#but also. ocd was not even. on any wavelength i had. i did not even. think that was a possibility. for me.

[kalashtars]

had someone tell me today they think I would be diagnosed with ocd before autism and i cannot stop thinking abt it

[minkdenmilo]

💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

[ilikecowsnstuff]

Chapter 7!!!

SUMMARY:  UA Hero Course - Third Year. Shigaraki Tomura and Dabi have been classmates and rivals since their very first day at UA. But with new feelings developing how will they cope given their history of fragile and often violent encounters? Their dance begins after a partnered training exam goes wrong, leaving Shigaraki wounded and Dabi feeling guilty. AU. 

====================

For AO3 – Click Here

For FanFiction – Click Here

====================

CHAPTER SEVEN - TRANSFER STUDENT

 “My hand hurts.” Shigaraki complained, although he said it without inflection, like he didn’t really care that he was in pain, just stating it as a fact. 

 Kurogiri cared, however. He drew his brows together and reached over to gently take Shigaraki’s hand, so he could check if the other boy had really damaged himself, before seeming to think better of it. Shigaraki didn’t need the coddling, nor did he want it, so Kurogiri retracted the gesture with a sigh. 

 Fortunately, Shigaraki’s eyes were closed so he hadn’t witnessed Kurogiri’s hesitance. He was soaking up the little bit of sun that had managed to break through the clouds, sprawled out on one of the benches in the school yard, his right arm draped over the edge carelessly.

 “Probably shouldn’t have punched Tamaki in the face.”

 “Worth it.” Shigaraki flexed his fingers, opening and then closing his hands into fists, stretching out the joints and then cracking his knuckles.

 Kurogiri nodded, looking sympathetic. Then sufficiently annoyed. Takami was a good student, Kurogiri had even considered him a friend once upon a time. He had no reason to hate the blond bird-boy, but because he knew Shigaraki didn’t get along with him, Kurogiri had decided not to trust him either. He tried to not let it bother him, but sometimes it was just too much. Like their little spat during the fire alarm. It was unnecessary, and it put all of the students involved in a precarious position.  

 “You’re not off the hook yet.” Kurogiri stubbornly replied, crunching his soda can and binning it, “Takami might talk.”

 “No, he won’t.” Shigaraki replied confidently. 

 “He’s the type.” Kurogiri added.

 Shigaraki was quiet for a moment, then opened his eyes and blinked up to the sky. Kurogiri was right. Takami was the type to snitch but he also wasn’t an idiot. Currently they were standing on equal ground - a hit for an insult. Fair was fair. The blond wouldn’t tip the scales now, not for a damn good reason anyway. That’s how they maintained a mostly cordial relationship day to day. Balance.

 “Heads up, you have a visitor.” Kurogiri informed from the other side of the bench.

“Hi.”

 Shigaraki turned his head slightly and squinted up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. His head and shoulders were blocking out his sun, but Shigaraki recognized the black mask hiding a good portion of a very angular face. It was the new kid.

 “What’s up?” Shigaraki greeted, sitting up on the bench. He pulled his foot up to rest on the seat and idly draped his arm over his bent knee.

 “Can I sit with you?”

 Shigaraki jerked his head to the empty space beside him, silently offering the dark-haired boy a seat, red eyes glowing beneath the shadow of the dark hood that was pulled over his head.

 “Thanks,” He returned before plopping down next to Shigaraki and nodding his head in greeting to Kurogiri. “You’re a hard man to find.”

 “Not if you know where to look.” Shigaraki digressed.

 “Mmm.” Kai murmured, seemingly in agreement, “So. UA High. Fun morning. So far, it’s not what I expected from the most prestigious Hero School in the country.”

 “Meaning?” Shigaraki challenged, his eyes narrowing.

 Kai reeled back slightly. He hadn’t noticed how striking Shigaraki’s eyes were until that moment. Now that he was up close and personal with the blue-grey haired boy, he thought they were terrifyingly beautiful. And, admittedly, having them fixed solely on him did make him feel a little uneasy. Not enough to retreat, of course, but still edgy.

 Kai tugged his medical face mask down, away from his nose and mouth to rest at his chin and he smirked, revealing a set of perfectly straight, white teeth. “A lot less chaos, and a lot more… order.”

