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punkscowardschampions · 3 years ago

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Rio & Buster

Rio: I just got the last of my stuff from Dan’s… so that’s officially dealt with and done

Rio: You said your parents had a conference THIS weekend, right?

Buster: Yeah? So he’ll still be crying by then, but you don’t have to be, ‘cause I did say that, they’re [deets] all weekend

Rio: You don’t need to concern yourself with how he is or isn’t feeling ever again, sweet as that is, babe

Rio: Great, because I have likewise just finished convincing my mum that Nance needs some quality girl time and she, for some reason, can’t come here as per and I NEED to go to yours

Rio: I can even pull a sickie Monday so Sunday can really count too

Buster: The party I’m gonna throw is a perfect cover for why you’ve gotta be here with Nance, there ain’t a bigger cunt move than inviting everyone from school to swarm all over our house, and it’ll work for how loudly you’re gonna wanna tell me you miss me when you can get a second away from her

Rio: Even if her go-to is locking herself in her room, I’ll convince her it’ll be more fun to join in

Rio: hers is not the room I don’t wanna leave the whole time I’m there, like

Rio: 🤔 I might be able to invite some people to come hang with her

Rio: Your party will have plenty to offer for people that aren’t me, yeah?

Buster: ‘Course, it’s me hosting it, it’ll have everything

Rio: I won’t oversell it quite that hard 😏

Rio: but I know people who’ll be down

Rio: Ava went with them, or is she coming here?

Buster: Get her drunk and you can come see me play on Sunday before she’s even awake to realise you’re gone

Buster: Ava’s going to a friend’s after school on Friday ‘til they get back, probably having her own kid party, like

Rio: I can just wanna drool over the other lads on your team

Rio: she’ll think that’s standard straight girl behaviour and not bother to get out of bed for it

Rio: Cute

Buster: You can wanna before you’ve seen any of ‘em, yeah

Buster: Long as she steers clear of the Brandy in her friend’s parents drinks cabinet, it’ll be fine

Rio: The whole squads busted? Awkward

Rio: Luckily you know my actual motivation to get up at the crack of dawn

Rio: Undoubtedly, she’s smarter than us

Rio: I know all my siblings make me feel like a total idiot in comparison

Buster: Compared to me

Buster: She’s less reckless than me, but less cautious than Nance, as combinations go, I reckon she’ll do alright with that

Buster: I ain’t sorry for living dangerously though and an idiot is the last thing I feel like

Rio: I don’t need to see them to know that

Rio: Good, because if you were going to turn around and tell me not to come already…

Rio: I was scared you’d get back to London and not talk to me again like before

Rio: like, I didn’t think you would with my rational brain but that other 10% or whatever

Buster: I was thinking you’d not be able to get to London without the excuse of someone getting married or born or dying, shouldn’t have underestimated you, or how much my sister didn’t wanna come back

Rio: Mum is pretty chill, it’s more explaining it when your parents are about

Rio: or when you suddenly want to come here again

Buster: Thank Christ they never are

Rio: It does work in our favour

Rio: and if I wanna see the sights, no one is going to be mad at me staying safe and staying with family to do so, right?

Rio: it’s mainly Nance who we need to worry about

Buster: We don’t have to worry about anything, she’s preoccupied with her own shit

Rio: Yeah, can’t argue with that

Rio: or blame her

Buster: That said, we won’t take unnecessary risks

Rio: When you put it like that, I obviously want to

Rio: only the necessary ones then

Rio: because some are

Buster: Right now they all feel like they are

Rio: Tell me about it

Rio: I feel like I’ve barely been here because I wanna be with you so bad

Buster: Alright, I’ll tell you about how I hard I get when I think about seeing you again so I couldn’t come to the airport even armed with the best excuse to ‘cause a glimpse of you would mean I’d have no choice but to stay in the car and then immediately pile all your suitcases on top of me

Rio: Now I’m going to miss you even more on the drive to yours

Rio: How am I not going to just jump on you as soon as I see you

Buster: I’ll make sure you don’t see me until you can

Rio: Is it better to have the party in full-swing when I arrive or is there any chance we can be properly alone before?

Rio: Could ask Nance to get snacks and stuff for my arrival, that’s a believable amount of cheek from me and would get her out of the house for at least long enough to say hello properly if we time it right

Buster: We’ll time it right then, just ‘cause she ain’t throwing a party don’t mean she can get away with being a shit host

Rio: I think that makes sense

Rio: your friends aren’t going to just ignore me straight away, that’s just facts not being cocky

Rio: so it might take a while to get lost during

Buster: Yeah, they don’t all show up wasted, some of ‘em can handle their pre-drinks

Rio: I should hope so, even if they’re all posh boys

Rio: otherwise the friends I’m gathering could be unimpressed enough to trash your place and that isn’t the energy we’re looking for

Buster: Only if we could convince Nance to handle the clean up on her own and the line of how much of a pushover she is has gotta be drawn somewhere

Rio: I somehow can’t see it

Rio: especially as they’re meant to cheer her up, not do the opposite

Rio: At least your place is big

Buster: And I’ve only got the one sibling getting in our way, it’s fucking never-ending at yours

Rio: There is double the amount of us compared to yous

Rio: If I can handle them, this will be easy

Buster: Exactly

Rio: When we go to your match, can we go somewhere after, get some breakfast or something

Buster: My victory ain’t gonna celebrate itself, babe, and I know just the place

Rio: I’m excited 😁😁

Rio: For all of it, not just the promise of breakfast, obviously

Buster: I’d do more if I could, I want to, but it’ll look weird if I take you shopping or whatever before Nance can

Rio: I know

Rio: we can’t take those kind of risks yet

Rio: It’ll be easier when we’re a bit older and me showing up on a whim to shop is more plausible

Rio: I swear this is the worst age to be, no one totally trusts you to be an adult but you don’t get treated like the kids either when they want you to be ‘grown up’ 🙄

Buster: There has to be a way we can go from everyone believing we hate each other to not thinking it’s fucked we wanna spend time together like we used to without having to wait that long

Rio: You’d think but I can’t 🤔

Rio: Unless you want your whole perception with the rest of the fam to change too

Rio: Obviously it’s fine that we’ve got more in common, we’re closest in age

Rio: but if you don’t give the rest the time of day at all, that’ll raise eyebrows

Buster: I taught them all how to fight and play football, didn’t I? It ain’t my fault Grace isn’t into any of that, or that Nance and your brother are the real anti-social ones

Rio: Yeah, but that was a while ago now

Rio: I doubt anyone would say anything but it’ll probably be weird you showing up at fam functions again for a while

Rio: but only in a way that ultimately benefits you, they’ll think you’re growing up and being all mature

Buster: Fuck’s sake, I can hear everyone now, the bullshit they’d have to say

Rio: Yeah, it’ll make you wanna die

Rio: but I’ll make it worth it

Buster: You already have, I’ll do it for you, I’d do anything

Rio: You know I will for you too

Rio: Including ditching your sister as much as is possible without being a total bitch

Buster: She’s still as heavy a sleeper as she always was

Rio: That is a theory we’re going to have to test

Rio: There’s zero chance I can promise to be quiet all weekend

Buster: Me either, but I like our odds after my solo tests

Rio: That was so 🤓 sounding but also 🤤

Rio: Rude

Buster: Call it preparation, that’s who I am here, like

Rio: I know who you are

Buster: Good, don’t forget ‘cause of who I have to be

Rio: Up until very recently you were still treating me like you hated me, remember

Rio: I can handle it

Buster: You’ve never been here, however I’ve treated you at family functions is still toned down, Nance doesn’t hate me for no reason, you know

Rio: I’m not her though

Buster: I don’t want you to have to handle it anymore, that’s all

Rio: You have to do what you have to do

Rio: You live there, I don’t

Rio: Say what you want to your friends

Buster: Okay

Rio: It is okay

Rio: I mean, what’s the alternative?

Rio: I understand why you have to

Buster: Like you said, this age is shit, there won’t be an alternative until we’re older

Rio: Yeah, if you even think about treating me like this when you go to Uni

Rio: I don’t care what your friends think about me

Rio: it’s not like I plan to just take it anyway

Buster: You didn’t have to be so hot about it or get me thinking about how incredible the future is gonna be when the present is torturous enough

Rio: Yeah I did

Rio: can’t have you forgetting how you really feel about me

Rio: Maybe you can just stay at Uni forever

Rio: it’s practically expected you won’t keep in touch or come home enough

Rio: we can be together every day, with no one around to interrupt us

Buster: That’s settled then

Rio: 😄🥰

Buster: What time’s your flight?

Rio: [a time early enough that the party won’t be on and we’re keen

but not so early Nancy will be like umm can you not come then lol]

Buster: You really want me to keep feeling a type of way about you, yeah?

Rio: That should be obvious by now

Rio: You can’t get sick of me ever

Buster: It should be obvious by now that I won’t

Rio: Don’t

Rio: Everything’s changed for good

Rio: I have

Buster: Even if I still wanted to pretend, I can’t, I barely could before, it’s not gonna happen, Rio

Rio: Me either, I’m scared I can barely pretend as much as we need to to stop doing it in private

Rio: never mind fully going fucking back

Buster: You’ll do what you have to as well, I know you and what you can handle even if I don’t like that it’s the way things are

Rio: I’m sick of thinking about what I have to do, what I need is you

Buster: You’ve got me, whether you’re here or not, whatever else is going on in your head or what bullshit is happening around us, I’m with you for it

Rio: I love you

Buster: I love you too

Rio: What kind of thing do Chelsea girls wear to house parties then?

Buster: Nothing you ever would

Buster: It's really bad, like

Rio: 😂

Rio: Okay, I’ll look good and stand out instead of trying to match the energy then

Buster: There really ain't no alternative in this instance, babe

Rio: You won’t be into my cosplay, noted 😏

Buster: Not unless it was the school uniform you were planning on nicking, anything else they wear isn't gonna do fuck all for either of us

Rio: Obviously I have that outfit

Rio: If you can think of any valid reason I’d have that packed, like

Buster: Insisting on costumes before my birthday is a weird flex but I've done worse

Rio: They’d be fuming at the lack of notice

Rio: plus I’d never convince your sister to leave her room if she has to wear a stupid costume

Rio: next time

Buster: I do wanna see what you're gonna wear for me when you're not also dressing for a wedding/Easter egg hunt

Rio: Good thing you aren’t the only one who can rise to the challenge under pressure

Rio: I’m pretty sure I know exactly what you like, as I’ve had to dress to get your attention for years now

Rio: It’s how much attention you want your friends to be paying me too

Buster: However you dress all eyes will be on you anyway, from the moment you walk in, I can and will give you every compliment on what you’re wearing and how you look, obviously, but it ain’t stopping there

Buster: It’s everything else too, from the way you move to what you do and don’t say, it’s exactly what I like ‘cause I’ve got good taste, and if they’ve got any, they’re gonna wanna rise to the challenge of trying to get your attention

Rio: You’re the one who always knows exactly what to say

Rio: I’m so lucky

Rio: so they can try, no one but you registers for me

Buster: It’s not luck, what I say is in direct response to you and how you make me feel, the try hard girls ‘round here who haven’t ever registered for me would be lucky to get a second of eye contact Buster: You know you deserve every word and gesture

Rio: I’d attempt sympathy if I didn’t know how bitchy they were

Buster: Don’t or I’d have be more serious in offering it to the paperboy

Rio: 😏

Rio: I think I feel bad enough for both of us, it’s fine

Buster: No it ain’t, you’ve got fuck all to feel bad about, he wasn’t good enough for you, end of

Rio: I can still feel sorry for him

Rio: Obviously it was the right thing to do

Buster: He’ll feel sorry enough for himself for not keeping hold of you, as he should

Rio: Bless him

Buster: He’s not someone to waste any more of your time thinking about, like I said, it’s his loss

Rio: I’m not

Rio: All I really think about is you

Buster: As long as you’re not feeling sorry for me

Rio: I have a bit more self-esteem than that, babe

Buster: If you don’t now you will when you get here

Rio: You wouldn’t risk it if I wasn’t worth it

Rio: Likewise

Rio: There’s no pretending you aren’t just

Rio: everything I want

Buster: It’s not a risk ‘cause we won’t get caught, but I’d want you even if it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done instead of the only thing that makes sense

Rio: You know what I mean though

Rio: even if we never get caught

Rio: it could still be a total headfuck

Buster: Nothing’s gonna change my mind, however much of a headfuck it is, we’ll handle it, it’s not gonna be worse than what we’ve already had to

Rio: Seeing you before was honestly tortuous

Rio: as much as I’d dread what you would say, how much you’d ignore me and I’d have to ignore you

Rio: I also wanted to savour every second of it and it was never long enough

Buster: Seeing who you’d bring nearly killed me every time, and them, but as much as I wanted them to fuck off, it was the thought that you’d follow ‘em out if they did that I dreaded most, ‘cause yeah, for all the family functions, there was still never enough time even with every second I then spent reliving it later

Rio: I never did though

Rio: I couldn’t miss anything, even if all I missed was more ignoring

Buster: Don’t act like I could ever really ignore you

Rio: Didn’t you sometimes believe it

Rio: Think you were convincing yourself that there was something there that wasn’t

Buster: I sometimes believed you wanted me to

Rio: Exactly, we both must’ve ‘wanted’ that on some level some of the time

Rio: even if we really wanted the opposite, both could be true, you know

Buster: I don’t just do whatever the hell I want, contrary to popular belief, you know

Rio: Of course I do

Rio: This is big

Buster: I knew what I wanted then, now and always

Rio: I just wish things were simpler

Rio: but they aren’t, and I can and will handle how they are

Buster: How I feel is the part that is, and I’ll do whatever I can to keep the rest as simple as possible for you

Rio: This is better than what we were doing, that’s a start

Buster: Yeah, but I can do better

Rio: I don’t know if I can handle better 🥴

Buster: I definitely don’t believe that, babe

Rio: We’ll have fun working out who’s right

Buster: I am, but you won’t mind being proved wrong

Rio: I need it to be the weekend NOW

Buster: I can’t give you that, which is making me angry, so where are you now?

Rio: Home

Rio: Meant to be doing homework

Buster: Anyone else meant to be doing it with you?

Rio: Even if there was, you know they aren’t

Buster: [Obviously call her cos you miss her and are extra]

Rio: I love hearing your voice

Buster: It was starting to feel like forever since I’d heard yours

Rio: Day to day is so normal and boring without you I don’t even know what to do

Buster: I’ll have to keep doing what I can to make sure you’re not bored

Rio: The problem isn’t you it’s everything else

Rio: you’re never boring

Buster: Which is exactly why it’s a problem I can solve by helping you forget about everything else

Rio: I love you

Rio: so, do you actually like any of your friends or what’s the craic

Rio: I’ll be less rude to those ones if you do

Buster: Of course I don’t, what’s to like?

Rio: I don’t know, I’ve never met them

Rio: I know the people Nancy particularly dislikes, if only by name

Rio: but they’re actually your quote unquote friends, some of them might be okay, to you anyway

Buster: Come on, don’t underestimate yourself, you’ve met me and admitted to checking my socials regularly

Buster: You’ll be as good a judge as I am who to avoid at the weekend and who you could take a shot with without risking that boredom again

Rio: I was mainly giving you a chance to talk about it

Rio: I doubt anyone else is asking

Buster: And I’m giving you the chance to make up your own mind, I already said don’t feel sorry for me

Rio: I will regardless

Rio: and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to

Buster: I know I don’t, like you don’t need my permission to treat any of the partygoers however you want to, whether I reckon they’re a cunt or not

Rio: You don’t need to be sarky about it

Buster: You don’t need to be patronising about it either, like, how that shit is is how it’s been for long enough that I know what I’m doing

Rio: I wasn’t being patronising, I was trying to talk to you but I won’t fucking bother then

Buster: That’s an impossibly quick turnaround from me not having to talk about it if I don’t want to, but fine

Rio: We’ve talked about stuff like that before

Rio: I told you how I don’t feel like one of them properly either here; so what, you suddenly don’t want to talk to me about anything important?

Buster: What do you want me to say? I’m not drunk now and I’m not Nance

Rio: Fine

Rio: I have things I should be doing anyway

Buster: Don’t be like that, you know I wanna talk to you about everything, it doesn’t mean it’s that simple

Rio: If you didn’t want to, then just say that

Rio: You don’t need to turn it into a whole thing and act like I’m the idiot for asking

Buster: That’s what I do, or did, before

Rio: Old habits and all that, sure

Buster: I’m sorry, to start a new one

Rio: Okay, we can rewind to before that whole part of this conversation

Buster: No, you’re right, we should talk about it, otherwise what I said about being able to do better, anything I’ve said to big myself up, is bullshit and I might as well get a paper round too

Rio: There’s nothing wrong with a paper round 😏

Rio: I’m not asking you to be ‘perfect’

Rio: whatever that even is

Rio: I just genuinely thought you might want to talk about it, that’s all

Buster: As a kid, but however immature that lot are, I ain’t one any more and I don’t wanna be dragged down to their fucking level, ‘cause I’m above it

Buster: So are you, my definition of perfect at least, I wanna be someone who deserves you, not the kind of cunt who feels so powerless all he can do is bitch and moan about it, but I know lashing out at being backed into a corner ain’t no better this time or what I want either, not when you’re the target

Buster: There’s usually something I can actually do, options I have, that’s who I am, but keeping the two worlds separate isn’t gonna work now that you’re the centre of both

Rio: You already deserve me, no conditions

Rio: but I’m not going to hold you to the standard you have to be with your friends, or judge you for doing it, I’d do the same

Buster: I told you they bring out the worst in me, there are no standards

Rio: How else are you meant to fill your time

Rio: We’re teenagers, not adults just because we’re not kids

Rio: You don’t have to judge yourself that harshly for it

Buster: Why not? Everyone else is, including you not long ago

Rio: It’s not something your parents can really get on board with

Rio: and only because you were being a twat to me, that’s not necessary to the rest of it, surely

Buster: I didn’t mean them, but whatever

Buster: It was all connected, part of what I had to do

Rio: No one’s gonna thank you for being a prick, especially if they can’t see your reasoning and motivations

Rio: Maybe she should be able to but she’s preoccupied with her own feelings towards it all

Rio: If you’re fed up of feeling like the bad guy, you have to find time when you ain’t, or of course you’re gonna feel like that’s who you actually are

Buster: I know

Rio: I don’t think you’re the bad guy

Rio: Ava doesn’t

Buster: She doesn’t yet, there’s loads of time for it though before I’m done with school and everyone there

Rio: Respectfully, I don’t think you’ll have to fail to protect her from bullies

Rio: Not that it is that simple, but you know what I’m saying

Rio: She’ll be, what, 12/13, when you get done with school, it’s not gonna happen

Buster: That’s not the only way to be a prick is all I’m saying

Rio: Go on

Rio: Why else do you reckon Nancy doesn’t like you now

Buster: Old habits die hard, like you said, and I’ve formed plenty she reckons are bad hanging out with them and if you’ve got things you should be doing it’d be quicker to speculate on what she don’t hate about me by this point

Rio: She’s probably jealous, though it would not be worth pointing that out

Rio: even if she thinks they’re the worst, you still have people to do stuff with and she doesn’t

Buster: Everyone who meets me is, difference is, she knows it’s not effortless, I keep my schedule full, with the good as well as the bad and put work in while she’s doing fuck all but feeling sorry for herself and jealous of what I’ve got

Rio: I think she tries, or at least did try

Rio: but it wasn’t exactly working for her so why bother at this point, right

Buster: You can’t just try once and give up, yeah I scored first time but it took ages before I knocked someone out in the ring, ‘course you’re gonna get nowhere if you don’t make what you want happen

Rio: I don’t think she wants it though

Rio: you’re making the best out of a bad situation, yeah

Rio: but she’d rather not, that doesn’t mean she loves being friendless, just it’s slightly preferable to being friends with people she doesn’t like

Buster: Nobody’s saying she has to be friends with them, the whole school ain’t against her, she’s got other options

Rio: I’m not saying she’s fully in the right, no way

Rio: She just can’t see further than what they say right now

Buster: I’ve done what I can to make her see sense

Rio: I know

Rio: I just don’t think that’s gonna happen, I’m sorry

Buster: Don’t worry, I wasn’t holding my breath or anything, I know which battles are worth picking

Rio: You’ll get there, just probably not for a while

Rio: She needs to sort herself out, it’s literally not your battle

Buster: Tell me something I don’t know, like

Rio: You clearly do feel a bit responsible

Rio: even if you could have done some things different, doesn’t mean this wouldn’t have still happened and she wouldn’t still feel like this

Buster: She’s my sister, I do have a responsibility to look out for her, but that don’t mean she’s not responsible for making it worse for herself after I’ve done everything I can to try and sort it out

Rio: I don’t disagree

Buster: Good

Rio: I’ll keep talking to her anyway

Rio: even if it doesn’t achieve much either

Buster: If anyone could get through to her it’d be you, I haven’t forgot about any the shit you managed to talk me out of when we were younger

Rio: I wasn’t that much of a fun sponge though thank you

Rio: I said yes to plenty of things too 😏

Buster: Just the things I should probably thank you for, if it wasn't more fun to focus on what you've said yes to, especially recently

Rio: It is more fun to say yes to you, especially recently

Rio: ‘scuse me whilst I enjoy the flashback 🤤🤤🤤

Buster: It's only gonna get more fun

Buster: I can't believe you're actually coming here but the frequency of those flashbacks will keep it feeling real

Rio: Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate from all the fantasies and daydreams from before though, they felt so real

Rio: [pic] that should help

Buster: It’s definitely proof I didn’t need that you won’t have any problem living up to the years of dreams I’ve had

Rio: That’s all I want right now

Rio: I can prove to you how worth it this is all going to be

Buster: It’s always fun to give you what you want, as long as you know you don’t actually have anything left to prove, I knew how worth it this is and would be before you’d ever even touched me

Rio: I have to keep proving it, I can’t take this or you for granted

Rio: I never thought this would actually happen

Rio: I’m not going to waste a second being second best, trust me

Buster: You won't, trust me, there's nobody you could come second to, this is happening 'cause we're joint first and I've never met anyone else I could say that about with a straight face

Rio: It makes perfect sense, when you think about it

Rio: Who else?

