run on sentence sheâs talking too fast. Your accent came through stronger than ever with your eagerness.   Â
He doesnât have it in him to turn you down, you're just so thrilled. Spencer just finds himself too caught up in your joy to tell you he had no interest in the book series. He finds himself agreeing to borrow your copies.   Â
âI can buy them if you need me too. I donât want to take your copies unless, youâre sure.â He offers.  Â
You shake your head, âI canât keep them on the shelves long enough for you to buy them. Just go ahead and take my copies.â You move to make Spencer a drink that isnât one of the red blood themed drinks on the menu. âItâs not a big deal. I do have a lot of sticky notes in there though, my friends and I read it for a book club night.â   Â
He sits up a little straighter, suddenly becoming more interested in reading these books. Not because of their pop culture relevance but because he could read your commentary. There was something special about that, sharing a book with annotations.  Â
âIâll bring one too.â He finds himself offering before he can think.   Â
Your face glows as you hand him a chai latte. âIâd love that! Itâll take me a bit longer to read than you will.â you joked lightly.  Â
âItâll be worth it; I havenât had someone to talk to about books since my mom.â He said looking down at his drink, his eyes growing distant for a split second.  Â
You open your mouth to ask but quickly shut it, biting the inside of your cheek to stop. You might be nosy, but you knew when to not pry. It was how Spencer seemed to be somewhere else in his mind, if only for a moment. It was enough to know that you had no business asking him to open a can of worms he maybe didnât want to. Instead, you turn around to grab a set of fake vampire teeth to put in your mouth. They were small and awkward and not cute by any means, but if you could get him to smile, that was all you needed.   Â
You patiently wait for Spencer to look back up at as you rest your head in your palm and keep your face neutral. The fake teeth are making your mouth uncomfortable, but youâll survive.   Â
When Spencer does look up and sees you dramatically batting your eyes at him and grinning madly with childrenâs plastic vampire teeth, he canât control the bubbling laughter that takes over him. His shoulders shake with the full body movement, and he shakes his head in disbelief.  Â
âWhere did you get those?â he asked through his fit.   Â
You turn to spit them out into the trash, your mouth disgustingly filled with drool from the uncomfortable teeth. You cover your mouth and grab your own drink to flush out your mouth.   Â
âThey were a gimmick for the themed drinks tonight.â you finally replied. âGood for a quick joke not for actually wearing.â you said groaning.  Â
âPretty sure they are made for childrenâs mouths.â Spencer teased.  Â
You shrug and sigh, âWell, being a vampire for Halloween is off the list of options this year. I donât want to wear those for a whole night.â  Â
âProbably better off.â He said trying to not immediately focus on Dante and his manager coercing a mentally ill young woman into committing vampire ritual like murders.  Â
âYeah, the whole thing with that celebrity kinda left a sour taste in my mouth.â you mentioned grimacing.   Â
âDante?â Spencer asked for clarification.  Â
âYeah, it was all over the tabloids,â you pointed to the magazine stand by the main register. âGot them in this morning.â   Â
Spencer tries to not make a face as he sees them, âYou read that?â   Â
You let out a loud snort of a laugh. âNo, no, no, oh god!â you stand up a little straighter and push your hair back. âI donât trust a TMZ article as far as I can throw it, but those murders are real. Making it look like vampire bites...â you shudder, âthat just skeeves me out.â   Â
Spencer drinks from his mug but nods his head in agreement. He didnât peg you to believe paparazzi reports. The magazine articles would be wrong anyway; they didnât make the arrest until that afternoon. It was refreshing to see someone not believe everything they read.   Â
âIf vampires are off your list, what other costumes are you thinking about?â he asked, trying to change the subject.   Â
âNo idea.â you groan out in irritation. âI usually do group costumes with my friends but, kind of hard when they live 600 miles away.â   Â
âSouth?â he asked.   Â
You snorted with a roll of your eyes, âAw geez what gave it away?â you tease with an exaggerated drawl, making your accent thicker than normal.   Â
Spencer shakes his head in amusement. âVery funny. Why move here?â   Â
You tense up, avoiding his doe eyes. You look down biting your lip nervously. âItâs uh, a long story.â you said quietly.   Â
Your body almost looks like itâs trying to shrink in on itself. Spencer doesnât need to be a profiler to understand your body language. Whatever it is, youâre not ready to share it.   Â
Instead, he tries to be reassuring that heâs not prying for information.   Â
âIâm a transplant too. I grew up in Las Vegas.â   Â
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, âIâve never been, is it really just the strip filled with casinos or are there nice pockets of peace and no tourists?â you asked.  Â
You sigh, âIt is a lot of tourists. Thereâs plenty of local places, ones that are only there if youâve grown up knowing how to get to them.â he told you in a quiet voice, almost conspiratorially.   Â
Your mouth splits into a smile that reaches your eyes, âSo youâll be my tour guide, right?â  Â
Spencerâs face heats up from the suggestion and your giggles fill the room.   Â
âIâm just teasing you,â you pat his arm reassuringly before going to grab a pastry from the front display.   Â
âCome on and split this last cookie with me, I know I'm not going to sell it.â you said grabbing a chocolate chip cookie and warming it up before cutting it in half.   Â
Spencerâs face is still tinted pink but the soft cookie and the way it melts when he bites into it and seeing you look happier than earlier, is enough for him. A small corner of peace in the world inside the Midnight Owl.  Â
The one after Haleyâs funeral   Â
Youâre sitting at the checkout counter reading the book Spencer most recently traded with you. Itâs one of the Sherlock Homles books, which you had admittedly never read before. You've watched plenty of films and shows but reading it never really crossed your mind.   Â
You joked about making Spencer watch The Great Mouse Detective when you finished so you could explain your first introduction to Sherlock Holmes. He had no idea what you were talking about, which you found charming in its own way. You loved introducing Spencer to the pop culture media that just filled your brain. Even if it was trashy. You had promised him The Great Mouse Detective was anything but trash. A childhood classic for sure.   Â
You take your time reading the books Spencer lent. He started leaving small post-it notes for you in them with commentary and questions. It was like you two had your own language, and it was books. Even if he let you borrow a genre you had no interest in, you suddenly were invested. It was a way to get to know him, and in turn he took your books happily. Your annotations were way more scattered brained and filled with tiny commentary to yourself.   Â
You saw Spencer reading one of the books you let him borrow and he laughed, loudly, in the middle of the store. You both flushed in embarrassment. It was a busy night, filled with university students studying late at night, so it was mostly silent besides the music that was playing through the speakers. You knew you had written something insulting about one of the characters in that sticky note. You were creative with your insults, and you had completely forgotten to take that out before giving it to him. Spencer teased you about your comments on Gale from The Hunger Games for the rest of that night.   Â
Youâre in the middle of The Hounds of Baskerville when the door opens. You look up to greet them but your face falls when you see Spencer, he looks terrible. You slowly close the book and move to walk toward him.  Â
His eyes were hollow and the normal dark circles under his eyes seemed impossibly darker than usual. Spencer just seemed sad and defeated. You hadnât seen this side of him and all you wanted to do was press your thumb to his forehead and smooth out the furrow of his brow. To get him to relax, if only for a moment.  Â
âHey honey, whatâs wrong?â you asked gently walking toward him. You reach out to rub his arms affectionately, âWhat happened?â   Â
Your voice is soft and sweet, the way you said honey with your southern drawl feels like a hug. Spencer just needed a minute. One second of peace. The image of Haleyâs body unmoving with blood still fresh behind his eyes.   Â
âItâs been a long week.â His voice comes out a little rough. Heâs haggard from the flight from Nashville and he really didnât want to go home.   Â
The only comforting place he could think of immediately was the Midnight Owl, of you. Your warm voice and comforting drinks were the only things he could stand to be around.   Â
Your face softens at his words, and you tilt your head, âDo you need a hug?â you asked softly.   Â
Thereâs a shaky sigh that escapes Spencerâs mouth and he just nods his head, unable to form the words.   Â
You pull him into your embrace gently, your arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You rub soothing circles into his back and Spencer holds onto your waist. Your body radiates heat and it's comforting as he shoves his face into your shoulder. You smell like vanilla, cloves, and parchment paper and his whole body relaxes into you. You hold onto him until Spencer pulls away, not wanting him to feel like he was a burden. The store was empty anyway, it's been a slow night.  Â
He takes a deep breath before peeling himself off. He moves his hands to hold your arms so heâs supporting himself. Your eyes soften as you look him over, her hand coming up to cup his face.   Â
âYou donât have to talk about if you donât want to, but Iâve been told Iâm a great listener.â You whisper softly.   Â
Spencer relaxes against your touch and doesnât say much, just hums in response. He eventually finds his words, âMy friends wife died recently, and it just, it was a shock.â   Â
He doesnât want to get into how Haley died. That his job makes him and his coworkers targets. The people they love. George Foyet died at Hotchâs hands for killing Haley and attempting to kill Jack. Spencer watched Hotchâs face crumble, fall and lose what he loved the most. He knew Hotch didnât want to divorce Haley, he loved her and his son with his whole heart.   Â
That love had cost him Haleyâs life.  Â
âOh hun,â your voice brings him back, âIâm so sorry.â   Â
He shakes his head, âIâll be fine. Iâm just processing it.â   Â
âYou donât have to justify yourself to me, youâre allowed to process and grieve, especially if you knew her.â you tell him firmly. âCâmon, go sit down and Iâm gonna make a delicious warm drink and we can just relax alright?â   Â
Spencer gives a tiny, tight smile and lets you grab his hand to pull him to one of the nicer chairs. He sets his cane against the arm rest and is floored by how easy everything is with you. Â
You donât push or pry for information, let him ramble, and Spencer doesnât think heâs had a real friend outside of the BAU in a long time, much less someone his age. As much as he loves his team, there are times where they donât understand him. Itâs a lot easier to be himself with you. Maybe itâs because you donât know what heâs doing most of his days, and he could argue with himself that you donât know him. Almost 90% of his life is the BAU, and who is he if he isnât Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI agent in the Behavioral Analyst Unit? A small part of him hopes he could be the person he becomes when he enters the Midnight Owl. Â Â Â
Heâs too lost in his thoughts to notice you walking over with two steaming mugs.   Â
âHere, itâs just tea but I think you need a relaxing drink. No caffeine.â you said with a sweet tone looking him over.   Â
You sit on the arm rest of the chair cradling your own mug. âCan I try something?â you ask him.   Â
Spencer drinks from his mug, but he mutters an agreement under his breath.   Â
âLean back fully in the chair.â you instructed.  Â
He does as heâs told, he lowers his hands to his lap, mug still warmly pressed into his hands. Spencer isnât sure what youâre trying to do until your hands are running through his hair, feather light. Youâre not massaging his scalp, just the lightest of touches as you card your fingers through his long hair. Spencerâs eyes close and he almost moans from how the tension leaves his body immediately.   Â
You let out a tiny snort but continue the motions.   Â
âMy momma used to do this when I was little.â you whisper to him, keeping a low voice.  Â
âI would be asleep in an instant.â you emphasized with a quiet snap of your fingers.  Â
Spencerâs eyes flutter open to look up at you, his big doe eyes looking up to see your soft features be highlighted in the warm glow of the lamps. You look down at him and tilt your head.   Â
âI might pass out like this.â he murmured in a low voice.  Â
âYou can if you want. Promise I wonât let anyone bother you... not that anyoneâs coming in anytime soon.â You drawl out looking around at the empty shop.   Â
âJust a quick nap, twenty minutes.â he told you, voice already fading and his eyes growing heavy.   Â
You donât respond to him, just continue stroking his hair until he falls asleep. He felt the warm mug leave his hands and he heard ceramic clank onto the wooded side table next to him.  Â
You watch Spencer sleep, giving him much longer than twenty minutes. His dark circles told enough; he needed this nap more than he was letting on. It takes less than five minutes for Spencer to pass out. His body relaxed into the chair with all tension leaving his body. You slow down your movements until you feel safe enough to stop. His small snore a sign he was asleep.   Â
You moved to stand and went back to your duties, which wasnât anything more than inventory tonight. Mondays were always slow.  Â
You moved about the bookshop, filing away books, crossing off things on your checklist, and beside the few customers that came in for less than twenty minutes each, the night was quiet. Enough so that you let Spencer sleep much longer than twenty minutes.   Â
Spencer sleeps peacefully for most of the night. You check on him occasionally, and besides the few snores, heâs sound asleep.   Â
Around four in the morning he stirs awake, blinking blearily and looks around the store. You hear him and poke your head out from behind a shelf.   Â
âGood morning sunshine!â you teased in a chipper tone.   Â
Spencer looks at you confused before looking down at his watch. âWhy didnât you wake me up?â he asked, tone not accusing, just confused.   Â
You shrug and make your way over to him, âYou looked like you needed the sleep.â   Â
You gently reach your hand up to smooth the furrow of his brow. âYouâll die young from all that stress youâre carrying on your shoulders.â You tell him softly. The way youâre gently touching his forehead is like youâre trying to erase the stress and pressure.   Â
Spencer sighs into the light touch, âFor sleeping on a chair, it was pretty peaceful.â he murmurs.   Â
You snort in amusement. âWell, at least I know theyâre comfy.â   Â
âI sleep on planes frequently, so this is much better.â he said.  Â
âTravel a lot for work?â you asked.  Â
Spencer just nods. Not wanting to explore too deep into his job. The job that was leaving him sleepless most nights.  Â
âDo you feel any better?â you ask quietly.   Â
He nods solemnly. âBetter than when I arrived.â he said with a shrug.   Â
You frown but donât press, you push his hair back again giving him a reassuring smile.   Â
âIâm a good listener if you ever need to talk. Promise.â You hold out your pinky finger in the childish gesture of a pinky promise.   Â
Spencer finds himself smiling, finding it charming. Regardless of his problem with germs, it doesnât feel so intense with you. Youâre not a stranger anymore. He hooks his pinky with yours.   Â
âNot now.â He whispers. âBut someday...â  Â
âSomeday.â you reaffirm.  Â
The one about family   Â
Spencerâs surprised to see that youâre not working one random night in November. He knows that, of course, You canât possibly be working every single night he comes in. It just throws him off when he doesnât see you immediately. The sunshine woman behind the bar making him a new sickly-sweet coffee to try. Youâve only ever missed one day max two, so he doesnât think much of it. Just a blip on his night.  Â
