#but also shes So Deep in the habit of changing herself to please others while also goin through it ;--;

[good-beanswrites]

Heyo!! :D uhh I was just thinking about prompts!! I have two that I've just been thinking of! You can do one or the other, I don't mind ^^ Yuno with Blanket (if you havent done that yet :o) and Muu and Yuno with Honesty :D

Thank you so much :D!! Your writing is so funky I love reading it, it's like my daily newspaper abejfncjcn

Hi Mug :D thank you so much aah!! I really loved these combos, that's so sweet for both of them ;-; Here's Yuno and Blanket -- something lighthearted from the beginning of t1, with a bit of her unfortunate people-pleasing habits.

“Requests are in!” Mikoto’s voice sang from down the corridor. The prisoners perked up from where they’d been lazing about. One would have thought he'd announced a jailbreak with the amount of energy that rippled through the room. Yuno leapt to her feet.

"You seem excited," Kazui chuckled as he stood. "What are you getting?"

She suddenly felt a twinge of shame for her reaction. Things weren’t bad in Milgram by any means, but the atmosphere was beginning to creep under her skin now and then. There was an old comfort she’d been dreaming of the past few weeks. It felt embarrassing to say to someone as concerned with his maturity as Kazui. 

"Oh, nothing much,” she said. “Just something that reminds me of home, like the cigarettes you ordered." She didn’t know him well enough to say so, but she was secretly grateful for his request. The smell of smoke was familiar to her as well. "But mostly it's something new around here -- isn't the whole thing exciting?" 

It was the first time they’d received a delivery, and everyone was eager to see if they got what they ordered. Though Yuno found the system surprising, it made sense. Milgram allowed more unique freedoms than a normal prison, given it also inflicted more unique restraints. 

She joined the group heading down the hall, all chattering in anticipation. 

"Yuno!" Mahiru waved her over. The woman had talked about the products and creams she'd requested, in the hope of keeping up her skincare routine. Yuno would be following suit soon, though she wanted those things to keep herself feeling refreshed rather than looking a certain way. There was no one here to impress. With her looks, that was.

Mahiru’s eyes gleamed. "What did you order?"

Yuno knew she wouldn't satisfy her appetite for gossip as much as Shidou testing his luck with medical supplies or Amane’s taste in high-level study materials had. 

"Something real cute~" was all she needed to say to get her giggling. 

Es instructed them to line up in front of their room to distribute everything. Yuno found her place behind Haruka. 

"Hey, hey! What are you getting?" She wasn't immune from that same gossipy curiosity…

His cheeks immediately reddened. "Uh, well, I h-hope I can get some c-candy. It -- I mean, it's kiddish, I know."

"Don't worry, some might think my request is childish, haha! Plus, I think Muu ordered sweets, too."

This seemed to calm him a bit as he walked ahead. Fuuta nudged her from behind.

"Oi, what did you ask for?"

She'd overheard him and Kotoko discussing what would likely be caught as a tool to escape, and knew her answer would disappoint him.

The bright smile she’d given Haruka angled into a more jaded smirk. "Eh, just something to get me through the night, you know? A practical comfort."

Fuuta grunted, respecting the choice. 

Her attention returned to the front of the line, where Haruka was returning with loose treats spilling from his hands. She took his place in Es' doorway.

"Prisoner 002," Es scanned a piece of paper. "For you… ah,” They read it again. “Just a blanket? Was that all?" 

She beamed. "Yup! Just a blanket." 

“You strike me as the kind to ask for a lot…”

“Mmm, you’ve read me well, Warden! Not this time, though. Gotta start small, then see what I can weasel out of you!” She winked. As usual, Es pretended to be unimpressed. Yuno knew she was wearing them down, bit by bit.

She offered a bouncy bow as Es handed it over. She hadn’t given many specifications, but it certainly looked as big and fluffy as she had hoped. Milgram had gone with pink -- the same shade as some of her uniform accents. 

"Thanks!" 

The prisoners' excitement died down fairly quickly afterwards. Amane began reading in silence. Kazui retreated to the smoking room alone, though Shidou and Mikoto promised to join him after the next round of requests. Haruka had nearly finished eating all of his candy by nightfall. Kotoko sat by herself to jot things down in her new notebook. Yuno’s good mood lasted much later. 

Once the bell had rung and silence fell onto the prison, she could feel the usual chill start to creep into her cell. It had gripped her with fear the first few nights -- that unshakable coldness that reminded her why she was here in the first place. Sometimes, when her body jolted her awake with the feeling of falling, she'd blame it on the temperature rather than a universal human experience. It brought up too many painful memories to be something so ordinary, after all.

But not tonight. 

Tonight there would be no falling, and no chill. No stepping into bed with enough skin showing to make her shiver. No more crafted conversations or flashing certain expressions.

A goofy grin spread across her cheeks. Yuno unfolded the blanket with a flourish. She swept it around her body, then flopped down on her bedding. With nothing more to worry about, she sank into the cushy blob.

‘Just a blanket’ her ass. This was the warmest she’d felt in a very long time.

[crypticandmachiavellianaugustine]

Sweet Nothings (Part One)

Part Two

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Summary: Y/N is a lesser fae who is spending her life wandering around different Courts, everything changes when she ends up in Autumn and by accident meets the new High Lord.

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, lots of self doubt, mentions of dog attack? (not really the smoke hounds are good puppies who look terrifying)

English is not my language so I deeply apologise for any eventual mistake also sorry if it sucks, I reread it while tired.

_______

One day, when she was only a curious child, Y/N had found her nemesis in a bush of wild raspberries. It was the time of dreams and fireflies who, in her mind of little girl, plausibly lived inside thorny loops of greenery with delicious berries peaking from behind the leaves. But the fireflies were not pleased to find a young thief at their front door and that was the day Y/N got her first and only scar, a thin white line on one of her legs as a reminder to not walk through literal thorns too carelessly.

As an adult, Y/N had made it an habit to plant raspberries and roses in every place she had ever lived. She was a lesser fae, and despite everything, that meant a very long life. And she was part mortal, with no other choice than to live in the outskirts of every society she encountered in Prythian, destined to shine briefly for her talents but be quickly disposed of, when those around her could scent the doomed outcast in her.

Born in Winter she had wandered to Summer and from there she had thrown herself into the unknown, as the fates intended. She had lived a hundred lives, voraciously trying to fill her loneliness, learning new things all the time. No matter how much life humbled her, or how miserable she was sometimes. Today she was a patissier at the Court of Autumn, but in the past she had been a maid in Winter, secretly learning a language spoken in a remote mortal land under the light of a candle when the household she was working in was asleep. Silently, in the coldest hours of the night she had fought to stay awake and do something with herself that was different from scrubbing the floors of that old manor.

A century after that, she had been almost a beggar in the lands of Dawn, the witch that lived as an hermit and used every plant she found to create oils and fragrances and remedies, trying to match every smell with a specific feeling or memory.

Doing something other than what was expected from someone of her stance had been what had kept her alive for so long, what had kept her sane when all of her hopes were digging themselves deep into the ground of a place that was not her home.

And a home was the one thing that Y/N had never really known. She had lived in plenty of places, but in her mind a malicious sentence echoed constantly, 'the point of a home is to have somewhere to always return to'.

Her dreams, her hopes, her passions... Those were the things that made her feel like an individual and not like the lowly being she had often been treated like.

For many long years, books had been her only friends, the only comfort afforded to her by the world. And in dusty books from the mortal lands, wastepaper in Prythian, she had decided than one day she would live an autumn like the ones described in those stained pages. But the Autumn Court had been avoided like the plague by Y/N in her constant wandering, too many stories of cruelty had came out of that place for her to be courageous enough to dare enter that territory.

Months before, when she was still in the Day Court, working in one of the countless libraries, she had heard whisperings of the passing of the old High Lord of Autumn who apparently had died under mysterious circumstances. She decided to move to a closer court and observe Autumn, but once she had catched a glimpse of the rust coloured tree leaves in the distance she knew that it would not take too long before her curiosity consumed her caution.

Y/N lived in the frost covered land of Winter for three weeks before leaving the court she had been born in centuries before, to pry into a forest that reminded her of a particularly bright sunset.

_

A month later, Y/N still had no idea on how a simple walk into a forest turned into her working at the most important palace of Autumn. Actually she knew exactly how it had happened but the chain of events had been so confusionary to live that she preferred not to think too much about it.

It all started when she got lost, too mesmerised by the warm colours surrounding her to carefully stay close to the border of Winter. And it progressively got stranger when Y/N realised with horror that she was walking on a trail that ended in a village. Certainly a picturesque place she thought before trying to put some distance between her and the cabins without being noticed, failing so miserably that she pondered hiding in a cave and have another few almost hermitic decades.

Before she could manage to build up a convincing lie about places she was trying urgently to reach, she had found herself sitting for dinner in a real house as a guest of an extremely chatty family, ordered to sit by a matron that was as welcoming as she was intimidating. And after a week, awkwardly relishing the kindness of the villagers like a wild cat being fed for the first time, Y/N's first real attempt at socialising had been preparing delicious sweets for everyone who had been nice to her. She always stubbornly downplayed her talents, flaunting made her anxious and obsessed about everything that could go wrong. It all started with simple biscuits, buttery and spiced, served with warm goat milk to her hosts for breakfast. Continued with a plate of swirling pastel pink meringues and a strawberry marmalade cake, to an old widow that had tailored and gifted her a delicate dress decorated with numerous embroidered tiny lilac flowers, one of her favourites from when she had been young. Then she baked an earthy weat cake with chestnut cream for a very old fae who allowed her to use his personal library. After weeks of joyful carrot muffins, candied citrus fruits given away to the few younglings of the village at every occasion, and a sustained sequence of birthday cakes, her new ephemeral normalcy was shattered by the visit of some relatives of the family that had welcomed her the first time she had stumbled into that small settlement.

The lady of the house who had treated Y/N almost like a daughter had a brother who knew someone who worked in the kitchens of the Forest House and he swore that he could find a place as an assistant patissier for the maker of the cherry cake he was enjoying, cake that Y/N had baked that day, realising that the small house was fervently preparing for a special dinner.

'Forest House, what a stupid name for a palace' she thought, of course she would leave, the last thing she wanted was to be a burden for her hosts. Even if she had enjoyed her time in the village she was ready to leave, she would go back one day, she knew it.

Y/N had learned the hard way not to fuss over the past and not to get too attached to anything she met in her eternal wandering. She often found herself thinking that her life flowed just like water, unforgiving and unemotional warden of memories that were never allowed to get back to the shore.

She whispered her goodbyes into the morning mist and left without looking back.

_

To fall into a routine while working in the kitchens had been surprisingly easy. Just as easy and unexpected it had been starting to work there, Y/N had been quickly pushed into the role of one of the main patissiers by a small and nervous male who had declared himself too old to bother with the frills of the fine patisserie that was expected to come out of the kitchens of the Forest House.

Y/N found it almost relaxing, to work unbothered in her corner. Baking, preparing, assembling and decorating her various creations, had become the actions that paced her days. The chatter, the clashing of pots and the crackling of the fire were all background noises that kept her mind silent, free to focus on her job.

She rarely left the staff quarters, and when she did, it was to sneak into the gardens and explore them furtively, even if no one was ever there to enjoy them anyway.

Most of her free time was spent with the cats that lived of the kitchen's leftovers, she had realised with delight that the small feral creatures somehow enjoyed the soft singing that sometimes came out of her mouth when she was alone or too distracted.

As an outsider she felt shy when talking with her colleagues, and they had all run out of conversation points rather quickly. All they ever talked about was work, the new elusive High Lord that everyone was wary of and every scandal the nobles caused on a weekly basis. Y/N was not too interested in any of that, after all she did not know any of those people. She strongly suspected to have catched a glimpse of the new High Lord during one of her secret explorations of the gardens, when she had noticed a crowned head move away from one of the windows, in a confusionary mirage of auburn hair and an aura of arrogance. Her visits to the gardens had decreased drastically after that occurrence. Better careful than caught.

One night she decided to sneak into the gardens again, the day had been an almost nightmare and she needed to get away from the kitchens for a little while. It had been a busy day, lords from all over the Court were visiting the Forest House and the kitchens felt like a gigantic furnace. Y/N had been forced to take refuge in the ice cellar to finish up all of the desserts she was preparing to avoid them melting miserably in the torrid chaos. All of her cat friends had avoided the kitchens the whole day, frightened by the deafening sounds and strong smells.

Y/N threw herself on a bed of dense moss, breathing in deeply the scent of alyssum that permeated in that hidden spot of the gardens. She got up with a huff and started walking, falling asleep there would be a terrible idea. She took a new route, one that she had usually avoided during her past secret explorations, she felt bolder hidden by the darkness of the night. The unexplored part of the gardens was near the orangery and the large path in front of it was not covered by trees like the rest. Y/N gently slid her fingers over a fragrant line of muguets before stopping in front of the pot of an majestic orchid that had definitely seen better days, she hid the plant in a corner that was a little more bit sheltered from the crisp autumnal wind.

Y/N continued to walk until she reached an enormous and elaborate fountain. It was one of her favourites parts of the gardens, the intricate metal fence that surrounded it was rusty and the fountain itself was so vast that a small island had been placed at its center, the statues on it were covered with moss. Water came out of small statuettes of all around the perimeter but must of it was coming out of the island, the sound of it difficult to ignore. It was like something out of a book, a forgotten wonder in an abandoned garden. A group of ducks lived there and Y/N liked to gather berries from nearby bushes and feed the adorable animals. She could see them, despite the darkness, smoothly swimming towards her. She quickly picked a handful of blueberries and threw them in the water, her gesture met with a few happy quacking sounds.

Y/N smiled to herself and started to head in direction of the kitchens, hoping to sneak in her little room without awakening any of her colleagues. The night was silent and hearing a rustle behind her made her stop in her tracks petrified, she slowly turned around just in time for a monstrous beast to jump on her and make her fall onto the ground with a terrified screech. The beast, that she realised was a dog, was blocking her with its paws painfully pressed into her ribs, sniffing her face. Y/N wanted to scream loudly and desperately, but she held it back and tried to stay still, hoping that the dog would lose interest in her. Tears were running down her face and usually she wasn't one for praying, but in her mind she begged the Mother to save her from a fate as horrible as dying mauled by the jaws of that animal. It was licking her face, cruelly preparing to take the first bite...

"Let the little bunny go, Willow," said a male voice, good-naturedly scolding the dog. Y/N started sobbing when the monster- Willow- finally allowed her to breathe. The gigantic dog lowered her head to the ground and looked at the crying girl, Y/N could swear that she saw worry in those eyes and Willow tentatively licked her face, whining in a comically apologetic way for a hound so terrifying.

Strong arms grabbed her and pulled her up, in between tears she found herself looking at a tall male, clearly one of the nobles. It took her a few moments to connect the dots, the auburn hair and the hound, she could make out the dark shapes of more of them in the distance, his impeccable clothes and the slightly haughty expression... Y/N was almost sure that she was in front of the Hight Lord, and if the one scrutinising her in that moment was not him, he was probably one of his brothers.

Realising that she had been caught in the gardens she made a curtsy, trying to contain her trembling of fear from everything that was happening. He clicked his tongue, and Y/N held her breath terrified, she had annoyed him even more.

But instead of immediately reprimanding her or worse, he tilted her head up. There was a surprising gentleness in his gesture that clashed with the impassive expression on his face, his eyes on the other hand carried a glint of arrogance and amusement in them.

"Don't worry, little bunny, none of us bites without a good reason," he said, almost as if he was making fun of her. Then he produced a handkerchief and handed it to her, Y/N could not dare to accept it, she didn't want to stain the white and soft looking fabric with the mud that had dirtied her hands after his hound had made her fall. He rolled his eyes with an attitude that in a clearer state of mind she would have found infuriating and, still with that strange gentleness, he wiped her tears off. Y/N almost jumped back, embarrassed.

"Does the little bunny have a name?" He asked. Y/N was starting to get mildly annoyed with his attitude, he was talking to her as if she actually was a wild frightened creature of the woods.

She told him her name in a timid whisper and he repeated it, her name sounding almost comforting in his mouth. Y/N tried to put on a mask of composure.

"I deeply apologise, my lord. I should not be here and..." she said quickly and agitated before he interrupted her by putting a finger on her lips.

"Call me Eris," he said not looking at her and going to damp the handkerchief under the spilling water of one of the small fountain statuettes near them.

Y/N went pale, so he was the High Lord. He started cautiously cleaning her hands, making sure that she didn't hurt herself falling.

"I can do this on my own. You shouldn't bother yourself with me, my lord" she whispered but he ignored her, except for an annoyed look when she insisted in not calling him by his name.

"You don't feel it yet, don't you?" asked Eris frowning and observing her carefully. Y/N looked at him interrogatively. Then suddenly it all became clear and the realisation took her breath away. In a moment something snapped in between them and a single thread of gold tied their souls together. In the past she had tried to imagine what a mating bond could feel like but the reality of it was completely different from every single daydream she had secretly indulged in. The sheer and raw sense of belonging was something unexpected, it was as if the nostalgia that she often felt inside of her heart had been finally placated.

She would have fallen to the ground again if he didn't catch her, holding her in his arms almost with reverence.

"Never again you will fall" murmured Eris "I won't allow it".

"That is an unpractical intention" she replied. Uncertainty was rumbling in her mind, she wanted to run, to hide far away and disappear, to live like a wild animal in the forest and forget everything about all of this. He was her mate and a stranger, their lives were not supposed to touch, they were not supposed to meet, let alone being bound together by a superior force.

Y/N felt ashamed suddenly, she was being weak by allowing him to be close, to hold her up when she was supposed to ruinously fall. Someone of his stance would never accept to be shackled to a lesser fae, she did not want to delude herself into heartbreak and rejection. Maybe he was being polite for pity or for some perverse game, was she a rabbit about to fall into the jaws a fox?

She hastily put some distance between them, in that moment she really wished to have the ability to winnow.

Eris had a hurt look in his eyes when she backed away, it lasted a second before he composed himself once again and started speaking calmly, as if he knew of her intentions and he wanted to keep her from running like a frightened wild bunny.

"I have no intention to hurt you. I merely plead you to allow me to take care of you and to protect you, others may try to harm you for this bond between us. It is your choice to accept it or not but I would like to clarify that, for me, you are a miracle I never dared to hope in".

"You don't know me, don't use words you will regret," said Y/N, her face a mask of cold nonchalance that she sometimes used to protect herself with. But he simply smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Please," he whispered, in a vulnerable manner that made Y/N raise her brows with scepticism. How could she surrender to the unknown?

_

Y/N was standing in front of her mirror, doubtfully studying her reflection. Three months had passed since the night in the garden.

