#but also... idk.... I didn't want anything to do with the guy but I also love the attention....
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Sooo I started to read other articles. I didn't after reading the ones that came out right after the episode that justifiably got everyone upset.
This one from tv insider had Tim saying this:
Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?
Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.
That does seem to be Buck’s go-to, which isn’t the best.
Exactly.
Are we going to see Buck single for a significant period of time now? Is he trying to figure out what he wants really out of a relationship?
Yeah, I think that’s right. As Tommy said, you’re still figuring yourself out, and his options have increased by 50 percent of the population. So knowing Buck, that’s going to be choice overload. He’s got to navigate that with a little self-awareness.
--
So they definitely planned for this. That's what this reads like...they wanted to break them up so that they could send Buck through a period of exploration. Tim says everything Oliver said here in much nicer terms. His view of Buck is so...Idk, it's like he sees Buck as a kid that still doesn't know what he wants. And he decided to put that view right into Tommy's head too. It's a little jarring I guess but this show...has it ever been consistent?
What sucks is that 8x05 was written like they were doing so well. And then right off the back with 8x06 we have warning signs in the date scene with the girl that approaches Buck and how Tommy sort of shrugs off Buck checking her out. I really do wonder where hot waiter fit into this and I'm so glad we didn't see Tommy like checking hot waiter out or something. But I guess that scene was there to sow the seeds. We have Buck spiraling because of the Abby thing and we have Tommy maybe not realizing but reinforcing for himself that he's a stepping stone for Buck and being okay with it in the status quo.
The way that Tim speaks about Buck asking Tommy to move in, he makes it seem like Buck is just barreling in without thought...like if they went through with it Tommy might be proven right. But then what is the point of the scene with Josh where Buck is right on the cusp of an "I love you" just to then be like no actually Tommy knows how this ends and he can read Buck and knows they're not forever. But Tommy is not a mind reader.
Where there is hope is in that Tim doesn't outwardly say anything about Tommy being gone for good. As someone else pointed out the Lou interviews were done by buddie journalists with a bias so there is a question to how much that colored what we got and why they were so determined to close the door fully. Also...why did we get exit interviews in the first place for a character that only had three episodes...it's so odd.
The writers made a point of leaving this open. Do I think we'll get Tommy back any time soon. No. But after the doom and gloom and the time to mourn this a bit I want to be positive and there is really no knowing. Tim says he thinks Buck will be single for a while...okay fine...picture that being the rest of this season.
Buck won't just jump into another relationship...and Oliver gets his Buck slut era 2.0...what if S9 brings back Tommy? What if this is the long game...or at least the thing they can have in their back pocket if Lou is available later on to come back. But that's not something they can promise or that they can commit to and Lou isn't on contract clearly and Oliver wouldn't know if that's the plan...hell even Tim probably doesn't know if they'll do that. Or I'm giving him too much credit because as we've seen this season storylines have been rushed to close up at breakneck speeds so it would be an anomaly for him to prolong something like this.
All this to say, showing the network and Tim that bucktommy matters to a lot of people and that Tommy matters...it may just make a difference.
#911 abc#bucktommy#tim minear#911 discourse#911 spoilers#I said I wasn't going to keep looking at stuff but then I accidentally opened this article and also the variety and thr ones with oliver#they made me wonder#and ponder#right now my view is the door is open and they could revisit at any time and make them have another go at it#but it won't happen any time soon#certainly not this season#but it also leaves tommy as an option for buck if they need to just quickly close up the series as a whole#but idk this is me being delulu about it
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tumblr in the blaseball universe, part 10
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9
image descriptions: the first image is a thick black bar meant to separate posts. the second image is a thin gray bar meant to separate reblogs. they are used continuously throughout the post when appropriate. like right now
☎️ official-jessica-telephone 🔁
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
what happens if the real JT wants this URL. it's a part of me now. who do i become if i have to give it up
🐟 offishal-jessica-telephone Follow
she'll have to krill you for it
☎️ official-jessica-telephone
WHO ARE YOU
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☕ eyesinthedark11
every day with salmon weather for the past few months, my dad has miraculously "found" fresh salmon for us to have for dinner. should i ask him where he's getting it from
#personal #i know the answer. i just need the verbal confirmation
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Whoops, looks like this post doesn't exist!
