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thecoolerliauditore · 12 hours

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Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

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fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

youtube

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

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"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

#asks #random thoughts

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idsb · 1 month

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boi oh boi do I got some problems for anons to unpack with me tonight

When my current partner and I first got together (formally) in the late summer / early fall of 2020, he had JUST started part-time living at our friends house back in New England. He moved in, from New York, with her, because she had just ended a 10 year relationship and was mega-alone and mega-depressed. The beginning of this relationship was spent with him writing music with her as she coped with this breakup, etc. We were both sort of an emotional crutch for her while she had her (well deserved ffs) hoe phase, had her first boyfriend after the fact, they broke up, she spent some time alone and Worked On Herself, and then got into another relationship, which turned out to be a LTR.

I think I have posted on here (or maybe I haven't) about how hard I struggled with the fact that, after we moved to Montana and came back and the pandemic was declared "over", I moved back to NYC. He stayed in New England, and stayed there for another 2 years. I told him over and over and over and over again how driving back and forth to a place I was so burned by and had been longing to leave for my whole life (this friend lived, mind you, 10 minutes down the highway from my hometown), feeling so impermanent in NYC, the place I was trying to make my new home; never there enough time to establish anything real with anyone between tours and splitting time between NY and a place I resented, and it was killing me. Absolutely destroying me in every way. He had a lot of reasons which he thinks are justified but I don't agree with, and could nitpick how BS they are extra in hindsight (but won't here and am trying not to mentally do it irl): wanting to buy a house and liking that he lived somewhere for free + wanting to hang on to that as long as he could to save money for the house (v short summary, he was her employee for music stuff so she let him live there for free), he wanted a yard and a secluded home where he could make music loudly at any time of day in a way the city couldn't provide, etc. I begged him to move anywhere. I told him I'd leave NY, etc. We planned to move to Arizona, to Utah, back to Montana, but it kept getting pushed back to someday, someday, someday. This has long been litigated between us and forgiven, and he's been made to understand why it hurt me, and I can tell he's sorry about how it made me feel etc. so that's all fine.

Anyway, what finally DID make him move in with me was that this friend's LTR boyfriend wanted to move in, so he was kicked out. We, again, also, have long litigated the fact that this hurt me and made me feel like a consolation prize.

Now, though, this very same couple has just gotten engaged. And, okay, I know every couple moves at a different pace, obviously. That's a fact of life. But I've seen SO many couples, who got together LONG after we did, get engaged in the past year. That's the.... "normal" pace. I spent 5 years of my life in a different dead-end relationship already; and on this blog we've been over the numerous transgressions that made this current relationship sputter and stall out a few times like an almost-dead car engine. To be fair, me going to Australia for a year didn't help the "timeline" aspect, either. But I always justified the dead-end first LTR by saying, well, we got together when I was 17. Thank GOD we didn't get married! But how am I now here again, in a relationship that will, technically and as far as I'm concerned, be 5 years old in a few months, not one iota further than I was in the dead-end relationship from when I was 17? It doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel fair and even though the math is mathing and the things that happened in the past hurt and needed time to smooth them over, I find myself just so ANGRY that I've never been able to find and fall into something easy, like everyone else I know. I'm happy to have the prize I fought so hard for; I wanted it; I fought for it. But I look around at all the relationships that didn't start in complete disaster like mine did; girls who dated men with intense commitment issues and saw them for a waste of time, looking for the ones that were already ready and found them and slipped into something easy and simple and loving, and are already married off with that person. Why did I hurt myself so bad? Why did I fight so hard? Just to wind up triggered by waiting due to past events of this relationship and of the previous one; feeling unwanted as a result of lack of forward momentum, only waiting again now because of the WAY the waiting the first time fractured us and needed to be smoothed over? I don't know if I'm articulating it properly, but it fucking stings. And I don't say this to blame him because it's not his fault; not anymore, because he's more than atoned for all the Bad Stuff in the beginning. But that doesn't make the consequences that those things are having now any less real, and it doesn't help when I'm left to think about those things constantly while I attend wedding after wedding that isn't mine from relationship after relationship that started long after.

I also don't really feel like I can bring this up, because every SINGLE milestone of our relationship has been due to me begging for something to happen. I don't know how I can spend eternity in good consciousness if I do that to the last one too, and never get the satisfaction of knowing it was something he actually wanted. We're also also about to go on a trip in 2 weeks, and so I'm like, hey, maybe it'll happen there, but I want that feeling to come with EXCITEMENT, not relief and not some depressing just box to validate. And if I bring this up now, not only will I feel like it's forced, but I might shoot myself in the foot by causing another delay that fucks everything up to death,

UGH.

#maybe this is too fucked up y'all don't even want to touch this with a 10 foot pole #valid #actually it kind of reads like a Taylor Swift 2021 diary entry probably #don't be too swayed by the results of that one DFHJGKSD

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mayapapaya33 · 2 days

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Knowledge and Power

I've been thinking about this for a while. They are in Vasselheim now, Is the Horn of Orcus ok? Has it been unsealed? Did someone manage to sneakily steal it when the solstice happened? I NEED TO KNOW MATTHEW!!! I'm mid episode 104. I know we have a lot going on right now, but Matt keeps dropping hints about what's happening elsewhere in the world, like Desirat being released from their prison, all of Vasselheim's dead rising, stuff like that. I need to know about the Horn! Come on Matt, give us a problem for Campaign 4! lol. It's great storytelling, fleshing out the reality that Bells Hells are one group of many fighting the good fight and a lot of shit is currently on fire right now. I've loved every bit of it.

The Horn of Orcus was also the first and most prominent time the concept of dangerous knowledge came up in the game. Not just in a "knowledge is power" way, but in that, by knowing the information you are giving power to something bad and opening yourself up to trouble, literally just by possessing the knowledge in your brain. It's such an interesting concept to explore in a magic setting. How knowledge and worship and power intertwine.

I myself am very anti-censorship Irl, but the very rare times it's justified in my opinion are for things like recipes for horrific biological or chemical weapons, stuff like that. That concept can be broadened in the context of magic, like in C2 when reading that book gave Beau and Caleb magic eye herpes lmfao. Usually I am very much on the freedom of information side of things, so Ludinus threatening to share information was a bit of a meh threat to me personally at first. While it would be very disruptive in the short term, and people may indeed kill each other over it, I do think historical truths should be freely disseminated, not hidden for fear that people are too stupid to handle it. (Even though people ARE often too stupid to handle it, we have a right to our own stupidity I feel).

