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#but at the same time im also so scared that i wont be able to pass the exam and that i dont have enough time to study
bunnihearted · 3 months
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🍓
#i cant do a thing abt it but oh it hurts#and i feel bad bc i feel like he'd think im selfish?#i want him to be happy but cant i be hurt? cant i be sad too?#and i wont chase him. i'd never do anything like that. 9/10 if i dont *feel* wanted regardless of truth#im out of there bc i have avpd </3#but i cling to him?? i mean in an emotional way. like i never put up walls in my mind to numb my feelings for him the way i do w avpd#why is he so different from everyone else for my brqin and heart? i mean i obvi i think hes amazing#but i dont get why my brain doesnt protect me emotion and feeling wise the way it does w everything else#how could he cross all of those boundaries and walls my brain has put in place?#this is why i thought i had found my person. but it gets tricky when i am not his person#nor do i think i can be whrn he's chosen someone else. (i get that i really really do and thats why it hurts sm)#but yeah i'd never chase.. bc like why would i? when i know he didnt choose me to give a chance to. i'd never be as arrogant to try to#think i could be worth a chance or that i could do anything abt it.#so even if it's selfish i hurt sm. even tho at the same time i want him to have what he wants even if it isnt me and never was#bc i do also think.. even if it makes me sound naive.. or actually maybe this is just how *i* feel#if u love someone sm and truly want to be w them u find a way to get there. which i wanted to do bc yeah.. i felt like he was my person#but it's just me. it's me alone in this room and i cant.. stay in here forever bc how is that a life? :(#so idk ig i'll hurt and ache and be in pain for a while. and hopefully one day be able to move on#but facing the world & future without him and not knowing if we'll even talk again is so scary and so hard :(#and like will *i* ever find someone who lights my heart on fire and makes me deeply feel and not being so scared i turn away from it?#the way he does... idk :(#i cant even imagine wanting anyone else but.. im alone in that feeling too so.. it is what it is it is what it is it is what it is
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sleepless-crows · 3 months
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now that ive gone home from vacation, im starting to question why ive been studying so much
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guinevereslancelot · 6 months
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i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔
#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice#and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me#and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also#and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then#and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬#but now i really wish i'd taken that interview#i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday#so i wont literally have to take time off for it#and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early#either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something#but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol#but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no#compared to a few months later#they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good#idkkk#my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break#the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate#but i literally dont care its such a better working environment#and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months#and the work will be so much easier#and the commute#and i Definitely know i can work with my friend#vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly#anyway!!#im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now#but i really hope they give me another chance#also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol#this has been a shitpost
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truckstoptigers · 8 months
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what i want to know is why he wants to talk to me again
why he even tried to get in with a friend request
and when I say it like that it sounds so stupid for me to be so scared, but after years of complete radio silence, the fact that he wants to contact me at all is so fucking terrifying
it doesn't matter that he'll never get a reply. to me the fact that he tried is bad enough
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whole-circus · 1 year
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Hihi I recently started reading your works and stchnvdhnifbmb I'm obsessed now lol
I must ask how the creeps would react to someone who was there for them before they became the way they are now? I'm quite curious (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠;)
Take care and hydrate <333
Creepypastas with reader that had knew them before tragic eventes
➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned
Ahh you waited so long for this Im so sorry!T^T
Also you guys have no idea how sweet that is! Im glad that someone likes to read my scribble! <3 Lots of love and also remember to hydrate! I choose couple of pastas, but feel free to inform me if you would like someone else!
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.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.
☆ Jeff the Killer
During one of this normal days, or maybe during calm night? You finally saw him..You were looking at eachothers, not sure what to do - sure, he may be a killer now..but this killer was once your friend? Does he even recognize you? But to your suprise, he just started laughing. It wasn't his casual maniac laughter..this one were more friendly, just like the laugh of him you remembered. The laugh of your best friend. He remembered you..and even if he is way diffrent now, then the part of him is still your best friend. You are finally something good in his miserable life, and he almost felt normal once again. Its funny how you make a man like him smile and sigh in relief, just by your presence. And he doesn't care what he did do somehow deserved you again - all he could do is being grateful for that.
☆ Homicidal Liu
You manage to meet Liu on one, ordinary night. Even if he looked, oh so diffrent, then inside you could still recognize his past self. When it comes to Liu, he couldnt believe his luck in that moment. He craves for sense of normalcy like nothing else, its his only true wish..but now you are here again? He start to remember all this nice moments from his childhood..you were in all of them! Even if he didnt recognize you at first, he felt so many strong emotions and could find something familiar..and like that after a quick chat you finally were in eachothers arms once again. There you were..his only hope and only love, you have no idea how long he had waited for you - and when he finally got you, he wont let you go again.
☆ "Ticci" Toby
After everything he had done, Toby really became all this names they used to call him in school - he was a monster, a freak in fact. Could you even look at him in the same, sweet way you used to as a kid? He was scared, constantly scared..so he didnt made a first move. Until that day. When he finally saw you again, he finally felt at peace. The feeling when you were again in his arms felt like coming home from a long journey. He was able to feel the same thing, the same love and care from you. And he already felt much better, just from seeing your smile again.
☆ Eyeless Jack
He was sure you wouldn't recognize him..now he was a monster after all, a inhuman being, a demon straight from poeple nightmares. But he wished, he dreamed that you would look at him in the same way - they way you used to when everything was normal. Meeting you again made him so incredible happy..he almost feel human again! All he could do was just hug you, and sob quietly.. you had so much to talk about, but you have time for that..the only thing that matter is you right now.
☆ Ben Drowned
Ben wasnt the same person you used to cherish and care for..shit, he wasnt even a person, a human anymore. So was he still worth of your friendship? Your sweet words and hugs? Was he even worth looking at you? But he finally decide to meet you once more, he had all eternity and he needs you to make it worth exisitng. So when he showed up at your doors? He had it all planned, the things he will do and say..but just seeing you made him tear up and look in guilt to the ground. His always cool and smug persona, was replaced with the seriousness and culpability. And when you took him into your warm embrace? When you started to shush him ,a dcomfort him? He felt at peace once again, almost like nothing else matters but you both. You already made him the happiest and nothing can compare to you, nothing else in this world.