🐍 gamer--gorgon
shoutout to the guy (who i think might be in our shadows?) that goes fishing during every salmon game. you should see if you can get anything from the floods
#if he's a shadows guy it's extra funny because he's gotta come up from new jersey #all the shadows share an apartment there #charla said she thought she knew him but every time she tries to get into the stands to talk to him he just disappears lmfao #i get it king. i really do
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☎️ official-jessica-telephone
what do you MEAN they're rebooting supernatural???
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☕️ eyesinthedark11 🔁
☕️ eyesinthedark11
i understand that this is ostensibly a terrible thing to say but i truly do not think parker macmillan did anything wrong. if my mom was the coin i woulda done worse. i wouldn't have only been passively killing
🦆 peripheral-duck
everyone wants to act all gifted kid burn out fleabag mommy issues #coquette #girlblogger but the minute mommy decides murder is okay if it gets her some money it's all "well why didn't PARKER do anything :/" you fake fucking bitches. bro got cursed to bring destruction in his wake and THEN cursed to wander everywhere. we're not going to question that??
☕️ eyesinthedark11
if the coin was my mom i would have burned the whole earth years ago. not even because of firewalker or anything i woulda just done that
#like you are looking at mommy issues supreme. you show some fucking respect #<- PREV #on one hand it feels really weird to say these things about a Real Guy who is possibly still alive #on the other hand. you fake bitches #if you've reblogged a fleabag quote i don't wanna hear shit from you #'maybe the fireballs didn't know what instability was' valid point! #but that does not mean they're not at fault. you know #idk why everyone expects parker to just. fix everything. #if he's in the vault then he's been 19 for like 50+ years. he suffers more than jesus
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🐶 catgirlfirefighter
it's somehow the league's best kept secret that mike townsend is deaf. people keep coming to me like, "idk how you're friends with the guy, he just ignored me, he's such a dick" bro he can't hear you. and also yeah he is a huge bitch
#right judgement wrong reason #mike if you're reading this. ily <3
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🦞 marketplace-shellfish
Hey has anyone heard from that guy who was making the "meatcute is not real and can't hurt me" affirmations recently? I can't tell if it's a bit or not but they haven't posted since.
#blaseball #san francisco #san francisco lovers #hopefully it's nothing and i'm just anxious lol
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dummies
#i am a big believer in he/him nb yusuke so. that's what that first one's about#anyway here's some guys. i've been thinking about yyh a lot lately :p#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#hiei#kurama#yukina#yoko kurama#skrunkart#urameshi yusuke#kuwabara kazuma#kiiiiinda skipped class for this. which i feel bad about bc it's end of semester! it's fun! i'll miss everybody!!#but also i uh. idk i got a bad feeling. felt weird so i bailed on the way there#not like i was gonna miss anything that crucial anyway#brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i gotta go study don't i... hm#anyway if you think the top one looks bad um. ignore it please i haven't colored anything digitally in ages (ignore last night's post)#and also i wanted it to be colored but didn't care enough to do full shading and... well whatever
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Lady Bone Demon: "Do not lament your fate child, you can rest knowing you served your purpose—destiny has found you."
(2x10 This is the End!)
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Lady Bone Demon: "A reminder: it seems you can not be trusted to willingly follow the path of destiny. But know this: If you betray me again—one misstep, one failure in any way—I will erase the very memory of you."
(3x04 The Winning Side)
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Tang: "You're wrong. I know I'm not a strong as they are. I may still be searching for my purpose—but what I do know, is that doing it alone is not the path I'm destined to take. Deep in my heart, I know my place is alongside my friends."
(3x08 Benched)
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Lady Bone Demon: "I sent you a task—you were to retrieve the Monkie King and his protégé, yet you refused the path of destiny and so there will be pain."