What I'm wondering is if Ludinus is making a subtler play than they are imagining. Yes divide and conquer is a good tactic, and that information will help him get people disagreeing. But more than that, shaking the faith of mass swathes of people all at once CAN'T be good for a Godly constitution. I don't think it's just about swaying people to his cause, I think he's trying to strategically weaken the God's power base before the big throw down with Predathos. Kind of like what Vecna did/ tried to do in late C1. So stopping Ludinus from sharing this information might end up being VERY important in the grand scheme of things.

Yes people already knew the Gods destroyed Aeor, and I think it was even known that the Primes and Betrayers formed a temporary truce to handle the threat. But knowing that information academically and seeing it firsthand are two VERY different things. Seeing the Primes care about and bicker with the Betrayers like... well...siblings, may come as a slap in the face to the truly devout. Also how many people actually knew that about Aeor or that Aeor even existed? Not everyone is proficient in history nor religious studies. Not to drag this too much into the real world, but how many religious people actually read whatever book they claim faith in cover to cover and know the whole history of it? It's definitely not all of them lol.

I bet there's plenty of religious people in Exandria that don't know shit about Aeor. Most people in Vasselheim probably would, because that place is THE God city on Exandria and survived the Calamity, but everywhere else? Unless they were specifically interested in religious history, why would they know it? So the reveal has the potential to be very impactful still, both for it's visceral feeling in exposing a peak into the God's relationships, and their deeds, and it will still be new info for some.

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chronically-enthusiastic · 1 year

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Hello there, thanks for stumbling across my blog!

(Here's a lil comic I made for a school assignment)

Artblog: @chronicallyartistic

Audio drama blog: @chronically-listeningtopodcasts

I'm going to start putting my social energy levels in my bio... There's a lot of stuff I want to respond to but i currently dont have the energy to do so, and so if I don't respond within like a day, check my bio and see that...

Who am I / Where else can you find me?

First of all, feel free to call me Eli!! I'm on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis. I am agender and aroace-spec.

I am verrryyy enthusiastic about the things I am interested in (hence the URL hehehe). And currently, those are: podcasts (theres a list at the bottom of the post), good omens, ofmd, bbc merlin, star trek!!!!, lotr, and probably more things that I am too tired to think of right now!

I use the queue! Im not awake at the ungodly hours i sometimes am seen posting at, I just dont want to utterly flood peoples dashes! I do reblog fandom stuff and things ive added anything to immediately, so if you see a few posts in short succession, im online!

I am a very big fan of the oxford comma and double brackets. Semicolons are pretty cool too. And ellipses are incredible.

i love all of my mutuals dearly!! Making cookies and hot chocolate for you all <33

I try to use tone tags as much as possible!

Boundaries:

Things I am okay with sharing/doing:

My age, gender/sexuality, things about my guinea pigs!!, and most other things

Things I am not okay with sharing/doing:

The city I live in, pictures of me/anyone I know, my full name, my birthdate, my phone number/email address, meeting up with people irl, sending/receiving money/gifts, dms (<- though if we're mutuals and interacted a lot dms are fine!!)

^ this applies to everyone im not in the discord with

I will let someone know if they cross boundaries, and *really* would like other people to let me know if I cross theirs!!

DNI: people who are here to spread hate and anger. Just, stay away. I dont engage in discourse. I know DNIs dont deterr these people, but this is a demonstration of my core values :)

Tags:

(At the top cause otherwise it will get lost) ALSO #tw body horror

I block quite a few tags but most notably #tw war and other ones to do with the war in israel/palestine. This is not because I don't care. I care so so so much about what is happening and I cry every time I see a post about it. It breaks my heart that such horrible things are happening. However, I really struggle with high empathy, and seeing a post about it can really affect me for a while, and I need tumblr to be a safe space away from the real world problems. If I follow you - please could you tag things to do with war. Thank you <3

Updated to clarify - I do block the generic tags such as Israel and Gaza, which most of the posts are tagged with by the op, so if you forget its no big deal!!

A list of all the podcasts I listen to because y'know, its fun:

Fiction:

The Amelia Project

Wooden Overcoats

The Adventure Zone

Sherlock & Co

Alba Salix

Unseen

And a whole lot more that i no longer listen to either because they havent updated or they are a little too creepy (Welcome to Night Vale falls into the latter category)

Science:

The Sci Guys

Lets Learn Everything

Lingthusiasm

A podcast of unnecessary detail.

Comedy/other:

Dear Hank and John

The Unmade Podcast

Books Unbound

Lateral

A book list of recommendations from mutuals for my own use:

abigail by Magda Szasbo (@mack-anthology-mp3)

The Alphabet of Candice Phee (@jamie-dinow)

A list of music reccomendations from mutuals:

in the lap of the gods revisited by queen, why can't i be you by the cure, pyramid song, and lucky & the tourist by radiohead, when the sun hits by slowdive, dancing barefoot by patti smith, tangerine by led zeppelin, autumn sweater by yo la tengo, rubber ring by the smiths, water by pj harvey (from @/mack-anthology-mp3)

imi hendrix’s all along the watchtower (from @/catholickedd)

#pinned post #eli has a thought

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petrichoraline · 9 months

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Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

i got tagged in the summer lmao i've been struggling cause i simply can't make a completely honest list - my taste is too fluid and the definition of "fave" is a blur to me

thank you to my lovely @tenprem and @littleragondin for tagging me, consider yourselves tagged again in case your answers differ vastly from your previous ones hahah

💓Fave bl: default answer is Bad Buddy, current - Last Twilight and Cherry Magic..and Cooking Crush

👨🏻‍🤝‍👨🏻Favourite pairing: as in actors? if i say GunSing am i gonna get ToddBlack again? (im fine with DrakeSing too y'know, im just being teased atp)

honestly i don't know, i think of actors i really like but i'm not big on their counterparts..? i enjoy it a lot when they mix and match, i don't have anyone i particularly follow.. i will say MaxTul were super powerful, i really appreciate the bonds between a lot of pairs like ForceBook and i think some of them have amazing chemistry like FirstKhao but even though there are a few i would always try to tune in for like OffGun and YinWar, there's no one i can call a fave, i don't think..currently JimmySea are eating it up tho

