#but at the same time im also so scared that i wont be able to pass the exam and that i dont have enough time to study

[sleepless-crows]

now that ive gone home from vacation, im starting to question why ive been studying so much

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

[truckstoptigers]

what i want to know is why he wants to talk to me again

why he even tried to get in with a friend request

and when I say it like that it sounds so stupid for me to be so scared, but after years of complete radio silence, the fact that he wants to contact me at all is so fucking terrifying

it doesn't matter that he'll never get a reply. to me the fact that he tried is bad enough

[itsalwaysdark]

ome day i will be so normal

[whole-circus]

Hihi I recently started reading your works and stchnvdhnifbmb I'm obsessed now lol

I must ask how the creeps would react to someone who was there for them before they became the way they are now? I'm quite curious (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；)

Take care and hydrate <333

Creepypastas with reader that had knew them before tragic eventes

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned

Ahh you waited so long for this Im so sorry!T^T

Also you guys have no idea how sweet that is! Im glad that someone likes to read my scribble! <3 Lots of love and also remember to hydrate! I choose couple of pastas, but feel free to inform me if you would like someone else!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

During one of this normal days, or maybe during calm night? You finally saw him..You were looking at eachothers, not sure what to do - sure, he may be a killer now..but this killer was once your friend? Does he even recognize you? But to your suprise, he just started laughing. It wasn't his casual maniac laughter..this one were more friendly, just like the laugh of him you remembered. The laugh of your best friend. He remembered you..and even if he is way diffrent now, then the part of him is still your best friend. You are finally something good in his miserable life, and he almost felt normal once again. Its funny how you make a man like him smile and sigh in relief, just by your presence. And he doesn't care what he did do somehow deserved you again - all he could do is being grateful for that.

☆ Homicidal Liu

You manage to meet Liu on one, ordinary night. Even if he looked, oh so diffrent, then inside you could still recognize his past self. When it comes to Liu, he couldnt believe his luck in that moment. He craves for sense of normalcy like nothing else, its his only true wish..but now you are here again? He start to remember all this nice moments from his childhood..you were in all of them! Even if he didnt recognize you at first, he felt so many strong emotions and could find something familiar..and like that after a quick chat you finally were in eachothers arms once again. There you were..his only hope and only love, you have no idea how long he had waited for you - and when he finally got you, he wont let you go again.

☆ "Ticci" Toby

After everything he had done, Toby really became all this names they used to call him in school - he was a monster, a freak in fact. Could you even look at him in the same, sweet way you used to as a kid? He was scared, constantly scared..so he didnt made a first move. Until that day. When he finally saw you again, he finally felt at peace. The feeling when you were again in his arms felt like coming home from a long journey. He was able to feel the same thing, the same love and care from you. And he already felt much better, just from seeing your smile again.

☆ Eyeless Jack

He was sure you wouldn't recognize him..now he was a monster after all, a inhuman being, a demon straight from poeple nightmares. But he wished, he dreamed that you would look at him in the same way - they way you used to when everything was normal. Meeting you again made him so incredible happy..he almost feel human again! All he could do was just hug you, and sob quietly.. you had so much to talk about, but you have time for that..the only thing that matter is you right now.

☆ Ben Drowned

Ben wasnt the same person you used to cherish and care for..shit, he wasnt even a person, a human anymore. So was he still worth of your friendship? Your sweet words and hugs? Was he even worth looking at you? But he finally decide to meet you once more, he had all eternity and he needs you to make it worth exisitng. So when he showed up at your doors? He had it all planned, the things he will do and say..but just seeing you made him tear up and look in guilt to the ground. His always cool and smug persona, was replaced with the seriousness and culpability. And when you took him into your warm embrace? When you started to shush him ,a dcomfort him? He felt at peace once again, almost like nothing else matters but you both. You already made him the happiest and nothing can compare to you, nothing else in this world.

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[feelo-fick]

Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal

Demons Curse

—

WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this

i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!

...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD

can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH

additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.

and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?

speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH

anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly

[savannahsdeath]

Hi <33 I love love love your writing and I really want your take on what fucking santa barbara!Ellie would be like if your up to it 🫶🫶

first of all THANK YOU💗💗 and yes ofc i tried my best !!

