#but art skills have been better the more I hone in on it not thinking about so I guess that’s good lmfaoo

[wishfulreverie]

.

[perenlop]

agh why is learning how to sew so intimidating

[ginnyruin]

i'm sorry but the nurchie "art" is clearly AI generated??? can we please stop sharing and praising shit that some algorithm spat out without ever asking the original creators whose work it steals and regurgitates for their permission

- sincerely, a pissed-off artist

Hello,

I’m going to set the record straight, and I’d suggest you read carefully before making any more baseless accusations. Nurchie is an actual artist—a trained one, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in digital art and two-dimensional studies (drawing and painting) from a prestigious university. She has 16 years of professional design/digital art experience, and a publicly documented portfolio going back well before AI art even existed.

go look at her earliest work on Deviantart and you'll see how precisely detailed she draws hands, fingers, and clothing. Everything, really.

If you had bothered to do any homework, you’d see that her work reflects thousands of hours of dedicated practice and the expertise of a seasoned digital artist.

Calling her work AI generated is BEYOND insulting. it’s lazy, dismissive, and downright disrespectful to a person who has spent years honing her craft.

She doesn’t ask for clout, she doesn’t do commissions, she doesn't have a patreon or Kofi. She only made a Twitter years ago because I asked her to share her talent with the world or she wouldn't even bother.

This tendency to label any polished work as “AI” just shows ignorance, plain and simple. Real artists deserve better than to have their skills lumped in with AI machine-generated content by people who can’t tell the difference.

Each of her digital paintings takes anywhere from 30-80+ hours. For Altered State specifically, she's been working on all these art pieces for months while I've been on a posting hiatus. Her incredible work keeps me inspired; I would have literally quit ages ago. We go back and forth on details from the writing in the fic and I see these changes she makes in real time.

She paints in her limited free time for these niche fandoms because she loves the stories and wants to support the writers in it. In a world where fandom is becoming increasingly commodified, she is a rare gem.

I didn't even want to bother Nurchie with this silly comment of yours, but she's such a good sport she just laughed at the idea that anyone could accuse her art of being AI generated. She uses a combo of adobe CC suite and clip studio to draw.

nurchie messaged me this, and I asked for her permission to share it: [I just think they are probably some struggling artist, upset that they feel replaced by soulless AI and are lashing out any time they think they see it. I'm sympathetic to their feelings, and understand the annoyance. I've been battling the improper usage of it in my workplace. AI is not AI but just a data collection tool, and I completely agree that the human eye could never be replaced by it.]

yeah, she's the most chill, sweetest person ever, too. So maybe think twice before throwing around accusations you clearly can’t back up. You're trying to hurt a real artist.

-sincerely,

A writer who knows a real artist

https://www.deviantart.com/nurchie/gallery

edit: also accusations like this drive away real fanartists. Why should they bother sharing their work if their talent and skill are being dismissed as some algorithm's output? it's toxic. fandom spaces will be flooded with AI-generated content in the future because all the true artists will have left.

[theheraldsrest]

Hey! I really really love your blog! If I may request, during downtime, how would the members of the inner circle react to find the Inquisitor drawing/sketching them?

“Companions react to Inquisitor drawing/sketching them”

After our *cough* little thing with Bull, let’s have some fluff, shall we? Thank you anon for the ask!

-Lord Lex

Cullen

“You did this? It’s certainly…it’s…how did you even…it’s amazing.”

-So surprised, no words. It makes him feel a little special that you’d choose to sketch him but also very embarrassed. In return, he tries drawing you. Might not be as good and there are a few rough sketches that were thrown in the fire, but he wanted to return the favor. 

Josephine

“Oh! Look at the detail and the softness! I wouldn’t have even thought it was me from how stunning it is!”

-Absolutely gushing over it. Josey’s always had a fascination for the arts and to be the subject of the piece from someone close to her? Adores it, even asks to keep it. She has it tucked away in one of her favorite books. Will always compliment your art even when talking to dignitaries.

Leliana

“I commend you on your artistic talent. Though, I’d ask you not to sketch me. Perhaps one of the ravens would make better practice?”

-Like Josephine, Leliana has an eye for art. She loves looking at the little details in your sketches and finds it a surprise that her face is amongst the papers. As much as she appreciates it, she’d rather her face remain a secret. She is your spy master, after all. Though, if she becomes Divine, she keeps the sketch as one of her favorite pieces of her. 

Vivienne

“Darling, as much as I’d like to say you're wasting your talents by leading the Inquisition instead of honing your skills, you are equally talented in both. Most usually fail to make me look this stunning.”

-It might not show on her face or in her words but she loves it. Several times people have been commissioned to paint her yet none come even close to your level of detail. More points if it’s of her smiling or laughing, the lines on her face as well as the wrinkle around her eyes gives her a sense of…normalcy. If she becomes Divine, she commissions you to do her portrait, no one else.

Varric

“You drew me? I think that’s gotta be one of the scariest pieces of your art I’ve ever seen! When you're done, can I keep it?”

-Though it doesn’t sound like it, he brags about it constantly. Even when he’s making fun of his slightly crooked nose or how his eyes might seem smaller than other dwarves, he’s complimenting the skill you put into the very minute details of his face. Varric will try to pay you for it even if you refuse, later trying to commission a drawing of Hawke when they come around.

Cole

“Oh, it’s me! Not really, but it’s Cole. But you’re trying to draw me…I can still remember his face, then.”

-He’ll stare at it for hours, his shoulders down. It’s been sometime since he’d been able to see his own face, forgetting that he even had a face. To see you draw that face, the real Cole, just from looking at him makes him happy. Will ask to look at it every now and then, just to make sure it’s still the same.

Solas

“I must say, you are quite talented and steady with your hands. It does allow others to see how the artist sees. You certainly make me seem…at peace.”

-From one artist to another, he gives you high compliments with very few complaints. It is unusual to see him drawn in such a way since he’s so used to seeing only the mosaics. He meant to get rid of it when he left the Inquisition, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Cassandra

“Inquisitor, though your craft is very beautiful and I admire how you can make these pieces, I must ask you not to sketch me.”

-Don’t get her wrong, she loves seeing your sketches but it’s mostly out of formality (and somewhat embarrassment) that she asks not to be your subject. If she becomes Divine, it’s one of the only pieces she prefers over the paintings. Though she does ask you, if you have the time, to draw something for her. When you give her a perfect picture of her brother and her, it’s one of the few times she truly hugs you.

The Iron Bull

“Holy shit. I’m alright when it comes to sketching, but you make it look pretty damn easy while so complicated! You even got my scars and the detail on my patch! Damn, boss!”

-Bull is used to doing quick sketches, usually of small details to make sure he could track someone or to remember something easier. Never had he really seen himself drawn so picture perfect that it completely baffles him. He looks at all the details with a smile on his face.

Dorian

“I can’t believe you managed to get my good side! In all honesty, though, this is remarkable. And not just because it’s me.”

-He had studied some art pieces before and never really found any he liked, but he has now found one of his favorite artists. Constantly asks if you’ve done any new pieces just so he can look at the heart that goes into them. Ask if you could teach him to sketch as such so that he can add better drawings to his research notes.

Sera

“What the fuck! That’s me! How the fuck! How did you do this! You even got my eyes to be lined up! How the hell did you do that?!”

-We all know Sera’s drawing style. She keeps saying the same things over and over again because she’s at a loss for words. Except for cuss words. Along with the rooftop hangouts, she insists that you two just draw together sometimes. Some of the goofiest drawings come from these times, especially one of a cartoonish Coryshit falling from a very detailed tower.

A little speech bubble near it says “Oh shit, I shat myself!”

Blackwall

“I…I’m honored to be one of your subjects. Not to blow my own horn, but this looks stunning. You really are something special, hm?”

-Blackwall has done a lot of sketching himself and finds your art a breath of fresh air. Other than looking at bits and pieces of his reflection, he usually tries to avoid seeing himself. So when he sees your drawing of him, he almost doesn’t recognize himself. You both trade sketches of each other just for fun and even sketch together.

[gyuswhore]

Pure Math 171

choi seungcheol x reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: fluff, humour

warnings: math. (1) dirty joke. thats it i think (lmk if there's more)

synopsis: Walking into the first class of the semester shouldn't have been as eventful as it was (not that you can complain for long)

masterlist

(A/N): I haven't posted a fic in a while so i hope i redeem myself with this one hehe. a million thank yous to @toruro for beta-ing for me (even at the dentists lol) you can thank her for this too shes the reason i finished so quickly kjvkdfjg

It takes a lot to surprise you. 

It’s not that you enjoy it, but your friends simply make it easy to read them. It took Soonyoung seven human years to learn the art of surprise birthday parties. You know, the ones where you aren’t supposed to know he’s throwing a party just for you. Or Minghao, before he learned the art of deceit, and held his disdain like a badge on his face. 

You seem to have honed the skill of psychics better than most, confident in your ability as a higher-risk party trick. 

Skipping into the new semester at uni, you enter your lecture hall at the reasonable hour of 8 in the morning, expecting nothing but the usual. No surprises were to come your way today, just another first day back, fueling for the coming months.

You push the doors of your lecture hall open, ready to greet your professor for Pure Mathematics 171, pushing your spirits high to commence your per semester buttering. What you find though, is the front desk crowded with students wanting to do the exact same, all for the professor that would be teaching the most dreaded unit of the course. Of course. 

You spot Soonyoung among the crowd as he spots you at the door as well. You note how gleeful he looks at this hour. This can’t be good. Hao too presses his mouth together in an attempt to conceal his budding smile, hand to mouth when he miserably fails.

What on Earth was so funny? 

Attempting to crane your neck, over and under, to catch a glimpse of the ever popular professor, you find yourself blocked by the sea of math nerds and ass-kissers just like yourself. Curiosity was becoming a little too much for you to bear, not that your friends sniggering and whispering while looking directly at you was helping at all. You were just about to march up to the two and demand to be put on their shoulders to see what the fuss was about. Until—

“Alright! It’s almost 8, let’s save the chatter for after class, how about?” you hear a voice boom in the centre of the anthill. 