Rio: There’s no one else like you and no one else like me

Rio: We’ve both tried

Buster: Exactly, and now the only regret I have is how long I spent fighting against it

Rio: Even if I could fight it longer

Rio: I don’t want to, it’s exhausting

Buster: We don’t have to, Thank Christ, keeping it a secret will seem loads easier by comparison

Rio: Seriously

Rio: not to mention it has all the potential to be kinda fun and pretty hot

Rio: because we won’t get caught, so we can just enjoy the thrill for what it is

Buster: I object to kinda fun and pretty hot, but when we don’t get caught and you’re enjoying the thrill I’ll get you to be much more enthusiastic, like

Rio: 😅

Rio: I’m not as good with words as you, poor baby

Rio: it’s so unfair

Buster: Nah, I object to that too, you’re incredible with words and actions

Rio: Actions, I’ll agree to

Rio: Words I’ll work on

Rio: not everyone likes that

Buster: There’s nothing you need to work on

Rio: 🤏🥺

Buster: I don’t have a single complaint

Rio: I just wanted to hear you say that 😋

Buster: I’ll tell you how perfect you are as many times as you want

Rio: ‘til you can’t speak

Buster: Losing my voice is the only thing that’ll stop me

Rio: Challenge accepted

Rio: I can make it happen before that point

Buster: I’d still be able to use actions to tell you though, the actual challenge would be anyone or anything stopping me doing that

Rio: I definitely can’t pack handcuffs

Rio: LOVE to see their faces at the airport, like

Buster: We’ll think of something else to use that either you can pack or I already have in my room

Rio: I can’t believe I’ve never been in your room

Rio: still weird to think about

Buster: Yeah, like you said, some of the fantasties felt so real

Rio: I wish I could stay in there with you

Buster: Once Nance is asleep you can

Rio: I know, I just don’t wanna think of you on your own

Buster: You won’t get a chance to think about anything like that, don’t worry

Rio: Okay, so what DO I pack

Buster: Your necklace, obviously

Rio: I haven’t taken it off

Rio: it’s so gorgeous 😍

Rio: never met a boy with taste

Buster: Good ‘cause I haven’t either

Buster: You’ve met me, didn’t you think I had taste before?

Rio: You weren’t buying me jewellery and I wouldn’t want to know if you were anyone else

Buster: ‘Course not, but since when is that solely the benchmark for good taste? You’ve seen what I’ve bought myself

Rio: You can have good taste for yourself and terrible taste in girl’s stuff

Rio: You’ve seen what your friends think is hot in the opposite sex

Buster: Other lads can and they do but don’t underestimate me, babe

Rio: No more

Buster: I just wanted to hear you say it

Rio: What else do you wanna hear me say?

Buster: Right now? Everything you probably shouldn't get into the habit of saying even if Nance is out of the way

Rio: [Audio examples of that]

Rio: Can’t call it a habit yet, we’re safe

Buster: You sure? Sounds like it could be becoming a habit to me

Rio: You aren’t going to keep an eye on me to make sure?

Buster: That’s already a habit, you know that, can’t keep my eyes off you

Rio: I don’t mind some codependence

Buster: That’s a relief ‘cause it’s arguably either too early or too late for you to try and change me

Rio: I don’t wanna change you

Buster: ‘Course not, why would you? We’re perfect for each other as is

Rio: and you’re perfect

Buster: You are, but yeah, I’m keeping up

Rio: You are

Rio: on both counts, thank you

Buster: You ain’t seen nothing yet, babe, but you will, when you get here

Rio: Call me? So it doesn’t seem so far off still 😖😩

Buster: [obviously will even though he did earlier because what is chill]

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s0ulhealing · 4 years ago

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Okay, so I went on a date last night.

It was okay~ and I guess i’m glad that I did... just to like get out and do something else, but it wasn’t quite the connection i’m looking for. But honestly I need to do that. I need to get out and date and meet new people. Just to really have a true idea as to what i’m looking for and what i’m not looking for.

So something I gained from going on the date last night was the experience of having a man cook for me. He was absolutely over the moon excited to have me over (almost too excited) and was so accommodating to me being a plant based pescatarian lol. “Plant based” or at least I try to be. I like saying plant based but eats (some)fish more than pescatarian... just sounds better to me. Anyways.

So he was super excited to have me over. Had a glass of wine poured for me when I got there. He bought me a live Lilly and gave that to me as soon as I walked in too. At first, when I was sitting in the kitchen as he was cooking for me I truthfully was mildly attracted to him. Seeing him so confidently cook for me was great. At first our conversation was nice~ and I loved that he seemed to have life plans and goals~ and that he was working towards his own things. Dinner was fantastic. He made a garlic Alfredo sauce from scratch with delicious plump sautéed shrimp, a garlic parsley bread and a ceasar salad. Which like~ if ya know me you’d know that thats like easily a favorite meal of mine. I also super loved his cooking stuff. He cooks in all vintage glassware. Cooks with absolutely no non stick~ all glass and castiorn 🥵 he had this glass bowl which was a vintage >super< rare amethyst color which was just incredible and I will forever be on the hunt at the thrift for that

So we got to know each other over dinner. he was (proudly) in the navy... meh. He used to really be apart of dosio fam and that big ol group of crazies. Used to use psychedelic drugs suuuper heavy but because of that has a very strong opinion and viewpoint on them. He hasnt done anything but ganj and booze for six years or something like that ~ but also considers psyilocibin a “drug” 🥴 and isnt into anything like that at all. But also couldnt connect / didnt care to listen to my side of intentional medicine use with proper space and setting.

He also talked about his ex a lot. And the more he talked about his ex the more I started to notice how much of his ex was still living in his home. I started to connect that the suffering plants were probably once hers... the dog bed that is still in the middle of the living room was hers, and who knows what else. So much so that I asked how long it had even been since they broke up. 1-3 months ish he said. Meh 🥴 too soon. I guess I also wasnt very impressed in the fact that he hardly asked anything about me. Which is okay because it gave me time to get to know him.

I think what really solidified a no from me was when he was talking about being able to kill animals. He said he could never kill an animal that he raised on his own, but by golly gee oh my if his neighbors needed help killing their cow he would be fine with it.

He also wanted me to go fishing with him... but doesnt like hiking.

And honestly once I got stoned and observed and listened more, the more I was not feeling it. I could see that him and I actually would not be able to vibe on a strong level although he was really feeling me.

He also came off super strong~ he literally bought veggie sausage (although sweet) for him to make me breakfast the next morning. Even though I was like I am absolutely not staying the night here whatsoever. It was just too much. I felt a weird pressure that didn’t necessarily need to be there.

I think a big goal in my dating life is connecting to people on a deep level. Conversation is an absolute must. Some people you meet and you just immediately have effortless conversation and THAT is what I am looking for 😌 someone who gets me~ who we can talk back and forth and someone who can just go on and on with me. It takes a lot for me to feel comfy and open up to someone but it also says a lot about our connection. Which i’ve experienced so I know it’s out there. But that’s why it’s important to date. Because each time I discover things I like and things I do not like.

After a lil while of being way too high and listening to music, I went to the bathroom and then decided I was leaving.

He definitely tried to kiss me on my way out and I reciprocated the ‘ol three tap friendship pat, took my lilly and said goodnight.

He offered leftovers to me with the exception I return the pyrex but I politely declined because I did not want that commitment.

I drove home, left the lilly in my car overnight, and proceeded to come home and get extremely fucking high.

I resisted the urge to go down in the basment. I stayed strong and kept to myself.

Baby steps.

Oh what the journey this will be.

😌

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kar3npage · 5 years ago

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One Day We’ll Be Free (But Today is Not That Day)

Inspired by this post from @im-here-fam

Read it here on ao3

A unwanted gift arrives in the mail for Neil and the Foxes nearly a year after Baltimore, bringing back bad memories. Or: Neil is given a flashdrive of videos of him while he was on the run. The Foxes all see.

The envelope it comes in is perfectly unassuming. It’s a relatively small, white, cheap envelope, just the same as most everything that comes in the mail. In fact, Neil is so unconcerned about it that he nearly forgets about it on the kitchen counter top, distracted by Kevin who had been watching Exy highlights and wanted to chat about the Trojans (like he always does. Neil doesn’t mind, he likes talking about them too).

It’s not until Andrew gets home with Aaron and Nicky in tow that Neil remembers it again.

The envelope bulges out where a flash drive sits and the return address is some random, unknown place in the state of New York.

“What’s this?” Nicky asks, refraining from opening it because it has Neil’s name on it. Neil can see the effort it takes him not to mess around with it. He appreciates it, Nicky has been trying not to cross Andrew and Neil’s clear boundaries, but he doesn’t always know what they consider as too far.

“I’m not sure, I got it today in the mail.” Neil gets up to grab it, brushing past Andrew as he does. Aaron moves past them to sit with Kevin. They aren’t friends per se, but they have been trying very hard not to antagonize each other for the sake of Nicky (and Andrew, thought Aaron refuses to admit that).

Andrew’s eyes track Neil’s hands as they tear open the paper and get ahold of the silver flash drive.

Neil catches his eye to see the carefully blank expression on Andrew’s face. He notices the slight crinkle in his brow, mirroring Neil’s own confusion.

“Where’s the return address?” Andrew asks quietly, so Nicky can’t hear. He doesn’t have to worry about that since Nicky has already gotten bored and moved into the other room.

Neil understands the question though. Despite his earlier casual reaction to the mail, the small flash drive is starting to set off alarms in his head. He shows the envelope to Andrew and watches him anxiously to see any hint of recognition at the address. Andrew shakes his head and moves over to the couch.

“Kevin,” Andrew says, showing him the envelope. Kevin looks first at him with glazed eyes, head still stuck in Exy.

“What?”

“Do you know where that is.”

Kevin stares at the paper before shaking his head. He closes the computer after seeing Neil’s expression and focuses his attention on them.

“Why? Who is this from?”

Neil steps forward to answer. “I’m not sure, I got it in the mail this morning. It had this in it.” Neil brandishes the flash drive like it’s a weapon, which it really possibly could be. Neil feels shaky but his hand shows no sign of a tremble. He steps closer to Andrew in an attempt to ground himself.

It’s been over a year since Riko and his father, and Neil has been doing his best to get over the panic that’s been sticking around like a determined collection agency. He has even been talking to Betsy after months of Andrew’s gentle nudging.

Neil curses at himself over the fact that months of hard work are dashed to the ground with a single, small flash drive.

Kevin is already on the phone with Wymack when the upperclassmen join them in their room.

“It’s not a big deal,” Neil can hear himself saying while Nicky catches the upperclassmen up on the situation.

Andrew bumps into him with his shoulder to get his attention. “Don’t say everything is fine,” he says in low tones, fixing Neil with a blank glare.

“Wymack’s on his way,” Kevin announces, still studying the flash drive. Another burst of conversation fills the room, with only Renee and Andrew as silent sentinels.

The ringing of Neil’s phone silences the room all too easily. For a moment, no one moves. Neil grabs the phone off of the living room table where he tossed it earlier. His breath catches when he sees that an unknown number is highlighting his screen. He answers the phone and lifts it to his ear with mechanical motions, mind already leaving his body. Everything about this is too similar to Baltimore. He can’t deal with that again, not after finally being able to catch his breath here. What about Andrew? What about the Foxes?

“Hello?” Neil says into the receiver. His voice comes out stronger than he was expecting it to. Andrew’s hand his hovering over his neck, waiting for the pin to drop.

“You have received a package,” a pleasant female voice says from the other end. “My employer requests that you watch the full video. Do you understand?”

Adrenaline kicks in. “Who is your employer?”

The Foxes react nearly as violently as Neil would like to. Kevin goes sickly pale, sinking into the couch like he can disappear and Nicky grabs his hand, mouth opening but no sound coming out. Allison looks up in alarm towards Renee, who has shifted into a fighting stance. Dan and Matt both take a step toward Neil, but Andrew holds out his hand to hold them back. Even Aaron looks alarmed, half in the bedroom and half out.

“You know the answer to that, Nathaniel. Do you understand his request?” The ‘request’ is clearly an order.

“What would the Master do if we didn’t go through with it?” Kevin makes a pained moan at the mention of Ichirou Moriyama.

“You also know the answer to that. He would also ask that your teammates watch with you.”

“Why?” Neil’s hand has started shaking, but his voice stays firm. Andrews hand on the back of his neck roots him to the room.

“This is a reminder, Nathaniel. You seem to be getting… comfortable. My employer would like you to remember what your purpose is,” she hangs up, cutting off any other questions that Neil has. He lowers the phone slowly and looks at Andrew.

Neil takes a deep breathe. “Is everyone here?” Neil asks, assuming that she meant the original Foxes and not the new ones. Dan knows what he means and takes a quick scan of the room. She nods after doing a quick head count.

“We need to watch whatever is on the drive. Courtesy of Ichirou Moriyama.”

Andrew tightens his grip. “Why?”

“They said I’m getting too comfortable. Kevin, where’s Wymack?”

Kevin doesn’t answer, his frame shaking has he tries to suck in deep breathes. Nicky turns to him and starts speaking as calmly as he can, turning his head to check on Andrew and Aaron every once in a while.

Wymack barges in, saving Neil from having to shake Kevin for answers. His face clears in exhausted understanding as he looks around the room. Dan gives him a quick rundown before he even asks, and they all stare at the silver peeking out of Kevin’s tight grip.

Neil’s head floats outside of his body, Andrew’s grip holding him somewhat close to earth like a child holding the string of a balloon. He watches himself pry the flash drive out of Kevin’s grip and put it into the computer where it sits, forgotten, on the living room table. The room hesitates while he opens the file.

The name of the video shoves Neil solidly back into his body. Nathaniel_Wesninski.avi. Andrew watches him with the same blank expression, but Neil can see the concern in the tension in his shoulders and the quick way that his eyes track Neil’s movements.

“You’re all supposed to watch it with me.”

Wymack’s expression is difficult to read, but he gets the room moving until they are all sitting around the low table. Neil wishes that he knew what was coming. This video could be anything, and his mind keeps coming up with worse and worse options. He waits until they’re all settled before pressing play.

It is so much worse than what his mind has imagined.

It starts with security footage from somewhere in Chicago. Neil is young, 12 or 13, and his mother struggles with one of his fathers goons in an alleyway behind a sketchy tattoo parlor. They had been getting new passports from a less than reliable source. It was a last ditch effort-they had no other option after losing some of the money in a scuffle in Geneva, Illinois. They didn’t have enough money or energy to get to the closest place that Mary had hidden money and they desperately needed to change their names.

Neil watches as his young frame grabs the duffle and runs before another of his fathers men steps out from behind a dumpster and shoots him. There’s a collection gasp in the room and Andrew grabs Neil’s hand, squeezing it almost painfully. Neil squeezes back. He wants to look at Andrew, check to make sure he’s okay but his eyes are glued to the screen. He massages the scar from the bullet wound with his other hand while the scene shifts.

This time it’s shaky phone footage of a speeding vehicle. The clip is short and pixelated, but it’s easy to recognize Neil’s slight frame as the back door of the car opens and a hand shoves him out. The footage rolls up to show the sky as the person holding the phone panics, but it goes back to the road in time to see him rolling on the pavement, then struggling to get up as he clutches his side.

Neil didn’t know that someone had seen that happen-no one had helped him get back up and back to the motel where his mother was waiting for him.

The montage continues, each scene as gruesome as the last. There’s security camera footage of Mary hitting Neil after she had caught him kissing that girl in Montreal, his father smacking his shoulder with that hot iron after he had disappointed him during that dinner. The images flash by until Neil can’t hear the horrified gasps, see the movement as everyone flinches at the attacks, feel Andrew’s hand squeezing so hard he’s losing blood in his hand. He feels numb and he watches with a clinical interest.

The video feels both far too long and ridiculously short. He’s almost proud of himself for not reacting to anything when the last video rolls around.

The basement that it films is far too familiar to Neil. It shows Baltimore, Lola and Romero standing behind his father as he cowers in front of him. Neil’s arms show the livid cuts and burns and his face is almost unrecognizable with the blood covering so much of it. Romero and his father move to hold him down while Lola gets the axe.

Neil’s entire body flinches as he watches the scene. It feels worse to be watching than it did to actually be there. At the time he was in survival mode, just thinking about the next second. Now his head can replay exactly what it looked like as he rolled away just in time when the axe hit the concrete beside him, as Lola held his legs down and his face contorted in pain and terror, and as he crawled away while bullets riddled Romero.

All Neil can think while he watches the worst moment of his life is that he’s incredibly grateful that there isn’t any sound to the video.

That’s when his lungs decide that he can’t handle any more oxygen. He barely notices the end of the video, too focused on trying to breathe.

He has no idea how long he sits there, hyperventilating. It feels like forever that his muscle clench tight and shoulders rise in desperation and his body shakes violently.

“Get out of the way, give him some space,” he hears Andrew order, and the space around him gets colder.

“Neil, listen to me.” Andrew says close to his ear, shaking him a bit to get his attention. “Are you listening? It’s over, he’s dead. You’re at Palmetto State, you’re Neil Abram Josten.”

Neil’s lungs scream for air and he can barely hear Andrew over his gasping.

“Abram.” Andrew says, and Neil nods to show him he’s trying to listen. “Abram,” he says again. His one hand holds the back of Neil’s neck, grounding him, while the other still clutches his hand.

“You aren’t there any more, it’s done.”

“Except it’s not, is it?” Kevin’s frantic voice punctures the air. “Because the Moriyama’s-”

His voice cuts off and there’s the sound of a scuffle. Neil ignores it to listen to Andrew.

“Stop it.” Andrew says, reminding him of that time in the hotel after Baltimore. Neil huffs out a choked laugh and leans his head back against the sofa to take a full breath.

He stays like that until his breathe evens out and his body only shivers every once in a while.

“He’s dead?” he says, meaning to say it as a statement but it coming out more as a question.

Andrew leans over and bumps his forehead gently against Neil’s. “Yes, he’s dead. It’s over.”

Neil nods and opens his eyes finally. The room has emptied out and someone took the computer. Andrew hovers in front of him and Neil is shocked to see that his eyes are shiny. He gives Neil’s hand another squeeze before taking it away.

“I’m going to make tea. Do you want me to call Bee?”

Neil shakes his head no. He’s still getting settled with Betsy, and he knows that he’ll talk to her about this...eventually. Right now though, he just wants to make sure that his Foxes are okay.

“Where did everyone go?” he winces at his hoarse voice.

“Abby’s. We’re all staying there for the night.”

Neil opens his mouth to protest, but nods instead. “Can I have a shower first?” he finally says, though he isn’t sure how he’s going to get the strength to not only stand in a shower but then get to Abby’s after as well.

The simple chores seem like they would take herculean effort after this.

Andrew doesn’t respond, just hands Neil is warm mug and helps him to his feet. “No. I think a bath would be better.” Andrew says and Neil nods in relief.

They don’t have baths in the dorms, so Andrew packs them a bag and Neil follows him to the Maserati.

His skin feels like it’s just been scrubbed and a part of Neil realizes that everyone just saw his life flash before their eyes. He feels naked after that, and he’s not sure how he’ll be able to face the team now that they’ve seen his darkest moments.

“Stop it.” Andrew says, eyes on the road.

“Stop what?”

“Thinking. You’re hurting my head.” Neil relaxes into a small smile and lets his head lean against the window.

Stepping into Abby’s house is much harder than Neil thought that it would be. Andrew gives him a few minutes to stand outside in despair, but he eventually opens the door, ignoring the panicked look Neil gives him.

They’ve barely gotten inside before Nicky bowls him over in a tight hug. Neil tentatively hugs him back, not quite sure where to put his hands. Andrew pulls Nicky away when it gets to be too much, giving him a dirty look. Aaron nods in acknowledgement at Neil from the kitchen where he’s been coerced into helping Abby. Wymack and Kevin are nowhere to be seen, but Neil can hear murmuring coming from a bedroom down the hallway.

Matt is the next to approach, Dan in tow. He reaches out before looking at Andrew and tucking his hand back in Dans.