SANTA BARBARA!ELLIE X READER HEADCANONS + EXAMPLE ONESHOT

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut

writers note: its not like my typical hcs because this ones more like umm with plot?? idk how to say this but i hope ykwim😓ENJOY!!

🌿 she's definitely rough like im sure 100%

🌿 she would degrade you but she also praises you from time to time

🌿 now, hear me out, she doesnt have her usual smirk. like someeetimessss but mostly she looks so stern and focused youre literally scared to make a sound

🌿 she definitely doesnt care about making a mess. shed be sooo sloppy istg!!!!

🌿 she also doesnt care about whatever youre saying. she barely listens. everytime you hit her with a 'stop/too fast' she either completely ignores you or replies with some 'huh? what did you say?' and shed go even faster..

🌿 she def uses strap but also loves just using her fingers. she just wants to feel it ykwimmm

heres an example story(lets skip the plot)

its not really what i meant but whatever😓

You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, what seemed like an invitation for Ellie to shush you by pressing her lips to yours. It silenced you, but not stopped, as your inaudible groans were now caught in Ellie's throat.

You were unable to move, pressed against the wall, so she didnt need to hold you. With her free hands she started undressing you both, knowing you wont be able to do so by yourself. She didn't break the kiss though, only stopping for a second when she had to pull your shirt over your head and didn't have access to your face. She continued right after.

You're not sure when did you moved to the bed, but here you were, laying down beneath her.

She kissed your neck, leaving wet spots on it. She was moving down your body, as you played with her hair, shutting your eyes closed.

Not long after that, a few more of your body parts were red from her nibbling - inner thighs mostly.

Even though she took her time, it didn't take too long. She knew youre impatient and wasn't in mood to mess with you, not yet, not like that.

Soon after, she buried her face between your legs, planting the same messy kisses all over there.

Her hands were holding onto your thighs, preventing them from clenching. You knew her grip will leave bruises, painful ones too, but you didnt care.

Ellie's tongue was definitely doing a good job, playing with your clit, slidding in and out of your entrance.

Her fingers didn't loose up but her thumbs started gently tracing circles on your skin, which definitely made it seem less aggressive.

When she was finished with her mouth, one of her hands took the initiative. She was rubbing two of her fingers for a few short moments, before pushing them in.

You were finally able to see her face - her expression. She looked at you firmly, like one bad move could get you killed.

You were whining and whimpering, desperately begging her to slow down.

"Sh, shhh... Just take what youre given, will you?" The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards, creating a little smile.

You nodded but continued squirming, your thighs trembling, breath shaking...

"Oh, dont be so dramatic. Youre doing good, you'll handle it, trust me." She reassuringly patted your side. "People survived worse things."

Did that help? Well...

But you knew its the best she can do when it comes to being nice. You couldnt blame her, not after you found out about her past. She killed more people than you ever talked with, after all..

Your mind went blank and you couldnt think of anything to say, so you kept mumbling the two words you always do - 'Ellie' and 'please'. At this point, it seems your mouth remembered how to say these. Your tongue knew exactly what to do to make them come out of your mouth, while it was struggling with any other word.

But it was enough for her to know what you want to say.

When youre finally done (she can tell youre close by the way you scream her name, so she knows when to go faster), she cleans you up with her toned expression.

"See? You'll live, atta fucking girl."

[walnutcookie]

I desperately want to know your thoughts on ReflectiveDetective with this

GOUGHHHH OK. FUCK. Cracks knuckles. thank you for this GHAHHAHA i always love yappimg abt these two

What draws them together?

i think that what draws them together is also the thing that drives them apart. Theyre both playing this character of someone whos perfect and flawless out of a desire for love and attention but in different ways (glisten tries to flaunt everything he can while rodger tries to be cool and mysterious and secretive bla bla ive talked abt this before this is just summary GDBKFJF). I think it takes glisten a long time to really realize that theres more to rodger than meets the eye... hes mostly just scared of the guy and is too paranoid to imagine he has insecurities too GSVJDHD but after they start getting closer he starts to see some similarities ..... probably doesnt realize just how alike they are until rodger actually opens up and talks about it. Rodger has always known - just from his own observations ofc and his Nosiness but glisten has also vented to him quite a bit because hes a bit too good of a listener

its comforting to know that theres someone like them. they can look at each other and know that theyre not alone in what theyre dealing with but also its terrifying in a way because Dear Godge someone else knows what theyre going through... they cant even fake anything around each other anymore because the other will know its a lie. And now theyre both paranoid that the other will eventually lose interest because they finally see that theyre worthless and boring (they wont)

