#but as of NOW. you know. the moment human lives and futures are at stake. as of NOW that is the way it is. Biden has been shown to cave to

[aesthetics-over-ethics]

tfw you ask the 'dont vote' psyop account for any alternative courses of action to just letting Trump win and literally install himself as the eternal dictator of the US (the project 2025 plans say enough there I think). And of course they just block you because they didn't actually think anyone would like. try to actually understand their propaganda instead of just swallowing it outright...

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

hc for adrian having a girlfriend or s/o prior to his mother's death. they're human and maybe her apprentince or something. and the church takes her too, but before they can burn her at the stake, dracula shows up and rescues her because he knows lisa was fond of her. during adrians and draculas fight maybe she interbenes at a critical moments so drac doesnt kill him and alucard gets away but she's now a prisoner of dracula w/n his castle. and maybe she befriends the generals?

A/N: Aw, man. Sometimes I wonder if Lisa did have an apprentice, that maybe Dracula wouldn’t be as anti-human as he ended up being, or if she could start to turn him to see the error of his ways sometime before Alucard and Dracula end up in Adrian’s childhood bedroom. 

Apologies for the delays in updates. But my brain went WILD with this request so it’s a long one, I hope that makes up for the less frequent posting. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these somewhat bittersweet (then depressing then bittersweet again) headcanons! (Also this is unbeta-ed and prob grammatically messy as hell, so read at your own expense lol.) 

Word Count: 6.2k 

TW: Canon Typical Descriptions of Graphic Violence; Brief Mentions of Sexual Violence; Canon Death; Descriptions of Torture (the church is high-key fucked up here)  

Adrian W/ A Human S/O Reader (Who’s Also Lisa’s Apprentice, Prior to Her Death):   

━━━━━ ❂ ━━━━━   

The Beginning:   

Okay, so let’s get one thing straight… FIRST OF ALL, Lisa would adore you!!! Like, you make her baby boy happy and you’re smart??? What else is there to it? And then to top it all off, you’re super sweet and kind and interested in learning about medicine and the world around you!   

Lisa meets you once over dinner and she’s already planning the wedding in her head.   

Adrian is smitten, because of course he is, but in an adorable, somewhat restrained way. He doesn't have a lot (ahem, ANY) experience in this department, so he’s hesitant to take things forward with you, mainly because he doesn’t want to scare you off or make you suspicious about what he is. (It’s hard to make out with someone when you have two big vampire fangs in the front.)   

Adrian is young, like you. So, on top of all the complications, he feels no need to rush things. Sure, he’s heard a few whispers here and there about Dracula having a son, a son who according to rumors and gossiping villagers is to rise as the antithesis of Dracula. It’s all silly superstition, but it does stay fixed in the back of his mind. What would this future legacy mean for his relationship with you? And, should it ever come to pass, would you even be a part of it?   

That’s neither here nor there though, and in the meantime, the two of you simply enjoy the talking phase. You get to learn more about each other's interests, and beliefs, but mostly, you spend time in proximity to one another— you remain busy attending to his mother, learning all you can about healing while he, just a table over, spends his time rereading one of his many favorite tomes.   

I honestly don’t see you meeting Dracula until you and Adrian are like a fully committed couple. I’m pretty sure you would have to have been Lisa’s apprentice for a while and/or lived with the Tepes in their Lupu cottage for months before Lisa finally breaks through Dracula’s protests and makes him officially meet you.   

I don’t think that meeting would happen in Lupu either. No, I imagine it would have to take place at Dracula’s castle, just in case you were to freak out, you’d have no way of escaping and telling any others.   

I can almost see your reaction being similar to Lisa’s upon first entering the castle, especially if Adrian is already at your side. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Dracula is terrifying, but there’s also a giant telescope in the next room calling your name so….   

Much to Adrian’s relief, this newfound information doesn’t make you frightened of him at all, if anything, it simply reignites your fascination with him. You throw rapid-fire questions at him: If he's part vampire, how come you’ve seen him eating human food? Does he need both food and blood to satisfy each of his halves? If he needs blood, he could take some of yours you know…   

Your penchant for learning softens Dracula a little. For a brief time, he wonders if, perhaps, it was as Lisa said, that the humans could change, that humanity was changing for the better.   

He sits across from you at their grand dinner table, watching you intensely as you and Adrian talk about the recent literature you’ve read. You’d no doubt feel Dracula’s all-powerful gaze on you, making you turn to him and… Wait, did you just smile?!   

You’ve got guts, Dracula will give you that.   

Knowing the family secret, you can’t exactly break up with Adrian, nor do you have any desire to. I wonder if Dracula would have rings made for the two of you, maybe commission a new family portrait or two.   

You stay with Lisa in Lupu during Dracula's travels. Adrian is around, although he's always off between the castle and their cottage, so you never feel entirely alone or vulnerable. Your life is perfect! It’s better than you could have ever imagined!   

That is, until…   

━━━━━ ● ━━━━━   

The During:   

When the Church comes to take Lisa, you beg them to see reason. You cry and scream, hell, you even try to fight your way out at one point, only for both you and Dr. Tepes to be overpowered by the Church’s henchman.   

The two of you are taken, violently, to Targoviste, where you’re thrown into dark, damp cells with little to no light. Freezing, you huddle together for warmth, each trying your best to reassure the other, that all will turn out well. Adrian was still around, right? He’ll have to come home to find you missing, he’ll come and rescue you. And Dracula was due to return soon, correct? Surely, they’ll come. Surely, they’ll stop this madness.   

It’s a few days later, after hours of interrogation and brutal torture that you realize with a heavy heart, that no one is coming to rescue you. And what’s worse, that these so-called men of the cloth cannot and will not listen to reason. You’re starved and beaten, your hair is sliced off so close to your skin, that they take bits of your scalp with it in some places. And despite initially being imprisoned with Lisa, you find yourself being separated from her for longer periods.   

The men try everything to get you to turn on her. They tell you if you recant her wicked ways now, say she used her evil magic to trick you, your sentencing will be easier. You could still live— they dangle betrayal in front of you as a last lifeline. You don’t take it of course. You love Mrs. Tepes, and you know she’s no witch. You muster what little might you have left, spitting at the men as you tell them to go to hell. You swear she’s innocent, that she knows nothing. Hell, at one point, you find yourself confessing to having manipulated her! You don’t think they buy it though, if the poor doctor’s screams from down the hall are anything to go by.   

The night they light the pyre, the night of Lisa’s murder, you’re sick on more than one occasion. You scream your throat raw, begging them to burn you first! That she was innocent! That you corrupted her! That it was all your doing! But to no avail.   

In a scene that could only rival the Crucifixion of Christ himself, you look up through tear-soaked eyes to see Lisa, enshrouded in flames, begging Dracula to show mercy on her killers, to forgive them, that they know not what they do. “I know it's not your fault,” she cries out, “But, if you can hear me, they don't know what they're doing! Be better than them. Please!”   

You sob and wail, watching as your would-be mother-in-law is burned alive. You scream out for someone, anyone! To please help you, save you! With Lisa’s last words echoing in your mind, you can’t help but fear Adrian’s and his Father’s reactions, should they find you both killed.

Oh, gods…   

You don’t know what makes you feel sicker… The barbaric display you’re witnessing now or the hypothetical one that threatens to wipe out all living people in Wallachia once Dracula learns of what’s happened. You need not wait long for an answer.   

In a fury of fire and grandeur, Dracula’s head appears, molded in flame, demanding to know what has happened to his wife. You cry out to him, apologizing profusely, saying you begged them to burn you first! You scream out how they refused to see reason, they killed her for helping! Injudiciously, in your indignant anger, you plead with Dracula to release his fury on the priests who did this, to send them to hell to be tortured for eternity for this unforgivable transgression!   

With the silent fury of a gathering storm, Dracula’s fiery visage speaks calmly as his anger grows concertedly less. "I give you one year Wallachians,” he finally decides. “You have one year to make your peace and remove any marks you have made upon the land. One year, and I'll wipe all human life from the land of Wallachia. You took that which I love, so I will take from you everything you have and everything you have ever been. One year."   

No sooner than he spits out the words, a coil of fire bursts from his image, winding itself around your body. The guards surrounding you gasp and flee, avoiding the coil’s tail as it whips back and forth, hoisting you into the air.   

The fiery coil burns your skin, and the smell of even more burnt flesh makes you gag. If you had any bile left over at all, you’re certain it’d come up yet again. The pain is like a thousand stinging nettles and boiling water constricting your arms and midriff all at once. Your vision grows blurry as you feel your body move through the air, your nostrils taking in one last wretched breath of sulfur and smoke.   

━━━━━ ◉ ━━━━━   

The After — Part One:   

When you awake you find yourself laid, practically bare, a heap on the floor within Dracula’s castle— the evil Lord himself only feet away, raging over his magic well— as shards of his magic mirror whip around him at incredible speeds. Your head is pounding, it feels as if it might explode, and your arms… Fuck.   

Where the supernatural coil grabbed you, your skin was red and raw, small pockets of blisters already beginning to form. Your arms tremble uncontrollably as you try to move them, the pain that’s consuming your nerves is far too intense to hold them steady as you sit up into an upright position.   

It doesn’t feel real; nothing feels real. It feels like a nightmare. It had all been perfect, everything was perfect— you all were happy! How did it turn into such horror so fast?   

Shakily, you rise to your feet and clutch the remains of your clothes to your chest in an attempt to preserve your modesty, although it’s more of a subconscious act on your part. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion, yourself included. It’s like the air is heavier here somehow, its weight filling your lungs and weighing you down.   

A loud noise shocks you back to the present, nearly making you stumble over in fright. At least you would have, had Adrian not used his superspeed to catch you before you fell. One of his gloved hands grasps your left arm directly over the burn, causing you to let out a hiss. His rectangular eyes look wider than you’ve ever seen as he releases his grip, looking over your battered form.   

“(Y/N) ...” Adrian says, his voice serious and quiet, barely a whisper.   

You shake your head furiously, unable to trust your ability to speak without breaking. Upon Adrian’s gentle insistence, you feel your mouth opening, and the words slipping out, scraping against the back of your reddened throat as they exit your frail body.   

“They killed her, Adrian…” you whisper, your voice quivering. “I, we tried to stop them, they just wouldn’t listen!” Somehow, your eyes begin to water again, despite your earlier certainty that your body had no water nor tears left in it at all.   