.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.
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Im an american and I'm so scared of the future. I think I'm gonna die under a trump presidency and I don't what to do.
There are people dying under Biden now and with the supreme court decision to criminalize homeless people I suspect that there will soon be more.
That to say, solidarity will be our salvation in the face of fascists trying to divide us with fear and attacks on our rights. Yeah it is terrifying, but there are more oppressed people than there are oppressors. There is a reason they are attacking our communities one at a time, fear mongering, and trying to make us choose a side all at the same time.
What you need to do is the scary thing and put your trust in activists and leftists who are desperately shouting from the rooftops that the most important thing we can do right now is put our foot down and disengage from a corrupt two party system that only uplifts white supremacist fascists.
We have an awful government because we allow awful people in our government. Point blank. There is no getting around that or making excuses for it anymore. That led us here, right?
Whatever happens, no matter how this election goes the next 4 years are going to be impossible to describe in how bad it will be for people across the planet and the planet itself.
Honestly? You should be scared. Only fascists wouldnt be. But, if you're able to do something about it then let that fear turn into rage and become your fire.
Get mad at the people who put you in this impossible position. Because they knew better and they didn't care about your life or the millions of others at risk everyday! Why the hell should any of us keep playing into a system where our own president (and plenty of other politicians throughout time) can say we should die for the economy, for this country, for them when they wont let us walk down the street holding hands with our trans partner, when they kill our communities for jogging while Black, when they wont even let us live in poverty without sending us to prison!! People work themselves to the bone in this country to get by and you're telling me they'll never own or deserve a home? That even at the end of serving a long war, one of the most patriotic and respectable things you can do for an imperialist country, a veteran's kindest statistic to come home to is still an early death?
Fuck that.
Shits fucked. It's been fucked for a long time. If you're fine now you'll probably be fine under Trump if we're being honest.
But if that chance you won't be keeps you up at night, know that you aren't alone. That fear in your heart, that pit in your stomach is something every oppressed person has in common and it will be what unites us.
Like I said. Let it turn to rage, to fire. A single candle is no big deal to put out, but could they stop a wildfire so easily?
You're not going to die under Trump.
There are too many of us being wronged by the same exact systems. And as long as we focus on that and build on that instead of arguing over which system leader the worst, then we'll be fine. The point is they all suck, right? So find common ground there instead of discourse.
Solidarity can look like:
Donating! to bail funds, Palestinian escape gfms, human rights orgs, grassroots activists circles, directly to marginalized people, etc.
Not advocating for the two party system/voting blue
Remembering that equality will not be gained by stepping on someone else- no more compromising the needs of others. If one person says something hurts then their pain can't be part of any solution to someone else's problem.
On that note: listening when PoC and esp Black women tell you when something is racist, harmful, or oppressive. Listen when you are told that the solution you are considering will still leave people marginalized, isn't accessible, and/or isn't inclusive enough.
Solidarity also looks like not taking it personally when you are told that the action/opinion you just voiced was hurtful or ignorant or even bigoted. You DO have misinformed opinions and beliefs and you WILL be checked on those when they occur (just like you check others probably.) No, not everyone will be nice about it and you shouldn't let that discourage you! You should remember that being checked is exactly what everyone is gonna have to get used to. That is what building a better future is gonna look and feel like for everyone at some point. Everyone is ignorant about something. Just learn to say thank you when you're educated for free.
Get used to discomfort!! A little discomfort now is going to be worth the human rights and solidarity and justice we have later. Solidarity is gonna look like Not constantly centering your own comfort or lifestyle or privileges. It's gonna look like reading the room and knowing what a tone deaf comment/request is and when your silence is more appropriate (This is how you will earn trust in community spaces that've become hypervigilant of bad faith allies)
You figure out what your community needs and seek to provide it through either donations, working with local orgs, labor, awareness, (ex: donating/making meals, cleaning, providing clothes or birth control, sharing MutAid requests, boosting activist groups, etc), and showing up to support your community's movements and protests.
Even my tiny rural area has queer meetups, anarchist bookclubs, and a Mexican activist group with a Facebook page; get involved in your community in the ways you can. Learn the names of the people you'll be standing shoulder to shoulder with when Trump supporters start rallying against us all.
The fascist wave can be stopped but none of us will be able to do it alone. You aren't going to die under Trump because none of us are going to let that happen.
The same way you wouldn't let it happen to any of us.
The community that keeps you safe is the one you build.
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zxombii · 2 months
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💉🫀🦴 ︵ " Crazy Lovin' "
( ♡,, › o‹ ,, ) — ❝ for u lonely ppl ❞ mimi says.
︶︶ . ˚ ticci toby relationship headcannons ⑅
— gender non-specified. warning for obsessive/possessive loving, slight one-sided love, hint of murdering/yandere behavior, unhealthy relationship to a healthier one, scars, suggestive (?), lowkey corny im sorry
— contains ticci toby, mentions of clockwork.
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words of affirmation. giving and receiving. he needs to be aware always that u love him or he can get distant and almost moody, overthinking that ur love for him is non-existent. pls reassure him and he will be back to being silly.
^^ i also like to think about him liking physical touch! he is very touch starved obviously, but just denies it. he doesnt know exactly why he denies it as there is no reasoning to do so, but he just. feels embarrassed. like, "oh yeah btw pls touch me cause i never was loved as a kid and touch actually makes me feel appreciated and cherished". WHO WANTS TO ADMIT THAT REALISTICALLY. (literally the same with words of affirmation. he needs to know he is loved and just touch or praises have him on his knees) (<- not really meant sexually but. ok.)
since he is very busy most the time, dont expect the most love from him. he may need love alot from u, but u wont get alot in return. some ppl might be mad at me for not making him the most amazing loving silly courageous out-going person ever who loves u sm but. cmon. he is a literal killer. yes, he loves u, but he cant always show it considering hes on missions more then half the time. he will smother u in love when he can. i can assure u he feels bad though.
^^ pls be able to suffice having long periods of time alone cause he is not gonna be around alot im srry
really protective. unsurprisingly. he is scared to lose u, and just knowing that he doesnt and isnt able to show his love often, just further worries him that u will leave him for someone else. when he is actually around, he is attached to ur HIP, constantly near u to make up for all the time he wasnt.