“You know if you want to talk about anything…” he lets the sentence trail off and Neil nods gratefully. He’s been friends with Matt long enough that he might even be able to take up that offer someday. Dan pushes Nicky out of the way and hugs Neil fiercely, reminding him of that night that he finally told them the truth over a year ago.

Renee and Allison don’t move from the couch, giving Neil space. He’s grateful to that as well.

“You look awful,” Allison says bluntly, and the awkward tension in the air dissipates. Neil huffs and everyone moves back to the kitchen to help Abby.

Andrew nudges Neil forward. “He’s taking over the bath,” he states and Abby nods encouragingly.

“Let me know if you need anything. The last room on the left is yours for however long you need it.” She addresses that to both of them and Neil tries to smile at her.

Andrew ignores everyone else and tugs Neil to the bathroom, locking the door behind them. He gives him a bored look. Neil can tell he’s assessing the situation, checking to see how Neil is dealing with everything.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asks as he pulls clean clothing out of the bag for Neil.

“No. Could you… could you just talk for a bit?” Neil shifts around while he waits for Andrew to fill the tub.

Andrew checks the water, back to Neil while he gets undressed. He waits for Neil to lower himself into the warm water before starting. He sits on the floor beside the tub and tells Neil about the week. His calm voice fills the air, first going through small stories that different members of the team have told him, then changing to explain the plots of books that Neil has never heard of.

Finally, Neils muscles are able to relax. His back aches after being so tense for so long.

Andrew doesn’t stop even as he towels off and puts on the clean sweats and large hoodie that covers all of his scars other than the ones on his face. He avoids looking at himself in the mirror while he changes.

Neil isn’t sure how long they’ve been in there, but Wymack and Kevin are in the kitchen by the time they get out. The colour has come back to Kevin’s cheeks but Neil notices how he sticks close to Wymack while they set the table. He gives him a sheepish nod when he notices Neils eyes on him.

Thankfully no one says anything about Andrew being in the bathroom with him while he bathed. Neil wasn’t sure he could deal with any kind of teasing at the moment, and everyone seems to sense that.

The rest of the group is huddled in the living room. Nicky and Matt are in the process of creating a blanket nest in the center of the room while Dan and Renee speak quietly in the corner and Allison searches through movies to watch.

“What’s this,” Andrew says with his usual lack of inflection.

“We’re going to watch Harry Potter,” Allison announces. Nicky doesn’t pause his blanket arranging, but Matt looks up to give Neil a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, you can have the couch,” he tells them. Andrew doesn’t respond, but starts herding Neil to the sofa where a few blankets have been left for them. Neil’s glad that everyone is treating him like normal, he’s not sure he would be able to hold himself together if everyone was overly sympathetic.

“Lie down,” Andrew mutters and tugs him down so he’s leaning against his shoulder.

“Is this okay?”

Andrew rolls his eyes and covers them with a blanket.

“This is the last chance for anyone to say no to Harry Potter,” Allison shouts so Wymack, Abby, and Kevin can here her from the kitchen. Nicky scoffs.

“Even if anyone did, we would have to watch it anyway.”

Allison grins and shoves everyone down into the blanket nest.

Neil has never seen Harry Potter, but he spends most of the movie inspecting the faces of his Foxes.

Kevin has calmed down and talks quietly with Wymack about plays until Nicky shushes them. Aaron is texting, Katelyn, Neil assumes. Everyone else is in a cuddle pile on the floor. It reminds Neil of when he came back from Baltimore. He would think that the reminder would be a bad one, but he can’t help but feel safe with all of them around.

When he looks up, Andrew is watching him instead of the movie.

“Staring,” Neil mumbles quietly.

Andrew nudges him and huffs. “How do you feel.”

Neil takes another look at the people who have wormed their way into his life. After all they’ve been through (most of it was even his fault), and not a single one of them turned him away.

Nicky sends him a bright grin then continues his commentary with Allison.

“Better.”

And for once, Neil isn’t lying. It may be tough now, but he knows that he has help to get back on his feet.

He falls asleep quickly after that, and no one wakes him until late the next morning.

I recently saw a prompt on tumblr about what would happen if the Foxes saw videos of Neil's past, and so this was born. If you were able to read the books you should be able to read this, and I tried not to explain anything too graphically. There is a description of a panic attack. But since I can't help myself and all I want is for my fav characters to heal, this ends happily:)

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bomberqueen17 · 5 years ago

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wrap-up

So I made out like a bandit this Christmas, as I always feel I do. Farmsister emailed the weaver whose studio we toured in October or whenever that was, and bought a scarf from her, so now I have a beautiful handwoven scarf. Mom re-knit me the sweater that burnt up in the yurt, but this time in a variegated teal-and-purple alpaca yarn that is so soft and substantial and not at all scratchy. And Middle-Little bought me a cashmere wrap.

And Dude? Well, I lost a bunch of jewelry in the yurt fire. I recovered some of the silver pieces, but the amber-- well, amber burns, it turns out, you can just straight set it on fire and in fact lower-grade amber gets included in incense because it burns so well. So he bought me amber from Latvia via Etsy. So I’m delighted about that.

As I’d hoped, Farmkid immediately untied the furoshiki I’d made her, all pogaji-style pieced so it’s finished on both sides, and put it to use as a cape, doll blanket, cat blanket, blindfold, and a number of other things; it’s possibly more useful to her than the things I wrapped in it.

She also got literally one hundred unicorns, as that’s what she’d asked for. And grandpa made her a stable to keep them in, with bright red doors, a seafoam-green floor, yellow interior walls, and a bright shiny gold-painted roof.

She even got a pair of unicorns, one to keep and one to give to her best friend. So it was a very unicorny Christmas.

She was so good, balancing being So Hype For Christmas with not actually being unbearable. On Christmas morning, her father had run out to do the animal chores so he’d be available for gift unwrapping, but she woke up before he was back, and was in absolute agony waiting for him to return because of course we couldn’t start without him, and I got her to come sit on my lap and let me read to her, quietly with no whining and no fidgeting. It was only about three and a half minutes, but it was still three and half minutes’ respite from her shrieking. Then her dad’s footsteps sounded on the porch and she took off shrieking on a lap of the kitchen, leaping on both feet and scream-singing “It’s time to open presents! It’s time to open presents!” in startling counterpoint to her total stillness of a moment before.

It was good, it was manageable, I can’t imagine how my parents dealt with four of us at that level of hype-- but conversely, I do sort of remember, when there’s a herd of them they can kind of all run together and both wind one another up and bleed some of the chaos off into each other.

My family were all delighted by my gifts of photo prints, so that was good and I’m glad. It turns out not to have been too chintzy after all.

This morning we all got up and got ready and got out the door before 8:00. The Farm-Fam is driving all in one shot to BIL’s family in Chicago, and are hoping to make it without stopping-- it’s 11 or 12 hours in the car. In past years they’ve left midday, arrived Buffalo at dinner, stayed over, and kept going, but that’s time-intensive. Farmkid’s big now, almost six, so they think she can make it.

So I took her in my car, and read to her for the first five-hour leg of the trip. Dude drove, and I read, and we got through about seven or eight chapters of The Cloud Roads. I had to once again figure out how to censor the important pivotal sex scene of the series, and don’t remember how I did it last time, but it doesn’t really matter-- the point is that those two characters go from being tense slightly-antagonists to being firm allies, and I do think I managed to convey that. She’s gonna read that book for herself at like age ten and be like wait a minute aunt B skipped this part. LOL. (It’s not explicit, I’m sure she’ll be fine.)

I’m rather hoarse now, but I feel like it gave her a good mellow start to the trip-- it definitely made the time fly by faster than normal. I kept looking up and saying “oh we’re here already?”

We stopped at a Chipotle one exit past where I normally exit to go home, and then we just had to retrace our steps slightly, while they went on. They’ll still be driving, now, but they ought to be most of the way there I hope.

As soon as we pulled into our own driveway, Dude went in to talk to the cat, and I went straight back out with the Dustbuster and cleaned the backseat where Farmkid had eaten tortilla chips into tiny crumbs everywhere. It was pretty impressive.

I’ve just received two cards from online people, Dreamwidth people in fact, so I am going to go over there to thank them! How delightful.

I hope everyone had a good holiday according to their own traditions. Now Dude is engrossed in making the leftover gourmet cheeses we brought for Christmas Day appetizers into Fancy Mac And Cheese, and it’s gonna be real good. I’m psyched.

I need to get started on laundry and start packing for Iceland, and like a fool, I’m working tomorrow. Ay yi yi. But I had to spent a while in bed this afternoon solely for the sake of our poor neglected cat, who needed a face to lie upon and purr.

#holidays #about the author

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vannahfanfics · 5 years ago

Note

Oh! For the ask game number 12 if it’s not taken yet✨

Aight, fam, time for me to brag on myself lmao! Just kidding, but this should be interesting.

Number Ten: Colors

This is one of my older piece, a Shikamaru x Temari one, and I still look back on it fondly as a major achievement of when I really first started writing. Those two are such a unique couple to write and I really love the image of the firework colors in Temari’s eyes. Just a nice aesthetic.

Number Nine: Ghosts

This was the first time I had written a oneshot that wasn’t really romance, but a subdued angsty piece, and it was a refreshing change. Capturing Gintoki and Katsura’s haunted personas was a real challenge and I enjoyed how it came out.

Number Eight: Sizzling Summer Heat

This one was a shift from the typical “confession” romance piece to one with an established couple and I just like it a lot! Plus, I just really like the intimacy of the two of them I feel came across. Plus, tangerine-banana smoothies sound bomb as fuck, no?

Number Seven: Stars in Your Eyes

This is probably my favorite Natsu x Lucy piece I’ve done simply because of the imagery. I love everything about the night sky; describing the moon and stars and the light they give off is a pretty regular thing for my stories, and the idea of Natsu thinking Lucy’s eyes are so beautiful they contain the stars themselves is just a notion that makes me soft. :)

Number Six: Peppermint Flare

Writing Law and Nami is fun, period, but this one is high up there for me just because of the dramatic image of Law holding her while she smells like peppermint... Oof... Such a sexy couple. Lord help us.

Number Five: Life in Every Breath

I wrote two stories on this scenario, but this one out-competes the other just because I think I raised the stakes a lot. I really went raw with the emotion in this one and I think it made for a really gut-wrenching, desperate piece. Plus the title is a line from my favorite movie, so.

Number Four: Back and Forth

This was the first Law x Nami piece I wrote, originally intending to be a Christmas present for @anubislover but my computer decided to do a thing, so I just released it like any old regular story. It really opened my eyes to how fun writing the couple was and the potential, and it’s risen to be one of my top rarepairs. I just love them so much TT.TT

Number Three: Sleep-Talking

This one is recent, but the premise just has me. It’s so cute and soft and I really liked writing Sabo’s anxieties about revealing his feelings to Koala. I think the scene makes for a great image, too.

Number Two: 3 A.M. Musings and Cherry Lip Gloss

Hayner is my life, I love him to death and I would absolutely play a Kingdom Hearts spin-off just about the Twilight Town trio. Give this boy a Keyblade, please! Anyway, this one is high up there simply for the fact that it was really fun to write a teenager delirious and in love at 3 a.m. Just a great concept.

Number One: Between the Lines

Ugh, the angst. I like the other Ace x Nami piece I did too, but I think this one really ramps it up with the longing, the passion, and the overall theme of “we can’t have each other but we’re so helplessly in love it hurts.” I just like it linguistically, too.

Honorable Mentions: Baby Fever, Hibiscus and Honey, Natural, A Failure of A Valentine’s Day, Call It Destiny, How It Always Will Be, Promises, Poetic

Bonus: Things I haven’t written or haven’t published but am excited to release-

My pieces for ShikaSaku Week; I had never considered the couple before but now I’m highkey hooked. Some of them I like more than others, but I won’t say more until they’re all posted :3

A Kacchako piece titled Cherry-Orange Blossoms, which is a modern Hanahaki AU. I’m just ready to break some hearts; y’all ain’t ready. I’m also working on a Dekuraka Soulmate AU titled The Quantum Mailbox, where Uraraka finds out he’s her soulmate but he died in a car accident and she has to send letters back in time to basically rewrite history. Hooray for random sparks of inspiration at 2 a.m.

Finally, a re-write of my most successful piece to date, Daffodils Bloom After Winter. Nothing else has gotten near the response or attention, and I’m hoping the remaster is better than the original. Stay tuned for these!

#ask game #top ten ask game #roxas answers things #roxas answers stuff #ask me a question

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catsandstrawberries · 6 years ago

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Real Family 8

Pairings: BTS x teen female reader, platonic love

Warnings: Language, neglect, descriptions of a panic attack and past child abuse

A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in so long, hopefully, this chapter makes up for it. Also, I PROMISE Yoongi gets better but for the next few chapters he's going to be a jerk..I'm sorry but I can't imagine him feeling ok with reader living with him at this point in time.

Summary: It’s not blood that makes a family. It’s love.

Masterlist

The week after they had given me my own phone they had automatically became super busy. They were always leaving early in the mourning and coming home late at night, I didn't really expect anything different considering they were idols. Sometimes they would invite me to come with them to dance practice, I thought it would be fun until I saw all of the hip rolls and thrust in their choreo. Dancing like that in front of the girl who's living with you and trying not to be too sexual is weird.

So for the most part I stayed at home, and indulged in the Netflix account Jungkook made for me. Honestly, most of my days were spent eating and watching the show called the Office. In the past week I had watched seven seasons of the Office and finished Parks and Recreations. Both of which made me cry at some point from laughter and sadness. Taehyung also helped me set up an Instagram and Twitter, and sometimes we would send each other awkward selfies when he had some downtime at work. Apparently, Namjoon had even started an Instagram called the BTS family, and I later found out that the day I was supposed to get coffee for Bang, led to him yelling at the boys for not using me to my promotional potential. Or at least that was my guess and when I told Jungkook my theory, his widened eyes and exclamation of ‘you're not a promotional tool to us!’ told me my hunch was right.

All the boys had the password except for me to the Instagram account, which was a little aggravating but Namjoon also had to sit me down and talk to me about how I would need to be responsible in what I posted since I gained about 8 million followers on Instagram. The Bts Fam account was also just cringey photos of myself. There was one of me from the photo shoot, one of me and Tae, the rainbow shot of the boys and one of me sleeping on the couch. I messaged Jin asking (begging) him to delete it because I was drooling in the photo but in response, he sent me a laughing emoji.

Currently, I was watching reruns of the office since Hoseok asked me not to watch the final season without him. I refused to hold back my laughter as Kevin spilled his chilly onto the floor or when Stanley talked about his love of pretzel day. But as soon as the door slammed shut followed by a silence I immediately muted the show, calling out, “hello?” Even though I knew the house was pretty top security, doors slamming and the silence always scared me. “Just me (Y/N)!” Namjoon poked his head out from behind the wall, looking up from his phone and tucking it in his pocket. “You're back early,” I stated turning around on the couch and leaning my head against the frame to get a better view. “Yeah practice got out earlier and they decided to give us off till Monday.” He sounded so relieved but it was only Saturday, it was sad to think they had to work so hard just to get one day off. Instead of crushing his dreams though I simply smiled. “That's great.” I then noticed the quiet in the building, “what happened to the boys?” He flopped down on the couch next to me, “they went to get food-.” I immediately groaned, “Not salads again!” BTS comeback was in a few months and of course, they all were expected to diet and one of the first and only things Yoongi had said to me this week was, “If we're doing it so is she.” He didn't even say it to my face or address me, so our relationship wasn't really getting anywhere. “Sorry.” He smirked, words not matching his emotion. “Actually, when the boys get back we all should talk.” I gulped, turning off the Tv and turning to Namjoon. “Is s-something wrong?” I stuttered, despite the fact I was getting more comfortable with them I was always waiting for something wrong to happen, expecting it. Maybe this was it. Namjoon opened his mouth but the loud shouting of Hoseok prompted him to roll his eyes instead. “(Y/N) you better not have watched the last season without me!” An annoyed sigh followed by a wack came from the other room. “Can you quiet down Hoseok, anyways we have to talk to her remember.” Jin's strict voice startled me, what was so important? Jimin soon filtered into the room ruffling my hair as he passed by then jumping over the couch to sit by me. After he had done it at the photoshoot it kind of became our ‘thing’. Even after plentiful whining from Tae and Kook about how they wanted a ‘thing’ too. The rest of the boys flooded into the room, Jin handing me a bowl of greens and vegetables, the only thing slightly appealing was the boiled eggs. I tried not to act too ungrateful, even a salad was better than no food, but why did I have to diet with them, stupid Yoongi. Once everyone had settled down and Jungkook handed me a fork, all eyes were on the leader. He twiddled slightly with his thumbs as he spoke, “So (Y/N), I got a message from the state the other day about them sending a social worker to check up on you. Apparently, it's routine for them to see your lifestyle, how you're adjusting and everything.” I practically sighed in relief at his words, if this was the news then I had nothing to worry about. I suddenly perked up as a thought entered my head, “is the social worker Katie?” I honestly missed Katie, even though we fought and got on each other's nerves she was the closest thing I had to a mom. Jimin chuckled next to me and I blushed from my sudden excitement, stuffing a large piece of kale into my mouth. “The email didn't specify,” his tone then turned serious, “but, (Y/N) I was doing some research and they said if the meeting didn't go well you could get revoked from our parental rights.” Of course, I knew this, since it had happened in the past, but was he really worried about that? “Namjoon it's nothing to worry about, the state would only take me away if I was in an unfit home. Like the last place I lived at they drank a lot, called me names, tried to…” I faltered off just as Jimin had tensed from beside me. “I-I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry.” I hung my head in defeat, that wasn't just something I'd blurt out why did I feel so inclined to bring it up now. “Anyways, you guys will be fine, I have a roof, food, The Office.” I chuckled but this time no one laughed with me, all eyes downcast or glaring into the distance. Clearing my throat I started to eat more of my salad, “you guys will be fine, when is it?” My question caused Namjoon to blink a few times before looking at me. “Tuesday. We’re supposed to have a practice that day but I convinced Bang to let us leave for a few hours.” Jungkook let out an audible ‘yes’ followed by an ‘ow’ as he was smacked by Yoongi. “Is that all we had to talk about?” The nervous look on Namjoon's face only deepened and my stomach started to twist. “No. We enrolled you into a private school.” I gulped the remaining food in my mouth hanging my head in my hands once again letting out an annoyed groan, “you start Monday.”

When Tae had offered to take me to Target to shop for school supplies I did not question him. I thought he was just trying to do something nice. But as soon as the car pulled up to the mall Tae started to head for the store that screamed expensive in big glowing letters. Gucci. “Tae I can't go in there, isn't that for like expensive people?” Tae turned towards me, pushing his sunglasses up once they started to roll down the rim of his nose. His black and red checkered bandana pulled his hair back and the black Gucci shirt and jeans did nothing to hide his appearance or physique. “Don't worry so much, we’ll just make a quick stop then leave.” I grumbled under my breath, I doubted Tae could simply just make a ‘quick stop’ at Gucci. The security guard in front of the store gave Tae a nod followed by, “welcome back, Mr. Kim.” Jesus how many times had Tae been to this store. The guard gave me a side eye but didn't mention anything as I walked closer to Tae. The insides of the store were terrifying, everything looked expensive and I worried that if I touched something I would somehow fall 5 million into debt. The store was lit with a soft yellow and white glow, a set of purses in a glass case covering an entire wall, a full room of shoes and mannequins with strange looking sweaters were placed in the oddest of places. Turning a corner I almost jumped when seeing a mannequin holding a Gucci bag in one hand and a strange interpretation of a Kimono on the body. Trestles and chains hanging from the shoulders.

“Tae can we please get going soon, am I even old enough to be in a store like this?” Just as I asked, I walked by a set of baby clothes all pricing over 1,000 dollars. “Don't answer that,” I grumbled while Tae openly laughed at me. “Why don't you go wait outside while I check out,” before I could argue Tae was raising an eyebrow at me. “I'll be quick I promise.” Taking him for his word I exited the fancy store, casually leaning by the wall and taking out my phone.

Not even five minutes after walking out of the store Tae was done, meeting me outside a bag in hand. “What did you get?” I asked but he simply brushed off my question, “just some stuff. Here I got you these.” He placed a pair of sunglasses over my eyes, “you'll need them the more we go out in public.” Pulling a black mask from his pocket he quickly placed it over his mouth, “let's go.”

Once we had gotten to Target, Tae of course immediately got distracted. “(Y/N) these would look so cute on you, look!” He was like a kid in a candy store, shoving clothes in my hands and carrying me throughout the department. “Tae, why are we looking at clothes when I have a school uniform?” Tae turned towards me taking the clothes out of my hand and placing them in a handheld basket. “Don't think I don't notice the seven pairs of clothes you rotate through in a week (Y/N). I'm not an idiot.” Despite the cloth, over his mouth, I heard every syllable, and I looked away in annoyance. “Besides I can't let my kid go out in public without the proper clothes.” He turned away for a moment muttering something about how he wished it was Gucci, but the only thing I cared about was how he described me as ‘his kid.’ “Go try these on.” He handed me a big basket of clothes, “all of them?” Tae glared at me, before sighing. “Seriously (Y/N), please go try them on.” I glared at the ground as I walked towards the dressing room, not missing the smirk that passed Taehyung's face as I muttered, “only because you said please.”