One night without you suddenly turns into half a week. Every day Spencer walks in and itâs not your bright bubbly voice greeting him. Itâs one of the handful of people who work the late-night shift. They arenât strangers, Spencerâs ran into a couple of them occasionally. So, when Spencer comes into the bookstore to see, yet again, Robert, manning the front desk lazily flipping through a magazine, his mild frustration turns to worry. You've been gone for four days and none of your coworkers seem to know why.  Â
What if youâre sick? What if something happened to you? Did you take a vacation? What if youâre in danger?   Â
The thoughts consume Spencer so much he almost calls Garcia to track you down. Or at least give him your address to check on you. He pulls himself together and realizes that it would be a bad idea and an invasion of your privacy. Heâll just have to wait it out.  Â
Spencer does wait, mostly because heâs forced too. The BAU never truly stops working.  Â
When he finally sees you again itâs near the tail end of November and way too close to Thanksgiving for his liking. He feels like you've been gone for ages, but itâs only been two weeks. The door chimes behind him as he walks in, heâs expecting to see your eyes light up with a smile on your flushed pink cheeks. The way youâve always greeted him.   Â
Instead, he sees a side of you that heâs not used to at all. You look tired, exhausted. The dark circles under your eyes could compete against his natural ones. Youâre wearing glasses which heâs never seen on you before. Her hair is haphazardly tied up, and You're in a large well-worn sweater that reads, âRead Banned Booksâ. He doesnât think you've slept much, if at all, since he last saw you.   Â
You look like a zombie, barely functioning.  Â
You donât even register Spencer enter; you're standing at the checkout counter finishing a transaction with a customer. You're swaying on your feet the whole time.   Â
Spencer lets you finish the interaction before coming over to the counter, concern clear on his face.  Â
âY/N?â He says your name softly as he approaches. Â Â Â
Your eyes fly up to him and widen a little in surprise, your body reacts with a small flinch. âOh god Spencer!â You give a soft laugh, your hand coming up to clutch your chest, âYou scared me! I didnât hear you come in.â you try to calm yourself down.  Â
Your smile doesnât reach your eyes and Spencer can tell. It doesnât take a profiler to see youâre not yourself. Her eyes are only half open, your hands shaking from what he can only assume is the obscene amount of caffeine you probably have in your system. Everything just seems muted, not the bright colors he used to see you framed in.  Â
âAre you feeling okay? Youâve been gone for a while.â he prompts, trying to get something out of you. A clue to what might have happened. Anything.  Â
You shake your head, âIâm fine, everythingâs fine.â You said it a little too quickly. Â Â Â
Spencer doesnât buy it, but heâs kept enough secrets to himself to know he probably shouldnât go looking into friendsâ private lives. Some things he knows heâd rather keep to himself... but seeing you like this, he wants to help. Â Â Â
You avoid his eyes and start to play with your hands on the counter. âI-â you open your mouth but promptly shut it again. You bite your cheek with a frown plastered on your face. Â Â Â
âSorry, itâs nothing. It doesnât matter.â you said quickly before turning to grab some books from behind the desk to busy yourself with. Â Â Â
You don't want to talk about or think about it. Itâs been a long two weeks, and you just need some normalcy. Something that you know you can do and enjoy. Â Â Â
You feel Spencerâs eyes burning into you. You try to keep your usual high energy, you truly do. Everything has been so rough this month; you just need a break. The bookstore was your one solace. The Midnight Owl wasnât just a job, it was your home. Your safe haven.  Â
You didnât want to bring your real life here, not when sometimes your only highlight is seeing Spencer and sharing books back and forth. If he starts asking about your life outside the four walls of your shop, you donât know if you can hold yourself together. Not today. Â Â Â
âY/N,â he opens his mouth trying to get your attention again. Â Â Â
âReally Spencer, itâs fine, Iâm fine!â you tell him, a short tone to your voice.   Â
You spin on your heels to walk somewhere, anywhere, else. âYou know I have your book actually, let me return it. I left some notes in there.â You make it five or six steps before you falter and sways again. Spencer reaches out to grab and steady you. Â
âForget the book, you donât look fine.â He makes you face him. âYou look exhausted.â He chastises you. Â Â Â
You deflate immediately and let Spencer guide you to a chair. He gently sets you down and he pries the book out of your hand and places it on the side table.   Â
âSorry, you donât have to take care of me.â you murmur feebly swatting him away. âI just...â You take a deep breath. âI had to take dad to the hospital on Tuesday and itâs just been downhill all week...â you admit timidly. You pushed your glasses up to your hairline and pressed the heels of your palm to your eyes. Â Â Â
âI havenât gotten much sleep.â you admit. Â Â Â
âYouâve run yourself ragged.â Spencer lowers himself to be eye level with you. âIs he home now?â he asks gently.  Â
âNo, theyâre keeping him one more night.â you said with a heavy sigh. Â Â Â
Your arms fell in between your knees, and you lean your head back exhausted. âItâs just been hard this past year...â your voice is small and lingers with sadness. Â Â Â
âDo you want to talk about it?â he asked hesitantly. Â Â Â
Spencer maybe doesnât like talking about his hardships, but heâll listen to yours if you let him. He wants to desperately ease your mind, see you smile. Â Â Â
You look up at him, eyes wide as you assess him. âI donât want to put my problems on you Spencer.â you give a tight smile. âIâll figure it out.â  Â
Spencer reaches out to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. âTalking about it doesnât mean that youâre inconveniencing me. I'm just worried.â  Â
You sigh, already feeling him chip away at you. You didnât stand a chance against his big doe eyes looking at you like you were fragile. Â Â Â
You take a deep breath before answering him, âMy dad has ALS, he was diagnosed a few years ago... Iâve been taking care of him.â you admit. Â Â Â
âWhere we were, the doctors just werenât cutting it. So, I did some research and of course there were stellar doctors in DC... plus my baby sister came here for university so I just thought... maybe it would be easier. On all of us.â The tone of your voice gives your worry away. Â Â Â
âAnyway, he just, he had an accident and fell down the other day. His legs are finally giving out and heâs being so stubborn about needing a wheelchair.â Your voice shakes and you close your eyes.   Â
âItâs been a long week.â you finally admit looking up at Spencer with watery eyes. Â Â Â
Spencer understands. Heâs spent most of his life taking care of his mom because of her own illness. While your dad is suffering from something different, he understands. Probably more than you realize. Â Â Â
âI get it, I do.â he said. You go to retort, but he cuts you off. âI took care of my mom for a long time. She...â He pauses looking at you, debating for a moment on if he should tell you. Â Â Â
âMy mom has schizophrenia, and I committed her when I was eighteen.â he tells you with a tight frown.  Â
âItâs hard to take care of your parents, especially when itâs their job to take care of us.â He tells you sincerely.  Â
You have tears pricking your eyes, âOh Spencer, Iâm so sorry.â  Â
He shakes his head, âIâm telling you this because I understand. I promise I do, itâs not easy.â Â Â Â
You take a shaky breath; your heart feels like itâs a thousand pounds. âDoes it ever get easier?â you ask softly. Â Â Â
Spencer squeezes your hand, âNo, it doesnât. There are happy moments though. Moments where you know youâre doing the right thing, even if itâs difficult.â Â Â Â
You sniffle and wipes your face, âThanks, I uh, I needed that.â you said with a small smile. Â Â Â
-Â Â Â
Itâs getting closer to Christmas. The bookstore is decorated and busier than ever. Thereâs a handful of special events but between people coming in to buy presents and university students staying all night to study for finals, you have your hands full.   Â
Thereâs a second staff member working nights with you this month until the holiday break starts for the store. You and Josie were adamant about closing the bookstore between Christmas Eve and New Years. If someone needed a book that badly they could go to a big box store. Â Â Â
What you really donât need right now is your baby sister coming to your place of work and harassing you about Christmas and your dad. Â Â Â
âBridget, I donât have time to discuss this with you right now!â you hiss out at your younger sister. âYou didnât spend Thanksgiving with us and daddy really wants you to come home just for Christmas.â you chastised your sister with a frown. Â Â Â
You have a pause in customers for the moment, but you know that the large study group is coming in half an hour like they have been for the past week and half. Â Â Â
âThatâs not fair Magpie!â your sister groans in frustration using your nickname to try and be sweet. âI made these plans months ago; Mark really wants me to spend Christmas with his family.â Â
You cross your arms and look at your sister sadly. âBirdie, we donât know how much time we get with dad-â you start but is cut off. Â Â Â
Bridgetâs face scrunches in disgust at her sisterâs words and huffs exaggeratedly. âGood god Y/N! Heâs not gonna die over the holidays, stop fucking guilt trippinâ me over every decision because it doesnât revolve around dad!â Â Â Â
Bridgetâs annoyed and you can tell, she always tries to skirt around her problems when sheâs frustrated. She thinks youâre trying to back her into a corner. Â Â Â
âBirdie-â Â Â Â
âItâs Bri. I go by Bri here.â Her sister crosses her arms and looks at you in annoyance. Â Â Â
âLook, I know dadâs sick, Iâm not stupid.â Â Â Â
âI didnât say you were Bridget.â you said defensively.  Â
She rolled her eyes, âI didnât decide to pack everything up and move dad out to DC. Just because youâre closer doesnât mean Iâm going to stop living my life to take care of daddy.â Â Â Â
You bite your tongue. Trying to not fight with your sister, but your irritation rises in your throat. Burning words of resentment linger in your mind. Â Â Â
âFine. Would you please just call him on Christmas and please come by after the New Year. He really misses you.â You try to plead with your sister. Â Â Â
Bridget just waves goodbye as she walks out the door, âWill do. See you next year Magpie.â she almost ran out the door. Â Â Â
You deflate, your shoulders dropping. You almost donât hear Spencer walking up next to you holding a gift bag in his hands. Â Â Â
âIÂ didnât know your sister visited you.â he said. Â Â Â
You look up at him and smile at your favorite regular. Your friend. You think theyâre allowed to call each other friends now. He already saw you cry and that was a big step. Â Â Â
You shake your head, âYeah, weâre not as close as we used to be.â you mumble under your breath. Â Â Â
Spencer nods his head. He never had any siblings, but he can read your face well enough to know youâre not thrilled. Â
âStill close enough for nicknames, Magpie?â he asked, biting back a smile. Â
âChildhood nicknames, Birdie and Magpie. Cause we were birds of a feather.â You said looking down at your hands sadly. Â
âItâs fine.â you shrug it off and give a smile that doesnât reach your eyes. You lean against the counter. âWhatâs that you got there?â you asked, changing the subject. Â Â Â
Youâre pointing to the gift bag in his hands. You tilt your head curiously. Â Â Â
âOh, this is,â he flushes for a split second rushing his words out. âThis is for you. I know youâre closing for the holiday soon and I donât know if Iâll have a last-minute work call or not so., I brought your Christmas present.â He fumbled through his words quickly, but he held out the small bag.  Â
You light up immediately. Your eyes shimmer with excitement. âAww, Spencer! This is so kind thank you!â Â Â Â
You bend down below the counter and grabs your own item, âI actually have your present too.â you said shyly, handing him a wrapped package. Â Â Â
Spencer is quiet as he gently takes the gift from you, a tiny smile on his face. He brushes his hair back out of his face as he looks at you softly. Â Â Â
âThis is so kind thank you.â Â Â Â
Giddy giggles consume you, and you hold the gift bag. âShould we open them together or do you want to wait until Christmas?â you asked. Â Â Â
Spencer shakes his head, âNo no, you can open it now.â He reassures you. Â Â Â
You smile, biting the inside of your cheek and open your present. Under the tissue paper is a sweater thatâs twice your size and itâs the softest thing youâve ever felt. You pull it out and itâs a purple crocheted sweater with a beautiful sun right in the middle. It reminds you of one of the tapestries from the late nineties that would have been in Practical Magic or something like that.   Â
âOh Spencer, this is perfect.â you say quietly holding it tightly to your chest. âThank you so much, I love it.â Â Â Â
You pull off your cardigan and immediately shove the sweater on. You nestle yourself inside it and grins widely, âIt matches your scarf!â Â Â Â
Spencer just takes in your joy and how you light up, and heâs happy he could make you feel better. Â Â Â
âWell go on open yours!â you said excitedly pushing your wrapped package toward him.  Â
Spencer gently peels back the wrapping paper and uncovers a white box; he opens the box to find a ceramic mug. It's custom made, with some uneven texture. Itâs glazed a speckled purple and wrapped around the bottom is a quote, âSome books are so familiar that reading them is being home again.â -L.M. Alcott   Â
Spencer is quietly inspecting it, and you start explaining. You push your hair behind your ear, âI uh, I took a pottery class in my free time this past year. Since youâre here so much I thought you would like your own mug.â you said hesitantly. Â Â Â
Spencerâs eyes widen, âYou, you made this? For me?â he asked in surprise.   Â
You nod, looking down at the counter nervously. Â Â Â
Spencer makes his way around the counter and pulls you into a tight hug. âThis is the best gift anyone's ever gotten me.â he whispers to you. Â Â Â
You return the hug holding Spencer tightly. You press your face into his shoulder, and you feel infinitely better than how your night started.  Â
When they pull apart you play with the edge of the new sweaters' sleeves, a small blush on your face. âDo you go visit your mama for holidays?â you asked him. Â Â Â
Spencer shakes his head, âNot all the time. My job doesnât usually care if itâs a holiday or not.â he tells you. Â Â Â
You nod, âWell, I hope you get to this year Spencer. Iâm sure sheâd love to see you.â Â Â Â
He takes a shaky breath and nods in agreement. âYeah, Iâll try to see her soon.â Â Â Â
You nudge him lightly, trying to keep the tone light, âWant a fresh drink in your new mug?â you tease.  Â
Spencer chuckles but nods his head. âIâd love that.â Â Â Â
âWeâre about to test run if Iâm actually good at pottery. So, fingers crossed it doesnât leak.â you joke moving to the cafe counter at the back of the store.  Â
Spencer watches you walk away, with a skip in your step like the first night he came to the Midnight Owl. The way you easily glide through the crowd and chatter with customers and giggling. Â Â Â
You shine bright like a star, like the sun. Â
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#x reader
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What if someone who had a massive crush on rafe started dressing and acting like weird girl reader in an attempt to get his attention
I think she wouldnât live to see another day !! Just kidding⌠but it wouldnât be good for her⌠Possessiveness, talks of weird!girl getting bullied in the past, use of a butterfly knife (no breaking skin), Barry banter, weird!girl gets just a lil crazy here, sheâs at her limit what can I say !! 18+MNDI!!
You donât who the fuck this bitch thinks she is, who she thinks you are but she is about to get a reality check real quick. Youâve been watching it slowly progress. First you saw her at one of Topperâs parties wearing fuzzy demonias and a frilly mini dress and it just got worse from there. This girl whose name you havenât thought of in years, Brittany. She treated you like shit all through school and she spent that same amount of time begging for Rafeâs attention. Which he never gave to her. And now? Sheâs dressing like you and posting pictures on her Instagram story of her in the middle of the woods. You even saw she had a sonny angel on the back of her phone in one of her selfies. Just like you. Sheâs been showing up at parties more and sheâs somehow always at the country club when you and Rafe are. Sheâs never caught him alone though. Not until now.
