#but at the same time im also so scared that i wont be able to pass the exam and that i dont have enough time to study

[sleepless-crows]

now that ive gone home from vacation, im starting to question why ive been studying so much

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

[truckstoptigers]

what i want to know is why he wants to talk to me again

why he even tried to get in with a friend request

and when I say it like that it sounds so stupid for me to be so scared, but after years of complete radio silence, the fact that he wants to contact me at all is so fucking terrifying

it doesn't matter that he'll never get a reply. to me the fact that he tried is bad enough

[itsalwaysdark]

ome day i will be so normal

[whole-circus]

Hihi I recently started reading your works and stchnvdhnifbmb I'm obsessed now lol

I must ask how the creeps would react to someone who was there for them before they became the way they are now? I'm quite curious (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；)

Take care and hydrate <333

Creepypastas with reader that had knew them before tragic eventes

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned

Ahh you waited so long for this Im so sorry!T^T

Also you guys have no idea how sweet that is! Im glad that someone likes to read my scribble! <3 Lots of love and also remember to hydrate! I choose couple of pastas, but feel free to inform me if you would like someone else!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

During one of this normal days, or maybe during calm night? You finally saw him..You were looking at eachothers, not sure what to do - sure, he may be a killer now..but this killer was once your friend? Does he even recognize you? But to your suprise, he just started laughing. It wasn't his casual maniac laughter..this one were more friendly, just like the laugh of him you remembered. The laugh of your best friend. He remembered you..and even if he is way diffrent now, then the part of him is still your best friend. You are finally something good in his miserable life, and he almost felt normal once again. Its funny how you make a man like him smile and sigh in relief, just by your presence. And he doesn't care what he did do somehow deserved you again - all he could do is being grateful for that.

☆ Homicidal Liu

You manage to meet Liu on one, ordinary night. Even if he looked, oh so diffrent, then inside you could still recognize his past self. When it comes to Liu, he couldnt believe his luck in that moment. He craves for sense of normalcy like nothing else, its his only true wish..but now you are here again? He start to remember all this nice moments from his childhood..you were in all of them! Even if he didnt recognize you at first, he felt so many strong emotions and could find something familiar..and like that after a quick chat you finally were in eachothers arms once again. There you were..his only hope and only love, you have no idea how long he had waited for you - and when he finally got you, he wont let you go again.

☆ "Ticci" Toby

After everything he had done, Toby really became all this names they used to call him in school - he was a monster, a freak in fact. Could you even look at him in the same, sweet way you used to as a kid? He was scared, constantly scared..so he didnt made a first move. Until that day. When he finally saw you again, he finally felt at peace. The feeling when you were again in his arms felt like coming home from a long journey. He was able to feel the same thing, the same love and care from you. And he already felt much better, just from seeing your smile again.

☆ Eyeless Jack

He was sure you wouldn't recognize him..now he was a monster after all, a inhuman being, a demon straight from poeple nightmares. But he wished, he dreamed that you would look at him in the same way - they way you used to when everything was normal. Meeting you again made him so incredible happy..he almost feel human again! All he could do was just hug you, and sob quietly.. you had so much to talk about, but you have time for that..the only thing that matter is you right now.

☆ Ben Drowned

Ben wasnt the same person you used to cherish and care for..shit, he wasnt even a person, a human anymore. So was he still worth of your friendship? Your sweet words and hugs? Was he even worth looking at you? But he finally decide to meet you once more, he had all eternity and he needs you to make it worth exisitng. So when he showed up at your doors? He had it all planned, the things he will do and say..but just seeing you made him tear up and look in guilt to the ground. His always cool and smug persona, was replaced with the seriousness and culpability. And when you took him into your warm embrace? When you started to shush him ,a dcomfort him? He felt at peace once again, almost like nothing else matters but you both. You already made him the happiest and nothing can compare to you, nothing else in this world.

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[feelo-fick]

Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal

Demons Curse

—

WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this

i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!

...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD

can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH

additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.

and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?

speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH

anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly

[savannahsdeath]

Hi <33 I love love love your writing and I really want your take on what fucking santa barbara!Ellie would be like if your up to it 🫶🫶

first of all THANK YOU💗💗 and yes ofc i tried my best !!

SANTA BARBARA!ELLIE X READER HEADCANONS + EXAMPLE ONESHOT

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut

writers note: its not like my typical hcs because this ones more like umm with plot?? idk how to say this but i hope ykwim😓ENJOY!!