“Once she realized they wouldn't listen to reason, she lied and told them I was innocent. She told them she had manipulated me, that I was just a child, that I didn’t know what I was doing, that she never got the chance to teach me!” A feeling of guilt consumes you as you speak the words aloud, and soon enough, your body is once again plagued by uncontrollable sobs.   

Adrian listens intently to your words, his brows furrowed. You watch through teary eyes as a range of emotions flash across his face: anger, hurt, pain, sorrow, and finally… acceptance. Your beloved hardens his gaze, choking down whatever grief he may be feeling. At the present, Adrian knows, there are more pressing matters at hand.   

You follow Adrian’s steely gaze back, seeing his Father where he is bent over his summoning circle, cursing in a language that is foreign to you before he switches back to Romanian.   

“One year! It will take me one year to summon an army from the guts of Hell itself!” Dracula proclaims, promising to enact vengeance for the death of his love.   

“No.” Adrian counters, slipping out of your grasp.   

“Adrian,” you whisper, warningly. “Don’t—”   

“What do you mean, ‘no’? That woman was the only reason on Earth for me to tolerate human life!”  Dracula retaliates, enraged his son could even conceive of such lenience.   

“Then find the one who did the deed,” Alucard proposes. “If you set loose an army of the night on Wallachia, you cannot undo it, and many thousands of people just as innocent as her will suffer and die.”   

“There are no innocents! Not anymore! Any one of them could have stood up and said, ‘No, we won't behave like animals anymore.’"   

“(Y/N) did.” Adrian points out. “She tried to take all the blame, in an attempt to save Mother’s life.”   

Dracula looks over at you with blood-red eyes, contempt clear on his face. “And yet,” he snarls, “Here she stands, and my Wife, your Mother does not!” He hisses the last word, livid that out of the two of you, you were the one who survived.   

With large, fearful eyes, you watch as Adrian closes the gap between him and his Father.   

“I won't let you do it. I grieve with you, but I won't let you commit genocide.”   

“Adrian,” you warn again.   

The next bit happened all so quickly.   

Faster than you could blink, you watch, helpless, frozen in horror as Adrian charges his father, his longsword drawn. Despite their vampiric speed being unrecognizable to the untrained human eye, you swear you watch the scene unfold in slow motion. Adrian charges first, but Dracula, roaring in a fit of rage, counters faster— his Father’s elongated claws slash diagonally across Adrian’s chest, before his fist pauses, still embedded deep within your lover’s gut.   

You don’t have time to think before you act. To you, Adrian has the abilities of a god, but to his Father… It was clear there’d be no match. You have no clue how you got your hands on it, no idea as to how you even managed a successful hit, but the next thing you know, a triangular shard of magic mirror is impaled in Great Lord Dracula’s back, put there by your very hand.   

Too terrified to even breathe, the only sound you can hear beyond your racing pulse is a wet, gory squelch as Dracula retracts his claws from Adrian’s body. You hear the spray of blood before you see it, a rush of bright red blood gushes onto the marble floor between Dracula and his son.   

Standing at his impressive full height, Dracula turns ever so slowly, ever so menacingly, to face you. His pupils are that of a blood moon, his sclera so bloodshot they practically look as black as night. In that second, you know you’ve fucked up.   

You cower as Dracula raises one hand to you, instinctively shielding your neck from his nasty bloodied talons. With surprisingly repressed strength, Dracula backhands you, the force sending you flying backward, smashing into the base of one of the curved bookshelves lining the walls of his summoning room.   

With his focus still on you, Dracula stalks toward you. Knowing it’s now or never, you scream at Adrian to flee. “Run!” The words rip out of your raw throat, sounding like an eleventh commandment.   

You see Adrian, previously stunned by his Father’s disregard for his life, holding together the gaping wound across his chest. He has no time to even spare you, his beloved, a last look before evaporating into clouds, his cloud of bloodied mist bolting for the door, fleeing as fast as his injured state would allow him.   

Dracula only turns to watch as his son, his very possibly fatally wounded son, flees the confines of his castle. For a moment it is silent— only the sound of both yours and Dracula’s heaving breaths echo across the chamber.   

Clenching his clawed fingers into a fist, Dracula says nothing as he too makes his way to the castle doors, leaving your bruised and broken body alone in the dark.   

━━━━━ ❍ ━━━━━   

The After — Part Two:   

Somehow, Christ only knows, you find your way to one of Lisa’s old labs and do a half-assed job of patching yourself up. You find your burns and dislocated shoulder to be the most painful of injuries.    

Thankfully, Lisa had taught you enough about setting a patient’s shoulder that you managed to smash it into an adjacent wall, popping your joint back in yourself. The burns you wrap in honey and milk-soaked linen gauze, wincing every time the bandages brush against your skin. It’s awful work, slow work too, but you must have managed it alright because you find yourself patched up and passed out in one of the castle’s kitchens a few hours (or days? had it been days?) after that.   

You eat raw vegetables and berries— nothing that requires cooking. Lord knows you couldn't prepare anything successfully now even if you were to try. Eating your foraged meal in silence you debate your next steps. Do you go back home? Would your family even welcome you home after your long and unexplained absence? And if they, along with all the humans in Wallachia were ultimately to be driven from the land, did it matter anyway?   

‘Oh god,’ you think. You have to warn them, have to make them flee before a year is up. But where would you go? Where could you go? Greater Styria was a possibility, although it was not by any means an easy journey, and the climate there was much colder than your folks were used to here. You shakily rise to your feet and set out to find a map within one of the Castle’s many libraries.   

After a good night’s rest, you find your mindset with a newfound determination: you will go home. You were going to get your family on the move and then… Then, you’d come back here.   

You knew, in all likelihood, that returning to Dracula’s castle after the fact entailed certain death. But you also knew, things would get worse if he were to be left alone.   

Dracula may not have ever loved you for a daughter-in-law. Hell, he may not have ever loved anyone aside from Mrs. Tepes, but you promised her while huddling together that first night in those dingy cells that no matter what happened, should either of you get out alive, you would not leave Adrian and Vlad. “They need humans, (Y/N),” Lisa coughed into your ear. “And most importantly, humanity needs them.”   

Dracula would resent your company, he would want to be rid of you. But you could not be rid of him, not after what Lisa had asked of you.   

‘Besides,’ you thought, ‘Nobody should have to grieve alone.’   

The journey back home to your parents is majorly uneventful. Sure, it was touch and go for a while, your body was exhausted after the ordeal you endured, and your wounds had gotten infected once or twice. Thankfully, you had the mind to pack with you any potential treatments you might need.   

It felt good to be home, to be amongst family again. You couldn’t stop crying and hugging everyone when you first arrived. You kept the details to a minimum but made it clear they needed to be the hell out of Wallachia before a year. You told them you had found an apprenticeship, that the woman was kind to you, but while in Targoviste, you saw the burning of a witch, and soon after the face of Satan himself appeared in flames, threatening the crowd. It caused a panic, you see, and you had gotten trampled in the process.   

You didn’t bother to explain that the woman you were learning under was this so-called witch and that this Satanic figure was her husband. Nor did you tell them of your half-inhuman partner. You knew had you told the family the whole truth, they might have cast you out as a devil worshiper and a liar and choose not to heed your words.   

Your warnings spread through your extended family like how ivy creeps up a stone wall. A fair part of your relatives in the country believed you enough to agree to uproot their lives and settle outside of Wallachia: some settled on Syria, others had decided on Greece, Egypt, or Rome. The more skeptical ones who hemmed and hawed over the validity of your claims agreed to move into the countryside, a decent distance from any major Wallachian city or village.   

When you were certain they’d heed your words, you told them you could not stay with them, your Mother wept for three straight days and your Father could do little to console her. As much as it broke your family’s heart, you knew that your need to return to Castlevania was larger than yours. You weren't just doing it for your family, you were doing it for every family across the land. You couldn't be selfish. Mrs. Tepes was the most selfless woman you had met, and she taught you well. If you meant what you said to her when you first met, that you wanted to help people, you would need to buck up and accept the consequences of that.   

Your journey back to the castle was much more melancholy than your journey home. You could almost feel the whispers of the tortured souls Dracula had slain before blowing cold air into your ears, begging you to turn back. Nevertheless, you continued. You entered Castlevania to find you were alone, however, that would not be the case for long.   

Months later you had fallen into somewhat of a predictable routine within the castle and its new occupants. Dracula had recruited two humans to serve as his war planners— men by the names of Hector and Isaac, respectively. You appreciate the levity Hector, and his undead pets bring, and you admire the intelligence and loyalty Isaac has. You just wish they weren’t going along with Dracula’s plan.   

You tread carefully as you find the time to express to each of his Generals that you wish they wouldn’t go through with this plan. You explain humans are not the kind of species to give in to subjugation, they will revolt eventually. You suggest the vampires come up with some sort of tit-for-tat system with the humans instead like, for example, promised blood servants would equal vampiric protection for that territory.  

It’s safe to say no one is impressed with your centrist ideals, so eventually stop taking part in the conversation. You silently hang around Hector, and just listen with a sorrowful expression, satisfied with knowing that if you can’t change the Generals' minds, you can, at the very least, make them somewhat uncomfortable.  

When Carmilla arrives, you’re immediately put off by her little display of insolence. Unlike yours, her dissent doesn’t seem to come from a place of concern. You make a mental note to keep an eye on her.  

It’s during the General's next argument that you receive a ray of hope: “We are quite certain that Alucard sleeps at Gresit.”  

You feel your body grow lighter.  

“So, that means,” you speak aloud to yourself more so to anyone else, “Adrian is alive?”  

You’re met with a handful of annoyed glares from the other vampires as Isaac continues: “And that there was recently a Belmont there.”  

Upon hearing Carmilla berate the others for not sending night creatures to the ancestral Belmont home, your smile falls and your improved mood falters. These Belmonts were famous monster hunters, famous enough to frighten your current vampire company. That means, if there was a Belmont in Gresit, at the same time as Adrian, as Alucard, whatever the hell he’s going by these days, it could prove disastrous for your love. For all you know, he’s still recovering from the wounds dealt to him by his Father. And if this Belmont, this monster hunter strikes first and asks questions later, he may accidentally kill the only living vampire in existence who stands against the very nature of this war.  

‘How ironic,’ you think solemnly. Just as fast as the universe gives you hope, it rips it away once more.  

You excuse yourself, and make your way towards Hector’s forge, aiming to distract your distraught mind with some cute reanimated pets.  

Shortly thereafter, Hector joins you. He asks if you truly did not know Dracula’s son was still alive. You shake your head ‘no’, telling him how you had prayed every past night to any God who would listen, that they would send their holy armies and angels to guard him, but no, you had mostly just feared he was dead.  

