#but also...goats!! there were so many goats my loves
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Lynton & Lynmouth fun 3/3; the Valley of Rocks, Exmoor. Literally one of the most beautiful places I've been to. There was a haze over the place today that obscured the horizon line between water and sky and made the channel seem endless. The rocks were stunning and wonderfully satisfying to climb.
#rl shit#we picked such a good day the water was breathtaking#but it was a little nervewracking to do this climbing and walking along a track#with an open drop down the side#but also...goats!! there were so many goats my loves#wonderful excellent 10/10 if you find yourself in the region well worth a visit#and so concludes my lovely day out thanks for listening
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Me, after finishing a romance anime: Okay well now what do I do
#Maybe I should just rewatch Shirayuki again 🤔#The goat of romance anime. Imo.#Anyway I just finished Sugar Apple Fairy Tale#It was VERY cute#Also very cliche but Challe's hot so it's fine. LMAO#And Bridget's a bitch I hope she rots. Tbh.#Shima speaks#I've also heard Horimiya is another really good one?#Idk I'm just in the mood for romance anime rn whoops haha#It really fucking sucks that the only HnKnA content we got was a movie. And it's not even a GOOD movie#It's confusing as hell 😔#Wish we got a proper adaptation from the main manga#GODDD I gotta read Love Labyrinth of Thorns again.#They were really pushing the Ace/Alice/Julius agenda with that one and it makes me SO fucking happy#I should just reread all my Alice manga honestly it's been a hot second lol#I'VE ALSO been thinking about rereading Kamichama Karin too that one has also been on the brain#Oof. So many choices. Haha
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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I'm gonna be honest I never expected pokemon horizons to be up there as one of my favorite shows currently when I was first intrigued by it last april, but it keeps surpassing my expectations. I'm emotional.
#vi rambling#pokemon#its just. such a joy. i read the interviews with the voice actors last night and it filled me with so many emotions because like...#these voice actors Get their characters. and all the careful details i pick up are very much intentional on the writers and performers part#and its!! SUCH A TREAT!!! to see that the people working on it are just as enthusiastic about it as me.#the mystery being so well set up and the character arcs being so cathartic to watch i feel like im Rewarded for my analysis and noticing#all these details. its just so lovely.#also the fact that this series knows how to prioritize it's cast members so well? our trio is so so great. and i cant believe im saying thi#*this. but there isnt a single character in this series so far that i blatantly dislike. despite the cast being as large as it is.#hell it made me love characters i felt nothing for or straight up disliked in the games. the writing and characterization are that good.#because theyre all quintessential to the main cast's character arcs. idk i just. love this series a lot and im in disbelief it keeps#its level of writing just as high even now. even in this arc that lowered my expectations.#the interviews... bits that stood out to me were definitely ms terasaki noting that amethio looks miserable in the explorers (something tha#is only implied but is conveyed well enough because this series is great at nuanced storytelling)#and ms suzuki saying seeing rika animated made her really excited. me too. i get you. i still freak out whenever shes on screen#and of course their lovely analysis of the characters... mitsuki saiga's portion about liko especially. also anything by yoppi my goat <3#its just so great to see them appreciate everything and put so much thought into it. man im emotional.#and i say this carefully because admittedly im not huge on the dlc characters coming next chapter. but I'll put my trust in them.#dai sato having worked on bebop and samurai champloo definitely reflects in the writing quality.#anipoke
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thinking a lot recently about how being chronically ill as a child must have really fucked with me. i never really thought about it that much in the past but now it's like. i am rotating it in my mind and so on and so forth
#like. the weird and totally indescribable way hospitals make me feel. i want to say ''liminal space'' but it's not really that#supposed to be a place you go to get ''better'' and like sometimes it was but mostly it just always represented uncertainty to me#like so many appointments and urgent care and all these tests only for them to consistently be like ''we don't know what's wrong with her''#especially with the gastrointestinal issues i always had and it was truly awful sometimes#and there were at least a couple uh. traumatic experiences#and it's also kinda infuriating that soo much of it could have probably been chalked up to me having severe anxiety#and like when i think about the way i was as a kid i feel like it should have been SO obvious. but no one ever once thought to consider it#not even once. it was just ''we don't know what's wrong with her'' over and over again#don't even get me started on how obvious it was that i had adhd but adults always acted like it was just me being willfully difficult#''she needs to learn how to pay attention. she doesn't care about anything'' and i was just there like for the love of god somebody help me#but anyway that's another story. in conclusion hospitals feel like a place i go to be scrutinized and poked and prodded#and put through so much fear and discomfort and pain even#only to be told that there's nothing wrong with me and it can't possibly be as bad as i make it out to be#but actually shoutout to my pediatric asthma and allergy doctor. dr. lee truly goated thank you for always making me feel safe <3
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AGHHHHH I SCREAMED SO LOUDLY WHEN I SAW CLAUDE
#i'm just gna spam here until max tags hehe#tag later#i love fire emblem have i ever mentioned that i love fire emblem i love fire emblem i love fire emblem#REMINDS ME I DONT TALK ABT ENGAGE V MUCH#i'm v excited for it still ngl i rlly wna see what it'll bring hehe#graphics aren't my personal fav but i am intrigued! n#🥺🫶��� fe's also a v special series to me#mostly fe3h i unfortunately haven't been able to play other games but i love them vv much!!!!#UWAHHHH IM RLLY SO HAPPY RN I LOVE VIDEO GAMES SO MUCH !!!!! <3#IM SORRY WAIT#ill watch hozier (love him) later bcs i missed it but#AGHHHH LILITH DIABLO! omg halsey#FUCK BLIZZARD BUT HDSLFKJASDLFKSJD ><#DIABLO'S VIBE IS SOOOO COOL i know my dad likes the series i rmb him showing me n apollo a vid once when we were younger hehe#this reminds me i shld finish botw & hzd oh my god my backlog is crazy#oh my god this reminds me of how many games i know but haven't gotten to play yet too#i'll just edit this more while watching ehe#behemoth looks cool omg.. vr ><#MARIO IS SO NOSTALGIC THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD I PLAYED SM MARIO GAMES!!!! BUT HELP IM LAUGHING A BIT 😭😭#kojima is so goated he's the man he's so based fr but oh my god what is this help IM LAUGHING T_T#I RLLY WNA PLAY ELDEN RING N GOW RAGNAROK SOB this reminds me that i haven't played any xenoblade games yet#BANISHERS LOOKS COOL !?!?!?!#OMG FREE UPDATE FOR THE WITCHER 3?#NOOOO I GOT JUMPSCARED BY THAT TRAILER :<< it looked cool tho ehe#i don't hate genshin in a way that i do play the game n i have friends that like the game n i do like the characters but#FUCK GENSHIN! FINAL FANTASY TYPICAL W ILYVM!!!! FFXIV > GENSHIN FR <33
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stop i'm about to walk over there rn and get it for myself,,,staring angrily at my plain black sketchbooks
YOU SHOULD!!! i loooove cool fun covers for notebooks and sketchbooks. theres a brand i love (talons art creation) that makes sketchbooks in like 50 different colours and sizes for HELLA cheap. and its on amazon
and ive learned that cheap bullet journals have REALLY fun patterned covers like 99% of the time. but granted, the paper is really thin so bleed-trough is inevitable. and i can only ever find them in the school supply section of this one weird store thats like selling imported goods or whatever hgkhdsg
and i just picked these ones off my finished sketchbook shelf and!!! look at how fun they can be!!! (granted i DO still stick stickers all over them for funsies) and all the different sizes and colours;;; in loveeee <3 theres already one lined up for me after the tiger one thats a nice lovely pastelly lavender colour <3 <3
i used to also just... draw in lined or squared notebooks i got from the chain grocery store. theyre with fun covers too!! but again, at the cost of having lines or squares *everywhere*
#i think the first 6 of my sketchbooks were lined/squared#and. i dont know how i lived like that#or maybe it was a good thing that i suffered like that. built character for me#admittedly; 18 of my 34 (or 35) sketchbooks are black. so.#i dont know if you signed up for the deranged ramblings i have about sketchbooks. but here you are. enjoy#and fun fact: the fucking talens sketchbooks are ALSO in home depot#like. why are ALL the good supplies in home depot??????#my ass could fucking live in home depot forever#and not run out of new supplies to try#theres sooo many good things. its fucking goated!!!!#gelly roll and sakura have NO right to be in home depot. and the funny thing is#that theres 2 like. actual art supply stores in my city. but all the artists keep raiding home depot instead#cuz everything there is better AND cheaper HDSFGHKDS#home depot my one true love. sighs dreamily <3
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THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL!
pairings: oscar piastri x superstar!reader.
summary: when your boyfriend wins his maiden grand prix, you��ve got to show up for him. that proves difficult when no one believes he’s dating you.
faceclaim: isabella peschardt.
author’s note: dedicated to the one anon that sent me this plot and obviously to the one third of my f1 holy trinity, mr oscar piastri for his maiden win!!! <3
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liked by arianagrande, clairo and 4,827,929 others.
yourusername: the tour is finally done!! thank you so much to all of the incredible fans, my fabulous team and everyone else who made this possible! this is all for you!
i’m home now and as a thank you, i’ve released ‘saturn’. i saw all of your tweets and comments about when i’d finally let it out of my music cage and now it’s free! hope you all enjoy <3
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user1: SHE RELEASED THE LIVE VERSION AND THE ORIGINAL????
-> user2: YNNIES WE HAVE BEEN FED TODAY !!!!!
user3: i saw her melbourne show. she’s soooo good live.
-> user4: y’all bullied her into performing drew barrymore thank you for ur service 🫡
user5: so many celebrities showed up to the tour. omg. beyoncé, sza, jay-z, the obama’s daughters, ari, dua, the hadids, justin bieber, and so many others.
-> user6: so many f1 drivers were there? pierre, charles and his gf were spotted at the paris show. lando, oscar, george and his gf, and alex and his gf went to the london show. mick and lewis went to the berlin show. this girl has a HOLD in the motorsport world.
-> user7: i mean, oscar always reposts her stuff on his timeline. he’s probably a ynnie and that’s so real of him.
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liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 1,123,828 others.
oscarpiastri: got my first win, not too shabby eh?
view all 567,122 comments
nicolepiastri: WOOOO thats my son 🍾
*liked by oscarpiastri.*
user1: obsessed with this man
user2: AUSTRALIA RAHHH 🐨🦘🇦🇺
charles_leclerc: congratulations son! another win for the leclerc family.
user3: MY GOAT!!!!!
-> user4: a win for gen z.
user5: wym winners are now being born in the 2000s???
-> user6: girl i feel OLD 😭
yourusername: so proud of you! literally cried when you won! i was screaming at the television and everything. my dad got it on camera 😔
-> oscarpiastri: epic, send it to me.
-> user7: HELP?/&/&
-> user8: wym that thee yn yln and oscar piastri text??
-> user9: since when was yn a oscar stan?
-> user10: fr cause she never used to watch f1? she was always a basketball/hockey fan. hmmm…
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liked by ynsgirl, oscarstan1 and 1,727,828 others
ham1ltonshaderoom: after oscar piastri’s maiden f1 win, he was spotted in london with none other than pop’s golden girl, yn yln. they were then posted on a friend’s instagram story, which was then quickly deleted. she was reportedly also seen leaving his celebratory afterparty.
what do you think about the unlikely couple, ham1ltons?
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user1: no.
-> user2: no.
-> user3: no.