After a full-on argument with Tae about how I didn't need 12 pairs of jeans he finally gave in and let me choose half of the clothes out of the pile he gave me. So the original fifty items soon turned into twenty-five. Shopping with Tae was seriously a hassle. Every time I remotely looked at something he would be breathing down my neck asking if I wanted it. Sure it may seem nice but it was also annoying. So far he had shoved Yankee Candles, fairy lights, and some supplements into the basket for my room, stating that ‘I needed to decorate.’ He tried to grab more especially when we got to the room decorating section with sheets, mirrors, hangars, couches and the fancy led lights. I had to drag him to the school section which was odd because that was the ONLY reason we were supposed to go to Target and we seemed to buy everything except for school supplies. As soon as we got to the aisle Tae’s nose scrunched up in disgust, “I hated school.” I glared at him and he quickly realized his mistake, “I mean school was fun...yay, learning.” Tae walked over to a pile of fancy looking notebooks and binders and simply swiped them into the basket from the shelf. “I actually met Jimin in high school.”

“Really?” I asked slightly in awe, everyone always talked about how once they graduated they moved on from there high school friends. “Yeah, Jimin got picked on a lot for his accent so I always tried to stand up for him. That's how we became friends.” He turned back towards me a smile on his face, “I know school can be rough, but try giving this one a chance.” I smiled and nodded throwing a pack of pens into the basket. If only I had known exactly what would happen at my new school.

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siyeonjisoo · 6 years ago

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Oookay. Long post in-coming. TL:DR is I saw the GazettE yesterday and while it was a really fucking long day, IT WAS AMAZING AND ALL WORTH IT AND I LOVE THEM AND MY FRIENDS <3 <3 <3

SO my day started at 3:50am when I woke up. got on a train at 5:17 in the morning to get to NYC by 7. I ended up being the 34th person in line. The folks at the front of the line had come straight from Dallas and started lining up at 4am which is both insane but awesome. I was waiting for the discord friends to show up and was the second one to show up. the line was originally along the front entrance of the building and all mixed. The business on the corner, however, really hates the lines being in front of their entrance so we actually got split from VIP and GA really early. I think it was like 9am when that happened and all of us who are familiar with how shit Playstation staff’s organization usually is were shook.

My friends and I had a great time hanging out all day long so I got no complaints, even though I sat my ass on a sidewalk in Times Square for 10 hours yesterday. We had ourselves organized and knew we were gonna be fine but Playstation staff showed their true identities by trying to fuck with it all day long. We all got in several shouting matches of them just going on power trips and us trying to explain that they don’t have to worry about us.

I also painted my nails at some point in line haha

Because we were so damn close to the doors, we could hear soundcheck from outside. They played Zetsu, Shadow VI II I, Sumire, and Bathroom and I was fucking crying so much then. Those were the first tears of the day, I think, but nowhere near the last. We were all freaking out over it.

A little bit after that, I went on a trip to use the bathroom (which was the last time I think I went before I got home at 2am lol. Held anything from like 3pm till then). We were going to the Hardrock Cafe for that so we had to walk from the alley tunnel where the VIP lines were around the block past the main entrance of Playstation. A staff member came walking out just as a car was pulling up with 3 men in the backseat. They all had light blonde hair and masks on. Staff hurriedly ushered them inside. I saw the eyes of one of the guys and I swear to god that it may have been Kai. It was after the soundcheck so unless staff did the soundcheck for them, they went out for lunch after and I saw them when they came back. Which is possible. So yeah, that may have happened.

We were allowed to go inside starting around 6:30 so we started organizing ourselves into the number order we had around 5 just so we could be ready when staff started letting us in. I was standing from 5pm then until like 9:45, after the concert ended. At 6:10, they started organizing us by letting us snake through to get our VIP bands and (if you were Heresy) other bracelets. We got like 25 people through that way and it was taking REALLY long so they gave up on that and sent the first bunch through. Because a lot of people weren’t there (either were GA given a # by accident or just not there) I ended up being within the first 20 to get inside.

I hit up the merch table to get a Reita bear and because of that, lost the chance to get the barricade but I still was in the 3rd row on the side that I wanted to be on. It was around 7 by then and we were all just waiting for everyone to get in. I talked with all the people around me and we all had a great time. At 8:02, the concert started.

Here is the setlist:

99.999

Falling

NINTH ODD SMELL

GUSH

Vortex

Venomous Spider's Web

THE MORTAL

SONO KOE WA MOROKU

DOGMA

The Suicide Circus

INCUBUS

UGLY

ABHOR GOD

Filth in the Beauty

encore

INSIDE BEAST

Cockroach

Tomorrow Never Dies

I managed to keep my spot in front of Reita in the 3rd row for the entire show, only moving like an inch or two away from center, toward Aoi. By the time Vortex happened, I definitely was not standing on my own feet but was being held up by the crowd and swaying all around with them. I had one foot on the ground to keep me, well, grounded, and was just being pushed back and forth with the crowd from then on. I don’t think I have been that covered in sweat in my entire life. My shirt was fucking drenched, thank goodness it was a thick material so the white didn’t become transparent at least haha.

The folks directly behind me were holding onto my shoulders and back to balance while headbanging and that pushed me forward and backward so I was headbanging better so thanks fam!

I also got a punch in the eye at one point and this was the thought process of my reaction (over the span of like 2 seconds): "oh no, i'm a daycare teacher! I can't have a black eye!" then "fuck it, I'm at a concert I don't care" then "wait it didn't even hurt that much why was I so dramatic". There was no damage and I was just being dramatic so enjoy laughing at me.

I was right in front of Reita so I got lots of him. He stuck his tongue out while making eye contact with me at one point. I saw heaven in that moment. He also kept doing this weird little waving thing with his hand throughout and it was really fucking cute and made me laugh while doing it back at him.

Ruki would also hop up in the area right in front of us, right on the edge of the stage, and after the first time he came there, I was on that one foot until the main set ended. Seeing Ruki’s dorky dancing in person, that close, is so funny. I laughed so hard every single time he did his little chicken neck dance thing. Can’t take him seriously when he does that.

Aoi was teasing all of us and being a handsome man. He also attempted to turn Sono Koe wo Moroku into a sexy song with how he was dancing there.

Kai and Uruha were on their side of the stage the entire time and I couldn’t see either of them very well but every time I did, they were breathtakingly beautiful and seemed to be having so much fun.

Main set ended around 9:08. We chanted back and forth between encore and gazetto for like 11 or 12 minutes before they came back on.

Aoi and Reita stayed in their costumes while Kai and Uruha had changed into tour shirts. URUHA LOOKED SO FUCKING SEXY IN HIS BECAUSE he had cut the sleeves off and the collar so it was a low v-neck style. Made his choker necklace stand out even more and HOLY FUCK IS THAT MAN SEXY. Kai took his microphone and yelled at us in English about how fucking awesome we were and it was so nice hearing him curse for some reason. I can’t explain why it was so nice to hear but it was. After that, they started a slightly elongated instrumental intro to Inside Beast before Ruki came out on stage and he also had not changed out of his costume.

The only time that Uruha came past the center onto my side was during Inside Beast I think. The only words I could think at that moment were “oh my god, that man is so beautiful”.

I knew that Tomorrow Never Dies was going to be the last song they played so as soon as Ruki started saying “last”, I started feeling like I was going to cry. But the problem with that was the fact that I had sweated out so much liquid that I had no tears. So I sobbed but without tears throughout that entire song. After that song, Aoi, Uruha, and Reita threw their pics into the crowd. One of Aoi’s landed like a foot or two to my left but either someone caught it and didn’t tell anyone or it got lost cause no one claimed to have caught it after.

Kai had his phone and took a picture from behind his drumset. I think it was a selfie with us in the background. Then he came down to the front, smiley as ever, and took some more pics of just us. I found myself. I’m in the purple circle here

We then all went up to the chairs in the back to wait for it to be M&G time. I would have been fine if my day had ended there, honestly, because it had already been amazing. But no, there was still more. It was like 9:30/9:40 when they started clearing the rows to go through. I was surprisingly calm about it because I was concentrating on my promise to a friend. She was behind me in line and I had promised to get Aoi to wish her a happy birthday since it is today, the day after the concert. So I focused on that and making sure I could say that to him instead of freaking out over anything else.

so the order was Aoi, Reita, Ruki, Kai, Uruha. one by one, here is what happened.

Aoi: he takes my hands and thanks me in English. I thank him in Japanese while marveling in how SOFT his hands are. Then I tell him, again in Japanese, about it being my friends bday tomorrow and asking him to say something. He looks at her and grins and nods to me. Reita is staring at me now and I almost froze having both of them looking straight at me at the same time.

Reita: I hand to him the card I wrote for all of them and he takes it while saying, in English, “For me?” and he sounded so cute. I corrected him and said it was for all of them and he nodded and thanked me, in Japanese, and I thanked him too. I kinda didn’t even notice that he wasn’t looking at me with two eyes because I was in so much shock.

Ruki: He gave me the softest smile as he took my hand in both of his. I thanked him and almost couldn’t let go of his hands. Not because of me, but because of him not wanting to let go. I think he saw my tattoo when we shook hands which makes me happy.

Kai: THIS MAN IS SO SWEET. I thanked him while we shook hands and this is kinda when I started losing my mind. I let go of his hands kinda fast but I told him, in Japanese, that he has an amazing smile and he tilted his head and smiled at me. Like just at me and my legs almost gave out under me.

Uruha: His hands. They are so big. And so soft. AND HE IS SO FUCKING HOT. I had completely lost my mind by then so he said thank you in English and I just couldn’t say anything else but thank you in English. My brain was goop.

I walked away from Uruha on shaky legs, got my VIP little towel, and then collapsed against a wall and started sobbing. 11 and a half years waiting for an opportunity to thank them, face-to-face, finally brought to an end last night and it all just crashed down on me in that moment.

My friend who was behind me came out crying and came straight to give me a hug and we just hugged and cried for almost a minute, just standing there. Aoi had wished her a happy birthday, as expected, but Reita did too. That’s why he had been staring at me while I spoke to Aoi lol.

I just wandered around with my friends inside the venue, trying to keep from sobbing completely because ain’t nobody need that kind of attention from a venue’s staff.

My friends all parted ways to go back to their respective Airbnbs or hotels while I started my lonely walk back to Penn station. But I was still kinda crying so I scanned the crowd of people also walking in that direction until I found people I recognized to be from this concert. Caught up with them and asked if I could walk with them for a little bit so I wouldn’t be a girl walking through the city, alone, crying, at night. We ended up stopping to get food together and chatting for like an hour before I had to head off to catch my train.

I cried literally off and on the entire way home. On the train, walking from train to car, driving home, every step of the way. I ended up being awake for a solid 22, almost 23, hours yesterday. My throat is still sore today. My neck hurts so much. My heart is so full of emotions that I am still so close to crying at any moment. All of the stress about the semester up until now? Worth it. All of my worries about finals? Gone. I met and spoke with (in Japanese) the human beings who inspired me to start learning Japanese in the first place. I will be graduating from college in 13 days as both a member of Sigma Tau Delta and cum laude. Not to be overdramatic or cringey or anything but I know for a fact that I would not be at this point in my life if I hadn’t found this band when I was 11.5 years old. 11.5 years later, this is what my life is like. I have the money to afford to MEET them. And the opportunity for it. Life can change so much. Like, if anyone ever needs a reminder that “it get’s better” this is it!

The first goal was just to see them in concert. That was ticked off the list in 2016 at their first world tour. The second was to meet them and be able to say “thank you” to them in person. That was ticked off the list last night. The new goal? get them all to autograph my arm, under where I have their logo, so I can get that tattooed as well. My entire left arm is going to be dedicated to bands that have shaped who I am so there will also be Miyavi tattoos and maybe even some Berryz Koubou tattoos there one day but for now, the goal is their autographs. So look out for that.

Also, check out all of my beautiful and lovely friends. I love them all so much and miss you all already!! (I’m the blondie grinning like a dork because I was so happy!)

#the gazette #ruki #reita #aoi #uruha #kai #nyc #phase 04 #world tour #playstation theater #my face #friends #memories #sixth guns #heresy #live report #reaction #goals

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missjackil · 6 years ago

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My 14x17 Opinion

Game Night

This was the first new episode since “The Announcement” and I have to say I was putting off writing it. I usually post these the day after, but I procrastinated so it’s a bit late. So forgive my butt-hurt tardiness and let's have at it.

I enjoyed this episode, though it wasn't without some issues. I must say that I was pleased that it wasn't as Sam-lite as I thought it would be from the promo pics, trailer, and knowing Jared didn't work a lot that week, I will always want for more Sam in an episode, but all his parts were necessary and high quality in this one, so I'm not angry at all.

We start the episode with Donatello making cookies, singing Raindrops are Fallin’ on my Head, which made me smile. It made me think of Butch Cassiday and The Sundance Kid and I love that movie, and if J2 ever want to play the leads in a remake, I would be willing to pay for it myself!

Donny gets interrupted by the door, and we know this is a problem because its the first 5 minutes of SPN, let's be honest. As soon as I see the bad guy’s wedding ring, I think “Shit... here comes Nick”. I thought he was gonna kill him and I'm glad he didn't. I like Donny, he looks like my dad. 😊

Back at the Bunker, the fam is getting ready for “Winchester Game Night” and Dean is playing Mouse Trap, and having no luck getting it to work. I had that game as a kid too and was never able to get it to work either, but it was fun putting it together! I did think it was a little sad but fitting, that Dean would have played that game as a 4 yr old, but leave it to John and Mary to give Dean a game made for older kids, that never worked out the way it was supposed to and had too many small parts he could choke on. (the irony is not lost on me)

Mary and Jack are in the kitchen. I could literally almost smell the Jiffy Pop popcorn. A Saturday night staple at my house growing up (any of you out there ever taste that greasy salt left on the sides of the foil pan? Good stuff!) and Mary starts in with the questions for Jack. I got a kick out of him telling her its annoying, and her face after. It’s ok Mary, he’s fine, he’s just a teenager now. Something I guess she never got to experience from the adult side.

Sam is out getting pizza, and all the times they’ve had pizza, I never really saw what Sam likes on his. Apparently both he and Dean like lots of pepperoni. Good choice boys! The joy is short-lived (of course) by Donatello’s call, and Dean and Mary go off to help. I loved Sam sitting there researching. I have always loved his look of interest and concentration during these times. Smart!Sam moment #1 he figures out the language is ancient Hebrew, #2 he has the moment of realization that he knows it’s from the Bible, and knows what chapter and verse. (demerits for the writers though for not knowing Peter is in the New Testament and is in Ancient Greek, not Hebrew, but kudos for Sam/Jared for at least knowing the book is located near the back of The Bible)

Mom and Dean in the car. Now we have the talk about how wrong she knows she’s been but how appreciative she is to have this time with him and Sam. Uhoh... sounds like lines typically given to a character who is soon to be killed off? Hmmm we’ll see. Soon they arrive at Donny’s to find Nick. He says he's poisoned Donny and to save him, they have to help him. He wants to talk.

Back at the bunker, violent rage!Sam awaits!! GOD that gave me tingles in the best way! I loved Dean leading Nick down the hall in cuffs, in slow motion as if leading him to his execution, and Sam standing there with his chest puffed out like a friggin’ bulldozer, and the snarl and slam attack against the wall!! (hand me that towel, please??) Dean backs Sam off, lots of brother touching going on, but we need intel, we can't kill him yet.

Now Sam is in self-loathing mode.... he thinks everything is his fault. So many people dying because of him. This is gonna be a big issue soon, I promise. Mom talks Sam off the self-deprecating ledge and tells him he gave Nick another chance because he’s a good man and that's why she’s so proud of him. Sam softens up into the sweetest “aww shucks ma” smile and I want to hug him💕 also, still lines are being spoken by mom that are synonymous with being killed off.

Now, I procrastinated talking about Cas and Anael because the whole thing was boring. I'm not a wife hater but at least make her necessary if you’re going to cast her. I was ok about her role as Sister Jo for Devil’s Bargain but she hasn't been necessary since. Cas wasn't even necessary in this episode. We knew he was hiding the fact that Jack killed the snake, and there are probably 1000 other ways they could have reminded us that the Samulet is still around and maybe they can use it, than for him to find a similar one in the thrift shop or whatever that place was. I dug Methuzula though, he was the oldest dude in the Bible. He wasn’t an angel, for any of you worried about him liking lasagna or why he couldn't just smite Cas... its because he's HUMAN just extremely old.

On to more interesting things.

Nick wants to talk to Jack. I was not pleased with Nick referring to Jack as his son. Im not 100% convinced that the writer (and all involved really) remembered that Jack isnt Nick’s son, but added that as a note of empathy Nick has for Lucifer, you’d THINK someone, particularly Jack would say “Im not your son” ?? but anyway, he gives intel to Jack and also gets his blood (dun dun dunnnn)

Sam is again a smarty pants and knows the antidote for Thalium is Prussian Blue (makes note) and figures he can hack the live feed (brains are so sexy) I also love that Sam’s word is the go word. So many more decisions are made because Sam thinks its the best option than he's ever given for in the fandom. So Sam and Dean take Nick with them to find Donny.

I really love the broments in this part. Dean tells Nick if he tries anything funny, Sam will shoot him. “And if anything happens to me....” “Sam will shoot me” “To start!” says Sam... because if he hurts Dean, Sam isnt letting him off that easy. But in true SPN form, as soon as Sam and Dean are separated, shit goes south.

Mom calls Sam and lets him know Donny was shot up with Angel grace, as Jack figured out, Nick was playing them. Now the fight between Sam and Nick ensues! Nick tells Sam why he used Donatello, which was to bring Lucifer back, “You can't, he’s dead he’s in the Empty” Sam says but this show’s self-awareness gets me sometimes lol Nick’s like “Cmon Sam you know no one stays dead anymore” and Sam starts kicking his ass.

Now, I have already seen a million of you whine and complain that Sam didn’t kill Nick. It’s almost as though some of you have never met Sam Winchester. Of course Sam could have killed Nick, and most of us wish he did, but Sam has stopped himself from killing humans before. He stopped himself with Jake in AHBL and also with Toni in 12x01. Unfortunately it always bites him in the ass. Could it be that Sam thinks if he can kill a human with his bare hands that he’s a monster? This isn’t bad writing folks, this is Sam’s character.

Nick takes advantage of Sam’s hesitation and starts nailing him with a rock. Spewing crap about Sam being Lucifer’s Perfect vessel and such.... this can only mean that issue will be coming up soon! Sam gets in the car and starts laying on the horn for Dean, calling out to him... Dean hears Sam is in trouble, enough playing around here time to kill some demons.

When he gets to Sam. he sees he’s badly injured. Sam can hardly hold on to consciousness, protective!dean kicks in! Apply preasure to the blled, call 911, call mom. Now check for brain damage and play a counting game with Sam This hurt my feels so much, it made it feel so much more serious than all the other head injuries he’s sustained. Dean and his caring big brother smile and light hearted speech so Sam doesnt panic just kills me in the best way!! Sam tries to count with him a little and breaks into “You always put me first... your whole life” and manages to muster a little smile. Dean knows Sam believes he’s checking out, and you see the fear all over Dean’s face as Sam fades away. (OMG these 2!! Every freakin time!!)

Meanwhile, Mary and Jack found Nick and he has summoned Lucifer and just about to take him in again (Lucifer looked pretty cool,,, gotta say) and Jack zaps Lucifer back into the rift (no not forever guys... cmon) and starts torturing Nick. Mary kinda flips out telling Jack to stop. He’s contorting his hand, burning him from the inside out... not simply killijng him. Mary is full on worried now. Jack stops and Nick is laying on the floor. Mary is in shock and tells Jack to go help Sam, He heals him and Dean cant even hide his relief as he turns away to catch his breath.

Now Jack returns to Mary who is more than worried about how Jack was torturing Nick. We know the Winchesters dont mind killing, but draw the line at torture. However, Mary stupidly poked the bear. She could have just kept herself and Jack calm and talked to the boys later, but she poked and poked till Jack freaked out. Though I am wondering if Jack was also hearing Lucifer when he was shouting “Leave me alone!!” But in any regard, he looked at Mary and something happened. Fade to black.

Aside from the Cas/Anael part, I really enjoyed this episode. A few issues yes, but it hit most of the marks needed for me to enjoy an episode. Ive already rewatched it twice and will again and again.

On a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I give this a strong 7.5 without the Cas/Anael bit it would have been an easy 8.

#14x17 spoilers #game night #my opinion #i dug this one #love this 2nd half a lot

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sabinasanfanfic · 7 years ago

Text

Meeting the Fam

This takes place about 6 months after the events of this prompt. Pure sappy fluffiness. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Satomi sat in the passenger seat, looking out the window. Her jaw was clenched tight, and her hands were resting in her lap with her fingers entwined. Her right leg was lightly bouncing; her stomach a knot. She heard Hijikata softly snort.

“You can relax, you know.”

