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hwangsies · 4 years ago

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SILVER SOLUTION

(part 2 of galvanising green, read part 1 first!)

pairing: slytherin!hyunjin x slytherin!reader

summary: you dont know where you stand with hyunjin after the greenhouse incident, getting grouped together in potions class might give the both of you some clarity.

warnings: swearing, smut as in: heavy petting, some bathtub fun, praise kink i guess, pretty tame and very fluffy

3.6 k words,

enjoy <3

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“class, listen up” your potions professor claps his hands together “today we’re making amortentia upon a special request from ms weasley” he smiles at victoire, who’s standing next to you behind labtable.

Potions is your only class you have together this year so you’re always exited for it, especially cause she excels in almost every class.

“mom told me she only realised that she liked dad through making this in class” she whispers to you as the professor keeps telling the class about the ingredients.

“mhh” you nod, pretending to be interested, but you simply cant be. Not when hyunjin is staring holes into the back of your head.

You turn around slightly just to see him at the table diagonally behind you, propped up with elbows on the table and locking eyes with you.

He clears his throat and straightens up to look over at his partner, james , when you catch him.

You sigh as the professor tells the class to begin, victoire already starting to chop up some rose thorns.

“hey, can you grab the pearldust and measure it?” she rips you out of your thoughts about if you were to harsh to the blonde boy that’s been on your mind for the past week.

“uhh- yea” you mumble, grabbing the little sliver bag that’s labelled as ‘pearl dust’.

“how much of this?” you ask before victoire points at the measurements in the book that’s laying infront of her on the table.

After about 20 minutes of mixing the ingredients you suddenly hear a loud clinging of someone dropping a glass, followed by yelling.

You turn around to see hyunjin and james at each others throats, fellow classmates quickly jumping in to get them off of each other.

“hey!” your professor comes running “this kind of behaviour is not acceptable in my classroom! I forbid it!” he says sternly.

Hyunjin and james breathing heavily as they nod apologetically.

The professor looks around before his eyes land on victoire “ms weasly would you be so kind to switch places with mr hwang?” he asks but you know its more of an order than a request.

“uh-“ your best friend looks over at you before a small grin tugs at her lips “yea of course” she chirps.

Your eyes widen as she leaves you alone, turning back around to your concoction to mix the fluid before hyunjin appears in your peripheral.

“hey” he says in a small voice, you just nod, eyes trained on the liquid that’s slowly gaining a pearly sheen.

“you’re still not gonna talk to me?” he asks, watching the silver liquid in the big pot as well.

“I said everything I had to say” you answer blankly.

“well I didn’t” he rebuttals, at which your eyes jump up diagonally to meet his.

“what did you and james fight about?” you ask, ignoring his statement before.

“that’s private” he says almost immediately after you stop speaking, at which you huff.

“that’s great, hwang. i love talking to you when you get defensive” you say sarcastically, continuously stirring the potion.

He exhales irritatedly “then why do you always bring up stuff that you know I don’t want to talk about?”

“because, shocker hyunjin the world doesn’t revolve around you” you turn to him, gesturing with the hand that isn’t stirring the liquid “also jesus christ how much aftershave did you put on?” you scrunch up your nose.

He furrows his brows at you before scoffing “you’re the one to talk, your perfume is stinking up this place” he shakes his head as he looks away from you.

“excuse me?” you turn to him.

“yea- as soon as I got here all I could freaking sme-“ he stops himself and his expression softens as he looks from the liquid in pot back to your face.

“what?” you ask, still infuriated as you look over to see the silver spiralling steam coming out of the pot, signalling that the amortentia is working.

“wow!” your professor comes over and applauds “that’s looking really good kids!”

You feel the blood rush to your head when you lock eyes with hyunjin again.

“I don’t feel too good professor I need to go to the bathroom” you quickly excuse yourself before storming out of the classroom, not waiting for an answer.

Hyunjin is quick to tell him that he’ll go check on you before running after you.

“y/n” he yells down the hall “can you stop running away from me? its getting old” he pants as he catches up with you.

“I never told you to follow me” you snap back, not stopping “leave me alone”

“no” he grabs your wrist to stop you, looking into your eyes when he succeeds “I like you, a lot”

“and I know that you like me back” his eyes are soft when he looks into yours.

“so for as long as you smell my aftershave and I smell your perfume in the amortentia I will run after you” you swallow when he closes in on your personal space.

“it doesn’t matter what I smell because I don’t know if i can trust you” you say quietly.

“I understand, but what can I do to change that?” he asks seriously, you shrug your shoulders.

Hyunjin gnaws at his lower lip, sliding his hand down your wrist to enclose your smaller hand in his.

“how about I can be your boyfriend for like 2 weeks, as a test run” you chuckle and shake your head.

“no-no listen” he pleads.

“yea- okay” you signal him to keep going.

“and if you don’t want me after that we’ll just stop, no pressure no anything, we don’t even have to tell people” he proposes.

“you don’t want to tell people because you don’t want other girls to know?” you ask teasingly.

“I- no-“ he sighs when he sees your grin.

At the same moment the door to the classroom open and the whole class comes out for their lunch break.

Hyunjin looks at you before looking back at them.

“what?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer you.

“hey!” he shouts at the fellow students including james and victoire “I like her!” he points at you.

“oh my god” you whisper, burying your face in your hand embarrassedly.

“a lot!!” he continues before looking down at you “she’s smart and funny and not to mention incredibly beautiful”

“get a room” someone yells before the students laugh and move past the two of you.

“I don’t care about other girls” he turns to you again “please?”

You inhale deeply before nodding “okay”

His pretty lips form into a big smile as his hands find your waist over your cloak.

“so does that mean I’m your boyfriend now?” he pulls you closer to his body, grinning from ear to ear, his eyes turning into crescents.

“14 days test trial boyfriend, sure” you grin back as he slowly leans down.

“but” you say, making him stop his actions “you’ll need to earn the first kiss as my boyfriend” you softly tap your index finger against his lips.

He groans playfully and buries his face into your neck “okay” he mumbles “whatever you want” he presses a kiss to your cheek as you grin victoriously.

"are you ever going to tell me why you and james fought in class two days ago?"

"It's not that serious" hyunjin shakes his head, not looking up from the notes on his lap.

"okay" you hum, pushing you hair back when a breeze of wind rushes through hagrids pumpkin field.

You observe the tall blond boy sitting on one of the huge pumpkins next to the one you're sitting on.

"did it possibly have to do with the big griffyndor vs slytherin quidditch match coming up?" you absently tap your feather against the tough skin of the pumpkin.

He sighs, looking up at you "yea"

"Scouts are coming and seekers aren't needed as much as other players, you know, since there's only one in each team" he runs a hand through his hair.

"so we know only one of us could possibly get scouted" you lock eyes.

"you dont know that" you try cheering him up "what if they think the both of you are amazing?"

Hyunjin chuckles "that's sweet of you but even if they did, they'd probably pick james because of his name"

You frown.

"Not that he isnt talented or anything but, you know" he shrugs.

"no, baby dont think like that. I've seen you play, you're amazing, anyone with eyes sees that" hyunjins eyes crinkle up as his pretty lips stretch into a smile.

He pushes himself off of his pumpkin to lean against yours.

"you just called me baby for the first time" he tilts up his chin, locking eyes with you.

"thats the only thing you took from my emotional speech just now?" you snicker, leaning down to boop his nose with yours.

"wanna kiss you so bad right now" hyunjin mumbles, biting his lower lip.

"hmm" you hum "not yet"

"Hey kids, listen i'm all for young love but please not on my pumpkins" hagrid shouts from his window.

"shit" hyunjin laughs.

"sorry hagrid"

"you came" hyunjin beams at you, gracefully landing on his feet next to you on one of the high tribunes.

"you asked me to" you tilt your head, as he steps closer.

"yea but it's only a practice game so-"

"i'm still gonna support my boyfriend" you grin, getting on your toes a little to kiss his cheek.

He blushes a little, his cheeks matching the faint redness of his nose, which you attribute to the cold weather; you swear it's the cutest thing he's ever done.

"are you blushing" tease him, cradling his cheeks in your hands.

"am not" he huffs sarcastically at which you giggle and press another kiss to his cheek.

"ay hwang! we dont have all day" a male voice calls for your boyfriend.

He looks back briefly to nod at his teammate .

"come with me after practice? i wanna show you something" he requests.

"yea, okay" you smile.

"okay, have fun watchig, babe" he drops a kiss to your cheek before turning his back to you.

"wait" you hold his arm "you forgot something"

"what?" hyunjin frowns.

"this" you place your hands on his cheeks once more and pull him flush to yourself, slotting your lips against his.

You hear his broom hitting the ground, a second later his hands encase your waist, pulling you closer.

The faint sound of hyunjins teammates hollering is the last thing you hear before his tongue prods at the seam of your lips.

The blood rushing to your ears keeps you from hearing anything but your tongues chasing each other.

You only seperate from each other when a high pitched whistle fills the air.

"fuck" he breathes, grinning before dropping a last kiss to your lips.

"continue this later?" youbite your lip as he picks up his broom.

"definetely" he winks before pushing himself off the ground to meet his teammates hovering in the middle of the field.

"that was so hot" you jump at victoires voice.

"what the fuck" you hold your chest as you turn around to see your bestfriend take a seat on the tribunes.

"how much did you see?" you adjust your green-white scarf as you sit down next to her.

"enough babe, that was a sexy girl move" she fiddles at you scarf as well.

You laugh "yea?"

"hell yea, look" she points up at hyunjin, where him and his teammates are still talking, one of them pushing hyunjins shoulder playfully.

"they are totally jealous of him" she squeals "and i'm totally jealous of you" she squints her green eyes teasingly.

“i can’t believe they let you use the prefects bathroom” you awe as you look around the spacious room with high walls and windows, where he had taken you after practice.

"one of the perks when you're the star of the slytherin quidditch team" hyunjin grins, dropping his slytherin coat to the ground.

He walks over to the gigantic bathtub and turns on the water, glancing over at you.

"luke warm or hot?" his hand rests on the tab.

"huh?" your head snaps over at him.

He chuckles "the bathwater"

"oh, uh hot" you nod.

"fitting" hyunjin grins, mumbling.

"Hm?" you lock eyes as you take off your coat and mimick hyunjin in dropping it to the ground.

