#but as an insecure person the other part is never quite as easy to believe lol so its SUCH a comfort when it is... <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[bobmckenzie]

HONESTLY in regards to "being able to pull my f/os or not" I actually have to admit that's part of why my ship with Bob is my most comforting, bc for some reason my brain just 100% accepts the idea that he would find me physically attractive kdkdklsld like with most of my other f/os I struggle with that idea but with Bob it's just never been a problem?? and I can't even describe why, there's nothing in canon to support this, it's just... something i inexplicably believe lol

[myloveharry]

Dating Ron Weasley Headcanons

If it wasn't clear, he loves food and doesn't share, but you're an exception.

Ron loves to sleep, especially if it's on your shoulder, on your lap, or in your arms.

He loves to cuddle, and you stay wrapped in each other's arms till late morning, loving each other's presence.

You're the only one he loves more than food.

He's talkative, and doesn't like it when you go quiet for too long. He thinks that you're upset, and tries his best to cheer you up.

Ron is fiercely protective of you, if anyone ever tries to hurt you or harm you, he along with his friends and the Weasley twins will march on them.

He's also very possessive. Ron's the kind of person who gets jealous easily, but he's also easy enough to calm down once reassured.

Ron will never let you feel bad about yourself. If you ever feel insecure or underconfident, he'll be there to shower you with praise and show you how beautiful and amazing you are.

He's quite laidback and not opinioniated. You're the one who makes most decisions in your relationship.

But Ron has strong family values, and will always try to help you in whatever you do. He doesn't believe in things like 'that's a woman's job' or 'that's a man's job', he's quite openminded.

Ron feels bad because he can't spoil you like you deserve to be since he's not very wealthy, but you don't find any problems with it. You love him for him and nothing else.

At Hogwarts, you're always helping him in school, and seeing your efforts and dedication for him, he's begun to study harder.

He's proud of you, and he's proud that he has you. He loves to show you off, and though you don't want unnecessary attention, a part of you is giddy at that fact.

Ron is nervous when he plays Quidditch, but when you're in the stands, cheering for him, it boosts his confidence. And you have to admit, him in his Quidditch robes is a tad good sight.

Once Molly came to know about you, you started receiving a Weasley jumper at Christmas too, and once, the design on it was of you and Ron engraved in a heart.

Ron is not very rich, but he tries his best to get you the best present he can on Christmas and your birthday. You've no problem with that, since his efforts matter more to you than money ever could.

Ron doesn't like loud noises and parties, and his ideal evening would be spent in the common room with you and his close friends.

Ron is not vocal with his feelings, he doesn't talk a lot about how he feels about you but he does mutter the words 'i love you' to you before you to go to bed.

He learnt how to give you a massage, and whenever you're stressed or frustrated, he'll always be there to calm you down and take care of you.

Ron may not say it, but he loves you. Beyond words. You love him too. He's not perfect, but he's as good as they get, and you're grateful and happy that you have him and wouldn't trade him for anyone else.

[angelicbeaut]

Decide.

I remember when I started my journey learning of myself and my power, I was very insecure in my ability, which by the way is totally normal. It didn’t seem natural for me to just decide what I wanted and have it, it seemed too easy, because a lot of us did not grow up having things so easily so there can be some resistance within us to accept our desires. Again, normal.

However, we have to understand that there are infinite realities, infinite scenarios, infinite lives that we can live. It doesn’t have to come with emotion, it doesn’t even have to feel real at first, but you yourself have the power to choose who you will be. That is the point of life, and if you have discovered this, congrats you have won.

There are many things I have decided over the years. At one point in life I decided I was ugly, and I experienced nothing but that. However the lovely part about deciding is that you can always change your mind. As of now, I have made several decisions that have completely altered my life:

I decided my mom was going to mom into a new house in a wealthy neighborhood by a park I grew up going to but could never afford to live close by to. She called me last week and told me about a house, in the wealthy neighborhood, by the exact park that she is buying this month.

I decided that I was beautiful, and that every person I like is obsessed with me and from that point forward I have randomly manifested love interests I haven’t even spoken to in years calling me wanting a chance, flowers, dates, compliments, secret admirers, and more.

I decided when I was around 16 that I was going to be a rich housewife. Now this is more of a in the future thing, but I have no doubt I will live that life because I have decided. I can see it so clearly in my mind that I have quite frankly already been there, and I know it to be true. So much so that everyone in my life has told me they don’t see me in any other type of relationship when I get married except one of that nature. Right now I’m preoccupied with just being a girl, but again, I KNOW it is going to happen, and my life is aligning every second of the day for me to get exactly what I want.

I decided in high school that no matter what happened during the year, I never ended with less than a B. missing assignments, things turned in late, missing class, whatever it was, didn’t matter and doesn’t matter, and to this day, I have never received less than a B, even in college. It’s something I’ve always believed and it’s never failed me.

These are just a few things, but most importantly, once you decide. STAY STEADFAST IN YOUR DECISION. You need to understand that things are always happening, things are shifting every second in your favor when you hold on to your belief. They quite literally have no choice. EVERYTHING IS YOU, EVERYTHING MOVES ACCORDING TO YOU!

If you decide you can’t manifest, you won’t. If you decide this is fake, it has no choice but to be fake. You will forever be stuck in a loop unless YOU choose otherwise.

So sweets, what’re you going to decide today?

luv, che 🌷

[yayakoishii]

Lucky | Sanji x Chubby!Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader

Could be considered a part 2 to Want but can be read (and is written as a) stand-alone!

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: Angst, Fluff??

Warnings: Insecurity about stretch marks, mentions of/implications of (but not explicit) sex so Read At Your Own Discretion, low self esteem, etc.

A/n: I'm not the type of person to write about things that are personal to me, tbh, but this idea played around in my head. I know you can have stretch marks from a variety of reasons but I wrote my own, and I would just like to remind everyone that they're normal. You're absolutely gorgeous as you are, my lovelies. I hope you enjoy this little fic ♡

also available on ao3!

Sanji felt like the luckiest man in the entire universe.

When Sanji and you had finally got together, he couldn't believe it. It felt unreal to have you reciprocate his feelings, to have you look at him shyly but with warm eyes that made him feel seen and heard– and he was ready to swear over his life to you, holding back only so as to not freak you out. Unlike his usual grand confessions, you were more important to him, a person he could not even take the risk of driving away. If you found him clingy, or obsessive, and he lost you… somehow, even the thought of that made him feel like someone was stabbing at his heart with a fork, over and over.

And he was ready to take this relationship at your pace. Whatever you were ready to offer him, he would gladly take it. Even if you wanted to wait to have sex until you were married, he would gladly do it simply because he was already head over heels in love with you. It scared him a little, when he was by himself in the confines of dark nights, just how much he was ready to sacrifice for a shred of your pure heart. To have you around him as long as the world would let him… The fact that you never hesitated to showcase your love, though you were shy in public, made his heart soar. He never had to wait for anything – except maybe sex.

The problem though, seemed to be something else.

It's not like you didn't want it. Clearly, going by the number of times the two of you had engaged in heavy make out sessions that seemed to lead towards it eventually, you were as affected by him as he was by you. But everytime that happened, your eyes would suddenly lose their drunken haze and shift back into a sort of nervousness and sadness that made Sanji feel helpless. You would stop after that, drawing back into your shell, wrapping your arms around your body and blocking him out.

He took it easy. Sanji didn't want to push you into talking until you were ready, and he certainly didn't want you to feel that a relationship without sex wasn't on the table. So he waited, giving you time to talk about it yourself; it was no good. If anything, you got quieter over time, hesitating even more around him.

It drove him crazy, and he would have questioned if you truly did like him if it wasn't for the fact that you maintained all other aspects of physical intimacy. There was no hesitation when it came to giving him hugs or kisses or affirmations of how in love you were with him, whenever he felt vulnerable and insecure. And that was what made him wonder; were you struggling with your own insecurities of some sort?

It didn't make sense to him that someone as perfect as you should find anything to fault in yourself, but after all, his lens of love was not to be compared with the harsh critics that were your own eyes and mind. He knew you were hesitant of your own body, its curves and how it was different from the slender figures of the other ladies on board and on land.

In Sanji's eyes, you were perfect as you were– soft and warm in all the right places, with a kind and caring personality. There was nothing about you that he didn't love and nothing that he found ugly, yet he didn't quite know how to make you believe him.

It wasn't even that you hated your body. He had seen you have confidence at times, but he had also seen it waver when it came to rude comments or just general low moods. You had your moments of low self-esteem but even in those moments, Sanji found himself a slave of your beauty. No, a devotee would be a better word. He wanted to worship you and your body as you deserved and yet, all his plans were thwarted every time you stopped in the middle of an escalating make out session to give him a small smile and come up with some random excuse to leave.

You were all that he wanted, and he was determined to let you know just what you looked like through his eyes. Sanji's chance came sooner than he had thought, the very night of when he made the resolution.

You lingered around in the kitchen after dinner, humming a song shyly after Sanji had insisted. When he was done with the dishes, you had helped him put them back despite his protests.

