#but are they GOOD for each other the whole time? absolutely not

[whetstonefires]

Thinking about the parallels set up between Wei Wuxian and Mo Xuanyu, and how actually most of them are oddly specious.

The sketch of the backstory lines up, but on close examination they're mirror images.

Wei Wuxian wasn't kicked out of his sect, he left it. Wei Wuxian didn't hate the house he grew up in, he loved it, and getting the people there killed was the absolute last purpose for which his dark powers were ever intended.

Jiang Cheng was no Mo Ziyuan--his jealousy was a complicated thing all twisted up with love, and while he would lash out at Wei Wuxian both as a casual means of shit communication and more damagingly in moments of high tension, he had neither the desire nor the ability to bully him, and in general respected his boundaries almost too well.

When Wei Wuxian destroyed himself about Jiang Cheng, it was to give him cultivation, and protect his life and happiness. He would never have killed him.

Madam Yu was a domineering aunt-like figure, who hated Wei Wuxian for reasons of reputation, and because she had resented his dead mother, but she crucially did not have the power to actually disrupt his lifestyle to any significant extent.

Mo Xuanyu was shut up in a small room to rot; Wei Wuxian didn't even attend classes unless he wanted to. Mo Xuanyu was weak and disliked; Wei Wuxian was brilliant and popular.

Mo Xuanyu's uncle is a cipher of a figure, without character or agency, a nonentity who is resented to death apparently mostly for what he didn't do; in theory he is the master of the house, but he certainly never protected his wife and son's punching bag from them.

And this is what got me thinking along this track: because people keep interpreting Jiang Fengmian as this, as exactly like Mo Xuanyu's nameless uncle, a nonentity who lets his wife make all the decisions, and is contemptible therefore.

He shows up in fic characterized this way all the time, handled narratively as a gap rather than a person, an absence where there should have been a parent, and it's...totally inaccurate? The man only has a few scenes but the things that are most firmly established about him are:

he regularly goes out of his way to protect Wei Wuxian

he's extremely fond of Wei Wuxian

he cares a lot about ethical behavior

he's conflict-avoidant and gentle

he can and will overrule Yu Ziyuan when he's made up his mind, and there's nothing she can do about it

his communication skills are mediocre at best

he doesn't understand jiang cheng

he has a dumb sense of humor

Now almost none of this made it into cql besides point 4 and maybe 6, 5 is technically there but buried by the cinematic framing, so I totally get why the fandom on the whole struggles to characterize him well, and it's easier to write him off.

But it keeps bugging me to see him and Yu Ziyuan squashed into the mold of the Mo, because not only is that boring and reductive and kind-of-missing-the-point, it's like. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's characterization suffers a lot when you alter the environment and take away the influence exerted by their shared father figure.

Jiang Fengmian was Wei Wuxian's primary adult role model and it shows.

Jiang Cheng's relationship to his own sense of ethics is fraught because 'teaching him good ethics' was his dad's number one parenting goal, but they misunderstood each other so badly (partly because Yu Ziyuan kept loudly misinterpreting them to each other, which is so realistic I can't get over it, that's exactly how it works good lord) that Jiang Cheng has a direct association between the concept of 'doing the right thing even when it's hard' and a feeling of personal inadequacy.

The fact that Wei Wuxian got their dad-person's approval for being exactly himself and Jiang Cheng not only couldn't do that, he couldn't even get that same level of approval when he really pushed himself to rise to expectations, because Jiang Fengmian did not intend that warmth as a 'reward,' and so never realized he was withholding it, and therefore misunderstood Jiang Cheng's visible jealousy as a dangerous sense of personal entitlement that had to be carefully restrained, which reinforced his distrust of Jiang-Cheng-the-person and fed into a shitty loop where they were less and less able to relate to one another--that's fantastic. That's so human! I love it so much.

Both their failures are their own but at the same time it would never have gotten so bad if Yu Ziyuan hadn't been interjecting herself in there, in the middle of their relationship, fucking it up. That's family, baby.

I would ofc like if there was more fic engaging with the subtleties of all this because it's so good, mxtx did such elegant work here and it is not sufficiently appreciated. But it's the kind of thing that's hard to write good fic about; I am struggling with it myself.

So mostly I wish there was just more fic that didn't impose Mo Xuanyu's cliche angst backstory on Wei Wuxian, who has a whole different thing going on.

[flwrkid14]

Tim Drake, Cheerleader Extraordinaire

Okay, hear me out: Tim deciding to try out for the college cheerleading team.

It starts out as a joke. Maybe Danny and Tim are at one of Danny’s football games, and Tim’s casually making some witty comment about the cheer routines. Danny, of course, being the chaotic boyfriend he is, goes, “Bet you couldn’t do half of that.”

Oh? well then, challenge accepted.

Tim’s been training for years—gymnastics, acrobatics, fighting crime on the regular—it’s not like a few flips and jumps are going to be any trouble for him. Plus, there’s something about the high-energy, peppy atmosphere that lowkey appeals to Tim. The chance to just let loose for a bit? Why not?

So, Tim being Tim, fully commits to the idea. He starts practicing routines, learning the cheers, and by the time tryouts roll around, he’s ready. Danny’s all supportive, of course, sitting in the bleachers with the biggest grin because this is Tim we’re talking about, and he’s about to blow everyone’s minds.

And he does.

The other cheerleaders? Absolutely shook. Tim’s out there pulling off flips, doing perfect jumps, and landing everything like he’s been doing this for years. He even throws in some crazy acrobatics just for the fun of it. Needless to say, Tim makes the team—no one can argue with those skills.

Then comes the uniform. The iconic moment.

Most of the men on the team wear shorts, but Tim, being Tim, decides to rock the skirt version of the uniform because why not? He likes the look, it’s more flexible, and he might as well commit to the whole look as well. And besides, he’s Tim Drake. He’s not going to let gender norms stop him from looking fabulous.

Cue Danny absolutely losing it.

Like, Danny was supportive before, but now? Oh no, now he’s flustered beyond reason. He didn’t expect this level of power move from Tim. When Tim shows up to the next game, wearing the cheerleading skirt, looking ridiculously good with those legs, flipping around with that same cool confidence—Danny can’t handle it. His brain? Fried. He can’t even focus on the game because every time Tim moves, Danny’s heart skips about three beats.

There’s a part of Danny that’s just beaming with pride because that’s his boyfriend out there, but there’s also this tiny, flustered part of him that’s a little jealous too. Now the whole campus gets to see how freaking amazing Tim looks in that cheer uniform, and Danny’s like, “Great, now I have to share this sight with the rest of the world.”