You decided to stay home tonight, Rafe was going to a party with Barry and a few of their other dealer friends and you were tired. But when you got a text from Barry that you needed to come rescue your man because some girl wouldnât leave him alone no matter how many times he turned her down? You knew who he meant and you were out of bed putting on a quick beat and a cute little outfit immediately. You called an uber and were there in less than an hour.
When you rolled up there was music blaring and lights flashing from inside so you pushed your way through the sweaty, weed and beer smelling living room while scanning for your man in every corner. It didnât take you long to find him. Heâs sitting out on the back porch on a bench, counting money on the small table in front of him, surrounded by his guys, and fucking Brittney. Barry is in between her and Rafe but she might as well be in his fucking lap from the way sheâs leaning over him to fawn over your fiancĂŠ. Sheâs wearing a little lace corset top and a black mini skirt which wouldnât be that abnormal for a basic kook bitch like her but sheâs wearing the same platform boots you had on last week, a studded choker, and a chunky belt to match. It makes you see red immediately.
You stomp out the back door and across the patio with tunnel vision. Your white platform Mary Janeâs clank against the ground and your little pink mini skirt swishes with every step. You walk right over to Rafe and plop down in his lap, interrupting his money counting.
âHey, baby.â You throw your arms around his neck and smile at him sweetly, which he returns.
âHey princess. Thought you werenât coming. Just gimme a second to finish this up and Iâm all yours, Kay?â Rafe kisses your cheek all sloppy before going back to business. Which you donât mind because you have some business of your own to take care of. You turn sideways in his lap to see Brittany glaring over at you with her mouth agape, like sheâs shocked to see you sitting in your manâs lap.
âOh, hey, Brit! Fancy seeing you here! I didnât know you were seeing Barry!â You smile at her sickly sweet, gesturing to the way she was splayed across his thighs. âAnd I love the outfit, didnât know dressing like a weird little fucking freak was in now!!â You giggle as you throw her words that sheâs spewed to you a thousand times back in her face.
âWhat? Iâm not seeing him. What are you talking about?â She scoffs and rolls her eyes, throwing her thin mousy brown hair over her shoulder. âAnd this? This is what everyone is wearing now. Do you live under a rock?â
âNo, I donât. I live in my fiancĂŠs big, nice house were he fucks me so good everyday.â Her blue eyes that she sloppily applied a large eyeliner wing to blow wide as her hand flies to her chest like you just hit her. It just makes you smirk as you lean across Barryâs lap so you can get in her face.
âWell, we will see how long it takes him to get bored of you. He is Rafe Cameron after all, you never know when someone shiny and new is gonna come around.â She says it quiet enough that you donât think in his state of focus Rafe hears her but Barry suddenly looks very scared for her. And he should. You peer over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking your way and pull the butterfly knife tucked in your garter from its place all in one move. You stare into her eyes as you flick it open, finally putting those tricks you spent hours in your room teaching yourself to good use. You lace your finger into the loop of her cheap, wannabe choker and pull her face close to yours, holding the blade to her throat.
âShiny and new?â You chuckle darkly. âHoney, youâre so fucking ran through Rafe is probably the only man on this island that hasnât touched you. And he never will. So ditch the act. Go back to your lulu lemonâs and stay the fuck away from my man. Before I make you.â Your voice is calm and collected but the smile on your face and the underlying tone of it, mixed with the knife you have to her throat has her shaking with fear.
âYouâre fucking crazy.â She gasps and tries to pull away but you only pull her closer, not enough to cut her, but enough to threaten it. You lean in so your lips brush her ear, letting out a manic giggle.
âYou donât even know the half of it. Stay away from him. Or youâre fucked.â You give her a condescending sticky lip gloss kiss on the cheek before pulling back and flicking your knife shut. She gasps and grabs her throat like you actually slit it and it sends you into a fit of laughter as she runs off with tears streaming down her face.
âDamn girl, I didnât know you played like that.â Barry chuckles and he looks over at you with a proud smile.
âYo, are you flirting with my girl again?â You look over your shoulder to see Rafe tucking a wad of cash into his pocket before you feel his arm lace around your waist so he can pull you against his chest.
âNah, I mean, maybe a little bit.â Barry sends you a smirk and a wink that has Rafe groaning into the crook of your neck. âBut donât tell me you didnât hear alla thatâŚâ
âOh, no, I heard it.â You feel Rafeâs lips curve into a smile on your neck. âYou feelinâ a little territorial bats?â
âOh, absolutely. Not just over you, but over being the island's resident weird girl. You donât get to jump on the train after shitting on it.â Your face sets into a glare that sends Barry and Rafe both into a fit of laughter. âHey! Fuck you guys! That bitch made my life a living hell, she had it coming to her!â
âYeah? You donât think holding a knife to her throat was a little excessive?â Rafe squeezes your sides and you try to push off of him but he just pulls you closer.
âHonestly, country club is right. It probably wouldâve been less crazy if you just hit her ass.â Barry rubs his fingers over his chin, the smirk on his lips causing the grill on his teeth to glint in the low light.
âThatâs rich coming from you two!!â You scoff out a laugh that has them both laughing along with you.
âBut honestly though? That was so fuckinâ hot, baby. Lemme take you home and show you who I belong to, yeah?â Rafe runs his nose along your throat before placing a few kisses there that have you throwing your head back against his chest with a sigh.
âAye, unless youâre gonna let me in on it, I suggest you get a fuckinâ room.â Rafe sends Barry a glare that he returns with a smug smile. âWhat? Just sayinâ.â
âBro. Itâs never gonna happen. Stop trying.â Rafe leans over you to shove Barryâs shoulder playfully before scooping you up carrying your ass out of there so he can take you home and fuck you until you canât take it anymore.
Tagging some mooties: @babygorewhore @cxrrodedcoffin @starkeysprincess @cameronsprincess @rafeinterlude @nemesyaaa @bunnies-p1tst0p @eddiesxangel
All things Rafe & his weird!girl here
Divider by @anitalenia
#weird!girl reader#weird!girl#Dolly writes#rafe Cameron#rafe blurb#Rafe thoughts#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe concepts#rafe cameron fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#tw knife
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a house in the middle of nowhere l Joel Miller
Summary:Â you and Joel went on patrol together, nothing went your way
Warnings:Â angst, guns, switchblade, killing people, allusions to sexual abuse, blood
A/N: your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. đ¤ sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
# 1/2
"We should be reaching that building in a few minutes."
You nodded and didn't slow down when you heard Joel's footsteps behind you. The leaves crunched under your shoes and the air in the forest was pleasantly cool. It was as if you had done this before.
The flu that had been sweeping through Jackson for a few weeks now had also reached the people patrolling the area. Soon, Tommy had no choice but to ask you and Joel to start working together again.Â
Despite his concerns, he was pleasantly surprised - you were a great team. That's why he recommended you check out one of the buildings, which was a bit further from your trail.
"Looks good." You said, stopping in front of a small house standing near the end of the forest.
"Yeah. Too good." Joel mumbled. "Do you remember that..."
"I remember." You interrupted him, because your thoughts immediately drifted to a certain house you had found on your way to Jackson. "I saved your ass that time." You smiled, noticing the grimace on Joel's face.
"Keep telling yourself that, darling." he mumbled, heading towards the entrance.
But this time it was safe. The house was small and it took you a few minutes to check all the rooms. Apart from a few canned goods, a few old blankets and a dead bat in the bedroom, everything seemed long forgotten.
"This will be a good base for further patrols." Joel noted as you spread your things in the living room with the intention of spending the night there. "Once we check the area and make sure everything is safe."
You sat down on the dusty couch. The feeling that all this seemed strangely familiar to you filled you since your first joint patrol with Joel.
He didn't press you, he wasn't pushy. The safe distance you wanted to maintain was perceived by him, although you felt his gaze on you many times. You weren't without blame either. Your eyes often lingered on his broad shoulders for a few seconds longer than necessary. You missed him.
"We'll eat something and you can lie down." Joel announced, pulling sandwiches out of his backpack. "I'll take the first watch."
"There's water in the bathroom. Cold, but it's there." You noticed, doing the same as he did.
"Maybe the house is connected to a well. It's hard to tell right now." You handed him a cup of coffee. "Are you going to the party on Saturday?"
You looked at Joel, surprised. "Since when are you interested in parties in Jackson?"
He shrugged and chewed a bite of sandwich. "Ellie asked."
"Oh, did she say anything else?"
"That this new guy, Walsh, asked her about you."
Warmth crept up the back of your neck and you hoped Joel didn't notice your confusion. You weren't dating anyone, you didn't want to. But you knew what Miller was talking about. You and Walsh had been on a few patrols together, and you'd been seen together in the city too.
"Your coffee's getting cold, Joel." you replied, cutting off the discussion.
The room was filled with Joel's quiet snoring. You had been sitting by the window for almost two hours, observing the area. The first rays of sunlight were breaking through the treetops, and you only noticed a few squirrels and a hare.
Your spine was slowly starting to hurt, so you got up quietly and, trying not to wake Joel, you went to the door. Maybe you should have let him know you were leaving, but you saw how much he needed sleep. The lack of people meant that you were almost always outside Jackson, so that those who had families could rest or recover.
You quietly closed the door behind you and inhaled the fresh air. With your finger still near the trigger, you moved forward. The area was quiet, the fog was rising here and there between the trees, and even the birds were just waking up from their sleep.
An unexpected rustling behind you gave you goosebumps. You turned around sharply and saw a pair of rabbits disappearing behind the bushes.
"You scared me." You mumbled to yourself smiling "Don't do that again."
Then you heard a completely unfamiliar voice "I promise I won't do that again, doll."
You turned around sharply and saw the man behind you, then you felt something hit you and darkness engulfed you.
Something was tugging at you. You felt your wrists being tied. Some pushy hands searched all over you, and then someone patted your cheek.
"Doll, wake up!" the same voice, unfamiliar to you "Mike, you hit her too hard."
More steps and someone crouched down next to you. He brushed your hair away from your face.
"Such a pretty face, and look what you did." the first voice hissed "I hope you didn't break her nose."
"Do you need her nose for something?" Mike sneered and patted you on the cheek a few times "Hey! Get up!"
You moaned quietly and opened your eyelids. You almost immediately wanted to back away, but there was a tree behind you, and two men in front of you, who were staring at you with interest.
"Morning, doll." one of them greeted you with a smile "I'm Patrick, and you?"
You pressed your hands together violently, trying to get as far away from them as you could. It was impossible, you knew that.Â
Fuck! How could you be so careless? You had been with someone last time, but now...Â
You thought about the sleeping Joel. Maybe you had at least managed to get far enough away from the house that they wouldn't find him so quickly. Hopefully.
"Hey, bitch!" Mike nudged you in the shoulder, and your gaze immediately went to him. "Can you talk? I didn't knock your teeth out, did I?" he cackled as if he had told a good joke.
"No." You replied quietly.
"Good start." Patrick nodded, his eyes lazily moving over your face. There was something strange about him, something slippery and indecent. "Will you tell us what you're doing here, doll?"
"I was walking."
"You were walking." Patrick repeated after you, reaching out and pulling a blade of grass from your hair, there was something in his gesture that gave you shivers "Pretty girls like you shouldn't walk alone. Is anyone with you?"Â
You shook your head and Mike immediately spat in the grass.
 âShe's lying!â he growled, standing up. âI'm sure someone's nearby.â
Patrick frowned. 'Come on, I'll help you.' He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you to your feet, then pinned you against a tree. 'Who's with you?' he hissed.Â
'I'm alone.' you repeated.Â
'Wrong answer.'
You flinched nervously as a knife blade flashed before your eyes. It was the same switchblade that Joel had given you. You carried it with you, they had to find it when they searched you.Â
âListen to me carefully, doll.' Patrick moved the blade to your chest and soon you saw the first button on your shirt pop off, then the second. 'You'll tell us what we want, okay? Be a good girl. Maybe then I'll be gentle with you, huh? I wouldn't want to hurt you...' he made a sad face as if he was really sorry, two more buttons popped off. 'But I haven't had a warm pussy in a while, I might be too hard for you. Unless you like that? Do you like it, doll?"
"I'm alone." You managed to choke out, trying to keep your voice from shaking. "I swear. I... I got away from the group."
"That bitch is lying, I can feel it!" Mike growled, looking around the area. "Do what you have to and let's get out of here."
Patrick watched you closely. His gaze slid down to your chest, which was rising rapidly with every breath. Your bra peeked out from under your shirt, the outline of your breasts must have been clearly visible to him.
"You could have been good, doll..." he whispered. "We could have been something great."
"Please..." you groaned.
At that moment you heard a shot. You didn't know where it came from, but you saw Mike stagger and fall hard to the ground. In an instant Patrick looked up, then looked at you.
"Who is it?!" he growled angrily, pressing you against the trunk so hard that you felt something stab you painfully in the back.
"Your Death." you gasped.
Another shot and warm blood splattered on your face. You slid to the ground gasping for air. Patrick's body lay beneath your legs. Strong hands grabbed your arms and then your face.
"Are you okay?"
Joel!
You nodded your head violently. He noticed the bonds on your wrists and when he looked around he saw the switchblade lying in the grass. He quickly cut the rope. In a second your arms were wrapped around his neck and a quiet cry escaped your throat.
"It's okay, I've got you." he whispered, stroking your hair and back "You're safe."
ââââ
Thank you for your time.
taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist
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David Gaider on Shale, under a cut for length:
"Oops! I realized I'd moved on from DAO but missed one of the companions I'd written. Which checks out, honestly, because I almost didn't write Shale and, even after I'd written her, she almost didn't happen anyhow. Then she did. Prepare yourself for... PIGEON QUEST. 𦤠So... I'm wracking my brain, but I don't recall how Shale began. I have this vague memory of us wanting a "weird" party member who didn't conform to the normal classes (this was back when Dog didn't need to be in the party), and I think my mind drifted to an old indie comic character named Concrete."
