#but anyway enough of that sadness that it's what this post is about
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a bingbing that i made back in december but never posted and only found now when looking for something in my files
i remember that the context was that i saw one too many bad faith binghe takes (on twt) so i sat down and doodled my little guy so i would feel normal lol
#svsss#luo binghe#i think i didnt post it back then cuz it didnt feel good enough and i was sad about it#but ykno what hes cute get posted 6 months later idiot#anyway no binghe bashing allowed on this blog btw
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
âBuy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.â
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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Roleswap anyone??
Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!
#this might be the most mentally ill thing ive drawn yet....#lmao im like ah this would be a funny idea to draw#and then got WAAYYYYY more into drawing napoleon#to the point of cuteness aggression and sadness that him in f1 isnt real :(#cofi and i made up a whole lore and plot line so if you want a pt 2 of that hmu LMAO#but briefly: hes a driver(2 wdc btw) who got kicked out for smth and then came back as a tp again to torment his former rivals#gahhhhh why is he so cute why isnt he real :( i would stan him so hard you dont understand#with his cute little lesbian bob and introverted but brave and outspoken demeanor....#his mechanics and team in general are all tall men who love to pick him up#but god the plot is just so fun and compelling that it makes me sad that kinda driver doesnt exist irl#my greatest dream is for someone from the actual napoleon fandom to see this#bcs its weird enough for you guys so i cant even imagine what theyd think#BUT PLEASEEE#anyways. this is a very odd post. but im very proud of it :)#lmao this is just like one step closer to actually writing my proper manifesto about it#but yeah i posted that silly meme the other day and it got way more notes that i expected so maybe this will be appealing too?#girls who cannot draw normal fanart#<- like seriously i wont draw napoleon in his normal clothes and fernando vice versa but no prob with the reverse?? my brain...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#nandopoleon alonsoparte#napoleon bonaparte#napoleon#catie.art
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So I saw this and I've been working on a piece from Petunia's POV, it feels very relevant. I liked this response, but I also have of my own HC thoughts to throw out there.
Most of my HC is gut instinct. I've worked with a lot of kids, I was a teacher, I have a child, my education is in human development and family studies and early childhood education. And when I think about Harry, I feel so sad, because he was definitely abused, neglected, and isolated.
Then I remember he's a fairly functional youth/teenager.
I also think about Harry as a rather biased narrator.
The Dursleys are awful to him, to be frank, they aren't great parents in general. Just take a look a Dudley. But I think it is hard to get a clear view of Harry's home life from the limited evidence given in canon.
JKR needed Harry to have a negative relationship with muggles because it is one of the things with differentiates him from Tom. Both of them grew up in the muggle world, "unloved" but I'd argue their experiences are so dissimilar they cannot be compared to each other. JKR is also a mom. And until you live that experience, and understand what it feels like to want to rage at a child you love so so dearly, I think it is easy to see Petunia as bad and Harry as good. But Harry was a little shite. All kids are at times - 100% true. I think it wasn't a far leapt from several bad parenting moments to straight up bad parenting on Petunia's part. Vernon I HC as hating Harry from day one.
To be clear: Petunia doesn't like having Harry living with them. It's hard enough to do your best with your own *wanted* child. She had no motivation to do her best with Harry. And Harry wasn't going out of his way to be a bad kid, he was just a normal kid.
Basically, I like to think Harry's upbringing wasn't quite as awful as some people make it out to be. Child protective services was never involved, Harry went to school, other adults had eyes on him and there are no references to anything being horribly amiss. There are comments he makes about dodging Uncle Vernon's fists, but I have a hard time thinking he was ever actually physically abused by his aunt or uncle. He was yelled at and food restriction was absolutely used in an abusive way against him. He was also made to do yard/house work (and here I think there is room to argue this is not necessarily as BAD a thing as people imagine it to be).
Anyways, I'm planning to post a whole Petunia POV story at some point. It's about half written right now. And I know many people view the Dursleys as villains, but as always, there is likely more going on under the surface. I'm not claiming they aren't villainous, but I'm a lot more interested in why everyone in the magical world let Harry STAY in that abusive household than about the degree to which the household was abusive.