Tim, of course, notices. He can see Danny getting distracted on the field, shooting him these flustered glances, and Tim just smirks. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and if wearing the skirt gets that kind of reaction from his boyfriend, he’s definitely keeping it.

The best part? After the game, when Danny finally gets a chance to pull Tim aside. He’s trying to play it cool, but it’s obvious that he’s still a little jealous and way too flustered. He wraps Tim in his varsity jacket, tugging him close and muttering something about how now everyone gets to see Tim like that—but then immediately follows it up with a kiss because he’s still Danny and loves every second of it.

And Tim? He’s living for it. The cheerleading, the attention, Danny’s flustered reactions—it’s all just too good. Now, every game, Tim rocks that skirt uniform, flips and cheers like the pro he is, and Danny’s just the supportive (and slightly jealous) boyfriend watching from the field.

They’re the campus couple—the star quarterback and his cheerleader boyfriend, always hyping each other up, and now, every time Danny looks over at Tim mid-game, he’s reminded that, yep, Tim’s his, skirt and all.

[frommybookbook]

Earlier today, some friends and I were discussing one of those Star Trek captains memes. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that pit the captains against each other with pithy descriptions that glorify and champion the men and shit on Janeway. The ones where Picard is describe as the wise teacher and scholarly diplomat; Kirk is the brave trailblazer and lovable rogue; Sisko is the take-no-shit commander and more-than-human uniter; Archer is the quick thinking explorer and the avenging do-gooder; Pike is the empathetic Boy Scout and the quippy everyman…and Janeway is an irrational murderer and erratic loose canon. And, as usual, I went on a bit of a rant. They (looking at you @redsesame, @epersonae, and @emi--rose) told me to share it here so, if you trudge through this whole thing, blame them.

Does Janeway make some questionable decisions throughout VOY (Prodigy!Janeway is a different conversation for another time)? Yes, absolutely. But here’s the thing: every captain does. What I still love about her though and will champion until I'm blue in the face is that Janeway owns her decisions more than I think any other captain does.

Picard and Kirk hide behind the Prime Directive a lot. That's the reasoning Picard gives for not interfering in the drug running in “Symbiosis” and leaving the Ornarans trapped in dependence on the abusive Brekkans. His line, “Beverly, the Prime Directive is not just a set of rules. It is a philosophy, and a very correct one. History has proved again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well-intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous." is a cop-out we hear from him time and time again, especially to Dr. Crusher, as she is the one who most often calls him on his bullshit.

Kirk does the same thing. We still this when he leaves Shanna and the other thralls behind in "The Gamesters of Triskelion" and when he forces Elaan of Troyius into a marriage she clearly doesn't want because it's "for a greater good." And all the while, he's got Spock at his side giving him confirmation bias that he's following regulations.

And Sisko, Sisko makes some of the most horrific and destructive decisions of any captain and uses not only the Prime Directive to fall back on, but he's got the Dominion War to blame. He poisons an entire planet to get back at one man he feels betrayed him in "For the Uniform" and don't even get me started on his actions in "In the Pale Moonlight".

Enterprise is so unjustly shat on by the fandom that I almost hate to bring some of Archer's questionable choices into this conversation but I'm going to do it anyway. Similar to Sisko and the Dominion War, Archer has the threat of the Xindi in his back pocket to excuse some of his worst behavior. If Tuvix is the worst thing people can point to for Janeway, then we have to talk about Archer and Sim, the simbiont created solely to be a living tissue donor for an injured Trip, a procedure that will kill the living, breathing, sentient Sim. Archer orders Sim created against the arguments made by Dr. Phlox. He rationalizes his decision with the same argument for the greater good that we see from all the others. He says to T'Pol before Sim is created "…we've got to complete this mission. Earth needs Enterprise. Enterprise needs Trip. It's as simple as that." And it doesn't end there. When Sim is grown enough for the procedure and has figured out what's going to happen to him, he challenges Archer himself, arguing for his own right to live, and Archer sticks to his guns. This exchange directly between Archer and Sim is haunting.

Archer: I must complete this mission; and to do that, I need Trip. Trip! I'll take whatever steps necessary to save him. Sim: Even if it means killing me? Archer: Even if it means killing you. Sim: You're not a murderer. Archer: Don't make me one.

Not only do all of these captains (except Archer, who arguably writes the damn thing himself at the end of the series) have the Prime Directive to fall back on, they also have Starfleet/the Federation/Vulcan High Council right there on speed dial to validate their choices and hear their excuses and give them another commendation. They all know that ultimately, they can turn to someone higher in command to turn to for help.

Janeway is alone. She is alone with her crew 70,000 lightyears from home with only her training and her own moral compass to guide her. Yes, she claims the Prime Directive a lot but she also goes with what she feels is right and she is clear about that with her crew. When she makes the decision to split Tuvix, despite what everyone else says, she sticks to it and more importantly, does the procedure herself. Picard would have forced Beverly to do it, saying Doctor I gave you an order, your conscience be damned, and Archer does the same to Phlox with Sim, but Janeway takes the tool out of the Doctor's hand and says it's my call, I'll do it. When everyone is angry and mad about her destroying the Caretaker's array, she stands up for her decision and says yes, I did it, because it's what my Starfleet training said to do AND because I think it was the right thing and it's on me to make the hard choices.

She also can admit when she made the wrong decision, which isn't something we see from the other captains. In the season 5 opener, "Night", we see her in a depressive state because she's questioning her decision to effectively strand her crew in the Delta quadrant but she comes out of it when she's reminded by her senior staff that the crew believes in her and trusts her, she should do the same for herself. When the Doctor has a mental crisis in "Latent Image" after questioning his own choice to save the life of Harry Kim over that of another crew member, Janeway admits she did the wrong thing by first deleting his memories of it so he could get back to work and then sits with him for days while he works through it because that's what captains do.

And she does all of this without the backup and support of Starfleet. She doesn't have anyone higher on the chain of command. She's 70,000 miles away from the admiralty and her support system. There's no one higher than her to give her a break from making every decision.

To quote my fellow Missourian Harry Truman, for Janeway the buck stops with her in a way it doesn't for any other captain and she is painfully aware of that and owns that and that is why I love her and she's my captain.

[cheesus-doodles]

i was thinking about a fluffy sleepover with bf kazutora…he’s so cute

happy birthday tory!! also no kazutora bday goods??