You spend the rest of the night talking to Hector about Alucard, Adrian as you knew him. How smart he was, how much the two of you used to laugh, and how much he looked just like his Mother.  

“Perhaps that’s why,” Hector supposes, “Dracula could no longer bear to see him.”  

You say perchance he’s right, conveniently leaving out the part where the Father and Son duo almost fought to the death right in front of you.  

The conversation with Hector reignites something within you. You feel as if you had been praying all this time for an answer, and this was it. Alucard was alive, and so was Belmont. You understand now what needs to be done.  

Your lover must once again fight his Father, and this time, he must win.  

Your silent observations allow you to learn of Carmilla’s scheme fairly early on, as well as Godbrand’s demise at the hands of Isaac, yet all that time, you say nothing. You keep your mouth shut and your eyes down. If Carmilla divides Dracula’s army and court, she will inevitably make it easier for Alucard and Belmont to destroy him.  

The Generals, and even Dracula himself, believe you are mourning the loss of your love for the second time, as his demise will be inevitable the moment he meets his Father and his armies— or at least, that’s what they assume.  

When Carmilla has Hector send special night creatures to the remains of the Belmont home, you attach a letter around one of the creature's necks, hoping your love will notice it, and if he doesn’t, you pray he instinctively outwits the traps that await for him within his Father’s castle.  

━━━━━ ❂ ━━━━━   

Beginning Again:   

The night Dracula chooses to move the Castle to Braila, you manage to speak with him one last time.  

You bring him some tea, even though you know he won’t drink it, and you tell him, for what must be the hundredth time, how sorry you are about all that’s happened. You apologize for not being able to do more to save his wife. You tell him that if you could do it all over again if you were given a choice between who they should burn first, you’d demand it be you.  

Dracula turns away from the fire to look at you upon hearing those words.  

“She was fond of you, you know.” He says, sounding far away as if lost in a distant memory. “She was overjoyed at the thought of gaining a daughter”  

You nodded along a hurt smile on your face. “It was my honor.” Gathering your courage you continued: “Even though it didn’t work out, I want you to know I loved your wife very much… And,” you kept going. “I love your son very much.”  

Dracula said nothing. He simply turned his attention back to the flames within his study’s fireplace.  

“It’s not too late, you know,” you prod gently. “If Adrian is alive, he could still come back, we could still be a family-”  

“No!” Dracula’s low growl sent shivers down your spine.  

For a moment you feared he would rise to attack you or perhaps berate you further, but no such action came. Instead, the former Great Lord Dracula’s shoulders deflated back to their hunched position, as he fell silent once again.  

Quietly, you made your way back to your room, shutting and locking the door behind you. If you had any tears left at all, you would have shed them throughout the night. Instead, you merely lay awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering if there would even be a tomorrow to awaken to.  

Pleased to still be alive at this point, but feeling increasingly suffocated by this overwhelming sense of doom, you spend the next day cooped up in your room, on your knees, the rosary in your hand, whispering prayers of safety for your loved one. You couldn't explain it, but at the time, you felt compelled to recite prayer after prayer and reveal all the fears and worries in your heart.  

You speak out to Death, to God, to all the angels and saints, and beg them to grant Adrian safe passage as he completes his task of saving humanity— it’s something his Mother would have wanted after all.  

Amidst your fervent prayers, you feel the Castle shake and creak, but you soon realize something is off: it keeps jerking from side to side, several times, way too many to be a case of a single relocation. Your heart races, and in the pit of your gut, you know this is it:

The Alucard has come.  

Your love has come back for you.  

You scramble behind the door, poised with a wooden stake in hand (just in case, you never know), and wait.  

And wait.  

And wait.  

Following a crescendo of metallic crashes and screaming, you hear more crashes, this time lesser in intensity and they’re accompanied by the distinct scent of fire, sulfur, and burnt flesh.  

It terrifies you, bringing such horrible memories of your almost demise to the surface. You look down at the burn scars on your arms and feel physically ill. Every time you shut your eyes to blink, you see the corpse of Ms. Tepes, burning alive right before you as if no time has passed at all, as if you’re trapped in the permanent hell of that memory.  

The overwhelming ornery atmosphere in the castle only grows, seeming to suddenly flood your nostrils and every pore.  

You watch in shock and horror as thousands of soot-colored transparent ghouls burst through your doorway, the shock of the impact sending you reeling into the bed. Tortured faces of all shapes and sizes circle you menacingly, before bursting through your room’s glass window, vanishing just as fast as they came.  

Within an instant you feel… lighter, freer almost. It’s as if something major has changed, but you don’t know what.  

Timidly, stake still in hand, you make your way down the castle corridors. Unfortunately, you have to take several detours, your regular route being cut off by giant holes in the architecture. A good portion of the castle looks like it had been hit with cannon fire.  

You sincerely hope that whatever caused that damage is no longer rampaging around these halls, lest you stumble upon them yourself.  

By the time you reach the throne room, the sun is just peeking out from behind the horizon. The sight of it flowing freely into the castle interior lifts your spirits with hope. Sunlight means no vampires. No vampires means…

You follow the originating path of the sun’s beams, finding three figures illustrated against the sunrise. One of them is a burly-looking man, with a large frame and broad shoulders. Another is a woman, at least, you’re fairly certain they’re a woman, with curly hair, dressed in flowing blue robes. And the third is….  

You don’t even need a second glance to know who the third person is.  

Crying out his name, you run towards your long-lost lover, almost losing your footing over all the debris covering the floor. But just as he would before, and just as he always would, your lover, Adrian, catches you before you can fall.  

The two of you cling to each other for dear life, just silently sobbing, feeling grateful to be in one another’s embrace. You’re not sure how long the two of you stay intertwined like that, you just know however long it was, it could never be enough to make up for how much you missed him this past year.  

“Adrian,” you clutch his coat, “I thought you were dead! I thought he had killed you! I was so worried.”  

“He almost did,” the strange broad-shoulder man reveals in a teasing fashion. You watch as the robed woman elbows him in the gut.  

“Alucard,” Adrian says, regaining your attention as he grasps your hands in his. “I am Alucard now.”  

You look into his golden eyes, sensing while this is still very much the body of the man you loved, this Alucard before you, is not the same person that your Adrian was. After all this time, it feels like quite the loss, and yet, you cannot fault him for it. You are unaware of the journey he’s been on, of the sacrifices he’s had to make. God knows your character must have changed as well, living amongst a vampire court and necromancers for just under a year.  

You back away from your love, temporarily ignoring his concerned expression.  

“Hello Alucard,” you say, extending a hand, “My name is (Y/N). And I’d very much like to share a drink with you if you’d let me.”  

“Don’ know about Alucard,” the broad man mumbles, gripping his side in pain, “But I’d very much like a drink. Or five.”  

“Trevor!” The robed woman scolds.  

“What?”  

You smile at the three of them, feeling beyond blessed that your love has found such wonderful new friends.  

When you had first fallen for Adrian, you assumed your family would consist solely of him, his mother, and his father, that you’d spend the rest of your days learning medicine in a little cottage nestled in Lupu. That simple life was to be yours. But now, it’s all changed. And Alucard is all that remains of that family you once loved.  

You gaze out into the forest beyond the castle grounds, closing your eyes and sighing as you feel the morning’s sun on your face.  

Yes, it was true Mrs. and Mr. Tepes were gone.

It was true that the old Adrian could never come back.

But if you had to choose a new life, a life here amongst a gorgeous castle, with your former lover and his two new friends, well… you doubted you could pick a better one than that.  

A/N 2.0: WHY DID THIS TAKE ME SO LOOOONG? Who knows? Anyway, it’s here now. And hey— did you pay close attention to the symbols in the dividers? Go ahead and look back if you didn’t, just a silly little fun symbolism storytelling. Oh, also, I will finally be updating The Queue List to reflect all the asks I’ve since answered and posted to not confuse people checking on the status of their ask/new readers.

If you liked reading this, please REBLOG! Likes are great but reblogs spread my work much further. 

If you really, really liked reading this, Consider Buying Me a Coffee <3. 

[astarionancuntnin]

a fleeting thought about you and Astarion's life in the future, you as a human

it's always something that had worried him.

he had already lived two centuries and would live to see thousands more; you were but a shooting star in the infinite of his existence.

he had never expected you to stick around knowing your story was meant to end in tears either way; whether he'd die at a stake or you'd die of old age.

yet, when your adventure had ended, and he had to run to the shadows, you followed.

you found a home in the underdark.

you promised to find a cure for him to walk in the sun.

you vowed to be with him until the end of your life.

and since then, no day has been wasted.

you kept yourself busy, always having something to do for the day, always planning ahead, always an idea in mind.

your days together were numbered, you didn't want to lose a single one to a boring day spent indoors when the world was yours to explore.

as much as he admired your energy and planning abilities, he also noticed how it was anxiety-rooted.

how you didn't allow yourself to stop once a plan was in motion.

how you refused to talk about plans for the far future, when you would be old.

how you spent most nights awake, restless in your bed, only to get up and taking a walk.

he had never seen you motionless.

so you could imagine his surprise when one morning, he found you at the entrance of the underdark, still in your sleeping clothes, watching the sun rise.

yet another day that brought you closer to the end of your story.

Astarion let himself sit next to you, the sun's ray not yet affecting him enough to really burn, only to find you sleeping against the rock you laid on.

unconsciously, you let your head fall against his shoulder when you felt him next to you.

he couldn't help the soft smile forming across his lips.

you wouldn't live forever, it's true.

and you wouldn't have kids to remember you by, to carry on your legacy, either.

but you had him, right now, and until this world would take you from him, he would keep you by his side.

cherishing those moments together to have something to hold onto once you're gone.

more headcanons

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer Book Recommendations

Every once in a while I like sharing some queer book recommendations on here as I read a lot and I get requests to share some of the books I love, so here we go! 

Tell Me I'm Worthless: Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends Ila and Hannah. Since then, things have not been going well. Alice is living a haunted existence, selling videos of herself cleaning for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep. She hasn’t spoken to Ila since they went into the House. She hasn’t seen Hannah either.

Our Wives Under The Sea: Miri thinks she has got her wife back, when Leah finally returns after a deep sea mission that ended in catastrophe. It soon becomes clear, though, that Leah may have come back wrong. Whatever happened in that vessel, whatever it was they were supposed to be studying before they were stranded on the ocean floor, Leah has carried part of it with her, onto dry land and into their home. 

