#but anyway im not trying to blame anyone for this btw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

underskz · 3 months ago

Text

➪ ‘TIL NEXT TUESDAY

➪ mark lee x cisfem!reader ✩ w.c 8.5k — NSFW ✩ 18+ minors dni —

✰ NON-IDOL AU

pov: you're a camgirl with a secret admirer who's a little (okay maybe a lot) obsessed

note: y'all do not understand the pain,,, the struggle,,,, the trauma that this fic has inflicted upon me <//3 i quite literally started writing it last year on mark lees stupid lil bday and have been typing away at it for so mf long and have had to dig into the deepest filthiest depths of my brain to finally finish this,,,,, anyways welcome to my twisted mind and we can all blame mark lee my greatest enemy,,,, i hate u… anyways pls make note of the warnings !!! btw don’t ask me what website they’re using idk i couldn’t be fcked to think that hard

warnings: NSFW CONTENT, aka smut, obsessive behavior, viscerally lewd comments, uh lying LOL, wolf in sheep’s clothing energy (good church boy mark lee and his hidden demons <3), honestly both reader and mark r freaky (aww they match each others freaks!), readers thinly veiled shame kink, unsafe sex/no condom, barely any prep lol, not beta read bc im a full send girl (sorry for any typos etc LMAO)

There’s clearly something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ and you can’t quite figure it out. Sure, he seems to be just another fan of your work. And maybe his comments tended to be on the imaginative side.

i wanna dick you down til next tuesday

stuff your guts this thursday and stay buried in you thru the weekend

til youre cryin to me about how you can feel my dick in your throat

how pretty would you cry for me?

That little voice in the back of your head whispers (the one that sounds far too much like Donghyuck), an annoying little I told you so, someone was bound to get obsessed. It wasn’t like you never considered or even feared the possibility.

But these comments, this person, there was something there. You click into a different video, scrolling down to a specific cluster of comments.

i wanna ruin you so fuckin bad

ruin that pussy for anyone else

wanna hear you beg me to stop

until it turns into begging me for more

sound fun sweetheart?

Every video, every clip, every single little teaser you post; there’s a thread from him. His stupid username right there, ‘66golden_boy99’ and a digital paper trail that ranges from being unforgivably horny to borderline demented and most of the time a combination of both.

fuck if i could keep you in a little cage…

i’d fuck u every day all day

turn you into my perfect little pet

made just for my cock

don’t you want that too?

You can’t help but let your mouth gape at that one, a cage? Your head spins at the thought, trying (and failing) to not let your imagination wander.

There’s a certain thrill that crawls down your spine, twisting itself deep into your gut and lodging itself there. An ache that you can’t quite sate yourself, barely sated by these comments.

So yeah, there’s definitely something wrong with user ‘66golden_boy99’ but that could only mean there’s something wrong with you.

“Mark, read this! Isn’t it insane?” Donghyuck all but smacks him in the face with your phone.

“Oh! Um.” He immediately flushes, no doubt flustered by the nature of the comments along with the fact he’s one of your few friends who still gets a little red in the cheeks by your choice of profession.

Good church boy Mark Lee at your service. Who thankfully plucks your phone from Donghyuck and passes it back to you— most likely to avoid further being subjected to such filth in broad daylight.

“Don’t bust a tit Hyuck, it’s just some dude living out his freaky fantasy while hiding behind a screen.” You knew it was going to be brought up the moment you saw your friends, but you had hoped that Donghyuck would have the decency to not mention it while seated outside a popular cafe on a busy street.

Jokes on you for thinking he could keep his cool about this. The moment you had sent a screenshot to the group chat Donghyuck had been rearing for a fight, overly scandalized and always righteous whenever he thought his friends were being treated badly.

There was no way in hell you’d tell him those comments piqued your debased interest.

“It’s a little creepy.” Jungwoo settles on, stealing a blueberry off of your parfait. “He doesn’t message when you’re live though.”

“Nope, only comments on clips and videos.” You bite back your disappointment, maintaining an almost clinical tone.

“Does he even watch your streams?” Jungwoo questions as he attempts to swipe a strawberry this time, narrowly thwarted by you whacking his hand with your plastic spoon.

“What difference does it make? He’s a fucking perv!” Donghyuck snipes.

The answer is yes, he does watch every single one of your streams. Occasionally donates too, yet no messages. No live interactions.

“Hyuck, my whole fanbase are pervs.” You ignore the glare of an elderly woman as she passes by your table. “When did you become such a prude?”

It’s enough of a jab to send the man into a fit, ranting and raving about how he’s perfectly freaky enough and that his boyfriend(s) is (are) so into how weird and kinky he could get.

“Seriously though, is he scaring you?” Mark whispers, careful to not catch Donghyuck’s attention lest he starts laying into you about your “creepy” admirer again. Mark’s considerate like that.

For a moment you sit with the question, mindlessly spooning around your half eaten parfait. Were you scared? You knew full well you were bound to deal with the occasional creep when you decided to pursue camming as a full-time job after university.

But you weren’t— aren’t scared, initially you had maybe been a bit unnerved. Yet you hadn’t shared the messages because you wanted your friends to “save” you or anything. More so because you were shocked by the sheer audacity and of course by what was being said.

If Donghyuck wasn’t so busy talking about getting spit roasted much to the horror of Jungwoo, he’d be pestering you for the answer too. And you would’ve lied, told him that you were a little nervous but nothing that’d keep you from carrying on as usual.

Instead you have Mark asking, no trace of judgment behind his thick rimmed glasses, just a curious glint with a healthy dash of concern for a friend.

“He’s not.” Is what ends up coming out. It’s simpler than the whole truth, cleaner as well.

You couldn’t admit to one of your best friends that it sent a thrill down your spine, to have someone so obsessed they comment utter depravity on every post you make. That you’ve checked to make sure this mystery creep was watching your every stream. And that there’s nothing you’ve ever wanted more than to be craved so deeply, to be ached for, to be someone’s sole obsession.

“If you do get freaked out or anything, uh understandably so, we’ll figure something out. I’ll beat him up?” Mark offers one of his dorky smiles, and despite his statement inspiring little hope — seriously Mark is way too sweet to ‘beat’ anyone up — you still appreciate the sentiment. Offering him a big spoonful of whipped cream and strawberries for his valiant statement.

“Hey! Why does Mark get fed and I have to fight for a crumb?” Jungwoo cries out only causing you to roll your eyes and spark even more outrage from him.

You're thankful that the rest of the outing goes on without another mention of a certain fan of yours. Though Mark seems to be shooting more indiscernible looks your way than usual, but that’s easy to chalk down as him just projecting his own anxieties onto you.

When you all start to bid farewell Donghyuck wastes a few minutes to preach about the dangers of internet strangers, while Jungwoo goads and teases him until his nagging is turned onto Jungwoo.

Again Mark offers comfort — though you really have no need for it, considering the fact you honestly are enjoying the debased behavior more than you maybe should — and you pretend to appreciate it.

needa fuck you over and over and over

til your pretty lil pussy is gaping open

so i can see the way i paint you up inside

wouldn’t you like that?

Yes, you dig your teeth into your bottom lip, fuck yes.

You had just posted a teaser for your next video, a simple reaction to some random threesome video your subscribers had begged you to watch.

And as always without fail, only a few minutes after you’ve hit post your phone lights up with notifications from ‘66golden_boy99’. You should hate how much you look forward to it— how you’re practically gagging for it (him).

You remember his first thread of comments, remember the scandal that pumped through your veins as the words registered in your brain.

The thrill.

well aren’t you a sweet thing

He had started it off so normally.

you look like you dont care for just any kind of fun

you look like u need to be fucked within an inch of your life

thrown around and violated like a stupid little toy

i could do that

It’s the only time he hadn’t ended with a question. The only statement needed to stake his claim, to solidify his place.

It planted the seed right in your lust ridden mind, the growing need to see more and more. It becomes a sick little ritual, to go looking for his comments just after you tuck yourself into bed under the guise of resting for the day.

You’re desperate enough to reread old ones, to stare at the same comments from days or even weeks ago. Sometimes he’ll throw you a bone, coming back to leave another thread of comments for you to find.

wanna fill you up so bad

make you take it over and over and over

til my cum is dripping outta you for days

so that all that’s in your pretty head is the thought of my cock pumping you full

wanna make it happen?

Maybe it’s the way you’ve never replied to them, or even acknowledge them in a stream. It doesn’t deter him from continuing, his perverted dedication proving something to you. Something twisted and delicious and all too tempting.

need you so bad

just need to use you over and over and over and over so fuckin bad

turn you into my own pretty fleshlight to use whenever i please

just wanna use you all up baby

how much can you take?

Thursday streams are one of your three weekly streams, and while it had marginally less viewers therefore profit than your Friday and every other Saturday ones, it was by far your favorite.

The chat is far more relaxed, which means you have a better chance to interact with viewers, to have a more intimate stream.

It means you can instead sit at your desk, dressed in nothing but an oversized white tee, playing with your hair and batting your lashes. While making idle conversation as your viewers dutifully pay you compliments and donate small amounts as a hello.

66golden_boy99: hey there

“Oh? Golden boy? And here I was thinking you weren’t interested enough in having a live convo with me.” You wonder if he waited for this, a Thursday stream with an even lower than usual number of viewers to finally send his first message in chat. Was your little freak shy? Only able to sling his filth when nobody was paying attention?

Too late for that, he was in your sights now.

66golden_boy99: nah just liked sitting here and watching you too much

“Is that so?” You feign distraction, looking off towards the side as you tap your chin thoughtfully. “But here I am, doing nothing. Isn’t that boring?”

There’s a flood of no’s in the chat, messages ranging from horny to sweet about how some like just chatting and others saying that you should at least take off your shirt.

“My shirt? It’s only been twenty-ish minutes since I’ve started and you all don’t wanna butter me up first? Tell me how pretty I am?” You’re accused of being a tease, which is of course your exact angle. Some of them bite, sending cooing comments about how they’d love to see your shirt off, some going as far as to send in a few dollars.

$200 from 66golden_boy99

it’s okay sweetheart, show em what’ll be mine

Your jaw drops, because while he had tipped in the past, it was never this much. You can’t help the shiver that itches down your spine, ‘what’ll be mine’ he says, like he already has you in the bag.

“Aww you wanna see me that bad? Everyone say thank you to Golden Boy!” You goad, making a show of hooking your thumbs in the hem of your shirt. Slowly you drag the fabric across your flesh, inch by inch exposing how you truly had nothing under your flimsy excuse for clothing.

66golden_boy99: and where’s your thank you?

“That’s right, you were so generous after all, I should give you a little treat to show my appreciation.” Again you flutter your lashes. “How do you want me?”

66golden_boy99: spreading your legs like a desperate slut

66golden_boy99: wanna see you fuck your fingers

66golden_boy99: cmon babe show off your perfect pussy and open yourself up for me

“Anything for you.” And maybe you’re a little fucked in the head for how much you mean it.

You’ve never had a favorite before. Nobody in your chat, comments and so on have ever caught your attention. They’ve never bothered to be so interesting, to be so openly obsessed.

Slowly you let your hands wander, cupping your tits before letting your fingertips dance along your ribcage, inching down, down, down.

You pathetically think of him, wonder who’s on the other side of the screen. It could be some old man, or some greasy incel, maybe it’s someone you’ve met on the street. It could be anyone, and it sickens you almost as much as it excites you.

Carefully, you plant your feet on the edge of your desk, sliding down a few inches in your chair as you spread nice and wide for the camera.

“This what you want?” The words jumble in your mouth as your fingers continue to find their way south. You dig your nails into your thighs, moaning loudly at the bite of them into your tender skin.

Shame was something that had long escaped you in this field of work, only the tastefully faked sense of it ever gracing you these days. But there’s that all too familiar burn crawling back into your chest after almost years of nothing. Scorching away at your insides as your fingers drag along your waiting pussy.

You’re wet, you’re wet and it’s because of some fucking freak on the internet. Your eyes zero in on the chat, hoping to catch a comment from him.

66golden_boy99: fucking perfect for me always so good

It’s all you need to keep going, to let wanton moans tumble out left and right as your back arches into your own touch.