Two months of tedious hours with a dozen seamstresses who had been tasked to create a wardrobe for her that was worthy of the High Lord's mate. Three months of eating almost every meal with Eris and spending time in his office or in the gardens together. Three months of trying to fill her days with literature and other pastimes to keep her mind from thinking too intensely about the uncertainty of her future.

When she had accepted to be moved to another, more suitable, room for her security-excuse quickly added by Eris just when she was about to start protesting- she had insisted for her new room to be as simple as possible and she was sure that her mate had not taken that request into consideration in the slightest.

Her room was spacious and sumptuously decorated, the windows were tall, some of them partly made of intricate stained glass art, and there was even a terrace.

Y/N continued to stand in front of the large mirror, trying to find a way to make her hair presentable. She knew that she could never match the sophisticated looks of the ladies she had seen at court, wives and daughters of advisers and courtiers with intricate hairstyles and the behaviour of someone who belonged there in the Forest House. She had started to be almost ashamed of how her hair only reached her shoulders, she had used to love how the delicate waves framed her face and how comfortable keeping them at that length was, but at court she felt like a fish out of water. Shortly after the first dresses had been completed and started to be placed in her room, jewelry appeared as well and Y/N had refrained from wearing it. The jewels were magnificent more that anything she had seen before, she debated if the mating bond had somehow made Eris aware of the things that she would like when emeralds and dark amethysts, baroque pearls and aquamarines had started to appear. She huffed exasperated and took an elaborate pair of gold earrings with rose-coloured pearls, they matched her dress and hopefully counterbalanced the simplicity of her hair.

She picked up one of the cats that had mastered enough bravery to go find her deep into the labyrinth that was the palace when she had disappeared from the kitchens. She had tried to dissuade them from playing with the canopy of her bed but the finely embroidered fabric beared the signs of their mischievous claws. Willow had also found her way into her room, the hound looked silly with the cats playing with her tail while she observed the mate of her master move around the chamber.

The cat in her arms immediately started purring, Y/N had called the fluffy creature Luna, after the feline decided to live constantly gravitating around her.

She considered wearing a pale green mantle but decided otherwise, it was one of those rare days when the sun shone over the Autumn Court and she was determined to make the best of it.

Y/N left her chamber and started heading in direction of the gardens, she knew that she would find Eris waiting for her. It was starting to become a habit to promenade together around the gardens in the afternoon, her initial shyness had soon become curiosity and she had realised that conversing with her mate was quite enjoyable. When the mating bond had snapped, it had been a long time since Y/N had a long and significant conversation with another and now in three months she felt as if she had never talked so much ever before in her entire life. During the busy days that kept Eris in his office she usually went to curl up in one of the sofas there, with a book, silently thinking about why for some strange reason she did want to be in his presence anyway, even in silence when he tried to disentangle whatever problem the Court was facing.

He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, his attention to the hounds enthusiastically wagging their tails, happy to be in the presence of their master. He looked up, feeling her presence, and offered a warm smile. She would never say it out loud, not after knowing him for such a short amount of time, but his smile made her think about the calm days of Autumn she had often daydreamed about in the past, when she had been wandering around the others courts always with a book in hand, reading the descriptions of warm coloured leaves and bonfires.

Eris reached for her hand as she approached him and gently kissed her knuckles before intertwining their fingers.

"Your grace is brightening my day," he murmured.

Y/N smiled at him, hoping to control the blush that she knew was making its way to her cheeks. She blamed the magic bond between them for how she had catched herself thinking about him in the last few days. In truth she had been relieved when she had realised how gentle he was with her, always making sure of her comfort; but she had seen the fire that was his power as much as it was his personality, the firmness and confidence he displayed in ruling his Court. The night before she had surprised herself thinking about how it would feel to kiss him, to have that gentleness turn into the fire she knew he had in him, to feel his hands and his lips fervently and hungrily explore her body. She had quickly put her absurd thoughts aside and it had been almost easy, but now she was walking next to him and it was impossible to ignore the warmth radiating from his body, making her remember every thought she had the night before. Y/N was tempted to snatch her hand away from his, but that would probably rise questions and maybe erase all of the progress they had made.

Eris guided her to a wisteria covered gazebo overlooking the woods that surrounded the Forest House.

"I was under the assumption that you had a meeting with your advisors this afternoon," said Y/N, not that she was upset to be there, but still the note she had received from him hours before had made her perplexed and a little guilty.

Eris grinned "No, the meeting had strangely disappeared from my schedule". She refrained from rolling her eyes, she didn't want him to ignore his duties just to entertain her, she didn't feel worthy of such bother.

He pressed a kiss to her temple as if he had sensed the tone of her thoughts. "Since the first time I saw you in this gardens, secretly smiling at every little plant as if they were your friends you had become the light of my days. And I will make sure to demonstrate that for as long as you will allow me," he murmured and then he added with a tender expression "Stop doubting your importance to me, my mate".

Y/N didn't respond, she looked away and started walking slowly in direction of the fountain, trying to hide her flushed cheeks and the troubled look in her eyes. She ignored the water and entered a path to the rose garden. She could feel Eris' eyes on her, studying her reactions and the awkwardness she had not presented in weeks. She asked herself what would he do if she broke their silent harmony of friendly hours spended talking and polite touches, they were mates but they acted like nothing more than two strangers who had recently started a discreet friendship which was also not far from the truth, but did he want her in the same way she had surprised herself wanting him lately? Or were they just trying to be civil after a superior force had pushed them together?

Y/N looked down pretending to find the falling of the leaves over the gardens interesting.

She did not notice Eris taking a rose from one of the bushes that were all around them until he brushed the flower against her arm and handed it to her.

Y/N didn't want to look at him, knowing that all of her thoughts were perfectly readable in her eyes, instead she leaned back, knowing that she would be met with his warmth. He chuckled when her back rested against his chest, his arms surrounding her waist.

"What did I do right to deserve such a treat?" whispered Eris in her ear.

Y/N shook her head and turned around, shyly leaving a delicate kiss on his lips and then observing his reaction, instinctively expecting him to laugh at her or to tell her that it was a mistake. The conviction of being unwanted and undesirable was stronger than her, deeply engraved into her heart by a life of solitude. She felt tears threatening to escape her self control.

But before she could regret her actions and run away, Eris' lips were on hers, hungrily kissing, tasting, savouring her with a passion that made her knees weak. When they broke away from the kiss she noticed tears in his eyes as well, and a fire that took her breath away. No one had ever looked at her that way and she was sure that no one would ever want her as fervently as Eris did.

They stayed there for a long time, both made speechless by the raw sense of belonging that had rushed over them, created by the mating bond and by something more. Neither of them had the courage to say it out loud yet, irrationally scared to shatter the enchanted silence of the rose garden with words. Without them noticing, love had made its way into their lives and it felt stronger than magic.

[shizuedayo]

Random Thought

We repeatedly saw "Seele" trying to impersonate Seele, but never have we seen Seele impersonate "Seele"...

It would be fun to see them impersonate each other as a prank during April Fool's It would probably be something like this: --5 days before April Fools--

"Seele": "Hey Seele, are you planning something for April Fools?" Seele shakes her head Seele: "Nope, why the question?" "Seele": "I saw the Twins buy balloons and paint the other day, probably to make paint balloons and throw it to everyone's faces, and I think that dumb bird's planning something... scammy." Seele: "I can see the professors and the staff having a hard time cleaning the mess..." Seele mumbled, already imagining the paint-splattered walls the twins would bring upon them that day, and the angry screams of a certain lobster-head "Seele": "So why not join them? Since there's going to be chaos and all of us would be inevitably affected. Besides, it's been a while ever since we did something together." Seele fell into deep thought In one hand, she believes that they shouldn't contribute to the chaos considering that everyone (well, except the perpetrators) would have a hard time dealing with it afterwards, on the other hand though... "Seele" is right. It's really been a while ever since they did something together. The two of them are always busy training, completing missions, and helping those in need. There are even days where the only moments they see each other is at the start and at the end of the day. Hmmmm... I think this would be a nice change of pace. Besides, seeing "Seele" be excited on doing something is quite rare. Even if it's meant to cause more chaos...

So.... Seele eventually agreed. Seele: "Sure, it's really been a while ever since we did something together, that day is also a weekend so we have the day to ourselves. The question though... What should we do that day?" The two of them fell into silence "Seele": "Swap canned foods for expired ones?" Seele: "NO! We don't want people to get food poisoning and get hospitalized just for a simple prank..." "Seele": "How about stealing lobster-head's latest invention and go guns ablazing?" Seele: " 'Seele'... We're gonna cause property damage if we do that... Preferably something harmless, please."

Harmless... something... harmless... hm? This can do. "Seele": "How about you act like me and I'll act like you for a day? It's something only we can do and it won't hurt anyone, right?" Besides, I wanna see how you would impersonate me hm~ Seele: "Ah, like that one time you-" "Seele": "Ahem. We don't need to bring up the past." Seele: "Sure, we can do that, but 'Seele'..." "Seele": "What? Don't tell me we can't do this too?" Seele: "Nono, it's just that... are you fine with this?" "Seele": "Well, do you have any other ideas?" Seele: "...Okay then. But I have to prepare, I don't really have any experience acting as you like you do." "Seele": "I'm sure you'd do fine" And indeed she did. Too perfectly may I add. too lazy to write more since I have to draw but basically During the 5 days of preparation, Seele keeps staring and taking notes of "Seele's" habits (much to "Seele's" embarrassment). Being the hardworking girl she is, she also researched about how to act www All in all, she's taking this way too seriously wwwwwwww Then when the big day came, Seele acted as her other self so well and so perfectly to the point her other self had existential crisis :"DDD

Heck her performance was so stellar to the point that when Seele was offered spicy food she ate it like no problem, maintaining her act flawlessly (even complaining it's not spicy enough for her taste), while "Seele's" struggling to eat sweet foods, her facade slipping from time to time wwww Bronya even believed the two's prank (although she had some suspicions of "Seele" (who is impersonating Seele) because she's acting weirdly www). But Bronya for sure didn't even doubt Seele's "Seele" act www In the end, "Seele" herself stopped the whole prank because she died a thousand times internally when she witnessed Seele's "Seele" tsundere act :"DDDD "Seele" asked how tf did she manage to do it so perfectly and Seele listed three reasons: 1. The both of them know each other for a long time; 2. She researched a LOT so she won't embarrass "Seele" (though it had the opposite effect); and 3. She took pointers from Senti xD The last point basically gave "Seele" a target to take out her embarrassment but then she would be bullied by Senti and her mind-reading teasings wwwwwwwww

[silversiren1101]

For Jesyll: ☮ for a scene about behaving well

[Struck by this idea: what exactly does behaving 'well' mean in the mind of a young ganzi-gnome?]

Her lip worms its way through her sharp teeth, the soft flesh almost always a ragged, chewed, slightly tender mess. It's her thinking habit, and, boy, for a little girl of five summers, does Jesyll has a lot to think about. Her thoughts run as fast as momma's griffin, Danza, can fly, only slowing down when her tiny frame runs out of energy to keep them—and her feet—going, and sleep calls for her to rest up and recharge for more antics on the morrow.

And right now, she's thinking about a horse.

The horse that went into the main hall.

She saw it go in as the other knights arrived, ones wearing different armor than their knights here. They had funny faces on their chest armor, which might have been scary to other kids but certainly did nothing to her. Their armor was also more black than the knights here too, who wore dark metal that shone a deep and pretty green tint in the sun. They looked similar enough though, which told her that they were knights like their knights but not actually their knights—friends, maybe? Another Order, if she'd been paying attention to her lessons correctly.

Anyway, they had arrived just as she was being dragged away to one of said lessons. She watched them ride into the courtyard, and while most of them had put their pretty horses in the stable, one didn't. Its rider rode straight on their horse up the wide stone stairs and into the hall—the selfsame hall she was told not to go into today. At breakfast, Mom and Dad told her they were expecting guests today—other knights—and they would be meeting in the main hall instead of their usual offices, so to please be good and do her lessons and stay out of the hall.

Probably because a horse wouldn't fit in an office?

But why was there a horse in the hall? Why did the horse need to come inside? Horses weren't supposed to come inside! They were supposed to stay in the stables which is where all the other visiting knights' horses went. Why not this one?

The conundrum fills her thoughts, even as her quill works up and down the pages in front of her. It's only midday, so she's brimming with energy, fidgeting constantly. Her feet tap and bounce. Her tail coils all over itself. She bites at her chewed up little lip with teeth too sharp. Still, she's trying to do as she was asked to, despite the letters and numbers on these drills having been learned weeks ago. Roan insists on doing things at exactly the pace and way she said she's always done them, though, saying that Jesyll isn't any more or less special to warrant a change in how she's done things for... for... the little girl tells herself 'a century'. Old Roan certainly looks that age. Older than dad, somehow, and she knows he is actually two centuries at least. She's certainly old enough to be set in her ways! It doesn't matter that Jesyll can already read everything on these papers. It doesn't matter that she can already sum the numbers Roan thinks she's only just learned how to write. She's clever, is what her mom and dad said, which they said as simply as one would talk about the weather as much as it sounded like they were giving a warning—exactly like the weather when someone is telling you to bring a coat or umbrella. They even told all her tutors that she's moving fast and to keep her from getting bored, which all of them have done except for Roan... who's lessons were so boring that even she herself was snoozing at her desk in the corner. All the other knights that tutor her are only ever surprised and happy as Jesyll learns fast and asks questions, eagerly tackling bigger topics and lessons as her gnomish curiosity grow from a fledgling bird to a starving roc. Not Roan, though, who thinks she needs hours just to practice her handwriting; enough time at least to fall asleep despite it being midday!

So Jesyll has been left to her drills, which she blazes through. It's the one major thing she definitely tries not to disappoint her parents on: 'your schooling is everything, wyrmling.' Even though this bores her because of how easy it is, even though it makes her feel a little angry because it's too easy and she is so much cleverer than this. It's why she starts summing the numbers as she goes despite Roan only asking her to copy them—painstakingly—because she's clever and feels the need to remind—and warn—Roan that she is, and her parents will see her papers and see she did all this extra work and hopefully talk to Roan about making things more interesting.

But there's another reason.

The horse.

Jesyll works quickly because she just has to know. A little gnome's curiosity can only be held at bay for so long, and a ganzi gnome's? Even with the sums she chose to do, her quill is set down on her desk before Roan has even had half an hour to nap. She waits a few moments, to see if the old knight wakes. She even clears her little throat, because she wants to be good and ask if she can go out and play in the courtyard now, which is what all her other tutors let her do when she's done with their drills and lessons.

Roan sleeps on.

Jesyll slips out of the room.

Her little feet hardly make a sound—some of the knights have joked about getting her little bells for her shoes or for her tail given how many times she's almost been trampled underfoot. It helps her now, though, as she quietly pads out of the room and down the hall, thoughts of the horse in her mind. She worries not about Roan waking. The old lady knight will see that she did as she was asked—her drills are done and then some, after all—and assume she went out to play. If she has any complaints about it, then Jesyll thinks she should have stayed awake.

Not a shred of guilt or feeling of misdoing clouds her thoughts.

Instead, she thinks of a plan. Her parents told her to stay out of the main hall, but she can't just play without knowing what's going on with the horse. The main hall has plenty of doors into it, though, and she thinks to press her ear to one of them or peep it open a crack to peer in. That's not going into the hall, so she won't get in the way and disobey her parents. Right? Right.

Only, that idea is quashed the second she crosses an intersection in the hallways that lead there. She rounds the corner and her golden eyes land square on the face of a knight—one of theirs, at least—who stands watch afore the door she'd meant to peek through. She doesn't know his name, but still, she comes to a halt beneath his widened then narrowed gaze, a playful warning in them. He tilts his head, asking without words, "and just where are you going, little one?". It tells her that he most certainly won't help her in her plot. The knights never do, unless they've been given permission to. He probably has strict orders not to let little curious ganzi-gnomes past him at all. Still, she doesn't want to slink away with her tail between her legs, acting like she's in trouble when she isn't. She is just walking in her home. The knight instead gets a little wave from her little hand, which he returns with a nod... aimed in the direction of the courtyard.

"Go out and play, Lady Jesyll. You are not to pass through here."

Only a minor setback.

Another plan has already formed in her ever churning mind.

She pads off back down the hall and to the courtyard as implicitly ordered, though not to play.

The sun is high as she steps from the side door into the yard, conveniently very close to exactly where she needs to be. Someone will most certainly yell at her if she's caught, and the answer to that is simple: don't get caught. So long as she doesn't go into the hall and doesn't get caught, then she's done exactly as asked by mom and dad; perfectly logical reasoning concocted by her exceedingly clever and mischievous mind, woefully understimulated today. (A warning, remember, that she is clever.)

Much to her luck, the courtyard is busy with other work. Knights are in the middle of setting up tents. Nice ones. They're of deep black fabric with red trim, and banners on them have what looks like a sun but the points coming from it all look almost like spears. Are they for the visiting knights, wonders? The knights here are black and green, not red. Will they not be staying in the barracks like everyone else? It's strange, but she doesn't focus on it too long.

No, her sights are set to the window overlooking the main hall, reachable from the top of the stables. It's not a terribly difficult climb. At least, it doesn't look like it. She hasn't done it, but with her lightweight and tail, it should be simple enough. She's climbed enough trees and fallen off the walls enough times to not be afraid for better or for worse—most certainly worse, her parents would say. But to her, all she has to do is scamper up there without being seen, look down into the main hall and figure out why they let a horse inside, and then she can actually go and play. She does have a rather important scene to finish with her toys, after all. The Princess still needs to be saved by the dragon from the evil devil king. Or, she can swing her sword (stick) around at the her-sized training dummy Uncle Yaker set up for her on the other side of the yard. It's within view of the guest-knights too, and the urge to show off her prowess for her age and size is a siren song most tempting.

Later.

She slips into the stables quietly, pausing for a moment once inside to make sure no one saw her. No one comes in. The horses don't even make a stir, save for soft curious sounds as they expect sugar cubes or apples. She's snuck in here enough times to give them treats for them to know her by now. Her little hands are empty this time, however, and soon have her scampering into the stable rafters within minutes. She pulls herself up the piled bales of hay and only stops to apologize to one of the horses when some of it flies into their face, promising to bring it a sweet later, though it only snorts and eats at the extra hay in response.

Her tail supports her as she scuttles along the rafters, then to the eaves. It's the hardest part, making it on to the roof, but ever is the resourcefulness of a young ganzi with a prehensile tail and the insatiable curiosity and bravery of a gnome . Her hands and arms get a little bloodied, but what else is new? This is nothing like when she fell off the wall into the roses mom planted around the walls to keep intruders away. Uncle Daeran had to help with that, and it was a good thing he was here at the time. He's not here now though.