^^ when someone flirts with u he swears he physically feels his blood boil and he just cant help it. hes bad at hiding it aswell. like. his hands clench quickly into fists, literally having to remind himself that u wont leave him. if the person isnt one of the proxies, they likely wont be speaking to u again (if u catch my drift).
at the beginning of the relationship, he was very awkward. it was extremely one-sided love, not knowing how to treat u. he felt so bad cause of this. when finally warming up to u he would Never let that leave his mind, occasionally just saying sorry even if in the past. it wasnt really his fault either, never have dated anyone except clockwork but he literally did nothing with her. i have stated in a previous post that he still proceeds to say he has never dated anyone despite dating clockwork for a little while.
knows little to nothing about healthy relationships. healthy? normal? dont know her. what do u expect from a guy who kills practically daily. im sorry but if u think that ur guys relationship is gonna be cupcakes and rainbows, ur so wrong. the beginning of ur guys relationship was awkward as said before, and he was likely weird. and yeah.
^^ chances that u guys met because u wanted to go into the forest (cause ur lowkey dumb /j) is so high. but idk and i dont want to go to indepth incase i make a post on how u met some of the proxies anytime soon.
trauma dumping. u or him. pls just talk he loves listening i promise. really good listener. i kinda headcannon that he is like, 20% deaf in one ear, but anyways um. still a really good listener if ur speaking next to his good ear (sorry)! if u like to listen, he will trauma dump. thing is, he doesnt know when to stop. of course, his skittish and awkward self wouldnt start trauma dumping far into the relationship.
after maybe 6+ months, he will finally showcase his face. when traumadumping, he never mentions his face. like a surprise. but a horrific one. he was obviously scared to lose u and was so scared to show u his mouth, or just his face overall. his eyes have been the only thing u have seen these past 6 or more months. when u accept his facial gash and say it was fine, pls dont be surprised if he cries. might clutch onto u and sob into ur shirt if u allow him. will show u other scars of his if ur comfortable with that, expecting body praise. pls praise him he just wants love
^^ hes still that touch starved, possibly depressed, teen on the inside.
although a little unrealistic (I DONT CARE LOWKEY!!) i think he is very loving further into the relationship. bringing u on dates when he has time, having just time alone to smother u with cuddles and stuff. y'know. the normals. he really does try to be the best boyfriend he can, being aware that he isnt always around to provide the normal amount of affection that should be exchanged between normal couples. of course, u two werent a normal couple. he was a literal murderer and u were.. u. no other way to describe ur relationship other than abnormal which was obvious.
^^ "I d-do luh-love—ghk—you. I pruh-promise. It's just.. h-hard to sh-showcase." he would say to u occasionally.
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— i do not allow my work to be translated, stolen, or anything similar. everything i write is made by me and only me unless i say differently on that post. credits to zxombii on tumblr. i have no side blogs.
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savannahsdeath · 1 year
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Hi <33 I love love love your writing and I really want your take on what fucking santa barbara!Ellie would be like if your up to it 🫶🫶
first of all THANK YOU💗💗 and yes ofc i tried my best !!
SANTA BARBARA!ELLIE X READER HEADCANONS + EXAMPLE ONESHOT
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! smut
writers note: its not like my typical hcs because this ones more like umm with plot?? idk how to say this but i hope ykwim😓ENJOY!!
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🌿 she's definitely rough like im sure 100%
🌿 she would degrade you but she also praises you from time to time
🌿 now, hear me out, she doesnt have her usual smirk. like someeetimessss but mostly she looks so stern and focused youre literally scared to make a sound
🌿 she definitely doesnt care about making a mess. shed be sooo sloppy istg!!!!
🌿 she also doesnt care about whatever youre saying. she barely listens. everytime you hit her with a 'stop/too fast' she either completely ignores you or replies with some 'huh? what did you say?' and shed go even faster..
🌿 she def uses strap but also loves just using her fingers. she just wants to feel it ykwimmm
heres an example story(lets skip the plot)
its not really what i meant but whatever😓
You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, what seemed like an invitation for Ellie to shush you by pressing her lips to yours. It silenced you, but not stopped, as your inaudible groans were now caught in Ellie's throat.
You were unable to move, pressed against the wall, so she didnt need to hold you. With her free hands she started undressing you both, knowing you wont be able to do so by yourself. She didn't break the kiss though, only stopping for a second when she had to pull your shirt over your head and didn't have access to your face. She continued right after.
You're not sure when did you moved to the bed, but here you were, laying down beneath her.
She kissed your neck, leaving wet spots on it. She was moving down your body, as you played with her hair, shutting your eyes closed.
Not long after that, a few more of your body parts were red from her nibbling - inner thighs mostly.
Even though she took her time, it didn't take too long. She knew youre impatient and wasn't in mood to mess with you, not yet, not like that.
Soon after, she buried her face between your legs, planting the same messy kisses all over there.
Her hands were holding onto your thighs, preventing them from clenching. You knew her grip will leave bruises, painful ones too, but you didnt care.
Ellie's tongue was definitely doing a good job, playing with your clit, slidding in and out of your entrance.
Her fingers didn't loose up but her thumbs started gently tracing circles on your skin, which definitely made it seem less aggressive.
When she was finished with her mouth, one of her hands took the initiative. She was rubbing two of her fingers for a few short moments, before pushing them in.
You were finally able to see her face - her expression. She looked at you firmly, like one bad move could get you killed.
You were whining and whimpering, desperately begging her to slow down.
"Sh, shhh... Just take what youre given, will you?" The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards, creating a little smile.
You nodded but continued squirming, your thighs trembling, breath shaking...
"Oh, dont be so dramatic. Youre doing good, you'll handle it, trust me." She reassuringly patted your side. "People survived worse things."
Did that help? Well...
But you knew its the best she can do when it comes to being nice. You couldnt blame her, not after you found out about her past. She killed more people than you ever talked with, after all..