The sense of shame doesn’t diminish, doesn’t fade as you tease your clit and pump your fingers pitifully into your sopping cunt, loudly bemoaning the fact you didn’t grab a toy.

66golden_boy99: you’ll cum just like this baby, no toys, just your fingers and wishing it was me instead

“Nnn- please.” It’s whiner than you’ve ever heard yourself, because goddammit you are wishing it was him. Old man be damned he had a wicked way of speaking, of sneaking into the dark recesses of your mind and ripping you open. Exposing a side of you that you’d long since buried, a side of you craving to be devoured wholly.

Pleasure snakes through your body, dropping down into your belly as you cum with a whimper. You make a show of bringing your fingers to your lips, tongue flicking out to taste yourself, that sick part of you hoping it makes him want you more.

You slump against your chair, mindlessly answering chats as you fix yourself into a more comfortable position. You don’t bother looking for your shirt, letting your viewers enjoy watching your chest rise and fall in panting breaths, admire the way the sweat gleams on your skin.

You hope his eyes are glued to his screen. You hope you’re driving him absolutely insane.

“I fear I might be tapped out for the night, but don’t worry there’s always Sunday.” You manage to get out a real sentence, your brain still a little mushy from the post-orgasm haze. “Sweet dreams everyone!”

You take a moment to let the chat fill with well wishes, a few more donations and scan for a message from one user in particular.

66golden_boy99: good night sweet thing, dream of me

And oh, you just might.

Ending streams were nothing special, just a click of a button and your privacy was all yours again. Leaving you with a plethora of thoughts, a tiny remnant of that formerly elusive shame and a craving for something or more accurately someone.

Send a friend request to 66golden_boy99?

What did you have to lose? What did you have to gain?

There’s a little angel on your shoulder in the shape of Donghyuck, your ever annoying moral compass, telling you to go shower and to never feed into this anonymous man’s delusions again.

While the little devil on your shoulder shaped like Yuta does nothing, sits there and smirks at you knowing full well you’ll choose his route.

You always do.

Sorry Hyuck.

Friend request sent!

Three days go by, no comments, no messages on stream, nothing. Absolute silence.

You can’t help yourself but watch each excruciating second tick by, waiting for something, anything from him. Three whole days of obsessively checking your phone, every social media tied to your occupation and nothing.

It’s like he up and fucking forgot about you. And maybe three days seems too short of a timeline to be losing it, but this is a man who has been all over your account — and notifications — for months.

And he gets scared off by a friend request.

God, you should’ve known better than to trust Yuta, even if he was just a figment of your imagination at that moment. Though the real Yuta would’ve said the same thing anyway, therefore still making this whole ordeal his fault.

But as fun as blaming your friend and obsessing over whether your twisted little admirer would accept your request, let alone give you something to work with nowadays. It was driving you up the fucking wall.

You need a distraction, and you need it badly.

Your usual and immediate reaction to having nothing to do and needing attention would be to ask Donghyuck to go out and do something stupid, but the lucky bastard was on vacation with his boyfriend(s?) probably getting fucked into the new year.

So you’re left to consider your options but Jungwoo is definitely still at work and Yuta just left to visit his family. And your other friends lived too far.

That only left you with Mark. God, you need more friends in close proximity. Not because you don’t like Mark, you adore the man if anything and still consider him one of your best friends. It's just that despite all the years of friendship the two of you just haven’t figured out how to quite mesh conversationally like the others.

You need more spark, conviction. Mark Lee talks like a wet noodle came to life and decided to use ‘yo’, ‘dude’ and ‘woah’ on a permanent rotation.

At least he’s a great listener.

And since he’s one of your closest friends nonetheless, he would have no problem with you coming over to eat his snacks and lounge on his couch while he works from home.

So you shoot him a text.

TO: marky markmarkly sparkly can i cum over ;P

FROM: marky markHaha sure dude! I told you stop spelling it like that > <

TO: marky markprude be there in 10 want coffee ?

FROM: marky markSure! Caramel latte please :3

He even texts like a good and innocent church boy. But he’s definitely had girlfriends, and that one boyfriend, so there’s no way he’s a virgin. Is it possible to be a blushing virgin in spirit and at heart?

“Hey beautiful, what can I get ya?” The barista’s stare is nothing short of sleazy, not even bothering to make eye contact as he tries to magically see through your clothing.

“I’ll take a caramel latte, lemme double check what my boyfriend wanted, hmm just a regular coffee.” And okay it’s a little demeaning to Mark to switch your coffee orders in front of this greaseball.

The boyfriend comment works well enough, if you take the guy opting to just stare at your ass as you walk out the door instead of bullying you for your number a win.

Thankfully Mark's apartment is just around the corner, and somehow you manage to key in the code not once but twice despite carrying two drinks.

“Marky! Coffee!” Immediately he comes tumbling down the hallway, eyes wide with confusion. His hair is sticking up in different directions, his glasses crooked and half-hanging off his face. His sweat stained white tee, and low hanging gray sweats only the cherry atop the homebody trainwreck sundae of a man before you.

“Hey, yo, shit! Uh dude!” He stops a few steps in front of you, scratching his head sheepishly. “I thought…you would take longer.”

“Do I look like Jungwoo? Or worse, Yuta?” You feign offense with a dramatic gasp.

“Nah! Ha…ha, um come on in, it’s a fuckin’ mess but like you know, ‘m swamped with work and…”

You hand him his latte and push past him, barely batting an eye at the nightmarish state of his apartment. There’s mountains of paperwork and books stacked along the walls, empty food boxes, bags and wrappers scattered across the floor (along with any other available surface) and you’re trying desperately to not gag at the state of his kitchen.

“Johnny would clean?” You muse as you kick aside an empty pasta box.

“Johnny would clean.” He sighs. Johnny, being Mark’s roommate, along with (one of) Donghyuck’s boyfriend(s???) is currently on vacation. On top of that, from what you've heard, he’s barely been at the apartment at all the past few months. Definitely too busy catering to every single one of Hyuck’s whims and dramatics.

“I could help?”

“Woah! I couldn’t ask you that, I made this mess on my own. I’ll clean it er.. eventually.” He gestures loosely.

“Mark Lee.” You muster up your best deadpan tone. “I’m so bored I’m gonna chew my own hand off, please let me help you clean your awfully disgusting apartment.”

“That bad?” He snorts.

“I think that pile of dust moved on it’s own.” At least you’re hoping it’s a pile of dust and not some undiscovered rodent that thrives in the apartments of bachelors with piss poor cleaning habits.

“…I think you’re right. Hey um, lemme just shower and change, I think I’m just as gross as this place. We can clean together. So just…” He shoves aside the pile of laundry inhabiting the couch just enough to give you a place to sit. “Sit for a second?”

The poor guy looks like he’s on the brink of a meltdown, and if you didn’t know Mark as well as you do you would’ve called an ambulance. But he just always has that air around him, exhausted and overworked— but always smiling through it.

“I’m in no rush.” You pat his arm before taking a seat in the space he so generously carved out for you. The second Mark walks off to the bathroom you make yourself nice and comfortable, switching on the TV, straightening out some of the magazines and assorted papers on the coffee table.

Mindlessly you even start folding some of the laundry next to you. The thought of taking pictures and sending them to Donghyuck so he could show Johnny just how far his roomie has fallen in his absence promptly interrupts your side task.

But to your dismay you find your phone is barely holding on by a few measly percentages. Looking around the living room you know there’s definitely no hope in trying to find a charger on your own. So instead you head off towards the bathroom, following the sound of the shower pouring down.

“Mark!” You knock harshly, hoping he can hear you okay.

“Yeah?” His voice comes through clear, sounding only a little startled by your sudden presence.

“Need to charge my phone!”

There’s a moment of pause and you can only assume it’s because his room is so hellish he can’t even remember where he put the thing.

“By my bed!”

“Thanks!”

His room is actually better than the living room and kitchen, not by much, but still better. You navigate around the clothes and books strewn about the floor. Giggling at his wastebasket full of balled up tissues and a used up bottle of lotion, you definitely couldn’t wait to tell Donghyuck when he gets back.

Making fun of Mark was an art, a beloved pastime of your friend group. And he always took it like a champ.

You plop down on his unmade bed, looking around for his charger. It’s half under the bed when you spot it, tugging the cord only for there to be a bit of resistance. Carefully you lower yourself to the floor, yanking at the charger and forcing Mark’s IPad to come flying at you.

“Shit!” It lands next to you face down on the hardwood and you pray to whatever gods that you haven’t cracked it. Slowly you pick it up, carefully flipping it over as you prepare yourself for the damage.

“Oh, my god.”

Because it’s not cracked, it’s not even locked, it’s still open to what Mark had been watching last to be exact.

One of your streams, one of your streams with you bent over one of your pillows, both holes stuffed with toys in the perfect position for the camera to see everything. It’s not even a new video, you haven’t done anything like that in months.

There’s a blur in your vision as you shoot up, lightheaded from standing up straight so suddenly. A scorching heat begins to burn in your gut, creeping through your veins.

You can still hear the shower going, and you know it must be wrong, to go through his private device like this but…it’s you. He’s been watching you, one of your most bible-thumping, prude-built friends who can barely look you in the eyes and blushes whenever you or your friends make dirty jokes, has been watching your debaucherous streams and has never said a word.

Sure, Yuta and Jungwoo have confessed to watching more than once and Donghyuck is a fucking mod for your streams. It never bothered you if your friends watched, it wouldn’t bother you now.

But this is…this is different. He kept his viewership a secret, and you weren’t sure what to make of it. Was he too embarrassed to say? Was he afraid it’d ruin your friendship?

You close out the video, looking through his watch history which consists solely of your videos, looking at who he follows — you, only you, and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing yet — and now the used tissues in his trash bin don’t feel so funny anymore.

“Oh.” You mutter lamely as you open up his comment history. Fucking oh.

66golden_boy99: wanna fuck you with my tongue til youre squirting all over my face

And your world collapses, punctuated by the sound of the shower turning off— yet that’s lost on your ears. You can’t hear anything but the furious pound of your heart trying to dismantle your ribcage, your blood rushing through your veins and sloshing around your head.

Mark Lee, sweet, kind and innocent. Mark Lee, who stutters just talking about who he likes. Mark Lee, the resident saint of the group.

Is him.

The man who’s been peddling filth into your mind, who’s been haunting you every time you decide to start your stream or post a video, skulking around every comment section with your name on it.

Is Mark fucking Lee.

“Heya! Did ya find…it.” It’s cinematic honestly, the way his stride slows as his eyes frantically flicker back and forth between you and the IPad. “Y-Y-You!”

It’s instantaneous, his face turning a brilliant crimson as he trips over himself to grab the tablet and throw it haphazardly to the side.

His chest is heaving, panic creasing his features as you look him over. He kept the same color scheme, you think emptily, white tank top and gray basketball shorts. It does nothing for your brain as you stare at him mouth agape.

“I c-can explain?” He has the audacity to squeak, to look ashamed even. He’s trying to hide behind his bangs as they fall over his eyes, trying to look so innocent despite his filthy secret coming to light.

“Why didn’t you accept my friend request?” It’s probably not what you should open with, and Mark’s jaw simply hanging open at the question might be a testament to that.

“…What?” His croaks, voice hoarse.

“You didn’t accept it, why? And where have you been, it’s been three whole days? I’ve been fucking waiting for—”

“You’re not mad?” His voice is still uneven, and even a pitch higher.

“Mad? Mad? I’m pissed, you, you idiot!” And you are. Probably. Your mind so fucked from trying to comprehend this newfound piece of info you don’t even know where to begin with how you’re feeling. So mad must be the best place to start.

“For months I’ve been wondering who had the fucking balls to send these freaky borderline insane comments.” He flinches. “Wondering just who the hell was making me feel like, like…that.”

“I—”

“And it was you! Right under my nose, looking at me with those stupid round eyes and big glasses a-and you just pretended like you knew nothing? …I got off to you on stream?” You hate the way your voice sounds so high in your ears, teetering on the edge of full blown shrieking.

“Please, I’m sor…”

“When Hyuck showed those comments were you even ashamed?” You hiss.