🎭Most underrated actor: just the Wayufilm crew in general, I see them do fundraiser lives on yt all the time and I don't think they're that well known by the fandom

🧍‍♂️Favorite character: ig it is Karan currently, Tay really made the character shine in a different way than Machida Keita's Kurosawa and i can't get enough of those puppy eyes

🕴Favorite side character: rn it might be Metha from Cooking Crush? he's just a bit too charming for someone i'd punch if i met him irl..or Fire, i think writing about him made me fond, they're both so..this

📽Favorite scene: from all the thai bls i've seen?? there's beauty like THAT ITSAY scene, there's unexpected scenes i come back to like WaanTul in the last episode of Between Us, there's Nuea and Toh finally getting everything out in the open..there's the Kitty Gang in FUTS going up the elevator, the ep.5 KinnPorsche scene..most of PatPran's scenes!! like how am i supposed to even start choosing lmao

i'm gonna say (after i catch up with my shows this whole list would prolly be different, it could be Karan's scream soon) the one from my recent shows is the rooftop scene from LTTS..sue me for being basic, i'll plead guilty

📝Favorite line: nth has ever quite stuck with me as "do you want us to be friends?" "no." so let's go with it

🃏Most anticipated bl and why: let's say Jack and Joker hahah, I hope it works out <3 i want to see a project YinWar have certain freedom over completed successfully - even if it ends up not being my thing, they deserve to share their talents and artistic vision. they are trying something new, maybe there will be a nice balance between comedy and drama and also it seems like those characters are meant to be whipped for each other and YinWar can pull that off splendidly

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨Healthiest relationship in a bl: PatPran and PuenTalay are the first to come to mind, the communication and conflict resolution skills are on another level

💢Most toxic relationship in a bl: I suppose it would be VeeMark before the end or maybe DimGreen from 2gether? I also personally don't like Mayom and Nadia from My Ride but I can't tell if they're actually toxic 😄 and im reminded of GramBlack cause that friendship sucks imho

OH WAIT PiMork is pretty bad. yeah, maybe not the worst but they've got a spot on the list..and ig TehOhAew but I have not actually seen s2 so overall I don't have a definitive opinion :')

🍿Guilty pleasure series: i guess it would be Cause You're My Boy (My Tee) because everyone hates on it but I binged it and had a good time 🤷‍♀️ also I Will Knock You cause it has some questionable elements but it's also very special

❎Most underrated series: out of what I've seen it would obviously be Rainbow Lagoon but it's two episodes, not sure if it counts as a series.. really sweet short watch though, you should give it a try here 🥰

also maybe The Best Story? I didn't like it that much because of the ending but it's younger YinWar and I never hear anyone talk about it; I'd say they were pretty good at it 😊

i'm tagging @sommmnus @forcebook @catboyjosten @sparklyeyedhimbo @lovesickfolly @sollucets as per usual no pressure and sorry if youve done it ❤

#i look like such a bad buddy fan? which i dont really define myself as #but you gotta understand that was the show that got me into this fandom and its honestly just soo good #also now im aware pairing means like characters but pls dont make me choose im at my wits end hahah cause id have to consider sides as well #and ill straight up postpone this by three more days #i have so many tag games to catch up on that if i start tagging everyone yalls notifs would go crazy #so pls just consider yourselves tagged if you want to participate in smth ill literally add you to the post lmao nobody needs to know shh #ppg #tag game

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atla-recluse · 7 months

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About That One Moment in "Another Five More Short Graybles":

Content warning: A few references to abuse and abuser-victim dynamics, plus some images/artwork that some may find very disturbing or triggering.

Conclusion:

I truly believe that this moment, and maybe more-so what likely happens after it, are the moment that solidified Lemongrab 1's complete shift into tyranny and unlimited cruelty. When I say that, I'm not just talking about the toy and his anger over it. It's not and was never (just) about the toy (seriously, this dude could and would have snapped over anything).

It's about OG LG's increasingly intense need for control over everyone and everything and his ever-growing layer of extreme rage over...stuff from the past...that is always there. Taking is a bit further, it's actually about how LG viewed himself and his impulsive/compulsive behavior at that point.

Background:

So, a lot of people seemed to have thought/still think that LG is lacking in self-awareness, but I think this couldn't be further from the truth. LG is hyper-aware of himself and his actions. He knows there's something "wrong" with him. He (and those around him) just don't know what. So everyone in and out of universe find it easier to just be vague about the problem or not touch it at all.

I'll tell you what I think is wrong with him though: He's can't figure out how best to showcase empathy with others, or even fully decide if he truly wants to at all, so he typically just chooses not to.

(Also, he seems to be naturally more persnickity and "intense/passionate" than others, including LG2 even. At least when it comes to his beliefs and convictions. People irl who are like that can imagine, because of how we sometimes come across to others, even if we're trying to change.)

Wait, what? I'm actually arguing that LG1 is/was capable of empathy, you ask? YES I am. Because he was. The moments were small, but they were there and were very significant to those who care. OG LG had what I'd call "limited" empathy as well as "optional" empathy. He wasn't the best with others' emotions at initial meetings but he could understand concepts like that of insult, bonding (but couldn't do it himself at first) and not wanting to die or get hurt. (I might finish a post that explains some examples in the near future.)

He also chose who it was he would bestow his empathy upon for random and not-as-random reasons. In this sense, he's not that different from many of us. I also feel as though he could have had his sense of empathy increased and smoothed out with proper nurturing. But as we all know, that didn't happen.

Conclusion Expansion (1):

We see throughout his arc, that LG1 increasingly worsened over time. Not solely though. For a blip of a period, he seemed to be improving, happy even. That period was of course when he was still close with LG2. Then, the fight happened.

Slight (Noteworthy) Sidetrack:

It was so violent, even without showing us the gore. I'm actually a little shocked that there are people who think that scene is mainly or even only hilarious. It's terrifying to me whenever I see it, to the point where I often prefer to avoid it. That scene, to me, was yet another example of how much of an abuser LG1 has become, since his physical or emotional abandonment and/or since his creation. Is that obvious yet? LG1 was not just "lol random11!! hahaha craziiii!". He was insanely abusive. He was arguably abused himself, but that doesn't change the fact that he was an abuser, too.