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty: Feyi Adekola wants to learn how to be alive again.It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now—an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career.

Silver Under Nightfall: Remy Pendergast is many things: the only son of the Duke of Valenbonne (though his father might wish otherwise), an elite bounty hunter of rogue vampires, and an outcast among his fellow Reapers. His mother was the subject of gossip even before she eloped with a vampire, giving rise to the rumors that Remy is half-vampire himself. Though the kingdom of Aluria barely tolerates him, Remy’s father has been shaping him into a weapon to fight for the kingdom at any cost.

Disintegrate/Dissociate: In her powerful debut collection of poetry, Arielle Twist unravels the complexities of human relationships after death and metamorphosis. In these spare yet powerful poems, she explores, with both rage and tenderness, the parameters of grief, trauma, displacement, and identity. Weaving together a past made murky by uncertainty and a present which exists in multitudes, Arielle Twist poetically navigates through what it means to be an Indigenous trans woman, discovering the possibilities of a hopeful future and a transcendent, beautiful path to regaining softness. 

The Perks of Loving a Wallflower: As a master of disguise, Thomasina Wynchester can be a polite young lady—or a bawdy old man. She’ll do whatever it takes to solve the cases her family takes on. But when Tommy’s beautiful new client turns out to be the highborn lady she’s secretly smitten with, more than her mission is at stake . . . 

It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror: Horror movies hold a complicated space in the hearts of the queer community: historically misogynist, and often homo- and transphobic, the genre has also been inadvertently feminist and open to subversive readings. Common tropes—such as the circumspect and resilient “final girl,” body possession, costumed villains, secret identities, and things that lurk in the closet—spark moments of eerie familiarity and affective connection. Still, viewers often remain tasked with reading themselves into beloved films, seeking out characters and set pieces that speak to, mirror, and parallel the unique ways queerness encounters the world. 

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture: Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong. The notion that everyone wants sex–and that we all have to have it–is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.

[skk-fan-page]

I promise I took my meds, hear me out: this

Can give us insight into this

So: before we get into what it means, I'm going to tell you why these things are related. 15 is probably the best text we have when it comes to dissecting their relationship, and in 15, dazai says 2 things that relate to both raging romantic tension and also dogs.

This, as well as an arguably more loaded section:

This. Now bear with me, I really did take my meds, this second excerpt is almost a one to one copy of the dog treats panel. For those of you who have read 15, you'll know that this scene is the set up for chuuya being forced into the mafia. They duel, the "treats" (the sheep) appear, and then they disappear, and only when dazai walks away do both the dog and chuuya realize theyve been ensnared in a weirdly elaborate trap for someone who's supposed to not want anything to do with them.

Not only that, but it establishes that not only does he call chuuya his dog, but "his dog" is part of his future plans, and part of the reason he even has future plans.

Part of the reason that dazai wants to live at that point is to spend time with chuuya.

Now: with that we get back into the dog treat "duel".

First, I'll let you read it and draw your own links, as long as you promise to leave them in the notes

As a bsd reader, you'll probably know that dazai's plans often revolve around knowing what the other party will do. This is easily reflected in the dog encounter, because dogs don't know anything, and thus their behavior cannot be influenced to an unpredictable point. If you offer a dog a treat, you can count on that dog eating the treat. The problem is that dazai can't connect that motive to the dog's actions, because he specializes in dealings with egotistical people who rank highly in organizations who have massive flaws they overlook. Take him outside of his comfort zone, and he struggles to tilt things in his favor.

This analysis overlooks one teensy massive character trait that shapes the character: Dazai is the type to step on a rake, hit himself in the balls, and stick the landing so well that everyone thinks it was on purpose.

You can only tell what's "the plan" versus what is just improv by how hard he tries to sell that he's in control.

With this new lens, seeing how hard dazai tries to assert "the difference in [his status]" with the dog almost entirely colors the interaction as some sopping wet loser loses at his own game that he started against a small animal.

And now: how does this effect the skk reunion and how does it reflect on their previous relationship?

Well, I'm going to pull out some "oh holy shit... I mean, I meant to do that!" Moments

This man is going back and forth like it's his job. He doesn't know what to expect because chuuya is far beyond his comfort zone. Hes everything that should make him predictable, and yet he never is. Every time he's taken aback by his target not reacting the way he "should" he pulls another trick out from his sleeve. Even literally, in the lock picking case. Whenever he needs to try to assert that he totally planned this, he goes for another trick.

As with the dog, when dazai walks away, the only thing chuuya was left with was a distinct sense of "this guy needs friends." They're both low stakes interactions that are born from dazai not expecting something and not knowing how to regain control of the situation.

This implies that dazai just doesn't know how to deal with a straightforward person and thus can never predict what chuuya will do, because he runs on an unswayable internal logic that makes him as difficult to manipulate as a human can possibly be.

As a partnership, they're constantly confusing the fuck out of each other, because dazai is weird and eats dog treats, and because chuuya cannot be understood with the logic dazai excels in.

They know each other but they can never hope to understand each other.

[drdemonprince]

Do you have any tips for autistics who want to get more comfortable with uncertainty/unpredictability?

You know, for me, two things have helped the most over time.

The first thing has been trying a variety of new things, and having a variety of life experiences (good, bad, weird, and neutral) and really soaking up the humility that comes with all that. The longer I live and the more passions I pursue, the more life surprises me and exposes me to. The more that I learn the vaster and less comprehensible the world seems to be. The idea that a single, feeble biased human like myself could ever have the power to predict what is going to happen (or to control it) now registers as absurd to me.

I used to try and game out every possible contingency for my reality and understand how everything worked, and a lot of that planning did benefit me, but I also wasted years trying to manage my options and never let the future options narrow before me, which of course they always will and must do. Often the outcome that I thought that I wanted wasn't even enjoyable to me, and then life opened up and expanded outward in some completely unanticipated direction that I'd written off. We never know shit, even when we think we do, so trying to know the optimal amount of shit in order to be able to make a decision or feel safe starts to seem just laughable. and when we laugh, even if its a mirthful or bitter laugh at life's uncontrollability, we can relax a bit.

The second thing that helped me was having confidence in my own ability to navigate unpredictable situations. Some of this does come with experience, see above. But it's also a question of self-efficacy. I sometimes have to remind myself that I nearly always figure things out and find a path forward, even if I'm feeling stuck, even if I need help, and especially when a situation is not what I expected it to be. I don't need to know everything about a situation or be able to predict the future -- I've never been able to predict the future, and I've never known everything, and yet here I am. Bad things in life have happened, I've made plenty of boneheaded choices, there have been tragedies, and losses, and traumas, and also unexpected bolts of good luck and unexpected discoveries. And also just a lot of really mundane boring low stakes everyday grinds. And i've been fine, you know. I've figured it out.

I think a lot of the fear of uncertainty is motivated by a desire to always get things right. but there is no right answer to the question of how to live one's life. The other reason we fear uncertainty is because we dread loss. And many of the uncertain negative outcomes that we fear (such as a relative dying, or friendship ending or a romantic relationship losing its spark) are events we have no control over and will eventually happen no matter what and so we've got to make peace with them. I can't say I'm always good at that. I used to have intrusive flashes of people I cared about dying any time I was enjoying a pleasant moment with them. i was so terrified of the uncertainty of loss that i couldnt enjoy what was happening in the present. That doesn't happen now. Largely because I've learned through experience that just about everything ends, whether you bother to worry about it ending or not, but I've been able to continue forging a worthwhile and dynamic life afterward every time a terrible loss has happened.

so yeah. if you fear uncertainty, i recommend having a really rich, wide array of experiences and doing what you can to build up trust in your own ability to handle the unexpected and difficult.

[ecargmura]

Wonderful Precure Episode 1 Review - Very Wonderful

My review of the new Precure show is finally here! Thanks to Hirogaru Sky, I find the franchise quite entertaining! I can’t wait to see what this show has to offer as it has a different feel to its predecessor!

While Hirogaru Sky was a more high-stakes, fantasy/storybook type of story with princesses, knights and nefarious villains, Wonderful Precure feels more light-hearted as it seems to have low stakes. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad. Pokemon had its fair share of light-hearted anime series and so does Yugioh; I’m a fan of both franchises, so I know what it’s like to enjoy the mature, darker aspects and the light-hearted ones because both are precious. Remember that the target audience for Precure are little kids.

I love the animal themed premise of Wonderful Precure. It seems that everyone in Animal Town have animal companions and live harmoniously with them. Even the major characters have pets. Iroha Inukai owns a Papillon dog named Komugi. Mayu Nekoyashiki owns a cat named Yuki. Satoru Toyama owns a rabbit named Daifuku. There’s also the classic “other world” that Precure often has that is filled with animals too. The GaruGaru, the episodic villains, all seem to be possessed animals in a way.

The fight scene with the GaruGaru doesn’t seem to be as intense as its predecessor as Komugi doesn’t really do kicks and punches and prefers to use barriers and hugs to purify the enemy. Will this change? I mean, I don’t mind the hugs, but not all animals would be susceptible to them in the future if one were to make assumptions. 

The transformation scene is actually super short. I do like that Komugi moves around a lot in a short sequence. Not all transformation have to be minute long segments that is basically rinse or repeat. This sort of reminds me of the evolution scenes in Digimon Ghost Game where it’s not an entire segment, but a short, brief one that has good animation nonetheless. Given how choppy and messy some transformation scenes in Hirogaru Sky were (I’m looking at you, Majesty and Prism), sometimes, it’s best to keep it short and simple.

The series introduces its first animal Precure as Komugi is granted the power to become a Precure in order to protect her owner Iroha (note that while Tsubasa from Hirogaru Sky is technically a bird who can transform into a boy, he’s more of a bird fairy as he’s a fictional bird race and not an actual animal). As a dog, Komugi has typical dog traits from being a menace to their owners when its time to wake them up to having separation anxiety when apart. In Komugi’s case, her separation anxiety is very bad. She gets upset when Iroha leaves for school and even wishes to become human just so she can spend more time with her. As a Precure and a human, Komugi’s dog traits are still present as she says to the GaruGaru that being bad won’t get you treats and thinking running off means racing. She also speaks childishly given that dogs have the intelligence of a two-year-old, so it makes sense that her words and dialogue are a bit choppy. Since this episode mainly showed Komugi as a dog with crippling separation anxiety, I do wonder if her character arc is about overcoming it. Now, it pegs the question of whether Komugi will lose her Precure/human form towards the end of the series because the Mirror Stone/Wonderful Pact is the reason she is able to transform and become human. Losing it means she reverts back to her dog form, most likely. Given how light-hearted this show seems to be, I can’t help wonder how the depressing moments will come in when the time comes? Props to Toei for using a rather obscure dog breed as the main dog. I don’t think I’ve seen media where a Papillon dog is used as a mascot or as a character in a story. I’m not too familiar with Maria Naganawa as a voice actress, but her voice is super cute. It fits Komugi’s childish and cute nature perfectly; it makes her sound like a kid, which makes sense given dogs behave like children at times.