Masterlist

‎‎

With BFF Kazutora, even if he isn't yandere (in my opinion, that would be a miracle in itself), think extremely, extremely clingy. But let's say it froze in hell and this is normal non-yandere BFF Kazutora.

‎‎

12 years past Kazutora would be absolutely delighted by your suggestion of a sleepover at your place. Yes sure, he had been in your bedroom multiple times before, this boy has even napped and cuddled with you previously. It's not even his first sleepover - you're his bestfriend, no doubt Kazutora has already spent countless nights over at your place, be it whether he just doesn't want to go home or for convenience.

When he turns up with snacks, you already have his set of favorite matching PJs ready for him to change into after he showers (of course you do), and there's definitely some kind of routine the two of you always follow when it comes to sleepovers.

First off, shower and change. Then right after, it's TV time. Always TV time.

The two of you will line an area of the floor of your room with pillows and plushies to make a comfy fort, following which you will put on whatever show it is you want to watch. You get to watch one show, and then Kazutora gets to pick one, and the two of you would be happy to eat snacks and sip on hot chocolate in silence. This Toman delinquent will always swear up and down that the hot chocolate you make is unbeatable, so every sleepover now includes one (1) mandatory cup (if not he will cry and say you hate him).

After that, if there is homework to be done for the next day, you will usually work with Tory to get that sorted out. But be it whether there is or isn't, during this time is usually when you two start chatting about whatever it is that happened during the day. Neither you nor Kazutora ever keep secrets from each other, so even though you disapprove of him getting into fights, the yellow and black haired boy will still tell you about all the fights he got into that day, and in return, you will tell him about your classes and the freshest classroom gossip.

Finally, the last step before actually going to sleep always has to be pillow fight. It will always start out of nowhere, with sometimes you ambushing Kazutora with a whack to the back of his head as he is returning to your room from the bathroom, and other times Tory taking it upon himself to end homework time prematurely by smothering you with a giant plush.

And you two don't pull any punches when it comes to pillow fights. Free-for-all, the two of you hurling plushies and pillows at each other from across the room, giggling and laughing as you tried to dodge the missile aimed straight for you from the other and vice versa.

Kazutora always sleeps in your bed. This boy won't be sleeping anywhere else but right next to you in the same bed. Suggesting other alternatives will only earn you the kicked puppy look and a huge crying tantrum if the former doesn't work, the whole yard. Contrary to popular belief, this boy is actually super fussy about where he sleeps, the type of bed and pillows he likes etc, everything you, as his bestfriend, would already know.

So you always makes sure to fluff up his pillow, tuck him in and give him a kiss on his forehead before you snuggle in yourself, and the minutes left before you fall asleep would be spent reassuring this poor boy that yes you really were his bestfriend, and that no, you didn't plan on breaking this friendship ever. Because even if the two of you have been friends for years on end and been through thick and thin together, Kazutora is just simply to insecure to ever believe anyone would want to stick by him.

And this boy can grip. Clamps on to you in his sleep and absolutely will not let go whatsoever, so if he hasn't woken by the time you need to head to school, you can forget about it.

‎

12 years Timeskip Kazutora is a lot more mentally stable and confident in his relationships, but that doesn't mean that he is any less attached at the hip when it comes to you. Still loves sleepovers as much as he did as a kid, and takes every opportunity to do so whenever your schedule permits (because let's be real, you were the more responsible of the two and had a real, grown-up job). Sometimes its arranged, sometimes its impromptu when Kazutora feels the urge to, and he would just roll up and stroll in like he owns the place, if he didn't already all but move in with you.

Any sleepover still follows the same exact steps as twelve years prior, and he still has a favorite set of sleepover PJs that matches with yours. Though you were usually more than happy to accommodate your Tory, he isn't exactly the person with the best habits, and you sometimes find yourself having to take the next day off work because you had a sudden sleepover sprung on you.

A walking radiator who prefers to sleep shirtless, still loves to snuggle with you and his sleep habit of clamping on to you and never letting go has not let up, which is one of the main reasons you try to dodge weekday sleepovers. Kazutora is the ultimate enabler though, encouraging you to take the time off and spend the time with him, and usually has to be disciplined with a (loving) smack to the back of his head.

Still will cry if he doesn't get his hot chocolate or you don't tuck him in and kiss him on the forehead, so this boy never really did grow up much.

[oliversrarebooks]

a good grade in being brainwashed: wants and needs

Masterlist

tw: pet whump, bbu-adjacent, dehumanization, conditioning, references to drugging, references to dubcon

He was getting a good grade in being brainwashed, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

"He seems a little clingy, though."

B211's heart sank into his knees. He knew that was one of the absolute worst things a prospective owner could say about him, the very thing his handlers had spent so much time trying to train out of him. Don't cling. Don't be needy. Be affectionate, but only when your owner desires it. Be silent and still and obedient otherwise.

Don't be needy. Don't need. Don't want. Wants are for people. Your only wish is to please your owner.

He didn't miss the nasty glare that the salesman shot him before putting his customer service smile back on his face. "Yes, this one is very affectionate, which isn't to everyone's taste. Perhaps you'd be more interested in this Romantic…"

B211 fought down the whine in his throat as the customer removed her hand from his chin and walked over to one of the other Romantics, A797. He watched as A797 flawlessly executed each position, all with a smile that was just loving enough without seeming desperate. Just the way they'd all been taught.

God, B211 hated him.

B211 knew he could be the best Romantic in this whole damn showroom, if only he could be given a chance. He'd worked so hard at his training and conditioning, absorbing everything thrown at him, always striving to be the best in the room. He knew his quality -- he was eager to please any sort of master in any way they wished, ready and willing to become whatever they wanted him to be. Their lover, their fantasy, their toy, their shoulder to cry on. He was confident he could do it all.

And yet, here he was, left in the lurch yet another day. If things didn't look up, he'd spend another night in his cold bunk. Another night where his training headphones whispered to him about how much he craved touch and affection. Another day where he had to fight down his cravings so he didn't scare off potential owners. Another failure, another denial.

It was enough to make him want to pull his hair out, if that wouldn't absolutely ruin his appeal.

"I think I'm going to talk to your handler about another course of conditioning. I don't know how it's possible, but you've still got too much willfulness in that head of yours."

B211 scrambled down into a kneel, touching his head to the floor, as soon as he realized that the salesman was addressing him. "My sincere apologies, sir. I will endeavor to do better," he said, reciting one of his hundreds of programmed phrases.