What stands in the way?

same answer as before LOLL. i think def rodger is the biggest problem here though his ass does NOOOT communicate. glisten isnt the best with communication either but rodger is worse. i think theyre both a little scared to open up to each other too and be in such a vulnerable state but at least glisten has a mindset of "he alreayd knows me inside and out so idgaf he knows anyways" rodger is still clinging to Oh God ive gotta make myself look cool otherwise he'll hate meeee[acts distant and makes glisten think he fucking hates him] Rodger just. sends soo many mixed messages and it stresses glisten the hell out. and even beyond that glisten still feels like he doesnt truly know who rodger is... he asks so many questions and yet dodges any question thats asked about himself. It gets frustrating sometimes when glisten has to theorize about whats going on in rodgers head and why hes acting so weird

What are their good traits?

I think theyre both very good listeners :] i think that glisten has relied on rodger as someone he could talk to and get advice from for a long time (based on how toodles says he "cries and complains" to rodger all the time)... rodger has always been able to read him really well and knows EXACTLY what the fuck is up at all times which is, again, absolutely terrifying to glisten because hes left so vulnerable but also comforting. He doesnt know what rodgers intentions are at first or what he thinks of glisten but hes patient and caring which is relieving, especially when glisten doesnt talk abt his issues to anyone else lol . It takes a looonngg time but glisten does eventually get rodger to open up too :] i think glisten very good at cheering people up just in general. Sometime its a bit of a chore for him (referencing the boxten/glisten notes) but hes learned how to listen very well and is great at being a distraction after they get it all out. Even if its just for his reputation hed rather sacrifice a bit of his time and energy to cheer someone up

Describe them with one trope:

opposites attract ? idk theyre too alike for that GDVJDBF im not very good with ship tropes

[ender-cloud]

NEW UPDATE AND OH OK UM ONE MOMENT THERES A LOT TO UNPACK HERE

Tgs spoilers undercut

Ok, ok, ok! Im currently ill so my minds a little bit scattered and I woke up really late today because I needed the rest, so im posting this a little late but oh my hod!!

Ok, ok ok ok! So!

Hyde is having the same problem Jekyll did before he passed out and I think this could mean 2 things.

When Jekyll was having this issue Hyde was going into the back of the mind, which is exactly what Jekyll is doing right now trying to erase himself, does this truly make it so Hyde will die with Jekyll?

Now now, Lyn wonders if Jekyll is wanting to kill Hyde but I don’t believe he does. I think Jekyll wants Hyde to suffer but he made his intentions seem very clear. He wanted Hyde to go mad without him as he is sent to Jail because of the crimes he’s committed in the past. Also I don’t think Jekyll knows that he’s possible of killing Hyde.

Fritz beought up that Sage said that if Hyde dies then Jekyll will go back to normal. But that might not have the same effect on Hyde.

Hyde stems from Jekyll and the only reasoning why Jekyll was affected before was because Hyde was pulling him down. Forcing Jekyll to go with him which Jekyll isnt trying to do to Hyde.

Thank you lyn and Fritz for what you found out while I was asleep

Hyde isnt an organic human, but just a product of Jekyll, and it brings up if the host (Jekylls body/Jekyll) dies then what will it do for Hyde’s life. Jekyll most likely dosent know he’s killing Hyde by killing himself but it is just a side effect

But I would also argue that it might not be, for one, when it was happening to Jekyll it was way worse, he was grabbing his chest in pain and was barley even able to stand, Jekyll is the host body who wouldn’t have died if Hyde did, so shouldn’t it be 10 times worst for Hyde?

It also brings up Hyde’s anxiety, in this moment hyde is scared from being left alone and is terrified that Lanyon has found him like this. The pounding of his heart could be a start of a panic attack instead of a sign that Jekyll is killing him.