"nothing" he giggles, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"take it off" he whispers against your lips, his fingers tugging at your shirt.

You comply and get rid of your clothes.

"Ooh" you sound as you step inside the big tub thats filled to the brim with bubbles.

"good?" hyunjin asks as he takes your hand to help you inside, he himself already sat down.

"great" you close your eyes as his arms envelope you from behind, leaning back against his chest.

“so what’d you think of seeing me play?” he whispers after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“fishing for compliments are we?” you joke.

“ha ha” he murmurs against your neck, making goosebumps spread over your legs which doesn’t go unnoticed by him when his hand runs up your thigh.

“feels nice?” hyunjin runs his nose against the shell of your ear.

“hmh” you nod, closing your eyes when you feel his lips on his neck, tongue darting out to taste your skin.

“this?” he whispers, one of his large hands palming your breast, pinching your nipple as the other hand softly travels over your mound.

You open your eyes “hyunjin”

“hm?” he continues to kiss at your neck.

“wait a second, please” you say, moving from your spot from between his legs.

“whats going on?” hyunjin asks concernedly, reaching for your arm, urging you to stradde him.

“I just feel like I have to tell you this” you say, playing with his hair at the back of his head.

“what are you so nervous about baby” he huffs, smiling when you shake your head.

“I- I don’t know” you sigh, his hands soothing up your back.

“I” you exhale shakily “I’m a virgin”

“huh?” he blinks, his eyes threatening to pop out of his skull.

“I mean I- I didn’t know” he runs his hands down your arms to take your hands in his “but I really don’t care if that’s what you were scared of”

“well, kind of” you grow a little smaller out of embarrassment.

“hey” he chuckles, pulling you a little higher on his lap “you didn’t actually think I’d laugh at you or something, did you?” he gets more serious.

“I don’t know, you always called me ‘miss goody shoes’” you mumble, pushing some hair behind his ear.

“baby I was joking” he cups your face “you know just like little boys who pull the little girls pigtails because that’s the only way they know how to get their attention”

You scoff “you never actually pulled on my hair though”

“yea, cause I don’t know if you’re into that yet” he quips, your jaw going slack.

“you little sh-“ you slap his shoulder, the water sloshing and some bubbles flying into the air as hyunjins laughter fills the room.

“I’m kidding” he laughs, catching your hand in his.

“I’m kidding” he whispers again when leaning in to press his lips to yours.

“you are my good girl though” he whispers against your lips, your heart stuttering at his words and your core clenching.

He bites his lip as if he knows what effect he has on you, you part your lips to say something but instead of words coming out, a little whimper tumbles from your lips.

“cute” he giggles before slotting his lips against yours, a groan tearing from his throat when you suck at his lower lip.

His arms circling your waist to pull your chest flush against his warm one, a groan tears from his throat when you suck on his lower lip.

You loop your arms around his neck and angle your head to deepen the kiss, gasping a little when you feel his erection poke against you pubic bone.

“sorry” he smiles coyly, reaching down to adjust himself.

“don’t worry I don’t want to wait forever, you know i-“ you explain.

“hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me, we’ll do whatever you want, I lo-“ he cuts himself off.

“you?” you repeat after him questioningly.

“I” he laughs “shit, uhm” his fingers draw circles on the skin of your hips.

"I've had a crush on you for like half a year now" he chuckles.

"huh?" you lock eyes.

"yea" he grins "remember when that one ravenclaw asshole called you a muggleblood and you let him have it six ways from sunday?" you giggle as you remember the incident.

"I got detention for that" you smile at him.

"yea but only because you turned his nose into a rhinos horn" he laughs with you.

“anyways, that’s when I was like… damn she’s cool as hell” he recalls, tucking a wet strand of your hair behind your hear.

“why did you never talk to me?” you ask, running your finger over his toned chest.

“I wanted to but you always seemed to avoid me and I didn’t want to annoy you” hyunjin closes his eyes, feigning regret.

“I had a crush on you so I was scared to be around you” you confess “but to be fair every girl in this grade has a crush on you” you roll your eyes playfully.

“well you’re the one in this bathtub with me right now” he grins, leaning forward to place a kiss on your collarbone.

You hum “yea I am”, when hyunjin licks at the base of your throat before gently sucking at the soft skin.

“wanna turn around again?” he cocks up one of his eyebrows.

“why?” you grin “so you can feel me up better?”

“exactly” he kisses your lips before you comply to his wish.

You lie your head back against his shoulder as he presses kisses to your temple, lifting one of your hands to caress the side of his face.

“how are these bubbles not dissolving?” you think out loud.

“magic” hyunjin whispers, kissing the skin under your ear.

You giggle when his hands move down your sides.

“can I touch you?” he asks quietly, kissing the slope of your neck.

“please” you mewl.

“you’re so perfect baby” hyunjin says, palming both of your breasts before moving one hand in between your legs, which you instinctively spread for him.

You can feel an amused puff of air against your neck “see? you are my good little girl”

Your stomach tightens in arousal when he brushes two fingers through your folds.

“aren’t you?” he mumbles against your skin after sucking a bruise onto your neck.

“yes” you moan when he draws circles over your clit.

“hyunjin” you whimper, the warmth in your core spreading into your limbs.

“I’ll make you feel good, baby” he rasps, his fingers picking up the pace.

You grab onto his bicep as you throw your head back, pleasure booming behind your lid as hyunjin suckles on your earlobe.

“fuck” you cry out.

“that’s it baby” he urges you on, rubbing at your sanity as you try not to fall into him completely.

“I’m close” you mutter, bucking your hips up to meet the friction of his fingers.

“come for me, babygirl” he whispers “I got you baby”

The knot in your stomach snaps and spikes of pleasure flood through your system as high pitched moans tear from your throat.

Hyunjin slows down his fingers when your legs start trembling and you gasp for air.

“good fucking girl” he chuckles, gently rubbing your folds before you hold his hand still, the overstimulation setting in.

“fuck” you groan before he tilts your head up to catch your lips with his.

Humming into the kiss before you break it, hyunjin bites his lip as he grins down at you.

You can feel the blood rushing through your face and quickly bury it in the crook of his neck; his throat vibrating with laughter.

“don’t go shy on me now, pretty girl” he mumbles, fingers dancing over your stomach.

“sorry” you giggle before looking up to kiss him again.

“don’t be sorry, you’re perfect” he kisses you back.

After getting out of the tub first and wrapping a towel around his hips, hyunjin helps you get out and wraps a towel around you and rubbing you dry vigorously.

“baby ow” you laugh and take the towel from him.

“sorry” he giggles, cradling your cheeks in his hands and pressing a wet smooch to your lips.

“eww” you laugh but he holds your face still in his hands “don’t ew your boyfriend”

You smile “apropos boyfriend”

“yea?” he releases your face, pushing some hair out of his face.

“I think I want to upgrade you from test trial boyfriend to real boyfriend” you say sheepishly, looking down.

“only if you’re up for it though, I don’t want you to leave me hanging-“

“yes” he interrupts you “I am up for it, like… super up for it” he steps even closer.

“really?” you ask as you wrap the large towel around your torso.

“yes!” he chuckles, kissing your cheek before moving to the other one before attacking your nose.

“okay! okay” you squeal.

“does that mean you’ll come to the game as my girlfriend and cheer me on and stuff?” he grins, wiggling his brows cutely.

“yes, yes I will” you promise before locking lips again.

a/n: hi there! thank u for being so patient with me! i was rly crammed up with life lol. anyways i feel like this was kinda lack luster, but i intend on writing a thrid part as the finale of a trilogy i guess lol.

so thank you sm for reading if you’ve made it this far, lots of love to you <3

(also unedited so pls dont come for me im tireddd lol)

#this was so bad iowdepfh #but i dont wanna keep yall waiting for so long ah im sorry #im a faliure lolz #stray kids #skz #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz hogwarts!au #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin #slytherin!hyunjin #hyunjin hogwarts!au #stray kids hogwarts!au #hyunjin fluff #silver solution

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for being Murphy’s best friend and dating Raven

Raven Reyes x reader

warnings:

a/n: ah, yes, im in love with this woman but mostly bc i just relate her sm ahhhh, also FUCK canon i do what i want and this is only until like beginning of s5

prompt: anonymous: “Hiii i hope you havent closed the requests yet ! Could you write some headcanons for the 100 for being murphys best friend and dating raven ?”

murphy was a bit of a dick in the beginning, but you tolerated him

you actually had the best luck getting through to him during your time on the ground

“y/n, can you get murphy to shut the hell up and do some work, for god’s sake?”

“on it”

and when you met raven, he could see right through you

nothing but endless teasing from him

“you like her” *poking your side*

“cut it out, murphy!”

she was stuck in two love triangles, you, her and finn, then clark, finn and her

and there were plenty of obstacles between you and her

especially when you were taken to mount weather and she was left alone with murphy, who she ended up hating

and he nearly ruined your chances with her bc she hated him so much

murphy had to calm her down and explain something to her

“hey, y/n would kill me if they knew i told you this, but listen. they like you a lot, im serious. y/n is so jealous of finn, they think you deserve so much more than that. i hope to god that they’re okay right now because i want to see them be happy. and you dont have to like me, alright? just...if you can, give y/n a chance”

raven was thinking about that all the way until you escaped mt weather

when she was captured there, you flipped out trying to get her away from the doctors trying to hurt her

the second you both were free, she ran up to you and kissed you

it was unreal to you

“murphy told me everything”

“that son of a bitch! but, sweet! it all worked out...let’s get out of here”

the relationship was a bit tense at first since there was a bit of resentment towards murphy, but you understood why

and she didn’t hold anything towards you

soon, murphy left with jaha and placed a goodbye note in your room

raven had to console you after he was gone, you were hurt that he decided to leave you behind, but he wanted you and raven to be happy

and you were, you really were

“babe, gimme a kiss” *kiss raven on the cheek* “one more?” *kiss* “another?”

she was upset she hadn’t been with you sooner

helping her while she worked around camp jaha

“can you hold that part while i fix this, please?”