 Shigaraki remained stoic, his head tilting slightly to the side.

 “Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleasantly surprised.” Kai declared, taking a moment to appraise Shigaraki’s unheralded appearance. 

 Immediately, he noticed a couple of things. The dark circles beneath Shigaraki’s red eyes suggested that the boy didn’t get a whole lot of sleep, which only made Kai more curious. And the long scar that cut vertically down the center of his right eye gave him a certain harshness, as did the many other less visible ones. Shigaraki didn’t look like a hero, and he certainly didn’t carry himself like one either. Kai knew looks could be deceiving but there was something about Shigaraki, something that hinted at a darker side, and witnessing the fight with Tamaki earlier was a reliable indication that Kai was right about that.

 What was someone like Shigaraki doing at UA?

 He shifted his gaze to Kurogiri then back to his sudden obsession, “You know, I didn’t think UA was the right school for me, too stuffy, too good, I didn’t really want to be here. But you,” Kai snickered, long dark lashes sweeping downwards, “Watching you beat down that little blond dick, well, you changed my mind in less than a minute.”

 Shigaraki’s eye twitched, and he lifted his hand to scratch at his irritated neck.

 “Between us,” He leaned closer, whispering, “If you hadn’t punched him when you did, I definitely would have. He’s a real piece of work.”

 “For fucks sake.” Kurogiri cursed. “Do not encourage him!” He grumbled from the other side of the bench, and his closed fist slammed down against the tabletop. “He’s already in enough shit as it is.”

 “Heh.” Kai grinned. “So Takami is also a rat?”

 The corner of Shigaraki’s mouth kicked up, amused.

 “That’s not…” Kurogiri shook his head and then abruptly got to his feet, “I’m going to class.”

 Shigaraki rolled his eyes. And he thought he was supposed to be the dramatic one.

 Kai watched the other boy go, grinning to himself. “So, did he rat you out?”

 “Nah,” Shigaraki shook his head offhandedly, scratching again at his neck, “I was already on Mr. Aizawa’s shit list.”

 Kai was even more curious, but thought it wasn’t the best time to pry further, Shigaraki would have elaborated if he wanted too. He tugged his black mask back up to cover his mouth and nose.

 “What’s with the mask?” Shigaraki asked, “You sick or something?”

 Kai snorted a laugh, “Call it, OCD.”

 “Don’t like germs, huh?”

 “Something like that.”

 Shigaraki nodded, eyeing Kai with suspicion before looking away. He seemed to be as curious with Kai, as Kai was with him. Curious, yet still cautious. The new kid seemed to be on the same wavelength as him, imperturbable but still receptive. And what Takami had said earlier, about Kai having a similar quirk to him, Shigaraki hadn’t thought about it until now, but was interested. That combined with his sudden appearance at UA High, got him thinking. Why would someone transfer in their final year?

 Shigaraki shifted his glance back to Kai. The other boy was watching him intently.

 “I’m going to go out on a limb here.” Shigaraki began, “You didn’t just transfer to UA High, did you?”

 Kai chuckled. Dark, low. “What makes you think that?”

 “I’m just adding numbers together.”

 “Clever.” Kai flicked his gold eyes up to meet Shigaraki’s unswervingly, “It was not by choice, not mine anyway.”

 Shigaraki’s brows knit tightly together. He wanted to know more but knew better than to ask. He knew a thing or two about the merits of trust and learned at a very young age that trust did not come cheap. If Kai was in fact anything like him, as he suspected, it had to be earned.

 “But you know what?” He added just as the bell rang, as sharp and shrill as ever, signalling the end of their all-to-brief lunch period.

 “What do you know?” Shigaraki asked, passive, lip twitching.

 “I know that I already like it better here.” He divulged, and then slid away, grabbing his bag on his way back up to his feet. “Maybe we can be friends.”

 “I have enough friends.”

 “But none like me.” Kai bargained and took a few slow steps backwards. He seemed to take a moment to consider Shigaraki before turning away and heading towards the main UA building. He threw his arm up, waving in adieu. “See you in class.”