He even showed all the classic signs of an abuser as far back as "You Made Me" but, really, it was truly first shown in "Too Young".

Conclusion Expansion (2):

His brother (Which I think was meant to be seen as being to LG1 whatever you wanted to see him as, homophobes!) along with Lemonhope, got the worst of it and perfectly illustrate two different types of lives and mentalities of many abuse victims.

One becomes, in a way, very self-centered and wants to escape no matter what, but stops thinking about what the rest of his family may be going through, also. The other wants to help others going through the same and won't leave them behind until the they have escaped on some level, even if it kills him (assuming he had the option to leave).

And tell we don't know plenty of irl examples where other families also went through an older sibling or partner taking advantage of and mistreating a younger sibling or partner. (Don't think too hard about the LG's being "brother-lovers", alright? It's all symbolic, anyway.)

Now a big question I and likely others have is this: Is he really "just like that?"

Frankly, I think he partially or fully either inherited it or learned it from his experiences. Or someone else... But I digress.

So yeah, I don't believe LG was just/solely born that way. Something about him changed sometime after he was born, I feel. But again, I can't quite say what because it was left ambiguous.

When he attacked his best friend for the first time and in such a gruesome manner... Well...ask yourself how that scene probably continued for the two of them? We actually saw the least scary part. Here's what I now headcanon as being the "right after":

LG has always had issues with his view of self and it causes him much pain. He doesn't know how to express the problem, so he basically just spazzes out. He seemed to have improved once his brother/partner came along, but in fact, this was only an illusion.

LG never properly healed from his trauma or bad habits, because no one—not himself and certainly not others—worked with him to treat and eventually heal that trauma and reverse those bad habits. (It doesn't mean they didn't want to, though.) It was only a matter of time before he lost it on his brother and people over something petty. Two beings can never be exactly the same anyway, "twin" or not.

(I'm not sure what the name of the artist who made this is. It's an amazing and very emotional piece, though.)

So with those awful images in mind, I think LG1 after devouring most of his own partner, may have paused for at least a moment, as LG2 managed to crawl away and look at him with such fear and hurt (perhaps looking like a reflection of himself) that LG1—if his self-awareness was on 100 that day—looked back at the mess he'd made of LG2's body and how their relationship would never be the same now, and decided "Haha wow...I AM a monsteerrrr!!!!".

And from there, he decided to just lean into the persona completely. After all, what did he have to lose? What important figure in his life up to this point didn't see him that way, anyway? Now even the partner he once loved and who once loved him, did too. Might as well accept it and just solely act like what everyone already knows him to be. Which to LG means just act like his usual self, btw. Control freaks like him can only relax for so long...

And that, everybody, is why that scene in AFMSG is so significant; and imo, devastating.

It should also be noted that despite what we see LG1 do to LG2, that he doesn't completely devour him (why, we don't know) and that he gave him (likely created for him) a tool that would allow him to still move around and didn't give him a shock collar. So LG2 is still a cut above the others in LG1's mind, it seems, but that doesn't mean that things hadn't reached rock bottom for them. They just had further to go, is all.

LG1 clearly no longer pedestalized LG2 anymore (and vice versa) and on some level likely blames LG2 for how he himself chose to react (pretty on-brand for both of them). Hence why, like some abusers, he seemed to now be withholding affection from LG2, wouldn't hear or accept LG2's own thoughts and opinions, (may have) starved him and why he pushed him down into and kept him in a subordinate position (something we once actually see him physically do to him at the dinner table).

Oh and here. Have another self-aware Lemongrab, far beyond post brother-attack:

This wild lemon man knew he was the monster/villain of the story at this point. 🍋 🥲

"Looking for something?

Well, you found me; Fat Lemongrab." - Original Lemongrab

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therk900 · 8 months

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🫧February TC Challenge (Day 1-29)🫧

1. Do you have more platonic or romantic feelings for them? Romantic feelings tbh

2. Have they ever physically touched you? Yes. A has lots of times, mainly through high fives or "accidental" knee touching! I have touched S's shoulder once. M and i have knocked hands a few times

3. Would you ever plan to pursue them when you graduate? (And when you’re legal) Maybe! Haven't completely decided yet

4. Do you know their birthday/zodiac sign? I know what zodiac sign S is since i know his birthday

5. Do you know their favourite colour? Nope

6. What do they teach? B taught English, M and S teaches science. S also teaches Italian.

7. Do you think you’re their favourite student? I have no clue. Hopefully i am!

8. Are they tall, short, or average height? S is tall. And i mean VERY tall. B is average...man height?? A is 5'11" and M is just a bit shorter than S. I think N is around the same height as M, maybe a cm taller

9. Do they have any pets? B did have a cat once, but it had to be put down when B was 16. M also had a couple pets

10. Do you ever plan to confess your feelings to them? (Careful with this one, they could possibly lose their job or get you in trouble) I don't know, maybe not. i don't want them to lose their jobs. maybe after i leave if i keep in touch with them

11. Do you know any of their talents? S is good at netball if that counts as a talent. N knows how to play the guitar and A knows how to play an instrument (i forget which one 😬)!

12. How often do you think of them? Most of the time

13. Have you told anybody irl about your crush? Yes. I have told my friend. She is the only one that knows

14. Be honest: Do you think you're in love? Happy Valentines Day everyone! To be completely honest, maybe! There are so many things that i've done with all of them that have stuck with me and still make me happy!

15. Do they motivate you to come to school? They motivate me all the time

16. Have you ever seen them cry? I haven’t, no

17. What kind of dynamic do you guys have? M is so fucking nice and caring towards me! He just treats me more differently then other students! A said to my mum personally that I’m his favourite student! He is fun to be around! S likes to joke around with me all the time, and we have this special bond and also treats me differently than other students! B used to be so caring towards me! N is like S!

18. Have they ever caught you staring? I'm pretty sure on multiple occasions

19. What was the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of them? (All of us have done some pretty embarrassing stuff, let’s be honest.) Falling in front of S multiple times (haha, i'm so clumsy) and crying in front of B

20. Do they make you feel safe/loved? Yes

21. Have they ever rendered you speechless? Multiple times. It is a bit embarrassing when it happens. They help me to get my words out which is good

22. Are they a good teacher? They are amazing! Other students think so as well

23. Is there something they do that gives you the ick? No

24. Are you guys close? Well, kind of. With M, N and S, we are very close! A and i are quite close as well! B and i were close, but not as close as the rest.

