#this game feels like it punishes me for caring about the world they created

[lizzybeeee]

THE ENTIRE DRAGON AGE AMA IS A DUMPSTER FIRE

They avoided all the high-rated questions with genuine criticism (not blind hate!) and went for questions that were safer and allowed them more leeway. After that awful IGN article and that treatment of Davrin...God, just put it down. I have no faith that BioWare will be able to continue Dragon Age or Mass Effect with the respect it deserves.

Edit - They had an opportunity for genuine discussion with fans who were concerned/unhappy with the way Veilguard was -> people unhappy with the story, the marketing, the lack of 'RP' options in an RPG, etc... Instead they just doubled-down even more, avoiding those critical questions, with no real acknowledgement that fans have very reasonable problems with this game.

Some Highlights & My Initial Ramblings Below:

The Executors

"They attempt to manipulate events in the most subtle way they can manage."

So, very clear that they're not simply observers of what is happening in Thedas: they're manipulators...

"Magical Illuminati Confirmed! Lizard People Did 9:30 Dragon!!!!"

All that complexity of character -> his hatred of Orlais, his experience as a general, his relationship with Cailain, and the influence of Howe...all diminished. Any influence from a shadow cabal is too much influence - all the humanity of Loghain's choices/consequences...God, what a waste.

Not to mention what this does to other events/characters in the series -> they imply they've been intervening as far back as the magisters breaking into the golden city. I do not find this compelling! At all!

2. Solas and the Executors

Oh my god, he sounds like such a fucking Mary-Sue I'm so sick of Solas at this point -> "Actually, I know more about the Executors than anyone alive - not even the rest of the Gods know as much as me."

("I'm also, like, an Ancient Elven God, I'm responsible for the Blight and the Veil, and I kind of locked the Gods away cause they were evil - but, like, I'm really sad about it. Also the Herald of Andraste thinks I'm cute <3")

<- Previous comments: massive oversimplification, obviously

But I miss the days when not everything was about Solas. It removes so much interest and wonder in this world when the fucking egg is behind it all. I loved him as a character in DAI and now I just feel this bone deep tiredness when I see his stupid face.

Don't you dare threaten to bring Gareth David-Lloyd back -> keep him away from this mess!

3. The Fate of the Rest of the Evanuris

Yay. I'm so looking forwards to "The Return of the Elves: Electric Boogaloo 2" - it was done so well the first time!

"It was the elves all along!"

The only character with any potential to be interesting is Andruil*, but how they handled all this lore was done so shallowly and so poorly that I find it hard to give a damn anymore. Not to mention that the game literally mentions Ghilan'nain mourning Andruil - so is this a retcon/redirection/or have you confirmed that one of the most interesting members of the Evanuris' is dead?

*interesting in that she's established in lore to potentially have a tonne of really cool things attached to her (the void armour, the great weapon she has etc...). The rest of the evanuris are nowhere near as well established as she is.

4. Southern Thedas, Sociopolitical Issues, and Future Games

NOW YOU WANT TO INCORPORATE GEO-POLITCAL EXPLORATION?? You avoided any meaningful discussion like the plague in DATV but now you're acknowledging it?? OkaY. okAy.

They couldn't even give us the long-term ramifications of the mage/templar war how the hell am I supposed to believe that they will be able to pull off 'elven gods are real' etc...? For a game series that totes : your choices matter -> they have not proven that they have been able to show that in a meaningful way. They literally cleaned the slate with this game to avoid doing that.

So, what, does that mean that the Veil is never going to come down now? Or are you going to have the entirety of Thedas build themselves up again just to have the Veil fall and send things into chaos once more?

What a fatalistic, miserable outcome for Thedas -> why the fuck would anyone bother to live in Thedas if you're going to keep throwing meteorites at them? By all means, change/conflict has to happen for the series to move forwards...but this is just so miserable at this point.

(The Elder Scrolls, at least, gives people room to breathe between crisis' or sets them up in different areas of the world! Bethesda treats past installments/your decisions with greater respect than DATV does.)

Even, then, if the Veil remains up, that means that the spirits are just trapped in the Fade being miserable for the rest of existence. The entire series has been humanizing spirits, from Justice to Cole, and now they're just throwing in the towel? I guess they can stay in the fade now! Problem solved!

What do you mean the Evanuris are not a threat anymore? IN A PREVIOUS QUESTION YOU LITERALLY SAID SOME ARE STILL POTENTIALLY KICKING AROUND THE BLACK CITY?

Weakened, sure, but Solas was 'weak' in DAI. You're giving yourself an out if you decide to go back to the elves again. Please do, I'd love more content on how the elves alone fuck everything up!

5. More Southern Thedas, the Chantry, and Tevinter

Thanks for the confirmation that things in the South are so fucked up that they have to work alongside the 'Slave Capital' of the known world to rebuild!

Slavery was one of the biggest things that caused a rift between the north/south chantry system -> one of the reasons why there were exalted marches -> a uniting belief in the south is that slavery is fucked. They didn't address slavery in DATV - what hopes are there that they will do so effectively in a future game?

Don't tell me that Dorian fixes everything off screen either -> either he solves slavery off-screen or the south is being forced to work the slaver-capitol because their land is nuked and they have no ground to stand on.

I'm so thrilled.

6. Solas and the Idol / The Blight

I will never get over Solas fucking curing the Blight off-screen and no one asking questions/giving a shit. Hello?? The Hero of Ferelden would like a word with you???

So the Blight is calcified in Minrathous, at least, but everywhere further away is still fucked! Once more, the South is doomed to suffer from the long-term effects that regular blights have -> not to mention the red lyrium (which still exists according to the AMA) across the south.

I don't care; it's lame. It's a lame way to conclude the blight and I hate it. This game did not earn 'cure the blight from thedas' at all. You could have had us learn how to soothe a titan and see how that can diminish the blight but you did it this way.

Another 'magical ritual' because Solas has such a good track record with them lmao.

7. The Agents of Fen'Harel / The War with the Qun / The Crows

Turned him against the idea of being a leader???!!

Fen'harel's Call to the Elven People After the events at the Winter Palace, elves left the Inquisition under mysterious circumstances, as did elven servants across Thedas. None could say where they went, but those who believed the Inquisitor's story about Fen'Harel wondered just how large the Dread Wolf's forces were... and what the ancient elven rebel had planned. This is from the Trespasser Epilogue, Epler!

Your concept art for Joplin literally had him as a leader of a faction of elves. Just be honest that it's a retcon and you changed course - don't try to save face with this reasoning.

About the Antaam: "We needed some big mindless bad guys to fight and so we did this because we didn't want to address the Qunari War/Invasion we set up in Trespasser".

You had to canonize Sten as being alive and Arishok in order for this reasoning to work -> you didn't even come up with an alternative Arishok to take Sten's place.

Yeah, the exchange that set up the Crows we see in the game as "idealists" did not make the game. I can confirm that!

I'm sorry, "Caterina kept Illario in check?" as in, 'kept him an idealist and not the usual Crow'? The woman that beat him with a cane and starved him and his cousin to train them as Crows. Fuck off.

lmao -> tell me you're coming up with this on the spot without telling me that you're coming up with this on the spot.

8. World State Discrepancies - Isabela

Outright ignores the very real criticism about the marketing from this game and World States.

"there are absolutely places where we unintentionally suggested there was a hard canon (...that Isabela is always assumed to have joined Hawke's party.)"

Unintentional?

Excuse me, you have her talk about Merrill and the Kirkwall Crew as family - that was not unintentional in the slightest. Not to mention Sten, Blackwall, Sera, and Cole are canonized as being part of your world state no matter what.

You had a story you wanted to tell - one that only fit a few world states - and you went ahead with it and disregarded those choices. Don't try and lie about this all being a big misunderstanding.

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Edit - They could have taken the opportunity to address the very reasonable criticisms that people had with this game but they cherry-picked questions and avoided/minimized anything remotely critical.

They could have provided us some insight into the game development time but each time they approached the topic they settled for "we're happy with what we delivered and it was well optimized."

They had an opportunity to acknowledge that people were bothered by the handling of the lore/stories (to potentially mention they could course-correct/ rethink their plans) but instead they doubled down on everything that they did and even 'justified' some decisions. They doubled down on the Executors, Solas's changing motivations, the destruction of Southern Thedas, and the elves/Solas being at the heart of everything etc...

This AMA basically confirmed that the only reason they did what they did to the south was for a reset -> It's not a compelling or fulfilling narrative to have everything we've done reset back to ground zero off-screen. BioWare games differentiate themselves from other RPG's by their import system from previous games - it was compelling and exciting! With DATV they set the expectation that BioWare can outright throw out entire games worth of choices/build up, not solely retcon them.

Justifying your choice to water down the lore/world of your story by saying you'll address it in the 'next game' does not instill me with confidence, BioWare! It doesn't explain that lack of it in this game either!

They avoided every question that, rightfully so, pointed out the misleading comments made by devs in the pre-order period of the game:

the fact that there were only 3 imported choices from previous games was leaked by a reviewer -> BioWare was vague from the start about choices

that this game was the most 'romantic' in the series

that world states/ headcanons wouldn't be disrespected

that there are 'lore' reasons for bad darkspawn design

that there are lasting, impactful choices/consequences to be made in this game

that the lore/world was not watered or toned down

that companions are deep and you can disagree with them etc...

BioWare's behavior towards their customers in the lead up period to this games release was downright scummy. I absolutely felt misled after playing the game for myself and recalling what I read in interviews put out. While EA is undoubtedly poison, you can't hold them solely accountable for this.

I feel for the individual developers who worked on this in what was undoubtedly a toxic environment from EA - but I feel that it's pretty clear that BioWare itself has a lot of problems within and in their leadership/executives. Working for EA does not give them an excuse to mislead their customers.

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I already had a very grim outlook on the franchise from the end of DATV but this literally look my interest out the back and sent it to God. What a disaster.

[neteyamsilly]

i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 2

summary ;; Your burning determination to prove your father wrong and Jake's wish to teach you a lesson both end up in a pyrrhic victory. PART 1 | PART 3 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; im speechlessly overwhelmed at the sheer amount of love you guys showed me these past couple of days. like. literally never had something like this happen to me before. i got too excited to finish this chapter to give back to yall, there was an attempt to proofread but... i hope it's not too bad, please enjoy! as always, if you see any mistakes, im sorry!

The path further into the floating mountains was all the worse to navigate thanks to the lack of light, the only useful guides you had were the faintly flickering bioluminescent lights from the forest deep below. The branches twisting around each other to create a naturally built bridge from mountain to mountain benefited from this, contrasting as a clear obscured line to your eyes against the glow underneath. 

The easiest part of your journey, in hindsight, was just skipping along this line. 

You weren’t exactly happy about this.  

The more you left behind, the more you were freaked out that Neteyam or anyone else was onto your intentions already and hot on your trail right this moment. Imagining father making a beeline to you in the air with Bob, a cruel, merciless whistling arrow, made you all jittery and almost puking kind of nervous, pulling at the depths of your stomach. 

Your rationality told you that it was a half an hour walk to your spot from the tent, and Neteyam would be hurrying the more he thought he wasn’t able to catch up with you along the way, so you had around twenty minutes until the whole family was panicking and raising the clan to look for you. 

Tuk had gone missing once thanks to some hide and seek game with Lo’ak (she’d hidden so well and was waiting for her siblings to find her already, blindly sticking to the game for an entire day, not out of stubbornness but childish purity), and this was exactly what had gone down —

the resentful part of you questioned if father thinks of you highly enough to resort to that. 

If something happened to you, he would maybe urge your brothers to search for you for a while, and drop it then — leaving you to your own devices happily. 

Maybe. 

Were you even worth it in his eyes for a search party? You wondered if he cared enough that you disappeared. 

But that was a stupid, childish thought you knew you fantasized about a lot — perhaps this was why he’d called you immature. This was no mindset for a strong, independent, confident hunter. The thought father was right, even a miniscule bit was bitter on your tongue, worse than what he called black coffee. 

Disappearing so you’d find out just how much he cared was unfair to mom, for one. 

She had lost so much in such a short amount of time, the stories she sang poignantly about were hard to listen to without tearing up. Her home. The trees of voices, all the lost ancestors. Her father. Uncle Tsu’tey. Her first ikran, Seze. Loss upon loss you think there’d be nothing left to give anymore, but sky people’s fire was always hungry, always willing to waste more to grow bigger. 

You wouldn’t forgive yourself for making her cry in your pursuit to punish father. Never. 

You weren’t a child.

Just wanted to be one, sometimes.

Wanted father to babytalk you, pet your head longer than a passing touch as he walked away hurriedly to attend to other matters, make beads for your braids the way he always did from pretty stones he found on ponds, carve you little trinkets when you graciously had to give up your toys to Lo’ak and Kiri’s greed. 

Your neck piece was all them in fact, he’d see it if he ever paid enough attention, or perhaps it was all insignificant to him, five kids meant countless belongings for each individual child had been passed down from his hands, it would be a miracle for father to recognize you still wore his clumsy creations. But again, it had been too long since he’d even looked at you affectionately, he wouldn’t See. 

He’d transferred those habits entirely to Neteyam at one point in time. 

Your older brother would always ruffle Lo’ak’s hair and tease him the way father used to, comfort him in his own playful way, and even though the younger looked discontent at being babied, you knew he was happy Neteyam was quite literally his shadow to look after him through tough times — including shielding from father’s line of fire. In return, he was suffering from being a foil to the older son, you understood the struggle because you were going through the same comparison, you just weren’t obsessed with catching and living up to father as much as Lo’ak did. 

Win some, lose some, I guess.

Plus, Neteyam was trembling under the massive planet-weight pressure, he had to set the standard, he had to live up to the older brother title. He was becoming more of a father figure to Tuk as days passed and the Olo’eyktan became more transparent from his family’s life as a dad to five. 

Besides, Lo’ak made trouble enough for two people to go around that you felt bad for your big brother, Kiri was thankfully more mellow (despite frequently hanging out together with him and Spider) compared to him that Neteyam could breathe, not having to divide his attention. 

You were in awe of her about how disconnected she was from all the changing dynamics. She had her own problems you could never understand, more spiritual than your grandmother, and ever the ethereal soul who you thought would disappear into Eywa if flesh wasn’t holding her down to Eywa’eveng.

You were the teeniest, tiniest bit jealous of her (and Tuk) holding the softer sides of father, the boys thought he was deliberately softer because they were girls — but you were also a girl, so why weren’t you allowed in?   

