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inky-writing · 6 months ago

Note

Edward x Adhd reader where he gets so overwhelmed by all of their thoughts and he's just like "you live like this?!" Lol

Hiiii, it took me some time, I really hope you will like it <3

Edward Cullen x ADHD!Reader

Warnings: i am not familiar with adhd so I might have wrote it badly, I had some difficulties with this request :'), maybe some typos, english is not my first langage, ADHD, ...

Word count: 910

You live like this?!

Edward Cullen had always thought of his telepathy as both a blessing and a curse. He could read thoughts at will, navigate social situations more easily, and even protect his family from danger. But when it came to humans, especially the one human who somehow meant everything to him, it was an entirely different matter.

Y/N L/N had wandered into Edward’s life with a chaotic, bright energy that upended everything he thought he knew about himself. She was his mate, his match in every way, yet she was also the most puzzling person he had ever encountered. It wasn’t just her quirky humor or her refusal to treat him like some unattainable vampire god; no, what truly confounded Edward was the storm of thoughts inside her head.

And that storm was relentless.

Edward had long ago learned to tune out the dull hum of human minds, but Y/N? Oh no, he couldn’t tune her out if he tried. It was like stepping into a whirlwind, thoughts spinning at the speed of light, ping-ponging from topic to topic with no discernible pattern. One moment, she’d be silently reciting the lyrics to a song, and the next, she’d be internally debating the merits of grilled cheese versus peanut butter sandwiches as if it were the most important decision of her life.

At first, Edward thought it was endearing. Her mind was vibrant, alive in a way that contrasted sharply with his own still, unchanging existence. But as the weeks went on, Edward began to realize that her thoughts weren’t just chaotic, they were exhausting.

Edward and Y/N sat in the meadow together, sunlight dappling through the trees as Y/N leaned back into Edward’s chest, humming softly to herself. For once, her mind seemed relatively quiet, and Edward allowed himself to relax, enjoying the moment of peace.

That peace, however, didn’t last.

“What if ladybugs have existential crises? What if they’re like, ‘What’s my purpose?’ and then they realize they’re just here to crawl on leaves and look cute? Oh no, what if I stepped on one by accident? Do you think they hate humans?... How do ladybugs even reproduce?!”

Edward blinked, startled out of his reverie as Y/N’s thoughts burst into his mind like an exploding firework.

“What—”

“Reproduction! That’s such a weird word. Why do humans even use it? It’s like, ‘re-produce’? Produce again? Wait, wait, does that mean if you’re a vampire, you don’t—”

“Y/N!” Edward interrupted, his voice half-laughing, half-exasperated.

She turned her head to look up at him, her eyes wide with curiosity. “What?”

“Do you ever stop thinking?” he asked, his tone teetering between astonishment and amusement.

Y/N tilted her head, considering the question. “Not really. Why?”

Edward groaned softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because I can hear all of it.”

That night, the two of them were sitting in the Cullen family living room. Y/N was nestled in Edward’s lap, idly fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. The rest of the Cullens were out hunting, leaving them alone in the grand, quiet house.

Edward tried to read a book, but Y/N’s thoughts were unusually loud tonight.

“I wonder what Alice is doing right now. Do you think she hunts deer? Or rabbits? Do vampires even care about meat texture? Like, do deer taste better than mountain lions? Oh my God, I’m starving. Should I get pizza after this? Or tacos? I could make a frozen pizza, but then I’d have to preheat the oven, and that takes forever—”

“Y/N,” Edward said, setting his book aside and giving her a pointed look.

“What?” she asked, blinking at him innocently.

“You’re thinking about pizza,” he said flatly.

“So?”

“Do you realize you’ve thought about at least fifty different topics in the past five minutes?”

Y/N grinned. “That’s… probably true.”

Edward shook his head, exhaling a breath he didn’t need. “How do you even function like this?!”

“Like what?”

“Like this!” He gestured vaguely, as if trying to encompass the entirety of her existence. “Your thoughts... they’re everywhere. Constant. Chaotic. I feel like I’m drowning in them.”

Y/N frowned, her brows furrowing. “Well, yeah. That’s just how my brain works.”

Edward stared at her, his golden eyes wide with disbelief. “You live like this? Every day?”

She shrugged. “Pretty much. Welcome to my brain, babe.”

Edward had heard of ADHD before, of course. But experiencing it firsthand through Y/N’s thoughts was an entirely different matter. He decided to do some research, poring over books and online articles to better understand it. The more he learned, the more he realized just how much she had to navigate every single day.

Her racing thoughts weren’t just random distractions, they were part of how she processed the world. And while they could be overwhelming, they also made her who she was: curious, passionate, and endlessly creative.

The next time Edward felt overwhelmed by Y/N’s mind, he didn’t groan or roll his eyes. Instead, he reached for her hand and gently pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Hey,” she said, looking up at him with a shy smile. “What was that for?”

“For being you,” he said simply.

Y/N beamed, her thoughts momentarily quiet as a wave of affection washed over her.

Edward still didn’t entirely understand what it was like to live with ADHD, but he was determined to try. Because Y/N was his mate, his love, his everything, and if she could handle the storm inside her mind every day, then he could learn to navigate it too.

Even if it meant occasionally hearing about existential ladybugs.

#tumblr #fanfic #fandom #x reader #requests #y/n #reader #x y/n #twilight #edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x y/n #edward cullen x you

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lyn31 · 3 months ago

Note

Making another ask to make a request hehe i hope it's okay with you 🥰 can you pretty please write about mc's early pregnancy stage? (If you're not planing to write it already) Like how would they feel with mc's job as a hunter? I feel like during this time they might have a little argument since zayne probably would want her to take a break from her job the moment they found out y'know since her job is very pyhsical and the risks of harming the baby but mc might be a little bit stubborn about it? imagine her fainting during her mission because of fatigue and how would zayne's reaction to it be? (maybeee just a little tiny bit of angst? but definitely with a happy ending cause i can't handle sad ending, you can add a bit of smut too if you want hohoho) I'm sorry if this is too hard for you to write 😭 anyway thank you for all the amazing stories, i'm looking forward to read more of your writings! 🥰

It ended up being a hurt/comfort 🫶🏻🥹 I never thought I'd write one of these, but then again, that’s what I said the first time I wrote smut 😂

Speaking of smut—I didn’t end up fitting any in. I was thinking maybe it could happen when they get back home. Obviously no sex smut since MC’s still in early pregnancy, but some comfort smut would be nice.

BUT I thought this ending already tied things up with such a great little bow :D

Hopefully you like it! Let me know what you think (good or bad—lay it on me) 💕

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stubborn

Summary

In the aftermath of a close call, you navigate the haze of recovery surrounded by unwavering love—from your partner’s steady care to your sister’s fierce loyalty—until the weight of fear gives way to healing, one quiet moment at a time.

Ao3 link

My Masterlist ✨

Notes

Pairing: Zayne x MC/Reader Hurt/comfort, family feels, early pregnancy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zayne closes his tablet with a soft click, his gaze already on you. He doesn’t say anything. Just looks.

You shut the door a little harder than necessary when you step back into Zayne’s office, the familiar scent of disinfectant and tea grounding you just enough not to explode. He’s still seated at his desk, calm as ever, reading one of his medical cases.

You just finished a call with the HQ.

“They’re not letting me work in the field anymore,” you huff, dropping into the seat across from him. “But if I really want to work, I can be support from base. You know—report duty, logistics, the fun stuff.”

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t give me that look.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he replies mildly, folding his hands like he’s a neutral party in a murder trial. “But if I had, I might’ve said this was predictable.”

“I know it’s not possible,” you groan, tipping your head back. “And I don’t want to be in the field anyway. I’m not trying to hurt our baby.”

He reaches for your hand, which you take immediately.

“But they didn’t have to say it like that,” you go on, toying with his fingers. “Like I’m fragile. Like I need to be wrapped in bubble wrap and locked in a temperature-controlled room.”

“They didn’t say that,” Zayne points out, far too calmly.

“That’s what they meant.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did they also say it in a tone you invented for them?”

You shoot him a look. “You’re very smug for someone who’s supposed to be on my side.”

“I am on your side,” he says smoothly, standing up and walking over to you. “Which is why I’m supporting your decision to, what was it? Rot behind a desk with a highlighter and a clipboard?”

You groan again, burying your face in his stomach. “Don’t remind me.”

He chuckles, then leans down slightly, his cool fingers brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. “They’re not saying you’re useless. You’re not.”

Your hands wrap around him. “I’m not.”

He tilts his head. “Then stop talking like you are.”

You purse your lips, stubborn, but you can’t hold the tension when he leans down, voice dipping just enough to soften the blow:

“You’re still you. Even if you’re not kicking down doors right now.”