"Join me, my love?" He had asked as the two of you stepped out of the kitchen. He had to lock it and he waited for your answer as he did so. You were silent for a while before you spoke up.

"Oh, Sanji, um," you hesitated, clearly overthinking and worried that if you declined then it would be in bad taste but clearly also hesitant of what he was hoping for. "I, I actually…"

"Nothing that you don't want will happen, sweetheart," Sanji said quietly, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I just want to spend some time with you."

"Oh!" You suddenly looked relieved and Sanji's heart clenched. Were you really afraid that he would force you to do something you weren't comfortable with? "Sure Sanji, I would love that too."

He held your hand in his as you walked to his room. Only once you were inside and he had closed the door behind him, did he speak.

"Sweetheart," he called out when you had settled comfortably on his bed. You looked up at him curiously. "Is it okay if I ask you something?"

You were quiet for a second, not unlike how you got when the sexual tension between you would get high. You clearly knew what he was getting to. Sanji waited until you nodded to move in closer to sit across from you.

"I just want to put this on the table before I ask," Sanji searched your eyes for something. "This relationship will always go at your pace. I do not mind waiting as long as you need me to, or even forever, if that is what you want. But what I want is for you to be comfortable and open with me. To tell me if something is bothering you. To be vulnerable with me, because you trust me. Is that alright, my love?"

"Of course, Sanji," you inched closer to him, a hand reaching out to take his. He let you, and brushed his knuckles against the inside of your wrist, watching you squirm at how it tickled.

"Do you not want to have sex with me, sweetheart?" He asked clearly. You flinched at that, and he could see the torment you were facing bubble up to the surface. "It's alright, love. Just tell me what you really think. I understand if I'm not appealing in th–"

"No!" You interrupted, looking at him with a pout. "It's not that. God, Sanji, you drive me insane all the time. I would have to be blind to not appreciate your figure."

"Then is it something else?" He asked seriously, hand now coming up to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch, giving him a sad smile.

"Of course I want to… do it with you," you flushed, embarrassed at having to say that aloud. "I want it but… I don't want you to see me."

"You don't want me… to see you?" Sanji repeated, unsure of what you meant. Your hand came up to hold his where it rested on your cheek.

"I… have stretch marks," you looked embarrassed. "Maybe it's stupid to you– it probably is, but I know it's not what is considered appealing. I know I'm… not as slender as you might prefer, and I'm just… scared that you would look at me and feel disgusted. Feel like you made a mistake and break us off. I know!" You stressed it when Sanji looked like he was about to say something, "I know that you're kinder than that. But I don't want to lose you. I don't want to see you looking at me with disgust. I don't care about my stretch marks but when I think of you seeing them… I feel like I would rather die."

"Shh," Sanji shook his head, upset at your words. "What are you saying, my love? As if something like that is enough to shake my love for you. I can't even begin to tell you where my love for you begins or where it ends, because it's fathomless and so much that it scares even me. Any marks on your body are a part of you. I'm sure even they are as beautiful as the rest of you."

"Really?" Your voice was meek, wanting reassurance but also not wanting to be burdensome.

"Let me show it to you," he whispered, gently lowering you onto your back. The action made your shirt ride up a little, revealing the white and red marks. You squirmed and raised your head to see what Sanji planned to do.

A gasp left your lips when he placed a soft peck on one, marking the path to the next without lifting his lips. The action tickled you and a warmth pooled into your gut, along with the understanding that Sanji would never be disgusted by you or your marks. He would love every inch of you.

"They are like lightning," he whispered into your skin, warm breath fanning the cool surface, causing you to shiver. "Like pathways mapping the surface of the temple of the goddess I worship. Like waves crashing into the ocean, for me to appreciate, along with every part of you. I could never hate them, or you, sweetheart. Every part of you is meant to be worshipped, to be sung prai–"

"Alright," you choked, feeling overwhelmed. He kissed you in between as he spoke, careful never to move downwards or to make the act sexual. Every part of it felt like he was whispering and etching reminders of his love into your skin, like carefully tucked in notes in the folds of your flesh. "Sanji. Sanji, come up here."

He hovered above you for a few seconds, blue eyes misty with want before he gently lowered himself next to you on his bed. You swallowed the thick lump in your throat as you cupped his cheeks and took in every inch of his face, took in the blonde hair falling into his eye– and couldn't help but think.

"Heavens, I love you more and more each day, Sanji."

Think that contrary to what he believed, the lucky one was actually you.

[strawberrystepmom]

cw body image discussion. self ship coded. f!reader is feeling insecure and gojo is there to help work through the blues. he's mildly possessive and reader is really down on themselves. reader and gojo are in a semi established relationship (aka idiots in love). wc 1.6k

divider thanks to @/cafekitsune as always

The third time you pull a blouse over your head with a huff and toss it to the ground below your feet is when Satoru finally realizes that something is not right with you today. 

It wasn’t the instant frown upon waking up that alerted him, in fact that’s kind of just normal so he ignored it, but he has noticed you’ve been wound tight from the moment your eyes have opened. Your shoulders are hunched, he’s worried you’re going to give yourself a headache with all that scowling, your coffee sits on the nightstand getting cold while you glare at your reflection in the full length mirror against the wall.

Flipping onto his stomach and stretching horizontally across your bed, he appraises you where you stand. Even grouchier than usual, you’re dazzling. You’re wearing nothing but your least sexy nude colored bra and high waisted black trousers, bare feet stomping across the wooden floor as you rush back and forth from the closet back to the mirror.

He knows what’s happening and that he has never quite been good at stopping it but he wants to try, if only to make you smile at his failed attempt at comfort. You know him well enough to know that there’s meaning beneath his flippant words and veneer, something that saves him from a lot of trouble on any given day.

“Princess?”

His little nickname captures your attention and you shift from glancing in the mirror to him for just a moment, eyes narrowing slightly when you take in his relaxed posture. It must be nice to be him - ever the bored boy king watching the rest of us mortals folly. Raising your brows, you fold your arms over your chest defensively and stare at him.

He knows this defensive position better than anyone ever could. You’re internally wounding yourself and curling into your own torso, covering where it hurts the worst with your arms. Your heart breaks and he can see it on your face, eyes still narrowed and shoulders rounded forward. Trying to make yourself smaller, broken into pieces, something you feel will make you more palatable.

He hates it but he knows you don’t do it on purpose. You spend a lot of your time lifting others up and it’s easy to forget yourself in the fray. He sees it as his responsibility to step for you when you can’t do it for yourself and he cannot imagine allowing anyone else to ever do so.

He’s yours, in name, in body, in heart, and it’s his job to remind you of how perfect you are even when you forget. 

“C’mere,” he wags his head, motioning for you to join him on the bed while he pats the spot next to him. You sniff unenthusiastically and shuffle to the side of the bed, sitting and letting your legs hang off the edge of it. You don’t want to join him in his all too comfortable state but you realize quickly you are going to be left with no choice when he sets his head on your thigh and wraps his arms around your waist.

You feel yourself soften when you look down at him, all white lashes and big eyes and hair over his forehead as boyish as you remember it being when you were 16 and he was 17 and he laid his head in your lap just like this. It feels like a lifetime ago, years and tears that have passed, but part of you even knew then that it would end up just like this for the two of you despite the constant denial of those feelings. 

Even still, you deny his affection for you out of some strange attempt to hurt yourself rather than him. It makes no sense and you sigh. How anyone puts up with you is truly a mystery yet here the one person who puts up with you the most sits, cloudless sky eyes searching you for answers. He foolishly believes he may yet solve you someday.

Unfolding your arms, you reach out and pet the strands away from his face. Remembering you’re supposed to be having a fit, you frown and he smiles up at you. It feels like the sun moving in from around a cloud and you chuckle.

“You gonna make it?” He asks and you know what he means. 

What do you need from me? How can I make this better?

If asked, he’d swear you’re the only one who actually listens to what he’s saying instead of picking out what you want to hear. If someone were to ask you, you think you’d say the same about him. Nobody understands you the way he does, a fact you used to resent but now welcome with open arms. Isn’t the core of being loved just being understood at the end of the day?

You think for a moment before flopping backward on the bed, his head still in your lap and his arms still looped around your waist. Satoru shifts slightly, pulling one arm out from under you and using it to gently pet your cheek. 

“Probably not,” you finally respond and he looks across your body at your face and smiles, shaking his head and rubbing his freshly shaven cheek over your pants.

“I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m the butt of every joke,” you lament, gaze shifting directly to the ceiling to keep from looking at him while your eyes mist over with tears. Speaking the things you think about yourself only makes them feel more true but he doesn’t let you lament for long, unlooping his other arm from your waist and grabbing your hand.

He sits up and you look up at him. He looms the way a god does and he looks just like one, something that makes you rush to try and cover yourself up. It’s a pity he wastes his time with you, meant for something far better than hanging out with you. You feel a tear slide down your cheek and sniff, covering your face with your forearm.

“None of that is true and you know it.”

