#but anyway im not trying to blame anyone for this btw

[oceanwithouthermoon]

belated add-on but i dont even understand why im STILL getting hate on here when i toned down my "controversial" (aka literally just harmless mildly unpopular opinions about anime characters) posts MONTHS ago after having a legitimate breakdown over the way people were treating me on here ☠️

so very sorry for um... *checks notes* having an opinion about anime characters that you disagreed with a few months ago

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[natsmagi]

a key element and constant theme of tsumugis character is neglect and the various ways it manifests and how he was neglected by his family severely as a child in multiple cases such as parents forgetting to feed him being abandoned by his father and brother and then how this series of neglect continues throughout tsumugis life by feeling abandoned when ex-fine disbanded but because tsumugi is so caught up in making sure those he cares about (sora and natsume) get what they want and deserve in their idol careers he fails to realize he is repeating that cycle of neglect. many times we see natsume worry that tsumugi is going to leave him and switch behind, that he is going to abandon the promise they made together as kids like this is a CONSTANT fear of natsumes and i feel like tsumugi is repeating the exact same mistakes his mother made in this regard. constantly overworking herself despite being a good-for-nothing, getting into scams due to her religious and superstitious nature being taken advantage of, being an emotional wreck that crumbles under pressure yet is immensely loved and admired by tsumugi to the point where he considered following in her footsteps by being a teacher (which, again, made natsume think tsumugi was abandoning their promise to each other) even if he also pities her. and i think that, during his childhood in baby tsumugis little brain, he took his mothers displays of emotions as a negative. those feelings were hurting his mom, making her upset, so his solution was to just not feel at all, all the while he makes the exact same mistakes she made, now just while completely disconnected. everything we know about tsumugis mom apart from her being overly emotional is a direct parallel to tsumugi from making and maintaining connections and being naturally loved by others to her appearing "hopeless" with work and being incredibly misfortunate. tsumugis mom neglected him alot as a child due to being overworked, overly emotional, and going through her own kind of hell, yet tsumugi recognizes that she did her best and still expresses love for her when talking about her, even though hes aware of her many bad habits. And, again, tsumugi inadvertently mirrors the exact same mistakes his mom did in trying to make tsumugi live a happy life (constantly trying new businesses and failing, falling for scams out of desperation) when trying to make sora and natsume happy (aka being too busy with work that would benefit the unit to spend time with them). Making the mistake of thinking if he just works hard enough they can be happy, when what will make them happy is his company. a lesson his mother, who not only got abandoned by her husband but also her own SON, never got to learn. But sure yea tsumugis mom was a physically abusive alcoholic who would deliberately harm tsumugi as a child and thats why hes ok with natsume hitting him and lets not even bother tackling the role the men in tsumugis life mightve played in him being numb to physical harm because clearly its the emotionally unstable woman tsumugi has expressed love for whose solely to blame who gives a shit anymore

[cerealmonster15]

ougugugughghhh i get,,, so embarrassed when i try to be Earnest lol especially w/in the context of like fanart/fic like i LOVE when other people do it i LOVE reading earnest and vulnerable deep fics and seeing intense fanart etc etc etc. but then i do it i feel like i am Going To Be Killed LJFDKSLF SDJFLS

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

...

...

...

thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[pyrodolls]

I love that Bayani is so damn clingy, but I would never confess that to him.

If we were unfaithful to him, would he still be with us?

if you were unfaithful (superfan! yandere oc x popstar! reader)

warnings: slight nsfw, mentions of vomit, cheating, death, stalking, depression, slight worshipper yandere, established relationship, lowercase intended, reader is gender neutral

a/n: hey guys peep the new acc layout and username omgggg! anyways thanks for all the birthday messages and also update on the bsf drama: i don't know for SURE if she's dating him, cuz she posted the picture of my ex but his face wasn't showing and the caption was talking abt her bf... so maybe she just HAPPENED to use that picture of my ex and the caption was talking about a whole different dude??? idk maybe im just delusional LMAOO but yeah i'm still friends with her cuz she's a total sweetheart and i'm sure it was just a coincidence. anyways sorry for taking such a long break, heres some bayani hcs!! btw guys... just between you and me... i too, am down bad for bayani and love how clingy he is. bring back kind and clingy men instead of men texting you "wyll" on snapchat

if you were unfaithful to bayani, he would most likely find out through the internet.

bayani is obsessed with you in every single way. so if he couldn’t be with you physically, he’d stalk you through the paparazzi or fans recording your concerts.

there was one concert that bayani unfortunately couldn’t attend. so he simply watched it through a fan’s livestream online. that’s how he noticed another popstar on stage with you. the crowd went wild and started screaming. the arena shook with the vibrations of your fans. the popstar with you started to sing and dance next to you. bayani was always jealous of anyone that got to be around you when he couldn’t, but this was different. the popstar on the stage with you was rumored to be dating you. fans on the internet had been speculating about your relationship for months, claiming that you two were “soulmates” and “secretly dating.”

it made bayani’s blood boil. but he knew it was bound to happen at some point, since you would often rant to him about how suffocating fame could be. he knew it wasn’t your fault. he wasn’t mad at you at all. he knew you still cared about him.

but the song ended, and the popstar next to you wrapped their arms around your body and connected their lips to yours.

the crowd started screaming once more, and the person recording the performance dropped their phone. bayani couldn’t see what was going on.

plus, the livestream was blurry so he couldn’t tell if you were pleased with the popstar’s advances or not.

either way, bayani dropped his phone and threw up.

the minute you arrived home from the concert, bayani ran up to you and grabbed onto your waist, clutching it desperately.

“was what i saw real? are you with that popstar now? are you saying the rumors i saw online were true? i tried to ignore them because i know how your fans can be, but still…” bayani babbled, crying as he spoke and his words slowly became unintelligible.

whether you were interested in the popstar or not didn’t matter. bayani would be on his knees, pleading for an explanation. he would spiral into a pit of self-deprecation, thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, so you went off with someone more attractive and more talented than him. he wouldn’t blame you at all. he wouldn’t be mad at you at all. he’d be mad at himself for not pleasing you enough.

if you weren’t interested in the popstar and it was simply a publicity stunt, you would have to gently hold bayani in your arms to calm him down and explain. he would be SO relieved. he’d still be upset, though. he would be relieved that you’re still interested in him, but he’d also be jealous someone got to kiss and hold you in front of millions of people. bayani would never tell you that, though. he’d try to suck it up and pretend that he’s cool with it, but you can tell he’s really upset (he’s a terrible liar) and you would have to reassure him that you’ll never do it again.

if you WERE interested in the popstar… uh wtf are you doing here?? jkjk but if you were actually dating the popstar, bayani would be crushed. he would probably beg you to stay with him and forget about the popstar, but he'd ultimately fail to convince you. he’s desperate, but he isn’t stubborn. if you rejected him over and over as he begged, he’d get the hint and leave you alone. he just wants you to be happy. as much as he hated seeing you with someone else, he’d want you to live your life however you want.

if you left him, bayani would fall into a deep depression, thinking he failed you. he would never be happy again. he would hate himself for messing up what could've been his perfect life. he could’ve been with you. he could’ve lived happily ever after as your servant for the rest of his life, but he wasn't good enough for you. even though you were the unfaithful one, he’d still believe you were the one in the right. it would haunt him for the rest of his life until he died.