You knew that voice.

You watch in slow motion as the hoard of bodies disperse, not missing the pointed glances of both your friends directed at the teacher’s table. 

And then you see it. Standing there, looking down at his folder sheets, dry-erase marker in hand. 

Choi Seungcheol.

Choi Seungcheol was your professor.

Your boyfriend was your professor.

How did this happen? Did he know about this? Was he keeping it from you? Were you blind when you read the clear ‘Dr. Kim’ next to your unit code? 

Seungcheol doesn’t notice you standing there slack mouthed and frozen in his classroom. Until he does. 

Instead of mimicking your shocked expression, you watch as his mouth goes to pull what you recognise as a smirk. 

Oh, he thinks this is hilarious. 

His eyebrows are raised as he questions you, “Will you be taking a seat, miss?” 

It’s then that you realise you're in the middle of a lecture hall with about a hundred eyes watching you as you gape at your collective professor. Could they be mistaking your imminent horror as you checking him out? 

If this was another situation maybe you would have, but this was starting to sound like a sick joke. 

But alas, you could not confront your professor like that, at least not in front of an audience. So you find it within yourself to slowly slug towards the staircase to plant yourself next to your friends. Both of whom were having the absolute time of their lives watching your dazed expression. 

You might have committed murder that day. 

You’re forced to snap out of it as you hear Seungcheol - professor Choi - begin to speak at the front of the class.

“Good morning everybody,” he starts, hands on his desk, a pleasant expression on his face as he awaits a response from his borderline comatose students. A chorus of good mornings greet him back, excluding your own.

“Hope you guys had a good break, welcome to Pure Math 171, my name is Professor Choi” he moves to scribble his name on the whiteboard, “And I would like to be referred as such.” 

His gaze finds you in your seat as he utters those words. He is quick to shift.

“We’re gonna be starting light today, I’ll be going through our unit guide and grading system…” 

Seungcheol talks. And talks. And talks. And you don’t listen. You watch instead.

You’re mad at him. Really mad at him. But you can’t help but wonder as he walks around looking like that. He’s in the simplest dress shirt and slacks of a neutral colour, but he wears it oh so well. 

You’ve watched him every morning as he gets dressed for work, knowing his attire has always suited him. Your friends who have been in his classes have expressed their disappointment when told he wasn’t single, and promptly draw open in shock when they realize it's you that’s snagged him before the world could. 

Seungcheol, for lack of a better word, hits different when he’s in his element. His hair is pushed back and out of his face, noting how his glasses look so much sexier when he’s pacing the room with hands dipped in his pockets. He’s speaking tongues of numbers and symbols, and it’s suddenly the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

But you're mad at him. It shouldn’t be that hard to remind yourself. 

“You know, you’re being real ungrateful for a person who just got a free pass on the hardest class this fucking insitution can cook up,” Soonyoung whisper-shouts next to you.

Minghao quips beside him, “Look alive, sister, you’ve hit the jackpot.”

“Were you two in on it?” you finally snap, irritated at their apparent glee. 

Soonyoung snorts, “Fuck, no, we saw him when we walked in this morning”

“So did he know?” 

“Oh, I think Professor Choi would be glad to tell you himself after hours,” Minghao sleazes while Soonyoung throws you the greasiest wink known to man. 

Disgusted and disturbed, you turn your attention back to the front of the room. You’re still disgusted and disturbed. Seungcheol is still there, looking like he does, scribbling some example equation on the board. 

“Hmm. I think professor Choi ought to know his favourite student’s having trouble paying attention? We can’t have that, you should move up front.”

You do move. Away from your friends to the seats higher up. 

It’s a mind-numbing two hours in which you think you experience every emotion possible. 

You think of your friends who have sat in his classes all semester, that have ogled him and admitted his apparent attractiveness. There were people in this room that were thinking the very same thing in this very moment, and it was making your skin crawl. You wanted to get up and scream: This is your boyfriend.

But alas, you are but a tired, tired college student. He wouldn’t fail you, would he? Then again, he has a ruthless streak of keeping you from the lights of life when you’re slacking in dire times. You might be the love of his life, but he remains a man of discipline. 

It’s an annoying trait, but only ever in the moment. He might be the sole reason you haven’t completely lost yourself in the sea of academics. 

“I think we can wrap up with that, it’s basic stuff but it won’t hurt to revise on your own before next week when we really get into it,” Seungcheol’s voice booms.

There’s a churn in your stomach for some reason, and you have to neutralize your breathing as you watch the lecture hall slowly empty out. A few students remain lingering at the front desk for yet another round of buttering. Seungcheol entertains them, pleasant smile on his face, nodding along to something. You remain seated, arms and legs crossed as you stare daggers into the top of Seungcheol’s head as he speaks with his students. 

The remaining students file out as well, and you notice how Soonyoung and Minghao are long gone, leaving just you and Seungcheol alone in this big, big room. 

It’s only then that he looks up searching, to check if you had left yet.

He remembered quick. 

His eyes finally land on your, disgruntled, tight form, refusing to make eye contact for more than three seconds before huffing audibly, moving to put away your things. Seungcheol moves around his front desk, hands in pockets, hiking his way up the lecture steps to where you were at the top row. 

You’re shoving your laptop in your bag by the time he’s done with his trek, planting himself on the chair next to you loudly. You ignore him.

“Do you think we’d get in trouble if they caught us like this?” he muses after a few silent moments.

“Caught us like what?” You snap. There goes your pledge to remain silent.

“You can’t possibly think a teacher and his student caught in a classroom by themselves is necessarily a point in our favor” 

“I’ll do the honors then” with that you’re swinging your bag over your shoulder to trudge behind him to the steps leading down, wanting to be out of his presence for the time being. 

You’re barely past him when there’s a grip on your wrist, firm and purposeful, that tugs you backwards in a harsh manner. The bag on your shoulder is sent to the floor while you, in your entirety, are sent straight into Seungcheol’s lap. 

Bastard. 

The smirk on his face is enough to send you into a pot of livid fumes, right after you’re done balancing yourself on his shoulders. You try not to grip on too tight. 

“What makes you think you can leave without being dismissed?”  

“What the fuck.” 

“Language, miss. I don’t tolerate obscenities in my classroom.” It might’ve been a menacing threat, but with what lay behind the glint in his eyes you knew he was being a little shit. 

It takes you every fibre in your body to refrain from thinking too much about him. Him and his hands that rest on your thighs, him and his hands that are placed near your waist, stroking and pressing into your shirt. 

No, you're mad at him.

“Did you know?” you ask finally, tired of the back and forth.

“Nope,” he replies, “Found out when you walked in.” 

“Do you not read your attendance sheet? Isn’t that your job? You had the entirety of summer to give me a heads up, this is your fault!” 

“Dr. Kim got into an accident last night, she’s out of service for the rest of the semester. I didn’t know until I came in for my other class I was being switched over—” 

“How does that happen?!” you almost yell.

He’s silent for a moment before beginning again, “Do you want me to ask for another class?” 

Wait, what. 

“I didn’t say that—” You can’t finish because your being pushed off your seat on his lap to stand while he gets up as well.

“I’ll go talk to the co-ordinator then, class isn’t working out for me.” With that he’s trudging back down the steps, making a beeline for the door.

You’re left stunned at the top of the stairs, not knowing if he was being serious or not. Were you about to let his presence bother you that bad? To the point he had to switch classes? What were you even that upset about? 

Twirling around in place trying to look for the bag that was strewn about earlier, you grab the straps and race down the steps. If Seungcheol can hear your bounding footsetps, he doesn’t show it. Instead you crash into his back just as he’s about to leave the room, to which he turns around. 

The smirk seems glued to his face and you realize right then you may have been lured. With the 180° that had become of your perception, you couldn’t be mad at him anymore, cooling off the simmer that had been brewing for the past couple hours. 

“Maybe…Maybe I can live with seeing your face for a couple hours a week,” you mumble, suddenly unable to maintain eye contact.

He lets out an incredulous laugh, “Couple hours a week?! Do you realise we sleep in the same bed at night, pretty sure that’s more than a couple hours.”

“You know what I meant!” you huff, arms crossed and turning your head away. You cringe slightly at how you voice echoes across the large lecture hall. 

Feeling his hands enclose yours, pulling your body slowly towards him, you bring yourself to look back up at him. His hands come up behind you when you’re close enough, snaking up your back and waist. You try not to shudder, but it’s hard when you know he’s doing it on purpose. There’s warmth that radiates off of him, a stark contrast from the chill classroom, your fingers finding purchase around his own waist.

There’s more of that same warmth when he kisses you, short pecks, yet ones that have you smiling against his lips. The curve remaining as he rests his forehead on yours.

“Let’s go home, just need to grab my stuff,” he says, but makes no effort to move from his position.

“Are you already done for the day?” you frown.

“No,” he muses, “But it’s only the first day. Besides, I wanna sit in bed with my girl while I map her out for the first assignment of the semester.” 

“Does your girl get premium access?” 

“Hm, maybe.” 

Before you can refute, the door of the room bursts open with a bang that reaches straight into your soul. With the way Seungcheol’s eyes widen, you don’t doubt the same was happening in his own chest. 

There isn’t enough time for you to pull away before hearing gasps alluding from the threshold. 

Soonyoung and Minghao stand at the door, scandalized looks complete with hands over their faces. Hao shakes his head in mock disappointment, eyes pointed. Soonyoung pulls out his hands, framing them like he was taking a picture of the both of you gripping each other.

“Now what would the bulletin look like with these two on the front cover? You’re friends with Seok, right? D’you think you could put a word in?” Soonyoung yaps, the most insufferable look on his face.

Seungcheol laughs, to your surprise, and looks over to you, “What d’you think the bulletin would look like with his F on the front cover?” 

“D’you think you could put a word in?” you raise your eyebrows. 

