#grungefanfic

[90sgrungewriter]

7. Untitled - Eddie Vedder

Status: Unedited

It had been a few days since you had spoken to Eddie. You wished he'd call or something...surely he could have got your number from one of the boys? Maybe he’d feel too awkward... the guys would obviously tease him about it. 

Your thoughts were clouded these past few days, with thoughts of Eddie and Stone. Mike had called you the next day to tell you about how Stone was doing. He was being extra bitchy about the Friday gig. He wanted everything to be perfect, which was usually the way he wanted things to be done, but this time around, he became more of an asshole about it. The guys tried not to be too upset about it though, considering the situation. You'd been wanting to talk to him, but weren't how or what you were even going to say. Either way, you knew you were going to hurt him, and you didn't want that. But you knew you were going to have to face it one day, and the sooner probably be the better. For the sake of your friendship, and the sanity of the guys too. He would eventually drive them crazy if it kept going the way it has been.

You shook your head, when had things gotten so complicated? Why did they have to be this way? God dammit. Sighing, you tried to think when the best time to talk to him would be. He was still relatively upset, you were sure, and you didn't want to make a scene for everyone. You needed to talk to him privately. You thought about his work schedule and pondered this for a few moments, the only good time would be tomorrow. Most of the guys worked during the day, so you would have time since Stone didn't work till two on Thursdays. Tomorrow seemed very soon to you....

But you knew you had no other choice.

And tomorrow came really fast. You woke up, showered, did your thing, and whenever the clock read eleven-thirty, you knew the guys had all gone to work by now. Stone should be home alone, hopefully not still sleeping. He slept insane hours sometimes.

Lacing up your boots, you made sure to grab your keys before you left.

The walk to Stone and Jeff's place wasn't very far. You were about halfway there when you almost stopped in your tracks. Eddie. You had completely forgotten that he was staying with Stone and Jeff, you hoped he wouldn't be there. Fuck.

You sighed, thinking how stupid that thought was. You wouldn't have to worry about Ed, he was respectful and understanding, maybe he'd offer to leave for a little while or something. He was that type of guy.

Finally reaching their apartment, you slowly made you way to the door, anxiety resting deep in the pit of your stomach. Before you could even knock, the door swung open. It was Eddie. You sighed in relief, but then remembered either way you would still have to talk to Stone.

"Hi Dani. I'm guessing its that time, huh." He spoke quietly, looking at you with what seemed to be worry in his eyes. He knew you what you were here for. You nodded your head.

"I was actually just going to step out for a bit, first time I've seen the sun since I got here." He smiled, and his eyes met the ground. "Stone's been in his room all morning. Come in." He moved over to the side, gesturing you to come forward.

You entered the familiar apartment, and rested your purse on the couch.

"Uhm, are you going to be okay...?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks Ed." You gently squeezed his arm.

"Alright, I'll be back later. If you need anything, uh, I was gonna grab a coffee at the place down the road, at the corner." He pointed in the general area, you knew which one he was talking about.

"Okay, have fun." You gave a small smile, and made your way to Stone's room. You heard the closing of the front door. Once you were at his bedroom door, you hesitated, thinking it might not have been the right time. Your heart started to race a little faster, you really didn't want to do this. Just as you were about to knock, yet again, the door swung open. That had been happening a lot lately.

Stone stood in front of you, wearing a dark pair of boxers, white socks, and a yellow t shirt. His eyes met yours, and his mouth formed a small O-shape. He looked down at his legs, and back up to your eyes. His face flushed red in embarassement. You couldn't hold in your giggles, so you just let them go. He looked down, with what looks to be a tiny little half a smile on his lips. It made you feel somewhat at ease.

"Stoney, go put some pants on," you giggled "I think uh-we need to talk." Your giggles subsided when speaking that last part.

He nodded and trudged into his room, leaving the door open for you to walk inside. You looked around the room, posters of his favorite bands and sports teams scattered on the walls, his room was pretty messy. Clothes on the floor, the bed wasn't made, he had 2 guitars on the ground as well as smaller amp by his closet. You sat down on the bed, waiting, nervously.

He pulled on a pair of black joggers and sat next to you. He looked nervous, he was twiddling his fingers and his eyes were locked on his fingers. You wished more than anything that things could be different. You loved him, you really did, but not in the way he wanted. And for a moment, you almost wished you could love him the way he loved you. Things would be easier, and you both would be happy, surely. But sadly, that was not the case.

You sucked in a deep breath, and looked at him again. You waited for him to finally tear his eyes away from his thumbs, to meet your own and when they did, it nearly broke your heart. He knew you didn't feel the same way, no words had to be spoken. The hurt that filled his eyes made you want to cry. How could you possibly make things better? You were so torn.

"I'm sorry Stone..."you paused and let a few moments of silence pass. "I wish I could." His eyes went back down to the floor this time.

"No, Danica...I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner... I selfishly made that scene in front our friends not thinking about how it would even make you feel." He looked around his room, disappointment loomed in his eyes. You couldn't believe what you were hearing, why the fuck was he apologizing? "I-uh-I always knew...knew you didn’t really feel the same way." You nodded, grabbing one of hands and placing it in your own. "I just..." He sighed, looking everywhere but at you.

"Seeing you with Eddie..just kind of pissed me off. I guess I thought that maybe I would get lucky this time around, and maybe that I was wrong about this one...But I wasn't I guess." He spoke nervously, words stumbling out of his mouth. They broke your heart even more.

"Stone, I-"

"Don't worry, I won't be mad if you were to ever uh-y'know...go out with him or anything. I don't want to stop you, I want you to be happy. And if it can't be with me, then I guess I should be glad it's someone like Eddie." He finally turned and looked at you. You knew it hurt him to say that, and you wished he didn't have to say it.

"As long as it's not Jeff, then I guess I'll be okay." He butted in quickly, and you had to stifle you laughter.

"Oh god, that would never happen Stoney. You don't have to worry about that one." You softly giggled, and squeezed his hand. He nodded, laughing coarsly with you.

A few moments of silenced passed. As much as you were happy things were turning out the way they were, you still needed to get some things off your chest too.

"Stone, I want you to know that I really do love you. I wish things could be different, I want you to be happy Stone. I care about you a lot. I want you to know that I'm always going to be here for you, okay? I'm not going anywhere. Even if you want me to, you can go fuck yourself cause I'm staying right here." He laughed this time. A real laugh. His hand was still placed in your own and you didn't want to let go.

"I would never ask you to leave. Me too, I'm not going anywhere." he assured you. You nodded, flashing a bright smile of relief his way.

"God, stop that. You won't make it fucking easy, will you?" He ripped his hand from your own, and got up from the bed.

"Oh shutup, I didn't do anything!" You stood up and punched his upper arm.

The two of you laughed and made your way out of his room. Eddie still hadn't returned, so you and Stone spent some time together. He just bought some new records from a place downtown, so you spent a good hour listening to some music. It was nearing one-thirty the afternoon, and he had to be at work for two.  You decided it was about time to leave so he could get ready, seeing as he wasn’t really dressed properly to go to work, and his hair was a mess.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, Stone." You hugged him tightly, before letting go, looking him in the eyes. He nodded, genuine smile on his face. You missed him these past few days. 

"Better be! We're counting on you, princess." He winked. You rolled your eyes and walked out the door, waving goodbye.

You made your way home, all feelings of worry and stress were gone. Thank god. Once you reached the corner of the street, you stood in front of the coffee shop Ed was supposed to be at. You pondered for a moment. You had a class at four, and it was only one-thirty, so maybe you could stop in and have a coffee with him or something. You spotted Ed sitting at a small table in the corner, his face in a journal and looked like he was scribbling something intensely in the book. Maybe you shouldn't bother him....

But you hadn't seen him in a while, and really wanted to talk to him. He would surely ask how things went with Stone.

Fuck it, if he doesn't want me to bother him he could just say something.

The door to the coffee shop chimed. You had been in here a couple of times, they had good deserts. Despite the chime, Ed's eyes stayed glued to whatever he was doing. Writing a song, most likely? 

You made your way over to him. You decided to be a bit cheesy.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken by a special lady?" his head whipped up to the sound of a voice, but once realizing it was you, his expression changed into that of a goofy grin.

"I think the only lady aloud to take that seat is you." You blushed and looked down as you took a seat.

"Well, aren't I lucky."

Eddie ended his writings there and closed his book. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything," You spoke quickly, looking down at his book.

"Oh no, don't worry, I was just uh-working on a little something that I started a few days ago...not close to being finished yet." He reassured you, and took a sip of his coffee.

"Alright, if you're sure." You winked, reaching out to grab some change from your wallet. "I'll be right back, just gonna grab a coffee." You stood up, as he nodded.

You quickly went to the counter and got your drink, returning to your seat. You also grabbed a muffin since you skipped breakfast this morning.

"Blueberry? How lame." He teased, looking at your muffin. You scoffed.

"Oh please, don't tell me you're a chocolate chip type of guy."

"Eh, more of a banana muffin kind of person."

"Pfft, like thats any better. Blueberries rule." You dug into your muffin like you hadn't eaten in days, and Eddie laughed.

"So, I'm guessing things with Stone went okay...?" He addressed the elephant in the room. You were thankful he did, it always made things less awkward.

"Yeah, actually. I was kind of worrying quite a bit... for nothing I guess. He said we'll be okay as long as I don't go out with Jeff." I just had to mention that last part, and Eddie chuckled.

"Just Jeff, huh?" He grabbed his coffee and took another gulp. You nodded, a smile still lingered on your lips. He smiled back.

"Alright..."

The two of you spent another hour and a half talking abut random shit, you were still learning about him just as much as he was you. He was such a unique guy, the way he acts, the things he says, the way he says them, just...everything. It had you captivated, and hoped you hadn't already bought your one way ticket to crush-ville. I mean, come on. Eddie is almost perfect, why is it that he has to be heartbroken and in love with someone else? Life sucked.

"You alright, Dani?" His voice took you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry just uh- thinking..." before he could ask anything you started to speak again," I've gotta get going. I have a class at four. It was nice seeing you for a bit today, Ed." You smiled at him and you both stood at the same time.

"Oh okay, uh- well I'll walk you home." He insisted. Fuck yeah.

"Okay." You grinned back.

Stepping out of the coffee shop it was still sunny, so you took a moment to breathe in some fresh air and let the sun soak some skin. Felt nice. The walk home was enjoyable, you's didn't talk much, but more so just enjoyed each others company. You were thankful for him walking you home, it was something you looked forward to.

"I really like when you walk me home, Eddie." you looked over to find him already looking at you.

"Me too, thats why I'm here." He chuckled.

"Yes, you were put here on this earth, to walk me home all the time." You spoke sarcastically, and he bumped your shoulder lightly, laughing.

"Hey, lets let it be our thing. Your tradition. To new friendships!" What a guy, he was so funny. And cute...

"Haha, okay. You got it." You were at your apartment before you knew it.

"I'll see you tomorrow at your show, alright?" You gave him a hug goodbye, he returned one equally as tight, hands wrapped around your waist. His pulled your body a little closer than he did last time, and it made you melt inside.

You need to get a grip, girl.

“Alright, see you there.” He smiled.

With a final wave, you both went your separate ways, wishing you could just ditch class and go run back to Eddie and spend more time with him. But sadly, that was not an option. So you trudged into your apartment and got ready for your class.