Well, thanks to that, you’d gotten closer with Neteyam and known him better after the whole clan had settled on High Camp, so it wasn’t all that bad. You could badmouth father all day long sitting on some rock and make him laugh abashedly, guilty that he was smiling along with the trashing of the father’s name he respected so much — it was therapy, as Norm had taught humans frequently sought back on earth. It got you trying some things with Neteyam, becoming more of a companion and ranting buddy for him who he could be honest and open with, so that he didn’t have to worry about taking up a larger role in your life to fill father’s missing presence. You were concerned about him more than he could be concerned about you. 

That got you contemplating if father had noticed how comfortable his two oldest children were with each other that it was always Neteyam who he sent after you. A girl could dream, no? For one moment, it wasn’t because it was Neteyam’s responsibility, but because father was paying attention to how his kids got along.

The image of him pushed you to be frantically fast to reach your destination as the fear returned with might. If he caught you right now when you had no ikran to prove him wrong, the punishment he was sure to give would be way more humiliating, you at least wanted something in your name to taunt him with if you were going down anyways. 

A smile crept up your face at imagining him discombobulated and speechless, unable to pick out one thing that you did wrong. 

The carelessness that came with your speed combined with how dark it was to see where to clutch and put your feet on caused you to slip up countless times when climbing, the sharp rocks scraping the insides of your palms and insides of your forearms, lifting your skin up. What you cared about more than the pain was that the blood was now tracking material for your family to sniff you out — you couldn’t exactly wipe the rocks clean, so you carried on with a hammering heart, more afraid of father ruining your perfect moment than whatever ikran that would soon be going straight for your throat. 

At least you were able to wash the blood off your hands in the waterfall. 

Downside? You couldn’t see shit. With your bare back flushed straight to the wall of rock and your feet feeling out the thin edge, the shrill cry of ikrans and the roaring of water was about to overwhelm your senses too much to pay attention — 

and you slipped. 

The shriek that ripped out of you at the sensation of falling and the drop of your stomach alone almost made you pass out, and for a split second it was a good thing that you wouldn’t feel the moment you died, but your body, once again, was one step ahead of you, it twisted in the air the last second and your hands gripped the ledge. 

The wet rock and your blood made all that your life was hanging on slippery as you dangled into the abyss, swaying with the strong winds at this height. 

You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the nervousness, but something made you laugh out loud, and the bubbling laughter continued until you were able to pull yourself up safely at the ikran rookery, finally. 

Looking around like a fish out of water, how you hadn’t cracked your skull open shooting down to the forest below was a total miracle. 

You’d made it?  

No one was there to witness what you just pulled off in total darkness. Your whole body was shaking, and you weren’t even chosen by an ikran yet. This was happening. Shit. This was totally happening! 

Your excited and terrified, “Hell yeah!” went unheard apart from your aerial crowd. 

But. 

One among them answered your holler with its own that cut into the night like a battle horn. It was the closest one to you that was apparently watching you the whole time, starting to roar at you and twitching on its feet, shadow in the night informing you of its movements.

You’d seen from Neteyam and Lo’ak’s iknimayas that you only had a few seconds to pull your shit together until it attacked, this was meant to be dangerous, serious, you could end up as a late night snack to them if things went wrong, but you couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear that it had chosen you.

You were chosen. 

It wanted you as its rider. 

If only father could see you now. The sensation of being the one — being special was unmatched. Now you could somehow get the fraction of the high he must have felt as Toruk Makto.  

The, “Let’s fucking go!” that left you kept echoing into the night as you lunged at it, dodging to the left when it snapped at your head, hooking one arm around the ikran’s slender neck and clamping your legs around it the moment it started thrashing around wildly. 

You didn’t know why father had made a big deal out of it. You formed tsaheylu in no time, breaking Neteyam’s record — and you didn’t even have the rope to hoop around its neck and jaw. 

Firstborn daughter excellence. 

Confidence restored and triumphing wildly to the pulse of your heart, the flickering smile on your face in wonder turned into a full-fledged smirk. At that moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and your victory. Proving father wrong. 

Feeling the ikran’s lifeforce through the bond, a shiver went down your back as his beady eye looked up at you, pupil shrinking and expanding rapidly while you both took a minute to catch your breaths after the fierce wrestling. 

“Gotcha,” you panted. “You’re mine now.”

The adrenaline made everything sparkle and shine, your spirits soaring high and unbothered about literally anything else in the world, and for one glorious moment, lost in the memories of your brothers’ iknimayas boasting with cheers from the clan and sometimes encouraging, sometimes fearful screams of your parents, your spirit sought them out to be soaked in the same pride — forgetting that it was night and nobody was there to celebrate you. 

You were all alone. 

The smile dropped from your face and crashed down like paper thin porcelain upon the slightest movement. 

Right. 

You’d forgotten you were doing this out of spite. It snuffed every twinkle of magic away from the previously shimmering milestone of your life. 

Your ikran felt the crushing disappointment through your connection and chirped at you, almost like an excited sibling pulling on your arm to show you something, weirdly comforting. Mom’s ikran was a spitfire, but also nurturing — this one felt different somehow, you felt him bouncing from wall to wall in your head, hyperactive and cheerful.

Flying! He wanted to fly! 

The first flight sealed the bond, after all. 

You weren’t alone even if none of your family members were here to share the joy — you had your new buddy. And the drop of gravity was thrilling this time, not the terrifying chaos that had your asshole shriveling up as it was when you’d missed your step. 

The flights with mom were something you looked forward to, drying up in frequency as you aged, you’d missed the wind on your body and the greenery dancing below as you maneuvered in the air — but mom reserved nighttime rides for father only, and after the move to High Camp, the skimpering chance you could get your way if you begged cutely enough was gone too. You’d never flown at night. 

The sight was out of this world. The stars leaving a glowing trail above you, the forest pulsing with faint purple, green and blue lights underneath, everything was elevated in beauty because darkness let them shine. 

You made loops in the air with your ikran, got as high in the air as you could before your breath thinned, and scraped at the tips of trees before shooting up again, all the while laughter you’ve never screamed before bubbled out of you. 

And you were all alone. There was no mom to gleefully taunt your ikran with hers to get both of you dancing in the air. There was no father to watch on with a small smile he was fighting. There was no Neteyam to stop you from dipping too close to the ground, and no Lo’ak to challenge you to get closer to race with him — no Kiri to complain how all of you were being so childish, how stupid this was all the while she was the worst of you all, instigating all the chaos. 

No Tuk in your mom’s lap whining about you guys leaving her off the fun. 

Instead, there was the scent of a bogey in the air, snapping you out of the haze of sorrow.

When had you ventured out further into unprotected territory? 

Linked with your thought process, the ikran stopped advancing forward and started beating his wings downward to stay unmoving, you observed the surroundings to get a better feeling of where you were, and noticed this was around the old shack, artificial lights were gliding between the leaves and branches that obscured your view of just who was roaming the grounds at night, definitely not a natural part of the forest’s flora.    

Father’s voice materialized in your head, drilled into you and your siblings’ heads over and over again. If you come across any threat at all, do not engage, fall back and inform me. Got it? You call for me first.

And that split second of being afraid was your death sentence — that father would be so angry at you for your ignorance, amateurism, carelessness and idiocy that he could throw you out of the family for almost leading the demons to base simply by being there that they could figure out what direction you’d come from. That moment of weakness was enough for someone to snipe you out, and get you falling down from your ikran straight into the forest below, the cries of your new friend falling silent on your ears as you did your best to hug giant leaves to cushion your fall to the best of your ability. . 

 Barely any time was left for you to shake the disorienting motion sickness off, you couldn’t even attempt to run into the accepting, protective hands of the forest before whoever just shot at you was onto you, harshly gripping your arms and raising you up. 

Father’s gonna be so mad if he finds out. Shit, I gotta get out of this. 

But… Avatars? In full camo, armored, even. You hadn’t heard of this from anybody in camp!

“Damn! Didn’t actually think you’d be able to land the shot from all of that tree, man! Up-top!”

Two of them high-fived, you were actually going to be sick. 

Thumb between his belt and stomach, another Avatar strutted towards you. The saunter and confidence meant that he was their leader. “Now, now… What do we have here?”

“A native.” You were being pushed down on your knees, one hand being grabbed and shown like a trophy. Just how many were there? You couldn't calm yourself enough to focus! “Four fingers.”

The speaker this time was a woman. “How unusual. Those monkeys don’t leave their coven at night.” 

“Where were you flying, little bird?” The leader, a sleazy smirk on his face, leaned down to take a good look at you. “Leading away from the nest, perhaps?”

“She don’t understand, Colonel, don’t bother. Ya think Sully could ever manage teaching one word of English to those?”

“Watch how she learns in three seconds.” He yanked on your queue so hard you saw white light in this hour of darkness — and when your vision came back, a screen with your father’s face was being shoved to your face. “Jake Sully. Toruc Mactoe. Where is he?”

You screamed when he pulled with increasing strength, keeping up with the act you didn’t understand. And the state of pain and terror massively helped, contributing to you looking frantic and lost, only knowing that you were being zapped to your core. 

“Seems like I don’t need to ask you.” His fingers snapped your head back to get a good look at your earpiece, late to notice you had it on at all because of the dark. “Can directly ask the man himself.” 

All you could form to think was, ‘Father’s gonna kill me for this. He’s actually gonna kill me this time.’

You weren't terrified of what the Avatars would do to you. You were afraid of him.

One empty shell from the reloaded machine gun flew away, tinkling hollow when it fell down, and rolled until it stopped in a small pool of water that had formed on the jagged ground of the cave systems. In the scarlet and orange glow of the campfire he’d haphazardly put together right outside of their home out of impatience after Neytiri had basically thrown him out, Jake almost mistook the liquid for blood. 

An ominous cloud of dread settled on his shoulders, a paranoia every father tended to go through.

“Big Brother, this is Devil Dog. State your status, over.”

Neteyam didn’t miss a beat to answer, thankfully. “Devil Dog, this is Big Brother. I’m still en route to Foxcove, over.”

“How much longer?”

“Ten minutes at best, sir. Over.”

What he wanted to say was how come he hadn’t met you halfway, but it was empty talk. No need to stress the boy out. “Devil Dog signing out.”

This girl was half the reason for the wrinkles on his forehead, Jesus Christ. He was basically waiting you out like a father sitting in the dark to ambush his daughter who had snuck out at night, for that single glorious moment of yeah that’s right, you got caught, after the light would come on to ruin that moment of relief of successfully making it back in. 

His mate had scolded him to be nice and understanding, a Marine was anything but, the closest he could compromise was not being as mean to you than he had to be. Sassing, “So how was your Iknimaya?” like he planned was out the window — Neytiri was spot-on to say the girl would simply give the same mean energy right back at him, and that could only mean another erupting volcano of a fight and a good night’s sleep ruined for him, overthinking where he went wrong and how else he could have salvaged the situation. 

He’d just make you tend to the ikrans for a week for some patience practice, cleaning shit for hours on a daily basis would certainly throw the temporary whim of the rite of passage hyperfixation out of your system. The possibility of you shouting you hated him was unavoidable, but Jake had to get his point across, no matter how terribly it nauseated him to hear something like that from his child. 

It was strange to remember he couldn’t care less for what people thought of him in the past. Some shithead he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about hated Jake’s guts? Good. He was living in their head rent free, it was fun even — Neytiri too, Jake absolutely enjoyed her hating game at first. 

Being legitimately resented by his very own child, though, was a heartbreak he didn’t expect to hurt him the way it did, knocking air off his lungs the first time he heard it. A burning stab right in his heart that wouldn’t go away until he had to hear it for himself you hadn’t meant any of what you said.

Because that said hate actually stemmed from hurt Jake must have inflicted. Because you could actually despise him, and never allow him to reconnect with you again if he could ever manage to garner the courage to reach out to you — a mightier challenge than hunting Toruk in the sense it actually scared him.   

His teenage daughter. Scared him. 

Jake didn’t know what to do about it, he couldn’t even show what exactly this made him feel, too ashamed and proud for it in the first place. 

The growing distance between you and him was an uneasy, frightened bird he tried to shush and calm in his heart in favor of other pressing matters that drilled small holes in the depths of his stomach, and over time, those little holes had fused together to create one big pit with greater gravitational pull than the sun — until Jake didn’t know how to stitch them back together anymore. 

He told himself he would talk to you later, for sure. The morning after every argument, every fight, every jab from you he snapped at he would try to make amends for, definitely. 

And then he didn’t. 

“What is this, are you palulukan ambushing prey? I told you to make up with her, not prepare for hunting.”

Jake shook his head, dropping the machine gun back inside the crate. The warmed metal was some sort of consolation to his nerves. Marine habit. Always felt safer with a gun near. (Or was it the American in him?) “Neytiri,” he acknowledged, bobbing his head. “I’m just passing time.”

“What do you think will happen when she comes back and sees you waiting for her like this?”

Ah, like the old times when Jake couldn’t do one thing right in her eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he said playfully, but with no mirth behind it, closing the crate with a muffled thunk. With nothing to do with them, one elbow went to his knee and the other hand’s fingers started a rhythm on the lid he’d just shut. 

His mate’s hand gingerly came down on his shoulder, kneading the nerves. “Just talk to her, Ma’Jake.”

“I don’t know how to,” he admitted, he covered her fingers on her shoulder with his, and she immediately held his hand back. “Don’t know what to even tell her.” He gave an exhale from the deeper, tired parts of his soul, gazing at the path leading away from their tent. “With Neteyam and Lo’ak, it’s easy. I tell ‘em what to do and they—”

Neytiri took a seat next to him, gathering their hands together. “Suffer just the same.” Jake was about to brush her off, but she didn’t relent. “What you’re doing is hurting them.”

This now was about all of their children rather than you, specifically. Neytiri was trying to get him to see the bigger picture first before moving to cover what he did wrong with each child of his, they had had this conversation countless times before. 

Here we go again, Jake thought.

“Doesn’t matter if that’s what it takes to keep them safe.”

“Does it?” Neytiri leaned in, and calmness washed over him despite the disturbing nature of what she was saying. “Does it keep them safe? Or push them to act out more, get in worse situations?”

He grimaced. “I have to—”

“You feel like you have to.” His mate shook their clasped hands, rattling his bones. “I keep my children safe with trust and honesty. Transparence, Ma’Jake. So that they listen to me when I mean it because they See me. You shut them out.” Her lips bared to show her pearly teeth as she was practically beseeching him. “You don’t get your children’s trust by treating them like a squad.”

“They trust me plenty.”

“They trust Olo’eyktan. Toruk Makto. What about their father?”