She tries not to think what that will mean if she falls from the stable roof she's now crawling across. Or if she falls from the stone wall and window she's quickly approaching. Even keeping a low profile—the knights might be tall, but not even they could see her with how flat she's pressed against the shingles—she reaches it fast. She certainly gets there faster than it would've taken for Roan to wake. The old knight is probably still asleep even as Jesyll's little fingers easily grip the weathered stone blocks that make the wall, so much more easily than an adult human could. Her tail steadies her as she climbs, only about five feet but that's nearly three of her. A fall from this height will hurt but it won't hurt. Not unless she falls completely to the courtyard. That won't happen. The stable roof would catch her first. It's not a possibility in her mind.

Only a few minutes pass before she's gripping the edge of the windowsill. It's a small ledge—clearly, it's a sill—but she is a small girl. Her little body easily huddles against the window as she pulls herself up, taking a few seconds to catch her breath before peering through the glass to finally solve this mystery; or, trying to. The window, so high up, hasn't been cleaned in what she guesses is forever. Probably never. It's splattered with roof drippings, bird droppings, and all sorts of other muck and grime. She can see blurry shapes and movement far down below, and hear muffled voices that definitely sound like her parents and some others. That's all. Certainly not enough to solve her mystery. To any other child, it might've deterred them. She merely spits on the glass and takes a sleeve to it, determined.

And then the window is moving forward.

The very moment she puts any pressure to the glass, it swings open with the loud screech of rust—along with a scream of her own. Hers comes entirely unwittingly, as the only thing she'd been able to balance against gives beneath her.

The world turns into a rapid blur. Wall tumbles over floor over wall over ceiling over wall. Her fall is instant, face-forward, down off the ledge, into the open air. She hears the scream along with other things, though not really: gasps and cries and clopping. Absolute fear grips her, that primal OH NO but nothing more because doesn't have time to think more as she falls. Not even her endlessly sprinting mind and thoughts are faster than gravity itself.

The walls the ceiling the floor the walls—darkness.

Then, she stops.

Not on the floor, no.

In the air.

A pressure grips about her little ribs, and she hears in the dark—eyes having closed instinctually before anticipated impact—relieved sighs and gasps as well as a great breathing, like a large animal. Then a clopping, like hooves, as she feels herself being moved about.

"Oh, gods, Maidrayne... thank you. I... I am so sorry—she should be with her tutor right now."

It's her mother, out of breath, clearly worried.

Then, her father sounds equally so, in his own way.

"Instead, she's climbing the exact window I told you was too easily accessible to an overly curious young gnome, even without the tail."

"And I told you that Roan isn't capable of keeping tabs on her, so I suppose we're both terrible parents today. Dammit..." The curse that follows is muffled. Speaking into a hand? It sounds tired.

Jesyll only hears all of this distantly. It comes through the roar in her ears of the panic and fear and adrenaline of her fall, and only because its her parents. Hearing them in this situation would've filled her with dread: entering the hall was exactly what she'd been trying not to do, and she'd done it in the most dramatic and dangerous was possible. Right now, though, she can't feel anything like dread. She can't even think of what she's done exactly. Her heart is still racing. Her thoughts are all in a disarray. Instead, the sound of her parents makes her want to burst into tears and reach for them, to make the fear go away in the safety of the crooks of their necks and arms.

But a sudden deep, reverberating snort cuts right through all that. It comes from behind her. Right behind her.

"So this is the terror stalking the halls of Citadel Darvhage", a voice deep and gruff, yet definitely feminine, comes from where the snort did; from where the clopping seemed to come from. "I must admit, the resemblance is uncanny. She is the spitting image of you both."

And then Jesyll is being rotated in the hands holding her aloft, the selfsame ones that caught her mid-fall.

"You... you're the horse", she speaks up. Her golden eyes opened seconds ago, and she stares dumbstruck at the person that caught her: the horse that isn't.

A woman, or, rather, the upper-half of a woman with dark, neatly cropped hair, holds her as if she were nothing more than the dolls she herself plays with. Her black eyes regard her curiously, scarred lips pressed together in amusement. Jesyll can't help but stare, everywhere. At the skull armor on her chest, and black plate along the arms holding her up; at the horse body covered in black hair beneath her, and the equally black plate protecting it; at how high up she's being held and why it felt like she hardly fell all that far at all, because this horse-lady is massive. On the ground, Jesyll thinks she wouldn't even come up to her... knee? She doesn't know if horse knees are called knees.

"Oh, hells, I am so, so sorry, Maidrayne. Jesyll is still very young, she doesn't know—" Past the lady, her mom, looks downright mortified as she surges forward. Her scales look almost white overtop the reddened skin of her cheeks, and her violet eyes are wide above her grimace. Back at the table—dragged into the hall because it usually isn't there, now covered with maps—dad pinches the bridge of his nose, shoulder armor clinking from the force of his sigh. The tips of his ears are slightly pink.

"—No insult taken, I assure you." The horse-lady cuts mom off as she seems to be profusely apologizing for, something? Her falling into the hall, probably. Instead, she smiles wide and holds Jesyll aloft higher, as if to get a better look at her. Jesyll only looks back down in kind, too confused and awed by the lady to even be scared anymore—though the trembling doesn't cease. She certainly looks human up top, or maybe half-elf? Her pointed ears make it hard to tell. But she is also unmistakably a horse below.

"She can't be, what, more than eight summers old?", the lady says, directed at her mother now standing next to her. Mom doesn't even come up the horse-lady's human waist with how massive she is. "It's hard to tell with you two-legged folk."

Mom looks... relieved. She shakes off the embarrassment and sighs, crossing her arms. Jesyll can see though from this vantage, where the horse-lady cant, the sign mom's tail is making directly to her: you are very lucky, wyrmling.

"Only five, actually. Young enough to not have a sense of self-preservation, as you can see."

The lady laughs again. Clopping echoes about the halls as she turns, and lowers Jesyll at the same time, delivering her into her mother's arms. Even with her armor on, Jesyll crowds into her neck, that scared part of her still searching for the comfort only a parent could give her from the fall. The smell of armor polish and oil is strong, but not strong enough to completely cover the comforting scent of mom. She breathes deep and presses her face right into the spot where her armor gives way to soft flesh, scale, and feather.

"And for many summers more, I imagine. Also a learned trait in our young."

Her mother laughs, and it's a genuine laugh, which Jesyll can tell. It rumbles against her face through her throat and makes her feel safer.

"Again, I'm terribly sorry, and thank you. She is quite a handful, even as tiny as she is."

"Please." Jesyll turns and watches the lady hold up a hand, waving off the apologies and thanks. "If ever there is a permissible chaos in this world, Lady Arangeir, it would be that of our children."

"'Minovae' is fine, Maidrayne, please." Her mother then shifts, and it's in the way that Jesyll can tell she is now speaking to her. "Speaking of which, Jess, dear, this is Maidrayne Vox. She's from the Order of the Nail, and no, she is not a horse. She is a centaur, which is a person just like an human or ganzi or gnome or elf. Say hello and thank her for catching you."

"...Hello... Thank you... Sorry..." She mumbles. From the way mom said it, calling her a horse was probably the thing she tried to apologize for.

Maidrayne, who Jesyll now knows is not a horse but a centaur, dips into a bow. Her knees lower to the stone floor, like a horse kneeling, and her upper half sweeps into a bow like a two-legged person would. Even so, she still somehow towers above mom and her. Jesyll wonders what it would be like to be that huge. She's only ever been tiny.

"My pleasure. I can only imagine you came to be in this situation because of me, anyway." Something shines in her dark eyes.

How did she know?

Jesyll nods. "I saw you go into the hall and wanted to know..."

"We were going to introduce you at dinner this evening, had you been more patient." Her father's voice sounds from the side, and Jesyll lifts out of mom's neck to see him leaning against the table, arms crossed. His eyes, pale and yellow, no longer gold as hers are now, are narrowed. His scowl is deeper than usual but then he sighs, and the stern anger melts off his face. A gauntlet runs through his silvery purple hair. "I suppose we should ground you, but that will do little. It certainly did little for me at your age. I trust the fall was fearful enough to give you some sense, at least?"

She nods again. A little too vigorously, maybe.

"I see Lictors naturally have soft spots for their daughters", Maidrayne snorts. "Severs is much the same with his three, though he and they know the importance of a good scolding and appropriate punishment."

Dad waves his hand, as if to shoo away the notion. "As do I, just as I know a fruitless endeavor when I see it. Jesyll has learned from this... and, I also know the safest place for a reckless and overly curious young gnome is not locked away, but tucked tight beneath as many eyes as possible. She will be joining us for dinner tonight."

"I'm... not in trouble?" Her little voice pipes up.

Mother laughs. She laughs loud and long. "Oh, no. You are in so much trouble."

[sketch-guardian]

HELLO! I hope you've been doing well, I certainly missed reading your writing! I have come with another question after a while! What are the classmates' biggest insecurities? Thank you! - Isa

Hello to you too Isa!✨I'm sorry for not posting much in this period,but I was quite busy and a bit tired🙈still,I'm doing okay,thank you for asking☺I hope you're doing alright as well! Also thanks, that's very sweet of you to say😳💕regarding your ask, I think by writing about their insecurities, I'll end up including some of their biggest fears as well, so I apologize in advance if these insecurities don't seem to be valid enough or count as such, so if the answer isn't satisfaying enough, please feel free to send me another ask so that I can change/fix things🙈

WHAT ARE THE RAD CLASSMATES BIGGEST INSECURITIES?

DEMYA

Her low intelligence/loss of control

Demya started her education late compared to other demons and it was Azul who taught her to read and write after her return to civilization, however this doesn't mean that she doesn't still have troubles and although this doesn't normally bother her, she fears deep down not to be taken seriously or to be treated like an idiot or an animal due to her general culture. Another one of her insecurity concerns the self-control she has during her hunger, Demya fears that one day she will end up hurting her friends and MC without wanting to/noticing it and she would hardly be able to forgive herself if something like that happened.

DOMNRA(MOBIM)

His character/not counting anything

Domnra knows that he doesn't have a pleasant attitude and that he has anger issues and even if he doesn't show it, he fears that sooner or later his friends and MC will get tired of him and that they'll abandon him, leaving him alone and unable to confess really how he feels, because of his stupid pride. He has also always had self-esteem issues since his days as an angel, where he wasn't particularly considered, unlike other special angels, so he fears that even as a demon, his person won't have that much importance and he doubts that anyone would miss him.

To be destroyed/its height

Even though its bond with Domnra is rather strong,close and secure, Mobim is still afraid that one day Domnra will decide that he wants to get rid of it, because it's useless. Mobim knows it is a curse, that it shouldn't exist and that if Domnra had found a cure long ago, it would no longer be there, but having lived for so long…now Mobim has developed a fear of dying. It's also quite insecure of its size, because it knows that despite being a curse, it's not threatening at all.

AZUL

Being alone for too long,especially with his thoughts/not being able to protect his loved ones

Azul loves the company of people not only because he's a social butterfly by nature, but also because it helps him not to override his intrusive thoughts that have taken up residence in his head since his fall from the Celestial Realm, he tends to be scary when he loses control and is afraid that sooner or later this will make others leave him behind. Though he doesn't seem insecure given his power and behavior, Azul doesn't think he would be able to grieve,due to his mental instability,and fears that one day his arrogance will cost his friends and MC a heavy price.

ZURI

Not being good enough according to her perfectionistic standards

Zuri has always been under observation and pressure since her days as an angel, where her every move was judged and analyzed and although she is free now, as a demon she still has the habit of always aiming for perfection, not so much for the opinion of others, but for herself, not believing she could afford anything less. She's never confessed it to anyone, but she's afraid that if she acts or presents herself in a different, less refined way, people close to her won't recognize/care for her. She thinks many people want to get to know her only due to her status or beauty.

ODON

Not being accepted because of their past

Odon remembers the atrocious acts they committed centuries ago and a part of them doesn't regret their choices, because they knew they were acting according to their demon nature and therefore they don't feel particular remorse, however now they're trying to change,aware that many are still afraid of them. Odon fears that despite their best efforts, no one will be able to see beyond their monstrous eldritch horror nature.

[sporadicwritingstuff]

forbidden fruit

She kneeled on the cold, knees numb on the hard marble floor, praying fervorously with a rosary between her fingers, tears streaming down her cheeks, through closed eyes.

Her whole body ached, burned even, as she prayed to the heavens to be let out of the chains of that torture. She wanted to find peace. That was the reason for her to seek religion and, even further, took the vow to become a nun, seeking relief of all material and carnal issues.

For a long while it had been like heaven. She grew accustomed to the simple routine, to the never ending chores and prayers, enjoying also the meals shared with her new family. Days passed by with ease, light and bright as she felt finally inner peace

But then, everything changed.

Every night she was plagued with sullen dreams, and wept, thighs wet with desire yet parched with the need of relief. She melted silently every night, sanity escaping through her fingers like sand, unable to quench the thirst she harbored inside. The wanting but denial. Push and pull. In and out.

In and out. In... and out. In and out and in again-

Between moans, she pleaded to her god, pleasing her body and losing her mind, her soul, wondering if she had been cursed. Believing it was a curse.

Unable to find solace on her routine and the chores, and the praying and the nightly torture, she found herself kneeling on that cold marble. Throat raw, dry, from praying, for a last time, for a miracle, to be saved.

It was so easy to fall into perdition.

"One more sleepless night, little lamb?" his words were like honey, like pure sin. her body quaked, even before his hands found her shoulders, the warmth of his skin seeping through her habit, coursing through her body, finding that deep spot inside of her that she desperately needed to be reached.

"Please," her lips moved, not daring to look at him yet. Because she knew, once that she opened her eyes- once that he met hers, he would know. He would be able to see all the undisclosed desires in her heart.

His fingers touched her chin, and as she gasped with the simple gesture, she knew it was over. Her eyes met his, his dark stare immediately pulling her in, pinning her to place. He looked at her from above. With tears brimming her eyes she understood: he too wanted the same things of her. It had been clear, right from when he arrived to the church.

Sin embodied. Visions flashed through her mind, and she tried to avoid, but as he smiled, everything came flooding in.

His hands cradling her head, finding her hair and gripping fistfuls, pressing her face to him, her mouth open, greedly ready to recieve his essence, to let him use her, that once sang praises to the lord, to stuff her throat full, sink on her until it was raw and she could barely breathe.

Him hardly minding her habit as he pushed it away, pressing her face to the altar, exposing her shame for the empty crowd filling the pews, prying his fingers one after the other, tortuosly slowly, because she was an undeserving slut, as he would hashly whisper in her ear. He'd praise her for how wet she was, how delicious she tasted, baptising himself between her thighs, but not ever giving her relief, not until she cried, and begged for it, much like she beg her god for forgiveness.

"Let's pray together, little lamb. Let's stray you back into the path."

She could see the devil in his eyes, in how sweet was his smile, his words. Alas, she took his hand, when he offered it. It was her perdition, but felt right, as she belonged.

For the last time, as she let herself sink into the depths of the abyss, she chanted her god's name, as a goodbye, to peace, and to the light.

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

WIP Saturday

I posted a wip on my other blog but got something to share here also. Have some stuff from two pieces! One being a little AU ship for Anthea a friend made mention of a kind of variation of it and has been rotating in the brain ever since. I also have some Siberite and Ali getting ready for dinner at Sib’s house. The first one doesn’t have any spoilers, second half is EW related since it’s Thea and we deal with Ancients so that one is spoilers! Other than that I hope you have fun! If ever anyone wants to be tagged just let me know!

Siberite and Ali bonding time!

She can’t though, as much as she’d like too, there’s work to be done and that starts with making it through this dinner. She takes a deep breath letting herself sink beneath the water watching the pink tinted water take on some gray as the grime frees itself from her hair, deep pink joining their movements to the surface as more of the dye washes away to bring forth the natural purple, something her mother will be thrilled with surely. It’s all a ploy, Siberite thinks as she scrubs away the dirt, scabs, and any notion that she’s been spending most of her days fighting the last three and a half Source years, They won’t just give me up that easily. They want nothing more than to keep me home.

She stops, blinking a few times hoping the nail brush in her hand isn’t real, that the pristine shine of her fingers and hands is a trick of the light and when she’s through there will still be the dirt she can never quite get near the cuticles, the tinge of yellow on them from the years of harsh soaps still lingers, and the callouses simply softened will harden once dry. But she knows these habits, knows that when she’s through here someone will be waiting in her room to cut away dead skin, soften her hands even more with oils that smell of lavender, and paint her nails in either a metallic that will match her gown or a neutral color that gives attention to the rings that will adorn her. She will look the perfect Lady down to the minute detail. She will look like herself once more, the her that’s always reflected when she passes the mirrors and looks her combatants in the eye. The image her mother still sees….

The quick rapt at the door makes the water splash with her panic before hearing Katla’s voice, “Mistress Siberite, I’m very sorry to disturb you but you’ve been in there quite a while. Shall I send someone in to assist in your preparations? Perhaps refill your bath with more hot water?”

“No, thank you. I’m just about done actually.”

“Then I shall have freshly warmed towels sent in along with your robe.” Siberite hears the woman walk away, promptly getting back to the last few steps in making herself presentable. As if they were simply waiting outside the door for her, the towels and plush robe are brought in and it takes a few attempts to let the two staff members leave her be, insisting she change fully in her room, uncaring that she’ll have to walk down the hall in nothing but her robe. The steam follows her three doors down until Alisaie’s voice makes her stop.

“I’ve already taken a shower and redid my hair, what more could you possibly need to do?”

Siberite smiles, walking closer to peek through the small opening of the door to see a defiant Ali dressed in a similar robe to her own with comfy casual shorts just peeking beneath it, “Ma’am I’m sorry but Lady Akagane wishes everyone to look presentable. Which means-.”

“Well are you putting my brother through these same inane steps?” The young staff woman stutters, “That is exactly what I thought. Now will you please-.” Siberite steps into the room, trying to hide the smile wanting to break free, Alisaie clearing her throat, “Siberite, I- I didn’t see you there.”

The warrior glances over at the young staff member with a small smile, “I don’t believe I know you, remind me of your name.”

“Shannah, ma’am.”

“Shannah, while it’s lovely to meet you, I do believe Katla could use a few extra hands in the dining room.”

“But your mother-.”

“Will be fine. I’ll help Alisaie.” Shannah looks between the Scions with wringing hands, “I can assure you I know how to do hair and make up to my mother’s standards.” The young woman swallows before nodding and rushing out the door.

“Thank you for that,” Alisaie says, falling back into the chair facing the vanity with a huff, “You would think we were having dinner with a king.”

Siberite chuckles, “That’s not out of the realm of possibilities you know. Come on, sit up straight,” she says, patting the young woman’s back into position.

“Do we really have to do all of this?”

Siberite combs her fingers through the undone white hair that’s gained some frizz with the humidity, “For my mother, yes. She’s very particular and does like to have excuses to dress up and show off.” The small drop of oil spread across her hands and combed through quickly makes for a silky and smooth canvas. She looks Alisaie in the eye through the mirror, “I know you would rather keep your look, but we have to do it up a little differently. Would you want it to still be pulled back and feel a bit like the braid you normally wear?”