[templeoftheslavegarden]

Well I’m freaking out a bit. Apparently wattpad is having an issue where published stoies aren’t showing up and all my stories are gone except for Time After Time. Thank god I have them posted on other sites and have saved them other places but damn this sucks! I hope it resolves soon 🙁

[eddie-vedder-luv]

Eddie Vedder/ Stone Gossard Fic- TANGIBLE EXISTENCE :: Chapter TWENTY TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Everyone piled onto the bus  at about four A.M, to head to the next place, they stopped at a local gas station on the way out of town to get coffee and some sort of breakfast.  There wasn’t anyone around in sight, the gas station attendant was an older gentleman who had no clue who the guys were so they didn’t have to worry about mobbing fans or paparazzi this time.  Sam and Olivia grabbed a couple cups of hot coffee a piece, and went over to see Stone and Eddie who were standing in front of the cooler where the sodas and energy drinks were at, they both grabbed an armful each.

“Where’s the damn donuts I need sugar, What about you Sam?” Liv nudged Sam with her elbow.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Boys can you carry these over to the counter for us, please?” Livvie asks Stone and Eddie, the guys take the coffee’s from the girls and take everything to the counter while the girls grabbed more snacks and enough donuts to feed the whole group.  Getting back onto the bus everyone is sitting around in the back lounge having their makeshift breakfast and talking about the next few days. They spent about eight hours on the bus before they arrived in Orlando Florida, they had the whole rest of the day off because the show wasn’t until tomorrow so they decided to spend the day at the beach.

Mike and Dave were tossing the football around, Eddie and Jeff were surfing and Stone, Sam and Olivia were sitting on the beach close to the water.

Sam and Stone were both joking around laughing with each other, Stone being his typical smartass self which Sam seemed to love. Livvie sat there watching the boys out on the water.  The cool breeze that blew in off the ocean pushed her hair from her face.  Livvie was taken from her gaze on the boys when she heard Sam cracking up, she looked over and saw Stone smiling at her, taking his long hair down letting it fall and cover his shoulders. Why was he doing that? she thought to herself...was he doing that to get her attention...he knew Livvie couldn't stand when he did that, it drives her wild...in a good way. He ran his hand through his hair and nudged Sam who was still laughing at whatever remark he made.

“Liv isn’t he funny? Oh Stone you are too much for me.” She said looking over at Liv.

“Yea, Stone is pretty funny.” She answered back trying to force a smile on her face.

“Hey Livvie are you going to join us?” Jeff shouted from the top of his board.

“Maybe later boys, I am going to lay down under the umbrella for a while.” Livvie got up from the sand and brushed herself off. . She wasn’t sure if she was just tired, if she needed to do work, or if she was just trying to avoid Stone

“You okay Liv?” Sam asked looking up at her.

“Yea doin good, you two enjoy yourselves; I’ll be up there with our stuff.” Olivia went up to lay on the towel under the umbrella and she pulled out her laptop and cell phone and started to get some work done.

“Sure shes okay Stone?” Sam asked looking back up at Olivia.

“Yea, shes fine. Up there working like always, I know she is I don’t even have to turn and look I bet you right now, she is either on her phone or on the laptop or writing in that planner she carries everywhere.”  Stone grinned at Sam knowing he was right, she just smiled back and nodded her head.

“Come on let’s go for a walk.” Stone stood up and held his hand out to help Sam up from the sand, and they walked together along the shore, watching the random people they passed by and talked getting to know more about each other.

Mike and Dave soon came over to grab something to drink, Mike knelled down in front of Olivia sticking his face above her open laptop, making a crazy face at her.

“McCready.” Was all she uttered looking up at him quickly and then back to whatever it was she was typing.

“Olivia Marie, you know you should be relaxing, it’s our day off. Were at the beach…come on you can do that later.”

“I know I just want to finish this up and then…well, then I can go hang out okay?” She typed faster looking at the screen.

“Hang out now, type later. Come on please?” Mike gave her a pouty face.

“It’s okay you guys go have fun, go out in the water and enjoy yourselves.  I am just going to lay here.”

“Fine but no working put this away, don’t make me go get Eddie.  Why aren’t you hanging out with Stone, you two are never without each other?” Mike asked coming to sit back down by her and Dave. Dave nudged him and gestured over to Stone and Sam who were walking down by the water.

“Him and Sam are getting to know each other a  bit better I guess, it’s fine I don’t have to spend every moment with Stone or Eddie. I enjoy both y’alls company.” Liv smiled at them both sitting between them she wrapped her arms around them and pulled them in close for a quick hug.

“Aww we love you Liv!” Dave said in a crazy voice and messed the top of her hair,

“And I love you both as well.” She said looking over towards Stone and Sam who were now walking hand in hand, Livvie looked away from them quickly and stood up.

“I uh..I changed my mind I think I will go get in the water.” Both Dave and Mike looked at each other and grinned, they knew Livvie wasn’t used to seeing Stone hanging out with someone else, let alone another girl but they didn’t say anything.

  EDDIES POV::

I sat on top of my board just floating around for a while looking at the water, up at the beach towards Livvie. I saw her get up from where she was sitting with Stone and Sam. She said something about laying down but I knew for damn sure she wasn’t going up there to relax, just as I suspected she laid down on the towel and pulled out her notebook and everything and started working. Jeff paddled over to me on his board and he was laughing.

“You see that man, she just doesn’t stop does she?”

“No she doesn’t, that’s it I give her ten minutes and if shes still working I am goin up there.” I said to him, we paddled out and rode some waves in a couple more times, when we rode the last wave in I saw Dave and Mike over by Livvie, Mike was doing something to make her laugh, I then saw him grab her work things and put them away.

“Thanks McCready.” I said quietly to myself. She sat there between them hugging both of em, and I saw her look over to Stone and Sam and she got up quickly. I watched her slip her shorts off and peel off her shirt to reveal the black bathing suit she had on underneath. She pulled her long curly hair up to the top of her head.  I couldn’t help but smile, god she was so beautiful, and what made her even more beautiful to me was the fact that she didn’t know she was beautiful she didn’t ever flaunt herself around like a lot of women do, she was simple and to some others maybe plain but to me she was perfect.  I paddled in to meet her before she got into the water.

LIVVIES POV::

When I got closer to the water Eddie had come in from surfing and was standing a couple of feet away from me.

“Hello beautiful.” He said to me with a smile, I couldn’t help but notice how sexy he looked standing there next to his surfboard, his long hair was wet and looked even curlier than usual,  Water dripped from his chest down his stomach and I tried my best not to make it obvious that I was ogling him. 

“Hello there Vedder.” I smiled back at him getting closer to the water, a small wave rolled up onto the sand and I felt the ocean water envelope around my ankles and feet like a cool sheet.  The sun shining brightly overhead was beating down on my shoulders, warming my body.

“Like the view do we?” Eddie said to me puffing out his chest a little bit he obviously could tell I was checking him out, I grinned at him and laughed a little bit.

“Of course I do.” I answered back pushing a piece of hair that fell back from my face.

“Going to get in babe?” He asked me

“Yea, I think I am, the water isn’t too bad I thought it was going to be freezing.” I walked out a little bit further, once the cool water reached my stomach I took a deep breath in, that part is always the worst, Eddie snickered at me and held his hand out for mine.  I walked out a little bit more the water was a little higher than my waist, Eddie pulled me in close to him and kissed me.

“Nice to see you finally joining me, I saw you up there working you know.”

“I know Mike yelled at me, and told me I needed to relax.”

“Good he’s right you need to just enjoy the day,” Eddie  kissed me again, I wrapped my arms around his neck and was kissing him back when I felt a splash of cold water, we both looked up and saw Jeff there with his board.

“Hey lovebirds,  get a room.” 

“Oh hush it Ament! You’re just jealous.” I teased sticking my tongue out at him making him and Eddie laugh.

“You going to surf with us, there’s two extra boards lil’ one?” Jeff motioned up to the boards that were sticking out of the sand next to their stuff.

“Nah I haven’t surfed in a while I probably won’t even be able to get up on the board, you guys can though I will watch.”

“No way come on babe, hop up there. I will help you, come on Ament                                                                                                  let’s get Livvie on a wave.” Eddie grabbed her waist and helped her up onto the board she lay down on it Eddie dragged his hand down her back over her butt and he smacked it, making her turn to look at him.

 “Eddie stop smacking my ass!” She said splashing at him.

“What? … I’m sorry I couldn’t help it.” He said shrugging his shoulders looking at her and Jeff like he didn’t do anything, Jeff laughed and they paddled out, Eddie swam next to Livvie for a while and then she followed Jeff out towards a wave, she looked back to see Eddie he stayed further back watching them.

“Babe turn around, pay attention the wave…..” Eddie went to finish but the wave came rolling in and knocked her off the board. “…the wave is going to knock you off….” He trailed on and swam over to help her back on the board.

“Damnit! See I told you I wouldn’t be able to do it!”

“Well quit looking back at me and pay attention you would’ve done it if you had kept looking forward.”

“Well I can’t flippin help it, you’re distracting.” She said sitting up on the board fixing her hair.

“You two sound like you both need to go get laid or something, first Ed’s smacking your ass and now you can’t surf because your too busy staring its pretty damn funny.” Jeff left them and paddled out again to catch another wave.

“If he only knew what happened last night.” Eddie winked at her and kissed her quickly, she laid back down on the board and again Eddie smacked her ass.

“Vedder, just you wait…I will get you…”

“Please do! Ha-ha,…okay now. Seriously, come on babe you can do it! Paddle out wait for a good one and PAY ATTENTION…You will catch a wave I know it. I will be watching. Go on!” Livvie did what he said she paddled out again past the break zone and sat up on her board waiting for a good set.

“Babe..GO! go, go go!!”  Eddie shouted, Livvie turned on her board waited for a moment and stood up, She rode the wave for a little bit before losing her balance and falling off the board.  She came back up from the water and Jeff and Eddie swam over.

“Pretty damn good Liv, I missed that one by a long shot.” Jeff said.

“Good job babe, want to try again?”

“Yea I do, but here I will go get another board then you can go with us.”

“Oh no lil’ one here, Ed can use my board I am going to head back in and get something to eat I am hungry.  Have fun you two.”  Jeff gave Eddie his board and swam back to shore to talk to everyone else who was now sitting down together. Eddie and Livvie stayed out in the water for a few more hours. Eddie missed the group of girls that came by asking for autographs, Jeff did his job and tried telling them all that Eddie wasn’t there with them so they would go away and didn’t cause a commotion. When Ed and Livvie did finally come back to shore they put their boards into the sand and sat down on a blanket that was laid out on the sand.

“Looked good out there lil’ one, good job! “ Jeff said to her.

“Thanks Ames, what you all doing um where’s Stone? “ She asked looking around for him, she also noticed that Sam was gone as well.

“They went to go grab more drinks and stuff.”  Mike answered, Livvie sighed and rolled her eyes Jeff saw her and looked at Mike who nodded at him, Mike mouthed something to Jeff about Livvie so Eddie wouldn’t hear. “see I told you”

“Did you need him for something?” Mike asked her.

“No, I was just curious is all.  Um..babe can you put more of this lotion on my back?” She asked laying down on the towel.

“Um babe, I would love to do that but uhm…I think it’s a little too late. Your back and your legs are …well…far beyond red.” Eddie said leaning back to look at her.

“No they aren’t, it doesn’t even hurt.” Jeff stood up to look at Liv’s back and legs.

“Oh little one you will be hurting later…you are burnt.” Jeff said making a face, Livvie sat up a little and grabbed her bag to put out a mirror to check her face and chest.