He’s blubbering now, eyes pinned somewhere to the ground; half cooked sentences or maybe excuses scattering about the floor with the rest of his mess. It’s all lost on your ears, a million different thoughts in your head drowning it all out.

His hands raise as if admitting defeat, even beginning to back away in a pitiful attempt at escaping but like hell you’ll let the fool get away from you now.

“Goddammit, Mark Lee, look at me!” And he does, his mouth snapping shut and eyes focusing on you. His stupid glasses are nowhere to be seen, giving you an unfiltered front row view of how his pupils are blown wide. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean…what?” You could kill him, you really could because how after all these months of sending you towards the edge with the crudest, filthiest words he can barely say a proper sentence standing before you.

“Any of it! All of it, was it all just talk?” You must’ve hit a nerve. He’s silent again, eyes narrowing for a moment at the accusation. But it slips away, a fickle persona he shoves down.

His hands lower to his sides.

“...What do you want?” His voice is more even, eyebrows knitting together.

You know what he’s asking — he was obvious like that, his heart always worn so proudly on his sleeve — because even now with his disgusting secret out in the open between the two of you. He has the audacity to try to take the gentlemanly route of getting you to explicitly state what you want from him, if you want him.

When all you’ve been waiting for was for him to take.

“What do I want, huh? Let me tell you what I think first.” You know this will definitely make or break what happens next, and maybe even your friendship. But you’re sick of his games, of dancing around whatever the hell was going on between the two of you. “I think you’re all bark and no fucking bite, I think you hide behind a screen because you’re a coward and you probably couldn’t fuck your way out of a wet paper bag.”

His eyes narrow once more.

“You hide behind your good little god fearing boy next door persona when you’re a freak who likes watching one of his best friends get off on camera!”

He takes a step closer.

“I think you’re filthy and depraved, a repressed weirdo with disgusting kinks. A borderline incel!”

And another step.

“I bet the second you actually got inside of me you’d cum and cry yourself to sleep in a matter of seconds.” His expression darkens at that, and now you’re starting to think that you should stop.

But where’s the fun in that?

“You couldn’t handle even half the shit you said online, you cowardly little prude, you tiny dicked—”

You don’t realize his hands are on you until you're backed against the wall, one tightly gripping your hip while the other lands on your chest keeping you firmly in place.

“You never shut up. Even in your streams and videos you're constantly yammering on, whimpering and whining and begging.” His voice is low, buzzing around your ears and in your head. You look down at the tent forming in his shorts, mouth drying and watering simultaneously.

“That for me?” Your tongue feels thick as you look up at him through your lashes.

The hand on your chest inches up, until his palm settles against your throat and you're left wondering if he’ll indulge you by tightening his fingers. Even just a little.

“Even now, can’t shut the fuck up.” He moves in closer, until his hardened cock is against your thigh and he’s forcing his knee between yours. “I asked what you wanted, not for you to insult me.”

“You-”

“So I’ll tell you what I want.” And you feel so wildly out of your depth, there’s a cognitive dissonance you can’t quite escape. Good church boy Mark means wholesome activities, ice cream in the park, farmer’s markets and, and–

“And then you’re gonna try again for me.”

“M-Me?” It comes out lamely. Is this really Mark Lee? You think belatedly. Looking at you like he wants to tear you apart inch by inch with nothing but his teeth and tongue.

“I want you on my tongue, on my cock, want you begging for me to stop but it’s all just a filthy fucking lie. I want you to want me to ruin you, this, us.” His voice is raspier, laced with a desperation and craving you’ve never heard before and damn do you need to hear more, so much more.

“So try again. Tell me what you want.” And you can see it, that plea in his eyes for you to just say it. To know you want this as badly as he does, the promise, the threat of him finally letting go looming over the two of you.

“Want.” You grab him by the face, pressing your nose against his and staring into the black depths of his pupils. “Want good boy Mark Lee to die right before my eyes, wan’ you to eat me ‘til nothin’ is left.”

It’s slurred, you’re delirious, so drunk off the way he’s already hard off of you screaming at him (or maybe it was getting caught), at the way he’s demanding you to express your want for him when you’d rather just be on your knees.

But the thing is you always have wanted, craved. That underlying itch to see one of your best friends let loose, the borderline wanting (what you thought was) a random stranger to break into your apartment and do filthy, unmentionable things to you. When you flipped over that IPad thinking you broke it to find yourself being the object of his debauched desire, when you saw his username on the site.

You ached.

It’s stupid and toeing the line of embarrassing with how badly you want, no, need him, how turned on by the fact he doesn’t even know which person to be in front of you. Doesn’t quite know how to be both.

“Let him die.” Is all he can say, having the audacity to take advantage of your stupor to kiss you. To push you back up against the wall and slot his lips against yours, pulling back just to dive back in before you could truly feel his absence. Over and over each one messier, hotter than the last as a debaucherous hunger flows between the two of you.

“You don’t get it.” He mumbles, pressing himself firmly against you, sweat starting to prickle against your skin. “When y-you started camming I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

And suddenly you could see it, vividly. Just behind your eyelids was Mark hunched over in his bed, one of your streams or videos playing in the background as he furiously chased his release. Only to be left wallowing in the shame of jerking it with cheap lotion to you, forced to clean himself off with even cheaper tissues and spending the rest of his night completely alone.

“Your perfect fucking pussy, for everyone to see…when I’ve been waiting.” He rasps, hands finding their way back onto your body. “Couldn’t stand it, couldn’t fuckin’ stand it.”

“Mm, Ma-ark…” Without hesitation he twists his head, allowing himself to sink his teeth at the base of your throat. Pulling away to focus another dark look at you, that heady mixture of unmitigated want and wicked promises swirling in his eyes.

“S’All I could think about, even with our friends.” He noses along your jaw, nipping at your earlobe as his breathing turns ragged. “Wanted to haul you onto the table and fuck you ‘til your head went dumb, ‘til all was left was you squealing like a fuckin’ whore while they all watched.”

There’s a cartoon halo of stars around your head, surely there is, each word from his mouth adding another to the ditzy constellation circling your brain. This is him, this is Mark ‘Golden Boy’ Lee and his once hidden (and so deliciously unhinged) silver tongue.

“Pl-Please, oh fu— please.” His lips are back to working against your throat, and just as you try to reach up and grab at him, to try and sway him into relieving some of the tension building in the air.

He steps back, yanking at your arm.

Yet he doesn’t give you a chance to simply fall, or even react. Instead he uses your off-kilter balance to push you onto your knees, thankful that he’s a sloppy loser when you land on a pile of clothes.

“This.” He doesn’t bother being shy about tugging his shorts and boxers off in one fluid motion. “This is how I want you.”

He pauses, as if to let you admire the view and you’re not nearly above doing so as your eyes roam so shamelessly.

Of course he’s cut, with neatly trimmed hair adorning his groin. And though he's just above average in length, he definitely makes up in girth. You think hazily that calling him tiny dicked was definitely a lie.

Your mouth waters.

He lets out a low chuckle of all things, surely laughing at the way your eyes have widened. And maybe you did let your tongue swipe over your lips in anticipation.

“Go ahead, before I make it hurt.” His words are delayed, understanding creeping in slowly; impaired by having long let that fog of desperation cloud your mind.

You move before you can think, nosing along the side of his cock, pressing a kiss to a cute little mole that you hope to revisit at a later date. But for now you’re flattening your tongue against the base of his shaft and dragging it up his length at a frustrating rate.

He’s heavy on your tongue, thick and heavy and so so hot, and fuck he tastes good or maybe you’re just already addicted. Doomed from the start.

There’s a war raging in your mind, whether to try your hardest to please him with your mouth, all too tempted to hear the pretty, desperate sounds he’ll make and maybe it’ll earn you a bit of praise. Or to tease until he’s pissed off enough to throw any regard for you and your (throat’s) wellbeing out the window.

The latter is far more appealing.

Coyly you look up at him again through your lashes once more, bringing your tongue to tease at the tip of his cock, licking off a bead of precum forming.

“Are you tryin’ to blow me or piss me off?” Ah, so he has you all figured out.

“Haven’t decided.” You reply properly by taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before sinking further down and ignoring the slightly uncomfortable stretch of your lips. You could get used to this.

Languidly you try to mind your teeth as you sink further down, your jaw aching at the unprecedented stretch. Shallowly you bob your head, barely giving anything as you look up to meet his burning gaze.

“Enough.” He groans, clearly sick of the teasing as his hand comes around to hook his fingers around the back of your head.

It’s enough of a warning as your hands come up to grip at his bare thighs, whimpering at the first tentative thrust. Unable to escape, knees aching and you can’t help but wonder how damp your panties will be by the time you get them off.

He’s careful at first, not to be too rough in his movements, trying to be considerate of your comfort. It’s ridiculous, and you let him know as much by stabbing your nails into his thighs only forcing him to accidentally bottom out.

Tears well in your eyes as you choke, gagging around the sinfully thick intrusion into your throat.

“Woah! Fuck, I’m sor-”

He starts to pull away, and desperately you chase after him. But the fucker pulls out, grabbing you by the cheeks to look you in the eyes.

“Do I have to start calling you names again?” Your voice is already wrecked, but not nearly enough, it could be worse, so much worse. If he would just fully let go. “Or are you just scared?”

He blinks at you, once, twice, those stupidly big eyes of his narrowing into something dangerous.

“Two taps if it’s too much.”

“It won’t be.” You barely finish the sentence as he grabs you on either side of your head with both hands, pressing the leaking head of his cock against the seam of your lips, precum smearing across. You barely open your mouth before he’s shoving his entire cock down your throat again.

You can see him, blurred by the tears stuck to your lashes, watching you with such reverence as you pitifully try to relax, still unable to avoid gagging and choking. Yet this time he offers no reprieve, keeps you firmly in place as tears stream down your face and your nails continue to dig into his thighs.

“T-That’s it, choke.” The break in his voice sends something hot through your chest, snaking through the rest of your body and creeping into your veins. How embarrassed would you really be if you came just from having your throat fucked?

“Where are you?” Your wandering thoughts immediately cease, drawn back in by his fingers dancing along your cheekbone before settling at the back of your head.

He doesn’t even have the decency to let you catch your breath after pulling your attention, shallow thrusts turning reckless as he fucks your face with little regard for you— it’s everything you’ve every wanted from him.

It sends another surge of heat down into your belly, pooling between your thighs and now you’re wondering if your poor panties will even be salvageable after this.

“Fuck that’s it, so fuckin’ good for me.” He bites his lip, and a part of you wishes you could be tugging on it too with your teeth.

Use me, use me, use me. The thought fills your mind, leaving room for nothing else but Mark and his cock and your jaw and throat struggling to keep up.

Frantically you tap on his calf, his response instantaneous.

“You good?” He pulls out again, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip to wipe away a mess of spit and precum.

“Need you,” and you could care less how your voice shakes and rasps, “need you in me so bad. Fuck me.”

Your fingers dig into his thighs as you muster up the best pitiful look possible, silently begging for more.

“C-Condom, need, condom.” He huffs, looking around his room frantically.

“Like hell, what happened to painting my insides huh?” Shakily you stand up, managing to push him towards the bed which he doesn’t even bother resisting. “Thought you wanted your cum dripping from my pussy for days.”

And he fucking growls, the sound so wildly animalistic you can barely believe it came from him.

“That what you want? You wanna feel me for days?” You’re on your back in a matter of seconds, his forearms landing on either side of your head to cage you in. He’s staring you down with an uncharacteristic intensity; a predator sizing up his prey.

“Ruin me for anybody else.” It comes out broken, desperation seeping from each word. How much more do you need to bend before he finally breaks?

He’s back on you, a barrage of teeth and tongue assaulting your flesh as his hands leave no part of you untouched, kneading and feeling. Just as you try to bring your own shirt over your head he pushes away your hands, allowing him to take over stripping you bare.

Each caress of his fingers leaves a trail of fire, almost too hot to bear.

“Please Marky, please.” It comes out high and whiny and so very needy. “Touch me more.”

“I’ll give you what you want, just lemme…fuck lemme look at you.” He catches your wrists just as you try to bring your hands up to cover your face, pinning your arms against your sides as his eye shamelessly trace over your figure. There’s a glint of something hungry, swirled with something akin to adoration.