Just some thoughts. No hate to any mindset or HC.
Harryâs life at the Dursley makes me extra side when I remember he was a baby when he came to them. It makes me wonder when did he start sleeping in the cupboard?
And then I spiral and think about Harry calling Petunia mom when he is three years old. How did she raise him until he became a kid? And I think about him doing art during Mother and Fatherâs Day for his uncle and his aunt and them throwing it in the bin. Did he try to listen Petunia read a story to Dudley? Did he ever learn how to swim with school and he just never learnt?
And it makes me so, so sad.
It is. Everything about Harry's childhood breaks my heart. I already talked about it here and here.
We actually have a very depressing answer about the swimming lessons bit from GoF:
He wasnât a very good swimmer; heâd never had much practice. Dudley had had lessons in his youth, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, no doubt hoping that Harry would drown one day, hadnât bothered to give him any.
Which I take to mean he had maybe, like, two or three lessons for swimming at school and that's it.
As for the other stuff, I don't remember direct answers so you're going to hear my headcanons:
1. I think Harry never called Petunia "mom". When he was a baby he still could remember his mother and as he grew up he got used to calling her "Aunt Petunia" so he never called her mom except for maybe one time on accident when he was 3 or 4 which he was screamed at for: "I'm not you're mother, Freak!" and probably also slapped for.
2. I think when he was very very young, like, younger than 2-3 Petunia did put more effort in keeping him alive immediately after her sister's death and with Dumbledore's letter/threat fresh in her mind. But slowly she saw nothing happened and no one came when she treated Harry badly, so it emboldened the Duesleys.
I also think Harry started showing magic at a very young age, like 4-5, and when he did, Petunia and Vernon moved him to the cupboard and their treatment of him worsened even more.
After all, Petunia remembers her childhood with Lily who could do magic, she would recognize it for what it is â and she and Vernone are terrified of it. That's why the moment Harry showed signs of magic I believe they moved him to the cupboard to keep him away from Dudley.
3. The idea you brought up about little Harry making a family drawing of him with the Dursleys and Petunia scrunching her nose before throwing it in the bin in front of Harry's face.... shit, that's so sad and I'm sure it happened. I just imagine baby Harry's face, all proud of his drawing and not fully understanding the Dursleys yet with his cute nose and big green eyes and he would be so disappointed. I don't think he'd cry though. I think by that point he learned Vernon and Petunia don't like him crying.
4. I think the next year he drew himself with how he imagines his parents to be and he hides it from the Dursleys because Harry's a fast learner. I'm sure he spent nights dreaming about who his parents were from the very little information he got out of Petunia.
5. I can definitely see a young Harry crouching near Dudley's bedroom door as Petunia tells him a story. And then when she's done, he'd run away quickly so he won't be caught.
6. As a bit of a continuation of sneaking around to listen to bedtime stories, I think watching television at the Dursleys was similar. We know from canon Harry did use the time the Dursleys were away to watch television or play on Dudley's computer:
âYou could just leave me here,â Harry put in hopefully (heâd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudleyâs computer) .
(PS)
Though I don't think the Dursleys allowed him to do it, he just got good at sneaking around when they're not there. I'm saying that since Harry mentions Mrs. Figg lets him watch television:
She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though sheâd had it for several years.
(PS)
So it seems he wasn't usually allowed to watch television or play on Dudley's computer. I think the way Harry watches television when the Dursleys are home is by standing at the doorway and watching without them noticing (that's why he can't pick what to watch). I mean, we kinda see him doing it in OotP when he lays beneath the window to listen to the news on their television without them knowing.
Yeah, Harry's childhood was so depressing and I think the books actually portray him and how his childhood affected him well considering the books were limited in what they were allowed to show. I think the signs of trauma and abuse are clear if you look for them, even if they're not all called out in an obvious manner.
Writing this post just made me super sad now for Harry. My boy deserved so much better.