“I make sure they’re safe.” Neytiri dropped his hands with an agitated snarl, she thought they were back at the beginning again, he couldn’t make her truly understand no matter what he did. He poured his heart out through their tsaheylu everytime, but her values and beliefs were wired so differently from his at the end of the day. “I make sure they stay where I want them to stay for their own good.” Jake shook his head, his voice soft, hushed. No force behind it when Neytiri was heated in return. “One day they’ll understand.”

“They won’t if you never tell them.”

“Tell them what?” Jake asked. “That I’m being harsh on them to prepare them for war? You think they’ll take it seriously after this?”

“Na’vi were in war long before you. There will be wars after you. No parent sullied his child’s happiness for the price of becoming a warrior. You still don’t get our ways even after all these years.” 

“The sky people’s way,” Jake emphasized with his arms. “I have to teach them how they think, what they go through, so they know what they’ll be facing, okay? I can’t simply teach them by telling them.”

“You’re deluding yourself, Jake. Contradicting.” Neytiri was gentle in her cruelty, the flickering flames burned less than her amber eyes. “Tuk and Kiri are getting none of this. I know your heart isn’t allowing you. Why can’t you do the same for your other children?”

Because he had gone too far already with the older three. 

Trial and error. 

He couldn’t take back the things he did and say back — and quite honestly? Jake was being pulled from all sides to sit down and rethink his parenting. All he thought anymore was how to protect his family, frequent nightmares of losing his children in gruesome ways were haunting his every step. 

A father protects his children, that’s what gives him meaning. 

Jake had his own desperate ways to do so.  

He opened his mouth to say something back, anything, but was interrupted by the communication line coming on. “Dad.” 

Jake immediately knew something was wrong, body sitting ramrod straight. If the frantic breathing and barely controlled voice wasn’t any indication of it, his eldest’s behavior was. Neteyam didn’t slip up in the codenames like Lo’ak did, dropped all formalities only when he was borderline panicking.  

“Dad. I’m sorry, dad, sir, I can’t find her, dad, I’ve looked everywhere around here, I thought maybe she was hiding underwater, behind rocks—but I can’t, I can’t—.”

“Slow down.” Jake could barely contain his own panic rising from the state his son was in. The boy wasn’t able to see it, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in as if Neteyam was right in front of him, and started gesturing with his hand. “Slow down, son.”

“Dad—”

Jake tsk-ed. “Neteyam, slow. Slow.”

Neytiri took his elbow. “What is it?”

He told her to wait with his gaze, and turned his attention back to Neteyam. This could only mean one thing, he was praying to be wrong — needed clarification. “Now tell me calmer. What’s going on?”

“She’s never been here. She never came here in the first place. There’s no sign of her. No trace. I’ve tracked.”

Jake’s instant response was fear. Domineering, ice-cold, cutting fear. Bodily and emotionally both. You were clockwork, similar to him in having unchanging routines and patterns. Angry? Went for a walk. Depressed? No talking to anyone until it passed. Happy? Wanted to go to the forest to spend time with your siblings and always craved sweet fruit. Didn’t want to be around anyone? Hid in the little bioluminescent cove with a pond two little mountains away, always. Always.  

Neytiri sensed this, observing the change of demeanor in him.“Ma’Jake?”

“Okay, son.” He seized back control. One missing child was enough. “Stay right there and don’t move. I’ll contact you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Jake,” Neytiri hissed finally, at the end of her ropes.

“She didn’t go to the cove,” he said, face icy neutral as always, but his eyes showed dizzying concern. Neytiri put a hand on her mouth as Jake wasted no time in changing channels. “Night Owl, this is Devil Dog. Come in.” He couldn’t even wait two seconds before trying again. “Night Owl, what is your status? Where are you?” 

Silence.

The more fear dug deeper into his skin, the more his anger and annoyance soared up, his tail was whipping the air erratically, the finger on the earpiece could send the metal right into his brain with how hard he was pressing on it. “I know you can hear me. This is no time for playing games. You know what you did to your brother? Do you know how panicked he was, not being able to find you—” 

Then Jake remembered what Neytiri advised, he didn’t change strategies because she was right next to him to dig his eyes out, but because his heart was picking up its pace by the second. “Tell me where you are, I’ll leave you alone, I promise, alright? If you’re somewhere open, get to safety, I’m only asking this from you. Or else—”

“Don’t.” Neytiri raised a warning finger at him, voice just above a whisper so they could hear their daughter if she decided to cut in. “Threaten her.”

He couldn’t stop her from snatching the communication device off of him. “Ma’ite, it’s mom. Can you talk to me at least?”

His ears twitched at picking up on you responding, not quite making out the words.  

Jake’s eyes shut close for a long time as his whole eyebrow line migrated upwards, he physically had to get a few steps between him and the earpiece so the obliviating worry that’d almost blinded him wouldn’t cause him to say something he’d greatly regret later. He could feel himself deflating. A migraine could be coming anytime soon.

You wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence but the moment your mother interrupted, you did? Fine. Fine. He didn’t care. Jake could live with it. At least you were alive.

A rippling shudder shook him the moment that thought hit him, an image of you lying dead in a ditch, pale blue, flashing in his mind, he had to run a hand down his face. 

When Jake looked back, irked by the silence, he found Neytiri standing completely stock-still. And all of a sudden, her petrifying glare was on him, ears pinned all the way back, hands gradually starting to tremble. 

“Neytiri?” 

She wordlessly handed him the device, and with a deep frown, Jake put it back in his ear. 

“Hi there Corporal, you hear me? Yeah, I know you do. As much as I’m charmed by the fatherly love I could give you a big old sloppy wet kiss, we have unfinished business.”

And the ground disappeared right under Jake’s feet, plunging him into hell itself.

taglist: @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @alohastitch0626 @jackiehollanderr @lucciera @qvrcll @iloveavatar @velvtcherie @ssc7514 @goldenmoonbeam @neteyamforlife @itsluludoll @jakesullys-bitch @blubrryy @sully-stick-together @arminsgfloll @alice121804 @noname2246 @justthingzsblog @eywamygoddess @m-1234 @ellabellabus07 @hellok1ttycake @dakotali @bluefire12348 @abbersreads @yellooaaa @aimsro @octavias-next-meat-bite @nikqdn @nao-cchi @spicycloudsalad @yeosxxx @heybiatchz @winxschester @elegantkidfansoul @eichenhouseproperty @kakimakiloh @dueiosy @liyahsocorro @dimplesxx @tigresslily

[thewitchblue]

You're a deity who is placed in a random universe on a random planet. Bored, you began to meddle in the lives of the heroes. You gave them their sidekicks, which your brother didn't like and killed one of them as a warning to stop. You didn't, in fact, stop, and your brother was punished to be thrown in another world as a human. You were allowed to resurrect little Jason despite the devastation you knew it would cause.

After a long time of boredom, you've joined the Justice League as a tagalong with your true identity hidden. The Justice League considers you a grenade amongst loaded guns, but you were just on the planet as divine punishment for winning a godly game of Uno against your family. You were simply having your fun until the losers cool down and bring you back.

They have not cooled down in over sixty years. You knew they were petty, but damn. Nobody has calmed down? Not even your sweet little sister? Sure, you crushed them at Uno, but why do they still care? Is something wrong in the celestial realm?

You sighed as you tapped your comms to answer the ringing. Superman needs help, and you were the only one stronger than him in terms of powers. You agreed to come help and flew out your door towards the threat.

"You'll have to stay out of my way and do damage control while I take out Darkseid. Get everyone to safety before helping."

Clark was on it while you arrived. You looked at Darkseid with a frown,

"You should really leave this world alone. You're never going to conquer it as long as the Justice League is here."

Darkseid sneered back,

"Well they aren't here. You are. Superman left you all by yourself."

You gave a displeased hum before flying to face him,

"I told him to leave. This is a fight between gods, don't you think?"

That seemed to unsettle Darkseid. He's heard about your hero name, but he hasn't faced another god.

"I'm the creator of magic and one of the protectors of humanity."

You looked almost bored. Nobody is getting to the humanity you helped create. You'd give your eternal life protecting the earth. Darkseid looked uncertain in continuing this battle now. Someone without fear is someone unconquerable.

"As I am the creator of magic, I am also the taker of magic. You are now as useful as a mortal. Can you fight as a mortal?"

Your smile was intimidating and your expression dark. Darkseid expected his usual fight with Superman, and he was close to winning, only to find out he had a grenade hidden in his suit.

You tend to keep to yourself the best you can, often staying to the side and helping Batman with cases or aiding in combat without your magic.

Darkseid was beginning to feel weak now. His strength and magic were being taken from him, sapped away like it never existed. He fell to his knees with a gasp.

You tilted your head as you approached his collapsed body. Well, that was underwhelming.

"Look at you. You're a joke without your magic. I'm unravelling you like a ball of yarn."

Superman floated above you both. He watched with wary eyes, as he lands at your side. Just like that? You have him on his knees without a single fight?

"You fight like a coward."

Darkseid said, but you only gave him a hum of acknowledgement. Clark didn't know how to feel about this uncomfortable knowledge.

"I'm just gloating before I remove you from existence. Any last words?"

Clark looked at you with wide eyes and horror on his face. He said,

"You can't kill him! He's a god!"

You grimaced. You didn't like removing a divine being, but this being will not be missed. You already had a being of evil in your family, so he won't be missed in the scheme of the universe. You flatly replied,

"Call me a god-killer then."

You hated the taste of his magic. You love chaos, but this is just vile. You'd be embarrassed to call him a being of divine magic. Nonetheless, you executed your justice happily.

"You were an embarrassment to the divine realm."

Clark looked nervous about letting you kill Darkseid, but he allowed it. He watched with morbid curiosity as Darkseid withered into nothingness and the very last atom was removed from existence. Clark asked,

"Will he come back?"

You shook your head. Never again will he return.

"My powers hold all things involving magic. Darkseid is a divine magical being that I could unravel without consequences. My brother could easily replace him, minus the conquests. He's content to be the king of Apokolips and I won a game of Sorry (the board game) so he won't extend farther."

Clark frowned. You did not leave your spot on earth, but yet you won a board game? What happened? As if you understood his questions, you explained,

"I can be at multiple places at the same time. I'm here, but I'm also helping with a monsoon in India and having a discussion with the government in Poland."

Clark understood and said,

"Thanks for the help. I didn't know you were a goddess."

You sighed softly. This was your most dreaded conversation. You wielded your intelligence more than your magic, which Batman respects deeply. You were the one helping him on tough cases and helping with his children, who are also the brains of their groups.

"I didn't want anyone to know. It would make you think about me differently."

Clark chuckled and shook his head. He had a knowing gleam in his eyes as he asked,

"Me or Batman?"

He had a teasing smile on his face. He knew you had a crush on Batman. You blushed and looked away. Batman was your guilty crush. Someone you found unobtainable but couldn't help but love. He was so charming when you got close to him, and it left you dizzy every time he gave you a smile. He was so private that even a small smile was worth gold, but he gave you a genuine smile, carefree and charming.

"Oh, hush. I can't let him think I'm omnipotent when I'm not. I aid him with my brain alone, not cheating by splitting myself."

Clark smiles fondly at you. He's going to make you both a couple. The whole League sees it but for some reason, you two can't see it.

"Make sure to invite me to the wedding."

He said with a wink before flying off the help with reconstructing the damage Darkseid did before you handled it.

"We're not going to get married!"

You screamed after him. However, now you were anxious about what Clark will do. You bit your lip nervously.

You found out the hard way that Clark is a romantic and he kept pushing Batman with everything he could think of. He even roped in his children to push him towards starting a relationship.

You were rolling with it, not necessarily reaching out, but also not pulling away. All of the children (except Jason) were pushing and pushing, even Wonder Woman, and both of the Green heroes (Green Arrow and Green Lantern) were in on it.

You were too shy to ask Bruce out, and Bruce was scared of inviting someone into his life. He was afraid to show his dark side and reveal himself. Sure, you are the best coworker he's even had, and you do make him feel human while he's Batman, but what if it fails? Relationships are always rocky with him; granted, you are a saint and the most understanding person on the planet. Part of him wanted to selfishly keep you to himself, but he needed a push to give in. He'll need you to ask him first.

You sighed as Nightwing physically pushed you into Batman with a thumbs up. He quickly scrambled away before you could hit him.

You looked at Bruce for a long moment. He was frozen with his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. He was still steadying you when you gave him a thoughtful expression.

"What's wrong?"

He asked nervously. He was about to let you go, but you stopped him. You eyed him a moment longer before kissing him. You didn't want to think about this any longer. You couldn't stand the constant pestering when you had feelings for him. You took the risk for them both.

He stiffened in your arms but eventually relaxed into the kiss and tentatively pulled you closer. He was overthinking everything the entire time, but this is him as Batman, not playboy Bruce Wayne. He feels vulnerable in a way he hadn't expected. Even with Selina Kyle, he never felt so raw and vulnerable.

You wrapped your arms around his neck loosely while his arms wrapped around your waist much more confidently now. Your embrace made him relax fully.

Your kiss was gentle and sweet. It felt like you were waiting for him to run away. To hide like a scared child.

He did not run. He pulled away from the kisses, but not the embrace. He kept you in his arms, even when you both rolled your eyes when everybody cheered. Clark said,

"I better be at your wedding, Bruce."

You laughed, and Bruce tried not to. You buried your face in his chest with a smile.

"Let's date before getting married."

He said calmly. You gave him another quick kiss. You told him sternly,

"We're dating now. I don't care if it's our hero selves or our civilian selves or even both."

He gave you a smile and it was the most beautiful smile you've seen.

You love Bruce with your entire immortal heart.

[muffin-snakes-art]

Hi. So I’m not a Layton guy and all THAT familiar with the lore, but a close friend of mine is, and as far as I understand Layton has a dead girlfriend? Can I please know who Magolor’s dead girlfriend equivalent in this AU is? I’m legitimately so curious. /pos

I have been thinking A LOT about which Kirby character would fit Claire's (dead gf) role. In the end I chose Taranza bc I feel he and Claire are the most similar in character. They're both really good at what they do (Claire: brilliant scientist - Taranza: immaculate mage), quick thinkers, humble, and have a lot of love to give.

I'll explain more under the cut (along with images of Claire and younger Layton for design ref), but Taranza could've also fit in as a couple other characters bc I made Sectonia as Descole. In this essay I will-

In Kirby there's an interesting connection between Magolor and Taranza. Primarily based on that one Magolor portrait in that haunted house in Triple Deluxe (like ok huh????) and also that one Star Allies Wave 3 illustration.