That gets a small breath of laughter out of you, even as you lean your head back against the chair again.

“...I’m still going to complain,” you mutter.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Zayne murmurs, brushing a kiss to your temple. “But next time you get assigned report duty, I’ll make tea.”

You glance at him. “...With the good honey?”

He smiles faintly. “Only if you stop acting like being careful is a personal insult.”

You snort.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hum of the squad’s base is a quiet background drone—keyboards tapping, screens flickering, comms static fading in and out. You’re perched at the long center table, elbow-deep in reports you’d rather not be writing, a stylus clutched in your aching fingers.

Tara walks by with a cup of something steaming and suspiciously sweet-smelling. She pauses when she sees you still working.

“You’re aware no one’s asking you to finish all those today, right?” she says, eyeing your growing stack. “Unless you’re aiming for a stress-induced birth.”

“I’m behind,” you mutter, not looking up. “Someone’s gotta get them done.”

“You mean besides the two rookies we literally hired for this?”

“They’re slow.”

“They’re new.”

“They’re too new.”

Tara sips her drink and squints. “You know this is your villain origin story, right? ‘Hunter turns paperwork tyrant after desk job.’”

You give her a withering look. She grins and walks away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, Lara leans in behind you without a sound, placing a small snack packet next to your elbow.

You blink. “What’s this?”

“Protein and fiber,” she says with that calm smile of hers. “You skipped lunch just because your husband isn’t here to give it to you.”

“I did not—”

“You took two bites of toast and drank a coffee.”

You frown down at the packet. “I’m not hungry.”

Lara just squeezes your shoulder. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, you’re rearranging case logs and editing mission summaries—because, of course, no one else formats headers right—and your back is killing you. You stand to stretch when Rose walks in and catches you mid-pose, one hand bracing the small of your spine.

She crosses her arms, already judging you.

“You realize you’re not obligated to be the Association’s unpaid intern, right?”

“I’m just keeping busy.”

“You’re nesting in spreadsheets.”

You glare. “Don’t start.”

“I’m not starting. I’m continuing.”

She tosses a folder onto the desk, tone sharpening just enough to dig in.

“You don’t like this work. You’re not even supposed to be doing it. But you’re acting like if you stop for five minutes, the world’s gonna forget you exist.”

“I’m not—!”

“You are,” she cuts in. “And the worst part is, if I were doing this? You’d be the first to tell me to sit my ass down and breathe.”

You open your mouth, but the only thing that comes out is silence—and a wave of heat rising in your cheeks.

She sighs, more gently now.

“You’re not going to disappear just because you’re slowing down. You’re pregnant, not invisible.”

You drop back into your chair, tense and unwilling to admit she’s right.

Rose lingers a second longer. “You wanna prove something? Prove you can listen for once.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're curled on the couch in the corner of Zayne’s office, tablet propped on your thighs, stylus dancing across the screen as you breeze through another stack of reports.

He’s been pretending to review scans, but he’s mostly been watching you.

“How many reports is that today?” he asks finally, eyes not leaving his tablet.

You don’t look up. “Just a couple.”

“That’s your third ‘couple’ since this morning.”

You sigh, the stylus slowing. “They pile up when no one does them.”

“There are other that can help you as well.”

“They’re busier than me.”

He hums, noncommittal. You recognize that sound—it means he’s noting everything and choosing silence for now.

He stands after a moment, crossing the room without a sound. You expect him to hover, maybe offer tea again. Instead, he crouches in front of you, cool hands gently taking your ankle before you can object.

“Zayne—”

“You’ve been sitting too long,” he says simply, thumb pressing into the soft, swollen flesh near your arch.

You let out a sharp breath—not from pain, but the sudden relief that spreads like warmth through your foot. It’s startling, how much it hurts and soothes at the same time. Like peeling off a pressure bandage you didn’t realize you were wearing.

“I’m fine,” you murmur.

“Mm,” he replies, entirely unconvinced. He keeps working, fingers precise, careful. “Do you want me to stop?”

The ache in your calves pulses in response—a dull throb reminding you of every hour spent hunched over case files and mission logs. You hadn’t meant to ignore your body. You just... forgot.

He moves to your other foot, and when he finds the sore spot along your heel, you twitch slightly.

The moment his fingers start to knead with practiced care, your shoulders sag. The tension there slips loose without permission—like your body had been waiting for someone else to give it the okay to stop.

“You didn’t even stretch today, did you?” he asks.

“I meant to.”

He glances up, expression unreadable—but the way he shifts, drawing your legs into his lap so he can rub deeper along your calf, says everything. You don't protest. You just let your head fall back against the couch cushion, exhaustion seeping out of you in slow waves.

“You’re not helping your case by spoiling me like this,” you murmur, eyes closed.

“You’re not helping mine by pretending you don’t need it.”

He doesn’t say slow down. Doesn’t tell you you’re overdoing it—you’ve heard that enough from everyone else. Instead, he presses his thumb gently behind your knee, finding the tight muscle you didn’t realize was sore, and stays silent.

It makes you feel safe enough to rest your hand on your stomach.

He notices that too.

After a while, he murmurs, “You’re not a machine.” His voice is soft, but there’s steel underneath. “Even machines get maintained.”

You sigh. “Don’t start lecturing. I already got one from Rose.”

“I’m not lecturing,” he replies, moving his hands to your leg. “I’m observing.”

You scoff. “That’s worse.”

He keeps his massage pace steady. “Your body’s telling you to rest. You’re just not listening.”

“Because if I stop, I’ll—” You cut yourself off.

Zayne’s hands still for a second, before he continues again. But he still waits. Doesn’t press.

“I just... don’t want to feel useless.”

“You’re not,” he says simply. “You’re growing a whole human. You’re working harder than all of us.”

You drop your gaze. Your hand drifts to your stomach, and for a moment, a flicker of guilt settles in your chest—before you brush it off.

He touches your knee gently. “And before you say that doesn’t count—it does.”

You exhale, stubborn to the bitter end. “I just want to do my part.”

“You are,” he murmurs. “Even when you’re tired. Even when you’re quiet. You’re allowed to take care of yourself and still be part of everything.”

He stands, smooth and graceful as ever, and disappears into the office kitchenette. A moment later, he returns with a steaming mug and a little packet of dried fruit Lara had slipped you days ago.

You blink. “You kept that?”

He shrugs. “I’m observant, remember?”

He hands you the tea, careful not to say more.

But when you settle against the back of the couch again, sipping quietly, his fingers brush yours—just long enough to remind you he’s still there. Still watching. Still ready to catch you if—or when—you finally fall.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mission had gone smoothly—standard sweep, zero surprises. And just when everyone was ready to head back and clock out, the patrol assignment came in.

You straighten without a second thought. “I’ll come.”

Tara, still adjusting her gloves, pauses. “Come where?”

“On patrol.”

A beat of silence.

Rose levels you with a look. “No.”

You raise a brow. “It’s just a regular route. You said yourself it’s the quietest zone.”

“That’s not the point—”

“I’ve been sitting for days, my legs are cramping, and if I stare at another report I’m going to set fire to the desk.”

Tara mutters, “That’s valid.”

Lara looks at the sky. “Please don’t actually set fire to the desk.”

“I’ll stay in the middle,” you add, like it sweetens the deal. “I’m a support unit. Ranged. I’m not going to be diving into anything.”

Rose folds her arms. “You’re still—”

“Pregnant, yes, I know,” you cut in, already tugging on your jacket. “Not made of glass. I’m not even showing yet. And HQ already approved base-side support, didn’t they?”

“They didn’t mean outside the base,” Rose mutters.

“They didn’t not mean it.”

Everyone looks at you.

You lift your chin, undeterred.

Lara speaks next, dry as ever. “Fine. But you’re in the middle.”

“I was planning to—”

Rose cuts in sharply, “You’re. Staying. In. The. Middle.”

You squint at her. “You’re not the squad leader.”

Lara, hand on her forehead. “You’re staying in the middle.”

You roll your eyes. “Noted.”

Tara snorts, clearly enjoying herself. “I’ll take rear side. Can’t have mom-to-be dodging wanderer guts and ruining her pretty boots.”

“I hate those boots,” you mumble.

“Exactly. That’s how we know you’re tired.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You fall into formation—Rose at the front, Tara flanking rear-left, Lara bringing up the back, and you moving steady in the middle. It’s familiar. Easy. Your steps sync with theirs, your gun balanced at your side, Evol humming at your fingertips.

No one says it out loud, but they’re all subtly adjusting around you. Slower pace. Widened spacing. You catch it—but you let it go.