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy // an edit a day til penguins hockey, a countdown (day 9)
x x x x
#pascal dupuis#pittsburgh penguins#hockey poetry#my poetry posts#an edit a day til penguins hockey (a countdown)#i had too much fun with this#as you can tell by the fact that there's 4 of these#started as a diptych and made it a triptych and then went what if two diptyches#Iâm justifying this cause itâs the bridge they repeat the same line like 5 times â Iâve shown restraint by only making 4 sad photos#anyway poor duper heâs unfortunately a story about how the love of the game was not enough :(#super duper#fob x pens
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From 'Dream of a woman' By Cacey Plett.
This sums up exactly how I feel about most transition timelines. As much as they reflect people's experiences, they are also a narrative. And the narratives that get shared the most tell a lot about what our values are. The timelines that get the most attention are the ones where people go from sad, loser, nothing boys into beautiful women.
But if you go to /r/transitiontimelines or a similar place, and sort by controversial or look at what has the least likes, its people who made timelines when they still don't 'pass' yet. Even if they're happy as can be, that's not what people are looking for.
I think it says a lot about what people expect from trans women, that they only want to see us be beautiful. In some cases, that they want to believe they can be beautiful. So there is no value in trans life if you're not beautiful.
#i dont know if this is exactly what the narrative was trying to convey here but it is something i felt while reading it#and i hope thats meaningful to others when shared#i know he's kind of a chucklefuck but i so think 'the queer art of failure' by J. Halberstam has a lot to say about the impetus to he happy#and its conditions#a lot of the time i feel like i have to perform positivity as a trans woman because its whats expected both from women#and from people lucky enough to transition#while at the same time social conditions are worsening and even personally#there arent solutions to much of my dysphoria#regardless of all that you're expected to just be happy even though the conditions for that don't exist#i think being honest about those things#that negativity#can bring its own happiness#and i think thats also valuable#i guess what im trying to say is that i think ugly trannies can be happy and should be valued#i think sad trannies are wonderful and ought to be cherished#and i think people shouldnt have to pretend to be happy in the same way a woman shouldn't have to pretend to be a man#maybe that doesnt make full sense and i need to think harder to communicate my feelings#but thats the vibe rn#anyways#i really like this book and yall should check it out#dream of a woman#cacey plett#trans women#transgender#trans#transmisogyny#transition timeline#i dont mean this post to denigrate timelines btw#just the way that we give certain ones attention and the teleology of transition that follows#books
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What do you think about gojo ships
I feel like I'm pretty indifferent to most of them. This is super cringe of me, but whenever I fall super in love with a character I don't often like shipping them romantically with anyone. đ (im delusional I know)
It doesn't help that for some reason the jjk fandom (especially twt) is weirdly aggressive about ships. I know it isn't all the shippers and it's mostly just the loud minority, but seeing so much of the discourse has kinda put me off and I don't really engage much with the ships in the fandom except for rarepairs and selfships bc alot of the time those communities are more wholesome and cozy (if that makes sense LOL)
#satofie best ship#andnajdjskdjksnfksndjdj im sorry im cringe đđ#anyways i honestly have no idea#its not even about not liking seeing him with others bc i enjoy seeing other ppls gojo Ă oc/selfships#i just for some reason dont really vibe with any of the existing gojo ships in the series#weirdly enough if i had to choose one i feel like sukugo is the most interesting one LOL they are so funny with eachother#i feel like in a different life they really couldve hit it off#i feel bad for gojohime shippers sometimes#like i personally dont like the ship but oh my god ppl on twitter are so mean about that ship i dont even know why ???#is it bc alot of them prefer him shipped with a guy ?? or they dont like seeing another woman that isnt them with him?? i dont know#but i see so much hate for it and it makes me sad bc like just move on or mute the account so u dont have to see it if you really hate it#the amount of times ive seen some big jjk account qrt a fanart dissing the ship while also getting more likes than the artists post is craz#why do ppl fight over fake people kissing.......#i remember this one account specifically that was obsessed with gojo but they were so snobby about it and like gatekeeping other fans#and they really hated gjhm and for some reason felt the need to make it into a problematic ship instead of just saying#i dont like this and moving on#but they made this whole thing abt how toxic they actually are bc utahime hates gojo#only to (in the same thread) gush over their fave ship which was nanago#and i felt crazy bc its......literally the same dynamic what#like am i missing something ?????#anyways this got a bit wild but pls be nice to eachother and respect eachothers ships#you dont have to justify why u dislike a ship you can just not like it#no need to turn it problematic
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Bundled up..