“Y-You like m-me, you’re obsessed.” You

“Yeah, I really fucking am.” He’s grinning, all teeth with a hint of gums that makes your heart somehow pound even harder and you know you’re well and truly fucked. “Like you s’much gonna keep you on my cock forever.”

He lets go of your hands, grabbing at your thighs to spread them apart, callused fingers dragging up until he’s almost carelessly pressing a finger into you.

“Fuck, you can… o-oh keep me!” You whimper as he bullies one, then two more fingers into your throbbing cunt— there’s a determination bordering on desperation creasing his brow in order to prep you as quickly as possible.

“Next time, I’ll spend fuckin’ hours doin’ this.” You whine as he drags his fingers out of you.

His hands hook under your thighs, pressing up and up until he can hook your legs over his shoulders and he’s pressing the blunt head of his cock against your hole. There’s a slight sting as he pushes in, the stretch unfamiliar and despite how wet you are some lube would’ve helped.

But you well and truly could care less.

“I don’t care who sees this, you, I’m the only one who gets to touch, the only one who gets to fuck you like this.” He rasps, bottoming out in one harsh thrust and punching the air out of your lungs.

He’s kind enough to let you catch your breath, indulging you with a few soft kisses along your jaw and nipping at your bottom lip. But it doesn’t last long, following a sloppy kiss with a tentative grind of his hips, then a soft thrust.

Those desperate whines you usually play up for your streams easily escaping your lips as he builds a steady rhythm.

“Yes, yes, yes, Mark.” It’s perfect, every single thrust is perfect, the way you're folded in half, the feeling of his fingers digging into you, the strain of toned muscles under flushed skin; so fucking perfect. “Only you.”

And you mean it, fully, wholeheartedly without any hesitation. Only Mark, if that’s what he wants then you want it too, whatever Mark wants he can have.

“M’Close, fuck, I’m so close.” You whimper, raking your fingers through his still damp hair.

“Already?” It spears through your chest, harsh and burning and tears down your belly.

There’s a split second of perfect silence interrupting the sound of skin slapping against skin, a ringing in your ears followed by the crash of your heart into your ribcage.

Pleasure slices down your spine, rippling through your body in crashing waves and leaving your head spinning.

He fucks you through the high, any chance of a coherent thought spilling right out of your ears, his name garbled and strained as it forces it’s way past your lips.

He slows, as if he’s about to waste both your time and do something stupid like pull out and finish on your stomach. And like hell you’re letting that happen, grabbing at his head with both hands and smashing your lips together, pulling away just enough to stare into blown pupils.

“Cum inside me, you bitch!” His teeth come down on your bottom lip, the bite of iron and tang of sweat and spit swirling together on your tongue dizzying, intoxicating. He slams back into you with a force you didn’t know he had, swallowing down a broken moan from his lips as he spills into you.

“I’m still gonna stream.” The two of you have settled on his now made bed, tucked under the covers. You had no problem letting Mark dress you in a clean tee and boxers, watching sleepily from his desk chair as he made his bed before depositing you in it.

“I’ll still watch.” He hums.

“And comment?” It brings up the matter from earlier, the one you never got an answer to. “Why didn’t you?”

“I…I didn’t know what to do. Uh, it was one thing, hiding, but then I thought you…didn’t…”

“Didn’t?” You raise your head, trying to level your gaze to his.

“Didn’t like m- it, the comments, those messages in chat, all of it. Thought you were just tryin’ to message me to stop. And then I got scared you somehow knew it was…me.” He has that sheepish look smearing his features, a hand coming up to scratch at his nape.

You stare at him silently, watching as his eyes bounce around your face searching for some hint of what you could possibly be thinking.

“Look where that got us, I can’t even feel my legs, oh my god you have to fuck me on stream, please!”

“H-Huh? Live? Yo I can’t just-”

“Think about it, Marky.” Aching hips and sore muscles be damned, you somehow manage to climb into his lap and straddle his thighs. “Fucking me, on camera, for everyone to see just what you do to me. I’d be so good for you.”

You can see it, what little resolve he had starting to crumble, just a little more.

“Don’t you want that?” It’s his words and he knows it, starting to see the monster he’s created. You run your fingers along his jaw, settling one hand on his shoulder while the other comes up to muss up fluffy brown locks. “Stretching me on your fat cock for my pitiful little viewers to see, wishing it was them driving me insane.”

“Baby…” The pet name from his lips is instantly addicting, and you need so much more of it.

“Please.” And now you’re not sure what you’re begging for, your body screams for you to stop, to not roll your hips against his because it’s far too soon to be fucked into the mattress again.

“If, if you don’t stop doing that.” He groans. “You’re not gonna be able to stream tomorrow.”

You blink.

“Wow you really are my biggest fan.”

“Huh?”

“Got my schedule memorized and everything, does that mean we could do it tomorrow? You’ll fuck me on stream tomorrow?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Seriously I–”

“Actually, cancel it.” He’s hooking his hands under your thighs, drawing you closer. “Don’t look at me like that, I said cancel it.”

“Mm, I don’t know if I can go again yet.” But there’s no conviction behind your words.

“You’re fine, I’ll do all the work.” You’re fine he says, it sends a thrill up your spine right into your brain, reworking the entire chemistry in there. It had been there in the back of your mind, slipping in somewhere between finding out his secret and that first kiss.

You’re absolutely hooked, simply addicted, to Mark Lee.

“Okay.” You grin at him.

#mark x reader #mark lee x reader #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #nct smut #nct 127 smut #– miki writes #– mark

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tiredsmashbros · 10 months ago

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SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

...

thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

#smg34 #smg4 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #smg43 #smg3 x smg4 #smg4 x smg3 #smg4 fanart #smg3 fanart #smg4 comic #smg34 comic #sketches #comic wip #comic #tsb 1k birthday party #tsb official

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pyrodolls · 9 months ago

Note

I love that Bayani is so damn clingy, but I would never confess that to him.

If we were unfaithful to him, would he still be with us?

IF YOU WERE UNFAITHFUL (SUPERFAN! YANDERE BOY X POPSTAR!READER)

WARNINGS: slight nsfw, mentions of vomit, cheating, death, stalking, depression, slight worshipper yandere, established relationship, lowercase intended, reader is gender neutral

A/N: hey guys peep the new acc layout and username omgggg! anyways thanks for all the birthday messages and also update on the bsf drama: i don't know for SURE if she's dating him, cuz she posted the picture of my ex but his face wasn't showing and the caption was talking abt her bf... so maybe she just HAPPENED to use that picture of my ex and the caption was talking about a whole different dude??? idk maybe im just delusional LMAOO but yeah i'm still friends with her cuz she's a total sweetheart and i'm sure it was just a coincidence. anyways sorry for taking such a long break, heres some bayani hcs!! btw guys... just between you and me... i too, am down bad for bayani and love how clingy he is. bring back kind and clingy men instead of men texting you "wyll" on snapchat

if you were unfaithful to bayani, he would most likely find out through the internet.

bayani is obsessed with you in every single way. so if he couldn’t be with you physically, he’d stalk you through the paparazzi or fans recording your concerts.

there was one concert that bayani unfortunately couldn’t attend. so he simply watched it through a fan’s livestream online. that’s how he noticed another popstar on stage with you. the crowd went wild and started screaming. the arena shook with the vibrations of your fans. the popstar with you started to sing and dance next to you. bayani was always jealous of anyone that got to be around you when he couldn’t, but this was different. the popstar on the stage with you was rumored to be dating you. fans on the internet had been speculating about your relationship for months, claiming that you two were “soulmates” and “secretly dating.”

it made bayani’s blood boil. but he knew it was bound to happen at some point, since you would often rant to him about how suffocating fame could be. he knew it wasn’t your fault. he wasn’t mad at you at all. he knew you still cared about him.

but the song ended, and the popstar next to you wrapped their arms around your body and connected their lips to yours.

the crowd started screaming once more, and the person recording the performance dropped their phone. bayani couldn’t see what was going on.

plus, the livestream was blurry so he couldn’t tell if you were pleased with the popstar’s advances or not.

either way, bayani dropped his phone and threw up.

the minute you arrived home from the concert, bayani ran up to you and grabbed onto your waist, clutching it desperately.

“was what i saw real? are you with that popstar now? are you saying the rumors i saw online were true? i tried to ignore them because i know how your fans can be, but still…” bayani babbled, crying as he spoke and his words slowly became unintelligible.

whether you were interested in the popstar or not didn’t matter. bayani would be on his knees, pleading for an explanation. he would spiral into a pit of self-deprecation, thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, so you went off with someone more attractive and more talented than him. he wouldn’t blame you at all. he wouldn’t be mad at you at all. he’d be mad at himself for not pleasing you enough.

if you weren’t interested in the popstar and it was simply a publicity stunt, you would have to gently hold bayani in your arms to calm him down and explain. he would be SO relieved. he’d still be upset, though. he would be relieved that you’re still interested in him, but he’d also be jealous someone got to kiss and hold you in front of millions of people. bayani would never tell you that, though. he’d try to suck it up and pretend that he’s cool with it, but you can tell he’s really upset (he’s a terrible liar) and you would have to reassure him that you’ll never do it again.

if you WERE interested in the popstar… uh wtf are you doing here?? jkjk but if you were actually dating the popstar, bayani would be crushed. he would probably beg you to stay with him and forget about the popstar, but he'd ultimately fail to convince you. he’s desperate, but he isn’t stubborn. if you rejected him over and over as he begged, he’d get the hint and leave you alone. he just wants you to be happy. as much as he hated seeing you with someone else, he’d want you to live your life however you want.

if you left him, bayani would fall into a deep depression, thinking he failed you. he would never be happy again. he would hate himself for messing up what could've been his perfect life. he could’ve been with you. he could’ve lived happily ever after as your servant for the rest of his life, but he wasn't good enough for you. even though you were the unfaithful one, he’d still believe you were the one in the right. it would haunt him for the rest of his life until he died.

#yandere x reader #sub yandere #yandere imagines #yandere #yandere boys x popstar reader #male yandere x reader #soft yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #male yandere #oc x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere boy #yandere bf #obsessive yandere

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pascalsbabyispunk · 2 months ago

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Ad Glorium Rome - part I

( a marcus acacius fan fic)

তততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

Summary: She is trapped in this arranged marriage, forced to play the perfect wife to a retched man who can't do anything for himself, let alone anyone he's supposed to care for. She's hoping for some divine miracle to fix this whole situation she's been forced into. He’s the general of Romes army, never married, known for his brutality on the battlefield, and his gruff handsome looks. He’s never thought about love like this, that is until he sees her. Long dark hair, the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen, and in need of someone who truly can treat her the way she deserves. Will they prevail through the odds, or will it all come crashing down?

w.c: 1240

PART II - MASTERLIST

Warnings: 18+ content (mdni pls) age gap (marcus is in his 50s reader is in her 20s), eventual smut, some angst, mentions of blood, mentions of abuse, maybe more later

NON CANON FOR THE MOST PART, it's also not entirely historically accurate lol

a/n: this is just part one, and the warnings are for the fic as a whole btw. im not sure how many parts this will be but i will try to update as often as i can. this is my first fic i've written so it may not be great lol

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

My father shouldn’t have agreed. I shouldn't have been the one he chose. I have 2 sisters, both more beautiful than I and a hell of a lot more willing, so why me? Was it the challenge of making me submit? Was it the joy of parading me around like I'm some prized animal? Was it because my father is one of the local consuls? Or maybe it was the pure greed, the only thing he knows beyond being a righteous ass. I had hoped that maybe once we were married that there would be some redeeming quality but if there is one, he refuses to show it. All I know now, is that I'm stuck. I'm stuck with him, locked away in this house, not allowed to speak to anyone, not allowed to wonder the grounds, not allowed to exist in the eyes of anyone anymore unless he permits it. I am a prisoner, not a bride. Marrying a son of one of the wealthiest patrician families seems like a dream for most, but for me it's only been a nightmare. and I'll be damned if I must live out my life with him.