Iroha is actually a lot different from what I expected of her. I didn’t expect that she’d be so outgoing and polite at the same time. I like that! She greets all the animals she sees but is still able to be a conversation starter as she was the one who went up to talk to Satoru without second thoughts. I do like that she has a strong sense of justice as she wanted to protect the boy and his St. Bernard dog by diverting the GaruGaru’s attention towards her; she also plays volleyball. She also seems to be a bit astute as she quickly realized that the girl standing in front of her is Komugi and that the whole situation became too wonderful for her, as she did wish to be able to talk to animals when she was younger. Oh boy, Iroha is gonna have A LOT of explaining to do with her parents regarding this newly bizarre scenario. Iroha is voiced by Atsumi Tanezaki. I’m quite familiar with the name as she voiced a lot of mainstream anime characters like Anya Forger from Spy x Family and Frieren from Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End. I think Tanezaki is extremely talented as I cannot hear Anya or Frieren in Iroha. 

Satoru and Mayu make small appearances, but their personality is shown a lot. Satoru is a bit reserved, but likes to learn. He’s very interested in learning about the origins and background of the Mirror Stone as it’s called the Mirror Stone, but people’s reflections aren’t shown. He’s also the type that seems to get flustered easily as Iroha tells him that she hopes they’re in the same class together. It makes me wonder if they’ve been friends since elementary school. I’m also curious about Daifuku; that bunny is adorable with its basket and lop-ears. Also, I didn’t expect Takuma Terashima to be his voice actor. If you’re not too familiar with voice actors, Terashima is known for being the voice actor of Mahiru Shirota from Servamp and Shiki from Edens Zero. He’s married to Satomi Satou who voiced Tsubasa’s mother in Hirogaru Sky. In terms of magical girl shows, he’s been on one before this, as he was Gero Akoya from Boueibu (a Magical boy show that parodies usual Magical girl genre). Given that his voice actor is quite reputable, it makes me wonder if he’ll continue the trend of having male Precures. I do wonder who Daifuku’s voice actor is and what gender the bunny rabbit is because Iroha used “-chan” which COULD mean the rabbit is female, but it’s mainly used for pets regarding of gender.

Mayu reminds me a bit of Kokone from Delicious Party Precure with her shy personality, but they’re a bit different. Kokone doesn’t really mind being alone or not having people talk to her while Mayu is a nervous wreck around people. Her cat Yuki’s smug expressions are HILARIOUS! I can see why she’s being memed on social media. Mayu is voiced by Reina Ueda, who’s a rising star as of now. I know her as Kanao from Demon Slayer and Miyo from My Happy Marriage (an excellent show if you like supernatural romantasy). Given that Precure characters are expressive, I can’t wait to see Ueda’s range when it comes to voicing Mayu as it does fall into her usual reserved character tropes, but the first episode alone also disproves it. Yuki, the cat, is voiced by Satsumi Matsuda, who voiced Beryberie in Hirogaru Sky. It’s cool that they get voice actors who voiced characters in past shows in this one.

Iroha’s parents seem intriguing too. Yoko, Iroha’s mother, is A BABE. Holy heck, she is beautiful. I’m a woman and I find her dazzling. I do feel bad for her as Komugi doesn’t seem to like her as much as Iroha or her husband. Speaking of Iroha’s dad, he is JACKED! Wow, I guess Iroha’s athletic sense comes from him. It’s cute to see him in a frilly apron and cooking. Komugi does seem to like him a bit more than Yoko as he gives her food; dogs always obey those who give them food (I would know because my dogs follow my mom around thinking she’ll give them snacks or table scraps when they’re mainly loyal to me).

I’m curious to see what this show has to offer as it is a new Precure show. Will it be cute? Will it be depressing? Will I be able to see cute animals? What I am seeing so far is good, so I can’t wait to see more. What are your thoughts on the premiere?

[spiritf8x]

Skip and Loafer: Ah, Youth!

Hi everyone! It's been a while!

I've just finished watching Skip and Loafer, a slice of life anime... It's been a while since I've watched a slice of life anime, especially when it's so relatable for me. I have gone through that period of youth with certain thinking, meeting new people with different personalities, and just simply enjoying life!

Although our youth journeys may not have involved certain famous figures or having a specific large scale event such as cultural event(in Japan), I've come to find a few things in common for us, simply as adolescents (whether becoming one, now or past) and as humans through this anime.

*Again, SPOILER ALERT!!*

Our story begins with Mitsumi, a girl who is living in the city, Tokyo, for the first time. The moment you see her, you'd just root for her to the end, because of her funny, cheerful vibes and most importantly, her willingness to pursue achieving her goals relentlessly. I admired her for that, to become a government official to solve the problem of depopulation in not just her hometown, but also the other parts of Tokyo. Sounds big, right?

And then, we have the other end of the spectrum, Shima, who doesn't even know about what he'll do in the future, and with his 'whatever' attitude. Although he seems to be a 'happy-go-lucky' person, deep down it was revealed that he had some unhealed trauma in the past as a child actor. He seldom talk to others about his relationship with his family to even his closest friends. So, he doesn't really know how to interact with people, especially his family.

So, when you put this 2 together, you'll get the both of them being freaking wholesome without having to be a couple!!!

(Honestly that's my favourite part, that a guy and a girl can have fun without having any romantic relationship, and that the plot os not just the girl getting all flustered and nervous while interacting with the guy. They act normal and relaxed around each other, and that's something! Please, this is just my own thoughts and opinion, so please don't attack me on this!!)

Jk, the thing is, they are pretty open to learning about and from each other. They also to begin to understand each other more through resolving of conflict, one that Shima had 'never had since elementary school'. I mean, who would want to admit that they're wrong first with their relationship and their impression at stake? That was what Shima admired about Mitsumi- She has the guts to do whatever she feels right, and she has a good moral compass, so technically that is a good thing.

She also has a goal in mind (please refer to the top if confused), which is also something Shima is envious about. With his past, he finds it hard to be able to do anything freely, and that any way of saying 'no' to people's request is a form of 'rebellion', which would offend people and result them in doing mean stuff to him. That happened in the past, and he didn't want to do it again. Not when his model friend is having such a successful career. He wishes to have the same freedom as Mitsumi did. But because of his habits of doing whatever people wanted, he couldn't seem to being himself to think about what he wanted from himself, not even being able to 'answer the question of what is his favorite food'. So you definitely know that Shima had a character development when he finally declared his thought, that he 'likes going to high school'. That made me realize how much he'd grown as a person, and finding his identity and possibly in the future, what he wants to do.

And hopefully, whether he succeeds or not, Mitsumi would bring him to a place to eat.

On Mitsumi's side, she seems like the person you would definitely want to be friends with. Kind, caring, empathetic and hilarious(on her part, really) and relentlessly pursuing her dreams. My respect for her shot up so much when she told Shima that 'it's ok if I trip or fall, because I know how to get up!' She is the kind of girl who is almost the opposite of Shima-open to people, close to her family members, studious and focused, open-minded... you can name a few!

However, one similarity and that same pitfall she had was running around and taking up all the responsibilities. When this becomes too much for her, she breaks down and cries, because of the stresses of not being able to save every single promise from everyone who requested her of something. Shima sees Mitsumi when she was in her worst state, when they were preparing for the upcoming Cultural festival, and that she couldn't get her comments to her classmates because she was busy with other student council work. While Mitsumi wishes to accomplish many goals, she has the tendency to take too much, and when happens, she gets too stressed. Shima understands this, and wanted to comfort her. By bringing her through the steps of his part, while singing 'My Little Rose ', Shima is doing his part to include Mitsumi into their class's play, which she had been so out of touch from, to assure her that what she had done would not spoil the relationship she has with her classmates, if she talks to them and understands where they're coming from. This little part of the play was shown do much on the screen, but it did show one thing- that their friendship is tied between the trust and fun of 2 people.

So after all this blabbering, what now? What has this got to do with youth? Why do i have to sigh at the start of this blog??

Well, Skip and Loafer took me on an adventure or a historical nonfiction of youth, and the depiction was real and raw. Sudden moments and thoughts weaved together shows as who we are as a person. As adolescents, we were in search of our identities, our dreams and aspirations, our relationships and connections, and the memories built from it. See, it's like crocheting from a ball of yarn to form a scarf. Something that you'd hold on dear to. And that's what Skip and Loafer tells us about. Keep an open mind, experience the bittersweet taste of youth, and keep going.

That's it! It close to midnight on my side of the Earth. So to the person reading this, whenever you are, wherever you are, have a great day, and a great night!!

[c-bush]

I have been planning on seeing this movie as soon as it was introduced to me, but there was two key films I was focused on (Joker: Folie a Deux and Venom: The Last) Normally, I never go to the theater more than twice a month because of money and stuff I really want to see. This movie, thought was an exception as I needed time to really let out a good cry and just be out of my day-to-day ritual. This movie did do the trick!

TW: Before going any further, there is going to be significant talk of cancer as that plays a huge role in this movie. If this is an uncomfortable subject, please refrain from anything I say regarding the subject regarding the movie. However, cancer isn’t always at the center of the movie.

Acting: I have to say that this was one of Garfield’s and Pugh’s best performances in my opinion. From start to finish, their chemistry is off the charts and I could feel the love that they had for each other. The subtle details like the eyes shifting up and away from each other whenever they are mad and arguing to the stuttering in Tobias’s voice (Garfield) when he is attempting to confess his love/marry her. BTW: gorgeous scene but won’t go further than that because you have to see it for yourself.

Characters: It didn’t feel like a movie, but rather two people and experiencing their lives together. Almut’s pain (Pugh) was shown throughout the movie as she is balancing a career, attempting to compete in the Bocuse d’Or an intense cooking competition. The pain is heartbreaking to see, but comforting to see that Almut is determined to beat the cancer as hard as she can so she can make something of herself that her daughter would be proud of. The way she might go about it in the intense focus but critical way can be overwhelming at times, but uncomfortable at times however it allowed me to see what the director at envisioned, that the stakes were high for Almut and Jade (cooking partner aka sous chef) and the competition setting. Outside of the cooking environment, we got to see her vulnerable side when Almut and Tobias are told that the chemotherapy isn’t working. We see for a moment about how all of her plans are falling apart, the way she looks down, holding back her tears shows how afraid she is having to go through this again. It’s devastating for her and people that have gone through this before, however, it does show the best in humanity as the nurse says to her “it’s okay not to be okay”. It’s painful to have to give this news to anyone, showing any type of honesty and comfort she can give towards her. Acknowledging the silence and hurt in a honest and artistic way.