With that portrait existing, to me it implies that Magolor has met Taranza and Sectonia before the events of the game somehow. This theory is further backed up with the Old Friend mask in Merry Magoland. Magolor would HAVE to have known what Joronia looked like before her transformation, and that means he would also have met Taranza too at that time. I could be completely wrong about this HAHA but those are my thoughts on that.

When Wave 3 was announced, I didn't think much on the connection of the 3 characters other than they were from the first three core games of modern Kirby. But then they posted this art piece.

It's so cute how Magolor and Taranza combined their magic to create a shield for Kirby!! Both of their respective magic circle designs are melded together perfectly. Did they practice together on their own to perform this or was that a lucky in-the-moment occurrence? Either way, they must know and understand each other's magic abilities to a decent extent. Like how both Claire and Layton understands each other's careers and goals. Layton is a professor in archeology. Claire is a scientist researching time travel and other stuffs. Those fields go hand in hand, and the two do what they can to support and improve each other's passions.

Now onto the other characters that Taranza would've fit as and reasons why I ended up putting him as Claire.

So I put Sectonia as Descole. Descole has an extremely loyal partner/butler/henchman named Raymond. Yea Taranza would easily fit as him, but a few things made me decide not to. Descole may appear cold and not show it, but even in his madness he cares for Raymond. He does order Raymond around, but he still gives Raymond freewill to do as he pleases. Sectonia is very controlling over Taranza. If Raymond were to make mistakes, I don't see Descole punishing him for them. Sectonia would. She blasted Taranza away for mistaking Dedede as the hero of the lower world. Maybe when she was Joronia she wouldn't and wasn't as controlling but....I feel we don't have the full story on their relationship. I also focused more on Sectonia's overall in-game personality. I absolutely love seeing the two spiders enjoying each other's company and having fun, but in-game we never really got what Joronia really thought of Taranza. As Sectonia, she saw him as a disposable servant. You can say her personality was corrupted by the mirror, but I personally believe the mirror actually amplified her negative feelings and views. Negative emotions are brought up a lot in Kirby lore. I personally find that more interesting than just the mirror possessing her or something. I may be very wrong on that, but those are what I thought about.

Last reason, which is uhm, Raymond saves Descole from death FGDHSJ I don't think I need to elaborate on that. It would be so neat and ironic to have Taranza as Raymond, but I also wanna keep things in line as possible with Kirby lore canon.

Yet, who could be Raymond then? Idk fgdsj that's why I struggled so much. If Claire wasn't an option, Taranza would've been Raymond.

Now the one other character Taranza could've fit as is Descole's late wife. His wife was never mentioned by name, to my memory, and didn't have a huge role in the games. There's not enough information on who she was. I wanted to give Taranza a fitting role in personality and importance.

So in the end after all that thinking, Claire it is! I also don't know who else in the Kirby cast would fit her better and be Professor Magolor's late partner. One may think Susie would fit Claire more, but I've already decided she will be Emmy. Emmy's and Susie's personalities are very similar to me. And Emmy's lore? Fits quite well with Susie's. I'll draw that at some point.

So uh yea. Thanks for reading all that if you did! Hope you enjoyed the insanity

[cerastes]

How do you rate the gacha booty shooter?

NIKKE sure is a game! It's the funnest mixed bag I've played lately. As a side game, it's been pretty good, because it's good at what it does good, and not terrible at its weak points, leaving you with a pretty "Ok :)" feeling overall.

So what's up with Nikke? Yeah, let's have a talk about that so I can explain a bit by what I mean with "fun mixed bag".

Nikke's setting is the same old tired, you've seen it a million times: Once day, humanity was almost decimated by a mysterious enemy that came out of nowhere... We call it... The Enemy! They were simply too strong, so humanity had to deploy its strongest weapons: Anime Girls. And you are the lucky Authority Figure that commands the Anime Girls to defeat The Enemy! But... The Enemy and Anime Girls have more in common than it seems...!?

Replace "The Enemy" with "Rapture", "Anime Girl" with "Nikke", Authority Figure with... Technically "Commander" but more on this in a bit, and you've got Nikke. In other words, the game's setting and premise are just a few word swaps away from being Punishing Gray Raven, Snowbreak, and a bunch of other properties. But here's the thing: Whereas Punishing Gray Raven tells you its story with all the charm and pizzazz of a Wikipedia article, and Snowbreak... Uh, stands there staring at a wall Blair Witch style because nothing ever fucking happens in Snowbreak, Nikke actually has good moment to moment flow. Allow me to elaborate.

Read More break here because I wrote a lot more than I intended:

Nikke has probably the dumbest premise to open with: The Nikkes are basically superpowered cyborg girls (war machines with human brains) that look like supermodels on purpose because they were created, in the game's own words, "with the ideal form in mind". That's all a wordy way of saying they are super hot girls with very powerful guns and superhuman physical capabilities. The dumb part is that Nikkes are treated like absolute shit in-universe by humans. You're telling me humanity is making cyborgs -- not even full on robots or AI, these are straight up people getting turned into weapons -- that are hot as fuck and have tits bigger than my head and asses that could crush cars under their sheer heft and then decided to hate them and treat them like shit, and also these cyborgs are the ones actually keeping humanity alive? Well yeah we need a reason for the Main Character (you!) to be Special and bond with them, so your thing is that You Don't Treat Nikkes Like Shit. In fact, you care for them.

Now, this is all absolutely fucking stupid, but then, the game sort of... Realizes how stupid it is? And some may say "this was always the plan" but to me personally it feels like they kinda realized how god damn stupid this all was as a premise, and they started veering the car mid-trip because for a while this all feels REALLY sincere, not in a foreshadowing way, but then you have some developments such as "no yeah, Commanders are a dime a dozen, are brainwashed into seeing Nikkes as walking garbage and that they'll be heroes, risk their lives for pennies and are extremely expendable", and there's also what I consider a really good and consistent thing the game has done: Nikkes were always a desperate last minute rushed product as a concept, so the safety measures in place so that they don't rebel against humans were never perfect.

This is what I mean by the moment to moment being good: The plot is absolutely whatever, the setting is something you've seen a million times, but the actual scene by scene, beat by beat, is fun. On the micro level, the game knows how to be entertaining and interesting, and when they expand these micro nuggets of gold to a macro level of writing, it's when they end up with their best bits of narrative and world building. I want to use two examples about the whole safety measures thing: Crow and Rose.

Crow is a Nikke that hates humans and is part of a squad of known dangerous elements that Missilis, the most irresponsible of the Big Three companies, is responsible for. This squad is Exotic, and Exotic works with you (your squad is named Counters) on this one mid-game chapter. The thing is, they never really intended to work with you, and Crow wanted you dead because Crow wants to spark a Human Vs Nikke conflict in the Ark (humanity's last big home), because you might quell the hostility between both sides. But, Nikkes can't intentionally kill humans (accidents happen and a Nikke may be ordered to subdue a human, but they are hardwired to not be able to shoot at them or kill them). So, how does Crow go about it when she betrays you? She has her squadmate Jackal plant a steel plate on the ground, and then shoots the plate in a way that the bullet ricochets and hits you. NIMPH, what's used to, among many other things, make sure Nikkes can't turn on humans, was so, so easily circumvented, and this is consistent with what we've been told about the Ark and Nikke in universe development in general: It's sloppy, it's lazy, it's not good. Rose, the other example, is a Nikke from a flashback story around a hundred of years before the start of the game. Rose was a prototype Nikke that was geared for melee combat instead of ranged combat, as all Nikkes are, and she was one of ten such units. Basically, Rose realized that their human Commander was intentionally trying to get them killed until one remained, which would be deemed the success of the line in Darwinian fashion. Rose got so immensely, justifiably angry at this that she plotted to kill the Commander. How can she do this, though, with the NIMPH that prevents her from doing so? Well, Rose was an actual swordmaster, and what she did was wear a blindfold, convince herself that what she was slicing was not a human, but a Rapture, and then she easily killed the shit out of him, unimpeded by her system. The NIMPH, end of the day, is sloppily made, highly dependent on the mental state of the Nikke, and easily circumvented. This is a very important plot point throughout the story, and the way they show this in multiple ways is really good.

Another thing I like is how the game goes about the player's title. It's technically "Commander" but the truth is, most every single Nikke calls you a different way relative to your relationship with them or their impression of you. Rapi and Anis some of the few that call you Commander, because they are in fact your subordinates, but Rapi says "Shikikan" while Anis says "Shikikan-sama" in a sarcastic way initially and after a while in an affectionately playful way, Neon calls you "Master" (Shishou) because she likes the way you use firepower, Liter calls you "Greenhorn" because you are, well, that in her eyes, Moran calls you "Partner" (Ototou, "little brother" in Japanese) because she's the head of a crime syndicate and she considers you as a cool person under her protection, the sports inclined ones call you "Coach", the school themed ones "Teacher", Viper, the flirty one, "Honey" or "Darling" depending on the scene, and so on, the old timey Scarlet calls you "My Lord", the religious Rapunzel uses "Believer", and the coarse, rough around the edges Snow White just uses "You" (Omae). It's a great touch that I like when it's done.

So, basically, you have a charming combination of a setting that's been overdone infinite times with plot beats that vary between legitimately good (the NIMPH and its logistics) and legitimately bad (Whatever the fuck Chapter 18 was, to name one case), and moment to moment that's really charming and entertaining.

The gameplay is honestly extremely unbalanced, and the sheer disparity in strength between units of the same rarity makes you wonder if they have anyone in the team that actually cares about balance, but honestly, putting the issues of balance aside? It's fun to point at stuff and shoot a million bullets and rockets, and they even get pretty creative with the fights sometimes in terms of enemy types and how they use them against you, so gameplay balance is awful, gameplay itself is suprisingly good for how simple it is.

I know people are going to be like "Dreamer, You Didn't Even Rate The Asses" so okay here:

First of all, the ergonomically perfect ass of the VIXEN that lured me into the game in a moment of weakness, Scarlet:

And next up, the Clothed But Massive Ass of Snow White

In fact, I appreciate the variety, because if it was just bare cheeks and panty shots, it'd be kinda whatever to me, but bodysuit ass and clothed but noticeably huge ass? Fresh, to be honest.

Also notable is that progress in entirely gated by passive production of resources and daily stuff because there's no stamina system. Bold!

But yeah feel free to ask more specific questions, but this is pretty much how I've felt about it.

[okaeri-ossan]

I've been under the weather so I randomly picked up this Alice Soft visual novel called Diabolique. The company is a legend in the industry as is known for creating the (much praised and maligned) Rance series. I haven't played that but I have played Toushin Toshi and Mamatoto, both of which I enjoyed quite a bit. However, I've been really surprised by Diabolique so far...

Diabolique is a pure love story about a demon-ish kinkiller guy named Azulite falling in love with a very punished little girl named Leticia. Tragedy befalls them, and the immortal Azulite travels the land in search of Leticia's reincarnations with the goal of making her happy throughout all her lifetimes.

I was seriously surprised by how pure it all is. There were some lines in Toushin Toushi that made me go "awww" and I assume that's thanks to the writer Tori, who has had her in hand on Alice Soft since the start. There's lots of tooth-rottingly sweet sentiments, like "I'll chase all the bad things in your nighmares away" or "even if you won't speak to me, I'll watch over you so you're happy". They're the kind of straight-forward precious words that I always fall victim to. TOO KYUUUUUUTE! It gives the work a feeling not dissimilar to... joseimuke? But there's a bunch of monster r*pe sometimes too. But also there's cute stuff. So yeah, too kyute LOL

The most moe character isn't any of the heroines, though (even if Leticia and Aria are very adorable). It's the immortal demon protagonist, killer of his own kind. Azulite is the gentlest, sweetest man I have no clue how he ended up in an H-game.

When I said the game was pure love, I meant it. This man is too pure. He starts off the game wandering through the desert alone all badass-like before stopping to talk to flowers ("aren't flowers and humans the same?"). He's timid in front of people and painfully polite, always bowing and saying excuse me, tripping over his words when he's flustered (which is often). He has a genuine deep care for the heroine, promising to protect her from the painful things in her life. It's a promise so strong he follows her into her next lives. It's okay if she falls in love with someone else, as long as she's happy and safe. He tries to do all the domestic chores (FRILLY APRON TIME!), he gets up early to cook for her, he draws her a hot bath if she needs it, and most of all he watches over her when she sleeps so she won't get nightmares. In that case, isn't he like a guardian angel? He's a demon who hates himself and prays to God because he wants to be good, but I think he ended up acting like a real angel. Leticia, the poor heroine who experiences endless tragedy throughout her many lives, will always be loved where ever she goes. I still have yet to finish it but I want them to be happy in the end. And if they can't have a happy ending, then I hope he will continue following Leticia through her many lifetimes...

It's not a game I would recommend for various reasons-- the painfully outdated system, the menu functions that break the pacing in areas, the previously mentioned r*pe that pops up-- but it's got so much wholesomeness (I know that sounds silly after what I've just said) I can't stop reading. Sometimes, you need some sugar sweetness in a brutal world. Sometimes... malewife (╯▽╰ ) Okay time to go see if I can snag any doujinshis of the main couple they are mega totes adorbz KYAHHHH!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[yan-lorkai]

hi! if its ok, can i ask blood, cruelty, game, naughty, stigma, vice, zenith (from yandere alphabet list) for idia? thank you!!

*･゜ﾟ Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He is literally the most desperate mess you can imagine. He has the resources of STYX at his disposal and the brains of a seasoned strategist to concoct a plan good enough to get you to fall in love with him, but he lacks the necessary calm for it. Idia sees flaws in his plans where none exist, wanting every detail to be precise and perfect. He wants to have you around soon, he craves it and when he does, don't expect to escape him and his obsessive eyes.

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He would treat you very well. Months before the kidnapping, Idia begins to observe items that comfort you, your forms of leisure and hobbies, things like that, everything to make your adaptation happen at a smooth pace. He wants you to feel comfortable and happy with your new surroundings, and he will be patient as you get used to it, never once showing his frustration or anger. And no, he wouldn't make fun of you, but he would probably drop a few teasing comments to see some other reaction from you.

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Idia cares more for you than he does for his games, so this whole thing is no game at all. He genuinely wants you to find happiness with him and seeing you scared and trying to escape breaks his heart with every attempt.

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

None of your punishments are physical, but they are mental. Idia has a way with words and he knows how to use them well enough to make you doubt yourself and other people. It's subtle. And if you've been behaving really badly, Idia, however hesitant, can use your insecurities against you. And since Twst is a completely different world, I hc that there is or he can create a machine capable of erasing the memories that a person has. So yes, he would threaten you with it. After all, you don't want to forget your world and everything in it, right? :)

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His childhood. Idia had always been a bit of a loner and after that whole incident with Ortho, Idia harbored a great deal of guilt. His actions led to that, but that's okay, he managed to get his brother back. And out of fear that his actions might have the same consequence on you or that other dangers might befall you, Idia decides that he must keep you safe.