Your mind went blank and you couldnt think of anything to say, so you kept mumbling the two words you always do - 'Ellie' and 'please'. At this point, it seems your mouth remembered how to say these. Your tongue knew exactly what to do to make them come out of your mouth, while it was struggling with any other word.
But it was enough for her to know what you want to say.
When youre finally done (she can tell youre close by the way you scream her name, so she knows when to go faster), she cleans you up with her toned expression.
"See? You'll live, atta fucking girl."
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I missed the Dreamtale twins....well, my version of them atleast
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Honestly I redesigned Nightmare and Dream because I hate the creator and since she throws a tantrum like a baby whenever someone makes a change in her au I use it to make her mad :]
Anyways here is a bit of lore about them:
-Dream and Nightmare arent really "a version of sans", they never been one
-Dream has some plant features in his sans form just like his Mother (he hates it lol)
-Dream uses a sans look like appearance because he doesnt wants to scare people he helps, after all, Both Dream and Nightmare are the sons of an Angel (Yes they do technicaly have a dad), and looking at an Angel like creature is hard and kind of disturbing for mortals, its not hard for their friends to look at them since their eyes have got used to it, but someone Who just met Dream or Nightmare wont be that okay with it
-Nightmare and Dream can be called she, it, he or anything else, they dont label things, That also counts for sexualities, races, genders and more, they are whatever you call them, they wont really care
-Dream and Nightmare has an older brother called "Savior" (Who looks like a papyrus)
-Dream and Nightmare hates their mom, Nim ruined Nightmare by manipulating him to do shit she's not able to do herself and also was one of the reasons for the Apple incident, Dream was neglected a lot by Nim since she was more focused on Nightmare, she was manipulative towards him as well
-Nightmare and Dream made a truce almost a decade ago, they are mostly okay with eachother (they both technicaly are good guys in their own way)
-The only thing Dream and Nightmare has in common with a sans is their love for junk food and bad puns
-Nightmare turning Dream into stone bit might not be in this au (Im not sure yet)
-Nightmare usually doesnt uses a sans disguise since he has trauma related to the incident with it, he usually uses an Undyne disguise if he needs to, Also her second favorite disguise is Asgore
-Nightmare can have a disguise but he cant hide what happened to his eye, that part stays the same
-Sometimes flowers blooms on top of Dream’s head if he's happy or frustered
-Nightmare sees his team as his kids (and talks about them like they are his kids) while Dream sees his team as friends
-Dream's best friend is İnk
-Nightmare and Dream are in good terms
-Dream and Nightmare shares a similiar hate towards mortals like their mom, but ofcourse they have expections
-Nightmare's best friends are Ccino and Abby/Abolitionist Chara
-Dream dates Fresh while Nightmare is with Reaper Sans 🤭
-Nightmare likes reading and tea
-Both Dream and Nightmare will outlive their teams :(
-Dream keeps forgetting that his friends are mortals and they need stuff like sleep and eating at times, meanwhile Nightmare was forced to learn since everyone in his castle are insane and ignores their own needs, meaning Nightmare had to learn to take care of them
-Both Nightmare and Dream are physicaly very strong
-Both Dream and Nightmare can consume rotten food without any issue, they are literal gods of Negativity and Positivity, they cant get sick that easily
-Dream is nice but he isnt weak or dumb, he also does NOT has the mind set of a child, he will kick ass if he needs to
-Both Dream and Nightmare has issues with the english launguage since some words were very different, as an example, the word gay meant "joyful" and "happy" in the past....I dont think I need to explain what kind of train wrack this cauzed
-Savior is a good older brother so both Dream and Nightmare loves him
-Both of the guardians teams did several tests behind Dream and Nightmare's backs to see if they are plants or not, neither of them find the answer yet...
-Dream and Nightmare suspects they might turn into a tree when they become older, they dont like the idea :(
Thats all that I can remember
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meu-meu-kissy-ceutie · 4 months
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Whether you read the read more or not, feel free to reblog or comment with your reasoning. Ultimately the last decision will be up to me and this is more to get an outside perspective, so if you have one you'd want to share let me know!
Here's little personal thoughts on why any of these favs of mine might fit me, as well as little blurbs about what i like about them.
Cyndaquil Family: Cyndaquil was my first pokemon of my first game and its still my fav. I like cyndaquil because im a shy person, and its a bit of a timid mon only pulling its fire out in certain situations, but grows into a fierce pokemon. I liked the idea as a partner cyndaquil could help pull me out of my shell a little, i think that could fit for a sona too. (Note this is the johtonian line, i prefer it to hisuian)
Popplio Family: Popplio is my second favorite pokemon starter, and the only starter to rival my love for cyndaquil enough to make it in my top favs (still waiting on a grass starter to help me make a trifecta). Popplio is one of the many claimed trans pokemon (one of two water/fairy types), which is a little on the nose but works just fine with me. Being trans is a huge part of who i am. What really sets it above is the combination of that with music, i love music and in general voice work, and that more than anything had me fall in love with this pokemon. I named myself euphony, and the popplio line with its special move sparkling aria works great with that!
Wimpod Family: If you know me and pokemon you knew there were gonna be bug types, and so here is wimpod! I love wimpod, a little darling baby so weak, so scared,only able to learn two moves akin to a magikarp, but with hard work wimpod gets stronger! Evolving into the huge, strong, and intimidating golisopod! With a signature move (upon release) and signature ability (still one of a kind) i think golisopod gained some courage with that strength, even if it still wont stick to a losing battle. I think theres also to be said about golisopods intimidating stature that iv often felt i had, even if i was more prone to an emergency exit underneath the surface. Like with the cyndaquil line, i feel a kinship do to my own timid nature, and the hopes i can move beyond it.
Hatenna Family: The second pokemon claimed by trans folks, the hatenna family! From the color scheme to its true frame hiding inside its hair to its witchy aesthetic, thats transgender, but not what drew me to it as a pokemon or a pick. Growing up in my household, showing strong emotions was generally not a good thing, parents didnt like dealing with me if i was sad or two excited. I feel a connection to hatenna in that way, like if i grew up in the pokemon world maybe learning to keep calm could have helped me meet this pokemon, and they could have spent that time with me when i had to push emotions away. I would also sometimes found myself overwhelmed during confrontation as a child, which im working on still today but is another mark in hatennas cap.