[hannieehaee]

hello!!!

i would like to request possesive (lowkey toxic) bsf minghao like a short five or a drabble bcs i read your toxic mingyu one and it was sosososo good!!

tysm (i love your fics btw they’re so good)

18+ / mdi

content: toxicbsf!minghao, friends to lovers, he's toxic but its fine bc i have a crush on him so, manipulation, afab reader, smut, mentions of oral (f receiving), reader is a virgin, loss of virginity, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2064

a/n: thank uu!! im obsessed with toxicbsf!svt ive been wanting to write more of it since my mingyu fic tysm for requesting!!

masterlist

sometimes it stressed minghao out how sweet and innocent you were. how easy it was for a guy to catch your attention and for you to fall for anyone showed the barest amount of decency towards you.

well, it's not like minghao could really blame you. throughout the many years of being best friends, you had never really been in a serious relationship. there had been a quick fling here and there, but they never went far. not if minghao had anything to say bout it.

it wasn't that minghao wanted to get in the way of your relationships. he was simply protective. whether you realized it or not, he knew better. he knew the filthy ideas guys could get in their heads, specially when a pretty and sweet girl like you showed interest in them. which was why minghao always ran guys off one way or another before things bad a chance of going too far.

now, minghao wasn't dumb. he never made it known that he had been the one to somehow scare away (or sometimes frustrate away) possible suitors for you. he would simply speed up the inevitable. he knew they'd eventually use you and throw you away like most men tended to do to sweet girls like you.

despite your temporary sadness over the constant failed relationships, minghao knew that this was for the best. he wasn't about to allow some filthy man come in and sweep you off your feet just to defile your innocence when they could never love you in a pure and genuine way – in the same way that minghao did.

the task of keeping men off you got harder through the years. you were simply too beautiful to resist. that's how minghao first fell for you anyway (but, of course, he then fell for every other detail about you). you had men asking you out left and right, even ignoring his presence whenever he just so happened to be there. you were always shy and sheepish about it, accepting the compliments but always looking to minghao while seeking his approval of the guy in question (which he never gave, seeing as there was no man who deserved you).

however, there were occasions in which a guy would slip through the cracks, somehow charming you enough to concede to a date or to some flirtatious text messages without minghao's knowledge. the discovery of these instances would always lead to spats between the two of you, with minghao claiming that you clearly did not love him in the way he did you if you were so easily willing to hide things from him. these nights would usually end in you apologizing to him and telling him he was the only guy you needed.

but that did not happen every single time. currently, an anomaly had occurred, causing minghao to be disgusted by recent developments that had occurred in your relationship.

being as sweet and innocent as you were, it was clear to minghao that even a single second away from him would lead you to fall into the arms of some guy. which was what had happened a few weeks back, when you had enthusiastically agreed to a date with some boy you'd met at a party during the ten minutes in which minghao had left you unsupervised.

surprisingly, you had asked minghao to let you try things out with him. you were aware of minghao's protectiveness towards you (although not the full extent of it), but minghao was still surprised when you shyly asked him to let you see how things would go between you and this guy.

the two of you had been talking every day during those few weeks, even going on a few dates which minghao had to be made privy of as you came home overexcited after each one. he hated watching your temporary happiness with some loser who didnt deserve you. he knew it wouldn't last, but it still made him scowl at the thought.

the whole situation reached a crescendo the day you came back from yet another date with the guy, sheepishly telling minghao that you thought it was time for the next step in the relationship. this was, of course, something minghao was not willing to let you go through with.

since you had asked him to not get involved (not even allowing him to meet the guy thus far), he had left the situation alone with the hopes that it would crash and burn on its own, – after all, no man was good enough for you, nor did they compare to the way in which minghao treated you – but unfortunately for minghao, the past three weeks had gone well for the two of you. and now it was time for minghao to step in.

despite his initial anger at your revelation (anger which he kept hidden from you), he allowed you a safe space to talk to him about your 'relationship' and what you intended to do next, which then revealed a window of opportunity for minghao.

"i ... i'm nervous, hao."

"hmm? what makes you nervous, angel?", he was sitting beside you on your shared couch, with your legs basically intertwined.

"i dont know, i've just never ... you know ..."

he knew. you'd never outwardly spoken about it. but he knew you to be a virgin in every sense of the word.

"i dont know, angel. you're gonna have to be more specific."

"i've never had sex. i've never really done anything .."

as expected from his good and innocent girl. but the satisfaction of hearing you say those words died as soon as he remembered the context of the conversation. you were seeking advice in order to have sex with that guy whose name minghao had never even bothered to learn.

"that's okay. you don't have to if you're not ready," he assured you.

"no, but i am! i just ... i wont know what to do when it's time to ... you know, actually do it."

"oh?"

"what if i disappoint him? or what if he thinks im a freak for never having done anything?", you lamented, "am i? is it weird i've never done it? it's just ... it's never worked out between me and any other guy and– fuck you must be exhausted of hearing me lament myself every time i ultimately fuck things up before even leaving the talking stage," you chuckled at yourself in what seemed to be pity.

and minghao did somewhat pity you. despite being direct cause of many of those failed talking stages (something he would never let you find out), he still felt bad that you were feeling unseemly because of his doing.

"angel, no. stop. it's okay. you can always talk to me, you know that. and no. you're not weird for being a, a virgin, you're ... you're so special. no guy should ever make you feel pressured to do it. who is this guy anyway? is he making you– "

"no! hao. it really isnt that! it's me. i'm ... i just dont wanna embarrass myself. i dont ... i have no idea what i'm supposed to do. i ... i've wanted to, but i'm just scared," you pouted, looking down into your lap rather than at him.

he knew the perfect solution for this. it was the most obvious thing, but he needed to approach it in a way that worked out in his favor. he could not risk scaring you away. you were just vulnerable enough in this moment for minghao to finally rid himself of the nuance that had been in his way for these past weeks and finally have you for himself.

"well, i ... i cant help you? if you want. i could show you whatever you're curious about. and then you wont feel nervous anymore", he suggested, now having moved closer to you.

"isnt that cheating?"

he chuckled at the adorable confusion in your tone, reaching out to caress your cheek with his hand, "no, angel. id just be teaching you. as a friend, yeah?"

"oh ... a– are you sure? i dont wanna make you uncomfortable or anything ..."

"you could never make me uncomfortable, beautiful. so what do you say? hmm? let me help you?"

you silently nodded as you scoot even closer to him, giving him the green light to finally have you in the way he'd always wished.

"how about we start by kissing so you can ease into it, yeah?"

you nodded again, already too lightheaded to respond to him with words. minghao felt immense arousal at your innocent demeanor, adoring how your eyes fell directly to his lips the moment he mentioned kissing.

as gently as he could, he connected your lips, staring off with an innocent kiss before letting escalate further.

it was hard for him to control himself, so he didnt. he only gave you a few seconds of gentleness before beginning to kiss you with the fervor he had always wanted to, drinking in your adorable whines of arousal.

somehow your mewls became even prettier when his lips went south, now savoring the taste of your skin as he licked and nipped at your soft neck. his hands were not left unoccupied as they felt you up in ways that could not be defined as anything less than filthy. but you didnt seem to care. you seemed quite into it, actually, moaning endlessly in the way a girl deprived of pleasure would.

in this moment, minghao knew his wait had been worth it, as he now had you in his arms for his taking. and there was no way he would ever let you go after this.

~

it was only a short while later that minghao would finally reach his ruin.

minghao finally had you bare and willing under him as he hovered over you on his bed. after having eaten you out to completion, he was almost completely spent from just the view of your gorgeous body receiving such pleasure for the first time. and now he could finally have you in a way that only he ever would.

"angel ... are you ready?" he breathed as his lips pulled away from your own.

your gaze was completely empty, clearly gone to the pleasure that minghao had such given you and the pleasure you knew was yet to come.

"please ... need to feel you so bad ..."

"oh? but i thought this was about learning, angel? what happened?", he emphasized his words by grinding against your bare core, whispering his teasing words into your ear.

"n– no ... it's not ... just want you ... please."

that was enough for him to finally plunge in, groaning at the slight resistance you showed despite having prepared you beforehand.

your body arched against his as you cried out his name for the nth time that night.

"oh, angel ... feel so fucking good. is it good for you, beautiful? am i teaching you well?"

"y– yes, fuck ... h– hao! feel so fucking good ..."

he ground into you mercilessly, in a way that would make anyone think that this was not your first time together. except it was the first of many.

"does it always feel this good? will it always make me want it like this?"

"no, beautiful. it will never feel this good. you know why?", his hand went to play with the tiny pearl between your legs, making you cry in response, "because you're mine", he speed up in his thrusts, matching the pace of his hand, "and only i can give you this pleasure."

"hao! fuck ... gonna– "

"i know, angel. me too. gonna cum with my pretty angel, yeah? be good for me and cum with me, beautiful."

"love y– you!," your wet cries and stutters already had him gone, but your declaration was what truly did him in, causing him to bury himself as deep as possible as he released him inside you, groaning at the way you pulsed against him as your own orgasm took over you.

upon regaining your breaths and laying together, minghao turned to you, cradling you into his chest as he felt you breathe against him.

"you're mine now, aren't you angel?"

"always," you softly peck his chest, cuddling right back into him.

there was no longer need for minghao to worry about your nameless fling, nor any that would've come after. he had finally kept you all to himself.