 Shigaraki watched him go, disquisitive, but not nearly as eager to get back to class. He needed some time to ponder the mysterious new transfer student and what his motives were. Maybe he didn’t have any and legitimately wanted to make friends at UA. Shigaraki had his doubts of course but didn’t want to judge Kai too soon.

====================

Chapter One – Accidental Attraction

Chapter Two – After Care

Chapter Three – Dazed and Confused

Chapter Four – I Like You

Chapter Five - Friends and Enemies

Chapter Six - Confrontation!

[bigskydreaming]

fhalkfhaklfhlkak i hate this

TW really truly literally ruined the word ‘spark’ for me. Like the whole damn word. I hear it now and I’m like, NOPE, like...idk, some people who cringe when they hear the word moist or panties. Apologies to anyone who hates those words and cringed, i dont actually know if thats a thing or if like, I just have weird friends. Probably just the latter.

But anyways, Im just like...lmfao. Its so visceral too? Like I have this one original project, Waveriders, that I’ve been fiddling with off and on in the background of other projects for awhile, might have talked about it on here, idk, I don’t keep track. 

Basically its a far future sci-fi novel/setting for linked shorter works set on a gas giant that was settled by humans who figured that they can’t possibly be stepping on anyone’s toes there, its a freaking gas giant, hello, no one’s home, right? They literally have to make their own ground by using technology to form anti-gravity wells in the habitable zone of the atmosphere and like, make floating cities and then these kind of buoys scattered across the planet that create these electromagnetic currents that flow in specific ‘routes’ between the cities, and people travel between them in these flying ships that use magnetized hulls and solar sails to ride these currents, and blah blah blah, yada yada yada, bc like, why would I resist an opportunity to have floating cities and sky pirates and ancient cyborg machine dragons? Doesn’t make sense. 

Anyway, so couple thousand years after settling this planet, and by then for Plotty Reasons there are people who have what’s called waveriding abilities, like they can ‘hack’ certain wavelengths or types of energy and manipulate them in various ways, but only one kind of energy per person, and they each have their own little names and niches. 

So, y’know, basically just like ATLA, except for like, its energy powers and there are cyborg machine dragons and floating cities and sky pirates, obvsly. Plus areas of totally fucked up gravity called the badlands that are all like, criminal underworld metropolis because normal people are like lol nope, we like it when up is up and down is down, all of this is very just...nope. And also because shocking and totally unexpected plot twist, they were totally wrong about the planet being uninhabited just cuz it didn’t have Earth type ground...like, so in addition and on top of and in conjunction with all of the above and whatnot, there are these beings called Chaos Angels, that are basically like sentient quantum waveforms that can take any shape or appearance, but just, have no physical substance and yet are really good at faking that they’re not totally there when they fuck with humans, which they do a lot, because well. Why not, y’know?

But other than that, its exactly like ATLA. I’m a derivative hack. I disgust myself, truly I do.

BUT the point of this particular synaptic misfire aka ADHD ramble, is that so, okay, these different types of not!benders are all called waveriders as an overall umbrella term, but with ten different subsets of this in total, right? So people who can ‘hack’ light and manipulate it in various ways are called brightriders, and people who are tuned into soundwaves are called echo-riders, and some can manipulate the more electricity-skewed side of the electromagnetic spectrum and those are shockriders and the ones who skew more to the magnetic side are steelriders but I’m probably gonna change that because it sounds like a porno? Yeah no, just saw it outside of my notes for the first time and can confirm, definitely sounds like a porno so they’re not gonna be called steel-riders, but they will be called something steel-rider-esque. You get it.

And then there are the five weird ones that people aren’t totally quite sure how their waveriding shticks work because the kinds of energy they hack aren’t like....the kinds that work in the same way as the others with their easily discernible and patternistic wavelengths, and scientists and scholars are always arguing like but skyriders aren’t even in the same FIELD as the other waverider types because gravity isn’t even an actual ENERGY, just because we talk about gravity waves doesn’t mean they’re remotely the same thing as lightwaves, they make no SENSE, and I’m just like hahaha, I am your god, fictional scientists. Fucking deal with it. Plus it does make sense, you just don’t know the Secret Rules and Logistics that I do, pfft. 