Fomantis Family: Fomantis marks the third pokemon from alola to make it onto this list, which should go to show you what a fantastic entry it is, at least imo. Fomantis is, surprisingly, not the second bug type in this list, contrary to its appearance it is a mono grass type. That is the euphy connection! Growing up, both for transgender and other reasons i often felt iv had to pretend to be something im not. My default coping mechanism is fawning, if a situation gets tough the easiest way out for me is to play along until i can get outta there, and fomantis is much the same using its appearance to fool bug types. I'd say our main difference is i simply love the bugs!
Goomy Family: Goomy, the weakest dragon type! The minute I read its pokedex entry it became my favorite dragon, favorite in all of kalos! I have a thing for taking weak pokemon, working with them and getting stronger together in the games, goomy, wimpod, and a hand full of others fit this bill to me! Goomy's also just wonderful! Soft, squishy friend to hug, the kindest eyes in its final evo, but dont be fooled this is the pseudo legend of kalos, strength is its middle name! Like with wimpod or cyndaquil, the idea of going from shy and weak to something stronger appeals to me, and, i am also a little softer than a typhlosion or a golisopod in reality. (Once again this refers to the kalos line not the hisui)
Larvesta Family: A late entry and our true and final bug on the list. If im being honest, the larvesta line made it on this list more for its connection to my sona than myself. I love larvesta, it was actually the second bug type pokemon i truly fell in love with (right after heracross, fitting slither wing would steal its typing). In truth i dont have a lot of connection with this pokemon, theres the bug and moth aesthetic (moths and beetles are my go to's for bugs), the fact that similar to many of the above its a weaker pokemon with a long road to get strong, a slight connection in the way i can sometimes feel hazardous, but thats about it. As for my sona though, you know she is a moth, you know she deals in the radiation of the sun (you knew that right, fusion not fission, for the most part neway) you know shes got a main white color scheme, and pulling from volcarona and slither wing i can get both some fun green eyes (shiny rona) and some nice green stars speckled on the wings. Its interesting that, while i do think i have a strong enough emotional connection, its probably the greater design connection that won this family a spot here.
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silky-silks · 6 months
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Minty reminds me of a Minecraft sniffer, just as fluffy and cute :3
Well My Fellow Friend, I have to say
Minty is a Minecraft Sniffer
Well, a rejected one but I wont get too deep in that. Actually scratch that I will. Have a lore dump for you! (get your pen and paper ready because im literally about to spew 100 hours worth of pointless words)
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Minty is a boy, he was part of a group of Sniffers I like to call "Sneezes."
(A group of Sniffers in my opinon is going to be called Sneeze.)
He was originally the smallest of the group until one day after randomly wandering around he finds a hanging hand parasite from oak tree. At first it had no name. Suddenly the hand parasite attached its body to Minty, casuing him to grow to a arrangment of teeth on his back as well as a awful red hue. The hand soon was able to speak, in a rather cheery and very yappy voice. Now its to note these two had no offcial name so Syrup and Minty just really didnt refer to each other as name. Also Minty cannot talk, only can make noises.
When the connection happens. Syrup explains to Minty how he got stuck in that tree. Minty surprisnly doesnt seem to mind Syrup as in his "Sneeze"no one really talked. He was interested so he kept Syrup around.
Personality
Syrup as usual is the talker of the duo while Minty is reserved in quiet. The share one thing is common and that is their curiosity. The only difference is Syrup can express his with words while Minty can only say "dum".
Goals:
One day walking through a village they saw a villager trading with someone. Syrup wanted to try it out but failed miserably as no one wanted their "good" (They didnt understand how worthy emeralds were) and couldnt really get info as the villagers became rather annoyed or scared if Syrup and Minty due to their weird looks. Determined to fit in with the group, they looked everywhere and met with other humans "Steve and Alex" to learn how to trade, along the way they discover mining and archelogy.
Other Lore Spooky Month (Oc Based)
They stay relatively the same in design for Spooky month, and I have shown a bit of then interacting with Nina and Grant
(characters belonging to ericvelseb666)
Their prescese was alarming to everyone there, literally everyone was like "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT".
Syruo became nervous and Minty grew protective of his friend. As he deliver bites and growls they were scared off by Jack and John until Stumbling across a holy site. Starry Night Bakery. Inside Syrup saw all the cool sweets, and with the little money they had at the time (more of stolen as some guy dropped their wallet and ran), they ordered a lot of Turnovers and snacks from Nina and Grant. Not understanding change they left a bit too much money and hurried off with their snacks.
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(old art, this was a redone concept deisgn when I didnt know what I wanted to do with them yet)
It was the first time they felt truly accepted, and they did miss Nina and Grant as they didnt go all "Oh my god what is that?!" on them. Syrup wishes to work there but stays hidden for now. Until they heard she was hiring. And Well you get what happened next. They realize the lacked a proper name, so they gave themselves one. Well Syrup names Minty, "Minty" for his colors and Syrup names himself Syrup after eating pancakes some stranger left for them with the strange liquid on top.
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Minus the Frank torture, Syrup and Minty were a grateful duo. They stuck close to Nina and Grant, and for the first time Minty became more "emotional". Always flapping his ears, sniffing and nose booping, even doing little stomps when he sees Grant. (He mistakes Grant for a sniffer for some god forsaken reason)
Syrup will bring Torchflowers for Nina whenever they can as a sign of "thanks" as they are very very grateful monsters.
WELCOME HOME
Not much content on this one as I am still working on a offical deisng for them. But Minty and Syrup are just trying to understand the universe and what is happening with HOME and the rest of the puppets.
Due to their odd looks, the neighborhood was quite questionable.
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But for the meantime, Minty hates Frank for inspecting Syrup. Poor guy got Mauled.
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Oh and they became uber drivers in the backrooms. Why? Dont know. Currently trying to shove them in Cuphead, so they may end up working for the devil BUT are saved by angels as they are just desperate for some work. Besides they suck at contracts, the devil himself got tired of them.
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YOU CALLED AN UBER??????
CONCLUSION
Thats Minty and Syrup for ya! I know you didn't ask for all of this but hey i Wanted to treat you with some rather cool lore. So if ya choose to ignore all of this that's fine!