"Now, your reaction to that is probably "who?" That's OK. When I explain that HK-47 in KotOR was inspired by an old Canadian TV show called the Littlest Hobo I get the same perplexed response. đ
In short: Concrete was just a regular dude. Who happened to also be a walking hulk of rock. Cue hi-jinx. The problem here is I don't remember whether the Concrete thing was part of the original inspiration or something I thought of at the point when I started writing the character. Because I didn't, at first. That was later. Shale was initially taken on by Jay Turner, then one of our junior writers. Jay had an idea to make Shale more of a robot, an emotionless automoton killer... think HK-47, but without the layer of sarcasm. I was leery, and told Jay he'd have to be very careful. "Emotionless" can very quickly turn into "boring", after all, unless you're VERY careful. But Jay was determined. Sigh. This was a fail on my part, as his lead. There's been a couple of times in my career when I've let a junior convince me with their enthusiasm to take on something my experience said they shouldn't. And then watch their confidence crumble despite every effort I made to reassure them it was OK. This was one of those times. Jay, no idea if you'll read this but: I'm sorry. Even an experienced writer would have found that a daunting challenge. Tonia, my other Big Fail on a similar situation in DAI: I'm sorry. Both times, I should have known. You did your best, but I set you up to fail. đ"
"Jay did his best, and this version of Shale was certainly interesting... but, when he was done, it was one of those peer reviews where every writer had that look of "I'm REALLY sorry to say this..." It felt flat. Jay tried numerous revisions, but the issue wasn't his ability - it was the concept. I only allowed my writers a certain number of tries before I take it away. This hearkens back to an earlier time at Bio when writers would hack away at something that wasn't working 6, 7, 8 times or more until finally their soul was dust. Mike Laidlaw can attest. Revision isn't always the answer. So I moved (a much relieved, I think) Jay onto something else, and the question arose: what do we do with Shale? Do we cut it? It was already very late. Then Shale dropped in my lap. I don't remember if it was me refusing to let it go or maybe Brent (Knowles, Creative Director) giving it to me. I suspect it was the latter, because I recall being a bit bitter about the whole thing. WHAT am I going to do with this character? At the time, they'd moved me out of the writers pit to instead be in a big office with the other leads. I had this corner desk by a window (yay) with an awful view (ugh) What was so awful about it? It looked out onto the neighbouring roof, where there was only an HVAC unit to see. In the winter, pigeons would gather around it. They pooped all over everything - there was this alcove around the access door, right? The pigeons roosted there and it was POOP FAUCET city."
"Not only that, the pigeons used the HVAC like some kind of sex den. Angry, ugly pigeon sex. The only respite was when a hawk would appear and the pigeons scattered. Then I'd get maybe a day when there was a single pigeon corpse, like an exploded ball of down, to act as a scarecrow. Good days, those. What does any of this have to do with Shale? Well, there's me, staring out the window trying desperately to think what I'm going to do. But I CAN'T stare out the window because, gross. But what else am I going to stare at while I think? It was making me furious. I hated those pigeons SO SO MUCH. And then it hit me: Shale is basically an animated statue, right? Something that pigeons are rather notorious for also gathering on? And so I wrote. I wrote like the angry, angry wind. I had zero time to do this so it was basically me vomiting all my annoyance at everything into a single character. Not that it helped much. There was a battle going on over Shale - first, as I recall, it was the art team. They were going to make every doorway in the game EXTRA HUGE because they were worried that Shale was too large and might clip. So, yes, let's alter the whole world to fix that. Good idea. đ Eventually, they compromised by making Shale smaller. Sten-sized. Or Brent went Akira mode, but I don't really know. This was a battle happening above my level. Yet Shale got cut anyhow. There wasn't time to do her abilities and we were short on cinematics time. There was never enough time on DAO."
""Oh well," I thought. "That's that." I did what I could, but cut content is almost never resurrected. The idea was floated of making Shale into a DLC but I scoffed. Yeah, right! But... it happened. That's why the "almost" is there. Enough of the team liked Shale they made it happen this one time. This meant I could finish up the writing once we'd more or less wrapped DAO, and the rest of the team (cinematics, in particular, who were pressed the hardest for time) could move onto the Shale DLC once they were ready. It was supposed to come out well after release, but you know. Shenanigans. This particular shenanigan was EA deciding to sit on the finished DAO a few months in order to delay the release. Why? Again, not my level. To get closer to Christmas, maybe, or maybe for sim ship. It did mean Shale ended up being ready for release day. Unexpected confluence of events, honestly. Cue some fans getting upset that "cut content" was sold to them separately, which... fair, I guess? The alternative would have been that Shale was simply cut, period, and it just worked out this way but... yes, fair. This was back when DLC was the main beef of hardcore gamers. Oh, the good old days. Overall? I have a soft spot for Shale. She has no soft spot for anyone, being... you know... made of rock. It's why I put her in Asunder, and why she was also going to be in the - apparently now notorious for its Fenris murder - cancelled fourth DA novel. Also, if you're a pigeon fan: not sorry. đ"
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Dulcissima I Marcus Acacius x Vestal!Reader I Chapter II
! This Fic contains major spoilers for Gladiator II ! Proceed with caution !
Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Vestal Virgin Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 1.8k+ Tags: Secret Relationship, Vestal Virgins, Religious Guilt, Gladiator fights, Gladiator II compliant (more or less), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Ancient Rome, Age Difference, Slow Burn (ish), More tags to be added (!)
AO3 // Series Masterlist // Masterlist // Fic Playlist
notes: ! last major spoiler warning for gladiator II below the cut !
thank you all so much for the love on the first chapter. we delve a little bit into their backstory now (gladiator II is set around 211 AD). feel free to let me know if you are interested in reading how these two get to where we picked up before <3 i also have a little acacius playlist that fits the vibe of this fic very well. feel free to check it out here!
vestal (vigins) - priestesses of vesta, virgin goddess of Rome's sacred flame (details will be explained later in the story) dulcissima - sweetest (fond nickname) domus - a roman house palla - a traditional mantle for women paludamentum - a cloak worn by high ranking military officials
Chapter II
209 AD
The domus sits just on the edge of Palatine Hill, on the side opening towards the Forum Romanum and Via Nova. You have passed below it more times than you can count, though you have rarely walked the small street that weaves up the hill and leads to the edge of the property.
Many of the neighboring houses are too harsh for your taste, with columns twice as wide as your body and barely a shrub of greenery in front of them. A supposed sign of strength, no doubt. But when passing the house with the large garden, you like to take as much time as you dare, occasionally catching a whiff of the lavender that grows all around it.
It reminds you of the shadowy figure you often saw walking those same gardens after dark, many years past. A bereaved woman, shrouded in dark cloth, keeping her head down as she tended to the plants with dainty fingers, decorated with a thick gold ring that framed a green stone. You remember lingering too long on your way past the iron fence once, fascinated by the way her dress flowed in the wind. She had called out to you, beckoning you towards her.
Lucilla was not a terrifying woman but you knew that every misstep could cost you, especially in your position as a vestal. She had knelt down in front of your trembling form, brushed your hair out of your face and looked at you with an expression you did not understand. But she had whispered words that you did. Asked you not to collect the water after dark, to stay with the older vestals. Then she had offered you a small bundle of lavender.
You stuffed it under the linen of your bed later that night, breathing in a scent that felt like a world where a woman could freely roam her garden and the city beyond, who did not have to be afraid.
The guard at the gate gives a small bow of courtesy when you reach him and moves to the side, allowing you to tread the stone path that leads up to the house. âThe General is inside. Please, knock.â
A gentle âThank youâ escapes your lips as you reach to lift your stola just enough to not step on it. The torches lining the way are extinguished, not needed during the day. A short glance down the hill allows you to spot your own home, right beside the rounded building that is the Temple of Vesta.
When you reach the wooden door, you raise your hand and will yourself to knock with enough force to make it heard.
You can hear someone calling out from inside and a few seconds later, a man with broad shoulders opens the door. His gaze flies over you brieflyâtaking in your white tunic and the palla wrapped around your shoulders. The thin veil attached to your headdress and all the linen of your clothes tucked neatly into place are usually enough indication for whoever is stood in front of you to understand your status.
âGeneral Acacius?â You ask softly, your eyes taking in his brown eyes and the curve of his nose, one that looks like it belongs on a statue rather than a living man.
âVero, that is me. Please, come inside.â He gives a small bow, gesturing past himself and you nod at the invitation, gracefully stepping into the house and finding yourself in an atrium that renders you speechless. The columns that line its sides are slightly worn, flowers stretching along them towards the upper floor. Stone basins and pots holding a variety of plants stand at almost every corner of the open space, making it feel more like a garden than the stuck-up room you would have expected in a Generals home.
Acaciusâs hand hovers behind you, guiding you past the fountain that holds a few orange fish and to the opposite end of the open room, though he never actually touches you. âPlease. Have a seat.â
âThank you,â you repeat your earlier words, lowering yourself onto the chair he indicated.
âWould you like some wine? Perhaps some grapes too?â He waves to one of the servants, who promptly places two glasses on the table, though Acacius takes the carafe and dismisses him with a small nod as he begins to pour you some of the dark red liquid. You make to reach for your glass to hold it steady but he shakes his head quickly. âAllow me. Please.â
You nod at that, leaning back and waiting politely while he pours himself a drink as well. It allows you a moment to take in his form up close, the white tunic and his red paludamentum wrapped around his body. A cloak fastened with a gold brooch, one thatâsimilar to your headwearâmakes him a respected man no matter where he goes. You wonder if he feels the same about it, that some days it's more like a heavy curse weighing one down. Then again, he is a General of Rome. You are a priestess of Vesta. Your paths may cross today but you are certain they look very different from one another.
He sits down across from you, a small sigh leaving his lips as he toasts in your direction and takes a sip of his wine. Then, he leans to the side and produces two rolls of parchment. âI had to make some adjustments to my will. It was kept by one of your sisters, but I believe she has finished her service with the Vestals since I last saw her.â
You give him a small smile as you take the parchment from him, nodding. âYes, she left the year before last. But of course I will be just as happy to keep the will for you.â
His eyes fly over your face briefly and he gestures to the rolls on your lap. âI crossed out the old version. I married, you see.â
You stare at him for a moment before nodding a little too quickly. âOf course. Yes, IâThe lady of this house I presumeââ You break off, realizing your mistake. If he indeed married Lucilla, he is now the head of this house. âWhat I meantââ you add hastily. ââis that it is your house now. And the house is beautiful, I meanââ Itâs the second time you stop in the middle of the sentence. But this time, it is because you have dared to look back over at the General. And he is not even trying to conceal his amusement.
You bow your head in another silent apology and he tuts softly. âYou are quite right, you know. As far as I am concerned, she is the woman of this house.â A smile plays around his lips. âAnd I would not have it any other way.â
Itâs clearly not his atrium that surprises you. He is not what you would expect a General to be. Especially not one that is about to entrust you with his will. âI give my word that I will see it is stored safely,â you reassure him, carefully taking another small sip of the wine.
Acacius nods. âI appreciate that. You have my thanks.â He pauses briefly, his gaze darting around the atrium for a split second before landing back on you. âYou seem uneasy. Do I make you uncomfortable?â
âNo. No, of course not, General.â It is not a lie, per se. But you are all too aware that it sounds like one.
âIs it your first time taking a will?â
You do not know how he does it. He seems to have read you so easilyâor he is just very well connected to know such a thing. âYes. It is, but I promiseââ
âI trust you,â he states almost casually while reaching for the grapes and offering you some as well. You politely decline.
âForgive me but ⌠you met me mere moments ago. How can you know I am trustworthy?â Your eyes catch his and this time you hold his gaze, not missing the small glint in them.
âAll of Rome trusts the Vestals. If not you, who would we put our faith into?â
âThe gods. You should put your faith in the gods,â you say quietly.
âI prefer to put my faith in people,â Acacius responds, though his voice is slightly lowered as well. âThe gods do not fight our wars.â
You stand up so abruptly that you almost drop the scrolls. âI should go.â
He seems perplexed for a moment but quickly catches himself and nods, standing up before leading you back the same way you came. You allow yourself a quick sideward glance at his face and are met with a professionally neutral expression. At the door, you turn towards him, giving a last, small bow. âMy General.â His title falls off your lips like the silk they sell at the market, flowing effortlessly. His brown eyes lingering on you as you address himâeven if normal customâas yours, make your stomach clench slightly.
Acacius lets his hand hover beside you again, never quite touching you. Yet you almost seem to be able to feel his touch. âI did not mean offense.â His voice is much softer than it was when he greeted you.
âOf course.â You force yourself to smile and step away, shaking your head at the brief moment of confusion you allowed yourself. He is a General, you are a Vestal. He has sworn his vows and you have sworn yours. And both include promises that are enough to keep you at a few feets distance for several lifetimes. âPlease, call for me if you ever need to make adjustments to the will. Andââ You force yourself to smile a little wider. âCongratulations on your marriage.â
You turn around before he can speak again, suddenly wanting to put some distance between yourself and the house you so longed to see from insideâuntil you did.
***
211 AD
âYou have to go, dulcissima.â
Acacius' voice is quiet, the back of his head resting against the stone pillar as he watches you drag the chaise lounge across the atrium, muttering under your breath when you have to maneuver it around the small fountain in the middle of the space.
âPlease.â
You shake your head just as you reach him, gesturing for him to sit down. His begging breaks your heartâit always has. But the thought of leaving him here with open wounds is worse.
âLet me see your arm.â He doesn't move, forcing you to become a bit more stern. âAcacius. Let me see the arm. I am not leaving until you do.â
A curse slips out under his breath but he does as told, sitting down and allowing you to inspect his wound. The rustle of the chain on his ankle breaks the quiet as he moves and you pointedly ignore it as you crouch down in front of him.
You let your hand hover above his skin for a moment, taking a small breath. It is still difficult to break the rules you have been taught for so long sometimes. You tell yourself that this is not even a sin, that you are merely caring for a wounded Gladiator. It tricks your brain enough to lower your hand onto his skin. You do not believe it tricks Vesta.
âHe should not have fought you,â you mumble quietly, thinking back to how Lucius was swinging away the moment he entered the arena.
âHe did not understand. And it is how the Colosseum works, you know this.â Acacius mutters back, tensing slightly when you run your finger over the cut the sword left on his arm. It doesn't seem too deep but you know Acacius must be in much more pain than he lets on.
âI hate that place,â you whisper, surprising yourself with the force of your words. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes and you stiffen when you feel a calloused hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before brushing over your cheek.
âOh, sweet,â he mutters, leaning down to press his forehead against yours. âI am fine. I made it out, see? I promised I would.â
âThey were going to shoot you,â you choke out, trying and failing to hold back the tears now slipping down your cheeks. You feel his lips touch the crown of your head briefly.
âBut they didn't. Now, please, I will take care of this. But you have to leave.â
You wipe your tears with the back of your hand and shake your head again, blinking a few times to clear your vision and shift your attention back to his wound. âHow would you take care of this? They have sentenced you to death. The Emperors have called for it, in front of the whole empire.â
âI can talk to them. I have things to offer, even now. They do not know how to lead an army. But they need someone who does. Andââ
âYou would sell your soul to stay alive,â you whisper as you reach for a piece of cloth and begin to wipe down the crusted blood.