25. Have you ever looked for their initial in those stupid TikToks that eight year olds make? I have a couple times. I just do it for fun

26. Have you ever dreamed about them? Plenty of times! I love each and ever one of them

27. Do you see yourself in a relationship with them? Kind of

28. Have you ever cried in front of them? I have cried in front of B and N once. S saw me just after I have cried which was embarrassing. M has seen me nearly cry. i was so close to crying in front of him, but i didn't.

29. How often do you speak to him/her? All the time

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echolaliaplayer · 8 months

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Long winding rant about bullshit under the cut, I warned you

what part of trans Tumblr am I even in. Every day I keep finding new [animal]girl[body part]s so I don't think it's that part of trans Tumblr. I refuse to post with any kind of seriousness so it probably isn't the theory girls as much as I appreciate them. I don't really hornypost much anymore although I'd like to change that. I guess it's largely up to how others see me. Why am I here?

I don't think I have the follower count to be clouted on here and frankly that seems hollow compared to the fun I had in just finding people (or people's accounts, as one such account pointed out to me) I could befriend or associate with to some degree. It's fun (? - wrong word but there's an enjoyability to it that makes it repeatable) to just care a little bit though I lack the proximity or resources for anything more than words with those people, so I get it might not be for everyone. I guess it's all I have in place of exchange of small trinkets with people met along travels I also don't have (although I do plan to exchange parcels or digital files with some of you and I'm looking forward to it). I'm worried there might be a critical mass at some point where I simply don't have time to meet new people because I have to keep up with old mutuals and balance real life friends and what not. If we're mutuals and you're reading this far and I haven't contacted you it's certainly nothing personal, you're recognisable to me most likely I just haven't had time/courage I probably think you're really cool.

So that also leads me to the question of my current Tumblr use pattern. This stuff is mental cigarettes for me. I'm on here hourly at least if I'm not completely preoccupied by, like, sleep, driving, sex, showering, random activities that require my full attention. Eating alone or shitting are not sacred frankly. Not sure that's very good for my cognitive health or just like. Life experience. How I relate to people IRL. That's had issues long before this account so it isn't the sole culprit but it's something to keep in mind. It reinforces a tendency for easy stimulation that I think can thwart conversational ability; it turns the other party's words into one-sided consumption with little consideration for reply (although my job does this as well, it's the whole point of it) and frames how you approach responses in a way that is less about a meaningful reply and more about. Idk. Generating something someone undefined approves of - no that's wrong. I just no longer feel in the moment in a lot of conversations, absorbed to a degree by time with another. I desperately want that back. This isn't really about Tumblr at all is it. This is about the very short loop that my brain goes through that prevents me from acquiescence to a moment. Nothing feels lived. It hasn't in a long time and I'm only getting flickers of it with HRT. Clearly dysphoria hasn't been my only problem for a long time but how would I know? My hormones haven't been right and

It's such a tough loop to even approach. Probing it mentally causes nausea. I was acutely aware of it the last time I was on psychedelics and I spent the whole time feeling ill. During it I could occasionally lose myself in something and then I would be dragged out by physically disgusting feelings in my gut and just anxiousness about it. But I notice "seed thoughts" for it now. I feel it before anything physical. It's odd. The thought is leaving my head now and I'm tipsy after day drinking. Where was I? "Love you all, talk soon", I think. Seems nice to end this on that.

#this should have veen like 4-5 separate posts but this is how my brain is. get a sense of the dialogue and the flow of topics #especially if weve talked before #should be illuminating #wcs.txt #been* inability to edit tags on the app is so silly #no obligation to read or respond to any of this btw

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zeico · 11 months

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Long post request: how do you feel about BG3?

I didn't realize a new patch came out on final fantasy for about a week because Baldur Gate o Baldur Gate

currently in act 3 and trying to stock up on shit since I recently cleared out the bank. I'm TRYING to hold myself to not starting a new character until I finish this one but I see so many monk items and i want themmmmm (I have a half elf monk open in character creator right now)

Since I played a lotttt of dragon age origins, parts of the structure of bg3 felt very familiar to me like the camp itself and like how u interact with the companions. Like coming home in a way.

I'm also playing 5e a lot so that part of the structure of it was very easy to adapt to. I do still have trouble with like certain interface things like oh man gotta select the version of the spells BEFORE TARGETTING NO GALE WHY ARE YOU RUNNING TO THEM GET BACK HERE WHY ARE YOU HITTING THEM WITH YOUR 8 STRENGTH BACKED STICK

But its great and I do like the changes made to better facilitate it being a VIDEO GAME. Like I'm a Divination Wizard. My main Thing is portent dice. (There's also detect thoughtsing my way through all social encounters which is SO GREAT honestly scratches an itch I've always wanted to do but it would be such a pain in the ass for tabletop. Like first first ever dnd character I cooked up was an illiterate mind reading sorcerer that like got by through just that. But that would be so annoying to do with like.... PEOPLE AT THE TABLE of like 'so im just constantly getting ur surface thoughts...... i can't entirely control this... i'm sorry....' )

ANYWAY portent dice!!!!! in bg3 they have it at level 6 you fulfill little prophecies to get ur dice back to make the big boss miss their BIG attack or make SURE you hit (or my favorite, make the rogue crit on a sneak attack) instead of having it that when u cast a divination spell u get a spell slot back. since theres so few divination spells especially like using IN COMBAT so I understand the change.

I also like the variety of shit you can do. like my partner is one to summon 9 creatures btw the whole party so theres a small army of creatures following their main party. (also several buffed with mage armor and everyone has a higher level aid cast on them so they also have a decent amount of health its really funni to watch) I like wrote off the summon guys moves because I just dont like to have extra guys usually.

Something I wish I did on my first playthrough tho was simply long resting more I think I fucked myself out of a lot of social link scenes in act 1 bc I straight up didn't rest enough. The game is like 'oh no time is ticking' but things aren't REALLY like that (cept for like... 2 instances I can think of) bc its a videogame and thats fine.