He remains hovering over you, backlit by the sunlight in your bedroom, but you refuse to look directly at him and settle for gazing through the tiniest crack in your vision that your forearm isn’t covering. 

“Everyone loves you so much it makes me feel jealous sometimes.”

Despite your sadness, you giggle. He’s so funny sometimes that you wonder if it’s intentional or not.

“There’s no reason to. People are just being nice.”

He scoffs and before you can blink, he’s on his knees and sliding his oversized form across the bed. Straddling your hips, settling either of his thighs on the side of yours, you groan and let your arm flop at your side. He isn’t putting his full weight on you but you sniff and make a face anyway. You’re still only partially dressed and he licks his lips at the sight, soft skin warmed by sunlight.

“Do you know how many threats I’ve had to make to keep people away from you?”

Shaking your head, hair dragging across the blanket beneath your body, you wonder if he means it. He has alluded to this exact scenario many times in jest but you always assumed it was just that - a joke. A little chuckle shared between the two of you.

“I’m not joking,” he replies seriously, eyes giving him away. “You’re not just liked you’re desired, pretty girl.”

Your cheeks heat and your belly stirs despite how the rest of you feels. Shifting your head so that you’re no longer looking at him, he reaches down and cups your cheek with the same gentleness he always does but guides your face back in his direction. His thumb caresses the soft round and you bite back another smile.

“I’ll keep doing it, too,” he mutters with a grin and a nod and you raise your brows. You don’t really care that other people desire you, knowing that the issue with how you feel lies solely within your own heart, but it’s nothing less than sexy that he insists on throwing his weight around in his longstanding mission to make you love him as much as he loves you.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers and you smile, leaning into his touch despite all of your previous attempts to shrug it off. “The smartest person I know, brave, dependable…”

He trails off and leans over you, stopping himself with his forearm on the bed and kisses your forehead. 

“I could go on forever but I don’t want to make you later than you’re already going to be after four outfit changes,” he offers and you laugh. A real one. The kind of laugh that makes a big smile stretch across your face and he places his thumb in the divot of your dimple as you do.

“You’re right.”

He beams, pressing his thumb so deeply you feel the inside of your cheek against your teeth. 

“Obviously.”

The rebuttal only makes you laugh harder and you kick your legs out beneath him, trying to shove him off of you.

“Get off, I’m gonna be late,” you warn and now he plants some of his weight over your hips, both big hands cupping your face as he repeatedly dots your face and cheeks with kisses.

“Nope, I’m gonna make you even more late and you’re just gonna have to live with it.”

And live with it you will as his lips travel from the round of your cheek and tip of your nose to your own lips, tongue brushing against the seam insistently.

[vaxieth]

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

[oldworldghost]

Are requests still open? If yes could we maybe see a jealous P please? Like he’s learning his emotions and he learns he doesn’t like jealousy or something

Jealous Pinocchio! ☆

↳ Hello nonnie! Requests are indeed still open, and I love jealousy prompts >:3 also sorry to everyone who has sent in a request that I haven't answered yet, I have been sick and busy, well, playing the game </3 Under the cut because this is a long boy

➸ Okay so jealousy with Pinocchio obviously depends, much like you said, on how human he is; how much he knows about not only his own emotions, but emotions in general. It's because of this that, at first, there really isn't a lot of instances of jealousy on his part, and what instances there may be are not going to be immediately recognisable as such. And of course this is due to the fact that Pinocchio just doesn’t have a good grasp on his own emotions initially; he knows he’s feeling something and that that something is almost unpleasant, he just doesn’t know what to do with it or even what to call it.

➸ The main way jealousy at first manifests with Pinocchio is a little off putting, almost. You could probably mistake it for a sort of increased protectiveness; when he sees you talking to someone he stands close, glares at the other person or just watches like a hawk for the duration of the conversation. He doesn’t say anything or really do anything and it gets a little creepy. Don’t get me wrong, Pinocchio doesn’t mean it in a bad way whatsoever – he just wants your attention – but to everyone else it looks like he’s waiting for whoever you’re talking to to suddenly attack or something. It’s his eyes that do it, they’re so dead that is just doesn’t inspire any form of ease when it happens. Luckily, these instances are rare and fairly easy to handle. Just give him your attention and he’ll relax. And of course, as he grows this habit of his simmers down and changes.

➸ [Honestly though this could be so funny too because like, despite the fact that it’s both unnerving and rare I imagine that everyone would eventually end up catching on to what’s happening and god they have a field day with it. Especially Venigni. He doesn’t mean any harm but seeing Pinocchio look like he’s going to combust on the spot is a little bit funny. Do the rest help enable Venigni and this habit? Maybe, maybe. Eugénie is the main co-conspirator here.]

➸ As Pinocchio changes and becomes more human he settles into his feelings more, he learns and grows to not only feel them but process and identify them. And this, of course, goes for jealousy as well. Through both his own experiences and talking with humans Pinocchio is able to realise that yeah, he’s felt jealousy. That that's what that uncomfortable tightness was. However what is most interesting is that the more human Pinocchio becomes the more jealous he finds himself getting, and on a more regular basis. A part of this is because there is an increasing depth to his character and emotions, so naturally they grow more intense, but the more important part is the growing cause of his jealousy; that being his nature as both puppet and human.

➸ Now I do believe that Pinocchio never had an inherent desire to be human, and that it was something he strove to become because he believed that his father would want him as one, and because as a “special puppet” it would only make sense for him to try and change his nature. And so what Pinocchio was or should be never quite bothered him at first - more just filled him with a sense of confusion – but as he grows more human the more he genuinely wants to be one, and your relationship with him plays a major part in that and his jealousy. You see, Pinocchio wants humanity so he can truly love you, but it is this growing humanity and desire that places the weight of what he really is on him; a puppet and as such not enough.

➸ It is jealousy born of insecurity, the more he tries to change the more his faults become apparent to him. His perceived inability to emote, to understand; the disconnect between himself and you, the gap that Pinocchio wonders if he will ever be able to truly close. He is worried, very much so, about being replaced or cast aside, because if the choice came up between himself and someone fully human, well, why on earth would you chose him? This insecurity is only heightened post game, where – and of course spoilers – Pinocchio has been betrayed by his own father, the person he thought loved him despite his being a puppet. I don’t want to build it up too much, but being told you’re only there to be replaced and that you’re not enough by someone who you trusted has to leave its mark, especially when you share memories with the person you were supposed to be only to realise that they were never enough either. Like, yeah. Ouch!

➸ Of course as Pinocchios’ emotions grow so do the rest of his abilities, including being able to tell what he truly does vs doesn’t like feeling. He could always kind of do it, but now he is able to fully articulate the why of it, and jealousy has landed itself into the category of “I Do Not Like This”. Now that itself is fairly obvious, no one likes being jealous, but the main reason its there for Pinocchio is because it makes him feel bad, almost guilty. To him jealousy indicates a lack of trust in partners, but the kicker is that he does trust you. Despite everything that’s happened Pinocchio places his full trust and faith in you day after day, or at least he thinks he does, and on top of that even if you did end up finding someone better and/or leaving he would have no right to stop you. If you wanted to it would break Pinocchios heart, but he would let go because he would hate to try and control you; to force you into something you don’t want to be in. And so not only does his own jealousy make him feel bad but it confuses him greatly, because Pinocchio knows that he can’t control you and that he can trust you, so why does he still get that sinking feeling when he sees you with someone else? [It’s the unresolved issues, but you didn’t hear that from me]

➸ On a lighter note though, while Pinocchios jealousy is heightened and most frequent post-game it will naturally simmer out, much like how the whole protective-jealousy phase did. That is not to say that it is a fast process, naturally it is slow and time consuming - and that in part is due to simply how many things there are to do now that his father and Simon are dead - but with the support of yourself and a few makeshift therapy session with Gemini and Sophia [i.e. literally just talking about what he’s feeling], it ends up being something that he can handle a fair bit better than before. Still a slow process, but manageable [also PAUSE imagine Gemini on a table and Pinocchio laying on a couch like they’re actually in a therapists office with Sophia taking notes].

➸ Anyway yes, the main thing that helps is through talking to you. It gets to a point – and rather quickly at that – where Pinocchio finds that he just really needs to tell you what he’s feeling. He feels bad about it, of course, but I think what he really needs to be told at first is that it’s just natural. People get jealous even if they don’t want to or mean to and sure maybe not like he does, but that is something that can be worked on. Pinocchio needs support in his own ways and for his own things, even if he might not necessarily want to admit it, but luckily Pinocchio can also a very transparent lover, especially after becoming human.