"I can tell when a pet's more concerned with his own needs instead of the customer's," said the salesman disdainfully. "Honestly, you could probably do with another round on the Drip, wash that right out of your head. I think that's what I'm gonna recommend."

"Yes, sir," said B211, his inner elbow twinging with the feel of a phantom needle. He knew very well that he should accept whatever medication, training, or punishment he was given, as it was all to make him a better pet. But he hated the way the Drip made him feel, the way his mind was so slow and dim now, compared to --

No, that wasn't right. His mind had always been slow and dim. That's why he was well suited to being a pet. That's what they'd told him, why he'd signed up. He was slow, and dim, and unable to cope with life, unable to pretend to be a person. So he'd done the right thing and signed up. Instead of an endless cycle of pain and disappointment, he'd receive unconditional love and affection from an owner who truly wanted him. All he had to do was follow his training. Simple instructions. Practice these poses. Recite these mantras. Speak politely. Let go of your wants. Let go of your needs. Be perfect.

That was all he had to do.

He didn't actually remember signing up, of course, because the Drip had erased his memories (how many times). It was best for a pet to not remember (what didn't they want him to remember) so he could be blank and empty for his owner to fill with love (what was he before he was blank).

(was he ever loved)

He shouldn't be thinking those thoughts. That's why he wasn't getting bought. Stupid, stupid.

"Well, B211? Do you have a problem with that?" the salesman demanded, pulling him back to reality.

"No, sir."

"Oh, I think you do. I can tell you have something to say. Out with it."

It was a trap. It was always a trap. He'd fallen into it before, he thought, although his memories of those times were hazy and tinged with pain. "I think whatever you and my handler decide for me would be best, sir."

He was being hauled upwards by his shirt, the salesman glaring down at him. "That's your problem. You shouldn't think. You should just get it right."

B211's mind searched for a better answer. Slow, too slow. "I want whatever training I'm given, sir. I want to be the best possible pet for my owner. I trust in my handlers to make me the best pet I can be."

"Better," he sneered.

The ring of a bell indicated another customer had arrived, sparing B211 the salesman's wrath for now. This particular salesman always liked to take it out on the pets when they weren't selling like he thought they should be.

All he wanted was to be touched and loved. Wasn't that what he had signed up for? He couldn't remember, of course, but that's the only thing it could have been. Why didn't anyone see that? Why didn't anyone pick him?

Maybe the salesman was right. Maybe he should go back on the Drip. He was thinking too much. Of course he was right -- his handlers always knew what was best for him.

"Oh, I'm not sure a Romantic is what I'm looking for, exactly," said a voice that was so strangely familiar. "I don't need -- I mean, I don't really have those kinds of needs."

B211 strained to hear the conversation in the other room, beyond the curtain separating the Romantic showroom from the rest of the pet store. That voice. He didn't know why, but wanted to hear more of that voice.

"There are a lot of unfortunate misconceptions about Romantics, and I'd say that the primary one is that they're only for sex," said the salesman. "That's absolutely not the case -- maybe ten years ago, but modern Romantics are so much more. They actually have much of the same programming as our platonic Companions, and even some Domestic capabilities. They're the perfect choice for a busy man who wants a little love in his life."

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look at them…"

The customer pushed aside the curtain leading to the Romantic showroom, and B211's heart stopped.

The man was tall and broad-shouldered, with dark skin and darker curls, and large, sparkling eyes that he could get lost in. He was handsome, very much so, but that wasn't what caused B211's breath to catch in his throat -- he saw many handsome customers. No, there was something about this one that ran deeper than his looks. B211 was seized with an inexplicable, undeniable desire -- this man absolutely had to buy him. This man should be his owner.

(But pets weren't supposed to have desires.)

The customer was staring at B211, too, but not in the way he would prefer. He looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend that one," said the salesman. "He's a bit more high maintenance than our other Romantics, and you're looking for a pet that's very independent, right? I'm sure a lawyer doesn't have that much time to spend entertaining a pet, which is why I'm going to recommend this model…"

The customer, the lawyer, let himself be pulled away from B211's case, and B211 was filled with bubbling rage towards the salesman. Something flashed in his mind, a memory, perhaps, of fighting, of kicking and screaming, of having to be held down by four people as the IV was inserted into his arm --

No, that wasn't right. That wasn't right at all. He couldn't hate the salesman, or the handlers, who only wanted the best for him. If the lawyer wasn't a good fit…

He swallowed the lump in his throat. Why was this so important? He'd been passed up by so many people, what was one more to him?

B211 couldn't help but watch the lawyer out of the corner of his eye. Perhaps it was his imagination, but he seemed bored with the other models the salesman was showing him. Distracted. He glanced back at B211, who quickly lowered his eyes to the floor.

"I think I have just the right fit for you!" said a bubbly saleswoman, emerging from the front of the store. She was leading along a man in a slouchy t-shirt and jeans, who was looking around the Romantics showroom in awe, as though he'd never seen so many pets. The saleswoman stopped in front of B211's case. "He's a refurb, so he's available at a discount! He's very affectionate and quite intelligent for a pet."

"Well, he's not bad looking," said this new customer. "Pet, introduce yourself."

B211 snapped to practiced attention. "Hello, sir, my designation is B211, and I'm a Romantic designation with additional Companion training. I enjoy cooking, old movies, and cuddling, and I'm always open to new adventures!"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. He's not really my type. I was hoping for something a little more… demure, do you have anything like that?"

"Certainly, sir, right this way!"

Normally, B211 would be devastated at losing another prospective buyer, but this time, all he could think about was the lawyer. The lawyer who was currently standing in front of the showroom's most expensive pet, being given the hard sell.

"…and he can do anything you want, sir. He'll be there for you when you need companionship, and quiet and out of the way when you need space. He's fully automated and intelligent enough to serve as a personal assistant or run a household. And when it comes to his Romantic skillset… he's very easy to please, and very eager and capable of pleasing others. If this pet is within your budget, I think he'd be the best suited to your needs, sir."

His needs. What were the lawyer's needs? Pets didn't have needs, couldn't have needs. B211 knew he could do whatever that so-called premium model could. But the lawyer probably had more than enough money to go premium, and why would he buy a discounted refurb when he could buy a brand-new luxury model?

"He does seem like an ideal fit…" said the lawyer.

"Would you like to spend a little time with him? I'm sure once you do, you won't be leaving this showroom alone."

"Well… maybe… but I'm still interested in that one. The one I saw when I first came in."

And the lawyer looked straight at B211.