🌿 she's definitely rough like im sure 100%

🌿 she would degrade you but she also praises you from time to time

🌿 now, hear me out, she doesnt have her usual smirk. like someeetimessss but mostly she looks so stern and focused youre literally scared to make a sound

🌿 she definitely doesnt care about making a mess. shed be sooo sloppy istg!!!!

🌿 she also doesnt care about whatever youre saying. she barely listens. everytime you hit her with a 'stop/too fast' she either completely ignores you or replies with some 'huh? what did you say?' and shed go even faster..

🌿 she def uses strap but also loves just using her fingers. she just wants to feel it ykwimmm

heres an example story(lets skip the plot)

its not really what i meant but whatever😓

You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, what seemed like an invitation for Ellie to shush you by pressing her lips to yours. It silenced you, but not stopped, as your inaudible groans were now caught in Ellie's throat.

You were unable to move, pressed against the wall, so she didnt need to hold you. With her free hands she started undressing you both, knowing you wont be able to do so by yourself. She didn't break the kiss though, only stopping for a second when she had to pull your shirt over your head and didn't have access to your face. She continued right after.

You're not sure when did you moved to the bed, but here you were, laying down beneath her.

She kissed your neck, leaving wet spots on it. She was moving down your body, as you played with her hair, shutting your eyes closed.

Not long after that, a few more of your body parts were red from her nibbling - inner thighs mostly.

Even though she took her time, it didn't take too long. She knew youre impatient and wasn't in mood to mess with you, not yet, not like that.

Soon after, she buried her face between your legs, planting the same messy kisses all over there.

Her hands were holding onto your thighs, preventing them from clenching. You knew her grip will leave bruises, painful ones too, but you didnt care.

Ellie's tongue was definitely doing a good job, playing with your clit, slidding in and out of your entrance.

Her fingers didn't loose up but her thumbs started gently tracing circles on your skin, which definitely made it seem less aggressive.

When she was finished with her mouth, one of her hands took the initiative. She was rubbing two of her fingers for a few short moments, before pushing them in.

You were finally able to see her face - her expression. She looked at you firmly, like one bad move could get you killed.

You were whining and whimpering, desperately begging her to slow down.

"Sh, shhh... Just take what youre given, will you?" The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards, creating a little smile.

You nodded but continued squirming, your thighs trembling, breath shaking...

"Oh, dont be so dramatic. Youre doing good, you'll handle it, trust me." She reassuringly patted your side. "People survived worse things."

Did that help? Well...

But you knew its the best she can do when it comes to being nice. You couldnt blame her, not after you found out about her past. She killed more people than you ever talked with, after all..

Your mind went blank and you couldnt think of anything to say, so you kept mumbling the two words you always do - 'Ellie' and 'please'. At this point, it seems your mouth remembered how to say these. Your tongue knew exactly what to do to make them come out of your mouth, while it was struggling with any other word.

But it was enough for her to know what you want to say.

When youre finally done (she can tell youre close by the way you scream her name, so she knows when to go faster), she cleans you up with her toned expression.

"See? You'll live, atta fucking girl."

[walnutcookie]

I desperately want to know your thoughts on ReflectiveDetective with this

GOUGHHHH OK. FUCK. Cracks knuckles. thank you for this GHAHHAHA i always love yappimg abt these two

What draws them together?

i think that what draws them together is also the thing that drives them apart. Theyre both playing this character of someone whos perfect and flawless out of a desire for love and attention but in different ways (glisten tries to flaunt everything he can while rodger tries to be cool and mysterious and secretive bla bla ive talked abt this before this is just summary GDBKFJF). I think it takes glisten a long time to really realize that theres more to rodger than meets the eye... hes mostly just scared of the guy and is too paranoid to imagine he has insecurities too GSVJDHD but after they start getting closer he starts to see some similarities ..... probably doesnt realize just how alike they are until rodger actually opens up and talks about it. Rodger has always known - just from his own observations ofc and his Nosiness but glisten has also vented to him quite a bit because hes a bit too good of a listener

its comforting to know that theres someone like them. they can look at each other and know that theyre not alone in what theyre dealing with but also its terrifying in a way because Dear Godge someone else knows what theyre going through... they cant even fake anything around each other anymore because the other will know its a lie. And now theyre both paranoid that the other will eventually lose interest because they finally see that theyre worthless and boring (they wont)

What stands in the way?