His smile widens but he’s being pulled away as both your friends move forward to surround him. You vaguely register Soonyoung cupping your boyfriend’s face delicately, singsonging about their years of friendship, or how Hao has his arms wrapped around him in a back hug, head on his shoulder. 

You vaguely register any of it, because you’re smiling too hard at the scene. Smiling too hard when Seungcheol catches your eye, before bursting out laughing, attempting to wrestle the two off of him. 

You bring your phone up to the chaos instead of your hands, wanting to frame the scene for real this time. 

[ribbonetteart]

Tribute to one of my favorite movies of all time + the franchise that has me in a death grip 💖

a bit late for Christmas but at least Valentine's day is around the corner ^^;;

Process below if that interests you:

AS I SAID EARLIER, I had been working on this piece as early as December of 2021 😱!!!

This was the original sketch! I was inspired after learning about Blaze's own design inspiration coming from Takarazuka theater, as well as it being the Nutcracker season so this film was in bouncing around in my head.

and this was allllll the way back in 2021 ^^; I had put the idea to paper to capture the image in my head immediately. But the idea in my head was extravagant and beautiful and would certainly take time to complete, as well as the patience and skill to work with watercolor 😔 I've certainly done my share of watercolor, both physical and digital, but I still feel like my physical watercolor work is a fluke, and I was still a novice digital artist at the time of this sketch.

In short, I wasn't confident my skill could live up to the vision.

So I would put this on the back burner. It wouldn't be ready in time for Christmas, and I could use this as an opportunity to hone that digital art experience so it could be ready next year!

2 Years Later...

It's December 5th. Fuck it. Let's crack this open again, I tell myself.

SO starting with the line art, it's actually 2 different brushes layered over one another.

I also changed Sonic's expression to be more love struck-looking, because I'm a sucker for romance.

The image on the left is a watercolor line brush, while the right is a pencil brush. The reason I wanted a water color look was because I thought it would make the illustration look dreamy and fantastical, and I wanted that to extend to the line art as well. However, my usual lines on traditional usually veer more towards thick and cartoony from years of studying the Sonic art style, so I really felt like I was working against myself here. I had also asked friends for their input and they preferred the lines on the right as well. If my followers actually do read these blog posts, I'd love if you could comment which line art style you prefer drawing or looking at.

The happy medium was to just combine the 2. Here's a better look at that:

I like it! I think it combines the solid line with the rustic water color grain. Best of both worlds :]

For the actual painting, The most notable thing I can say is that getting the right pastel-y color was VERY difficult to achieve for someone like me who often loves to use bright and saturated colors in her art. I feel like I really set myself up to do one of those "evil art style" or "opposite art style" challenges I've been seeing around. I had to repaint Sonic at one paint because the blue of his fur was WAY too saturated for the style I was going for:

I started with painting Sonic and Blaze in first and then working on the background. I think that's probably the backwards way of doing it but one of the perks of digital art is you can do stuff any order you want when you have layers.

The background wasn't actually as difficult as I thought it would be. I wasn't going for any difficult perspective, and I was using a reference so that could be it. I'm usually averse to backgrounds but I really wanna tackle more of my weak points in art. I actually had way more fun than I was expecting, painting the sky and adding texture to the grass. I think I had the most fun rendering the water coming from the fountain (which you can't even see too well anyway, lol).

Funny enough, I had just about finished painting the characters and background by early January. So why am I posting this in February?

The Flowers...

In case you don't know. I love flowers. I love looking at them, I love learning about flower languages, I love drawing them. so seeing that my reference image showed flowers circling the fountain, I was excited! I was already having more fun than I expected to be having (working against my usual style, rendering a background), so how could this be a pain in the ass?

Well, I am my own worst enemy 😞I couldn't exactly identify each flower offhand from this screenshot alone. The texture of the flowers is kinda grainy, since I don't think the animators were expecting viewers to look too closely at the set piece to use as reference for my lovingly crafted crossover fanart. If anyone has this in high quality though, please tell me.

(I think I actually got this reference from a tumblr post but I can't find it on my blog for the life of me nor can I find it in the tags I'm so sorry)

I'm a huge stickler for details so I really wanted to be as "accurate" as possible in my illustration. I can hardly identify some of these flowers with confidence. I think there are roses in there? or tulips? I'm not sure if those yellow flowers are roses or some kinda petunia or if I'm way off.

I'm sure these details won't matter to most viewers but it was EATING AWAY AT ME. Eventually I decided to try drawing in flowers that might look similar to the ones in the reference. Or some based on their flower languages. I was certainly overthinking it ;;;; It led me to going "fuck it" and just throwing in whatever I wanted. There are no irises visible in that screenshot but I made it the centerpiece of the flower ring. Who give a shit.

I made some guides for me to follow: The blue ring was so I could make sure the flowers make a half circular border around Sonic and Blaze. I was envisioning how it could look as like an icon or sticker or something, which is why it's framed this way. then the second guide is the sketch of the flowers I made. I always do line art and I'm not great at just improvising with color to paper, or color to screen in this case.

The rest of this process is then just working on each flower piece by piece (with the help of the mirror tool of course) with varying degrees of detail. Some flowers are more abstract than others, and I had debated if that would look jarring and disrupted any kind of harmony I was trying to maintain with the style parameters I set for myself. And then I decided I was overthinking it once again which is why this was taking me nearly 2 months to complete.

At some point during this process, my wifi went out for a whole week! Of course, I could still work on this illustration offline, but I had a lot of tabs open with a bunch of reference images on there (plus I like to listen to music while I draw otherwise I lose focus and I had neglected to download a varied selection on my phone or laptop 😭 Learn from my mistakes).

The most tedious of this process was making each set of gladioluses a unique color.

Was it worth it? You tell me! I think they're pretty, at least.

Along the way, I repainted the grass because it wasn't symmetrical (It didn't need to be but I had been using the mirror tool for a lot at this point and it was bugging me). I made other little final adjustments, like color adjusting the leaves on the flowers, lowering the flower ring border, and so on.

Ultimately, I'm extremely satisfied with the final product. I had my heart set on doing something like this for a long time. I had so much fun just experimenting throwing on color or not worrying about technical stuff. Of course, I did do what I usually do and overthink it at some points, but I'm working on it!

I've wanted to do an extremely indulgent AU illustration and other drawings for a Sonic x The Nutcracker story for a long while. I will be totally honest, I'm still a little embarrassed to share stuff like this, even after years of posting fan art online. It feels like the more self indulgent something is, the more people might judge me for it ^^; But I wanna practice what I preach and kill the thing inside me that cringes at my harmless attempts at joy and whimsy.

I would love to do some more drawings for this AU, but maybe post them around December when it would be more seasonally appropriate. I hope you'll stick around for it!

If you read this whole thing to the end, thank you. Whether you follow my blog or not, I hope you have a lovely day :3💝

[frictionpress]

Writing Advice: Is It a Craft Issue or a Story Issue?

Reposting this piece of advice from my substar!

My evergreen advice to all writers: learn to understand the difference between writing and storytelling, so it’s not as upsetting when they don’t perfectly mesh for you. Writing is a craft, a tool to be used however you like. Storytelling is an art form that you can express with writing.

(This applies to everyone whether you’re writing sfw novels or insane toxic yaoi.)

Writing is an inherently slow craft. You can only really do that as fast as your brain and body allows you to do. There are rules to learn that will help you, like grammar and structure, and tricks you can teach yourself so prose feels fresher, but writing is a lot like hiking. You’ll get there when you get there, one step at a time.

Telling a story is difficult because you have to marry your craft of choice with the art of storytelling. The same is true for comics and plays and video games and novels. If you’re able to identify the difference between a craft issue and a story issue, it will help you so much! This is how people can more effectively self-edit.

I often think about stories like a graph with both X and Y axes. Craft and art should theoretically be functioning together to get your optimal results. That’s a real fuckin’ boring way to talk about the beauty of art, but you need to work with the tools you have in order to get to that “holy shit that was so cool” moment. You need to understand the difference between the failure of a boring sentence and the failure of a boring character. Good craft can only get you so far if your storytelling instincts haven’t been honed enough to recognize how best to implement these tools you have.

Is this scene not working because the prose isn’t doing a good job of conveying the emotions of the story? Or is it that the content of this conversation doesn’t function as a good bridge between this scene’s emotions and the last? You need to see both levels to diagnose problems. The writing supports the story! These two things can harmonize through style, but they can also work against each other when you’re unsure about either element.

In my experience, it is a thousand times easier to fix prose/craft issues than story issues, so I always advise people to figure out their story issues first. I’m also a writer who tends to let stories evolve as I write them, but even I have notes and outlines. I have a vision for what it is I want to accomplish. Sometimes I have to do some writing to figure out the best way to build that story, but I always know what I’m trying to build. I know the skeleton. The way the muscle and fat sits on the body is much easier to adjust than the bone structure beneath the skin.

If I’m writing a scene that I know is important to the narrative, but the prose is coming out too weak to realize my original vision, I will simply leave it in its minimized form, continue on to a scene I’m better prepared to write, and then come back to shore up that weak scene so it can better match what’s around it. Editing is easier when you have those highs and lows to work off of. It’s a very good skill to be able to say, “this part of the piece is weaker, I’ll come back and fix it later” and not drive yourself mad trying to perfect it right then and there when you don’t even have the end written.

If I begin writing a scene and I have a character opening their mouth to say something important, and then I have no clue what they need to say that’s going to solve the plot problem, I will stop and go back to my story notes to better understand the emotions I’m conjuring. This is a moment that I don’t want to skip over and come back to, because it is substantive! This line may get referenced later on by another character. I don’t want to write more load bearing scenes reliant on this one if I don’t know how this particular scene is actually carrying the emotional weight. Substantive problems are far more likely to create more problems down the line if you don’t straighten them out.

I am deeply, deeply against perfectionism in every form. Perfectionism kills art, it stalls your process, it gives you art blocks, it makes you miserable with impossible standards. Stories get written one word at a time! They are simply too long and too much work to get correct on your first try, and pretending like anyone can be perfect on their first try is doing yourself and literally all other artists a disservice. Which is why it’s super important to figure out what kind of problems your piece is presenting with.