“god, you’re so hot when you’re covered in grease”

*chuckling* “just get over here, babe”

everyone making fun of your “honeymoon phase”

staying up late together and being all sweet and cuddly and shit

crawling on top of her and holding her hands while the two of you talked, it was a bit of a normalcy for you two

she’d go on and on for hours over her work and ideas she had

you enjoy her passion for her work

she got very angry sometimes though, but you always calmed her down with a long, passionate kiss and some gentle words

she loves having her back rubbed!

raven is no doubt The Big Spoon no i will not be taking constructive criticism

going on drives with her (to keep her company on missions) (and protect her bc u worry)

raven lies about how her leg feels, so you have to be real with her and make sure she doesn’t push herself too much

she gets aggravated but she understands you’re just looking out for her

when ALIE took ahold of her you lost it, you were so worried and everyone could see it

they had to hold you back from her bc they were scared she’d hurt you

when she was strapped to the bed at niylah’s, they made you stay in the other room because she was saying some...hurtful things

“bring y/n in here, i’ve got something to tell them. Y/N! I’LL NEVER LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVED FINN”

eek

crazy ass time trying to get her to snap out of it

but they did and she cried and apologized again and again

you obviously forgave her, you love her

yadda yadda ALIE got switched off and you found out that there was another apocalypse coming your way

murphy came back too!

“hey, hey, im so sorry i left you behind”

raven was mad at him for leaving (and shooting her)

“you really trust him again? just like that?”

“he’s my best friend, raven...”

her putting up w him for you

and having to brainstorm some contingencies

you and her worked best together

when you weren’t busy flirting

“raven, stop getting distracted, we gotta figure out how to survive!”

“sorry, i just cant concentrate when my significant other is right there and not kissing me”

u guys are so cute

blahhh blahhh blahhh while she was working in becca’s lab, you were setting the bunker up with murphy

“at least now you cant run away from me when this thing gets locked”

“oh, real funny”

*repaired friendship hug*

clarke pulling you aside and telling you raven hasn’t left the lab yet

the squad rushing there to save her, and ultimately deciding the only way you guys were surviving was if you went up

“think we can pull this off, babe?”

“are you kidding me? do you know who you’re talking to?”

that’s ur cocky gf u love so much

bam you did it and you had to start your new life on the ring

lots of relationship counseling with emori and murphy

she asked you about him a lot

“what was john like before he left skaikru?”

“the same as now, just a little meaner and less loyal”

raven and you had a pretty awesome time up there, you grew so much more closer and she even proposed!!!

“i dont have a ring but were living on one so does that count?”

murphy was gonna be your best man it was decided

and at least he was getting along with your girlfriend fiancée much better

fr tho you’d literally die for each other and thats the end of it mwah

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff //

#raven reyes x reader #raven reyes imagine #raven reyes #the 100 raven #the 100 x reader #the 100 imagine #the 100

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freshstartbaby · 4 years ago

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🎧 Body - Syd

I watched my house, cardbord on the ground, like me, leg crossed. White walls, a little smell of vinegar. Thats what I used to finally clean up everything.

Why do I feel like shit ? I mean one part of me cant wait to be in my new place. But the other ? I really feel like I kind of failed here. I got a job, two to be exact, I can provide for myself. I got few friends and thats it. I was wondering if my mum will ever know if I left the town. Maaaan I got to stop overthinking.

It was 8pm and I was waiting for Theo's call. Thanks to god he told me he will help me wih the moving. His help was so precious. Like always. My phone rang with « Theo 🤍 » on my screen . I picked up

« Sup mister T » I said softly « Hi Rob, you good ? » he answered « I am actually, and you ? » « Good. So you really goin to leave me, you know you can still change your mind » « No way, but you know you will still be in my mind » « And in your heart. Who do you think you are ? » he started to joke « Man where are you ? » I said rolling my eyes with a smile on face « There is a litlle bit of traffic. I be there in 10 minutes. But I think the man who will help us is already there. I fowarded him your number. Did he call ? »

I checked my phone, no missed call

« Nah he didn't » « Ok, get ready I be there soon » « Thank tou Theo » « Everything for you » he hang up

I shook my head slowley left to right. He was so kind to me. He can't be real. Me and Theo knew ourself since 8 years now. He was there to help and provide when no one could. He always was very protective and he is actually the one who gave me my first job: dancer in a club. It wasn't my goal job but I could dance and it will help me paying my bills. Few years later he also refered me in company to work as a personnal assistant. I managed myself to then become a communication assistant. When you look clother, without him, I probably will end up as a cracked or worse.

When we met I was 16 and he was 22. It was a very protective relationship. But the older we get, the akward it became. I mean physically he turned to a man as i turned to a young women. And even if he always shows me mad respect, the way he was watching and talking to me changed. Not in a bad way, but I could feel there was more. I aint gon lie, he is good looking, got money and got pure heart. But i couldnt wiling to lost him if we turned into a relationship. He was one of few people around me. Aint ready to loose one of them.

When I told him that I decided to move in LA, maaaan, he wasn't down for it. But as always, he helped me. He got fews relations so we find a cute flat quickly than I thought. The place was smooth and warm. We flew to LA to visit it, and i actually loved it. So now here I am waiting for a friend of his to move my stuff to LA. Let me get it straight. I aint no baby. I can take care of myself. But when it comes to Theo, he always wants to help. And I aint gonna lie, it feel good to be take care of.

The ring belled, I stood up to open the door. He looked at me, I looked at him.

« Can I help you ? » rising an eyebrow acting like I didn't know him « Stop playing » he said moving in my place « Hi » I said to the man following Theo « Robyn this is Eric, Eric this The New York leaver »

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. Eric and Theo helped me to put my stuff in the truck. It was quickly made thanks to them. Also even if I hadnt much things I droped a lot. Eric told me that they will arrive the next monday in my new place. I thanked him as he left when I felt someone behind me. I turned around found Theo on his phone.

« First of all you didn't say hi »

I pulled him softly in a hug. His hands wrapped my shoulder as he kissed my cheek softly

« Then tell me where do I drop you ? » he said « Alex's place » « Lets go »

He put my suitcase in his trunck and we headed to Alexendra's place. I sold my car few weeks before so he proposed me to drop me where I needed yesterday.

Alexandra is one of my best friend. She's like a sister to be honest. We know each other for like forever and she always be down for me. Im stayin at her place tonight so I can catch my flight tommorow.

The road was silent but confortable. Theo and I like to be quiet sometines. We're the type of people who arent afraid of silence. As we arrived to Alexendra's place we stayed a little in the car.

« You need help with the suit case ? » « Na Im good, but thank you. Thank you for everything. It means a lot» I look at him « Stop saying this like its a goodbye » « Im not » « You better »

We pulled into a thight hug «You know I'm always be around and if you need to come back my door is open» « I hope it will be fine dont say that »

He look at me kiss my cheek and said

« Take care » « You too Theo »

I got off the car, took my suitcase and watched him leave. As we disapear on the corner I called Alex.

« Yes baby » « Im here, remind me your code » « You still dont remember it, you do it on purpose » « Guuuurl what is it ?» « 7110 » « Thank youuuuuu »

I taped the code and got to her place

« Sup baby » « Wassup baby, how you doin ?» « Good and you ? » « Everything is alright, I mean my best friend is leaving in an another town but Im good » « Guuuurl, it is for the better » « I know that, Im just getting emotional » « Dont do that » « Im trying, I swear ! How did you came ? You took a uber ? » « Nah, Theo droped me »

She set down on her large cozy couch eying me with a small smile

« What ? » I asked « Noooothing ! » she tapped the place next to her so I can take place « You just goin to sit down and tell me what's popin between you and this white daddy, finally» she said swith a smirk « Nothing is popin, I already told you that » i said sitting next to her « But you got to admit he is good lookin » « I never said he isnt » « Maybe a little bit skinny but he is still handsome » « He is. » « So he never try to own that » she said pointing at myself « And dont try to tell me no, I saw him plenty time trying to get you. » « Alex, it is not goin to hape- « « Whyyyyyyyy » « Because I dont want to » I said laughin « GURL IS YOU GAY ?» « Oh my god. Alexendra. » « No because if you are it is ok. But you need to tell me, so I can introduce him to friend of mine. Its such a waste » « Whatever » I said looking at her smiling

This girl is so crazy. Full of good vibe. Always pushing me to my best. She is fam yall. Our phones started buzzing at the same time. It was a whatsap phone call from our conversation « Mexico 🥵 ».

With some friends we decided to go on a trip to Mexico. For the big part, I knew them from school or club. As we grew older all of us took different ways but still got mad love for eachother. This week trip was the way to link up. I didnt knew some people like David, Florian and Veronica but everything went well during the organisation so I wasnt « afraid » that they were annoying.

The trip is next Monday so we schedule this video chat to make a last check. With all the stuff with my moving I almost forget about this call. Alex and I were together so I decided not to answer from my phone and step clother to her so we can both be on her screen

« Hi » « Wassup beauties » Alexander says

We all said hi to each other and waited to see if someone was missing.

« Who is missing » I asked « Flo is not here » Betty said « Damn this sleeping guy, let me text him » Alexander answered

As he decided to text him, a new window poped in our screen revealing a big white man shirtless, it seems like he was in his bed.

« My bad, sorry for my lateness, wassup guys » he said in a low voice

I looked at the screen, then at Alex, then the screen again and falled into the catch moving my hand to show to Alex that this man was foooine

We giggle few seconds before getting back to our serious faces.

« Florian that is it ? » Alex asked « Yup » « Time is money you owe us all a drink when we get to the mexico » « Maaaan dont play me like that, I was taking a nap, gym killed me today» he said

Of course he was goin to the gym, look at this chest. I tried to fix my self when we all talked for like an hour about last informations, who will arrive when, who shares room, what type of activites we wanted to do. I cant wait for this trip to be honest. I dont travel that much. I could release the stress from my moving, my new job and the new town I will be living in.