“Holy shit…oh my god I look like a tomato. Babe why didn’t you tell me I was getting burnt?” She asks closing her compact and throws it in her bag. She was touching her cheeks with her fingertips feeling the heat radiating from her skin.

“I couldn’t tell out on the water, I am so sorry babe. Here put my shirt on over your bathing suit and cover up a little bit. Get under the shade over here.” Eddie moved her under one of the shades set up on the beach and he gave her his shirt to put on.  Jeff called Stone at the store and told him to get some Aloe gel before they came back.

“This sucks,  I look ridiculous gives those fucking paparazzi more shit to write about me… I hate those people, their probably taking pictures of us right now! Stupid fuckers!” Livvie covered her face with some sunglasses and she put Eddies flannel on over the t-shirt.

“Just ignore the tabloids babe don’t even look at them, all of that shit is lies it’s not even worth taking your time to look at. Who cares what they say about us all that matters as that we know what’s true and what’s not, okay?” Eddie pulled her in close to him gently and held onto her they sat there talking for a while when Stone and Sam returned from the store.

“Got snacks and shit like that, here ya go guys.” Stone and Sam put all the bags down in front of everyone and the guys started digging through them.

“Oh yea her Liv, this is for you.” Stone said grabbing the bottle of aloe gel from the bag  and  handing it to Eddie for her sunburn. Livvie sat up taking the sunglasses off and Eddie’s shirt.

“Holy Shit Liv, you’re really fuckin burnt.”  Stone said looking at her back.

“Yea no shit Gossard.” She snapped at him.

“Sorry sheesh I was just saying…” Stone held his hands up in defense and went to sit by Jeff and Sam, Jeff looked over at Mike both of them trying to hold in their laughter.

Eddie poured some of the Aloe in his hand and started to put it on her back and shoulders.

“Livvie do you want me to go get you something else to change into?” Stone asked trying to be nice to her.

“No, I’m fine Stone. Eddie gave me his shirt.” She said keeping her head turned away from him.

“Ooookay then well..I um…I guess I am going to go check out the water. “ Stone took his shirt off and went to dive in.

“Lay down on the towel babe and I will get the back of your legs too.” Eddie said to her, she laid out in front of him. Eddie got ready to put some of the Aloe on her legs and right before he did the heard shouting from behind them. Eddie got up  from where he was sitting and saw a swarm of paparazzi coming their way.

“Fuck!!” He said out loud, Livvie heard him and sat up looking around.

“No..No…No!! Damnit!!” She grabbed her glasses and put them on, and Eddie’s shirt and his baseball cap and tried to cover herself.  Jeff and Mike went to help Livvie up, Sam looked around a little bit lost she wasn’t sure what to do. Dave grabbed her hand and pulled her over behind him to shield her from the cameras.

“Get her back guys please, get both the girls back…” Eddie turned to them quickly and then went back to meet the swarm of paparazzi.

 “Whoa guys…hey… I um..I will take photo’s and answer questions whatever you guys need just please stay back okay.” Eddie said to the group of men with camera’s

“Eddie! Who are you here with? Is Olivia with you?!”  “Eddie let us get photos of you and your girlfriend!!” “Is Olivia with you or is she with Stone gossard?”  They all shouted trying to push passed Eddie to where everyone else was.

“Please stay back, Olivia is none of your concern, …come on leave her be.”

Livvie overheard the guys shouting her name, she pushed through Jeff and Mike  and started to walk over to where Eddie was.

“Livvie No..what are you doing. I thought you hated the paparazzi?!” Jeff tried to grab her arm.

“ I do hate them but just let me go, they are asking for me…I might as well give them what they want. Then they will leave us alone.” She said walking over to them the guys with the camera’s went crazy.

“Olivia! Olivia..can we get some shots of you and Eddie?” Eddie turned around shocked and saw her standing there.

“Livvie…what are you…”

“Yes you can take our photo, mind you I just spent hours surfing so my dumbass is sunburnt all to hell, so the glasses and Eddie’s shirt stay on!” She said trying to lighten the situation. She took Eddies baseball cap off and put it on him backwards, she took off his flannel and tied it around her waist showing off Eddie’s Butthole surfers cut off shirt that he gave her.

“Babe you don’t have to do this.” He said under his breath.

“Shut up and kiss me Vedder.” She said pulling him in for a kiss the guys snapped numerous photo’s of Eddie and Livvie kissing.  They posed for a few more photos and answered questions and the guys  left after a while.

“Why did you do that Olivia?”

“I figured that’s what they wanted, sooner they got what they wanted the sooner they would fuck off. Are you mad babe?” She asked him.

“No not mad just…shocked.” Eddie said taking his hat off and he fixed his hair.

“Put the hat back on you look fuckin sexy.” She said grabbing his hat and putting it back on him backwards, Eddie stood there with a grin and posed for a second, standing there in his shorts with no shirt on and his baseball cap.

“Oh yea that’s what I like baby… now come on finish putting aloe on my burnt legs and back.” They walk back over to everyone holding hands. Jeff was standing there staring at Olivia like he couldn’t believe what he just saw.

“Ames, you okay love?” She asked him.

“uh, yea I guess. I just …Cant believe you did that lil one. Oh god don’t tell Stone he will freak out on you.”

“Stone wont freak out, he doesn’t care anymore…it’s fine not like it would matter if he got mad anyway….” Livvie trailed off and laid back down on the towel and Eddie finished covering her burnt body with the Aloe.

Stone came back up to the beach a little bit later, Sam was in the water with Dave and Eddie they were throwing the football around.

“Hey Livvie, have you eaten yet? It’s time for you’re meds remember?” Stone asked looking down at her while he toweled himself off.

“I can wait til later to take them.” She said sitting back up on the towel were she had been laying. She looked out to the water to see what Eddie was doing, He waved at her and she smiled and waved back at him. Livvie took off the sunglasses an Eddie’s shirt she was starting to get hot.

“No you can’t wait Olivia you can’t skip taking your pills… you will get sick if you don’t take them.” Stone nagged at her sitting down by her under the shade.

“I am fine Gossard, just leave me alone. Since when do you know what’s best for me anyway.” She replied glaring at him, Stone looked at her with wide eyes and his mouth agape he couldn’t believe she would even say something like that. They had always looked out for eachother and now shes acting like he’s never cared once.

“Olivia Marie Harris!”

“Stone Carpenter Gossard!!….see I can pull that shit too! Just stop Stone…I am fine. If I get sick..Oh fucking well it was my own damn fault.”  She tried to turn away from him but he carefully grabbed her by the arm and stopped her and turned her to look at him.

“No you’re not going to turn away from me and act like this, what the fuck is going on? What did I do?  You have been like this with me all day!”

“Let go of me Stone,…nothing is going on just go away, why don’t you go play in the water with your girlfriend.” She answered back pulling her arm away from him.

“My girlfriend? …Sam?”

“Yeah Sam.”

“She’s not my damn girlfriend Olivia.” He retorted back looking a little bit angry and surprised that she was getting jealous.

“Could’ve fooled me Gossard.”

“Why does it fucking matter anyway if she was, you don’t care about me…remember…you chose him over me. So why do you care who I am with anyway? You made your damn decision.”  She looked over at him and saw tears in his eyes.

“Stoney..”

“No fuck that…don’t ‘Stoney’ me…you can’t do that, do you know how hard it was for me to play the rest of the show after seeing you on stage with him and him announcing to the whole fucking arena full of people that you were his?  Do you know how hard it was for me to stand there and ACT like everything was fucking okay!?”  Jeff and Mike just sat there not wanting to interrupt them but they knew something was going on, Livvie had been irritated with Stone all day long.

“Stone I am sorry I thought you were fine like…you were…”

“NO you don’t get it!! You never will fucking get it!  But because I only want what’s best for you and only care about you being happy I am not going to get in the way of your relationship with him.  Now you made your choice Olivia, time to live with your decision,  Now get your ass over there and eat something so you can take your meds or I am going to call Eddie over here and he will make you do it anyway.” Stone got up and went over to where the cooler was digging out some fruit and stuff for her to eat.

“No I am not eating, I am not hungry, you can’t keep telling me what to do Stone…you’re not …”

“I know I am not your fucking boyfriend, trust me you guys don’t make it easy to forget! …..Fuck this I can’t do this right now, ..Ames make sure she eats okay. Olivia….I am sorry for whatever I have ever done wrong in your eyes… I just want you safe and happy…that’s all. But apparently it doesn’t matter what I want …I am going to go for a bit.” Stone threw the stuff down back into the cooler and went jogging down the beach. 

[90sgrungewriter]

6. Untitled - Eddie Vedder

Status: Unedited

Needless to say, most of the day was spent creating wacky works of art with Eddie. You's started with big scraps of paper and combined your minds together, and created some pretty wicked paintings. You smoked 2 joints by this time, so you both were pretty high, but as the time passed, you were starting to burn out.

"Wanna take a break? I'll order us some take-out." You stood up and made your way over to your kitchen and opened the drawer where all your takeout flyers were.

"Where from?" The voice cam from almost directly behind you. It startled you so you whipped around and noticed he was standing just a few feet away from you, hands in his pocket.

"Sorry, didn't think you scared that easy." He winked. You rolled your eyes.

"Well, now you know."

He met you at the island in the center of your kitchen and you looked to decide together where you would order from.

"Okay wait. So what are we thinking? Pizza, Greek, Chinese...?" you turned your head to the side to look at him. 

"Mm, Chinese food sounds pretty good to me, right now." He said as he rested a hand on his slim tummy. You couldn't help but agree. It really did.

"Totally agree. What about Chen's Village? They have the best chicken chow mein." You gave him the brochure for the restaurant, and he took a few seconds to look it over, before approving.

"Alright, I'll have the fried tofu with mixed vegetables. You want me to call?" He offers. You nodded meekly.

"Please? I hate talking on the phone. This weird phobia of mine, I guess."

"Its ok, I'll call." He smiled. You pointed him to the phone that lay on the table and he quickly made the call. While he was doing so, you sneaked away to your room to grab your wallet from your purse. He payed for breakfast, so you thought it only to be fair if you were to pay for dinner. At the same time, you grabbed your fluffy blanket at the same time.

When you came back, you decided to clean up the living room a little. A few minutes later he came to help. After that was done, you tossed him the TV remote, and he plopped down on your couch and turned it on.

You were about to sit down too when you heard the doorbell. Before Eddie could even stand up you rushed to the door. The delivery person was a nice older lady, so you made sure to tip her a few extra bucks. She thanked you kindly, and you grabbed the food and shut the door. You turned to Eddie giving you a slight glare, arms crossed.

"You had this planned, didn't you?"

"Maybe." You winked.

"Couldn't you just let me be a nice guy and pay for you?" He said in a voice you knew he was picking on you.

"Oh shut up. You did pay for breakfast this morning, so can't you just let me be a nice girl and pay for you this time around?"

"Goddamn double standards." He cursed. You gently punched his arm with your free hand, and he swiped the food right out of your grasp.

"Hah!  Its all mine now. " You chased him around your tiny apartment, the both of you laughing like crazy.

Finally catching up to him, you wrapped your arms around his torso, lifting his taller frame right off the ground.

"Hahaha, oh my god!" Eddie shouted laughing hysterically. 

You set him down on the couch, ripping the big box of food from his hands this time.

"I cant believe you just picked me up. You're so tiny! Where do you hide all your muscles?" He stood up, and poked at your arms with his soft hands. You giggled as he continued to do so and followed you to the kitchen.  