[the-kipsabian]

..also im looking at my old commission listings, have i always been underselling myself this badly?

i kinda miss making stickers ngl

[lexithwrites]

sorry for the long read but this is important (aka lets talk about plagiarism)

hello! so, if anyone remembers the other day i posted a lil snippet for a smutshot involving remus/sirius/james. originally, someone got very upset about the lack of tags and accused me of writing SA—it was not SA, it was teasing someone and edging them, but i digress. people misread things all the time and thats whatever—and they privately messaged me accusing the same thing and saying i needed to tag better as i had triggered them. i deleted the post not wanting to upset anyone else, apologised for upsetting them then whilst trying to explain my work and explain how it wasnt SA, they blocked me. that's fair and i moved on learning my lesson as i clearly did something wrong.

what isn't fair, is rewriting said work for yourself and posting it on YOUR ao3 account.

i was sent the story and commented:

you deleted this post almost immediately and proceeded to say it isn't plagiarism. this is the definition of plagiarism btw:

that's what you did. it's the exact same scenario, it's a threesome, and the dialogue is VERY similar. the premise for the scene is the same. I've got some screenshots of both works below to highlight this:

MINE:

THEIRS:

now this isn't word for word, obviously, and theirs is a longer one shot with other plot points involved, but these scenes are similar. the dialogue in particular is similar. its a slap in the face honestly; to be given shit by someone and then see that they decided to use it for themselves.

there is always consent in my work, i've never had anyone say before that this is an issue as my finished works have discussions of safe words and safe sex and boundaries. pretty much everything i've ever written that involves sex has a conversation regarding safe words. i clearly tagged it wrong and i will admit that. i will take the blame for that and tag accordingly from now on.

but you used my work for your own. and also (since you added this to the ao3 post i'll include it) you admitted to using my work:

'inspired by some drama'

YOU REWROTE WHAT I MADE. YOU USED SIMILAR DIALOGUE. THE SAME SETTING. YOU JUST MADE IT YOUR OWN AND ARE ACTING LIKE THAT ISN'T PLAGIARISM??

like—

just because you didn't think i would 'appreciate' being mentioned does not mean you do it?? you literally admitted to 'tweaking' it and writing it yourself. this is such stupid fucking drama and so unnecessary what did you want to gain from this??

do not use other peoples fucking work. SIMPLE.

also i shouldnt have to say this but dont give this person shit. dont send hate in my name, its not worth it and not the point of this post whatsoever .im not naming them, they know who they are even if they've blocked me. i dont care if you see this, honestly i hope you see it. just please take plagiarism seriously because its annoying af and weird

ANYWAY have a lovely day <3

[stormyoceans]

random thoughts and recollections about the jimmysea and pondphuwin fanmeet in rome!!!!!!!!

WARNING. this is just a ridiculous amount of obnoxious ramblings by yours truly with basically no pictures whatsoever because 1) im terrible at taking them, 2) my phone is old and has terrible quality, 3) even when @petrichoraline so kindly offered me her spare phone to take some decent photos and videos i almost yeeted it across the room in the midst of things, so. yeah, just be aware these are a lot of boring words ;;;;;;;;

ANYWAY. let's get into it!!!!!!!

JIMMYSEA PHOTO SESSION

putting the jimmysea photo session LITERALLY FIRST THING FIRST sure was a choice and not a good one for my heart which clearly shows in my picture with them because i look like a deer caught in headlights (im not subjecting y'all to my face but trust me on this i was SHAKING)

with the way the queue and the room were set up i feel like it was so much easier to look at and make eye contact with sea rather than jimmy, so at the end i whipped around to thank jimmy too and i think i automatically tried to wai to both of them, which i hope wasn't inappropriate ;;;;;;;;;; in my defense everything that was going on in my head in that moment was FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY'RE ACTUALLY REAL AND SO HANDSOME FUCK

also i had no pose in mind and i ended up panicking ;;;;;;;;

(more ramblings under the cut)

PONDPHUWIN Q&A PANEL

i bought the cheapest pass for them at the last second so i was sitting very far in the back during their panel and yet i could still see pond's jawline from all the way over there like i swear that shit is so sharp it could cut glass

i keep forgetting just how young phuwin actually is because he both looks and sounds so mature and confident and suave it's honestly insane

although one of the games was like. one of them had to be blindfolded and try to guess which pose the other was making just by touching them, and at the very beginning when pond put the blindfold on phuwin kept running away from him which was both so funny and cute

also the host kept putting up numbers with his hand and asking 'how many are these' to a blindfolded pond and one of those times pond answered by going 🤟 and i was like POND GOD DAMMIT

btw phuwin invited everyone to the GMM building so jot that down. if anyone gets there and securities asks you something y'all can blame him now (jk)

phuwin's favorite scene in we are is the art room scene with a sleeping phum in episode 11, while pond's is the pool scene always in episode 11. THE TASTE THE VISION THE FLAVOR TRULY MEN AFTER MY OWN HEART

JIMMYSEA Q&A PANEL

i was sitting in the second row for the jimmysea panel so i could catch so many small moments i absolutely loved such as:

they had to press a buzzer for questions and they always did that together, with jimmy's hand being on top of sea's like 5 times out of 6

jimmy poured some water for both himself and sea and he made sure that sea drank some

there was a game with balloons where the two sides of the audience were supposed to get the balloons to the back and then bring them back to the boys, and we failed spectacularly on jimmy's side (HE FELT SO BETRAYED IM SO SORRY BBY), so when the balloon got to sea very quickly he pushed it back towards the audience to buy jimmy's some time

both p'tha and p'aof were actually sitting next to the audience on my side of the room watching jimmysea panel and in my head i was like EXCUSE ME SIRS CAN WE TALK [slides monopoly money towards p'tha for a new jimmysea series] [has WORDS with p'aof]

so the way questions worked was like. they had to press a buzzer and after that a spinning wheel with different colors would come up on screen and on whichever color it stopped on they had to pick a piece of paper of that same color with a random question written on it. during one of the spins, the wheel landed on yellow and jimmy picked one of the papers, but i think because of the lighting it actually looked green from the audience's pov, so everyone was screaming 'that's green'. however jimmy insisted that it was yellow, and that what we were saying was yellow was actually orange (the host was agreeing with jimmy but sea was agreeing with us so im still a bit confused on the matter sfjksgfj). then the host said 'we're still gonna do this one' (as in the yellow/green one that jimmy had already picked) but jimmy went 'two questions' and picked one of the yellow/orange ones too, so the host just turned towards the organizers like well since he's the one who said so. JIMMY JITARAPHOL TRULY A MAN OF THE PEOPLE (but also please stop giving nomnoms reasons to have beef with the color orange sfjkshfksg)

actual thing that happened:

host: describe each other in 3 words

jimmy: very cute creature. he's my cat

sea: my good boy

me: WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WITNESSING RN

jimmy said he would like to play a detective in a future series and i almost vibrated out of my seat like YES PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES THAT'S A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP P'THA ARE YOU HEARING THAT PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I COULD GIVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sea said he wants to play a dentist but he actually meant dermatologist, he just messed up the word, and jimmy said that if we want him to be a dentist as well we should give him six more years sfjksjksf

at one point sea said 'mamma mia' and i burst out laughing so hard that's when i almost flung @petrichoraline's phone across the room (and that's when i also decided it was just better for everyone involved if i didn't try to take pictures or record stuff ;;;;;;;;;)

they also had to act out some words and when the host said 'sleep' sea was like 'i thought he (jimmy) would point at me' SON WHY ARE YOU CALLING YOUR OWN ASS OUT ✋😭 (and of course jimmy took the chance to point out that sea did in fact sleep right before the panel)

when the host said the word 'love' sea pointed at jimmy and jimmy pointed at the audience and then they were both quick at mimicking each other (so jimmy also pointed at sea, and sea also pointed at the audience)

SEA IS SUCH A GOOD SINGER AND JIMMY GOT SO MUCH BETTER TOO I WILL GENUINELY ACCEPT NO SLANDER TOWARDS THEM WHEN IT COMES TO SINGING AFTER THIS FANMEET

it was established that the most important words in italian are 1) mamma (mom), 2) pasta, 3) pizza, 4) ti amo (i love you). hard to disagree with that tbh

i think after this fanmeet i've really got to give it to jimmy and admit he actually might be an extrovert because he was just soooooooo ridiculously charming and witty and quick on his feet when it came to find funny answers and deal with some sound issue during his song like i really do think he shines when he's around people

i think you can tell sea is definitely more reserved compared to jimmy but what he doesn't have in expansiveness he makes it up with being so incredibly endearing like he really is just SO. DAMN. CUTE. (even if he tried to give me a heart attack by having his arms out for the fanmeet PUT THOSE GUNS AWAY SIR)

