#but at the same time. if i rationaly think about it

[mochela]

the body i own feels is different from the body i am

[0rah-s]

Guilt - chapter 2

Teenage!reader x various!genshin (platonic)

Tw: reader kinda has depression, some cursing (this should not be used as a mean to diagnose yourself!)

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language

Your mind raced?

What was happening?

Were you being robbed??

Whatever in hell was happening - someone was still in your house.

The most sensible thing to do would be to hide in an unconspicuous area of you bedroom: in the wardrobe? Under the bed? Behind the curtains? URGHHH all this thinking began to fry your brain.

Unfiltered murmurs passed through your doors due to the poor noise cancellation of your room ; there were multiple voices, meaning the level of danger and doubled if not trippled!

Curiousity had the best of you but thankfully stupidity hadn't - you had a message that was ready to be sent to the police immediately in case of danger (which told "there's an intruder/multiple intruders in my house and i am home alone, i live at *your adress* please send help). You opened your door praying for the door not to creak (and thank the heavens it did not).

You tip-toed your way nearer to the living room where the noise was coming from, and peaked at what was going on.

Your jaw droped; a group of... cosplayers??

That made no sense...

Before you had the time to compose yourself and think rationaly, you saw a very tall man picking up what seems to be a small journal.. was that..? YOUR BABY ALBUM PHOTO ?!?

You yelped in embarrassment and fear which gave your position away, half the people in your living room snapped their heads toward you.

You froze.

A tall and charismatic purple lady readied her spear, "Who goes there, explain yourself! "

And guess what ? That did not help calm down your anxiety ;D

Running was useless, you sent the message you typed before leaving your room to the police number and slowly walked up to the strangers with your hands in the air (your phone still held in your right hand).

"Ei, let's deal with this matter in a moderate manner" the tall man in a smart brown suit then looked at you "surely there must be room for negotiation. what is your reason for bringing us here and what do you require from us. I am certain we can reach a common ground" a shorter man in red and a green little girl nodded in agreement.

"As a sustainer of heavenly order i simply cannot accept! I will get my answers through whatever means." Her face couldn't possibly get sterner, if not for your exhaustion you would have been shaking in fear right this instant.

The same man that had graped you album interjected, "yeah, i think we should all chill out, that looks like a kid-" he walked walked up close and scanned you, looked at you dead in the eye, spun you around and side hugged you.

Huh ?

"But i bet they could be of help!" He exclaimed with the widest grin. The others stayed silent at the suggestion, it was worth a try.

"Say kid, d'you know where we are? Thats a pretty weird but nice place! " Was that a compliment?

Mustering up all the courage you could gather, you spoke.

"T-thank you ??"

"You're in my house right now... So inthenicestwaypossible shouldn't i be asking you who you are and what you're doing here?" You said as you avoided eye contact at all costs.

A blond person came forward in front of the purple lady (was it to make you feel safer?). "That's a fair claim, how about we answer eachother's question?" You nod in agreement.

He smiles at your willingness to cooperate,. "how about we start by introductions?"

The man still hugging you goes "OH oh ok I'll go first!!" *Ahem* "apart from the little green lady and the kid, everyone knows me here but but for the sake of my die hard fans - I'll go again. The name's arataki itto, a pleasure for the both of us" you couldn't help but chuckle and alas the oni had managed to calm your nerves.

"Is it truly safe to give our personal information to a stranger? For all we know this shy acts could be a facade to make us lower our guards" an angry green man said. A happier looking green man answer "we wont know unless we try!"

And each by turn introduce themselves, and then came you. Deep breath in, deep breath out. "My name is y/n and- oH SHIT!" The suddent rise in volume alarmed all people present in the room and set them back on the guards. "Oh geez i totally forgot i called the police on you! Wait a minute!!!"

You hurriedly unlocked your phone and went to the text message and improvised something (you typed: im sorry false alarm, those were my neighbours which my parents had given a spare of the keys to. I profusely apologizes!!)

You sighed in relief at the fact that they had not yet got onto you and were probably too bussy with other cases.

Still confused they all stare at you. "Is.. everything all right?" The person that introduced themselves as kazuha asks.

"Yes, i just realised that i had almost reported you to the authorities for breaking into my house haha...."

"How could you possibly have done it so fast?" The monst- ei said.