Because for the first time in weeks, your legs don’t ache from stillness. The air smells like rain instead of hospital antiseptic or your base’s office.

The zone is clean—stray wanderers here and there, nothing your squad can’t handle in their sleep.

You’re tired, sure—but this, you can handle it.

Until the air tears.

It doesn’t start as sound—it’s pressure. Your lungs forget how to breathe a moment before the world bends and tears open.

A Deepspace tunnel splits open in the middle of the street.

“Contact—two o’clock!” Rose snaps, a violet slash coming from her hands already singing through the first thing that crawls out.

You shift, instinct kicking in. Your Evol flashes, syncing instantly to Rose’s—sharpening her edges, accelerating her strikes.

Tara surges forward, intercepting another, and you link to her next, boosting her reflexes mid-movement. Lara flanks right behind with a glowing barrier.

It’s a tight formation. Efficient. You keep your distance, keep your focus. Your hands tremble a little, but you bite it back. One more boost—one more sync—

It starts getting hard to see clearly.

Your head pounds. Your knees buckle, unsteady.

You shift focus again, try to keep up with the flow, but your Evol stutters with jagged pulses, like it’s struggling to hold a signal. The edges of your vision blur.

Something disconnects. You think you hear someone yell your name—

And then nothing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the faint beep of a monitor you hear first. A soft rhythm, too steady to be anything from the field.

Then fingers. Wrapped around your hand, cool yet steady. Anchoring you.

Your eyes flutter open.

White ceiling. Hospital lights. The faint scent of antiseptic.

And Zayne.

His face is the first thing you see—tired, eyes ringed with shadow, but locked on you with absolute focus the moment you stir.

“You’re awake,” he says—relief and fear tangled in his voice.

His voice has that low, careful tone he uses with patients—except it’s thinner now. Strained around the edges.

Before you can say anything, he’s checking you, doctor-mode overriding everything. Fingers at your pulse, brushing against your wrist. A touch to your forehead. Gentle pressure along your wrist.

“No fever,” he murmurs to himself. “Vitals are stable... you fainted from exhaustion.”

You try to speak, but he’s already leaning in, brushing your hair from your face like he needs to see you fully to believe it.

Then, his hand lifts yours, holding it close. His lips press to your knuckles. Then your temple. Then your cheek.

No anger. No lecture. Just that quiet sorrow in his eyes.

“I was scared,” he admits, barely a whisper. “You weren’t waking up.”

Your chest tightens. You try to blink it away, but his hand squeezes yours, grounding you again.

He exhales through his nose, like he’s been holding it in for hours.

“I should be angry,” he says finally, voice low. “But I’m mostly just... terrified.”

You blink at him, throat tight.

“You could’ve gotten hurt. Worse. You and the baby.”

His eyes stay locked on yours, steady now—but not cold. Just bare.

“I know you want to help. I know sitting still drives you mad. But pushing yourself until you pass out—how is that helping anyone?”

Your lips part, but he shakes his head gently, thumb brushing your wrist.

“I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m saying it because I love you.”

You swallow hard, your throat dry and raw. “I didn’t think it would get that bad,” you murmur, voice barely there. “I just… I thought I could still be useful.”

His expression doesn’t shift much, but his thumb stills against your skin. “You are. You always are. But not like this.”

He lowers your joined hands onto the blanket, his other hand trailing along your arm like he’s reminding himself you’re still here. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Least of all to me.”

You look away, eyes burning. “It didn’t feel that way.”

“I know,” he says quietly. “That’s what scares me.”

He leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. His touch is cool, his presence a balm—but beneath it, you feel the way he trembles. Just faintly.

“I need you to take care of yourself,” he whispers. “Not just for the baby. For me, too.”

You nod—slow and aching, the fight bleeding out like water through a cracked glass.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to—”

“I know,” he says, and his voice shakes just enough to break your heart. He lifts your hand again, presses it to his cheek like he needs the anchor just as much.

“I know you were trying your best. But I need you to stop carrying all of it like it’s only yours to hold.”

His eyes meet yours—clear, but so raw. “You’re not alone in this. You never were. So please… stop acting like you have to be.”

You swallow hard. “I just... I didn’t want to be a burden.”

He closes his eyes for a moment, jaw tight, like the words cut deeper than you meant them to.

“You’re not,” he says. No hesitation. “You never have been. Not now. Not before.”

Your throat stings. “Then why does it feel like I am? Like if I stop, if I let go even a little, I’ll just fade into the background while everyone else moves on without me?”

Zayne shifts, leans forward, and rests his forehead against your temple.

“Because you're so used to holding everything up, you don’t know how to not fight for space. Even when no one’s trying to take it from you.”

You breathe in slowly. His scent, the warmth of his skin, the steady thrum of his presence—everything about him quiets the noise in your head just a little.

“I thought I was helping,” you whisper. “I wanted to help.”

“I know,” he says again. “But pushing yourself until you collapse doesn’t help anyone—not me, not the baby, not your squad. And especially not you.”

His hand cups your cheek, thumb brushing under your eye where a tear slips free.

“I don’t need you to be perfect,” he says gently. “I need you to be here.”

Something in you breaks—not with violence, but with mercy. Like something brittle giving way to light.

You nod, a little shaky. “I still want to do better.”

Zayne presses a kiss to your temple. “Then rest. Let yourself breathe. That’s where it starts.”

And this time, when your eyes close again, it’s not from exhaustion—but relief.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake again to the sound of a quiet page turning.

Zayne sits beside you, long legs folded, a medical file in one hand—yours, probably—but his attention snaps to you the second your breathing shifts.

He sets it down. “You’re awake.”

His voice is softer this time. Less strained. The lines around his eyes are still there, but something in them eases.

You blink at him. “You’re still here?”

“I wasn’t planning to leave.” He brushes his fingers over your wrist, like he’s making sure your pulse is still real beneath his touch. “How do you feel?”

“Tired.” Your voice comes out dry and rough.

He nods once. “That’s good.” Then he picks up the glass of water from the side table and offers it to you. His fingers graze yours as you take it—but he don’t pull away immediately.

You pause, then shift your other hand to gently hold his, anchoring it there. Your thumb brushes over his knuckles, light but deliberate. He squeezes your hand in return.

“It means you’re listening to your body, not fighting it.” His lips twitch, just a little.

You exhale before taking a slow sip of the water, letting the coolness ease the rasp in your throat. His hand stays in yours.

When you lower the glass, you don’t let go.

And for the first time in hours, you feel more at ease.

Zayne’s thumb brushes lightly across your knuckles—once, twice. Then, gently, he says, “Rose and Caleb are here. With the twins. They’ve been waiting outside—Rose didn’t want to crowd you unless you were ready.”

You go still. “The twins?”

“They were very insistent about seeing their favorite aunt.”

You arch a brow. That’s your line—he usually waits for you to say it, then replies with, “their only aunt.”

But this time, he says it for you.

And something about that—gentle, unexpected—makes a strange, delicate flutter rises in your chest.

Tender. Fragile. But steady.

Hormones, yup, that’s why.

“Can I see them?”

Zayne leans in, kisses your forehead, brushes your hair back with careful fingers. Then he steps into the hallway. A few quiet murmurs follow. The door opens.

Rose is the first to step in.

She looks... fine. Hair tied up, usual jacket slung over her arm, lips pressed into a flat line. But her eyes linger too long on the monitor beside you. Her fingers twitch at her side like she wants to check the IV, double-check your vitals—anything to do something. Instead, she stops at the foot of your bed.

“You look like shit,” she says, dry as ever.

“Thanks,” you rasp, voice hoarse.

Rose exhales. Shoulders sink. “I mean. You scared the hell out of us.”

You open your mouth, but she holds up a hand. “Let me get through this without crying yet.”

Caleb enters with the twins—both wide-eyed and quiet for once, clinging to his hands. They’re three now, just tall enough to peek over the bed railing. Caleb gives you a small smile, nods once—like we’ll talk later—and steps aside.

“I shouldn’t have let you come on patrol,” Rose says, voice quieter now. “Even if it was routine. Even if nothing was supposed to happen. You’re my twin. My squadmate. I knew you weren’t at full strength. I just...” Her breath stutters. “I just thought if I said no, you’d push harder. And I didn’t want to be the bad guy.”

You swallow. “I wanted to be there.”

“I know.” She folds her arms, eyes wet. “But I should’ve been the one to stop you anyway.”

“You tried,” you say. “You did more than anyone. I just—” Your voice cracks. “I didn’t want to be left behind.”

Rose’s expression finally breaks. She moves toward you, voice shaking. “You’re not behind. You’re with us. And you always will be. Just—don’t do that again, okay? Don’t scare me like that.”