"I actually used to hit the gym a lot in whenever I was in high school. I went through this intense phase of getting fit, I used to always get picked on about my weight,and I never had a boyfriend so I always felt insecure about it. Anyway, I hit the gym and hit it hard. Got in pretty good shape, now I can kick ass, I guess." There was a lot missing to that story, but you didn't feel like venturing too far into it. Eddie nodded his head.

"But you're so tiny." He lifted your arm.

"Yeah, its been at least a year since I've been. Just caught up with life. Between work and school, and trying to keep somewhat of a social life...the gym just isn't much of an option for me right now." You smiled, taking out plates for your food. Once everything was set, Eddie grabbed both of your plates and brought them to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. He grabbed the remote flipping through the channels.

"Want something to drink Ed? Water, beer, a coke?"

"Maybe just some water please." He turned and shot you a toothy smile. While you filled the glasses with ice, you thought about the days events. You spent the whole day with Eddie today, and really enjoyed it. You hoped he wasn't just staying because he thought it would be rude if he left. But things seemed to be going right for you, for once. So, this one time, you convinced yourself that it wasn't true. You told yourself Eddie finds a good friend in you, and he enjoyed your company, as you did his. You poured cold water into the glasses and made your way to the living room, passing one to Eddie.

"Thank you." He looked at you and took a large gulp.

"You're welcome. Find anything interesting?" You sat down and wrapped your fuzzy blanket around the lower half of your body. Your legs were folded under your but and your body leaned toward the arm of the couch to your left. Eddie laughed.

"Comfy?"

"I am now." You laughed. As you were about to reach to grab your plate on the coffee table, Eddie beat you to it and set it gently down in your lap. You smiled up at him, he was so nice.

“Such a gentleman." He nodded, digging into his own plate of food.

“I try to be.” 

Your eyes shifted to the TV to see you were watching some documentary about bugs. What a guy.

"I can change it if this grosses you out. There wasn't much else on." He laughed, mouthful of food.

"Its fine, I know. My channels suck. Thats why I own so many movies." You pointed to the corner where all your DVD's were stocked messily on a shelf. He nodded.

"Maybe we should watch one of those, then." He looked at you.

"Sure, you can check them out. Maybe eat first though, so your food doesn't get cold."

"Way ahead of ya." He winked again. Fuck off. Now he was going to start winking at you too? Like his cheekbones weren't enough. Goddamnit.

You cleared your throat and continued to eat.

"Thanks for spending the day with me Ed." You spoke, after a few moments of silence. Your food was delicious, and judging by the look on his face you could tell he felt the same way.

"Anytime."

"Oh, don't say that. I get pretty lonely quite often." You teased.

"Yeah, well me too.." He said softly, a small smile upon his lips. You observed him out of the corner of your eye, something you had been doing quite a lot, but couldn't help yourself. He was such an interesting guy.

"What do you mean by that?" You questioned curiously. He stayed quiet for a few moments, probably trying to word something properly in his mind.

"I don't know..I haven't every really spoken about my feelings to anyone. Or anything to anyone for that matter. Sometimes, barely even Beth." Ah, her. Almost forgot about her for a while. Almost. You scolded yourself mentally. Don't be such a bitch, Dani. The poor guy might spill something important to you, and all you can think about is your jealousy over his ex girlfriend? You were disappointed in yourself. He continued to speak.

"Talking about it to someone, well, you...just makes things seem more real. Maybe, some things I've been trying not to think about for a long time." He seemed very conflicted. You gently placed your hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort him in a subtle way.

"Beth...She uh-well...I always made it seem like we had the perfect relationship. Like she was perfect, and if anything, she could do better than me." He finished up his plate of food, and set it gently on the table in front of him. You removed your hand to place your own plate, which still had some food left, but you didn't want to be rude while he was talking, down on the table also. You re-adjusted your position so that you were now facing him, legs crossed, blanket still wrapped around your legs. You suddenly remembered when you told him he could talk to you if need be, but you didn't actually think he would. But here he is, ready to probably tell you some serious shit. You suddenly grew nervous. You were happy he had chose to confide in you, but you were most definitely not the greatest when it came your turn to talk. You knew that maybe he wasn't expecting you to say anything at all, because that the way he was. Maybe he didn't chose you at all, maybe he just felt bad about the Stone situation. He knew you felt embarassed about it all, and maybe he wanted to make it more bearable for you by spilling his guts or something. Your rambling mind was interrupted by his sweet voice.

"I used to be so sure about us. The way she felt for me, our future. I thought it was set in stone. Seven years is a long time." You stayed quiet. The only sounds were the noises coming from the TV, but the volume wasn't very loud to begin with. He continued to talk.

"But then this happened. So abruptly, all these changes that were to take place in my life. I mean, I left San Diego, my home, to come here. That was a big enough change, and now the person I spent the last seven years waking up to every morning, I'll never see again." He looked down as he spoke, playing with the hem of his flannel. "My life took a complete turn and now, I feel like I don't know anything. What to do, how to feel, how to move forward. I was going to propose to her." That shocked you. Your eyes widened a little, but you still said nothing. There was nothing you could say, really.

"The first day I came here, after our first jam session, I went looking all around for jewelry stores to find here the perfect ring. Ironically, I didn't see any that I thought she'd like. I guess that was a good thing." He tried to joke lightly, but you didn't really laugh. It wouldn't have really been appropriate.

"I loved her, and I thought she loved me. But thinking about it these past couple of days...deep down, I knew. I always knew." He shook his head. Knew what?

"Knew what?" You repeated outside of your mind this time, quietly, curiously.

"There was always something missing. A piece, always a sense of emptiness in our relationship." You were still slightly confused. 

"Her love. It was never there. Maybe at first, but as time went by... I think she just got used of me being there. I was a part of her life she was just used to having around." You nodded, finally understanding. Your heart hurt for him. You could never imagine someone in there right minds doing that to someone like Eddie. He deserved better.

"I at least thought she cared about me though. But looking back on it... she surely didn't. You don't fuck over the ones you care about." Ain't that the truth.

"I'm a bit scared. I don't know where I stand, with almost anything. The guys seem to like me, but what if I do something stupid and mess up? If that happens, I go back to San Diego to start back at zero again. No girlfriend, no band, no job. Nothing." He leaned his back against the back of the couch. Your eyes followed his all the way there, filled with worry for him. You decided it was time to say something.

"First things first, the guys fucking love you, man. That should not be a worry in your little head, so flush that one away. Okay? If anything, they're probably scared to lose you. After Andy... things are looking up for them right now and I'm sure they don't want their hard work to go down the drain." You leaned over to get a bit closer to him, but not too close. "Secondly, Ed. I'm speaking as a true friend to you right now, whatever happened with Beth is not the end of anything. I mean, it is the end of a relationship, but it’s also a new beginning." He turned his head, eyes bore into yours, he rose a brow in question.

"Well for one, all those feelings of worry, angst and emptiness you felt when you were with her, thats all over with. You won't have that weighing you down anymore." You hoped you worded that properly. "It seems to me, this all happened for the best, for you. It may not seem like it right now, but maybe in a few months you'll be happier than you ever have been. You never know. Life works in some mysterious ways Eddie, thats one thing I can tell you for sure." You smiled lightly over at him. He stayed quiet for a few moments, eyes locked to yours. You shifted uncomfortably, had you said something wrong? You hoped not.

"I think... I think you're right." He spoke, sitting up straighter, tearing his eyes away from your own. Oh thank god. You smiled. "A new beginning. Huh. Never thought of it like that..."He drifted.

You patted his back gently. "Atta boy!" You joked. He laughed and nudged your shoulder.

"Thanks, Dani. Much better than the advice you gave me the other night." He teased. Your jaw dropped and you punched his shoulder this time around.

"Fuck you, I tried!" You couldn't help but laugh, and so did he. Quite some time had passed, and you two went on talking. It nearing 9:00, but you weren't tired yet. After all, you did end up sleeping in quite a bit this morning. You knew you couldn't miss your class tomorrow though. You stood up, the blanket falling to the floor, as you picked the plates up of your coffee table and brought them to the kitchen. You set them in the sink for now, you didn't really feel like doing dishes at this moment.

"Thanks for dinner and the eventful day. I had fun painting with you...oh and letting me rant, thanks for that." He stated awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Anytime, Ed." You smiled warmly.

"I should get going though. I gotta shower, I'm starting to stink."

"Is that what I've been smelling?" You scrunched your nose teasingly and the two of you laughed. You followed him to your door.

"Thank you for spening the day with me, Eddie. And for breakfast this morning. Say hello to my boys for me, alright?" You opened your door for him as he finished lacing up his white boots.

He straightened out and pulled you into a quick, and awkward hug. Safe to say, it didn't last long. He waved goodbye and promised he would say hi to the guys. When he was halfway down the hall of your building he shouted at you "don't forget our gig friday!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Vedder." You waved back at him this time, a toothy grin plastered on your face, as you watched him disappear down the stairs.

[90sgrungewriter]

2. Untitled - Eddie Vedder

Status: Unedited

When we got back inside people hadn't noticed you two left. Well, almost everyone. Stone was always nosy fucker.

"Hey, where'd you two go? You missed the ending of the show you dumb ass." Stone practically yelled, running up beside you. You shoved his shoulder. "Go fuck yourself, Gossard. We just went for a smoke." 

You stole a quick glance at Eddie to see him looking straight toward the now empty stage. You cursed under your breath, you had missed the end of the show. Soundgarden was set to go up next, then it would be Mookie. The rest of you continue to make loud chit chat until the Mudhoney boys come and join. You were about 3 beers in now and you figured you should stop soon, as the effects of the weed and the alcohol mixing were definitely starting to hit you. The last thing you wanted to do was make an idiot out of yourself in front of these other idiots. Logic?

Oh they saw you today as you were leaving, Now they want to hunt you down.

Chris' voice filled the room as they played the show like it was there last. You had always been convinced Chris had the most beautiful voice you had ever heard. But now that Eddie was here, you weren't so sure where your opinion stood.

The first 3 songs were wicked and your eyes were glued to the stage, singing the lyrics out loud. You loved their songs. You always told yourself if you could ever write a fucking song, Chris would be the first you’d play it for. He was so real and honest no matter what, and it was one of your favorite things about him.

"Thank you for having us. We are Soundgarden, and we hope you leave this place tonight feeling something. Something good."

They blasted through their set list and it was a fucking rad time. These boys never cease to amaze me. The music they make, the noise was so good. You were always proud to be somewhat a part of that, and you knew big things would surely come to them one day. You were positive.

Before you knew it, the Mookie guys were getting up to go do their thing. 

"Good luck my boys! Kill it! Though I don't know if it could get any better than that." You joked as Chris was coming around the corner. You knew he heard you as he looked at you, a small smile played at his lips. 

You turned to Jeff, and placed the hat back on top of his head. He winked and gave you a thumbs up before he ran toward the stage. 

"I don't know if it could get better than that, ha ha ha." Stone said in a high pitch, snooty voice trying to imitate you. You flipped him off once again. You bid luck to Mike and Dave but as you looked around to speak to Eddie, he was nowhere to be seen. 

You merely shrugged it off, you were sure he’d do great regardless.

All the boys were up on the stage, setting up. You were making idle talk with the Soundgarden guys, congratulating them on their show. Chris was to your right, his arm casually draped over your shoulder, and the seat to your left remain empty.