It WANTS you to use all your abilities and not be dum like me and just cantrip my way through most the first act 'just in case i need my slots later' why am i like this. both short and lone rest more and just use all your moves its FINE

speaking of social links and companions theyre all great. I love them all. I DO wish some things weren't like... romance locked it feels??? well more like you HAVE to reject them???? idk I had a scene with gale when he's like 'but we're not THAT close tho' and i felt bad bc like... I want to be wizard friends with you. I'm SORRY I'm so weak to both vampires and elves.

heard some shit about astarion having like so much content compared to all the other companions and man imma feel so spoiled on my playthroughs where i dont smooch the vampire. I do wish everyone else had more scenes too its a shame.

something about bg3 thats HILARIOUS to me personally is that its all like 'recruit allies against the cult' and in another irl campaign im in thats been in hiatus for years but I still hope to come back its REALLY similiar. Oh no a huge looming death cult threat to the city. oh no the city has its own fuckmess of bullshit to deal with. OH NO a shapeshifting killer. Anytime theres strong parallels to that campaign it sparks joy.

A few technical problems I've had tho were around switching characters in and out of the party. like in a building and I wanna run back to camp to tag in someone. Wait why are they on the roof????

Or I tag in someone and WHY ARE YOU CLIPPING THROUGH THE FLOOR? Tbh the game is so enjoyable I just sigh and say "Video. Game." out loud and load a save. Like the last time that was REALLY frustrating is when it just would NOT let me out of a restricted area like please I persuaded u 3 times let me go I was on my way OUT.

Also why do all these 8 strength men have abs. This is Wrong. I'm bad with figuring out the technical shit of modding but holy shit I need them to not have abs.

Anyway I had this and the character creator open for like 2 hours now so Imma start that now.

#answers #mtgfan

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misscammiedawn · 2 months

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ok but how am I supposed to flirt with/compliment/be sweet at only one of y'all in your inbox? you have to know that isn't going to happen.

Camden: I'm looking forward to the next time we can just sit and talk and be vulnerable with each other. Also, we should get back to sharing media with each other - especially the media that we both find so formative <3

Cammie: Oh, sweetling? I have such plans for you in 30 short days. I am going to enjoy bespelling you, captivating you, melting you into a somft, obedient puddle

Craig: thank you for sharing the Euros with me, love. I wish they'd ended better. It meant so much that you *wanted* to include me in that, even when you were watching with people in physical space. I can't wait until our next chance to just sit and share hot drinks (and maybe some fruit pastilles) and just *be* together

Dawn: Oh, so many ways to flirt - to be all bratty at you, knowing you know why I brat. Or to be sweet and docile for you, showing how eager I can be to let you in... oh, my love, my Fae, how I adore you.

Wynn: Watching you (and Cammie) play Hollow Knight has been a joy and delight. You continually impress me with your skill and determination, and getting to understand *you* over the last couple of months has been a joy and delight. You are so much more than "these circumstances", and I'm glad you're getting to explore what that means for you, now

u9iey9eugfuifeguiehfioiehionjdbsiligbiloefbuilupbfuiperp

MISSS?!?!?!?!?!?!

I--

*Blushes and whimpering* I am speechless! You have me wordless! I CANNOT WORDS!!!

So--- uh-- I wish everyone were awake and able to just rapid fire a reply for each compliment-- but I can at least compliment you in turn!

The relationship that we have built is the most slow and deliberate courtship of our life with understanding and communication at the center of everything-- our friendship was built over years and years finding one another over and over again as the communities we shared were built and destroyed and there's something so beautiful about the way we rolled in and out of one another's radars for years until the point of which we found each other offline-- I don't think either of us knew how BIG that meeting was when it happened-- you were the first person outside of Oikos to greet me to the IRL community on the very week that we came out as trans and it made us feel so included and part of the new world we found

To think that was only 2 months before COVID lockdowns--- we originally weren't even going to go to that event, we were going to spend "more time in the oven" and debut at the Chicago event later in the year-- I am glad we are in the timeline we are in

I know I've tried to find words for how much you mean to us (up to and including my fictional declarations of affection in Madison/Belladonna) and I'll never stop-- I'll learn your languages and take time to understand why you think and feel as you do and to give space and accommodation and grow with you-- earlier we reblogged a thing about soul mates not being a gift but forged and you and I forge these things so carefully and with such intention-- I never ever ever feel like what we do is work though

You don't cost spoons

I'm not afraid of you

--and given how wounded and scared I was when we began dating-- that means a lot--

I wanna finish the enchanted forest books, I wanna do more trivia, I wanna share more games, I wanna do more shenanigans and teach more classes and travel to more cities and see more shows and build more memories

I love you Daja

I love you so so so much and you are the kindest and most enthusiastic human I've ever seen! The way you just glow with passion and take care of your humans and share your resources and knowledge and heart?

Just-- YOU

YOU!!!!

Also on insistence of the Fae: "Ding!"

#cammie asks #ask meme #daja <3

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szynkaaa · 10 months

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What are your thoughts when you see mutuals of yours using AI in their binds? I'm not defending afb at all, I think what they did and their attitude is vile, but why don't a lot of binders on instagram hold the same attitude towards AI and programs like midjourney? From my understanding, it's the same concept. It's still theft. These programs steal from artists without permission for the AI database. I've even seen someone using AI to edit a piece (avendell's art from grayscale to colored), which is as horrible as editing someone's typeset. I guess I'm just frustrated as an artist when I see such pretty books only to find out AI was used in the endpapers or dustjacket, and then see their friends cheering them on in the comments :/ It is so harmful to the art community, yet I feel like I can't speak up because many binders support it. I'd appreciate your thoughts on this though as a fellow artist

Hi! This is a very interesting ask and something I have been pondering for some time now but never really had the chance to put into words, so I will try me best to do it here :)

Disclaimer: those are my thoughts and observations about AI being used in book binds since I started binding almost 6 months ago. Please keep in mind this is just how * I * personally have decided to deal with my mutual using AI for their binds. I am not telling anyone that they should do or feel the same way as I do, each person has their own way to handle it.

Short answer: Have spoken up about this before, which you can find in a post here and also on my IG story, there is a highlight called “no AI”. This is mostly from when I first started binding. I think my tone there is a bit more aggressive because there were just a lot of penned-up frustrations LOL, but most of the things I said there I still stand by them.