“I’d rather not,” she grumbles with a cross of her arms, “but if we must then sure. I trust you to not make me look even more foolish than I already feel.” Siberite gives a small smile, her hands starting to already work on sectioning and braiding as Alisaie watches on. “If I may ask, why did you never tell anyone about how you grew up? None of us would have thought any less of you.”

————————————————

A little Anthea and Hermes meeting more formally for the first time!

“Just….a little….,” Anthea says as they reach up towards the last hanging purple fruit in the coniferous tree, “further.” Their fingers just brush the flesh of it when they hear the scraping of their shoe against bark, can feel as their foot only stands on air with their body following suit. Anthea reaches out, other leg hooking itself around the branch in enough time as their hands fail to grip onto it. Their hooked leg keeps them on the branch as they fall backwards until their head makes contact with something else just as hard, mask flying away. They hiss as whatever they hit exclaims in pain, massaging the now sore area as they open their eyes. Anthea twists trying to find what hit them to no avail, moving on to see if they could get enough momentum to bring themselves back onto the branch, finding that to also be something they cannot do. A groan comes from behind them, Anthea looking around, “Hello? Who’s there?”

Though it hurts their neck they manage to get a glance behind them too find another dressed in the standard black robes, with richly tanned skin and short black hair, looking around. The stranger soon moves to come into Anthea’s view half of his face covered by a white and silver mask, the shadow of a smile beneath it that brings a sheepish one to Anthea’s lips. “Tell me is it a common practice for new personel to be hit in the head from someone that is hiding in a tree?”

Anthea blushes, “Uhm, no. No when people are new, typically there’s some kind of sweets involved. Or well at least in my little section of housing, but I’ve heard others do the same.”

He let’s his smile free, “Then I shall hope for such lodgings. Do you need any assistance coming down?”

“It would be much appreciated.” Anthea scrutenizes him, “If you could simply just stand beneath me, I believe I can find an easy way down.”

“Would it not be easier if I simply held onto your waist?”

“Potentially but I will not force you into such a position when we’ve only just met.”

He laughs, “Seeing as I am offering I find no qualms about it.”

“I suppose that’s true.” They nod, hoping the heat they feel in their face is only from being upside down as he reaches up to grab onto their waist. They find enough footing to allow for their other leg to free itself, his grip helping in letting their desecent be slower. Anthea finds they are still a few ilms from the ground being held up only by the kind stranger. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he says setting them down, Anthea moving for their mask quickly, hiding their features. “What were you doing up there if I may ask?”

“There’s a purple fruit up there,” they say point up to where it still hangs, “I wanted to add it to my garden.”

“Would you not simply make a tree on its own?”

“I find it relaxing to sometimes just grow them from seeds,” they answer with a shrug, “It also can help with research knowing how long it takes for one to be tended to until it produces fruit.”

“I see,” he looks up into the branches and back down the trunk, until he smiles once more, “In that case, allow me.” Anthea doesn’t have time to protest when he’s already made his way up to the branch they had just been hanging from. His height makes the reach for it easier along with his coming down.

He hands it over, Anthea taking it and cradling it to their chest, “Thank you. You mentioned new personnel, are you new here?”

“Yes. My first day actually and I’m afraid I find myself a bit lost.”

“Oh, you are part of that big group from Amaurot, you’ve all just finished your initial training.”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Then as way of apology for hitting you in the head, I shall show you where to go.”

“I would be most grateful for such a thing,” he chuckles.

“First things first, new researchers should remain maskless until you are acquainted with the creatures and the ways in which they roam.”

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 27 - thoughts.

Heya everyone!

As promised, here are chapter 27’s notes! (which you can read over here! Please do so, to avoid spoilers)

This chapter was… frustrating as it was fun to write, because I got to introduce certain aspects of my life that drive me crazy 😂😭 and they seemed to have the same effect on her—who would’ve guessed that this story would turn into a slice-of-life (satire)? ahahahahah

So… let’s start by the beginning. (warnings: spoilers ahead!)

While writing this chapter is when I realized that I had only covered Y/N’s situation through the perspective of her family… her friends had yet to know why she had disappeared, and that was something that Hinata hoped to avoid as much as possible, because being the bad news bearer for her family was painful as it was, doing the same with your friends just added another layer of unnecessary turmoil.

I think that all of your friends in the sorcerer world would’ve already known what happened before being informed by Hinata. Whether because they overheard someone speak about it, or by connecting the pieces by their own (Zen’in heir married, Y/N gone)

I wasn’t sure of how close I wanted to make Shoko and Utahime to Hinata, Y/N and Ren—Mei Mei was like the easiest one to decide actually haha she’s the complete anti-thesis of Hinata, so I don’t think she would actually get along with either of Y/N’s siblings or Y/N herself… besides, I always got weird vibes from her, so yeah 🤣 name dropped her because why not.

From there, Shoko was someone that I knew would be friends with Hinata due to them studying together. Hinata would like her because she wasn’t all too compliant to Gojo’s and Geto’s antics, however, she would probably be a bit… discouraged by Shoko’s take of her own technique.

Your sister’s like: omg you can heal?! That’s amazing!!

Shoko: I mean... [I think this would obviously change when she's older, Shoko might be like: actually, you're right. I am the shit]

And don’t even get me started with her smoking habit… I think Y/N would’ve tried to hide if not replace her cigarettes with the candy ones lol.

Utahime on the other hand, I envisioned she was a bit apprehensive at first towards Ren (they first met at Kyoto!) and subsequently Hinata and Y/N because of their relationship with Gojo, but after getting to know them she was pleased to see that even if they were friends, they were not like him at all. Utahime really wonders how Hinata could even live with the fact that she’s going to marry him (or was; She might’ve tried to throw a party after hearing that the engagement was cancelled, but obviously didn’t because it wasn’t a happy decision to make to begin with 😥)

If I had to make a list of the friendships that went on (outside of the canon ones), this is how it would look:

Gojo, Geto, Y/N. (Hinata hates this relationship the most, Y/N might be a bit annoyed with Satoru from time to time, but deep inside, she looooves going along with his antics too haha)

Geto, Hinata.

Shoko, Hinata, Y/N.

Utahime, Hinata, Shoko, Y/N.

Utahime, Y/N. (They like going to the Karaoke a lot, Y/N is so proud (and maybe a bit jealous haha) of Utahime’s talent to the point where she almost signed her up to a contest but eventually removed her name when she recognized Utahime would be essentially cheating with her technique haha)

Also, it slipped my mind that Ijichi was a student at Tokyo when Gojo and the gang were there, and he’s Y/N’s age too! (that one panel where Satoru was a complete *hole to him was 💀 anyways…) his career later on in life made me wonder just how the academic program was like for the people that decided to follow the administrative path of the jujutsu world—they probably shared the same classes, but not many. At least not for Y/N and Ijichi to become friends.

Besides, it’s been stated that he doesn’t like partaking with Gojo out of the necessary and he’s somewhat fearful of Nanami (I can’t believe he said he’d cry if he got scolded by him lmao but same), people that are in essentially in Y/N’s life so... yeah.

Y/N tried to get along with him tho, even attempting to show him that Nanami wasn’t as intimidating as he appeared to be and Gojo could be somewhat nice… but he was like nope, I’m good thank you. (Maybe he foresaw he was going to have a tough time in the future and decided to save his energy for until then? Lol)

Anyways, now that I caught my mistake I was intending to fix it was Y/N being virtually alone during her school years because there never was a relationship between the two, they just had different career goals and rarely intertwined with one another because of that. I apologize for this mishap 😭

Moving on from that, I decided to write down a point I wasn’t so sure if anyone was interested about, which is… where is Nanami?

I think I might’ve made it a bit sappy, but you know what? We deserve it, more so after all the things Naoya has done towards us 💀 We deserve to feel special!! (More I mean, cause Naoaki is back there at the estate hehe)

Anyways, I tried considering many situations regarding Nanami and his involvement, and I just… well, it seemed natural that Hinata wouldn’t want him to know. After all, she’s being very careful with the people she’s informing with Y/N’s situation—if the Zen’in decide to retaliate against those they suspect could interfere with their plans, he could easily be taken out. And that’s something that would make your sister feel far guiltier—so she resorted to keep him away from the truth.

At the end of the day… it sucks to think that Nanami doesn’t know what’s going on with Y/N at all, but if I had to make a guess as to what he would think, he would undeniably be angry… and would do his best to help Hinata in anything she needed.

It makes me wonder the kind of relationship he had with Naoya 😂 they probably met at the exchange event at one point in their life since they’re of the same age, even fought against one another? Maybe. But it’s more than obvious that Nanami would not like Naoya at all, and not solely because of his treatment towards Y/N (although that would be a huge factor down the road) but because he started saying some off-putting things such as comparing himself to Gojo as respective heirs, strong sorcerers, that kind of shenanigans.

Besides, rumors about his personality follow him everywhere, so…

Moving on from Nanami… we get to the jewel of the chapter: Hinata’s endless desk work torture.

This is the part that I drew inspiration from my personal life 😭 it was absolute agony revisiting the things I had to go through because of my business 🤣

Starting by the bureaucracy behind it all.

It’s… surprising just how easily people can have you going around on circles for no apparent reason—I had a basic idea of it thanks to what I’ve been told/seen growing up from my relatives and friends, but it wasn’t until I started my business that I saw just how horrible it truly was.

There are some many requisites that you need to complete before, you know, engaging on actual activities... And it’s not that I complain about having to do it, but rather how it’s supposed to be done 💀

It’s a bunch of having to go to actual offices in different places of the city to get things done(when most of them could easily be done online! But even then… it’s a tedious hell to sign up and get access to those online services, the pandemic certainly hastened some modernization but still…)—wait in line until it’s your turn, expect some bad service 😅 or not being able to do anything at all because it’s time for them to close 💀

Yeah, it’s bad. And the location for these places are so random too… some of them are in the city, but others are just like so out there, they don’t even have the right kind of structure that doesn’t endanger the citizens going/living there.

I’m not kidding, there’s this one area that’s essentially known for this long highway that goes from one city to the other, through hills and whatnot. It’s filled with houses and what not on the sides (you literally step out of the house and the road is right there haha). Now, you’d think, well, certainly there’s going to be bridges or something for people to go from one side of the road to the other, right? Or at least some stops or traffic lights, right?

Nope. You wanna cross to the other side? Let’s hope you’re a good runner because you’re about try your luck by avoiding cars that go 65+ mph for no reason, as if you were frogger or something, and hope for the best—it’s that bad.

And… the main inspiration in putting the office Hinata had to go to a bit rather, way farther than she expected. Some would say that the reason behind putting offices on distant places were made to avoid clustering people in one location and what not… but at least make it accessible for everyone 😭 one could say they’re appealing to those that have their own car with all these peculiarities :^)

From there… the unnecessary requisites. Will explain more of the permit further ahead, but for now, let me tell you where this idea came from.

Because I live on the border of my country, and it’s somewhat easy to just cross to the other country, it’s really accessible to buy stuff from over there, import it without having to pay taxes (as long as it’s less than a certain amount), and make good profit over here.

Dear tax administration caught wind of it, thus in order to get some money out of those transactions, whatever you want to send has to be declared at customs. Yeah, even if it’s made inside the country or whatever, gotta declare it.

And gotta pay taxes (over taxes) for it 😭 even if you already did and whatnot. Sure, I get it… trynna make people responsible and pay their taxes because there’s allot of informal business doing their thing without paying…

But even if you show proof that you’re doing everything right, they don’t care :’) and that’s not even the end of it hahahahah there was this one time where I was trying to send a shirt, and since I make my own labels for it I kind of got rid of the original one that came with.

I went to get the product declared, and they were like nah you gotta have the other label. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just something that shows where it was made and the cost and what not.

To say that I was irritated is… well, and understatement hahah I was really annoyed by it cause I had all of my paperwork to show that it was from my brand (local), I paid taxes for it but whatever, if that’s what they wanted me to do then I would 😭 I returned the next day and… they didn’t ask for anything 💀 they made me lose a day just because … very disappointing indeed.

Or the 4 hours in line at customs every time I wanted to send a parcel via express service… a nightmare.

From there, the last thing that inspired me to push Hinata into this hell was my experience with trademarking my brand. It was an online process because the nearest office to do that is like 2-3 states away so… I felt very anxious about doing it in the first place, but I did it anyways.

I submitted my request and paid the fee for it… and then, I realized my logo was all messed up 😭 I don’t know what happened during the upload process but it was just not good—and since the only way I could contact them was via mail (which have the reputation of never getting answered, or maybe like in 5 months) or schedule a 30min call…. Yeah, I was really nervous that my brand was going to be registered wrongly.

They eventually contacted me and they were like: you gotta pay for the whole process again 😭 I was like noooo!!! Just… let me change the image, it shouldn’t be that much! But they didn’t want to because apparently it was my fault 💀 instead, they offered to just register that one (at least the name) and just file another request for the actual correct logo.

I managed to defend myself though, because there were like 3 different versions of my logo in their system and I told them that I just wanted to know which one was going to be registered since there were like different interpretations hahaha

I didn’t hear from them for a while, and suddenly, I got an email saying that my logo and name was successfully (CORRECTLY!!) registered. Lmao. The audacity of wanting to charge me more…

So yeah, I could really go on about the many things that inspired me to have Hinata going around in circles. She already disliked doing paperwork… now she hates it 😂

Anyways… to the good part :> picking up from the last chapter, I wanted to actively contradict Hinata and her faith on the system.

The way she said that she still trusted HQ to not allow any kind of corruption (or at least that blatantly) was really… saddening tbh. It’s like that audio that’s going around on tiktok (and remember kids, next time somebody tells you the government wouldn’t do that, oh yes they would) the realization that those who are supposed to serve/protect don’t really… it’s heartbreaking.

Gege has been quite explicit with the type of issues that the jujutsu community is plagued with, starting by allowing 3 families to essentially make decisions for the rest 💀 from there, the entitlement coming from members of said family, and the discrimination of those they consider less.

Hinata is someone who fortunately never had to endure most of those issues, however, as much as she wants to call herself self-made… she’s not, at least entirely. Writing about her privilege is something that I’m sure she would’ve rather kept a secret because she’s so embarrassed/disappointed about it. Like she would never admit that she had all those shortcuts, you know? Because she’s always tried her best to work hard and earn them, unfortunately, because she is in this bubble way different from the rest, living with people that are of the same fabric, she never noticed such things until her engagement ended with Satoru.

Her siblings could’ve pointed it out… but they decided not to because they felt she was already trying her hardest to make a space where they didn’t feel as if she were their competition… and if she had the facility of obtaining something without having to work that hard for it… then why not allow it? Let her enjoy a few things you know? 😭

But yeah, I know stated Hinata to be a somewhat normal sorcerer compared to Gojo, in the sense that she’s no longer getting any benefits from them, and will be put aside whenever possible.

To think Naoya was somewhat right by saying that she got benefits through her relationship with Gojo… (BUT NOT IN THE WAY HE MEANT THO, THAT NEVER HAPPENED AND THAT WAS JUST HIM TRYING TO RILE Y/N UP EW)

Anyways… Gojo genuinely didn’t know about the permit, I know he’s an idiot from time to time (always) but he would never intentionally mess up something as serious like that. He want’s Y/N back too 😭

Now… the permit 👀

Let’s say that the permit was not needed at all… for a grade 1 sorcerer like her.

The permit is supposed to be for sorcerers of lesser rank. Hinata could’ve easily entered the archives and just get what she needed had it been anyone (righteous) to help her out.

And if she needed a permit, she could also get it there at the school… or so I think, since the schools are apparently used for many things, and I imagine that they must be more than capable of issuing various kinds of documents, a simple permit should be easy.

And as stated in the end of the chapter… all these obstacles were placed to keep Hinata as busy as possible, and even push her to give up 😅

The expiration date, the proof of id and license, were just excuses to not let her in, made by the people involved: Machiko and Nakamura.

The only reason why Hinata was able to get out of that loop was because of the woman that was in Nakamura’s place that day. She was a bit… confused as why she was getting a permit to begin with (and in Nara, of all places, since she wrote down she was from Tokyo), but since she just wanted to go back to finish all of the piled up work, didn’t question the why behind her action and just handed her the document.

If Nakamura was there, he probably would’ve lied about the system being down again… which he thought was more than enough to push her into not coming back, but when she returned for the last time, he was like fine here, have the permit whatever (Machiko warned him about Hinata growing suspicious so he had to be careful)

Also, he was the one responsible before the Kyoto typo— Hinata did write Kyoto in the permit but he decided to intentionally mess it up in order to fumble her attempts. 😭

That’s all I got to say about Nakamura, now Machiko… she’s someone I consider much more interesting.

THERE’S A THOUGHT THAT I COULDN’T GET OUT OF MY HEAD WHILE WRITING HER SCENES WHICH IS: Hinata being like oh damn this receptionist is kind of cute HAHHAHA

PICTURE THIS: Naoya and the gang needed someone to infiltrate the schools and inform them if the L/N siblings do something, right? But they just didn’t know who… that is, until someone was like “I heard through the grapevine that Hinata’s type is a girl with [x] [y] and [z]. Why not place someone that matches that description to distract her?!” and everyone kind of just agreed hahaha thus, Machiko was placed there to act like some kind of honeypot!!! And Hinata fell for her! (a bit)

Her personality was also another requisite for her to have the job, she had to be rude, condescending, overall, a hard person to get along with so Hinata could struggle even more. And even then… she was like “I can fix her” ah, silly Hinata… 😔 to think that she actually felt bad for her deceit (the family thing was another lie, which is why she was acting weirdly when Hinata brought it up) and wanted to make amends with her! Ugh.

However, Machiko far from being interested in being loyal to the Zen’in, she just wanted to get the money and move on. So maybe she can still be redeemed hahahah

And talking about romantic interests and relationships—I was very happy to finally (partially) introduce Ren’s girlfriend! She was planned from the very start; however, I didn’t have a name for her or any more development. (My mind keeps suggesting me I should make her part of the Inumaki clan, but I’d rather not) I’ll talk more about her on the character profile sheet (if that’s the right name) I’m making for everyone so :> I envision Ren to be very affective with her (thanks to Minako and Eiichi haha) to the point where Hinata is like 😳 I must look away. Aw, at least he’s in a happy relationship compared to his sisters…😭

Circling back to the call… the Zen’in knowing what Hinata is doing (or trying to do) is something that I already hinted before in previous chapters. I don’t remember which one exactly, but if I recall correctly, I think it was right after Y/N was sentenced to death and Naoya was like wtf —still trying to process what happened— but then Ogi came along and was like ok she’s going to die, so what? that happens, I sometimes wish my wife was dead, that’s the married life, big deal! Her sister, however, has been doing this!!!