"With my phone i guess?"

"What's a pphhhone?"

God this is gonna take a while...

Tag list: @innuwu @mikoochaan @guess-i-die @thatdeadaquarius @slaylatus @astolary @shinydrakeon15 @scarlet703 @candyqueen10 @motherscrustytoenailclippings @namine123 @kokxm1 @percea @zyphyrr @amaisverydum

Im so incredibly sorry of the wait again ( ToT) the next chapter should arrive pretty fast !!!!

Ask to be tagged!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Studying as much as I can (5/10)

Study time: 2 hours

Sleep: 9 hours

Therapy: nope

Exercises: nope

Water: 3 full bottles (1.5 L)

Vitamins: yay!

Breakfast: yay!

I kept on my Personal Finances course this day.

Here's what I learned:

Module 1: Our Relationship with Money

- The financial world is getting increasingly complex by every generation. But our levels of financial education are not rising. The results are: hyperdebt and the fact that 3/4 of Brazilian families have trouble making their money last through the whole month

- Projects are means to make dreams come true. They are:

1. Temporary, with beginning and ending

2. Planned, executed and controled

3. Generate exclusive results

4. Have steps that succeed each other

5. Made and executed by people

6. Executed with limited resources

Here are the steps to make a project:

1⁰ step: you gotta know where you wanna get, and define with all the details you can the object of your dream

2⁰ step: establishing clear and objective goals to your project: this is the "how" of your plan

3⁰ step: internalize your vision of how the future could be if you reached your dream. Think about how it would be

4⁰ step: establishing intermediate steps and, on the course of executing, adjusting these steps, if necessary

5⁰ and last step: celebrate reaching your intermediate steps on your way.

- We live in a capitalist world, that stimulates consumism. It is not wrong to consume, but it's necessary to consume rationaly. Reason and emotion must be balanced in our choices with money

- Troca intertemporal (or intertime exchange?)

... it means the effects that our choices in the present have in our future life

... generally, anticipating consume brings with it the payment of fees

... generally, postergating consume brings with it the gaining of income

... none of these two options are inherently wrong or right; the important part is knowing which brings more advantages to us in the situation, looking at fees and income

- Necessities are different from desires. Both are important, but they're not equal. You can't treat a desire like a necessity, because desires are limitless

Module 2: Personal and Family Budgets

- Do you know how much you spend? And what you spend on?

- Do you know what exactly were your main expenses last year?

- Do you plan your spendings?

- Are you true to your plans?

- A superávit (surplus) in a budget is when your revenue is higher than your spending

- Family should participate in elaborating a budget if you spend money on them

- Here are the steps on making a budget:

1⁰ step: planing

... you gotta estimate your future revenue and your future spending

... remember fixed expenses and variable expenses

2⁰ step: registering

... we gotta register our daily spending somewhere. It can be paper, cellphones or computers, for example

... it is useful to register the means of payment (money, debit, credit)

3⁰ step: grouping

... we gotta organize our expenses by types, like food, transportation, fun...

4⁰ step: evaluation

... we gotta analyse our budget and reflect

... is our budget in a surplus or not?

... are our dreams part of our budgets?

... are our priorities being respected?

... are our dreams and goals compatible with our budgets?

... can we reduce unnecessary expenses?

... can we increase our revenue? Is it necessary?

- Before starting our savings, we gotta get rid of debt

- Once we get a surplus, it is useful to start separating our savings even before spending.

Ok! About studies! This day was a holiday, so I took 2 hours to study and took the rest of the day off.

I studied Information Technologies, and boy, do I have opinions about the Internet of Things...

Warning of zillenial-yells-at-clouds rant:

I hate the Internet of Things. Microwaves, freezers and air conditioners connected to the internet! Whyyyyy??? I don't want smart things, I want DUMB things. I want my devices to turn on with a (physical) button and to turn off the same way, and I want things connected by CABLES! NOTHING should be online unless it's necessary for it to work! APPLE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW MY FUCKING HEARTBEAT!

Yes, I'm an old young person and I want DUMB DEVICES!

Uff. Rant over. You can't tell my studies are not interesting.

Till the next time!