There’s a time to just keep writing, and there’s a time to stop and consider what you’re doing. Boring prose does not need to be addressed right away. That can wait. Oftentimes, I find it’s way easier to punch up past scenes after I’ve finished a first draft, because I suddenly have clarity on how the emotional weight is being distributed across the whole piece. I know what comes up at the end, so I can pull those threads back to the beginning. I know which scenes are unbalanced and which scenes are strong on their own.

My general rule of thumb is this:

Is this a substantive-story problem? It’s okay to stop and figure that out.

Is this a craft-prose problem? Put it off. Fix that in the editing stage when you have a completed first draft that can support its own weight.

Plenty of people, myself included, will reread pieces when we come back to them, to re-familiarize ourselves with the piece before starting on the new prose. When I do this, I intentionally limit myself so that I’m not rereading the entire piece every time. I will read roughly a page at most leading up to where construction stopped. I don’t want the new prose to feel totally out of alignment, but I also can’t agonize over every single detail. There is so much work in writing that you can safely put off for later!

For first drafts, it’s good to focus on the parts that make a piece sing: the characterization, the action, the emotion. Figure out your full vision for the piece, get a good skeleton down, and then go back in and use your craft tools to elevate the writing to match the story.

[eroguron0nsense]

Little thing that occurred to me about Law and Haki

I've always attributed the "canon" reason for Law continually getting spanked or struggling in spite of his virtually unparalleled power to be that he's just comparatively worse at haki than a lot of his opponents. Generally speaking, you can work your way around a LOT of devil fruit powers or brute force through them if you've got enough spatial intelligence and haki to work your way around them (see Oden, Vergo, Shanks, presumably Roger). Law's haki is established in Punk Hazard/Dressrossa to be weaker than Vergo's and Doffy's, in spite of certain external factors that contributed to him losing fights he could have either won or done substantially better in, and that kind of leads a lot of people to thinking that Law's powers are too good and they just needed to nerf him so that the fights could actually be more difficult and give Luffy an actual chance to shine/make the stakes higher etc That much is absolutely true, and Law having more developed haki combined with the way he's learned to use the Ope Ope no Mi would probably make him damn near invincible. I do, however, think that there's a bit more to this–and a more plausible justification– than just Law being as vulnerable or outmatched as the series needs him to be at any point in time, which is that he's had little to no fucking opportunity to polish it.

So quick recap: Law probably had some understanding of how haki worked from his time training with the Donquixote family, who taught him everything he knows about martial arts/swordplay/combat that didn't involve devil fruits. After Minion Island and Cora's death, he makes his way to Swallow Island, finds Bepo being bullied by Penguin and Shachi, and eventually manages to recruit all three to start the Heart Pirates. The thing is, as Cora told Law before he died, eating the Ope Ope no Mi turns both Doffy and the Marines against Law and virtually leaves him all alone with three children who are weaker fighters than him, and unless Oda gives him a second backstory, we can presume Law had no other mentors the entire time. The entire foundation for Law learning Haki in a world where everyone who knew about him would have been hunting him down a la Nico Robin would just have been him working off of what he learned from the Donquixote family. We don't know how the rest of the worst generation picked it up except for Luffy, who despite having only really understood what it was recently, spent two years being mentored and trained intensively by one of the greatest haki users alive; Law presumably had to pick it up on his own in life or death circumstances and had to focus more on escape or evasion as a 13 year old with limited powers and going through the whole childhood Luffy process of actually learning how to utilize his devil fruit in combat, especially since the Ope Ope no Mi canonically involves a hell of a lot of skill, intricacy, and imagination to be able to use to its fullest potential. The difference in Law's ability and more experienced or better haki users is basically the difference between people who've been training in highly specific martial arts for a long time and someone who was good at karate until they had to stop taking classes in middle school, and basically had to try and build up any skills they had developed by that point entirely on their own with no external guidance. You can learn to hold your own in a fight but the actual skills involved in picking up haki either come under super specific circumstances or involve learning highly specialized skills under mentorship. The people who are really, really good at it either have years and years of experience honing it (every Yonko, Katakuri), had it knocked into them by someone who was better at it (see Luffy and Zoro's training arcs, Hyogoro helping Luffy build on what he'd learned from Rayleigh to finally pick up Ryuo), or levelled it up under very specific life or death circumstances after already having a background in it (see the Katakuri fight, or Luffy unlocking his Ryuo under duress). Law and his crew of babies were presumably running for their lives constantly or trying to live under the radar until they'd gotten a bit stronger so that Doffy didn't pick up on the fact that Law was out there and vulnerable; their circumstances just weren't quite the right ones to develop their haki as quickly or as strongly.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Rating BG3 Ladies Oral Game

By popular (1 anon) demand. With a bonus segment, Does She Eat Ass?

Ratings based on vibes and also facts opinions (controversial: not everyone can be a sex god).

all the main and supporting women + my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Sex is like pizza, so average results are in fact still pretty good. Only 2, 1, and 0/10 are truly trash head. So a 5 or 6 is still a compliment!*

Lae'zel: 10/10. Her appetite is voracious. Her will is steel, and her tongue is silver. As a lifelong try-hard, Lae'zel can't settle for anything less than stellar, and eating out is no exception. She can be a bit too clinical with it at the start, but once her heart is freed from its stone prison, her sensuality comes pouring out her lips and tongue.

Shadowheart: 9/10. This is her wheelhouse. This is what she's been up to for the last 30 years. She loses a point because her brand of teasing and/or being coy occasionally doesn't translate; there's a difference between a slow burn and letting a lover go cold, and she can slip up sometimes and forget she's pleasuring, not torturing. But overall? Who knew such a delicate touch could make you come apart like that.

Karlach: 11/10. She's a natural, and she's ravenous. For touch. For affection. To please, to be good. She tunes all the way in. No notes. She's all up in and/or on that thang, front, back, side to side, not a drop left when she's done with it. The most finesse? No, but a hammer doesn't need frills and lace to knock in a nail.

Minthara: 12/10. Even better than her stroke game. It feeds her ego like no other, and what feeds Minthara's ego is also good for her lover. Dominant even when giving head, and she puts that nose and chin to werk. You're done when she's done, not the other way around. Eats 110% of it, leaves no crumbs.

Jaheira: 6/10. Frankly, Jaheira is just not that horny and so, while her skills are well-honed, she just doesn't have that killer instinct to catapult her into higher tiers. She's too busy to spend two hours between someone's legs, so she aims to get it done nice and quick, but thorough. She's no quitter, after all, and her dedication to the goal is unshakeable.

Isobel: 8/10. A little too much of a tease for anyone who's not an edging enthusiast, but she puts her money where her mouth is. She's incredibly in-tuned with a partner, so once she's zoned in, she's got it locked down. Her focus is unbreakable. Doesn't have the most stamina, but she more than knows how to make up for it. You don't need hours and hours for Isobel to take you apart.

Aylin: 7/10 or 100/10 IF her face is being sat on. My controversial take for this post. But I think that while Aylin's tongue is GOATed and she loves pleasing her partner, it's just an act that isn't enough for her. She wants to touch, feel, suck, lick, caress, tease it all, not just a fraction of her beloved. Her hands and tongue wander. She flits around, sampling it all. Keeping her in that one place, on-task, can require some input from her partner, so they can't quite relax all the way and melt under her. This is where the face-sitting specification comes in. Surrounded so, held down (even by someone MUCH smaller), being taken as much as she gives--------- that's where she really shines.

Mizora: -100/10. Again... get real.

Orin: 5/10. She is a rolling stone. She is a whimsical sort. Eating out requires focus that she certainly has, but can she employ it on a dependable enough basis? She can also get too artful with it. Sometimes A->B is the right path and you don't need to murder someone and stash their corpse in an abandoned one-room house inbetween licks, ya know?

Florrick: 9/10. Look at that profile. That nose. That chin. Those lips. Observe her delusional confidence, her endless fidelity, her relentless pursuit of her goals. Did you feel that tremble? It was your [preferred genital word]. She comes home from a long day of bossing people around and serving the greater good, ready to pamper someone, to serve herself, and she's hungry. Her only downside is that she can be a bit efficient with it; it takes her time to warm up emotionally, and not treat you like just another item on her to-do list.

Talli: 8/10. Happy to be of service, always. A very thorough, straightforward, good-game-giving mouth. Lacks creativity, but completely consistent, reliable, and (if desired) romantic.

Alfira: 8/10. A little clumsy, a little distractible, but you can't beat the dedication. Amazing breath-holding capacity. Unlike some other be-fanged women, she loves her teeth and knows how to deploy them. She keeps ya guessing, which does have a few negatives, but overall? More than makes up for her complete lack of stroke game.

Lakrissa: 6/10. She talks a big bigger game than she actually has, surprisingly. She's a little too restless, a little too fidgety. She likes to use more of her body than she can while going down, so it's kind or boring for her tbh. She likes the taste and the emotional/mental experience for herself, more than she likes actually doing it. But for her love? Anything. She'll sit down there for hours if need be.

Araj: 2/10. The future Matron Mother of the Restored House Oblodra does not get on her knees. You try to tell her that there are many other options, but she doesn't listen. Only goes down when she's trying to steal your secretions for her alchemy. It's not worth it.

Nocturne: 7/10. Like Shadowheart, she had to be entertaining herself somehow for all the decades in the cloister so her skills are above average. But she's a little more submissive, and tends to pigeonhole herself; she can't quite pull off a toppy tongue sesh. If she's not on her knees, she doesn't quite know how to do it. Certified biter, interested in the intersection between pleasure and pain.

Skoona: 7/10. A little self-conscious of her tusks, but she's always found the act romantic and fulfilling. Likes to hold hands during.

Adrielle: 3/10. She's a little self-conscious, a little too intimidated. A little too desperate to be good. In one's own head is the worst place to be when trying to go down on someone, and that's where she is. Will get you there, but hardly a world-shaking experience.