You reach for her at the same time she leans in. Arms wrap around each other tight—shaky, unsteady, clinging like you're both trying to fix something that cracked open between you. Her forehead presses to your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out.

“Me too.”

That’s when the twins—silent up to this point—decide they’ve had enough of being observers.

They scramble up the bed, climbing over your legs like determined little puppies, wedging themselves between you and Rose, their small arms trying to hug both of you at once.

And then they’re crying. Loud and messy and confused.

“Mommy’s crying,” your niece says, and your nephew wails, “Why is Auntie sick—stop being sick!”

Rose laughs through a sob, pulling them in tighter. “She’s okay, baby. She’s okay now.”

It’s a mess of limbs and tears and sniffles on the bed, and for a moment, the whole room is soft with the sound of people trying to breathe again.

At the side of the room, Zayne stands with Caleb, arms loosely crossed, watching the scene unfold.

“Should we hug it out too?” Caleb murmurs, glancing sideways.

Zayne gives him a bland look. “No.”

Caleb grins and then sighs, dramatic. “I thought we had something, Zayne. Where’s my love?”

Zayne doesn’t even blink. “Buried somewhere beneath your need for theatrics.”

“Ouch,” Caleb mutters, clutching his chest like he’s been personally wounded. “Ruthless. No wonder your patients love you—you leave just enough emotional damage for a lasting impression.”

Zayne exhales through his nose, gaze drifting back to the bed where the tangle of you, Rose, and the twins is still unfolding—small hands clinging, Rose’s face pressed against your shoulder, the kids hiccuping their tears into your sides. The corner of his mouth pulls, barely, almost a smile.

Caleb watches him for a moment longer, then, softer. “...Glad she’s okay.”

Zayne doesn’t say anything to that. Just nods once.

And that’s when Caleb pulls out his phone. He doesn’t even hide it.

“I’m taking a picture.”

Zayne lifts an eyebrow, but doesn’t stop him.

“For the photo wall,” Caleb says, angling it just right. “Or the ‘look at your chaotic emotional legacy’ folder for when they’re teenagers. Whichever comes first.”

He takes the picture with the absolute stealth of a dad used to capturing chaotic moments.

Zayne watches, quiet. But this time, when the screen captures your face mid-laugh, he doesn’t look away.

Your hand in Rose’s hair. Little fingers tangled in yours. Tears drying slow on your cheeks. A smile caught between sobs, still glimmering. The moment is already saved.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes

This week is just serious week I guess... Are we all just in our period? Is that why? Cuz I am.... 🫠😂 Joking aside, hope y'all enjoy it! 🫶🏻🥹

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amsznn · 1 year ago

Note

can you do a first time with matt? they’re not together yet but really like each other and hang out together a lot kinda vibe. she goes on a date with another guy to get her mind off of matt and when her date tries to take her home with him and have a one night stand, she’s super into it but then freaks out because she doesn’t feel safe and comfortable with the guy. the date kinda gets frustrated with the reader because she “led him on.” so she asks matt to come and pick her up and she breaks down and tells him everything. she explains that she wants that kind of intimacy with someone so bad but she’s embarrassed and has so much trauma that she needs to feel really safe and comfortable with whoever she crosses that line of intimacy with. basically matt asks her if she’s comfortable with him and she asks him to be her first? he’s SO sweet during sex with her, MAJOR praising towards the female and really passionate and intimate. i’m really wanting/envisioning a side of matt during sex that’s very very sweet and comforting, yet a little dominant and sensual at the same time! but definitely gentle with her since it’s her first time and TAKES HIS TIME WITH HER??? like how sweet would that be you know??? BEGGING YOU FOR THIS. 🤍🤍🤍 love your writing :)

NOTHING LIKE YOU - m. sturniolo

warnings: slight cursing, SMUT (don’t read if you’re uncomfortable), p in v, soft dom!matt

A/N: thank you for the request, hopefully i wrote it how you were imagining. again if you want me to fix anything lmk! <3

“going somewhere?”

you heard a familiar voice call out behind you. you turned around to see matt, your best friend standing in the doorway as you attempted to zip up the black silk dress you were planning on wearing.

“believe it or not, i am going on a date.” you watched his reaction through your mirror, not sure of what to make of it. but ultimately matt just put on a small smile before making his way towards your figure.

“who’s the lucky guy?” he asked before assisting you in zipping up the dress. you didn’t miss how his hands lingered for more than a few seconds, or how his eyes traveled all the way down your body, admiring you.

you simply shrugged off his question. “ill tell you if it becomes anything serious.” grabbing your purse off your bed side table, you took one final look at your appearance, deeming it was good enough. “i’ll see you later okay? don’t wait up.” you said as you grabbed your house keys.

before you could make your exit, matt swiftly pulled you by the waist, bringing you into a secure hug. “what’s up with you?” you asked amused while circling your arms around his torso.

“call me if you need anything, alright?” matt said while pulling back from the hug, still not ready to let go. maybe your heart stopped for minute, matter of a fact maybe it exploded. from the way matt was looking at you, it was enough to forget about the whole date. but you knew you couldn’t. there was no point on waiting on something that would probably never happen.

“okay matt.” you softly replied before breaking out of his grasp, leaving the house to make your way to your date.

so far, your date was going well. to your surprise your date was easy to talk to. he started conversations easily, and listened to you as spoke, which is why it was easy for your mind not to wonder to the brunette you left back at home.

you two had went to a semi-fancy restaurant and were laughing the whole night through. from cracking jokes, to telling one another funny stories, you thought this might just end well for you.

“how about we go back to my place after this?” your date said while paying for his portion of the bill since you insisted on splitting it. you smiled at this while also putting your card down.

“sure, why not?”

back at his house things escalated quickly. mere seconds after getting past the front entrance, his hands were all over you.

he held you as you two engaged in a heavy make out session, leading you towards his room, never breaking the contact. your arms unwrapped around his neck before falling back onto his bed. quickly climbing on top of you, he dives down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses all the way down to your collarbone. you sighed and propped yourself up on your elbows, making yourself more accessible to him.

as his free hand road your dress up, your hands were busy fumbling to get his shirt off, just as eager. he paused for a moment, leaning towards his bedside table to look for a condom. upon finding it, he undid his belt, and pushed his pants and boxers all the way down.

his teeth teared open the condom wrapper, as you watched his every movement. you laid back down, shutting your eyes, trying to brace yourself for what was about to come.

the guy placed his elbows on each side of your head. you could feel the tip slowly prying at your entrance.

shit

“wait, i can’t!” you quickly scooted back to the headboard. the guy looked at you confused, before taking the condom off and pulling his boxers back on.

“what the fuck, you serious?” he asked, eyes scanning your face to see if you were just joking. you adjusted your dress, swinging your legs off the side of the bed. “i’m sorry, im just not ready.” you muttered before finding your panties scattered somewhere on the floor, quickly putting them on you rushed out of the room.

the guy followed suit, yelling accusations at you. “you’re just gonna leave like that!?” he called out after you. you didn’t dare to look back, not even bothering to slip your heels back on, you ran out his house and didn’t stop until you were a couple of blocks down. you collapsed on the sidewalk, quickly pulling out your phone to call your pinned contact.

the phone rang and rang, until finally you could hear matt’s groggy voice on the other side of the phone.

“hey, what’s up?”

“matt, i need you to come get me right now.” you said, trying to compose yourself so he wouldn’t worry. on the other side you listened as matt shuffled around to grab his keys, making his way out the house in an instant.

“i’ll be right there.”

matt arrived in less than 15 minutes, since your location was a good distance between his house. he slowed down when he saw you at the side of the road, coming to a complete stop before you fell into the car.

he saw the look on your face. he didn’t need you to tell him, he knew something went wrong.

when you guys made it home, you made your way to matt’s room, not wanting to be alone that night. matt stopped in the kitchen to grab you some snacks before making his way back to your figure laid on the bed.

he shut the door and dimmed the lights, in case they were bothering you. he left the snacks on the table beside your head before laying down next to you.

“wanna talk about it?” matt asked gently. he turned over on his side to face you better. you sighed and ran your palm down your face. tears dropping down the plump of your cheeks. you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“we almost fucked,” you took a deep breath before continuing. “but i freaked out and ruined everything.” your eyes continued to water before you turned to face matt.

“what’s wrong with me?” your voice broke matt’s heart. to him there was absolutely nothing wrong with you. to him you were perfect, there was nothing that compared to you.

“hey, hey, hey” matt gently caressed your face while wiping your tears with his thumb. “there’s nothing wrong with being scared y/n. you don’t have to be ready right now.”

you let out another frustrated sigh. “but i am ready matt. he just..wasn’t the one i guess.” matt pulled his hand away from your face before looking into your eyes.