same answer as before LOLL. i think def rodger is the biggest problem here though his ass does NOOOT communicate. glisten isnt the best with communication either but rodger is worse. i think theyre both a little scared to open up to each other too and be in such a vulnerable state but at least glisten has a mindset of "he alreayd knows me inside and out so idgaf he knows anyways" rodger is still clinging to Oh God ive gotta make myself look cool otherwise he'll hate meeee[acts distant and makes glisten think he fucking hates him] Rodger just. sends soo many mixed messages and it stresses glisten the hell out. and even beyond that glisten still feels like he doesnt truly know who rodger is... he asks so many questions and yet dodges any question thats asked about himself. It gets frustrating sometimes when glisten has to theorize about whats going on in rodgers head and why hes acting so weird

What are their good traits?

I think theyre both very good listeners :] i think that glisten has relied on rodger as someone he could talk to and get advice from for a long time (based on how toodles says he "cries and complains" to rodger all the time)... rodger has always been able to read him really well and knows EXACTLY what the fuck is up at all times which is, again, absolutely terrifying to glisten because hes left so vulnerable but also comforting. He doesnt know what rodgers intentions are at first or what he thinks of glisten but hes patient and caring which is relieving, especially when glisten doesnt talk abt his issues to anyone else lol . It takes a looonngg time but glisten does eventually get rodger to open up too :] i think glisten very good at cheering people up just in general. Sometime its a bit of a chore for him (referencing the boxten/glisten notes) but hes learned how to listen very well and is great at being a distraction after they get it all out. Even if its just for his reputation hed rather sacrifice a bit of his time and energy to cheer someone up

Describe them with one trope:

opposites attract ? idk theyre too alike for that GDVJDBF im not very good with ship tropes

[roughentumble]

God. I bet Logan gets really bad domdrop. He'll finish a scene and get real quiet and then softly asks, "Babe, am I bad person?"

GOD. LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY SOOOOOO TRUEEEEEE

because he's always at war with his desires and his impulses and he tries to act very Human, like he doesnt /hate/ being a mutant and there are parts he embraces, but he also tends to hide/downplay those sides and only bring them out when he WANTS to shock someone. he contains multitudes. he's like, big on how others perceive him and will play into that intentionally in order to get the social upper hand by not presenting exactly how you'd expect, either being more or less animalistic than his apperance and your own biases would lead you to think.

im getting a little off topic but it is related! despite all that he is scared of being Too Other, Too Freak, Too Beast, Too Animal, Too Mindless. is he too violent? can he put down the violence, will the world let him? is he only made to be a weapon? what would others think of him, if they saw all the instincts he fights against? is he the instincts he fights, or is he the thinking man who wrestles with them?

all questions he struggles with, so any scene-- but extremely and especially a scene where he's mean or violent-- is going to bring those questions back up in his head until he's found a way to settle them and accept himself. i love the idea of wade and logan going out into the woods to dismember and gut each other, and then fuck in the bloody aftermath while their bodies are still knitting together, but logan is still trying to cling to normalcy and humanity enough that it would cause MAJOR domdrop once they were done. he'd be nauseous over what he got pleasure out of doing to another person, because doesnt that just confirm every evil thing ever said about him? while wade doesnt have the same reservations, because he's made peace with his own violence, and is much easier able to compartmentalize what theyre doing here as their version of "playing" because they can both take it. logan has absolutely no desire to dismember someone who cant grow back from it(or even if he does have the urge to do so with people who wont heal, the fact that they wont heal stays his hand and makes the thought repulsive even when the urge to do so with SOMEONE remains), so clearly this doesnt say anything bad about logan, to wade. clearly logan is just someone to the left of human who has inhuman urges and has no interest in sating them with the blood of innocents, he's just a Guy. its Fine. but logan isnt able to see that distinction in himself, and really struggles with feeling like a monster

he needs a lot of TLC and gentle introspection to get over it, and even after he's dealt with it there will be times where he looks over at wade and needs to know. did i hurt you too badly? am i bad because i want to hurt you? am i a monster? could you ever love me when i have your blood in my teeth?

then there's the "dont touch me, im a fucking monster" days where he starts breathing heavy and getting in his own head, and he needs to be talked to nice and sweet, reminded of how happy it makes wade and how he isnt alone in their games. he isnt bad for being an aggressor. because that's what it comes down to, being the aggressor feels like an evil tainted role when its him, but obviously its not bad when WADE is hurting HIM-- a flaw in his logic that he cant see when he's in the moment and panicking and feeling like utter crap

logan getting domdrop is actually something that can be so personal

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[imunderthegoddamnwater]