-> user4: no.
-> user5: FUCK no!
user6: no way in hell she’s dating him bffr. she has a type and oscar isn’t it.
-> user7: oscar wishes. wouldn’t be surprised if he faked these and paid ham1lton to post it.
user8: i love oscar and yn but separately.
user9: it makes sense a little though. i’m serious.
-> user10: most unserious comment ever.
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liked by yourusername, oscarstan2 and 3,827,882 others.
oscarpiastri: i can’t lose when i’m with you.
tagged: yourusername
view all 728,828 comments
user1: oh they frfr 😟
user2: this is so sweet!!! no wonder she was releasing happier love songs recently.
user3: dating the prettiest girl ever, being a formula one race winner, a future wdc, and you’re not even UGLY??? why did god humble me this is sick.
-> user4: exactly 😭 like yn give us some time!! we’ll get there.
-> oscarpiastri: want some tips?
-> user5: U RSICK MYGOD
landonorris: the grapevine was right. oh.
logansargeant: happy for you both!! and ty yn for giving me the signed vinyl for my cousin!! she loved it 😻
user13: USING HER LYRICS AS THE CAPTION MY GOD
-> user14: SNOOZE IS ABOUT OSCAR????
-> user15: oscar is a bad bitch my god. getting one of the biggest songs written about him.
-> oscarpiastri: 1:21 — sideways by jt 😉
-> user16: OSCAR HELLO?2&/9/9/)
-> user17: MCLARENS PR WHERE ARE YOU?
-> mclaren: too busy streaming ctrl by yn 🎧
user6: i don’t believe it. why would she date him?
-> oscarpiastri: and what’s the alternative? dating you?
-> user7: OOP! 😹
user8: yn doesn’t deserve oscar.
*user blocked by oscarpiastri.*
yourusername: i love you 👩🏽❤️💋👨🏻
-> oscarpiastri: i love you so much more actually 💕
user9: CUTEST COUPLE EVER OMGGGG
user10: this is the year of athlete x singer relationships
-> user11: gonna start singing lessons immediately. JUDE BELLINGHAM WAIT FOR ME!!!
-> user12: i can hit a note on occasion landonorris 😏
-> landonorris: just checked your profile, you sound like a screeching cat. absolutely awful.
-> landonorris: i want you 😍
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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @lavisenri @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong (oscar specific tags will be in the comments)
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#jayde’s works ☆#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#formula one x black reader#formula one smau#formula one texts#formula 1 x you#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x black reader#op81 x you#op81 smau#op81 x y/n#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#oscar piastri imagine#formula one imagine#f1 texts
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Nicky's Rio son too.
I feel there were so many lines that imply this and the finale is starting to make more sense - especially because the dandelion in the trial!
Jen explains that Green Craft™ is about the cycle of all living things - growth and decay in constant flow. So it's not just about dying but being born too.
So it would track that Rio's love for Agatha was so strong that it actually created life - Nicky. However, there would be consequences to this because proper balance had to be maintained somehow. Rio probably even warned Agatha about it, but Agatha always believes she is above the rules so in her head she probably thought she had every right to Nicky (maybe even her "prize" that she alludes to in their final confrontation). This would really add to Rio's hurt - Nicky was her son too. She thought she was giving Agatha a gift of life, but instead Agatha sees her as this cruel "evil" that "gave her nothing". To her Rio is the one who just "took."
It feels like it is also implied by Rio at the start of the episode when she says "This walk with another woman's son on a road that doesn't...". She could be referring to Nicky being her son.
But I think Agatha finally accepts her truth during the final trial when she sees the dandelion seed in her cameo. She even says "Out of Death - life" as she grows it because she finally understands the literal implications of that phrase.
That Dandelion is representation of Nicky. And sure enough, as soon as the flower grows and blossoms, it quickly enters the final stage - when it turns into the seeds that can be scattered by the wind again and continue the cycle of life. Because guess what, "dandelions produce seeds asexually by apomixis, where the seeds are produced without pollination, resulting in offspring that are genetically identical to the parent plant".
When Nicky is born, we could probably assume it was indeed asexual reproduction - Agatha says she didn't use a spell or incantation, but instead he was made from scratch (obviously a clever nod to his name). On one hand it could be read like Agatha is astonished how something this magical could happen without actually using any witchcraft. However, this also feels like a suggestion that maybe she is just amazed at how he could possibly exist. Kathryn Hahn in her recent interview alluded to how the witches didn't need men, babies were just born. So it was Rio's "dandelion seed" that made it happen.
It is the second characteristic of dandelion species is what seals the deal for me - "the offspring being genetically identical to the parent plant". Nicky as the offspring of Death needs bodies to survive in this realm. During his birth Rio says she can offer only time, because she can maintain the balance, as long as Nicky gets his bodies.
That's why she hates Rio and calls her evil - not because of Rio herself, but because of what her "genetics" did to Nicky. Agatha would rather have people believe that she is this evil witch killer that traded her child for the Darkhold, than anyone to know the awful truth that it was Nicky who was the cause of the killings.
In the flashbacks, there are those remarks about how they haven't "eaten for days" and that whenever Nicky was poorly he said he was hungry. Agatha said she couldn't create the food for him (and protect him from what's coming). She could've cooked that goat they had with them if they were really that hungry (btw, I still believe that goat is Senor Scratchy), but that wasn't the "food" that Nicky meant.
And just like Billy, Rio couldn't just take Nicky. He had to "turn himself in". It was his choice not to kill any more witches. On the day Nicky dies, he says "My mother needs me home". I think he is talking about Rio here, since he usually calls Agatha "Mama". This is the moment the decides for himself and goes home to Death.
I feel like this opens the possibility that we will indeed see Nicholas Scratch in the future (and have a role similar to the one in the comics). That maybe even he might not have "died" because he is an offspring of death, so he just exists in some Underworld realm, where he no longer needs bodies to survive. Maybe Agatha might have hoped that by killing more and more witches, she will bring Nicky back to life/this realm?
And the Ballad really was a protection spell she made for him too?
This would also be a more plausible explanation why Agatha went to kiss Rio when Billy asked "Is this how Nicky died?". I feel this was more of an apology to Rio for hating her for Nicky's treatment, because she finally understood why she had to do it?
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#rio vidal#agathario#nicholas scratch#green witch#lady death#mcu fandom#mcu#marvel mcu#marvel
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Random things in Blue Lock I find endearing:
-> Barou looking after Nagi
This was cute, you know. I mean, Barou was the one who first scolded Nagi for swimming in that bathtub, but he is also the one taking care of him—you getting me? It's a small thing, I know, but it's really cute!
-> Rin accepting Hiori's help
With the way Rin was shown till that point, I was actually scared for Hiori because I thought Rin was going to shook off Hiori by saying, "Fuck off!" Like, it just seems very plausible for his character, but then he surprised me!
Just look at him allowing Hiori to help him up by his arms! I understand that many will think that I've gone crazy, but this is one of those things where if you know, you know.
–> Barou throwing Nagi
I snorted at this panel. Like, before this panel, we can see that Isagi literally has his hand around Barou's nape, but no, Barou has to throw Nagi only, it got to be Nagi—if that doesn't sum up their relation, I don't know what will.
–> IGA-DA-GOAT-GURI and Goatmaru
When Isagi's name was suddenly called and he got startled which cracked them up. I just absolutely loved the above panel—so adorbs‼️
-> Sae being Sae
I really haven't seen anyone talk about what he said above—even I seemed to have overlooked his words. It seems so bittersweet that when Sae gave validation to Isagi, he mentioned Rin too like, "He saw through your instincts too." Almost as if it were some kind of necessary requirement for someone to shine in his eyes.
Like, in simple words, "You looked through my little brother's instinct too? Now that's some good shit!"
It's kinda a subtle way of Sae giving Rin validation too like, "He is a solid player! How I know? Oh because he saw through your gameplay."
Sweet.
-> Ubers
Lorenzo especially. Like, just look at him! I don't need to say anything more!
-> Silly Boy
I wanna squeeze his face!!!! AAAAAA!!
And he is supposed to be the ace of the national team???? Like, look at that face, I will never be intimidated by such a cutie patootie. He deserves so many smooches!
-> Little Brother
Aww. Just, awwwwwwww.
Head pats is my own love language too, so seeing this made me melt, and to be honest, Niko is Blue Lock's little brother! It just makes sense to think like that.
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.
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Part: 2, 3, 4.
#blue lock#bllk#barou shouei#nagi seishiro#itoshi rin#hiori yo#igarashi gurimu#gagamaru gin#itoshi sae#don lorenzo#sendou shuto#mikage reo#niko ikki#雪 ranting
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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update
AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.
The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.
Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.
You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.
Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.
Go me!
This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt.
And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.
Not complainin' just sayin'.
This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back.
But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!
Then my computer crawled toward the grave.
My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.
There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.
At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.
Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.
That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.
Welcome to my gigabyte hell.
The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.
All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.
But I was not daunted! Nosirree!
I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!
And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.
At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.
I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.
Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.
That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.
Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.
I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.
Then there was news.
I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news.
It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.
Then I got the official bad news.
Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.
Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work.
I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.
"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.
So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.
Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.
Eff this guy.
Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.
I didn't even know there was such a thing.
There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.
I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.
What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.
Hi Ho.
Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.
I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work.
Just cut it out and get me back to work.
And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.
Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.
The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way.
Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.
I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry.
To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.
I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.
I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.
I have never been more grateful in my life.
Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.
Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.
Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.
Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.
But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.
Then I finally got my surgery.
Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.
My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."
Which was super not fun news.
Eff this guy.
The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.
The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.
By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.
I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.
But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.
All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.
After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.
Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.
Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.
But at least my main hospital is super swank.
The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.
So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.
Nearly tore off my damn nostril.
Eff this guy.
Anyway, it was a bad year.
Here's what went right.
I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings, enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.
Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.
No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.
So, yay.
My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.
I got to ring the bell.
I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.
I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.
After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.
Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.
I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.
It's a miracle.
Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.
The new computer works great.
The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.
I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.
I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.
More time for real life.
While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.
OK. Rough year.
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Back to work on The Book.
And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks.
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Adding to this, one sort of mistranslation was having Goofy say His majesty banished Pete to another dimension--when in the Japanese, version they used a gender neutral pronoun there--since in Birth by Sleep, we learn it was Minnie who banished Pete, not Mickey:
And going along with what you said in the cultural differences thing, here we have Merlin talking about the "Zero District," which normally we would never hear in English (since we start counting with one, whereas in Japan they start with zero).
And speaking of this "Zero District," I think I agree with Blackdrazon, who wrote in his Kingdom Hearts II retrospective that this line shows that in earlier drafts of Kingdom Hearts II, the Radiant Garden stuff was probably supposed to take place in Traverse Town... because there are no districts in Radiant Garden: but there sure are in Traverse Town (in fact, I'm almost certain that Traverse Town's First District is called the Zero District in the Japanese version, which is probably what Merlin is talking about here). This was probably from an earlier version of the script and accidentally stayed in there... Unless Merlin is still just magically going to Traverse Town, even though he shouldn't be able to anymore, lore-wise. Merlin is a powerful wizard, where certain rules of the series don't affect him for that reason, but ehh.
Translation Errors in Kingdom Hearts 2
Translation Errors in Kingdom Hearts 2
Editor Notes: Yet another repost from an old side blog. Enjoy :3
Fun fact. Several parts of Kingdom Hearts 2 were mistranslated by the localization team. These translation errors include a hilarious misspelling of Braig seen above ^
These mistranslations also include cutscenes as seen in probably the most well known error:
This scene threw many for a loop back in the day myself included. However after all the theories were thrown and discussions made it turned out this was an error in localization.