I wonder who she was contacting though 👀? As well as what is the Zen’in planning to do once they have the basic idea that Hinata is actively investigating them? Oof.

Let’s hope she’s able to do much before it’s too late ☹

Anyways, this was just to show once more how busy Hinata has been, and what she did when she was away. She’s been so busy trying to find a way to get Y/N out of the estate that she almost missed the exam she was supposed to help out 💀 poor Hinata, I seriously want to get rid of some of the pressure but… well, my role here is to torture every character :^)

I’m excited to announce that the next chapters will be about Naoya, Y/N and Naoaki :> I hope you like them!! There’s like 2 scenes that I want to show you guys gkashjgksahgjahgjkahgkjla aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Well, thank you so much for reading these notes, as well as the support you’ve given me for the main story 🥺❤❤❤

If you have any more questions about the chapter in general, please let me know! I’ll do my best to answer them without spoiling the story mwahahah

Take care, have a wonderful week, and hope to see you soon ❤

[davishater]

A Playful Bath Time

(f!male) Winter and childhood friend SFW

(This is the first time I've ever posted something like this, so if it's actually NSFW, or labeled wrong in general, please let me know and I'll fix it.)

She walks into the apartment, exhausted from a long day of work, and half hazardly throws her keys in a small dish next to the front entrance. As she walks further down the hall, she can hear faint music and singing from behind one of the closed doors. She stops and listens to assess the situation, a habit she developed, because of her job.

"Everytime you look at her, I close my eyes / Does she keep you up all night, keep you up all night? / Why'd you say forever if you change your mind?"

Along with a female singing, she hears water splashing every few seconds. She decides it's safe to knock, but doesn't receive an answer after a few tries.

"Lost in her own world again..." She thinks.

The woman slowly opens the door, to try and not scare the other, but failed. The girl in the bath tub screams and desperately trys to find anything to use as a weapon.

"Uh, no, it's just me."

The woman at the door stopped in her tracks to try and calm down the other girl.

"Uhhhhg! Winter! I thought you were a burglar!" Shouted the scared girl.

She's a well known friend of Winter's. In fact, she's the longest friend Winter has managed to keep around. The apartment is one that they started to share after Winter ran away from the Moriarty house. Her friend was living in Japan and recently broke up with her boyfriend she was living with. Winter had business she had to attend to in Japan anyways, so she decided to move in. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to check up on you. You were singing one of those songs again."

She goes silent for a moment, her face almost looking as if she's searching for something on Winter's face, then replies after blinking a few times.

"No, no, no, I'm fine. I just really like that song."

Winter picks up her friends phone and inspects what's showing on the screen.

"You're listening to the whole playlist."

"I'm ok, gease! Just drop it!"

Winter puts down the phone and starts stripping off her clothes.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No, go ahead." Is barely heard inside the tub.

Winter situates herself in the other side of the tub, while her friend looks away. She noticed this behavior since she's moved in. When they were younger, they used to always bathe together like this, having serious and deep conversations. Both of them have also said things that they never thought they'd voice to another person. For them, as silly as it sounds, bathing together has a similar effect that alcohol has on other people.

Winter put both arms on either side of the tub and leaned back. She closed her eyes and let the swaying of the water and the music coax her into a peaceful state, despite the sadness behind the words.

"Then I saw a picture of your smile / something I haven't seen in a while / you know the one, the one you love to hate / but everytime, it takes my breath away."

"You know, as a kid, I used to look forward to when we could just sit in the tub like this." Says the other girl.

"Mmmh... Not anymore?"

"No, I still do, but as an adult, I didn't think we'd be able to continue."

Winter slowly opens her eyes and watches the girl across from her. Her head is still turned away and her body looks stiff. Her face is a little pinkish, too, but Winter can't tell if it's from the bath, or something else.

"In my heart is where you'll be / Holding on to all our dreams / With everything, everything but me / do you know how much it hurts? / To go and leave it all behind, leave it all behind / I see you in my mind / You are right there all the time."

Winter closes her eyes and tries to relax down again.

"You're thinking too much, it doesn't suit you."

"Wha- hey! I'm just trying to be realistic here!"

"Is that what he wanted from you? You're not the kind of person who thinks realistically, that's my job to do for you. You should keep living in your fantasy. You're happier there."

Winter doesn't hear anything, so she cracks her eyes open to find her friend glaring daggers at her. Once she realizes what she has said, she sits up quickly and starts saying the first thing that comes to her head to try and calm her friend down.

"That is not what I meant! I swear, it came out worse than I meant it too! See, I like it when you live in your fantasy world, cause it helps to keep me grounded. You remind me that I don't have to be serious all the time and I always enjoy being with you and I like listening to the silly stories that play out in your head. Gah! I'm just, I'm sorry!"

The girl fails to hold back a chuckle and breathes out a sigh.

"Ok, ok, just let me go and I'll forgive you."

At some point, Winter had placed her hands onto her friends knees while giving her an apology. Winter looked her dead in the eyes and she quickly looked away, quietly repeating what she said earlier.

"If you let go of me, I'll forgive you."

Winter just kept staring in curiosity and couldn't help but wonder why her friend was acting this way. She has found her friend always looks away when she's wearing clothing (or too little, in some instances) that's too revealing. Winter decides to do an experiment and tease the girl. After all, if her thinking was right, then this would be a very interesting turn of events.

"Winter, let go."

Winter adjusts both of her hands to have a tighter grip on the girls knees. She spreads her legs, so fast, that the sound of her knees hitting either side of the tub could be heard throughout the apartment. The gasp that her friend made, well... There's no way you could call that a gasp...

"Are you-"

"Shut up! The last time we bathed together was when we were kids! I- I didn't expect for your body to... Mature so much!"

"Clearly, my body isn't the only thing that has matured... You're mind has, too."

"I said shut up!"

She starts hitting Winter on her head while Winter covers her head and laughs at the situation. She moves back to her original position, with her arms on both sides of the tub, to try and calm herself from the laughing.

"I can't give him everything, not all of me / when you still got me / If I'm being honest / I don't know if I'll feel love / As I did when I was young / Anymore / He's all that I wanted / But you're the one that I adore / there's two things I know for sure / I love him / but I'll always love you more."

"I think we've been in here long enough, so why don't we get out?" Winter says.

"Fine. Just don't try anything funny again!"

Winter watches as she gets out of the tub and dries off. She stays in the tub herself even after her friend takes all of her belongings and leaves the bathroom. She leans back and sighs, letting herself get lost in thought.

"Winter! I thought we were getting out!" Her friend calls out from another room in the apartment.

"Yeah, I'm comin'!"

Winter gets up and drains the water, then grabs an extra towel from underneath the sink and wraps it around herself. She walks out into the living room to find her friend already dressed and making tea.

"Wanna watch a movie with me? You can pick it." Winter asks.

She replies without looking up.

"Get dressed, and I'll gladly watch a movie with you."

Winter smirks and heads to her room to get dressed. She found out something very interesting about her childhood friend and there's no way she can go on without teasing her about it, at least for a little while.

Masterlist

[flowers-of-io]

This is an interesting point!

I like the idea that the Oryx rez plot was an independent decision by the Lucent Brood despairing and lost after the loss of leadership (and it wouldn't be the first time this happened, pointing at Shadowkeep) almost as much as that it had been Sav's scheme all along. The Brood is confused and lacks guidance and the last time they tried to go on the offensive against Guardians (in Risen) the whole ploy was thwarted and the generals were all killed. I imagine they could reach for extreme measures, maybe even going behind Immaru's back about it, because lol he hasn't been able to get the Queen back for the past year+.

On the topic of the balance of power -- you're right, technically. Oryx would be a leader figure to an insane extent of popularity even without his memories. But here I think it's important to take into account whose plot this whole endeavour we believe has been, because while he's the King, he would also be a malleable kinderguardian without memories, which makes for a great puppet leader with someone else pulling the strings and controlling what information about his past he's receiving.

If it's the Brood (or a fraction of it) acting independently: it would make complete sense for them to make Oryx their leader and reason to split from Sav and create a third faction, OR kick Immaru out and crown Oryx as the King or the Lucent Brood. Old habits die hard, and the times are desperate.

If it's Savathûn/Immaru: she's a schemer, and he is really smart. Having Oryx on their side and in their control would be an INSANE asset against Xivu, putting her power (and the entire philosophy of the Deep-affiliated Hive) into question, and potentially drawing some of her forces over the barricade to the other side. Not to mention the psychological warfare of causing her to absolutely lose her shit. This would be, I argue, a masterstroke, as long as Oryx remains under their control and is convinced serving the Sky and not the Deep is what is the right thing to do (and maybe learns the truth about the syzygy, PLEASE someone show this poor man that memory).

And yes, it would be just further spitting on his grave. But I think this is the bone of contention between Sav and Xivu, and what Xivu is tortured by. She can't have him back if she wants to heed his will. There's a dungeon dialogue where she disputes this with herself, argues that trying to heretically revive him won't be heresy if it works because it will have defeated his legacy, and if not then his legacy will come unto them. Aiat, aiat. She is clearly being torn apart by this dilemma, because she misses him, but she still believes the Logic and the truth of his legacy. Because if the Logic and his legacy are false... then he died for nothing. It was all for nothing.

Savathûn, I think, has moved past that.

She has chosen her side. I NEED to reach for Hawkmoon here:

I am reminded of my home. I am reminded of the warmth of the sun and the embrace of my family. I am reminded of my father's face. I am reminded of everyone I betrayed. All the blood spilled in the name of immortality. The warmth of the sun burns me with its memory.

What is this feeling?

I do not want it.

(SEE HOW THESE ARE THE EXACT WORDS XIVU SAYS DURING HER LAST VISIT TO ORYX'S GRAVE?)

She's seen through the lies of the Deep. She knows all of the Logic has been a lie, and thus that Oryx really did die for nothing, and that the only way for her and the Hive to survive is a different path. She's gone so far already. She's given up everything, including Xivu Arath, to bring forth this change. I imagine that in her eyes, transgressing Oryx's wishes to leave him where he'd lie once he was dead is a small sacrifice.

Risen again, resplendent in the Sky, he would be an enormous asset. And she would have him back. And I think, I truly do, that she does not want to destroy Xivu Arath. Before her deworming ritual in Lost she mourned the impending severing of their connection and said she cared for her. "It might surprise you to hear, but everything my siblings and I have done has been for each other." And what better way to bring Xivu back to her, into the Light, than with the promise that they could be all together again?

today i feel some way about xivu raging and wailing in grief about oryx and how sav had spit on his legacy, vs. sav just quietly holding a ritual to bring him back without informing anyone

[zaraomarrogers]

Always and Forever - 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Sexual content, minors do not interact

word count: 2301

~*~

PART 2

Y/n put Malcolm in the baby seat, fastening the belt she kissed on his cheek. She’d been crazy busy throughout the month managing and planning the Fall collection showcase. It was Wanda’s first time launching her collection in a mainstream fashion industry.

Wanda Maximoff- cheerful, quick witted, intelligent and extremely protective of Y/n and Malcolm, was the step- sister who was also a best friend to Y/n.  Wanda was just like her mother, warm and welcoming, full of love and compassion. She found a sibling and a friend in Y/n. Wanda was allowed with Y/n in labor room and she was the first one taking Malcolm in her arms before doctors took him away for mother and baby skin to skin contact.

“You good, baby?” Y/n asked, looking at Malcolm in the rear view.

“Yes Mama. When reach Wan Wan?” Malcolm asked mouth full of flavored yogurt.

“In few minutes, Mal. You will have to spend some time with Lily, while Mama’s gonna finish her work. Okay baby?”

“How wong work Mama?”

“It’s going to take time Mal, but mama will come see you okay? Be nice to Lily please.”

“Okay mama, wuv you.”

“I love you too Mal, so so much.”

 The house of blues Boston was illuminated with lights, sound of music blaring from the speakers. Y/n parked the car in the parking spot. She was little late already, taking out Malcolm she hold his right hand in her left while carrying his bag and her purse in right hand she walked into the place. She spotted Lily not so far from the changing rooms, she handed Malcolm to her along with his bag. A kiss and few reminders later, she was walking into the main room where all the models were getting ready. She glanced over checking everything and headed towards the bar section of this huge place. She knew bar was the only place she’d find Wanda and Pepper. Both of them had this nervous habit to have few beers before the show.

 “My god! Get a grip you two.” Y/n exclaimed taking a seat beside Wanda. “I’m the one walking down the ramp.” She signaled the bar tender for a drink.

“I am so excited. You know I’ve designed the dress especially for you. You’re gonna be the sexiest mama tonight.” Wanda squealed from happiness.

“Aha, I’ve seen that dress and it’s all kind of sexy, Y/n.” Pepper said gulping down the beer.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she took a sip from her whiskey. Only reason she agreed to walk the ramp was Wanda. She just couldn’t say no to her.

“I’m sure that guy from the HR will lose his balls.” Wanda laughed out loud. “You are going to be sensational Y/n/n.”

“C’mon guys! We need to stay focused. Pepper, is your husband coming?” Y/n asked changing the subject.

“You mean my ex- husband?”  

“No, I mean your husband because you’re still not divorced yet.”

“Ugghhh….. I don’t know.” Pepper groaned.

“We have booked the most expensive place in Boston. Tony’s presence will attract the media and we need media’s attention other than the sponsored coverage.” Y/n checked something in her phone. They stood up and headed towards the changing rooms where all the models were.

The show was to start in thirty minutes and everything was meticulously organized, all credit to Y/n, she was the driving force behind the whole showcase.

Wanda took out the dress wrapped in a plastic bag and handed to Y/n. “Open it.” Wanda said with a smile. As Y/n unzip the bag to have a look at the dress, her eyes went wide in astonishment.

“Oh.my.god!!! this is so beautiful….” She exclaimed in joy.

It was a floor length evening gown in maroon color. It had spaghetti strap with deep neck and backless back with a side slit. It was the sexiest most prestigious dress Y/n had seen in her entire life. Wanda had outdone herself with yet another masterpiece that it was and she made it especially for her. Y/n felt tears in her eyes, she was overwhelmed by the gesture and it wasn’t the first time. Wanda hugged her tight seeing her sister’s red eyes.

“Hey c’mon Y/n/n…” she whispered. “I want the world to know that my sister is the hottest mama out there.” Both of them laughed heartily in each others embrace.

Pepper awed from behind and ushered Y/n in the changing rooms to get ready. While Y/n was inside the changing room, Wanda called Bucky. Her fiancé, her one great love.

“Where are you?” Wanda asked through the call.

“Right behind you.” She felt an arm around her waist and a warm breath against her ear. She turned around in his arms and smiled sweetly at him. Bucky leaned in to kiss her softly.

“I missed you.” He said into the kiss. Wanda laughed, “You saw me this morning.”

“It’s been nine hours, love.” He tried to steal another kiss but Pepper came in from behind.

“C’mon guys! I’m gonna take your girl away, you can take the seat Bucky in the hall. The show will start in twenty minutes. Where is everyone…” Pepper’s nerves started to appear, Wanda laughed and shooed Bucky off towards the main hall. Everything had been in perfect order, Y/n’s hard work was evident in the every minor detail. She had a team of equally brilliant and capable people but it was her meticulous nature that outshined everything and everyone.

  ~*~

 Steve parked his car in the parking lot. The House of Blues Boston was lighted up and people from the fashion industry were started pouring in. He made his entrance from the main door. He had been trying to call Pepper’s assistant but couldn’t reach the person. He walked along the corridor praising all the work that had been done. He entered the main hall, the security needed to see the pass that Steve didn’t have, instead he showed them his business card and Tony’s reference. In a second, he was escorted to the VIP section of the hall where only officials were allowed. He was there for barely ten minutes when Pepper came in, dispiriting that Tony wasn’t here. Steve’s austere demeanor and Tony’s absence put Pepper in a bad mood. She excused herself immediately not wanting to engage in any courtesy.

 As the fashion show ushered in, Steve was bored to death. Bucky told him he was busy with some work thing so they planned to meet next day. He wanted to get out of there and was almost at the exit when the announcement for the show stopper occurred and Steve stopped in his tracks.

 Y/n Carter….

 Was he hallucinating?

 No…

 He wasn’t even drunk.

 Was she his Y/n?

 He walked back few steps in and forgot to breathe. In the spotlight Y/n was walking elegantly in a beautiful evening gown, accentuating her curves perfectly. Her boobs were little fuller now, everything about her radiates class, charisma and majestic. She was looking exquisite, her smile was the same as he remembered, maybe even more beautiful. She was still the most stunning woman in Steve’s eyes. He wanted to run to her, took her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He wanted to sit in her feet and begged for forgiveness. He simply wanted to feel her and see if she was even real.

A sound of loud applause brought Steve out of his misery. He shifted on his feet, unable to take a step in Y/n’s direction. While Wanda was speaking to a number of designers and media people, a young woman came to Y/n and whispered something in her ear and it took her a minute to excuse herself from the sea of people to went on a separate way where only staff was allowed. Steve tried to follow her, with heels on Y/n was walking in quite a speed. Steve kept walking behind her at a distance where she wouldn’t know someone’s presence. She crossed the corridor and entered in the open area.

“Mama you back.” Malcolm squealed and ran towards her. Y/n easily crouched down and took him in her arms.

Steve froze when he saw Y/n holding a little kid in her arms. He felt like his heart would stop beating and he'd die in suffocation.

   Had she moved on?

   He clearly heard the kid calling her mama, did that mean she got married and had a baby? Steve wanted the earth to swallow him alive. He'd never been in such pain like he was right now. The idea of her with another man, having a family was a slow painfull death for him. In that moment, he needed his Ma, so that he could cry in her embrace. He wanted her to wake him up from this nightmare. He was struggling to breathe when from a distance he heard something he wasn't ready to hear.

 "Mama, i's daddy, see daddy." Malcolm had seen Steve and now he was pointing towards him. Wriggled out of Y/n's hold he ran towards Steve.

 “He… photo daddy, mama.” Malcolm wriggled out of Y/n’s arms and ran towards Steve. Steve didn’t realize that he came right into the view of the little kid. Steve saw him coming towards him.

 Why was this kid running towards him? Steve thought and looked behind to see if there was someone but there wasn’t anyone except for him, Y/n and Malcolm.

 “Daddy…” Malcolm came to stop right before the very eyes of him. Looking like an angel, his face was full of innocence and happiness. Steve felt a harrowing pain in his heart. This little kid has the same blue eyes just as his own. The dark blonde silky hair, same nose and same lips, the little boy was the exact replica of him and Steve left with no doubt but to believe that Malcolm was his. His baby, his blood, his son. And then there was this radiant smile on his baby’s face that he inherited from his mama. The same smile Steve fell in love with, Y/n’s cheerful smile was one of the many things he got enthralled with. He hunkered down and hold Malcolm in his arms, nuzzling his face in little boy’s neck. He knew he’d scare the little boy away if he cry too much but it was like he didn’t have control over his emotions.