Either way, a full blown Panic attack would be an interesting thing to see Hyde experience in front of Lanyon and show how more of an exposure to to the real world is effecting him. If Hyde is going to die from Jekyll, I dont think it’s happening just yet

Ok ok! Now to the dialogue

Hyde trying to still show he’s tough even though it’s obvious in his face he’s lost, scared, panicked. He’s keeping up his persona but he looks like he is going to break soon.

He is just as emotionally vulnerable as Jekyll and he needs his reputation as much as Jekyll desires his

ALSO LANYON TREATING HYDE AS A PERSON FINALLY???? He seems to have accepted that Hyde and Jekyll are the same person, bringing up a memory he had WITH JEKYLL while saying YOU to hyde.

While Jekyll and Hyde arent the same people, it is a start. It’s almost like he’s trying to reach out to Jekyll in Hydes mind, but Jekyll may be far to gone

Haha, oh Jekyll would, now now, before we get into the story it makes me wonder if Lanyon thinks this was Jekyll’s Hyde showing which is why he brought it up, he dosent exactly know what part of Jekyll he was always talking to.

Woah, Jekyll not wanting to lie to the people who have been nice to him, crazy Idea! /j I just giggled at a stupid joke

I do find it interesting how Jekyll has changed from back them, not fully, he was still desperate to get people to aprove of him, a people pleaser at heart. Yet now, Jekyll is a lot more willing to let a “little” lie slide under the rug if it means he can still keep his reputation up.

He is still a people pleaser and seeing it when he was younger shows why he decided to remove Hyde from himself.

Also jekyll is literally on his knees begging for this simple chance that Lanyons parents wont even find out about, he is truly just desperate to be liked and accepted.

Lanyon is really smart, as seen, but is holding himself back because he wants it to seem that he dosent need his fathers approval or attention but is instead is proving how much his father floods his mind.

He’s not doing this for himself, he is doing it to spite his father, trying to go against Him, not because he dosnet care about school or what people think, but instead Because he cares too much. He is trying to trick himself into thinking it dosnet Matter but it does matter to him what his father thinks.

Also Jekyll being so scared of being called a monster shows how even from the beginning he didn’t like the hyde part of himself and how he really just wanted to be accepted, he doesn’t want to be perceived as a monster even after all of these years he just wants to be liked

This story of the past dosent seem to be over yet so we’ll have to wait until next week for the rest

[roughentumble]

God. I bet Logan gets really bad domdrop. He'll finish a scene and get real quiet and then softly asks, "Babe, am I bad person?"

GOD. LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY SOOOOOO TRUEEEEEE

because he's always at war with his desires and his impulses and he tries to act very Human, like he doesnt /hate/ being a mutant and there are parts he embraces, but he also tends to hide/downplay those sides and only bring them out when he WANTS to shock someone. he contains multitudes. he's like, big on how others perceive him and will play into that intentionally in order to get the social upper hand by not presenting exactly how you'd expect, either being more or less animalistic than his apperance and your own biases would lead you to think.

im getting a little off topic but it is related! despite all that he is scared of being Too Other, Too Freak, Too Beast, Too Animal, Too Mindless. is he too violent? can he put down the violence, will the world let him? is he only made to be a weapon? what would others think of him, if they saw all the instincts he fights against? is he the instincts he fights, or is he the thinking man who wrestles with them?

all questions he struggles with, so any scene-- but extremely and especially a scene where he's mean or violent-- is going to bring those questions back up in his head until he's found a way to settle them and accept himself. i love the idea of wade and logan going out into the woods to dismember and gut each other, and then fuck in the bloody aftermath while their bodies are still knitting together, but logan is still trying to cling to normalcy and humanity enough that it would cause MAJOR domdrop once they were done. he'd be nauseous over what he got pleasure out of doing to another person, because doesnt that just confirm every evil thing ever said about him? while wade doesnt have the same reservations, because he's made peace with his own violence, and is much easier able to compartmentalize what theyre doing here as their version of "playing" because they can both take it. logan has absolutely no desire to dismember someone who cant grow back from it(or even if he does have the urge to do so with people who wont heal, the fact that they wont heal stays his hand and makes the thought repulsive even when the urge to do so with SOMEONE remains), so clearly this doesnt say anything bad about logan, to wade. clearly logan is just someone to the left of human who has inhuman urges and has no interest in sating them with the blood of innocents, he's just a Guy. its Fine. but logan isnt able to see that distinction in himself, and really struggles with feeling like a monster

he needs a lot of TLC and gentle introspection to get over it, and even after he's dealt with it there will be times where he looks over at wade and needs to know. did i hurt you too badly? am i bad because i want to hurt you? am i a monster? could you ever love me when i have your blood in my teeth?