I missed the Dreamtale twins....well, my version of them atleast

Honestly I redesigned Nightmare and Dream because I hate the creator and since she throws a tantrum like a baby whenever someone makes a change in her au I use it to make her mad :]

Anyways here is a bit of lore about them:

-Dream and Nightmare arent really "a version of sans", they never been one

-Dream has some plant features in his sans form just like his Mother (he hates it lol)

-Dream uses a sans look like appearance because he doesnt wants to scare people he helps, after all, Both Dream and Nightmare are the sons of an Angel (Yes they do technicaly have a dad), and looking at an Angel like creature is hard and kind of disturbing for mortals, its not hard for their friends to look at them since their eyes have got used to it, but someone Who just met Dream or Nightmare wont be that okay with it

-Nightmare and Dream can be called she, it, he or anything else, they dont label things, That also counts for sexualities, races, genders and more, they are whatever you call them, they wont really care

-Dream and Nightmare has an older brother called "Savior" (Who looks like a papyrus)

-Dream and Nightmare hates their mom, Nim ruined Nightmare by manipulating him to do shit she's not able to do herself and also was one of the reasons for the Apple incident, Dream was neglected a lot by Nim since she was more focused on Nightmare, she was manipulative towards him as well

-Nightmare and Dream made a truce almost a decade ago, they are mostly okay with eachother (they both technicaly are good guys in their own way)

-The only thing Dream and Nightmare has in common with a sans is their love for junk food and bad puns

-Nightmare turning Dream into stone bit might not be in this au (Im not sure yet)

-Nightmare usually doesnt uses a sans disguise since he has trauma related to the incident with it, he usually uses an Undyne disguise if he needs to, Also her second favorite disguise is Asgore

-Nightmare can have a disguise but he cant hide what happened to his eye, that part stays the same

-Sometimes flowers blooms on top of Dream’s head if he's happy or frustered

-Nightmare sees his team as his kids (and talks about them like they are his kids) while Dream sees his team as friends

-Dream's best friend is İnk

-Nightmare and Dream are in good terms

-Dream and Nightmare shares a similiar hate towards mortals like their mom, but ofcourse they have expections

-Nightmare's best friends are Ccino and Abby/Abolitionist Chara

-Dream dates Fresh while Nightmare is with Reaper Sans 🤭

-Nightmare likes reading and tea

-Both Dream and Nightmare will outlive their teams :(

-Dream keeps forgetting that his friends are mortals and they need stuff like sleep and eating at times, meanwhile Nightmare was forced to learn since everyone in his castle are insane and ignores their own needs, meaning Nightmare had to learn to take care of them

-Both Nightmare and Dream are physicaly very strong

-Both Dream and Nightmare can consume rotten food without any issue, they are literal gods of Negativity and Positivity, they cant get sick that easily

-Dream is nice but he isnt weak or dumb, he also does NOT has the mind set of a child, he will kick ass if he needs to

-Both Dream and Nightmare has issues with the english launguage since some words were very different, as an example, the word gay meant "joyful" and "happy" in the past....I dont think I need to explain what kind of train wrack this cauzed

-Savior is a good older brother so both Dream and Nightmare loves him

-Both of the guardians teams did several tests behind Dream and Nightmare's backs to see if they are plants or not, neither of them find the answer yet...

-Dream and Nightmare suspects they might turn into a tree when they become older, they dont like the idea :(

Thats all that I can remember

[is-that-plural]

urgh not to feed into the whole demonization stuff but postal dude from the POSTAL game franchise is plural coded (and i am allowed to say this having DID.. bc i get so mad when singlets say he has "split/multiple personality disorder" (also bc its the outdated name) but when i see someone who is a system say he is im likd. YES (also most of the time those people who claim MPD on him are doing it to demonize the disorder and add nothing else.. like no nuance or whatever at all or deep discussion) GOING TO RAMBLE SORRY (should also probably content warn. postal is a pretty violent/graphic/dark humor franchise so theres gonna be bringing up of violence and guns, and also some semi disturbing imagery?? mostly it just being eerie, demon visuals, and scopophobia).. oh also religion trauma talk ALSO SPOILERS FOR POSTAL 1997 (?) AND POSTAL BRAIN DAMAGED!!! -------------------------------------------------------------

so, in POSTAL 1 (1997), theres this whole thing where, if you look at postal dude's voicelines from Rick Hunter, iirc (my memory is a bit rusty) theyre labeled with "demon", and his death/pain sounds are voiced by Vince Desi and arent labelled as such. its also heavily implied that postal dude is TERRIFIED and scared, but then his voicelines are him making snide and mocking remarks. it has been implied that he may be "possessed by a demon" but also that he has multiple mental conditions.

now, in POSTAL: Brain Damaged, this becomes extremely obvious. we are now more into the future, and Dude has to fight against other dude inside his own head. Other dude is the "demon" from postal 1997.