You see here in the original Japanese sub titles:
What Roxas is actually saying here isn’t described by a pronoun such as “he” or “she” or anything gender specific.
Rather what Roxas is asking is more akin to “Why did it pick you?” or most likely “Why were you chosen?”
Roxas of course saying this in relation to the keyblade itself as it was the mystery of why Roxas himself could wield that plauged him at times as we seen in Days or scenes from KH2 of Roxas leaving the Organization.
Roxas was Sora’s nobody and so if he could understand why Sora was chosen then perhaps he could understand why he himself had been.
Cultural Differences
One last thing to point out isn’t so much a translation error as a difference in culture. There weren’t many but some questioned what Ansem the Wise meant when he “wrote report 0″ as seen here.
There’s no real error here but just a difference in culture. You see in Japan they dont start their numerical count at 1 but 0.
SOOOOO ironically this was one thing that was translated accurately but shouldn’t have been since the Ansem reports themselves in Japan start at 0 whereas in our versions of the game they begin at 1.
Basically Ansem the Wise, aka DiZ, was saying he only ever wrote KH1 Ansem’s Report #1 while Xehanort wrote the rest.
Do you have any mistranslations or tidbits you’d like to add? Whether it be KH2 or otherwise dont be shy. :D
#kh#honestly some stuff like this is part of the reason when people are like 'kingdom hearts ii is the GOAT!' i'm like 'no. it's not. it's#really not' there were so many mistakes in this game. more than any other as far as i know#i still like khii. and think it's one of the better games. but is it my favorite? no. and is it HELLA overrated? hell to the yes#though this has nothing to do with translation errors... there's also that very brief moment in khii where they had pence speak with#hayner's voice in the english version: another example i mean by this game having quite a few mistakes#there are just so many flaws in khii that i just really can't overlook now (and this isn't even all of them)#and when people act like khii is the greatest game of all time i genuinely don't get it#i still love it but i feel like people have blinders on with it
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INKTOBER-DAY 7: Love - song inspo: Love Love Love by The Mountain Goats
first of all- @forgettable-au fanart!
second of all. :D i’m bouta get so violent GOD THEY KILL ME SO MUCH okay rant time
THEY WERE JUST KIIIIDSSSUHHH I DEMAND a gacha youtube video made by a 12 year old where younger Sans and Wingdings react to the comics/present day them
Also- I SERIOUSLY doubt theres ever gonna actually be a scene like this in the comics for a lot of reasons BUT IF IT DIIIDDD, DUDES. Id never recover. id be done for. cast away. dead.
The main idea is, HEY! How. Would Gaster feel. About seeing SANS AGAIN. CAUSE I DON’T KNOW.
I DON’T KNOW HOW THINGS ENDED, I ASSUME BADLY- SO I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE VAGUEST IDEA, AND IT HURTS EVERY PART OF MY BRAIN AND SOUL AND HEART AND BRAIN AND
and also if Sans knew that THATS was what his “brother” is now… IS GASTER EVEN CONSIDERED HIS BROTHER ANYMORE?? I FEEL BAD FOR SANS RIGHT NOW HES GOT LIKE 3 BROTHERS AND 2 OF THEM ARE DEAD AND THE OTHER IS DEAD ONLY SOMETIMES AND ALSO THEY’RE ALL KINDA THE SAME PERSON also I miss sans in the comics :((
Theres a lots of ways this interaction could go down, and SO many ways it could be written poorly, SO IM NOT EVEN GONNA TRY TO SCRIPT THAT just go for the good ol 1 frame and let you fill in the blanks with your own angst ridden decrepit minds.
ALSO TOMORROWS PROMPT IS “REINCARNATION” AND I AM SCARED OF WHAT IM GONNA COOK BUT ITLL MOST DEFINITELY BE MORE FANART
okay im sad now, time for an extra silly unfinished comic I made a bit ago after wondering where their parents were
Moms asking for more money to fund her online gambling addiction
also- does Wingdings also have the googley eyes or is that just Papyrus?
#undertale#undertale fanart#forgettable au#forgettable au fanart#undertale au#I hate them so much/aff
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Hello Ghesties, Ghouls & Ghoulettes! Welcome to Angels run-down show-down, where I (Angel) do a run down of the Ghovie for all you lovely folk!!
Didn’t get the chance to see the Ghovie aka Rite Here Rite Now? Fear not for I am here! This post will contain a run-down of what happened during the Ghovie.
So this is your warning:
‼️SPOILERS AHEAD ‼️
I will be breaking this down into separate parts:
Lore: contains all lore that was mentioned
Songs: songs that were played
And Theatrics: stage play and other attributes that happened.
Another fair warning: there is a possibility that not everything that happened in the movie is noted here, I may have forgotten some things!! But I will do my best to include everything🤍
Additional notes: many fans including me were worried that this project would be incredibly low quality due to the fact it’s a movie operated by a band. More so worried that the movie would be the same quality as the YouTube episodes. I can confirm that the camera quality for this movie is amazing. You can compare the filmography to Taylor swifts era tour movie. Each shot for rite here rite now is shot with a high-to-low speed motion camera. The audio quality is above and beyond, even nihils ghost is very detailed and realistic. Every film shot is synchronized with the songs and instruments (example: camera changes for each beat/camera focuses on certain ghouls for their assigned solo)
Lore:
Story: the plot of the ghovie is a showcase of their Kia forum concert mixed with short lore scenes. Between every 2-3 songs there would be a scene of Copia running behind stage and talking with imperator and nihil OR getting dressed and ready for his next performance.
When he talked with imperator and nihil, he mostly talked to them about what would happen after the concert. Nihil and imperator told him numerous times that he was “focusing to much on the past and future instead of living in the moment, living right here, right now.”
Copia realizes this before he does his encore, so he goes out and does a great encore assuming he’ll soon die. After the encore and when the concert is finished, unfortunately imperator dies and gives a note to Copia.
The note states that he will not die, but rather be gifted a new higher status in the clergy. In which he’ll further be known as Frater (Latin for brother, which makes sense if we think about the title for sister imperator). And because there is no head for the ghost project they will bring in a new front man. The movie ends before the front man is revealed and we are left on a cliffhanger.
The lore for the ghovie is very similar and the same to what we already know! Not to much was revealed but here were the key points of what was mentioned:
⭐️the other brothers were not directly mentioned or shown on camera. The only references to the other emeritus brothers was the backdrop for the stage (stained glass windows portraying the previous brothers & nihil)
⭐️it was confirmed that Nihil was copias father and that during the kiss the go-goat music video sister imperator was pregnant with Copia.
⭐️Copia even acknowledges nihil as his dad, in one scene where he says “thanks dad”
⭐️sister imperator ends up passing at the end of the movie but becomes a spirit and is seen with the rest of the spirits (nihil and the twins, yes, the twins seem in the YouTube episodes apparently have died)
⭐️the ghouls were not to involved with the lore except for the fact they all surrounded imperators dead body when she passed. (Idk if this counts as lore but) the ghouls also talked in the movie, only for a small scene though. Bass ghoul (Rain) is the ghoul that talked.
⭐️nihil says that he produced three songs. The third song is the one we see during the credits. Song is : the future is a foreign land, as shown here:
SONGS:
The songs that played were the ones that were played at the Kia forum shows. Songs that where played included:
⚡️imperium (pre - opener)
⚡️Kaisarion (opener/curtain pull) (also if I remember correctly there was a short clip of a harp but I’m not sure if it was being played or not during that song.)
⚡️rats
⚡️faith
⚡️spillways
⚡️Cirice (he ciriced the camera making it look like he Ciriced us)
⚡️Absolution
⚡️ritual
⚡️call me little sunshine
⚡️con clavi con dio
⚡️ watcher in the sky
⚡️ if you have ghosts (acoustic version with two cellos, violin & harp ghoulettes. As well as a background vocalist ghoulette who did absolutely amazing! Also papa gives a speech about how “everyone is important and that their presence at that concert was inspiring”)
⚡️dominion
⚡️ Twenties (body painted skeleton dancers came out and performed on stage, they did cartwheels, threw eachother around and even picked up cardi)
⚡️year zero
⚡️spoksonat
⚡️he is (I cried)
⚡️miasma (nihil told Copia that he didn’t want to die, but even when he did he was still happy because he got to perform and bring joy to people temporarily when they revived him. Nihil also told Copia to focus on the good in life)
⚡️Mary on a cross (animated in a scooby-doo style, where nihil chases around imperator as she fights him and runs away)
⚡️ mummy dust
⚡️respite on the spitalfields (each ghoul/ghoulette got a solo)
⚡️ kiss the go-goat
⚡️dance macabre (skeleton dancers come out for a second time with silk fans)
⚡️square hammer
THEATRICS:
Some silly theatrics that happened include:
💙Copia huffing the gas from a whip-cream can before performing.
💙jumped in a storage transfer crate and had a whole convo with nihil.
💙has a the tour manager (Ashley) come out on stage and change his shoes for him.
💙only Copia can see the spirits of his family, so when he would talk to nihil or imperator, spectators around him would think he’s crazy and talking to himself.
💙many of the behind the scenes crew of the band were included in the movie such as : Ashley(tour manager), and many of the security guards & jesus( you know who lol)
💙remember when everyone was freaking out about the fact there’d be a blowjob reference? Yeah well there was no actual blow job scene, the warning for the blow job was for when Kyle aka Jesus came out and blew away the confetti.
💙there is also a scene at the end in which Copia is flying away from the concert (I guess that’s his preferred way of transportation lol??) he is flying in the hot air balloon we see in the cover for rite here rite now. He flies into space before falling, ouch!
💙during his flight there’s a montage of sister imperator being pregnant with him, during this montage we see twins. Twin babies, twin children. We are unsure if this is a reference to Tobias’s twins or if Copia has a twin.
.
If I forgot to add anything or got info wrong please feel free to leave a comment and I will correct myself as fast as possible!!
Don’t you feel it Angel? I do⚡️
#the band ghost#the band ghost fic#the band ghost fanfiction#the band ghost fanart#rain ghoul#nameless ghoul art#ghovie#aether ghoul#swiss ghost#ghost band#ghost#ghost bc#namelessghoulettes#nameless ghouls x reader#nameless ghouls#papa iv x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#papa terzo#papa emeritus iv#papa emeritus iii#papa copia#cardinal copia x female reader#cardinal copia x reader#cardinal copia#rite here rite now#Spotify
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Astro observations🤍🦢
Not a real astrologer just my observations:)TW🔞
I noticed in 10th house Synastry house person could feel like planet person is shallow if you know them irl or it could be difficult to build a deeper connection w them but if it’s a celeb/far distance person you feel like you know them better than most people 💀 esp if it’s in a water sign notice me jungkook 💜
I’ve noticed people with outer planets in the 1st have shocking resemblance to their ancestors
Capricorn placements don’t get enough recognition for how many hidden gifts/ talented they are. I feel like people forget that they’re half goat/fish so their creativity can go overlooked(wow what a surprise). Wherever Capricorn/ Saturn is in you chart is where your hidden talents are, where you tend to feel shunned from/your biggest obstacles in life, where people try to belittle you because they see your potential. But once you realize your potential and work on it consistently you can become oh so powerful.