« Rob you still in New York ?» Michael asked « Yeees, my fligt is tomorrow » « Where you goin ? » Betty asked « Moving to LA » I said softly « LA GANG MY MAN ! » Florian shouted « Thats great, really big move » Alexander said « Finger crossed » Veronica « Dont worry, as wherever it will be ok if you work hard enough » Florian said « Oh dont worry she is a hard worker » Alex said miming a blow job

I snaped her head as everyone shared an hard laugh. Few minutes later we hang up. I went to the bathroom, washed myself, my tooth and changed myself in something more confortable. I went back to the living room and find Alexandra on the phone. By the way she was smiling and laughing I could tell it was Alexander. Yeah. This gurl find a boyfriend with the same name. That's kind of cute but it's also so corny. She hanged up, stood uo and went to the kitchen

« Sooooo » « What do you want again ? » i said a smirk in my face « I was wondering » she looked at me with a vicious smile « What is it Alex ? » « Are you down for some dick in Mexico » « You are something else you know that » « Im just asking ! There will be latino guys, foreigner and gurl this man Florian, he is free like the wind » «How do you know that ? » « I asked Alexander » « Mmmmh » « Mmmmh ? Gurl when is the lastime you had a man making you feel right ? I aint talking about relationship because that is another level and I know you trying to put yourself first since...» « Yea no. I'm not ready but let me think » « The fact that you have to think is not ok, you know that if the sexual frustration is not evacueted it can damaged you » « I got toys dont worry » I said putting my finger in a peace sign while im leaving the kitchen

I went to her guest bedroom, sitted on the bed and put my durag on. After sliding under the sheets I did my breath exercise so I could fall asleep faster but I couldn't. It was these exercises or sleeping pills. But I try to use them less and less since few month. They knocked me hard to hard man. After 30 minutes of try, I took my phone and opened Instagram. I scrolled my screen without being focused at all, laugh at fews memes and double tap some post. I tought about what Alex told me. It's true. It been a while since I havent give a man his chance. It didn't went well the last time. Ok here we go overthinking. I shook my hand thinking of how dumb I was when I tought about Florian. He was fine its true but you know men are trash. At least men I have a crush on 😭. I tapped « florian » in the research bar to see if I could find him. I didn't. Im defenatly not a FBI member. I will ask to Alex tomorrow, or not, it's not a good idea.

——-

I was hugging Alexandra thighly at the airport. The voice called the passagers of my flight to get ready.

« I'm goin to miss you crazy ass » I whispered « I'm goin to miss you more Robyn, but stop being weak before I start crying » « Come on aint nobody goin to cry » I push her shoulder « we're tough girls remember ? » « Yea but I wrote you a letter » she gave me a letter as I look at her ready to make fun of her « You wrote me a letter, you must be in love with me » « Of course I am, yo you're my friend soulmate » « Ok you gon make me cry now » « Go get your flight »

I tried to open the letter when she took my hand

« The fuck is you doin, you have to read it in your flight, or when you arrive to your new place but not now » « Okaaaaaaay mrs emotional »

I kissed her cheek and grabed my suit case before leaving

« See you in Tulum baby ! »

I put a peace sign above my head a went take my flight.

As I settled in my seat, I leaned my head back to the couch. Here we go baby. You can do this. You got this. It's goin to be fine. I was motivated myself when my phone buzzed. I watched my phone screen and see that Theo sent me a vocal. I put my AirPods on tap on my screen to listen his whatsap vocal message.

James. Theo James. : « You're in the plane ? »

I send him a quick answer

Robyn ✨: Yup 🛫

James. Theo James. : Ok

I watched the screen as I saw « James. Theo James is writing » when a big as message droped. Oh my god. He is goin to make me cry. Or worse. I rubbed my forehead before start reading.

James. Theo James. :

« Robyn. My baby. I know your flight is getting ready to take off. So I'm writing this to you so you can be ready for this new page.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

You're smart, kind, open minded,fierce, talented, reliable, honest and a fighter. I know life ain't did good to you lately, and it's destroying me to see you leave but baby it's a fresh start. Leave all the madness, the pain and the self doubt where you at because LA is goin to be fire baby. No more drama, no more pathetic boyfriend, no more struggling. Put yourself above everything, because you deserve it. Keep your mental healthy. Communicate more, talk free and never be afraid to make people to ear your voice.

As I always say to you, even if the blood don't link us, you mean the world to me. Whenever you need anything blow my phone. I will always have an eye on you even if I know you are and you are becoming a boss a bitch woman every single day.

I know you are goin to kill it.

Text me when you arrive to your new home

I will come visit you in few months

Theo 🤍 »

I closed my eyes, bitted my lips and hold my phone on my chest. Don't cry, don't cr- too late. Tears were all over my face as I try to mute myself. Even I tried to hide it, I was feeling shitty. And those words just gave me the feeling of being discovered. I don't know how it was possible. Even if Theo and I were closed I have difficulties to talk out when I'm not feeling myself. And with this message I knew that all this time he knew how I felt but give me my space.

LA be good to me please.

—-

🎧 1 pound - Brymo

The sunlight woke me this morning. I really need to buy curtains. I mean in the rest of the place it's not that important, but wake this way is so uncomfortable. I like the darkness in my bedroom you know ? And all this light, god chill out 🤣

I stood up and head ou to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. I watched the board where I wrote my to do list yesterday night. Yeaaaa i'm trying to be more disciplined woman. I mean organized but sometimes I get too lazy. Like if I invented the word lazy myself.

End the bathroom Shopping at the supermarket Look for a car End the suitcase Work out (you can do this)

I laugh at myself knowing that I will probably not doing the last one. I washed my dishes and turn on the speaker to get in a better mood. I clean a little some stuff since there was still some cardboard here and there. I find myself dancing in front the big mirror in one of the corridor when my phone rang. I didn't know the number so I turned of the music and clear my throat.

« Robyn Matthew, how can I help you » « Hi Robyn this is William. I am with Olivia, you're on speaker. How are you ? » « Hello Robyn »

Ow my new bosses.

« Oh hello to both of you, I'm great thank you to ask. How about you two ? » « We're good ourself thank you. Have you settled yet ? » « Mmh there is still few unopened cardboards but I'm good » « Good to ear that » « You will love LA » Olivia said « I hope so, how can I help you ? » « Well Robyn we were wondering, sorry to ask again but weren't you supposed to start today ?»

My eyes grew wide as my eyebrow start dancing. I wasn't supposed to start today hell no

« I don't think so, I mean I asked to the RH department to postponed my arrival since I have a trip planned » « Oh my baaaaaaaaaad » Olivia shooted « What is it » he asked to Olivia I think « I totally forgot to tell you, Cindy told me few weeks ago but it disappeared from my mind »

My heart stoped racing fast when I told them

« You scared me ! » « I'm so sorry Robyn, William I'm sorry too » « Oh it's ok, you owe us a coffe when she arrives » « Deal » she said laughing « You better note that, or you will forget it too » « Very funny » « Anyway sorry to have bothered you Robyn » William said « It's fine » « Where are you going ? » Olivia asked « Sorry ? » « You said you are goin on a trip, where is it ? »

I twisted my face. How is that suppposed to concern them ? Robyn stay open, be nice, they're just trying to be nice.

« Tulum » « Oh Mexico, well lucky you » « Oh my god, I wish I could have holidays to a place like this » « Anyway Robyn, enjoy you're trip and come back to us resourced. You can't wait to work with you » « Thank you, see you soon » « Bye »

I hang up, a weird feeling in my guts. I mean they were nice. But I'm not really use to have this kind of conversation with my bosses. I tought that they were a good duo both of them. I find myself a little anxious about having two bosses but it's goin to be fine.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

I got this. I wanted to turn back on the music. So I scrolled my screen when I saw an Instagram notification.

@bignasty wants to follow you

My face twisted again. Big nasty ? What the hell is that. I'm sure this is a porn count, or a pervet who will try to slide in my Dm. So many weird people on social medias. Thanks god the private button exists so I can control borders 😂 I clicked on it when I saw his face.

Wow.

I took few step back to my couch as my hand was on my chest. Jesus Christ. I found myself put my hand on my mouth so I don't scream and laugh akwardly. God. It was Florian. I mean I think. No no no it was him. How can you forget a face like this. I hold my breath as scrolled down his feed. This man was... l have no word. I rubbed my eyes trying to get back to earth, with a big dumb smile on my face when my phone rang

Xandra 💍 is calling

I picked up and put her on the speaker. I said hi to her in a low voice, I was feeling like I'm out of breath

« GUUUUUUUURL » she screamed « Wassup » « Did Florian asked you on Ig ? » « He did. » « GIRRRL DID YOU SAW THESE PICTURES ?!!!! » « Alexandra, i was checking him when you called » « GURRRRRRL IF YOU DONT EAT HIM ON THIS TRIP I'M KILLING YOU »

I start rubbing my eye again. He was something else. God. Why do I feel this. Then I found myself playing with my finger, where my engagement ring used to be.

It gave me a quick reminder.

« Ok he is super hot, but don't count on me for that » « You're such a child when you act like that. You know what, I'm sure you pantie is already soaking looking at his pic, so just wait. When he is goin in front of you there will be no « don't count on me for that » » « shut up » « Have you end your suite case ? » « Not yet, I think it will be handle this evening» « Ok look listen to me wisely. I don't know what you choose but switch it all up with sexiest stuff » « I'm tired of you »

We stayed on the phone for like an hour. You know how it is when besties are on the phone. All the day she kept teasing me with Florian but I didn't give attention. But I wanted to make her laugh a little so I teased her with a screen and a meme

She hit me back with a message

« gurl this is too much, you really goin to miss this chance »

What chance ? He just followed me on Instagram. I didn't even accept him yet. He must have a girlfriend, or be a fuck boy. Maybe is he gay. Ok Robyn overthinking AGAIN. It's goin to be cute holidays. I don't want to mess this up.

—— 3836 words

Wassup guys ?

How do you feel about this beginning ?