Anyway, so the other types are boomriders who hack kinetic energy and skyriders of course obviously manipulate gravity, and then the last three are really weird, and super rare and thus don’t really have set names and just have lots of nicknames and are often just thought to be rumors. So those are the bio-riders who manipulate chemical energy though it often gets mistakenly referred to or just handwaved as being ‘life energy’ as though that’s a thing, ugh future way advanced people are so dumb sometimes, honestly. But so they can manipulate biological processes in various ways and do things with healing and also hurting, and basically just don’t piss one off ever. Like. You’ll die. And then there’s the psi-riders, who are essentially psychics and hack brainwaves, and I’m not at all bitter that I lack the balls to just go for broke and call them ghost riders like I want to, because ghost riders obviously sounds way cooler?? But also, Marvel would definitely sue?? Because they’re just, like that. 

And like, the last of the Weird Ones are the ones so super rare and also so hard to actually....tell if someone actually IS one, that most people think they don’t actually even exist and are just an unsubstantiated like, theoretical idea some scientist had once while high and then just, never shut up about so eventually the idea caught on. And those are the quantum-riders, or luck-riders, basically they theoretically manipulate quantum wavelengths in ways that are almost impossible to identify, like theoretically they wouldn’t even know they were doing it? Anyway, so lots of times, what are actually quantum-riders are just jealously thought to be like, really fucking lucky assholes. Even though the way their powers work really don’t have anything to do with luck or even probability, specifically, like that’s a simplistic approximation and its more like they manipulate possibilities but also shut up me, nobody cares.

ANYWAY, people who can count and who actually bothered to would probably notice by now like the funky little geniuses they are that all of those still only adds up to nine. And that’s because of the last one, the one that SHOULD go up in the brightrider, shockrider, notpornIswear!steel-rider hierarchy or taxidermy or whatever the fuck. And these are the ones who manipulate what’s essentially thermal energy, or more accurately the microwave-skewing side of the ultraviolet spectrum whereas brightriders are just the ones who skew more to the infrared side of it.

And the long and short of all of this Unnecessary-ness and the source of my fit of pique and ensuing ramble-palooza....is that ORIGINALLY, they were SUPPOSED to be called sparkriders.

But OBVIOUSLY I can’t call them that anymore, because like. I tried, and I was like ugh you drama queen slash whiny pissbaby, it was just a shitty teen supernatural show and SPARK WAS NEVER EVEN CANON, do not let THEM win and ruin a perfectly good classification name! But I did. I did let it ruin them, and its. Well. Its a problem, because I kept thinking up ways to kill off the sparkrider characters for absolutely no reason at all instead of like....thinking up ways to make the plot do what it was outlined to do in their parts of the story.

This may come like, way out of left field, and just SHOCK and STUN and BEWILDER some of you, like....no way, srsly? But yeah, true story, among my many canon mental neuroses like ADHD, PTSD, magical depression hour and super fun anxiety like....there is a tiny possibility (aka actual diagnosis) that while I don’t talk about this much, or ever really, I do have a smidge of ye old OCD? Its not like, a big thing and doesn’t really affect my daily routines and that’s pretty much why I never usually bring it up or list it alongside the rest of the crap on my neurodivergence resumé or whatever, because like, there’s already WAY too many misconceptions out there about what OCD actually is and what constitutes it, and tons of people are always jokingly but also thinking they’re kinda half serious, like ‘oh I’m so OCD about this and this and that’ and its like. LOL. Are you though? You sure?

Anyway, but point being, the way mine manifests for me is like...not actually a problem? Like, I don’t actually have any REAL complaints about it at all, just half-assed little fits of pique ones like this, which is the other part of why I never bring it up, because too often ppl just can’t fathom that OCD or even any kind of neurodivergence can be...WANTED, or a good thing, and lololol, that’s ableism, folks. But its true, I don’t actually mind mine at all, even if it occasionally makes things frustrating, when I get stuck like I am now. But the flip side of it is....its actually a pretty huge part of my creativity and just the way my mind works in general....like, what people accredit to me being particularly insightful about character analysis or drawing connections or stuff like that in meta or fics or my novels or worldbuilding...that’s what it is. That’s my OCD in action. 