Z'rell: 1 Billion/10. Look, it's still not for YOU, but in case you were wondering: at least 17 someones out there are getting it ATE. Front, back, side to side, axes that don't even exist in our plane. You're missing out. Pathetic.

Nine-Fingers: 7/10. Makes your legs shake, but can be a little too intense. She can come on too strong. She can make it feel like a competition, or like there's something else on her mind that's not you. Keeping her engaged is a You problem, but if you can? Very good.

Philomeen: ?/10. She does not go down, ever; she's made that mistake before long ago (making the hoes think she cares about them) and she's nawt gonna make it again!!

In addition: Does she eat ass?

Eats ass completely unprompted: Lae'zel, Minthara, Orin, Z'rell Offers to eat ass: Shadowheart, Karlach, Aylin, Florrick, Nocturne Eats ass if asked: Jaheira, Isobel, Lakrissa, Nine-Fingers Considers it, but decides eating ass isn't for her: Alfira, Talli, Skoona Definitely doesn't eat ass: Mizora, Araj, Adrielle, Philomeen

[stellar-constellations]

"You haven’t tried to kill or degrade me, and you're cute too!”

        Very curious! Low ranked demon! GN! (Y/N) x Aizetsu.

        (Y/N) has absolutely no memory of their human life.

        Chōrō is an original OC for plot purposes!

        (Y/N) eats human food to gain energy!

        (Y/N) has her own original breathing but it doesn't go into detail!

        (Y/N)'s demon life is similar to one for one of my Demon Slayer OC's (that I may or may not add onto Tumblr one day; still deciding).

        This is old and cringe, but I'm keeping this on my profile because it shows my progress as a writer.

        It must’ve been a few months since I’ve been a demon. I don’t know much about my human life, but I was once a demon slayer who killed demons. I was a tsuchinoe with much to learn, but I created my own breathing; Celestial Breathing.

        I was a stubborn and honest person. I followed what I believed was right and I did my best to help others, even if it didn’t always work out—at least, that’s what my human friends say.

        I visit this old lady, Chōrō, often. She gives me human food since it replenishes my energy instead of blood. My human friends are demon slayers, but they won’t kill me. I’m a exception to the slayer corps, just like my little demon friend Nezuko is. 

        I hide in big trees and warehouses in the day, but I usually go to Chōrō; she is very kind and lets me hide in her house. 

        I am a demon with no rank, a demon that could easily be killed if wanted since I have no name or significant importance. I help give the best information I can about That Man and the Uppermoons to the demon slayers, but once I no longer have connections with them, I am of no use.

        Death doesn’t bother me—I would enjoy it. I don’t want to be a demon. I don’t like having to hide from the sun, fight other demons, run from the humans, find a way to get money, or avoid the pretty glowing purple trees. But I don’t want to submit easily—it’d be insulting. 

        I don’t have any important relation with the Demon King. The last time I saw him, I was in the infinity castle, but I don’t know why. He explained what I was and what I had to do, then set me free in the world. I'm certain he was the one that turned me, but I'm unsure why.

        So far, I have run into three Upper Moons; one, two, and three. I don’t like Upper Moon One—he gave me a surprise test and was very mean to me, saying that I was a imposter and had no use, so I dislike him very much. 

        The second Upper Moon is very… special. He’s weirdly animated, loud, and a bit annoying, but I am on better terms with him then with Upper Moon One. He helps me train, honing my swordsmanship skills and Blood Demon Art (which appears to be my Celestial Breathing). 

        I only saw Upper Moon Three once, but he seems like a very irritable person, and I have a problem with people who like to berate me.

        I really like the animals in the world. I think my favorite is the wolf. They’re a little mean to me, but they don’t attack me, they just growl at me. However, sometimes when I stay very still and avoid eye contact, they will come over and sniff me. I will carefully hold a finger out and they’ll allow me to pet their muzzle. Sometimes they bite my fingers, but I understand they're just scared of me like how I am of humans.

        I also really like pandas. Pandas are fluffy and big. I can lay down on them. I really like to hold bamboo up and feed them. I ate the bamboo once—it wasn’t good. I don’t understand why the pandas like them but it’s okay because they’re cute and it leaves more for them to eat.

        Yes, I like pandas. I like to lay on them too. I’m laying on one now! His name is Boo. I probably won’t ever see him again, but I enjoy his company, and he doesn’t seem to mind mine, so we’re friends. 

        I was laying on his stomach as he ate a stick of bamboo, grabbing another stick nearby and waiting for him to finish his food, then holding it out in front of him.

        “Do you want more?” I questioned.

        He made a funny noise. I don’t speak panda. I assume it was a yes because he took the stick and starting chewing on it. 

        “You’re feeding the panda?” a voice questioned in front of me. 

        I tilted my head back to it’s original position, seeing a demon in front of me. It wore a blue stash, having coco skin and very pretty blue eyes. It had horns sticking out of its hair that was messy and black. It was also worth noting he had this purple vein-like pattern on his forehead. They looked and sounded like a guy; he was cute, but he looked sad.

        “I am! His name is Boo. Would you like to feed him with me?” I questioned, grabbing a stick of bamboo, offering the bamboo to the demon.

        “No thanks…” the demon spoke, his face remained a frown as he looked at me.

        “Boo is very nice, right, Boo?” I questioned, tilting my head backwards to look up and rest my head on his stomach. 

        He made a noise as it took the stick, resuming his meal.

        The demon remained silent, deciding not to talk any further, however he stayed staring at me.

        “Are you okay? You look sad.” I questioned.

        Usually I’m not so kind with demons or people in general, but whenever I see something I like or enjoy—like this panda—a flip is switched in me and I turn almost childish. I’ll regret my actions for this interaction later, but I won’t see this demon again. Besides, at least he’s not trying to fight me.

        “I am sad.” The demon admitted.

        I hummed, thinking. 

        “Would you like to talk about it? I promise I won’t tell anyone. I won’t judge either.” I offered. 

        “No thanks—I don’t think you’d understand.” The demon spoke.

        “I don’t think I’d understand either.” I smiled. “I don’t understand a lot of things around me, but it’s fun to learn. I might not understand you, but I can listen to you. I like it when someone listens to me.” I explained.

        The demon hummed, thinking to himself.

        “Are you a new demon?” he questioned.

        “I am.” I spoke. “I don’t eat humans; I eat human food. I learned that bamboo is not human food.” I informed him. “I suggest not eating the bamboo, it tastes gross, but Boo likes it. I don’t exactly understand Boo...” I spoke, tilting my head up as Boo finished his stalk, making a noise for more.

        “I suppose I could tell you...” The demon sighed, watching as I picked up a nearby bamboo stalk and gave it to Boo. “I am an embodiment of an emotion, so I can only really feel that one emotion. I share a body with six other clones, so they can really upset me sometimes.” The demon explained.

        I nodded, listening intently as I grabbed a bamboo stalk, offering it to him to make him feel better. He shook his head, rejecting the stalk. I shrugged and gave it to Boo.

        “I feel that I understand. Not in this life, but in my human one.” I explained.

        “You can remember your human life?” the demon questioned, seemingly intrigued despite having that frown on his face.

        “Bits and pieces. I get information from others about me sometimes.” I spoke. “I hope you at least feel a little better with me though.” I smiled, offering him another stalk of bamboo (to which he rejected yet again).

        “I still feel sad.” He sighed.

        “Hm…” I hummed, thinking. “What do you like to do?” I questioned. “I like seeing animals, and seeing my friends, and eating human food—human food tastes really good for me, unlike this bamboo.” I explained, then motioned for him to take the bamboo stick (he ignored it). 

        I don’t understand why he won’t accept the bamboo? The bamboo is currently making me happy since I can feed Boo, and I want to share my happiness with this demon. Oh well…

        “I don’t really like much things… I don’t have the free time to do indulge in hobbies.” He spoke.

        “Why not?” I questioned. 

        “I work for the Demon King.” He explained. 

        I nodded, making a mental note as I scooted closer to him, looking into his eyes. He looked at me, seeming to be uncomfortable as he slightly leaned back as I leaned closer.

        His blue eyes said Upper Moon Four, so he's not lying. 

        “I see.” I acknowledged. “That must suck for you—or not!” I quickly spoke, nervous to offend him. “I mean, I wouldn’t quite enjoy having little free time, but I respect it if that’s what you enjoy.” I smiled, offering him a stalk of bamboo as an apology.

        “I suppose it could be worse.” He hummed, then rejected the bamboo stick.

        I nodded, not seeing the conversation going anywhere else as I crawled back to my spot, leaning back and giving Boo the bamboo instead.

        “We don’t know each other’s names.” I pointed out. 

        “What’s the point of exchanging names? We’ll probably never see each other again. How sad…” he sighed.

        “Then let’s make sure to meet up again, so it's not sad!” I smiled. “I mean, you’re fun to talk to, you haven’t tried to kill or degrade me, and you're cute too!” I admitted.

        “Huh… cute…” He muttered, testing it out, as if not believing it.

        “Yeah.” I confirmed, then looked up at the stars. “So, would you uh… like to meet here tomorrow night?” I questioned nervously.

        Why is my heart beating so fast? It’s just a question. I thought to myself.

        The demon hummed, thinking to himself. “I supposed it wouldn’t hurt…”

        “Great, it’s settled!” I exclaimed, happy to know I’ve made a friend with a powerful being as I stood up. “My name is (Y/N), it’s been lovely talking to you.”

        “I’m Aizetsu.” The demon, Aizetsu, spoke.

        “Here, have this bamboo stalk. It’s a promise that you’ll see me again.” I spoke, then realized how stupid that’d be. “Y-you don’t have to keep if it you don’t want…”

        Aizetsu looked down at the stick and me, then finally taking it from my hands.

        “(Y/N)…” he tested the name out, having my full attention. “Thank you for making me feel less sad and…” he paused, then spoke. “I think you’re cute too…” he spoke, the frown remaining on his face, but I didn’t need to see a smile to understand that he also enjoyed our time spent together.

        He walked back into the forest from where he came from, leaving me and Boo alone.