➸Okay to drag this whole thing on let’s back peddle a teeny bit. How jealousy manifests at the heightened point actually shares similarities with how it initially manifested. However instead of coming off as protective it very obviously comes off as jealousy mixed with something akin to fear, for reasons already discussed. He also develops the habit of just quite literally pulling you away from whoever you’re talking to and taking you somewhere else. Pinocchio does this under the guise of “I’m human now so I want to spend as much time with you as I can to bask in it” but it is very obviously just Not That. Or more not fully that, anyway. It does retain a little bit of the humour it originally had, and yes there’s still a little bit of poking fun and riling him up [especially from Venigni] but that is rare, mainly because it’s kind of also just sad that he feels the need to do it after everything they’ve all been through together. And Pinocchio knows rationally that none of them are going to try and “steal” you off him, for lack of a better word, but that rational thinking just doesn’t help much here. However this is also not the only habit that develops, sometimes Pinocchio will simply avoid you for a little, a sort of self pitying isolation mainly because he doesn’t want you to see him upset or jealous. None of the hotels residents know which one is worse to witness, honestly it might be a tie.

➸ Okay so on an actual actual lighter note [and because we cannot be here all day], once both Pinocchios’ relationship with his humanity is better his jealousy becomes something fairly rare, much like at the start. And by that point Pinocchio has also come to terms with it too, it’s a part of him he can accept and make peace with. After this, a lot of instances of it are just kind of cute. Like I will be absolutely real with you he is playing it up to get your attention; you’re getting puppy dog eyes, pouting, and in private Pinocchio’s going to go on some very light hearted spiel about how you no longer love him, all “woe is me” on you. As a human Pinocchio has grown a rather mischievous and sassy yet still gentlemanly personality and it so fucking shows here. A lot of these instances of jealousy are caused by, you guessed it, Pinocchio not getting enough attention, which is a little funny because by this point he’s very able to be alone by himself for a while. The other instances are people just getting too close [i.e. Venigni and Eugénie] or things of that ilk.

[spacecasehobbit]

Saltburn does have an important message that a lot of people seem to miss, which is that having sympathetic motivations or a sympathetic backstory doesn't actually negate cruelty or make it right to make other people bear the burden of your own insecurity and pain.

Oliver is a deeply sympathetic character, in that he's awkward and lonely and gets preyed on by a manipulative rich boy who likes to feel like a savior of friendless losers that he eventually gets bored of. Yet Oliver winds up dealing with this by climbing his way to the top of a pile of awful people, resorting to all their worst behaviors to get himself there, and the harm he causes is wrong regardless of the sympathy of his starting circumstances.

Similarly, Farleigh and Venetia are sympathetic characters who take out their own pain on other people (primarily on Oliver, during the movie).

Farleigh is the half black son of Sir James's wayward sister, both a part of the family and yet also treated like this definitely racist family's longest running charity project at the same time. He's constantly performing for his racist family, constantly feeling like an outsider in his own family, never quite as 'good' as them, never quite as 'worthy'. This does make him a deeply sympathetic character, but it doesn't make him any less of a bully towards Oliver (and, likely, other people we don't see on screen, since it's Oliver's story we're watching). He is deeply yet casually cruel towards total strangers, as a way of covering up for his own insecurities over the way he's treated by the Cattons. He's sympathetic, but he still causes harm in a way that isn't excused by being sympathetic.

Venetia, too, seems to have a very sympathetic background, from what little we see of her. She has a mother who gossips about her eating disorder and low self-esteem to relative strangers. Felix finds it completely believable that she would be wandering around drunk at night trying to kiss his friends, and he only thinks it makes her embarrassing, with no indication that this behavior should actually be worrying, if it had been true. She also doesn't seem to do anything with her life except hang out in her home developing drinking problems. She also hits on her brother's friends even while knowing that he will cut them off as friends if they sleep with her, and she responds to her own pain or rejection by lashing out with cruelty in return. Both times she feels hurt - whether by Oliver directly, when he picks Felix over her, or because she is grieving and Oliver is simply an easy target for her pain - she takes out her own hurt on Oliver by trying to make him feel small and hurt instead. It's sympathetic, sure, but it's not actually okay, either. It's sympathetic, but it's still cruelty for the sake of cruelty, and it's still wrong.

One moral of Saltburn is that returning cruelty with cruelty, whether it's revenge or cruelty turned on random strangers to assuage one's own pain, leads only to more hurt and pain and suffering.

One message of Saltburn that I'd argue is very important is that a person can be sympathetic and also still be wrong.

[shadowsandshapes]

A Terrifying Sort of Realization (Dabi/GN!Reader)

◇ summary: Dabi and yourself share one vulnerability: each other. ◇ rated: General◇ contains: Fluff? Fluff. Comfort. FEELINGS and insecurities. ◇ wc: [500 words]

Moments like these were rare.

In fact, you didn’t quite believe it was real. Your fingers brushed through Dabi’s hair – his head resting in your lap. He was sprawled out on the couch, draped against you with his eyes closed and arms tightly wrapped around your waist. A soft, content groan escaped him as he nestled his face against your plush thighs. For once in his life, he looked at peace. No chaos or earth-shattering plans for vengeance in sight. Just the calm and quiet of contentedness. It certainly helped that the safehouse was abandoned tonight. Dabi would never allow himself to be this vulnerable with the others around. The fact that he trusted you this much was…terrifying.

Your fingers threaded through his locks, scratching his scalp with your nails ever so slightly. He shivered and tightened his grip on you. When was the last time anyone how been gentle with Dabi, you wondered. “Hey easy–” you warned, feeling him squeeze down. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re damn right,” he said, the sound of his voice muffled against the top of your legs. “Mine.” The word just barely reached your ears. Mine. A statement. You glanced down, looking directly into his bright blue eyes. He was staring at you. Quietly. Goddamnit you were hopelessly in love with this man. You'd do anything for him. Fuck – this wasn’t healthy, was it?

Yeah. No fucking shit.

Dabi had noticed the shift in your demeanor and turned over, lying on his back. “You scared?” he asked, masking the fear of rejection bubbling in his stomach with a smirk. What was he going to do if you didn’t want him – how badly would it hurt? Part of him already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it: have you call him a creep, a monster, and move on. Trample all over his heart and shatter it. That way he would finally be able to focus on his goals again.

You fell silent for a moment. Before Dabi – before all of this, nothing could have hurt you. Now, you weren't so sure you were invincible anymore. When you finally answered, your voice was certain and firm: “I am, yeah.”

Dabi laughed but there was no joy to the sound. He didn’t expect you to admit it – then again, he did like you for the blunt, opinionated ass you were. It felt like a punch to the gut though. He took it like a champ, shrugging off the impending heartache. “Of me?”

The question hung in the air. He could see you thinking, your eyes shifting as you searched for an answer. This was fucking excruciating. Just tell me you hate me so I can hate you back. Dabi couldn’t help himself – he needed to touch you and reached up to cup your cheek. Why didn't you flinch?

After a moment of contemplation, you let out a sigh as your fingers brushed the hair from his eyes. “Not you, as a person,” you admitted. Your smile made Dabi’s fingers twitch. It was so genuine and sad. He hated it. You were supposed to reject him. This didn’t feel like a rejection – this was – “I’m afraid of what you mean to me…” Oh.

Now that brand of terror Dabi understood only too well.

“Yeah – me too.”

A/N: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFT. I had to write something wholesome today, man. I blame all the cute asks in @dabislittlemouse 's inbox. Speaking of which, hope you don't mind the tag.

[Masterlist]

[greeneywa]

Ao'nung dating deaf and mute reader part 2

In private...

He is not that touch-starved but yk he still clingy asf you are just not allowed to not be in his arms also HE IS INTO NECK KISSES LIKE FR MA BOI IS A SUCKER FOR YOU TRHOAT AND NECK!!! Also he is not shy around his parent he can and he will kiss you infront of them he won't go extra yk but still he is not afraid to lovingly kiss you while you visit him at his parents marui and to be honest his parent dont care as long as yk y'all are not doing the "extra" y'all even got your own kiss language yes kiss language for when y'all are being intimate (if y'all want I'll explain this later in a nsfw part 3)

Only 6 person I've seen him being touchy and affectionate toward you and they are his parents,your parents, tsireya and rotxo

Jealousy

He is def not jealous like come on he is the chief's son the most handsome and skilled metkayina boy on his island and lets be honest he had his fair share of girls before you so he is not jealous or insecure quite the opposite if you cheat on him you are the one who is loosing...to be honest you are the one who get jealous because he is not cold toward other girls like he don't flirt with them, but he talk nicely , he smile,he even compliment since you can't ear you don't know what is he saying but sometimes you do sign to him

"What do she want ?" And he'll be like "just to know if I can give some hunting lessons to her younger brothers" he sign back and it was true," why did you speak so nicely to her?" You sign "im just polite" he sign..

You were pissed and he knew it so he did what work best to get you back in the mood ......

SEA SHELL PICKING DATE!!!!

(Traduction: you running around the beach looking for pretty Sea shell while dragging him he love seeing you happy and being bubbly sometimes you'll catch him stare at you in awe and when you sign to him "What wrong ?" He sign back "nothing to worry about princess " then you smiled at him and he kissed your forehead before tangling your hands together and keep on walking around the beach)

His family

Tsireya is your number one shipper and fan she always knew her bug bro have a sweet spot for you

Tonowari is supportive after all you Are the daughter of Toruk Makto and a good influence for him

Ronal was not having it and she still struggle a bit but since she is the only with Neytiri that is against it she shut her mouth and just sulk in a corner

Your family

Jake was just like tonowari (also it's a good opportunity yk)

Neytiri couldn't believe her ears...her precious little baby with this ugly,stkinky,humpy dumpy looking fish!!!