 “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…. I’m sorry….” He kept chanting in Malcolm’s neck.

 “Why cwy, daddy?” Malcolm tried to break his grip. “Why sad?”

 Steve didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything, he just looked in Y/n’s direction and saw her looking straight into his eyes.

   Her eyes were dispassionate….

  Y/n was aghasted when Malcolm squirmed out of her arms and ran towards what he thought was his dad. She had shown him his dad’s pictures. She was so angry at Steve but she couldn’t take away Malcolm’s right to know his father. All her life, she had missed her dad’s presence while growing up so she knew both parents are equally important for a child. She only got to meet her dad on occasions or ceremonies, her mother Eleanor had a full custody of her and Peggy. When she turned sixteen, Steve took her to meet her dad for the first time in years and ever since that she made it a routine to visit him every other weekend. After graduating high school, she even attended her dad’s wedding.

 When Malcolm turned one, she started showing him Steve’s pictures so he would know his father. She couldn’t let her anger, heartbreak and pain be the reason to snatch her son’s right to know his father. So when she turned around and saw Steve, she felt betrayed all over again. She wanted to slap him on the face but then she saw Steve red and tear-stricken face. He was holding Malcolm like his life was dependent on the very hold of his arms around their son. She took robotic steps in Steve’s direction, her heart was breaking in every step. The events of the night she left New York City were flashing before her eyes.

  “You want jevvy beans, daddy?” Y/n saw Malcolm cupping his dad’s face in his small hands.

 “Daddy, no cwy. Daddy bwave boy.” Malcolm kissed Steve’s forehead.

 “Malcolm…” Y/n called.

“Mama, why Daddy Cwying? Why sad?”

 “I don’t know, sweetheart.” Her tone was colder than she intended when she said, “He must have done something wrong.”

 Steve stood up, his eyes were red and puffy. He had grown a beard, Y/n noticed. He was still very handsome like she knew all those years ago but the bags underneath his eyes were new.

 “Why did you hide my son from me?” rage was seething through Steve’s voice.

 “Excuse me?” Y/n scoffed.

 “My son knows who you are, isn’t that enough for you?”

 Steve was dumb founded for a moment, anger he felt for a bit was dissipated in air. It was hard for him to believe the person standing before him was Y/n, full of bitterness and bizarreness. She was the same Y/n he fell in love with. Hell, he was still very much in love with her now even more if that was even possible. She was the mother of his child, a child he had met moments ago. He was swamped with emotions. He enveloped her in his arms in a bone crushing hug.

 “I’ve missed you, Y/n/n…. I’ve missed you so much.”

 Moments later, Y/n got herself freed from Steve’s tight embrace, without letting Malcolm notice. She was shaken as much as Steve was but both of them were going through different emotions. While Y/n was feeling dismal and betrayed, Steve was hopeful to fix what he had destroyed.

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Love Conquers All

Zuko x Male Reader

Word Count: 1856

-------------

Y/n could understand where Zuko was coming from, but he knew he wouldn't be surprised if it didn't go as well as he had perhaps envisioned.

It was all very well and good that he had finally found his way, but he had hurt the Avatars group a fair bit before finding his way. Y/n also knew that as someone who had been a part of Zuko's attempts to hurt them, he had no leg to stand on in helping smooth the situation over. He hadn't been as single-minded in his focus on capturing the Avatar, but he had only cared because Zuko cared.

He didn't think that would matter to them, but then, Y/n didn't particularly care one way or the other how they felt about him. The only person who mattered to him was Zuko. Well, and Iroh, but that was a given of anyone who had met the calm old man.

When they made it to the kids campsite Y/n hung back, staying by the exit. It wasn't that he didn't trust them not to ambush him and Zuko, oh wait, it was that. Never mind.

Y/n watched the exchange carefully. He could feel it in the air mere seconds before she struck.

Faster than their eyes could follow, Y/n moved. By the time that everyone had caught up with the events, Y/n was standing in front of Zuko, sheathing his sword after having deflected Katara's water whip.

Silence reigned for a single heartbeat. Then Katara shrieked in outrage.

"How dare you!"

Y/n was sure she was still speaking, but he had a habit of being selectively deaf when it most benefited him.

And then, with almost no warning she was throwing water at him with increasingly wild movements.

It was no match for Y/n's technique.

It wasn't common knowledge, in fact, he had hidden it for most of his life, but Y/n was an airbender.

Yeah, literally the biggest lie in their world was that there were no more airbenders. The Air Nomads had had the practice of removing non-benders from their society and giving them to the other kingdoms.

What they didn't know was that all it took was for the right circumstances to happen and suddenly you had airbenders in the descendants of those non-benders.

It didn't change much ultimately, they were so few that they wouldn't ever be considered a threat to anyone, not that the Air Nomads had been when the Fire Nation had attacked them a hundred years ago.

What it all came down to, was a confused child suddenly developing powers that no one was able to control anymore.

Luckily for Y/n, the only person who had been around the first time he had bended was Zuko. As secrets tend to do, it had bound the two closer together than anyone would have thought ever since that day.

It was a loyalty that had seen Y/n stowing away on the ship Zuko had been banished on, and one that had been returned by Zuko had never once considered that the apparently Fire Nation child could be the reborn Avatar.

What it came down to, was that Katara was having no luck besting Y/n. Much as he wanted to put her in her place properly, Y/n knew that what they were trying to accomplish here would be hurt by that. From the looks of things though, they might have lost that chance.

Y/n stayed on the defensive, letting her tire herself out instead of outright attacking. He was worried about the look the Avatar was giving him though. That wide eyed expression couldn't mean anything good for his secret. He had always known that it would come out eventually, but he had hoped it would last longer than this dammit!

"Katara stop!"

The kid was trying to get in between then now, but the water tribe girl was apparently past the point of caring. She was just not backing down.

"Wait, I wanna talk to him!"

"No! They need to get out of here and never come back!"

Y/n was sure that her words might have been more intimidating if she weren't so clearly out of her league. He decided to ignore the voice in the back of his head that whispered that if he had used even half of his abilities properly before this they might have caught the Avatar long ago.

The element of surprise couldn't be taken for granted after all, and judging from the kid's reaction just now, all they would have had to do was show him Y/n's powers and he probably would have stayed on the ship that first day.

Y/n pulled himself out of his thoughts with a shrug. It was a bit late for that right now.

The Avatar had managed to get between Y/n and Katara, and seemed to be trying to talk her down from her rage. Y/n watched, only mildly interested. This wasn't how he had thought today would go.

He turned to Zuko, who was still standing behind him.

"Are you okay?"

He just looked Y/n over, head to toe looking for injuries.

"I'm fine, but are you sure it was a good idea to show them that? I could have taken a few hits. I've had worse before, you know that."

Y/n clenched his jaw at the reminder.

"I know. I'm sorry. You know how I feel about you willingly putting yourself in danger though. You didn't even try to defend yourself. Don't think I didn't spot that."

Y/n leveled a flat stare at Zuko.

He at least had the good grace to blush in shame and hide behind his fringe.

Y/n turned back to the group of kids gathered in front of them.

He gave them his best blank stare. He had nothing more to say to them, this was about Zuko teaching the Avatar firebending after all.

Besides, he was sure that anything he said would be twisted around and spat back at him by the water tribe girl.

"You're an airbender!"

Y/n refused to give up his secret that easily.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The little blind girl perked up.

"You're lying. You are an airbender? I thought they were all wiped out."

Y/n stubbornly refused to respond. He could see the water tribe girl's eye narrow at his silence. She was just about to explode on him again when Y/n felt a shift in the air. Less than a second later he felt Zuko's hand on his shoulder.

He slumped slightly. Damn Zuko's soft heart.

"Yes. I can bend air."

The shout of pure joy that the Avatar let out was enough to make Y/n feel slightly guilty about keeping it from him the whole time he had been after him.

"I'm not alone! There must be more, right? Some of the monks survived and hid right? Please tell me!"

Man, this kid was excitable, and as happy as he was, Y/n didn't want to be the one to tell him that he was wrong. He couldn't take the soft option of letting Zuko tell him though, they would probably turn on the both of them and Zuko wouldn't be able to fulfill his destiny.

"No."

"No you're not going to tell him?"

That girl was really starting to get on Y/n's nerves.

"No, they didn't survive."

That shut her up.

It also made the kid tear up, but there was no point building a lie just to make him feel better in this moment. That would be more cruel than the truth.

"The only reason that I exist right now is because of your ancestors though. Your people had a practice of testing their babies for airbending potential."

The Avatar was nodding along. Good, this wouldn't be a surprise to him.

"Well, when they showed to be non-benders your people gave them away. They were sent off to the other kingdoms, not welcome in, nor considered to be, a part of the Air Nomads."

"Air Nomads are airbenders, so if they aren't airbenders they aren't Air Nomads. That's just the way things are."

Y/n grit his teeth. It was an old hurt, but it still stung. He pulled in a deep breath and the only thing that stopped him from screaming about the injustice of it all was Zuko's hand that was still on his shoulder lending him the strength to continue.

"Your people were wrong. Occasionally their methods would be wrong, and they would let a bender slip away into another kingdom. But more than that, its in our blood, in the thing that makes us who we are. When enough of your ancestors were born from the Air Nomads, no matter whether they could bend themselves or not, you have the possibility to end up as a bender."

The Avatar's jaw was hanging open as he stared in horror at Y/n.

"But, they couldn't possibly have known that! If they had, maybe they wouldn't have done what they did."

Y/n's eyes shone with a dark light. This was something he would ultimately have to give up, but it was worth planting the seed if he could.

"So your saying that the only possible use non-benders have is the possibility of benders being born from them?"

The Avatar stopped cold and stared at Y/n in horror.

"What? No! Of course not!"

"Then what? You had no problem with the idea that they would be thrown away like yesterday's garbage up until now. The only thing that's changed is this piece of information."

Y/n pulled back as he saw the tears form in the Avatar's eyes.

"Think on that for a while. You have a non-bender in your group. Do you consider him to be useless?"

The kids all looked like they had been hit over the head.

Y/n was sure that this would be the end of their interaction for the day.

"We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe then we can talk without resorting to violence."

He turned back to Katara who looked like she was getting ready to unleash whatever thoughts had been happening in that head of hers.

"Before you put your foot in it, consider this. We have two things you want. One you desperately need, the other, something you desperately want. Have a good night."

Zuko turned and walked back the way they had come, with Y/n bringing up the rear. He didn't trust them not to attack them from behind.

Y/n hoped that with the reminder that they needed Zuko to teach the Avatar firebending, they would be more open to meeting the next day. If that weren't enough, then there was the added bonus of Y/n being the only other airbender that they knew. He was sure that the Avatar wouldn't be able to resist the pull to be around someone who was like him for long.

Either way, they still had a long way to go to convince them that they didn't want to hurt them and that this wasn't a trap.

'Oh well,' Y/n thought as he lay sleepily beside their fire, 'things always look better in the morning.'

[nutterzebutters]

I'd also like to remind everyone that pure vanilla often has a habit of taking the responsibilities that aren't necessarily his to deal with- because he wants to heal pains. Painting him as this savior complex-esqu ink blot on cookie lore is about the least accurate version of pure vanilla you could come up with. Pure vanilla has what you can label as a martyr complex and an inferiority complex, and displays symptoms of deep depression, anxiety, and with beast yeasts second episode, a euphemism for invasive thoughts thanks to non other than shadow milk- often a symptom of OCD. This is coming from a purely studied field pov. When I say that people who typically hate on a character like pure vanilla (who is surprisingly a very accurate portrayal of what too much responsibility and unchecked mental illness does to you as a person) I notice they don't usually take kindly to those kinds of ppl irl, and I'd have to wonder how they handle a confrontation of their own behaviors.

It's known that devsis often assassinates his character in the name of needing gingerbrave to be the main character/protagonist, and for that we have to live with it, but pure vanilla really IS a victim. I even have a post elaborating on my point here. Nobody is "victimizing" him, he lost his kingdom and had to run through the halls covered in jam and cookie bits before the big impact, we often forget that this is the equivalent of our blood and limbs, hearing his soldiers and people cry out for him to hurry. Not everyone survived and the English version makes a good job of making it seem like they all did, they did not. He saw his cookies crumbling. Mostly cookies in the castle could get in the airship to later become the republic, and those Lucky to get out in the vanilla kingdom city eventually settled in travelers rest- all desperately wishing to go home, as they still considered the kingdom their true domain.

Highlighting golden cheese and his kingdom reaction, it's very clear that pure vanilla may have new "subjects" now that the raisin villagers moved in- but this does not change that for years he thought the blood of his people was on his hands. Never did he once blame the one cookie who started the siege, he didn't blame the person who created the cake armies and killed soldiers, did away with architecture, and now wants him dead. No blame was placed on the one cookie he should have trusted with his kingdom should anything happen to him, who was now destroying it instead. Not once did he fight dark enchantresses accusations of calling him a hypocrite (when she herself did all the actions she named, only reflecting on to him what she did. It was never pure vanilla and he STILL ACCEPTED IT)

This cookie was given a whole 12 trials for his soul jam, it's very clear that whatever secret he learned at the end of it is big, or else they wouldn't have emphasized that it was unknown. This is also the same cookie who rallied the rest of the ancients to end the very wars that we now know Shadow milk cookie started- with bigger spell capabilities than Lily; or else Shadow milk would have never tried to get him to "show his (true) strength" and cut down the silver tree. For all we know, this cookie is terrified of himself and his power, for all we know this cookie has a legit reason to pull back and fly under the radar other than being "spineless" like so many claim. He's not a wet blanket for comfort, he is realistically a tragic character who continues to try and smile and save face for others while he actively spirals, I truly do not know how you miss that.

This Cookie legit does not have a value on his own life, and the war did not cause that. Please note dear cookie runners, his behavior can be labeled as passively suicidal in the psychological field because of the willingness to literally die for anyone else but himself and not putting as much effort into protecting himself as he would others. Not caring about self preservation out of value, but only ever caring for it because he knows it would end bad for others (either because he's an ancient and he has a responsibility, or because he knows his soul jam in the wrong hands would end terribly for the world-) remember guys this soul jam in particular is the most elusive not only by evidence of clotted creams remarks, but 12 whole trials and DEs boner for it and ONLY IT to "mold the world to my image" should say smth. This is a glass box kind of situation.

The admission of illness aren't just thrown in there as silly character quirks- no. Devsis is aware and has acknowledged his poor mental state through interacting with fans and within the story. Op, I hope whatever anger you have you are working through, but lore, detail, and story are stacked against you on this one.

Can you please rant to me about how much you hate GingerBrave smut and Pure Vanilla? I hate GingerBrave smut too

OML YES PLEASE. For starters, it's clear that pure vanilla cannot handle his own problems alone and I'm honestly sick of people not talking about it, people be saying that he's one of the strongest ancients but I'm not seeing it, it's no shit people see him as a TWINK because he fucking acts like one, He can't face his own problems and relies on others to do so, like white lily with shadow milk cookie and GingerBrave for the cookie of darkness + dark enchantress cookie, it's also clear he gives no shits about his own people nor about his own fucking family, let's talk about how his youngest descendant was left in a forest to fucking die by his own family and pure vanilla didn't even know, also, you get how pure vanilla is ONLY involving GingerBrave? Talking about taking him to war and everything? Like what the fuck makes him think it's okay? Even if GingerBrave wants this, why the fuck would he still do it?! GingerBrave is a three year old in a twelve year olds body, and also I'm pretty damn sure GingerBrave was being sent into this, the others were given a choice and he couldn't even be there for his friend. If he had just heard her out he would've prevented this, GingerBrave had no reason at all to be thrown in this, and also im sick of people victimizing him, like "ohh poor pure vanilla" or "pure vanilla is a good guy!" Even if he regretted his past mistakes, he is clearly training GingerBrave to be his tool only to toss him out when he's done, he doesn't care about GingerBrave or anybody that isn't himself, I'd actually argue he's worse than dark enchantress cookie, pure vanilla is dumb and that's saying a lot for the supposed ancient of wisdom, then when I say this to his fans about why I don't like him they want to get all mad and shit, pure vanilla cookie failed to represent and lead his people which was why the raisin village was being invaded by waffle bots and the vanilla kingdom became timeless and over taken by DE, I'm surprised everyone forgave him after everything he did, it's like he has everyone wrapped around his finger, in my opinion pure vanilla is the WEAKEST ancient I ever fucking seen, at least the other ancients can handle their own fucking problems and not send a literal child into this, pure vanilla is supposed to be this peace maker and voice of reason but I feel like people are glorifying him way too much. Pure vanilla lacks general remorse and emotion towards his people and those around him. Better yet, I'm sick of people making pure vanilla cookie seem like a father figure for GingerBrave, like dark cacao or dark Choco or the other ancients I can see that but pure vanilla?

And as for GingerBrave smut, I fucking hate it, people are generally sick in the head, especially the bitches who would age him up to make it okay, like when will they learn that it isn't fucking okay, people would proship this boy, draw him pregnant and even make jokes of the one ad, if it was someone like sorbet shark cookie or sherbet cookie, there would be absolute out rage, but the minute it's GingerBrave all of a sudden it doesn't matter. People had pair GingerBrave up with everyone, his fucking brother included, I swear if it was some other character there would be actual cancelations. When it comes to other characters being proshipped, they wanna scream, get angry, start an actual outrage, rant on how their minors but the minute it's GingerBrave who is one of the most shipped fucking characters is the victim of this, people wanna make jokes or not care, it's actually hard to find people who would actually act out on proshippers who'd proship GingerBrave to no end, like people would do it for cream puff, people would do it for wizard cookie, hell people will do it for strawberry crepe cookie but the minute it's GingerBrave it's fucking SILENCE. Like not a word, NOTHING. I hate how people turn a blind eye on GingerBrave, hell I swear the only reason people are even talking about it is because their favorite adult cookie is in it, hell some people would say they like it when it comes to GingerBrave, you notice how they would age GingerBrave up in some aus to ship him with adults, even making some rape him it's wrong and fucking nasty but people are acting like it's okay because it's fucking GingerBrave.

[linkspooky]

The Hands that Will Save the League

In chapter 321 we're reminded once again of the reoccurring motif of hands reaching out to save someone in need, especially with the double spread close-up of Iida's hands reaching for Deku's hands. I couldn't help but think how this could apply to the league of villains. Hand symbolism has always been associated with Shigaraki (duh), both in the fact that his hands destroy everything they touched, and also his reason for being a villain stems from the fact that not a single hand reached out to save him that day. However, we've also had another character in the league with hands drawn up close and personal reaching out to save the others: spinner.