Is everything understable ? I'm French so you know you girl is struggling a little 🙈

Do not hesitate to give me feedbacks, react, and all that stuff

Next step, Tulum baby 🥵

Take care

NEXT PART

#fanfic #florian munteanu #florian munteanu x black reader #big nasty #bignasty #freshstart

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bananiell · 4 years ago

Text

rapper hc part 1

hi guys!!! so i’ve had this idea in my head forever and just didn’t have anyone to share it with but i told hedy about it yesterday and she scammed me into creating tumblr acc and sharing it here lol but when i went to write it down i realized that i have a lot more to share so it’s gonna be just the 1st part for now, which was the only thing i had in my mind originally but now i’m working on expanding it.

i have a lot of ideas from the songs and this is no exception. this time the inspiration was NF - an amazing rapper and song writer. his songs uncover so much trauma and the things he raps and sings about are so real for a lot of us that you can’t help relating to them. NF’s real name is Nathan which also played part in this idea. lyrics of the songs are what the hc is based on so please listen to the songs i mention and pay attention to the lyrics.

ok i don’t wanna waste more of your time bc the hc is big as it is so without further ado let’s dive into it. p.s. it’s the first time i do a thing like that so im sorry in advance for any inconsistencies or the general drama:)))

TW!! (everything is just mentioned, nothing too graphic) physical abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, alcohol, drinking, drug addiction, overdose, death from overdose, kidnapping, torture (beating, skin burning, cuts – all of it not descriptive), violence, breaking one’s own bones, putting bastards to prison. also NF’s lyrics got a lot of triggers and cover very serious issues so if you decide to listen to some more of his music be careful with that. some of the things mentioned in the songs i’ve used here: depression, grave digging, guns, blood (in a non-violent way).

neil’s story: he grew up in an abusive family. his father was drinking a lot and abused him physically and verbally saying that he was nothing and nobody and would not amount to anything in his life. he despised neil’s love for music and laughed at him. he also hit him more when he noticed anything related to neil’s passion (neil humming some melody or listening to music in his headphones or trying to create smth). his mother tried to protect him but she couldn’t do much bc of her drug addiction. she overdosed during his last year in hs and surprisingly left him some money. when Nathan found out about that he was enraged and beat the shit out of neil so he would give him that money. to run away from his father neil goes to university to study his passion – music. he’s always had some kind of knack for creating music and rapping and now he could explore it more and not be afraid of nathan. he tries to overcome his trauma and even makes some friends (the foxes).

during the freshman year andrew and neil spend a lot of time together. they find the reflections of their hurt in each other and they find understanding. they share some of their past and their traumas; their view of the world and their dreams. andrew feels like he is falling because he’s never met anyone like neil. slowly there are soft touches and furtive glances but neither is ready yet to cross that line.

neil seemingly gets better even though there are a lot of hard moments on the way. however at the end of his freshman year nathan finds him and he and his cronies kidnap and beat neil up for Mary’s money keeping him in the basement for several days. this money is all neil’s got to survive and build his life so he doesn’t say anything and thinks of the ways to run. im not good with making up torture techniques and nathan is not so imaginative here but they still leave neil with scars on his face, his torso and hands (mostly burns from cigarettes, iron, cuts from glass bottles). by the end of the third day neil is physically and morally exhausted so he gives up and transfers all the money to them (he’s got a little of it left on his other acc) and they drunk on their win leave him in the basement. he breaks his fingers to get out of the handcuffs and gets out through the small basement window and runs outside. not long after that he collapses from all the exhaustion and blood loss and someone notices him. they call the cops and the ambulance. after that nathan and his cronies are put into prison and neil is left with almost no money. he leaves the state and a year later with a lot of effort, practicing and self-advertising he successfully signs with a music label under the name N/A.

andrew’s story: tilda didn’t give him up but was a shitty mother (obv) with drug addiction. andrew and aaron’s parents were divorced and their father didn’t live with them but tried to be there when he could. andrew started creating music as an outlet bc tilda’s boyfriends were physically abusing him and he tried to protect aaron from that. he and aaron were close bc they only had each other but andrew still didn’t share his trauma with aaron trying to protect him from that hell. of course he was only a child and couldn’t always take aaron’s place in beating but most of it lay on him. while at hs they became a band with the help of nicky and performed with their songs were they could and tried to self-advertise and wymack (he’s the head of the music dep at uni and also one of the profs) noticed them and offered them partial scholarships. they had some money left after tilda’s overdose (they lived for some time with their father after her death) so they went to get actual education on music production (at this point I don’t care how plausible it sounds, just don’t think too much about it ok lol)

the story:

ok so nathaniel once went to uni with the foxes (is there such a major as music production and singing or smth?) but at the end of his freshman year he disappeared. he was not very sociable so no one really cared where’d he go except for the foxes with whom he became somewhat friends. 1-2 years later he pops up as a new young and very talented rapper named N/A and he’s got burn scars all over his face and hands which he doesn’t hide so very intriguing right??? nobody knows much about him and that his name stands for Neil Abram so they take it literally as ‘no data available’ or smth (hedy also proposed “not applicable”!). foxes are like WTF we know that guy!! and wymack is also like isn’t that nathaniel??

Andrew’s become a huge fan of neil’s music. only renee knows that andrew’s been listening to neil’s songs non stop bc he can relate so hard to them and they just hit him right where it hurts. at the end of their last year they have like a huge final concert or smth and wymack organizes it to be held in one of the palmetto clubs. at the same time neil is coming back to Palmetto bc he is nostalgic of the time he spent in the uni with the foxes and he wants to escape his real life for a moment. he wants to visit the city and reminisce and he believes that none of the foxes really remembers him bc he was a nobody. I know the plot is getting ridiculous but bear with me

so it’s the evening of the gig and the students perform their music (songs, instrumentals, as solos/duets/bands etc). andrew majorly produces rap songs at this point and he performs in duet with renee with their song (NF’s “Can you hold me”). everyone is like shit it was so good but then andrew performs his solo song (NF’s “How could you leave us”). aaron is standing there and is a fucking mess bc he never knew andrew was that affected by their past and their mother’s death bc he never showed it and didn’t ever want to talk about his issues. (be warned this is a heart-wrenching song and it fits fucking perfectly). after that andrew almost runs outside for a smoke, trying to light a cigarette with his shaking fingers and thats when he sees a strange all covered up figure in a black hoodie entering the club but also cautiously looking over their shoulder like they don’t want to be caught. andrew ever the protective one follows him but loses in the crowd of the low lit club. 10 mins later there is quiet and the figure goes on stage – obv its neil. “Intro III” starts playing.

andrew is in awe and he’s never heard this song before so it must be new. he also never saw neil perform live so he cant really move bc the performance is so powerful and magnetic. *neils sitting on one of the disconnected amplifiers in the dark and the music starts building up. At 2:00 of the song after the words “I mean, what are you, outta your mind? 'Cause both of us will be, come on, let's go outside!” he pulls off his hood, his movements are fierce and aggressive and he’s almost screaming in the mic. at words “You had me scared for a second, I thought we were diggin' my grave” theres his fathers smile, vicious, crazy and cruel – thats how he remembered it spending 3 days in that basement. (fyi in the song NF’s talking to his fear and they go back and forth).*

andrew is mesmerized, the foxes are in shock, the whole crowd does not understand who that is but they watch with open mouths. the song ends and the crowd goes wild. that’s when neil starts talking.

“hello palmetto. this is a great concert you got and some of you guys are fucking talented. my name is neil and I used to go to PSU a long time ago so you prolly don’t know me but professor wymack out there let me come here on this stage and sing a couple of my songs for you. one of them is my old song, and another is new but they both tell my story and I hope you like’em”.

people cheer and applaud and after a moment another song starts playing. its the one andrew knows (it’s Paralyzed). the atmosphere gets way calmer but everyone is just as hypnotized. during the chorus neil is standing under the dim lights, head turned up facing the ceiling, eyes closed, his scars are illuminated. he looks almost peaceful but there’s pain and apathy showing on his face and in his posture. the song ends and neil leaves the stage. andrew cant make his legs move but he has to meet neil (he just realized that neil’s shared his name with them and it wasn’t “nathaniel” and andrew’s got so many questions).

he forces himself to move and almost runs backstage. neil is already leaving but andrew stops him by grabbing him by his arm. they stand there looking at each other, andrew panting, his body shaking a little, neil wide-eyed.

“Andrew…” he whispers obviously surprised by seeing Andrew here.

“Nath- Neil.” suddenly Andrew cant ask a single question. he’s got so many that it feels like a waste of time to ask them one by one. Neil looks down at where Andrew is still grabbing his arm and Andrew lets go off him like its burnt him. “You are here” he lets out on the exhale like he still can’t believe it.

Neil averts his eyes and puts the hood of his sweater on his head so that the shadows obscure half of his face. “Yeah” he replies and after a few seconds follows with hesitant “How are you?” It is a stupid question, Andrew thinks but he answers nonetheless with simple fine. Neil holds his head low, and Andrew can’t help but wonder if Neil doesn’t wanna look him in the eyes after his disappearance so many years ago or if he simply doesn’t want to see Andrew’s face. Both options hurt him but he doesn’t have the heart to ask.

the end of part 1. come yell at me on twt or here hihi

#aftg #aftg headcanon #NF #akathemusicgod #rapper!neil #rapper!andrew #hcs #rapper au #rapper hc #andreil

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90sgrungewriter · 7 years ago

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6. Untitled - Eddie Vedder

Status: Unedited

Needless to say, most of the day was spent creating wacky works of art with Eddie. You's started with big scraps of paper and combined your minds together, and created some pretty wicked paintings. You smoked 2 joints by this time, so you both were pretty high, but as the time passed, you were starting to burn out.

"Wanna take a break? I'll order us some take-out." You stood up and made your way over to your kitchen and opened the drawer where all your takeout flyers were.

"Where from?" The voice cam from almost directly behind you. It startled you so you whipped around and noticed he was standing just a few feet away from you, hands in his pocket.

"Sorry, didn't think you scared that easy." He winked. You rolled your eyes.

"Well, now you know."

He met you at the island in the center of your kitchen and you looked to decide together where you would order from.

"Okay wait. So what are we thinking? Pizza, Greek, Chinese...?" you turned your head to the side to look at him.

"Mm, Chinese food sounds pretty good to me, right now." He said as he rested a hand on his slim tummy. You couldn't help but agree. It really did.

"Totally agree. What about Chen's Village? They have the best chicken chow mein." You gave him the brochure for the restaurant, and he took a few seconds to look it over, before approving.

"Alright, I'll have the fried tofu with mixed vegetables. You want me to call?" He offers. You nodded meekly.

"Please? I hate talking on the phone. This weird phobia of mine, I guess."

"Its ok, I'll call." He smiled. You pointed him to the phone that lay on the table and he quickly made the call. While he was doing so, you sneaked away to your room to grab your wallet from your purse. He payed for breakfast, so you thought it only to be fair if you were to pay for dinner. At the same time, you grabbed your fluffy blanket at the same time.

When you came back, you decided to clean up the living room a little. A few minutes later he came to help. After that was done, you tossed him the TV remote, and he plopped down on your couch and turned it on.

You were about to sit down too when you heard the doorbell. Before Eddie could even stand up you rushed to the door. The delivery person was a nice older lady, so you made sure to tip her a few extra bucks. She thanked you kindly, and you grabbed the food and shut the door. You turned to Eddie giving you a slight glare, arms crossed.

"You had this planned, didn't you?"

"Maybe." You winked.