6th:their work ethic, natural healers, could be accused of being lazy, having haters at work, animals love them but they could’ve have bad experiences with them in the past, having good health/nice body if you’re persistent
3rd: being discouraged by your peers/teachers/family because of your communication skills, could do really well in later school years and also could be popular, feeling like your pov is never taken into thought, they could have been the child that was the most problematic but also the one that holds the family together like glue
12th: they sometimes could feel like a shadow also could see shadows💀 strong intuition without knowing it, people could spread lies behind ur back, another healer placement, you know other peoples fantasies & secrets bc of insights you get via dreams, your “gifts” could come later in life, having lots of hidden talents/info that you learn about yourself as you get older, definition of old souls
Also I’ve noticed Capricorn placements (esp fems) have strong intuition especially in tough situations they’re definitely the ones you go to for advice
My Capricorn stellium coworker said she basically worked all way till her due date with all her kids😳 but her last one almost came WHILE on the clock😭😭 like you need to rest mamas
Prominent Aries with a sprinkle of Neptune energy LOVE BLUSH and if you don’t please try it out you’d look so good😩and don’t be scared to experiment when it comes to makeup RAMS are meant to be BOLD example
Having a crush on someone you have 11th house synastry especially mars or sun is so hard😭😭😭 it’s so hard to get them to see you as other than a friend 😕 not impossible tho😈
Libra moon masc tend to have heavy karma when it comes to women esp family members, could go either way but most of the time they’re the ones getting hurt by the fem
Have y’all noticed some older Scorpio suns still dress like they’re in 2013? Which isn’t surprising since that was around the time millennials (Scorpio Pluto gen) were thriving
Saturn in 4th, I’ve noticed that they’ve had to deal with restrictions at a young age either it be emotional or material especially when it comes to food I now people with this placement that were fatshamed by their family members
Sun in 12/6 could have absent fathers in different ways
6th:he could be incarcerated, a workaholic, could’ve been ill, could be in the army
12th: also could be incarcerated, you probably don’t know who your father is or never met him, he could have passed, could be obsessed with finding him/absolutely no interest at all, could have a dr*ug addiction
Sorry not sorry but Saturn in the 5th natals are so boring😴true definition of squares have some fun once and awhile they’re all work no play
A pair I love to see is Virgo with Aquarius/Capricorn it’s either VERY toxic or they have cutest relationship ever😭
Venus In 10th synastry, they could see each other as the best looking partner that they’ve ever had
I noticed I tend to have 3rd/4th house synastry with my pets, but the ones I have to give away have planets in my outer house
That’s all for now don’t forget to like and follow🩶
#astro observations#follow for more#capricorn#astro#astro notes#astrology transits#asteroid astrology#ask me anything#celebrity astrology#hi#composite#composite chart#synastry#synastry chart#cap#Aries#Taurus#sextrology#likeforlikes#like#but like#health#astrology#vedic astrology
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Series Synopsis: A series of (mostly) unrelated one shots, featuring Oliver Aiku somehow getting involved with the love lives of various Blue Lock characters — whether he wants to or not.
Chapter Synopsis: After being yelled at one too many times by their strict Ubers teammate, Oliver Aiku enlists Ikki Niko in helping him get Shoei Barou a girlfriend, hoping beyond hope that that’s enough to get the guy to chill out a bit.
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Barou x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 10.8k
Content Warnings: crack fic, barou is also my awkward goat, love at first sight, oliver aiku is such a bitch but he’s funny so it’s kind of okay, reader is kind of an npc in this icl 😓, this is really dumb please don’t judge my writing off of it, everyone is 100% ooc don’t come at me i KNOWWW, split perspectives (it makes sense in the story), everyone gets slandered (mostly by aiku), god bless niko for being chronically online
A/N: there were a decent amt of people who wanted barou’s version plus i felt like writing it so he’s up next!! LMAO it kind of got a bit long just like the sae version and somehow it’s even sillier so…but yeah anyways this is the second entry in “oliver aiku’s guide to getting girls” i hope you all stick around for the rest 🤩‼️
Barou is yelling at them again. Aiku’s not sure what the big deal is this time — so what if Lorenzo spilled spaghetti sauce on the floor? He’s Italian, that’s part of his culture — but if he dares to speak up, Barou will single him out specifically, and then he’ll be treated like a little kid in timeout, which doesn’t sound like an ideal way to spend a Friday night.
It’s the four of them in the doghouse as usual — himself, Niko, Aryu, and Sendou, that is. The most ridiculous thing is that Lorenzo isn’t even there, though he’s the true target of Barou’s rage; unfortunately for his teammates, though, Lorenzo’s off getting his teeth polished or counting his money while cackling or whatever else it is that he does in his free time.
Honestly, none of them are really taking the theatrics seriously. Aryu’s fiddling with the ends of his hair, Niko’s standing there, staring at Barou with large, watery eyes, and Sendou’s glaring back at Barou with his arms folded over his chest. Aiku sighs, because that means an argument between the two is most likely impending, but unfortunately for him, he sighs a bit too loudly, and Barou whips around, jabbing a finger at him.
“What’s so exasperating, huh?” Barou says. “I bet you won’t be sighing when we have an insect infestation because none of you can be bothered to clean up that damn tomato shit that Lorenzo’s obsessed with!”
“It’s marinara,” Niko pipes up meekly. They all look at him with varying degrees of incredulity; he shrugs, adjusting the headphones around his neck self-consciously. “Lorenzo’s trying to teach me how to make it. Supposedly a typical spaghetti sauce has meat and vegetables added, but a good marinara is the base, so — um, anyways.”
Barou’s upper lip is curled into a sneer, and Aiku’s just about to thank Niko for taking the fall and turning Barou’s rage to him when he remembers that that’s markedly not how Barou operates. He’s too meticulous to forget the former recipient of his ire, not so quickly, and indeed, Barou is pointing at them both when he speaks next.
“That stain better be gone the next time I come in this room,” he says. He doesn’t say what will happen if it’s not, but given his authoritative voice and enormous physique, he usually doesn’t have to resort to making threats in order to be obeyed.
“Thank goodness,” Aryu says once Barou has left to complete his evening meditations. “Seems like Barou appreciated our elegant silence, Sendou. We’ve escaped reproach this time.”
“Yup,” Sendou says. Whistling nonchalantly, he sidles out of the room, and with a fluttering wave, Aryu follows suit. Aiku can’t even blame them, considering it’s what he would’ve done if he were in their place.
Glancing at Niko, who is now his greatest friend due to convenience alone, Aiku shakes his head, wondering what choice he made in life that led to his weekend plans amounting to cleaning sauce stains from a carpet with a little boy instead of partying or something.
“You got the bleach?” he asks. Niko nods miserably.
“Yeah, I got it. You’re good with scrubbing?” he says. Aiku’s shoulders cramp preemptively at the mere thought, but he doesn’t protest aloud.
“No other choice, right?” he says. “Off to work we go, then.”
Your best friend has been begging you for days to try this new restaurant with her, and it’s only now that it’s Friday that you can’t come up with any more excuses to avoid it. The truth is that you don’t really have a reason to refuse her as many times as you have, but the thought of summoning up the wherewithal to get ready and go out for dinner instead of throwing on your pajamas and eating something on the couch with a movie in the background is excruciating. Besides, you know her tastes. She always takes you to insanely fancy locations where anything less than your best will be embarrassing, and the only saving grace is that your outings always end up being insanely cheap, as she refuses to spend more than the bare minimum no matter what.
“You’re serious?” she affirms, standing in front of your closet and sifting through your clothes. You’re sitting on your bed, legs crossed and your laptop on your lap as you try to finish up the essay you have due Monday before getting ready. “You’ll really go with me?”
“I just told you I would, didn’t I?” you say. “I wouldn’t let you go through my closet if I wasn’t being serious. Actually, I wouldn’t have let you into my house at all.”
“Your parents would’ve opened the door for me,” she says dismissively. “They love me.”
It’s true, they do love her as much if not more than they love you, so you have no rebuttal. She grins at you, tossing a shirt in your general direction. It hits the back of your laptop, landing in a heap on the floor, and you’re too busy to pick it up, so you just leave it there, too lost in thought to care. Just the conclusion, if I can finish that then I can do something fun without anything on my mind—
“Hurry up and get ready! We want to get a table, don’t we?” she says. It’s a pair of pants she flings your way this time, and her aim is far more superior, for they smack into your face, temporarily blinding you.
“If you don’t let me finish this essay, I won’t go with you,” you say, and she knows you mean it literally, so she immediately pretends to zip her lips, saluting at you.
“Finish away!”
“Barou’s totally got a stick up his ass, don’t you think?” Aiku says after thirty minutes have passed and the stain is no smaller than before.
“I don’t think I’d phrase it like that,” Niko says, pouring another cup of bleach on the carpet. Neither of them really know much about cleaning, so this is the best they’ve got, even though Aiku’s pretty sure Barou would pass out if he saw their method. “But yeah, he can be kind of uptight at times.”
“He’s pretty nice otherwise, though,” Aiku says thoughtfully. “It’s kind of a shame. I bet if he loosened up a bit, he’d be a downright enjoyable teammate. Besides the cleaning and all, he’s a cool guy.”
“I do like training with him,” Niko says. “When he’s not yelling at us, it’s fun. Following his regimen has made me a lot stronger.”
“Agreed,” Aiku says. That’s the one thing he’ll give Barou — the guy is a master with the training equipment. He’s introduced Aiku to machines he didn’t even know existed. “You know what he needs?”
“What?” Niko says. He’s scrubbing at the floor while Aiku’s sipping on a soda; theoretically, they’re supposed to be switching off, but Niko hasn’t complained yet, so Aiku’s not about to remind him that it’s well beyond time for his turn.
“Some pu—” Aiku cuts himself off when he remembers that he is talking to a child. Niko’s like twelve or something, so maybe phrasing it in that way isn’t the most appropriate thing to do. “—I mean, a beautiful and loving girlfriend.”
Niko tilts his chin up at him, which means he’s probably looking at him; it’s hard to tell with his overgrown bangs falling in his face. Aiku makes a mental note to suggest cutting Niko’s hair during the next team bonding night that Snuffy forces them into.
“I guess having someone like that would make anyone happier, even Barou,” he says.
“That’s what I’m getting at! I bet he’s just constantly stressed out, so he takes it out on us instead of finding a healthy outlet. Maybe dating someone will fix that and give him something to do besides soccer,” Aiku says.
“Is that your secret to always being so calm?” Niko says. Aiku nods.
“The more girls you have, the less you can worry about things like training. You’re too focused on making sure they’re all happy,” Aiku says.
“Woah,” Niko says. “That’s a really great way of looking at things.”
“Right?” Aiku says. “With Barou, though, we might be lucky if we can find even one girl willing to put up with him. He’s a bit of a work in progress, you know?”
“Totally,” Niko says. “What if he yells at her the way he yells at us?”
Aiku has a vision of some poor, innocent girl on the verge of tears as Barou rants about how she didn’t fold her laundry the right way or something. For some reason, she looks kind of like Niko — oh, that’s probably because Barou just yelled at Niko for that exact reason — but the image is enough for him to balk.
“She can come to us for comfort,” Aiku says decisively before once again remembering that Niko probably only popped out of the womb a scant few months prior. He needs to be more careful — this isn’t Sendou, who would’ve made at least ten innuendos even worse than his own by this point. “I mean, me.”
“That’s a good plan,” Niko says. “You’re really good with the whole advising and comforting thing. I bet you’d make her feel better for sure.”