(other dude on the left, postal dude on the right.) other dude's speech at the final cutscene, he specifically talks about how they are basically one in the same, while he also cannot be killed or defeated. (and um. after this he gets shot in the head by postal dude, and "dies" but ill get to that.) (i know alter death isnt real, but us, along with other systems weve seen, have said that in headspace , an alter for example may look like they are dead or something happened to them, but that didnt actually kill them and they arent dead. it has been said this is usually a stress thing, or a coping mechanism. we have done stuff like this before.) so i dont believe other dude is dead. ALSO! when postal dude shot him, he brought up not being able to remember things he learned in childhood after that, and his brain was going all dumb,, https://www.kapwing.com/videos/66bab3c776014924d543c4c6 (tumblr wont let me put a video so i hope this link will work!! if it doesnt you can just look up the final cutscene of the game, but like the warnings i put up above they are fighting and he does get shot.) -------------------------------------------------------------- FINAL THOUGHTS my take/headcanon whatever u wanna call it, as a DID system, is that he may have DID or OSDD-1a. but instead of just claiming that and not digging into anything else or finding nuances, here's some other stuff. as a persecutor in our sys myself who also recently fused with postal 1997 being the source, and also our other few postal introjects (a few who are also persecutors), Postal dude and Other dude are system coded. I think Other dude is a mislead persecutor who is fully convinced he is a demon, on top of Postal dude thinking the same about other dude. A big thing that happens with many systems because of trauma, especially religious trauma, is thinking they are possessed (and sometimes even those around the system also calling them possessed,) and because postal dude never got the help they needed, they have some, what i like to call, internalized demonization. the first case we ever see the postal dude is in 1997 (which is also the year the game takes place in and not just the games date), and to my math, postal dude is canonically 53-54 this current year. of course he wouldnt have gotten help, especially how under researched CDDs are still to this day! and i do think they have religious trauma, i mean, the entire thing for postal 1997 is dude thinking he is cleansing the earth for god or something. POSTAL 1997 has "diary entries" (which turn into "war journal" after a bit) and they all have very obvious religious ramblings. so, my conclusion, postal dude has DID or OSDD-1A, heavy internalized demonization, religious trauma, and is system coded. i rest my case. also... just look at this image bro tell me he isnt plural,,

SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG I JUST LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS and despite this might being seen as demonizing DID, personally i and a few others ive met who like postal and are systems dont see it that way and postal actually makes us feel seen lol

!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR THE RANT

a rant is actually Really needed, because i can only do so much research myself on media we're unfamiliar with, so for you all to give your reasoning and explanations is absolutely PERFECT !!

Rating: CASE CLOSED: That Dude is Plural !

[meu-meu-kissy-ceutie]

Whether you read the read more or not, feel free to reblog or comment with your reasoning. Ultimately the last decision will be up to me and this is more to get an outside perspective, so if you have one you'd want to share let me know!

Here's little personal thoughts on why any of these favs of mine might fit me, as well as little blurbs about what i like about them.

Cyndaquil Family: Cyndaquil was my first pokemon of my first game and its still my fav. I like cyndaquil because im a shy person, and its a bit of a timid mon only pulling its fire out in certain situations, but grows into a fierce pokemon. I liked the idea as a partner cyndaquil could help pull me out of my shell a little, i think that could fit for a sona too. (Note this is the johtonian line, i prefer it to hisuian)

Popplio Family: Popplio is my second favorite pokemon starter, and the only starter to rival my love for cyndaquil enough to make it in my top favs (still waiting on a grass starter to help me make a trifecta). Popplio is one of the many claimed trans pokemon (one of two water/fairy types), which is a little on the nose but works just fine with me. Being trans is a huge part of who i am. What really sets it above is the combination of that with music, i love music and in general voice work, and that more than anything had me fall in love with this pokemon. I named myself euphony, and the popplio line with its special move sparkling aria works great with that!