“then who is?”

your heart skipped another beat, or maybe two. he’s been right in front of you this whole time. the one you wanted, the one you needed. it was matt.

you shifted on your side before your hand made its way to matt’s neck. you watched his expression, for any sort of discomfort before connecting his lips with yours.

although the feeling of your lips on his brought matt to euphoria, he couldnt bring himself to do this while you were in a state of vulnerability, causing matt to back away from the kiss.

“y/n, are you sure about this?”

“yes matt, im really sure.”

matt smiled before pulling you in for another kiss, instead this one was more passionate, and desperate. your bottom lip hung open as matt took this as an invitation to push his tongue past the entrance. the atmosphere in the room only got thicker as matt shifted his body on top of you. you could feel the bulge in his pants rub against your core which made you whimper into the kiss.

“matt..please.” you gasped into the kiss.

“there’s no rush, baby. it’s just me and you.”

matt’s hands made their way down your body, reaching behind you back to undo the dress and reveal your breast out in display for him. matt dipped down, kissing all along the area, but purposely dodging the place you needed him most.

as matt’s hands went further, you could feel them just above your core. he could feel how wet you were through your panties. he made work to take them off, causing you to shiver from the exposure. you pulled at the hem of matt’s shirt, practically begging him to take it off. he complied, while also pushing his sweatpants, and boxers off. you couldn’t help but tense up, and do the same as before and lay back down to brace yourself.

matt grabbed a condom from his drawer, tearing it open and rolling it down his length. he could sense how tense you were. he gently placed his hand on your waist while looking into your eyes, trying to ease any of your worries away.

“i’ll go slow okay? tell me if you wanna stop.”

you whispered an ‘okay’ in approval. matt lined himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing in. your knuckles almost turned white with how much you were gripping the sheets to the new burning sensation.

“it’s okay angel, i got you.” matt reassured while caressing your face in hopes to calm you down.

matt groaned until he completely bottomed out. staying in place so you could adjust.

“fuck, you’re so tight.” matt breathed out.

you shivered at his words before taking a deep breath before telling matt he could move.

his thrusts were slow, but deep. enough to make you feel every inch of him.

“matt, can you go a bit faster?” you breathed out. matt nodded before propping himself up on his arms, making the snapping of his hips faster.

“oh god, matt!” you moaned out at the newfound pace. you mind was clouded with pleasure and the with the brunette in front of you. you reached up to push matt back down by his neck so your lips could clash against each other once again.

matt moaned against your lips, the clenching off your walls around him was enough to make him explode right then and there.

“you’re doing so good for me, angel.” matt whispered above your ear.

you whimpered, the combination of matt’s pace and the feeling of his lips peppering soft kisses all around caused your head to spin.

“matt, im gonna..” you could barely finished your sentence before matt’s free hand made it’s way to your clit, rubbing circles helping you chase your own high.

“go ahead baby, im right here.” matt mumbled, talking you through your orgasm.

“matt!” you cried out as you felt the knot in your stomach burst, leaving you a shaking mess as matt, also came undone, moaning your name as he rode out his high as well.

“fuck.” matt muttered before pulling out, which earned a shiver from you, still sensitive. matt made his way to the bathroom to clean himself off before coming back in his black sweatpants and a fresh towel for you. he gently cleaned you up, careful as he knew any sudden movement could cause you discomfort. you sat up before grabbing a clean set of matt’s boxers, and one of his sweatpants before collapsing back into bed.

matt did the same, pulling the covers over you two. his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you in closer. “are you okay?” he asked while peppering kisses along your neck.

“i’m amazing.” you chuckled while playing with the hand that held your waste.

“yeah, you really are.”

A/N: yall i………..i have no words, i dont usually write smut, I’ve probably written it like once but i decided to try smth new ig. I WAS GIGGLING THE WHOLE TIME. also message me if you wanna be moots, need some more. (need matt rn)

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fluff #sturniolo triplets #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic

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breathinlove · 1 year ago

Text

glue 002 ellie williams imagine

read this

sinopse: you might have a crush on your friend, college!au

cw: swearing, basically fluff, ellie plays soccer, puppy love again because that's my thing, slightly nerdy loser!ellie, reader and ellie are oblivious, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not exactly proofread.

you had been up all morning, not up really, awake. it was 11:43 when you actually got up, sick to your core. niyah had checked on you before she left for her classes, leaving you some cash for lunch, it's not like you didn't have any but niyah just felt like a mom sometimes. she also gave you a forehead kiss.

you rubbed your eyes while your other hand hugged your aching stomach. you grabbed your phone and squinted at the brightness of the screen.

“shit fuck.” you hissed, boy did your head hurt. you had suspicions that ellie had made so much nervousness pile up in you that it was threatening to explode your head and your poor stomach.

you had always been a little… anxious and got nervous when you hung out with new people, especially without your best friends. they were your safe space, you smiled sweetly thinkin about them, so you read over the texts on your group chat ‘take ur meds’. never the instagram one, because it's just your friend luana spamming instagram reels.

you laughed at your phone, turning it off just to wait for your friends to show up, you knew they would. you grabbed a piece of fruit and sat down again.

you grabbed your little notebook where you did all of your journaling, you always read some pieces before actually writing in it, so you did that. ‘ellie’ this ‘ellie’ that, from just last night before you got sick. but maybe you had already been sick from the moment she stepped into the room.

sick in your stomach, crippling nervousness. you and ellie hung out so much 1 on 1, so you assumed that's what happens when two anxious people get together to talk alone, even though you had known each other for a while now. you didn't give it much thought, well maybe you did. you wrote in pink ink...

‘she's so cute’ ummm late night thoughts were so funny to read over, right? just hilarious. ‘ellie williams #8’ adorned with stars and hearts? you were already sick last night, for sure!

on the other side of campus, ellie was at class but her mind was on the same side of campus as yours. ellie was very much in tune with her feelings for you, she'd say. ‘we're so awkward, we need to get closer!’ that's all you two needed, right? just that. she sighted, you looked at her adorned name in your notebook, she imagined your face adorned with flowers and asteroids?

she needs to pay attention in class! she'll think about you later, she wants to text you but she'll see you at lunch anyways so she decides against the text. ellie tried her best to focus on her boring class, impatiently waiting to see you again.

abby had texted you a few to let you know she was coming over, she was your childhood friend, inseparable at that. caring and loving, gentle giant abigail anderson. she was now on your carpet in front of you bed.

“so, did you take your meds?” she laughed, abby was a med student and definitely a good one but damn her she didn't know shit about pharmacy.

they might’ve teached her some of it, but this girl had very selective memory, it's not like you know what they teach at med school anyway. but you still thought she should cure you everytime you got sick, all your other friends agreed too.

“yep, i looked it up. turns out my friend being in med school doesn't serve me anything.” you stretched my leg to touch her with your feet and she gave you a disgusted look.

“you're such a bitch to me, i came to see you, sick girl.” she grabbed you by the ankle and pulled you with no force.

“abbyyy!” you laughed and tried yanking your feet back and she used more of her strength. she laughed with you and you felt less sick.

you two kept it up until you were falling off your bed onto her, she grabbed your torso, manhandling you so you looked at her. she looked mischievous, she had something up her sleeve.

“how's our favorite soccer star?” she smirks and you look scared, head jumping up and hitting hers. “hey! ouch lil girl…”

she soothed her head before soothing yours, with harsh pats... you weren't sure if she was soothing you or actively making it worse. you both laughed again, what the hell was wrong with you? you had slipped out of her thighs and sat on the carpet, right next to her.

“she's…” you coughed. “she's alright, i saw her yesterday.” you nodded to yourself and abby nodded back.

“right… right…” abby stared at you, smirk still in her lips, waiting for something.

you thought of what she might’ve wanted you to say. you used your brain so much that you realized something, eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed.

"what? you look like you developed your first thought.” she chuckled and you looked frightened.

“i forgot to tell her i'm sick.” you searched for your phone around the carpet and the bed.

“why would you have to tell her?” abby leaned back, watching you look for you phone.

"you know, even if she was a nurse in your wet dream, i don't think she can help.” she added when you ignored her.

“abby.” you actually slapped her nape and she hissed. “we were supposed to have lunch together, i don't wanna be rude and leave her hanging.”

“oooohh you're bailing her on your lunch date.” abby loved pressing your buttons and she knew which ones to press.

“yeah, our date at the campus cafeteria, abigail.” you found your phone under a pillow, one that you were sure you checked before. whatever, you texted ellie.