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

I would say you could try to get help from Ortho, show him proof that the relationship you have with Idia is not as healthy as he makes it out to be and all that. But considering Ortho was programmed by Idia, I imagine he would turn a blind eye to it and pretend not to notice everything out of loyalty to his older brother.

⠀⠀

*･゜ﾟ Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If there was no other way, then yes. But know that he wouldn't be happy about that because, despite his delusional state, he knows that if he breaks you, a part of you that he loves will cease to exist.

⠀⠀⠀⠀

゜ﾟ Requests for the yandere alphabet are still open. Send me a letter and a character!

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Okay here I am again because the Grima brainrot is particularly intense rn and I just saw a post talking about.

Grima but as a woman. Like genderbend. Nothing changes, same looks, same personality, same behaviour, same ambiguous feelings for Eowyn. (I’d smash.)

I think it’s actually interesting considering that Grima’s flaws in the movies/books are hinted also to be rooted from his “unmanliness” (as Tolkien presents a lot of characters with honour and values considered “male”.)

But I think that even if he were to be a woman, there is a great deal of traits Grima wouldn’t possess to be considered conventionally “feminine” by Tolkien’s and many’s standards. (Such as beauty for example).

So yeah, it just occurred to me and now I’ve been thinking about this since 3am. This is the reason why I’m pansexual. We don’t care about gender. We care about silly evil pookies okay.

As always have a great day/night ! ^^

Yesssss!

Grima & Gender is a super interesting thing that I think about all the time. I love thinking about him and manliness, femininity, secret third and fourth options etc.

I know I reblogged the ask/reply that I had about Grima on Gender and Magic, so you have the gist of most of my thoughts as it relates to Grima performing gender (or not, as the case may be) within the context of masculinity.

But Grima straight up as a woman would be very interesting. Particularly because Rohan is quite gendered when it comes to the wielding of power - and quite binary in who wields what power.

(E.g., when Theoden departs Edoras to fight Saruman, he despairs over leaving the city leaderless because Eomer won't stay behind. It doesn't occur to him that Eowyn is even an option until Hama suggests it.)

Therefore, Grima being in a position of power that is traditionally masculine would be very interesting. Indeed, her entire performance of gender would likely be impacted by the uniqueness of her position. Queens, historically, were more passive in Rohan than in other countries so it's not like she would have someone to model herself on. Nor would there be a model for other people on how to receive and perceive Grima.

(Morwen, maaaaaybe, but honestly her epithet of Steelsheen is more about her appearance than anything else. Though perhaps her personality could be inferred from it... But truly, we only know her in the context of being wife and mother.)

Given the absence of models, would Grima into the more masculine aspects of how people would be reading her? Would she do the whole performance of "I may have the body of a woman but I've the head and heart of a man"? Or would she hyper-perform the femininity song and dance as a way to balance it out/make her more palatable to some?

Aside from the occupying a masculine position of power within the context of Rohan's society, Grima's other personality and physical traits would absolutely count against her being seen as appropriately feminine.

Good qualities for a Rohirrim woman to have is height, slenderness, fairness of face, and youthfulness. Grima's tall...and that's all she's got going for her.

Grima is also neither high-hearted nor noble in bearing let alone in birth (because nobility of birth is very important to one's perceived Goodness and Worth in Tolkien's world).

Grima is a sneak, a liar, a thief, and power hungry. Grima would be, fundamentally, a Woman Who Wants Something. And what she wants are things women shouldn't want.

Wanting Things in general, for both men and women, is a dangerous game to play in Middle Earth and the texts punish many of the people who do any major "unacceptable" desiring (or creating) of things outside their purview.

Grima's obvious foil, Eowyn, is a prime example. Eowyn wants to be a warrior, she wants to be queen, she wants to be part of the Gondor noble family (and assume the power and privilege that comes with that), she wants to be seen and heard and to have an impact on the fate of the world.

Some of her wanting was out of a selfless desire to save her home and her people, but a lot was also just her having dreams and desires.

Eowyn may have been named as Shieldmaiden of Rohan but it is evident that this was meant as an honorific that wasn't meant to be actually acted upon. Save, of course, in the gravest/most dire circumstances when all is lost and only women remain to defend the land because the men are dead. This is, indeed, the gist of the conversation she has with Aragorn and you can see her resentment and anger about what her expected role is to be compared to that of her brother and the other men in her life.

I think the fact that Eowyn reflects, in many ways, the ideal of womanhood is what saves her from being punished too hard. Eowyn is tall, fair, slender, young, high-hearted, daughter of kings, and has selfless and noble motives (alongside the more human ones).

She is allowed her transgression. She gets her great moment of battle against the witch-king. She gets to make her mark, to save people, to change history.

But, she also receives a bit of a personality transplant as a result of it. She gets to be a wife - but not a queen. She gets to be a mother who heals people. She gets to be a Proper Noble Woman and live, once again, in a gilded cage. The very thing she was so furious about initially.

I know there is the idea that she is healed and she has overcome her anger and has changed - but it still feels like the text punished her and robbed her. Of course, a huge part of the problem is that Eowyn is the only women we spend any real time with - if we had more women with diverse journeys and endings, it would be different.

It's subconscious to a certain degree, I think, also heavily informed by Tolkien's Catholicism alongside the culture of the time. The importance of the Marian archetype of womanhood etc. And we know Tolkien loved Eowyn's character and thought about her a lot, wanted to write a good story for her, but some of that stuff sneaks in regardless.

But all of this to say - if that is Eowyn's ending...what would happen to Grima? One who would be committing greater transgressions against gender performance let alone the whole Light Soupçon of Treason.

Because aside from wanting material wealth and power, we know that Grima potentially desires Eowyn. In the movie it's explicit but the books are more ambiguous. We are told, via Gandalf, that Eomer was concerned about Grima ogling his sister and threatened to kill him over it. Crucially, we never hear from Grima about this specific item and we certainly never hear from Eowyn.

Indeed, Gandalf's line to Eomer about how his sister is "safe now" says far more about Eomer's fears and concerns than it does about the reality of the situation. We know in ROTK that Eomer didn't know his sister's heart or mind - he didn't know she was unhappy with her position in the household and broader society, he didn't know she wa so angry and resentful, he didn't know she was in emotional pain, he didn't know what she wanted, he didn't know jack. Therefore can we think him reliable when it comes to being a fountain of knowledge about his sister's desires?

I mean...considering no one was paying much attention to her, and when they did they were reading their own things onto her (coughEomercough), perhaps Eowyn liked having Grima pay attention to her? Like, who knows. Someone who may have seen her and may have known what her fears and desires were might have been novel/nice (before she realized he's selling everyone out for a corn chip). Heck, Gandalf implies that Grima had a pretty good handle on Eowyn's innermost dreams and wishes, so take that as you will.

(I now have this image in my head of Eowyn and Grima getting wine drunk out back of Meduseld and bitching about people.)

All pure idle speculation for the sake of pot-stirring. Anyway, I keep getting distracted.

Grima as a woman feeling lust, though - that would be another strike against her. Honourable love and the implied desire that might exist because of it is fine. But in the text overt desire of a clearly sexual nature is presented in a mostly negative light. Let alone, in this speculation, Grima is lusting after another woman! That's even more unnatural and contrary! What a freak /sarcasm.

Then there's the cowardice - which is shown as a negative no matter who is displaying it. Though, I think of all the aspects of Grima, this is the one that would get more of a pass as a woman than as a man.

So yeah - given that Grima's entire personality is one that is contrary to what is modeled as Good Femininity it would be very interesting to see how it played out over the course of the text.

Everything from the banishment, which was predicated on Grima being expected to do battle alongside Theoden in order to prove that he is still loyal - what test of loyalty would Grima as a woman be expected to perform and then fail because she's too chickenshit?

The relationship with Saruman would be construed in a different way, also the hold Grima had over Theoden - that would take on different implications. And those implications would also change how Theoden is perceived, too, which is interesting.

That Theoden is leaning on a woman for support in ruling would make him seem even weaker and more foolish. It would be so interesting to see it unfold!

Then there's the rivalry with Gandalf - the positioning of them as two sides of the Odinnic coin.

Also the being tortured and tormented by Saruman after Helm's Deep. Not to mention the Scouring of the Shire and Grima's ultimate end. If Grima is a woman, in this, I think Tolkien would have had her ending be different.

----

Alright, I've banged on for way, way too long about this and went no where in particular, and all has been said before in different ways so I'm not landing on anything new or insightful.

Just wittering...I love wittering about Grima so thank you for giving me the opportunity to lol

<3 <3

[polyhexian]

I'm not surprised to see kingers wife confirmed. We see a picture of her! That wasnt an accident. The fact she is also a chess piece is interesting tho. Since everyone has such varied appearances. They obviously have lost their memories, and pomni says "in here" so they mean they met here and became husband and wife. But I wonder if they may have been husband and wife before they came to the circus and then met again and re-fell in love. That would be very sweet, I think. He also comes across so distinctly paternal it makes me wonder if he/they had any children in the real world, and if they still exist. If so I guess it's theoretically possible its pomni, that maybe she came to investigate the mysterious disappearance of her parents and put on the helmet blablabla, but. I don't really feel like that's the case. I wouldn't be surprised if kinger DID have a kid/kids back in the real world though.

JAX.... Every day NPC jax theory becomes stronger. The thing is that because it was so IMMEDIATELY a theory makes me think it's kind of an intentional red herring. Like, jax is SO fucking sus it's unreal. But to me he's sus on a level that it's sus. His susness is sus. I suspect the surprise reveal is likely just that he's as frightened and confused as everyone else is and he just copes by not caring about anything. Obviously Cain is very suspicious but it seems a bit like he is in a more similar boat to the others than he lets on or even suspects. He's got a role he's filling but he's not a true mastermind. Bubble is obviously extremely suspect because bubble is not treated as one of the human residents but also doesn't appear to be an NPC. so what IS bubble. Where does she come from? It would make for a very fun scene revealing that silly bubble is a bad guy I'm sure, but that still feels very surface level.

I think the most interesting part of tadc is that it starts with an immediate mystery of what is going on, and the absolute certainty that there is a twist. They don't have much info but some of it has to be a lie and you don't know which parts. There are facts missing and you don't know where. It's a fun show to speculate on.

This kind of story has a few potential twist directions at the outset. There's the soma direction, not in they're all actually robots or AI or whatever, but that the reason they're in a program could be the twist. That the world ended or something and they've escaped to somewhere their consciousnesses can survive. Could be that this was part of a game being designed that was meant to be sword art online style trapping players, but the devs have stopped it from ever coming out somehow with their own self sacrifice. Maybe all of them are already dead wooohoohoooo. But not like ghosts or something like digital consciousnesses uploaded to a computer and the body died.

With all of the allusions to the circus being Hell I wonder if that is the twist, that it IS hell. Not like literally but like. It was created to punish in some way. Like whoosh, twist, none of our lovely protagonists are innocent good people, theyve all done something Bad and are here as a direct result of it, except for pomni.

Still can't form a true theory IMHO, tho I'm sure ppl smarter than me already have better ideas.

[sopaprimordialy]

I've been thinking about how Luther could have fit so easily into the Disney Renaissance villains again.

He and the Rogues really make me remember what we lost by getting rid of simple villains.

Luther can either be a product of his environment if we go by the original movie / video game or he can be a symptom of the general bigotry that exists in the world.

I feel like if he were created specifically today they're probably would have made him way too complex like some sort of direct parallel to Cyrus or something and we would have lost so much what makes him so interesting.

He can be genuinely terrifying but can also be very comedic depending on how you look at them or even downright pathetic given he may or may not be the son of Victor and is imitating with his father probably does to his own loved ones.

I like the idea of Luther being the embodiment of "suffering doesn't create good people, it creates suffering", in the sense of: I don't think it's *possible for someone to end up that fucked up without some trauma. Like, why would he even be in gang life he lived in a totally stable, loving and caring household?

(*I mean I don't have the needed knowledge to even begin a discussion about people being born "evil" as their nature X being a product of their environment so let's just say its highly unlikely)

The way he says the line "life is pain" makes me believe that he did go through something. The way he is disconnected from everything around him and sees himself as this pain-bringer entity that won't ever face the consequences of his own acts (and, when he does, he just kinda regresses to being a whiny little kid) could be a response to being neglected, isolated. Neglected in a way that he would never be punished for whatever, but neither loved or cared.

I can almost see in my mind he going fucking berserk throughout his entire childhood and teenage years, like, terrorizing other kids at school being the worse kind of bully to ever exist and never being held accountable for that. And I can see he doing that for attention. Eventually, the attention he would get from being a jerk TM wouldn't be enough, and he would start doing more hardcore stuff, progressively more criminal, and boom, gang gang gang.

And then the general bigotry of the world comes to scene, because if he's being neglected and his family* (talking abt that later) isn't educating him, "the streets" will, will them not? At least, that's what my mom always told me. But this "street educational system" aka the police seems to work faaaar better on anyone that isn't, like, a white cisgender male. He has so much less to fear, honestly, it's comical.

Luther is both of those things and at the same time he's also this caricature of a villain that keeps laughing maniacally and saying shit like "yes indeed wanna see 'em bleed get the mop mop mop" and the whole watch the word burn and chaos take over thing. Weirdly enough, this is one of the best ways I've seen this kind of problem being represented; it should be considered pathetic to be hateful about things like race, gender, sexuality... bigotry *is* pathetic, and I like the fact that a character that generally represents how society treats (or, at least, wishes to treat) minorities is portrayed as such.

(This section is dedicated to talking about his hypothetical family)

So. Families.

The first social structure we meet as soon as we're born. Your family has the duty to keep you safe, nourished, loved, and basically teach you how to be a decent human being, at least ideally.

But what if this structure is, let's say, fucked up? Trauma inducing, ain't it? Then everything goes down the drain: the protection, the love, the teachings, the function human being... that's part of what I see in Luther.

In the possibility of Victor being Luther's father, I imagine him being pretty emotionally absent, maybe even physically, considering he would be out to work a lot. Still, Luther would look up to him a lot, it's his father, after all. Maybe if he does everything right, he can get his attention! If we consider he's talking to Victor in that phone call, it fits!