then there's the "dont touch me, im a fucking monster" days where he starts breathing heavy and getting in his own head, and he needs to be talked to nice and sweet, reminded of how happy it makes wade and how he isnt alone in their games. he isnt bad for being an aggressor. because that's what it comes down to, being the aggressor feels like an evil tainted role when its him, but obviously its not bad when WADE is hurting HIM-- a flaw in his logic that he cant see when he's in the moment and panicking and feeling like utter crap

logan getting domdrop is actually something that can be so personal

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[imunderthegoddamnwater]

I missed the Dreamtale twins....well, my version of them atleast

Honestly I redesigned Nightmare and Dream because I hate the creator and since she throws a tantrum like a baby whenever someone makes a change in her au I use it to make her mad :]

Anyways here is a bit of lore about them:

-Dream and Nightmare arent really "a version of sans", they never been one

-Dream has some plant features in his sans form just like his Mother (he hates it lol)

-Dream uses a sans look like appearance because he doesnt wants to scare people he helps, after all, Both Dream and Nightmare are the sons of an Angel (Yes they do technicaly have a dad), and looking at an Angel like creature is hard and kind of disturbing for mortals, its not hard for their friends to look at them since their eyes have got used to it, but someone Who just met Dream or Nightmare wont be that okay with it

-Nightmare and Dream can be called she, it, he or anything else, they dont label things, That also counts for sexualities, races, genders and more, they are whatever you call them, they wont really care

-Dream and Nightmare has an older brother called "Savior" (Who looks like a papyrus)

-Dream and Nightmare hates their mom, Nim ruined Nightmare by manipulating him to do shit she's not able to do herself and also was one of the reasons for the Apple incident, Dream was neglected a lot by Nim since she was more focused on Nightmare, she was manipulative towards him as well

-Nightmare and Dream made a truce almost a decade ago, they are mostly okay with eachother (they both technicaly are good guys in their own way)

-The only thing Dream and Nightmare has in common with a sans is their love for junk food and bad puns

-Nightmare turning Dream into stone bit might not be in this au (Im not sure yet)

-Nightmare usually doesnt uses a sans disguise since he has trauma related to the incident with it, he usually uses an Undyne disguise if he needs to, Also her second favorite disguise is Asgore

-Nightmare can have a disguise but he cant hide what happened to his eye, that part stays the same

-Sometimes flowers blooms on top of Dream’s head if he's happy or frustered

-Nightmare sees his team as his kids (and talks about them like they are his kids) while Dream sees his team as friends

-Dream's best friend is İnk

-Nightmare and Dream are in good terms

-Dream and Nightmare shares a similiar hate towards mortals like their mom, but ofcourse they have expections

-Nightmare's best friends are Ccino and Abby/Abolitionist Chara

-Dream dates Fresh while Nightmare is with Reaper Sans 🤭

-Nightmare likes reading and tea

-Both Dream and Nightmare will outlive their teams :(

-Dream keeps forgetting that his friends are mortals and they need stuff like sleep and eating at times, meanwhile Nightmare was forced to learn since everyone in his castle are insane and ignores their own needs, meaning Nightmare had to learn to take care of them

-Both Nightmare and Dream are physicaly very strong

-Both Dream and Nightmare can consume rotten food without any issue, they are literal gods of Negativity and Positivity, they cant get sick that easily

-Dream is nice but he isnt weak or dumb, he also does NOT has the mind set of a child, he will kick ass if he needs to

-Both Dream and Nightmare has issues with the english launguage since some words were very different, as an example, the word gay meant "joyful" and "happy" in the past....I dont think I need to explain what kind of train wrack this cauzed

-Savior is a good older brother so both Dream and Nightmare loves him

-Both of the guardians teams did several tests behind Dream and Nightmare's backs to see if they are plants or not, neither of them find the answer yet...