AUTOGRAPH SESSION

had a chance to get a closer look to pond and phuwin when they all walked inside the room and im trying to say this in a way that doesn't make me sound like an insane creep but like. the sheer amount of FACE pond has. i've seen him with my own two eyes and i still can't believe that's a real human being just going around his life. WITH THAT FACE. kinda understand now why greeks decided that the human form was the most important subject for artistic endeavour because jesus. that man really is sculpted by the gods

all that being said, i think the one whose pictures don't give him justice is sea. he is just so ridiculously handsome in real life and has the most beautiful smile i've ever seen i kinda. lost it a little about it ;;;;;;;

i think it's one of the reasons i suddenly got even more nervous and ended up messing up so badly ;;;;; i had this entire speech in my head about vice versa but i was so worried about holding up the line and the fact that everyone had even small gifts for them while i was empty handed and they were just. SO MUCH. so i just said 'hiiloveyouthankyou' to both of them and rushed away ;;;;;;;;; and i regret it so much because i think sea was trying to say something but after that he just went 'oh. love you too. bye' IM SO SFJKSHFKSGFJGSJDFJDK STUPID

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

pondphuwin and jimmysea give off such different vibes and energies imho, at least during panels, like idk how to explain it but they truly feel like the cool kids and their silly goose uncles (and im saying this in the most loving way)

so. i guess this is the moment where i get a bit emotional about jimmysea. like i know im very biased but at the same time im also very aware that what we get to see of them is always somewhat performative, and yet. if before there was a part of me that was like 'this is gonna be a reality check and a reminder that i don't do parasocial relationships', that got pretty much crushed after this fanmeet. jimmysea genuinely look like the loveliest darlingest sweetest softest most precious boys who always make sure to thank everyone for getting where they are now. like my heart is so full of love for them i honestly don't know what else to say rn

if i have to find one negative thing (aside my blundering of the autograph session so badly) is the vice versa erasure. like both jimmy and sea had a solo song and that would have been the perfect opportunity for 'have i found' or 'by my side' but of course that didn't happen. one of the questions was 'what was your favorite scene to film' and they just assumed it was about last twilight. this is not me blaming them btw, because even when the fanmade video for them was played it only had last twilight scenes and moments so like. it's obvious they would think everyone just cares about last twilight. which is why i regret the autograph session so much and im sad im not the type of person who can just shout 'what about a vice versa scene!!!!!!' from the audience 🥲

this is also why i ended up buying the italian version of the vice versa novel btw BECAUSE IM NOTHING IF NOT A WEAK ASS PETTY HOE

my biggest warmest thank you goes to @petrichoraline who was just so endlessly patient and supportive and sweet and nice through it all, idk what would i have done without her. i also don't really have the words to properly express myself but like. I LOVE HER SOSOSOSOOSOSOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

a big thank you and sorry also goes to @puppy-phum who is just sooooo lovely. i feel bad because i wasn't there for her as much as i wished to but im grateful we went through the photo and autograph sessions together. I LOVE HER SOOOOOOOOO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[dist0rt1on]

SAMPO KOSKI: FOOL'S DISCOVERY

Synopsis: How you helped a fool realize his own feelings.

> Pairings: Sampo Koski x Gn!Reader

> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst and Hurt-Comfort???

> Contents: Sampo being a part of The Masked Fools, backstory of your relationship with him, confessions, mostly ooc i guess? No proofread btw im sleepy

> Words: 3.8k

> A/N: Sorry if it's not rlly accurate to Sampo i just have a lot of 'what ifs' with him and this got birthed ig

Sampo Koski is everyone's friend. A charismatic, humorous, cunning man. He's certainly a hot topic in all areas. Though, everyone around him views him as a skilled-yet-idiotic criminal. Or... maybe that's what Sampo himself wants them to think. After all, he tells himself every day that people like him are better suited to be shadowy comic reliefs anyway. Even so, no one knows how the gears behind his brain work.

Sampo Koski is a silver-tongued 'salesman' and an eloquent mercenary. He holds so much information that makes it so hard for people to not approach him for help. With the right price, he's willing to do all sorts of jobs for his lovely customers. Though, he isn't afraid of betraying his customer if he were to get paid on a higher price for it. You can't blame him, can you? Living in the underworld itself isn't easy. You gotta be willing to accept the opportunity for some extra cash if you want to survive.

Sampo Koski is a common enemy. Despite how much conflict Belobog's regions has over the years, most of the citizens in both overworld and underworld would agree that they share a similar distaste for the bi-haired man himself.

Lastly, Sampo Koski is a fool. A following fool who also thinks that the world is a joke. Just like a drama, or a soap opera that runs every day to be witnessed by the people in the audience's seats. No matter how endless the pain and suffering became, it could always be shoved away by laughter. Joy eliminates pain, after all. Laughter is a God-given right to avoid pain. Or so he heard.

Days would usually pass by just like night and day. Except you can't really see the 'day' on the underworld. Business after business through the years, he never thought of having to love someone. Not to mention someone even loving him in the first place. Though, that mindset shattered when he met you. Or specifically, after he spent so much time with you.

You two met in one of the underworld's desolate alleyways. You, who were mistaken as Sampo's anonymous customer, were trying to find some peace. Gazing upon the ceiling with wonder. 'How many more years are we supposed to endure all the suffering in the underworld before the fragmentum consumes us all?' You sigh sadly.

That thought was quickly replaced with a sense of caution after hearing faint footsteps coming your way. You turn your head in that direction, noticing a certain bi-haired man of your age with a sweet smile on his face and a waving hand.

"Hello, dearest customer! You must be the anonymous fella who asked for my services, I assume?" He approached you with his signature, charming smile. Which made you look up to him in response .

"Huh? You must've gotten the wrong person, buddy. Never called anyone for some services. Sorry..." You responded, albeit a bit confused about the salesman's arrival.

Just by your tone and expression alone, he could confirm that you were telling him the truth. Yet, he's not done with you yet. It's simple, he wants to lure you into becoming his customer too. He wants to make a profit in every corner. It's in his natural 'salesman' instincts, after all. But... there's just something about you that scratches his mind. Oh well, he can deal with it later.

"Sorry about that! The name's Sampo Koski. If you ever need someone to take care of things for you... Sampo Koski is the man for the job, who's at your service." He winks at you 'innocently'.

Though, you weren't oblivious to these types of people.

"Ah... so you're that type of businessman, arent you?" You raise an eyebrow, to which the man responded with a chuckle.

"As I said, All sorts of business are welcomed — as long as you've got the cash." He gives you a sly grin.

He saw you opening your mouth to respond to him in a brief second. Yet, before you could mutter something out, familiar marching noises filled the area from both sides of the alleyway.

...Damn Vagrants. They were surrounding the area with their weapons raised at you two. In the middle of the ambush, a masked man turned out to be the leader of said Vagrants.

By their similar physique and posture, Sampo could easily confirm that the leader is the same man who anonymously asked for his services in the first place.

Sampo himself knew that there was a possibility of this happening, but eh. He's a man who'll take any opportunity at any given moment. But he needs some entertainment too. He'd be lying if he told himself that he wasn't amused by this capture or murder attempt.

The masked man began to blabber as unprofessionally as one could blabber. Openly explaining their plans to the two while thinking that they'll be able to kill you two easily while also thinking that you play a part in the 'businesses' yourself.

By the leader's naivety, Sampo would listen intently and imagine a better scenario of said plan. But he chose to ignore the leader and decided to look in your direction.

Ah, you were trembling from head to toe. Fear and confusion wash your face as you try to get into a defensive state.

Living in the underworld for years, of course, you've learned basic self-defense to protect yourself from danger. But against more than one vagrant who has their weapons up and ready to knock the daylights over you at any moment? You cant- you won't stand a chance against them. Not without a weapon. Not without wielding an element.

'What the... hell's happening...?' You thought, panicking over the situation you accidentally got yourself into.