Yeah, I’d make her feel better alright. This time Aiku manages to keep it to himself, only coughing slightly and nodding towards the bottle of bleach as an explanation.
“The only question is where in Blue Lock are we going to find a girl, let alone one willing to date Barou?” Aiku says.
“Well, Bastard München is playing PXG this weekend, and Manshine City is playing Barcha, so we’re technically off,” Niko says. “I think if we ask Snuffy, we can probably have a day out.”
“What if Ego gets mad?” Aiku says, although the idea is sound enough that he’s just jealous he didn’t come up with it himself. Niko hums, giving careful consideration to the notion.
“We can just blame it on Snuffy. What’s Ego going to do, fire him?” he says.
A grin breaks out on Aiku’s face.
“Niko, kiddo—”
“I’m fifteen.”
“—you’re totally a genius. Let’s go!”
“What about the stain?” Niko says. Aiku glances at the still marinara-colored splotch on the carpet, and then he waves it off dismissively.
“If we can find Snuffy before Barou gets back, then it’s no longer our problem,” he says.
Niko looks unconvinced, but he’s sensible as well as genius-material, so he only follows after Aiku — albeit not without a final worried glance at the section of carpet which still smells suspiciously of tomatoes.
“So what cuisine does this place have, anyways?” you say. You’ve finally finished and submitted your essay, and now you’re taking a shower. Your best friend has closed the lid of the toilet and is sitting on it while playing on her phone, apparently because she wants to be able to talk to you even while you’re showering, and since you have a curtain you don’t mind.
“No idea,” she says.
“No idea?” you say, squeezing shampoo into your palm. “Why do you want to go, then?”
“My dad’s Facebook friends have been raving about it,” she says. “His ex-boss said that it’s the best value-for-money in the entire city!”
“We’re going to dinner based on recommendations from your dad’s Facebook friends,” you repeat dryly. “Wow.”
“Look, he may have chronically underpaid my dad, but the ex-boss has great taste in food!” your best friend defends. “Apparently they fill up super fast, though, so we have to get there right when they open for dinner, or else we’re out of luck.”
“Is this you subtly trying to pressure me to shower faster?” you say.
“It’s not subtle,” she says. You scoff.
“I hope you know I’ll take even longer now,” you say.
“You better not!”
Snuffy is obviously confused when the two of them approach him — Aiku’s not sure if it’s the question that has their coach confounded, though, or if it’s the admittedly odd combination that’s approached him.
“You guys want a night out of the facility?” Snuffy checks.
“Yes,” Aiku says.
“And…you want Barou to come?” Snuffy says. That could be another reason for the incredulity — ‘Barou’ and ‘fun’ are two words rarely if ever seen in the same sentence, unless your name is Yoichi Isagi, in which case just being on the same field as Barou is your idea of ‘fun.’ For normal people — i.e. those with names such as Oliver Aiku and Ikki Niko — those concepts don’t generally align, however, so Aiku can’t blame Snuffy for the weird face he’s making.
“Yes,” Niko says.
Snuffy stares at them for a moment longer, and then, to make things even stranger, he chuckles in a way that’s almost fond.
“It’ll be good for him to get out of here for a bit,” he says. “You two are great teammates for thinking of him; I’m sure he’ll appreciate it one day, if not necessarily tonight. Go on, then, and have fun if you’d like.”
Aiku waits for the other shoe to drop, but Snuffy just returns to making a cup of coffee. It’s a little odd, given the later hour, but still, Aiku’s not one to count his blessings, so he motions for Niko to follow him, and with Snuffy’s official permission, the two of them march towards where Barou is probably doing his daily “fuck Yoichi Isagi” affirmations. They have that kind of weird relationship, after all. It’s unnecessarily complicated, but Aiku has observed during his time in Blue Lock that almost every single relationship between the members of the program follows such a mold. He’s given up on trying to figure any of it out, knowing it’s well beyond him.
“Are you ready?” Aiku says when they reached the closed door to the training room. Niko rolls his shoulders.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Niko says. Aiku decides he likes him, and that he should try to spend more time with the pipsqueak. Maybe he can be a mentor figure or a true role model for the younger player. He’d definitely do better at the job than, say, Aryu. Or Lorenzo, which is a more relevant concern, since apparently the two are cooking buddies, as per Niko’s marinara interlude during Barou’s earlier tantrum.
With a grim nod at Niko, Aiku swings open the door. Schooling his expression into a cheery grin, he calls out in a sing-song that really doesn’t spell anything but trouble:
“Oh, Barou!”
You’ve made your best friend drive, since she’s the one who’s insisted on taking you out, which leaves you to play music and accomplish other such passenger-esque duties. You take full advantage of your freedom to be distracted, shuffling through playlists whenever you’re bored and scrolling through your best friend’s crush-of-the-week’s social media.
“He’s kind of ugly,” you say. She clicks her tongue.
“In a cute way, though, right?” she says. When you’re silent, she gasps. “Right?”
“Uh…” you trail off, zooming in on one of the photos. Something about him is reminiscent of a gerbil, and you can tell he’s short even before you swipe and see him in a photo with one of his friends, barely coming up to his shoulder. “There’s someone out there for everyone, I suppose.”
“That means you think he’s repulsive!” she accuses you.
“Repulsive’s a strong word,” you say.
“Hideous?” she says.
“I can get behind that,” you say. “He reminds me of Tinkerbell.”
“Like the fairy, or our third grade teacher’s gerbil?” she says.
“The latter,” you say. “I’m glad you remembered her. That wouldn’t have been as funny if you didn’t.”
“I didn’t find it funny regardless,” she says, pulling into the parking lot and slowing the car to a crawl as she hunts for a space to pull in.
“Hm,” you say. “I did.”
“You know what? You’re not allowed to slander him until you find someone better for yourself. Girls in glass houses should not be throwing stones, and considering some of your exes, you’re in no position to talk,” she says.
“Low blow,” you say.
“No response? That’s what I thought,” she says. You scowl.
“Just park the car, you dumbass.
“What the hell is going on?” Barou says, for probably the third or fourth time. Unfortunately, their attempt at kidnapping him didn’t go as planned, for neither Aiku nor Niko could lift Barou for any length of time, so now they were stuck with a supremely irritated striker following after them as they marched towards where the Blue Lock official parking was.
Snuffy had given them the keys to his car, so at least they had a ride — if he weren’t such a good coach, Aiku would seriously question the man’s judgment. Niko ushers Barou into the backseat, claiming he already “called shotgun,” and then he dives into the passenger seat beside Aiku, fastening his seatbelt with a serious expression on his delicate face.
“We wanted to have a fun night out!” Aiku says, turning the child lock on so Barou can’t escape before reversing out of the garage.
“Huh?” Barou says. “There’s so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t even know where to begin. Also, why are we in Snuffy’s car?”
“He gave us the keys,” Niko says, like it’s obvious. In all fairness, it kind of is.
“He gave you two the keys,” Barou says. Aiku’s a responsible driver, so he doesn’t glance back at Barou, but he’s pretty sure that if he did, he’d be met with the kind of fearsome glare that made medieval-era peasants believe in the existence of creatures like trolls and dragons.
“Yes, he did,” Aiku says. “Told us to enjoy ourselves while we were at it.”
Barou sighs. “Say I believe that—”
“We’re telling the truth!” Aiku says.
“—uh-huh, sure. Anyways, where are we even going?” he says.
“Oh, I can answer that!” Niko says. “It’s this restaurant that my dad’s obsessed with. He’s been posting all over his Facebook about it. According to him, it’s the best value-for-money in the entire city.”
“At least you two are being frugal,” Barou says with a small ‘hmph.’ “How far is it?”
“Not too far,” Niko says.
“Just sit back and relax, man! It’s a couple of friends going out for a meal. Totally normal!” Aiku says.
“Friends don’t kidnap one another to hang out,” Barou says.
“We didn’t kidnap you. Are you saying we’re friends, then?” Aiku says.
“I’m saying we’re not. You turned the child lock on, so that basically constitutes an abduction,” Barou says.
“I did that for Niko!” Aiku says, mentally patting himself on the back for the quick thinking.
“What? I’m fifteen, not five!”
By the time your best friend finds somewhere to park, it’s already dark, and the spot is at the very edge of the lot, so then the two of you have to walk for another five minutes. She’s antsy by this point, but she does an admirable job of hiding it, only picking at her nails behind her back where she thinks you won’t see.
“It’ll be alright,” you say as you reach the door to the restaurant. “I’m sure they’ll have space for two people, at least. Nowhere can be that busy, right?”
“I hope so,” she says, chewing on her lower lip.
You’re proven wrong almost as soon as you both walk into the establishment. Every single table has people sitting at it, and there’s a small crowd of people in the waiting area. Still, you and your best friend push past to where the hostess is standing.
“Excuse me,” you say. “How long is the wait?”
“At least an hour,” the hostess says, her face wan.
“An hour?” your best friend says. “There’s nothing you can do?”
Of course, both of you know there isn’t, but it’s still disappointing when the hostess shakes her head regretfully.
“Would you like me to put your names down?” she says.
“Give us a minute,” you say. She nods, and you and your best friend walk a ways away. As soon as you’re out of the hostess’s earshot, you frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would genuinely be this busy.”
“It’s okay, I wasn’t expecting it either,” she says, exhaling heavily. “I would’ve been way more serious about being on time if I had.”
“What should we do now? I don’t mind waiting,” you say.
“It’s okay. I’m a little hungry, so we can go somewhere else and come back here another day,” she says.
“Are you sure?” you say.
“Yeah, I am. Let’s go,” she says.
You’re heading towards the door when a robust voice stops you. At first, neither of you are sure if the speaker is referring to you, but when it becomes obvious he is, you turn around in confusion.
“Where are you guys going?” he says. It’s a man with dark hair and eyes like mismatched marbles, and he’s sitting at a table with two others. There’s a couple of empty seats, and he motions towards them. “We’ve been waiting for you two for forever!”
“Oh, you’re in their party?” the hostess says. You glance at your best friend, who mouths why not? at you, and then you smile at the hostess.
“Yes, we are,” you say.
“You should’ve said so from the start,” she says, shaking her head. “Right this way, please.”
You and your best friend follow after her, both of you more than a little lost at the turn of events, but who are you to turn down the offer? Sure, you don’t know any of the three, but at least this way you two didn’t drive out for no reason, and the restaurant’s crowded enough that if they have nefarious intentions, you should be able to get help relatively quickly.
As you sit down and the hostess offers you menus, you can’t help but glance at the three boys, wondering what exactly it is they want from you. Is this some elaborate scam? An effort to get you to pay for their dinner? You can’t tell. They’re unreadable, and all you can do is hope that the meal still goes as well as you had originally planned — otherwise, you’ll be really mad that you’re not at home instead.
When Niko had first suggested calling ahead to make reservations, Aiku had privately considered him to be a nerd, and one of the idiotic variety, no less. A lethal combo. But outwardly he had nodded along and told him to go right ahead, mostly because it seemed like the kind of thing Barou would appreciate. Now, though, he’s glad that Niko had that kind of foresight, because the place is completely packed.
“Where’s the rest of your party?” the hostess says when they walk in and give her Barou’s name. Aiku doesn’t really know why Niko made reservations under Barou’s name, nor what the hostess means by the ‘rest of their party’, but she’s pretty, so he gives her a charming smile. She’s working now, so he can’t exactly push Barou towards her, but if he’s talking about himself…
She blushes and ducks her head, although the moment is ruined by Niko speaking up.