But since you are happy..she stay silent

Neteyam Accept it but he keep an eye on Ao'nung He still don't fully trust him

Lo'ak was about to complain then he remember that he have tsireya so yeah he keep quiet.Kiri was disappointed...just that....disappointed in you lack of taste (also because she hate him)

Tuk was shocked but she quickly shrugged it off

Argument

Y'all never argue,cause Ao'nung is in fact very mature he knows when he fucked up something so when there is some kind of disagreement y'all always "talk" it out and it works y'all have hardly ever argue..and when it happens Ao'nung know that he can be pretty mean and say pretty hurtful things so when he is mad at you he walk away it's actually very easy to get on his nerves he get mad very quickly so if one day you see him walking away alone one the beach dont follow him dont play the " I'm the only one who can calm him" cause he will shamelessly snap at you or anyone

Tag list : @inutheangel @o0z3jk @anoungstsahik @tinkerbelle05 @elegantkidfansoul

[creativity-deficient]

So, in defense of Stanford Pines

As the gravity falls fan in me has awakened once again per the release of the Book of Bill, I wanted to write a quick character analysis/essay on one of my two favorite characters in the series, Stanford Pines.

Now it’s important to note that Ford is in fact, a very flawed character, and this essay is in NO means meant to downplay that. He’s absolutely an egotistical asshole who was way too in his own head and focused on the end goal to fully appreciate the people and things he has around him, which ultimately ended up playing a huge part in his downfall.

However I do want to talk a little bit more about his side of things, as this is something I feel like isn’t quite done enough justice in the series, making it easy to just see him as a jerk or take Stan’s side in the fight between them, and has always been something I’ve really appreciated about both Journal 3 and now, the book of bill, both providing a new perspective on his character and exactly WHY he turned out the way he did.

I want to start from the beginning, by delving a bit into Ford’s childhood.

It’s a common misconception in the fandom that Ford had a good relationship with his father. He was the loved child, while Stanley was the unloved child. Now there’s no denying that Stan’s relationship with his father was…considerably worse, but with how deep Ford’s own insecurities and his obsession to “be the best” lie, I find it very hard to believe that his own relationship with his father was a healthy one either.

Filbrick was considered a VERY strict man, who was not easily impressed, making it very likely that Ford was either groomed into thinking, or at least at some point convinced himself that his smarts were the only worthwhile thing about him, especially since he pretty much already felt like a freak because of his fingers.

It’s even mentioned in the book of bill that his father wouldn’t want him returning home without millions. I mean, does that SOUND like a loving father to you?

And that brings me to his falling out with Stan. Yeah, EXTREMELY dick move to let your father kick out your teenage twin brother over some dumb mistake, however, it’s always felt a bit weird to me, like there was much more going on then just “you destroyed my project I’m throwing out our entire brotherly bond we spent the last 17-18 years building fuck you” because let’s face it, huh??? Kicking your own TWIN BROTHER, who you have been best friends with all your life, to the curb for some dumb school you literally learned about DAYS ago was something that never made sense to me, and I always struggled to understand why and how it even had to come to that.

But, let’s look it at this way. To Ford, Stan was the only person he had. They were the only people each other had, the only people that truly got each other. Ford considered Stan the only person he could trust at that point in time, this only person who wouldn’t treat him differently than others. And what does that person do? Completely betray that trust and destroy his project. Yes, we know that it was an accident, but Ford didn’t. Was he wrong to automatically assume that Stan did it on purpose instead of just, you know, talking it out? Oh absolutely, but we already established that he clearly doesn’t have healthy coping mechanisms, and all things considered, I don’t think Stan really helped his case when it came to proving his innocence, as both before and even after the confrontation, all he can seemingly think about is their boat. All things considered, I can’t completely blame Ford for thinking it was an act of betrayal. Does that completely justify his response? Oh absolutely not. But I DO think the situation goes a bit deeper than people assume.

Then we have his time in gravity falls. It’s hinted at a bunch throughout the series, journal 3, and the book of bill that Ford, despite his anger, truly missed his brother, and regretted his actions towards him (the swingset and stan o war in his dreamscape, holding on to that photo of him and Stan as kids all those years, not being able to think back on his childhood at glass shard beach without growing sad, etc).

“Well, why didn’t he just contact him then???”

Well, to be fair, he kind of had a lot going on, and by a lot, of course, I mean Bill.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the relationship between Ford and Bill was EXTREMELY toxic. Bill, doing what Bill does best, leeched onto Ford’s already deeply set insecurities to led him into a false sense of security, one where bill and ONLY bill truly understood him, and that everyone else was out to get him and couldn’t see his true potential, effectively isolating him from his friends, family, and even society.

Ford went through HELL in this period of time. He was left alone by bill for long periods of time until he was desperate and dependent enough to lash out. He was gaslit and manipulated into pushing the people he cared about away. When he decided he wasn’t going to do bill’s bidding, he was literally TORMENTED for it. In all fairness, I don’t really think he was in the right mindset for ANYTHING during that time, losing himself in BOTH his own stubbornness and this endless cycle of abuse.

Despite this though, despite ALL of this, all the manipulation, their falling out, etc, Stan was still the ONLY person (apart from Fiddleford) Ford thought of to take the Journals, the only person he considered to be trustworthy. Yes it was petty of him to bring up the project yet AGAIN (let it go my dude), but I do think it is important to acknowledge that he still thought of Stan pretty highly at the time, or else that wouldn’t have been the case.

“Oh but Alex he told Stan to get away from him yadayada!!!” Uh, no he didn’t. He just told him to hide the journals, not that he couldn’t come back afterwards, that was just Stan assuming the worst.

On that note, I do think it’s important to also acknowledge that while Stan is definitely, in the eyes of a lot of people as well as myself, the more sympathetic of the two, he’s definitely made his fair share of mistakes as well. I don’t think there’s really truly a right or a wrong in this argument, I think instead both of them are two very complex characters who had both been through a lot at that point, and both have made their mistakes (even if Stan’s were a bit more justified in most cases)

Then of course, he gets pushed through the portal, and spends the next 30 years between dimensions.

Now for anyone who hasn’t read journal 3 (spoilers ig? The book is pretty old atp but I figured I’d give one anyways) Ford is basically told by an oracle that he “has the face of someone who is destined to defeat bill” (a lot of people call him egotistical for assuming the oracle was talking about him and not his brother, but I digress. If an oracle looked YOU deep into your eyes and told you you had the face of someone destined to save the universe, be honest, would YOU think they were talking about your sibling??) Ford then proceeds to spend the next 30 years building a weapon to effectively defeat bill, and just as he’s about to finally use it, he’s sucked (not literally) back into gravity falls, not ONLY effectively erasing all of his hard work and progress, but risking weirdmaggedon in the first place. On TOP of it all, he also learns that Stan has been using his name all these years, and that he now has a pretty extensive criminal record.

Yes, Stan did it all in his best interest, and Ford could’ve absolutely shown more appreciation, but all things considered, I’d be pretty pissed off too.

But, all things considered, at the end of it all Ford still has those he hold close to his heart. He missed Stan all those years, considered Fiddleford a true friend and was super appreciative to have him there while they worked on the project together, he’s joyous to find out he has a niece and nephew, etc, and when he realizes he’s hurt these people, namely his brother and former lab partner, he feels immense guilt, and does everything he can to atone to it.

I truly think Stanford’s character development is one of the best in the series, as he finally learns to appreciate what he has instead of trying to chase down an unachievable end goal, and it’s definitely something that I feel goes unnoticed in the grand scheme of things when it comes to his character.

Now, what was the point of this 1 am ramble?? The point was the highlight the wonderful complexity of Stanford Pines’s character. Yes he was an extremely flawed man. Someone who pushed away those he loved him pursuit of greater things, and let his own pride be the fall of him. However, at the same time, he’s also a man who bears a lot of scars, both metaphorical and literal, and an extremely complex character who deserves a lot more than to be characterized as this “cold, uncaring asshole” something I’ve seen WAY too much of. I feel like it’s important to acknowledge that he’s made mistakes while also recognizing the complexity of a lot of it too, as well as acknowledging that he did indeed, learn from those mistakes.

[shockinglyangel]

NSFW ALPHABET - BLAISE ZABINI

MATURE

NOT PROOFREAD

MY HEADCANNONS

A = Aftercare: Blaise was brought up by a single mother who never let her value be determined by a man, and she absolutely, definitely taught her son how to view women as a proud feminist. I would not be surprised if she sat him down and had that awkward conversation about sex and aftercare while poor Blaise had his hands on his face telling her to stop. The point is, he certainly knows how to treat a woman since his mother, and for that reason he's an absolute king at aftercare, he's extremely responsive and caring and would definitely give his tips and tricks to the boys if they asked.