Satomi exhaled. “I’m fine.”

“Your leg says otherwise.”

Satomi scowled at Hijikata. “It’s hard not to be nervous when your boyfriend tells you this is the first time he’s bringing a girlfriend to meet his parents.”

“You should take it as a good thing,” Hijikata soothed with a smirk.

Satomi sighed and returned to looking out the window once more. She was always nervous to meet new people, but the fact that she was the first woman to be introduced to Hijikata’s parents just compounded her nerves. She knew Hijikata held a deep affection for his parents. He always spoke well of them.

A part of her wondered how much influence they had on his life. If they didn’t like her, would they tell Hijikata to end the relationship? Would they meddle until he did what they wished? One previous boyfriend had a mother who inserted herself into their relationship. Needless to say, it didn’t last.

Too soon, Hijikata pulled into the driveway of a home with a small, neatly tended yard. Satomi took a fortifying breath before unbuckling and stepping out of the car. Hijikata met her as she shut the door, and they both walked up to the front door. He pushed it open and stepped through the doorway. Satomi followed.

“Hello,” Hijikata called as he slid his shoes off.

Satomi heard quick footsteps echo down the hall as her own shoes came off, and she saw an older woman with brown hair appear. The woman’s smile was bright as she caught sight of Hijikata, and when she was close enough, she gave him a hug.

“Toshi-chan! How are you?”

“Fine, Mom,” he replied softly with a chuckle. Satomi saw the affectionate smile on his face as his mother pulled away from him. “This is Satomi.”

Satomi stiffened slightly as his mother turned her attention to her. Satomi hoped her own smile was genuine and conveyed a sense of ease that she wasn’t feeling just yet. The woman kept her smile and pulled Satomi into a hug.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Satomi-chan. Toshi has told us so much about you. He said you were hurt at work a while back, you poor thing.”

Satomi chuckled nervously. “Oh, I’m doing much better now. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

The woman stepped back, appraising her. “You may call me Hanako.”

“Okay.”

Hanako began to walk back down the hall, motioning for the pair to follow her. Satomi glanced at Hijikata, who shot her an encouraging smile. Satomi walked in front of Hijikata, taking in her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was that there were family photos everywhere—a stark contrast to her own family’s home. She stopped in front of one that featured all three boys with their parents. What made her pause was the contentment on each of their faces.

“What is it?” Hijikata murmured.

“You all look…so happy,” Satomi said wistfully.

Hijikata hummed, and she could hear the fondness in his tone. “We were.”

She stared at the photo a little longer, taking in young Hijikata’s features. While he had matured significantly, she could see that many of his looks had remained the same. She peered up at him with a little smirk.

“You were cute even as a teen.”

She saw Hijikata blush before she began walking again.

“Oi! Don’t say stuff like that and leave me!” he scolded without heat as he chased after her at a leisurely pace.

They went to the living room where his father sat in an easy chair. Upon seeing them enter, Isamu stood and approached them, a jovial smile lighting up his face.

“Ah! This must be the young lady that has my son head-over-heels!” he exclaimed as he pulled Satomi into a bear hug.

Satomi’s cheeks flushed a deep red as she processed the warmth that just radiated from this man. She now knew where Isami got his kindness from. After a few seconds, he let her go.

“Daaad!” Hijikata groaned out of embarrassment.

“What? Don’t tell me she doesn’t know you think that way about her!”

“Of course she knows. You don’t have to be so…”

“It’s fine, Toshi. Really. It’s nice to meet you, Kondō-san.”

“Samu is fine, my dear. No formalities here. We’re all family. Come on, now make yourself comfortable. Hanako is cooking up one of Toshi’s favorites.”

Hanako came from the kitchen with a teapot, teacups, spoons, and various sweeteners. She set it on the coffee table and motioned for everyone to help themselves. Toshi did so immediately, turning to Satomi questioningly. She nodded an affirmation as she settled herself on the couch.

Conversation. Satomi wasn’t even sure where to begin. She desperately wanted their approval, and while it seemed she had it, for now, she didn’t want to lose it or make a bad impression.

Hijikata handed Satomi a cup of tea as Isamu asked, “How’s the residency, Toshi?”

Hijikata sat next to her on the couch. She immediately realized that Hijikata sat close enough that they were touching, which was highly unusual when they were around others. She blew on her tea before taking a sip, noting the sparkle in Isamu’s eyes. So he noticed too…

“Busy. Never a dull moment.”

“I heard they let first years shadow you?” Hanako asked with pride.

“Sure, but…that’s nothing special.”

“That’s not what Sami-chan said. The other surgeons are quite impressed with your skill. He said it’s not often a second year is shadowed.” Hijikata shrugged as he stirred his tea. He was clearly uncomfortable with the praise. Hanako turned to Satomi. “And how is your job? Have you gone back to that unit you got hurt on?”

Satomi nodded, her body stiffening slightly at the mention of her injury. “I have.”

“You’re certainly brave.”

Satomi’s answering smile was self-deprecating. “Or incredibly foolish.”

Hijikata snorted in agreement. Satomi playfully glared at him over the rim of her cup as she drank. The conversation continued, and Satomi began to relax. Hijikata’s close presence was very comforting, and it was hard to maintain a sense of wariness around his parents when he was so uninhibited.

Dinner was amazing. Satomi had never tasted anything so delicious, and she couldn’t help the grin on her face as she ate to her heart’s content. There was good-natured ribbing of Hijikata’s own cooking skills, and Satomi was proud to announce that she had been teaching Hijikata the basics.

“He’s getting pretty good at it too,” Satomi said with an affectionate smile directed at Hijikata.

“You must be quite patient with him,” Isamu said with a wink. “Toshi is easily frustrated by things that don’t come easily to him.”

“Oi,” Hijikata grumbled.

Satomi giggled, knowing that Hijikata wasn’t as upset as he sounded.

When the meal was finished, they helped clear the table, and while Hijikata left the kitchen with Isamu, Satomi stayed with Hanako to assist with the dishes. The ceramic plates and bowls clinked gently against each other as Satomi washed them and Hanako dried and put them away. Satomi started to feel her body tensing again. She knew she should probably talk, but like before, she wasn’t sure where to begin.

“Toshi-chan tells me you’ve had a difficult upbringing.”

Fuck, Satomi thought as a chill went down her spine and her mind raced to conclude the absolute worst outcome of this conversation. She scrambled to minimize her experience. “It wasn’t…horrible.”

“But having a father who is an alcoholic paired with a mother who didn’t stand up for you? That’s tough.”

Satomi shrugged defensively. “I made it through all right.”

Hanako smiled. “I’m not judging you, my dear. I just realize that we must be so strange to you.”

Satomi paused and glanced at Hanako out of the corner of her eye. She then sighed and turned so that her whole body was facing Hanako. “Not strange. I know this is what a family is supposed to be like. I think…somehow I always knew my own family wasn’t the norm. So…I focused on getting myself through.”

Hanako carefully set the plate she had been drying onto the counter and wiped her hands on the towel. “Toshi-chan worries about you. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you.”

Satomi shook her head. “Not at all. It’s…” she paused to huff in amusement. “It was one of the first indications that he liked me. He always told me to be careful before I went up to the unit.”

“He cares a great deal about you…more so than any other girlfriend. I can tell…”

Satomi took a deep breath, and before she could over analyze it, she let words tumble out of her mouth. “I know he can be abrasive, overprotective, stubborn, and guarded, but I also know…how much he cares. I see it in his work as well as the way he interacts with you both. He’s passionate and loyal. I…” she stopped as her eyes widened at how open and vulnerable she was being with a woman she had just met. Heat suffused her cheeks as her eyes fell to the floor.

Satomi started when she felt Hanako hug her once again. She stood still, not sure how to respond to this embrace. It felt different than the one she received earlier—it was reassuring.

“You don’t need to tell me. I know. Thank you for making him so happy.”

“I…of course…” Satomi whispered as she stood there, unsure if she should return the gesture.

After another moment, Hanako released her. “Now, let’s go join them.”

The rest of the evening passed with pleasant conversation. When they said their goodbyes and had climbed into Hijikata’s car, Satomi realized that she wasn’t as exhausted as she anticipated she would be. The whole evening was low-key, and as they pulled out of the driveway, she stared in wonder at the couple standing in the doorway to watch their son leave.

“So?”

Satomi peered up at Hijikata, taking note of his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. She snorted softly through her nose. Apparently, he had been more worried about her liking them rather than the other way around.

“They’re lovely.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @hakuouki-or-hakuoki, @hidetheremote, @hakuyamazakisensei, @eheartangel, @shell-senji, @kondo-hijikata, @resshiiram @lescahiersdesable, @flower-dragon, @jellyfish-wish, @enby-peep, @trashmonster06, @emmalanna. If anyone wishes to be added or removed from my tag list, please let me know!

#hakuouki #eheartangel’s souji time travel au #hijikata toshizo #tanaka satomi #the kondo family #hijimi

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i-just-love-writing-crap · 7 years ago

Text

Welcome Back, Dork

Warnings: Swearing, sickeningly sweet fluff, badly written smut, unprotected smex (use p r o t e c t i o n kids!) Word Count: 13,814 (o o o p i e d a i s y) Summary: You had been gone for a week on vacation with your family. It was a Sunday and you were on your way back. Connor had a whole night planned that was centered all around you the moment you get back later that day. Established relationship. (f/d/b) = favorite dog breed / mixed breed (s/f/d/b) = second favorite dog breed / mix breed (y/f/c/n) = your female cousin’s name (f/c/h/n) = female cousin’s husband’s name (f/r) = favorite restaurant here is da masterlist

@angelinabisognin suggested this~! I am so sorry it took forever to write this, my brain was scrambled and I was doing things with my tumblr fam. So, my b babe. Also, sorry if Connor is a lot OOC, I just think that after a week of not seeing you, he’d be all, like seriously, h a r d c o r e uncharacteristically loving and shit with you in private. sorry if it’s really fluffy and shit, I was lowkey listening to romantic, relaxing music while I wrote this; may’ve gotten too detailed in this and I’m S O R R Y! I got way too into it

Connor was uncharacteristically excited. It was something you did to him and he did not know whether he liked it or not. Anyways, he was sitting inside your house, on the large couch residing in the living room. You were on your way home, and he was oh-so ready for you to be home. The Connor Murphy had gone an entire week without being able to hold you, touch you, see your smiling face in person—and he lived to see your bright smile everyday. Of course he got to see your face, thanks to this miracle called FaceTime, but he hadn’t been able to cup your face and tell you how much that smile meant to him. So, yeah, he was beyond ready for you to get home.

His leg was bouncing in sheer excitement and anticipation. You were so close to being home and once you got home, he was determined to whisk you away for a great night followed by something else, only if you were up for it. He wouldn’t ever force you into sex if you didn’t want it. “God, when is that dork coming home? She said fifteen minutes ago twenty minutes ago,” he growled to himself, combing a hand through his long brown hair.

Everyone knew that Connor could be quite impatient when it came to you. Of course, being away from you for a week didn’t help at all. But, your parents were so dead-set on visiting family a few states over and even though you didn’t want to go, they forced you. You were old enough to either stay home alone or stay with someone, but they made you go anyways. Connor knew it irked you that they would not let you stay with anyone even by yourself and it irked him, too. He had wanted you to stay with him and his family, and of course they said ‘no’.

To celebrate your return from a week of MIA, Connor was going to take you to your favorite restaurant for dinner. Then, after dinner, he planned to take you stargazing at the park just outside of town. Stargazing was, after all, your favorite past-time to do together. In fact, stargazing had been your first, official, date—on his roof, nonetheless. It was totally classy, but still, you loved it. Truth-be-told, he may have a weakness for seeing you gazing up at the star-speckled night sky, eyes twinkling and full of wonder and excitement, as you seemingly glowed in the pale moonlight. He smiled to himself as he clearly remembered your first date.

He looked down at his phone and saw a new message from you.

From: Dork Sorry we aren’t home yet, Con! There was an accident on the highway that stopped up traffic real good, I’ll be home in like 45 mins now! I’m sorry, I know how much you want me to be home! ily so much con and can’t wait to get back home to you! see ya soon❤️

“Great!” he growled to himself. He was pissed now, but he knew there was nothing he could do. As he brooded to himself, your two dogs bounded up to the couch, waving their tails. “Oh, hey Cleo, hey Marri, do you two need to fucking go outside?” he asked, somewhat being calmed by their presence.

You loved your (f/d/b) and your (s/f/d/b) almost as much as you loved Connor, and boy did he know it. You would always gush over them when the both of your were at your house, and they would constantly steal his cuddles. And even though he would sometimes get jealous of the attention you gave them, they were too cute to stay mad at. Marri, your (f/d/b) and oldest dog, barked at him, as if to say ‘yes I need to go outside please’. Cleo, your (s/f/d/b) and youngest dog, barked after Marri.

“So that’s a yes, got it. Come on you mutts,” he said to himself. Pushing himself off of the couch, he made his way over to your home’s backdoor. Marri and Cleo followed on his heels. As soon as he opened the door, your dogs almost took out his knees as they bolted outside. They turned to face him, both waging their tails and seemingly smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah, you bitches are welcome,” he laughed to himself as he closed the door.

Meanwhile, you were stuck in a car with your parents, blasting your Spotify in your ear to drown out your parents boring back and forth small talk. Least to say, you were bored as hell and wanted nothing more than to be in your stoner boyfriend’s arms. The week without him was also hell for you, too. You could run your fingers through his soft hair as you whispered how much he made you feel complete. Oh how you dreamed of him every night while you were gone—some nights you would dream dreams so sweet it would give a man cavities and other nights you dreamed dreams so steamy you could have fogged up a window. Goosebumps appeared on your skin as you remembered a particularly titillating dream.

Even though it was a dream, you felt every single thing that night and you were feeling it again. From the teasing, cool, feathery touches all across your blazing skin and the gravely whispery proclamations of affection in your ear, to the deep growls of satisfaction accompanied by naughty praises from your boyfriend and the sounds sex. Shit, you thought to yourself as you felt heat pooling in your lower regions as you remembered.

Your imagination was running wild with images of Connor in provocative positions as you dazed of into a salacious daydream. You could close your eyes and see him under you, his eyes darkened and dilated with desire and his mouth slightly agape as he watched you. In your sinful daydream felt so real as you felt a chill wash over the whole of your being because of the cold air of the room (in reality, it was the car’s air conditioning) hitting your sweaty, flaming flesh.

Sinful words fell from Connor’s mouth, lewd encouragements and praises. “You’re doing so well, dork. God fucking dammit, you look so hot when you ride me so desperately like this.” Many more lewd encouragements and praises flooded your ears and you cursed your imagination. A electric shock spiked through your body as you could feel one of Connor’s hand grab your hips and pull you down onto him as he bucked up into you.

I fucking hate you right now, imagination, you thought angrily to yourself. Now you were ten times more horny than you had been before. You could have played with yourself, but you damned that idea because your parents were in the car. And you refused to do that with anyone, but Connor, around especially with your parents not even a foot in front of you. You had to forcefully tear yourself out of that smutty daydream before you were actually tempted to help yourself out.

Removing one of your earbuds, you asked your mother, “What’s the situation? We still not moving? I zoned out and haven’t been paying attention to traffic.”

With a heavy sigh, your mother answered, “We’re finally starting to move again. After thirty minutes of sitting here. We should be home in about fifteen to twenty minutes now.”

“Wow. I was out for that long? I didn’t even realized,” you said, more to yourself than your parents.

Your dad chuckled, “It’s not like you missed much in those thirty minutes, (y/n). Me and your mother were only making idle chitchat.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed, “I know, that’s why I put my music on and zoned out, dad. What did you two talk about, economics or something?”

“No, we were talking about your relationship with Connor,” your mother quipped, obviously joking.

“Good one, ma. I’m rolling in my grave,” you sarcastically quipped back.

Looking at you through the rear-view mirror, your mother winked at you as she replied, “It’s what I do. I make people roll over in their graves.”

“That’s a terrible joke and you know it, mom,” you snickered.

Scoffing, your mother feigned being offended, “How dare you say your mother’s jokes are terrible! You were the one who started it.” Everyone in the car laughed and you were finally speeding towards home.

Connor had gotten sick of waiting in the living room, so he went to your room and was napping on your bed. At least that was the only thing you could think of as you entered your room to find him sleeping in the middle of your queen-sized bed. Luckily for you, he was napping on his back and you had the perfect idea on how to wake him up. Quietly, almost silently, you placed your bags on the floor just inside your doorway (but they were placed to the left of said doorway); with a smirk on your lips, you glided equally as silent over to your bed. As you approached the foot of your bed, you kicked off your gray sneakers. Once you reached the foot of your bed, you gently put your weight onto the bed and started to crawl towards Connor.

You crawled until you were straddling the handsome long-haired stoner. What was surprisingly is that he didn’t wake up when your mattress dipped due to your weight, which was something he normally did when you tried this. Sitting there, you looked down at his sleeping face. He seemed to be at peace and you smiled to yourself. Half of you felt bad that you had to wake him, but the other half of you didn’t feel bad. You were finally home and he had promised to do something for you when you got back. So, without a second thought, you leaned down and kissed him on the lips, but only for a moment.

Your clothed chest pressed against his, one hand gently combed itself through his brown hair and the other softly caressing his cheek. Sweet, soft, open-mouthed kisses were peppered across his face as you stroked his face with the gentleness of a child who didn’t want to break something precious. Your lips trailed to his jawline were you, just like his face, peppered it in soft open-mouthed kisses. After spending a few moments on his jawline, you kissed upwards to one of his ears whereupon after placing a kiss behind it, whispered a soft, “Connor, I’m home. Wake up.”

A small, nearly inaudible groan came from his throat. His breathing changed and you knew he was waking up. You returned to littering his face with tender kisses, trailing your hand that rested on his cheek down his neck with the lightest touch. Another groan came from his throat as Connor began to stir from his nap. “What?” he hummed in a confused, groggy, just-woken-up voice.

Connor was vaguely aware of the tender touches and kisses he was being showered with. The more he woke up, the more aware he became. He became aware of the weight on him, the gentle lightness of the touches that were now drawing small circles on his clothed chest, the sensation of a hand pleasantly combing through his hair, and he became exceptionally aware of the gentle amorous kisses bestowed to him. Taking in a deep breath through his nose, Connor’s senses were filled instantly with you. You smelled of vanilla today, and your body heat felt pleasant against his own. Without even opening his eyes, he wrapped his arms around your waist and hummed in satisfaction. You were finally back. “Welcome back, dork,” he hummed out, burying his face in your hair.

You hummed into his neck, bringing your arms together around his neck. “Glad to fucking be back, Con,” you whispered into his skin.

He kissed your head and rubbed the small of your back. “How was your trip to hell?” he asked in both a curious and amused voice.

Lifting your face from his neck, you sighed, “It was as good as going to visit my shitty cousins could be. You know how one of them is pregnant, right?”

Opening his eyes, finally, Connor looked down at you. “Yeah? (Y/c/n), right?” he spoke.

You nodded and continued, “Yeeep, that’s the one. Well, so anyways, she wouldn’t shut the fuck up about being pregnant, ya know. Like, whoop-dee-do, your husband got you pregnant because you purposely stopped taking your birth control, congrats. You haven’t been married for four months and you’re pregnant? Congratulations, you’re dumber than I thought. She gets herself pregnant when she can’t stay on one job and fuck if I know what (f/c/h/n) is doing for a job. Point is—they aren’t financially stable enough to have a baby. Babies are expensive, y’know? And yeesus, she wouldn’t shut up showing off how pregnant she is. ‘I’m almost ready to pop, can you believe it, (y/n)?’ or ‘I’m almost in my final trimester, yay’ and ‘Me and (h/n) are so ready for our daughter to come’… ugh, she’s the most self-centered bitch I’ve ever met!”

Connor listened to you, still rubbing the small of your back comfortingly. “Damn, I’m sorry you had to deal with that bitch, babe,” he said.

“It’s fine, I’m several states away from her now, it’s all good. And…” you trailed off and looked at him with a soft and happy smile, “I’m back with you, so… it doesn’t really bother me anymore.”

Your words caused a genuine, heart-melting smile to appear on his lips for a few brief moments. Both of you knew how easy it was for you to break his aggressive persona’s shield, and it was only something you could do. “You’re perfect, you goddamn angel,” he said, sitting up. As he sat up, the hand rubbing the small of your back remained there, and he used it to pull you closer to his body while his other hand trailed up your spine.

A shiver shot through your body as his hand trailed up your spine, over your right shoulder blade, up your neck and stopping on your cheek. Heat rose to your cheeks as he directed your head upwards to look at him and you saw the look in his eyes. Though the smile may have faded from his face, it was ever-present in his eyes. Your stomach filled with butterflies because you knew you were the only person who was allowed to see this side of him. The side of him he kept under tight lock and key: the incredibly loving and almost sickeningly sweet side of him. You were so caught up in your thoughts that before you knew it, his lips were against your own, moving methodically and with the utmost passion.