We have been married for almost 3 months now, but it's felt like an eternity. Cassius...just saying his name makes me want to retch, has somehow gotten worse in his controlling nature. I'm doomed to live here with nothing and no one, not until he can successfully put a baby in my womb that is, but he can't even do that. I wish I could return to my father's house and scream and yell at him. I wish he knew that he ruined my life. I would have preferred anyone else, even one of the old ones on the council. I could be living alone in the woods, or on the coast, or anywhere alone, happily deemed unmarriable. I no longer care that my wants and dreams would bring shame to my family. My father deserves it all. Cassius has declared that we must go to the convivium tonight, to mingle and show how our love has flourished. I can only hope my sisters are going to be there, so I have an excuse to roam a little from him. He wouldn't dare to withhold that from me when there's potential eyes on us. I have heard that my older sister, Faustina, is being courted by one of the decurions, I am jealous, but I'm happy that she won't have the same fate as me. From my knowledge, those men seem decent. Of course none would show their true temper outside, in front of the public, but I digress. My younger sister, Camilla, she won't be ready for marriage for at least 2 years, but I hope by then there will be a perfectly suitable husband for her as well. Anyway, this convivium is to celebrate one of the men moving up in the council, it's beyond me why we must be there to celebrating such a menial thing. Cassius has nothing to do with the council; he does nothing except spend his family's money and come home drunk and blame me for his pathetic life. I wish Cassius would go on his own, but no, his dotting wife must be there to make him look ever so perfect just so none of them forget his place in society. Just once, I'd like to be allowed to make the choice to go on my own, but I've never had that. Maybe there will be some kind of divine intervention and he or I will be struck down and I'll be freed from this torturous life, I doubt I'd ever be that lucky.

Before we left the house, Cassius reprimanded me for making him look bad because one of his “friends” pointed out that I am yet to be with child. It must be my fault he fails to perform his basic duties; it couldn't possibly be his fault. I fear for the fight after we return home tonight, he's aways awful after any party, but worse when we fight beforehand. At the convivium, it's the same as it always is, Fake smiles, even faker conversations. Faustina has arrived with my father and her future husband; he seems decently handsome and is intelligent. I am truly happy she has a good man next to her but the ache I feel in my chest when I think of how that should have been me, is insurmountable. I was only allowed to talk briefly with them before Cassius dragged me away to greet some of his family's close friends, one is a consul from a neighbouring city. He speaks of how the army has been rooting around in each town and city looking for more able men. Naturally, Cassius laughed this off because how could anyone of his social standing be even considered, and unfortunately for me, he's right. No one like him will ever be forced to do anything. The feast is prepared, and we all sit to eat. This is the only good part of this night as the food is delectable, the figs are better than I think they've ever been, and the venison was perfectly cooked, and the wine was amazingly spiced. This feast was one of, if not, the best I've had since I was a child. The party droned on as usual after the feast had ended and some people start to say their goodbyes and leave. Normally I'd want to be the first gone but I fear for what lies ahead of me when we get home. Cassius is drunk, and bolstering on about god knows what and I'm hoping he falls asleep before he can do any harm. My family had left about an hour or so ago and all I can think about is how I wanted to sneak away with them. Please let this misery end. I don't even care how anymore whether it's me or him. Please, just something. The party has died down significantly now, and Cassius is staggering his way to the door, I know I must follow him, and I will, but it’s taking everything in me to not run through the grounds as fast as I can, knowing he can't follow in this condition. We head home and I almost have to fully carry him to our bedchambers once we arrived because he's almost asleep now. He’s lying in bed now, mumbling to himself and I can't bring myself to join him, so I sit by the window just watching the sky change colours. It's almost serene, just hearing his snoring, the wind blowing, the waves crashing in the distance. These are the moments that I take just for me, taking deep breathes, enjoying it all. The view is somehow more beautiful at night, but I can't shake the thoughts of the army coming possibly coming here. They’re never gentle, they take what they want and destroy anything in their way. I'm concerned for the poor innocent people who will have to face their wrath if they decide our cities men are useless. Just as the thoughts feel like they are finally passing, I hear shouting and horses in the distance. I feel like I should run, or hide, or just do anything but I can't, they have arrived, there's nowhere to run to now, except maybe into the eye of the storm.

তততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

This is just the first part but please let me know what you think! This is my first fan fiction that I’ve written so my apologies if its not great 🫣

#marcus acacius #marcus acacias x reader #marcus acacius x you #marcus acacius x female reader #gladiator ll #gladiator 2 #marcus acacius fic #pedro x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #marcus acacius smut

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lzrsaugust · 3 months ago

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Tamlin headcannons (w/ a lil doodle) for @tamlinweek

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

Day 1: Forgiveness/Change

headcanons/plot ideas that I have been thinking of but never got around to writing, maybe I will some day, but I might as well put the ideas out rn :D

(I yap a lot and this is stream of thought kind of typing and its not edited so... be warned, and forgive my spelling)

Lil pink one was what I prepared originally but I didn't like it so heres a wip Ill never finish; genderbend sad boi (gorl) Tamlin

hmmmm... idk much about forgiveness, but sometimes I like to think abt before he became high lord?... something something family drama, something something explore his family's characters' relation to him and stuff

the only thing we really kinda know abt the brothers is that they would abuse Tam, and my headcanon is that this is part of his father's manipulations. Their father (imma call him Cernunnos for now, plz dont come after me i havn't had the time to research deeply yet), would pit the brothers against each other. which lowk ties w/ another headcanon that 1. children of spring come in pairs,especially that of high lord's family, 2. Cernunnos would kill his own children. So Tam used to have many elder siblings who rebeled against their father and died, b/c they worked together and was able to almost overthrow this tyrant, Cernunnos then started to sepereate his children via sepereate education, torture and stuff. he would use shapeshifting powers to impersonate the brothers to torment (as in torture and stuff) the others and create rifts in their relationship, keeping them controlled and mostly trusting in him, hes like a sweet manipulator rat better take notes.

ANYWAYS BACK TO FORGIVENESS, at some point, Tamlin and the brothers find out. (oh btw the brothers are one of the surviving set of twins, and tam either had a twin, who died/was killed at birth, or was born alone plot reasons) The twins themselves are already pretty tight, they have a lil bit of an age gap- im thinking 20-25 ish years right so, they find out when tams 20-30 ish so at least 2 decades after the human war. at first shit is awkward, like bro i thought u sliced and diced and dissected me (shapeshifting powers dont ask, ill elaborate day uh 4); so they try civility, One of the brothers have a lover and illegitamate (technically since they arn't married) and they bond and stuff right, and they slowly start to trust and like bond as brothers :D

the twins being trained to be heirs know how bad of a state the spring court is in, how the tyranny of Cernunnos is destroying their court. so they plot to overthrow him, doing more bonding and healing :D

a couple months later the incident w/ the night court happens and his fresh bonds w/ his brothers are abruptly severed. that started out as Cernunnos calling all his sons into his office, presenting the bodies of the lover, child and tams friend- The night court princess, they fight and the spring mansion turns into an open battleground, they have a huge fight and the twins protecting Tam, gets injured, then rat and his father come and then shit goes down.

for the longest time Tam struggles with forgiving himself, if his brothers wern't injured protecting him they would have survived, if they were more careful, things would be better. centuries later, as spring falls to hybern he kinda relives this and he really just stuggles with forgiving himself, hes too much of a softie and cares too much and is too perceptive and self aware to blame anyone else

that probably made little sense but tldr; more angst for Tam, bc life hates him

Moving on to change,

I was kinda thinking of how Tam essentially had to rebuild his court 3.5 times kinda, 1.the first time when he became high lord, 0.5 when ammyranthy comes in with her special bran of tyranny (him accepting refugees into his court and the chaos of what rat does), 2, when her reign ends, 3 after hybern, so my boi is really going through it

following the death of his family, hes really going through it, the old corrupt officials of the court try to take advantage of him and stuff, and like he can see how the old way aint gonna do shit if he really wants to build a court where people canhave the freedom he won't ever truely get

so in the attempts to change the ruling system as, he kicked all of the officials out of the court (the corrupt ones), he just listed names at a meeting, and went "xyz, abc, def. and so, youre now exiled from the capital (or smth) you may go"

tactless and an absolute disaster, those nobles/officials then went on to spread rumors about how, theyre being replaced as the start of a new tyrant's reign, uh timeline wise, hes about 60 ishhh bc fae age slowly hes pretty much a teen on the throne, which just givesmore ammunition to his enemies in court. reputation in tatters, he continues to try to fix spring, he cant just abandon them bc shit is hard, no matter what happened with his father this is still his home. so he tries, by day hes tryna pull stuff together with the remaining officials, by night studying court customs, laws and other stuff he needs to know but never got a chance (or really wanted to) learn.

i headcanon that he tried to change the system so that the people has a say in what happens and stuff, after sometime and kicking the corrupt people out (or before), he goes and visits each corner of his court, check in on the people, get to know them, see what they want, propose them choose someone to represent their region or species or both, to build a council for democracy and shit (fae that he grows to trust to shut him up if hes being stupid) around this time, while living like a nomad going around his court, his somewhat friendly aquaitence (?????) eris, sends a message (personally i think this is his first time meeting lucien) and they take him back to spring.

time passes, the the court grows and florishes, inner court peace, everyone gets along and stuff, rainbows and sunshines yipee! he even has allies in other court (largely a cortesy of Lucien, its not that Tam doesn't have friends in other courts, eris, former heirs of summer and winter ect, tam just sucks when dealing with official stuff) then amyranthy happens.

😮‍💨 oh boy.. anyways

refugees move in, all sorts of fae, low budget elves, faery, spirits and stuff, and slowly spring changes again, the acceptance of other court fae, the spring community, mostly accepting but cautious of other courts get more and more friendly with the refugees, and at some point, some of them become citizens of spring staying even after utm

after utm, rebuilding the court was still lowk hell. everything was pretty rough being overrun by amyranthy's, and the return of the high fae from under the mountain, things are mostly going smoothly bc of the council and stuff, but as Tam still insists on doing both the ruling part and clearing the monsters to not lose more sentry lives, hes stretched realll thin but its fine, its fine, idk what going on with canon, i think feyres pov is kinda fucked up for reasons (but i digress) i like to think that while it used to start out for taxes, it no longer is, its more of a gathering, of the people, for a 10 days or smth, they come together, celebrate meet with the high lord, open booths for buisnesses and trade and its over all a very celebratory thing that happens yearly (most taxes are already collected, by region and those in charge.)

anyways after the shitshow of feyre, its like the 3rd time he has to pull his court together and at this point hes fucking tired, but his like nah i gotta be there for spring, swore his loyalty and stuff, and his council is like, nah get out of here take a break, which is not really a great idea bc hes in a poor mental state to be left alone.

through all of this, he went from being a happy child, to being a soldier, then forced to wear the crown. he did it well considering his background.

born a poet, forced to be the soldier- then the king ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა

eheeh mightve gone a lil bit off topic ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

#tamlin headcanons #pro tamlin #tamlinweek2025 #general tamlin #tamlin week 2025

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lexithwrites · 1 year ago

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sorry for the long read but this is important (aka lets talk about plagiarism)

hello! so, if anyone remembers the other day i posted a lil snippet for a smutshot involving remus/sirius/james. originally, someone got very upset about the lack of tags and accused me of writing SA—it was not SA, it was teasing someone and edging them, but i digress. people misread things all the time and thats whatever—and they privately messaged me accusing the same thing and saying i needed to tag better as i had triggered them. i deleted the post not wanting to upset anyone else, apologised for upsetting them then whilst trying to explain my work and explain how it wasnt SA, they blocked me. that's fair and i moved on learning my lesson as i clearly did something wrong.

what isn't fair, is rewriting said work for yourself and posting it on YOUR ao3 account.

i was sent the story and commented:

you deleted this post almost immediately and proceeded to say it isn't plagiarism. this is the definition of plagiarism btw:

that's what you did. it's the exact same scenario, it's a threesome, and the dialogue is VERY similar. the premise for the scene is the same. I've got some screenshots of both works below to highlight this:

MINE:

THEIRS:

now this isn't word for word, obviously, and theirs is a longer one shot with other plot points involved, but these scenes are similar. the dialogue in particular is similar. its a slap in the face honestly; to be given shit by someone and then see that they decided to use it for themselves.

there is always consent in my work, i've never had anyone say before that this is an issue as my finished works have discussions of safe words and safe sex and boundaries. pretty much everything i've ever written that involves sex has a conversation regarding safe words. i clearly tagged it wrong and i will admit that. i will take the blame for that and tag accordingly from now on.

but you used my work for your own. and also (since you added this to the ao3 post i'll include it) you admitted to using my work:

'inspired by some drama'

YOU REWROTE WHAT I MADE. YOU USED SIMILAR DIALOGUE. THE SAME SETTING. YOU JUST MADE IT YOUR OWN AND ARE ACTING LIKE THAT ISN'T PLAGIARISM??

like—

just because you didn't think i would 'appreciate' being mentioned does not mean you do it?? you literally admitted to 'tweaking' it and writing it yourself. this is such stupid fucking drama and so unnecessary what did you want to gain from this??

do not use other peoples fucking work. SIMPLE.

also i shouldnt have to say this but dont give this person shit. dont send hate in my name, its not worth it and not the point of this post whatsoever .im not naming them, they know who they are even if they've blocked me. i dont care if you see this, honestly i hope you see it. just please take plagiarism seriously because its annoying af and weird

ANYWAY have a lovely day <3

#the marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #whatever man

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stolaz-the-artist · 6 days ago

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‼️Nexo week 6/28‼️

Alright this is a big one

I was a bit puzzled for what i would do with the Nexo power prompt, and of course i came up with an idea that really stretches the borders of this

Now, we know that Merlok had Nexo powers (obv) and Monstrux sort of had his nock off version of that. But what about Wanda? What if she had her own nexo powers?