-Dream and Nightmare suspects they might turn into a tree when they become older, they dont like the idea :(

Thats all that I can remember

[powderrblue]

in honor of i maybe wont have wifi for about nine days. have this snippet im never gonna finish

Hadlee sat in the chair beside Henrik's at the table. He probably didn't like her much, but it was better than startling Randy or sitting beside strangers.

They were, admittedly, kind strangers who had probably not committed unspeakable crimes under the influence of a corrupt media company and also had taken them in upon hearing that Randy and Henrik were among the small group who escaped Showfall. But still strangers.

Hadlee would admit the logic there might be slightly skewered.

She glanced up at the woman who looked like Henrik -Marlie? Maury? Hadlee still had a hard time focusing enough to learn names- and glanced back down again as she made eye contact.

In the few days that had followed Showfall's destruction, the couple who had taken the remaining ex-employees in hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. First sorting out temporary housing (that would probably end up permanent if the whole situation kept up), then deflecting government employees, then paperwork, then whatever the hell it was that would take turns mentally wrecking them all.

Their little daughter, Ava, was the proverbial ray of sunshine in the middle of the whole ordeal.

She had warmed up to the group as soon as look at them, seemingly blind to scars in some cases, or in Hadlee's case, the fact that she couldn't bring herself to talk or answer any questions Ava asked.

Her bringing Hadlee to look at the garden outside or build block towers was the only thing that dragged Hadlee out of bed every day.

The first time the social workers had come back to "check on" them, Hadlee had confused them with Showfall drones. The family's dog had tried to attack upon seeing Hadlee scared, Hadlee herself had had several consecutive panic attacks, and Randy and Henrik refused to leave the living room for the rest of the day, probably due to one of them insisting on watching the door and the other not wanting to be alone.

Paislie had asked Hadlee later if Showfall had any other locations. There had been others, but as far as Hadlee knew, they were empty.

She'd told Paislie no.

She didn't mention it to her social worker, either.

The visits had switched to video calls as much as possible after that.

Randy, from what Hadlee saw of him, always had a faraway look in his eyes. He still talked, but not more than a few words every so often. Hadlee could tell just by looking at him that he wasn't very aware of his surroundings.

Henrik was much the same, but sometimes he'd talk like he'd never been to Showfall and he'd just gotten married and he hadn't killed his husband and been killed himself a thousand times over. It was unnerving at best.

Hadlee had seen his sister constantly keeping an eye on him, then turning around and making as comfortable of conversation with Randy as possible, considering the circumstances.

Hadlee guessed for what it was worth, the familiarity between them was a small mercy.

Beau and Randy apparently knew each other too, far better than Hadlee would have guessed. Randy had talked more with Beau than he had everyone else combined.

More power to him.

Beau seemed nice enough, Hadlee didn't doubt that. She'd made every effort to help with paperwork, general adjustments to normal life, even offered to help find her and Paislie's families.

Hadlee wasn't sure if she could deal with the other woman putting in effort for her- if only because she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to meet her halfway.

She hated the unknowns.

Hadlee had to focus to blink, turning her attention back to the table. She'd been about to eat, something had probably happened while she was thinking, she was probably gonna end up in some hospital anyway-

Something was shifting beside her.

"Hal. Hal."

Hadlee quickly raised a hand to her chest to sign "sorry" a few times, probably faster than necessary.

Paislie signed back that it was okay before he passed Hadlee a plate of food.

It took her a second to realize he'd probably made it for her while she was spaced out.

"All the stuff's separated," Paislie said lightheartedly, offering Hadlee a fork. "You don't have to worry about that part. No cheese on the chicken nuggets."

Hadlee glanced up at the others around the table. They didn't seem to notice, unless the glance Beau and her wife were sharing was over her.

Another glance her way from Beau was quick to affirm her suspicions.

Well, shit.

Hadlee sat in nervous silence after that, trying for all she was worth to eat the food Paislie had handed her.

The goal had been not to make anyone worry.

That went well.

Her focus waned in and out. Henrik's sister- Maria, that was it and it was so much easier than Maury- momentarily brought up the papers again.

She had a point, Hadlee would've argued if she had it in her to. She didn't want to go to a hospital any more than Maria seemed to want any of them to go.

Beau was quick to come up with a distraction. Randy usually joined in on it, and Hadlee would admit they'd been one of the few reasons she'd smiled since she could remember.