        I immediately whirled around at Boo, excited as I let out a little giggle. “Did you see how cute he was? His eyes were so pretty! And he had such a handsome voice. His personality was so relaxing and adorable!” I gushed, running up to the panda and laying on him. “You agree, don’t you?” I questioned, giving him a stick of bamboo.

        He let out a noise that showed he agreed, as he does with most things I say.

        I like a lot of things in this world. I like the human food, the animals, the clothes, the stars, the old lady Chōrō, and the blue demon named Aizetsu.

Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

[dreamlandreader]

Artistic Differences

Summery: Inspired by Feyre’s love of art, Rhysand tries to pick up a new skill in time for his mates birthday. However, despite his best efforts things don’t quite go to plan.

Warnings: N/A

A/n: This is the first fic I’ve ever posted, but there is surely no better place to start than during @officialfeysandweek2023 - this is inspired by the day 2 prompt ‘hobbies’. This is the second time I’ve posted this fic today because I got nervous that it wasn’t good enough and talked myself out of leaving it up. However, after a bit of kindness and encouragement I feel more confident to repost. ❤️

Word Count: 1459

The High Lord of the Night Court was talented in many ways. He excelled at strategic thinking having honed his mind from a young age, he was proficient in masking his true intentions from his enemies and he had earned his reputation as a fearsome and highly skilled opponent on the battlefield through his training as an Illyrian warrior. However, whilst the High Lord was an incredibly gifted male in most areas it was becoming increasingly apparent that his talents did not extend into the realms of creative genius.

“It’s awful isn’t it?” Rhysand winced, hiding his head in his hands and avoiding all eye contact with the dreadful object before him.

“It’s certainly … different,” Ressina replied, tilting her head to one side and squinting as though a different view would provide a better result. “I’m sure Feyre has nothing quite like it. That is what you wanted isn’t it? To give her something unique?”

“Yes. Unique. Not unbelievably ugly.” Rhys retorted, and then groaned as he caught sight of the object in question once more.

Rhys had been secretly meeting with Ressina for weeks. With the Winter Solstice and Feyre’s birthday quickly approaching Rhys had decided to surprise his mate with a gift she would never expect.

Whilst he still planned to lavish Feyre with the best gifts Prythian had to offer, he had also noticed that every year she seemed to favour not the most expensive gift in the pile, but the one which had the most thought put into it. It was this, which for the first time in his 500 years, had inspired Rhysand to make a something by hand.

Inspired by his mate’s love of art, Rhys had paid Ressina for private tutoring, and after deciding a vase would make a nice addition to the creations Feyre had already added to the river house, she began to to teach Rhys everything she knew about ceramics. After weeks of practice, in which Rhys realised he did not have a creative bone in his body, he was finally looking at the finished product, and it was a disaster.

The vase, if one could call it that, had a wonky rim and several dips where Rhys had nearly put his fingers through the clay in frustration. Ressina promised him that it would look better once it had been painted, but the beautiful pattern he had in his mind did not come to fruition. Instead the end result was merely a jumble of clashing colours and smudged disappointment. He could absolutely not give this to his mate.

“She’s going to hate it,” Rhys cried, finally looking Ressina in the eyes with desperation, sheer panic taking over his body. “She’ll leave me! She will take one look at it and walk out of the front door!”

Ressina rolled her eyes at that comment. This man and his dramatics.

“No she won’t. Okay it isn’t what you had in mind but you still created something out of nothing. Before you started it was a cold, bland lump of clay and now you’ve made it into something warm.”

‘Warm?’ Rhys quizzed sceptically, his dark brows furrowing in confusion.

‘Yes! Warm! You put your love into it, you breathed life into it. Feyre will love it, because she loves you.’

With Ressina’s pep talk in mind Rhys set about boxing up and wrapping the vase up in pretty paper, and left with a little more belief in his gift than he had when he first arrived at the studio. By the time he returned home however, Rhys’s new found confidence was beginning to waver, and by the time the sun woke him the next morning any residual trust in his gift giving abilities had disappeared with the night sky.

Ignoring his worry Rhys gently eased himself out of Feyre’s embrace, and tiptoed across their bedroom, carefully slipping out into the hallway towards his sons room to get him ready to surprise his mother with breakfast in bed.

Feyre awoke with a start as her excited little boy flung himself onto the bed and squealed “Happy Birthday Mama!” Nyx squealed as loud as his lungs would allow him. Before Feyre could respond, her toddler grabs her face with chubby hands, placing a sloppy birthday kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you baby!” Feyre chuckles, brushing her sons hair out of his eyes. He never looked more like his father than first thing in the morning with bleary eyes and crazy bed hair.

“Presents Mama!”

“Yes, we all get presents today don’t we, it’s Solstice remember.”

“Yeah,” he says thoughtfully, “but Daddy said you has to go first.”

‘Is that right, huh?’, Feyre asked as she began to tickle Nyx, the room filling with laughter. Rhysand watched from the doorway, grinning to himself at the look of pure joy on his mates face as she giggled with their son.

“Happy birthday darling,” Rhys said, bending down to press a kiss to the side of Feyre’s head. Placing a tray of tea and pastries on her nightstand, and dropping an armful of gifts on the end of the bed, Rhys nervously said “Hey Nyxie, why don’t you show Mama what you made her.’

After Feyre had teared up over Nyx’s finger painted card, and had adamantly put on the horrifically gaudy earrings that her son insisted Rhys must buy for her birthday, it was time for Feyre to open the main gift from her mate. Rhys tentatively passed the neatly wrapped box over and tried his best not to cringe as Feyre tore open the paper to reveal the lopsided vase.

“Oh Rhys, it’s lovely,” Feyre crooned, holding the vase at eye level and inspecting it much closer that Rhysand would have liked, “How did you manage to get this one to stay still long enough to try his hand at pottery!”

“That’s from Daddy!” Nyx stated, clearing his name of any involvement in the creation of the poorly made object. Rhys grimaced as Feyre’s eyes widened in surprise and she met his eyes.

“Yep,” Rhys declared “that one is all me.”

“Oh well it’s … it’s lovely Rhys! You made it? With your hands? From scratch?”

“Yes. I know. It’s awful, I wanted to do something special, to make something that had thought put into it,” Rhys said quietly, a rare look of insecurity on his face. “Ressina has been trying to teach me how make a damn vase for weeks, I thought you would be excited to see that I had tried my hand at art since you love it so much. But, it was clearly an incredibly stupid idea. I’m sorry, we can just throw it away, I’ll take you shopping next week to make up for it.”

“No Rhys, I love it!” Feyre replied putting the vase down and reaching for her mates hand.

“It’s fine Feyre, I know it’s atrocious, you don’t have to worry about my feelings.”

Rhys picked the vase up from Feyre’s lap and walked over to the log fire burning at the end of their bed. Just as he bent to throw his creation into the flames, his mate flew out of bed and exclaimed “RHYSAND! DON’T YOU DARE!”

Feyre threw out her water powers and doused the fire, splashing Rhys in the process and earning sounds of admiration from her son who always loved to watch his parents magic.

“Uh oh, Mama is mad at you Daddy!” giggled Nyx, as Feyre sculpted a small watery cat who instantly jumped onto her son’s lap and began to lick its paws.

“You … you really want to keep it?” Rhys said, as Feyre walked across the room to him and took the vase from his hands, placing it carefully on her vanity.

“Rhys I love it! I want to keep it.”

“But why, when it is so unsightly!”

“Do think these earrings are cute, Rhys?” Feyre whispered, pointing to the garish jewels hanging from her earlobes, whilst Nyx was distracted by purring at his new friend. “No, they aren’t! They are incredibly ugly. But I love them, because my baby picked them out for me,”

“You clearly put so much time into this gift Rhys. You put your heart into it because you knew that art is something that I care about. You took interest in it because you love me, and that is the best present anyone could ever give me.”

Leaning in Feyre wrapped her arms around Rhys, kissing him gently and sending such a rush of happiness down the bond that he thought his heart would burst.

“Mama can I open my presents now!” Nyx cried impatiently, not impressed by his parents becoming so easily distracted.

“Come on then sweetheart,” Feyre laughed, taking Rhys’s hand and walking back over to the bed, “Lets see what you’ve got.”

[lucaanis]

Give us the Ileyth and Viago thoughts you coward

welll.... if you insist !

i'll write out my silly thoughts in bullet format bc it's how i make the most sense i think.

so Basically lleyth grew up kinda idolizing viago. they thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and practically glued themself to his side, wanted to be just like him, etc. viago initially was not equipped to handle this and it made him a little distant bc he was deeply afraid of Screwing Them Up and figured that as long as he didn't let himself get too attached it would Be Fine. and then he failed step one (don't get attached)

it especially got harder to Not get attached bc lleyth was literally like. the perfect fledgling. they worked hard and they got results and they were talented and driven and intelligent, viago saw their potential early on

they finally got to bond a little bc lleyth was soooo impressed with viago's poison autism specialization and wanted him to train them so bad. it was like. the One Time viago could genuinely ramble about his area of expertise without people making fun of him or being disinterested, bc lleyth quickly took to the art of alchemy and spent a lot of time honing their skills and studying from/under viago, and it was a v symbiotic teacher/pupil relationship bc lleyth was like the One Guy who took him seriously and admired his knowledge and skill on the subject instead of just being like "ugh he's going on about his vials again...." and it definitely boosted his ego lmao