So this is very much like my own personal borders for like a season 5 layout. A layout decently inspired by @jesterrrrr-x 's S5.

It imprinted on my so much i was fully convinced it was confirmed that Fletch followed Clay into the desert and was shocked when i couldn't find any info of it on the WIki. anyways, So basically what happens is that Clay ventures out to find whatever he's looking for (guidance, answers, belonging, who knows) and while he ventures he finds this secret book which belonged to his mother. He wants nothing to do with it, but feels obligated to bring the book just in case. Maybe it could be proven useful.

While venturing he runs into new monsters, but these are different. Nexo powers don't work on them. Like barely at all. They seem to be too weak. So he resorts to trying to escape, but gets cornered. He, against his better judgement, opens the book in hope of finding some help within it. (While also begging that it was made BEFORE she turned evil and trying to avoid any further evil influence.) The spell he finds seems to work VERY well. Killing the monster. When Clay sets up camp for the night, he cant resist scouring through the book, and finding sort of comfort from within its bindings

magic "download idea"

"Ugh, of course it's her stuff. I want absolutely nothing to do with it!" - "However, i refuse to participate in the family tradition of ignoring things until it grows massively out of proportion. Besides, i can't figure out how to close it, and leaving it out for anyone to find is probably a lot more dangerous" (It being the thing that hid the book btw)

"Of course, why would nexo powers work? Im alone, vulnerable and quite fed up. Make it easier, why don't you!" - "Ugh i'm starting to sound like Lance"

"I've been talking too much with myself. I don't care that it's probably because i'm isolated, i'm blaming you.

"It's not the knights code, but it'll have to do." - "So many warning bells are going off in my head right now."

"Please be from before you were evil, please be from before you were evil, please be from before you were evil ..." "Holy shit that's potent"

"A bag? How strangely ... fitting."

Bag, vial storage.

Yeah Fletch does play a bigger role here, but i just didn't put much emphasis on it for the sake of establishing the important stuff. You'll see more of Fletch next week.

Now for something a bit different.

Thats right, IM PUBLISHING A FIC AGAIN AFTER 5 YEARS! And OF COURSE I GO IN FOR ANGST!

AND THERES MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. It's still in the works thought, BUT MY POINT STANDS! Im just so excited to start publishing fic's again after so long!

Also Clay's hand IS supposed to be golden but i just couldn't get it to look right nor not ugly, i just left it. I hate it anyway. but, if you wanna read it, here is the link!

I really hope ya'll like it! Yet again, as usually, i have to thank @localcryptid3 for answering all my questions and such, You can still join the event, and i would recommend it. Plus, i did make a promise to tag @edgyphaze4everr whenever i was gonna publish this fic, so here ya go! (They also make fic's on there, so if ya have any time, perhaps check out other peoples posts as well!)

Woo this was a doozy. But so much fun and SOO exciting!

#nexo knights #lego nexo knights #clay moorington #nexo knights clay #nexo knights clay moorington #lego nexo knights clay #lego nexo knights clay moorington #nexo knights fanart #nexoknights #nexo knights fan art #art #fanart #nexo knights animation #digitalart #digitl art #nexoweek2025

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charlies-trainhopping · 11 days ago

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Hello... I have one question — when you started to really like Shizuku?

Yess, Noi want to know too!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~★~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Ion and Noi, who is inside — 💧🔥

OhohohOOOOO DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!!! THANKS FOR ASKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEEHE

Okay okay. So, rewind to like...january this year, and I'm looking through pjsk ship fanart right??? And i stumble across a Shizuai (btw i didnt even know their ship name at the time and i wasn't invested in mmj like at all cuz i had rui brainrot at the time) post from Emotsper and I was like "waow! That's kinda cute actually!"

Post from january for proof ^

And so I started scrolling through the shizuai tag some more and I was like. Hooked. Hooked hooked. Im a sucker for best friends to lovers pipeline btw. I was so obsessed with Shizuai within like a week i made a whole art post about it

MY VERY FIRST SHIZUAI FANARTTT (dont look to close thats old ass art.......I DIDNT EVEN TAG IT SHIZUAI WAS I STUPI)

AND THEN WHILE SCROLLING THROUGH THE SHIZUAI TAG FIVE DAYS LATER, I STUMBLED ACROSS THIS POST

So i went feral basically. So like. I was not normal about this. It would start at the beginning february, and i was waiting anxiously and began drawing like way sooner in advance because i just had SO MANY IDEAS. SO I DREW ART. LIKE, A LOT. And you can SEE my progression in like..everything through ONE WEEK. CHECK FOR YOURSELF MY ART QUALITY SKYROCKETED BECAUSE OF SHIZUAI WEEK 2025.

Anyways, after the shizuai week, i was still drawing the lesbians. But for some reason, shizuku hinomori just stuck out to me. Even though Airi is more similar to me in personality, I just REALLY liked Shizuku, and this was like before I really read MMJ's stories. So i kept drawing Shizuku and I finally got around to reading MMJ and her events.

Oh my god. The events. THE EVENTS FUCKING BROKE ME BY THE WAY. (Also shizuai crashout in mainstory actually made me cry btw)

THE EVENTS. HOLY SHIT. SHIZUKUS "MY COLOR" FOCUS RESONATED TO ME SO MUCH. I FELT FOR HER SO BADLY AND CRIED GENUINE TEARS OVER HER SELF PERCEPTION OF SELF AND WAS SO HAPPY WHEN SHE HAD HER REALIZATION THAT SHE DIDN'T NEED TO BE PERFECT. "THE MOON RABBIT AND US" SOLIDIFIED MY LOVE FOR THE HINOMORI SIBLINGS, "CAST A SPELL ON YOU", BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE THE SET UP TO "AT THE END OF THE UNRAVELED THREAD", I LOVE HER CONFRONTATION WITH ARISA AND I LOVE HOW SHE ACCEPTS THAT SHE MADE MISTAKES WITH CHEERFUL*DAYS AND THAT SHE REALLY WASN'T MEANT TO BE THEIR LEADER, BUT SHE'S OKAY WITH THAT, AND SHE SEES ARISA AS THE OBJECTIVELY MORE EXPERIENCED AND BETTER SUITED LEADER DESPITE ALL THE BULLSHIT ARISA PUT HER THROUGH. "THE WARMTH OF A GUIDING HAND" AAAAUGH GOD SHIZUKU IS JUST. SO WONDERFUL IN HER FOCUSES AND MIXED EVENTS AND SIDE STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways so the stories solidified my love for Shizuku Hinomori, and I cried to the 3dmv of "I am, we are" and Metamo Re:born was the first song I ever attempted a master chart. I have most of her commissions memorized, i'm trying to memorize most of her 4* card titles ("I'm not just anyone, i'm "me", "Feels like magic!" "Saving you from falling" "Did it fall over?")

So over the months, I have absolutely obsessed over Shizuku Hinomori! She's improved my artwork a lot and also has been my autistic hyperfixation and she makes me sososo happy!! I really love being knowledgeable on her, and she really impacted my life positively!

Tldr; found shizuai week, pipeline to obsession. Aka, blame emotsper /j /lh

#im sorry this is so long lol #shizuku hinomori obsession origin story #yes im giving this a tag #asks #charlie chatters #shizuku hinomori

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stormyoceans · 11 months ago

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random thoughts and recollections about the jimmysea and pondphuwin fanmeet in rome!!!!!!!!

WARNING. this is just a ridiculous amount of obnoxious ramblings by yours truly with basically no pictures whatsoever because 1) im terrible at taking them, 2) my phone is old and has terrible quality, 3) even when @petrichoraline so kindly offered me her spare phone to take some decent photos and videos i almost yeeted it across the room in the midst of things, so. yeah, just be aware these are a lot of boring words ;;;;;;;;

ANYWAY. let's get into it!!!!!!!

JIMMYSEA PHOTO SESSION

putting the jimmysea photo session LITERALLY FIRST THING FIRST sure was a choice and not a good one for my heart which clearly shows in my picture with them because i look like a deer caught in headlights (im not subjecting y'all to my face but trust me on this i was SHAKING)

with the way the queue and the room were set up i feel like it was so much easier to look at and make eye contact with sea rather than jimmy, so at the end i whipped around to thank jimmy too and i think i automatically tried to wai to both of them, which i hope wasn't inappropriate ;;;;;;;;;; in my defense everything that was going on in my head in that moment was FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY'RE ACTUALLY REAL AND SO HANDSOME FUCK

also i had no pose in mind and i ended up panicking ;;;;;;;;

(more ramblings under the cut)

PONDPHUWIN Q&A PANEL

i bought the cheapest pass for them at the last second so i was sitting very far in the back during their panel and yet i could still see pond's jawline from all the way over there like i swear that shit is so sharp it could cut glass

i keep forgetting just how young phuwin actually is because he both looks and sounds so mature and confident and suave it's honestly insane

although one of the games was like. one of them had to be blindfolded and try to guess which pose the other was making just by touching them, and at the very beginning when pond put the blindfold on phuwin kept running away from him which was both so funny and cute

also the host kept putting up numbers with his hand and asking 'how many are these' to a blindfolded pond and one of those times pond answered by going 🤟 and i was like POND GOD DAMMIT

btw phuwin invited everyone to the GMM building so jot that down. if anyone gets there and securities asks you something y'all can blame him now (jk)

phuwin's favorite scene in we are is the art room scene with a sleeping phum in episode 11, while pond's is the pool scene always in episode 11. THE TASTE THE VISION THE FLAVOR TRULY MEN AFTER MY OWN HEART