It was impossible, wasn't it? Why would he be interested in B211 when a premium model was an option? Did he actually recognize B211's value? Was that why he'd been so drawn to this man as an owner?

The lawyer walked his way. B211 tried his hardest to read the expression on his face -- an essential skill for Romantics, to be able to read their master's smallest emotions -- but came up short. He couldn't tell what this man was thinking at all.

But his eyes looked kind. And B211 felt…

It was a feeling he couldn't place. It wasn't happy, or aroused, or quiet, or agreeable. B211 suspected it was one of those feelings he wasn't supposed to be having, one that the Drip was supposed to wash out of him.

"Are you sure, sir?" said the salesman, trailing after him. "This one is a refurb, you know. That's why he's on a discount."

"A refurb? Do you know why he was returned?" The lawyer's eyes never left B211.

"Ah, his original owner simply found a new relationship, and was displeased with the amount of attention this Romantic required. He's been wiped of those memories, and we've done our best to train out his unfortunate need for attention, of course, but he'd be a risk compared to our premium models, which can all be customized just for you for only a small additional fee…"

The lawyer wasn't paying attention to the salesman at all as he continued his pitch. He seemed to be weighing something in his mind.

And B211 finally placed what that strange feeling was. Safe. The lawyer made him feel safe. It wasn't something he had felt in training. It was something much older, something he shouldn't remember.

"I want to buy this one," said the lawyer abruptly, cutting off the salesman's patter.

The salesman couldn't hide his shock. "Are you sure, sir? There's no rush. We'd be happy to put a model on hold for you for a small deposit if you'd like more time to make up your mind."

"I've made up my mind. I want this one." The uncertainty on his face from a moment ago was gone, his voice firm. Firm enough that B211 dared to hope.

"If you're certain, then… I'll draw up the paperwork. But keep in mind that we don't accept returns on refurbished pets."

"I won't be returning him."

And the lawyer smiled at B211, actually smiled.

And someone had finally seen him. Someone wanted him. Someone was going to love him.

All he had to do was not screw it the fuck up.

Masterlist

[rivendell-poet]

*･༓˚✧ ❝𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝐋𝐨𝐭𝐑)❞‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « scenarios »

○ Aragorn ○ Legolas ○ Frodo ○ Sam ○ Merry ○ Pippin ○ Boromir ○ Faramir ○ Éowyn ○ Éomer ○ Bard ○ Thranduil ○ Tauriel ○ Lindir ○ Haldir ○ Elladan ○ Elrohir ○

GN!Reader | Wordcount : 2.9k (each individual around 170~ words) | Read on Ao3

TWS : References to a dead spouse/parent having a new partner after other parents death (Bard)

« 1, 10, 11, masterlist »

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐧

✧ You two weren’t sure how to tell the Fellowship, especially when your main problems centred around saving Middle Earth. Surely a relationship was inconsequential?

✧ In the end, it was Merry and Pippin who discovered your relationship by walking in on you kissing.

✧ You didn’t even know they were there until you heard the excited gasps, before Merry eagerly asks if he can tell everyone.

✧ Aragorn and you have talked about this before, but he still checks with you again to make sure you’re absolutely comfortable with it.

✧ The two of you give your agreements to the hobbits (and you still don’t think you’ve ever seen them happier).

✧ One of your highlights comes from Merry running up behind you and saying you and Aragorn are together before he realises who you are.

✧ Sam and Frodo awkwardly come up to you at one point and ask if Merry and Pippin have permission - it’s very sweet to see them blushing and trying to keep eye contact with the two of you.

✧ The rest of the Fellowship briefly acknowledges it, although it’s generally with just a nod to the two of you or a few words.

✧ The only exception is when there's sparring training - in which the men sometimes tease Aragorn for focusing on your match slightly too much.

𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬

✧ You both ask each other who they’re ok with knowing, and both of you agree that with the lists you provide - but you don’t want to publicise it needlessly.

✧ Boromir is the first person you end up telling, after he not so subtly nudges you while you’re (also not subtly) staring at Legolas.

✧ He teases you a bit, but you know it’s in good faith, and when Legolas appears to ask if you’ll join him he instantly pushes you towards him, bidding you to have fun.

✧ On his part, Legolas actually forgets to tell anyone. It isn’t until he’s asking Aragorn about if his date idea is acceptable with mortal customs that Aragorn interrupts him to confirm the two of you are dating.

✧ Legolas stands there for a second, and then he realises he hasn’t told anyone.

✧ Proceeds to go into a long and slightly unnecessary infodump about you, and all of the things he loves about you, and why he’s honoured to be dating you, and-

✧ Aragorn actually doesn’t interrupt, and it’s only when Frodo and Sam come over that Legolas realises just how long he’s been talking.

✧ Word spreads from Frodo and Sam to the rest of the hobbits, and the hobbits make it everyone's business. And soon enough the whole Fellowship knows.

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨

✧ When Frodo had first talked about you to his friends, everyone wanted to know who the big-folk in the Shire was, they had been able to tell Frodo was a little star-struck.

✧ They’d also been able to tell it hadn’t exactly gone away, even after you’d been meeting for a while.

✧ Eventually Frodo tells them he can’t come to one of their regular meetings, and that same day the Shire reports seeing you and another hobbit go in the direction of the flower fields.

✧ It only takes the next time they see Frodo for Merry to give him a grin, and Pippin to give him a ‘subtle’ jab to the ribs.

✧ Frodo laughs at them, “You were right. They said yes, and it was wonderful.”

✧ The two immediately start cheering, and Sam congratulates him more quietly - although with just as much sincerity.

✧ Bilbo greets it only with a nod, and mutters to Frodo that it certainly took him long enough.

✧ (Pippin attempts a whistle the next time he sees you and Frodo in public. It starts out well, and then he laughs too hard to finish it. Especially when you start laughing while Frodo turns red.)

𝐒𝐚𝐦

✧ They’re the ones that finally convince Sam to ask you out, and they’re all hoping for you and him to work out - it’s just obvious to them that you belong together.

✧ They don’t see him for the entire day he asks you out, except very early in the morning to wish him all luck.

✧ And then they see him the next day.

✧ With the largest grin on his face, from ear to ear. As well as what might be a semi-permanent blush.

✧ The friends look around at each other before realising what that means.

✧ Pippin immediately rushes over to congratulate their good friend, with Merry right behind him.

✧ There’s some teasing but it’s all in good faith - they’re all relieved that you two are together.

✧ Although they tease Sam they’re a lot nicer to you, letting you know they know with smiles and a nod across the room.

✧ Frodo congratulates you on your courting.