"Hi, thank you for sticking around for our show." A soft voice spoke through the mic, none other than Eddie. You smiled to yourself. He looked a bit sweaty, it was probably his nerves. You felt a bit bad, but you didn't know why. I mean he obviously isn't doing this against his will, he could go home to California anytime he wanted to. But he didn't. Not yet anyway. You hoped he wouldn't. He seemed like someone you wanted to stick around, and you knew the boys really liked him. 

"One two three four - what the fuck is this world-" Eddie kicked it off with a great start. I hadn't heard any of these songs yet, and I was thoroughly impressed. Had Eddie written these by himself? You wondered if they would play the song from the demo. You had never heard it before so you guessed it was something he had written. You decided to go grab another beer, as the effects of the last three were wearing off a bit. 

After the first two songs, Jeff spoke loudly into the mic, the sweat all over his body making him look really shiny. It was kind of funny.

"Thank you, this means a lot to us. This is only our second show, and we would like to welcome our new singer Eddie here to Seattle. I know its been a few weeks, but nonetheless, we're still trying not to scare him off." He joked. The crowd cheered and really gave Eddie a warm welcome. 

Thats why they were your friends. Deep down, they were the sweetest humans you would probably ever meet. 

"We would also like to dedicate this show to an awesome friend of ours. She has been with us since the good Mother Love Bone days and this is her first Mookie show, cause she ditched the last one." Stone spoke that last part quietly, but still directly into the mic, a small grin playing at his lips.

 You shook your head, laughing gravely. You knew he was talking about you, and you really didn't like being the center of attention. You would kick Stone's ass later for this. 

"Dani, thank you for not ditching again. This show is for you." They all raised their beers toward me and I couldn't stop laughing. Even Eddie gave a light smile, though his eyes stayed glued to the stage floor most of the time. But that was okay, you understood. It made him look a bit mysterious, it was kind of sexy actually.

What the fuck. You were losing your goddamn marbles. 

You raise your beer in one hand, and the other was flipping Stone off. He surely noticed as he almost spit out his beer to laugh. As they got on with the show, you looked around to notice no one was really looking at you anymore, thank god. 

Chris' arm was still wrapped around your shoulder, his deep voice filling your ears.

"So what do you think of Eddie?" Curiosity peaked his tone.

You smiled. "I think he's cute. Quiet, shy type. Maybe that’s what Stone needs to simmer him the fuck down." You joked, sipping your beer. "The man has got a voice of gold." You praised, your attention returning to Eddie on stage.  

There was something about him that made him stand out to you. He fit in so well over here, but he didn't at the same time. You could tell he was different, and you were wondering if anyone else had cared enough to notice. Your mind wandered for a second.

"I agree. I mean not about the cute thing-" He gave you a look as you started laughing two words in is fucking sentence. He shook your shoulder jokingly. "Fuck off, you didn't let me finish!" He laughed. "He's got a fucking voice man. A great one, and not one that’s trying to be something else, he's just doing him. I like it." He spoke on a more serious tone.

"I know what you mean. I feel pretty bad about missing the first show. Don't tell Stone, he'll think I actually give a fuck." you laughed, looking over at Chris. He laughed loudly.

Suddenly, Kim Thayil was at your other side.

"We talking bout Ed?" He asked, intrigued. You both nodded.

"Yeah, he was pretty bummed out too. He wouldn't stop talking about you to Eddie. Him and Ames. They were pretty pumped to introduce you." Chris spoke, returning the subject.

"I think he likes you." Kim chimed in. This time, you nearly spit out your beer. 

"You're fucking ridiculous." You stated, eyes darting over to Kim.

"Actually, I have to agree." Chris spoke, shocking you.

"You guys are a couple of fucking bimbos. If Stone Gossard liked me, I'm pretty sure I would know by now. I've known the fucker since we were in goddamn diapers." You were getting a bit aggravated at this point, not knowing where the hell they were getting this from. 

They seemed to share a look, while Kim raised both his arms in defending himself.

"Hey, just my opinion." He spoke. You stayed silent, a confused look was plastered on your face.

"I think you'd look better with Eddie anyway." Chris said after a few seconds of silence. Your eyes grew big, and you face palmed yourself.

"I think the last thing that dude needs right now is a fucking girlfriend. He just moved to a city knowing no one but you clowns. He's got a lot on his plate. For all you two know he could have one back home." You defended him.

By this time, they were nearly finished the show and you had yet to hear the song on the demo. You felt a twinge of dissapointment. 

As they wrapped up a song called Garden, Eddie's gaze met mine. You gave him smile and a thumbs up. Then it happened.

He cracked the most beautiful smile in all fucking hell, teeth showing, cheekbones rising. This was it. Him coming out of his shell a little bit and you were happy for him. You knew it would get easier as time went by. Not to mention the crowd being very pleased by their performance.

"We've got two songs left for tonight." The crowd boo'd a little.

"Hey fuck you man!" Mike shouted in the mic and you all laughed. 

Then, music started playing again. You didn't recognize the song, but you definetly were interested. Then, Eddie started to sing...

Sheets of empty canvas, 

untouched sheets of clay..

You were moving your head along to the music. 

By the end of that song you knew it would be one of your favorites. The lyrics were beautiful, and sad. You wondered who he wrote it about. You really wondered if he had a girlfriend back home, but couldn't figure out why she wouldn’t  here with him. Just look at him. He's gorgeous, he's got to have one. You shook your head, trying to rid these thoughts from your mind.

You started to think about some of your past relationships and cringed. They were all pretty shitty. Which is why you were single, really. Your last boyfriend was a mental case. You couldn't do anything. Couldn't even go to school without him thinking you were cheating. And did that ever put a strain on you friendship with the boys. It was a dark time. You were together for nearly 2 years, you stayed because you thought you loved him. Looking back on it now, you surely didn't. Just loved the thought of being in love. 

Then Andy died. 

You flew into a spiralling, never ending pit of depression and you couldn't take it anymore. You had almost considered taking the needle yourself, but couldn't do that to the boys. You couldn’t let them lose another friend.

You needed to flee yourself from that toxic relationsip. And you did. Now, almost a year later and he still tries to get in contact with you once in a while. It was fucking annoying. 

Something suddenly pulled you from your thoughts. The lyrics..

It was the song from the tape. Your mind quickly quieted down as you watched the band play a wicked last song. The song that you were waiting to hear.

Son she said, 

have I got a little story for you...

You jammed the fuck out to that song man and you were sad to hear it end. They thanked the crowd and walked off stage. You finished the rest of your beer and slammed it down on the table, scaring the shit out of both Chris and Kim. You laughed.

"They were fucking awesome. I should go grab there autograph and get some pictures!" Chris clapped his hands together in sarcastic humour. You grinned. 

"Yeah you could be their new groupie." I joked. Kim let out a howl of laughter.

"Fuck you."

"No, your job would be fuck THEM." You pointed toward the sweaty group of guys headed your way.

Chris said nothing, but simply smacked his head against the table. You patted his back and laughed loudly.

"When did you get funnier than me." Was all you could make out of that sentence, as his face was still laying on the table.

What a guy.

"Well, what did you think?" The whole band was looking at you waiting for an answer, but Eddie was nowhere to be seen. You shrugged it off, figuring he just went to grab a beer or take a leak or something.

"It was fucking awesome! Im so proud of you guys, for real. You've come a long way and I can't wait to see where this is going to take you." You smiled wide. 

"Thanks Dani, knew we could count on your unconditional love for us!" Stone spoke in mock gratitude, hand on his heart. You shoved him lightly and laughed.

"I'm gonna head on out you guys. I've got to work in the morning." The clock read 11:38 and you had to work at 10:00 AM.

There were all hums of disappointment, but you had to go. You bid everyone a farewell, and made your way toward the door. You still had no idea where Eddie went, but that was fine. You would see him around some other time.

Sighing contentedly, you start your walk, breathing in the fresh, cold nighttime air. You cursed to yourself, you hadn't brought a jacket with you. Didn’t even cross your mind to bring one actually, and you suffered for it. At least your overalls were on the thicker side, though your arms still froze.

"Danica!”

You spun around to see Eddie running up the sidewalk to catch up with you. You frowned. Maybe he wanted to wish you a good night or something? You started to walk toward him now, meeting him halfway. 

"Hey Ed, you played an awesome show! I wanted to tell you that but you seemed to have disappeared." He smiled small, his head lowering.

"Thank you." He spoke quietly. It was silent for a few moments, so you decided to speak up. 

"I was heading home. Work life in the morning." It was cold as fuck.

"Uh- here." Eddie quickly took off his thick flannel and placed it around your shoulders, almost reading your mind. You were a bit surprised, but flattered by the gesture nonetheless, as you let the warmth and his sent take over.

"Thanks man." You squeezed the flannel tighter. "Jeff was rushing me when he came to pick me up so I obviously had to forget my jacket." you rambled. He nodded.

"Stone asked me to walk you home." He stated quickly. You raised a brow. It wasn't unlike Stone to look out for you, but he never usually asked people to do things like that, he just did them himself. You didn't question it though, just nodded.

"Okay, I'll lead the way then." You spoke, a smile playing at your lips. 

And with that, you both made your way toward your apartment.

[90sgrungewriter]

Hi everyone! Just wanted to thank you guys for your kind words about my new Eddie fanfic! I can’t believe how many messages I’m getting and I’ve only started this blog two days ago! Its heartwarming. Especially in such a dark time for our Grunge fandom. Chris’ passing was so hard, I’m sure for all of us. He was my favorite grunge guy and always will be. I’ve been a Soundgarden fan since I was 13 and its what introduced me to the world of Grunge! Chris Cornell opened up an entirely new part of me that I don’t think anyone else could have. I think we’re all still pretty sensitive whenever he is brought up (I know I am) which is why I didn’t want to start any fanfic specifically about him. I wanted to test the waters a bit, see how I would feel which is why he has smaller parts in my Eddie fic. Just wanted to get that out to you guys and if anyone is still just as upset as I am and would like to talk absolutely feel free to send me a message. Take care everyone<3

Also a little side note, the fourth part will be up within the next few days!

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 7 - I’m Entering Without A Sound

Seattle Washington, July 29 1980

(Andi is 18, Chris is 16)

CHRIS: "I'm sorry if the shirt's a little big..." I say as Andi comes out of the bathroom, her gorgeous dark curls falling down around her shoulders as she adjusts the Black Sabbath Master Of Reality shirt  - her favorite Sabbath album by the way - that I was able to find for her in a thrift store downtown.

"That's ok, I like the leggings though," She says so cutely as she looks down at the black distressed leggings I picked out at the same store with a pair of old Doc Marten's.

" - and the boots are a little scuffed up but - "

"No, it's perfect, I love them," She says glancing back at me with those beautiful brown eyes, flipping her curls out of her face.

n the months since I met her - well really since she randomly just showed up in my bathroom - Andi and I have become really close. Incredibly close in fact. When she first got here she ended up staying here in this time for a couple of weeks and obviously since she didn't have a place to stay, I asked her to stay in the basement with me. Not to you know, like, do anything of course - even though I imagine it all the fucking time- but since there was a spare room at the back with just a box spring and a mattress, I made a makeshift little bed for her grabbing blankets and anything I could find in the house. When I went to go and make sure that it was alright with my mom, Andi stopped me and told me not to.