(Further context for why I think that: I found in the movie wiki that Patrick, the actor for both og Luther and Victor, once said that he's talking to a character called "The Boss". Apparently, he kinda just made that shit up and it became canon since no other explanation was given. In the same part of the wiki, I found this commentary that he must look up to that person considering the unique way they interact with them then and in other instances in the game)

Ok now it's 4 am. I need to finish this thing before going to sleep so I'm sorry if this last part is rushed or incomprehensible I don't wven know how I'm still awake

Victor also seems to be very aggressive, and I doubt he keeps it only to harassing young women at work and throwing them under trains (*sob*). He would of course behave like that at home too, I totally agree with you that, in great measure, the way he acts with his crew is basically him imitating how Victor would act with his family.

It's funny and tragic for me to imagine that the way he treats Cropsy — both the passive aggressiveness he shows in the musical and the physical assaults he does in other medias — being just a mirror of how Victor would treat his wife.

I think it was you that talked about Luther's parents being divorced at some point (but I could be wrokg cause I'm super sleepy rn) and dude I agree so fucking much with that. I think they would be the kind of couple that takes way too long to get divorced (esp considering the time period we're talking about) and that just leaves more and more trauma on their children's heads.

Imagine Luther's whole villain's past being like "my dad be rude and violent :( my parents divorced :( now I kill oppressed ppl's leadership:("

*read it in a whinny lil voice

He doesn't need a complex "Cyrus' parallel that went wrong" past to work and this simplicity is beautiful, but if he was written nowadays it would happen 100%

[evita-shelby]

12 Days of Smuff:

Day 12: Candlelight and Collaring

Luca Changretta x Eva Smith

cw: smut, dom/sub dynamic(m dom/ f sub), collaring kink, master/slave dynamic, blowjob, cum eating, slight degradtion kink, breeding kink

The ring on the choker twinkles in the candlelight making him think up of ways to remind the witch he was her master and she, his slave. The Italian Capo had not expected the Maga to be into that, but God did it feel great to have a cultured lady in the streets and a filthy whore in his bed.

“You’re playing with fire, pussycat.” Luca toys with the heart shaped ring hanging at the center of the black choker.

Eva is not fond of playing by the rules.

He should’ve known she’d made this dinner a game for just the two of them.

But the witch looks good in the collar masked as a simple choker.

“Maybe you should remind me what my place is.” She's in a mood to be the submissive one tonight. The witch can switch things up and have him on his knees for her, but tonight she wants her husband to put her in her fucking place. “Besides, they won’t know what it means, and if they do, well, you get to punish me all night long, Luca.”

This kink of theirs was reprieve for her. A reprieve of being the most powerful woman in the world and the deity the Black Hand owes all its successes to. Spinetta has been running her ragged to ensure this next fight with the gangs encroaching on their territories goes as it should, it is no wonder why the witch decided to wear the collar to show she is the submissive wife of Spinetta’s biggest threat.

To be relegated to chattel and be used like the whores his younger brother likes too much.

“Behave for me and I might be a good master to you.” Luca smirked before taking them back to the candlelight dining room.

And she does, she is the perfect wife and hostess who has their guests completely unaware of how easily she gives her husband the leash that came with the collar. They think she is the one in charge even in their marriage, and yet the collar winking at them in the candlelight tells a different story.

“Have I been good, master?” Eva asked in the now empty dining room, the candlelight giving her beauty a mystical feel to her. Like a creature created solely by God for Luca’s pleasure.

He sits at the host’s chair and beckons his wife closer until she is kneeling between his spread knees.

“Yes, you behaved so good for me I might get you a better collar for more nights like these.” The older man put on the leash they hide on their bedside drawer along with all the naughty things their Leonardo isn’t allowed to know about.

There had been close calls, but the boy luckily remained unaware of the sordid fucking that produced him and would give him a sister.

“A gold one with emeralds to go with the earrings you got me for my birthday.” The witch suggests revealing she knows what one of his gifts to her this year will be.

“Ask your master nicely, pussycat.” The Italian tugged at the leash and his witch of a wife obediently undid his trousers with great care and waiting for his command even if her eyes are dark with anticipation of what happens next.

Luca would fuck her face here in the dining room with the expensive candles and wipe his seed off her pretty with the linens even his boss cannot afford. Then he intends to bend her over the table and be as rough as the witch can handle him being.

“Please, master, may I get a new collar, so everyone knows I belong only to you?” the witch asks desperate to take his cock into her wicked mouth and be his ever-obedient wife.

The suffragettes would be scandalized by her behavior, to see such an indomitable creature reduced to a far too willing sex slave because nothing makes her cum harder than having her husband be rough with her.

A shame she didn’t misbehave tonight, nothing better than punishing her until she’s a filthy mess on the tablecloth. It would be a sight to see, the witch fucked dumb on the table and filled with his cum and begging him for more.

“Please your master well, and I’ll give you the best money can afford.” The capo allows her to suck his cock, and the witch takes it greedily as if she didn’t give him head this morning.

She is good with her tongue, licking the precum beading at the head and then running it along the shaft before taking it all inside her mouth as he trained her to do during their long honeymoon in Rome. A perfect whore for the Italian Capo who intends to rule the world with her.

But he is not in the mood for letting her please him at her own pace, Luca grabs her by the silky dark hair carefully arranged in the latest styles and pulls on it until it falls out of place as he sets a harsh pace.

“Did you think your master would go easy on you, pussycat?” he groans as he fucks her pretty face only to pull out and cum all over her tan neck and the low-cut velvet gown. The cum looks as good as her best jewels on her in the candlelight, the ruined velvet making sure the next time she wears it the witch will be fucked until they’ve given their sweet little boy a sister.

Perhaps he’ll tie her leash to the bed and not let her leave it until she’s pregnant, he thinks to himself as he takes one of his fingers and gives her a taste of his seed.

“You should.” The witch said as she licked his fingers clean believing their scene had come to an end.

“I don’t remember giving you permission to read my mind.” He smirked as he tugged at her leash enough to make her wince. Not enough to truly hurt her, but enough to remind her he is her master until he says it’s over.

[thetorturedpoetsfest]

Welcome to Day 20, of The Tortured Poets Fest!

Thank you so much for coming along for the ride :) Us and these fics, we had a hell of a time!

🤎🤍 Click the links listed below to check out all of the content our lovely Tortured Poets have created for all of us today! (and go to our bio to access the rest of the AO3 Collection)

✍️ Wandwork and Woodwork by RebelWriter99

Ship(s): Dorcas Meadowes/Marlene McKinnon

Rating: M

Summary:

It’s the summer after 7th year, War is seemingly inevitable and Dorcas is visiting her parents home. Very briefly. Now seems as good a time as any to be honest-and she expects to say her goodbyes. Unfortunately, she’s not the only one who’s dropped in for a visit…

Featuring Dorcas squishing some truly nasty Death Eaters and then going to find her girlfriend. Because this is really her party I’m just here to write it all down. 🕯 Fake It Till You Make It by Astrophelion

Ship(s): James Potter/Regulus Black

Rating: E

Summary:

James Potter is missing.

This, for the record, is of no concern to Regulus Black. He’s never liked Potter. If anything, they’re unspoken mortal enemies by dint of the Sirius situation. And even if Regulus did care, which he doesn’t, it’s not as though he has the mental capacity to worry about anyone’s problems outside of his own - see: Dark Mark appointment next week.

Which is what makes it really bloody inconvenient that after almost two months of search parties, false leads, and general public despair, James reappears by crashing straight into Regulus' life.

🗝 Who's Gonna Hold You Like Me? by Zed_5 (art)

Ship(s): Evan Rosier/Barty Crouch Jr.

Summary: But you're in self-sabotage modeThrowing spikes down on the roadBut I've seen this episode and still loved the showWho else decodes you?And who's gonna hold you like me?And who's gonna know you, if not me

📜 The Hogwarts Reunion, or the First Meeting of the aIMee Support Group by kakumeizenya

Ship(s): Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson/Neville Longbottom

Rating: T

Summary:

Inspired by the song "thanK you aIMee" from the new Taylor Swift album, Harry Potter summoned his friends to an emergency gathering (read: school reunion) at his house. Little did he know someone was there to record their conversation and posted it all online on a juicy gossip blog! Will you click on this? Or will you respect their privacy and scroll away?

🖌 The If Only by OnTheMerits

Ship(s): James Potter/Regulus Black, Sirius Black & Regulus Black, Sirius Black & James Potter

Rating: M

Summary:

Does it feel alright to not know me? // I'm addicted to the if, only.

Regulus is a feather taken by the wind, a deranged weirdo, and a dead man walking.

But that doesn't stop him from looking in on the life he could have had.

𓇢𓆸 I Can Handle Me a Dangerous Man by shewritesmaybe and @steveahoi

Ship(s): Evan Rosier/Barty Crouch Jr.

Rating: E

Summary:

Barty's having the worst day and unfortunately, Evan won't let him kill any of the people responsible. Instead, Evan takes him apart bit by bit. He handles his dangerous man, all right.

Pissing off Evan is half the game. When Barty’s pissed off - at work, at his boss, at his father, at the world - and Evan’s pissed off too, and that’s fun. A distraction. A way to cover up the hurts of the day.

‘Cause when Evan was pissed, he punished Barty since Barty usually was the one who pissed him off, and when Barty got punished, he forgot what set everything off in the first place. Got to focus on the pain he was choosing to accept from Evan instead of the pain that anger couldn’t always cover, pain he couldn’t shake in every other miserable segment of his life. That meant something, you know?

**************

Thanks again, and be sure to peruse the full collection on ao3!  🩶 Your mods, @wolfpadx @multiimoments @heartsoncover @lemonlans @mercurial-witch @steveahoi damagecontrol & shewritesmaybe

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

I’m writing a longer fic about Ascended Astarion and an evil Durge, and this flash of a scene came to me for their redemption and spawn counterparts. The corresponding moment in the other fic is all angst, so I let the muse go when it wandered the other way and this fell out.

Durge and Astarion are cuddling in the Elfsong post-game, chatting about garlic and redemption. There’s some dissociation but they’re helping each other. That’s it. A moment of grace.

———

“Rise and shine, love.”

The last light of dusk glowed beyond the heavy curtains at the window. It was nearly time for Astarion to rise, and Killian was already at his side, ready to entice him back to the world of the living. When Astarion’s eyes fluttered open, Killian straddled him.

“Fancy a little breakfast?” he asked, a wistful sort of grin on his lips as he threw his head back, preening, exposing his neck. “I promise I haven’t eaten any garlic. Or shallots. No alliums at all, to be safe. A terribly flavourless diet. But worth it, for you.”

Astarion’s smile was also lazy, hands rested at Kill’s hips. The weight might have felt oppressive, but his solidness and body heat instead felt… more than warm. Comforting. Like when he was caught beneath him, he would always be safe.

“I don’t have to feed from you every night, you know,” Astarion said, thoughtful. It wasn’t an unfamiliar or unpleasant way to be woken up, but recently it had been accompanied by a bothersome pang in the back of his mind. “You can take a break. Have a meal you’ll really enjoy for once.”

He didn’t think it was guilt, really— Killian offered his blood up freely, had changed his diet of his own volition to better suit Astarion’s needs. It was… perplexing. Confounding. Exhilarating. It was the feeling of being taken care of, and after centuries of nothing but suffering, it was a feeling he had for a long time clung to selfishly. But now… now, he found himself wishing for more. To be able to take care of Killian, too.

Kill shifted, not the delicious roll of his hips Astarion might have expected, but something more demure. His eyes flicked away, focusing on something just beyond Astarion. “I probably wouldn’t eat them anyway. Shouldn’t. I shouldn’t really eat anything more than I need to survive, with food so scarce still, I don’t deserve…”

Astarion ran his hands up Killian’s sides, took grip just below his shoulders and pulled him a fraction closer, so he would put his attention back on him. Their eyes met, Astarion’s gaze fierce. “You deserve pleasure, my love. You deserve to enjoy your life. How can you keep punishing yourself? You saved the city, the world— what more can anyone ask of you, as far as redemption goes?”

Killian blinked, as if holding Astarion’s gaze was almost painful, then hung his head so he didn’t have to. “I saved the world from a threat I created. That’s not heroic, it’s— it’s worse than evil. Manipulative, for me to expect anything from anyone for something like that. Like if Cazador had demanded you thank him for deciding not to torture you—”

“He did do that. All the time,” Astarion said, teeth clenched. “Don’t you ever compare yourself to Cazador. You’re nothing alike.”

Killian was far away. He went somewhere else, sometimes, either when he was trying to remember who he had been, or when he was trying to forget. Astarion liked to think it was the same place he went sometimes, or if not the same place, at least a neighbouring one.

“I don’t know,” Killian whispered. “We have so much in common. Killed so many people, and expected glory and reward for it. Enjoyed it. Did he enjoy it, do you think?”

Astarion sucked in a deep breath and held onto it. Killian wasn’t really thinking, wasn’t really asking, he knew — wherever he was it was beyond them both. That was the point. But it still picked at Astarion and twinged with the pain of a fresh scab thoughtlessly disturbed.

“He didn’t lose any rest over it the way you have, I promise you,” Astarion said. The weight above him was starting to bear down, even though Killian had not moved a muscle. His fingers twitched with the impulse to push.

Killian drew back and rolled off of him, coming to rest at Astarion’s side. Astarion felt better instantly, the air cool around them, but his chest tightened. Killian was back now, this version of him always so attentive to his needs, and he hummed with anxiety beside him.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Bad example.”

“Cazador never loved anyone but himself,” Astarion said. “He saved my life when he turned me, and demanded an eternity of torment as payment. You couldn’t be more different.”

Killian wondered at that, thinking of Vellioth’s rules— of a young Cazador, impaled for eleven years for the crime of having a friend. He wondered if Cazador had been capable of love once, before it had been stamped out of him. He wondered what punishments Bhaal had inflicted on him to mould him into his chosen. Perhaps there had been none. He was a piece of Bhaal’s own flesh after all. Maybe he had taken to it naturally.

His skin crawled, goose flesh prickling on his arms, and somehow he knew it wasn’t quite like that. He looked sidelong at Astarion, his heart aching as he recalled that night tied up and writhing in the shadow-cursed lands, and somehow he knew— knew that Bhaal must have been an even crueller master than Vellioth. More insidious, because he was also sure that eventually he had been eager to please.

Astarion propped himself up on one arm and reached out, a gentle brush of fingertips to Kill’s jaw. “You’re thinking about it. Stop. It doesn’t matter who you were before, or what you did. All that matters is now. And now, you are impossibly, frustratingly good. And I love you.”

“Not good,” Killian said, turning to look at Astarion, miserable. “Just trying.”