JIMMYSEA Q&A PANEL

i was sitting in the second row for the jimmysea panel so i could catch so many small moments i absolutely loved such as:

they had to press a buzzer for questions and they always did that together, with jimmy's hand being on top of sea's like 5 times out of 6

jimmy poured some water for both himself and sea and he made sure that sea drank some

there was a game with balloons where the two sides of the audience were supposed to get the balloons to the back and then bring them back to the boys, and we failed spectacularly on jimmy's side (HE FELT SO BETRAYED IM SO SORRY BBY), so when the balloon got to sea very quickly he pushed it back towards the audience to buy jimmy's some time

both p'tha and p'aof were actually sitting next to the audience on my side of the room watching jimmysea panel and in my head i was like EXCUSE ME SIRS CAN WE TALK [slides monopoly money towards p'tha for a new jimmysea series] [has WORDS with p'aof]

so the way questions worked was like. they had to press a buzzer and after that a spinning wheel with different colors would come up on screen and on whichever color it stopped on they had to pick a piece of paper of that same color with a random question written on it. during one of the spins, the wheel landed on yellow and jimmy picked one of the papers, but i think because of the lighting it actually looked green from the audience's pov, so everyone was screaming 'that's green'. however jimmy insisted that it was yellow, and that what we were saying was yellow was actually orange (the host was agreeing with jimmy but sea was agreeing with us so im still a bit confused on the matter sfjksgfj). then the host said 'we're still gonna do this one' (as in the yellow/green one that jimmy had already picked) but jimmy went 'two questions' and picked one of the yellow/orange ones too, so the host just turned towards the organizers like well since he's the one who said so. JIMMY JITARAPHOL TRULY A MAN OF THE PEOPLE (but also please stop giving nomnoms reasons to have beef with the color orange sfjkshfksg)

actual thing that happened:

host: describe each other in 3 words

jimmy: very cute creature. he's my cat

sea: my good boy

me: WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WITNESSING RN

jimmy said he would like to play a detective in a future series and i almost vibrated out of my seat like YES PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES THAT'S A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP P'THA ARE YOU HEARING THAT PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I COULD GIVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sea said he wants to play a dentist but he actually meant dermatologist, he just messed up the word, and jimmy said that if we want him to be a dentist as well we should give him six more years sfjksjksf

at one point sea said 'mamma mia' and i burst out laughing so hard that's when i almost flung @petrichoraline's phone across the room (and that's when i also decided it was just better for everyone involved if i didn't try to take pictures or record stuff ;;;;;;;;;)

they also had to act out some words and when the host said 'sleep' sea was like 'i thought he (jimmy) would point at me' SON WHY ARE YOU CALLING YOUR OWN ASS OUT ✋😭 (and of course jimmy took the chance to point out that sea did in fact sleep right before the panel)

when the host said the word 'love' sea pointed at jimmy and jimmy pointed at the audience and then they were both quick at mimicking each other (so jimmy also pointed at sea, and sea also pointed at the audience)

SEA IS SUCH A GOOD SINGER AND JIMMY GOT SO MUCH BETTER TOO I WILL GENUINELY ACCEPT NO SLANDER TOWARDS THEM WHEN IT COMES TO SINGING AFTER THIS FANMEET

it was established that the most important words in italian are 1) mamma (mom), 2) pasta, 3) pizza, 4) ti amo (i love you). hard to disagree with that tbh

i think after this fanmeet i've really got to give it to jimmy and admit he actually might be an extrovert because he was just soooooooo ridiculously charming and witty and quick on his feet when it came to find funny answers and deal with some sound issue during his song like i really do think he shines when he's around people

i think you can tell sea is definitely more reserved compared to jimmy but what he doesn't have in expansiveness he makes it up with being so incredibly endearing like he really is just SO. DAMN. CUTE. (even if he tried to give me a heart attack by having his arms out for the fanmeet PUT THOSE GUNS AWAY SIR)

AUTOGRAPH SESSION

had a chance to get a closer look to pond and phuwin when they all walked inside the room and im trying to say this in a way that doesn't make me sound like an insane creep but like. the sheer amount of FACE pond has. i've seen him with my own two eyes and i still can't believe that's a real human being just going around his life. WITH THAT FACE. kinda understand now why greeks decided that the human form was the most important subject for artistic endeavour because jesus. that man really is sculpted by the gods

all that being said, i think the one whose pictures don't give him justice is sea. he is just so ridiculously handsome in real life and has the most beautiful smile i've ever seen i kinda. lost it a little about it ;;;;;;;

i think it's one of the reasons i suddenly got even more nervous and ended up messing up so badly ;;;;; i had this entire speech in my head about vice versa but i was so worried about holding up the line and the fact that everyone had even small gifts for them while i was empty handed and they were just. SO MUCH. so i just said 'hiiloveyouthankyou' to both of them and rushed away ;;;;;;;;; and i regret it so much because i think sea was trying to say something but after that he just went 'oh. love you too. bye' IM SO SFJKSHFKSGFJGSJDFJDK STUPID

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

pondphuwin and jimmysea give off such different vibes and energies imho, at least during panels, like idk how to explain it but they truly feel like the cool kids and their silly goose uncles (and im saying this in the most loving way)

so. i guess this is the moment where i get a bit emotional about jimmysea. like i know im very biased but at the same time im also very aware that what we get to see of them is always somewhat performative, and yet. if before there was a part of me that was like 'this is gonna be a reality check and a reminder that i don't do parasocial relationships', that got pretty much crushed after this fanmeet. jimmysea genuinely look like the loveliest darlingest sweetest softest most precious boys who always make sure to thank everyone for getting where they are now. like my heart is so full of love for them i honestly don't know what else to say rn

if i have to find one negative thing (aside my blundering of the autograph session so badly) is the vice versa erasure. like both jimmy and sea had a solo song and that would have been the perfect opportunity for 'have i found' or 'by my side' but of course that didn't happen. one of the questions was 'what was your favorite scene to film' and they just assumed it was about last twilight. this is not me blaming them btw, because even when the fanmade video for them was played it only had last twilight scenes and moments so like. it's obvious they would think everyone just cares about last twilight. which is why i regret the autograph session so much and im sad im not the type of person who can just shout 'what about a vice versa scene!!!!!!' from the audience 🥲

this is also why i ended up buying the italian version of the vice versa novel btw BECAUSE IM NOTHING IF NOT A WEAK ASS PETTY HOE

my biggest warmest thank you goes to @petrichoraline who was just so endlessly patient and supportive and sweet and nice through it all, idk what would i have done without her. i also don't really have the words to properly express myself but like. I LOVE HER SOSOSOSOOSOSOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

a big thank you and sorry also goes to @puppy-phum who is just sooooo lovely. i feel bad because i wasn't there for her as much as i wished to but im grateful we went through the photo and autograph sessions together. I LOVE HER SOOOOOOOOO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

#time to overthink myself to death now!!!!!!!#but also god. if jimmysea ever come back to europe i really am doing this all-over again no matter what #i love them that much #also soooooo many italian bl lovers and im like. WHERE ARE YALL AT HOW DO I BEFRIEND YOU 😭#jimmysea #pondphuwin #m: txt

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shinyzango · 3 months ago

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may i ask you an Italian-language question? there's a name im trying to blend together with Italian, and i could use some guidance if youre willing

i wanted to explore the idea (not married to it, i may end up not even doing anything with it, and im sure im not the first to think of this anyway— but i find it a fun thought-experiment and id love your help if youd be willing to offer it?) of merging Pinocchio and the Nutcracker as both a character and their plots. for funsies✨️

and i just would like some help with how to blend the name idea i had. and to get said help from someone who is, not only fluent in Italian, but is also a fellow Nutcracker nerd (i love your work btw!!) would be so lovely. and also you can tell me tell me if i accidentally am doing a dirty word/bad word/worse or any similar "don't, just stop" thing since im tragically monolingual. i just wanted to see if it's possible for this name to not be clunky or in poor form, would love your help if you're up to it. (if you or anyone reading ever want to use any name/s here, assuming they turn out to perhaps NOT be awful blendings of Pinocchio×Nutcracker?? then, yeah, feel free use as far as i care. i dont own jack shit)

also no worries if you dont want to help for any reason at all, you dont need to explain it to me, i can take a simple "I'd rather not help with this" and be respectful about the rejection. truly, no worries. just wanted your help IF youre willing to offer it

also apologies this is so long. i blame my ADHD mostly (tho i doubt my autism helps, i think its mostly the ADHD) with me going "eVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT" and my lifelong inability at being succinct

now, Pinocchio as a name, according to various sources such as but not limited to Wikipedia (who i will be quoting, bc copy and paste is easier since a lot of this Ask will be me transcribing from books 😭) and my copy of Pinocchio's own Foreward: is "possibly derived from the rare Tuscan form pinocchio ('pine nut') or constructed from pino ('pine tree, pine wood') and occhio ('eye')"

i don't know Tuscan forms of Italian for the rest of this, i only know what my dad's two Italian-English dictionaries told me for the rest of this ("Oh, your dad speaks Italian?" no, he does not. he tried to learn! he gave up. but he still has the books. mostly bc he's a hoarder, our home is VERY cluttered with his many things. but he used to go to Italy a lot, for a specific multi-year project that has long-since ended. we are not culturally/ethnically of Italian heritage, as far as i am aware. but still cool to look through these books!). and you're going to call me either stupid or smart, but at first, let's be clear: i was definitely stupid. i did not follow up my learning about Pinocchio's name-meaning with "What's a nutcracker/The Nutcracker in Italian? Surely the title of the book has been translated into Italian. What is the title in its Tuscan form?". i went straight to my dad's dictionaries to look up "crack" and its branches, said branches including the word "cracker". i wanted to see if i could take "Pino-" and add the Italian form of "Cracker, Cracking, Cracked, or similar" at the end. because, again, i was stupid, and i was taking the long and hard way for an easy answer

since, my dad's dictionaries didn't have "Pino" for ne to verify the alleged Wikipedia meaning with (fair enough, how often does "pine" come into conversation? idk), i had to google this because i wanted to make sure i knew if "Pino" was/wasn't the equivalent of "nuts" in English (as in a "Dude! You kicked me in my nuts!" slang or "Deez nuts" meme type of way) or was a slur or something else that i Do Not Want (with the margin of error that i am still monolingual and inexperienced in Italian and Italy's culture, and most websites for translating ive heard refer only to formal meanings and not so much slang. unless its multi-generational slang, like "cool" on English as a slang term would be likely in a Other Language-To-English website guide, since its a prime example of multi-generational slang. but "Skibidi rizz"? not so much). you never know nuances when youre monolingual, doing your best to navigate a foreign language (even if it's "just" for a name), i just wanted to check

i tried to see if i could see anything specific about the Tuscan variation of Italian's definition of "Pino" was, but all i got was stuff about pine in Tuscany and an artist by the name of Pino Daeni's painting titled "Tuscan Stroll". youd think that'd tell me "well, as least you know Pino can't be bad if it's this guy's name", to which i will remind you, up until recent decades, the name "Gay" was as common as the name "Joy", and English-users stopped using it as a name once the meaning became more synonymous with "queer" than "happy" (i say this as a queer person btw, dont mistake me saying "this name isnt common for obvious reasons" as me being queerphobic please, im just stating the fact thats its declined and we all know why). so Pino Daeni, born in either the 1930s or 1950s (sources differed on the same painting when he was born?), COULD have a name that is akin to "Gay" in the sense that it is NOW out of the possible-names-that-wont-get-your-kid-bullied category. oooorrr it could also be the equivalent timelessness as "Richard" (a name i chose specifically bc one of its nickname is "Dick" in English, and i still dont know if "Pino" or how any other word i discuss here is used in Italian slang. again, shinyzango, if youre willing, please help lol) i far as google and a few sites would tell me about "Pino" in Italian-Spanish sense specifically (and idk if that means it is the same in Italian AND Spanish or if Italian-Spanish is specific fusion/variant of the languages/s, im so sorry), "Pino" could be used in Italian to reference "Pine nuts" (YAY, I THINK WE MAYBE GOT AN IMPLIED "NUTS" FOR THIS NUTCRACKER-FUSION'S NAME EVERYBODY), "Pine wood" (as in the logs, the branches, specifically. though idk if that includes the tree's bark but i assume yes?), "Pine leaves", "the Pine tree itself", and, finally, the all-encompassing elusiveness of "Pine" in general. im really boping the "Pino" = "Pine (Nuts)" is accurate to what im trying to accomplish here, but what can you do, i dont have Tuscan forms of Italian stuff and google isnt coughing it up either

which i did TRY to look up Tuscan-forms of Italian words. and i was told it was a dialect, a still-living one at that (as opposed to the term: archiac dialect). but nothing is telling me its dictionary of how its vocabulary branches off and/or overlaps with the standard Italian language. the closest i could find on my own was Wikipedia's "Dialectal Features" section under its Tuscan Dialect article. and that is too above my pay-grade, it went into phoemes and graphemes and all that, i got Fs in those classes despite my best efforts and it's been at least 3+ years since my last class in that. nope. i am just accepting the Tuscan dialect of Italian is inaccessible to me rn (unless shinyzango (a) knows it for whatever reason and (b) wants to help with that. but this isnt me trying to pressure you. this is me acknowledging that idk your life, maybe you know the Tuscan form. and if you do know it and yet dont wanna help for whatever reason, all good, no bad blood). so, no matter how much research and thought i am trying to put in here, im still very lost and just doing my best. so, shinyzango, please be forgiving if i am making any faux-pas throughout this. i know "Pinocchio" is theorized to be a blend of two Tuscan-specific Italian words, but i just got "Pino-" and whatever i find that can come next for the Nutcracker half of this (hopefully successful? idk. im paranoid im fucking up somehow lol 💀) name-blending of these two wooden boys