timelapse because why not
#my art#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru of utaya#kabru#kabru dungeon meshi#kabru dunmeshi#milsiril#Scheduling this one#I saw a Milsiril post today & got reminded about how I love her#Itâs sad how she gets misinterpreted#sheâs not perfect but sheâs notâŚ. sheâs not what people make of her often enough#Anyway her relationship with Kabru is interesting#also. see the scars on her hands (facing away from Kabru)#and how she covers his eye but it wonât work. he doesnât desire it
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. âsaves�� her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is âi probably won't stop even if you doâ#âguess i am like my father after allâ and yashiro still goes âyou're not. you're pure and im the problemâ#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the âyour sister was lucky she had youâ.#wips tag
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I know we as a fandom all love to shit on Duncan whenever we get the chance (see: me posting Duncan GruncanWuncan) especially since the like, two times we ever see him he's shitting on us for being ourselves then tries to kill us because of his own delusions of grandeur but I thought about it and I was like, "......man that's kinda Sad actually"
BECAUSE seeing this from Duncan's perspective; he's The Best, he always has been the best, but reality constantly shows him that isn't true (Malorn, The Wizard, anyone else)
Like imagine how painful that can be when you think something that you truly deserved and something that you've fought for, maybe for your entire life, is seemingly handed to others who aren't nearly as deserving as you
And yeah WE know that Duncan has neither worked (very hard, at least) for his perceived greatness NOR does he truly """deserve""" it (Duncan has been shown to be shirking his duties off to us and possibly others for his own gain), but DUNCAN doesn't know this. Like in his mind he truly, honestly, genuinely believes with his whole fragile heart that he is just above everyone else and puts more effort in trying to convince others of that rather than literally just trying to work towards that himself
And then there's the extra added insult that even in his own class he's pretty mediocre. Duncan INSISTS that he was Malistaire's best student and that he praised Duncan maybe once and that all other Death students only wish they could be like him, but... Malorn. And I bet deep down Duncan KNOWS that in fact Malorn was Malistaire's best and most talented. And Duncan can't even really twist that in his mind because it was made solid when Malorn took over Malistaire's duties instead of him. It was proven as a hard fact that Malorn was more suited to the job than Duncan was and is widely recognized as being The Best Death student (if the YW isn't a Necromancer)
Okay so fine. Whatever it's just Death right? At least Duncan can be the best at ANYTHING ELSE, maybe he's not the most talented Necromancer but there's 6 more types of magic to excel in!!!
But then another person ruins that. The Young Wizard poofs in from another world and suddenly, Duncan is overshadowed once more because a literal child prodigy and Local Hero arrives and literally saves their world and then, the universe. Multiple times in fact
Like bro I can imagine that could be at least a little bit painful for anyone, but imagine with Duncan's already low self-esteem and his fragile, large ego, he literally and genuinely took that personally and a hit to your pride is devastating for anyone, no matter who you are. That was like, Strike Three for Duncan and it was so very personal and important to him that it left him in a deep and vulnerable state
But I think the absolute saddest part of Duncan's downfall is that near the end, he was ultimately manipulated by an adult. A grown ass adult noticed and acknowledged his insecurities and purposely struck where it hurts the most, in his weakest state. Duncan already wasn't thinking clearly from the start but when everything went to shit for him and he was clinging, Gretta DarkKettle approached him and completely broke him down to make him into something else entirely for the Schism's benefit.