(3x08 Benched)
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Tang: "STOP! It was me! I mean, yeah, Macaque forced me to do it and I am definitely starting to have second thoughts on the whole thing now but- I don't know how and I don't know why, I just felt like I had to. Like it was...destiny!" Lady Bone Demon Voice Over: "Destiny can not be undone Sun Wukong."
(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)
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Lady Bone Demon: "No matter what you do, you cannot change the path of destiny." MK: "I don't know if this all happened because it was destined to, but I have to believe that I found the staff so I could use it for good." [...] "If you really believed that destiny can't be changed, you wouldn't be using every ounce of power you have to keep him contained!"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Lady Bone Demon: “Know this, monkey, you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is right—that pursuit only leads to one thing." MK: "Hmmhm. To destiny, right?" Lady Bone Demon: "No. To pain."
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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MK: "I can't believe that worked!" Tang: "Eh, if that was destined to go wrong, then it would have!"
(4x03 The Great Tang Man)
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Tang: "If your bonds of friendships our strong, then you will always find your way back to one another!"
(4x04 Pig Napped!)
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Macaque: "Wukong was on a path of self-destruction, we all were. But when he met the monk, it set him on a different path." MK: "Ah! The path of the good guy! Making those good life choices?"
(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)
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Purpose, Pain, and the Path of Destiny
#originally this started as like ''huh Tang said the thing LBD said'' and then it turned into a 3 way thing between Tang LBD and MK#Like 2 sides of the destiny coin and the guy who undoes/changes destiny#''Destiny has found you'' ''You will always find your way back to one another!''#I FEEL FUCKING CRAZY#THE JOURNEY. THE PATH THERE. FINDING THE SCRIPTURES. YOUR FRIENDS. YOUR PURPOSE. DESTINY. IDK#lmk really was like ''Everyone's destiny is pain. Cope with that fact'' and I've been losing my mind for a year#Like whatever#''No matter what I do it's going to lead to pain''#LIKE THAT'S. THE PATH OF DESTINY (''path of self-destruction''). Okay. Okay#Not even that relevant to the post I'm just in so deep rn#''All doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart'' and then s5 being the world literally tearing itself apart. Like jesus#They really just wanted to completely decimate MK's little positive growth from the special like. Immediately.#''At least we fixed something for a change- instead of destroying it'' AND THEN THEY DIDN'T FIX ANYTHING#WHICH I'VE BEEN SAYING WAS HOW IT WOULD GO FOR A WHILE. BUT ON GOD TO BE PROVEN SO RIGHT#You know I hope Mei also has a terrible time next season I really feel like she was going through it in s4. But like subtly#Not MK's monkie mental breakdown way#*cough* tag rant over#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk Tang#lmk LBD#lmk MK#lmk theme: destiny#to pain
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The thing that draws me to Digimon above Pokemon, I think, is the idea that a Digimon is uniquely your special little guy (genderless) who is your best friend forever. I undestand that Pokemon have to chose the trainer too, but with Digmon this friend exists JUST for you, absolutely NO one else could share your bond with them! Your special little guy (genderless) is a friend who can TALK with you! You can go on an adventure together to save both of your worlds and better yourselves together during the process!
Also: In the shows they go back to their cute and cuddly rookie forms after fights and that was definitely a factor when I was a kid- I've always liked how fluid digivolution is!