At first you were taken aback at how genuinely loving and passionate the kiss was. But, after a few brief seconds, you were returning the kiss with just as much fervor. Within two seconds, your arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand dragging itself through his hair near the nape of his neck, eyes closing in bliss. Oh god had the two of you absolutely, wholeheartedly missed everything about one another in that week apart. I missed you so fucking much. That was the message your slow but rapturous kiss portrayed to each other. With each synchronized movement of your lips, another message was conveyed: I missed you too and I’m so damn happy you’re back.

Connor’s hand that had been on your cheek found its way into your hair and grabbed a fistful of your (h/c) tresses as a means of deepening the kiss. He sunk his teeth into your bottom lip gently, trying to coax you into opening your mouth. And of course, you were not in any state where you would be able to handle the consequences if you teased him; after all, he did have a fistful of your hair that he knew you loved being tugged, so you weren’t going to tempt the fates right then. Just as you were about to open your mouth, Connor tugged on your hair, causing you to gasp. Apparently, you had taken too long to give him what he wanted. His tongue darted into your mouth and thus the fight for dominance began.

The fight for dominance didn’t last as long as it normally would have, because as previously mentioned, you were in no state to deny Connor. Once you were successfully subdued, Connor retreated from your mouth, his tongue licking your bottom lip in arrogance. You had to admit, when he got arrogant, it was kind of hot, so you let it slide for now.

This impassioned kiss seemed to go on for a lifetime, as both you and Connor had melted into it. Into each other. Unfortunately, all things must come to an end. Oxygen was needed by both of you; you could sense Connor’s reluctance to pull away for air, but you knew it had to happen. You would have pulled away, but the hand in your hair kept you from the inevitable retreat. Finally, after a moment of hesitation, Connor pulled away from the kiss, and left a few inches between your faces. A cliché thin string of saliva connected your lips before it broke. Both of you were breathing deeply, desperate to fill your lungs with air.

“Wow…” you breathed out. Sure you two have shared intense, intimate kisses similar to that one before, but that kiss that just ended was so much different than the others. It was the pure, raw emotion of love and sheer gratification of seeing each other again bundled up in a powerful, breathtaking kiss.

Connor rested his forehead against your as he took deep breaths, his warm breath hitting your face. He was surprised. Never before had he ever kissed someone with that much feeling before, and you two shared kisses of a faintly similar degree of that one before. Connor was just so awestruck that being away from you for a week could do that to him—could give him the means to kiss someone with that much longing and love he felt like he had poured out his heart. “…yeah…” he breathed out, just above a whisper.

Your heart was racing and your face felt like it was on fire. Not to mention the fire embers that rested deep in your gut. “Connor…” you said, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah?” came his answer, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Didn’t you have something planned for when I got back,” you questioned.

Connor’s eyes softened and he said, “Fucking course I do. All you gotta do is get your ass in my truck and we can get this shit rolling.”

A giggle left your lips as you answered, “I would love that.” The two of you untangled yourselves from each other and you moved to the end of your bed. Bending over, you grabbed your sneakers and put them on once again. “So?” you said, Connor hummed hmm in response and you continued, “What do you have planned?”

Connor sat beside you, putting on his combat boots. “Well, I’m treating you to dinner at (f/r). Then afterwards, we’re going to go stargazing at the park for a bit and after that, anything is possible,” he said. “And seeing as it is 7:00 PM, I’ll say it’s going to be plenty dark for us to see the damn stars.”

You didn’t know what to say. It was pretty obvious he had put some thought into this and you were excited. “That sounds… wonderful, Con. Though, really, we don’t have to go eat at my favorite restaurant. It would be perfect just going to stargaze with you,” you answered.

“I fucking knew you would say that but, (y/n), I want to do this. Tonight is about you. Now, you ready?” he said, standing up from your bed.

Pushing yourself off the bed, you answered, “Course I’m ready, sexy-pants. Let’s go!” You walked out of your room and down the stairs, hearing Connor following you. Grabbing your over-the-shoulder purse, you open the door to your house. “Mom, Dad! Connor is taking me out tonight, we’ll be back sometime around 10-ish!” you exclaimed from the doorway.

Connor stepped outside the door and stood beside you, as you two waited for your parents’ answer. “Okay, honey! Have fun on your date!” came your mother’s booming voice.

Smiling, you started to close the door. “I will! See ya!” With that, the door was closed and you looked over at Connor. “To da truck!” you exclaimed, running off to his truck, that was parked out by your mailbox. Connor rolled his eyes and ran after you.

It took you and Connor ten minutes to get to your favorite restaurant, but neither of you minded how long it took. In fact, you really could have cared less, you were just happy to be back with your boyfriend. Arctic Monkeys played softly in the background as you two sat in traffic. “Hey, Con,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, dork?” came his voice as he looked over at you.

“Thanks for taking me out,” you thanked him.

“You’re my fucking girlfriend, dork, of course I would take you out.”

You smiled, a slight blush dusting your cheeks. “You’re the best, Con…”

Connor pulled into a parking place and turned off his truck. Before he got out of his truck, he grabbed your hand and said, “No, you’re the fucking best, dork.” After he said that, he got out of his truck and walked over to your door, opening it. “Now, what do you say? Ready to go inside?”

Giggling you said, pushing yourself out of his truck. “Yes, I am,” came your answer. You stood beside him as he shut his car door, you threaded your fingers through his and looked at him. “Hope you don’t mind.”

He squeezed your hand that he was now holding and said, “How could I ever fucking not mind holding your hand?”

Shrugging, you started moving towards the restaurant. “I dunno, sometimes you do.” Connor knew he couldn’t deny your words and was dragged behind you as you walked. “I’m really excited for after dinner,” you said, looking at him again.

“Me neither, dork,” came his reply. You two walked into the restaurant and Connor said, “Table for two.”

The lady smiled and ushered you forward, saying, “Of course, right this way, sir.” The two of you followed her, sadly no longer holding hands, to your table—you two were going to sit at a two-manned table. “Here you are,” she said with a sweet voice as she placed down two menus. “Your server will be right with you.”

You nestled into the seat. “Okay, thank you ma’am,” you thanked the usher in a sweet voice as well. Once she disappeared, you looked at the menu. Eyes scanned for the cheapest thing. “What’s the cheapest thing?” you questioned yourself.

A scoff came from Connor’s direction and you looked up at him. “Oh no, dork. You get to order whatever the jell it is you want to. Mom gave me a good bit of money for tonight, so please, get what you want,” he said seriously.

“Okay, okay,” you squeaked and looked for something you wanted. Something you craved—besides the man before you of course. Biting your lower lip, you found something that was decently priced.

Soon, your server bounded up to the table. He seemed like a happy fella. “Hello, my name is Frankie and I will be your server today. What can I get you two to drink?” he asked in a chipper, but not too chipper tone.

“I want water,” Connor ordered.

Frankie looked at you and you said, “I also want water.”

He smiled as he wrote your drink orders down. “Awesome. So do you both know what you want to eat tonight?” he asked, looking at you two.

“You ready to order, Con?” you asked your boyfriend.

“Yeah, sure,” he said. Turning his head to look at Frankie, he placed his order. Frankie nodded and wrote it down and when his gaze fell on you, you smiled nervously. You ordered, and it fell out of your mouth in a jumbled heap of words and sounds. You had no idea why you were so anxious when it came to ordering food, but you just were.

Thankfully Frankie completely understood what you had said and wrote it down. “Alrighty then, let me go get your waters and you’ll food will be right out,” he said with a smile as he walked away for a brief moment.

You let out a relieved sigh, “Thank God…”

“Every time you have to order food you stumble over every word like the fucking dork that you are,” chuckled Connor.

“Shut up, Con… it’s embarrassing! I can’t help it that I’m anxious about that,” you moaned, covering your face.

Connor smiled at your embarrassment for a second. “I never said it was a bad thing,” he snickered. “In fact, I find it pretty fucking cute.”

You glared at him and was about to say something back to him when Frankie walked up with your drinks. He placed a water in front of you and Connor, saying there your drinks were. Putting on a smile, you said, “Thank you, Frankie.”

“You’re welcome,” said Frankie as he straightened up and walked off again. Probably to take care of his other tables.

It took your food about fifteen minutes to get out to you. Not that you and Connor much minded, you two were just conversing about how your week apart was. Connor told you how he practically lived at your house the whole week just to take care of your dogs. He also went on and talked about how much he missed you, albeit he said it just loud enough for you to hear.

Connor told you about how much he missed your beaming smile and the warmth of your presence. He went on and on about how he had missed holding you in his arms, feeling your body pressed to his, in more than one way. Connor explains how one night he woke up incredibly hot and bothered and that was all he would say about it in public—it was too indecent to speak loud enough were someone else may hear.

It made you smile as he told you how much he missed you. “Honestly though, sexy, me too. I missed you more than I thought I could ever miss someone who aren’t Marri and Cleo,” you said, beaming at him.

Just after he said that, Frankie came up with your food. Once he set it down in front of you, you both thanked him. Connor rolled his eyes and began eating his food. “I know, dork,” was his only answer. You two looked at each other, smiled then started to dig into your food.

After you had finished dinner, and Connor payed for it, it was time for stargazing for a while. It was only 8:45 pm, seeing as you two had lost yourself in a conversation after you had finished your meals. Now, you were both in the truck and were on the way to the park. “It’s a beautiful, clear night,” you said as you stuck your head out of the window.

“It is. Perfect for stargazing, right?”

You nodded happily as you answered, “Damn right, Con! Geez, tonight’s been great!”

Connor looked at you and said with underlying meaning, “It’s gonna get better after we stargaze.”

“Oh, can’t wait, Con,” you answered with a wink.

“Neither can I, dork, neither can I. How I’ve been able to contain myself I may never fucking know,” he said with a snicker.

You shrugged and replied, “Maybe we’ll fuck in the park, who knows?”

“And risk someone, anyone but me hear your moans? Yeah, I don’t think so, dork. We can wait until we get back to your house.”

“But Connor!” you whined.

“But Connor, nothing, (y/n). Your moans are for me and only me to hear, got it?”

You pouted and crossed your arms, huffing out, “But I want it.”

Connor raised an eyebrow in amusement. “And you think I don’t want it as much as, if not more than, you? Because if you think that, you would be so wrong, dammit,” he spoke.

Taking that as a challenge, you said, “I know I want sex more than you, Con. I literally had a daydream, while stuck in traffic on the way home, of us fucking. And oh my God, it turned me on so fucking much that I contemplated fingering myself while my parents were in the car!”

“Oh yay for fucking you, dork. I wasn’t even satisfied when I jerked off all week! I got off once��and it was only because you sent me the video on Tuesday. It’s not as satisfying to get myself off,” countered Connor.

You pouted and huffed again, “At least you could relieve yourself, I was stuck in a car with my parents, horny as fuck for twenty minutes!”

The two of you bickered back and forth until you reached the park. “We’re here. Can we have a good fucking time stargazing, (y/n)? Or are you going to bitch about how horny you are?” Connor snipped as he got out of the car.

You jumped out of the car, snipping back, “Yes we can have a good fucking time stargazing! And how dare you! You were talking about how horny you were during the week while we were eating!”

“Dammit, dork! Be that as it may, can you just come lay in the grass with me for fuck’s sake?” he almost commanded.

“Fine,” you said sitting down beside Connor. After getting comfortable, you leaned back into the grass. Your hair splayed across the grass beneath your head as you looked at the sky. Your slight irritation with your boyfriend melted away as the sight of the stars soothed you. “Sorry I started bickering with you, Con,” you apologized after a few moments of silence.

Sighing, Connor answered, “It’s fine, (y/n). Now just… enjoy the fucking night sky.”

Not even answering him, you nodded and continued looking at the sky. Your hand had a mind of its own as it snaked its way over to Connor’s hand and latched on. Instantly, Connor weaved his fingers through yours and let out a comforting sigh. The two of you sat in silence, besides the sounds of the woods around you, and watched the night sky. Tonight had been the perfect ‘welcome back home’ anybody could have ever given you, and you were going to let Connor know how much you appreciated it later.

As you two laid there on the grass, watching the night sky, a shooting star streaked across the sky and you squeezed his hand. “Con, did you see that?!” you exclaimed.

“I did, dork, I did. That was pretty damn cool. Wish we could see a fucking comet,” he said.

Your eyes left the night sky and you looked at Connor. “Maybe we’ll see one in our lifetime… together,” you said with a underlying sweetness.

Connor tore his eyes from the sky to look at you and he was shocked to see the immense amount of love that swirled in your eyes. He was almost struck wordless, but he managed to say, “Yeah… maybe…”

Giggling cutely, you turned your eyes back on the sky. While your eyes returned to stargazing, Connor’s eyes were still trained on you. You looked just like you did on your first date. (H/c) tresses splayed around your head, your lips upturned in the most heart-stopping grin, and your eyes. Oh, your eyes were twinkling again, just like the first time you guys had done this. (E/c) orbs twinkled with wonderment, excitement and most importantly—love. Love for him and he knew that. You were glowing to him, the pale moonlight accenting your skin, and just overall warmth glow you always gave off. Connor thanked whatever God who had sent you to him a million times over because you the single best thing that happened to him.

You were having the best time just looking at the sky, holding your boyfriend’s hand. “That shooting star was the coolest thing I’ve seen tonight,” you said. “Have you seen any—” you turned to look at him and saw he was just looking at you intensely, “Connor? You okay, sexy-pants?”

Your voice addressing him snapped him out of his trance-like gaze and train of thought. “Huh?” he asked quietly.

Sitting up, you looked down at him. “You zoned out, you okay? You hardly ever do that,” you said.

“Sorry, I guess I lost in my fucking thoughts. You just looked like you did on our first date,” he said with air-quotes.

“Oh really? How’s that?” you asked him.

Connor sat up and for the first time in a while, he blushed. Because of you. He looked back towards the sky, seemingly in thought of how to describe how you looked. His eyes focused on the sky for minutes on end as he scoured his brain for the rights words. Taking in a deep breath through his nose, he was finally ready. He knew he was about to stumble over his words, which was something he never did. “Well, you looked… still look… like the image of perfection. You, well, you look so at peace when you look at the night sky. Your perfect (e/c) orbs gazing lovingly at the sky, not to mention how your eyes twinkle with wonderment as you ponder things under the sky with me. The warm smile as you and I talk about things… the way the moonlight accents your warm and welcoming glow…” he trailed off, finding himself staring into your softened eyes. When he saw the smile on your face, he tore his loving gaze away from you. Why was he so weak to you? “You know, shit like that, okay? You’re just so fucking beautiful that when I see you like that it makes me wonder why you chose me. I’m the aggressive fucking stoner freak at school and you’re this beautiful young woman, so I always think why.”

You had scooted closer to Connor as he talked, to which of course he didn’t notice, he was too busy babbling. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you cut him off, “Connor!” He stopped talking and noticed you leaning on him. You chuckled at his silence, “Con, that’s so fucking sweet. You’re such a sweetheart to me and I appreciate it to no end. I’m actually kind of embarrassed.” You touched your cheek and it was hot, “Your kind and loving words make my heart flutter, I never knew you felt that way. Never knew that was how I looked to you. I’ve always felt like I’m the Ugly Duckling who nobody loved. Except my parents, obviously. But, when we started hanging out sophomore year, I felt happy. Because I was that girl no guy would look twice at—I was like a female version of Evan without the crippling social anxiety.”

“That’s not true, (y/n). You have always been beautiful to me. Even before we started hanging out and dating,” Connor interrupted.

Chuckling, you continued, “That’s sweet, Con. Now, addressing why I chose you—I chose you because I knew that under your whole bad boy aggressive stoner act, you’re a loving guy. And my proof is the words you just said—in the way you described how I look to you. That’s why I fell in love with you, Connor Murphy. Because you’re a big ole softie under your cold exterior.” You poked his stomach to make a point, laughing as his body jumped away after he was poked. “At least… you’re a softie for me under that exterior. And I love that. I love that I’m the only one who can do that to you. And you’re the only one who can melt my heart with just a loving glance.”

Connor looked down at you, struck silent by your words, soaking them in. After a few moments of silence between the two of you, he sighed and leaned his head on yours. He reached for your hand and placed his on top of yours. An almost breathless laugh escaped him as he said, “Listen to us, goddammit. We’re getting all fucking sentimental and shit. But, you’re right. You’re the only one who does this to me. I turn into a pile of mush for you. I feel things I’ve never felt with such intensity because of you. I thought I would never be more in love with someone before, but fuck, here you are. Jesus fucking Christ, what have you done to me?”

“Made you a softie for me,” you giggled quietly.

“Yeah, and I fucking hate it,” he responded.

You giggled again, louder this time, “I know you do. Boo hoo for you. You know you love me enough to love it.”

He snickered out a, “You’re fucking lucky I do, dork.”

“I know. I really am lucky. I mean, I have an amazing boyfriend who took me out to my favorite restaurant and then stargazing and then got all mushy and shit with me. An amazing boyfriend who makes me feel so loved,” you said sweetly.

Connor hummed at your words as he answered, “You’re lucky? I’m lucky that I have you, just in general. You’re a great friend and wonderful girlfriend. God fuck, I just love you so damn much.”

You gently picked up your head from Connor’s shoulder, lightly bumping his head off yours so that you could look at him. Your free hand came up and touched his cheek, and soon you were moving his face so where he was looking at you. “I love you so fucking much, too, Con,” you said quietly before moving in for another kiss.

Connor’s free hand traveled to you hair and combed through it as you two drew closer to each other’s faces. Your lips pressed together gently and moved slowly in synch, like the kiss shared on your bed. However, this one was a whole different kind of kiss. It was a slow and sweet, diabetes-inducing, kiss. The hand that was on top of yours moved to your waist as Connor pulled you closer to him and the hand in your hair continued combing through your soft tresses. His eyes refusing to close, as to not miss the blissful look on your face.

He felt the hand he had been holding move to rest on his thigh, drawing tiny heart patterns into the cloth of his jeans. Connor also felt the hand that had been cupping his cheek fall to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. You looked so at peace as you two shared this sweet kiss, the slight dust of red on your cheeks and the relaxed expression your eyebrows portrayed. Soon, Connor’s eyes finally gave in and closed as he lost himself in the kiss.

It was your turn to open your eyes. The scene you saw make your heart throb in so many ways. Connor had his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed in pure bliss. The hand on the crook of his neck trailed down to his shirt and you grabbed a fistful of it. The hand on his thigh you snaked up to the hem of his shirt and started playing with it. Your shared kiss was still slow and sweet, and you wanted to turn the kiss from sweet to steamy. And first thing’s first, you nibble on his lower lip, trying to deepen the kiss.

You stopped fisting his shirt and push your palm flat against his chest, prepping to do something. Not breaking the kiss, you swiveled your body in front of him. Worried he had caught on, you looked at him, making sure he still hadn’t noticed, which he hadn’t; he was too lost in your kiss it was amazing. Deciding to do this before he caught on, you pushed him to the ground, unfortunately breaking the kiss.

He looked like he had been ripped from heaven. Looking down at him, you marveled at how attractive he truly looked—his long hair was scrunched up under his head, his eyes were looking up at you with wonder, pupils dilated in a swirl of emotions, lips slightly parted, his chest erratically yet rhythmically rising and falling. You felt your body warm up as you gazed at your boyfriend below you. Both of your hands now rested in the middle of his chest as you straddled him. Your own breathing was quite erratic and heavy. “You look… really attractive right now,” you breathed out in a low whisper.

Looking up at you, Connor didn’t know what to say. You looked really attractive to him, too. After all, you were on top of him, the pale moonbeams reflecting softly off your skin, hair disheveled, eyes hooded and lips now curled into a devious smile. His hands, that had been pushed to the ground below them, moved to touch your body. One hand came to rest on your hip while the other reached to your face, cupping your cheek. His lips curled into a gentle smile as you nuzzled into his hand. Connor swiped his thumb across your cheek affectionately as he said back, “I could say the same fucking thing about you, (y/n). If we continue this shit, we won’t be looking at the sky; so, you ready to go back to your house?”

You sighed out in relief. Of course you were ready to go home, you needed to relieve the sexual frustration that had been built up for a week and for the past several hours. “Hell yes,” you whispered. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that, god dammit Connor. Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?”

Rolling his eyes, he answered, “Patience is a virtue, dork. Learn some fucking patience.”

“I have been patient for a whole damn week and the past few hours, shut your sexy mouth, dick!” you groaned, rolling off of him and standing up.

Connor stood up following you. “You act as if I’m not in the same fucking boat, dork,” he said, brushing grass off himself.

You mimicked his action and when he moved towards his truck, you followed him. It was obvious that he was in the same boat as you because you saw the idea of having sex with you right then and there flash in his eyes. Half of you wanted him to do it, it would have been exciting: having sex in a public place where anyone could walk or drive by and see you two. However, there the other half of you that wanted the privacy of your room; in your room, he could take his time and give your body the intimate touches it craved. You could also take your time and satisfy him the way he would do to you, if he let you that was.

Remember, that night was centered around you. Connor had made that perfectly clear in the texts he had sent you earlier that day. ‘Tonight is about you, babe. When we get home from our outing, all you have to is relax. I’ll do all the damn work because you had to deal with family all week’, you recalled one such texts to yourself. Upon remembering those words, you sighed mentally for those words meant that it would be hard for you to satisfy your boyfriend. Because when Connor Murphy was set on something, he was set on something. With the sexual tension growing thicker by the minute, you and Connor quickly got into his truck.