Tobias is by far my favorite male character I have seen in a non-Marvel film. The support he gives Almut towards her career and cancer is honorable and I need to acknowledge that. We see him go through a man who only lives for the future, rushing for the next thing to happen while missing on what’s happening in front of him. However, when he professes his love for Almut, we see him become vulnerable and way from the pessimistic person that his experiences have led him up till now. It’s refreshing to see men in movies that are supportive towards there partners and giving us those types of qualities while also being able to balance out his concerns/boundaries was amazing to see in terms of writing, characterization, and acting on Garfield’s part. Both characters get there development but we also get to see them as real authentic humans who fall in love and deal with serious circumstances without having it feel too sappy/cliche.

Fair Warning: Only thing I will say about this movies that needs to be warned is the movie doesn’t go in chronological order of events. Sometimes you’ll be skipped into moments where there is the competition and training, other parts you’ll see where they first meet and just starting to get to know each other. However, this technique works as we get to see the development and the subtle details that they’ve said in the past make its way into the future and for me it wasn’t confusing. So be prepared to see sequences out of order!

Setting: Every scene and the background is gorgeous! From the restaurants to the cottages where they raise their daughter, Ellie. Every element from start to finish was perfect and matched each scene to perfection!

This was one of the best love stories I have seen in my opinion and recommend seeing this movie if you are a fan of a romance movie comedy/drama film!

[steely-eyedmissileman]

The Vampire Diaries, Ep. 2x01

The Return

very obvious title for this episode. uninspired.

we see the end of last season again, reliving the katherine of it all. this time, we see elena reach john. he tries to warn her about katherine, but katherine is moving too quickly, and is not seen by elena. when elena goes to the hospital, there's some confusion by everyone because jenna and damon thought katherine was elena. damon figures it out first, though. in some ways, he is the stupidest man who has ever lived. in other ways, he is very smart. he says that the gang should 'stake her [katherine], rip her head off, something poetic.' he's still hurt, but he is also insisting that he isn't hurt.

jeremy is fine, thank goddess, and he won't become a vampire. if he keeps being pathetic, i will be forced to care about him.

lydia martin's mom is back and she sucks slightly less now. and, tragically, there's another white man, an uncle mason. he's clearly here to be a werewolf mentor, so he is allowed, barely. i'll call him nawm (not another white man).

john's not fucking dead, unfortunately. elena tells him, 'you see the world with such hatred. it's going to get you killed.' then elena leaves and stefan threatens john's life. i am concerned. he hasn't had any human blood, right?

then, we go to the mayor's wake or whatever. we then see fuck face, who i will be calling tyler from now on (at least until he becomes insufferable again). tyler is bearable now, and he doesn't say the worst possible thing at every moment, so i'll extend him some grace. (i may also need to use the name fuck face for someone worse in the future.) tyler invites katherine into his house, which is annoying. he couldn't possibly know, though. he doesn't even know vampires exist, let alone katherine.

bonnie and damon fight and i see why the girlies ship it. bonnie also finds out about katherine. katherine tries to kill bonnie, but bonnie protects herself.

stefan and katherine go on a little walk and have a conversation. stefan repeatedly insists that he was never in love with katherine and she insists she knows otherwise. stefan is mean to her, tells her to get out of town. she stabs him through the stomach with an iron stick. (i thought that was pretty fun.) the immediate next scene shows elena trying to help heal stefan, which is a lovely parallel.

later, damon and elena talk. damon: 'you think katherine is going to send me off the deep end. i don't need her for that.' blah blah blah elena: 'i'm surprised that you thought i'd kiss you back.' there's more to this conversation, but these are the important bits. katherine is going to send damon off the deep end. i don't know which way he's going to go yet, but he certainly is going to go off the deep end. however, he says that he doesn't need katherine for that. damon is finally admitting to being deeply unstable, but the admission doesn't make me feel any better. it actually makes me feel worse. elena is surprised that damon thinks she would kiss him back. this can mean two things: either she's surprised that damon would think she could love him or she's surprised that damon would think she would betray stefan like that. i think elena mostly meant the second interpretation. it's clear that she likes damon, and i don't think it's a stretch for her to understand that, in different circumstances, she could have fallen for damon instead of stefan. damon, though, certainly takes the first interpretation. he thinks that elena has admitted to being disgusted by the idea of being in love with damon, which is not what elena meant to convey.

tyler and jeremy have a nice bonding moment where they agree that the mayor was a dick. i'm glad that these two are no longer in a contest to see which of them can be a bigger asshole. jeremy also talks to john. we learn that the no-dying ring doesn't save people from natural deaths. john tells jeremy 'you are a gilbert and you've been exposed to this town's darkest secret and with that comes responsibility.' jeremy responds, 'i don't believe in that family legacy stuff.' thank goddess, jeremy, finally some rationality. i do think that knowing about vampires does give some responsibility. you should do your best to keep people alive. however, the idea that knowing about vampires means that you have to spend all your time trying desperately to destroy all of them is deeply flawed.

stefan and damon had a talk shortly after stefan got stabbed (things are out of order in this post because i simply could not keep the chronology of the episode straight). damon wants stefan to fight him because he tried to kiss elena. however, stefan is unwilling to fight. he knows that katherine wants to drive them apart and he is unwilling to play ball. despite damon's desire to take out his aggression, stefan wants to present a united front. it's a noble message, but it won't last. these cracks will need to be healed eventually, and refusing to fight about it isn't solving the problem, it's just putting off the problem for a later date.

tyler breaks a bunch of pictures of his father, scaring his mother (who is kind of a terrible person, so i don't feel that bad). nawm calms him down and tries to figure out what the fuck is going on with tyler. he is not successful.

katherine comes to the salvatore house (ironically, as we were setting up this scene, i was talking about how stupid it was that damon killed the 'uncle' last season because there is no human living in the house and katherine can walk in whenever she wants). katherine and damon fight. why do they keep choking each other? do vampires need to breathe? katherine reveals that she never loved damon, only stefan. it's all about my boy and now damon's a wet rat.

damon reacts to this information in the only logical way, by going to elena's house to watch over her. he's extremely drunk and also quite upset. he kisses elena and she tries to get him away from her but he just won't go. she eventually says that she doesn't love him, only stefan. in almost the exact same words as katherine used. jeremy comes in to try to help his sister and damon kills jeremy. elena is distraught, but realizes that jeremy has the no-dying ring on. damon almost certainly did not notice that he had it, though. this means that damon intentionally tried to murder elena's brother. this is not a good look, damon. elena tells stefan that she hates damon and wants nothing to do with him.

in the last, and most upsetting, scene of the episode, we see caroline in her hospital bed. she was doing badly earlier in the episode, but damon gave her some vampire blood (on bonnie's orders) and she's all better now. katherine comes in, acting like elena, until she tells caroline to give a message to the salvatore brothers: game on. she then smothers caroline with a pillow. caroline still had damon's blood in her system. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

[kenziefear]

I was almost married. Almost. But he left me at the altar. When nobody in the village could find him, I went searching myself. When I found him, he was in the arm's of another man.

There was relief in that for a moment. Argyle hadn't left me at the altar for any fault of mine, I just wasn't the kind of person he wanted to marry. But I immediately knew, it would be scandal. Lord of the manor caught with the strange traveler - a handsome man, with these auburn eyes - only spotted at night. He had charmed Argyle. Maybe for the money, the blackmail? Who knew, but they were wrapped together none the less.

I tried to get a closer look, being nosy and intensely curious, but a branch snapped beneath my feet. They both looked up, spotting me. My face felt flush with embarrassment. Quickly, I turned to rush away, so easily spotted in my white wedding gown. But I was snatched aggressively, thrown to the ground and knocked out cold.

When I awoke, I was covered in blood, soaking my dress like a fresh strawberry stain. It was mine, I knew it, but I wasn't in pain. I felt nothing at all except cold.

I've been alive nearly two centuries since then. Not dead, but not alive, just endlessly living on, never aging, never falling sick.

I watched my mother pass, all my friends and remaining family. Eventually my endless youth began to frighten the townsfolk, so I ran to Argyle's manor to hide with him.

His lover had turned us both into the undead, one vampire, one witch. Two people who had seen the world turn over and over again. Most people don't know this, but a witch can live forever when their blood is mixed with that of the undead. Like a potion of youth, they congeal and create eternal life. Unlike Argyle, I could stand the sun, I could eat human food - I received all the gifts of a vampire with none of the downsides! - save for wanting to die.

When all those who remembered my face passed away and the witch trials went out of style, I returned to the town. I lived in this beautiful Victorian house with my familiar, pouring everything I had into a normal life. I became a fortune teller for the people of the town, advising them through life, giving them potions to help their everyday ailments. Women would come to me for love potions, men would come for a tarot spread. I began to live a life where I could wave to my neighbors and take a jog with no fear of being burned at the stake.

Life became routine, but a routine that didn't bore me. When the time came, I knew I'd be able to move on to the next town, start a life away from any lineage I knew. But for now, I could see Argyle's manor on the hill, visit the woods that hadn't changed since I was born, watch the families grow and flourish around me.

Something I had yet to learn in my years of experience is that things can change instantly, the rug can be swept from underneath you, and there's hardly any chance of seeing your own future plow you over.

[nothingkillsyoulikeyourmind105]

Betrayal

Warning: Mentions of Death, Violence,Depression, Suicide, Breaking Up, Torture, Blood, Explicit Language.

Chapter 12

Last Part To The Series Betrayal

Master List for Betrayal Series

Audrey watched in horror as everyone she knew as friends or family. Betrayed her. She had to make a choice save herself and Eddie or burn the world. And sit upon her throne of blood, watch the work burn. She had already lost everyone she loved. Bucky watched helplessly as the woman he loved turn in a powerful creature. This was his fault. He wanted to make things right. But it hurt so much watching her fall apart again.

Not knowing what to say he looked to his beloved.

“Wanda Darling”

“I know”

“I love you Vis”

“And I love you Wanda”

Tears rolling down her cheeks she held back her sobs.