For a little while, it felt like I was hiding her in the basement since she pretty much refused to go with me anywhere, like when I had band practice or when I had to work. Obviously she wouldn't be able to come to work with me but, you know what I mean. She was so afraid that she would 'mess up' things in this time if she interacted with people aside from me. Even though she already met my mom once really quickly, Andi insisted that I can't tell my mom because of the whole 'messing up things' in this time.

It was confusing at first but I understood, and I really loved having Andi here with me. We pretty much bonded over music, laying on the floor of my basement in front of my stereo, talking about our favorite bands and listening to hours and hours of The Beatles, Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd. She told me more about the bands from her time like Guns N Roses, Metallica and Slayer. She explained that Slayer was like an even more demonic version of Venom, but even faster, bridging on speed metal - whatever that is. She told me she's been trying to work on playing Slash's solo part in 'Sweet Child O' Mine' from Guns N Roses, but she can't seem to get the tone right.

'There's just something about the way he plays it' she said. 'I just can't get it quite right'

I just love the way she talks about her music. The way her eyes light up when she explains how it makes her feel, it's the exact same feeling I get. She just knows... she gets me. Every time she says she wishes she could just play it for me, once again, she's afraid it will affect the time line - or something - and probably because I don't have a guitar here for her to show me. Maybe I'll fix that soon...

I told her more about my band - The Jones Street Band - a cover band obviously named after the next street over where we practice. We play everything from AC/DC to Rush to even punk shit like the Ramones. I really love it when we get into covering some Police tunes, since being a drummer, I can really just go all out y'know?

When I saw her leave the first time, it was like nothing I had ever seen before. She was obviously worried about how I would react but it wasn't anything that scared me. It was actually really amazing and sad to see her disappear. Sad in the sense that I had no idea when she would show up again or if she would show up again but amazing in the sense that there are some things in this world you can't explain. Magical moments that can change your life forever. She warned me before it happened, taking my hand and thanking me for letting her stay and just as she touched me, her clothes fell to the floor and she was gone.

When she came back a month later, I was actually surprised. I honestly thought that I was never going to see her again. She once again appeared in my bathroom, completely naked and it was hilarious because I was in there taking a shower when it happened. She scared the shit out of me. I scrambled for a couple of towels to cover us both as I helped her up to sit on the toilet seat. After she was able to catch her breath, we both just started laughing. She was probably laughing at my girly scream 'cause I swear, I thought I was going to die. Ok, I'm being dramatic but seriously, she really startled me. That's when I decided to make sure I left some clothes for her.

The third time was in June and she ended up staying here for another couple of weeks. During that time we just basically spent everyday together. Since she is still going to school, I asked her how in the hell does she keep up with everything especially since she ends up leaving for periods of time. All she would say is that she manages and that she is able to keep up alright.

When she left that third time, that's when I knew I was falling for her. I had never experienced the amount loneliness like I had when she left that third time. I missed her so much, way more than I thought I could ever miss anyone in my life. She had become my best friend and when she left I knew, I wanted to be just more than friends with her. There just isn't any way that I could tell her yet. Even now, because I don't want to end up messing up the time line either.

Damn, this is complicated.

Before she left though, she did tell me little bit more about how we met in her time and left me a list of dates of when she would be here. When I asked her how she knew when she would be here, she just shrugged and said that she just knew. She was pretty vague on explaining when we would meet for the first time for her, but she said we would meet backstage in the dressing room at The Central on February 13th 1988 but she wouldn't tell me much more than that. Other than when we do meet, to go easy on her and to not say too much because once again she was afraid that she would mess up the time line which would defeat the existence of those dates she gave me which may make it so I would never see her again, but here she is, her beautiful self standing in my living room as she ties up the bottom of the Black Sabbath shirt I found for her.

"Thank you for um... leaving some clothes for me this time, I forgot to say something the last time but I didn't know if I was coming back here or not," She says.

"You're welcome," I say and we sit down in our usual spot on the floor in front of my stereo.

"Um... I'm sorry I hate to ask but, I'm really hungry. Would you happen to have anything - ?" She looks at me with those beautiful dark eyes furrowing her brow.

"Oh yea, of course... jeeze don't be sorry. Um... is a sandwich ok?" I ask as I stand up.

"Anything," She exhales. I give her a small smile and head to the basement stairs, climbing 2 at a time and make my way into the kitchen. Realizing I'm hungry myself, I quickly make us both a sandwich, grab 2 cans of Coke and hurriedly make my way back downstairs.

"Did you write this?" She asks, holding a piece of paper in her hands and flipping her curls out of her face.

"Uhhh... yea but - " I cut myself off and scramble over to the floor, setting the sandwiches and drinks down on the coffee table and quickly take the paper from her hand.

"You're not supposed to see that - I mean it's not finished yet," I say nervously, feeling my voice shake as she looks at me confused.

"What is it?" She asks so cutely, shuffling a little closer to me.

"Um..." I hesitate.

"Is it a poem?" She grins.

"No, not really" I say glancing over the messiness that is my handwriting, a combination of lower and upper case letters scribbled across the page.

"Is it a song?" She raises her eyebrow with a cute little smirk spreading across those perfect full but tiny lips. I glance at her and begin to feel nervous and look back down at the page, then quickly fold it up.

"No, it's... it's nothing," I exhale, running my fingers through my hair.

"Chris, come on tell me, what is it?" She asks so sweetly. I glance back at her and I realize she's moved even closer to me, and all I want to do is just kiss those perfect lips of hers.

"Uh, here... you um, said you were hungry?" I change the subject, stuffing the paper in my jeans pocket and grab one of the sandwiches I made and offer it to her.

"Yea," She says her expression falling a little as she takes it from me, taking a bite. Suddenly she stops eating and sets the sandwich back down on the plate and I can tell by the expression on her face that she isn't feeling well.

"Andi?"

"Chris, I think I have to go," She says.

"No, wait you just got here," I say worriedly reaching for her hand.

"I know, bu -but I'll be back -" She stammers a little which is normal when she's about to go.

"Andi -?"

"Bye Chris,"

"Wait - " and as she leans in to hug me, all that is left is her clothes in a slump on the floor.

*******************************************************************************************

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 4 - Disappearing One

Toronto Ontario Canada, January 31 1972

Andi

"But John this is crazy... there's got to be some way to explain this,"

"Cathy, just relax. Andrea's  fine see? She's in her playpen, no harm done,"

"But I swear she wasn't there a second ago,"

The sound of my mother's voice filled with worry, echo throughout the living room as my father desperately tries to explain just where I've been for the last 8 minutes. If there was a way that I could explain with actual words, since I can't quite make out full sentences yet, I would just tell my mother that I was only just upstairs but 1 year before this current time.

Yes, I know it probably sounds crazy, and completely confusing so allow me to explain.

Ever since I can remember, which is pretty far back mind you, I've somehow been able to slip through time. I still can't quite put my finger on what actually causes me to do so but it's usually only for just a few minutes. As I got older, the length of time that I would slip increased from just a few minutes, hours to eventually days and weeks, even years.

Now I know what you're thinking... "How does one slip through time?"

It should be easy to explain the process but really, unless you've experienced it yourself it's hard to explain just exactly what happens. At first it feels like the most euphoric sensation you can think of. Like you're purely at peace with yourself, like nothing else in the world means anything anymore. Then it changes to nausea and dizziness like you just drank a 40 of Jack Daniels so fast it could make your head spin. Then, just like that, everything goes black and suddenly I'm somewhere else, naked and alone, trying to find clothes, shelter anything to protect myself.

When I was younger and I would time slip, most of the time I would just end up somewhere else in the house only it could be either 30 minutes before, or as far back as actually seeing my mother pregnant with me.

Yes I have gone back in time and met myself before. It's not a regular occurrence mind you, but It's pretty much how I taught myself to pick locks when I needed to and find the right places to hide if I so happened to end up in the middle of a sticky situation. Most of the time I was alright though. Most people, when they see a naked girl on the street, they try to help as much as they can rather than the opposite so for that I'm thankful.

Now I know most people would think "Well how the hell does that happen? What about the grandfather effect, the butterfly effect and all the other effects of nature that rule against the fact that you can go back in time?"

Well to tell you the truth, I don't know. It's not something I can explain. I can only say that I've only ever been able to travel as far back within my own life time. I can't go back and see the amazing symphonies that Beethoven wrote nor, go back as far to stop World War 2.

Meeting a your future self is something that's amazing and strange at the same time. Every time it would happen, my younger self always knew it was my older self. My older self knew not to tell my younger self about the future, but gave me useful tools like lock picking so that I could protect myself. I was very careful at not disrupting anything that could alter my future for the worse. And... like I said, it was very few and far between that I met up with myself anyways.

"Cathy, I think you're just imagining it,"

"John, I know what I saw. I set Andrea in her playpen turned around to grab her bottle and when I turned back she was gone,"

My father then walks over to me, his boots thudding against the hardwood floor. He picks me up, brushing a few curls out of my face while I smile at him and he places a kiss on my little forehead. Leaning into him, I giggle, resting my head on his shoulder, my little fingers playing with the shaggy curls of his dark golden hair that rest just at his shoulders, and that familiar smell of Aqua Velva after shave filling my nostrils with delight.

"What were you up to baby girl?"

His deep voice vibrates through my little frame and all I could manage was a giggle.

"Daaaady," I manage with my little voice and he chuckles placing another kiss on my forehead.

I think for the most part, my father was in denial of the whole thing. I know it frightened him to no end at the fact that his only daughter disappears for moments at a time, with no explanation and no reasoning and then re-appears as if nothing had ever taken place.

He sets me back down in my playpen and I continue on with playing with my little stuffies without a care in the world.

"John, I think we should take her to see Dr. Fresno... maybe he can figure out what going on,"

"Cathy, she's still so young, she's only 2 years old, I don't even know if a neurologist is going to even see anything wrong,"

"Are you kidding? John, it's been happening more frequent than you realize... but wait, you're hardly ever here with us so it makes sense why you're in such denial over it,"

Oh the inevitable arguing. They argue over everything and it always seems that my father is the one to blame. My mother always bringing up the fact that he was never home, that he was always on the road travelling with his band Steel Gates - a sort of Black Sabbath/MC5 hybrid- playing bars and clubs never bringing in any real money. I for one love my father's music. It's so real and the way he can play, I swear he was like the next Tony Iommi.

"Ok well, I gotta head out here and meet the guys at The Edge... are you meeting me later on?" My father says walking away from me and towards my mother, who just stands there with her arms crossed.

"No, I have Andrea to look after,"

"I told you, you can bring her... you know she loves it when she's around the band,"

She just stands there and glances back at me with her arms still crossed, reluctant to even say goodbye to him, even if it's just for a few hours. 

With that, he hesitates for a moment, as I laugh and giggle playing with my little furry friends, then leans in to place a kiss on my mother's temple though she still doesn't look at him. He then turns and grabs his leather jacket, slipping it on as his boots thud against the hardwood floor.

"Ok, well I'll be home later on tonight," His voice deep as he heads out the door, leaving my mother watching me as I play.

******

Toronto Ontario Canada, June 13 1976

"Ok sweetie, now place your fingers here, here and... here,"

"Like this daddy?" I ask looking at the fret board of my amber burst VOS guitar with a white pick guard, my dark little curls falling in my face.

"Uh huh, now strum,"

I scrunch up my face as I try to hold the strings down with my fingers, my father sitting across from me with his own Cherry Burst Gibson SG across his lap, reaching over and helping me place my fingers where they should be. I start to strum and the oddest sound emits from the amp but once I'm able to adjust my fingers perfectly, the beautiful distortion bellows through the amp.