Sampo Koski is a man who'd rather flee before things get rougher than it already is. Unless he had no other choice. When people who targeted him managed to find or corner him, he'd usually try to charm them with his presence. Then using their confusion as the opening of his escape to flee the scene and leave the problems to the nearest bystanders. If there were any.

But this time, it was different. He didn't instantly come up with a plan to flee. Instead, he was focused on you. But why?

Because of your innocent look that was quickly washed away by your fear? No, that's not it... He thinks.

Because of your pitiful state? It could be? But... was that really the problem? Because...

He doesn't understand.

He can't wrap his head around this unfamiliar feeling.

Fleeing was always the best option for him. But for some reason, everything inside himself was telling him to not leave the poor bystander alone.

Why? He never had second thoughts before fleeing the scene before.

...

Maybe... Sampo Koski himself... had taken an interest in you. Yes, that must be it.

And helping you would certainly lead you to his debt. And Sampo wouldn't mind that. He'd be delighted.

"Hey- Were you even listening to me...!?" The leader shouted in an offended tone due to Sampo ignoring all his speech. But Sampo didn't seem to care this time around.

Instead, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder in a swift motion. Pulling you close as he whispers to your ear.

"Close your eyes and hold your breath. Trust me, okay?" He whispers in a soft tone.

Maybe because you were desperate to survive in this current situation that you did what he told you to do. Your body slowly tenses up as you close your eyes and hold your breath. He slowly removed his hold on you and pulls away as he pulls out some tricks up his sleeve.

Even if your vision was currently replaced by a dark void, it didn't stop you from hearing the chaos around you.

You could feel movements from Sampo's side as you could hear him throwing a few items into the ground.

"What the...? Is this... a bomb...!?"

"N-no... Its... they're smoke bombs...!"

"Gah-...! Everyone, stand... down...!"

You hear your attackers panic as they one by one lose their consciousness and fall to the ground.

Sampo approached the powerless leader who had lost his balance and gave him a shit-eating grin as he looked down at him.

"Wow, you really surprised the Sampo Koski with that ambush. As for the return, I decided to give you a surprise of my own~ How'dya like it?" He chuckles.

The leader gritted his teeth. "Y-You bastard... You'll pay... for this..." he threatens Sampo before losing consciousness completely.

Sampo then hurriedly rushed to your side and grabbed your trembling arm. "Let's go now, friend. You better keep up if you don't want to be left behind~"

Before you could even respond, he runs off from the alleyway with you.

Finally residing in a safe spot, Sampo carefully lets go of your arm. "Are you hurt, friend?" He asked as he sees you calm down.

"Sampo, was it? I... can't thank you enough for helping me escape from that. Even though I was just a passerby who got into your situation." You sigh.

"But... Is there anything I can repay you with...? I don't have a lot of cash on me, but when I do... I'll definitely pay you back though... I-I'm sorry..." You looked away. Hoping that the man in front of you won't be disappointed and decides to kill you after knowing you can't pay him back right at this moment.

Sampo chuckles as he looks at you in amusement. "Don't worry, you could still pay me back, ya'know?"

You set your eyes on him again, raising an eyebrow. "What...? But I told you I don't have much cash on me... Unless... gh...! You're not gonna do something to me, are you...!?" You point at the man in accusation. Sweating over the fact that he might do unimaginable things to you.

He quickly places a finger in front of your lips. "Ah, shushushushush... Don't paint me as a greedy and disrespectful businessman, friend. I, Sampo Koski, am still a gentleman with a heart. I was wondering if you could take up an offer instead." He pulled his gloved finger away from your lips.

"That is...?" You await his words as you see him extend his hand.

"Why don't we become business partners, hmm? You look like an interesting fella. I can't help but think that there's more to you than what meets the eye." He started to say.

"I'll deal with most of the things out there while you deal with other crucial things while hidden in the background. Ah, don't worry. We'll split the payment to our agreement. So how about it? Do you accept this offer?"

Any sane person in the underworld wouldn't trust his offer unless they were desperate. But usually, they'd harshly reject his offers. That's why... he was really surprised when you instantly placed your hands in his with no hesitation at all.

"Alright. You look like a fun guy to be with, and I bet you got a lot of surprises huh? I guess it won't hurt to become business partners with you." You smirk as if you weren't terrified a few minutes ago.

"You bet. I won't let you down, so you better do your best, partner." He smiles as you two shake hands in agreement.

That was the day you and the infamous Sampo Koski meet. Ever since that day, you did different kinds of jobs with him.

At first, the two of you were nothing but business partners. He informs you of a mission, and you help him from the shadows, split the pay, and part ways.

But the more you two started working together, the closer you two became. And now, even after the business itself was settled, you'll kill your boring ol' time to spend your day with him.

Like watching a fierce boxing match in the fight club while cheering for your favorite fighters.

"Huh... both of them are so tough! I'm still wondering how robots are qualified for a boxing match, but whatever. Beat him up, Mechanical Master!" You cheer for your favorite fighter.

You could hear Sampo laughing next to you. "In your dreams, partner. Greyback Whale's the much stronger one between them!"

"Buuut we gotta be real now, don't we? I'm a much better fighter than anyone from the fight club~ You've witnessed it yourself, yeah?" He winks with a sense of pride as you snorted in response.

"Yeah, yeah... I guess I gotta admit you're way faster and stronger than them, huh? How fierce and mighty of you, Mr. Sampo~ I might need an autograph from you one day." You playfully stick your tongue out as you tease him. Sampo responds with a playful smirk.

Or you'd spend the day with him by taking a stroll in the mines. Well... a little bit annoying when the two of you have a 50% chance of getting attacked by vagrants, fragmentum creatures, or even robots. But it's nice to back him up on a fight once in a while.

"Hey, partner! Wanna see how fast I could knock them out with these babies alone?" He cockily twirls his daggers as he focuses his eyes on the surrounding enemies.

"Hmm... sure. Knock them out in under 10 seconds, and ill fight alongside you if we have any business for the day." You challenged the man.

In a blink of an eye, you see his daggers getting thrown at the enemies. It was almost a blur. You looked in awe as you witness daggers flying as swiftly as the wind, knocking out enemies with their single touch.

The group of enemies didn't even last 5 seconds as those daggers finally return to the hands of their master. "3.5 seconds. Now, you were saying?"

"Hah, you never fail to surprise me... do you?"

You and Sampo became inseparable. You two were like puzzle pieces who complete each other.

Sampo is the strength and the brain. The active mercenary in his business who deals with all the fights and the talk.

Meanwhile you, you were the heart. The vigilant partner who usually tends to Sampo's wounds if he was unlucky enough to get them.

For a doctor, Natasha's treatments are of a much better quality. But Sampo couldn't help it. No matter how light or brutal the wounds were, he always ends up wanting to get treated in your care.

"Gah... good thing I patched you up just in time... You were on the blink of collapsing, you know...? Don't be so reckless with yourself!" You scold the man as you try to patch the smaller cuts on his arm.

"Should I just call Dr. Natasha to treat you...? I don't think I'm doing a good job on this..."

"No, no. You don't need to. You're doing a great job, okay? And sorry... I was a bit unlucky this time. But I promise I'll be more careful next time, haha." He reassured you with a weak smile.

It was a nice feeling though, Sampo thought. Even if you were scolding him plenty of times, he always notices your careful hands as you patched him up. Him knowing that you hoped your touch won't hurt Sampo more than he already is.

Even if Sampo has a quite friendly demeanor on him, he never lets his guard down. Even to the people he trusts. But there's one thing he noticed...

He started to let his guard down over the time when you two were alone. Relaxing his body to the fullest.

It felt weird at first, Sampo admits. But he quickly came to an acceptable conclusion.

Sampo Koski had developed a soft spot for you.

Now finally, the present. As of today, the blockade between the underworld and the overworld had been lifted by the help of the trailblazers from beneath the sky. It was a miracle, really. You almost couldn't believe it.

Due to Sampo's part in helping them as well, he gets a temporary pass to walk on the overworld's ground freely without any guards arresting him.

He would've used this opportunity to sneakily gain some extra cash, but he decided to go against that idea.

Not when you looked at him with those sparkling eyes. Telling him that you wanted to explore the place and the sceneries with him. And so he did.

But he never expected this one particular day.

The day you asked him to meet up with you somewhere in the overworld's administrative district.

You, holding out a cheap, single-flower bouquet for him only. Muttering multiple things he can't seem to catch. But from where this is going, he knew. By his body language that told you that he was caught off-guard, he knew what's gonna happen next.