[keepingupwiththealfeans]

8th time rewatch of S1: HOT TAKES (but maybe not even that hot)

I will only be talking about the last ep. in the season, because I think that is one of the most important and core ones, because a lot happens in such a short period of time. Anyways, it my head this sounded way better when I watched the ep. and I didn't make notes, so if this is super messy for you, I'm sorry.

First things first, when I first watched Fate, I found Aisha a snitch too (just like Stella told her) and I was super angry at her for throwing her "friends" under the bus and not helping Bloom in her quest to find out who she is and where she is from. Aisha wanted to be close to Bloom troughout the whole season, she was even "called out" by Musa I think about this. But now as I watched it for the 8th I realized Aisha was just trying to protect Bloom from her own destruction. I don't know if the other girls weren't listening to how dangerous it is to let Rosalind out, and only Aisha realized the severity of the problem. So, her snitching on them to Farah is totally fair and I have to give the girl what she deserves. Actually Aisha was saving everyone's ass pretty much the whole season and she got so much shit for being a good and carying friend. And I love this arch for her, being a good friend and being the one rationaly thinking of all of them. But I am hoping to see for Aisha also something different. Here she felt like more like a support character to save everyone from their problems. My girl deserves much more than just being a support character, and hopefully she is getting that in S2.

Bloom is reckless. Very reckless and the doesn't think beforehand about her actions. We could clearly see it when thanks to her Rosalind got out, she let the burned ones in the school. Ok, she defeated them and it was super cool for Bloom to take responsibility for what she had done in her quest to find her answers. Her realization dawn on her the moment she saw Sam struggling for his life. I think she should have thought about it way beforehand. On the other side, I understand that she was desperate for questions and I can't blame her for that. But if she waited just one more day as Farah told her, nothing of this would have happened. For Bloom it was enough to have the support of her suitmates (-Aisha) to just go trough with everything.

They are all collectively responsible for what happened. It's 👏 not 👏 only 👏 Bloom's 👏 fault 👏This was brought up to me by @mindfairies a longer time ago when we had a talk about this fact. I like my faves and it's hard to acept the fact your faves do something bad (I am looking right at you miss STELLA). But I do accept that they all have a hand in what happened that night at Alfea. Including Farah, no matter how some try to explain her out of this problem. She wasn't honest with Bloom from the begining and if something, Bloom deserves to know everything what Farah knows about her. It isn't much, but still just a little info would have made Bloom a little more bearable. She promised her to help, but she put Bloom on the other track because she had different things to deal with. Of course, from a realistic point of view, you gotta do the things that matter more first. But when I see a 16 year old girl, who is super confused about who she is, I make my time to explain everything. Including Aster Dell. The adults are responsible for these kids and they don't want to endanger them, that is why they don't speak of the past. But hey listen, if they told at least Terra and Sam about Rosalind, who she was and what she has done, maybe Bloom wouldn't be so easily convinced about freeing her. Terra is a voice of reason many times, and I am sure if she KNEW who Rosalind was, she wouldn't let Bloom go trough with her plans. And same with Sam, who, if he knew, could have stopped them. So Ben Harvery, you're a sweet guy, but still you have your hand in this. So does Silva. Then we have Terra, Musa and Stella, who encouraged their friend to go trough with it. None of them knew the severity of what will happend if they help Bloom and they wanted to be good friends, that is why they supported her. Understandable. Still, Bloom isn't the only one to blame here for what happened, because every aspect in her life helped her to get there (minus Aisha, because I feel she is the only one left with a sense and self-preservation).

Riven is such a sub it's so hard not to see. I will say as it is: Riven will do anything for a pussy (especially for Beatrix's). Him seeing Dane trying to revive Beatrix and him being like yeah fuck that, let's go. But then staying when Dane reasons with him about how Beatrix is the only one to accept them. (Miss girl really said gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss on these two). AND HE STAYS!!! Him and Dane are so pussy-struck by Beatrix, I- anyways...

I wanna know WHY IS ANDREAS IN DEBT TO ROSALIND! LISTEN, they throw these accusations around like it's nothing and then they don't elaborate further!!!!

Did Rosalind put some kind of magic on Dane and Riven? Their eyes glowed when she walked in the greenhouse and for me, it's still a myster what happened. I am super uber scared.

Hopefully this is all and as I said, it's not even that much of hot takes anyway. Next time, I am making notes.