Wimpod Family: If you know me and pokemon you knew there were gonna be bug types, and so here is wimpod! I love wimpod, a little darling baby so weak, so scared,only able to learn two moves akin to a magikarp, but with hard work wimpod gets stronger! Evolving into the huge, strong, and intimidating golisopod! With a signature move (upon release) and signature ability (still one of a kind) i think golisopod gained some courage with that strength, even if it still wont stick to a losing battle. I think theres also to be said about golisopods intimidating stature that iv often felt i had, even if i was more prone to an emergency exit underneath the surface. Like with the cyndaquil line, i feel a kinship do to my own timid nature, and the hopes i can move beyond it.

Hatenna Family: The second pokemon claimed by trans folks, the hatenna family! From the color scheme to its true frame hiding inside its hair to its witchy aesthetic, thats transgender, but not what drew me to it as a pokemon or a pick. Growing up in my household, showing strong emotions was generally not a good thing, parents didnt like dealing with me if i was sad or two excited. I feel a connection to hatenna in that way, like if i grew up in the pokemon world maybe learning to keep calm could have helped me meet this pokemon, and they could have spent that time with me when i had to push emotions away. I would also sometimes found myself overwhelmed during confrontation as a child, which im working on still today but is another mark in hatennas cap.

Fomantis Family: Fomantis marks the third pokemon from alola to make it onto this list, which should go to show you what a fantastic entry it is, at least imo. Fomantis is, surprisingly, not the second bug type in this list, contrary to its appearance it is a mono grass type. That is the euphy connection! Growing up, both for transgender and other reasons i often felt iv had to pretend to be something im not. My default coping mechanism is fawning, if a situation gets tough the easiest way out for me is to play along until i can get outta there, and fomantis is much the same using its appearance to fool bug types. I'd say our main difference is i simply love the bugs!

Goomy Family: Goomy, the weakest dragon type! The minute I read its pokedex entry it became my favorite dragon, favorite in all of kalos! I have a thing for taking weak pokemon, working with them and getting stronger together in the games, goomy, wimpod, and a hand full of others fit this bill to me! Goomy's also just wonderful! Soft, squishy friend to hug, the kindest eyes in its final evo, but dont be fooled this is the pseudo legend of kalos, strength is its middle name! Like with wimpod or cyndaquil, the idea of going from shy and weak to something stronger appeals to me, and, i am also a little softer than a typhlosion or a golisopod in reality. (Once again this refers to the kalos line not the hisui)

Larvesta Family: A late entry and our true and final bug on the list. If im being honest, the larvesta line made it on this list more for its connection to my sona than myself. I love larvesta, it was actually the second bug type pokemon i truly fell in love with (right after heracross, fitting slither wing would steal its typing). In truth i dont have a lot of connection with this pokemon, theres the bug and moth aesthetic (moths and beetles are my go to's for bugs), the fact that similar to many of the above its a weaker pokemon with a long road to get strong, a slight connection in the way i can sometimes feel hazardous, but thats about it. As for my sona though, you know she is a moth, you know she deals in the radiation of the sun (you knew that right, fusion not fission, for the most part neway) you know shes got a main white color scheme, and pulling from volcarona and slither wing i can get both some fun green eyes (shiny rona) and some nice green stars speckled on the wings. Its interesting that, while i do think i have a strong enough emotional connection, its probably the greater design connection that won this family a spot here.

[silky-silks]

Minty reminds me of a Minecraft sniffer, just as fluffy and cute :3

Well My Fellow Friend, I have to say

Minty is a Minecraft Sniffer

Well, a rejected one but I wont get too deep in that. Actually scratch that I will. Have a lore dump for you! (get your pen and paper ready because im literally about to spew 100 hours worth of pointless words)

Minty is a boy, he was part of a group of Sniffers I like to call "Sneezes."

(A group of Sniffers in my opinon is going to be called Sneeze.)

He was originally the smallest of the group until one day after randomly wandering around he finds a hanging hand parasite from oak tree. At first it had no name. Suddenly the hand parasite attached its body to Minty, casuing him to grow to a arrangment of teeth on his back as well as a awful red hue. The hand soon was able to speak, in a rather cheery and very yappy voice. Now its to note these two had no offcial name so Syrup and Minty just really didnt refer to each other as name. Also Minty cannot talk, only can make noises.

When the connection happens. Syrup explains to Minty how he got stuck in that tree. Minty surprisnly doesnt seem to mind Syrup as in his "Sneeze"no one really talked. He was interested so he kept Syrup around.