You, looking deep into his eyes, as you successfully have the courage to tell him how you feel towards him

"I love you, Sampo Koski. I really do."

There you stood, red-faced as you closed your eyes shut. Getting ready to return some comebacks of your own when he gives you a flurry of his teases.

...

What you expected didn't come.

You slowly opened your eyes to a sight you never thought you would see one day.

The Sampo Koski you know... was also standing there red-faced. But... his eyes widened, and tears slowly fall to his cheeks.

Sampo Koski is a man who knows what love is, but had yet to experience it. Well, maybe he did. But after years of getting disliked or even despised by many people in the country he resides in, even if he were to blame for that, he began to gradually forget what 'love' or 'warmth' means to him.

But today, you had easily told him the specific word and answer to his own conflicted feelings about you.

'I love you, Sampo Koski.'

'Love.'

...

"H-Hey... not that I doubt it or anything, but... Do I... even deserve this kinda thing...?" He tries to maintain his playful tone, but his cracked voice quickly ruined it in an instant.

Sampo Koski is a man who usually denies his negative feelings. Every time he gets sad, hurt, angry, or many other things, he always brushes it away and laughs it off as if it was a laughing matter, to begin with. Unconsciously straying him from his understanding of his own emotions.

No, his usual playful, cunning, charismatic attitude isn't a facade or some sort. It's just Sampo being Sampo. It's just that his mindset of joy diluting all sorrow was making him unconsciously bottle up all that pain.

He always knew that the universe is merciless, but he prefers choosing the path of laughing it off. It was the guidance he got, after all. But was it because of amusement or denial? Who knows...

He is a masked fool, after all.

But your sudden confession had shattered that bottle of his. Many of his mixed emotions were scattered in his mind. Starting to swirl around his surroundings. He was getting overwhelmed.

'Why? Im an awful man. I don't deserve your love. Your kindness.'

'You deserve better.'

'So why me?'

'Why me?'

...

"Of course, you deserve this. You deserve everything, honestly. Thanks to you, I've never been so happy in my entire life. And... I know we spend our days together, but I want to share a much closer bond with you. Because... I've never loved someone this much before. You deserve my love, Sampo. And you'll always do." Your lips curved up into a sweet smile as Sampo looks at you in shock.

Sampo Koski is jealous of you. Envious that you had managed to tell or identify your feelings he's been struggling with so easily.

But you looked so beautiful at that moment. Your genuine, kind smile and your flowing hair matching the rhythm of the wind. The sun's warm light favors you and your beautiful presence alone.

You then lowered the arm that was holding the bouquet. "But, it's okay. I get it if you're not ready yet. Whatever the outcome, ill accept it. Just don't let it ruin our friendship, okay? I'll be waiting for your answer. Once you're ready, okay?" You turn around, getting ready to leave so you could give him some space.

...

"Don't you fucking dare..."

"Huh?" Before you could turn around to see him again, you felt arms wrapping around your waist from behind you. Holding you tight as if you were about to disappear from his very life.

"Don't you dare leave me here... especially after saying that..." he begs in a soft tone.

...

Sampo rests his head on your shoulder. "...I love you too. Even if things were hell down there, hoping to see you every time I woke up in the morning... gave me a reason to keep going. No matter how hard things became, you never left my side... And... I'm so grateful for all that... You're so... precious... to me..."

Sampo finally gets it. The differences in his feelings before you came into his life, and after.

Once, the man wandered the world on his own. With both worlds having a distaste in him while laughing in a sense he used to call 'joy'. Never letting his guard down on every corner, even on his own 'home'.

But when you came into his pitiful life, he started laughing with you. Not in a sense of that so-called joy he once believed could wash away all pain and suffering, but in a sense of comfort and warmth. You had sneaked your way into his heart and made it your home. His home.

He twirled your body around to face him. Tears were still in his eyes as he sniffles on his snot. But still, a big smile was present on his face.

"Hah... Thank you, my dear... Thank you for everything... Mhm... So, are we officially together now...?" He looks at you with that usual goofy grin.

"Of course! Ah... I love you so much...!" You were also trembling with joy as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Looking up to him with the same sense of affection.

"Too bad." He smirks as he leans closer to your ear. "You might say that you love me. But I love you more, my love." He whispers.

Sampo Koski is a man who wants to be loved, and to love back. And with the opportunity you gave him, he'll never waste his chance. He hasn't told it directly to your face, but he vows to protect your life, your heart, everything.

"*sniff* You know... I would kiss you right now, but... I'd rather have our first kiss at a more... romantic moment." He gently presses his lips to your forehead as you giggle in response.

"Saving that for our first date, huh... Pretty boy?" Your cheeks started to warm up more.

"Maybe, maybe not... Who knows?" He coos as he carefully strokes your hair. Kissing your cheek as you hum softly.

Maybe... he could send his final regards to the guys and girls at the tavern to run away with you, one day. He hopes.

_________________________________________

[livvyliveslife]

what’s on my mind?

why can’t i sleep? my body is aching and my mind is exhausted. but why when i try to sleep i just fill myself with thoughts about how i wish i could wake up and be literally anyone else, have different experiences, be able to regulate myself better, not have to battle with the feeling of knowing i cant bully myself into becoming better but only ever being bullied into becoming someone im not. i lost my formative years to not understanding why i can’t be myself and why i feel like i have to pretend to be other people just to inevitably fail and burn out. its disabling. i fear that tomorrow i will just wake up to feel the same. i blame it on my period but when its 2/4 weeks of the month i fear that i think its just me. anyway i have work tomorrow so the mask cant slip just yet. let’s hope for a better morning. x

i’m sorry for being so down btw i just don’t really have anyone other than my boyfriend to talk to. i’m so grateful for him but i can’t burden him anymore than i have so ur turn i guess. i know there’s a lot of you who read this. i’m not sure how many of you feel like this but i know i mustn’t be alone. i know there are people going through worse, which only works to invalidate me. anyway i’m rambling goodnight x

[ninjagrace]

what’s ur favorite scenario to dream about with mtsk and death (kou dying, specifically)

YOU. YOU GET ME.

i’m gonna start this off with saying that kou minamoto is literally my favorite character ever so don’t think i’m doing this because i hate him i just think about him way too much and this is where i end up after thinking for too long

i have SO MUCH to say about this but i’m gonna throw it under the cut bc i don’t wanna catch ppl off guard with my insane bullshit

if ur reading this and u get upset it’s ur own fault /hj

alright SO

first off kou definitely should’ve died during the pp arc just for shits and giggles. it would’ve been like a “what the fuck just happened” for every character and the whole fandom and the chaos that would’ve ensued from the death of a major character would’ve been absolutely WILD- like bitch just killed himself. he straight up committed suicide. there’s no way of rephrasing that bc that’s what he did. it would’ve been a plot-shattering moment and really just heartbreaking and awful and aidairo could’ve done so much with it.

for one, mitsuba would’ve been very Not Ok because he would’ve blamed himself for kou dying and he’d definitely try to gaslight himself into believing kou was still alive- that would not work btw he’d just be in insane denial

anyway imma move on from that arc even though i could go into it so much deeper and focus on things that i could see happening just to make the story hella interesting (i’ve been very tempted to write a fic about this so beware)

i think the most likely ways kou would die would either be suicide or being killed by tsukasa. we’ve already seen him attempt to kill himself, thwarted by mitsuba then brushed aside for some reason, and i’m about to do a full ass analysis on why tsukasa should murder our boy :3

reiterating that I LOVE KOU MINAMOTO WITH MY WHOLE HEART HES PERFECT

okay so tsukasa. hes a silly guy. one of his main traits is he loves to fuck with people, right? right yeah whatever get to the point IM WORKING ON IT ok sorry anyway he’s silly right. he thrives off fucking people up as much as possible. since he knows fucking everything i’m gonna assume he knows how important kou is to mitsuba and, given the fact that it’s so easy to fuck with mitsuba, he’d know that messing with kou in some way would make the biggest impact. every way he messes up mitsuba’s (after)life doesn’t emotionally impact him for too long, given the fact that he and kou with it out every time. but what happens when we take out the support system? that’s what we wanna know.

so ofc tsukasa feels all silly goofy and takes out kou just for funzies. mitsuba is absolutely fucking destroyed in every way. he blames himself, duh. this splits off into 2 possible scenarios that i’ve created lol.