The whole ride back to your house was spent in silence, the sexual tension had grown so strong that it was almost tangible and able to be cut with a butterknife. Both you and Connor’s minds were going nuts, both of you wanted what was inevitably coming for far too long. The two of you could just practically hear the whispering moans of the other and it sent your bodies into collective overdrive. What made it even worse was that you were so close to each other yet so far, and you had to keep each other at a distance for the moment. For if one of you muttered a single word, it would end in the truck being stopped, bodies pushed against each other and squished into the backseat, and the windows being fogged over. Like the scene in Titanic, you know the one.

You sat there, one half of your brain filling your head with obscene images and the other half wondering how the sexual tension had gotten so bad. Literally less than an hour ago you and Connor were out on a simple, sweet date and now you two were ready to go at it like rabbits. How did it get this bad this quick, you thought as you gazed out the window at the houses pass by. Guess being away from someone for a week then coming back and making out with said person will do that, huh?

Little did you know that Connor was almost to the point of desperation for you that he had thought about having sex in the backseat. But that thought only lasted for a minute. His left leg started to bounce as he tried to keep his thoughts focused on the road before him. Sure he could last another five minutes until you two arrived at your house, right? Surely he could. All he had to do was ignore those images flooding his mind. Images of you. Ones were your back was pushed up against your bedroom’s door, gorgeous (h/c) hair even more disheveled than it already was, lips slightly opened and bruised from all the kissing, eyes hooded and darkened with desire. Desire for him and only him. He growled lowly to himself, growing even more frustrated at the images.

Other images that flashed through his head were a couple of times worse than the aforementioned one. Others were flashes of you, completely naked, skin so flushed it was almost hot to the touch and greedy, lustful eyes looking down at him. Connor could hear the sinful moans that would fly out of your mouth as he worked you to your peak. Even in his daydream, he reveled in the lewd sounds and profanities spewing from your mouth. Reveled in the way his name fell brokenly off your lips. He’d be damned if he didn’t admit to himself that seeing you like that got him going, even as a daydream.

Your hands were both itching to touch one another, to be all over one another, and the two of you begged for your house to come into view. Thankfully, your house seemingly answered both your prayers—you saw it appear in the distance. You wanted to break the tense silence that drowned out even the music playing in the background, but you refrained from doing so just yet. Instead of voicing your excitement of seeing your house, you opted for biting your lower lip. A hand fiddled with the hem of your shirt as you felt an intense excitement wash over your whole body, from head to toe.

The two of you knew that once you got into your room, the painfully taut tension would snap and the two of you would just be acting instinctually. You would be on each other like white on rice, both your bodies acting on the carnal desire alone. At least to begin with. Once the clothes were torn off and you each laid bare before the other, just maybe would things settle down. Settled enough so where you two could take time to appreciate the touches, slow them down and just be more passionate and loving than carnal and instinctual.

Of course, you both reminded yourselves to try and take it slow. Tonight was about the two of you being reunited after a long week, it was meant to be passionate and methodical and slow—not fast, messy and fueled only by instinct. And if one of you tried taking it too fast, the other had the job of slowing it down again. I’m going to take my time. We aren’t wild fucking animals who just want to reproduce, the two of you thought in unison. Both you and Connor nodded to yourselves as you thought that.

Connor slowed to a stop in front of your house, finally able to tear his eyes from the road. He saw that you were staring intensely out the window and weren’t even aware you had stopped. Clearing his throat quietly, he finally broke the silence, “We’re home.”

Your head snapped towards him and he saw the blush rising to your cheeks. “We, umm, we… we are…?” you stuttered out. Connor nodded and you took a second look out the window. “Oh yeah… yeah we are…” you muttered, cupping your cheek. It was on fire. Not taking a second to spare, you unbuckle yourself and hopped out of his truck. “Well, let’s go to my room… yeah…?”

He nodded and quickly got out of the truck. Instantly, he was by your side and an arm was wrapped around your waist. Connor pulled you close to him as you both walked to the front door, and he pressed a kiss on your temple. It was hard for Connor not to push you up against the nearest surface as you near the front door. The desire he felt seeped through every pore of his body and you soaked it in almost greedily. The moment you two reached your front door, Connor had extended a hand to grab and open said door.

“Ah,” you sighed out quietly, “thanks, Con.”

“You’re welcome, (y/n),” he answered quietly as you two walked into your house. He closed the door behind him, finally releasing your waist.

The moment the door closed, a silence fell over you two once again. Thankfully, the silence was broken as your mother called out to you from the living room, “Honey? Is that you and Connor?”

Clearing your throat gently, you answered your mother, “Yeah, it’s us mom. I told you we would be home around 10ish! Hey, is it cool if Con spent the night?”

Both you and Connor could hear the knowing grin in your mother’s answer, “Of course he can, darling. He’s always welcomed here! You two try not to stay up too late tonight, okay? Can’t have you two being hermits in your room all day tomorrow, now can we?”

You felt yourself blushing even more, even your mother knew what was about to happen. It was embarrassing to know she knew, but how were you supposed to keep that a secret from your mom. She knew the day after you had lost your virginity and she was smiling stupidly, surprisingly happy for you. “N-no ma’am, we can’t have that, Ma. We’ll try not to stay up too late,” you answered your mother, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck.

Connor grabbed your hand and hastily climbed the stairs to your room, he was fed up with waiting and patience. Your little gasps of ‘slow down, Con’ fell on deaf ears as all Connor had in mind was getting into your room and pushing you against the nearest surface. When he reached your room, he nearly busted the door open, and without a second of hesitation, he yanked you into your room.

The next few seconds were a blur. You vaguely remembered hearing your back land against the door with a dull thud as the weight of your body closed said door. You felt Connor’s hands as they slammed gently against the door beside your head, caging you in. Chewing your lower lip, you let out a small, nervous breath of air through your nose. Your hands dangled at your sides, and they itched to reach out and touch the man before you; shakily, your arms moved as you subconsciously go for Connor’s shoulders. Wrapping your arms around his neck, the two of you stood there, in a heated silence. This silence between you two had become too common that night, but you could have cared less—you were lost in the ravenous pools of molted lava that were Connor’s eyes.

You had been completely oblivious to Connor inching towards your face until you felt both his searing breath and the ghosting feeling of his lips on yours. A hot, shaky breath escaped your body as you instinctively leaned forward, sealing the kiss. The floodgates were opened.

In an instant, Connor’s hands were on your body, one on the base of your skull to deepen the kiss and the other one gripping your hips, pulling them into his. He was absolutely shameless now, he ground his hips into yours to show you how hard he was for you. Connor soon pulled away from the short, impassioned kiss and started peppering your face with sweltering kisses. He placed a few kisses on your cheek before moving down—he brushed his lips lightly against the skin of your jawline.

You sighed in utter, breathy satisfaction as he did so. He knew how much you loved the teasing, light kisses to your jawline and neck. Each time Connor ground your hips together, he would pushed harder and harder against you, as if he was trying to get you to break. Honestly, you were ready to break at the park, but now it was so much worse—with the friction between your hips and the feathery kisses planted on your neck, you were so ready to break.

Connor’s hand that had been at the base of your skull moved into your hair, as he tugged on it, forced your head back. He did that so he had more access to your neck, and he enjoyed the low groan that spewed from your body. Now that he had access to your neck in full, Connor’s feathery kisses turned into short bursts of sucking and nibbling. As he searched for your sweet-spot, the hand on your hips trailed down to your calf and wrapped your leg around his waist so he could keep dry-humping you; once your leg was hooked around his waist, his hand trailed up your leg and hip to the hem of your shirt. He pushed your shirt up as he slithered it up it.

A surprised gasp left your lips as you felt his cool hand against the heated skin of your torso and stomach. You felt him smirk against the skin of your neck as he muttered, “You’re on fire, (y/n)… you enjoying it that much?”

Shivers and goosebumps echoed throughout your body as he ghosted his hand across your stomach to the middle of your lower torso. Once his touch stopped dead in the center your eyes widened as he then continued his trail, downwards this time. Your body was shaking in anticipation when his fingers tapped on the button of your jeans. Take them off, please God take them off Connor, you thought to yourself. At that moment, you were so stimulated that you couldn’t trust your voice—it would either be high and squeaky or low and almost inaudible. You cursed both your mind and the earlier kisses for turning you into the hypersensitive mess you were now; this had never happened before, even when Connor would overstimulate you, you could always talk, beg him but this time was different. You weren’t quite sure if you liked that feeling of being so stimulated you couldn’t even speak.

Connor momentarily abandoned your neck as he kissed your collarbone a few times before pulling away to look at you. You were an absolute mess and he adored it: your head was leaned back against the door, hair now disheveled to the point of knots, (e/c) eyes glazed over with so much feeling he could have drowned, face and skin flushed a bright pink, and chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. He knew how sensitive and stimulated you were, he could feel it in the way your body shook against his. Connor took his time casting his greedy gaze upon you, memorizing how stunning you looked in that moment.

After he memorized every shaky breath you took, every desperate buck of your hips against his, he slowly unbuttoned your pants and dragged the zipper down at an agonizing pace. Connor wriggled his hand into your panties, halting his grinding hips, and hummed as he felt how wet you were for him. “Jesus fucking Christ, dork,” he breathed out, “you’re really excited, huh?”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you growled out, finally breaking your silence. Your hands suddenly move from around his neck to his hair as you forcefully pull his face to yours. This kiss only lasted a few brief seconds but it was fiery and intense; once you pulled away from the kiss, you unhooked your leg from around Connor’s waist and placed your hands on his chest. “Enough making out on my door, Con… let’s move to my bed, yeah?” you whispered near his ear before nibbling on the shell.

Your actions had caused him to take his hand out of your pants. His lips twisted into a seductive little smirk as he said, “I second that motion. To fucking bed.” After he spoke those words, he grabbed one of your wrists and pulled you against him. Kisses were planted on your collarbone again, his lips soon dispersing and going everywhere on what little exposed skin there was as he backed up towards your bed. His other hand made quick work of your shirt, getting it mid-torso before he needed assistance from the hand around your wrist.

Connor was reluctant to remove his lips from your skin, but he wanted your shirt gone, so he pulled away long enough to yank it over your head. Once your shirt was off, his lips were kissing the newly exposed skin. One of his hands threw your shirt off somewhere in your room, while the other one pulled at your jeans. “Lose ‘em before we get to the bed,” he growled, “or I rip these ones, too.” Butterfly kisses were pressed against your right shoulder after he growled out his command.

You nodded, somehow able to remove your shoes then jeans from your body without tripping. Now you were left in only your bra and panties and the cool air of your room caused a shiver to take over your body. You were unaware that Connor had turned you around so that you would fall to the bed first until your head hit the mattress. Yet another gasp fell from your lips as you said, crawling up towards your pillows, “H-how did you do that without looking?”

“I’m that fucking good at it, I guess,” came his answer. His lips were pressing open-mouth kisses to the swells of your breasts and it made you gasp even more. While one of his hands was being used to keep himself propped above you, the other snaked around your chest to the middle of your back where the clasp of the bra was located. Unclasping your bra was an easy feat for him at this point, so in a blink of an eye, your (f/c) bra was peeled off your body and thrown away from the bed.

Once again the cool air hit your body, but this time is was contrasted by Connor’s hot breath. Your body was conflicted on how to feel and you moaned in response, unsure how to appease your body’s contradiction. Soon, however, that contradiction was corrected as Connor covered one of your breasts with his now warm hand. Looking down you see Connor’s body now bent over yours, not being propped up, and his eyes looked up at you, even hungrier than they were less than ten minutes ago. An electric tingle course through your veins as you watched him through hooded eyes.

While he fondled one of your breasts, he was kissing the curves of the other, meanwhile the hand that had been used to prop himself up was now trailing up your thigh at a snail’s pace. Not to mention that all the while, his ravenous, desire-soaked eyes never left your gaze; soon the look in his eyes was too much, you threw your head back and let out the ghost of a whimper. Your body arched into his touches, twitching at the lightness of his touches and begged to be touched in a rougher fashion. Against the skin of your left breast, you felt him smile almost smugly as he took in the effect he was having on you.

Connor’s left hand finally reached the apex of your legs and he teasingly rubbed you through your panties. That caused your hips to buck against his hand on their own, and a lewd moan to pass your lips. That’s it, he thought to himself, that’s the touch she wanted most. What a lewd girlfriend I have been blessed with. He ever-so-slightly retreated from your clothed core, wondering just how badly you wanted it.

And you did not disappoint. Your head shot up and you looked at him with the most vulnerable look on your face as you pleaded, “No no no no! Please don’t stop, Connor! I need you to touch me, please!”

His eyebrows raised in amusement. Connor Murphy absolutely loved to desperate for his touch like that. He licked his lips before bending down to give you a quick peck on the lips, while his hand went to peel your panties off. “What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t give my gorgeous girlfriend what she wanted?” he asked against your lips.

You opened your lips to answer, but any words that had been in your head were reduced to an erotic string of moans and nonsense. The only words that fell off of your tongue were, “F-fuck Con…!” He had dipped one of his long fingers into your heat without warning and it felt like heaven. It had been a week since you felt this hot, this turned on, this needy and your fingers couldn’t quite do it for you. You always wanted more, wanted Connor, and now your body was getting the release it had been craving.

You could hear the smugness in his voice as he whispered into your ear, “Already about to cum, sweetie? I haven’t even done anything yet.” Of course, as soon as he said that he started to pump his finger in and out of you at a sinfully slow pace. He was keen on making you writhe in unadulterated pleasure—after all, that night was just for you. Connor’s eyes watched your reaction with utmost delight, he felt a jolt of suffocating desire shot directly to his dick as you bucked against his hand and moaned out his name, begging him to speed up. His lips curled into a devious smirk as he very slowly picked up the pace, but only slightly.

“Goddammit, Connor,” you growled, your eyes glaring fiercely down at him. “Stop fucking teasing me! Do it right and stop pussy-footing around!”

Connor rolled his eyes and gave into you. His finger pumped in and out of you at a decent pace and he made it better as he leaned down towards your breasts. You were about to question what he was doing until you felt his searing tongue circle around one of your nipples. Immediately, you threw your head back and moaned low in your throat; Connor felt satisfied by your reaction and he soon brought his free hand up to your other breast. He took your other nipple between his fingers and started to toy with it.

You were bucking yourself against his hand, craving for him to find that spot that made you see stars. Chills ran up your body as Connor’s mouth pulled away from your nipple—leaving it covered in saliva and intensifying the cool air of your room. Your hands flew somewhere, anywhere, and that anywhere turned out to be the comforter beneath your body. “C-Connor… m-more…” you panted, staring him in the eyes.

As you stared at him, you became painfully aware of just how clothed he was, and it irked your nerves. Moving your hands from the comforter to his shirt, you yanked his face close to yours as you hissed, “You’re wearing far too many clothes…”

Connor rolled his eyes and swatted your hands away, abandoning your nipple. “Oh am I now? And just what the fuck are you going to do about it, hmm? I have you completely vulnerable and bare underneath me, not to mention how greedily your pussy keeps sucking my finger back in,” he challenged you, breathing hotly onto your ear.

A fiery determination built up in your chest at his challenge. The look in your eyes changed, and even Connor knew that, as you forcefully swatted his hand away from your needy folds. “I’ll show you, Con,” you huffed as you sat up. The moment you had fully sat yourself up, you grabbed Connor by his shirt and threw him onto your bed. And you were hovering above him now. “Here, allow me to tear off your clothes as you always tear off mine,” you sneered playfully.

You had your head hovering above his stomach because you had a plan. Taking the hem of his shirt into your hands, you started drawing it upwards. As the skin of your boyfriend’s toned stomach came into your greedy eyes sights, you bent to it, pressing kisses along the warm flesh. The higher you hiked up the shirt, the more skin was revealed and the more your open-mouthed kisses were feverishly pressed to it, like you needed all of his body to bask in your kisses.

Soon, you had completely removed his shirt and threw it off to the side; your face was leveled with his and you took a moment to bask in the loving and lustful look consuming Connor’s eyes. It made your stomach churn because the love in his eyes outweighed the lust, and it just made you feel so loved and accepted. Swooping in, you placed a gentle, longing kiss to his lips before you started the trek downwards. You had to swat Connor’s hands away from your face because you knew he was trying to prolong the kiss and that wasn’t what you had in mind. “Patience, Con, patience,” you said against the skin of his jaw.

A scoff resonated in his throat and you could hear the rolling of his eyes. But, you payed it no attention as you kissed down his jaw, peppered them across his neck, planted lingering open-mouthed ones to his collarbone and ghosted your lips down his chest. Both of your hands slowly traced the waistband of his jeans, itching to undo them, but you told yourself to wait for a few moments. Connor was growing eager for your touch, you could feel it in the way his body tensed as you fingered his jeans’ waistband, and you smiled.

One of your hands threw tiny hearts just above Connor’s right hip. Your lips dragged slowly down the extent of Connor light happy trail. Your kisses soon stopped as you reached the top of his jeans. Casting your eyes upwards, you weren’t surprised to see Connor’s smoldering eyes staring down at you with intensity. Not wanting to break eye contact with him, you smirked as your hands fumbled with the button of his jeans purposely, just to tease him.

You knew how much he needed those jeans of his to be off his body, because you could feel how hard he was. Painfully so, and you were sure the pressure of the jeans were only making it worse. Therefore, being the awesome girlfriend you were, you decided to stop teasing him and unbutton his jeans. The little sigh of relief was like music to your ears, and you decided to fully relieve him of his constricting pants. Gently, you pulled down the zipper, trying your best to not get it snagged on anything.

Connor felt every tooth of the zipper being unzipped and it enticed him. Once the zipper was fully unzipped he lifted his hips up so you could peel his jeans off. You did not falter and you quickly yanked them off, to his utter relief; in his relief, he threw his head back into your pillows for a brief moment and breath a sigh of relief. Now he was almost as naked as you were, left only in his boxers. After relishing in the relief, he looked back down at you, realizing you hadn’t removed his boxers yet. “Why haven’t you ripped my fucking boxers off yet, sweetie?” he asked in a low, curious voice.

At that moment, you peeled his baggy, black boxers off his body. “Because I was waiting for you to look at me,” came your answer as you watched his member spring up. “Will ya look at that?” you hummed, poking his dick to make it bob back and forth. “Li’l Connor missed me, too!”

A laugh bubbled up from Connor’s chest as he plopped his head back onto the pillows, combing a hand through his hair. “Oh my fucking God! Why are you like this, dork?” he asked with a laugh.

Placing a hand on each of his thighs, you inched your face closer to his dick and said, warm breath washing over him, “Because the tension was too thick? I wanted to lighten the mood…” You trailed off and gave a gentle, knowing lick up the shaft. “…it worked, didn’t it?” you giggled, looking up at him.

“I’m in love with a retarded dork,” he laughed breathlessly out loud, ruffling his hair. A shudder scurried up his body at your lick.

A soft kiss was planted on the head of his dick and you chuckled out, “Yeah, so what? I’m your dork and you fucking love me!” Upon finishing your statement, you engulfed him.

“Fuck!” he shouted loudly, not meaning to. The suddenness of your action made Connor shout that and he snapped his head down at you. He wanted to glare at you for not warning him, thus causing to shout loud enough for your parents downstairs to hear, but he stopped. It had been quite a long time since he had seen you sucking him off—like a good month or so—and he had forgotten how amazing it looked. How amazing it felt. He felt his gut and body jolt as you swirled your tongue around him.

A deep groan left him and it was the sexiest thing to you. You were utter helpless and unable to control the hum of arousal that erupted from you. So, you hummed around him and you felt him jerk his hips upwards, forcing you to take more of him inside of your mouth. You pressed your tongue flat against his shaft and continued to suck, adding to his pleasure.

You continued doing that for a good two or three minutes before Connor tangled his hand into and tugged on your hair, forcing you away. “Stop,” he panted out. He was quite the panting mess and it made a surge of pride wash over you. You were the only one who could do that to him, and vice-versa. “I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?” he asked, gently tugging your hair again.

A smile curled onto your lips, you couldn’t have agreed more. Licking your lips, you crawled towards his face until you came to straddle him. “I couldn’t agree more, Connor,” you spoke in a seductive whisper. You ground yourself against his hard member, sighing out in pleasure as the tip brushed against your clit.

Connor was more than ready for this moment but his body hesitated. “Fuck, wait, wait,” he stammered, short of breath. You immediately halted your movements and looked at him and he asked, “What about the condom? I don’t have any on me.”

You splayed your hands across his chest and smile sweetly. It was sweet of him to think of that. “You forget that I started taking birth control last month, going one time without one surely won’t get me pregnant,” you said as you lifted yourself up and positioned himself at your entrance.

Sitting up, Connor cupped and caressed your face with both hands. A hint of worry in his eyes as he said, “Are you sure you want to do this without a fucking condom? Because, fuck, if you say no we can stop.”