Henrik kept reaching for Randy's hand. Hadlee wished she knew how to even start to talk to him about- well, anything, really.

Knowing virtually everything about a person made it difficult to find a middle ground for conversation.

[prlite]

finally unpacking my fear of shifting ; winning a 5 year battle.

last night i minishifted via void state for the first time in a while, and it wasnt technically planned (i was meditating but didnt intend to fall into the void state, let alone to minishift). i was in a large field, with really big flowers, it was very peaceful...sweet but short.

but after that minishift, ive been in my thoughts a lot...what does shifting mean to me ? why do i feel as if i cannot shift fully, even though i have fully shifted multiple times before ? and as i continued to think about it, i got more and more confused by why i struggled when i can shift so easily without intending to do so and this is now my 5th year into shifting...so im not exactly new to this.

i wasnt exactly expecting an answer yet i did get one after thinking about it a lot deeper. my fear of shifting isnt about failure or about changes (which i always assumed was the problem, since i'm a perfectionist who struggles with changes)...it was a fear of me becoming what i hated most ; egotistical.

when i first got into shifting, and i went into communities with other shifters - a lot of experienced shifters would be obsessed with having a mentor-like persona. theyd be bossy, rude, judge other people's drs, some would honestly think they were just above others. it was so much...ego-flexing, almost taunting people...seeing all of that not only put me off shifting at first, but made me scared of shifting. what if i end up like that, what if i push others away from shifting ?

i'd see people making courses where youd have to pay $100+ for "advice", i'd see people tell others they arent the "destined ones to shift", i'd see people tell others that they weren't ready to shift...so much negativity...such a bad first impression that it unknowingly stuck with me. i know that not all experienced shifters are like that ofc (especially considering that i am...an experienced shifter), but seeing that and having that be my first impression made me wonder is that really what shifting does to people? everytime people would bring up the attitude shown by these people, it was always "well they shifted", "well i'm still gonna listen to them because they shifted" & no acknowledgement for the issue at hand...the attitude, it was almost as if this was just normal and i shouldve just sucked it up because "if you've shifted, you're automatically above others". because of that, i honestly thought being self-trusting enough to let go and shift fully and enjoy wherever i want to go would make me become someone like that...someone who looks down on others and scams people.

but the deeper i thought, the more i realised...it isnt because theyve shifted, or even because theyre into shifting : a lot of people simply want power. power over others, power to help them feel better about themselves; power over everything. shifting simply lures a lot of these people because they misunderstand the point of shifting, you're not the chosen one if you shift quicker than others or if you understand shifting at a deeper level than most — you're just...someone who knows a lot about shifting. we're all destined to shift, but we are also all able to control what we do once we shift and how we act once we shift.

this fear to become something that made me feel small, uncomfortable and unwelcome and this fear to push that onto others & hurt them may be a valid fear but it wont become a reality because i am in control of how i act. others may make it seem like shifting is what controls them but its not shifting, its their own decision to treat others like such.

it may seem like a weird niche fear, or something thats quite...small but its been so heavily internalised that i didnt notice it until now. i honestly feel like a large weight has been thrown off my shoulders, i can actually breathe. even if i shift instantly and have all of these crazy stories and experiences, i'm still the same person that i was when i first got into shifting...i won't change to become what i fear & i wont let that fear engulf me.

prl ✶⋆.˚

[pansnovidinnia]

as Stolas stan, im kinda scared of 3 season of helluva boss. like i dont believe they'll leave everything like it is now, Stolas without home and magic, little to no love between him and blitzo, etc

but at the same time i fear they will not return Stolas what he has had and will just turn it like "well his daughter understood him, and blitzo loves him. Stolas wont get his magic or home back in 100 years but he doesn't need it anymore. he's happy now"

im not sure itll be a good writing decision. though, if looking on stolitz fans' reactions, they usually seem to praise Stolas' downgrade. and i keep thinking that loosing magic is like loosing your hands or loosing your home and family is also... not very easy thing to take. especially considering Stolas is severely depressed and tried to kill himself twice (sacrifice and the moment in a bath when he tried "to inhale the water")

i wish its not what they're going with. it will be so undermining and poor. if stolitz is canon, they (at least thats what i think) should be able to be together without changing each other. cause thats pretty much how love works (in case if its not about abuse. i mean if its views and tastes etc)

THIS POST IS MY OPINION STRICTLY.