Vision wiped away her tears. With a wave of his hands he resumed time. Wanda touched his face.

“STOP”

“Audrey please wait don’t do this?”

Wanda held out her hand

“Audrey let us help you please. This isn’t the way to do this.”

“I know you lost a lot. We have seen the future. And its not gonna end the you want it too.”

“I’m sorry Eddie doesn’t make it. And ……an……you ……..(sobs) you kill everyone in a fit of rage.

Audrey stood in silence.

“Eddie is gone Audrey”

“Venom! Let me think!”

“THEN SAVE HIM! WANDA SAVE HIM FOR US PLEASE!”

“Venom he’s all we have?”

“Audrey save him for us”

Audrey turned towards everyone.

She reverted back to her human form. Falling to her knees she started crying. Rubbing her eyes she couldn’t hold back the pain.

Looking up at everyone. Anger in heart she couldn’t show weakness to anyone.

Venom tried to find a a way to comfort her. She kneel down in front of the glass. Looking at Eddie. Watching him closely she noticed him breathing.

“Wanda, Vision don’t do this?”

Tony watched the couple look at each other once again.

“Tony you don’t know what’s at stake here. She could enslave the world. And take away everything in a heartbeat. Millions of lives will be lost. Just trust us.”

Bucky rushed to Bruce to check on Steve. The gash in his neck and chest started to close up slowly. Bucky tried so hard to hold back his tears. But the tears fell on Steve.

“Wake Up Punk, it’s supposed to be Till The End Of The Line?”

“Sergeant Barnes I have to get him out of here. Steve is gonna be okay he’s stable now.”

Bucky moved out of the way. Watching the medical personnel take Steve to the medical wing.

“Audrey Stop This!”

His back still facing her he wiped away his tears. Clearing his throat he spoke in a calm demeanor. He held back his pain. Hoping that his voice wouldn’t crack.

“I’m sorry for what I did it’s all my fault. It has always been my fault. The day you lost your dad was the hardest moment in your life. The day I decided to cheat on you. That was no mistake. I was going through a lot of self doubt and she was there. She made me forget all the pain. I couldn’t stop myself and I couldn’t bring myself to admit the shame. I should’ve been there for you when you needed me the most.”

Wiping away his stray tears he couldn’t face her. Not like this. He was a crying mess. His heart broken. His mind wandering endlessly about Audrey.

“I don’t deserve you Audrey? You were the beautiful woman that walked into my life and I messed up. I don’t deserve your love. He does.”

Bucky painfully turned around. Wiping away his tears. He sniffled. Eyes red, strays tears fell in the silent room. The smell of her sweat and perfume mixed reminded him of the better days.

Painfully he pointed to Eddie. The man that swept her off her feet. The man that caressed her heart and soul.

“Tony let them go!”

Bucky looked at Tony.

“Umm Excuse me Manchurian Project did you forget her alien boyfriend is a murderer! ”

Tony stepped down from the stairs. Face to face with Bucky.

“Tony Let Them Go!!”

Dry tears stained his face. Looking at Tony in a stoic manner. He stood his ground.

“If we do this we’re no better then them!”

“I’m not comparing us to them. They murder and kidnap anyone. But his he’s a murderer he’s killed people around here. If all of you forgotten there is dozens and dozens of missing people flyers out there. That thing in the cell is responsible. I’m not changing my mind on this he stays locked up and she needs to be restrained or dealt with.”

Tony secretly had Happy escort Pepper to a safe location. He sighed with relief knowing she was safe. Tony conflicted with his thoughts.

“If you hurt him. I promise you I will take everything you love and I will make you watch them take their last pathetic breaths screaming your name TONY STARK!”

Audrey’s hands pressed against the glass. Her hair covered her face. Anger and sadness coursed her blood. Hearing Tony talk made her skin crawl, her blood boil.

“Tony! Let them go!”

Bucky shouted at Tony again.

“We don’t need blood shed. Just let them go. How can be be so sure it’s him?”

Sam yelled across the room.

Sam watched in horror. He had chosen his side when the chaos begin. But thinking about his decision he had a chance to make it right. Audrey was like a sister to him. She’s been through so much. This wasn’t right.

Wanda held her hands up. A red haze appeared around Eddie’s head.

“Oh my god. How could we have been so wrong. I’m so sorry Audrey. I’m so sorry.”

Wanda Telepathically Speaking To Vision

“Vis it wasn’t him at all. They are here for her. They want her I saw what he saw when he saved her. I’ve made a mistake. This is all my fault I caused this all. I should’ve checked before all of this.” “If he dies the future we saw. Everyone will die.”

Tony tried to reason with himself. He needed the evidence. But the missing people flyers piling up around the city he couldn’t take any chances. Without another thought he set off a silent alarm.

Windows shattering, sounds of boots hitting the granite floors. Audrey’s tears watered up her eyes. Seeing Double Eddie lying on the ground she yelped. It seemed as time slowed down.

Venom had taken over. Protecting Audrey with the Black mass. Cradling her inside he had to do something.

Wanda had fear this. Vision cradled her in his chest to shield her from the massacre. But the air fell silent.

The glass doors had open.

“please……don’t ……….audrey darling wait……..”

“Eddie”

“Darling is that you?”

“audrey I heard you in the dark you called my name? I tried to find you. I heard you crying?”

“don’t cry my darling. I love you? I know this isn’t the time and place but venom and me wanted to give you this”

Venom reverted back into Audrey’s body. She came running into the cell. Picking his head off the ground cradling him in her lap. Her tears fell on his face. His kissable pink lips dried with tiny cracks. His eyes still shut. His cheeks pale. He spoke again.

“Audrey”

“sorry it’s in my pocket”

Venom quickly reached into Eddie’s pocket only to pull out gum wrappers and a old receipt and lint balls.

“Other pocket”

Venom chuckled. Knowing damn well he was embarrassing Eddie in front of the woman he had fallen head over heels in love with.

Venom pulled out a small velvet box. Carrying it to Eddie’s hand. He placed the small box in his hands. Waiting for Eddie to say something. He watched him grasp the box and slowly try to sit up. Venom exited Audrey body seeping into Eddie’s tired form.

Venom helped Eddie gather his strength. He waited for him to reveal the contents of the box and give his little speech he had been practicing for days.

Venom had given him so much shit about the speech. Telling Eddie it’s too cheesy and she might run away from a loser like him but Eddie knew otherwise.

“Audrey I know we only known each other for awhile now not long but I know deep down you fell head over heels for me when we had first met. The way you smiled at me was enough for me to know I had a chance. I know I scared you when you had met Venom. But you accepted him. And I love that about you but here it goes”

“Oh my god Eddie?!”

Audrey’s face turned bright red.

“Eddie!?”

“What’s that?”

Audrey’s face changed immediately. Holding back her giggle her eyes started to tear up. Venom had started laughing so hard. He had to make an appearance.

Eddie quickly looked into the box only to find a small pebble. Written on it said loser.

Venom couldn’t contain his laughter. Eddie was so embarrassed but shocked that his gift was missing.

“Your sweater pocket Loser”

“Eddie quickly reached into his pocket feeling a small metal ring.”

“Audrey will you do me the honor in running away with me. From all of this, far away so you don’t not have to worry about Hydra.”

“From him”

Eddie pulled from his pocket a ring. He had been saving for leaving the city but after meeting Audrey he knew he wanted forever with her.

Hearing Eddie say “him”. Bucky knew this was her chance to start something new in her life. As much as it hurt seeing another man take his place he had to help her escape. Without saying another word. Tony and his team swarmed around the cell guns pointing towards them and power dampening collars held ready for the couple.

“Eddie I do.”

Audrey leaned down to kiss Eddie. But Venom shoved Eddie up making him Kiss Audrey. It was as time stopped for the couple stopping to catch their breaths. The room had darken. A red cloud surrounded them.

The cloud started to clear away to reveal they had been teleported out of the city. Where Wanda and Vision stood holding a brown envelope.

“I’m sorry for everything Audrey. I shouldn’t have peeked in his mind a looked around before I knew your side of the story. Forgive me Audrey.”

“In time I will find the will to forgive you Wanda but we have to leave now. Thank you for sparing his life.”

“Hey loser you didn’t tell her I picked out the ring!”

“I did you kept talking about chocolate and tater tot’s”

“I did loser! You did nothing loser!”

Wanda opened the car door Audrey helping her get inside. She watched as they left. Wanda transported themselves back at the tower. With a snap of Vision fingers time resumed.

Everyone still arguing only to notice Audrey and Eddie were no where to be seen. Tony frantically pulled up all camera footage hoping to find a clue. Fury team sent out search parties searching the city for the couple. Wanda and Vision denied any involvement with help them escape.

Bucky left the room with a heavy heart knowing she had gotten away. His love for her hurt. Walking back to his room he wanted to lie down on his bed in hopes she was safe.

On his bed he found a letter.

Dear, James

By the time you’re reading this I will be gone. In this letter holds a spell. Use it whenever you would like it will wipe your mind of our life together. You will not have to bear that burden of a lost love.

I did love you. I always have and I forgive you. I hope you find peace and happiness.

Take care of yourself.

-Audrey.

Just as she stated in the letter was a symbol and words written. He held the letter close to his heart. Crying in his room he looked at the letter once again. Reading the words from the letter. A dark red cloud rose from it made his eyes glow blue. The letter disappeared. Buckys laid on the floor only to picked up by a red haze laid gently down on the bed. Where he slept.

The next day he awakened with no memory of the woman who had caused the chaos. Everyone figured Audrey had wiped his mind.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Memory in Children: Mechanical Choices (Sagrada Reset 3) - Chapter 2: Android Girl (2 years later/August 30th, Wednesday)

[INDEX]

The 16-year-old Asai Kei and Haruki Misora sat on the tetrapods under the quiet light of sunset. When Kei opened his eyes again, Haruki was looking straight at him.

"Is the Souma in the photo real? Would pulling this girl outside of the photo really mean resurrecting Souma Sumire?", she mumbled.

It wasn't the first time she asked this question.

Haruki asked this same question when first mentioned the plan to take Souma out of the photo.

(She must be remembering Mari.)

The man-made copy of the dead Kurakawa Mari.

He acknowledged the similarities between the circumstances of Mari and Souma's photo. Both were replicas created by abilities in response to the original's death.

Kei gives the same answer as before.

"I don't know."

Kei didn't know if someone created to be identical to someone qualified as being the same person.

"But Haruki, that's a question that doesn't need an answer. If we see her, we should just smile and talk to her."