(additionally, lleyth went on to continue their alchemical studies more in-depth, branching out beyond just poisons and into bombs and traps and potions/poultices as well. they Like tinkering and experimenting a lot. but everything they know today they owe to viago)

crows gossip like a bunch of nosy bitches so lleyth kinda had a reputation in the crows for being "viago's little shadow", often going wherever he went if they could help it. they also met teia thru viago and hit it off almost instantly and have been close friends ever since

when lleyth got older (19 thru early 20s) they kinda changed. they were struggling a lot with dysphoria (not having a word for why they felt miserable all the time tho) as well as general frustrations with the crows + viago. feeling like they were being held back on purpose and constantly trying to prove themselves while being brushed off by the other talons (besides teia) + viago being distant and annoyed with their "moody youth" phase. they started to act out a little, push back at viago during arguments and take unnecessary risks during contracts or coming home drunk (lmao) that made viago worry. and it was lowkey bc they wanted someone to Say Something and talk to them but viago was Not Good at that and kinda dropped the ball and became harder on them as a result bc he thought some tough love would set them straight. as well as give him plausible deniability when accused of favoritism bc viago will NOT suffer the impression that he is soft

lleyth lowkey drives viago fucking Nuts during this stage because he sees a lot of teia in them but also a lot of himself in ways he does Not like reflected back at him. and i think he also does not like feeling like he had such a significant role in shaping this person for better or for worse, so he gets kinda weird about it

there are a lot of events that transpire here that would honestly need their own post to unpack but lleyth eventually got a title within the crows thanks to one particularly Fucked Up contract, they mellow out a lot mid-20s and transition and mature a lot.

one of lleyth's biggest fears is feeling like they disappointed/let someone down. and i think by the time lleyth leaves (against their will) with varric bc viago is trying to protect them from the other talons, lleyth kinda like. takes this the wrong way? they don't see viago being protective— they feel betrayed by him like he wanted to wash his hands clean of them because they Disappointed him. and that feeling of (perceived) rejection from someone they loved and admired their whole life hit really hard, and shook their perspective a bit. it forced them to try and figure out who they are without viago's influence and it felt like being pushed from the nest way too soon. not to mention having to leave home for a year with 2 strangers which was rly tough on them (even if they grew to be very close with varric & harding during that year)

lleyth also isn't exactly Sure how to describe their relationship with viago. honestly. because they never knew their parents, the crows are the closest thing they have to family (esp. teia and viago, which they will Say if asked bc despite whatever unresolved resentment they feel for viago they will always love him)

the best they could describe it is "the closest thing i had to a father" but even that doesn't feel true or right, bc viago was never like. paternal. but they dont know what a paternal relationship even LOOKS like, they have no basis for it— so they see viago as a vague mirage of a distant father figure, or at least what they would imagine one to be.

being told that they remind someone of viago makes them tense up. as well as people implying viago feels affection/favoritism towards them bc they genuinely do not think that is the case

but here's the fun part lmao. viago ALSO feels like he's the one who let THEM down. and telling them to leave with varric was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. and he became very crabby after they left (moreso than usual) and constantly misses and worries about them, but of course he'll never say this, because...?

and ofc if he actually DID ever tell them to their face that he missed them, worried about them, was proud of them etc it would. well. not immediately solve all of their problems but it would be a good start to mend the things that are fractured in their relationship. and if he hugged them at least once i think it would fix something nasty that's been festering inside of them for a while. unfortunately. teehee

teia of course is aware of A Lot of This and is constantly trying to push viago to pull his head out of his ass and say some genuine words of affirmation for once in his life. but it clearly isn't working so she tries to speak for him when she can, but she also knows lleyth doesn't seem to take what she says to heart and stonewalls her when she brings it up (which annoys her and amuses her greatly in equal parts because that's soooo like viago 🙄🙄🙄)

despite it all lleyth is still friendly with him, eespecially now that they're back in treviso. however if you put lleyth and viago in a room together they would sit in awkward silence so tense it kills anyone else in the proximity bc neither of them know what to say to each other anymore <3

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk 👍 if anyone actually read all of this im so sorry lmao

[crisiscutie]

Sephiroth/Domestic Darling headcanons P.2

Here’s part two of the domestic/pregnant headcanons. These are much more domestic-focused, however. I had too much fun writing these, so the special companion fic will be posted sometime soon. Read Part 1 here! NSFW headcanons here!

Truth be told, Sephiroth will never completely adjust to a normal life. Life with him won't always be a bed of roses; there will be tough times. He will look to you for the physical and emotional support to stay stable and grounded. The haunting memories from his past will forever remain in his mind. He will need a steady stream of reassurance and love.

Sephiroth will continue to hone his skills, practicing his martial arts and focusing his mind through meditation. He is a man born and bred to kill. He will kill for you and your children with no hesitation. When your children are old enough, he will teach them the way of the sword so they can be worthy protectors in their own name.

Expect to have a lengthy debate about what exact age your children will be when they learn to fight. Sephiroth believes they should learn as soon as they are able, while you think it would be better to wait much longer. You two eventually reach a compromise after a while.

While he doesn’t mind being the little spoon in general terms, he will always be the big spoon during your pregnancies. He’ll lock an arm around you and the other around your belly each night you two sleep.

Your first born was a beautiful, precious girl. When Sephiroth cradled her small body, you witnessed the most beautiful thing, a single tear falling from his slit, mako-infused eyes. 

You two decided to name her Angealica, after one of Sephiroth's lost friends...

He spends a lot of time with Angealica, while occasionally coming around to soothe your aches and pains with gentle touches as your body recovers from the birth.

Sephiroth is 100% a girl dad now. Stuff like wearing matching bunny slippers with his little girl is something he does without hesitation. He’s the one she sought comfort from during her toddler years, and the sound of his gentle voice could help ease her tantrums.

Two years later, you experienced the miracle of pregnancy again. This time with TRIPLETS. You and Sephiroth were full of excitement, but the unknown future made your stomachs flutter with nervousness. Going from one child to three was a dramatic shift. 

This time, though, he was the one to reassure you (and himself) that you guys can make it through this. 

When you had your triplets, Sephiroth was beaming with joy, like never. He took the time to hold each of your sons. He was the one to name them. 

Even though your triplets, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo are a handful over the years, you and Sephiroth have been unwavering in your commitment to keeping them and their older sister safe.

The three boys would innocently compete for your attention. It can be quite irksome at times, but you always take moments to appreciate the effort they had put into perfecting house chores. That provides so much relaxation for you and Sephiroth. 

Your four children love you and Sephiroth, but it's obvious they have their favorites, often mirroring the behavior of their other parent. 

The triplets like to follow their mama around the village, clinging to her hips with a shared sense of exploration and discovery, while your firstborn loves to curl up in her daddy's lap, often reading several stories together.

Kadaj loves to compete with your firstborn. He’s so sure of himself, never faltering in his ambition to lead the kids, despite being the littlest of the four.

When Loz is feeling overwhelmed by Yazoo and/or Kadaj's teasing, or when you're unavailable for comfort, he runs to his big sister for solace.

Yazoo frequently quizzes his big sister on the mysteries of life and other abstract topics, to which she can only guess most of the time. 

While the boys love to annoy their older sister Angealica like hell in their unique ways, they’ll be ready to defend her at any moment. These kids are inseparable.

Even though Angealica was only two years older than her brothers, she had a warmth that echoed their mother's. You swell with pride watching her take initiatives to get work done. You just know that future generations of your family will always retain Sephiroth's iron will; and his iconic silver hair, of course.

The fear of Shinra still lurks, but you know that with you and Sephiroth together, your family can face whatever comes their way.

[swordheld]

how do you think in poems? i really enjoy the tags under your posts i've always wanted to write down my own thoughts that way bc in my head they feel so thorough and magical but whenever i put it in words i feel it just gets so much flatter and i no longer see a point and give up

oh oh oh, but lovely, can't you see that you've already started? it's a perspective that you hone, over time, something that is specific to you and you alone – that's the piece of it that makes it so special! you've already begun, and it only goes forward, up, sideways from here, wherever you wish to go!

think of it like a skill, for a moment, or a kind of muscle, if you'd prefer. you have to work at it, with it, over time and differing experiences, in order to progress.

(a quick important note: not progression as in the kind of quality-check of a grading scale, but progression as in evolution. shifting change. think of the leaves and their colors across the months of autumn, or temperatures rising with the sun and cooling with the evening dark. change isn't intrinsically a qualifying thing, it can just be, sometimes. this is difficult to remember, especially in the midst of frustration, but it is worth it. you are always doing better than you think you are – harshest critic, and all that.)

which is not to say that it's a simple thing to do! compare this to the vibe of me picking up crochet recently, with my shaking hands and too-quickly dwindling adhd focus – my first attempts at making a lil headphone sprout have not been going as well as i once hoped. my stitches are either too big and sloppy bc i'm not holding the yarn tightly enough to get clean ones, or i feel frustrated due to it not looking like how i'd like it to look in my mind when i started it, or even as i begin my umpteenth attempt.

but!! i know that it won't ever look the way i want it do if i set it down and never keep trying. it'll take awhile, like everything does, even the seasons take their time, the moon and its phases; but what i do know, is that, eventually, it'll resemble something i want it to. vaguely, maybe, but it is something. it doesn't have to look exactly like the guide i'm following, or the examples i'm inspired by, because it's mine – something made by my own hands, my own time and experience with every mistake and thrilling joy along the way to learn by.

take it from me: i want to be good at things i want to be good at so badly. and that excitement makes me want to be at the skill level i need to be at in order to do so right then and there, no learning curves or building blocks allowed. which is never how it happens, unfortunately, but –

i think, gently, that we tend to overlook what a pleasure it is to learn. to see the slow progression of things, to begin and change and continue and get better. and even if it's different as we go along, in a way it's our own little kind of magic, maybe, to create and never be done if we don't want to be.

which is all to say: it's already yours. why does it have to be anything else, anything more? why can't it just be good as it is now, where it might never be again? what is there to lose by enjoying the moment of where you are?

like everything, it will grow and shift and evolve with time, maybe into something you'd hoped for, or maybe into something you don't even have the words to describe right now at all. but that's the fun of it: how even now, even then, there, across time and distance and skill, there is a common thread of things; it will always come from your heart, your experience, where you are right then and there and now.

and if you think of that like magic, well, it becomes a little like magic, doesn't it?

also, something to consider: sometimes things you feel or think can't be put into words at that moment, or even at all! something else you could try (that i certainly do) is making something else with whatever it makes you feel - whether that's another form of art, or any other kind of media. if it makes you want to go outside and take a walk or get cozy and read or play a video game? that counts too! that's still an experience, you're still feeling.

i think that counts a little more than anything else, you know?

and as a little ending fun side-note, can i share something cool? i've never thought of it that way before, as thinking in poems. in my mind it's always been a kind of perspective of personal wonder, but you're right – it's poetry, in it's own way. you gave me that – so thank you, from the heart of me. i hope your journey finds you with every bright joy.