Acacius sighs. âNo. But I would sell my soul to stay with you.â
! when commenting or reblogging, please make sure to hide spoilers from others !
#marcus acacius#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius / reader#marcus acacius / you#marcus acacius x you#general acacius#general acacius / you#general acacius / reader#gladiator II#gladiator 2#pedro pascal fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#hurt/comfort#vestal virgins#ancient rome#softpascalito#chapter 2#dulcissima#romance#secret relationship#slow burn
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I see you're looking for prompts, so if you're still writing then how about:
Tommy comes over and accidentally interrupts Uncle Buck time.
Sorry it took so long! I hope you like it!
---
"Ok Jee, these need to cool off while the other batch is in the oven." Buck told his niece, putting their freshly baked cookies onto a wire cooling rack. He grabbed her hand and moved it away when she tried to grab one. "No, no, these are hot. You'll burn yourself. It'll hurt. Ouchie."
The girl tucked her hands against her chest and warily eyed the rack.
"They'll be cool enough to eat in a little while." he promised her. "And we can make the chocolate chip ones while we wait for the snickerdoodles to cool off."
"With extra chips!" Jee announced happily.
"Sure. Why not. We can even make some more so you can take them home with you when mommy and daddy come pick you up." Buck suggested. "And maybe some banana bread too..." he mumbled more to himself than to Jee.
He flicked through the cookbook he'd bought so he wouldn't have to look up recipes on his phone (and he'd be less tempted to check his text thread with Tommy) to find the right page, while Jee pointed out all of the other things she wanted to make.
"And this!" Jee pointed at a picture of a cake that looked like something out of a professional bakery and way above his skill level.
It was perfect. A complicated recipe meant his brain had no time go over that last conversation with Tommy again to try and figure out how and where he'd screwed up so spectacularly.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Buck glanced at the clock on the oven, but it wasn't anywhere near the time he expected Maddie and Chim to be back.
He quickly wiped his hands on his apron, deposited Jee on the sofa with the cookbook and rushed to open the door.
He expected to maybe find one of his neighbours on the other side, or someone trying to convince him to donate to some charity.
"Tommy?"
The other man looked about as well as he felt. Dark circles under his eyes, hair a mess, and the same three day stubble that was currently on his own face.
"Hey... Uhm... I did text... And call... But you didn't reply."
"Oh uh... Yeah my uh phone is on silent..."
Tommy nodded, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket.
"C-can we talk?" Tommy stammered and Buck realised he was nervous. Cool and collected Tommy Kinard was nervous about talking to him.
Before Buck got the chance to answer, a loud beeping came from the kitchen and Jee excitedly ran up to the island.
"Uncle Buck! It's done!"
"Oh... Is this a bad time?"
"Uhm..." Buck desperately wanted to talk to Tommy, but at the same time he had to keep an eye on Jee and their baking adventures. "Just... Come on in. Close the door behind you." he rushed over to the kitchen to shut off the timer and check the cookies.
"I can just go... If I'm interrupting your time with your family..."
"No, it's fine. Stay. Please. We're baking. You can help." Buck said, almost pleading. "And when the sugar rush wears off and she's down for the count, we can talk."
"Ok." Tommy nodded and took off his jacket, hanging it on the hook by the door that had practically been his the past six months. Only this time there was no Air Ops uniform jacket next to it or a duffle on the floor.
"Jee, this is my friend Tommy, he's coming to help us." Buck announced as he took another batch of cookies out of the oven.
"Is that ok?" Tommy asked Jee, looking like he was afraid of her answer.
"We're making chocolate chip cookies." the girl told him like she was explaining the mysteries of the world. "With extra chips."
"Oh. Ok. Can I help with that?"
"Tommy is very good at baking." Buck told Jee. "Maybe he'll help us make that cake we found too."
"Sure. Just tell me what to do." Tommy said and Buck saw the exact moment the mask went on again. There was a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes and a fake cheery tone in his voice. "I'm happy to help where I can."
The three of them went to work and soon almost every available surface of the loft was covered in cooling cookies or ones ready to go into the oven.
Tommy had started to relax a little but there was still a tension to his shoulders Buck didn't like.
When he took the last batch of cookies out of the oven some time later, Jee was already out cold in the armchair and Tommy was sitting at the island with an almost perfect posture, like he was back in the army.
In the exact same place he'd sat when he'd broken both their hearts.
"So... That's the last of it." Buck wiped his hands on his apron before taking it off. "Maddie and Chim won't be back until 10... so we've got two hours."
Tommy nodded.
"Don't you want to clean up first? I can help." he offered but Buck shook his head and sat down too.
Somewhere in the back of his mind the irony of them being in the exact same place as when Tommy ended things between them did register, but he quickly pushed that thought away.
"No. Clean up can wait. I want answers." he looked Tommy in the eye. "I want to know why my boyfriend dumped me instead of telling me I was moving too fast and I freaked him out."
"I... I... I'm sorry." Tommy said eventually. "I did what I thought was best."
"For who? For me? For you? Because I haven't been doing so great these past few weeks."
"Neither have I..." Tommy admitted quietly.
"Then why did you do it? Why did you dump me?"
"I just... I'm not the last person kind of guy. People don't stay with me. I'm ok for a while... Until they get a better offer. I'm never anyone's mister right, only mister right now."
Buck frowned.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"That you're going to find someone you're going to want to settle down with and that someone is not me. And that... that hurts... but it's better to rip the band aid off now than 6 months or a year or maybe even longer if I'm lucky down the line. "
"What makes you so sure I'm going to meet someone else?"
Tommy gave him a sad smile.
"Because that's the way it always goes. It's fun for a while and then you meet the person you're meant to be with."
"What makes you think I haven't already met him?"
"Evan..."
"Don't Evan me." he took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts. He wanted to get this right. Make Tommy see he was serious. "I miss you." he started "You said you couldn't be my first and my last but I think you can. I want you to be. Ever since that first time you kissed me, I've felt more free and alive and... complete... than I ever have."
"Evan..." Tommy started again but Buck held up a hand to stop him.
"Just... let me get this out." he paused for a second "I'm a grown man, Tommy. I'm not some teenager with a crush who doesn't know what he wants. I've slept around plenty over the years... But I stopped doing that because it didn't make me happy. I wanted someone to come home to. Someone I could introduce to my friends and family. Someone who would listen to me talk about my day and tell me about theirs. Someone I could just be myself with. Who wouldn't get annoyed about my internet deep dives or if I had to cancel date night because I was too tired after a shift. "
"And you deserve that... And... And I hope you find that person."
"I already have." he grabbed Tommy's hands. "It's you. You know most of my friends and family, you've even already met my parents." he grinned, thinking back to Maddie and Chim's wedding day in the hospital. "You know the job, you even used to work at the same firehouse."
"That doesn't mean I'm good for you. Or good enough."
"Can I be the one to decide that?"
"I... I... what? I... of course... but..."
"Everyone keeps making decisions for me. Including you."
"I'm sorry..."
"No." Buck shook his head "I should stand up for myself more. Go after what I want."
"And what is it you want?" Tommy asked, trying not to get his hopes up.
"You." Buck said simply and leaned forward to kiss him, happy when Tommy didn't pull away or try to stop him. "I want you. All of you."
"I want that too but..."
"No buts. Whatever problem you think there is... we can work it out. I think what we have is worth fighting for, don't you?"
"I... Yes... Yeah it is..."
"But?"
"I'm kind of terrified." Tommy admitted. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never been in a relationship where I fell so hard so fast... And that scared the hell out of me."
"That's ok. I can be brave for the both of us for now." Buck told him and kissed him again, just because he could. "But promise me one thing."
"Anything."
"Next time I move too fast or say something dumb that makes you freak out... talk to me instead of running away?"
Tommy took a deep breath and looked him in the eye.
"Ok. I promise."
---
Send me a prompt and I'll write you a ficlet!
(if you've sent me one recently - I have seen it and it's most likely saved in my drafts, partially written, because I keep getting distracted - but I will finish it sooner or later!)
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ok wow, took me 4 hours to read and annotate this.
i love LOVE the banner, it rly like set the mood of the story and i love your editing skills !!
whoops, this is long.
â plot; easily my most fav wonwoo fic. oh god, i was from the moment you announced in front of me was in the works. angsty fic with best friend wonwoo, i was SOLD. plus unrequited love? pining? realistic characters? yes. the angstiest piece written so beautifully and done with so much effort. and this hits way too close to home. i literally felt called out at multiple points of reading. i just love how realistic and gut wrenching this is.
â oc; she's an idiot, i love her. honestly, i feel like she's me lmao. everything from pining like an idiot to the buzzfeed unsolved and aot, man. she's so well sculptured in a way her characterization is realistic. her sensitivity, the willingness to let him walk over her like that, pining, naivety, accepting him no matter what. fucking hell, she wasn't even angry at last, just so tired and soft with her wordings, only breaking down by the very end. she needed a push to take a stand for herself and i'm so glad she did!
â wonwoo; *sighs* the very introduction and he was already being a dick. but goddamn the fact he's genuinely oblivious to it? when i was expecting toxic bsf! wonwoo, i didnt expect him to be a cardboard cut-out of he-who-shall-not-be-named. ig every girl has stumbled across these type of guys. it would've been so easier to hate by just seeing the story from his pov. but introducing his thoughts and views made me fee pity for him. bcz yeah, he's human too and as much as he's despicable, i understand him. a true gray character. his feelings were so complex. the string of relationships that never worked out were so bitter to read about, him ghosting her yet always crawling back, the uncertainty when she started ignoring him, the jealousy, the anger. his character was so raw and human. as much as i feel sympathy for him, sometimes leaving ppl like this behind is the best answer.
â seokmin; ok, i was so enamored by this guy, that i completely overlooked the fact that he could have bad intentions. like?? if you read thru my annotations, i genuinely liked him? even when wonwoo said he knew what he was doing, i thought wonwoo was being stupid. ... until i heard it straight from seokmin. man, the twist? i was so shocked, i dont even know what's gonna happen lmao. this is crazy.
â the friends; i love them from what we've seen of them. the scene with gyu giving him a reality check? fuck yes, you need friends like that. not only was he looking out for her, he was looking out for him too. i loved it!
â annotations;
Your phone beeps indicating that heâs hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?Â
the angst is already hitting omfgggg
and the prologue feels like the opening to a movie, i love it so much.
âWait, what? You and Wonwoo arenât dating?â Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.Â
asking the real questions here
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.Â
nooo, but also yesss for the slowburn
âNo, câmon, weâre just friends. Thatâs it, right?â Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.Â
that hurts..
But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. Heâs completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
this is already hitting omfgÂ
He becomes more detached when heâs in a relationship, and youâre okay with that. His priorities change and youâre okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you canât force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.Â
ow ow ow, ok.Â
but that doesnât mean it doesnât hurt any less to see the person youâre in love with, fall in love with someone else.Â
đ angst is angsting
Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.Â
reading this while im on my periods is gonna punch me in the gut
âItâs alright,â he coos, pulling you into his strong arms. Â
đ§not me serving lanes with seokmin lmao
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him.
been there, done that. i am guilty your honor
You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.Â
sheâs down bad and attached af but I UNDERSTAND RAHHÂ
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up.
đ§âŚ i giggledÂ
Wonwooâs arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder.
RAHHHHHHHH đŚ
âOf course, what are best friends for?âÂ
ofc ofc ⌠best friends âŚ
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
this was so beautiful, i just had to point it out. Annaâs writing >>>>
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day.
alexa play, snow on the beach (annaâs version)
He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you.
fuck, i feel called out
Despite his interest in collecting pokĂŠmon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.Â
is this about me?
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.Â
this fucking play is abt me
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didnât mean he was that much different from how he was last year.Â
oh fucking hell, anna are you perhaps stalking me??? im having flashbacks
He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasnât worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.Â
wonwoo bro, what is this behaviour
Everything that you werenât.
fuck, ok that hurts (i refuse to cry so early)
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didnât care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
ik normally ppl would hate this, so do i. but been there, done that⌠not proud of it
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesnât let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit. The possibilities are endless, and youâd rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.Â
your imagery ???? holy shit, i never thought of the siren metaphor in this way. anna, ur brain >>
âIt's never a problem if itâs you,â he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.Â
đ§*sighs* pls dont tell me heâs gonna talk like this the entire time. Wtf jeon wonwoo
Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know youâll think about it for the rest of the night.Â
listen, this is gonna be difficult if he's gonna keep acting like this
His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.Â
Delulu is the solulu (in fiction)
The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwooâs deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
oh here comes the jealousy.
At this point, you werenât sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesnât realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.Â
asdfghjkl, jealousy is one ugly demon. I hate it
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? Itâs tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that youâll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesnât love you back.Â
another hit in the gut, it seems so important at that time but looking back, nope.
âHey, look at meââ he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. âYou are not a burden. We care, thatâs why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.âÂ
đĽşđĽš friends like this >>>
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. Heâs always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.Â
i need a seokmin in my life rn
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him.
lmao, i love soonyoungÂ
huhu, im so READY for wonwooâs pov
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo.
I screamed when i saw this, FROM THE TEASER ASDFGHHJKL
He has no control over whether youâre going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he canât stand that feeling.Â
wow, try being her for a sec, my guy
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps heâs conceited and selfish, but he doesnât care.
10 points for self awareness!!
Because in his mind, youâre his best friend.
I folded so fucking fast, im not immune to possessiveness
[wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u shouldâve seen it! reminded me of u.Â
i am not immune to jeon wonwoo
The sight of you getting into Seokminâs car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.Â
yes yes YES, heâs jellyÂ
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe.
i love his complexity. the most perfectly gray character, like any other human being. I love your characterisation of him so much!!
That hadnât been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldnât help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him. He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone.
Awww, this is cute but knowing howâs he gonna act in the future âŚ.
âYou know, youâre still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?âÂ
i hate these typa relatives ??? like bro LOOK AT URSELF
Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.Â
AHHH, ANNA U AND ME, WE ARE THE SAME PERSON omg i love buzzfeed unsolved.Â
Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.Â
fuck this reminds me of him. anna, you stalkerÂ
And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasnât all that bad-looking, after all.Â
no fuck, everything reminds me of him wtf
He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.Â
đ§u have a girl waiting for u back at home but i wont blame him
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less.
âŚâŚ this hurts
Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.Â
but i am happy for him. Itâs important to not base ur happiness on someone else !!
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control.Â
uhâŚ. Wonwoo ??
âIt all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!âÂ
AOT MENTIONED
âI'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,â
âŚ. ??? im offendedÂ
He was never able to comprehend why he couldnât keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasnât sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.Â
⌠yeah i think i know
The answer was you.
