#but also in awe of how much love Solas had for her

[liaragaming]

I think Mythal gets a lot of undeserved hate directed her way solely by being Solas's former love. And I also think Crossroads Mythal has had thousands of years to do nothing but stew in her own anger and misery - thus coloring who she was before.

But the one thing I cannot get over is how upset she is at Solas for "betraying" her.

Like...

He built a refuge for her in the rebellion! He always thought she would join him - despite her never saying the words!

He tells Elgar'nan the only reason Mythal joined the Evanuris as gods was to keep him and everyone else in check!

Solas never rebelled against her! He rebelled against the Evanuris' claim to godhood. And it was a claim that he always thought she would drop.

I get so mad at her for being so mad at him! But she did join them, and Solas never saw that. He always held this picture of what she was to him before he took a body. He loved her so much, and maybe she loved him the same once, but that love became so misguided, and they both clung to it?

They give me some deep Emmrich / Johanna vibes in that way - on such opposite ends there's no way for them to work out but also inevitably tied together.

Solas is so in it to the point of not being able to see what she had become. Real enough in his love for her so as to keep the essence of her alive when it would have died anywhere else.

I just get so tangled up in what they must have meant to each other at one point (pre-physical bodies, a time we don't get to see), and how Mythal moves on and Solas clings to her, and how much he loved her, how much hope he had, and how upset she was with him, and what a painful complicated mess this all was.

He traps the Evanuris behind the Veil because he's so grieved and pissed.

And then he wakes up to find a piece of Mythal walking around in Flemeth's body, and I can't help but imagine what a shock that was. To find a Mythal that had lived and learned and changed over thousands of years that he didn't experience. He won't even speak to her essence in the Crossroads.

When Bellara asks how he could have killed Mythal, Solas insists Flemeth wasn't her. But we know he feels guilt over killing Mythal. We know he weeps over her body. Like, he loved her, but I think at this point, he's also angry with her as well? Maybe on a level that he doesn't recognize.

I just can't help imagining Lavellan running into her in the Crossroads and giving her a piece of her mind.