#idk what this is besides a sentimental ramble honestly#I wish the Digimon GAMES would have this because yes I DO want a game where I get a special little guy who is my bff#I don't actually enjoy monster collectors all that much#I think the furthest I've ever made it in a pokemon game is the second gym? maaaaybe?#I'm enjoying digimon story cyber sleuth BECAUSE there's more of an overarching plot and incentive to keep your main party#also: that I was a DEEPLY lonely child DEFINITELY played a role in loving that Digimon could talk#Like. I do love and have a fondness for pokemon especially the first two seasons! I still LOVE the first movie SO much!#but it doesn't meet my love of the storytelling that has been done with digimon especially.#I specifically remember fighting over the remote with my brother because I didn't want to be behind on my STORY with Digimon!#s1 and s2 can be hailed as the first stories I ever got /really/ invested in. The beginning of my absolute LOVE for storytelling!#which. if you know anything about me is VERY SIGNIFICANT#digimon#kat gets personal
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
#okay first of all THEY DEBUTED WITH A MOVIE !!!! that's so crazy every time i think about it im like woooow#jongseob and intak acting debut when ???? they were sooo good omg unlike kyo i didn't remember how bad he was 😭😭 but his#character is hilarious so it's fine <3 ALSO i completely forgot yoo jaesuk and jung haein are in it like guysss what are u doing here hihi#anyways absolutely oscar worthy real cinema if u ask me#now after taking notes and watching the new trailer a few times i think that p1epi is actually chaeyoons weird talking plushie#but since it's away from her it can't talk so that's why jongseob create that thingy to translate from#dog language to human language and i think it's there because maybe the members got like lost in time and#it wants to remind them that they have to save the entire world from the apocalypse#also p1epi came down from the sky just like the alcot meteor like ummm yes we love symbolism 🙂↕️#i saw someone saying the dog it's actually intak because the dog came through the window and intak wakes up next to one but it doesn't make#any sense to me so we're throwing that idea in the trash can#talking about intak hes now has blue eyes so that means he got infected but honestly when did that happen while he was fighting#some zombie? idk i think i have to watch all their mvs again for clues but what that means he's one of the bad guy now??#also i may be insane but what if the shop represents the world and seeing it in flames means the members couldn't save it and their lore#ends with the saddest ending ever like yeah sorry the apocalypse won#OR WHAT IF !!!!! they aren't the ones who can save the world they actually are the reason why it's ending like the masked ghost#actually created them to spread the virus and that would also explain them at the end of the trailer looking#at the burning shop without doing anything like they ARE alcot the meteor thats gonna destroy the world#but that would be too dark i know they're the heroes so it will have a happy ending#i have many theories but im starting to scare myself so ill shut up#pt
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Do you have any Zhongli/Zhongchi fic recs? I haven’t found any that are nearly as good as yours 😔😔
funnily enough someone already asked this, but it was quite a while ago and tumblr is a mess to search old shit thru so here, this is the post this was asked during the ao3 crisis of- .......last year? i can't remember. either way, the post starts w me saying i don't have all the names and links but dw, after ao3 came back up i edited the post so you should see all authors and links in the recs.
i have to admit that for reasons unrelated to the fandom i haven't been reading many zhongchi fics as of late? so like- bear in mind i don't have an updated mental picture of any of the recs after the post was made. so if one went off the rails or if one of the WIPs finished, i'm not aware;; i also mention in the post that i'd add more recs if i had access to ao3 (which i didn't at the time bc it was down), and while that is true, it's been so long since i read any of them that i wouldn't be able to confidently reccomend them outside of 'i somewhat remember the plot and i remember liking it'. also i don't remember half of their names. so uh- yeah that's the list i think
#also there are plenty of fics that i'd have loved to recomend but that ended up either going off the rails towards the end or that just-#left me disappointed#complete tanget but what is it with people making holy angst and then completely missing the point of said angst#as in#the resolution they give to the angst is sometimes more infuriating than anything#like by that point i'm rooting to have no resolution LMAO#which is why angst resolution is always like my n°1 concern in my fics#last thing i want is for the angst to be super good and then for the resolution to leave y'all like-#that's it?#not in the sense of payoff for the angst#but in the way the issues brought up by the angst get handled#i don't want to point fingers obviously i'm not that much of an asshole#but i vividly remember a fic that set up childe being bullied horribly by a bunch of adults for something that was outside of his control#and that he couldn't have possibly known#and so he just flees bc i mean poor guy i'd flee as well. plus they backed him into a corner with no other way out#like- think public proposal except childe didn't even know he was dating zhongli. and when he was confused about it#all the onlookers started berating him for being stupid#which like- it's one thing being dense. and it's another thing being unable to communicate w eachother (this was zl's fault)#anyway. so he flees. the resolution to the angst is him getting dragged (against his will) back to liyue and zhongli just saying#sorry i forgot to say i loved you please never leave idk what i'd do without you#and like off-camera he did almost kill the 'onlookers' that bullied childe#but like#that's it#there's no further apologies from everyone; childe retains no issues from a highly traumatic event (it was portrayed that way);#everything is solved by zl saying actually i love you if you leave i'm gonna be depressed forever#like????????????????????????#obviously i'm being very vague about it#that's not exactly how it goes in the fic#don't want to throw hate at it the rest of it was really good#it just left me with a growing dread of 'this isn't going to be handled well by the author isn't it' as it went on
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So let me get this right
Edgeworth had a quarter of life crisis, went to Europe to find himself, realised Phoenix gave his life meaning, and came back ready to confess.