There it is
With the amount of near run-ins heâs had with you and Seokmin on campus, heâs begun to sense that itâs some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that itâs completely unwarranted.Â
oh it is warranted, trust me.Â
âServes you right, youâre a dick to her, man.â Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.Â
TELL IT, GIVE IT TO HIM, GYU
âHow blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you canât see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?â Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.Â
im hollering lmaooo
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes.
ok, i feel bad for him.
Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but heâs pushed you so far to the brink that youâd rather ignore him than attempt to hash out whatâs been troubling you.
poor guy, didnât even realise it.Â
What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?
đ idk if i shud laugh im so sorry
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment.Â
nvm, this is so messy and so real
You were fine, and he shouldâve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.Â
Bro, just grow a pair and go talk to her instead of coming to conclusions on ur own wtf
The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokminâs visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.Â
wonwoo, arenât you her best friend? her sexual ventures now annoy you, hmmmmmmmm i seeee
Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.Â
slow burn, yearning, ah yes the only two things keeping me alive
âThe number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,â an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.Â
đ§âŚ i did not expect her to block him just like that but queen knows her worth !!
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.Â
i âŚ.. uhm ⌠this is messy
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth. Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.Â
i feel bad for him but donât balme her either rahhhhhh
âI could say the same thing for you,â Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, âI didnât have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.âÂ
HUH?????????? WAIT WHAT. WTF OH NO NO
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didnât expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.Â
oh âŚ.. oh my god. wtf
He knew you well enough that you wouldnât just block him so carelessly, without a word no less.Â
I KNEW IT
Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.Â
Nooooo, wonwoo. i am very shocked by the turn of events
Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?Â
damn this alluding to his prev relationships ⌠makes me sick. I mean he didnât know better but still âŚÂ
âDid you fuck him?â Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.Â
đwtf wonwoo
Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps itâs undeserving to do so, but Wonwooâs frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.Â
i get him but boy pls, this is not the way
His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.Â
understandable but stil smh
I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didnât care enough to notice.Â
SHE SAID IT, OMG SHE SAID IT
He shouldâve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH đŚ
đŚ
đŚ
In Front of Me (1)
cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me âË
âš pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader âš genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) âš wordcount: 40.6k (part 1) (part 2: here)
âš summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.
âš tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (content warnings under the cut)
⚠note: this story was meant to be posted for wonwoos bday, but if you know anything about me by now, i never really stick to my self made deadlines lol. thank you to my cutieful, big brained beta readers: ⥠@junkissed @chocosvt and @sunniques ⥠everyone in @svthub and @highvern and @gyuswhore who helped me w this fic as well ! if u look closely this is pretty much just a sugar coated version of real life events lol... anyways i hope u enjoy and lmk what u think thru the replies and reblogs :) !
âš masterlist, fic playlist.
âš smut tags: no smut in this part :p âš warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p
⚠what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ⥠i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!
prologue.Â
Despite your age, youâve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone.Â
In all the years youâve known Wonwoo, youâve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings youâve harboured for him since the eleventh grade.Â
He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldnât even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his ânext stepâ should be. The doting best friend that you are, youâd gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems.Â
âI just, I donât have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?â he asked you over the phone.Â
Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits.Â
Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit.Â
âItâs not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?â you ask him, and he pauses to think.Â
âI donât know, but I canât stay, that would make things worse,â he sighs. âItâs better to just stop this whole thing now.âÂ
âI agree, but are you sure?â you continue to ask him the same questions youâve been asking since you were sixteen.Â
âIâm sure,â he replies with a heavy sigh.Â
âOkay, then goodnight. Itâs almost one in the morning,â you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak.Â
âIâm not the bad guy, right?â he asks you for reassurance.Â
âNo, youâre just human Wonwoo. Thereâs nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,â you affirmed.Â
âAlright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,â he whispers listlessly.Â
âGood night, Wonwoo.âÂ
Your phone beeps indicating that heâs hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?Â
act one, favorite crime.
chapter one.Â
âWait, what? You and Wonwoo arenât dating?â Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.Â
The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghanâs living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway.Â
It feels like every time youâre with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo havenât thought about dating, or why you two havenât decided to take the chance and just be together.Â
âYou guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,â Wonwoo defends the two of you.Â
âYouâre telling me in all the years youâve known her, you havenât developed feelings for her once?â Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide.Â
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.Â
âNo, câmon, weâre just friends. Thatâs it, right?â Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.Â
Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation.Â
âU-uh yeah, Wonwooâs right, weâre just friends,â you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once.Â
âSee? Now can you all just get off our backs?â he chastises.Â
The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwooâs friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. Heâs completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most peopleâs, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwooâs feelings, and you also respect that whenever heâs dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts.Â
He becomes more detached when heâs in a relationship, and youâre okay with that. His priorities change and youâre okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you canât force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.Â
Youâve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals donât change just because you love him, but that doesnât mean it doesnât hurt any less to see the person youâre in love with, fall in love with someone else.Â
two.Â
âHey, you okay?â Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence.Â
âHuh? Yeah, Iâm alright,â you mutter, but you know you donât look that way.Â
Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when youâre not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite.Â
The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least thatâs what you like to think. But your heart canât seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.Â
âWhatâs the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,â he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear.Â
You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spillânot like this, not in front of so many people.Â
âIt was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannieâs house,â you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend.Â
âWhat did he say?âÂ
âThat heâs never liked me before,â you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye.Â
Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesnât have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate.Â
âItâs alright,â he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.Â
It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your universityâs dining hall. But youâre thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldnât help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice.Â
âYou deserve more than this, I hope you know that,â he whispers in your ear.
three.Â
Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwooâs past relationships is the perfect example. Heâs not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?
You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you canât let go of. No matter how many times youâve tried.Â
A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you donât remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway.Â
âHey, sorry I didnât text,â Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch.Â
âItâs okay, whatâs up?â you move to sit beside him.Â
âI broke up with her,â He says, shrugging.Â
Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache.Â
âWell, how did it go?â you ask with a bit of apprehension.Â
Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. Heâs never been bothered to really break up with someone.Â
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. Itâs pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that youâre a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another.Â
âShe was crying, but at least itâs over now,â Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table.Â
âOh.â You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins.Â
It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but youâre not sure how to react. Thereâs a part of you thatâs happy to know that heâs single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken.Â
Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information youâve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions.Â
âAre you still going to Seokminâs thing this weekend, though?â you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats.Â
He shrugs his shoulders, âIf I feel like it. Are you?âÂ
The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.Â
âI mean, I donât have a ride soâŚâ you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen.Â
âIâll go since youâre going, that way you have a ride,â he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch.Â
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. Youâre very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest.Â
Wonwooâs arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything.Â
âThank you for agreeing to go to Seokminâs so I have a ride,â you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesnât notice your flustered expression.Â
âThank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,â he whispers back, kissing the top of your head.Â
âOf course, what are best friends for?âÂ
four.Â
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
 Falling in love with Wonwoo wasnât gradual at all.Â
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.
When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldnât fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didnât stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokĂŠmon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.Â
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.Â
When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates mustâve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man youâre in love with gained attention from people who didnât even bat an eyelash at him last year.Â
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didnât mean he was that much different from how he was last year.Â
Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time.Â
When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didnât invite you for dinner as often, you two didnât talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasnât worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.Â
âI feel like I need to break up with Haein,â his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth.Â
Haein was Wonwooâs first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you werenât.
You couldnât bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?
Wonwooâs first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.
âOh. Why?â was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said.Â
ââDunno, I just donât like her anymore,â he admitted effortlessly.Â
You didnât know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically.Â
âWell, if thatâs what you think is right,â you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again.Â
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didnât care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didnât want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings.Â
Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they werenât. Heâs never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones.Â
five.Â
By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didnât exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you.Â
Youâve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him. The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him.Â
Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that itâs better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic youâve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios.Â
âWhat if he likes you back?âÂ
âYou never know until you try.âÂ
âTake the risk or lose the chance.âÂ
What if.Â
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesnât let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit.Â
The possibilities are endless, and youâd rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.Â
A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. Thereâs excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen.Â
7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5.Â
There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldnât help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that itâs something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldnât be anything out of the ordinary.Â
Everyone had planned to meet at Seokminâs place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldnât be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends.Â
Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasnât a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokminâs was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza.Â
Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know heâs outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is.Â
The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if itâs just from afar.Â
âHi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,â your voice resounds into the night.Â
âIt's never a problem if itâs you,â he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.Â
Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know youâll think about it for the rest of the night.Â
âAre you ready to go?â he asks, smiling at you.Â
The ride to Seokminâs house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.Â
âŚ
 The clock on Seokminâs pale white wall is nearing midnight and you donât want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didnât catch. Sheâs Joshuaâs childhood friend and he only brought her along because sheâs visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didnât matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwooâs deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you werenât sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesnât realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.Â
Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokminâs apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesnât even know. He doesnât know what heâs doing to you, and thatâs what hurts the most.Â
âYou doing okay?â Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.Â
âHuh? Oh. Yeah Iâm okay,â you chuckle, but thereâs nothing humorous about your laugh at all.Â
His eyes soften, he knows that youâre not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when youâre trying to save face. Thereâs a lump in your throat, and if you didnât have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably wouldâve gone to the bathroom to cry.Â
âYou wanna talk in my room?â he offers, and youâre grateful.Â
Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you.Â
Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside.Â
As you sit on Seokminâs bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why canât you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and heâd be the first person you search for.Â
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? Itâs tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that youâll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesnât love you back.Â
âItâs okay, just let it out,â Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug.Â
Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel. Â
âI know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,â Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. âYouâre so hurt, and itâs taking a toll on you. Please, I canât bear to see you so sad.âÂ
His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though itâs not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself.Â
âI-Iâm sorry,â you hiccup, tears staining Seokminâs white shirt.Â
âWhy are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,â he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions.Â
âBecause, if I was normal, you wouldnât have to worry about me, about why Iâm always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,â you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist.Â
âHey, look at meââ he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. âYou are not a burden. We care, thatâs why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.âÂ
âThank you, Seokmin. Iâm so happy that I have someone like you in my life,â you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but heâs still somehow able to hug you even tighter.Â
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. Heâs always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.Â
âIâm so tired, Iâm tired of feeling like this,â you admit to him.Â
Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile.Â
âMaybe itâs time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,â he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you.Â
âI want to feel better,â you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest.Â
âI care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but thereâs a point where youâll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,â he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know heâs right. âIn the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in wonât do you any good.â He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said.Â
âThank you, Minnie, Iâm so thankful I have you,â you sniffled.Â
âAnd I you.âÂ
âŚ
Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night.Â
âOf course, itâs really no trouble at all,â Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them.Â
The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokminâs, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. Heâs not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoungâs way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened.Â
As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didnât mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ.Â
âSoon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,â Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead.Â
âBut you love it when I sing,â Soonyoung whines, and you canât help but laugh.Â
âI do, but our friend has had a long night,â Jihoon counters.Â
Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. âIf you want me to be quiet, I will.âÂ
âNo, itâs okay, Iâm actually enjoying it, thank you very much,â you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics.Â
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind. Â
The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you.Â
Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didnât know where else to go or what else to do.
Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and youâre scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep.Â
1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok?Â
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
chapter one.Â
Wonwooâs ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but heâs too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didnât even say goodbye. Itâs the first time you went home from Seokminâs place without him.Â
By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didnât want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning.Â
Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing.Â
He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two?Â
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, itâs him thatâs doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether youâre going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he canât stand that feeling.Â
Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least thatâs what he forces himself to believe. That itâs not fair of you to ignore him when heâs worried about you, because heâs your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been.Â
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps heâs conceited and selfish, but he doesnât care. Because in his mind, youâre his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesnât even consider it a possibility. You were busy, thatâs it. That has to be it.Â
âŚÂ
Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldnât stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him.Â
12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?
Nothing. Not even a thumbâs up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing thatâs so important that you couldnât even open his message let alone read them?Â
1:27 p.m. [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didnât give it to her though đ
Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He canât believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes itâll be the text that finally gets you to respond.Â
2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u shouldâve seen it! reminded me of u. [1 photo attachment]Â
Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of whatâs worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.
4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today?Â
The sight of you getting into Seokminâs car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.Â
4:30 p.m. [wons <3]: saw u get into seokminâs car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw.Â
Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just canât stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back.Â
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, heâs unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.Â
two, wonwooâs summer before senior year.Â
The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over.Â
Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that heâd be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadnât been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldnât help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him.Â
He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldnât be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.
Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldnât care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldnât do much but sit back and listen. Â
Much to his dismay, his parents hadnât even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldnât stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say.Â
There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldnât bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore.Â
âWonwoo! Youâre all grown up now, and I canât believe it,â Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, âYou know, youâre still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?âÂ
Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression.Â
âNo they do, I donât know maybe itâs my fast metabolism or something,â he refuted her claims. He couldnât wait to get out of her sight.Â
âYou know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,â she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance.Â
âYeah maybe,â he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not youâve texted him yet.Â
It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldnât be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.Â
[4:15 p.m. kst] [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved] [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point iâve turned all my mirrors backwards] [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! đŤś]
He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parentsâ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.Â
Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat.Â
Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all.Â
[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment] [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing] [you: u better not snitch đž] [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS] [you: ok thats enuffâŚtxt me when u land!]
Wonwoo really missed you.Â
âŚ
One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it.Â
He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break.Â
It was initially his brotherâs convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwooâs shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seonghoâs encouragement had finally paid off.Â
Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasnât so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasnât all that bad-looking, after all.Â
Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home.Â
âYou got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,â Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest.Â
His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym.Â
âOkay! Youâre done, that was good,â his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips.Â
âThanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,â he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle.Â
Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement.Â
âUh, donât look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,â Seongho tilted his head in the girlâs direction and Wonwoo couldnât be more confused.Â
âHuh? Are you sure it's me theyâre looking at and not you?âÂ
âIâm serious! You should go talk to her,â Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo.Â
âHyung!â Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses.Â
Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation heâd been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord.Â
âHi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?â she asked him, batting her eyelashes.Â
âUhm, I guess? Iâm only here for the summer though,â he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say?Â
âOh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.â Haeinâs smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwooâs.Â
Wonwooâs actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.Â
âIâm Wonwoo.âÂ
âWonwoo, hmm, thatâs a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,â she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep.Â
Wonwooâs mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number.Â
They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer.Â
To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since heâs been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ahâs words werenât so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation.Â
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.Â
âŚ
The after-effects of Wonwooâs surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadnât worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldnât find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for.Â
Wonwoo wasnât entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on.Â
Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time.Â
âŚ
Quite like the seasons, Wonwooâs feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them.Â
Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested.Â
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didnât Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didnât see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks.Â
âIt all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!â Wonwoo couldnât contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didnât seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out.Â
âI'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,â Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. âI just didnât get anything that was happening.âÂ
âWait, really?â He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didnât understand.Â
He didnât understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday.Â
You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together. It had become you and Wonwooâs thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend.Â
It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he shouldâve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do.Â
âHonestly, Iâm really tired, Iâm gonna go to bed now okay?â Haeinâs voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts.Â
âOh okay. Night.â He said before ending the call so quickly that Haeinâs âI love youâ was cut off mid-sentence.Â
Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didnât want to say those words if he didnât mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night. Â
Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didnât want to pretend any longer, it wouldâve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldnât help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on.Â
Wonwooâs relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldnât keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasnât sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.Â
three, present time.