“abigail is crazyyy…” abby got up and peeped your phone from behind and you pushed her face, the fat on her cheek smushed. “sweetness, let me see.”

abby had a big sweet tooth growing so when you became friends, her dad started calling you tooth and sweetness, since she could never get enough of you. she clinged to it even now, when she was being nice but really often when she pissed you off.

“fine, tooth.” you caressed the cheek you had pushed. she laughed and playfully bit your shoulder as you turned off your phone.

“it's fine, y/n. she'll understand, of course.” abby slurred, you turned to her.

“yeah, i know. i wanted to see her though.” you rubbed your nose sitting on the carpet again, followed by abby.

“you'll see her soon, it's alright.” she patted your head and you looked at her blankly. “what? don't wanna see me too?” she pushed you head and snickered.

“i do, stop abby!” you laughed, pushing her back.

“you gotta crush and now you're gonna abandon me and lua.” she shook her head. “you won't abandon niyah because you live with her, but who knows! you might move in with ellie.”

“what are you even talking about?” you chuckled at her while she tried to maintain a serious face. “i'm not abandoning anyone.”

"AHA! so you do have a crush on ellie, lil girl…” she laughed loud, slapping her knee, now it was your turn to maintain a serious face while she laughed.

“first, you’re not funny. second, i don't have a crush on anyone.” she arched her eyebrow you held her temples, pressing her eyebrows back to their place. “stop, i don't”.

“be for real with me, pookie wookie.” you cringed hard with her.

“you can leave.” you both laughed so loud until she stopped and tapped your lap. “but she makes me nervous.”

“i know she does, might be something, don't you think?”

“mmm, i don't think so, we're both pretty anxious people so…” you shrugged and abby did too, she'd never pry.

“you might be right, time will tell.” she casually says as gets up. “you wanna order some? “i'm hungry.” you nod and she takes her phone out.

ellie on the other hand, is frowning at your texts, she's upset she won’t see you and she's upset you're sick. she immediately texted her friends dina and jesse about it, asking to have lunch with them instead.

she'd waited for them to meet up with her on campus, holding her phone. she wanted to text you again, but you probably needed rest so she opted out to spam texting cat, who wouldn't reply to the groupchat texts. cat was a fucking ghost most of the times, even when they dated... girl gets busy. when dina and jesse finally got there they walked together.

“y/n bailed on you, damn.” jesse shook his head ironically and dina rolled her eyes.

“shut up, jesse.” dina tickled his ear and smirked. they were walking towards the local subway.

“yeah shut up, she's sick dude.” ellie replied, with little to no humor.

her friends noticed. her hands were in her jeans pockets and she was looking down, jesse and dina knew her all to well to know she was even just slightly upset. childhood friends are like that, you'd know. abby was exactly like that with you.

“what's wrong?” jesse asked, palming her shoulder. dina stopped walking but ellie kept going, making them get back to walking too.

“nothin’. it's dumb, i just miss y/n or whatever.” ellie slurred, looking at her sneakers. jesse and dina chucked and she snickered.

“okay, okay. my bad.” jesse looked sternly at dina so she'd stop laughing. “you had plans?”

“actually yeah, i was gonna invite her to see me play saturday.” she looked up.

“it's wednesday, man. you can ask her later.” jesse started. “right?” he looked for ellie's eyes.

“as in a date?” dina asked, not afraid to. ellie was always open with them, she wasn't embarrassed by her feelings even though sometimes she was confused.

“nah, not a date. and yes i can ask later, but i get nervous and… i dunno.” she held her fingers as she sighed.

“just say it, els.” dina chuckled, jesse and ellie chuckled back.

“yeah, alright. i want her to see me play but i get nervous to ask and i thought i’d do it today.” ellie laughed at herself. dina and jesse nodded, they understood her.

“it's alright, you will ask. don't worry, she's gonna be thrilled.” jesse slapped ellie's back and dina looked at him in disgust.

"thrilled" dina mocked jesse, holding her fingers up as quotes.

they all busted out laughing as they got closer to the subways shop, talking about the saturday game, but never distracted ellie from the thoughts of you.

taglist: @mikellie @amberputh @ellslvr @elliesactualgirlfriend @macaroni676 @onlinelesbo @aispike @kalyxvfx @ellieschair

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lolathelooptyloop · 2 months ago

Text

us against the world, just me & you !!

summary: college! and early 2000s! jackieshauna thoughts. no crash! au

warnings: not proofread at all like at all, at all, very light/implied nsfw, short

a/n: okay i've spent enough time posting random shit, time to fulfill my true calling of making wlw headcanons. i just finished s3 (rip mari ibarra rest in pit ��) and seeing jackie in her pink and green early '000s housewife fit made me wanna write something where they go to college and live happily ever after. again this is very much not proofread (i literally wrote it in like 20-30 minutes) but enjoy regardless and hopefully i'll post a real fic soon.

so obviously in this universe shauna never slept with jeff or got pregnant, but i think she still had early acceptance into brown university

this obviously caused some ...tension... between her and jackie the summer before college

shauna tried really hard to hide it at first but eventually at a joint family dinner her mom brought it up while jackie was sitting right across the table from her

jackie stayed calm but crashed out after dinner when she and shauna were in private

she wasn't even mad about the acceptance she was just mad shauna kept it from her

"why would you lie to me about that?? you do know i would've been proud of you... right?"

and then shauna starts apologizing but also lowkey bringing up stuff that jackie does that made her feel like she had to keep it a secret because

y'all know my girl loves to not communicate her feelings until it's too much

and jackie starts to realize how they've both been hurting each other and how she really, really doesn't want shauna to leave her and go to brown, which causes some big 90s-romcom-esque moment where she's like "i just don't want to lose you!!"

and in my mind this is where they have their first kiss

some tears, a lot of miscommunication remedy-ing, and one sexuality crisis on jackie's part later, they're a kind of-sort of-official couple

shauna ends up not going to brown anyway because it's so far away from home and all her people

and i feel like this girl is defs a homebody like you saw her being so reluctant to go to that party

when jackie finds out she basically jumps for joy and shauna teases her about it ENDLESSLY

them moving into a dorm together!!

shauna calls van over to paint the walls (#handylesbiansforthewin) and they end up coming out to tai and van first

who obviously are so excited (they knew before jackie and shauna knew)

i think they still would go for a pink and green theme, but jackie would ask shauna more about how she wanted to design the dorm because jackie is trying to ask her opinion more often and shauna is trying to voice her needs instead of exploding with no warning

they end up getting bunk beds, shauna on the top and jackie on the bottom

jackie loves to hang a pretty sheet from the top bunk and hangs fairy lights all over the bedframe

shauna's bed is always made and jackie's bed is always messy (it just makes sense to me that shauna would be the neater one)

usually jackie ends up dragging shauna down to her bunk so that they can cuddle, though.

shauna who takes several classes a day and majors in literature and jackie who can't decide what she wants to do so she does a double major

she also is super active in things like environmental cleanups and art clubs and other random hobbylike events

i think jackie might think about joining a sorority, but decides not to because she thinks the hazing rituals are mean

plus, she wants to keep living with shauna

shauna who is always reading some massive old book or other for her classes and jackie who will randomly get bored and pounce on her, knocking the book from her hand and tickling her

"jax, i gotta finish paradise lost by tomorrow or i'm gonna fail this class!!" "aww, but i wanna make out with you! :("

it usually ends with the book forgotten on the floor while the girls fuck each other on the bed

i definitely feel like jackie is the type to be a d1 math HATER who stopped taking it as soon as she could in high school

and it comes back to bite her in the ass when she ends up having to take more math classes in college

at least shauna is there to help her with her homework

poor jax ends up getting super stressed out when she doesn't grasp the concept and picks at her skin/bounces her leg out of anxiety

my undiagnosed autistic queen

shauna puts a reassuring hand on her knee and kisses her until she calms down

jackieshauna who go to reunion parties with the other yellowjackets!!

a few of them probably also went to rutgers (laura lee and taivan), but they still want to see the other girls from time to time

they usually drink beer and play a friendly game of soccer while they catch up

jackie and shauna would probably also go to a lot of regular college parties, mostly ones that jackie was invited to

shauna will sometimes get really uncomfortable at these parties, she never liked big crowds or loud music

one time jackie found her crying in a bathroom after jackie left her to hang out with some friends

she felt so so bad and did most definitely reassure her by making out with her right there in the random frat boy's bathtub

now they only go to parties if both of them feel up to it

shauna loves to watch jackie do her hair and makeup for the parties and when i tell you that girl FREAKS OUT when jackie puts on a cute little mini dress

literally bi panic the absolute MAX (i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t-face)

jackie thinks it's super cute and gives her a teasing lil cheek kiss

speaking of kisses, these two become avid early 2000s rom-com watchers

they are SEATED when ten things i hate about you releases in 1999

jackie loves anything silly and lovey-dovey, but some of her favorites are pretty woman and amelie (she does try to learn french just because of the movie)

shauna enjoys them too, but she mostly just likes sitting on the couch with her arm around jackie's waist

jackie goes through a phase where she wants to straighten and dye her hair and shauna gets a nose piercing

they get matching tattoos!!!