"Couldn't you just let me be a nice guy and pay for you?" He said in a voice you knew he was picking on you.

"Oh shut up. You did pay for breakfast this morning, so can't you just let me be a nice girl and pay for you this time around?"

"Goddamn double standards." He cursed. You gently punched his arm with your free hand, and he swiped the food right out of your grasp.

"Hah! Its all mine now. " You chased him around your tiny apartment, the both of you laughing like crazy.

Finally catching up to him, you wrapped your arms around his torso, lifting his taller frame right off the ground.

"Hahaha, oh my god!" Eddie shouted laughing hysterically.

You set him down on the couch, ripping the big box of food from his hands this time.

"I cant believe you just picked me up. You're so tiny! Where do you hide all your muscles?" He stood up, and poked at your arms with his soft hands. You giggled as he continued to do so and followed you to the kitchen.

"I actually used to hit the gym a lot in whenever I was in high school. I went through this intense phase of getting fit, I used to always get picked on about my weight,and I never had a boyfriend so I always felt insecure about it. Anyway, I hit the gym and hit it hard. Got in pretty good shape, now I can kick ass, I guess." There was a lot missing to that story, but you didn't feel like venturing too far into it. Eddie nodded his head.

"But you're so tiny." He lifted your arm.

"Yeah, its been at least a year since I've been. Just caught up with life. Between work and school, and trying to keep somewhat of a social life...the gym just isn't much of an option for me right now." You smiled, taking out plates for your food. Once everything was set, Eddie grabbed both of your plates and brought them to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. He grabbed the remote flipping through the channels.

"Want something to drink Ed? Water, beer, a coke?"

"Maybe just some water please." He turned and shot you a toothy smile. While you filled the glasses with ice, you thought about the days events. You spent the whole day with Eddie today, and really enjoyed it. You hoped he wasn't just staying because he thought it would be rude if he left. But things seemed to be going right for you, for once. So, this one time, you convinced yourself that it wasn't true. You told yourself Eddie finds a good friend in you, and he enjoyed your company, as you did his. You poured cold water into the glasses and made your way to the living room, passing one to Eddie.

"Thank you." He looked at you and took a large gulp.

"You're welcome. Find anything interesting?" You sat down and wrapped your fuzzy blanket around the lower half of your body. Your legs were folded under your but and your body leaned toward the arm of the couch to your left. Eddie laughed.

"Comfy?"

"I am now." You laughed. As you were about to reach to grab your plate on the coffee table, Eddie beat you to it and set it gently down in your lap. You smiled up at him, he was so nice.

“Such a gentleman." He nodded, digging into his own plate of food.

“I try to be.”

Your eyes shifted to the TV to see you were watching some documentary about bugs. What a guy.

"I can change it if this grosses you out. There wasn't much else on." He laughed, mouthful of food.

"Its fine, I know. My channels suck. Thats why I own so many movies." You pointed to the corner where all your DVD's were stocked messily on a shelf. He nodded.

"Maybe we should watch one of those, then." He looked at you.

"Sure, you can check them out. Maybe eat first though, so your food doesn't get cold."

"Way ahead of ya." He winked again. Fuck off. Now he was going to start winking at you too? Like his cheekbones weren't enough. Goddamnit.

You cleared your throat and continued to eat.

"Thanks for spending the day with me Ed." You spoke, after a few moments of silence. Your food was delicious, and judging by the look on his face you could tell he felt the same way.

"Anytime."

"Oh, don't say that. I get pretty lonely quite often." You teased.

"Yeah, well me too.." He said softly, a small smile upon his lips. You observed him out of the corner of your eye, something you had been doing quite a lot, but couldn't help yourself. He was such an interesting guy.

"What do you mean by that?" You questioned curiously. He stayed quiet for a few moments, probably trying to word something properly in his mind.

"I don't know..I haven't every really spoken about my feelings to anyone. Or anything to anyone for that matter. Sometimes, barely even Beth." Ah, her. Almost forgot about her for a while. Almost. You scolded yourself mentally. Don't be such a bitch, Dani. The poor guy might spill something important to you, and all you can think about is your jealousy over his ex girlfriend? You were disappointed in yourself. He continued to speak.

"Talking about it to someone, well, you...just makes things seem more real. Maybe, some things I've been trying not to think about for a long time." He seemed very conflicted. You gently placed your hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort him in a subtle way.

"Beth...She uh-well...I always made it seem like we had the perfect relationship. Like she was perfect, and if anything, she could do better than me." He finished up his plate of food, and set it gently on the table in front of him. You removed your hand to place your own plate, which still had some food left, but you didn't want to be rude while he was talking, down on the table also. You re-adjusted your position so that you were now facing him, legs crossed, blanket still wrapped around your legs. You suddenly remembered when you told him he could talk to you if need be, but you didn't actually think he would. But here he is, ready to probably tell you some serious shit. You suddenly grew nervous. You were happy he had chose to confide in you, but you were most definitely not the greatest when it came your turn to talk. You knew that maybe he wasn't expecting you to say anything at all, because that the way he was. Maybe he didn't chose you at all, maybe he just felt bad about the Stone situation. He knew you felt embarassed about it all, and maybe he wanted to make it more bearable for you by spilling his guts or something. Your rambling mind was interrupted by his sweet voice.

"I used to be so sure about us. The way she felt for me, our future. I thought it was set in stone. Seven years is a long time." You stayed quiet. The only sounds were the noises coming from the TV, but the volume wasn't very loud to begin with. He continued to talk.

"But then this happened. So abruptly, all these changes that were to take place in my life. I mean, I left San Diego, my home, to come here. That was a big enough change, and now the person I spent the last seven years waking up to every morning, I'll never see again." He looked down as he spoke, playing with the hem of his flannel. "My life took a complete turn and now, I feel like I don't know anything. What to do, how to feel, how to move forward. I was going to propose to her." That shocked you. Your eyes widened a little, but you still said nothing. There was nothing you could say, really.

"The first day I came here, after our first jam session, I went looking all around for jewelry stores to find here the perfect ring. Ironically, I didn't see any that I thought she'd like. I guess that was a good thing." He tried to joke lightly, but you didn't really laugh. It wouldn't have really been appropriate.

"I loved her, and I thought she loved me. But thinking about it these past couple of days...deep down, I knew. I always knew." He shook his head. Knew what?

"Knew what?" You repeated outside of your mind this time, quietly, curiously.

"There was always something missing. A piece, always a sense of emptiness in our relationship." You were still slightly confused.

"Her love. It was never there. Maybe at first, but as time went by... I think she just got used of me being there. I was a part of her life she was just used to having around." You nodded, finally understanding. Your heart hurt for him. You could never imagine someone in there right minds doing that to someone like Eddie. He deserved better.

"I at least thought she cared about me though. But looking back on it... she surely didn't. You don't fuck over the ones you care about." Ain't that the truth.

"I'm a bit scared. I don't know where I stand, with almost anything. The guys seem to like me, but what if I do something stupid and mess up? If that happens, I go back to San Diego to start back at zero again. No girlfriend, no band, no job. Nothing." He leaned his back against the back of the couch. Your eyes followed his all the way there, filled with worry for him. You decided it was time to say something.

"First things first, the guys fucking love you, man. That should not be a worry in your little head, so flush that one away. Okay? If anything, they're probably scared to lose you. After Andy... things are looking up for them right now and I'm sure they don't want their hard work to go down the drain." You leaned over to get a bit closer to him, but not too close. "Secondly, Ed. I'm speaking as a true friend to you right now, whatever happened with Beth is not the end of anything. I mean, it is the end of a relationship, but it’s also a new beginning." He turned his head, eyes bore into yours, he rose a brow in question.

"Well for one, all those feelings of worry, angst and emptiness you felt when you were with her, thats all over with. You won't have that weighing you down anymore." You hoped you worded that properly. "It seems to me, this all happened for the best, for you. It may not seem like it right now, but maybe in a few months you'll be happier than you ever have been. You never know. Life works in some mysterious ways Eddie, thats one thing I can tell you for sure." You smiled lightly over at him. He stayed quiet for a few moments, eyes locked to yours. You shifted uncomfortably, had you said something wrong? You hoped not.

"I think... I think you're right." He spoke, sitting up straighter, tearing his eyes away from your own. Oh thank god. You smiled. "A new beginning. Huh. Never thought of it like that..."He drifted.

You patted his back gently. "Atta boy!" You joked. He laughed and nudged your shoulder.

"Thanks, Dani. Much better than the advice you gave me the other night." He teased. Your jaw dropped and you punched his shoulder this time around.

"Fuck you, I tried!" You couldn't help but laugh, and so did he. Quite some time had passed, and you two went on talking. It nearing 9:00, but you weren't tired yet. After all, you did end up sleeping in quite a bit this morning. You knew you couldn't miss your class tomorrow though. You stood up, the blanket falling to the floor, as you picked the plates up of your coffee table and brought them to the kitchen. You set them in the sink for now, you didn't really feel like doing dishes at this moment.

"Thanks for dinner and the eventful day. I had fun painting with you...oh and letting me rant, thanks for that." He stated awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Anytime, Ed." You smiled warmly.

"I should get going though. I gotta shower, I'm starting to stink."

"Is that what I've been smelling?" You scrunched your nose teasingly and the two of you laughed. You followed him to your door.

"Thank you for spening the day with me, Eddie. And for breakfast this morning. Say hello to my boys for me, alright?" You opened your door for him as he finished lacing up his white boots.

He straightened out and pulled you into a quick, and awkward hug. Safe to say, it didn't last long. He waved goodbye and promised he would say hi to the guys. When he was halfway down the hall of your building he shouted at you "don't forget our gig friday!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Vedder." You waved back at him this time, a toothy grin plastered on your face, as you watched him disappear down the stairs.

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randalourita · 7 years ago

Text

Song-Fic: Only You Can Love Me This Way

Back at it. This is Random?

-----------------------------------

He saw it coming, he knew what would happen. At least he thought he knew, she did warn him after all. She had mentioned once or twice how difficult it would all be once people knew. I guess he never thought it’d be this much of a mess?

It had already been 2 years since they started dating and it was still kind of new. Not the relationship. They were basically married already. They lived in the same house, shared bills, her dogs were their dogs now. But the fame that came with it? with this? Yeah, it was still new. It would always be probably.