“What do you mean, the rest of our party?” he says.
“You made a reservation for five, didn’t you?” she says, leading them to the table. Aiku exchanges looks with Barou, mostly because the two of them tower over the others, so it’s convenient, but Barou seems as confused as Aiku is. Both of them clearly heard Niko making the reservation for only three people, so how in the world had the hostess written down five?
“Uh,” Niko says, and then for some reason he’s turning towards Aiku for help? Aiku’s kind of distracted, though, both with celebrating the moment he just had with Barou and with discerning the color of lipstick the hostess is wearing (red or pink?), so when she directs her question to him, he admittedly panics a bit.
“Will the rest of them be arriving later?” she says.
“Yes,” Aiku says. Coral! That’s the shade he was looking for.
“No worries,” the hostess says. “Although you might want to tell them to hurry up, just in case.”
“Wait, what—?” Aiku begins, but she’s already dropping menus in front of them and racing off to take care of the next group of customers.
“You fucking donkey,” Barou said. “Who else is coming to this?”
“Nobody that I know of,” Niko says. “I only made a reservation for three. She must’ve gotten confused and written down five or something like that, but why’d you go along with it, Aiku?”
“Um,” Aiku says.
“What unparalleled eloquence,” Barou says.
Aiku’s mind is racing. Firstly, he’s accidentally confused this poor hostess into expecting two more people, and secondly, how are he and Niko supposed to set Barou up with a girl in this kind of situation? The food may be great, but the ambiance isn’t exactly what they’re looking for.
Somehow, these two lines of thought get muddled into one solution, the catalyst of which is when he sees two girls heading towards the door, obviously disheartened by the long wait time for those idiots who didn’t make reservations.
Wait. If those two are girls, and two plus three is five, then Barou might just end this night no longer single!
Another quick recovery by Oliver Aiku. He’s getting better and better by the minute.
“Hi,” the man who called you over says. “I’m Oliver Aiku.”
“Hi,” you say. The five-person table is a circle, and Aiku’s across from you; since it’s your fault that you’re sitting with these random guys instead of by yourselves, you squeeze between your best friend and the more intimidating-looking one, leaving her to be on the right side of the youngest boy in the group. “Y/N L/N.”
“Nice to meet you,” he says.
“Likewise,” you say.
“I’m Niko,” the younger boy says. He has dark hair falling into a heart-shaped face, and you can’t fully see his eyes, but you think they might be some shade of bluish green. Idly, you wonder how his vision isn’t horrible given how overgrown his bangs are, but he doesn’t seem to be having any problems, so you suppose he must have some kind of method around it. “And that’s Barou.”
“I can introduce myself,” the one at your side snaps. He’s by far the most handsome of the trio, although you’re sure your best friend would disagree — she has bad taste, though, so that’s irrelevant — with a regal face and sharp eyes. His dark hair is spiky and his eyes are a vivid crimson, narrowed with irritation while his mouth tugs into a perfect frown. “My name is Barou.”
“It’s a pleasure, Barou,” you say.
“Yeah,” he says. “Same here.”
More than being a pleasure, it’s a little tense, so you return to reading your menu, not knowing what else to say, hoping someone else says something soon and rescues you from the ensuing silence.
This is bad. Almost as bad as Japan’s performance in the last U-20 World Cup, which occurred right before Aiku moved up and joined the team. Almost as bad as that stain Lorenzo’s marinara left on the carpet. It’s that level of catastrophic, because clearly, Barou will take a lot more encouragement than originally anticipated. Kicking Niko under the table, Aiku nods meaningfully at Barou, who is also reading his menu, sitting next to the girl who’s doing the same.
It’s the perfect opportunity for small talk. Occasionally, the girl will peek at him over the top of his menu, so she’s clearly not affronted by him — either that, or she’s deathly afraid that Barou will kill her and is making sure he doesn’t do that when she’s distracted. If the latter is the case, well, it’s not entirely unfounded.
Solving the conundrum which has presented itself is even more difficult than their game against PXG was. How is Aiku supposed to flirt with someone for Barou? She’ll just end up liking him, which is rather counterintuitive, given that the end goal is to get Barou a girlfriend.
If only Barou weren’t so stubborn! Aiku’s put him in the perfect spot, but instead of just reaching out his hand and snatching the opportunity up with both metaphorical hands, he’s sitting there, utterly absorbed by the intricacies of the restaurant’s entrees, which Aiku surmises are no doubt fascinating to people with such sensibilities.
It’s the girl, Y/N, who breaks the silence again. Clearing her throat and setting the menu aside, her eyes dart around the table before settling on Aiku. A natural consequence, given his dashing looks and genial personality, but not the one they’re hoping for at the moment, not in the slightest.
“We don’t know you, right?” she says.
“I don’t think so,” Aiku says. Has he gone out with her before? He’s pretty sure he’d have remembered if he had, but you can never be careful these days.
“Then why’d you invite us to sit with you?” she says.
Aiku’s in desperate need of an assist, and there’s only one person who’ll reliably send him one. Besides, the kid owes him a favor, so he doesn’t even feel guilty when he makes a face at Niko, as if indicating that he should be the one to answer the query.
“It was Barou’s idea!” Niko says.
“Excuse me?” Barou says.
“What?” Aiku says.
“Yeah, it was. He felt bad that you guys were going to leave without eating, and we accidentally booked a table for five instead of three, like we originally planned, so he told Aiku to stop you guys before you were gone,” Niko explains.
“Oh, that was very sweet of you!” Y/N says. “Thank you so much. We both really appreciate it.”
Under the table, Aiku gives Niko a thumbs-up. Niko returns the gesture in kind, though neither of them let their true emotions show on their faces, which must be carefully schooled into blankness so that nobody else catches on to their scheming.
“You’re welcome,” Barou says before freezing as he realizes that he’s somehow fallen for Niko’s lie, despite being there to witness the truth of the events. “Wait, no, it wasn’t—”
“Barou’s super considerate,” Niko continues, cutting Barou’s correction off. Aiku could just about cry. Niko’s a natural-born talent! He could never have predicted the younger boy’s sheer skill at this kind of thing. “Do you watch soccer?”
“Not really,” Y/N says thoughtfully. “I’ve never understood it well enough to become an avid fan, and my father prefers baseball, so it’s not something my family is into. I think it’s really cool, though!”
“Barou plays,” Niko says.
“So do you guys,” Barou says.
“Yeah, but you’re sitting next to her,” Niko says. “And you’re the king, right? Who better than you to explain the sport?”
“She didn’t ask for that,” Barou says, glowering at Niko and Aiku alike. “Why would I do that?”
“I don’t mind,” Y/N says, even going so far as to smile at Barou. With a final suspicious glare at the two of them, Barou begins to explain the rules of the game to her, and Aiku takes advantage of his distraction to high-five Niko.
“You’re amazing,” he whispers. “Where’d you learn this shit?”
“I watch a lot of anime,” Niko whispers back. “This is a classic set up for a twelve-episode romance that teaches the viewers about friendship, love, and what it means to grow up.”
“That’s not what I was expecting,” Aiku says after digesting this latest revelation, finding that it makes a surprising amount of sense. “But hey, whatever works!”
“Exactly,” Niko says. “Do you think it’s weird if I order chicken fingers from the children’s menu?”
“Order whatever you want, kid,” Aiku says. “You deserve it. I’ll even pay.”
“Yay!” Niko says. “Chicken fingers it is.”
Aiku doesn’t even mind treating him. If this is successful, then he’ll buy Niko all of the chicken fingers in the world in thanks.
You’re more than a little grateful that Niko has given you something to talk to Barou about. Your best friend is busy texting her crush, the gerbil-looking one, who has apparently responded to her story, so you would’ve had to sit there in silence until she finished up or someone took pity on your helpless self. In this way, though, it’s much more natural, and even if it really was just an example of Niko feeling bad for you, it didn’t come across as such.
“You really scored a goal against the Japanese U-20 team?” you say after Barou has finished a long-winded explanation on the rules of soccer and some of the highlights of his career in the sport. In truth, you mostly tuned out the more technical details, but you have to admit that some of the things he’s mentioned about himself are rather interesting.
“Yes,” he says.
“Wow,” you say. “You must be good, then.”
He shrugs in acknowledgement. “I’m good.”
It doesn’t feel like he’s bragging or anything like that. He’s just acknowledging an inevitable truth. He’s good. The way he says it, no one can deny it — not that you would’ve. Based on his build alone, you’d have expected him to have talent as an athlete; the things he’s mentioned have only been confirmation of that initial prediction, rather than blowing your mind in any significant way.
“Hi!” Your waitress’s arrival with a tray full of drinks cuts your conversation with Barou short, which you’re surprised to find you’re a little put-out by, at least until the grumble of your stomach reminds you of why you came to the restaurant in the first place. “Are you all ready to order?”
“I want the chicken fingers,” Niko says.
“The chicken fingers from the twelve and under menu? How old are you?” she says.
“Twelve,” Niko says. You frown, leaning closer to Barou in order to murmur in his ear.
“Is he actually?”
Barou shakes his head ever so slightly. “No, but if that’s the only way he can get chicken fingers…”
“That’s a fair point,” you say. The waitress seems to share your doubts, but then Aiku flashes her a warm grin.
“My little brother’s heard so much about your entrees, and he can’t wait to try the, er, chicken fingers. Yes. The chicken fingers. He’s been talking about them all week,” he explains.
“Are they—?” you begin.
“They met like a month ago,” Barou says, rolling his eyes. “No relation whatsoever.”
“I see,” you say. You almost have to admire the lengths they’re willing to go to, as well as how natural they are with it. “Huh. I guess if it works, it works.”
“One order of chicken fingers, then!” the waitress says, jotting it down on her notepad, returning Aiku’s grin with her own. He has that kind of enviable charisma that lets him get away with a lot more than he should, and you’re more than a little jealous. “And the rest of you?”
You all give her your orders, and she promises she’ll be back quickly before running back to the kitchen. Once again, you’re left to your own devices, and given that your best friend is still texting that guy, you decide you’ll try and talk to the others at your table.
“Barou told me you guys are all in some program called Blue Lock together,” you say. “What’s that like? It sounded super intense.”
“It is,” Aiku scoffs. “I don’t even know if we’re supposed to be here at the moment.”
“We got permission from our coach,” Niko says. “But the guy who runs the program is kind of…what’s the word?”
“Freaky?” Aiku says.
“That works,” Niko says.
“I didn’t realize we were dining with rebels,” you say.
“For the record, I was dragged into coming by those two,” Barou says.
“We didn’t actually drag him,” Aiku reassures you. “I mean, we tried, but he’s super heavy.”
“Too much training,” Niko says. “Barou, you should flex for Y/N — I mean, for everyone.”
“Hell no,” Barou says. “In public? Don’t be shameless.”
“So you’ll do it in private, then?” Aiku says.
“That’s — that’s not what I meant!” Barou sputters. “I won’t do it at all!”
“Y/N, if you get a subscription to Blue Lock TV, then forget about asking Barou to flex. You can just watch him work out. He does it shirtless,” Aiku says. You choke on your water.
“What are you, some kind of salesman?” you say, coughing to dislodge the droplets of liquid scratching at your throat. “Was inviting us to sit with you a kindness or an advertisement?”
“Can’t it be both?” Aiku says.