My brain like...REQUIRES that I find patterns in....pretty much everything. Even day to day mundane stuff too, though like I said, its mild enough there that it doesn’t fuck with my routines too much, but like, I have to order things into nice, neat patterns and groupings. And if there aren’t any that are immediately obvious, I kinda pretty much HAVE to dig deeper until I find some on a slightly deeper level, something beneath the surface or first glance, and keep going until I find something.....or worst case scenario, I have to like....add stuff and embellish and fill in gaps with my own ‘content’ until I have the rough edges rounded off into something that CAN be stacked neatly atop some other part of the story or whatever it is I’m focusing on? And the obsessive-compulsive part for me is like, lol, I gotta find it SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW. 

My brain literally won’t shut off or grudgingly accept being diverted to a different subject until I’ve made some kind of pattern or flowchart or classification system. It will literally keep me up for hours, going over the same things over and over from every angle until I find SOME way to....reassemble or restructure it in some nice, neat little order of some type. I mean that’s basically what it is. My brain insists on me forming some semblance of order out of any glimpse I have of what I would otherwise term creative chaos. And it won’t give up until it gets what it wants, which when you throw in my ADHD and how often I’ll get derailed off on slight tangents but with my OCD then sooner or later forcing me back to the original focus, rinse and repeat ad nauseam....like. LOL. I learned to operate on very little sleep from a pretty young age by necessity, its just...my brain, dudes. Its just like that.

But the perks are like, I pretty much think this is WHY I’m so creative....because my brain, for as long as I can remember, has always just kinda....forced me to be? Also probably has a lot to do with well...eh, I don’t need to talk about that right now. Whatever. Anyway, point being, so....I do like the end results very much so, and for all its....Why Must You Be Like This eccentricities, I’m quite attached to my brain and would not be very likely to agree to a trade even were one possible. I mean don’t get me wrong, I could do without the PTSD and anxiety, if we’re just, like....talking some pruning shears or whatever, but the actual creative machinery, I’m keeping. Ultimately it just means I really fucking like patterns and finding patterns or making patterns where previously there were none, or at least none that were easy to spot.

But ugh, man, these are the rare times when I’m like omg, just call it a day, we don’t ACTUALLY have to come up with the perfect replacement name for that one relatively small and insignificant detail of a much larger story that isn’t even in the Top Ten list of my main priorities at the moment. And my asshole of a brain is just like....yeah no, we gotta. You know the rules dude, you decided it was official, that name didn’t work anymore and was never gonna, so now we gotta find a replacement or else things will be UNEVEN?? The pattern will be...missing a piece? There will be CHAOS AND ANARCHY IN THE STREETS THAT RUNNETH OVER WITH BLOOD? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

And so I’m like....literally sitting here googling synonyms for spark because I’m just like that sometimes, lmfao. Oh and of course its gotta be a GOOD replacement, naturally. I can’t just shoehorn in a somewhat acceptable substitute that in the back of my mind I’m expecting to only be temporary, until I come up with something better. See, because my brain will KNOW, and it will NOT be okay with that, because that is CHEATING. And my brain, apparently, has strong feelings about cheating, which is weird and fairly unexpected of me, IMO.

Anyway, kudos to anyone who actually read through that instead of scrolling, I honestly have zero idea why I felt like sharing it, I just did and thus I did. *shrugs* 

[80alleycats]

Old Lady House: A Situation Comedy Thoughts

So, I saw the “Old Lady House” episode and it was exactly how I pictured it: very simple and a little bit weird. I’ll admit that I enjoyed it a LOT more when I watched it the second time.

I want to say it’s one of the “weaker” episodes, but it was an easy watch and I believe it’s always a good idea to have “easy” episodes every now and then. I’m definitely looking forward to the next episodes.

Here is a list of some of things I liked. 

SPOILERS below:

Charlie to Mac: “Your mom stopped calling you the day the phone was invented.” That was so cold I’m weak. XD

OMG Bonnie’s letter to Charlie. So many questions. Did she write it that way because she thought he’d understand her that way? Do they both just have a preference for symbols? 

I really liked Dee being concerned about the rest of the Gang wanting to put cameras in Bonnie’s/Mrs. Mac’s house and the commentary on the invisibility of older women.