B = Body part: He really likes his jawline, he's constantly mewing to keep his jaw as sharp as possible. I don't think Blaise would really care too much about his girlfriends body, but I think he would really enjoy if she had a nice ass and big thighs, I also feel as though he would place his hands on your love handles if you have them.

C = Cum: He's got a lot of it, it's quite a reward to make him cum, it's not as easy as you would think and I believe he'd really need to be in the moment to finish, but when he does, it's a lot. He would enjoy finishing on your boobs and back, especially if you have a back tattoo omg. He would also put your orgasm above his and would work for it if he really needs to.

D = Dirty Secret: lowkey wants to get caught, there's something so hot to him about someone walking in and seeing how well you guys make each other feel, especially if you're a very wanted or popular person, he'd totally love if someone walked in on you two and told everyone around the school what they'd seen, he'd feel very accomplished.

E = Experience: Blaise is no stranger to sex, he's definitely had a fair few hookups but they've always been very emotionless and never had any strings attached, a few people would be a little intimidated by how many people Blaise has slept with and if you're not the most experienced you may feel embarrassed, but he'd definitely help you learn what to do and make sure you know all the other people where just one time things and he only feels romantically about you.

F = Favourite Position: He's a doggy guy but specifically with your back arched and head to the sheets, he loves to see the curve in your back and often runs his hands up your spine, he also loves to be able to have your ass in his face and feels that doggy gives him the deepest thrusts. Slipping off the idea that he likes your ass in his face, he's a fan of reversed cowgirl, it's the position you guys would end up with after a long session, his legs bent up so you can lean on them as you ride him, his hands on your waist guiding you to your final orgasm. If he's in need of any reassurance, he needs to see your face though, eye contact is a must when he needs to know that you want to be with him, because honestly he does feel insecure sometimes since his friends are quite wanted and he's almost looked over, so give him that eye contact and loving sex to help those doubts leave his mind.

G = Goofy: You guys will be joking around the first second while making out as you enter his room, but as soon as you close the door, his entire demeanour changes and it's business time, he's a very serious guy when it comes to sex, he lowkey gives me capricorn energy when having sex, he does it for the accomplishment (kinda like Tom) but he strives towards making you finish.

H = Hair: He's so well shaven, he definitely spends hours making sure he gets every hair and doesn't hurt himself in the process, I think he would expect you to be shaved too as he is, but if you weren't, he wouldn't really mind.

I = Intimacy: He can be romantic, but when he's focused on the pleasure you and him are both receiving he's not really paying much attention to the making love aspect, he's just trying to get you both off in the best way possible. When he is romantic he goes all out, rose petals on the bed, candles all lit, a dim room with classical music in the back, this man is full of tricks and surprises, but he's more into pleasing you than flashing you with romantic gestures

J = Jack Off: He has a good amount of self control so he doesn't do it too often, he's a pro at hiding his boners so he doesn't really think to fix the issue until you're around. But if he's really desperate and you're not there he'll get himself off to a picture of you he keeps on his bedside table.

K = Kink: My man has a muffle kink, he loves going so hard that you're screaming, telling you to shut up and placing a hand over your mouth and then upping the pace and deepness, your sounds stroke his ego.

L = Location: Upright in the astronomy tower, on a table in an empty classroom, under a blanket in the common room late at night, this guy will do it anywhere and everywhere even if it's in a public place at risk of getting caught cus the rebellion turns him on.

M = Motivation: Again he's turned on by risk of getting caught so he'll slip his hand on your upper thigh and maybe even do stuff with you while you're in class, he knows he won't get caught but he enjoys the fantasy of it. If you wear anything short that shows your ass his pp is up and you have something to fix.

N = NO: Food and drink implemented into sex, Blaise has an issue with textures on his body, so don't be trying to squeeze cream on him, he might just get up and leave and drown himself in a boiling shower.

O = Oral: Loves receiving, loves giving. He enjoys watching the pleasure it gives you and giving him a blowy is the easiest way to make him finish, he'd totally demand that for a quickie.

P = Pace: Too fast dawg, you're gonna be all smushed into the sheets after it, your hair is going to be a mess and your brain is going to be foggy, but God is it good.

Q = Quickie: Quickies are quite common for you two as he enjoys risky places which obviously you have to be pretty speedy with to ensure no one finds you, but he does enjoy the aspect of spending hours with you under the sheet just doing your own thing, but a slow and sensual time is less common with him.

R = Risk: Enough said, he's a risky boy

S = Stamina: Days, weeks, months, years. This man is a sex machine, if you ask him to go for a couple of hours he totally will, he will spend the entire day pleasing you if you asked him to, he never wants the sex to end.

T = Toy: He's not all too keen on you using them on him, I feel as though he would do it if you wanted to but only a few things like cock rings or a flesh light, he would never let you peg him or use a vibrator on him, he on the other hand enjoys overstimulating you so toys are his best friend in the bedroom.

U = Unfair: A lot, he'll go until you're begging him to stop, prone to edging you, sometimes he'll even whisper something abhorrently dirty in your ear and then walk away, denying you what you need for hours until finally having his way with you.

V = Volume: He's not that loud, he'd grunt here and there but he's mainly dirty talking you or talking you through it, not really a moaner though.

W = Wild Card: He's had a threesome before with two other girls, they spent their entire time focusing on him. It was with two girls the boys kept constantly joking about him liking, but when he got with them both he refused to tell the boys what had happened, lying and saying it was just a study session, you're the only one he'd tell about this.

X = X-Ray: BIG BIG BIG, LIKE REALLY BIG, when he didn't really know how to utilise his weapon he accidentally injured a girl and had to stay over night at the infirmary with her, hoping no one asked what happened, but now he's much better and understands his limit. He does make small penis jokes with his friends, which is funny cus they truly believe he's not all that big, but out of all the boys, he's the biggest, and the best at using it - sorry not sorry.

Y = Yearning: Good with self control but constantly horny, he would never let anyone know though.

Z = ZZZ: Sex rejuvenates him, don't be surprised if this man is skipping around the dorm shirtless singing songs and making himself a sandwich, that's how you know you're good.

[deathsbestgirl]

In my mind, I've always considered Scully to have a difficult relationship with desire. She feels it--deeply, intensely--but she feels it's too revealing to own up to. The greater she desires someone, the harder it is to confess to this out loud/publicly. It feels incredibly intimate, almost too exposing to bear. What are your thoughts on this? How would you describe her relationship with desire?

ohhh! i love this question, it's something i think about a lot. i don't think i quite have a clear cut answer. i agree completely with what you say. scully feels very deeply and that definitely extends to desire and love, which is something i have a hard time integrating with her religion.

scully believes in god but she drifts from it & the church throughout the series and goes back to it, it's a pretty consistent thing she experiences. and something i've always loved about her faith is how private & personal it is to her. she wears her cross because maggie gave it to her. sometimes i think of it as something she bears. but she does believe, it's just still hard for her.

now, i'm not religious, i didn't grow up religious. but my wife did and so did one of my friends. and their experiences are wildly different. there are some sects where you do not question god, the bible, the church. but there are others where they encourage, to really learn it & understand it and build a relationship with god (to my very small understanding??) and i imagine scully was allowed to question. she talks about prayer as a conversation with god, and just. the way she lives i don't think her belief of/in god aligns with the church and is part of her drifting from the church and fighting it at different points. (all this basically to say, i don't think she sees any of it as sin or against her beliefs/religion.)

and openly expressing it, i feel a lot of it is tied to knowing where the other person stands and her insecurities. like she can show mulder such love & care in specific ways (the doctoring, the support she gives him in demons, etc) and even ask him to get out of the car (their odd little communications lol) but taking the leap? it scares her. giving herself completely is terrifying to her, especially when she's already given so much of herself. i think it's actually very consuming to her and the breadth of it is what scares her, what she's capable of.

like the closest she gets with mulder is detour and he ran, and she never does something so overt again. but with jerse, she didn't have a problem. she wasn't looking for something lasting. there was desire, and rebellion. but not love, not something deep or life changing. even with daniel, she might have been able to fall back into something with him but ... that would have been "easy" and scully doesn't choose the easy thing. she chooses mulder and the x files every time. her experience with daniel in all things is what helps her come to terms with her choices & desires.

i always come back to scully's "always the strong one" and she hides her vulnerability. i think of mulder as her conduit for vulnerability & compassion. because she cares as much as he does but she keeps it locked up, private as much as she possibly can. she loves her family but she doesn't confide in them about big important things (mulder is the one who calls maggie when she has cancer & decides to get treatment, wetwired was an anomaly of her extreme paranoia toward mulder aka the only person she trusts).

so i just find it very hard to unravel with scully. it's something so layered and kind of contradictory. but it's also so clearly intense & deep. when they're finally together and mulder is abducted, the depth of her pain can't be hidden. she rails at doggett but sobs in his arms. skinner feels incredible guilt for having lost mulder, cries when he tells scully, fights for what he knows to be the truth and scully pulls him back just by gently touching his arm. in season nine, she writes with such beautiful heartfelt intensity, no one has any doubt of what mulder is to her. she reaches a point that it doesn't matter what people know or don't know, she can no longer contain it in that tiny body of hers. after all things (and even before that, in smaller but still very noticeable ways) it pours out of her.

and actually, this made me think about emily. when she talks about holding people at a distance because she is so aware of death & loss that connection almost seems fruitless. i think we talk a lot about how mulder can't lose scully, but it's equally true for scully. the idea of loving him completely and losing him crushes her. and we get to see her without him in s8&9 and she really is barely holding it together. i genuinely think the only thing that kept her going was william and the minuscule possibility that he would come back. be returned to her like she was to him. she had to believe that would happen because the alternative was too scary to believe. and then she still had to go through his death. she had to bury him while carrying his child. (and she already had gotten a taste of losing him in field trip, and she completely lost it in her hallucinations too, before they were ever "really" together.)

i don't know what exactly i mean by all of this. but i don't think it's desire she really struggles with, i think it's her intensity. the lengths she'll go to because of it. what she's capable of because of it. the possibility of loss she can't bear and doesn't want to burden someone else with either. but it's something she can't walk away from, can't abandon when it's expressed to her or it's her "only" chance.