“No, it cannot, you fucking donkey!” Barou says. “Please ignore him. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“You do train without a shirt on, though,” Niko says. “Quite often. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, there’s a lot of shirtless content on Blue Lock TV…Chris Prince stripped at one point, I’m pretty sure, and more than one of the Bastard München boys have had locker room features. I guess PXG is the only team without any fan service, since Barcha has Lavinho as a coach, and we all know how he is.”
“Good for them. You gotta give credit where it’s due,” Aiku says.
“Agreed,” Niko says. “Hey, Barou, didn’t you take your shirt off after scoring in the game against the U-20s, too? Is it like an established habit or something?”
“Enough about my shirt,” Barou says through gritted teeth.
“Or lack thereof,” Aiku adds. There’s a baleful aura emanating off of Barou, and he doesn’t even need to say anything before Aiku winces like he’s been cowed. “Sorry. The opportunity presented itself.”
“Both of you are on thin ice. First you abducted me, and now you’re going on about this dumbass subject? And that’s not to mention the sauce stain from earlier. I bet neither of you cleaned it up,” Barou says.
Aiku and Niko both look like they have been caught committing some crime. Barou’s about to snap, it’s very obvious, but you find his friends’ antics to be so amusing that you hesitantly pat him on the shoulder.
“Ah, I think they’re just teasing you. It’s common amongst people who are close to one another! I always make fun of my best friend for her taste in men,” you say.
“And I make fun of yours right back,” your best friend says, not even looking up from her phone. You roll your eyes at this.
“See? It’s really alright,” you say. “At the least, if you’re upset because we’re here, then don’t be. Neither of us mind. I mean, she’s not even paying attention to us. Too busy texting that Meriones unguiculatus of a man she deems crush-worthy.”
“Fuck you,” your best friend says. She ordinarily would have no idea what Meriones unguiculatus means, but given the context, you’re sure she’s figured it out.
“Don’t be mad because I’m right,” you say. “Anyways, like I was saying, it’s all good.”
There’s a strained moment where none of you know what Barou will do, but then he nods, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air.
“Fine,” he says. “I’ll let it slide, just this once. But the two of you better behave from now on, you got it?”
Aiku and Niko both seem to be so amazed that it’s a wonder they don’t salute at Barou’s barked-out order. Shaking your head and laughing, you decide it might be for the best if you try to talk to Barou yourself and leave his slightly problematic companions out of the conversation.
“So,” you say, to him and only him. “What’s the story behind the sauce stain?”
“Holy shit,” Aiku says.
“I know,” Niko says.
“She’s a genius. A god. A fucking Barou whisperer,” he says.
“I know,” Niko says.
“What are the odds that we managed to find the exact girl that could put up with his bullshit?” Aiku says.
“Pretty high!” a new voice chimes in. It’s Y/N’s friend; she never introduced herself, and it doesn’t seem like she’s inclined to, but she inconspicuously slides her chair closer to where he and Niko are talking. “You guys are trying to set your friend up with Y/N, huh? Good luck. She only likes ugly dudes.”
“Barou’s…kind of ugly?” Niko tries. Aiku snorts.
“Let’s keep it honest here,” he says. “Anyways, what were you talking about earlier? Barou’s a nutcase. It’s, like, a miracle that Y/N’s managing to have a conversation with him.”
“Maybe he’s like that with you, but to me, he seems to be the type that’s totally respectful to women,” Y/N’s friend says, brandishing her index finger in the air as if she’s making a particularly salient point. “The bigger the muscles, the bigger the heart, isn’t that ”
“Is that a real saying?” Niko says.
“No, I just made it up,” Y/N’s friend says. “But it kind of fits in this instance, don’t you think?”
“You’re not wrong,” Aiku says. “But do you mean to say Barou would be this nice to any girl?”
“It’s not like I know him personally. Shouldn’t you be able to answer that better than me?” Y/N’s friend says.
“There aren’t any girls in Blue Lock,” Niko says. “This is the first time we’ve seen him interact with one, so we actually have no idea.”
“Ah,” she says. “That explains a lot. Anyways, yeah, if I had to guess, he would be.”
“Hm,” Aiku says. This throws a definite wrench in their plans — up until this point, he had been convinced that there were sparks flying between Y/N and Barou, mostly because he had never seen Barou so gentle and quick to calm down in his life. Yet, if Y/N’s friend is telling the truth, and he has no reason to think she isn’t, then this is actually just his true personality.
On the one hand, it’s comforting to know that Barou isn’t constantly on the verge of an aneurysm, and indeed can even be persuaded towards kindness in his day-to-day life. On the other, it doesn’t solve their problem, which is getting him to calm down when he’s interacting with his fellow Ubers teammates.
Aiku comes to a decision relatively quickly. It’s his experience as a captain which lends him that swiftness; on the field, split-second decisions are the only way to go. He’s good at taking information and rapidly synthesizing it to come up with workable solutions, and though this isn’t a soccer match, the stakes are almost just as high.
The facts of the situation are as follows: Y/N does not seem to mind talking to Barou, and given that they’ve been engaged in conversation almost this entire time, the inverse is also likely true. Furthermore, she’s proven able to persuade him not to freak out at himself and Niko when they were pushing his buttons, which is something no one has ever managed before and is somewhat the end goal of the outing. Of course, she apparently only likes ugly guys, and Barou’s far from ugly — as a fellow member of the non-ugly community, Aiku is confident in saying this — but things like that are subjective, so he decides he shouldn’t worry too much about that aspect.
Then there are the theories, namely Y/N’s best friend’s one about how any girl might have a similar effect on Barou. This could be true, or it could also not be, but Aiku only has one data point and a limited amount of time to work with, so despite the likely veracity, he has to set it aside as false for the time being. It’s not like there’s an endless supply of girls just hanging around for him to test out Barou’s reactions with, so in this moment, he’s deeming Y/N L/N as a special case, an outlier, and this can only lead to one conclusion:
Barou is totally into her.
“Two younger sisters, really?” you say. While your best friend has been talking to Aiku and Niko in hushed tones, you’ve been preoccupied with Barou, who’s proven himself to be nothing like his first impression. You had expected him to be fussy and rude and intimidating, and while the latter adjective certainly still applies, he’s kind instead of spiteful and almost shy instead of brash.
“Yeah,” he says, and there’s a smile in his voice, although his face does not shift in the slightest. “They’re much smaller, so I look after them a lot — when I’m home, anyways. Obviously, I haven’t seen them since I’ve been at Blue Lock.”
“How sweet of you,” you say. “I bet your mother appreciates you a lot.”
“I try to help her whenever I can,” he says.
You’re about to internally swoon, but then you stop yourself. So what if he’s athletic, helps his mother, is tall, handsome, kind, muscular, and supposedly good with kids? That doesn’t mean anything. He probably has a girlfriend, anyways, given all of these positive attributes—
“I have to go to the bathroom,” you say, standing up. Your best friend looks over at you in concern, for she knows of your distaste for public restrooms, and then she, too, stands.
“Want me to come?” she says.
“Yes,” you say, striding off without further explanation. As soon as the two of you are far enough from the table, you give her a distressed look. “I need help.”
“What’s up?” she says.
“I think—”
“Are you into Barou?” she asks, cutting you off. You blink at her.
“How did you know?” you say.
“You’ve spent almost the entire time talking only to him. It’s a little obvious,” she says.
“Oh, no,” you say. “He’s definitely caught on, then!”
“It’s not a big deal. According to Aiku and Niko, he’s single, so that’s one thing you don’t have to worry about, and besides, if that’s the case, then he’s fair game, isn’t he? There’s nothing wrong with being interested in someone,” she says.
“He’s single? How?” you say. “You’re telling me no one’s been interested in him yet? That’s impossible.”
“There is the whole ‘locked away in a facility with zero girls’ aspect to be considered…” she says.
“Well, that’s true,” you say, feeling dumb for having forgotten that. “Do you think he’s interested in me?”
“He’s been talking to you back, right? That’s a good sign, especially since he’s been ignoring his friends to do so,” she says. “There’s a decent chance. If anything, does he seem like the kind of guy that would be mean about rejecting you? You should just ask him for his number when we get back.”
“Me? Ask for his number?” you say.
“I’ve heard girls have high success rates when they approach guys that they’re into. What’s the worst that can happen? Either way, the three of them are heading back to some weird facility after tonight, so we can just leave and never see them again if it’s awkward,” she says.
You mull this over. Nothing she’s saying is wrong, and anyways, it’s been a while since you dated someone. Besides, you’ll probably not meet someone like Barou again for a long, long time, and when you really think about it, you’d rather live with a rejection than a what-if scenario floating around in your mind for the rest of your life.
“Alright,” you say. “I’ll do it, but that means you have to dump the gerbil dude and move on.”
“Did that earlier. I couldn’t stop thinking of Tinkerbell the gerbil whenever I saw his profile picture; it totally killed the mood. Thanks a lot,” she says.
“It’s my pleasure,” you say. “Now, let’s go back. I have a number to get!”
“Um, hold on,” she says. “I do actually have to pee, and the bathroom doesn’t seem too dirty.”
You sigh, because now that you’re this pumped up, you don’t want to delay any longer, but you’re not about to abandon her, so you nod towards the door.
“I’ll wait here, then. Be quick!”
“Well, well, well,” Aiku says. “Who would’ve thought we’d get to see the day?”
“What are you talking about?” Barou says when he notices that both Aiku and Niko are looking at him.
“What aren’t we talking about?” Aiku says.
“It’s Y/N,” Niko says, defusing the volatile atmosphere rather efficiently. Aiku hands him a French fry off of his plate as a form of praise; accepting it happily, Niko chews and swallows before continuing. “You like her, right?”
“What? No,” Barou says quickly — too quickly, which means the answer is the opposite of what he’s just said. Aiku steeples his fingers together, because he couldn’t have imagined things going any better, and he feels like he’s entitled to a villainous pose or two every now and again.
“You’ve been talking to her the entire time we’ve been eating, and you didn’t yell at her when she told you to calm down,” Aiku says.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Barou says.
“I guess it’s for the better,” Niko says. “Her friend told us she has a boyfriend.”
Aiku’s about to reprimand him for making things up, but before he can, he sees out of the corner of his eye that the tips of Barou’s ears have turned a surprisingly light and rosy pink, and then he can only shake his head in amazement. Niko’s really fucking good at this. Aiku almost wonders if he should ask the kid for anime recommendations or something.
“Really?” Barou says.
“Really,” Niko says.
“That’s — I mean, it’s none of my business, so why are you telling me?” Barou says.
“You’re awfully upset if that’s the case,” Aiku points out.
“I’m not upset!” Barou says. “Just…I wasn’t expecting her not to be single, that’s all.”
“Expecting, or hoping?” Aiku says. Barou glares at him but does not respond, which tells Aiku all he needs to know. “It’s okay for you to have a crush on her. She seems nice enough.”
“Yeah,” Niko says. “If you guys get along, then there’s no harm in just asking her out. We’re going back to Blue Lock after dinner anyways, so it’s not like you’ll see her in the future if you don’t want to. Can you live with yourself if you don’t give it a shot?”
“Aren’t you a king?” Aiku urges. “What kind of king doesn’t put his best foot forward at all times?”
“The kind of king that respects other people’s relationships, you chewed up wad of spearmint gum,” Barou says.
“Oh, I was just making that up,” Niko says. “I wanted to see how you’d react. She’s definitely single.”
“You—!”