“Trying is even better,” Astarion said with the confidence of a student reciting a lesson recently learned. “You’re no Wyll or Karlach, bounding off to naively save orphans because you were born some kind of damn hero. You know more about what they’re up against— how seductive it all can be— than they ever could. And you choose to help anyway. That has to count for something.”

Kill smiled thinly. He wasn’t so convinced that guilt was a worthy motivator for good deeds, but perhaps it was something he could learn to believe for Astarion’s sake too. He reached up to take hold of Astarion’s hand and leaned into the touch. “I love you, too.”

“Good,” Astarion said. “Now, I think they’ve just started dinner service downstairs. Steamed mussels in butter and wine sauce. Toasted bread. Lots of garlic. Go. Enjoy yourself.”

Killian squeezed Astarion’s fingers then reached up to cup his neck and pull him into a kiss. Chaste, but firm, a simple and sweet gesture that left Astarion’s lips tingling when Killian pulled away.

“Thank you.”

Astarion smirked. “You’re welcome. You deserve it. Just… remember to brush your teeth after. I might want to do that a bit more when you’re done.”

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, replies are under the cut!

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for putting everything everything under the cut. It helps a lot :)

"Yes, the blatant ignoring of his actual lines is what gets me. :)) " That's the most annoying part about it isn't it? The game is very blatant about it being the bad ending for him but they completely ignore all the signs. Astarion himself literally says thank you for helping him break the "cycle of power and terror" (not kidding, he uses those exact words) which is a bit hilarious as it pretty much shows you the fact that the writers didn't fully trust part of their audience to get the message, so they decided to spoon-feed them to be 100% sure, just in case. Still, it didn't work! Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

It gets even funnier though. When you explore Cazador's palace and dungeon you'll find his former master's (Vellioth) skull. It will tell you the rules of vampiric existence, the most relevant ones being to always dominate and allow no one to be your equal & to not share power with others as sharing means you are weak, and being weak means to die. It's pretty much what Astarion tells you in act 1 about true vampires not wanting to create a possible competitor. You'll also find some more insight into Cazador's life as a spawn. He was treated and abused just as badly as Astarion was, if not worse. At some point Cazador tried to reach out to a friend of his only for Vellioth to find out about it and punish him by draining his friend dry in front of him. He also tried to rebel against his master and was punished for it by being impaled for 11 years.

If you go and fight Cazador without Astarion in your party, you can cast Detect Thoughts on him while he is trying to heal himself in his coffin after the initial fight. You'll find out Cazador grieves his current existence ("the monster that will not end") and longs for the boy and the man he once was. He may have taken the all the power and his former's master place, but it still ended up trapping him in this cycle of neverending abuse and terror, a cycle that has been repeating for centuries with all the vampire lords and those who managed to take their place. It's a very sad situation.

Everything is very much a foreshadowing of what will happen if Astarion ascends. But do the wives care? No. It simply doesn't apply to their vampire boyfriend, because...reasons. There is also the irony of ascending Astarion just so he could enjoy and not burn in the sun anymore after the tadpole is gone and him telling you he plans to cover the world in darkness (thus block out the sun) anyway for his future spawn...

And look, I'm all for people interpreting a piece of media however they want but there are certain instances where both the text and the context are extremely clear and to come up with the opposite message and insist that is the right one is bizarre, if not deluded. Sometimes yes, there is more vagueness and one can reasonably come up with multiple and equally valid interpretations (and there are a few cases in this game, I'd argue) but that's not always true. This goes for everything really, not just this game.

I guess this is just further proof that, if someone has the predilection towards delusion and exaggerated fiction escapism, it doesn't matter how explicit you make the message. It's not going to stand in the way of their mental gymnastics. It definitely a case of shoehorning some kink fantasy into this (or any) story and closing the metaphorical eyes and ears to make it work. Which, like you said, each to their own, but it's so annoying to see someone actually try to defend that position without a shred of self-awareness. :))

I do feel really bad for Astarion's psyche, though, he's probably the character with the most amount of baggage. Like, can you imagine the roller coaster of emotions of being kidnapped by mind flayers, waking up in the sun after centuries, going over the initial shock of somehow not burning alive, then finding out there is a real possibility that you're about to turn into a squid person any day now? You can't even enjoy being away from your eldritch tormentor without worrying about tentacles sprouting from your face and losing your sense of personhood, being replaced with god knows what. You're all alone, have limited survival potential on your own and thus feel the need to make sexual passes at the group leader in hopes that they'll keep you around, if only as a sex toy, because some shelter is better than no shelter, so what if you have to sell your body for scraps again? It's not like anything you haven't done before. Ngl, I would have lost my marbles. :)) I guess this is why I'm more forgiving of Astarion's condescension than I am of Gale mansplaining the Weave to my wizard tav. :))

I have to say, I recently saw a little clip of Auntie Ethel hurling personalized Vicious Mockery insults at various character and her lines for Astarion were "is that rat I see between your teeth, slave" or something akin to him deep down actually enjoying being leashed. ☠ Took me out fr! Ethel did NOT come to play!

By the way, I'm sorry if I spoiled too much? I try to leave as many important bits as possible but since you knew so much of this already from your friend and bf, I figure you don't mind. Still, if you do please do tell me.

"Like, if I were going into this blind and let him ascend for the lols, I would immediately go back to an earlier save because I couldn’t stand that level of clapback. :)) And, generally-speaking, I wouldn’t let anyone in my camp achieve god-like levels of power because I just don’t think anyone should be entrusted with so much ability. " I do recommend on creating a separate save file for the ascended route if you're romancing him, at least for the sake of exploring the alternative route it offers for his character and the dialogues, but for sure he becomes unbearable as you'll immediately be inclined to go back to an earlier save like you said.

Maybe, but I could NOT stand his pale ass smarming at me. He's here to serve and fight crime, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming!

Also, did you say "god-like levels of power"? Well, I regret to inform you but one of Gale's possible endings is him ascending to…godhood, if you're pushing him in that direction. Not even kidding. It's too bad the game doesn't allow you to put a flag in the center of your camp and write "NO ASCENDING ALLOWED. FOR ANYONE." on it. Maybe someone could make a mod?

Gale is most definitely NOT approaching godhood in any capacity. I could not STAND this mediocre white man overpowering ME!

I am, though, debating on whether I should let Volo perform brain surgery on him. Mayhaps I will!

"But it’s better to convince him against ascending, even if you have to break up with him. Not sure if those things are mutually exclusive, but, at the end of the day, he’s an elf, I’m a human, we have different life spans and couldn’t be together for a long time anyway. :)) " You can convince him against ascending and still keep the relationship. As far as I can remember, he breaks up and leaves the party if you don't help him at all when it comes to deciphering the meaning behind his scars in act 2 (which are tied to the Ascension ritual). He also does it if after you defeat Cazador, you initially say you're going to help him with the ritual (he won't be able to do it by himself at all) but then immediately change your mind at the last moment just when it is about to start.

You do however need to pass a persuasion check to convince him not do it and yes, if you fail it he doesn't ascend AND breaks up with you and leaves the party. There is also a Wisdom/Insight check that, if passed successfully, will tell you the promise of power the intense smell of blood in the air are intoxicating him indicating the fact he doesn't think clearly at the moment.

There is also a scenario where you even end up fighting him, but I don't remember the exact combination of dialogue options that will lead you to this outcome.

Thanks for the tip! I knew having high charisma would come in handy eventually.

The wives cling to the persuasion thing and they interpret it as you coercing Astarion into not ascending, but I think that's missing the mark entirely as persuading someone in this game doesn't equal coercion. Characters being opened to persuasion usually means they have an open mind, that they are capable of changing their opinion when you show them a better alternative. That's not the same thing as manipulation.

Even if it were manipulation, I'd still do it for his own good. Dumbass needs all the help he can get. 😂

Oh, good that you mentioned your Tav being human. There was an insane take about this a while go when some wife legit said you are being cruel to him by romancing him with a human due to their short lifespan...like how could you do this to him? Other wives even think you are ableist and get angry if you want to cure his vampirism, by the way. I would also add that in D&D there are various possibilities to extend your character's lifespan. Of course, the game doesn't offer you this but it's something that could happen within the universe. I personally like the angst mortal/immortal ships have so I chose not to headcanon something like this though.

Glad to know I have already joined the ranks of his abusers. 💪 Us antis got to stick together!

ABLEIST because you want to cure him of his vampirism.............that's wild :))))))))) How about I cure him of that and the price is that he'll get to live the remainder of his life in human years.... because I am NOT spending an elf eternity with that man. 🤙 A century is more than enough.

The Tav I romanced him with was also human…and so is my second Tav actually. I'm usually one of those boring ones who plays human characters even if the game lets you be something else.

IKR! Not bothering with other races, my imagination does not swing in that direction. :))

"I showed this to my boyfriend and we joked about buying the Zara Astarion!knock-off shirt. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from laughing, so the whole cosplaying element would be for nothing. 😂 And I agree, I don’t…….. get…….. humanoid sex dolls, but spending so much money on a literal waifu pillow is " Lmao if you pair that Zara shirt with some leather pants, then find a silver haired wig you could have your own Astarion. It could make for a nice outfit for Halloween!

Agree though, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing either.

The wives also spent a fair amount money on this figurine by the way (warning! very nsfw https://www.gkcollectors.com/products/god-pan-studio-the-pale-elf ) Not kink shaming anyone but come on lmao.

What on god's green earth!!!! Why does his cock look like a fat worm!!!! Why did they give him that cringe expression!!! 😭

I sometimes wonder if the Snapewives were this insane about their guy. It's a pity I wasn't in the HP fandom back then so I can't compare them.

Oh, the Snapewives could give them a run for their money! They built literal altars and were imagining themselves in real astral marriages.

"Yeah, I’m gonna summon the ogres in the goblin camp, too, thanks for the tip against this boss. I’m hoping the ogres will die in battle, but, if not, I’ll kill them myself to get that Circlet. " When I summoned them I had Astarion get (while hiding behind some wall I think) as close as possible to Dror Ragzlin while the rest of the party was farther away because I didn't want the game to drag everyone else into the fight. I then had him sound the horn. The ogres appeared and started to fight Dror and his minions and when most of the participants in the battle were dead or close to dying, I then dragged the whole party into the fight and simply finished everyone off. It did took me a few tries in the beginning because Astarion ended up being spotted, but it was worth it.

For some reason, the ogres did not show up for me in Dror's throne room, no matter how many times I sounded the horn. So I ended up summoning them in the courtyard, then, by the end, moved Mirta towards Lump and moved Lae'zel away. Then, while mid-conversation with Mirta, I switched to Lae'zel and Lump was dead after a couple of smacks. So I got my hands on the Circlet of Intelligence. Plus Auntie Ethel's hair, I can basically dump INT to 8 and still get INT 18. But I'll wait until after the Creche because I want the Gloves of Dexterity, too, so that I can dump DEX as well in my reclass. Tank!Mirta incoming!

I'm also thinking I'm ready to change the difficulty to medium now (I heard I can do this mid-game). The goblin battles weren't really challenging on easy and I am intrigued by multiclassing, which I can not do on easy. Dror, for example, was SO easy to kill, I just put Lae'zel and Karlach nearby and they made quick work out of him, he was gone by the third turn max. Elixir of Bloodlust on Karlach is insane.

"I tried but after Astarion reads it, it will not open for me anymore. Also, I’m sorry to report that giving him the book only got me a +5 approval rating. 😅 I’m currently at 39, so I’m gonna bring him with me to the goblin camp, too." It will only work on the party member who took the book initially. If you gave it to him back in the cellar, only him and no one else (including your character) will be able to benefit from the bonus it will offer. Ah, I think I misremembered the bit about receiving +10 approval if you give him the book. Still, +5 is still a high number. By the way, once you hit 40 approval rating he should propose you to sneak off and sleep with him at night...you are not far away from that. If he doesn't then don't worry, you can still do it at the party.

So I did a little reading and realised the goblin camp was a rich field of easy approval points for Astarion (and for Lae'zel and Karlach, too), that I just had to re-do it. During my first run, I didn't really stop to talk to all the goblins and missed many opportunities. And I didn't really even have to do anything evil, just chaotic and dumb, like flinging worg dung at the guards. Also, there is a barn in the Blighted Village where an ogre and a bugbear are having sex. If you go there BEFORE entering the goblin camp and let Astarion interrupt them*, you get 5 bloody approval points in one go. Crazy. After that, he made his advances towards Mirta and then the sex scene triggered when I hit long rest.

*you will have to separate yourself form the rest of your party and just knock with him at the door

"I did hear that Minthara was funny, which is why I’m interested in having her in my camp. A shame that Halsin is so boring! For a sex bear you’d think he’d be more LOL?" He is tied to a major quest in act 2 but other than that...yeah they didn't bother at all with giving him something else to do in act 3 besides sex and complaining about the city (he also has some fans that can be very annoying in their defense for his character). It's a pity because he had more potential as a character. Even Minthara who although wasn't intended either to be a companion either, still has something else going on considering she has a past with one of the main villains.

If nothing else, Halsin will be nice to have for some added flavour and the ability to play with a druid. Minthara, too, because she is a paladin and I have none in my party. Pity you can't make Volo a companion!

"Love to hear that she dunks on Gale, man’s become bottom tier in my companion list alongside Shadowheart. " When you recruit Minthara, Gale is like "I suspect a heart of gold lurks beneath her appearance" & "once she gets to know me I'm sure she'll open up, she just needs someone to listen." And she literally is like "LMAO, no!" I lowkey like them as a crackship though, this guys does need someone like her to put him into his place.

I am so looking forward to hear her dunking on Gale.

Shadowheart still hasn't grown on you? :( Such a pity. At least she tried, I suppose?

It's the obsession for her shitty god and the fact that she misses every single sacred flame I select. 😂 You need A LOT of patience with her to get past her eyerollish Shar worship and her mean emo girl shtick. I know she has a backstory and was probably kidnapped and brainwashed by Shar cultists, but, my god, the attitude!

Funnily enough, I think her and Lae'zel have many traits in common - rudeness, blind fanatical faith in something, arrogance etc - but Lae'zel is fr my fave.* I just find her so funny, inappropriate and extra, in a way Shadowheart isn't. We were in the Grove after defeating the goblins and, imprompted, she told a tiefling child he should get over himself because at his age she had already killed???? her own cousin???? girl fr who asked 😭🙏

(only surpassed by Karlach, because she is... basically perfect, but so sweet it's very easy to like her)

Frustratingly enough, Lae'zel and Karlach have me at the lowest approval ratings in the party :)) 31 and 29, respectively. But we'll do the creche next, so I'm hoping they'll grow.