Meanwhile Phoenix, who used to openly admire, be worried about and even give excuses to Edgeworth even when he was kinda mean, was so personally offended by how much it hurt him to think he was dead that when he came back Phoenix completely shut down every good emotion he felt towards him and started acting like a petty teenager with a grudge.
And now Edgeworth is the one reaching out and questioning his morality and acting hurt when Phoenix is mean to him. Interesting.
#and by interesting i mean i am going insane#worthwright#narumitsu#i'm still testing out what names feel less weird to use btw miles is weird and wright too but idk if using a first and a surname is as well#also. i was so pleasantly surprised by how emotionally mature phoenix was in the first game#and in this one he just startes accusing edgeworth of being evil all the time like?? he was way less understanding before#theonly explanation is that he mourned edgeworth like a lot and to protect himself from feeling all that he pretended he didn't#care actually because edgeworth was all those things people said he was (heartless and forged evidence anddid anything to win a trial) even#if he has actually helped Phoenix to get to the truth a lot of times before despite going against his own professional interests#he's treating him as if he's manfred von karma and not the one who phoenix himself protected against the guy#a bit disappointing tbh so i have to read it like that and not that he actually forgot all that; he only started believing in those things#he told himself to hurt less and now he's too tangled up to listen to what edgeworth is saying and doing#besides that: i'm SO GLAD he got an actually guilty client at last!! that's part of being a defense lawyer and now he can feel#that conflict edgeworth feels everytime he has to balamce doing his job with getting to the truth. also i want to see an edgeworth W#my babygirl needs it#“ace attorney”
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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in a cafe rn. this place is nice :>
#just me hi#they have a lot of random old stuff in here it's fun :D#tons of books too; though most of them seem to be romance and unfortunately i've come to terms w/ the fact i'm a hater gfhsfh </3#oh and not that the old stuff is random in a new place; it's an old-looking place with a lot of old stuff that doesn't match anything else#lol ! there are some spots that are Almost uhh- the word is not coherent but it's something like it hfhvs#i've had a bisquit sanmich and a lemonade which was pretty fine. i liked the sandwich though it was a bit greasy bfsh :>#idk i'm just comfortable here. the guy running the counter might be gay and there's a bathroom sign that jokes abt gender n creatures for#them lol - it's relatively quiet too n i have a chair that's pressed against the wall w/ no windows so i don't feel like i can be snuck up#on ghfhsv. i like it here so far :D#//anywho i think i'm gonna get on my ar.ft attacks now hfhsvh#i didn't bother posting my first one this year but i'll get to that rn!! :3#i have 1 + 1/2 i gotta do - i say a half because it doesn't Technically count as an attack due to the System but ehe :33#//btw this place has a thing going on where it's Nearly symmetrical#every table is missing at least 1 chair that would make it so and if there Is an even amount of chairs they aren't the same kind#though they Are matching in colour if they aren't the same type! i like that. dunno why hfbvs#also i like how oddly everything has been placed. tables placed in a diamond form compared to the room and then others are situated like#regular tables ; i just think it's interesting lol :33#//oh and i've finished another chapter of my book ; it's taking me forever because i actually came to like it a lot n i don't want it to en#a common habit of mine hfhfsh <3#though ik it's hard to tell from the outside if i'm not doing it cuz i hate it or cuz i love it. fun for Me though hfhbshvs#//yea anyway. i like this place lol :>#gonna wander around prolly. n work on stuff hopefully :>>#i have a ~+~root beer~+~ so here i go !! toodles :D
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Ok, back to girlblogging eheh (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