[quibbs126]

for the fankid requests,,, perhaps darkrasp?

Oh lord IT’S FINALLY DONE

I finished this like a month ago, still forgot to post him. I’ll try doing that now

“Within the gardens of Chateau Raspberry, one may find this black and white Cookie training vigorously to hone his skills. Born of chocolate, a generous amount of whipped cream, and raspberries in place of normal cherries, it isn’t uncommon for others to not recognize that he is part of the noble House Raspberry. Because of this, Black Forest Cookie has resolved to work twice as hard to improve his skills, to show that he is the embodiment of House Raspberry’s ardor and skill, and that he will carry on their legacy.”

“He wonders about his father’s past.”

Sorry this wasn’t a very good description. I just wasn’t sure how to word it and make it look good. I need to read more descriptions to get better at this (also writing this descriptions is kind of the reason I’ve been putting off posting these)

My ideas for him is that he’s a swordsman, wants to live up to House Raspberry and particularly his mother’s legacy, and while he gets along with his father, he knows very little about his past (since here Dark Choco doesn’t really talk about it much, he never went and worked things out with his dad). Also he’s a bit of an introvert and just wants to sword fight and read books, but I didn’t know how to work in that last bit without it sounding weird

Anyways, design notes time

So the name Black Forest comes from Black Forest cake, since that was the closest thing I could think of that combines chocolate and raspberries, even though black forest cake is made with cherries. For a time I was considering using Raspberry Jam instead, but then I went back to Black Forest

Black forest cake:

I admit, he looks like he’s from the 1700s or something. Granted, I don’t think that’s too out of place in the Hollyberry Kingdom

The hair I remember being something I struggled with for a while, until I kind of settled on this for his hair. I’ll be honest, the sketch I did up top really helped me get a good idea for his design and finally finish it (granted that was a couple months ago)

I had always wanted to give him a white outfit, since Dark Choco and Raspberry both have costumes in white, and I was able to do that here

I’m sorry, this is a bad post (I’m talking description wise, the art itself I don’t think is too bad). I designed him a long time ago, I’m not good at writing the character descriptions, and frankly I’m just writing this because I feel like I just have to get it out and actually post these requests. So I’m just gonna stop now, hopefully next one I post I’ll be able to write a better description, and I hope you like…whatever coherent stuff you can find here, and his design I guess

[morb-untamed]

Writer Interview Tag

I was tagged by @tavyliasin a pretty long time ago to do this, but I figured I'd finally get to it. Thank you so much for tagging me Lia, I'll try to answer these questions to the best of my abilities! Your interview was as delightful as it was insighting to read. I tag @miradelletarot and @likethelightfromorionabove. But no pressure to fill this at all! This text contains some descriptions of mental illness, and some pretty personal stuff. I don't get into the nitty-gritty of these subjects, but I still wanted to give a heads-up.

When did you start writing?

I cannot really put an exact date to when I started to write to be exact - as I have been imagining and writing stories for as long as I can remember. I know when I was a little child I was writing down stories even though I could barely make an interesting string of words. Unsurprisingly enough, they were about horror and fantastical creatures. So not much has changed in that regard.

Although writing has never been my #1 passion, that goes to drawing. But it has been a constant in my entire life with intervals. Before I actively started writing fanfiction I hadn't written anything creatively for over 6 years I believe! Before that I always tried to create original stories with original characters.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

This is a hard question to answer, as I have such a hard time reading in comparison to writing. I have ADHD, and either have to struggle to even attempt to finish a page in a book, or read a 500 page novel in one go. There's no in between! Although I have noticed I like to read the same themes and genres as I write about, even if it is to learn about said themes and genres and how to write them. I do have a whole collection of books, but they're mostly about art, art history, plants, nature, flowers, and some comics. Other than that I really like to get more into Warhammer 40k novels, mostly because I really like dark fantasy/sci-fi. I also really want to read more fantasy erotica books, horror (gore, paranormal, and anything that sends chills down my spine), and anything about real life mysteries!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Sometimes I say that the things I want to write about are far above my actual writing skills. This rings true for this question as well - as many of my writing friends know, English isn't my native language even though that's the language I write my stories in. I feel like I am far better at conveying my thoughts and emotions into writing in the English language rather than Dutch (and I think it's kinda cringy to write fanfiction in my native tongue to be honest). But this does mean my vocabulary can be lacking any diverse words at times, and grammar can be confusing at times. Thankfully I have a space where people want to help me out, and that thesaurus.com is free.

With that being said, I don't really aim to emulate any other writers. I have come across some amazing writers who post on AO3 who inspire me, but for now I'd like to hone my writing skills and see where my style takes me.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have my own 'work' room in my home I used to write from, but ever since busting my knee even further last May I have found myself to be far more comfortable on the couch so I can keep my leg straight. It also happens to be the calmest place during the times I tend to write the most - which ranges from 8 pm to the early morning hours. But for my own sake I try to not keep it as late as I used to the past few months. Mainly because I don't want to mess up my biological clock too much while I'm stuck at home healing from surgery as of right now.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It really depends on my mood, what's happening in my personal life, and how inspired I feel at the same time. I always try to make myself as comfortable as I can, and tend to my needs first; am I too hot? Too cold? Do I have coffee, am I hydrated enough, and aren't there too many distractions around me? Sometimes, when I really want to write but feel like I can't I sometimes take my ADHD medication which does the trick. But I only take it if I am sure I feel good both mentally and physically as it can have averse effects if I don't.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Trauma, angst, inner conflict, and even more trauma! Trauma comes in many forms, expressions, and manifestations. And I am not surprised at all I am writing about it. I am surprised about how much catharsis I experience from writing it, and how often I ended up writing about these themes. You might not be shocked to read that I suffer from C-PTSD and anxiety with some depression on the side. I have dealt with mental illness and traumatic events for most of my life, and it feels like I have some form of control and acceptance if I write about them in my own writing, especially in my fanfiction. With that being said, I have never really written my own specific traumatic events into my writing as that's a bit too much. But they often fall in the same themes, like SA, physical and emotional abuse from family, witnessing horrible events, self-destruction, manipulation, and having to make awful decisions in order to protect yourself. I relate heavily to them, and in some ways it gives me some closure.

What is your reason for writing?

The biggest reason is that I felt this growing need and compulsion to write something specifically I wanted to read about. I have always written for myself, and will continue to do so. This rings especially true for fanfiction, which is also a reclamation for my own wants and needs. I have always wanted to write fanfiction, but for the longest time it was labeled as cringe and stupid in the circles I found myself in. I was so shy and embarrassed of what I wanted to write (and draw) about, so I have never truly been active in a fandom. I was a lurker at most, too scared to show where my imagination and creativity takes me about certain characters - let alone about my own OC's. But thankfully I grew far more comfortable in that ever since stepping foot in the BG3 community, where your OC is literally a part of the story if you want them to be! I remember @tavyliasin and some others literally had to beg me to link them to Weeping Willow as I was so scared of judgement even though I very well know they wouldn't ever make fun of me. Ever since then I have become what one might describe as unhinged in a sense. I have reclaimed being cringe, and happily yap about my oc's, canon characters, in any smutty, angsty and dumb scenario I can come up with. I am not hurting anyone, and I am having fun. And that's what's most important.

But I do admit I still sometimes struggle with the embarrassment of writing fanfiction. I still sometimes get laughed at by friends outside of the internet when I tell them about it, along with being made fun of because of it. But I try to stand my ground, always saying that they can laugh what they want, and rather make them feel weird for making fun of me having fun. It is still a process, but it is a part of reclaiming my love for myself and thus claiming space for myself.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Honestly? My work doesn't get that much attention at all, so when it does I am beyond elated and often screenshot and save any comments I get on AO3, discord, or tumblr to look back on. But I especially love any comments from readers who are as unhinged about my writing as I am - give me all the caps lock and keysmashing!!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Like I said before, I don't have a lot of readers. But I do hope that those who do actively read my work think "Wow, this person really cares about the characters they write about.". I want them to remember me by my passion, weather that's from a heartbreaking scenario, an insanely detailed smut chapter, or something that sparks fire of anger within them as they read about it. That despite my shortcomings in language and ability to describe what I see in my head, they see the love and effort I put into it.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Like I mentioned in the previous question, I truly believe my passion for wanting to put the images I have floating in my head into words to share it with others is what I think is my greatest strength. I never really try to leave anything for the imagination. Aside from that, I think my other strength is that I try no matter my shortcomings. I have heard before that I am very much persevering when it comes to my goals.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

While I always try to keep in mind what a potential reader might like to read, I usually stick to what I want to read about. As I mentioned before, I started writing again for me, and to reclaim it as a form of self-love.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Honestly? I often feel like I suck at writing, no matter the love I put into it. Even though I know I have improved massively (sometimes I reread the very first chapter of Weeping Willow to see how far I've come), I never feel good enough. I am aware that that's because I'm insanely critical of myself to a torturous degree - something I have to overcome as well. I often feel like I "might as well not do it if I am not the best at something" knowing very well I am never going to be the best at anything as that's not how the world works. But that takes me back that I'm doing this for myself, not for a prestigious title, an award, or recognition from those at the top in this field of writing. Although I do admit I love any validation I get. But reminding myself that I'm doing this for myself, that there is no repercussions if I quit except for regret and that same need to realise my stories into actualisation that made me write in the first place. So I have to keep going, so I won't drive myself crazy with the sense of unfulfilment.

Thank you so much for reading if you've come this far, I feel like these questions were very much needed to remind myself why I'm writing and received motivation to get over any blockades I have as of now. So sad I'm too tired to write right now though :')