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whumpshaped · 1 year
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LMAO YOUR OPINION SO TRUE, I've seen people write whumpees getting tortured and assaulted and mutilated and starved and beaten every day for literal years and they still have them acting like it didn't traumatize them 😂 "no they're just really strong sorry I don't like PATHETIC WEAK whumpees who *checks notes* act like an actual human would upon being tortured and get trauma, what's trauma lol? Not real. Now move along, it's time for him make jokes about his 3rd anniversary of pethood"
to be very very clear i am absolutely not saying ppl writing defiant or "unrealistic" whumpees r bad writers or their stories r bad or anything, its just not my personal taste. like, ive seen ppl be like "ugh pathetic broken whumpees are so boring" and that already triggers my rsd so i wanna be clear that i am NOT trying to put anyone down at all, please write what brings u the most joy, because there will be plenty plenty others who love that same thing.
this got long bc im rambling im sorry
but yes what u describe is absolutely my pet peeve, for the sole reason that my own personality is soooooo far away from that that i cant project lol actually, i wonder if it rly is unrealistic, or if there are ppl who have such a strong detachment from their situation that theyd continue to act that way. or even just... you know how people can get used to everything. and how with chronic pain for example, the pain gets "boring" and you wont see those ppl just rolling around the floor in agony 24/7 bc thats not very fun. they just learn to function w pain levels potentially much higher than average. i wonder if a whumpee whos been in captivity for 3 yrs could have a similar situation where theyre just tired of being scared and they have no joys other than making whumper's eye twich. (and only break down after the stressors and repeated trauma are gone)
i think my whumpees swing the other way on the unrealism spectrum (or maybe not idk ive never been thru that and fingers crossed i never will) and im sure thats also annoying for some people. but if u know me, u know i am obsessed w rules and order. breaking rules of any kind gives me immense anxiety. i also hate unfair treatment to death! so if i see a whumpee break rules and succeed and thats how they gain advantages, it pisses me off! bc they just broke the rules why r they getting better treatment!! even if they get worse treatment im just huffing and puffing bc well u couldve avoided that!! i wouldve!!
another reason is that if whumpee is successfully defiant and pissing whumper off or smth, getting under their skin, whatever, it takes me out of the whumper fantasy... if u saw me describe my ideal whumper u saw how i literally wrote mary sue. that includes being able to control and break their whumpee. if whumpee isnt following the rules it makes me question the whumper, and i dont like questioning the whumper, i want the whumper to be in absolute and utter control of everything.
BUT AGAIN THATS ALL PERSONAL OPINION. thats what i like, thats what i write, thats what i seek out from others. i hope others have a very fun time writing as defiant whumpees as their heart desires.
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inqilabi · 6 months
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I’m kind of surprised you started dating a lot more and are open to Islam recently, you’re one of the reasons I stopped entirely, which neither is a wrong thing to do. It’s kind of hard to do it alone but I just prioritized friendships in the time I’ve been following you. Which actually is closer to 10 years now I think, definitely since way before the pandemic. Anyway it’s just been on my mind to send this ask for a while now, you seem so successful that when I get to be where you are I know I’ll be even less interested in marriage and dating, but I guess that’s also a plus for you since you said you want kids. Good luck with it all, It’s great you were able to reconcile yourself and Islam, I’ve never felt like religion could be fulfilling, especially when you have views on gender and politics that go again the core tenants of a patriarchal religion. But I can see how the immediate community has its appeal and people are judged overly harshly when they don’t conform to societal and gender expectations of be a woman/man then have a partner/kids, and it’s not like there aren’t other good things too. Anyway I’m glad I followed you when I did because I got a new perspective and it made me more of a brave, accountable person, I’m not really afraid of being lonely and I can take accountability for my wrongs too, knowing that socialization is so deep I need to think about why and what I’m doing. You a few other people impacted me so deeply when I was 16 and trying to leave my parents home
wow this is a very sweet message. But almost makes feel scared that i had an impact on impressionable young teens I dont think my views on Islam have changed, certainly not as much as my view on dating. I still have the same criticisms of sunni jurisprudence. I think i just have less of exposure to that community now as i did back in the day, and it just use to rile me up. I was just angry, justifiably so, and wanting to dismiss everything - and it showed up in the tone of my writing.
I mean i still can't go around muslim events saying the things i actually believe. Sunni jurisprudence is undeniably patriarchal. But so long as they aren't like getting very preachy, doing halaqas and sermons on how to oppress women, im okay. In my uni days, MSAs were actually doing exactly that. That's why i was so critical. But i see now this type of thing seems to be dying down, atleast in my area. i dont find religion fulfilling but i do find likeminded people fulfilling. I still associate more with like academic type folks who either research religion, anthropology, write critiques. I went to a party full of marxists the other day. I didnt agree with everyone there. But i suppose, its discussion that's fulfilling. And sometimes muslim community and gathering can be very dismissive and not receptive to discussion. Which is a shame because in the islamic golden age, that's all they were doing.
i was honestly planning to be alone, and my plan was to solo adopt a kid if i wanted a child. I felt this way all the way up until like summer of 2022. then something did change. and i didn't want to be alone. if you had asked the 2013-2022 version of me, i would have balked at the thought of me wanting a partner. I was almost proud of it. Proud of being a single unattached woman with no men in her life. I suppose the only thing I can say now is that it's very hard to predict how and what you will feel and want at some point in the future. I was certain that I wouldn't want companionship and kids. Half my blog was dedicated to it. And that is kind of scary. I actually wrote about this on my blog back in the fall of 2022. It scared me how much something had shifted so suddenly, something that was a such long held state. If that could change, what else could change?
At your age, i would say prioritize career first ofc/financial freedom etc. If you dont have that, you wont feel ready for anything else. And ofc keep expanding your friend circle and forming connections through local activities or travel.
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hiii ummm as someone who hasn’t listened to any of vega’s stuff (and is a little scared to) i just wanted to ask what you like about him. ok thanks bye :3
Hi!!
ALSO OH MY GOD!!! I WILL GLADLY TELL YOU!