Mac: “Oh, my mom also thought I was dead and she also loves me very much.” Mrs. Mac: *Groaning Sound* “No, I don’t.” Aww my baby Mac. ;_;

“We-we could also get some soup.” I love when Charlie is on another wavelength compared to everyone else.

Bonnie with the hammer about to brain Mrs. Mac reminded me of Charlie with the hammer in "Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia.” I don’t know if that was intentional or not but I love it. :D

“Hey, I smell chips. What are we watching?” Frank literally bounces into the office. So adorable. XD

Mac: “I don’t understand. Is this a dark situation or a comical one?” DAT META.

Bonnie to Mrs. Mac: “You are a horrible woman and I can’t wait until those cigarettes kill you. I shall dance on your grave.” This is such a Dennis-type thing to say I’m screaming. XD

Mrs. Mac hacking a loogie into the ashtray. NO F*CKS GIVEN. I love how it’s gross but at the same time totally normal because no one is supposed to be watching her in the first place. XD

I love the continuity of Bonnie’s anxiety (and OCD?) issues and her fear of Charlie dying. I believe that Charlie faking his death in the "Mac and Charlie Die” episodes heavily contributed to her current mental state. It’s all rather heartbreaking, but Dennis (and Charlie, to some degree) simply sees her as tv star material. 

Chardennis is one of my lowkey crack ships, so, of course, I loved it when Dennis patted Charlie’s leg. XD

Dee, in that adorable Hawaiian shirt, rolling in the house, doing her terrible comedy, and the absolute silence and confused stares had me weak. XD

Dennis: “Yeah, that creepy pedophile vibe is gonna be a tough sell. Even in Europe.” I’m crying XD

Of course super-codependent-with-his-sister Dennis would think trying to make Uncle Jack Bonnie’s “love interest” is a thing to do. -_-

OLD LADY HOUSE THEME SONG! ^_^

Bonnie spraying Mrs. Mac in the face with bug spray after Mrs. Mac blew smoke in her face. XD

Dee has been in the banister for at LEAST a day and no one is helping her. ;_;

Charlie: “I love all the letters flying around on the screen.” :D

Dennis put a camera in Bonnie’s bedroom...WHAT THE F*CK? Any pretense that Dennis was just trying to do a “regular” tv show went out the window. WAIT. WAIT. WHAT THE F*CK DENNIS IS GOING TO WATCH HIS DAD HAVE SEX WITH HIS FRIEND’S MOM?! I know Dennis barely sees Frank as his dad at this point but holy sh*t this is some dark sh*t on MULTIPLE levels.

I thought it was cute that Mrs. Mac let Mac maneuver her around in front of the cameras. She didn’t know what was going on but she didn’t even protest and that was...that was actually kind of nice. :D

LOL at the fact that Charlie couldn’t even understand Bonnie’s letter.

I just love how Bonnie and Mrs. Mac’s relationship is just like the Gang’s relationships. Just complete life partner train wrecks everywhere.

Bonnie being happy that the Gang is watching her is such a perfect blend of messed up, understandable, sweet, and relatable. 

Mac: “My mom feels the same way. And she also says that she loves me and misses me.” Notice that Mrs. Mac doesn’t audibly disagree. :D

Awww Charlie gets everyone to do a group hug thing. (But Uncle Jack ruins it, of course)

Dee breaking the banister, passing out, farting, and everyone (except Mrs. Mac) laughing is actually a good series finale for “Old Lady House.”

Love it when the Gang compliments Dee. :D

Frank: “I got a four-episode sex arc!” Frank is ridiculous. XD

Dennis: “Now that everyone knows they’re being filmed it’s more like a reality tv show and I just can’t enjoy it when the people who are being filmed know they are being filmed.” JESUS CHRIST, DENNIS.

Dee accidentally pooping herself while trying to fart was so unexpected it made me giggle like an idiot. XD

The reveal that Dennis was secretly recording the Gang in the back office. Dennis’ creepiness is on another level. XD

Overall, I liked how they poked fun at laugh track sitcoms. It wasn’t too mean-spirited and it showed that a show can be funny with a laugh track.