The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didnât know that.Â
âAre you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?â Mingyu lectures him.Â
The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwooâs mind couldnât help but wonder. He hasnât been acting like himself since the night of Seokminâs party.Â
âOh, right.â Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table.Â
Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasnât seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop.Â
âNot to be rude, but youâve been looking like shit lately. Whatâs wrong?â Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows.Â
Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didnât have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins heâs had with you and Seokmin on campus, heâs begun to sense that itâs some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that itâs completely unwarranted.Â
Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. Itâs uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he canât help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you.Â
Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, thereâs a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end.Â
âThanks for that, asshole, I just havenât been getting much sleep,â Wonwoo huffs.Â
âOkay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way youâve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?â Mingyu presses.Â
Itâs not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, thatâs what you were for. However, he canât talk about his problems about you, to you, so heâll have to settle for the next best thing. Â
âY/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokminâs,â Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice.Â
For the past two weeks, heâs been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest.Â
Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friendâs situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyuâs reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny.Â
âServes you right, youâre a dick to her, man.â Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.Â
âWhat?â Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend?Â
âHow blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you canât see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?â Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.Â
âI am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if Iâve ever said something to hurt her feelings,â Wonwoo defends himself.Â
Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he canât seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasnât a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you.Â
âYouâre a dumbass.â Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more.Â
âCould you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me whatâs going on?âÂ
Shutting his laptop, Mingyuâs posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it.Â
âShe cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. Itâs not about what youâve said to her, itâs your actions. Ever since we were in high school all youâve done is use her to solve your problems. I canât even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I donât know what happened at Seokminâs place for her to realize that, but you donât deserve her,â Mingyu confesses.Â
Soaking up each word that left Mingyuâs mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he canât seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you?Â
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesnât want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth.Â
Itâs not fair. Itâs not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldnât tell him anything?Â
Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but thatâs romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because thatâs how it's supposed to be.Â
Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwooâs whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he canât anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but heâs pushed you so far to the brink that youâd rather ignore him than attempt to hash out whatâs been troubling you.
âI-I didnât know that's how you guys saw our friendship,â Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend whatâs been said to him.Â
âItâs not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I wouldâve cut you off a long time ago.âÂ
âWell, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this couldâve been said before she started ignoring me,â Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.
âIt was kinda obvious, man,â Mingyu shrugs.Â
âWas it, though? If I had known, I wouldâve at least tried to be better,â Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy.Â
âHow about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,â Mingyu suggests.Â
Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyuâs advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldnât even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he canât go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought.Â
four.Â
For the first time in Wonwooâs life, heâs unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time.Â
Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place.Â
Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldnât help himself. He canât help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. Heâs such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?Â
After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwooâs attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye.Â
âShit!â Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you werenât able to recognize it in the dead of night. Â
Boring holes into the back of Seokminâs head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he shouldâve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.Â
The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He canât help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokminâs visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.Â
Heâs never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today.Â
Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he canât ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didnât go on any longer.Â
âŚ
There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times heâs tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind. Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away.Â
Thereâs a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that youâre still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldnât pick up.
Wonwoo wasnât the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways heâs never acted before.Â
The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake.Â
One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose?Â
Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.Â
[12:52 a.m.]Â [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?]Â [not delivered]Â
The silence within the four walls of Wonwooâs bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list.Â
Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwooâs finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you donât pick up, then thatâs it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms.Â
âThe number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,â an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.Â
The notification is gut-wrenching, but he canât just sit here and pretend like itâs okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off?Â
five.Â
Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasnât been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but itâs almost two in the morning and heâs still continuing to weigh his options.Â
Itâs either youâll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or youâll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect.Â
Heâs already lost his mind. This shouldnât be the way you two break it off. It wonât be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation.Â
Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. Thereâs nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.Â
Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, âI think I should be asking you that. You clearly donât live here.âÂ
âMinnie? Is someone at the door?â your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summerâs day.Â
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth.Â
Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.Â
âYeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,â Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwooâs. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokminâs expression had said more than his words ever could have.Â
Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokminâs thick skin.Â
A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwooâs tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your âneighbourâ is looking for.Â
âOkay!â is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwooâs stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen.Â
âWhatever youâre doing, sheâs not gonna fall for it,â Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could.Â
Seokmin chuckles bitterly, âShe already has.âÂ
There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth.Â
Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such.Â
âYouâre fucking sick, you know that?â Wonwoo practically spits in his face.Â
âI could say the same thing for you,â Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, âI didnât have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.âÂ
âIâm not just going to let you get away with something like this. Sheâs my best friend.âÂ
âI think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,â Seokmin taunted.Â
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didnât expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.Â
Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, âI think itâs time for you to leave. She doesnât want to see you.â
The last few words that he heard come out of Seokminâs mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost.Â
âBy the way, donât text her anymore. Iâve made sure she wonât get any more notifications from you.âÂ
The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldnât just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.Â
âŚ
Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didnât matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place.Â
After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.
With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokminâs words hold any truth behind them.
 Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldnât end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same.Â
If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you havenât let him speak.Â
As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?Â
Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like itâll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away.Â
After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension wonât vanish and itâs starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing itâll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin.Â
âMinnie? Did you leave something agaiâ,â Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.
âWonwooâŚâ your voice falters, like you genuinely didnât expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door.Â
âDid you fuck him?â Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.Â
His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesnât have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home.Â
âDid you fuck him? Yes or no?â Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you donât know who he's talking about. âCâmon, you know who Iâm talking about,â he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him.Â
How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps itâs undeserving to do so, but Wonwooâs frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.Â
âThe past two weeks youâve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?â Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness.Â
He didnât plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression couldâve broken down every wall heâs built if only he hadnât let his anger proceed him.Â
Wonwoo shouldâve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down.Â
âSeokmin doesnât care about you, and Iâll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?â He canât stop talking.Â
âStop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?â You cut off his rant. âOut of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesnât matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesnât involve you.âÂ
âNo. Iâm just trying to help you. Seokmin isnât the person that you think he is,â Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how youâre twisting his words.Â
The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwooâs extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldnât stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.Â
âThat is exactly what weâre not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years weâve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and Iâm tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didnât care enough to notice.Â
âI gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldnât even come up for air. And Iâm just sick of it. I know thereâs a part of you that cares about me too, but itâll never be equal. Iâll always love you more than you love me, and I donât want to feel this way anymore.âÂ
âWhat hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didnât even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about? He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And thatâs a lot more than I could ever say about you.âÂ
Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words.Â
âIâm sorry,â is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause.Â
âPlease. Itâs late, you should go home,â you sigh, but Wonwoo couldnât move an inch. He refused.Â
âIâm sorry,â he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him.Â
âWonwooâŚâ there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place.Â
âPlease. Iâm so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,â Wonwoo resorted to pleading.Â
A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.
The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too.Â
âItâs time for you to go. Iâm tired, Wonwoo.â A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek.Â
He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart.Â
Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He shouldâve known.
He shouldâve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
end of act one.
âš a/n: if you liked this story pls dont be afraid to let me know thru a reblog, comment or ask! also a big ty to my beshies forever @vapidlynn and @bunnyjjongie who i've texted multiple times in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance abt this thing hehe.
#lola's recs <3#yall#this is easily one of the best wonwoo fics i ever read#i love it so much#can't wait to read part 2!!
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lonely st. ⧠chapter viii : the breaking point
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)
warnings: y/n has a bad panic attack, mentions of ed, y/n has trouble eating, felix and his mom, mentions of throwing up, medication, and racing thoughts
a/n: this chapter is really long i can't lie. i got carried away *laughs in obsessed, traumatized writer*
series masterlist | skz masterlist
"Oh, it's so warm in here," Hyunjin groaned, flopping into a chair. Y/n took a seat next to him cautiously, settling down warily and glancing around the store.
Bbokari's was exactly as Felix had said; a convenience store lined with rows and rows of snacks, household items, hygiene products, and even pet food. Not that it was uncommon, but sometimes it still threw Y/n to realise that people actually owned pets. Since she'd never had one of her own, she found herself wondering what owning an animal really entailed.
It can't be much different from taking care of Jisung, she reasoned idly.
The store lights overhead were golden, casting a warm glow over the four teens. The store was bigger than it had initially looked from the outside, with the main part of it being taken up by the shop items. A wall fridge ran along the left side of the store, filled with frozen products and treats, as well as a small, separated section for antibiotics and over-the-counter medications.
There was a small staircase up the back, lining the wall and leading up to what Y/n assumed to be Felix's house on the upper level. A countertop sat in front of it, where there were several automatic checkouts and a manual cashier box. Currently, no one was manning the cashier station.
She looked around from where she was currently sitting; this part of the store was set out like a little cafe; mismatched chairs and tables sat upon the polished, recently-cleaned wooden floors, sectioned off from the shiny linoleum of the convenience aisles.
There was a high bench with tall stools and a large window that ran the length of the wall, giving Y/n a view out into the street beyond. She could see little flowers and plants bobbing their heads and leaves against the glass, moving in the cold, post-storm wind.
On the opposite side from the window, there was another wall and a long wooden countertop, on which sat several microwaves, a kettle, a coffee maker, and a small cupboard containing tea and coffee additions. Y/n noticed there was also a large biscuit jar with a little scribbled drawing of a chicken on the glass, with 'FELIX' written underneath it.
She settled back in her chair; Felix had gone upstairs to fetch something, and had told them to wait downstairs. Jisung and Hyunjin were busy fighting over the last chip from the bag they'd nicked from Felix's lunchbox, and Y/n sat quietly and observed them, not having much else to do apart from survey her surroundings.
She turned just as Felix came down the staircase, weaving amongst the shelves before standing in front of them, breathless.
"Sorry, I had to go check where my mom was. She's out the back but she'll be in soon, so we can go upstairs."
The boys moved to get up, Jisung snatching the chip from between Hyunjin's lips, and followed Felix. Y/n did the same, weaving through the shelves and standing beside him in the middle of the snack aisle. Felix turned back to her as Jisung and Hyunjin began taking food from the shelves, clearly comfortable with their surroundings.
"Take whatever you want," he smiled at her kindly. "You don't have to pay because it's your first time here."
Y/n waved her hands, stuttering. "N-no, it's okay, I'll pay."
Felix opened his mouth to protest before a gentle, warm hand found its way onto her shoulder. Turning, she locked eyes with a taller, older woman with kindly eyes and dark hair tied up in a loose, messy knot. She smiled down at Y/n and it was immediately reminiscent of Felix's easygoing, casual grin, albeit tinged with a motherly kindness.
"Please, feel free to take whatever you like. No need to pay," she said, her voice soft and hospitable. "I insist."
Y/n's head buzzed. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting when Felix had said his mom, but it hadn't been this. She was so nice, and- normal.
"H-hi," she stuttered up at the woman, feeling like a small, lost child in the presence of this motherly figure.
Felix stepped up beside her, placing a gentle hand on Y/n's upper back. "Mom, this is Y/n. She's my new friend."
The woman nodded kindly at Y/n, her eyes crinkling at the corners in a warm smile. "Nice to meet you, Y/n. Please, call me Auntie. Everyone does."
"Okay," Y/n whispered, feeling suddenly warm at Felix's choice of phrasing. New friend.
The older woman smiled, nodding. She glanced behind the two of them to Hyunjin and Jisung, who were busy fighting yet again, this time over a packet of ramen buldak noodles.
Someone called out something from a door in the corner near the fridges, which Y/n assumed led out to the back supply area.
"Auntie, someone's calling for you," Jisung shouted cheerfully, his hands still tangled around Hyunjin's as they fought for the ramen packet.
She laughed, ruffling Felix's hair. "Thank you, Jisung. I need to go now, but have fun, Y/n. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."
She leaned down to Y/n and patted her shoulder, giving her a conspiratorial wink. "Maybe you can teach my son some manners while you're here."
"Mom," Felix protested, fighting a laugh. His mother brushed past him with a laugh even softer and went out the door, shutting it behind herself.
Felix took Y/n's shoulders and turned her towards the shelves, stocked with a variety of tasty snacks and colourful packets.
"Go on," he said encouragingly, before turning to wrestle the ramen packet out of Jisung and Hyunjin's hands.
With Felix's attention off of her, Y/n gulped, frozen in the middle of the aisle. The packaged foods seemed to taunt her with their cutesy cartoon characters and colourful patterns, and their shiny plastic coverings and packages made her eyes hurt as they shone against the golden lights hanging overhead.
She began to feel a bit sick.
Felix and his mother had insisted she take something without the need to pay for it, which meant she had to eat something. In front of Felix and his friends. And he would certainly pinpoint that something was off if she insisted she wasn't hungry. Not for the first time did she half-heartedly curse his unusually perceptive nature.
She swallowed a thick wad of saliva, trying to quell the growing grumbling in her stomach. Sucking her stomach in a little, she exhaled with some difficulty, feeling like she'd been punched hard in the gut all of a sudden.
Trying to suck air into her lungs, but feeling winded, she looked around, eyes darting increasingly quickly around the room. She looked everywhere but she couldn't see at all, unable to focus on anything but the growing buzzing sensation spreading up her neck, settling into the crevices of her hands and ankles.
She suddenly felt wobbly on her feet and her hand moved to fidget frantically with the strap of her bag, unfocused and shaky.
Hyunjin and Jisung were still whining and arguing loud enough that Y/n's frantic, uneven breathing couldn't be heard over the din. She stood, mouth parted, unable to do anything but stare at the shelf and hyperventilate, feeling absolutely stupid and pathetic.
Felix finally managed to disengage the now-crushed ramen packet from the boys' laser-tight grip and shoved them both down the aisle, scolding them lightly. Both of them disappeared around the corner to the fridges, bickering lightly about some nonsense.
Sighing and rolling his eyes, Felix deposited the colourful packet back onto its rightful place on the shelf before turning around. His eyes widened at the sight of his friend. He gazed at her in mild confusion, not understanding.