1. Just an Empty Cosplayer

I'm not the first one to make this observation. @codenamesazanka pointed this out long before me, especially in regards to Spinner's importance to the league, but basically, Spinner's role is that despite being a teenage mutant ninja turtle he's also the everyman of the league. He's not connected to the main conflict of the story by bloodline or legacy, the way Shigaraki, Dabi, and Compress are. He's not someone with an incredibly powerful or deviant quirk like Twice or Toga. He is a victim, but he doesn't have the elaborate villain backstories of Twice, Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga.

He literally is just some guy with a lizard quirk. He has the weakest quirk in the league and the weakest reason for why he joined the league. Spinner faces societal abuse because of his quirk, but what spurred him to action was seeing Stain appear on TV, and a desire to be a less empty person than he was before. Spinner was pushed, he was rejected by society, but I would say as an inverse to the league who are driven by extraordinary circumstances, Spinner is basically an every man who drives himself to keep up with the rest of the league despite seemingly lacking everything "special" they have.

And I believe this every man quality, and this drive Spinner has is what's going to be the key to piecing the league back together. It's because Spinner sees himself as so far behind the rest of the league, and so much less special than they are, that he's driven to try to understand them.

Not only is Spinner a member who has tried to understand every member of the league in one way or another, Spinner is also someone who similiar to Sihgaraki foils every single character in the league despite just being an everyman.

2. Spinner and Toga

While Spinner and Toga may not have the same level of development to their interactions as Twice and Toga, Spinner reaches out to her once but not twice, and there are a lot of parallels you can draw between the characters.

Both Spinner and Toga joined the league for the same reason, an empty admiration for Stain, without really caring about Stain's ideals. Toga admires Stain because he's covered in blood and fighting for something and she wants to become more like the people she admires, Spinner because he saw himself as pathetic for hiding in his room all day and when he saw Stain taking a stand trying to change the whole world on his own he wanted to become that way too. Which means both of them have a tendency to want to become more like the people they admire, because their own sense of personal identity is so weak.

Himiko and Spinner both define themselves by the way society has rejected them. Spinner has internalized the idea that he's an empty person who can't accomplish anything on his own, every terrible thing other people said about him due to his heteromorph quirk he accepted it. At the same time, Toga was somebody born with a "dangerous quirk" who was told to repress it and then did that living under a fake identity as a normal school girl that would please her parents and the people around her for as long as she could. Both Toga and Spinner are taught by the society around them to be self-loathing and to repress themselves because of their quirks. They're also characters who are both defined by a desire for release.

When Spinner asks if Toga still wants to be in the league because of Stain and she responds, Now I wanna become everyone I love. Spinner comments, "You're so free."

Spinner and Toga both claim they joined the league because of love for another person, they both loved and admired some aspect of Stain, but their real reason for joining, or at least the reason they stay is that deep down both of them desire the freedom to be themselves. Toga wrapping her desires up in language like love for other people, and wanting to become them, is because deep down she believes because of her quirk there's no one who would accept her for herself, as the normal girl she believes she is, no one will let her live as Toga thus she tries to become other people. It's the same for Spinner, who believes he can't be anything other than the Lizard Freak, so he too tries to dress himself up and become a Stain Cosplayer. It's only through the league's acceptance that Toga and Spinner slowly begin to learn that they are good enough on their own, just as themselves, and their priorities begin to shift.

3. Spinner and Twice

Twice and Spinner have several backstory parallels already. They are both characters affected by poverty, Spinner lived in a backwater town plagued by old views of heteromorph quirks, Twice lost his parents and began working to support himself at a young age before becoming homeless. Spinner and Twice were also both labeled in a way that stuck with them, after Twice got a criminal charge in an accident on his permanent record he couldn't find another job after being labeled deviant. Spinner was labeled as a deviant because of his quirk and the idea that he's a lizard freak has always stuck with him the same way that Twice has internalized the idea that "bad people don't get saved."

They also both chose to isolate themselves because of the circumstances they faced. Twice's first response to homelessness was to decide to never trust anybody but himself, and he became a criminal who pulled off heists with only clones of himself as team members until that stopped working for him. Spinner's response was also to shut himself away in his room and become a NEET. They both cut themselves off to the society that labeled them as unacceptable, but in the process they also cut themselves off from other people and became unable to trust others.

While they have major backstory parallels, I believe the greatest parallel between them is going to be that Spinner will inherit that role that Twice had for the league. While Shigaraki is the leader, Twice more than anybody else believed the League to be a family, and encouraged everyone to be friendly with one another.

It's Twice more than anyone else who emphasizes the bond of the league, that they're all strays, that they need to take care of each other and save each other. It's Twice who urges Shigaraki to save Giran because he's one of them. He makes the unspoken bond of the league as a group of miscreants into a spoken one, because Twice wants those things, he's well aware of the fact that he wants trust and acceptance and came to the league to find those things. This is the greatest thing that ties Spinner and Twice's characters together, because they both view themselves as worthless, they define themselves by how they help the other members of the league.

Twice's death so far isn't something that has been really capitalized on by the plot, Hawks has yet to face consequences, we haven't gotten to see much of the league's reaction because they were scattered soon afterwards. However, if Twice's death is going to cause development eventually I believe it will be in the vacuum in the league created now that Twice is gone. There is no longer someone who is urging all of them to be together. Twice's death causes most of the league to become less stable. Toga goes on a killing spree, Dabi attacks Hawks, Compress tries to kill himself in a heroic sacrifice, Shigaraki hasn't gotten the chance to react yet but he's also gotten worse considering he's currently possessed. You could even say that Twice's death has caused other characters to double down on their worst habits.

Dabi's worst habit is that he acts separately from the league and refuses to participate in the group dynamic, believing himself to be a solo avenger. Dabi not trusting or telling the league what he was planning on doing with Hawks, as a consequence of his decision to play solo avenger, caused Twice to trust Hawks which led to his death. Hawks was the one who killed him but Dabi played a part, and when Twice dies Dabi obviously reacts to it, but also his decision is to double down on his bad habit, insisting he's only using the league and he doesn't care about the rest of the group. Toga also doubles down on her bad habit, she runs away from the rest of the league and insists she's only doing this for the freedom to do whatever she pleases, not because you know Twice got killed right in front of her. Compress's arc is less pronounced, but he also does, in fact, try to kill himself in a grand heroic sacrifice for the rest of the league.

When twice dies the league begins to fall apart and everyone acts on their individual worst flaws, ignoring that they were always stronger together as a group. However, there is still one person who wanted the exact same thing Twice did, to be trusted, to belong to a group. This is most likely the role that Spinner is going to grow to, someone who is trusted by everyone in the group.

Notably, when Toga is about to run away it's Spinner who reminds her that the league is a place for them to come back to. Toga who was probably the closest to Twice and spiraling the worst because of his death, and Toga and Twice's friendship was the first time we really saw how much of a "bond" the league had formed with one another, because in the camp arc they barely cooperated, only begrudgingly. It's Spinner who who emphasizes that even though everyone in the league is doing this for individualism "doing what they want" that they are also together as a group. Spinner is set to inherit Twice's role as the heart, because one he tries to understand other people in the league making the effort to reach out, and two Spinner is aware of what he wants just like Twice he wants to be trusted by the rest of the group.

4. Spinner and Dabi

This one is a little bit harder because Dabi's character arc really hasn't started yet. We have just now gotten to the reveal of who he is and what his motivations are, after it being a mystery for so long. However unlike the rest of the league, we haven't really seen how Dabi has reacted and changed by becoming a part of the group. Even if his motivation isn't "I'm only using them" and deep down he really does care, I don't think he's even realized yet that he does care or that he's not just using them. Dabi still believes himself to be alone, and therefore he's still isolated from the rest of the league and flying his revenge quest solo even though he's really not.

In that case, the biggest parallel between Spinner and Dabi is that they both had to be won over by the league. They both joined because of admiration for Stain, probably because Dabi genuinely believed in Stain's ideals of taking down impure heroes because it fit his own agenda so well, whereas Spinner is a self-proclaimed empty cosplayer.

Spinner, however, has already gone through an arc where he was dissatisfied with his reasons for joining the league and didn't believe he belonged with the rest of the group. He didn't have anything to love like Toga. He didn't know yet he wanted friends he could trust like Twice already did. He doesn't have a strong backstory motivation like Compress, or Dabi or even knows what he wants out of society. However, the entirety of MVA is Spinner letting himself be changed because of his interaction with the group.

Spinner failed at life, his quirk is worthless and only good for sticking to walls. He also internalized the idea that he himself was a failure, and locked himself inside believing he couldn't accomplish anything on his own. Spinner says he has nothing he loves, and nothing he wants to do. Not only that he feels unloved and unwanted. However, Spinner finds something to love in Shigaraki, even if he can't find a strong sense of individualism and still believes himself to be worthless he becomes motivated to help others. Spinner, the most normal person in the group with the most worthless quirk, becomes the greatest help to Shigaraki, basically once he gets over himself and his preconceived notions of himself. Because, you don't actually have to be a special person or have a strong quirk to be a hero, you have to reach out a hand.

The same way Spinner was won over by the League, Dabi has yet to be won over. However, if that does happen, it's probably going to look like Spinner's arc. Dabi antagonizes Spinner a lot, but they actually have more in common than they do differences. They both have failure quirks, while Dabi has an overwhelming fire quirk he wasn't allowed to use, Spinner is literally just a gecko. They both also were labeled as disappointments and given up on, Enji gave up on Touya, Spinner never had any potential from the start and locked himself away in his room. However, their paths so far have been opposites, Spinner let Shigaraki reach him and became a part of the group, Dabi at every possible opportunity insists he's doing this all alone. He takes every chance he can to separate himself from others. If Dabi's arc is going to be a mirror to Shoto's arc eventually, then someone has to reach him and convince him he can't do this all on his own, and Dabi can only truly find himself when he's part of the group once more. After all, so far Dabi is the one most resistant to change. Toga's goal has changed, Shigaraki's changed, Spinner has changed, even Compress now admits that while they're just a gang of thieves that he cares more about everyone else's dreams than his own. Dabi is still nursing a ten-year grudge against Endeavor and doing everything he can to take him down on his own because he hasn't let the group in. And he won't improve or change until he does let others in.

5. Spinner and Shigaraki

I love Compress but I'm skipping over him because his arc hasn't been elaborated on yet. If you want a quick summary though, both Spinner and Compress didn't believe the group to be anything more than a gathering of selfish criminals, however, both of them changed because they wanted to see Shigaraki's dream come true. Not only was Shigaraki the one who inspired both of them to change, but also Compress is the one who first sees how close Spinner is to Shigaraki more than anyone else in the group was.

He also sacrifices himself BECAUSE he's come to realize that what he wants more than his own dreams is to see everyone else's dreams come true. I know Compress's backstory is rushed as all hell, but it almost... almost... works because Compress isn't actually doing this because he's Oji Harima's grandson. His motivation changed a long time ago, he just didn't realize it until he was about to lose the league.

There are a few more parallels, they're both dropouts. It's implied that Compress was literally just a retired and failed stage magician before he decided to become a villain. Hopefully we'll become more on that later because the idea of Compress sucking in showbiz so he decided to follow his grandfather's legacy is really awesome. Spinner was a Neet before he saw Stain on television. They also both have more minor quirks, Compress just shrinks people, Spinner sticks to things. They both also are characters who don't seem important at first, but consistently hover around in the background constantly making sure everyone in the group is okay. Compress calls to check up on people, he talks to Dabi a lot, he tries to keep up with everybody in a melee, it's the little things he does that make Compress same for Spinner. They're both cosplaying as legendary villains who are greater than they are, Stein is cosplaying his grandfather, Spinner is cosplaying Stain, but it's unknown whether Compress really cares that much about his grandfather's ideals, I think he cares about the league more. Compress and Spinner are also people who question and try to understand things, Compress lectures the kids that they had their ideals handed down to them for adult, Compress realizes Spinner's importance to Shigaraki before Spinner even did, Compress and Spinner also both try to understand other people's dreams because they're lacking in their own. Spinner doesn't even have a dream, but he's the one who listened to Shigaraki's dream first.

Now it's been directly said by canon that Spinner and Shigaraki's connection is the most developed, and they are the closest to one another. By developed I mean, it changed over time, when it started out they had almost nothing to do with one another. Spinner was just a rank and file league member that Shigaraki used on the hideout raid. They didn't even get a character introduction scene like Shigarki did with Dabi and Toga.

However, Spinner and Shigaraki's characters are extremely closely tied together. Shigaraki's like the main character of the league, his backstories parallel everyone else's, including the main character of the entire story Deku. He's the one who makes the plans, goes through training arcs, he's the one who the league unites around. However, Spinner actually has all of that too. I just spent a very long time showing how Spinner despite not having an overly complicated backstory has strong parallels to everyone in the league. If Shigaraki is the main character, then Spinner is the everyman / the perspective character, hence why he's the narrator of MVA. Shigaraki is a person of extraordinary circumstance, the symbol of society's oppression who everyone in the league deepy relates to because he's suffered the same way that they have and he accepts them. Whereas, Spinner has suffered because of Hero Society too, he's more like a normal guy who makes an effort to understand everyone around him.

However, Deku wasn't saved by his love interest, or even his childhood friend who is apparently his destined rival, he was saved by Iida trying his best to keep up with him.

Spinner and Shigaraki are both the emotional core of the league in different ways. The league all respects Shigaraki, they rally around his ideas, his dreams are what inspire everybody. However, more and more it's looking like Spinner, ordinary, average, Spinner is working to build emotional connections to everyone in a much more normal way. He talks to Toga and tries to understand her love. He even consoles Toga when twice is gone. He challenges Shigaraki directly to his face. Compress who is always sort of watching the league in the background and checking up on them in little ways notices how hard that Spinner is trying to take care of Shigaraki.

Shigaraki accepts people at their worst and gives them a place to belong, but I think by Spinner's efforts to get to know and understand others, we as an audience are shown how humanizing of a presence that Spinner is on everyone else. Spinner, just being a normal guy, brings out the fact that the rest of the league despite their extraordinary circumstances are deep down just normal people to, who want to be loved normally, and live normally. Spinner literally wakes up Shigaraki, because he remembered the one time that he opened up in front of all of them, and cares enough to try to understand Shigaraki's hurt feelings and what he cares about.

If anything from the last arc in the manga, we're shown at great length, how understanding, reaching out, it all takes effort and it's not as flashy as defeating a villain or rescuing someone from a natural disaster.

Spinner is so important to Shigaraki, because while Shigaraki has given everyone in the group a place where they can be individuals, Shigaraki hasn't realized he himself can be an individual yet. He ultimately, shares the same character flaw as Deku. It's because he's decided that he's going to carry out his dreams for the sake of the league and to create a better future for them, that Shigaraki no longer cares what happens to himself, or about his own future. Everyone talks about Dabi's suicidal nature, but this is something that Shigaraki is challenged on over and over again. What are your motivations. What are your reasons. What do you want to accomplish. He always responds with nothing. There's nothing that he wants, there's nothing worth living for, he only wants to destroy and make a better world for the people who are around him. Shigaraki is the most thoroughly dehumanized character, to the point where he just straight up accepts "god of destruction" because that is at least an identity. Shigaraki needs Spinner and his normalizing influence, because Shigaraki can't see himself as a normal person.

Shigaraki shares the same character flaw as Deku, he does everything for the sake of others, with no regard to himself, which leads to extreme bouts of self-harming and fighting alone. Shigaraki faced off against Endeavor, and basically all the heroes alone even though he did call for backup. However, even before that Shigaraki made the decision to get dangerous risky surgery that would be like hell, because he believed deep down he wasn't good enough alone. Shigaraki just does not care about himself and is unable to see himself as an individual, which is exactly why he needs someone to care for him and see him that way.

Shigaraki's greatest challenge to date is that he's been dehumanized so thoroughly, and lost sight of himself to the point where he's lost even his own body autonomy. When Shigaraki is battling for possession of his body as AFO attempts to take total control and make him into a symbol again, denying him his personhood, we're set up directly with Spinner being the one who reminds us that Shigaraki is just a person, who likes video games, and gets along with his friends. It's Spinner who notices right away that AFO is different from Shigaraki and challenges him the same way that he challenged Shigaraki directly in the My VIllain Academia arc. This is all set up most likely, for Spinner being the one to reach out a hand the same way IIDA did, because what Shigaraki needs the most right now, is not a hero who will save him, but rather a normal person who will understand him and remind him that deep down he was just a normal kid too before all of this happened. What Shigaraki is most in need of is a hand that will reach out to him, and Spinner has already done this once putting Nana's hand back on his face when he couldn't wake up, but what he's failed to realize is that it's his own scaly lizard hands that should be doing the reaching out.