"His reveal about him being Mystra’s lover just gave me the ick - that’s such a story only a MAN could tell. Becoming the buttboy of a goddess who couldn’t give two shits put together about you (otherwise why wouldn’t she help him with his current condition) is soooooo lame. Also he came off much too eager about Raphael’s offer which is another dumb man take. I get that he’d want to get rid of his weave problem, but he only has himself to blame for that in the first place. We’re NOT vibing atm." Lmaoo don't ever tell this to the Galewives, they absolutely hate Mystra's guts as they believe she is his groomer. It's very debatable if she really could be called a groomer in the first place, to me it always seemed like those fans only want to absolve Gale of any responsibility. It's very much HIS fault and no one else's as to why he ended up with that condition. Like you said, he only has himself to blame. Truly. I also agree, him considering Raphael's deal is a dumb man take. Even Astarion didn't agree.

Yes!!! Thank you!!! And, in any case, I think you can fight Raphael even if you didn't take his deal, so I'm not missing out on anything.

I think Mystra is equally lame for cavorting with (and discarding) a human like that, but groomer? Let's bffr.

The Galewives also think Gale is autistic coded and if you hate on him too much, you might being ableist yourself. Lol. Of course, they are not as bad as the Astarionwives with their buffoonery but you still have to be careful about what you say about him. Defending Mystra in any shape or form is guaranteed to trigger them. The good thing about them is they don't delude themselves with "but God Gale is his actual good ending" like the Ascendedwives do with their husband. Now that I brought this up, I actually do remember one discussion where an Ascendedwife was trying to defend Gale becoming a god because "he says he wants to!" and paint it his good ending, only for a Galewife to show up and be like STFU you clown.

Gale is NOT autistic coded, what the hell? If anything, he is privileged rich kid coded.

"I hadn’t even considered period blood fics, my goodness. =))))))))))))) I mean, if I were to entertain this train of thought, this is a fictional realm, why wouldn’t period blood count? It’s magically-infused by being associated with fertility and the like! Think, wives! “Lacking the proper nutrients”, my arse. " There are people who are into this kind of thing in real life but it's apparently too gross for a fucking vampire lmao.

He's been eating RATS until recently, how could this be more gross 😂

I also regret to inform you, but the latest period blood discourse (which originated on Reddit, mostly as an unserious, shitposting thing and surprisingly not something the wives provoked) has breached containment. Someone had the bright idea a few days ago to ask Astarion's writer about it on Twitter. Thankfully, he refused to use his powers as a writer to give an answer and said he will let the debate to rage on. Seriously now, I do find this a bit...embarrassing? I've always hated it when fans go to the writers and the actors to have their headcanons or interpretations confirmed since they obviously want that just so they could dunk on other fans. Just let people imagine whatever they want.

Yeah, it can quickly delve into inappropriateness, but it can also be shitposting idk :)) Gotta judge it on a case-by-case basis. The writer refusing to reveal whether period blood is nourishing for vampires in BG3 is kind of hilarious, though.

"Thank you! I’m currently debating about what to do with the missing shipment. I feel bad about killing Rugan and Olly after I’ve JUST saved them from gnolls, but the Zhentarim sound like major arseholes, so I’m contemplating just playing nice until I can trade/loot them, then killing them in their hideout. But if I spare Rugan and Olly now, won’t I just end up killing them in the hideout? Seems like the same outcome. I wish I’d get an persuasion check to convert them or something. Or at least Olly, as Rugan seems to be more shady. Although he was very nice to me after I saved his skin!" Yeah, the Zhentarim are majos assholes. I initially opened the shipment myself but still ended up going to an earlier save (I lost like 3 hours of gameplay) as I found out it will lock you out of having access to some very unique items from their merchant. You also get a nice crossbow as a reward if you return the shipment intact without opening it to their leader. You can still choose to attack everyone afterwards (and get the shipment back, if you REALLY want to find out its contents), although it isn't required and you can leave them in peace (you may want to explore their hideout anyway as there are some chests out there with unique items). Also no, you can't choose to spare Olly if you decide to turn on everyone. Either way, I wouldn't worry too much about this quest, its outcome doesn't matter in the long run at all.

I did get Harold and managed to trade with the merchant. I tried to make the painter make a portrait of Astarion, as I figured it would be a nice gift for him to be able to see himself, but I could only free him. (Of course, Astarion disapproved both that and me giving him money for the road).

I think I completely forgot about the shipment though! That cave is so big and I kind of lost myself picking up everything from the ground, so I don't really know where it is? Or if I can go back? Was it where Zarys was standing?

Anonymous asked:

BG3 anon again! I put together a few crazy screenshots of the wives being insane as I figured out you may want to get a laugh. :)) I didn't want to put this in my previous message as I don't want to attract any negative attention to your blog.

Link: https://imgur.com/a/wives-being-insane-lDwQwi2 (I hope it works)

This is barely 1% of the shit they say, sadly. Also, I was careful to not put any spoiler-y stuff that you may not know about yet, but yes they can be even more unhinged than this. The first and the most recent one is personally my favorite, the wife there dropped quite the gem about GRRM who, according to her, did not convey any message in his work…I fear I may never get this quote out of my head. Wives, please leave ASOIAF alone!!! We don't want even more craziness over here.

Thank you for this, I passed it to my own group chat for a good laugh. the wife declaring that the message of ASOIAF is "Winter is coming" tells me everything I need to know about their media comprehension skills. :))

The Gale scene where he tries to teach you about magic triggers for everyone once you hit a certain approval with him, it's not because you flirted with him before. You did well by choosing the imagine a hearty meal together option, that should lock you out of romancing him (although you'll have a second chance at the party if you want flirt with him there).

Phew! I even had Lae'zel come onto me unprompted at the goblin camp. With 30-ish level approval!! She's crazy lol. She gave me the "I want to taste you" line. Before that, she asked Astarion at the waypoint why he hadn't attempted sleeping with her. After he slept with Mirta!! Lae'zel!!! 😂

I won't say anything about the dream guardian…that's too much of a spoiler and trust me it's better to not find out anything about this one.

Yeah, I just made the decision that I don't want to have the Illithid menu activated, even if nothing will happen if I just take 1-2 tadpoles. But, for RPG reasons, we're doing all of this shit to get rid of them, why would I add more of them, you know?

Tbh Astarion's flirting is super cringe, I honestly don't get how so many of the wives get so horny at his lines. Or why they like this side of him so much. He sounds like a third rate pickup artist.

Right?? It would work so much better if he took it down a notch or two. Atm it's mainly pantomime. I nearly gagged when he talked about "our mutual ecstasy".

As long as you knock out Minthara she should show up in one piece later at Moonrise Towers in act 2. Also yes, you don't have to get her to be temporarily hostile anymore. Just initiate the fight. Make sure though you take out the war drum and the scrying eye, otherwise reinforcements will show up.

Again - as long as you knock her out you are good to go. Speaking with her before meeting Halsin shouldn't matter, but just don't take him with you in your party when you go to her. Having him in your party will also turn the entire goblin camp hostile automatically, so you may want to keep it in mind. Most players knock her out at the goblin camp but there is also the option to pretend you are her ally, show her the grove's location, take a long rest and then betray her once she shows up at the location. You can knock her out there as well during the fight. Both options work but doing it at the goblin camp is much easier since it's one battle less. It's also safer since during the siege you risk getting her killed by one of the tieflings if you are not careful.

I managed to knock her out and free Halsin so fingers crossed!

Don't worry about the other messages, you can answer them when you want. I don't mind.

💚

Anonymous asked:

You must have done the deed and let him bite you I guess...if you already have him at 74 approval!

Yesssssssss, I let him interrupt the barn sex between the bugbear and the ogre and that was so alluring for him he couldn't stand one minute longer without Mirta so he propositioned. And ofc I "offered him my neck" during intercourse, those are free points right there! 😂 74 points I got after finishing the goblin camp, a lot of free +1s over there that stack up + getting Loviatar's Blessing ofc.

But that's good, it means you really are on your way to become a real wife, although I hope you won't be a Snapewife type like so many of them are. Just kidding, I know you won't lol <3

Building him an altar in camp as we speak! 😂

Short story: there was some discourse in the fandom this week (I won't go into detail right now because it's a long story and it's better to put it under a "keep reading" post, just in case lol) but a wife "accidentally" got involved in some of the drama and lo and behold...she was one of those types who believes she's in a real relationship with the guy. They recently celebrated their three months anniversary. So happy for them! Now seriously...we may very well be on our way to a Snapewives 2.0 revival!

Oh god, well, it was only a matter of time, was it?

I also took a look at HOTD Twitter and unsurprisingly, people are still triggered by Helaemond and there is still harassment going on all of it over shipping, so I guess nothing changed over there. Oh and I saw TGC's friends got harassed by his fans. Yikes.

Im Westen Nichts Neues then LOL

Speaking of fans, a Shadowwife (or maybe it was a Shadowhusband) gave her actress a vibrator as a gift lmao. And the box had already been opened.

My friends told me. Wild! Guess shadowwives are throwing their hat in the ring for the title of weirdest micro-fandom.

Hope that chicken schnitzel was good, by the way!!

It was! The heartiest meals are the ones you eat languidly after a long day! :))

[grimaussiewitch]

100 warlock patron pack ideas: part 7

61: You were sentence to death. In your many months of waiting out for your final day, rotting away in a damp cell, a voice called out. A fiend? Litch? Fey? Who knows what. As long as you kill for them, they will let you escape. All of those guards never stood a chance. Neither did your soul.

62: This is your third time your patron has sent you back in time. You’re back with your original level 1 party until you perfectly convert most of your party members to your patrons cause. How did you end up in this situation? You were seeking out for a strong magical mentor and accidentally called upon chuthulu-esq creatures. They can not keep breaking time and space for you or else they’ll break the cosmic world. As punishment for your failure, you are aware that you are back in time but have no clue what the previous timelines were like.

63: You are a bodyguard for hire. You will protect someone for coins. One night, a powerful fiend lord comes into your residence. His child is about to go adventuring and he does not trust them enough to life past day one. A spoil rich brat one might say. Your task is to keep them alive until they retire or the fiend lord feels satisfied in your work. Bonus points if the child doesn’t know of their demon heritage. Bonus bonus they don’t know you were hired to protect them.

64: Please do not make deals with weird slime that hangs out in a dirt hole. Yes they offered you knowledge from what they have seen over the last how many years. But please don’t trust their “dap me up” or their funny little quirks. It may be goopy but it has seen god and you’ll probably see god too.

65: You and your party were fighting a devil. Both you and your enemy go down in critical condition. You drift off into a dream full of flames and a fiend is there. You both know you’re dying, they tell you the only way for either of you to live is for them to be sealed inside you. You’re desperate to live, so you accept. You wake up in a bed surrounded by your team. They are so glad you’re alive. You are not.

66: Your patron has tricked you into believing that you are a special type of cleric or paladin. You are none the wiser. You met them in your dreams and made a deal with them to protect people.

67: You are the chosen one and to fulfil that duty, you had to be sacrificed. In the end you got some cool warlock powers but you’re not free. Your patron demands for you to hunt anyone that will hurt the religion. Little do you know, you’re not the only “chosen one”.

68: You were once a toy that was magically created to be sentient. You resided in an orphanage. Over the years being played with many different children, you wished you could move. You truely wanted to be a real person and look after these kids. When the lights went out for bedtime, a glowing orb appeared in front of you. That is your patron. There was a giant flash of light, then nothing. You felt strange and groggy. Slowly, you realised you could blink, breathe and move your limbs. A real person. In the morning, you greeted the owner of the home and asked for a job. Much to your surprise you got the job! However, it didn’t last forever. Over the next few years, the orphanage wasn’t receiving as much funding or care. Slowly but surely, the orphanage closed down. What do you do now? Welp, that glowing orb came again, explained that it made you real and now you’re it’s puppet. You can freely do whatever you want, but if there’s something that’s needed, you have to listen to your patron. If you fail after one too many times, you can always return back to your original state. A toy.

69: You are literally the worst bard ever. Big cringe fail energy. You’re too lazy to actually improve on your music so just make a bargain with a fiend instead. Who cares, you can make sweet tunes now. Screw having a soul.

70: Mystical angels put you into a death game. You made allies and enemies in that bloody game. But only one could win. After a brutal battle, you were victorious. Crowned the winner of the death game. As your prize, you get to live and have a “guardian angel” as your patron. You did not sign up for that game or this pack. You were forced into it. Now you live with scars and a patron that always watches.

[euphorial-docx]

I would listen to you yap about this and write it down like a court stenographer this is so fascinating

i could talk about it forever.

the whole thing that draws me into that “morally gray guy adopts girl” trope is obviously the idea that a man would not only get to know and want to protect a young girl without ill intent, but also actively choose to parent a her and be present in her life. i feel like that appeals to a lot of people and is why stories with that trope resonates so deeply with a lot of women specifically.

however.

i look at the men around me, the fathers that i know, and even my own father, and i feel that a lot of the time (not all the time, but a lot) they do not make even half of the effort as these fictional men do in stories with this trope.

but let’s disregard the realism of a man taking care of a young girl with only good intentions: there is still a problem of said young girl growing up.

i see women online talking about how their relationship with their father changed once they got older and/or started to resemble their mothers more in their behaviors. it’s something that i also experienced. it’s not uncommon for a distance to be created between a father and his daughter once that girl becomes a woman with her own moral compass, opinions, and agency.

so i think that the “morally gray guy adopts girl” trope could be expanded upon a lot by extending past the girl’s adolescence.

what happens when she becomes an adult? what happens when she can make her own decisions? take care of herself? what happens if she begins to develop behaviors her pseudo-father doesn’t like? what if she realizes she doesn’t like aspects of his personality? what if they disagree on major issues? what if he does things she does not agree with and vice versa?

how would they move past these problems? would they even move past them, or would one of them give up? would the girl realize she’s better off without him? would he realize he doesn’t love the adult version of his pseudo-daughter like he did when she was a kid? would he only truly care for the young version of her, or would he be able to love her as she grows up despite their differences?

these questions become even more important to ask when the world this trope takes place in is a violent one. most of the stories with this trope are apocalyptic or brutal in some way (ie the last of us, the punisher, the walking dead etc etc), and the father figure character oftentimes does really violent and sometimes immoral things to protect this young girl, and i wonder where a line would be drawn in that relationship. at would point would his protection be too much?

i think this trope is very popular for good reason, but there’s only so many movies and shows and video games i can play with this dynamic until i start to think too hard about its longevity within its story.