[rexcoatlarchive]

First meeting

Short story about when Rex (Me) and Quetz first met

*in Chaldea not long after the Fuyuki singularity*

Me: *walking towards the summoning room* the room's ready to use so it should be fine if I go their and finally use this Catalyst Gramps gave me. He said in the note it would summon a great mesoamerican warrior. Kinda vague but whatever. Considering the fucked situation we've seem to have find our selves in, we need all the help we can get.

*in the room*

Me: this is the place, I think just have to place the Catalyst near the circle and say some words or something. *notices SQ* hmmm? What are those? Maybe their a standard Catalyst or something? Well I got my own so this should be fine.

*gingerly places a large green feather near the circle*

Me: I remember Da Vinci saying the Fate summoning system was different from what they use for holy grail wars, so how exactly do I start this?

*notices a large lever in front of the circle*

Me: I guess that's it? *pulls the lever*

*summoning circle starts up*

Me: ah shit here we go. I wonder who I'm getting? I dunno much about mesoamerican figures aside from the gods so this will probably be a big surprise.

*the huge column of light appears in the center of the room and briefly shows the symbol of the rider class*

Me: I think that's the rider symbol. Didn't think the circle itself would show the class symbols though.

*the summoning ends and there stands Quetzalcoatl*

Me: *thinking* holy shit, she's beautiful! Good fucking lord I've never seen a woman so gorgeous!

Quetz: Hola! The goddess Quetzalcoatl has entered the ring! Oh? I was expecting nude priests, but instead we have an adorable little master. Hee hee, I don't suppose you're interested in taller older women?

Me: *without thinking* Yes I am very interested in taller older women, their my favorite kind! *now thinking rationaly* wait, Quetzalcoatl?! An actual God? I didn't think I could summon anyone that poweful!

Quetz: well we mesoamerican gods are a bit of an exception, but that's for another time. But I can't help but notice what you said beforehand, hmmm? We're you telling the truth about that?

Me: *mega nervous* well I did say it without thinking, but it was the truth so.... yeah....

Quetz: my you are so adorable! *picks me up and swings me around* *puts me down* I think this will be a good master/servant relationship

Me: *somewhat shaken* well I hope it is. Though I'm kinda new to the whole magecraft thing so there will be plenty of times where I'm confused so please be patient with me

Quetz: of course I'll be patient with you my cute little master!

Me: master is gonna take some getting used to. Same with being called cute.

Quetz: aww, has no one called you that before? How sad

Me: it's alright. Another thing I'm not used to is seeing someone so much taller then me

*Quetz stands more than a good foot above me*

*the door to the room opens and in comes Romani, Da Vinci, Mash and the Gudas*

Romani: *taking to the Gudas* here's the summoning room *notices me and Quetz* so this is where you were? We were looking for you, you know

Mash: hello senpai!

Me: hi Mash! And I got a little impatient and I had a Catalyst already so I went ahead and used it

Rikka: well who the hell is she?

Rikko: she's beautiful!

Da Vinci: and huge

Quetz: Hola! I'm the goddess Quetzalcoatl! Here in response to my master's summons!

All: GODDESS!?

Mash: that's amazing senpai!

Romani: how the hell did you summon a goddess!?

Me: *picks up the catalyst* feather

Da Vinci: it cannot be that simple!

Me: hey I dunno what to tell you guys, I placed the feather down pulled the lever and Bam! The most beautiful woman in the world appeared!

Quetz: oh master you flatter me!

Mash: maybe it belonged to her?

Quetz: *actually looking at the feather* maybe it was one of mine? Sometimes they fall off when I'm flying around in serpent form so maybe that's it?

Me: well whatever the reason I'm more then happy with my first servant. In fact I think I've already peaked with her.

Rikka: man I hope we can get servants half as cool as her

Me: I'm sure you guys will get cool servants

Da Vinci: it's going to be far more random without a special catalyst though

Mash: don't worry senpais, you still have me!

Rikko: well thank you Mash, our precious Kouhai!