(also tagging @clover-46 so she can be like "oh yeah this all makes sense. im a vega simp now.)
Don't be scared to listen to his playlist if you don't mind the gaslighting and such. He's not mean to Warden, but is actually kind of sweet to them. But if you dont like second guessing if youre being manipulated or not, then yeah... don't listen to his playlist. He's very sneaky.
-- TO MY LIST NOW --
I typically just go for villain/anti-heroes. Red flags are, unfortunately, what I find attractive. (in fiction and reality :') ) NOT ALL THE TIME THOUGH I SWEAR I HAVE COMMON SENSE
His annunciation. The way he speaks just scratches a very nice part of my brain. And if someone has a nice voice, it tends to capture my heart. It's more than just vocal fry, deepness, ect. It's the way he speaks.
He's multifaceted. At first we think he's evil because we see him from Freelancer's perspective. But when Carpe Deus comes around, it shows him in a different reality. He didn't just do what he did to Ivan because he wanted some yummy snacks. There was a genuine reason behind it.
I love the way he interacts with people. It's kind of patronizing but so subtle that you notice it, but you dont notice the extent of it.
He's poetic. He has such an extensive vocabulary, and he doesn't swear often. There's something to say about someone who is able to absolutely verbally obliterate someone, all without really swearing.
He's a sadism demon. (iykyk)
Vega doesn't actually touch Warden all that much. (from my understanding he just touches them when they need help) And irl I literally hate it when people touch me. So having a character that canonically doesn't have a lot of clear show of touching the listener took me out of the way I simp over fictional character and made it more how I simp over irl people. There's two sides.
His pet name for Warden (besides warden). Being called "Darling" makes me all flustered. Sam's is a bit different because he leaves off the "g", which leads back to the annunciation. There are a few words that sound better when you leave off letters, but for me Darling isn't one of them. (That doesn't mean I don't enjoy Sam's "Darlin", but just not as much as I enjoy Vega's "Darling")
I mentioned this before in a separate post, but Imp!Vega is very soft with Pet (that pet name omg im melting). I'm of the opinion that every canon character has the same qualities as their Imp! counterparts, so Canon Vega has the same possibilities to be soft with Warden. Soft Vega hits different.
Vega has a demon listener. None of the other's have that, and Erik's Demons and Daemons system is so fascinating to me, that I jump on any chance to be a part of that. Also I love designing demons, so having a reason to make a demon OC that I can show off to people and they wont just be like "okay?" is very nice. It doesn't really have anything to do with Vega, but it's one of the reasons I like him.
His one liners. He thinks of them on the spot (yes ik its from a script, but from an immersion level) and that kind fo wit is hella attractive.
How sneaky he is. That takes a level of thought and intelligence to hide it. And I fall very easily if someone is smart. Especially if they don't say it outright, but these little things they do express it.
Going back to my attraction to red flags, the power imbalance between Warden and him. And I'm talking legitimately about magic power. He said he's much older than Warden and therefore is more powerful. Feeling small and insignificant in that kind of way lessens my anxiety so much.
He offers excuses. Not for his behavior (well he does that too, but that's not what I'm talking about.) but rather excuses to his love to safeguard them. He did that with Pet in case he lost against the imperium. He does it with Warden in case they get caught going with Vega. He doesn't want their lives to be messed up. it's a small way to show he cares, but grand displays overwhelm me.
He's very fun to write. I'll write for nearly every character if I love the world/fandom. But he's so complicated to write and fun. I get to put this psych degree I'm working towards (we'll see if I change my major this year or next year. Idek) into my writing and it's fun. It helps renew my passion for psychology since it's getting burned out for the past several months. (I've been into it since I was in middle school) I have so many pages in my docs and notebooks where it's just a full analysis on him. (Going back to he's an interesting character.
Also I'm just a total degenerate.
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is-that-plural · 2 months
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urgh not to feed into the whole demonization stuff but postal dude from the POSTAL game franchise is plural coded (and i am allowed to say this having DID.. bc i get so mad when singlets say he has "split/multiple personality disorder" (also bc its the outdated name) but when i see someone who is a system say he is im likd. YES (also most of the time those people who claim MPD on him are doing it to demonize the disorder and add nothing else.. like no nuance or whatever at all or deep discussion) GOING TO RAMBLE SORRY (should also probably content warn. postal is a pretty violent/graphic/dark humor franchise so theres gonna be bringing up of violence and guns, and also some semi disturbing imagery?? mostly it just being eerie, demon visuals, and scopophobia).. oh also religion trauma talk ALSO SPOILERS FOR POSTAL 1997 (?) AND POSTAL BRAIN DAMAGED!!! -------------------------------------------------------------
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so, in POSTAL 1 (1997), theres this whole thing where, if you look at postal dude's voicelines from Rick Hunter, iirc (my memory is a bit rusty) theyre labeled with "demon", and his death/pain sounds are voiced by Vince Desi and arent labelled as such. its also heavily implied that postal dude is TERRIFIED and scared, but then his voicelines are him making snide and mocking remarks. it has been implied that he may be "possessed by a demon" but also that he has multiple mental conditions.
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now, in POSTAL: Brain Damaged, this becomes extremely obvious. we are now more into the future, and Dude has to fight against other dude inside his own head. Other dude is the "demon" from postal 1997.