Personality

Syrup as usual is the talker of the duo while Minty is reserved in quiet. The share one thing is common and that is their curiosity. The only difference is Syrup can express his with words while Minty can only say "dum".

Goals:

One day walking through a village they saw a villager trading with someone. Syrup wanted to try it out but failed miserably as no one wanted their "good" (They didnt understand how worthy emeralds were) and couldnt really get info as the villagers became rather annoyed or scared if Syrup and Minty due to their weird looks. Determined to fit in with the group, they looked everywhere and met with other humans "Steve and Alex" to learn how to trade, along the way they discover mining and archelogy.

Other Lore Spooky Month (Oc Based)

They stay relatively the same in design for Spooky month, and I have shown a bit of then interacting with Nina and Grant

(characters belonging to ericvelseb666)

Their prescese was alarming to everyone there, literally everyone was like "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT".

Syruo became nervous and Minty grew protective of his friend. As he deliver bites and growls they were scared off by Jack and John until Stumbling across a holy site. Starry Night Bakery. Inside Syrup saw all the cool sweets, and with the little money they had at the time (more of stolen as some guy dropped their wallet and ran), they ordered a lot of Turnovers and snacks from Nina and Grant. Not understanding change they left a bit too much money and hurried off with their snacks.

(old art, this was a redone concept deisgn when I didnt know what I wanted to do with them yet)

It was the first time they felt truly accepted, and they did miss Nina and Grant as they didnt go all "Oh my god what is that?!" on them. Syrup wishes to work there but stays hidden for now. Until they heard she was hiring. And Well you get what happened next. They realize the lacked a proper name, so they gave themselves one. Well Syrup names Minty, "Minty" for his colors and Syrup names himself Syrup after eating pancakes some stranger left for them with the strange liquid on top.

Minus the Frank torture, Syrup and Minty were a grateful duo. They stuck close to Nina and Grant, and for the first time Minty became more "emotional". Always flapping his ears, sniffing and nose booping, even doing little stomps when he sees Grant. (He mistakes Grant for a sniffer for some god forsaken reason)

Syrup will bring Torchflowers for Nina whenever they can as a sign of "thanks" as they are very very grateful monsters.

WELCOME HOME

Not much content on this one as I am still working on a offical deisng for them. But Minty and Syrup are just trying to understand the universe and what is happening with HOME and the rest of the puppets.

Due to their odd looks, the neighborhood was quite questionable.

But for the meantime, Minty hates Frank for inspecting Syrup. Poor guy got Mauled.

Oh and they became uber drivers in the backrooms. Why? Dont know. Currently trying to shove them in Cuphead, so they may end up working for the devil BUT are saved by angels as they are just desperate for some work. Besides they suck at contracts, the devil himself got tired of them.

YOU CALLED AN UBER??????

CONCLUSION

Thats Minty and Syrup for ya! I know you didn't ask for all of this but hey i Wanted to treat you with some rather cool lore. So if ya choose to ignore all of this that's fine!

[whumpshaped]

LMAO YOUR OPINION SO TRUE, I've seen people write whumpees getting tortured and assaulted and mutilated and starved and beaten every day for literal years and they still have them acting like it didn't traumatize them 😂 "no they're just really strong sorry I don't like PATHETIC WEAK whumpees who *checks notes* act like an actual human would upon being tortured and get trauma, what's trauma lol? Not real. Now move along, it's time for him make jokes about his 3rd anniversary of pethood"

to be very very clear i am absolutely not saying ppl writing defiant or "unrealistic" whumpees r bad writers or their stories r bad or anything, its just not my personal taste. like, ive seen ppl be like "ugh pathetic broken whumpees are so boring" and that already triggers my rsd so i wanna be clear that i am NOT trying to put anyone down at all, please write what brings u the most joy, because there will be plenty plenty others who love that same thing.