Long answer under cut:

I’m an artist and have been drawing for 13 years now, and mostly hang out in the creative / artist sphere of the fandom sides online. Most artists do not support AI, and it has been incredibly frustrating to see how AI has just made life so much harder, from getting accused of using AI even though no AI is used, to seeing companies hiring artists who have also made a switch to AI and also support it, to Etsy sellers selling AI art on mugs and what not.

I was in the exact same spot as you when I was doing my social media research on how to get started with bookbinding, and spent a lot of time scrolling through other binders instagram accounts to see what they have made. I am in awe of what they can make because like every craft, it takes money and time and practice to get really good at it and I have seen so so so so many pretty books, but then also quite shocked at how most binders view on AI art differs so much from the art community. AI is used for typesets and endpapers and dust jacket, and scrolling through the comment sections, there was no one speaking out against AI art (or some did and got snarky replies or comments were straight deleted). This did discourage me at first from taking up a new hobby and being an active part of the community. I should add here though that no one has to make their hobby public and post everything they make. Personally, for me, I don’t have any IRL friends to talk about bookbinding or, and I’m also an introvert, so meeting and making new friends online to chat about hobbies is the best way for me to go. Also I just like sharing my work, I’ve put so many hours and time into it, why shouldn’t I get to show it off.

In the end, I have decided to make a book-binding account and be part of the fun and honestly, I don’t regret it. Everyone is super welcoming and will help you with any questions you have, I have made many great new friends and exchanged a few binds with people from across the pond.

And yes, some of those friends and mutual binders use AI for their book binds, I’ve had discussions with them about it, where everyone gave their input and thoughts on the topic in a respectful, mature, and civil conversation. Opinions are split on the topic in the binding community, this is what I have observed and gathered from my binding journey so far:

some people don’t know much about AI art or how it works, hence they decide not to touch it.

Some didn’t know how AI worked, dabbled with it, read up on and decided not to use it anymore.

Some have done extensive research on it with arguments from both artists and tech side, and then made a decision based on that

Some see MJ as another tool like Canva to make graphics or whatever for your bind.

Many binders use AI for their binds, because no money is made from it. It is (mostly) personal use, either for themselves or to gift away to friends.

One should always be transparent about whether MJ (midjourney) was used in their binds or not, to give people the choice to decide if they want to interact and support something with something that uses AI or not

Not all artists reply DM requests for permission to use their art for personal binds, or the art style / concept they have in their mind exists, so they resort to MJ as a quick solution

Not everyone has the money to commission artists, and especially for commissioned book binds, the prices for commercial art are not something everyone can afford.

The gist I got from the instagram binders (I don’t want to muddle them with AFB binders), is that they will try to use artist’s art with permission as much as they can, but roadblocks like the ones mentioned above happen and make them resort to MJ

Some artists do no want to be associated with AI at all so when they see that binders have used MJ for their binds before, they will not permit them to use their art

Some artists have spoken out against AI and talked with binders about the AI, but still take commissions / collab / trade with binders that have MJ works on their account

I see more artists permitting binders to use their art for binds than rejecting the request even though some of those binders used MJ in their binds. I do believe that most artists do a quick social media check and see what exactly their work is being used for before answering

Some binders are not fully active on IG anymore because they see so many AI being used

Many binders are still supporting artists in different ways such as subscribing to their patreon, donating to their ko-fi, buy their merch, share their art etc.

If given the chance, many binders would also love to collaborate with artists on a bind together - I’ve had several reach out to me and express their interest in collaborating together which I think is great.

About Avendell’s art being colored via AI: there is one known binder on IG that edits art without artist’s permission and we all do not like them LMFAO. All the binders I have hang out and spoken to respect artist’s boundaries and would not use their art or edit it without their permission.

The points above-mentioned are not me trying to justify and defend the binders that use MJ/AI, it is just me listing up my observations and things I have read and heard from binders that use AI.

I can’t fault artists for charging xxx amount for commissions because they have to make a living and pay bills too, but you also can’t condemn binders for not having the spare funds to commission artists because they also have bills to pay and groceries to buy.

So on the one hand, if I put myself in the binder's shoes, I do understand the appeal of MJ and understand to a certain extent why they use MJ for their personal works, no money is made etc etc etc. On the other hand, it’s AI/MJ and as an artist myself it is frustrating to see AI on my dashboard and until there is a more ethical way to use AI, the law has updated on the usage and the artists whose work were used to train the machines without their consent, I will not support AI.

AI art aside; binding books - especially a whole fanfic from scratch - requires so many other skills and labors put into making a book that also takes a long time and money invested to get better at. There is so much love and creativity put into a bind, and it amazes me what people can come up with that you most likely will never see in any mass production because it is a one-of-a-kind book. There are binders who have spent money purchasing stock image and font license for their personal binds, and will make sure they are respecting fanfic authors wishes and boundaries. For that, they have my admiration and respect and support and I am very happy to be still part of the community. I don’t think I need to get into how disrespectful the AFB Admin’s tone is in the overall post on top of them seemingly flipping off every one that is trying to have a civil conversation on the topic of sharing typesets without permission, editing art and straight up hold a best-copy-contest in a “”Private”” group that accepts pretty much any application and has over 6k members.

I don’t support AI, but I am very grateful that I have been welcomed very openly into a new community even though I have expressed freely in my public instagram account and on discord servers my disdain for AI. If I see my friends and mutual doing a bind where MJ is used, I simply don’t interact with the post, will not comment and share it in my stories, and move on. I personally don’t have the energy to comment and educate binders in comment sections for using MJ. I am friends with binders that use MJ, despite our different views on it, I have also blocked binders on insta because I do not agree with some of the things they said about AI and artists. And if binders do not want to interact with me because I don’t wanna support binds with AI - or artists do not want to talk to me anymore because I am friends and mutuals with MJ users, that’s fine too. I don't wanna get too caught up in the us (artist) against AI war, I wanna enjoy my new hobby and make pretty books.

I have been trying to incorporate more art that I draw myself into my binds and sharing WIPs and timelapses of the process, and I do hope that in some way this may help other binders also want to give digital art a go.

At the end of the day, it’s up to each individual both binders and artists how they wanna deal with MJ being used on binds and how they are gonna interact with it. I’ve decided for myself that I do not want to let my view completely stop me from enjoying what has been a wonderful community experience so far.