The late night calls from his parents wondering if the tabloids were true, if they were actually becoming grandparents. If he was single again. If he was stupid enough to say certain things about a certain someone.

The daily tweets asking when the proposal was coming, how they were naming their kids. Suddenly people forgot his name and he was now known as ‘Miranda Lamberts boyfriend’.

But the truth is, as tiring as all of that might sound, the moment he opened the front door and stared into her deep blue eyes. Every mean tweet, every annoying call, every stupid magazine cover became worth it. The moment he laid in bed with her head on top of his chest. The moment he kissed her just because he could. The moment she smiled. It was all worth it.

It was like they were meant to be together, like them having to go through so much shit had a reason. It didnt matter what happened in the outer world, at the end of the day, he was the one holding her hand. She was the one who advised him when it all became too much. It was just them.

But the insecurities were still there, they were human beings after all (believe it or not). And he was dating Miranda Lambert. THE Miranda Lambert. Not only the singer/songwriter/record breaker. But also the hottest woman every man seemed to want. And he was the lucky one?

------//------

“Do we actually have to go? Cant we just stay here tonight?” She whined once more. She was exhausted after just getting back home from a week of tour.

“Babe, its your label, Marion said you had to, I'm just your plus 1.” Anderson laughed. She hated these parties. Everyone knew it, but she was the face of the label and showing up was kinda of a big deal for the company.

Miranda sighted. “You are way more than my plus 1 babe, you are my drinking buddy. Don't sell yourself short.” She joked. She really didn't know what she would do if he wouldn't be there with her.

“My feet already hurt, and my back is killing me. I cant believe we are actually here.” She complained once again, while getting out of their truck. This shit better end soon.

“Hey come on, you look stunning. You go say hi and ill go get us some drinks.” He tried to make it better.

“Have i told you i love you?” She over reacted once again. “Hey Mike? Don't go easy on the Tito’s.” She pouted, making Anderson laugh. She was something else.

He headed straight to the bar, asking for both of their drinks while checking his girlfriend out. He might have been in the same room as the richest man in Nashville, but he was 100% sure he was the luckiest of them all just by getting to walk right next to her.

“Have you seen Miranda? Damn that woman is a flame.” He over heard some dudes speaking right next to him. He was used to this. He drowned his drink, asking for another before leaving with both drinks in hand. Not really wanting to listen to what was about to come out of the douche’s mouth. He knew these conversations by hard.

“There he is!” She greeted her drink, before taking a long sip and pecking her boyfriend on the lips. “You are a life saviour.” She whispered in his ear.

He knew how this night would end. His drunk girlfriend would need help to get this night over with. And he would be right next to her to assist.

----//----

“Hey, Mikey?” She slurred while changing into her pyjamas. “My back is killing me, could you please rub my shoulders?” She pouted. She could get anything with that pout.

She laid on bed upside down, while he massaged her shoulders. “You know, i was thinking-” “Oh thats never good.” He joked, earning a slight punch on his shoulder. “Where do you think we would be if we had never met?” She slurred once again.

“We would both be in rehab probably.” He joked once more.

“No i mean it, i really don't know how my life would be.” She got pretty serious.

“Well, you would probably had a much hotter guy, with bigger arms to rub your back, thats for sure. And i’d probably be looking for someone just like you, to practice my massages skills.” He kissed her cheek. With that, she relaxed. Slowly drifting off to sleep.

“Nah babe, no one could ever take your place. Only you can love me this way.”

At that he smiled. As hot as Miranda Lambert might be. She sure was a handful, and he couldn't imagine any of those rich guys being able to handle her. But him? Yeah, he was the perfect man for the job.

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thedoctorisadhd · 7 years ago

Note

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

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womens-anonymous · 6 years ago

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what's your net-net-net worth?

I think I need to start all of my dates in honor of Drake’s “In my feelings” track- What’s your net worth? From there I can determine if I should continue relations not solely based on the value provided, but more importantly, if that value matches up with his market value. What I’ve come to learn about men is that they severely lack the internal reflection of what they can and are willing to contribute to a partnership. This lack of internal reflection causes them to over-estimate their market value. Over-estimating mens are likes of 50 Cent, Future, Ryan Lotche, and Bow Wow whereas the contrary are the likes of Lance Gross, Denzel Washington, and Ryan Gosling. Over-estimation of one’s market value can cause them to think they “God’s ONLY gift to the world”, more than worthy to have access to any woman they desire, also find women and their contributions to be easily disposable or taken for granted. Typically women under-estimate their market value because they don’t want to intimate or “scare a man away”. Women would rather play small, into the comfort of a man’s ego because it’s safe and non confrontational. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with women that play small or men that think they are God’s gift, but if these mannerism are done at the expense of yourself, or to degrade your significant other or at the approval of your significant other, that is not okayyy.

I attribute this observation to familial and societal conditioning of women being givers and men as being takers. Women will cook, clean, go to work, wrangle children, and lay it down in the bedroom all for the man that gets the big piece of chicken for dinner. While men lay in the position of expectancy- for the big piece of chicken, adoration from his lover, praise of for his professional accomplishments and wealth attainment, your forgiveness without resentment, for you to never leave or forsake him, and for you to make yourself cum! Women typically position themselves to give and prove that they are worthy of what I call the immaculate transaction. Now the immaculate transaction is not a wedding ring, no. Its the day a man decides to give of themselves. And when I say give, nothing of material like flowers, dinner or stuff. The act of giving is to relinquish the power of knowing why something is needed, yet drowns, sacrifices, or fulfills that need knowing it meets the expectation of someone. The gift of love is to drown to something bigger than yourself. To give without the expectancy for something in return. Giving requires one to choose, want and desire to be something better than. This act of giving should feel like an out of body experience. This doesn’t have to be something big like commitment or love, it can simply be unrequited support or consistent genuine care, hell, even an orgasm! Doing such a thing requires a man to be vulnerable, willing, and fearless. I don’t see this in the men I’ve been dating as of lately. I’ve encountered an array of men at different phases of their life, and what they all have in common is this arrogant pursuit to uncover my net worth and assets for their gain only. And It’s actually a violating experience. I’ve been on dates that could have been mistaken for job interviews. The interview question assess my skillset, student loan debt, and my contributions to his prestige. When I turn around and ask, “what do you bring to the table?”, I get a lot of uh’s, aggressive retorts, “what you means” or if I’m lucky “you got me fucked up’s”. This one guy’s investigative journalism skills was so tough, I wasn’t sure if he was inquiring the essence of me or the presence of me. I think there is nothing more beautiful than for a man to allow me to reveal myself to him, as he should do to me. It’s truly frustrating and disheartening because I don't think men are aware of vitriol they inflict when they run through you- your emotional headspace, your intellectual bedroom, your beautiful heart to then depart your home with nasty parting words- “ I ain’t like the way yo shit was set up in here anyway.”

Men take and take, and women break and break. I was that woman that gave so much and neglected myself and sanity. But I gave up this form of self destruction after the last one came through and ran a muck. Like a fool in love, I would let him back in countless times. And he shitted on my shit countless times. But that last time, I had enough. I didn't let him back in because I recognized that we weren’t building a partnered space. All of that shit in that “partnered” house was my shit- and I had enough of him shitting on MY SHIT. Its so crucial for women to claim ownership of the home they built within themselves and recognize the possessions they lended to the partnered home. Ownership allows us to defend, by any means necessary, or share because we know where it comes from and has the ability for rebirth. Women are constantly dying to themselves, to be rebirth again. Thats the essence of a woman; fiercely protective yet willing and able to give light/life. That man who acted a fool in MY house was simultaneously building his own house, however, it wasn’t ready for my presence, hence why I never got an invitation nor could he contribute to our “partnered” space. He wasn’t ready to give of himself; He wasn’t ready to share his space, bedroom, heart with me at full access. His ego guarded his front door until I stopped knocking (I was actually banging on that door). Not until I walked away, accepted that the immaculate transaction was not to come, He began to give, but by that time it was too late for me.

An article titled “Black Men aren’t providers because allow them to be contributors” was circling my newsfeed this past week and caused me to reflect on my contribution to the enabling of men’s subpar, unequivocally matched engagement with me. The article caused me to reflect on a recent discussion I had with a guy, who decided to stop dating me this past January.... We agreed to meet for dinner and discuss a business challenge I’m encountering and could use his help on. As we are walking to the restaurant, small talk quickly leads to a “proposal” he’d like to give me over dinner. Over dinner, he proposes that we have a child, “send it off to the soccer academy in London, and recoup our invest by the age 16 when he joins the league. Tax shelter you know” The tone and facial expression this man had during the proposal was serious and calculated in every way. Because I’m ignorant, I laughed in his face and said “you have got to be kidding me, yo, you cant be serious.” And he wasn’t playing- he proceeded to sell the idea to me “I can take care of us, you are young enough to get your body back, we’d have a tax credit for the kid, you have good hair, your family would like me...” Not once did this man ever inquire my aspirations of a family, partnership, willingness, fears, and vulnerabilities- even when we did date. All he knew and care to know was my “financial portfolio” because he already performed a risk analysis on it. Results came back that I was a low risk case because I got goals and shit to lose, just like him. Therefore the balanced risk would be shared. Once I got the shocking giggles out of me, I told him, “We would and could never work because we don’t share the same views and goals for our life projections.”

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a sweetheart. His gentle, light hearted demeanor reminds me of Sterling K Brown’s character on This is Us Television Show. On paper, he checks out- Master’s Degree, good work ethic, generous, and socially aware. But emotionally bankrupt, spiritually deprived, and hopelessly securing any love with the least effort. These traits are the archetype of takers. All they bring to the table is the “ability to provide.” “Provide” in his case, is money, but some of these other dudes say that word and mean bullshit, drama, confusion. Check it, there is nothing wrong with bringing home the bacon fellas, and ladies if that works for you, please do you boo! But for me, that’s not all I require and deserve. As a high earning, academically excelling Black woman in America, I recognize that I am apart of a demographic that is now surpassing the economic and educational threshold black men have yet to surpass. I don't say this braggadociously- I say it with great pride as I know that I am a descent of slave women, that transitioned into housemaids, then eventually entered industry’s that never wanted us like Science, Technology, Mathematics and Engineering, all while taking care of some muhfuggin kids! It is my duty to widen the door of opportunity for my Black brothers that have been stripped and undergirded of their contribution to society because of the manifestation of slavery, voters rights, mass incarceration, and systems of oppression. I get it, the shits hard and fucked up. Instead of having a chip on your shoulder because you “pulled yourself up by the bootstraps”, “aren’t a statistic”, “ have a master’s Degree and earring six figures”, “ not ready to give it all up for the wrong chick”, try sharing, giving, and being more than what you and world expects of you. It doesn’t hurt to give life/love, die by your own sword, knowing that you will be reborn again to see another day, give another day. Simply saying you want to be a financial provider in a family household may not cut it with a millennial Black women. Leaving the laborious emotional development for the mother to accomplish with y'all offspring aint enough no more. Picking up the kids when Mom can’t, aint cool no more. Your preference to go dutch on a date isn’t going to save you from rejection. You earning more than me doesn’t substitute for your lack of emotional responsibility in the building of a relationship or family. Me earning more than you doesn't subject you to domestic duties either.