this got long bc im rambling im sorry

but yes what u describe is absolutely my pet peeve, for the sole reason that my own personality is soooooo far away from that that i cant project lol actually, i wonder if it rly is unrealistic, or if there are ppl who have such a strong detachment from their situation that theyd continue to act that way. or even just... you know how people can get used to everything. and how with chronic pain for example, the pain gets "boring" and you wont see those ppl just rolling around the floor in agony 24/7 bc thats not very fun. they just learn to function w pain levels potentially much higher than average. i wonder if a whumpee whos been in captivity for 3 yrs could have a similar situation where theyre just tired of being scared and they have no joys other than making whumper's eye twich. (and only break down after the stressors and repeated trauma are gone)

i think my whumpees swing the other way on the unrealism spectrum (or maybe not idk ive never been thru that and fingers crossed i never will) and im sure thats also annoying for some people. but if u know me, u know i am obsessed w rules and order. breaking rules of any kind gives me immense anxiety. i also hate unfair treatment to death! so if i see a whumpee break rules and succeed and thats how they gain advantages, it pisses me off! bc they just broke the rules why r they getting better treatment!! even if they get worse treatment im just huffing and puffing bc well u couldve avoided that!! i wouldve!!

another reason is that if whumpee is successfully defiant and pissing whumper off or smth, getting under their skin, whatever, it takes me out of the whumper fantasy... if u saw me describe my ideal whumper u saw how i literally wrote mary sue. that includes being able to control and break their whumpee. if whumpee isnt following the rules it makes me question the whumper, and i dont like questioning the whumper, i want the whumper to be in absolute and utter control of everything.

BUT AGAIN THATS ALL PERSONAL OPINION. thats what i like, thats what i write, thats what i seek out from others. i hope others have a very fun time writing as defiant whumpees as their heart desires.

[inqilabi]

I’m kind of surprised you started dating a lot more and are open to Islam recently, you’re one of the reasons I stopped entirely, which neither is a wrong thing to do. It’s kind of hard to do it alone but I just prioritized friendships in the time I’ve been following you. Which actually is closer to 10 years now I think, definitely since way before the pandemic. Anyway it’s just been on my mind to send this ask for a while now, you seem so successful that when I get to be where you are I know I’ll be even less interested in marriage and dating, but I guess that’s also a plus for you since you said you want kids. Good luck with it all, It’s great you were able to reconcile yourself and Islam, I’ve never felt like religion could be fulfilling, especially when you have views on gender and politics that go again the core tenants of a patriarchal religion. But I can see how the immediate community has its appeal and people are judged overly harshly when they don’t conform to societal and gender expectations of be a woman/man then have a partner/kids, and it’s not like there aren’t other good things too. Anyway I’m glad I followed you when I did because I got a new perspective and it made me more of a brave, accountable person, I’m not really afraid of being lonely and I can take accountability for my wrongs too, knowing that socialization is so deep I need to think about why and what I’m doing. You a few other people impacted me so deeply when I was 16 and trying to leave my parents home

wow this is a very sweet message. But almost makes feel scared that i had an impact on impressionable young teens I dont think my views on Islam have changed, certainly not as much as my view on dating. I still have the same criticisms of sunni jurisprudence. I think i just have less of exposure to that community now as i did back in the day, and it just use to rile me up. I was just angry, justifiably so, and wanting to dismiss everything - and it showed up in the tone of my writing.

I mean i still can't go around muslim events saying the things i actually believe. Sunni jurisprudence is undeniably patriarchal. But so long as they aren't like getting very preachy, doing halaqas and sermons on how to oppress women, im okay. In my uni days, MSAs were actually doing exactly that. That's why i was so critical. But i see now this type of thing seems to be dying down, atleast in my area. i dont find religion fulfilling but i do find likeminded people fulfilling. I still associate more with like academic type folks who either research religion, anthropology, write critiques. I went to a party full of marxists the other day. I didnt agree with everyone there. But i suppose, its discussion that's fulfilling. And sometimes muslim community and gathering can be very dismissive and not receptive to discussion. Which is a shame because in the islamic golden age, that's all they were doing.

i was honestly planning to be alone, and my plan was to solo adopt a kid if i wanted a child. I felt this way all the way up until like summer of 2022. then something did change. and i didn't want to be alone. if you had asked the 2013-2022 version of me, i would have balked at the thought of me wanting a partner. I was almost proud of it. Proud of being a single unattached woman with no men in her life. I suppose the only thing I can say now is that it's very hard to predict how and what you will feel and want at some point in the future. I was certain that I wouldn't want companionship and kids. Half my blog was dedicated to it. And that is kind of scary. I actually wrote about this on my blog back in the fall of 2022. It scared me how much something had shifted so suddenly, something that was a such long held state. If that could change, what else could change?

At your age, i would say prioritize career first ofc/financial freedom etc. If you dont have that, you wont feel ready for anything else. And ofc keep expanding your friend circle and forming connections through local activities or travel.