#ask box #egg fried penguin #book binding #bookbinding

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elegantmadness · 1 year

Text

Final Fantasy XVI RP

I just finished the game a couple of days ago and I'm obsessed. I need to write in this universe!

So, without further ado... have some info!

18+ writer with years of experience looking for another 18+ writer.

i don't shy away from dark or nsfw topics; not necessarily looking for nsfw/smut heavy threads by any means, but i can tell you right now i probably won't mesh well with someone who has to fade to black :c sorry.

i'll write over email, in gdocs, or via a discord server. i can't say i have much of a preference for any over the others; i'm also down for ooc over discord and the actual writing thread elsewhere. please note i DO NOT write here on tumblr.

given how recently the game came out and i finished it, i've not written for this fandom before. i certainly don't mind taking any constructive criticism if you think i've misrepresented/misconstrued a canon character.

i'm comfortable with canon/canon pairs and canon/oc ones of any genders/dynamics/orientations (m//, m/f, f//, trans + nb inclusive). if we can agree on a canon/canon pair, then i'm happy to leave it at that. if you'd like to go the canon/oc route, though, i do require us to double; like most everyone who's ever dabbled in fandom rp i won't be stuck writing the canon for the original without a little reciprocity.

i like long posts. how long is long, you ask? i like to stay at least around 3 paragraphs, though i can -- and do -- write more than that. all in all, i'm a mirror poster who enjoys fleshing out details and delving into characters' thoughts/feelings/motivations. my sweet spot is 4-6 paragraphs, but i'm more than willing to write novella/generally longer posts if you're game!

i don't do rapid-fire or one-liners or short, measly little single paragraphs. they make me sad and tend to indicate my partner's lack of interest or effort. that said, if your motivation is running dry and you need/want to stop, that's completely fine! honestly, if you ghost i won't chase after you, though i'll admit to a slight preference that you give me a chance to try and fix things up?

at the very least one post a week; i'd prefer around 3 a week, personally, but ofc irl stuff happens.

everything has to be in third person; absolutely no first or second. i default to past tense, but i'm perfectly fine with present if that's your preference!

beware spoilers below if you haven't finished the game!

you'll find the pairings i'm most interested in writing/am actively looking for as well as general ideas for plot/plot points below the cut!

so! i'm honestly not super sure about pairs, but i'm more than happy to talk them through with you? off the top of my head, i know i'd be interested in things like:

dion/joshua (it doesn't have to be in the terms of dion's perceived debt to joshua, but there's just such a nice familiarity there, especially after twinside and dion's drowning in guilt; maybe even bringing in memories of them meeting when they were younger)

hugo/benedikta (my favorite amoral duo who both just need to fuck off from dhalmekia and waloed and do whatever tf they want; also, hugo turning benedikta away from barnabas? his actual affection for her takes her by surprise; this dude doesn't actually just want to exploit and use her for his own ends? say whatttttt?)

dion/barnabas (i'm a terrible person; it's fine! :c but the whole dark v light theme? waloed v sanbreque? barnabas' whole crusade to kidnap bearers/dominants?)

benedikta/jill (mayhaps cid comes too late to save jill and benedikta absconds with her from the battlefield? i think they'd be able to relate to one another relatively well tbh, and plus i'd love to see jill a little more assertive/proactive)

cid/benedikta (purely platonic; i'd love to explore that dynamic, flesh out their background more; tbh, it'd probably be set in the background of an actual pair)

cid/barnabas (i’d loooooove the opportunity to explore their dynamic before cid up and left waloed; maybe cid even confided in barnabas at one point until barnabas’ loyalty to ultima comes out and cid feels betrayed? add benedikta into the mix and ooof. lots of drama potential, i think.)

clive/barnabas (especially in the context of clive having just lost to barnabas in a fight? won't master ultima be so pleased with you, mr warden of darkness? but then... wait. why won't you hand over mythos? clive somehow turning barnabas around? you love to see it)

clive/ultima (dark af and i'm not even sorry. but ultima...making it into clive's mind in a botched attempt to possess him? doesn't even need to be romantic or sexual, but just... a fucked up dynamic. ultima hitching a ride in the back of clive's consciousness? more than he already does?)

clive/joshua (shhhhhh. clive literally saying they've become one is just so darn platonic i can't even com pre hennnnnnd. i'd argue clive shows more emotion over joshua than anyone else in the game, and i'd be remiss in not exploring that further)

please note i have zero interest in writing clive/jill :c they're more of a brotp for me. sorry! i'd at least be willing to hear out other canon/canon pairs, but please don't be offended if i don't want to write them :c

i'd also be incredibly down for some canon/oc shenanigans, and ofc i'd happily double! gonna be super basic and ask for my partner to write clive for me tho; could absolutely be down for poly (cough with cid cough) but that's not necessary at all. also, ngl, i'd love to write a leviathan oc (for whom i already have a great deal of ideas...) i know, i know, the medicine girl is who everyone kinda suspects to be leviathan but, shhhhhhh ;o au for a reason, yeah? it's not confirmed anyway.

miscellaneous ideas

dominants v ultima (as it should have been imo; dominants protecting humanity, working together to try and save it instead of clive having to do it all basically alone)

more fallen lore? ngl, i was hit with such similarities from this game and ff12 i was half-convinced it was like, a thousand+ years post-ff12. i know it's not, but it could be interesting to bring in ff12 wrinkles into the fold? all the crysts and crystals and incorporeal beings directing humanity in the directions they want? plus AIRSHIPS. aetherfloods = jagd/myst? we don't have to go in the ff12 direction for more fallen lore, tho.

time-au a la: dominants returning to the time of the fallen/helping in the fight against ultima at dzemekys

some sort of magic that allows the dominants to retain information from previous hosts? warnings about ultima/crystals/the blight/etc?

people have compared ultima and jenova and... lbr. it would be incredibly interesting to see. ultima wants a host? too bad. jenova's cells have infected it; he can't direct it anymore. too bad every time he keeps trying jenova's still there.

these aren't all the plots i'd be interested in writing by any means, but, well. i think i've rambled on long enough. i hope i've managed to pique some interest, and if i have, feel free to reach out!

#final fantasy xvi #final fantasy 16 #ff16 #ffxvi #ffxvi spoilers #final fantasy xvi rp #final fantasy xvi roleplay #final fantasy 16 rp #final fantasy 16 roleplay #canon/canon #canon/oc

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