#wren text tag#like I said I got busy with my finals and I still have to take 2 exams in a week or so#and I know I could have been online in the time being#sadly I got ill and had to take antibiotics for the third time since the beginning of this year 😂 didn't feel like being silly#or drawing stuff in general sorry 🙏 mostly I tried to get better#there's no way I will have to postpone those finals#very funny how this month I wasn't online all the things happend#final chapter of StS: ND is out and oh boy#they announced a new Lady Oscar anime and * Oh Boy *#also a new Magic Knight Rayearth might drop in some time (oh boy but we will see)#oh yes I think Lore Olympus should finish soon bc I remember reading the announcement some time ago#and Roll20 got hacked again I'm 😐😐😐 can you please stop getting hacked I don't want my email full of spam again 😊💖#btw I haven't read the latest chapter of ND yet. I think I will wait until it gets published in italian (hopefully 🙏🙏🙏)#tho that doesn't mean that the second I logged in I saw 300 posts abt it 🤨 lol I cannot escape spoilers I guess#but IDK guys... I've seen some reviews and I had a “is this a jojo reference” kind of moment that I cannot explain#well I have the vague feeling of knowing how to explain it but also I will wait until I've actually * read * it#yeah now I will go to check my inbox byeeee 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️#I never get tagged in anything but for reasons I was? Obv when I was in my sickly victorian child era and I couldn't do anything for it#Wren arriving late to the party once again lmfao 😂
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watch him not perform or release Traffic, not give any album updates, force me to look at that for all three shows I’m attending and then immediately release the song, the album, and go back to black after I leave mid-July
#käärijä#istg this is the kind of luck i will have#bad news i woke up and i actually hate it even more#i'm sorry i know i'm being too pissy and dramatic about this#also the stress of trip planning is getting to me#and we're in a heatwave that keeps giving me headaches and just generally making me feel like absolute shit#so I am Not Doing Well on all fronts#but this is the kind of abrupt last minute change i hate more than anything#yes yes i know it's his body he can do whatever tf he wants#but i didn't pick up idk how many extra shifts in Hell (the workplace) for my concert footage to be of discount guy fieri
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So I have officially finished watching the first episode of tdp and I am once again asking Netflix to stop releasing seasons that are like 3 episodes long
#On a more serious note I'm so hooked#Like. The animation and art style is so pretty I want to do so many frame redraws#I'm cursing that Netflix blacks out screen shots so I can't save anything :(( I want some of these as lockscreens#But other than the art the story is super engaging so far and the world building is so fun!! I can wait to see more of it unfold#I also love how organic the dialogue is. They feel like real people having actual conversations#The swordfighting scene between Callum and soren (you'll have to forgive me if I get names mixed up lol) especially felt like something you#Could hear irl. It was also super sweet and I love how they didn't go with the trope of overly harsh and miserable instructor but instead#Went the opposite route#I really like all the characters so far! Can't wait to see how my opinion changes AVDBSBSNSJS#Sorry for the long ramble lol#I might do this episode by episode instead of live reaction and leave my thoughts in the tags like this#If you guys don't mind reading all this lol#I think I'll just forget to do the updates or get so distracted I'll miss things#Idk how quickly I'll get through it because things r hella chaotic but I want to binge it sm#Alas I must go to sleep today#But I'm loving this so far wins all across the board! I can't wait to continue it!!!!!#Yapadoodledoo: fandom edition#Also I can't remember that frog like creatures name (it's been three seconds 😭) but I would die for them
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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