"Yea... alright now put them all together... like this," My father smiles as he starts to play the three chords in succession like he showed me and I follow along with him as we play together.

I had been learning to play guitar from my father for the last few months since we discovered that music seems to calm the time slip episodes down. My mother insisted that we see Dr. Fresno to see just what exactly is causing the time slips and though my father reluctantly agreed to, he did eventually see that it was a good thing that I was seen by a neurologist.

I've been diagnosed with a neurological disorder - time displacency -not an actually medical term I know but there's never been a case quite like mine before. After some testing, Dr. Fresno discovered that it's a relation to epilepsy but is also triggered by a multitude of emotions, especially if I feel stressed or anxious. It can happen either consciously or subconsciously and when it does, a seizure will take place inside my brain at the exact moment, somehow causing a time slip. At first, the doctor did prescribe medication - the type that helps with epileptic seizures - but that was no use. I was still time slipping. Possibly even worse than before.

Nothing seemed to really work until one day I was in my father's studio  - I was 5 years old at the time -and I walked up to Cherry Burst Gibson SG, and started to play with the strings while it sat on the stand. I've always loved his Cherry Burst Gibson and when he noticed just how attached I became to that guitar, he got me one of my own for my 6th birthday - well not a Gibson but it looked exactly like one - so that I could practice with him. He was amazed at how quickly I was learning Chords and strumming for only being 6 years old.

"...ok now change... good... now D...." He smiles as he watches me keep up with him though I keep my eyes glued to my fingers making sure I was changing to the right chord properly. Then he starts to improvise on his own, playing a little solo part while I continue to strum and I look up at him and laugh.

"Wait daddy wait... I wanna do that," I giggle and he smiles at me.

"Alright sweetie go ahead..." He chuckles and I attempt to try to improvise but everything sounds completely out of tune. I scrunch my face up again and stop but my father continues to urge me on.

"I'm not really good at that," I say and he chuckles a little.

"Andrea it's alright... just keep going, you'll get it," He smiles at me. We continue to play, with him teaching me some more and after a little while I hear my mother come down the stairs.

"Andrea, your lunch is ready," She calls and I set my guitar down back on it's stand beside me.

"You coming with me daddy?" I ask.

"No sweetie, you go on ahead, I've got to work on some stuff down here," He says sweetly as he sets his guitar back down on it's stand.

"Ok... um... can I come back down when I'm done?" I ask.

"Of course you can sweetie, you know that," He chuckles and pulls me into him and starts tickling me. I begin to laugh and squeal as he laughs as well, then eventually letting me go but not before placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"I love you daddy,"

"I love you too baby," 

*****

Toronto Ontario Canada,  May 15 1985

"Damn it John, I can't do this with you anymore! I told you this is it! You need to leave!"

"Babe - "

"Don't 'Babe' me. It's done! It's over now just get the hell outta here!"

It was the middle of the night and I wake from my sleep hearing voices coming from downstairs. I push the covers off me and quietly get out of bed, rubbing my eyes to rid the sleep as my dark curls fall down around me. Once I reach the hallway, I can hear my mother screaming at my father from the front door.  As much as you think you get used to hearing your parents fight, you never really do. This time though, it was different.

"Cathy just hear me out ok? It was nothing, it meant nothing - "

"No! Don't fucking touch me! I want you outta here! Just get the fuck outta here!"

I quietly sit myself down on the top of the staircase as I listen to their fight. Even though I was still half asleep, I could feel this strange feeling deep inside my chest. I could hear my father pleading with my mother but she was not giving in. There were so many times before when they fought, that I just brushed it off, not letting it affect me. They were never terribly mean to each other, such as calling each other names or anything from what I  remember, but this time like I said, was different. My mom was just letting it all out calling him everything that you could think of and it makes me wonder just what he did to make her so angry. If he did anything at all.

The strange feeling in my chest grew as he continued to plead with her but she still wouldn't give in. Moments later I hear the front door slam and my mother quietly crying. She then appears at the bottom of the stairs and as she takes a few steps she sees me sitting at the top.

"Andrea, what... what are you doing?" She asks looking away wiping away a tear. I say nothing as she looks back up at me.

"I'm sorry you... heard all that... I didn't mean to - "

"Don't mom, just don't," I say trying to hold my tears back, though I'm not sure why I'm feeling like I need to cry in the first place.

"Andrea - "

She starts but I rise from the stairs and turn to make my way back to my room.

"Andrea honey..." She says as I hear her voice breaking while she attempts to hold back her tears.

"Don't! Just leave me alone," I say, still not recognizing my own voice, hearing myself begin to cry as I hear my mother following behind me. I've never felt like this after they've argued. I've always been able to push the feeling away. Shoving it down into the pit of my stomach and only release it when I play my guitar that my father gave me. This time it's different. I can feel my chest tighten and it feels like I can't breathe.

"Andrea - "

"Go away!" I exclaim and slam my bedroom door leaving her outside in the hallway. As much as I try to will this feeling away, I can feel it growing.

Why? What is this? Why does this hurt so much?

As I feel my heart begin to pick up pace, I close my eyes, standing in the middle of my dark bedroom surrounded with posters of Black Sabbath, Aerosmith, Ramones, and Motorhead, I start to feel euphoric, almost like an adrenaline rush, then completely at peace, then suddenly I feel dizzy and nauseous, like I'm about to vomit.

"Oh god," I exhale and suddenly there's a quick flash of light and everything goes completely black.

**************************************************************************************************

[templeoftheslavegarden]

all the time!!! the worst part is remembering what you were thinking of before going to sleep so you could but then you can’t because you don’t remember lol

Do you have this thing when you want to write a fanfic and you imagine the plot and details before going to sleep in the bed and you promise yourself that you will write it tomorrow but you don’t do this?

[templeoftheslavegarden]

Ao3

Alright, so I started uploading all of my works on wattpad to Ao3 so for any Ao3 users out there that do not use wattpad, the Louder Than Love Trilogy is now up for your reading pleasure. 😁

[templeoftheslavegarden]

Time After Time - update

Alright so for those of you who don’t follow me on wattpad, I’ve basically decided to delete my fic Time After Time and re-write it. As much as I love the idea of time travel, which I am still going to keep it as a time travel story, I’m just going to put it on pause for now and re-publish when I feel it’s ready.

Thanks for sticking with me 😁

[templeoftheslavegarden]

OMG 11K reads on wattpad?! you all are amazing!!!! ❤️❤️

https://my.w.tt/hIl0unb4R0

[templeoftheslavegarden]

Question : Does anyone use adult-fanfiction.org to post stories? I’m just wondering if I post my fanfics there would anyone read them? Or does anyone know if the site is a good site to post to?

[templeoftheslavegarden]

So I’m trying to post a GIF but every time I try to upload it, tumblr just gives me a blank image. Anyways I was trying to post the GIF where Chris says “I have no idea” in an interview... I have it posted somewhere on my actual page but what I’m trying to get at is I’m stuck with my time travel story and I have no idea where to go, so I started another story which I’ll post some parts of it soon. It’s inspired and based off a fanfiction that I had found years ago online and I just wanted to run with it, since that fanfiction story was never finished by the writer. So, I did my own take on it, changed some names and made it work with my style of writing. I’ll post the first parts of it soon, once tumblr gets its shit together lol 😁

[templeoftheslavegarden]

BLOOD & FIRE

Chapter 7 - Spend Some Time, Drink Some Wine - Ehem Whiskey

New York, New York August 7 1994

"Where in the fuck is my bag?" I say to myself as I stand at the luggage terminal inside John F Kennedy International Airport waiting for the little luggage carousel to push out my bag. I feel like I've been standing here forever waiting for it to pop out and each time a bag rolls by it never ends up being mine.

The meeting I had with Susan went really well and I'm so excited that she appointed me as an assistant for Pantera.

Pantera! Can you fucking believe that? I sure as hell can't. Their tour manager needed some extra help so Susan was able to set it up for me and I am so excited. I had already met with Steve Bainbrige just a few days ago and signed a temporary contract with him so that I am able to assist him for the next couple of show dates for Pantera. Type O Negative is also playing a few dates with them as well so at least Kenny will be with me and it won't be so nerve wracking.

The only time I've ever met Phil, Vinny Rex and Dime was when they played a few shows with Soundgarden when Soundgarden was opening for Skid Row. Damn, that seems like such a long time ago. Like another lifetime ago.

This is my first time doing this all on my own and I'm nervous as fuck. I seriously don't want to mess anything up at all. I'm going to try and be confident and professional and not shy and socially awkward just because I'm such a big fan of Pantera. They're playing here at L’Amours tonight so I will get first hand at what it's like to work for Pantera. I'm so fucking excited!

I glance up at the multiple clocks that were lined up on the wall behind the ticket booth indicating what time it was in each time zone, New York showing just passed 4:00PM. I called Kenny earlier this morning letting him know when my flight was in and he said that he was going to meet me here at the terminal. I just hope I hadn't kept him waiting because of this stupid luggage carousel refusing to give me my luggage. After another 10 minutes waiting and it still didn't come out, I walk over to the attendant at the luggage terminal to ask where my luggage was.

"Your luggage ticket number?" The bulky male attendant asks me barely looking up from his computer screen.

"5023" I say a little impatiently. He types a few keys into the computer still not looking at me and starts to shake his head.

"Nothing in the system with that number, what was your flight?" He says still not looking at me.

"Flight 402, the 11:00AM Seattle to New York," I say trying not to sound frustrated. He punches a few more keys and still not one ounce of eye contact. Suddenly I feel a warm hand slide across my lower back under my leather jacket and I glance up and see Kenny looking so freaking amazing in his black button up shirt loosely tucked into his black jeans and leather jacket, his jet black curls flowing passed his shoulders standing beside me.

"Hey babe," He says a little raspy with a cute grin and places a kiss on my temple, his sweet cologne tickling my nostrils perfectly.

Damn he smells so fucking good.

"Hey," I exhale, my frustration diminishing for a few moments.

"Still nothing in the system... last name?" The attendant says to me still not looking up at me.

"Um, Cornell," I clear my throat.

"First name?"

"Andrea," I say and he types some more keys.

"What's going on?" Kenny asks me.

"Trying to pick up my luggage," I say looking up at him as I push my curls out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry there's still nothing here with that ticket number," The attendant says.

"What do you mean?" I ask frustratedly.

"There isn't any luggage with that number," The attendant finally looks up at me but doesn't offer any other expression other than a straight face. I pull out my ticket and show him but he still says that there's no luggage with that number.

"So, what... it's like lost then?" I ask attempting to remain calm but the attendant still offers no sympathy or anything which pisses me off even more especially since he is working a customer service position.

"Did you purchase any insurance?" The attendant asks.

"Well no... but - "

"I'm sorry we can't do anything without insurance," He cuts me off.

"Are you kidding me?" I say as my anger starts to rise.

"Babe, hey... it's alright, Here... let me," Kenny says and moves to the attendant window and talks to the attendant, trying to be sweet at first but as the attendant still shows no empathy or anything, Kenny starts to lose it. As he argues with the attendant I try to pull him back to calm him down.

"It's policy, no insurance, we can't do anything sir,"

"Yea well, fuck your policy!" Kenny exclaims.

"Kenny, hey... let's just go," I say trying to pull him away from the window. He was getting angrier than I was and was starting to create a scene which I don't blame him but I really didn't want to draw any attention.