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲

✧ One of the first things he, seriously, asks you is if he can tell his friends.

✧ Your confused as to why he asks, and he explains he doesn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position - and he’s more than happy for it to be just the two of you if that’s what you want/

✧ You reassure him that you’re fine with Pippin, Sam, and Frodo knowing.

✧ There’s obvious relief and joy on his face - and he grins before pulling you into a hug and thanking you. “Don’t worry, I won’t let Pip be mean.”

✧ The two of you actually see them the same day and Merry immediately runs over to Pippin.

✧ He almost tackles him into a massive hug, a huge grin on his face before glancing back at you with shining eyes.

✧ “They said yes!”

✧ (Although you find Merry’s excitement at telling others the sweetest, you have to admit hearing Pippin woop makes you smile as well.)

𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧

✧ Everyone in the Fellowship knew that he had a crush on you, because they all had eyes, although it was slightly less known you liked him back.

✧ Merry is the first to realise you’re probably going to end up together because Pippin asks him for a pep talk on the day.

✧ (Which Merry gives, of course.)

✧ The following breakfast he subtly goes up to Pippin and nudges him, to which Pippin gives a faux-wise nod before smiling and whispering ‘thank you’.

✧ Frodo and Sam both know him well enough to realise what’s happened, although they wait until you confirm it to say anything or make any comments.

✧ In the end you’re the one to ask if he wants it spread around, to which he answers of course - he just wasn’t sure if that was something you wanted.

✧ You reassure him that you’re fine with it, and you’d never be ashamed of this relationship.

✧ With your permission, he quickly gets around to telling everyone what’s going on.

✧ Even with every person he tells, the wonder that you’ve chosen him doesn’t diminish in the slightest.

𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐫

✧ You can't help smiling about Boromir asking you if you'll be his partner.

✧ Of course, the next day this does creep out while you're running drills with the rangers.

✧ Even Anborn's frankly terrible warm-ups don't get rid of it, something that is quickly noticed by your comrades. And commented upon.

✧ Not telling them who it is, even when pleading with you to say who's making you smile that widely, just makes them more persistent.

✧ Faramir denies all knowledge when they ask him, although of course he knows about the two of you in.

✧ In the end they take to calling him mystery man.

✧ Two days later all soldiers are together again, and Boromir discreetly buys you a drink and you plan to real later.

✧ As you turn around you can see your troops grinning, one of them mouthing 'mystery man'.

✧ Being the fair second-in-command you are, it only results in one extra lap next meeting.

𝐅𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐫

✧ He's, understandably, nervous about telling others about your relationship. ✧ Not because he isn't completely committed to you, he'd hang the moon and stars for you, but because he's worried about what people will say. ✧ And not about him - but about you. ✧ Faramir doesn't particularly want to introduce you to his father, so instead he introduces you to his brother. ✧ Boromir recognises you, and is immediately very cheerful and welcoming of you - putting the both of you at ease. ✧ Although he's very supportive, he understands it being kept a secret and promises that it is your relationship to tell. ✧ Faramir also offers to introduce you to his rangers, to which you eagerly agree.

✧ It's in a more casual setting - just a tavern, without the formalities of titles.

✧ The rangers are just as welcoming and supporting of you two, although they tease Faramir more than his brother did. 

𝐄𝐨𝐰𝐲𝐧

✧ Aragorn had been the first person to notice when you two had started to like each other, before either of you had fully figured it out yourselves.

✧ And when you come back from your talk with Éowyn, he can see your blush and the small smile you have - the way you’re almost glowing.

✧ (Although most people with eyes would’ve noticed it too.)

✧ As such you don’t need to tell him, he merely comes up and congratulates you after the fighting is over - saying that you seem right for each other.

✧ Legolas and Gimli are also both with you when you come back from talking, and they realise as well.

✧ The both of them are a lot more vocal in their teasing about it - and you keep from hitting them by telling yourself it’s just Gimli’s way of not freaking out about the Dead.

✧ To be entirely honest your partner, and the teasing that comes with that, is the topic you’d much rather be thinking about.

𝐄𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫

✧ You don’t need to tell Éowyn, of course, as she’s the one who set you up in the first place.

✧ She’s also the one who, when you finally get back from your first date, whistles as Éomer kisses you hand in goodbye and looks entirely too pleased with herself when you both turn red.

✧ Théodred realises on the day Éomer first kisses you, as he too is part of the Rohirrim force that went out - following his cousin’s horse until he sees them jump off.

✧ As soon as he sees you two kiss he looks over to Éowyn for confirmation, who simply grins back.

✧ He congratulates Éomer in private, before asking when you two are going to inform Théoden about it.

✧ After asking his uncle for permission to date you, which Théoden gives freely, you are eventually formally introduced - although he recognises you as Éowyn’s friend.

✧ No-one else is personally informed, although word does get out about a prince of Rohan’s dating, and it becomes common knowledge that you two are courting rather quickly.

✧ For the most part there’s no bother, and the most comments you get are of people telling you how much they wish to be in your place.

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐝

✧ As much as Bard wants to parade you around the rooftops, walk with your hand in his and give you a small kiss when you’re close together, he does restrain himself.

✧ He wants to be with you, through all of this, but he also understands the importance of waiting and making sure something is real.

✧ The children love you, but he doesn’t yet want the children to know you two are dating.

✧ Bard knows he should probably wait longer than the three month mark, but he still loves you just as much as your first date and you feel the same.

✧ So over dinner he tells the kids that you’re courting, and feels a massive amount of relief when they all express enthusiasm.

✧ After that some friends and family are told, although most people become informed via the rumour mill.

✧ On a slow day, the news of you holding Bard’s hand or him kissing you goodbye becomes good gossip.

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐢𝐥

✧ It also takes Thranduil a while for him to be honest about your relationship.

✧ And again it certainly isn’t because of his lack of commitment. Because if you needed something done, he would do everything in his power to do it. To make sure you could smile.

✧ He does it because he wants you to be ready for the responsibilities and judgements that, unfortunately, are to come with you being with him.

✧ Judgements that mean nothing to him but that you don’t deserve, and therefore will help prepare you for.

✧ Thranduil will completely go at your pace for if things are moving too fast or too slow, constantly checking in and making sure you’re ok with what’s happening.

✧ Although, if things are going too fast he does generally slow them down. Making sure you’re not feeling pressured, and if there’s anything he can do to help you.

✧ It’s a small gesture in terms of what he could do, but when he sits next to you and looks into your eyes you know he’s sincere.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥

✧ When Tauriel is finally courting you, she just wants to show you off.