That's the end of this story for now, I'll try to do more of these more often. Also going to tag a few other mastersona bloggers in case they wanna read this and say anything since they're some big inspirations for me doing this

@panyum @yet-another-saberface

[annecoulmanross]

Latin Inscription for the Foundation-Stone of Christ’s College in Van Diemen’s Land

Following this brilliant post by @indifferent-century​, I was inspired to translate the entirety of the Latin inscription of the Foundation-Stone of Christ’s College in Van Diemen’s Land, November 7th, 1840, as written by – perhaps – Sir John Franklin’s future son-in-law, John Philip Gell, who was appointed as head of the College. Join me for some Janky-Franky shenanigans, this time in Latin!

First of all, here’s a full translation (rearranged to preserve our English word order, generally, rather than the original Latinate style.)

Sir John Franklin, KCH, FLS, FRGS, Governor of the Island of Tasmania, Dedicated to Christ This House of All Humanities and Sciences, and Ordered that It Be Made, according to the Judgement of the Council and from the Funds of the Colony, and Placed this Auspicious Stone in the Fourth Year of the Reign of Queen Victoria, on the seventh day before the Ides of November, 1840.

Respected men from each of the two councils took part: Sir William Henry Elliott, Military Commander; Sir John Lewes Pedder, Chief Justice; William Hutchins, M.A., Archdeacon; Matthew Forster, Colonial Secretary; Adam Turnbull, Colonial Treasurer; Josiah Spode, Chief Police Magistrate; Edward Macdowell, Attorney-General; George Thomas William Blaney Boyes, Accountant; George Henry Barnes, Collector of Customs; Thomas Anstey; Thomas Archer; Charles Swanston; Charles Maclachlan; William Effingham Lawrence; William Page Ashburner; Michael Fenton; with John Philip Gell, M.A., having been placed in charge of educating the youth, and with Alexander Cheyne as the Curator of Public Works.

James Clark Ross and That Companion of His, Francis Crozier, While They Were Preparing to Bring Powerful Science and the Immortal Name of the English People through the Unknown Things of the Northern Ocean, Took Part in this Endeavor under Favorable Auspices and with Enthusiasm.

Next, the original text: this Latin wording comes mainly from this typeset transcription, with some emendations from the handwritten notes of Eleanor Franklin, which you can read here. (Both of these sources were found and linked originally by @indifferent-century​ – thank you!) 

Christo Dicatam Hanc Omnis Humanitatis et Scientiæ Domum Johannes Franklin (1) Eq. PH., (2) Eq. R., (3) LL.D. (4) R.S.S. (5) Insulæ Tasmaniensis (6) Præses [e] Consilii Sententia (7) Impensis Coloniæ (8) Fieri Jussit Lapidem Auspicalem Posuit Anno Victoriæ Quarto vii Id. Nov. MDCCCXL. (9)

Interfuere Viri (10) Spectatissimi Ex Utroque Consilio (11) Gulielmus Henricus Elliott Eq. H. Milit. Præfect. (12) Johannes Lewes Pedder Eq. Aur. Justiciarius Principalis (13) Gulielmus Hutchins M.A. Archidiaconus Matthias Forster Secretarius (14) Adam Turnbull Thesaurarius (14) Josias Spode Irenarches (14) Edvardus Macdowell Procurator Regius (14) Georgius Thomas Gulielmus Blaney Boyes Rationalis (14) Georgius Henricus Barnes Portitoriis Conquirendis Præpositus (14) Thomas Anstey Thomas Archer Carolus Swanston Carolus Maclachlan Gulielmus Effingham Lawrence Gulielmus Page Ashburner Michael Fenton Juventuti Educandæ Præposito Johanne Philippo Gell M.A. Operum Publicorum Curatore Alexandro Cheyne

Jacobus Clark Ross Et Huic Comes Franciscus Crozier Per Ignota Septentrionalis Oceani [Scientiam Efficacem]  Anglorum Perenne Nomen Laturi Incepto Bene Auspicato Lubenter Interfuere (15)

And last, as per the previous discussions on this inscription, I also have footnotes.

(1) Yes, "Johannes Franklin” is our Sir John. Yes, this would be a reasonable, etymologically valid version of his name (or his first name, at least) in Latin. Yes, it’s uncomfy. So is “Franciscus Crozier.” As @catilinas​ said, “utterly terrible.”