He truly meant what he said but he had his misgivings.

He was trying to revive a dead person. And one with Future Sight, no less. Kei knew how a woman with the same ability—the self-proclaimed witch who lost her name—lived her whole life. He couldn't imagine Souma Sumire having a peaceful life after reviving.

(She knew how unsure I'd be right now.)

That's why the Souma in the photo had the MacGuffin on her right hand.

The MacGuffin on her hand was a message to Kei. That tiny rock told him that Souma planned everything. Kei could say for sure that she wanted to be revived.

He still didn't know Souma's motives. Why did she need to die? Why is she coming out of a photo to return to the world? What did she stake her life for? He had no answers. All he knew was that she saw the possibilities of the future and the following events were laid out at her discretion.

(But you know, Souma? I'm a really self-serving guy. I don't care about what you were thinking.)

"I'll pull Souma out of the photo. That's what I've decided to do."

Kei couldn't let her death stay. That was his own selfish and heavy-handed wish.

Haruki nodded.

She agreed with her usual meekness.

"Understood."

(Souma was probably suffering the whole time. She wanted us to notice her pain, which is why she asked that question.)

ー Who is the android?

She was begging them to notice her pain. At the same time, she smiled to pretend things were fine. But that summer, too much of Kei's brain was occupied with Haruki Misora.

(Souma Sumire was strong. Too strong for a 14-year-old girl. That's why she couldn't step off the tracks of her Future Sight. She was unfortunately capable of continuing to walk straight ahead despite it hurting. And she unfortunately reached her goal without anyone realizing her pain. If only she was just a little weaker. She wouldn't have died if she was able to stop a few steps earlier despite knowing that it wasn't optional and it wouldn't lead to the future she wanted.)

That girl, daring, solitary, and capricious like a stray cat, was the human being who least understood the meaning of freedom. It was like she was controlled by a program from the day of her birth to the day she ceased functioning. Souma Sumire was dominated by the Future Sight ability.

"Kei.", called Haruki Misora.

She looked at him with a timid expression.

"Are you crying?"

Familiar words. He heard this exact phrase two years before.

Kei's answer was different from what it was two years before.

"No, I'm smiling."

Souma's revival. Or the birth of a person identical to her. Whichever it was, it was something meant to be welcomed with smiles. He needed to smile, no matter how forcedly.

Much like he imagines Souma was smiling at her last moments, knowing everything that would happen.

[emergencybitch]

I really wish serious American Anarchists would stop and think for a moment and ask themselves if this rebellion and revolution of pure chaos they seem to get their rocks off to would actually be any better than what we have right now, when they refuse to consider that anarchy and the destruction that is sure to follow real attempts at anarchy will disproportionately harm disabled and chronically ill folk. Like? Do you understand we’re already struggling to survive with the resources we have? Do you understand we’re already being treated as second class citizens?

When your movement disregards that it almost ensures our death because you demolish the few systems set up to help us and our families, and halt the production life saving medical equipment, you’re condemning us to die faster than this current system is, right?

You’re killing us quicker than capitalism ever could. Your actions will result in a near genocide for disabled folk nationally.

Except they do know that, they just don’t care. They don’t care that millions will die, and they don’t care to pay attention to those who always die first. They claim their aim is freedom from oppression, but their movement actually speed runs the current systems end goal in disabled discrimination; erasing us completely.

And they don’t care because it’s the greater good to them. It’s necessary. They see it as liberation but those people already have a leg up on the rest. And you better believe that after disabled folk, those with mental illness and social disorders will be next. Trans people will become a target in the chaos that committed Anarchists strive for, because anarchy yields revolution and war. And that’s not an exaggeration.

But we’re a sacrifice to these people. And it’s wild because, as a person with a pretty debilitating chronic illness, with a father who has MS and a mother who’s had knee problems since the womb and diabetes that requires insulin injections, we’ve always been a sacrifice to the rest of the world. An after thought, or at its worst, literal vermin to be locked and hidden away.

And I’m tired of this world asking me to sacrifice my life, my families lives, and our mentally and emotional well being for the sake of the possibility of a better future, especially when they never have a plan for one anyway. And if they do, it never includes us. They don’t care whether we live or die, they don’t care whether or not their freedom includes everybody or if it just includes themselves. They don’t care that they sound just like the current system to us. It doesn’t matter to them, as long as their “greater good” is achieved.

You’re always asking us to pretend we don’t have a stake in this world too, like we don’t matter. Like we’re not human just like the rest of you. And I’m sick of it.

[kiss-my-freckle]

After everything that happened during Stefan’s ripper phase and Elena being able to move past everything he did. I thought they could get through Elena being a vampire, and I know some of it has to do with Elena’s feelings for Damon, but the biggest issue in my opinion is that Stefan can’t accept who she is now and who she has to be to survive as a vampire.

do you think it's unfair that Elena had to open her veins to the Ripper and accept Stefan's vampirism and Stefan can't let her embrace it before trying to fix her?

I think it's one of the most disgusting things in the show.

Stefan and Elena met at a time when they both needed each other. Stefan's need was a sense of belonging. He hates being a vampire and doesn't want to be part of that life. There's no belonging for him in that world. He's all about the human experience, so he desperately needed to belong in Elena's. He could've gotten that anywhere, but he fixated after saving her because she looks like Katherine. I could list scene after scene regarding Stefan's issue with vampirism. I find it to be one of the most disgusting things in the show because it's not just Elena. He didn't want Vicki to complete her transition, but actually wanted her to die. Instead of snapping her neck to stop her from harming Jeremy and Elena, he staked her. 26 people he didn't want to rescue from the tomb because to him, they're not people. Harper had to stand up against Frederick's torture just to get his respect. Anna may be a vampire, but she died around Jeremy's age, and she's been without her mother for 145 years. Guarantee she spent those years in extreme torment in knowing her mother was desiccating. Even as they readied to open the tomb, he was going to deny her that reunion. A mother and daughter ffs.

Stefan actually forced Damon to become a vampire, then shunned him because that's what he is. He's the kind of person that expects people to live as he lives because he doesn't know how to deal otherwise. Damon never forced his lifestyle on Stefan. Pressure him, yes. But Damon never shoved him in a cellar and forced him to stay there until he drank human blood. He never snapped his neck, took his ring, and kept him in a shed until he "behaved" like a vampire. He never masked human blood and pretended it came from an animal. Unlike Stefan, he doesn't need his brother to live as he does. But Stefan desperately needs Damon to act human. He actually told him to go off and find another town to turn into his own Gas 'n Sip. He'd rather spend an eternity without Damon than have a vampire in his life. Elena only worsened him. For four seasons, he fought to get Damon out of their lives even though she was the only one in 145 years to actually reach him, to gain his trust, to change him. He so much as tried to deny them a friendship.

Elena needed Stefan because death brings a certain darkness. While I hate the fact that she depended on a guy to make her happy, she needed someone to help her move forward. She died the night her parents did - the very person she was when she had parents. So she was not only mourning them, she was trying to figure out who she was in their absence. It's kina like season 6 Elena without Damon because her parents defined her up until that point. "I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off." I spoke about this before, but Damon and Stefan had different roles in Elena's loss. Stefan helped her move forward after the death of her parents, but the girl that died with them was all Damon. Fans can argue it it all they want, but Stefan treated her like a broken toy from the moment she died, and it's not like Elena was the only one to see it and feel it. Damon did too, and it bothered him. In season 4, Stefan completely negated what she told Matt. "But it's like I knew that he would never stop loving me." Not even a full season later that she told him, "You don't have to love me like this." This girl that welcomed Stefan into her world, gave him that sense of belonging he needed. He took away her own sense of belonging, and to the extent that if it weren't for Damon, it's very likely she would've suicided. Not just with his actions or even just his words, but in the very way he looked at her. Like how dare she come out of that water as something other than human.

Disgusting.

[cmcreid-warriorprincess]

Caroline ‘Carrie’ McReid

She/Her

20 years old (Birthday: 20th January)

Vampire - turned November 2016

Good - Resistance (although in the throes of #existential crisis)

So What Happened?

They flew too close to the sun, you know? Wait-- taking it back a step. Prom --- right? A magical, wonderful night where Carrie danced with her vampire boyfriend Alex and worried too much about their future. About having more time. She had no idea what was in store, not really.

When the news broke that Leo and Effy had been killed in an ‘accident’, the McReids immediately suspected foul play. This was later confirmed in confidence between Karen and Sheriff Bennett. Juliette Palmer was a warlock now and it was bad.

The McReids had been preparing for things to kick off- ideally they’d wanted to stop it before it ever began- but no one could have seen it coming. There were too many of them and they were too strong. Engel had removed the weaknesses from supernaturals (stakes killing vampires, silver hurting werewolves etc) in Havensdale before trapping them all inside.

The move underground happened fast. Once it was clear they couldn’t win the fight, Karen moved fast. And she wasn’t alone. Krystal McReid was still alive and she was here. Thanks to some very powerful magic, a safe place had been created underground, sealed by McReid blood. Founder Festival was only the beginning and they were lucky to make it out, all of them.

That’s when the work had to really begin. The underground #Resistance grew and grew. At first, they were rescuing those on the #1 hit list for the Bad GuysTM and after, gaining new recruits above and below ground for their cause. It was a simple objective: free the town, kill the bad guys and save the day.

There were a lot of highs and lows- losses and gains- from June 2014 to November 2016, including Carrie’s dear friend and comrade Molly Vaughn being turned into a vampire.

They had to do something. That was the sentiment on November, 2016. They had to make a move, take a stand. Something big and powerful. It was time to take them out where they lived, flatten their HQ once and for all. They planned and planned but they didn’t plan enough. No one could have predicted just how badly wrong that mission would go.

Her Aunt Karen was killed. Jordan wasn’t there when they needed him (lured outside the Dome), when Carrie was captured. When Ruby, Corey and Alex were forced to watch. Edward knew what he was doing all along... He made Alex drink her blood before delivering a fatal blow. Carrie never wanted to be a vampire. Alex saved her life.

From the moment Carrie turned into a vampire, fed human blood to complete the transition, she was rendered useless. Drowning in a sea of overwhelming, heightened emotion, Edward took her out of the fight. And then Ruby... She got herself turned as well. Bloodline hunters shouldn’t be vampires.

That was 6 months ago. She hasn’t recovered and she doesn’t think that they she will. That they can. How can they win this fight? How could they ever?

Wanted Connections

All the #Resistance members!! Especially those who have been hunkered down in the underground. And now, any #good vamps that can help her through these trying times.