"Y/n?" He asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
Felix's panic grew as Y/n shook her head shakily, unable to speak. He looked around for something that might help her calm down, finding nothing but wanting nothing more than to help his friend.
Jisung's had panic attacks before, he told himself firmly, composing himself. He always said that anything cold helps to ground him. Or physical contact... But I might scare her if I touch her suddenly. Should I go get Mom? Or would that make it worse?
Hyunjin, who had come round the corner again, presumably to complain about Jisung, noticed Felix standing motionless next to a hyperventilating Y/n, his hands out, unsure and worried.
"Y/n," he whispered, his mind going blank. Dropping his bag onto the floor, Hyunjin rushed down the aisle, moving to stand next to Felix. He placed a gentle hand on Y/n's arm, her body turning slightly to seek out his touch like a drawing magnetic force.
He enveloped her in a firm, warm hug, letting his chin rest on the top of his head, him having always been taller than her. Felix touched Hyunjin's shoulder and padded down the aisle, his mind set on distracting Jisung so Hyunjin and Y/n could have some privacy.
"It's okay," Hyunjin whispered to her, feeling her hands ball in the fabric of his blazer. "Don't worry."
"I'm sorry," she gasped into him, her voice faraway and timid, broken through with heaving pants.
Hyunjin shook his head, eyes closing as he stroked her hair in a reassuring, constant pattern. "Don't be sorry. It's okay. Can you take a deep breath?"
Y/n leaned back slightly and took in a shaking, hesitant draw-in of breath, Hyunjin encouragingly patting her back.
"There you go," he cooed at her, fighting the urge to kiss the top of her head.
'I'm sorry," she whispered again.
"Don't be. What happened, hmm?"
Y/n bit her lip, face still buried in Hyunjin's chest. He was so warm, and he smelled good. In the quietest voice, so small she was sure he wouldn't hear, she spoke.
"I can't eat," she said helplessly. "It's so difficult and my mind won't stop-"
Hyunjin peered down at her, glancing over his shoulder as Jisung and Felix went up the stairs. Felix shot him a subtle wink and Hyunjin nodded, turning his attention back to Y/n.
"That's okay. Have you eaten today?"
Silence.
Hyunjin sighed. "Let's get you something small to eat, okay?"
"No," Y/n protested fearfully, stomach churning.
"Just a little bit, hmm? Maybe you should rest first. Should I walk you home?"
"No," Y/n repeated instantly. She clutched tighter at him, her face burying further into his chest. "No, no, I can't go, I-"
"Hey, hey, it's okay," he quieted her gently. "Let's go upstairs to the others and you can just rest, okay? They won't say anything, I promise."
Y/n's voice was sad and subdued as she replied. "I ruin everything, Hyunjinnie."
Hyunjin's heart constricted and he tilted her chin up at him, feeling affection course through his veins at her vulnerable expression. "You don't ruin anything, Y/n. I need you to know that. And I'm proud of you."
She sniffed. "But I didn't do anything."
"I'm still proud."
"Okay," she said quietly.
"Can you walk?" He asked her gently. She shook her head, taking an experimental step.
She could walk, but she felt that any sort of effort-draining movement like walking or going up the stairs would probably make her disintegrate into little Y/n-shaped pieces on the linoleum. And if she was being honest, she didn't really feel like letting go of Hyunjin. She expected him to step back and tell her that she would be fine, and that she could walk up the stairs herself. Either that, or if he was feeling kind, he would take her arm and guide her up the stairs.
What she hadn't expected was Hyunjin looping an arm around the backs of her knees and putting the other around her shoulders before lifting her bridal-style from the ground with little to no effort at all.
"Hyunjin," she squeaked, clutching his shoulder, deathly afraid of falling.
He just chuckled and began walking up the stairs, holding her close to his torso. Y/n looked up at him, feeling the buzzing in her hands and feet subside as it was replaced with Hyunjin's warmth, bleeding into her body and caressing her skin through her uniform.
She leant her head cautiously on his shoulder, and Hyunjin was glad her head was laid on the right side of his torso, so she wouldn't be able to feel his heart practically beating out of his chest.
He set her down at the top of the stairs, pushing her gently into the large, open-plan living room. There was a small countertop sectioning off a kitchenette in the far corner, and two doors led into what Y/n assumed to be Felix's and his mother's separate rooms. There was a door on the opposite side that presumably led to a bathroom.
Ahead of them, Jisung and Felix sat on a plush couch facing a TV on a long, low cabinet, and sunlight spilled in great amounts through the mid-to-ceiling length window next to it.
There was a smaller, low table in front of the couch and Jisung was eagerly leaning on it as he pressed the buttons on his controller, apparently playing some sort of game with Felix on the TV. There was a fluffy, creamy, well-worn rug under the coffee table, matching the colour of the walls.
All of the furniture was cream, beige, or a light shade of brown, save for the mismatched cushions on the couch, making the room seem as bright, comforting, and cheery as Felix's warm smile.
Jisung groaned as his character took damage, sagging back onto the foot of the couch. He looked across and gestured Hyunjin and Y/n over.
"Wanna play?" He asked, offering the controller to Y/n.
She shook her head, suddenly exhausted, and Jisung nodded understandingly, turning back to the TV. Felix smiled empathetically at her over his shoulder, nodding his head at her in a silent question.
Y/n nodded back and a grateful smile ghosted her features as Felix moved to turn the video game's volume down. Hyunjin took a snack from the haphazard assortment on the coffee table and passed a little packet of sweets to Y/n, collapsing comfortably onto the couch.
She took the packet and sank down onto the cushions next to him. letting out a soft groan as it enveloped her body. Closing her eyes, and glancing across at Hyunjin, who was apparently busy watching Jisung play on his controller, she hesitantly took a sweet and put it in her mouth, letting the tangy flavour burst on her tongue.
A momentary surge of energy filled her and she moved to take her blazer off, leaning into the cushions. Her shoulder brushed Hyunjin's and he turned to her, his voice low and reassuring so only she could hear.
"You okay?"
She nodded, unable to stop her eyes from drooping. Hyunjin let out a soft chuckle and pulled her gently closer, guiding her head to rest on his shoulder. His heart jolted in his chest, though he'd been the one to initiate the contact.
The butterflies in Y/n's stomach slowly settled down to rest as her eyes sank shut with exhaustion.
Hyunjin sleepily opened his eyes.
The sunlight filtering into the room had dimmed slightly, taking on a warm, rosy glow, the kind that came with a late, slightly cloudy afternoon. He relished its warmth for a few moments before looking around the room.
He was alone; where Jisung had been sitting with Felix, playing a video game on the TV, there was only a small patch of ruffled, creamy rug to show that he'd ever sat there. Felix himself was nowhere to be seen; he was most likely downstairs, helping out his mom with the store.
Hyunjin moved to stretch an arm over his head, suddenly feeling a great weight on his chest. He was draped over the plush, comfortable couch, long legs bent as he slouched against the arm. His head was cushioned against a pillow which he recognised to be Felix's. He must have put it there after he'd fallen asleep.
He ran a hand through his messy hair, looking down to see why he felt so weighed down. His heart jolted suddenly and began to attempt to escape his ribcage altogether.
Y/n was fast asleep against his chest.
Hyunjin gulped before laying his head back against the pillow, shuffling slightly under her as he readjusted. He hoped she wouldn't be woken by the banging of his heart inside his chest.
Gathering his wilting courage, he looked down at her; Y/n's face was as serene as he'd ever seen it, untroubled and at peace, with the relaxed expression that came when one slept.
Her hand was resting against his lower torso, fingers tangled into the fabric of his sweater vest. He realised his blazer was draped over her; Felix must have put it there, or Jisung. He didn't remember taking it off himself.
He wondered for a second what she might look like wearing his blazer; would the sleeves be too long for her? Would it hang past down her hips, or would the scent of his cologne weaved into the fabric mix with her body spray?
Hyunjin shook his head, feeling a little dizzy. He considered attempting to move her off of him, but decided against it; she needed to rest. And he had no intention of ruining the quiet, serene moment he'd somehow found himself in.
His hand shook as he lightly traced the curve of her head, feeling the soft, fluffy strands of her hair brush against his fingertips. His heart thudded so loud he could hear it in the quietness of the room, and he brought his hand up to his face, rubbing it tiredly against his cheek. His elbow accidentally bumped her head in the process and he froze, wondering if he'd woken her. He hadn't.
Phew.
Hyunjin let his head fall back onto Felix's pillow, mind wandering. Was it weird that he liked having her close like this? Or was it crossing the line? They were friends, after all...
And besides, she'd just had a panic attack. It wasn't wrong of him to stay close to her and comfort her. That was what she needed; comfort, and affection. All he was doing was taking care of her.
He let his lips part, a soft exhale puffing out of them. Letting his hand rest gingerly on her back, he drew absentminded patterns on the fabric of his blazer. Y/n shifted a little and Hyunjin's head snapped up to look at her, before settling back down with a sigh of relief.
Was it wrong to be this comfortable around her? Surely, as friends, it was fine. He wasn't doing anything wrong. It was normal.
This is normal, he told himself firmly. It's like if Jisung fell asleep on top of me. Which he has. But just because she's a girl, it doesn't mean it has to be any different.
He jumped a little as his phone buzzed. Checking quickly to see if he'd jostled Y/n, he pulled it out from the pocket of his blazer. It was a notification from one of the sports websites he followed.
Noticing a message alert, he distractedly checked his texts, forgetting about the sports site. There was one new message, which had been sent over half an hour ago.
He clicked on it.
sung đ§: did you get home good? i did
That's right, he remembered. Jisung left early, and alongside Felix, the boys had made it their tradition to check if the others had got home safe. Suddenly, Hyunjin felt bad for not replying. He typed quickly, hoping he was still online.
hyun đ¤Ą: sorry, i fell asleep. i'm still at felix's.
Jisung replied characteristically quickly; a knowing smile graced Hyunjin's elegant features. Jisung was always quick to respond to texts.
sung đ§: ahh i see sung đ§: i thought you got murdered sung đ§: i was hoping to get your inheritance đ
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, typing back.
hyun đ¤Ą: how kind of you hyun đ¤Ą: also, change my damn contact hyun đ¤Ą: you're the clown here, not me *'sung đ§' changed 'hyun đ¤Ą' to 'hyun bun đ'* hyun bun đ: jisung, ew! sung đ§: i can't lie man sung đ§: all those squats at basketball practice did you good
Hyunjin groaned, cheeks scarlet, and turned his phone off, tossing it onto the creamy rug below the couch, where it fell face-down, unharmed.
Resting his hand behind his head, he tilted slightly so he was looking up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. He could rest for a little longer. Not that he was able to get up; Y/n was still fast asleep, and he was losing feeling in his legs, which felt all staticky, but he didn't mind.
His mind wandered back to his previous train of thought; was it wrong for him to be holding her like this? She needed the comfort, and Hyunjin didn't realise it until he stopped and really thought about it, but he needed the comfort too.
When was the last time he'd been held for this long?
Rather, when was the last time he'd felt so loved? So seen?
Sure, he loved Jisung and Felix, and his family and everyone else who held a shred of meaning to him, but with Y/n, it felt different. Like his whole life, he'd been standing behind a steamed-up mirror, where people had only been able to see him distantly, and now Y/n had wiped away the condensation and seen him for who he was. Who he really was. And it scared him.
What if she didn't like him for who he really was? She'd been quieter around him lately; maybe it was a sign that she wished to pull away, that she didn't want to be friends with him anymore... Just the thought made his heart constrict. He couldn't lose her. She meant so much to him now, with her quiet but interesting nature, her amazing sketches and creative talents, her cool collection of keychains and pins and badges...
And he felt safe around her, like he could tell her anything and she would just listen. Without judging or making fun of him. He was sure, if she extended a hand, he'd take it without a singular shred of doubt in his mind. Even if he didn't know where she was leading him, he knew it would be somewhere warm, somewhere safe, somewhere where he was totally, unequivocally loved.
And it wasn't just that, either; Y/n understood him. More than he had initially realised, she'd been picking up on his body language, on his little habits.
Just the other day he'd seen her in the gym, tossing a basketball around the court by herself. And he'd wanted to join her so badly, but a part of him feared that if he got too close, Y/n would walk away. She would leave the same way she feared he would do to her.
Like a tug of war, you could never win until the other person gave in. And Hyunjin wanted it so badly. He wanted to tug on the rope and pull her closer and closer, and he wanted her to want it.
He wanted her to feel loved by him, but if he pulled too harshly, she would fall. And Hyunjin knew that if she fell, everything he'd worked so hard to build would all come crashing down on him like a colossal tidal wave, washing away any evidence of what was and what could have been.
Was it possible to become closer than they already were? Or was he already pushing it? It was the last thing he wanted, after he'd toiled so hard to bring her close, was to be the reason to push her away. He was grateful for the fact that she wasn't as wary around him as she had been, but he wanted more.
Was it wrong to want more?
Or was it too risky? He didn't know how much longer he could stay in this stalemate, torn between pulling back and pushing further. What if he became the reason she went over the edge? What did he want so badly, anyway? Was it her attention? Her affection?
No, he reasoned. She's given me both of those things before and I never wanted more of it like I do now. It's something else.
But what? What did he want so badly? Did he want her all to himself? Or was that just him being jealous? But why would he be jealous in the first place? Surely, if you loved someone, it wasn't possible to be jealous of them in the first place, since they were already yours-
Wait, loved?
Hyunjin's heart dropped out of his ribcage and plummeted until it reached somewhere around his knees.
He didn't love her, right? Surely not. He hadn't even known her for a long time. Usually you were supposed to be close friends with someone for a long, long time before you liked them... That was the only way it worked.
Love, Hyunjin concluded to himself, was only something that could be achieved through years of close friendship. And then the famed symptoms would kick in; feeling nervous around the person, increased heartrate in their presence, dreaming about them, not being able to think straight when they did something like brush your shoulder or walk home with you or fall asleep in your arms-
Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling a lot hotter than he had a minute before. The realisation slapped him in the face, as if someone had slapped him hard across both his cheekbones and punched him in the gut for good measure.
He was in love.
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I think the thing with Josephine and OCD is that while she's not aware of it specifically as a diagnosis, she very much does recgonize the fact that.... some manner of the habits and order which she inhibits upon herself are not actually the most logic based or needed
that, however, does not make it any less nerve wracking not to go through the processes
#yes maybe the tools in her lab *don't* need to be rearranged in that exact order and yes it is perhaps a waste of time to circle around and#check everything three times and no maybe she doesnt need to count all the bottles or-#but at the same time. well. she needs to check!#oc: josephine
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