✧ To show the world how amazing her partner is - and that the two of you are together.

✧ If you'll let here, she'll happily he attached to you - holding hands, or giving you a quick kiss before you go out on patrol.

✧ Then when she's asked she's happy to confirm it, and try to give the person a list of the best things you've done in the past day.

✧ But if you ask her not too she also understands, and tries not to draw attention it it.

✧ Instead it's whispered in her friends ears with a sparkle in her eyes.

𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐫

✧ Lindir is nervous about telling others, although handles it fairly well.

✧ He asks if you'll allow him to wait a week or so - both to figure out what to say and to make sure you want this relationship.

✧ You reassure him that you will, but that he can also take all the time he needs.

✧ All in all, Lindir is probably the one of the most mature when it comes to telling people.

✧ Simply asking for a moment of time from the people he wishes to know, and then informing them that you are courting.

✧ And trying to deflect all compliments onto you, while simultaneously trying to remember them all so he can tell you them later.

✧ For your part you tell the people that you know in Rivendell, and they congratulate you (and admit envy) that you've managed to court the elf.

✧ Everything goes fairly smoothly, although you can't fully contain your shock when the Lord of Rivendell comes to speak to you. Even if it's only to congratulate the two of you. Especially if it's that.

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐫

✧ Unsurprisingly, there aren’t that many people that Haldir knows in the lands of Rohan or of Gondor.

✧ Although a letter is sent that way, filled with surprisingly romantic prose that you wouldn’t expect from him, you know he won’t be able to tell anyone in his life until you go back to Lothlórien.

✧ But you do have Legolas to tell - and the remaining two of the hunters.

✧ You tell Legolas first, as his guard you’ve known him much longer, and because you want this to be something special.

✧ As elves, this will be (almost certainly) the only times you can say that you’ve fallen in love.

✧ Legolas is very congratulatory, instantly pulling you into a hug and saying he’s happy for you. Before pulling out of it and making you swear to tell him if Haldir doesn’t treat you well.

✧ It makes you laugh before you realise he’s being serious.

✧ To your amusement (and gratitude) Legolas then leaves to talk to your boyfriend - and you eventually find them standing outside and speaking in Elvish in quiet enough tones for you to not hear.

✧ Going over to them Legolas gives you a small nod, and Haldir offers you a smile before saying he’s glad that you have chosen him.

𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐧

✧ Both of you are comfortable sharing what’s happening almost immediately, because both of you have lived in Rivendell for practically your entire lives and have a similar circle.

✧ In a way, telling others is awkward - but more because of the knowing smiles you receive, along with the congratulations.

✧ Of all the elves in Rivendell it seems that either Elrohir has told them, or that they’d always suspected it.

✧ Because of course the two of you somehow manage to be the most oblivious to your own relationship.

✧ Nearing the end of the day, Elladan takes your hand and gives it a kiss as you leave.

✧ “My apologies for managing to be this clueless for so long. I hope the rest of our lives can make up for it.”

𝐄𝐥𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐫

✧ Finds it far two funny that both him and Arwen have fallen for Gondorian nobles, and as such cannot wait to officially tell her.

✧ (Of course it was very obvious for a while before, and even more so when his courting proposal was during a public event - even though he made sure to catch you mostly alone.)

✧ Proudly tells his sister that he’s got the much better partner to become mortal for, and that she should be jealous of the two of you.

✧ And then only jumping a little when he turns around to see Aragorn behind him. Does not apologise for his statement, but does reassure him that he’ll always love his little Estel and-

✧ Aragorn cuts him off with his congratulations, before politely asking Elrohir to stop trying to steal you away from quite so many official duties.

✧ At which point Elrohir feels it only right to give a vague answer, before trying to locate you and the trusty pile of paperwork beside you.

✧ Comes into your room happily announcing the king has given his blessings. For everything.

« first scenario, previous scenario, masterlist » thank you for reading *･༓˚✧ Taglist : @celestialhole / @starwars2222 / @xiaoseminence / @withasideofmeg / @ferns-fics / @fleurdemiel-145 / @chewgazellechew / @nilintakan / @stormchaser819✧ wish to be tagged?

[blindmagdalena]

Seeking writing advice from one of the best. Please, share some of your tips, tricks and general wisdom (if you feel comfortable ofc). :))

you're so sweet! i'm no professional but i'll do my very best to offer something helpful!

the unfortunate reality is there's no one universal trick to writing. you just gatta Do It. and do it frequently! write badly. write out of sequence. write streams of consciousness with no mind for how the sentences read.

the most important thing you can do with your ideas is get them OUT of your head. you can't polish a gem before you've mined it.

don't delete the things you write! if you find a fic or a scene isn't flowing right or just doesn't fit where you've written it, put it aside. there's a good chance it'll come in handy later, or you'll be able to utilize it better at another time with a fresh perspective.

i have a whole doc called "odds and ends" where i hold onto moments or bits of dialogue that i've written but don't have a use for yet.

don't be afraid to seek validation! to paraphrase this tessa barron article, writing is performative. your story isn't finished until someone reads it. you'll never be done with it until it becomes real and complete to someone else. that's just part of the art! we write for ourselves, yes, but we also write to connect with each other.

read!!! in order to write well you must read. learn from authors who have more experience, more mastery over the art of storytelling and structuring their sentences. audiobooks count as reading, btw! it's so important as a creative to imbibe stories. i got back into reading published books around the time i started getting serious about writing again, and the impact it had on my style is SO obvious to me any time i go back and read my older pieces.

writing is fire and reading is fuel. feed your creativity!

PLAGERIZE. now ofc i don't mean this literally. but you absolutely SHOULD be freely taking inspiration from everything and everywhere. the reality is that there's only so many stories and concepts out there. what makes something original is the execution. don't ever be afraid to tell your version of a story you love. ESPECIALLY in fanfic! there's a reason fandoms are rife with stuff like beauty and the beast au's.

i hope that helps! 🖤

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Can you write fuego with a pregnant wife?

Hi!

I thought that I had done quite a few of them, but... apparently not ^^' Admittedly I took some inspo from my own long fic (aka Embers -series) for this, and basically used a scene as a basis. Anyways, hopefully you like it ^^

Pairing: Fuegoleon x f!reader Genre: Romance/fluff Fanfic type: Oneshot Length: ~0.9k Contains: pregnant reader, marriage mention, Fue gets kicked by the baby in the face, a lot of fluffy feels

Fuegoleon had always deemed himself to be a family man. Granted that he has other aspirations as well, and hadn’t had a partner for such a long time, which was why such a status and aspect of his life had been placed on the backburner for the time being.