Aiku and Niko are saved from another one of Barou’s tirades by the arrival of Y/N and her friend. With a final malevolent sneer, Barou continues to talk to Y/N, who seems eager to pick up where they left off. Aiku high-fives Niko under the table.
“You’re a genius, buddy,” he says.
“Does this mean you’ll buy me dessert, too?” Niko says.
“If you’ll share with me, then sure.”
“Deal.”
“When should I ask him for his number? It’ll be awkward if I do it in front of everyone, I think,” you say.
“Why would it be awkward?” she says. “I’m not about to judge you. I already know you’re going to do it.”
“I was talking about Aiku and Niko,” you say, though you’re specifically referring to Aiku — there’s a sense of naïveté to Niko, so the thought of being so bold in front of him doesn’t make you squeamish, but it’s a difference case with his counterpart. Oliver Aiku has a sort of suaveness to him that makes you feel as though he’s not been rejected once in his life, and that’s more than a little terrifying. What might such a master say about your feeble attempts at flirting? You don’t want to imagine it. The mere beginnings of the thought are preemptively giving you hives, so having the thought fully formed, or heaven forbid the actual event occurring…you shudder at the plethora of side effects you’ll no doubt undergo.
“That’s fair,” she says. “I can distract them, if you want. While we’re getting dessert, I’ll tell Aiku I’m having car trouble and ask if he can take a look. He seems like the kind of guy that would fall for that. I don’t know what to do about Niko, though…”
“He’ll probably go with Aiku, but even if he doesn’t, I think it’ll be fine if it’s just him there,” you say. “He’s pretty harmless.”
“You better not wimp out, then! If I have to embarrass myself by pretending to know nothing about cars, then the least you can do is actually ask for his number,” she says.
“I’ll do it!” you say. She obviously doesn’t believe you, so you pout. “Promise I will.”
“Fine,” she says.
“Fine,” you say.
“Fine!” she says again. “Just give me a second before we go back, then. I need to think of what kinds of issues my car will be having…”
“Hey, Aiku,” Y/N’s friend says. The entire table falls silent, including Aiku himself — he’s more than a little confused about what she could want with him. After all, he’s not done anything that would seem like he’s trying to pursue her, so there’s no reason for her to believe he’s interested, and it’s not like they’re close enough for her to be talking to him in specific.
“What’s up?” he says.
“My car is making a weird sound when it starts. I was going to wait to ask my dad when I got home, but if you know anything about cars, could you maybe…?” she says.
Aiku knows nothing about cars, and he’s about to tell her as much, but then Niko of all people is answering. He hasn’t heard the boy talk this much since they met, which means he’s really getting into this.
“Sure, we can both take a look while we wait for dessert to come,” he says. It’s suspicious, because if Aiku knows nothing about cars, then Niko’s understanding has to be in the negatives. The kid doesn’t even have his driver’s license yet, so how would he be of any help? Unless this is another skill he’s picked up from watching anime, in which case it seems like that’s another hobby Aiku needs to take up.
“Thanks,” Y/N’s friend says, clearly relieved. “Y/N, do you mind staying back so no one takes our table?”
“Barou, keep her company,” Niko says. “We don’t want them thinking we’re the dine-and-dash type.”
“It’s okay with me,” Y/N says before Barou can argue, which effectively shuts Barou up. Aiku’s beloved teammate only grunts in agreement, watching the trio out of the corner of his eyes as they scurry out of the restaurant and begin to wander about aimlessly in the parking lot.
“Can you, uh, describe this noise to me?” Aiku says. It’s not like that knowledge will really change much for him, but he thinks that it might be better if he at least pretends to put forth some effort into assisting the girl. After all, it’d be bad for business if he gets flamed as the rude, unhelpful type.
“Huh? Oh, I made that up,” she says.
“As I expected,” Niko says.
“What? Why would you do that?” Aiku says. Then he comes to a realization, and it’s like a bucket of ice water has been poured over his head. “Hold on just a second, I’m not the one looking for—”
“That was a great method of leaving Y/N and Barou alone,” Niko says, cutting Aiku off before he can continue to embarrass himself. “Now they can figure things out between themselves.”
“Right?” Y/N’s friend says. “There’s only so much they can do when we’re all sitting there.”
“Yeah, awesome idea,” Aiku says, relieved to hear that she’s on their side. Girls take their friends’ opinions seriously. If Y/N’s best friend approves of Barou, then that’s a plus in Barou’s favor, and given Barou’s uniqueness, he needs all of the pluses he can get.
“And just so you know, you’re not my type, so don’t take any of this in a weird way. I just want Y/N to be happy,” she continues.
“Duly noted,” Aiku says.
“Sorry I wasn’t faster in cutting you off,” Niko whispers when Y/N’s friend pulls out her phone and begins to play on it again. Aiku shrugs.
“No worries. Nobody’s perfect,” he says. “Although, honestly? If this night ends up the way we want it to, then I’d say you’re pretty damn close regardless.”
“I’m really sorry,” Barou says as soon as your best friend, Aiku, and Niko have exited the building.
“For what?” you say. The crowd is dwindling, for the restaurant is nearing its closing time, but it’s still busy enough that you have to stay close to him in order to be able to hear what he’s saying. Or maybe that’s an excuse you’ve made for yourself; either way, he doesn’t pull back, so you remain in the comfortable space between you both.
“Aiku,” he says. “Also Niko, but mostly Aiku.”
“Why? He’s not done anything too horrible,” you say. “He’s pretty funny. And Niko seems like a nice boy.”
“They have this idea in their mind,” he says. “It’s totally stupid, but that’s why they’re acting like this. They’re not usually quite as idiotic.”
“What do you mean?” you say. You almost want to tell him to hurry up so you can ask for his number before the others come back and your best friend gets upset with you, but you’d rather listen to him talk, and anyways once you ask him for his number there’s a chance things will go wrong, so you want to soak in these last few seconds before that happens.
“I mean, you know,” he says, and then he’s turning a color you never would’ve expected from someone as reputedly tough as him. “Just that they think I like you.”
“Like me?” you say.
“Yeah,” he says. “Like I’m into you or something.”
You had hoped for it, but not seriously considered it — although, the teasing and whatnot do make a little more sense now that he’s added this context to it. If Aiku and Niko think he might be into you…you know you shouldn’t be fanciful, that it’ll eventually lead to disappointment, but you want to. You really want to, so when you next speak it’s tentative but optimistic.
“If you are,” you begin, nervous more than anything, though you’re certain the only cure is getting this over with, “I am, too. Into you, I mean.”
Barou’s lips are still parted as if he’s about to say something, but no words escape him. He just sits there and stares at you, as if you’ve said something profound or shocking or both. Probably both. You giggle, shifting in your seat and adjusting your position, because seeing him like this is endearing as much as it is uncomfortable.
“If you’re not, it’s alright, but my friend told me I should ask you for your number or something, so I don’t have any regrets when we leave,” you say. “She’s right, too. I’d have felt horrible forever if I never said anything.”
He’s still silent. You question if you’ve somehow caused him to malfunction, so you nudge his foot with your own under the table. This does nothing to break him out of his daze, and then you realize he’s probably trying to figure out how to best reject you, so you sigh.
“It’s okay to say no. There’s no expectation on my part. I just wanted to get it out there,” you say.
“No!” he says.
“Well, I mean, you didn’t have to be exuberant about it,” you mutter to yourself before smiling. “That’s okay, though! Thank you for listening and talking to me—”
“I mean, yes. No. I don’t know which question I’m supposed to be answering!” he says. “I do like you. That’s what I’m trying to say, but you just said so many things that I didn’t know what to respond to.”
“You like me?” you say. You had never in your wildest fantasies imagined someone like Barou being into you. It was the kind of thing that just didn’t happen, and yet, somehow, it had. Barou liked you.
“I guess so,” he says. “That’s how Aiku would phrase it, I think. I enjoy talking to you, and you have nice table manners. You kept your hands and surroundings clean, and you didn’t spill anything, which is more than can be said about a lot of people. I really appreciate that kind of trait in a person.”
“Uh, thanks?” you say, because you’ve not really been complimented on your table manners before, but it’s kind of sweet. “Yeah, thanks. I’d compliment you back, but there’s so many things to say that I wouldn’t know where to start…”
“How about with your phone number?” he says. You’re pretty sure that that’s uncharacteristically bold of him, because his eyes widen as soon as he comprehends what he’s said, but he doesn’t take it back. Instead, he waits, his hands folded carefully in his lap as he watches you, probably wondering what you’ll say in response to the request.
Smiling at him, you pull out your phone and open your hand, waiting for him to give you his.
“You got her number?” Aiku says as they’re driving home. Niko’s in the backseat this time, mostly because he offhandedly mentioned feeling nauseous after eating and Aiku has no interest in getting vomit all over him. “Way to go, man.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Barou says, gazing out of the window mysteriously. “I can’t exactly take her on dates or anything while I’m stuck in Blue Lock.”
“If you get Snuffy’s permission, you could,” Aiku says.
“We probably shouldn’t abuse that,” Niko says. “Otherwise, Ego will come up with some insane punishment for all of us. The guy’s a super-freak. I’m sure he’s got some crazy stuff stored away.”
“Very true,” Aiku says. “Don’t worry too much, though, Barou. If she’s the one, she won’t mind waiting.”
“How can I know if she’s the one when we’ve only met once? You’re delusional,” Barou says.
“It’s pretty simple,” Aiku says. “Do you want her to be?”
The moonlight hits Barou in a particularly elegant way at that moment. Aiku’s suddenly not surprised that Niko’s anime intelligence worked so well — Barou seems straight out of a girlish romance novel or TV show or something along those lines just then.
“Yeah,” he says. “I do.”
“Then that’s that!” Aiku says, pulling into the garage and putting Snuffy’s car in park. “Trust me, there was major chemistry there, so I’m sure she’s of the same opinion.”
“It’ll work out,” Niko agrees. He’s clearly feeling much better now that they’re not in the car, his steps light and bouncy, his lips curving upwards at the corners. “You’re a great guy, Barou. We were talking about it earlier.”
Barou scoffs. “Of course I am.”
“Classic Barou,” Aiku says, throwing his arm around Barou’s shoulder. “So humble.”
“Get off of me,” Barou grumbles, shoving Aiku away, though there’s a marked gentleness to it that tells Aiku their plan worked. He’s excited to see the long-term effects — if only one dinner with Y/N was enough for Barou to relax this much, then the duration of their relationship might be akin to a vacation for the rest of the Ubers.
That night, Aiku and Niko are brushing their teeth in the bathrooms together, since nobody else is up and there’s a certain camaraderie built between them after their adventure.
“We did good today, Niko,” Aiku says after spitting his toothpaste into the sink.
“Agreed,” Niko says.
The door slams open right after he does, which is horribly ironic timing, because it reveals a furious Barou. He’s already enormous, but his fury causes him to swell until his proportions are vaguely Hulk-like and entirely terrifying. Both Aiku and Niko glance at him in confusion, because he should have no reason to be upset, and then, right before he can start yelling, it hits them like a truck.
“Hey, you donkeys,” Barou hisses. “Did you think you could distract me by taking me to dinner? That stain is still there. Can neither of you do anything for yourselves? I’m going to kill you both, mark my words!”
Aiku groans. Niko face-palms.
Fuck.
#barou x reader#barou x you#barou x y/n#barou shoei#bllk x reader#bllk#blue lock#reader insert#modern au#oliver aiku’s guide to getting girls#m1ckeyb3rry writes
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