jackie is really afraid of the needle but shauna convinces her it will be fine

they probably get something super corny like a moon and earth for "i love you to the moon and back"

jackie goes on to tell everyone that it didn't even hurt that bad (she totally cried)

they also get pets after a few years in college for sure

maybe in their junior or senior year, when they're both in their early 20s and financially stable enough to support animals

shauna gets an orange cat and jackie gets... you guessed it... a bunny

the cat was named "sherlock" by shauna after sherlock holmes (she loves mystery novels and no one can convince me otherwise)

the bunny is named "daisy princess shipman-taylor" by jackie

the two pets fight a lot at first but slowly grow to really love each other

the day the two end up cuddling up to sleep is considered a personal victory by the girls

"look babe it's us!!" -jackie

the two of them looove taking their pets out in those cheesy lil strollers to the mall and taking "family photos" together in crappy photo booths

the booths are really just an excuse to make out, but shauna still keeps all the photo strips tucked away safely in her nightstand.

well, that's all i've got for now! i hope you liked it, and if you did maybe drop a note to support a teenage author, if you please? it really does mean a lot. anyway, i'm so glad that this is the canon thing that happened in the show and no one died or got eaten, no one at all!! <333

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ghouljams · 18 days ago

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i wish i could be like you and just keep writing. i havent written anything in months and i feel horrible, like ive lost all motivation for it. how do you keep going?

One time I ate some alphabet soup and all the letters went the wrong way and got stuck in my brain so now i have to continuously shovel them out of my mouth or they'll compound and eventually my head will explode.

But more seriously the trick is to have fun with it. Genuinely it is so important to write something stupid and silly occasionally, it keeps you from striving for perfection and rekindles my joy so it might do the same for you. I think also I should not be used as a metric for healthy writing habits. My writing often consumes my life and eats into other hobbies.

There are times when I write because I feel like I have to, like I have done it so much that not doing it is a betrayal of myself, like I am letting down the invisible hand that puppets me. I worry sometimes that I am letting down the people who read my work when I have trouble writing. I worry that all of my words have been written and now I am only left with a hollow shell of vague ideas. I worry that I will never write anything good again, or that even if something good does come out of me it will not be as good as what I wrote before

But these are not true things they are simply the whispers of burnout. They signal a time for rest, for silliness. I think if you are having trouble writing it is a sign that you need a break to replenish your words. Think about a silly, inconsequential, scenario. Imagine Ghost with a princess Diana memorial beanie baby that he swears is worth money. Imagine Price loses his hat and is forced to wear the novelty hat Soap got him for Christmas. Be silly without putting much stock in it. Write sloppy. Dont worry over words. Start a completely new self indulgent project that you will never write purely for something to daydream about. Let yourself take a break.

Thats how I do it, at least.

#ghoul speaks #writing advice

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marisol-holme · 1 year ago

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The retired good girls guide for writing

I haven’t always been able to understand myself.

I never felt like I was able to clock pure basic needs. Couldn’t tell if I was hungry or thirsty. I finished my meals early, preferring to always feel full, in a silent critic of my mother and father’s controlling rule over my life. A few bites of fuck you always left on the plate. I liked to see how far I could push it. How little I could drink, sleep, or eat, and still function. A true desert island scenario would see me lasting years; I had inadvertently trained myself for it. Except my desert island was more devoid of emotional fulfilment and attention.

I had to get creative. I developed some interesting tendencies, sure. But mostly I just wanted to escape. Now my parents never went out, and my internal world was already tumultuous at best, so I did what anyone would do and read. I read voraciously. The ability to turn off my hunger had seeped into all areas of my life. A fugue state dissociation through most of my early years through to adolescence. But I was able to come alive when I was reading. When I read, it was like my first breath. Hungry. I could imagine these worlds and built them up easily, colourfully within my mind’s eye. I'd picture the strong female characters that I admired. I’d taste food, hear music. It was the only time I was ever able to really live, before I had to go downstairs and pretend to eat.

Unwittingly, my upbringing fostered just the correct environment for me to develop a writer’s hunger. Because a writer is always a reader before they grow mad to write. I grew mad fast. I had to. I had to create worlds for me to escape into, away from all the shouting and fighting. Alchemise what I’d read into something new and original. It helped that I was an avid daydreamer, although a psychiatrist might call me a maladaptive daydreamer, but it only ever occurred to me when I was bored. Parallel to this, I grew into shame, so what I wrote I would throw away. I sadly have none of my early works. They are long decomposed into sub-atomic and absorbable waste, probably seeped into a water system somewhere and live inside all of you. Yuck. Not even my best work.

Then I grew up and I had no dreams because I was not hungry. I hadn’t picked up a book in a long time. I dabbled with things that made me feel warm. Partying and shallow conversations. Grotty pubs and sticky clubs. Good friends made me feel a good kind of warm. But it took me a long time to find my way back to literature. Through a work stint as a Nursery Practitioner, I found my way back into writing. You see, at the nursery we had to send updates to parents all about what their children were getting up to. I enjoyed this task and wrote the children’s days like stories. Descriptive and alive. I’d got the bug and the bug had bit me. I didn’t last long once I had started writing again and I quickly found myself working at the Ideas Foundation.

Through my new employer, I was encouraged to trial as much as possible to find out what I enjoyed doing. I was also very privileged to have access to several creative professionals who genuinely wanted to help and mentor those younger than them. Mentors can see all your ducks and help you to get them in a row. My ducks were all over the place and needed very graceful guidance. You push my ducks too much and, well, they explode. Poof!

Speaking to seasoned professional copywriters, I was able to glean their persistent journey into the profession. The confusion I once had around my goals has seemed to have dissipated. The ability to feel hungry for life and understand myself has only grown. My spark is back.

The excitement and giddiness I feel when I think about myself as a writer is immense. The energy can fuel me for days. I look to the bottom left of my documents and the number of words that can pour out onto a page grows and grows with each project I set myself. The possibilities as a writer seem endless from this perspective.

I understand that there is a lot more to these dreams that simple want. I must be focused. Persistent. Take up the offers of guidance from those around me. Accepting critic and moving towards goals. But the potential is there. I understand myself a little better. I value my work a little more. Hopefully, one day in the not-so-distant future a book of mine might get thrown away and end up decomposing in the damp soil into tiny fragments that find their way into us. At least that work will be better and born of something other than the child’s will to survive and create. That would make me feel okay.

#female writers #creative writing #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #writer community #personal blog #professional blog #The retired good girls guide for writing

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quilloleander · 2 months ago

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It's nearly my birthday, yippee.

It's also nearly my country's midterm elections and we're so fucked.

And because said elections is falling on my birthday (I am so chill about this SKSKSKS), I decided to do something fun.

Okay but no, I was planning to do this for my birthday cause I really do enjoy this fandom and because I wanted to do something fun for my birthday. So, in an old old account I used to take fanfic requests (before somebody scared me off by acting weird) and I decided that for a month starting on my birthday (31 days), I will be taking fanfic requests again. However, only for topics that I enjoy because I have favorites.

However, I don't know which one to do so I have made a poll.

So like some explanations down below for each one cause they do come with their own rules and like explanations.

SG OPMeg Scenarios

So, I... really love SG lmao, this might be evident in my old accounts lmao. But yeah for this particular one, I will not be writing smut or nsfw (though I am always open to yandere/dark stuff) because I cannot write that or I will explode. I just love the concept of Shattered Glass so much, and I am open to most continuities (this fanfic I wrote shows the five that I'm kinda open to writing for).

Also, do note that when I say OPMeg... I mean OPMeg. I know I don't write smut or nsfw but when I mean OPMeg it usually means I see OP as the more like dominant one in the relationship, like sorta the "pursuer" if you will, even if it is like just romantic stuff and nothing overtly explicit. I mean, it works either way, this is SG anyway and everyone knows how much of a freak SG OP is for Megatron lmao.

High Guard + Sparkling Megatron Scenarios

I actually really enjoy the idea of the High Guard being mentors for Megatron, I think it's adorable (I say knowing full well he's going to be so manipulated by those older mechs). But yeah, this is more fluffy. I've been seeing a lot of cute fanart of Megatron somehow turning into a sparkling and the High Guard just being so doting and I need to write it huhuhu.