Not that it had particularly stopped thinking about the future, and the family he might like to have. A wife. Kids. Maybe a few. One was too few for his liking, but he wouldn’t push for more if his partner so wished.

It was a personal preference if nothing else.

But. It had existed in a daydream for a time longer than he could tell.

Until he had met you.

Not that the images had flashed through his mind clear as day from the very first moment he had laid his eyes upon you, but rather… it was like a gentle, comforting sensation. The knowledge that this… this would be it. With you he could go on to build something.

What he had felt, was a kind of familiarity. Like this was how it was supposed to be, and nothing less would suffice.

A part of him wanted to rush. To just move together. Get married. And have the titles of husband and wife. But another part of him held back. Because that seemed more courteous. Something that one does. Bids their time and takes slow, tentative steps to the ever after. Not marry the woman he met less than a year ago.

Though people did do that.

But people, aside of royalty, were more free to make such actions. And he didn’t wish to place such scrutiny onto the two of you. Because it would just be unwanted attention. Rumours of a bastard child possibly.

Senseless gossip.

Attempts to tarnish a reputation.

No matter how displeased even the mere idea of it made him, he chose to abide the customs. Little steps. One by one. And yet with each day he tried to show his devotion, even if with words, scattered here and there, a passing touch, lingering gaze. Some if which came without a thought, because it, too, was easy; as natural as breathing.

And now…

As you sat there, in the arm chair with rings in your ring finger, and a baby bump on your tummy, he couldn’t help but smile.

Because it was his whole world that existed in that chair. And he made a point to cherish the moments where he could know, with absolute certainty, where the two of you were; away from harm and trouble. In the sanctity of your shared living quarters.

“Come here,” you told him with a whisper while stroking your stomach.

He perked up, eyes opening just a little wider, as he made his way across the room and crouched by your chair.

“The baby is kicking,” your tone was hushed, delicate and tender, as if you were speaking out a secret that was only for the two of you to know.

His eyes shifted between your expression, gorgeous and loving like the first rays of dawn, to the little bump in which your precious child resided.

He placed his hand onto your stomach, and waited.

Waited for a moment longer, eyes attentive and curious.

“Come on,” you cooed. “No need to be shy, kick some for dad too.”

‘Dad’… he thought as the corners of his lips tugged further up.

One of the most esteemed titles he could be granted.

“Come on,” you encouraged again, as if your child could hear. But… somehow it didn’t seem to make a difference, if they could, or could not. After all, they didn’t have the language to comprehend for a good while still. So, you were speaking because… speaking to your own child was one of the most natural things to do.

Your precious miracle.

“It’s alright,” he chuckled and pressed his cheek against your tummy. “You are far better acquainted with your mother,” he mused while closing his eyes. “But I can’t wait to meet you to-“

*Bump*

A kick right to his nose.

He jolted back.

You raised your hand to cover your mouth.

“Feisty,” he said while holding onto his nose. “And packs a punch already.”

There was a laugh that flowed from your lungs; equally amused and concerned.

“Are you okay?” You asked while placing your hand onto his shoulder.

“I am,” he chuckled before placing his cheek against your stomach again. “It seems we’re having a true Vermillion here,” he mused to himself with a wide smile again. “But no kicking or punching your mother,” he told, sternly, to your bump and the child. “Understood?” He quirked an eyebrow.

And… almost as if to reply, there was another kick, but this time against his hand. A much softer one this time.

“Good,” he smiled while closing his eyes.

You placed your hand onto his head, and let your fingers stroke through his silken hair, as your eyelids closed half way at the tender sight before you.

Because this… this really was him, at his happiest. While holding you, and being held by you; when he was with his family.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[novelconcepts]

Hi! I love the way you write Taivan, just out of curiosity, do you ever imagine them in a no break up universe? What are your headcanons about Taivan post willderness together?

Thank you! Tbh, I don't usually visualize a no-break-up universe for them, because their relationship has soooo many dark corners in which trauma can hide. They don't communicate. Like, famously, do not talk to each other about the problems they're having. That, on top of eeeeverything else the crash brings, can't end well--or, at least, can't be one smooth, continuous ride.

In the event that they ever did stay together for the entire run of the show, I feel like it would be...savage. They'd sharpen each other's edges. Bring out the worst in one another, even as they formed an unassailable wall against the world. I don't think they'd have kids. I don't think they'd be the gay Kennedys. I think they'd be hard, intense, passionate, and ultimately kind of terrifying. Since both of them used the years apart to build a life looking firmly at the past (Taissa fulfilling ambitions she probably outgrew in the woods, Van quite literally living inside a shrine to nostalgia), it's hard to imagine them building a gentle future together in their late 20s-early 30s. I certainly don't think either of them would ever get bored, but I don't think it would be healthy, either.

I think after the wilderness, they do stay together a while. I think it's passionate and intense, a roller coaster of a relationship. I think they break up and get back together a lot. I suspect there's a lot of sex and not a lot of conversation about anything real. Until canon corrects me, my estimation is that they continue on their on-again, off-again thing through Shauna's wedding in 2001. I suspect they split up soon after that--possibly because Tai's so obsessed with her future, possibly because the weight of their combined trauma cracks something in them. Taissa says she's flushed a fifteen-year-marriage down the drain, so I assume she sleeps with a ton of women, and then launches herself at Simone, marrying her by 2006. And Van...just...seems like she's done letting people in. This screams of two people needing very different things (or, at least, convincing themselves they do), so I am rabid for any post-rescue scenes with them together. I really, really want to see (re: am terrified to see) how sad that might have gotten. I think they don't know how not to protect each other. I think they don't know how to not give in to the gravity between them. And I think, ultimately, they never learned how to melt down the knife they made of themselves in the woods. Their love was literally shaped by a violent near-death experince. What choice do they have, but to draw blood?

[triglycercule]

horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is

probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?

The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[theexhaustedqueer]

shoutout to my ex boyfriend for that time he asked me if we could “act more like a couple” and i had an immediate knee jerk, angry, reaction to that idea and STILL didn’t cotton on to the fact that i was aro. bestie I’m so sorry you deserved better.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

been thinking about tpn a lot recently and Ray has been giving me he/they vibes

of course he would have blue(-tinted) hair and pronouns

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Was soooooo happy with this phase 1 which is what made it so much funnier that I was immediately clapped by his phase 2 😂