possibility one: mitsuba stays in his boundary for god knows how long, refusing to talk to anyone. eventually he goes to shijima, begging for a replacement kou. even if hes fake, it’s better than nothing, right? shijima understood his grief, in a way. so, she gave in. boom. kou copy. the rest was none of her business.

kou copy only knows what shijima knows about him, so let’s go with everything up until the end of the picture perfect arc. he has no idea about anything after, including the aquarium date, the far shore incident, and the supernaturals being banished from the near shore in the first place, and it’s fine that way. …right? well, that means he also doesn’t know that he’s supposed to be dead.

he keeps asking mitsuba when he can leave the boundary and go home, when he can go see senpai, when he can see his brother, and he’s very upset. mitsuba has no idea what to do. he was overjoyed to have his crush best friend back that he didn’t even think of what would happen after… he couldn’t let kou out of the boundary. that was out of the question. keeping kou here would make him miserable and make him hate mitsuba. so at this point they’re stuck in a cycle of shouting matches of wether or not kou is allowed to leave, periods of silence, and occasional truces because they both need someone to keep them sane, and who else can do it but each other?

possibly 2: supernaturals are a thing in this world, so why can’t kou be one too? even though tsukasa is the one who killed kou in the first place, mitsuba begs him to bring kou back, to make kou a supernatural just like mitsuba. mitsuba knows what being a supernatural feels like. he knows that just letting kou go would be so much better for the dumb blonde boy. he knows that kou deserves better than to be forced to live in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. but mitsuba is selfish. so tsukasa makes kou into a supernatural. for funzies, you know? he’d never worked with a human corpse before, so why not try out making one into a supernatural?

the process of making a supernatural is… messy. mitsuba now knows this, as he couldn’t look away from his boyfriend being made into one. it was horrific. i’m not gonna delve into it because i really don’t wanna think about that i’m so sorry my poor baby

just like with mitsuba, tsukasa didn’t have kou’s actual soul to work with, just supernatural parts and kou’s body. it was simply an animated puppet that looked like kou minamoto. “it’s fine,” mitsuba said, “it’s okay, he’s back, that what matters, right?” “it’ll be fine, right minamoto?” and as he looks to kou for support, all he gets in response is a blank look. he realizes, after staring in horror at the jagged scar on kou’s neck, that his vocal chords are absolutely fucked up beyond repair. he’d never hear kou’s voice again.

thanks for reading and i’m so sorry <3

[saltynsassy31]

no cus i totally understand your frustration, ive also quit splatfests for the moment until they get an overhaul

i suggest if you feel close to getting hateful to either shiver or shiver fans then maybe quit for a while for your own sake cus ive felt a lot better after doing so, im still really sensitive to negative comments towards frye or rude ones about shiver winning but taking some time for myself has made me feel infinitely better

ive been close to hating shiver before bc of how cocky and rude them and their fans can be but it doesnt really do anything but sour your enjoyment of the game more, so its really not worth it

i do have to say though, anyone who says "its just a game" reaaally needs to understand the frustration of people OTHER than them, sympathy is something a lot of people forget about when it comes to things that arent real life. just because it doesnt affect you doesnt mean everyone can shut off their attachment to the game or a character like a light switch; a lot of the time you dont know whats going on with them. i myself am really attached to frye cus i am hashtag autism creature and he brings me comfort, so anyone being rude to me about shiver winning really REALLY gets under my skin. its not entirely (if they were serious, if they werent then its not at all) their fault, but nintendo fixing the frustration of splatfests constantly keeling in one direction (which theyre supposed to do anyways but they havent) would definitely fix the issue. we need to find a way to have nintendo fix this, not attack anyone else for what bundle of pixels and text theyre attached to.

not everyone has really thick skin and if we want splatoon 3 to be more hospitable then we should try to cut down on the general splatfest bullassery in public spaces (being overly cocky and rude/blaming others in a way with no basis or truth behind it). its not something everyone can always do since we arent all perfect, but if we make steps in that direction then we could help more people enjoy the splatoon community rather than being eaten up by toxicity and spite

i didnt word all of this entirely correctly so like interpret ad best as you can cus im eepy but yeah.

a fye for u to enjoy (also ur anon is off btw)

u dont have to but for the sake of not being harrassed id appreciate if u didnt tag with public tags

👏👏 PREACH

I don't want to quit playing it, I do enjoy splatfests, to a certain extent, i like going with my friends and i made a lot of new friends through it, it's like, the online community that I'm having a problem with

I don't hate shiver, I thought I did but I can't, she is still a comfort character (tho Frye is like, my obsession besides being my comfort character cuz I am also part part the 'tism XD), in a way, I like her dynamic with the group at least, she annoys me, yes, very much so, but I don't hate her

And I don't hate people who like her either

Who I do hate is people being mean about it, I had turned off anon cuz of a stupid person who was going around every frye support account anonymously just saying mean stuff and praising shiver as the best, I just forgot to turn it on, so thanks for reminding me 😅

Saying that "It's just a game" is so annoying to, tell that to the football fans, they go just as crazy if not more so

Splatfests are ment to be fun! You should be able to enjoy the splatfest without having to worry about people fighting

I don't like fighting with people, I hate how angry I become, how mean I can sound sometimes, I usually just vent without interacting

At least she won in Japan, so that is one other win under her belt, I just wish she'd win more in the future 😔

Oh also I almost didn't participate in this splatfest either and I did only because I haven't had time to play and I haven't finished my catalogue yet 😅 I usually use splatfests to up my catalogue quicker lmao

Also, don't worry, I won't tag anything that could get you harassed, if anything does happen, please block for your health, I don't want anything happening to you, you seem very sweet ;w;

Edit: also YOUR FRYE PLUSH IS SO CUTE! I've been seeing people get her but idk where to buy her!!!! Where'd you get it? :0

[sabakos]

.

Quite frankly I think the madness means I should be allowed to say "retarded" even if it *is* true that my IQ was over 180 when they tested it in middle school. Apparently my mother won the fight with my father about not telling me that information, which is a good thing because I did not need *that* piece of information on top of all the other nonsense I had going on. Not like I can even brag about that anyway, who would believe me? I don't even quite believe it myself, it's more likely my dad has early onset dementia or is lying to me or trying to flatter me for some unknown reason. Great thing to bring up casually over lunch, like oh hows the brisket sandwich btw you are literally smarter than god.

If it really is true I kinda wish nobody else growing up had access to that information either though? The personal half-hour long moral lecture from the middle school principal about how I needed to "stop being so lazy" because of how incredibly smart I was when I started not doing well in my classes does make a lot more sense in retrospect, but since none of these people in my life who apparently cared so much about how much of a "genius" i was provided any material help I think it would have been better if i had been left alone.

But also fuck all the other IQ-obsessed people even more honestly. fuck your stupid "you scored really well on pattern matching and word puzzles and shit so you need to contribute more to society and solve all the greatest problems" mindset. i dont owe you shit, if it really is true that any of this shit makes me so much better (which I doubt, honestly...) then I stand by my teenage attitude that being smart meant I deserved to work less hard to fulfill the same expectations as everyone else and that the excess slack belonged to me. go find a "gifted and talented program" bootlicker with perfect handwriting to sort your fucking spreadsheets; im going to do the bare minimum that still lets me have a cheese budget.

and on top of it all turns out I'm literally fucking psychotic anyway so up yours, society. if I worked my ass off in my 20s to change the world before my brain exploded maybe they would have blamed it all on that, but for my part I'm glad I got to indulge in all the "leisure" that I did, and with any luck I've got 50-70 more years of this to not "make anything of myself." maybe i'll be lucky enough to land a boring programmer job where the stress doesnt poison my brain and I can slack off a bit without anyone noticing when the emails start sounding poetic. but fuck your stupid cult of the genius im not going to save the world or cure cancer, if all goes well then excepting maybe some alternative lifestyle bullshit im going to live as a fucking normie and keep to myself. boil the goddamn world for all i care.

[martian-garden]

Discord Group was discussing how fear of AMAB bodies in queer spaces happened and here's my experience from watching some of the beginnings of modern "inclusive language" (afab, amab) getting weaponized. Putting it here in case anyone else has seen similar shit or is curious to see what happened to me. For the purposes of perspective, as this happened around me, I still identified as a woman at this time/was an egg.