Of course Duncan was a piece of shit from the start but he truly didn't have any malicious intentions until Gretta messed with his mind. Like, he went from a pretty much harmless bully to an actual criminal of the state and a threat to the literal universe. Duncan was CORRUPTED and all of his worst fears and delusions were solidified the moment Gretta """validated""" those feelings Duncan had.
Is Duncan completely blameless? Fuck no he did some fucked up shit actually and I'm glad he was held accountable for it by the narrative and the fandom!!! But I think it's something to be said that at the end of the day, Duncan was still a child that was suffering from many type of issues before being recruited and manipulated by a powerful literal cult. Wizard101 does have a theme of malicious intending and less than responsible adults using children to get what they want (Malistaire, Morganthe's brother, GF Spider, GM Raven, coughcoughAmbrose) but unlike the Young Wizard who successfully stays true to themselves despite that, Duncan had a more Morganthe-like route and ultimately succumbed to it. Of course their situations are a lot different since the YW wasn't brought in by a cult, but you can't help but feel bad for someone so young being preyed on by older people who are supposed to look out for them and protect them from something just LIKE that.
I will always shit on Duncan because it's funny and hold him accountable for his actions because he should, but I also feel bad for him and I hope he had a better ending after he was defeated
#this isnt like a callout post btw LMAO everyone is free to feel how they feel#this isnt me like shitting on the fandom or anything pls dont feel that way#i just think duncans situation is really interesting and kinda important to look at beneath all the memes and stuff#duncan is a loser in my heart but he's a victim in my soul. poor kid#also think about the fact that he STILL wasnt strong enough even after all that. we still defeated him#he spent most of his young life having all that resentment and anger and hatred in his heart-#-and thought it would all finally be worth it once we were dead but that also fell apart#my fave types of villains are the ones who trult believe they were right/were wronged by the world#duncan literally had delusions of granduer. thats super tough to get over#the feelings and belief of self can be so so important to someone#what you truly believe about YOURSELF is like the core. it can even be more important that religion/family/etc. for some people#it personally makes sense to me that duncan would feel so broken after having that 'taken' away from him#because if you dont have yourself to count on then who???? what else is there#also sad because literally the wizard did nothing to him. we were just minding our own business but duncan still took it personally#it didnt have to be that way at ALL and i hope he gets some therapy and gretta gets locked up forever#anyway. im normal#wizard101#w101#wiz101#duncan grimwater#long post#text post
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every day i think about the ansur plot in act 3 could've actually had emotional weight if larian studios gave a shit about wyll. damn.
#like the whole gauntlet is about expressing the type of heroism that wyll has striven for his entire life.#the way the quest is so prototypical in it's fairy tale sensibility of the honest and true hero awaking a dragon under the city and -#saving the day and he goes through this whole gauntlet that's a test of how well he ascribes to the ideals of balduran and his father -#and everything he ever clung to to validate himself to himself after being coerced into mizora's deal as a 17 year old kid and then -#he succeeds! he passes the tests! only to find that ansur (literally named answer) is an undead abomination you have to put down#like it's SO SAD. and to me a big part of his story is accepting who HE is. seeing himself outside of his deal w mizora or what his father#wanted him to be and the fact that wyll isn't allowed to have a big emotional reaction to the ansur situation is so annoying#in fact wyll doesn't EVER get to have an emotional reaction to anything bc larian studios doesn't care enough to flesh his story out -#despite giving him one of the most interesting ideas for a character in the game! like act 3 should be WYLL'S act! he's so tied into -#everyone important in that act that it's actually a crime that he's sidelined the most there and he doesn't have enough vocal fans -#that larian studios will ever care enough to patch his story or add anything like they did for karlach or astarion. it's so dumb.#and it sucks that the writers don't recognize wyll's abuse bc his abuser is a hot devil lady. what she does to him is sick. god.#anyway. whatever.#baldur's gate 3#my posts#.txt
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so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious
all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair
i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!