(2) Amazingly, the translator (or author-translator) of this inscription has rendered Sir John’s post-nominal letters (indicating his knighthood, and membership in certain societies) into Latin and then abbreviated them back to letters. This cluster, “Eq. PH.,” equates to the English ‘KCH’ or Knight Commander of the Royal Guelphic Order of the House of Hanover, and should probably be lengthened to something like Eq[ues] P[raefectus] H[anoverianus] meaning “Hanoverian Knight Commander.”

(3) Our next letter-cluster is “Eq. R.,” which I’m finding terribly confusing. “Eq.” should, in theory, correspond to another knighthood – it lengthens to “eques,” which is classical Latin for “knight,” a middling elite honorary position, but I don’t know about the “R.” It does seem that Franklin was knighted by King George IV in 1829 before he was made a Knight Commander of the Royal Guelphic Order in 1836, so perhaps we should read this as something like Eq[ues] R[egalis] / R[egius] meaning “Royal Knight” or thereabouts?

(4) Now we’re back to normal post-nominal honors – “LL.D” must correspond to Franklin’s membership in the Linnean Society, normally indicated by the letters “FLS,” or “Fellow of the Linnean Society.” I’m not entirely sure how we get from FLS to LLD, but perhaps LL[inneaniorum] D[ominus] meaning something like or “Master of the Linneans.” (Note that a doubled letter can be used as an abbreviation for a Latin plural genitive like “Linneaniorum,” as one can see in the Latin terminology for Bachelor of Laws, i.e. “Legum Baccalaureus,” or LL.B.)

(5) Similarly, I’m willing to bet that R.S.S. corresponds to Franklin’s other common post-nominal honor, his membership in the Royal Geographical Society, typically abbreviated as FRGS. One might try to expand “R.S.S.” to R[egalis] S[axiologorum] S[ocietas] meaning “Royal Society of Stone-studiers,” perhaps. I really, really wish I knew who translated these abbreviations and what their thought-process was.

(6) Watch Lady Jane sneak in her new name for Van Diemen’s Land here! (For the uninitiated: Lady Jane and James Clark Ross collaborated to have Van Diemen’s Land renamed – or at least re-popularized – as “Tasmania.”)

(7) Fun facts: I can 100% prove that Eleanor Franklin knew some Latin! In her transcription of this text, she places a macron (a little ^ hat) over the final ‘a’ like this: “sententiâ,” which means that she correctly identified that this word (meaning “judgement,” or “opinion”) is in the ablative case, rather than the nominative case. No macron would have appeared in the inscription; it would have been highly unusual for any inscription in Latin from any time period to have a macron, so this is all Eleanor’s doing, but she’s right to do it. Eleanor also adds that slightly unnecessary but not incorrect “e” (meaning “from, out of”) before the word “Consilii” in her transcription.

(8) It’s a little weird to point out that Sir John didn’t directly fund the construction of Christ’s College but rather arranged for the funding to come from the income of the colony itself. This would look really out of place in a commemorative inscription from the classical period.

(9) This date does in fact convert to November 7th, 1840, but it’s not as simple as the Roman numerals VII (=7) make it look. To get this date, we actually have to count backwards from the Ides of November, which fall on November 13th, but the Romans count inclusively, so thirteen less seven actually equals seven, rather than six. I know. I hate math too.

(10) Eleanor Franklin writes this word (“viri”) twice, once at the end of one line, and again at the beginning of the next. As for the translation of this word as “men,” yes, it’s exclusively male-gendered in the Latin.

(11) I think “from each of the two councils” refers to the Legislative Council and the Executive Council, the two governing bodies of Van Diemen’s Land before the establishment of the Tasmanian House of Assembly in 1856. Take that with a BIG grain of salt. It’s also particularly interesting to note that many of the men here named became embroiled in the huge political mess that resulted in the ignominious end of Sir John’s term as governor – this list represents both the pro-Franklin and anti-Franklin sides of the conflict.

(12) The title “Milit. Præfect.” or (something like) Milit[aris] Præfect[us] reflects Sir William Henry Elliott’s military role as the Lieutenant-Colonel of Van Diemen’s Land, while “Eq. H.” is most probably Eq[ues] H[anoverianus] or a way of denoting Elliot’s knighthood in the same Hanoverian order as Sir John, though in a different capacity – Knight / KH to Sir John’s Knight Commander / KCH.  