"Fuck you!" Kenny exclaims as the attendant smirks and shakes his head and I'm eventually able to pull him away from the window.

"I'm sorry babe but what the fuck? He fucking needs to show some remorse or something... like, Jeezus," Kenny says as we walk away.

"It's ok, just... what the fuck am I gonna do now? I only have what I'm wearing right now and a dress in here. All my favorite band shirts and my favorite jeans... and my shoes to go with this dress... fuck me, " I say frustratedly as I look down at my bag slung over my shoulder.

"Hey, it's ok babe... we'll get you something. I've had this happen to me more times than I can count... Just that fucker back there could use some fuckin' customer service training or something," Kenny says which makes me giggle.

He takes my hand in his lacing his fingers through and suddenly he stops us from walking towards the main doors. I glance up at him and he has the most sweetest grin on that boyish clean shaven face of his. His other hand reaches up and cups my face, his thumb brushing across my bottom lip and then presses his lips to mine so soft and gentle, lingering for a few moments as his tongue flicks at my top lip and then he pulls away, touching his forehead to mine. After a few moments we break away from each other as he leads me out of the main doors of the airport.

"C'mon, We'll uh... head to my place," He says.

"Ok,"

Fuck, I've missed him.

*****

A short while later, we arrive at Kenny's apartment, a small one bedroom located in Brooklyn near the lower east side. The building was part of a duplex with his apartment on the upper floor. Once Kenny opens the door, I step inside to see his living room that was attached to the kitchen, scattered with stacked Mesa/Boogie amps and a few of his guitars, a T.V on a small makeshift stand and a stereo record player set up on the opposite side of that, a couch that faced the T.V and a large reading chair to the left with a ton of magazines and scattered papers all over the coffee table and floor. It's such a guys apartment.

It reminds me of the first time I went to Chris's apartment that he shared with Andrew Wood from Mother Love Bone. Chris had it set up the very same way. Guitars and amps all over his room and a string of unfinished lyrics that you could shake a stick at.

"Sorry for the mess, I just hadn't had time to uh, you know... clean," Kenny says immediately walking over and trying to tidy up the papers.

"It's ok," I say and close the door behind me as I watch him try to find where to put everything.

"Kenny it's ok, I don't care really," I giggle as he shoves more papers into a drawer in the coffee table then flips his curls out of his face as he turns to face me.

"You want a drink or somethin'?" He asks so cutely, stepping over a stack of magazines.

"Sure,"

He steps into the kitchen and fumbles around to make some drinks as I set my bag down at the door, take off my jacket, head over to the couch to sit down and glance at some of the papers that were still somewhat scattered around the coffee table. I glance up at Kenny as his back was facing me while making our drinks and then pick up the one piece of paper that caught my attention and read a little bit of it. I didn't mean to be so nosey but I couldn't help it.

"Did you write this?" I ask cutely when he steps back over to me and hands me a Jack and Coke.

"Uh... yea, I did," He says suddenly sounding shy about it as he steps passed my to sit down beside me taking a sip of his beer and turning slightly to face me as I glance down at his scribbling. Funny, how I always thought that Peter was the lyricist and Kenny just came up with the guitar parts.

"You want me to play it for you don't you?" Kenny smirks slyly at me taking another sip of his beer.

"No, no I was just... I mean, not if you don't want to," I say getting a little flustered as he leers at me still. He takes another sip and sets his beer down, then leans over and grabs his acoustic guitar.

"It's not like... completely finished but... well anyways," He says so cutely laying his guitar across his lap and plucks a few strings. I couldn't help but grin a little seeing him get flustered and shy. I shift a little in my spot as I watch him get himself situated, clearing his throat and figuring out how to start. Then he begins to play.

"You give your love to me tonight

You owe your flesh to me for life

You give your body and your mind

I'll fuck your warmth and your lies

My lady..."

He continues to strum and the sound of his voice is so different. I'm used to him singing the small parts when he plays with Peter if Peter can't sing in that range. Here, he sounds so clean but raspy at the same time, with so much emotion that I never thought would come out of him. It's making me feel things that I didn't think I would feel ever again.

"You give your heart I'll treat it right

You bring your flaws I'll give them light

You know I wanna sink deep into you

I'm created to love you and finally lose..."

He trails off and stops but still avoids my eyes and I had no idea what to do for a moment, but then I couldn't help myself. I set my drink down and then immediately move myself over to him take his face him my palms and press those beautiful soft lips to mine. For a moment I could tell that I startled him but then as I started to suck his bottom lip, he moves the guitar from between us never breaking his lips away from mine and responds with his tongue swiping across my bottom lip, his hands immediately going straight to my hips and up under my White Zombie band shirt, to the small of my back and further up.

Suddenly after a few moments, I had to stop myself. I have no idea what came over me or why I started to second guess myself but I needed to stop.

"I can't..." I pull away and he looks at me with those dark eyes completely confused and I don't blame him.

"You can't what?" He asks and I lean my arm on the back of the couch covering my eyes with my palm, forcing myself not to cry. I can feel him still looking at me but I can't bring myself to look at him.

What the serious fuck is happening to me?

"Baby...?" He asks slightly worried moving closer to me. I still couldn't bring myself to say anything and all I could feel was this intense feeling of fear and sadness inside me.

"This is stupid... I'm so stupid... I can't... I just..." I try to explain fumbling over my words and still holding back tears and not letting myself look at him.

"Andi, talk to me... what can't you do?" His voice is calm but still worried as he pulls my hand away from covering my face. I open my eyes to look into his, seeing the worry and concern on his face.

"What are we doing? I mean... what the fuck am I even doing? Fuck I'm not making any fucking sense," I say as I start to get angry at myself.

"Baby... talk to me..." He still looks at me with those eyes and suddenly I let everything out.

I tell him everything. I tell him how I was married to Chris, and that I still am though we are separated and haven't talked to each other since we split, other than breaking out of the contract I signed with Soundgarden which I had to talk to him then but other than that, nothing from him since March. I tell him the reason why we split which was the most difficult thing I could talk about since I haven't been able to talk about it since it happened.

"... we tried for months to have a baby you know? The whole time I thought that there was something wrong with me. Like, my body wasn't working right or something. But, then after so long we just decided if it doesn't happen it's ok. But then it did. I got pregnant and I was so excited..." I say as I look down at myself unable to look him in the eye forcing myself to keep it together.

"What happened?" He asks after a few moments though I think he already knew the answer.

"... I uh... lost the baby. She was um... she wasn't breathing when I delivered... her and..." I trail off fighting the urge to cry and I could see the look on Kenny's face that he could tell how I'm still struggling with losing her.

"...anyways after that Chris and just... fell apart. He started to ignore me and I wasn't any better since I couldn't fucking even get out of bed for like 4 months straight. I tried to make it work once I started feeling better but at that point it was too late. We had already grown so far apart that there was no going back at all. Anytime we talked to each other it just turned into an argument. He just threw himself into Soundgarden and left me alone to fight the horrible pain all by myself..."

I cannot believe I'm letting this all out. There is no way in fucking hell Kenny is going to want me after this. If I were him, I'd be heading straight for the fucking door.

"Jeezus..." Kenny exhales.

"Kenny... I'm so fucked up," I say looking away and trying to stop the tears from coming out. He reaches up and cups my face in his palm, brushing away a stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

"No... no you're not fucked up," Kenny says looking at me with those dark eyes.

"I have no idea why you even want to have anything to do with me... I mean, I'm pretty much like damaged goods here," I say looking back down at myself.

"Andi... I don't know if you've figured this out yet though I thought you would've got the hint from that song, but... I'm fucking in love with you so... if you're fucked up then I'm fucked up too,"

I flick my eyes back to his in complete disbelief. I had no idea what to even say but I also wasn't sure I heard him right.

"What?" I ask quietly.

"I love you,"

**************************************************************************************************

[templeoftheslavegarden]

Ok so I somewhat agree with this but I don’t write for other people, I write for myself and I always have. I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was 13 right up until I was 18 and then had a really long stretch of almost 15 years where I didn’t write a single thing.

About 3 years ago, something triggered me after that long 15 year stretch to start writing again. I don’t know why it happened but it was almost like a 15 year writers block I had that was somehow lifted. I only just recently started posting to sites like wattpad (Louder Than Love was the first story after that 15 year block) and when I posted it, I didn’t even consider other people reading it cause I was just writing for myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it when people interact with my story and leave comments and I’ll always respond back but that’s not the sole reason I write. I write for the freedom of expression, I write for the sheer art if it and I write to honestly just to escape and help myself feel better. It’s not that I don’t care when people interact, it’s that it doesn’t determine whether I have an idea or not or make me write any faster than I would either way, if that makes sense. If I get stuck on a story, I’ll just leave it for a while and start another one. I know I will eventually come back to it.

And I also write because no one ever writes about Kenny Hickey from Type O/Seventh Void/Silvertomb. I mean I know every one loves Peter Steel but what about Kenny? He is one sexy motherfucker... like hello?🔥🔥🔥❤️😍😍😍🤤🤤

Anyways, that’s just how I feel. Fanfiction is alive and well in my world and if I can’t seem to find a story about the ones I adore (Chris Cornell, Kenny Hickey... sometimes Jon Bon Jovi... Dime... etc) I’ll just write one myself and maybe it will inspire others to do the same ❤️

Fanfiction is dying.

I see less and less varied content, and less and less new content in general.

Fanfiction is dying because audiences aren’t responding.

How lazy do you have to be not to take half a second to hit the kudos button on Ao3? You’re right there anyways!

Tumblr is a whole other monster for other reasons, so I’m not even going to touch on that.

But Ao3 used to be the hotspot. And now audiences are letting it die. Eighty hits to zero kudos is a sad, sad ratio. Even earlier this year, a fic would have five kudos by the time it reached 40 hits. Using a fic of mine as an example, out of those 80 hits, 5 people have subscribed, yet the kudos count and the comments remain at zero, despite having six parts posted.

Five people took the time to subscribe to the work because they want to keep up with it. They want to know when I post, they want to see what happens next, so they hit that subscribe button. But they didn’t hit the kudos button. They didn’t leave a comment.

I’ve thought about deleting that series (and other series as well) because no one comments. No one leaves kudos. People always say you should write for yourself, but I say I can daydream all I want just for me. Why bother writing it down when I have a perfectly good imagination that takes way less effort than spending hours typing at a computer?

I am not a library. You don’t get to sit there in the building and read without having to check the book out.

I am also not getting paid. I don’t need to be paid, because it’s something I enjoy doing. But it isn’t enjoyable to see people consume and consume and consume free content without so much as a thank you.

Imagine if someone had a booth at a comic con or a local festival where they handed out a free product. You wouldn’t walk up to the booth, grab the product without even looking at the booth runner, and walk away without a word, would you? Because that would be rude! You would go up to the booth and ask the booth runner questions about their free product and why they decided to make it with the materials they did, and then you would thank them before you left.

I’m not saying you have to literally thank fanfic writers for their work, but interaction is key. If you don’t interact, it feels like no one cares. If no one cares, what’s the point of posting?

Fanfic is dying because people aren’t interacting. No one is commenting, interacting with, or inspiring the writers, no one is even doing the bare minimum of clicking a stupid little heart button that’s right in front of their cursor when they get to the end of a chapter.

I know a lot of posts take the nice approach about this, but evidently the nice approach isn’t working. Keep fanfiction alive. Show some appreciation for the hard (free) work that goes into it.

Stop killing fanfic and at least do the bare minimum of interaction.