at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself
#really just posting this as a precaution bc I feel like people get mad at me for posting about strategies and it makes me sad#because i'm trying to have fun#and i would love to watch and support everyone but i cant there isnt enough time and i dont speak french#anyway let people support red team without getting jumped#they're just talking about their streamer like chill#like genuinely the way people are talking on here makes me feel bad for supporting red team#until i remember that i did nothing wrong they're just being mean#i get youre defensive but like YOU are the one creating discourse my guy#we're just over here talking#thought about switching it up for today and watching blue team but then i rememberd#i dont have to appease you i can do what i want#if i want to watch red team and talk about red team then i can do so#if you have a problem with that it's your own fault#sorry these tags are really sassy but like fr people need to chill#talking about the discourse all the time only makes it worse#and i want to keep talking strategy without having to defend myself constantly#because i hate when people intentionally misinterpet my words#ok rant over#qsmp
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cursing my friend
#felt bad that he was always so sad about the lack of them anywhere. so i drew this for her#but also i like how it turned out enough to also post this here#little afraid to tag this though cause i dont want him to find my tumblr#terrifying thought to me#anyways#uh. i dont know anything about wxs except what shes told me so#said friend is a big fan of the he/she tsukasa headcanon and liked the long hair so that why tsukasa has. ling hair#then i added a littke short haired nene because i figured it fit#though she just looks like shiho to me like that
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so idk if anyone remembers anymore but some time ago I described a fic idea in the tags of a post (and then elaborated the idea in a later ask) regarding Olli/Aleksi falling for each other while still being in relationships respectively... yeah, I kinda ended up writing something based off that thought and I just uploaded the first chapter on AO3, I hope y'all will be cool about it đđ
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#i probably should've added some more tags but i really just don't want to spoil anything too much đ#please please please be nice i am so goddamn nervous about this fic#MASSIVE thanks to my pre-readers who i love so đ#ugh i'm so terrible at promoting my own fics lol pls just take this out of my hands and do whatever you will with it#i know the premise of the fic may sound off-putting and/or sad but i hope you'll give it a chance anyway đĽş#ignore me constantly editing the tags of this post lol ANYWAY i forgot to mention that i've already written all 4 chapters#idk what the ideal posting schedule would be but sunday has often been posting day for me so...#this 1st chapter is quite short but the others are definitely longer and i want to give y'all enough time to read đ#and idk maybe it's just me being a slow reader but i always get a little anxious if i can't keep up with an author's posting schedule đ#kudos comments reblogs likes asks dms i'll take anything <3
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sharpe interesting to me for reasons that I can't even tell are actually in the show or not... it is partially that I got introduced to the land parts of the various napoleonic goings-on in a sort of Archaeological context to start out with, so when I'm watching these guys cross back and forth across spain, losing items and burying friends and enemies as they go, I do keep thinking of hundreds of years in the future and where those things will be. lost shako badges and stray bullets will turn up eventually. wooden grave markers will rot. names will be forgotten and skeletons will remain, buried on a hilltop and maybe someday found. time passes and the dusty weight of history is a very present thing.
#em is posting about sharpe#or it is to me! pointing and shouting pepe silvia style to ask if anyone else is seeing this!!#most historical fiction does not do this to me but sharpe does for some reason#maybe it's that most war fiction I like is maritime and here we're standing our way through funeral after funeral and death after death#and they put them in the ground! and I know a little bit more about how the ground keeps someone than how the sea doesn't!#this is also about the antoine faveau cuirass and that in mental comparison to h&h at waterloo#this is a show that devotes a significant amount of time to what you do with your dead (in my personal opinion anyway!)#and h&h do not and will not get that. and I make sad little whimpery noises and possibly some sad art about it.#all the revenge in the world doesn't let you get them back! and the likelihood of there being time to sort through and set them aside is#not really a lot at all!#and it all doesn't mean much and the world doesn't remember them and no one knows their names or what they did#augh. I haven't been this soupy over The Historical Fiction In Its Haunting of an Imagined Present since the terror#well that's enough speech-making in blueberry park for tonight I think. back to the old physical therapy lurk.
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