(13) The title “Justiciarius Principalis” is a clear Latin translation of Johannes Lewes Pedder’s legal role the first Chief Justice of Van Diemen’s Land, and “Eq. Aur.” seems to allude to a  knighthood conferred via the Commonwealth nation of Australia, perhaps? 

(14) Some of these titles are deeply weird ways of rendering colonial government positions into Latin: “Portitoriis Conquirendis Præpositus” for “Customs Collector” is A Lot – the literal translation would be something like “President for the Things Connected with Import or Export Dues that Must be Collected.” Confession: I took most of the English titles directly from the relevant entries in the Australian Dictionary of Biography, all of which are linked above, in the translation.

(15) For more on this Ross & Crozier section, see this post. Also, note the major stylistic change in these last four verses: lots of intertextual references, and more poetic language – much of it Augustan (aka mainly from Ovid and Vergil) as @kaserl​ pointed out! It’s a conspiracy theory, but I think we may be looking at a different author altogether: Lady Jane prefiguring her role as ghost-writer of “Thy bees are frozen, and thy crook’s a name,” we might imagine?

Thank you for joining me on this very weird Victorian neo-Latin journey!

[laravenus]

Just my thoughts

From time to time I meet someone new and the first question they ask me is why are you single?

I can’t help but always interprete this question as wtf is wrong with you!

Well nothing is wrong with me, I am just intelligent enough not to play games men like to play. I want to have serious relationship build on the mutual respect and with someone who is mature enough to know what he or she want.

Whenever I get this kind of a question from a man, I know there is something wrong with him, because if he asks me this questions, I know he is searching for excuses to back off as soon as things would go bad. Basically it seems like an escape plan you make before even the fire starts.

Let me give you some examples: at the moment I am not dating anyone nor I am interested in anyone I know, but I have few male friends with whom potentialy something could have started if they just put the same amount of effort in it as me.

It really pisses me off, that even to keep the friendship going (nothing more, just plane old friendship without ‘benefits’) that it has to be me all the time who iniciates the conversation.

Yesterday I wanted to chat, so I sent a message to a friend that I know for a years (but we started to chat a little bit more in the last few months) a message, ment as a joke ‘look he doesn’t even remember me, not even a single message...’ it was suppose to be a funny icebreaker to iniciate the conversation, but his answer took me by surprise, since he said, I don’t want to rush the things, I need to be carefull. I was in a bit of a shock since it felt like a knife in the back. Ok, I am a scorpio, we are quite intense and possessive even towards our friends, but I am not going around breaking people’s hearts as a joke. I remember I always tried to hard not to hurt someone, I even forgot about myself and got myself hurt, but I am tough enough to survive a heartbreak.

I prefer to rationaly think about something and I don’t mindlessly jump into a relationship ... but I prefer to see, how much is the other person willing to invest in a relationship to make it work. Most of the time I see, that men prefer to be chased by the girls, and they just keep the one who throws herself about their neck and they keep f... every other girl who is willing to let them. Sorry, but I am too old and not nearly enough stupid to accept that.

But if someone tells me he is carefull and doesn’t want to rush the things because he is afraid to take risk, during the time we are just starting to get to know each other, I don’t know if I should keep trying ... I feel like he betrayed my trust, and that there is no point for me even to make an effort because he is not ready to take a risk and spend some time to see if this is ment to be.

Unfortunately, every time I give up like that, and start seeing men like this as just friends, they want something more. But once I decide they are just friends, no force in hell could move them out of the friendzone. Seriously, I lose the interest and I will meet them, I will go for a cup of coffee with them, but that’s it. No benefits. Ok, I will listen to them and I will help them with their problems, because this is what friends do but they shouldn’t expect me to have sex with them ever.

Like this was not enough, another friend of mine (who is already friendzoned) asks me to come over to his place to see how he has redecorated his bedroom. And since he is my  friend only, I politely declined. He got upset and told me he is asking me to come over for 3 years but I never do. That’s true, but my reason is that I don’t go to his place is that I don’t want to sleep with a man, who didn’t even make an effort to start a relationship. He put me second all the time and right now, he is just friend. I don’t care if he is willing to put me first now, because it’s too late.

Maybe my pride is a big problem, and that’s the reason for me to be single. But I don’t want a man who will put me second, I deserve to be his priority, since I am willing to put my partner first and work hard to make relationship work.