[lightofraye]

An Open Letter

Hello Danneel,

I suppose it had to happen, right? A “letter” to you. After all, I’ve written two to your husband. I had been pondering this for some time. I imagine your “stans” believe that I dislike you because you’re in a position that I wish to be in—the woman married to Jensen Ackles.

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

See… when my life became chaotic and I lost track of a number of my favorite celebrities’ work and career, I became unaware that Jensen moved onto different shows, eventually settling in Supernatural for fifteen years.

By the time my life arranged itself in a way that I could begin to track down information—some easy to find, some next to impossible—I learned of the tail end of Supernatural. However, my provider was being ornery and refused to carry CW. So I just let it go.

My family, my life, was my primary focus for a time. Then I found a good internet provider, dropped my satellite provider, and began adding streamers. That’s when I came across The Boys. Then Big Sky. Then Supernatural on Netflix.

I became a new-old fan. I remembered Jensen on Days of Our Lives, after all. I remembered talking about him with one of my best friends. I remember talking about his unusual name—Jensen. And I remember talking about his acting.

Then I saw you. Longtime married, three kids. All the news articles kept raving about how great you two were. I saw the older videos of you two together, that livestream with Misha in the Impala….

I felt the sting, just a bit, of what I assumed was jealousy. I sighed, set it aside. I would follow Jensen’s work, I told myself. Jared’s too. Others that I admired. Just added to the list.

Something kept bothering me. I kept going back to it. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the problem. Mere jealousy couldn’t be it. I’ve had that sting before, grew past it. (Henry Cavill, anyone?) So why couldn’t I get past this?

It was pure happenstance, me coming to Tumblr. I was feeling very dissatisfied with Facebook, didn’t like Twitter. Reddit was not my thing. There were other, smaller, options, but damn if I didn’t keep coming back to Tumblr, largely because of the hilarious memes I’d see snipped and shared.

Why not? I told myself.

Let’s see how it goes. Signed up, picked a few areas of interest and I was off.

Boy, was I off.

Discovering the subsections of the fandom left me reeling. Destiel? Where the hell did they come up with that? Wincest? Yikes. And then—

Tinhat?!

COCKLES?!

Needless to say, it was… phew. I found a few I liked and focused on them. Then someone mentioned YOU. I rolled my eyes; you hadn’t been active in acting other than a few teeny-tiny but parts. What could they possibly say about YOU?

Then I read the post. And another. And another. I would spent a good few weeks carefully devouring everything I read. There’s so much, I may never cover it all. But I saw enough.

I would fact-check as best I could. Some were completely lost. The Wayback Machine could only do so much. Not everyone saved the sources. 

But I saw enough.

Then I sat back and it CLICKED. It wasn’t jealousy that waved hello to me. It was the personality traits, the behavior, the way you spoke to him, that all matched what I knew and learned in my several decades of life.

You are insecure.

You lack confidence.

You lack any outside interests.

You are unsupportive.

You care for nothing and no one outside of money. Oh, you have your children—you just don’t care about them. You have your husband—all you see are dollar signs.

There is no love. There is nothing genuinely GOOD in how you view Jensen. You don’t want him home; you push him out. All you want is the constant stream of income.

I see what you’ve done. All the acting in the world wouldn’t change the rest—you’ve an empty heart, a black soul.

Let him go, Danneel.

That’s my best advice to you. Let him go. Get some therapy and grow as a person.

Maybe then you could actually like the person you see the mirror.

In discordant tunes, Raye

[tsumtsumrry]

She

(2.1k words, light light smut (kinda in the middle? end?; lots a fluff like i can’t stress that enough.)

the one where we dream with harry

Harry is a dreamer. 

His dreams are the drive of his life, his passion is derived from his dreams. He wouldn’t be where he is without his dreams, after all. 

You can interpret dreams as visions you see when you fall asleep or aspirations you hope to achieve in the future, lives you want to live. 

Harry sees his dreams as both. 

Harry has plenty of dreams. Some good, some bad. But his favorite dreams are when he gets to see her. She. 

The drive of his life, where his passion is derived from. He wouldn’t be where he is without her.

Some people may say it’s foolish to be so codependent on a dream, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. As long as he keeps seeing her when he closes his eyes, he’s at peace. 

He imagines the color of her skin, the smoothness of her body, the volume of her hair, the sound of her voice. Every day he imagines it all. Every day he dreams about it. 

Harry is a bit of a sap, he likes to associate songs and emotions with people. The song that he thinks embodies her, is Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. 

Elvis is one of his biggest inspirations and sometimes he jokes to himself that Elvis wrote the song for Harry and her. 

Can’t Help Falling In Love is a perfect song to describe how he feels about her. Because he really couldn’t help falling in love. Madly in love. 

She’s always in his thoughts. Roaming around in his brain like a butterfly. Every time she flaps her beautiful wings he feels a jolt in his heart. He even got a tattoo to represent her. Right on his stomach. A beautiful butterfly. 

He chose his stomach because of the intense feeling he gets in his stomach whenever she’s around. That feeling that makes you feel like you’re about to puke but it’s so addicting that you want to feel it all the time. He associates that feeling with her. He’s never really gotten it with anyone else. 

Of course he’s had crushes and relationships, but no one compares to her. 

So many of his fans wonder when he’s going to settle down and marry the person of his dreams, but he can’t marry someone knowing he’s in love with the voice in his head, knowing that she might be out there somewhere. 

The nights where he doesn’t have dreams with her in it are quite painful, but she always makes sure to be there for him when he’s had a particularly bad day. 

As soon as he closes his eyes she comforts him and makes him feel safe and at home.

“You ok, baby?” she asked, combing her soft hands through his hair. 

He shook his head no and frowned, “had a bad day, wasn’t getting anything done with the album. S’all going to shit.” 

She pouted at him and he tried his best to fight the urge of bursting into tears. “I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong? I feel like it should be easy by now, yeah?” he mumbles and she takes his head in her grasp and tries to attain eye contact with him. 

“Making an entire album is never going to be easy, honey. You’re way too hard on yourself. You need to stop worrying about what everybody else thinks. Make the album you want. I support you and believe in you, so does everybody else. Use that as your motivation.” 

And he did. He wrote an entire album the way he wanted. And he was so fucking grateful for it in the long run. Yes, he still played it safe in some parts, his insecurities disallowing him to do anything other than that, but he did it in the end. 

And boy was she proud. 

Every day after the album dropped she was in his dreams, praising him and loving him. Giving him reward after reward for being “so good”. He never felt as loved before than in those moments. 

Having her in his head used to be enough. It was like an escape from the real world, a safe haven. But he’s starting to want more. He wants to hold her and feel her heavenly skin beneath his finger-tips. There’s nothing he wants more than to just feel her. 

He’s prayed every day to anyone available that he can just meet her. Once. Once is all he wants, he just wants to see her, even if it’s only one time. 

“What are you watching, angel?” he murmured to her, just getting familiar with the fact that he was in a dream with her. 

“Just one of your performances.” she mumbled back to him, highly engrossed in what was flashing on the TV. 

Harry looked with her and watched himself perform Sign Of The Times. He cringed in some parts when he felt he didn’t do as well, but overall he loved that performance, the energy was amazing. 

“I think this is my favorite one.” she said, turning her head to give him a quick peck on the cheek. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. You sound so good and you look so handsome.” she said with a loving smirk. 

Harry felt that familiar warmth in his chest and stomach and god he couldn’t get enough. 

“Kiss me.” he whispered. She wasted no time connecting their lips. Harry felt warm all over, he moaned at the feeling of her lips alone and she pulled back to peck his lips once more and let out a melodic giggle. 

“S’kinda weird to be making out to my song innit?” He snorted out a laugh and she took a pillow from behind her and smacked him lightly with it. 

He leaned forward again and gave her a slow passionate kiss. Innocent, but still passionate

“I love you, my angel.” he whispered against her lips and she smiles brightly. 