[sassyhobbits]

rowaelin with their first child and they get into that stranger anxiety phase and cry with everyone except when they're in their mothers arms and it's exhausting but also adorable but rowan sometimes feels like a bad dad because his kid doesn't want to be held by him so aelin has to reassure him and then some day this phase is finally over - prompt 😢🥺

ok i adored writing this one. dad rowan is so much fun to work with. i hope everyone enjoys!!

~~~

In his over 300 years, Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius had been awoken by many different things. Whether it was a call to battle while sleeping in a war tent, a summons from his queen late at night, or a lover trying unsuccessfully to disappear quietly before dawn. Yet, none of these manners of waking up had filled him with as much dread as he felt currently.

He was woken in the middle of the night by a shrill shriek coming from the room that adjoined the one he shared with Aelin. In the recent months, what had once been a leisure room had been converted to a nursery for their new baby girl.

It took three years after Aelin’s coronation before they decided to start trying to have a child. It took another year before they were successful. Rowan counted his blessings. He had seen plenty of Fae couples take decades before they finally conceived.

Eliora was four months old now, which meant four months of troubled sleep for both him and his mate.

Rowan was instantly on alert at the sound of his daughter’s cries. He knew that they were no more than a normal babe’s troubles, but his instincts made him tense anyways. He quickly sat up, looking down at his wife quickly to see if she had woken up. Luckily, she still slept, likely beyond exhausted from the mix of raising a child and ruling a kingdom. If Rowan was successful, she wouldn’t have to wake up at all.

He got out of bed and swiftly stepped into the nursery, coming before Eliora’s crib. Her tiny face was pinched up in dainty outrage, small limbs flailing as she cried. Rowan took a deep breath, sending a prayer up to the gods more out of habit than faith at this point, and picked his daughter from the crib. Hopefully, this would be the time he could get her to stop crying.

The little princess shrieked and protested whenever she was in anyone’s arms besides her mother’s. Rowan’s included.

“I’ve got you, my little light,” Rowan whispered to his daughter, cradling her tiny body to his bare chest and lowering himself onto the rocking chair they kept beside her crib. “Everything’s alright.”

Despite his soothing words, Eliora still continued to cry. It broke Rowan’s heart to hear, broke it even more to know that nothing he did could seem to calm her down.

“Please stop crying, love,” Rowan pleaded, threading his fingers through the fine, silvery-blonde hair growing on his daughter’s head. “Your mother is so tired and needs her sleep.”

Unfortunately, even begging didn’t seem to work.

Over the sounds of Eliora’s cries, he heard the door hinges creek, and the sound of bare feet scuffing over stone. Rowan glanced over, finding Aelin walking towards him. Exhaustion weighed down her beautiful face, but her eyes were still full of fondness at the sight of the two of them.

Rowan looked to her apologetically before his face crumpled in defeat. “I can’t get her to stop crying. I’m so sorry, Fireheart.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, love,” she whispered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his hair. “Give her to me.”

Rowan handed the squirming bundle of blankets to his wife. Aelin situated their daughter in her arms before she lowered herself on Rowan’s lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist, press a kiss to her shoulder, and begin to rock them.

Quickly, Eliora’s cries began to fade away. Her face unscrewed, looking at Aelin with those wide, Ashryver eyes that she had.

Aelin began to sing a low, Terrasenian lullaby as he continued to rock the three of them. It never ceased to amaze him how good she was with their daughter, how quickly she was able to sooth her temper. He only wished that he could do the same, that Eliora would look at him the same way she looked at Aelin and not scream and scream and scream.

Rowan’s heart was full of love as he watched Eliora’s eyes begin to droop shut at the soothing rocking motion and the sound of her mother’s voice. It wasn’t long before she was once again asleep, the night perfectly silent.

Rowan helped Aelin stand, keeping a hand against her back as she brought their daughter back to her crib and laid her down. Perfect. She truly was perfect.

A gentle hand on his arm drew his attention away from the slumbering babe. Aelin nodded her head towards their room and Rowan dutifully followed, shutting the door quietly behind them.

“I’m sorry, Fireheart,” Rowan said again, drawing Aelin into his arms and kissing her forehead. “I know you’re exhausted.”

“No more so than you.”

Rowan could only sigh, pressing his lips together tightly. His emotions were troubled, and he should have known that Aelin was going to notice. She leaned back slightly, peering up at his face.

“I know what you’re thinking, Rowan, and you’re wrong,” she said matter-of-factly.

Rowan wanted to believe her, but he couldn’t help but ask, “What am I doing wrong?”

He had faced many challenges over his years. Wars and battles and tortures. He had survived them all and came out victorious. And yet, the thing that brought him to his knees, was the fact that he couldn’t bring comfort to his own daughter when she needed it. A baby had finally defeated him.

“You know you’re not doing anything wrong,” Aelin said firmly. “The nurses said this happens sometimes. It’s not your fault.”

Rowan had heard this what felt like a thousand times. It did little to soothe his troubles.

Rowan was good at many things. He was a warrior and a general, had stepped confidently into the role of king consort. His hands could kill and heal and build, but they couldn’t get Eliora to stop crying. He couldn’t help but feel that, perhaps, being a father… wasn’t something that he was made for.

It broke his heart to think. He remembered how excited he was when they found out Aelin was finally pregnant, how they cried and kissed and clung to each other, whispering about the future. He had been ecstatic, but also terrified. He knew Aedion, who had welcomed his own son into the world a year before Aelin got pregnant, had felt the same before he was born. But, Aedion hadn’t had the troubles Rowan did. He had stepped into fatherhood gracefully, and his son loved him immensely.

“Hey,” Aelin said, a bit snappily. She put her hand on Rowan’s cheek and urged him to look at her. In those eyes was a familiar fire. “Stop that. I know what’s going through your head. You’re a wonderful father.”

Rowan sighed and hung his head, pressing Aelin’s hand more firmly against his cheek. “How can I be a good father if I have no idea what I’m doing?”

“Do you think I’m a bad mother?”

“What? Of course not.”

“Well, I don’t know what I’m doing either,” Aelin said. “Neither did Aedion or Lysandra. No new parent has any idea what they’re doing. It’s part of the job.”

She made it sound so easy. Aelin had always had a knack for that.

“I wonder if there’s some secret behind it,” Rowan mused as Aelin tucked herself back into his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso.

He felt his wife shrug. “I don’t know… but if there was, I think it would be to love them. To support them. To do everything in our power to make sure they’re happy.”

“I love Eliora more than life. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

“I know, love.” Aelin rolled on the tips of her toes and brushed a soft kiss against Rowan’s mouth. “Now, all you need to do is have patience.”

He chuckled. “Look at you. Who would have ever guessed that Aelin Galathynius would be lecturing me on patience.”

Her grin was a slash of white in the dark. “I’ve been told I’m wise beyond my years.”

“Who the hell has ever told you that?”

“People. Now, will you come back to bed with me?”

“Of course, Fireheart.”

They climbed back under the covers, pressing their bodies close. Aelin fell back asleep almost comically quickly. Rowan wasn’t far behind, holding his wife tightly throughout the night.

…

Another month went by and little changed. Both Rowan and his wife were getting little sleep during the night, leading to some groggy mornings. He had seen Aelin taking short naps at her desk or dozing off when an advisor spoke for too long. She would, of course, deny it if Rowan ever brought it up, so he wisely stayed silent.

Eliora still abhorred being held by anyone except Aelin. The fact that it wasn’t just him brought Rowan a bit of solace. His daughter cried when held by Lysandra or Fenrys or Elide. She had a particularly nasty meltdown last time Lorcan had held her.

“I know, sweet girl,” Aelin had murmured, taking Eliora from Lorcan. “I wouldn’t want to be that close to him either.”

Still, Eliora’s reactions didn’t deter Rowan from trying to hold and soothe her, though he had not yet been victorious. Patience, Aelin had said. It was easier said than done.

The sun had set below the Staghorns hours ago. Eliora was asleep in the nursery, Aelin was treating herself to a long soak in the tub, and Rowan sat in one of the plush armchairs they kept in their room, sharpening and polishing some of his blades.

It was an easy practice to get lost in. The simple, repetitive movements were a welcome distraction. A good way to cool down before bed.

However, his hands froze when he heard a tiny whimper sound from the nursery that quickly morphed into a shrill cry. Eliora.

Rowan placed his blades down on the low table before him, pushing to his feet and quickly striding into the nursery.

Eliora was wiggling as she wailed. Rowan wished he could read her mind so he knew exactly what was bothering her and how he could help. But, all he could do was take a deep, bracing breath and scoop his daughter into his arms.

“What’s wrong, little light?” Rowan whispered, carrying her over to the rocking chair. “What is it?”

Eliora’s only response was to continue crying.

Rowan sighed, wondering how much longer he had before Aelin got out of the bath and came in to calm Eliora down. He had seen Aelin do it countless times. She would take Eliora into her arms, smile down at her, start to whisper nonsense or sing a low lullaby. She made it seem so easy.

“Everything’s alright, Eliora,” Rowan murmured, switching to the Old Language. “I’ve got you. I’ll never let anything happen to you, little love.”

And then, something amazing happened.

Slowly, Eliora’s cries began to fade away to a whimper and then, to nothing at all. Rowan held his breath, worrying that one wrong move would put her back into a fit of hysterics. His daughter slowly opened her eyes and peered up at him.

Rowan smiled down at her. “You’re just as lovely as your mother. Just as stubborn, too.”

And then, as if she understood his little joke, Eliora flashed him a gummy smile. The shift in expression floored him. She had never given him a smile before.

Rowan felt his throat tighten and his eyes begin to burn, but he smiled back at the tears welled up. A tiny laugh escaped his throat. Finally, finally, he had done it.

Eliora’s chubby arms reached up. Rowan held out a finger, letting her wrap a tiny hand around it. He always forgot just how small she was.

“I love you more than you could possibly know, Eliora.”

He was too distracted by his daughter and the little grip she had on his finger to notice that Aelin had entered the nursery until she was almost upon them. Rowan looked up at his wife, knowing that his eyes were still watery and there were likely tear tracks streaking down his cheeks. Regardless, he beamed.

“It would seem, once again, that I was right,” Aelin said with a triumphant smirk.

“As you often are, my love.”

She laughed and dropped a kiss to his forehead before draping her arms over his shoulders, leaning over and watching their daughter, who was studying them with wide eyes. Once again, Eliora smiled. Rowan would never tire of the sight.

“She looks like you when she smiles,” Aelin mused.

“You think?”

She nodded slowly, reaching out and running her knuckles along the smooth curve of Eliora’s cheek. “I still can’t believe she’s ours. She’s just so… perfect.”

“Like her mother.”

Aelin snorted. “Kiss ass.”

“Maybe a little.”

They faded into silence, simply standing there, wrapped up in their little, blossoming family. They stood there until Eliora’s eyes fluttered shut once more and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. One she enjoyed for the entirety of the night.

Rowan didn’t know what he had done to deserve such bliss, but he knew it must have been something good.

[letarasstuff]

"I don't wanna leave you, Daddy"

(A/N): This was requested by an Anon and it's based on this concept. I hope you are ready for the feels.

Summary: Hotch's daughter is an introvert. A quiet one. But why does she go even quieter after her mother's death?

Warnings: So much hurt. Angst. Fluff. It's bitter sweet.

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

(Y/N) never really was an outgoing person. Even since she was able to walk and talk, she still clung to her parents. She refused to play on the playground when other children were there. Socializing was just not her thing. Her parents were sure that she would never be the person to stand up and perform on stage spontaneously. And it is ok.

This doesn’t really change when Jack comes around. Sure, as he grows older and more capable of things (Y/N) plays with him. But it really seems like he is the only one around her age she is not afraid to befriend.

Aaron and Haley reassure themselves that their daughter will find friends in elementary school. After all this is an institution where many children go to and there also are adults trained for helping them coming along. She definitely will find at least one other kid to hang out with regularly and learn how to be a proper child. Because as of right now (Y/N) is more like a little adult, taking responsibilities, like watching over her little brother, she doesn’t need to do voluntarily. Maybe she will be more messy, rebellious, anything but a perfect child.

But this doesn’t exactly happen. (Y/N)’s teachers are really happy with her. Every parent-teacher conference is about how well and polite she is, always behaving good and following the rules. Sadly, they don’t have any good news regarding her social life. It’s not that she doesn’t get along with her classmates, it’s just that she isn’t able to strike up a conversation or is very good at keeping one long enough that a kid is interested in her.

Knowing that (Y/N) is mostly quiet in her school days, Aaron makes it a habit to bring her more often to the office. She surprisingly warms quickly up to his team and whenever she is around them the girl is an unstoppable tornado running loose around the bullpen.

This is kind of how she grows up until the age of middle school. (Y/N) learns some social skills and makes a few friends over the last few years. Unfortunately these friendships are not as deep as the parents wish, still it’s better than nothing.

Things get difficult when Aaron and Haley start to separate. It never is easy when parents fall out of love and it is not only difficult for Jack to see his father not as often as he used to, considering he still is a toddler needing both parents. Especially (Y/N), who is more of a daddy’s girl than a mommy’s girl, suffers from the situation at home.

Of course it’s hard on her to not see her father for a week or two at a time, but ever since her parents are going on parted ways she sees him at most one weekend every three weeks. This also changes her social life dramastically.

“(Y/N), don’t you wanna do something with your friends? You can invite them over for the weekend”, Haley suggests after watching her daughter not going out with somebody outside of school for several days. For the past two weeks the ten year old just comes home, does her homework and puts her nose in one of the books her Uncle Spencer recommended.

The girl only looks up at her mother to shake her head. “Why not, Sweetie? I haven’t seen William and John in so long. Are you still friends with them?” (Y/N) nods again. “So what is it? Are you guys fighting?” Haley sits down next to her on her bed.

“No, they just-just don’t know about this. I don’t want to tell them. And I want to stay home. It’s ok how it is right now”, she admits. Her mother’s heart breaks at that statement.

In this moment she realizes that anything a parent does has immediate consequences for the children. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I didn’t know this is so hard for you. Maybe you can talk to them over the next few days about it, I think it’ll help you. Do you want to watch a film with me for now? Jack has a sleepover at a friend’s. We can do a girl’s night. We hadn’t had one in a long time.”

(Y/N)’s eyes light up at that. “With all the candy in the world?” Haley smiles at the newfound excitement. “Of course. Anything you want.”

From only seeing Aaron every now and then it suddenly turns to not knowing when she will see him next. After George Foyet ambushes him and makes his family into the next target, (Y/N), her brother and her mother have to go into witness protection.

The goodbye at the hospital is painful and filled with tears. “But Dad, I don’t want to leave you. I’ll miss you too much. I don’t like not seeing you. And what about you? You will be more lonely and-and I can’t leave you”, she confesses, sobbing into him.

Hotch has to hold his own tears back. He doesn’t want to come over as stoic, but as the strong father figure he always tries to be. “Honey, I know I’ll miss you so much. You have to be strong for your mother. This will not be easy and I know it. I promise to do my best to get all of you back as soon as possible, ok? Please be good for your mother and behave. We all need to work together for you to get back fast and safely.”

(Y/N) continues to cry into his hospital gown. Aaron can’t help it and dissolves in tears himself while trying to calm her down. “Shh, Honey. Everything will be fine. I’m so so sorry for all this. I never wanted something like this to happen. Shh, we will see each other real soon. The team and I will do our best. Just please, don’t cry. Please, it all will be better. I can’t let you go without seeing your beautiful laugh for one last time.”

“I don’t wanna leave you, Daddy. I-I wanna stay with you and Uncle Dave and Auntie JJ and Uncle Spencer and Uncle Der and Auntie Penny and Auntie Em. I’m scared you won’t be fine when we come back.”

It’s needless to say that nobody cracked even a smile that day.

Going into witness protection made Haley worry about Jack especially. He is just four years old and she isn’t sure how much he understands about what’s going on. Surprisingly the boy gets accustomed to the situation pretty fast. Of course he misses his father and his people from school, but he is also quick to meet new ones in the town they moved to.

(Y/N) has bigger problems. New school. New kids. New everything.

“Maybe you can see it as a fresh start. Here is nobody you know. You can be whoever you want to be. I can take you shopping and you can try out a new style”, her mother tries to make the situation sound advantageous to her. But the girl dryly answers: “When somebody doesn’t like me how I am now, how will they like an act?”

Sam Kassmeyer regularly reports back to Aaron about his family’s well being. “Jack is thriving. His teachers describe him as a bundle of joy. (Y/N) slowly gets acclimated to the change. Haley told me she started making friends with a girl in their neighborhood. I already ran a background check and the family is clean.”

Hotch lets out a sigh of relief. He turns towards the image on Penelope’s monitor. “Happy fifth birthday, Buddy.”

A few weeks after that it seems like the events overturn each other.

Foyet coming back. Kassmeyer getting tortured. Foyet finding Haley and the children. Them coming back to their house. The call. Working the case with Jack. The gunshot. The fighting noises. Hotch opening the box and hugging both of his children, relieved to see them alive.

The following weeks are difficult for the now smaller family. They mostly consist of watching videos of happy memories and talking about their feelings. Although it’s more like Jack talking about his feelings, (Y/N) went mostly silent ever since their mother’s death. This worries her father more than anything.

Two months have gone by. “Hey Honey, I’m going into the office today. Do you wanna come with me, stay at home or go to school? Anything is fine by me”, he asks her softly, kneeling beside her chair at the table. The girl is munching on her cereal halfheartedly.

“Can I come to the office?” (Y/N) asks in a hoarse voice. It’s actually the first time in four days that Aaron hears her voice. A small smile forms on his face. “Of course, that’s nice. Aunt Penny is asking me after her favorite Hotchner for days on end now. And Uncle Spencer got a stack of books he has for you to read.”

His daughter nods and quickly gets ready. They are soon on their way to Quantico after dropping Jack off at daycare. “How are your classmates? Do you like the new school?” They decided to send (Y/N) to a different school. She couldn’t bear the thought of only being the girl whose Mom died because of a serial killer.

“It’s fine. There are a few girls who are really nice. I think we can be friends. Mo-” She suddenly cuts herself off. Aaron glances over at her. “Continue, Sweetheart. Just tell me what’s on your mind”, he tries to encourage her.

The girl hesitates before following her father’s advice. “Mom would have liked them,” she mumbles. It’s quiet for a few seconds. Hotch is looking for a suitable answer. After all it’s the first time she talked about her mother since her death. “I’m sure of it, Honey. Maybe you can invite them over and I can get to know them. Think about it, no pressure of course.” (Y/N) nods to indicate that she heard him.

Not long later they enter the bullpen. “There she is! My little Hotchner! How you doing, Baby?” Derek asks her and envelopes her into a hug. But she only shrugs her shoulders. This goes on for the rest of the day. Whenever anyone talks to her, the only answer is given by her body language.

Hotch watches helplessly Spencer trying to engage in a conversation with her. His arms and hands are waving around. (Y/N) though just looks at him without being really there mentally. It seems like she is lost in her own thoughts, like it happened so often over the last few months.

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Dave asks, sitting down on the chair opposite of him. Aaron looks at him funny. “Of course. But (Y/N) is just not ready to talk about Haley and everybody grieves differently. I can’t force her to speak, Dave.”

The older agent leans back in his seat. “I don’t think she needs to talk about her. This probably is too soon. She needs to talk about you. The changes.” After a short pause, in which the other one still doesn’t get the point, Rossi continues. “That little girl just lost her mother. She is scared to lose her father, the one with the high risk job. I think that is enough to talk about.”

This occupies the agent for the remainder of the day. Aaron was so invested in fulfilling both parent roles, that he forgot that he is just a father. The man his children go to when they have a nightmare. The one, who is more lenient than their mother. He can’t be both ones. He can’t be two people in one.

A kid trusts a mother and a father usually. And he can’t be mother and father at once. Hotch has to accept the fact. The fact that (Y/N) and Jack are going to grow up without a mother. But luckily not without mother figures.

Later that day, after tucking Jack in, Aaron knocks on his daughter’s door. A small “Come in!” echoes back to him. He enters her room and spots (Y/N) already in her bed reading a book Spencer gave her today.

“Hey, do you have time before it’s lights out?” He asks, still wanting to give her the upper hand on this. The girl nods and scoots over for her father to take a place. He lays next to her, pulling his daughter into a hug.

“I know I can’t promise it. Coming back to you every time. You know it as much as I do. But I promise you to try anything and everything in the books. You guys keep me going.” Tears roll over both of their faces.

“I-I just”, (Y/N) moves her head onto his chest to sob into it, “Just don’t wanna lose you, too. I-I don’t think I-I can’t be the girl, who doesn’t have a mother AND a father. C-can you stop that from happening?” Hotch has to wipe his eyes before answering.

“I-I try to keep that from happening, Honey. I promise.”

This is how they fall asleep, squished in a twin bed close to each other. In the morning they both are overheated and got a visitor during the night. Jack wakes them up, asking why they had a sleepover without him.

This morning is the first time Aaron sees (Y/N) smiles since day zero.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962