I’ve come to understand that equality in genders and their roles may never be, but the dynamic equitable balance is something I’m willing to negotiate. Therefore ladies, know your true market value and demand an equitable contract with these mens. Don’t get caught up with the car sales pitch; ask the hard questions, seek the absolute truth. Hopefully this will force men to reconcile their shitty marketing scheme, humble thy self, and commits to a transaction that is cashless yet doesn’t bounce.

Be safe out here

-Issa Molly xo

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years ago

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i dont know how i feel. i’m very conflicted and sad. i dont want to be but my soul tells me i probably should be.

hes very excited to quit his job and take temporary leave across the country. he joked, ‘youll leave me now that i dont have a job’ and i replied ‘no, youre leaving ME now that you dont have a job’

‘what do you mean? i thought you said you would follow me.’

‘... i will follow you’

‘so then follow me. thats why i wanted to bring the truck. i just want time to myself first so i can create better habits and stop being lazy.’

at this point i realized my theory regarding north york was right and he was not happy about my refusal to follow him. but it wasnt right. and although this is being spoken about 6 months in advance i feel like theres a certain amount of disrespect? like it wasnt a discussion - it was just once again something he’d do and i was welcome to join him.

and i dont know if thats right for me? like to be totally fair, i dont know whats right for me. i dont even know where i want to be, who i want to be, what i want to o with my time. i’m really figuring all of this out right now. and like i was some years late on this because of all my shit and once i figure it out i think i’ll be fine but it’s ~the seeker again. i’ve been repeating, “i asked timothy leary and he couldnt help me either” after seeing the documentary with him an ram dass. like i have questions that are so deep an profound to life that i may never find answers and maybe thats who the fuck ill be and if thats who i am then how do i find ways to exist in this life.

like - i hate everyone. i really dislike everyone i know right now but i continue to socialize with them because this is what ive known this is what ive built - this is what i have. i should have done better. i’m trying to make people who will never really amount to much do more than theyre ever destined for and i’m frustrated about it. i’m continually frustrated that i put in this massive amount of effort that NO ONE else puts in and they have THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME. i know i’m sick - i know because if i wasnt, if i never had the parents i had - if i had opportunities given to me i wouldnt be here right now. i am so angry at people who have opportunities and continually shit on them. i’m here doing the most with nothing and getting only a few steps ahead.

i thought i didnt care where i lived. but that was a serious lesson when i moved to the north of the city. i fucking hate the suburbs and i fucking hate being in the midle of nowhere. it is not fun or quaint biking everywhere or being off the main transit line. i biked home at 3am and bought smokes in the time it would take me to bike to the bus stop to go downtown. and i thought i didnt care about the way i lived but it turns out that my environment weighs heavily on me. i “thrive” in a city atmosphere where things are bustling and i can jump in at any time. i have no qualms about missing opportunities for socializing because i know ill have more very soon. being able to get resources to live super quickly means i have no problem doing multiple tasks in a day. it was like when i took anti anxiety meds and realized what anxiety was. i did not know what i had until it was gone and i was able to learn that i did in fact do better in a room. i was raised in a room. and it sounds sad and maybe it is sad but i WANT to be in a room. i dont even WANT a house. i thought i did. i thought i wanted my own little place an if i could have a stand alone room on a street maybe id take my own place but i hate it. i hate doing dishes and mopping and dusting and everything. ive just now figured out how to keep one single room tidy and organized and it makes me feel very good.

what am i doing? he called me king of the losers. i am. i am king of the losers - of all the shitty art people trying to make a “career” from being an artist; i’m the top of the line. there are “artists” doing better than me but out of all the losers who arent, i’m the top. and i choose to remain this way because i cannot stand the attention, i canno stand being a leader and i am on the precipice of something that i know i can make huge which i do not think even my “subjects” realize what that means. if i believe something will happen - it almost always does. it means i have the confidence and drive to make it happen. its not even happenstance - i know exactly what to do, what cards to play and i feel like i’m there right now. i could take my next step above king of the losers but why? why? what will i get? acknowledgment for the work i did, people will “like me”, maybe i’ll get some money - maybe it’ll go so far that it’ll be of value to something bigger that wants a piece of it and i’ll be bought out like similar projects before me. but why? what in the hell do i care? how do i define “glory” or “success” and is this it? i’m literally twiddling my thumbs with this. i’m biding my time between this and the next “big thing” - the “serious” one.

so why cant i follow him? if i finally get the benefits i’ve been waiting for, they’re only applicable in this province. i will have to reapply in a province that contains the amount of people currently living in this city almost four months after finally getting it here. although i have no family now, i will be literally half way across the country from anything i have ever known for the entire 27 years of my life whch is extremely terrifying right now. i dont know if i even want to leave this city right now. i just dont know. what do i do with the cats? take them half way across the country? in a pick up truck?

what helped my consideration was the proposal .. of well a literal proposal. but not so much out of love - but a contract, an agreement between us that when we were “done”, he would pay for me to return to my home province. like itll be my job to find a place to live at but i want him to pay for my return because i know with or without a job ill be able to find some cash when i get back but getting back with my shit would be super hard and i just want to know that the hardest part for me is taken care of so i always have “freedom” to return to what i know. imagine being stuck halfway across the country because we broke up? losing all my shit? having to beg & borrow to get back to anything familiar? i dont want alimony - in fact i think this is the prenup agreement. i get nothing at all except my moving expenses covered which i think is kind of beneficial to him too - he wont have to see me or keep me around any longer than necessary. i dont know if we can legally sign an agreement that says this otherwise which is why i stupidly think maybe we sould just secretly get married to enforce the fact he cant just get up and walk away without taking care of things with me unless hes really shitty about it. its not about beig forever taken care of either - even if i have the money to move i think its fair after everything to just be able to get back an start my own life again without a major struggle. like if i give up my whole life here to go there, the least i can get is my shit sent back and a plane ticket.

but then - i dont want to take a plane alone. i mean, to get there. if he decides to road trip himself with the truk and has no reason to return he may just want to send me a ticket and i’m absolutely not ready for such things not even in six months - okay for therapeutic purposes ill say MAYBE in six months but honestly im still trying to get on a bus to toronto let alone an airplane to another province. i love him but i honestly think id refuse to get on a plane by myself. especially if i had gone through the stress of giving up the cats or hoosing to move or even leave for a significant period of time. he also has ties there and i dont and i feel like i’ll be _the_ goth girl of the province. like the entire province, i’ll be _the_ goth girl. but maybe i’m assuming and stereotyping - maybe theres a whole scene of people there i also dont want to fucking know.

but what if this is the thing? what if this is that turning point in my life where i say fuck it and i just do a thing and see where it takes me in this life that WITH OR WITHOU A DECISION ill still be living here for the next many decades and that’s really hard to fathom. like some days i think that “okay tomorrow imjust going to bus back to my building in bramalea and say hi to my dad and chill in my room & smoke some weed”. actually, honestly, alot of days. maybe every other day this real genuine feeling of being able to do this overtakes me an i feel very saddened by it. i will never be able to do that and that is nuts. but maybe part of it is living so close. doing the same things. living the same life. this isnt a life i made, this is a life that became.

maybe if i could take the cats i’d be more stoked on it but even i think it’s impossible. i dont know. i’m just going to try and plow ahead on my own thing - like i had been doing and reassess myself in the new year. maybe ill find “success” and within it “independence” where ill find what i have too valuable to give up. maybe nothing will change ill be desperate to find something different.

i didnt feel good though. like, i have some insomnia which usually bothers me but i know i napped late yesterday and ran out of weed and it’s okay. i knew i’d figure something out and if iwas soooooo desperate i couldve hit a dab. but it wasnt about the weed. the lack of weed didnt give me anxiety and i sort of sat back and witnessed myself cycle through my patterns of anxiety until i had made myself upset enough to cry. im not sure i had a real reason to. but all of these things weighed heavily on my mind and i wasnt able to talk about them and maybe now even this is something to think about on my own - if i wouldnt leave the province without him, should i go with him? it’s a truly independent decision and if i want to “follow”, it’s my responsibility to decide these things in order to be able to “follow”. the lack of weed perhaps made my usual level of anxiety harder to handle and although i tried, it was still going. eventually i began to think of christmas and how he’d be gone and if i didnt go with him we’d break up and just everything that could follow did and i wanted to leave. it was the middle of the night an i was upset and i wanted to go home

but i know this gives him anxiety. i know we’ve argued about going home after dark even. but i decided to follow the “switch” - i’m 27 years old and in no way bound to this person. theyve done numerous things far worse and i was essentially sitting beside them in the dark for hours on end for their benefit. i got dressed but it took me another 45 minutes to decide to leave. i thought id regret it - get half way there and feel stupid. maybe itd be really cold. but once i got on my bike i felt like i could breathe - i took back control. i feel like i panic at a sense of losing control of my own life. like i can lose control of situations but if i cannot atleaast control my own life and how i live, it causes panic attacks. once i felt in control i felt freedom - a freedom i didnt have to pay for. which is a really significant thing to think about.

i dont hate him. maybe this is not about him because he has all the right in the world to decide these things because we are two individual people moving forward and we have to decide on certain things to allow each other to exist in each others lives. i realized if he was going to the store with our friend he’d probably get up early to go which meant i’d be sitting aroun waiting while he showered and ate breakfast so i could be dropped off at home for a few hours. i decided i might as well skip the morning routine and get in a few hours of sleep. he’s supposed to take me pumpkin picking later which i am excited for but right now honestly im most excited for the small sliver of comfort i created for myself.

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