anyway. so i continued to be stupid by thoughtlessly NOT choosing the easy and obvious method of looking up "a nutcracker/the Nutcracker" in Italian for this name-blend's second half. and yet?? somehow, my dad's two English-Italian dictionaries were nice to me and i got super lucky i wasnt told an alternative word. i was essentially given the one the Easy Method wouldve brought me. albeit the easy method wouldve brought me to it faster.. anyway, i got lucky. because within "crack"'s long list of Italian-specifities, i came across "(nut:) to crack — schiacciàre", which that shorthand meant "within the term 'to crack', for reference wanting to crack nuts specifically, you would use the word schiacciàre and its branches in Italian". i then went to schiacciàre's page in my dad's other Italian dictionary and saw the different forms of "schiacciàre"

the second dictionary confirmed most of the first dictionary. i was a little bit concerned that maybe schiacciàre was inaccurate? (obviously, this feeling went away when i did eventually do The Obvious and look up what "a nutcracker/The Nutcracker" was in Italian, but i didnt know that at the time when i was looking at this entry). because this dictionary said "Schiacciàre (Transitive) - (1.) To crush, to crack, to mash. Used in cooking. Per schiacciàre lo zenzero si può usare un coltello piatto. To crush the ginger, you can use a knife flat." which you can see in this first definition block, "to crack" being the second meaning and not in the example sentence made me a little bit worried on if this was the best word or not. again, i know now i didnt need to be worried, i now know the Italian word for "nutcracker/Nutcracker". but i was sticking by the path i was on for a bit longer, thought i might as well read the branches

which included its inflection term, the word everyone was waiting for— schiacchia! meaning "(a) cracker"! to which i did, after i was done reading the entire word's list of different forms, think "oh, i should look up a nutcracker, in general/The Nutcracker & The Mouse King's specific title in Italian". to which i got both the relief (bc i didnt choose the wrong word!) and the frustration (bc i maDE THIS SO MUCH HARDER ON MYSELF FOR NO REASON!) of seeing "a nutcracker" in Italian is lo schiaccianoci and "The Nutcracker & The Mouse King" is (Lo) Schiaccianoci e il Re dei topi (which i find the nuance of the grammar of fascinating! to translate it back to English, and with the matching capitalization included, the title would be "(The) Nutcracker and the King of mice". bc "The King of Mice" gives off a slightly different vibe as opposed to "The Mouse King". like, The Mouse King feels like epithet anyone with influence over mice could gain whereas the other (The King of Mice) feels both mundane and more legitimately royal, like this is definitely a political position, like "The Queen of England". at least thats the vibes diffentiating between the two in English. idk if my impression for "the vibes" of the Italian title is accurate in Italian. god, i wish i wasnt monolingual). anyway. so you think that'd be it, huh! i found the Italian form of "(a) cracker"! that's gotta be the other half of this proposed fusion name!

...but no, i do have a second option im kinda into. bc, again, i looked up "a nutcracker/The Nutcracker" AFTER looking through the WHOLE list. and what grabbed my attention reading the branches of the word "schiacciàre" was also the first-person singular present term that is schiàccio, which in English would assumedly be the equivalent means "(I) crack". as first-person singular present terms in English are as follows: "Am I?", "I am", "I go", "I write", "I weep". so, like, it's a present-tense verb + "I". that's all that "first-person singular present"-specific terms mean as far as i am aware. hence, my assumption that "schiàccio"'s English equivalent would be "(I) crack". and the Italian form of "I" isn't present, but i think it's implied??? (im so unsure, im so sorry lol) some stuff i read said the "I" doesn't have to be literally present to be explicit in Italian? so it's not in English, where something like "Wasn't thinking" has the missing-"I" that can be assumed to be present p easily despite its lack of literal presence— BUT in English, the lack of "I" makes that an improper sentence. it can said colloquially. but it isnt correct grammatically. and im saying i was lead to believe that the Italian-equivalent-of-"Wasn't thinking" would be considered a proper sentence and gramatically correct? so itd be more like "(I) Wasn't thinking", in a sense? and furthermore, i was lead to believe the specific conjagation of schiàccio in Italian would not need the "I" unless you were adding an "I" for emphasis? like "No, I cracked the nuts, not him" kind of emphasis? i feel like im making less sense the more i try to explain it. but that was my reasoning to structure "(I)" like that within "(I) crack"?? again, im doing my best amidst my Italian ignorance 😭

and, shinyzango, under the assumption youve decided to help me, if i have totally misunderstood Italian grammar, you can just say "you were lead astray about the (I)-thing you wrote up, that's not accurate" or "it's more complicated than that" and leave it at that. you dont have to give me an Italian grammar lesson. mostly bc i assume you dO NOT want to give me one lol i p much just wanna know if im right, wrong, or got mixed results. asking you to be an Italian grammar teacher is not something you advertise, i just was fascinated with how much presence does the "I"/"(I)" have in schiàccio because of the POTENTIAL(? BC I COULDVE BEEN WRONG ABOUT ALL THE "I"/(I)" STUFF, IM SO SORRY) thematic analysis potentially then within the name, as i discuss in the following paragraph

but i think, not only would the implied gramatical aspect of the Pinocchio-Nutcracker fusion having verb-form of "cracking" apart even in its very name would be neat as well as it being neat— but also the potential of applying personhood to themself in that said very name with the potentially-"invisible yet explicit" "(I)" i aforementioned (with great confusion and lack or sureness, but yeah, as i aforementioned) would possibly be a very important thematic element for a fusion of a puppet-boy who wants to be "a real boy" × a man who had his personhood stripped away from him through transforming into a nutcracker??? and to have it perist anyway? have his personhood remain silently within his name? to have it, invisible yet hold weight in his very identity-moniker itself?? that could be very powerful of such a little word like schiàccio to do, assuming it even can do that "(I)" thing it may/may not be able to do (and, again, all of this assuming i am not missing any nuance in Italian here and i doubt that. i doubt that very much. i definitely a missing something, i just know it)

OH but ALSO, with schiàccio, we get this implication of being overwhelmed of "cracking" under the pressure (idk if my understanding of that potential translation is at all correct in Italian. i apologize if my dad's dictionary is leading me astray in any of these definitions). because there was another entry in my dad's dictionary, "Schiacciàre (Transitive) - (2.) To crush, to overwhelm, to crack, to snap, to flatten. A figuritive form of speech. Lui lo rifiuto schiacciato. The rejection crushed him". so it could(?) refer to a type of ego-death, maybe? thats usually an incidental yet pivotal pillar of a theme in transformation-stories. y'know, the ship of Theseus thought-experiment personification of it all. but when we now apply schiàccio's "(I) crack" outside of the kitchen-definition of literal cracks, and instead into that second definition's figuritive form, we now get this type of mental-breakdown implication? this Italian-specific warning for angst up ahead, literally tied to the guy's name? i think thats neat, assuming im understanding it correctly. foreshadows to the tragedy and hardships lol

plus, we also get the "-o" at the end of "schiàccio", assuming it's workable with "Pino-" without any problems. and that ending "-o", i think, links a bit more of the paralleism to Pinocchio's original name, at least visually? idk. maybe thats just me. that's a nit-pick of a bonus anyway

so this was a very long ask, all to beg the question/s, under the assumption youre willing to help me here (no worries if not, shinyzango, you do not have to help me at all if you dont wish to) is there something in your Italian fluency that sees a "anon, no, you dont want that" nonsense nuance-meaning in either of these Pinocchio-Nutcracker blended names im missing? a hidden dirty joke im fully unaware of?? is there one that flows better than the other? is the format weird? are they both shitty? lol idk what to ask specifically for what could be wrong here, but?? please? and thank you??

Pinoschiaccio

Pinoschiaccia

but yeah, any help you can offer would be much appreciated. dont worry if you dont have any help, if you dont want to give me any, eithet way, we're all good. i just hope i didnt commit any faux-pas in asking you all this. thank you so much for your time

Don't worry, thank you for asking me.

I just have to warn you that while I am native Italian, my grammar is also very bad LOL But I'll still try to give my input at the best of my capabilites.

Also while I'm not going to go through each single point of your ask to save up some time, do tell me if I missed something important to answer, as sadly big wall of texts tend to fry my brain and I end up missing on some parts as I read through (NOT YOUT FAULT! It's just my brain being dumb ksjdgn)

Anyways, onto your ask:

first of all, welcome to the world of learning a different language that do not share the same lingual roots LOL

Sadly I can't help much with the Tuscan language as I'm not from Tuscany and I'm not a linguist, but I can tell you that Pinocchio, while including the common Italian male name "Pino", to me it feels like it's may also be because the doll was sculpted with pine wood, which has the charateristic of having many knots (eyes, so "occhi") in its pattern. Buuuuut apparently in the original book by Collodi, he was named Pinocchio after a rich family of the same name, as a way to grant him good luck. So at this point I don't know LOL

And yeah nutcracker in italian is "schiaccianoci", which literally translates to "crack walnuts" althought it's meant for nuts in general. (fun fact: as a generic name for nuts we use "frutta secca", which translates to "dry fruits", which is not to be confused with "frutta essicata", which is "dried fruits".)

As for the other grammar notions:

yeah we almost never put adjectives before the subjects. In such case as the Mouse King, the correct way is "Re dei Topi", aka "King of the Mice". We could also use "Topo Re", but it's usually as a title/name said to make more of an effect.

For the whole "I" debate, yes in Italian we can easily drop the subject in our sentences because the verbs have all the variants that are specific to the person (I, you, them) and the quantity referred to (singular, plural). I do have to admit that I still tend to drop the subject when I speak in english out of habit because of this pffff.

And one last notion just to add more madness to this mess of a language, accents on vowels can drastically change words' meaning. For example, "schiaccio" and "schiacciò", while still having the same meaning of "crack", it's actually different tenses and subject. "schiaccio" is "I crack" (present). "schiacciò" is "They (singular) cracked" (past).

(btw I'm not writing "schiàccio" because it's not normally written with the à, in case you were wondering. the more common accents are not written unless you specifically need it to differentiate which one you're intending)

So yeah, I don't blame anyone who get incredibly confused when trying to understand Italian dkgnsdkj

Also yeah the verb "schiacciare" can have a bunch of different meanings depending on the context, both literally and figuratively, although I can't really tell any at the top of my head;;

Anyways, putting this whole Italian notion aside, let's get to the real point of the ask:

I can see why you came to the conclusion of going with Pinoschiaccio/a, which is completely fair. But if I were you, I would switch them around as it would sound more natural.

So personally, I would go with Schiacciapino.

And if it can help with anything, I can also add this extra italian notion: while we have a bunch of words that end in "-ino" such as Pino, it is one of the suffixes we use to change the "adjective" of the word. In this case, "-ino" is used to indicate something small (ie. "Gatto - Gattino" = "Cat - Small Cat/Kitten", or "Topo - Topino" = "Mouse - Small Mouse". And also yes another fun fact, "Topolino" is another way to say small mouse, althought in a cuter way. And it's what we call Mickey Mouse here in Italy. Same with Donald Duck, which we call "Paperino", aka "Small Duck". The more you know :V) Anyways yeah, just a small extra information in case it could be of any use for your story.

BIT OF A DISCLAIMER: sadly I can't tell you if this does in fact lead into ambiguity territory as sadly if there is any, I am not aware of it. I would have to ask other fellow Italians to give their own opinion about it.

Anyways I'm ending this rambling of mine. I'm not that better after all SDLGKNB

I hope I was able to clear up your doubts and questions! And again, if I ended up missing some points, do let me know!

#long ask is long #also @ my italian followers: if you can try to give this a read if only the end of my answer #if only to make sure I didn't missed out on anything djkgfn

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