>not to oversimplify how we got here, but basically a bunch of feminists (real) started talking about the trauma many women have with men (valid). and then a bunch of (ime) baby feminists who had not done an extensive amount of work and had lost the plot of Gender Equality being the intended result of feminism started blaming men as individuals for the patriarchy, instead of other people caught up in an unbelievably complex system in which all players are trapped. and then that validated people's reflexive distrust for transfem people and nb amabs, AND trans men who pass, and ALSO hurt cis men who are BTW ALSO VICTIMS HERE, THERE ARE VERY FEW WINNERS IN TOXIC MASCULINITY, it's a societal framework, not a deliberate attempt unless you're fuckin andrew tate or someone richer than balls with serious social swing. and yeah then we got to a point where like. afab people of all genders are sometimes rly fucking asinine around amab people of all genders bc they've been taught that their trauma responses, which are frequently genuine, are in fact okay reasons to treat people like shit

>that's my take anyway

>it's imo part of a broader societal phenomenon where the access to information about therapy and therapy terms and concepts without being able to GO to therapy bc of trash healthcare costs and lack of coverage means that people are validating each other's trauma without the main core of therapy, which is doing work to mitigate it. so you have a lot of people repeating stuff like "your feelings are valid" while missing the plot, which is that no. feelings are feelings. they're things that happen to you for (a) reason(s), and they're not your FAULT, but they should not dictate your behavior. feelings are like a sensory input. they are information and a reaction that you need to work in concert with. and sometimes they don't like something that they have no business not liking, or that maybe they have business disliking, but WOULD HURT OTHER PEOPLE if you acted on them.

The issue is that people are trying to use therapy terms to justify themselves and their pain (ok) but not actually realizing that it's part of a maladaptive response that does damage--to you and to the people around you (not ok). but bc they don't have access to the second half of that, they just get stuck in a loop of Bad Feeling = sign to avoid thing or Bad Feeling = i shouldn't have to feel that way, without critically engaging with why or how it's also kind of your responsibility to make yourself not feel bad.

This essay brought to you by a guy who spent 4 years at a college with 4 therapists, at least 2 of whom were quacks (small town, no off-campus resources) and 1300 students, over half of which were in some kind of active crisis at any given time. I watched the Sexuality and Gender Alliance club start hosting events "only for women and afabs" bc amab people, regardless of sometimes being women, were going to make it so that people were traumatized, despite pushback from several AFAB NB PEOPLE who didn't like being lumped in with women or divorced from their own masculinity.

btw if you're wondering, the painting of AFAB people as victims and inherently vulnerable DEFINITELY contributed to the TERF notion of women being inherently harmless, in need of protection, and also that femininity is delicate. It just reinforced the shitty gender norms that OG feminists wanted to destroy. It's very fucked up.

Anyway to any young feminists: AMAB people are your friends, your allies, your family. trans people's assigned sex or genitals are not inherently traumatizing, just like someone's scarring isn't inherently traumatizing. Trauma isn't a god. Stop giving it that power to hurt other people, even if you don't perceive them as vulnerable--bc GUESS WHAT, EVERYBODY IS- and rob you of some of the most precious connections you'll ever have.

[biblicallyaccuratevirgo]

Hiiii it's me. Mildred. That Bitch that everyone wishes would go away. Since I foolishly tried to level with @moonsheen via email about how absolutely fucking poisonous and toxic @artofchira is, I'm realizing that it's time for the gloves to come off. After all, how can you expect to reason with an abuser and their enabler?

Anyway, I've been missing for the last few years because I've been in an abusive relationship! Wow! Surprise! And what do they have to do with it? Well. When @artofchira and I were "friends" (if you can even call it that), rather than help me figure out the gravity of the situation that I was in, she decided that it was best to gaslight me, manipulate me and even ENCOURAGE me to try and make things work with my rapist! Can you believe??? The person who has been mentoring so many artists could be this vile??? Absolutely UNBELIEVABLE!

ANYWAY, over the last year specifically, I've been trying to get my shit together. It turns out that after being raped, beaten and mentally/emotionally abused for a few years with absolutely no where to turn to, it can be hard to piece together your own personal experience and narrative - ESPECIALLY after the few people you trust (especially @artofchira ) decide to make it into a situation where responsibility should be shared between BOTH parties, even when one of you desperately wants things to end and you are trying really fucking hard to figure out how to leave.

Since @artofchira decided that the blame for my abusive relationship should be shared, it feels only fair that the same should be done for both her and @moonsheen ! Someone who has been working with her FOR YEARS through @littlefoolery and who 100% knows exactly the kind of toxic abusive shit @artofchira is up to on the regular. But WHY would she be okay with this? Well it's because @artofchira specifically targets her competitors! Wow! Amazing! Can you believe????

So rather than try and call an end to their toxic dynamic, @moonsheen has decided that it's within her best interest to ignore literally everything happening because she does, after all, benefit from @artofchira 's abusive behavior.

Now what? Idk. I'm about to be evicted because my abusive rapist piece of shit ex decided to run off with two months of rent RIGHT AS I WAS STARING TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Something I'm sure @artofchira was hoping would happen because putting me in such a dire situation would mean that I'd never be able to bounce back ever again!

If I don't expect anything then why am I doing this? Because I fucking can, that's why. Unlike @artofchira that's on a fucking short leash held by @moonsheen, if I'm in a situation that I decide I need to do something about it, I dont need to ask anyones FUCKING PERMISSION BECAUSE IM NOT THEIR GLORIFIED FUCKING ATTACK DOG.

At this point considering what I'm facing, it'd be stupid as fuck for me to just take it all sitting. I let myself take hits for years. Did they really think that the moment I got the chance, I wouldn't come swinging?

Anyway. @artofchira is a dirty fucking poisonous coward who can only fight dirty because they know they're always in the wrong. They have to go out of their way to do whatever to fucking win because they're so fucking pathetic that they can't handle a fair fucking fight.

SO LET'S GO @artofchira ! I KNOW you were hoping I'd come back at a more opportune time so you could... What... Use this fight to get attention for @littlefoolery ? Use it as an opportunity to get attention for your shitty storyboarding project Gaze an Eagle Blind (which btw what kind of name is that you pretentious fucks lmfao)? You wanted to take a lesson out of my own personal book but here are the differences between me and you:

I never manufactured fights and fallouts to line my own fucking pockets. If I'm going to go toe to toe with someone, it's because I witnessed something I couldn't stand by, not because I'm a passive aggressive little bitch who needs everyone to stroke my fucking ego and tell me how smart and special I am.

I never used fights to bolster my own work. If it happened to happen by chance then so fucking be it but there's a reason why I deleted my old twitter account and it's because I couldn't make peace with the fact that the work that I LOVE was being mixed up with my unfiltered and unregulated anger.

I'm not a punk ass bitch like you LMFAO

I'm the person you wish you were. I'm the confidence and vibe you struggle to embody every single day of your life. You put up a front but you're still the little kid who never got over someone ripping up their picture in FUCKING GRADE SCHOOL and decided to use that as a reason to walk through this world with a fucking chip on your shoulder.

Do you know how many times people made fun of my work? Do you know how many times I had my work get ripped up? Ridiculed? Criticized? Degraded? No. You don't. Because I don't make it a part of my personal identity to have everyone validate every single time someone said I wasn't good enough.

You narcissistic shit who walks through life like a god but you're nothing without your believers. What would you do if Alex decided to fuck off? Leave you behind? What's your plan B in life, Jayd? Do you even have one?

Anyway. I'm sure I'll have more to say later but that's all for now. But for good measure, let me do some tagging because I know your go to is to block and run lmfao

@secondlina

@hiveworks

@savvyliterate

@sloaneshutup

@cartoonistcoop

@ironcircuscomics

@shoomlah

@genuerevuelta

@tanekastotts

@pallisia

@trungles

@jubyart

@pepurika

@zackmorrisonart

@oliveoilcorp

@bluedelliquanti

@jovaline

@oxboxer

@evegwood

@superposeblog

@quindriepress

@saint-vagrant

@heyshivana

@pepurika

@abellehayford

@spacerocketbunny

@kelmcdonald

@melgillman

@itsnilah

@mishacakes

@aluhnim

@sephiramy

And no I'm not tagging you guys because I expect you to do anything. In fact, I have a massive grudge against a lot of you LMFAO I just figure if I'm going to come for someone's head then I might as well have an audience :)