“I love you, Harry.” 

He still remembers the times where she just showed up. It didn’t matter what kind of day he had. He rationalized it as her just wanting to be close to him. (He likes to think of her as having her own conscious and feelings.)

One of his favorite times was the first time he told her he loved her. 

They were sitting on the couch, tangled up in each other. Harry’s fingers were drawing meticulous shapes onto any exposed part of her skin he could find. She would giggle every so often and tell him it tickled, but he would just smile and wordlessly kiss her shoulder. 

He was spelling words out on her for what felt like hours. And he was hoping she’d realize what he was trying to say.  

“Harry?” 

“Hmm?” he hummed, still focused on drawing heartfelt words and hearts on her skin. 

“I...um...you-” she stuttered. She knew exactly what he was writing after he repeated it at least fifteen times, she just didn’t know what to say. 

“Yeah, baby?” He said, urging her to continue. 

She looked over her shoulder and Harry gave her a small smile with a quick quirk of his eyebrow. She found herself staring at his face with some much intensity, so much infatuation, so much….love. 

“What you were writing….” she said softly, having trouble finding her voice. 

Harry tilted his head slightly as if to ask her to continue and she swallows hard. “You were writing ‘I love you’.” 

Harry’s heart jumped hearing those words come from her mouth but he willed himself to calm down and just nods, “yup.” 

“Do you? I mean--do you love me?” she questioned, looking intensely into Harry’s eyes, hoping to read them like she usually does. 

“More than anything, angel.” 

She sucked in a sharp breath and Harry did too, but more discreetly. He couldn’t believe she finally knew. He’s always known, but the fact that he can share it with her has his heart skipping multiple beats. 

It’s a couple of tension-filled seconds of Harry worrying and her fighting the urge to cry, when her soft, angelic voice breaks the silence. “I love you, Harry.” 

He blinked a couple of times before he registered what she was saying. “Yeah?” he asked shyly. He’s in disbelief. Disbelief that anyone as perfect as her would love him. He didn’t think anyone on earth is as lucky as he is right now.”

“Oh god…” he whispered in wonder. “I love you, angel. So fucking much.” 

They were both giggling when their lips met in a searing, passionate kiss. He didn’t think they’ve ever kissed like this, it’s like they’re pouring all their love into it and it’s fucking magical.

She’s so fucking magical. 

“Let me show you.” he whispered against her lips and she hummed in question, not really understanding what he’s insinuating. 

Harry’s love language is touch, for him to feel like you’re feeling his love, you have to actually feel it. Sex has always been a healthy outlet (with lots of touch involved) that made him feel like he was really transferring all the love he felt in his heart, to his partner. It’s where he connected to them on a deep level. It’s so intimate, and when he loves someone, he wants nothing more than to feel that with them. 

He’s just hoping he doesn’t wake up before he cums. 

“I want to show you….how much I love you.” He enunciated the words with added enthusiasm, with a suggestive knowing look on his face, hoping it was enough to have her figure out what he was saying. 

She gasped when she realized, but Harry rushed forward and swallowed it with a deep kiss. 

“You’re gonna let me? I just want to make sure you feel amazing, angel. I want you to feel amazing.” 

“Yes.” 

And with her verbal consent, Harry didn’t waste any time, they ventured to the bedroom and he took her on his fingers a couple of times, having her crying out in ecstasy before it turned to slight sensitivity. Then, he fucked her right there on the bed in their shared fantasyland house, having her screaming and moaning his name, trembling under him in pleasure. 

“Fucks sake angel, you are bloody perfect. Feel so fucking good.” he practically babbled as he was driving into her. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised when the sex felt amazing (if not, better) in his dreams with his girl than it did in real life. He’s never felt anything like it, anything like her. He was completely and utterly enamored. Enamored with the way her heavenly voice moaned and mewled his name, enamored with the way her tight cunt sucked him in deeper with every thrust and made him feel like he was in paradise, enamored with the new scratches on his back, with her smile, her laugh, her wit, her intelligence, her eyes, her mouth (god, her mouth), her sense of humor, her personality, he was enamored by it all. 

Harry’s been putting off meeting with people his friends set him up with. They say that he seems lonely. They feel bad that he doesn't have anyone and they think he should “go out more”. He’s alright though. He’s fine with his angel. But if he told people that they would think he’s fucking crazy (which he probably is). 

It’s not until one of Harry’s closest friends begs him to come out with them because they didn’t want to go somewhere they knew their ex would be alone. Harry felt bad for them and agreed, throwing together a cute outfit he already wore. He could really care less about the wear one outfit once rule though. 

When he got there he immediately thought about how his girl would love a place like this. With her lively and outgoing spirit, she would thrive here. 

The night goes on, and his girl is all he thinks about. He can’t wait to go home and get to sleep in hopes of seeing her tonight. He does realize this dependency is starting to get a little unhealthy, but he doesn’t really care. What can he say? He’s a man in love. 

It’s not until he hears a sweet familiar voice that his head shoots up, looking frantically around the room to find the angelic face to the angelic voice. He barely hears his mate asking him if he's ok. All he cares about right now is her. 

Then he sees her. His breath is quite literally knocked out of him. He’s looking at her in awe, she’s laughing heartily in a group of what looks like her friends, and he swears he’s never seen her look more beautiful. 

Well except that time when--no, not the point. 

“Angel?” he whispers.

[oathbreakerapologist]

i think the way u decided to have gortash drive a wedge between orin and your durge (as opposed to the other way around) quite interesting. what insecurities/hangups do you think he preyed upon to make that happen? what changes did ghost notice in her, if any, and how did he respond? did he suspect gortash had anything to do with this?

ah this is such a fun question!! answer below the cut because this is a long one lol

Orin was brought up in an environment that encouraged treachery with deadly stakes; arguably her most significant formative experience was being attacked by, and then slaughtering, her own mother as a young child, and I can't imagine that was the only time she encountered and overcame a similar threat. As a result, she was primed to expect betrayal—even anticipate it—and react aggressively. After all, she earned Sarevok's favor by doing exactly that. Orin survived to adulthood specifically because she eliminated potential threats before they could eliminate her.

For that reason, then, she was ideally positioned to be turned into a usurper. She was already capable of murdering even those to whom she was closest. But seeing everyone around you as either a future victim or a possible threat leaves very little room for the sort of social bonds that humans, as social beings, tend to need.

One could say Niro was the only person Orin trusted, but really their relationship was built on a stranger sort of dependence than that: they thought of each other as extensions of a single being, the lone two tokens of one type, parts of a whole that would melt back together once there was nothing left but blood, gore, and death. Nobody else thought like her, felt like her, acted like her—he was transparent, comprehensible, predictable to her in a way other people weren't, in a way he wasn't to anyone else. She trusted him because she trusted herself.

So what Gortash had to do was force her to see differences between herself and Niro. He leaned into their differing statuses, involving Niro and leaving Orin behind whenever he got the opportunity. He concocted schemes to draw Niro away from the Temple as often as possible, and added forged letters into the mix of the barrage of correspondence Niro sent back to Orin each time he was away. The letters were easy to forge, too; he didn't even need to match handwriting, as Niro—who is blind and at this point could neither read nor write—dictated all his letters to a scribe. Those letters picked at things Gortash knew Niro loved about Orin, particularly her artistic flair (in my canon the letter you can find from the Dark Urge to Orin criticizing the spectacle of her killing style exists courtesy of Gortash). The letters didn't even need to match up with what Niro would undoubtedly say to Orin in other letters; all Gortash needed to do was introduce inconsistency, confusion, unpredictability.

Soon after Gortash began targeting Orin in this way, Niro noticed her seeking reassurance from him in odd ways, as if she'd suddenly become uncertain again about things like her artistry, her place in the Temple, her place in Bhaal's visions of a slaughtered world. But his responses never seemed to improve the situation; it was as if everything he added to the mix only perturbed her further. Then she pulled away from him, which he found deeply upsetting.

He did indeed consider the possibility that Gortash had engineered this situation, but because of his particularly low opinion of Gortash made Gortash a bit of a blind spot to him. As far as he was concerned, Gortash was useful because of his ability to cultivate alliances and develop technology of war, and just about all else the man did was, at best, pathetic. Niro did not think highly enough of Gortash to believe him capable of meddling in his relationship with Orin. Without a clear reason for their newfound strife, he spiraled, disappearing for long stretches of time to go on murderous rampages through the loosely-settled areas around Baldur's Gate in an attempt to exorcise his fear and grief. Of course, his absences only made the situation worse. There was a time that, when Orin didn't know where he was, she didn't believe him to be off plotting her downfall, but that time was long gone.

Ultimately, Orin betrayed Niro because Gortash, through a lens of falsehood and exaggeration, had forced her to confront something true: Niro was not her. He was someone else, he was someone else in a position of power, he was someone else in a position of power with the knowledge and physical prowess make him capable of doing her harm, and therefore he was a potential threat. And Orin had survived to adulthood specifically because she eliminated potential threats before they could eliminate her.