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(other dude on the left, postal dude on the right.) other dude's speech at the final cutscene, he specifically talks about how they are basically one in the same, while he also cannot be killed or defeated. (and um. after this he gets shot in the head by postal dude, and "dies" but ill get to that.) (i know alter death isnt real, but us, along with other systems weve seen, have said that in headspace , an alter for example may look like they are dead or something happened to them, but that didnt actually kill them and they arent dead. it has been said this is usually a stress thing, or a coping mechanism. we have done stuff like this before.) so i dont believe other dude is dead. ALSO! when postal dude shot him, he brought up not being able to remember things he learned in childhood after that, and his brain was going all dumb,, https://www.kapwing.com/videos/66bab3c776014924d543c4c6 (tumblr wont let me put a video so i hope this link will work!! if it doesnt you can just look up the final cutscene of the game, but like the warnings i put up above they are fighting and he does get shot.) -------------------------------------------------------------- FINAL THOUGHTS my take/headcanon whatever u wanna call it, as a DID system, is that he may have DID or OSDD-1a. but instead of just claiming that and not digging into anything else or finding nuances, here's some other stuff. as a persecutor in our sys myself who also recently fused with postal 1997 being the source, and also our other few postal introjects (a few who are also persecutors), Postal dude and Other dude are system coded. I think Other dude is a mislead persecutor who is fully convinced he is a demon, on top of Postal dude thinking the same about other dude. A big thing that happens with many systems because of trauma, especially religious trauma, is thinking they are possessed (and sometimes even those around the system also calling them possessed,) and because postal dude never got the help they needed, they have some, what i like to call, internalized demonization. the first case we ever see the postal dude is in 1997 (which is also the year the game takes place in and not just the games date), and to my math, postal dude is canonically 53-54 this current year. of course he wouldnt have gotten help, especially how under researched CDDs are still to this day! and i do think they have religious trauma, i mean, the entire thing for postal 1997 is dude thinking he is cleansing the earth for god or something. POSTAL 1997 has "diary entries" (which turn into "war journal" after a bit) and they all have very obvious religious ramblings. so, my conclusion, postal dude has DID or OSDD-1A, heavy internalized demonization, religious trauma, and is system coded. i rest my case. also... just look at this image bro tell me he isnt plural,,
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SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG I JUST LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS and despite this might being seen as demonizing DID, personally i and a few others ive met who like postal and are systems dont see it that way and postal actually makes us feel seen lol
!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR THE RANT
a rant is actually Really needed, because i can only do so much research myself on media we're unfamiliar with, so for you all to give your reasoning and explanations is absolutely PERFECT !!
Rating: CASE CLOSED: That Dude is Plural !
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the-s1lly-corner · 10 months
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Hey man, its me again~
(If i may overwhelm you or anything just say so, i sometimes dont understand the limits of being too annoying)
So. Hehm. I got covid. And. I was sick for a few weeks but then yesterday it became very, very bad(i presume because of stress and overexaustion, as well as due to not taking care of myself properly..) to the point of not being able to hold a bottle. I felt kinda horrible, but until night that was only the start. I could only lay in bed, overheated, and ended up falling asleep midday and having hallucinations/nightmares at night. I woke up in tears after a supposedly silly goofy dream(caine×kinger (i just knew they were a couple) arguing, well, more like kinger being very, very mad for some reason and caine looking at him with his pathetic sad eyes while trying to argue back/explain himself. Also there was zooble looking all smug at The Camera like in Office in a way only an asshole weedsmoker would do, all relaxed. Oh also it was a Zombie Apocalypse au and kinger just had a big booty for no reason) and hyperventilating, it was horrifying for some reason(maybe because i love the guys... royalteeth<3). I was Very Delirious.(i am a bit better after finally being taken seriously and given medication after
Anyway i said all this only for you to know about the dream, i liked it very much in the end, yummy angst.
So i was wondering, maaay i please req a worried itward trying to force sick!reader to go to bed but they bluntly refuse because "I have WORK to do and people to TAKE CARE of! I don't care, am just.. a little under the weather, yes, but its nothing a warm tea later wont fix. So i need to- no, i am perfecty capeable-" <- said before falling over a coffe table half dressed, almost landing on Mr. Midnights fluffy butt. When they finally give in they're kinda clingy and a bit whiny("..do you still love me?"; *stumbles out of the room to get to itward who decided to get them some tea, scaring him shitless in the process* "can we hold hands? Please")
(The dream and other info has nothing to really do with the request and has no purpose but to tell you abt the silly scenario, you can just disregard it. Anyway i'm going to sleep good noight!!♡♡♡)
Itward x sick!stubborn!Reader!
IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LOKG TO GET TO THIS SOBS
That said I hope youre feeling better man :( sickness sucks!! I hate sickness!! Beats up the sickness!!!
Also I know I already said this when you checked your request status, but you're not overwhelming me or annoying me!! Get down with the silliness!!
Also look at this goofball, how he almost falls
Loser
(Gently holds)
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I think that he would treat most sicknesses on the same level of seriousness; like sure he wouldn't panic if you had a simple fever or cold.. but he's going to be firm on you not overworking yourself
In fact its likely that he will bar you from chores and work for at least an entire day after all your symptoms die down
Very quickly notices that something is wrong with you. I mean itward looks over a bunch of kids and kids get sick all the time, so I think he can see the signs even before you're fully ill
Asks you if anything is wrong and offers to do some of your chores around the ship (and that's assuming he even assigned you any) as well as offer to run the errands you needed to do that day
Gentle but firm when talking to you and trying to keep you in bed
Like gently pushing you back into bed and covering you up in a blanket or two
"Yes yes, I know dear that you've got work to do... but please, I need you to rest... can you do that for me?" And other similar pleas
Hes making you soup when you wobble in and ask if hes mad at you; because his tone sounded a little stressed when he last talked to you
He cant even answer before you face plant onto the floor of the ship...
Immediately rushes to your side; which likely only takes about two steps for him thanks to his long legs.. scoops you up and just
In this gentle quiet voice reassures you that hes not angry. A little stressed out for you, but not angry
Key words, "for you", not "by you"
I would say for comic value he would tie you to bed, but I feel even itward wouldnt go down to those extremes (and this man can get a little silly. I mean he literally locked Fran in a room so he could make her a surprise birthday party. Itward can get a little intense, I think)
No instead I think he would just stick by your side to ensure you're actually resting
One of admin favorite tropes; character b is sick/very tired and in bed, character a who just put them to bed goes to leave only for b to grab their sleeve/hand/arm/whatever to stop them and just. "Plesse stay"
That happens with you two, I think
And most likely, if itward doesn't have anything super time sensitive or important to do, he will stay with you
Besides, hes a skeleton from another reality. What are the chances that a human sickness can spread to him?
Well that's assuming it's a sickness from the third reality and/or one that cant jump species
But shhh
Itward pretty much becomes a mother hen and tries to prevent you from doing anything that may make your symptoms worse.. as well as caring for you via making you food, keeping you hydrated, and even carryout you around if your legs are too weak to support you
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