Your eyes softened and you answered, “I’m as sure I wanna do this without protection as I’m absolutely sure I love you, Connor Murphy.” You leaned forward and gave him a reassuring kiss on the lips as you pushed him back down. “Now, I’m gonna do it,” you announced as you sank onto him.

Both of you moan in pleasure. You leaned back and unconsciously rolled your hips against him, gasping in utter delight. He filled you up so excellently that it felt like you two were meant to fit together. In fact, just how perfectly your body molded to his left you breathless and you crumpled to his chest. After the first initial roll of your hips you stopped, knowing your body needed to get used to his size. Having been so ready for this for a week made your body ten times more sensitive to having his dick buried inside you. “F-fucking shit…” you muttered into his chest.

Connor’s arms wrapped around your body as you laid against him, one stroking your hair. “You’re so… so tight, dork…” he groaned out. It took everything he had for him not to buck into you just yet. Like, he was one-hundred percent going to thrust into you, just after you adjusted to his size.

Unbeknownst to you, Connor had flipped you guys over. When you came out of your thoughts, you finally noticed what had happened. You opened your mouth to protest but Connor promptly kissed you, experimentally thrusting into you to test the waters. You moaned hotly into the kiss and squirm your arms from being squished against his chest to wrapped around his neck.

Taking this as a way of you saying, ‘Connor, keep going’, he continued to thrust at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of you constricting around his member. It was a heavenly feeling and he knew that he could have done that with you all day long. Within a few minutes, his thrusts gained momentum and he was fucking you at a decent pace, trying to build up your orgasm before his. With the utmost reluctance, he pulled away from your lips because for one, he wanted to hear your moans, not feel them on his lips and two, he needed his mouth for other things.

Looking down at you, he realized he had yet to litter your neck and collarbone with hickeys. And he had to rectify that oversight from before. As you quietly, not at the same time not quietly, moaning his name, begging him to go faster—to do more, he leaned to your neck. He watched as your voice and possibly a moan caught in your throat as his lips latched onto the easily bruisable skin of your neck. As he attacked your neck with rough, bruising sucks and bites, his hands were on your body: one fondling a breast and the other resting on one of your hips as he pulled you wildly into his thrusts.

You could feel a coiling sensation in the pit of your stomach and you were determined to hold it back. Connor and you had just started to have sex after a long week, you didn’t want to mess that up by cumming first. A hand covered your mouth to reduce the noise you were making, and the particularly hard bite to your collarbone was a signal that Connor wasn’t having it. “B-but… Connor…” you whined at him, “…my parents…”

“I don’t give a fuck, (y/n). They know we have sex, so what’s the point in trying to hide it,” came his gravely answer. “You can show them what a lewd daughter they have, now can’t you?”

Looking down you hadn’t realized how fast he had kissed down your chest to the valley of your breasts. As you looked down, he looked up at you and electricity coursed through your veins. You were blessed with such an attractive boyfriend who knew how to work your body in all the right ways. Lost in his eyes, you didn’t feel his other hand trail down to your folds until you felt him rub your clit. “CON!” you nearly screamed at the sudden contact.

Pulling away from your body, Connor grinned smugly at your yelp. “Yes, doll face? What is it?” he asked just as smugly as his grin. “You’re close, aren’t’cha? I’m just helping you get off around my cock. Is that so bad?” Each question was emphasized by a rub to your clit. Connor leaned in towards your ear and whispered, “Why don’t you cum for me? That always gets me off, (y/n).”

You bit your lower lip and moaned loudly, not yet ready to give into him. “N-No…” you managed to say.

Rolling his eyes, Connor angles his hips and thrusted into you roughly. And he knew exactly what that angle did: it made him able to furiously hit your g-spot. Boy oh boy did that boy go at your most sensitive spot deep within your body, and he was vigorously playing with your clit. “C’mon, you know you wanna. Why deny your body what it really is craving?” he growled into your ear.

“Be-because! W-we just started!” you squeaked. Your body arched into him, your hips rolled against his all on their own and your breath came out in squeaky gasps. Betrayal was inevitable. As much as you didn’t want to cum, your body was almost there and was teetering on the edge. I hate how he can get me there so goddamn fast, you thought almost angrily to yourself.

Connor gave a particularly hard thrust into you and gently pinched your clit as he growled into your ear again, “We can go again later, dork… but for right now… cum for me!”

The demanding tone in his voice is what sent you over the edge. The coil in your gut snapped and you had cum for him, just as he commanded. “Jesus, fuck,” you yelled as you came, covering your mouth to dull the loud scream that followed. You were left gasping for air as you slumped into the pillows below you.

Seeing you reach your peak was enough to send Connor almost over the edge. He was now silent as he bit his lip, intent on finishing as well. You noticed his silence, other than the guttural coming from deep in his throat, and touched his face, bringing it up to look into your eyes. “I-I came for you… now you cum for me, Connor,” you said. You dragged his face to yours, molding your lips together in a passionate one that lasted for a few moments. “I love you so much, Connor Murphy… now cum for me—cum inside me,” you whispered against his lips.

The deepest, sexiest, most guttural moan echoed through your room as he couldn’t resist complying with you command. His hips stilled and he hugged your body close to his, whispering several almost inaudible I love yous into the crook of your neck, as he came inside of you. A warm feeling washed over your body as you felt him fill you up the fullest extent. You embraced him, feeling briefly cold as the sweat that covered your bodies became apparent to you. The two of you slumped to your bed and you felt Connor pull out of you and laid beside you.

“You might want to take a fucking shower later,” muttered Connor. He rolled onto his side facing you.

You rolled onto your side, facing him and said with a lazy smile, “Yeah, but that can wait until later, Con. Right now… I just want to cuddle and go to sleep.”

A light chuckle came from your boyfriend as he scooted his body close to you, wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled your body to his. Your head coming to rest on his sweat, rapidly rising and falling chest. “Me too, dork… me too,” he said in a now lazy, sleepy voice.

You move to grab the comforter under you two, saying, “Let’s get under the covers, okay? So our sweaty asses don’t wake up with a cold.”

Connor chuckled lazily at your words and complied, pulling away long enough for both of you to get under the comforter. Once that was accomplished, he pulled you right back into his body and rested his head on yours. “You had a point. Now that we’re under the covers, time to get some sleep,” he muttered.

You nuzzled into his chest before saying, “Agreed.” Shortly after getting under the covers, the two of you passed out, bodies having been worked to exhaustion.

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy smut #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #dear evan hansen imagine #deh imagine #deh #evan hansen #jared kleinman #dear evan hansen smut

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spacyparker · 7 years ago

Text

Unborn part 2

PART ONE

MASTERLIST - PROMPT LIST

Request : “If you’re still taking requests could you do 27 and 33 with Tom?”

+ “Hey can you do a fic with #5 and #10 from your prompt list where Tom is the reader’s hubby and away on a press tour or something and she realized that she’s pregnant so she starts wearing his shirts he left bc she doesn’t was the media to find out before him?“ @karamelblobber

+ “ooh prompt 10 with Tom?“

» “Does he know about the baby ?“ part one

» “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through.”

» "Is that my shirt?“ part one

Characters : Tom Holland x pregnant!reader

Word count : 3.3k

A/N : Ok IVE FINALLY FINISHED IT OMG !!!! You don’t need to have read part one to read it but if you want to check part one. I took like a whole week to write it wtf, I hope you’ll love it, and don’t hesitate to tell me what you thought of this !!! Love you all, thanks for reading me !

His jaw clenched and he couldn't hear anything around him, even his bestfriend yelling at him to calm down. Tom couldn't believe his ears, he couldn't believe you lied to him again, you were always pushing him out of your life when he was away, you never told him about the important things as if he wasn't concerned. He remembered this time there was a flood and you had to live for a few days at your parents' house, you took care of the incident all by yourself never mentioning it to him. He was upset this time. Like the many other times.

“Fuck it Tom, you're not focusing on what's really important there.” Harrison groaned. The blonde boy couldn't believe it either, but he couldn't believe how his best friend was reacting to the news. Tom was going to be a father, his wife was pregnant, their dream was coming true, and all he could think about was the fact she waited to tell him ? “You know what, I'm outta this. I'm sorry for Y/N.”

Tom was raging out, if Harrison was against him then everyone else would be, but he didn't understand why they weren't standing by his side. He was the one being lied to, he was the one being the fool. “Fuck off !” He yelled at Harrison even if he had already left the hotel room. Tom punched the wall with his fist, his knuckles whiter than ever after he hit it. All his blood seemed to have gotten to his head, he was red, red of too much anger.

Tom was just tired of you lying to him, he knew deep down you didn't tell him most of the important stuff you had to go through because you didn't want him to worry while he was away and already too stressed, but he was your husband after all, away or not. Maybe it was also because when you told him everything, he would ask his mother to come check on you, or his brothers, and as much as you loved his family, it was overwhelming to feel that assisted.

Hearing the punch in the wall Tom just had done, his eternal co-star Robert entered the room furrowing his brows. “What the hell kiddo ? This isn't your lovely house, this isn't yours, you can't do what you want.” He took his fist in his hand but Tom quicky pulled it away. He didn't want people to talk to him, or tell him he was overreacting, he needed to break everything around him, make the room as messy as his mind was.

“Oh please, take care of your own business.” He groaned between his teeth, turning his heels.

But Robert wasn't willing to let him get away, he grabbed Tom's shoulder and made him turn to him once more, his jaw now also clenched. Robert walked closer to the father-to-be making him step back until he was caught up between the legend and the wall. “You're my business, you always have been. Don't make it like you only take advantage of it when it's for good reasons. Now you calm down, and you stay polite. It's not because you're an adult now you can talk to people the way you want.”

Tom knew how it was wrong from him to have talked to Robert this way, but he couldn't help himself. When he was angry, nothing remained under his control, he was mean to everyone and didn't care being an absolute asshole. He looked away, still being pulled to the wall by the Iron Man who looked intimidating. “She's pregnant. She didn't even tell me.” Tom mood suddenly changed once these words fell off his mouth. Of course he was still angry, but his bottom lip started to shiver and he tried his best not to start crying. “I sould have been aware, Robert. I'm deeply concerned. It's my baby.”

Harrison was back in the room, leaning against the door, he shared a worried look with Robert, and they both nodded. Without a word, they both knew what the other one had in mind. “You need to take a break and go home, Thomas.”

Tom's heart broke hearing his full name coming from his best friend's lips. He never called him that, never. “I can't take a break, I'm Spider-Man.” Robert let go of Tom and he directly went to sit on his bed. “I'm tired of being away.”

Robert shook his head, the kid was being really selfish there. “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through.” Tom nodded, making them think he finally understood. “Take a break, I'll arrange everything with the directors.” And soon he was being driven to the airport.

The flight allowed Tom taking some time to think. He couldn't get his mind off you and the big news, he wondered if he was really overreacting as Harrison and Robert were thinking. His head was a bomb ready to explode at any minute now, it refused to shut off. If he decided to open his social medias, he would be flooded by the newspapers articles, and all his fans freaking out about him being a father, or not having told them. Everyone knew how Tom was the master of telling everything to them, he'd make an instalive with a friend or you, and announce all he could. “Hey guys, I broke my nose.” “Yop fam, I'm filming Spider-Man 4.” “Guys, meet Hayley, Harrison's girlfriend.” “Well hello guys, Y/N has burned the chicken so we're going out.” Everything, fucking everything.

On his phone were also many, many notifications from you. After a few radio silence, you tried again to reach him, you wanted to talk to him to explain yourself again and again, not stopping until he'd understand why you did what you did. He never picked up. Tom's mom also called him a few times, but still he didn't picked up, he knew what it was all about, he knew she discovered it too. He felt dumber, everyone knew about the pregnancy before him : his fans, his family... Tom had always wanted to surprise everyone with such a big news, he had organized a plan in his head for it.

He would have invited his whole family for dinner, with Harrison but he was obviously part of the family since the beginning. Tom would have prepared his father's favorite scotch , his mom favorite's plate, the twins' favorite dessert, and ice cream for Paddy. He would have made a toast before the dessert, raising his hand with a glass of champagne, the bubbles of the adult dinners. “Mom, dad. You parenting had always making me want to start a family. You loved us so much I wanted to experience it myself, and I couldn't be happier that the woman I'm going to have a family with is Y/N. And I'd like to thank you for everything that you have both done for me, for each one of us actually. You're the best family I know, and I'm now picking up the torch, since, well... Y/N's pregnant.”

Tom groaned at this thought. His first child, their first grandchild, and it was spilled out this way. What about the romantic ways of living, what about the non exposed life he wanted to have ? He clenched his fists again. A few more hours before landing in London, God. He sighed seing his lockscreen, a photo of you and he, of course, cuddling. He remembered Harry taking that picture, standing by a fire a couple months ago in your backyard. It was a lovely memory, where no one dropped the steaks into the flames, and you all played music and sang. Far away from the pressure you were all living with, happiness wrapping everyone.

Tom turned his head and looked at the sky through the window. It was blue, unlike is grey mind. Under was those unknowns, he wondered how many of them had pregnant wives, how many of them were living away from their family, how many of them were alone. “Fuck !” He mumbled, and the mother sitting beside him furrowed her eyebrows, hoping her son didn't hear the swear word. Tom pinched his lips, was he already a bad father ? “I'm sorry...” He murmured looking down.

It took a few hours to finally arrive to London, and Tom had called his mom to pick him up and drive him home. The first thing he did when he finally saw her was crying. “Mom !” He yelled running into her arms. He suddenly was the little boy, again, the teenager who had no real strenght to face life without getting help. Nothing else came through his mouth after this simple word, and Nikki took it from here.

“I know baby...” Her fingers were going through his fresh cut curls, she put her head on his shoulder, a calm voice accompanying her moves. “It's not the end of the world, darling. It's nothing. You know how she is, you know she didn't mean bad.” He nodded as a response. “You want to go see her ? I mean, I'm not forcing you, you go when you're ready, but you go anyways.”

The new little boy pulled out his mother's arms from his neck and rubbed his swollen eyes full of tears. “I want to see dad, and the guys before.”

In the car, there was no sound, no voice talking, just the radio playing some songs sometimes way too happy for Tom's mood. He was looking outside at the landscape, urban life, trying not to think of you, but there were no way he could nail it. No way.

Once home, everything remained silent however everyone was home, they were all standing in the living room, staring at Tom. They waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He couldn't. So Dom took the talk. “I'm happy you're home, son.”

And he couldn't help but start to cry again. Sam was the first one to run to him, wrapping his body around his arms. When was the last time he had seen him in such a bad state ? “Fuck Tom, I'm going to be an uncle, you'll be a father. You should be proud of you.”

“Things are not that simple, buddy.” He sighed, pulling his tears off.

Harry was the one who seemed the more mad at his brother. His jaw was clenched and he anxiously played with his fingers. “You're screwing everything again !” He admitted. Dom was willing to take the talk again but Harry wouldn't let him, he wasn't done. “She's done it for you, and you can't even understand that ! You're litterally all she has ! Do you know how alone she feels when you're gone, do you know how sad she becomes ? Sometimes you only see your own needs, she's your fucking wife !” Sam stepped back, letting Tom who looked down to what his brother said. It was harsh, but he knew Harry was right. “Do you know I check on her every week, to cheer her up, to let her know she's not useless ? You want me to sum you up her days ? She goes to work, then she comes home, she sleeps and everything starts again. I have to force her to go out with me, she's always so... empty. And she tells you nothing because she doesn't want you to worry, she wants you to fucking focus on your fucking job ! You can't even understand all this little things she does for you.”

Paddy didn't say anything, he left just after Harry's monologue. He didn't really want to publicly take a side on this war, he wanted everybody to be happy. He ran up the stairs and no one heard from him before the day after. Harry's face was red, meanwhile Sam was taken aback. “Hey, let him breathe a little, it's hard for both of them. When he's far from her, she's far from him too.” Sam tried to defend his older brother.

All Tom could do again was crying, it seemed he was perfect at the job recently, a little too much. “Stop it, don't fight ! I don't wanna provoke any family war.” He passed his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself but he exploded in a throb. “I don't know what I'm doing.” He finally admitted. “Everyone keeps yelling at me, they keep reminding me I'm the bad person. I don't wanna be the bad person.”

Dom got up and reached his son's shoulder putting his hand on it. He had tears in his eyes seeing his love crying. “If you wanna do good, Thomas, you need to go see her instead of staying here with us. It's between you two, we'll be here supporting whatever you'll decide.” Harry glanced at his father, he wouldn't support anything going against his ideas. No one answered, Tom nodded and Dom took him outside to drive him home.

You didn't know Tom was back in England, you didn't know he was on his way to see you, all you knew was he wasn't answering any text or phone call. You were on your bed, and you haven't eaten at midday, you couldn't. You knew it was bad, but you just had lost appetite. You closed your eyes hearing someone ringing at the door, you ddin't want to get up from your bed but you knew you had too, you needed to check who was there at least. But you hadn't reach the front door, you heard a key opening it. “I'm home.” Said a voice lightly. A very recognizable voice.

Your heart dropped, you ran to the hall and there he was, with red puffy eyes right through yours. “I thought... I-I thought you... You were in Ca-california.” You had trouble saying. Fuck, you wanted to go into him and cuddle for a hundred years, but you were afraid of how he would react. When he was angry, he didn't want any physical contact and would repulse your tryings.

“I'm home.” He repeated. He then put his keys on the dresser and pressed his lips together. He didn't really know what to say, but he knew he had to talk before you'd do it, or else he'd break and give up. “This was the one time too many.” Suddenly your heart seemed to want to get out of your chest, it was beating so fast cause you were afraid, afraid of what he would say next. “I can't- I can't bear it anymore, Y/N. You can't hide things from me, I need to be aware of these things as soon as possible, I need you to fucking consider me !” He took a pause, putting his hands over his face to rub his eyes. “I'm your husband, and we're together for better or for worse, remember that ?! You said 'I do', Y/N, you said 'I do', you know what that means ! That means we're supposed to be a team, that means you tell me everything, that means I have to be here for you !” The more he talked, the more he yelled. You haven't move from you spot, and you were now happy you didn't come close to him, even if he wasn't abusive when he was angry, you couldn't face anger. “Answer me, do you remember that ?!”

Tears were widely falling from your eyes you could barely see around you, blurred vision. You nodded, of course you remembered what being husband and wife meant, but sometimes life was tougher than you expected, sometimes it was hard to live alone having a travelling husband doing God knew what. “Y-yeah, Tom, I re-remember. I'm sorry, I-I know I should have to-told you but... It-it never felt like, like the right time.” You sobbed. He shook his head and clenched his jaw. “Tom, don't be mad, please honey, please, I just need a hug, I need support and love. I don't want to get into a fight.”

“And I needed you to be honest.” He walked past you and entered the bedroom, slamming the door and making you jump. What did you do, why did it seem like you had the super-power to create drama in your marriage.

You put your hand on your belly, it had already grown a little since the beginning of the pregnancy, and you liked this new baby bump. The only idea you got to calm Tom down was taking your, well or his, shirt off. There were already few stretch marks on your skin, so you also took off your pants for Tom to see it all. You went in the bedroom half naked, Tom immeditely raising his head to see you. He didn't pay attention at the changes of your body at first, too angry to think straight. “What ? You think we're going to clear it by having sex ? It's not happening, Y/N, you should put some clothes on.”

“No...” You answered, getting closer until you jumped on his lap. He went to get you off him but stopped when he understood, when he saw the magic happening in your body. His gaze was now fully focused on your belly, and he couldn't help but put his hand on it. His warm touch felt warm, home. It had been a long time since you last touched his skin, you missed it more than you thought. “Meet our baby, Tom. Say hi.” And he started crying again, but this time it wasn't from anger, nor sadness. This time, it was different, this time he understood what being a father was, he was able to be close to his child, almost touching him thanks to you. You put your arms around his neck. “Please, babe, forgive me.” You murmured. “I know... I know I'm not perfect, but I'm really trying my best. I don't wanna be a needy wife who can't male it without her husband, I know I fucked up real bad this time, more than I've ever had, but I'm really trying here, it's been hard without you.” One of your hands came to Tom's cheek and you started rubbing his cheek with your thumb. Your eyes locked on his, you both could feel all the mix of joy and sadness you shared, you felt connected again. “We're gonna have to talk about too many serious things, but the first one I want to talk about is me quiting so I can always be with you, what do you think ?”

He nodded, leaning in for a chaste kiss. His hand couldn't get away from your baby bump, and you were happy he seemed softer now he had seen it. “I love the idea, but I thought you didn't want to quit...”

You shrugged. “I changed my mind. Everything will be different, now. I'll come with you til the end of the pregnancy, but then I'll be forced to give birth in England, and stay here a while, newborns can't travel, and... And then when he or she will go to school... I mean, same, I won't be able to travel with you anymore. Let's take the few months we have left.”

Tom nodded, and kissed you once again, in a rougher manner. He couldn't admit it, but he was still heart broken, he realised that, in a few months, not only would he be away from his wife, but from his kid too. He already felt like he abandoned them. “I promise you Y/N, when our little love will be born, I'll work less, I'll be there for you.”

Then there was silence. In the room, it was just two parents-to-be sharing looks of love and complicity. After all this time separated, it felt like a reborn through the unborn.

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