[is-that-plural]

urgh not to feed into the whole demonization stuff but postal dude from the POSTAL game franchise is plural coded (and i am allowed to say this having DID.. bc i get so mad when singlets say he has "split/multiple personality disorder" (also bc its the outdated name) but when i see someone who is a system say he is im likd. YES (also most of the time those people who claim MPD on him are doing it to demonize the disorder and add nothing else.. like no nuance or whatever at all or deep discussion) GOING TO RAMBLE SORRY (should also probably content warn. postal is a pretty violent/graphic/dark humor franchise so theres gonna be bringing up of violence and guns, and also some semi disturbing imagery?? mostly it just being eerie, demon visuals, and scopophobia).. oh also religion trauma talk ALSO SPOILERS FOR POSTAL 1997 (?) AND POSTAL BRAIN DAMAGED!!! -------------------------------------------------------------

so, in POSTAL 1 (1997), theres this whole thing where, if you look at postal dude's voicelines from Rick Hunter, iirc (my memory is a bit rusty) theyre labeled with "demon", and his death/pain sounds are voiced by Vince Desi and arent labelled as such. its also heavily implied that postal dude is TERRIFIED and scared, but then his voicelines are him making snide and mocking remarks. it has been implied that he may be "possessed by a demon" but also that he has multiple mental conditions.

now, in POSTAL: Brain Damaged, this becomes extremely obvious. we are now more into the future, and Dude has to fight against other dude inside his own head. Other dude is the "demon" from postal 1997.

(other dude on the left, postal dude on the right.) other dude's speech at the final cutscene, he specifically talks about how they are basically one in the same, while he also cannot be killed or defeated. (and um. after this he gets shot in the head by postal dude, and "dies" but ill get to that.) (i know alter death isnt real, but us, along with other systems weve seen, have said that in headspace , an alter for example may look like they are dead or something happened to them, but that didnt actually kill them and they arent dead. it has been said this is usually a stress thing, or a coping mechanism. we have done stuff like this before.) so i dont believe other dude is dead. ALSO! when postal dude shot him, he brought up not being able to remember things he learned in childhood after that, and his brain was going all dumb,, https://www.kapwing.com/videos/66bab3c776014924d543c4c6 (tumblr wont let me put a video so i hope this link will work!! if it doesnt you can just look up the final cutscene of the game, but like the warnings i put up above they are fighting and he does get shot.) -------------------------------------------------------------- FINAL THOUGHTS my take/headcanon whatever u wanna call it, as a DID system, is that he may have DID or OSDD-1a. but instead of just claiming that and not digging into anything else or finding nuances, here's some other stuff. as a persecutor in our sys myself who also recently fused with postal 1997 being the source, and also our other few postal introjects (a few who are also persecutors), Postal dude and Other dude are system coded. I think Other dude is a mislead persecutor who is fully convinced he is a demon, on top of Postal dude thinking the same about other dude. A big thing that happens with many systems because of trauma, especially religious trauma, is thinking they are possessed (and sometimes even those around the system also calling them possessed,) and because postal dude never got the help they needed, they have some, what i like to call, internalized demonization. the first case we ever see the postal dude is in 1997 (which is also the year the game takes place in and not just the games date), and to my math, postal dude is canonically 53-54 this current year. of course he wouldnt have gotten help, especially how under researched CDDs are still to this day! and i do think they have religious trauma, i mean, the entire thing for postal 1997 is dude thinking he is cleansing the earth for god or something. POSTAL 1997 has "diary entries" (which turn into "war journal" after a bit) and they all have very obvious religious ramblings. so, my conclusion, postal dude has DID or OSDD-1A, heavy internalized demonization, religious trauma, and is system coded. i rest my case. also... just look at this image bro tell me he isnt plural,,

SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG I JUST LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS and despite this might being seen as demonizing DID, personally i and a few others ive met who like postal and are systems dont see it that way and postal actually makes us feel seen lol

!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR THE RANT

a rant is actually Really needed, because i can only do so much research myself on media we're unfamiliar with, so for you all to give your reasoning and explanations is absolutely PERFECT !!

Rating: CASE CLOSED: That Dude is Plural !