But yeah, I am also just really partial to the concept of Starscream being a dad. Would he be a good one? Maybe not. But hey, it's fun to think and write about. I don't know, I just like the idea of the High Guard having to deal with a sparkling Megatron (who is technically their leader who just turned into a sparkling somehow) and having to take care of him.

Megatron as Primatronus' Sparkling Scenarios

If you read some of my fanfic from my old account, like this or this or this, then you know I am a little insane about this concept (and I'm sure people in the OPMeg discord server are probably aware of this too lmao). So yeah like I am also open to accepting requests with this premise, because I just love this made up thing so much that I am always happy to write more about it.

Like I am also open to writing scenarios based off the fanfics I've already written, so like if you want a certain scenario based off the Sole Survivor Prima AU, the Primes as Eldritches AU, or the And The Sky Bled Fire AU, I'm happy to accept those. However, I'm also happy to write about different scenarios of Megatron being related to Primatronus.

#transformers #transformers one #transformers shattered glass #megatron #optimus prime #opmeg #paxd #the high guard #primatronus #shattered glass

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tuskito · 2 months ago

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Dry Soil

I wrote a few paragraphs of prose poetry anthropomorphizing dirt, you can read it in the link or after the cut:

~ ~ ~

Dirt, rain, mud, Sun, dirt. There are cracks over me, threads drawn through the bitter of my substance. Substance that, I wished, was amorphous – but fatally I am morphological. I see myself filled with forms, but from them I’m emptied: there are gaps everywhere; pressures everywhere. The massive solidity that constitutes me is being breached.

Yes, all over I’m being penetrated, they take root, consume me. I climax. It’s through the void of my being that the other makes me again something I once was. That’s because the preservation of a state is the death of everything, including the state itself. All over small serpents run; I’m not yet sure what fruits they bring, but it’s true that they always bring Fruit, for it is known that in adverse encounters both parties explode, knowledges sprout and from knowledges truths are born.

Thus: there is a circle and it’s not really true that it is a circle. It is a limit, it is a boundary, yes; but in fact this circle is an amorphous boundary, so it is not exactly a circle save for the fact all points are equidistant from a fundamental center:

It is the Word. It is the Big Bang. It is that delicious temptation, Fruit of the small serpents, which might in fact be worms but might also be divine roots, bringing me everything to the mouth; but it’s so impossible. It is so repulsive, the mud that I am. My forms wither away, I’m robbed of what I was. Is it true that I know? But who am I, this who knows?

……………………. :

There is a Sun. But, see, what does it bring me now, this Sun? The roots in me have grown. It is now true that I can no longer be. Before I believed myself amorphous, now I watch in myself forms so disparate that from them I hide. It is not possible to be anything, the fruit in me were wasted. The maggot that crosses me, grotesquely, might taste in me the distant flavor of that Fruit. This maggot now is my only friend. This maggot now might be Eve. It is fair that Eve penetrates Adam.

I’d like now for the Sun to dry me. They are beasts from the fields, these who step over me. I do not comprehend them, but when they die their entrails are spilled over my cracks and I come to maybe understand. No, I do not understand a single thing. The limitrophe sphere is always equidistant. It is God that I find. God is nothing, and I’m condemned to be something; this thing is light: I shall never be God. The divine knowledge is that which moves away from amorphousness; the only possible morphology is the divine one. My humble sphere, your unfortunate geometry unfolds itself! It’s nothing but distances. How I miss those bones, that blood. I too am iron, like this blood, blood that soon dries up – dry soil, amorphous.

,,, ,, ,, ,, ,,,,, ,,, ,, , , , , , , ,,,,

It rains. The dots of rains empty me from my iron. It is my blood that thus flows: is it also sea? The serpents go through me. They devour me. And how delicious, the way they devour me. It is my desire, to be amorphous, fatally amorphous! I don’t want the eyes of God, I want the eyes of this beast. Its vitreous leaks over me. How does the vitreous taste? Maybe in the moment I drink this vitreous I’ll be able to know this orb called eye.

#poetry #prose poetry #anthropomorphism #furry artist writing stuff

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terranoctis · 1 year ago

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I played Hades II a fair bit yesterday during my breaks and free time for Supergiant Games' technical test of the game. Part of me wants to keep playing today, but I got stuff to do and I do want to keep up the excitement for the early access. I wrote a rough, kind of unedited essay about it before I went to sleep last night though below, mostly for me to have record of my memories in written form. Some spoiler-y screenshots and random thoughts/analyses below if you want to read more. I mean it--there are spoilers and the most random long tangents because I like to analyze. (I do recommend playing first if you have a chance to)

First thing I'll say is that the game is pretty phenomenal and so damn fun. The experience reminds me of when I played Hades for the first time in their initial Early Access of the game years ago. Longtime Supergiant Games fan here (since Transistor release)! I remember running into a bug then and reporting it when I froze in-game, but I have not run into any noticeable bugs at all yet for Hades II. I've done some reports for minor bugs, but extremely minor ones that I actually feel bad for even reporting and adding to their list of messages to go through. Supergiant has their QA down, truly. I have so much respect for them and how they've developed the game. Darren Korb did an amazing job on the music again. It has that iconic Hades sound with the strings (that is not a guitar, I forget what it's called) while also being its own distinct soundtrack.

The 4th wall banter moments between Melinoë and Homer (who is revealed as narrator!) have been one of my favorite things about the story/narration execution. Her being cognizant of Homer does make it so there are rather funny moments, but also brings up the question of how that might shape the narrative later on. I'm so curious!

When I first started the game, I had a funny moment where I died almost instantly in the second room because I was testing out Melinoe's skillset and ran out of MP (?) and then got slapped because I wasn't actually doing damage when trying to use her bigger skills, heh. It did take me some time to get used to it, but Mel's skills and cast abilities are so much fun to use when utilized well. Her cast and its ability to hold your enemies for a time is one of the best upgrades to combat, in my opinion. For all I love the first Hades, I remember having to dash like crazy to escape exploding carts coming after me if I didn't have a good boon to mitigate or avoid that. With the cast for Melinoë, it'll change that to placing strategically some casts that can hold quick enemies or enemies that are very dangerous if they get close to you (wailers in this game are one such enemy). In terms of boons, Demeter's, Hestia's, and Apollo's have been some of my favorites. Aphrodite also has a phenomenal one for casts that will gather your enemies into your cast, making it an ideal combination with some devastating other boons that can easily damage groups of enemies all at once. Hephaestus also has a pretty fun one where I think he can explode in a certain proximity with your special or attack, I forget. I do wonder if they'll have to rebalance some of these boons because there are certain ones I can annihilate enemies with--but then again, maybe that is needed for later sections of the game.

The numerous references to the moon in the game are a nice nod to Melinoë's lore in Greek mythology and poetry too. Though she's more associated with being a goddess of ghosts (I find it a nice touch you can salute shades you meet in the Crossroads because of this) and nightmares (I don't think it's a coincidence Hypnos is the only other survivor of Hades' inner sanctum), Melinoë has at some point been referenced as a moon goddess as well of the underworld. Selene is the moon goddess and Artemis has also become known as a goddess of the moon in mythology in addition to being the goddess of the hunt. So that connection between the three and the friendship they share in the game is pretty cool in that regard (Selene calls you the "Silver Sisters.")

Having Artemis become your friend in Hades II, something akin to a friendly rivalry like Thanatos was to Zagreus, is such a fun story--and then you have Selene added into that mix as well. From the few runs I've done, I've gathered that Artemis and Hermes are the first of the Olympus gods who knew of Melinoë's existence in her youth as Hecate's pupil. She helped Hecate hide the truth of Melinoës survival (at least from the Olympus gods)--and when Melinoë was ready, it was only then that Artemis leaked through Apollo that Hades' daughter was coming to fight Chronos and had survived the fall of Hades. So the boons you get are because the twins, Artemis and Apollo, played a role in connecting you to Olympus for the fight against Chronos. There seems to be more in this background that I'm curious to learn about. Just from their banter, it's clear Artemis has spent much time with Melinoë and Selene in some form. I don't know if they have duo boons in this game (or boon-hex? Selene gives you a hex), but I'm curious to see what these two's duo boon(s) would be if they have them.

The game also does that thing the first game did so well of shifting the world as you progress and have changes in the relationships about you. Nemesis is one of the new characters in Hades II who doesn't seem to like you very much initially, but with your dialogue with Odysseus nearby, you get the sense that it wasn't always this way. When you gift her a nectar, Melinoë subtly starts calling her "Nem," and you can tell the two of them are very slowly mending whatever it is they have (Odysseus chuckles nearby probably seeing the progress). You also meet Doom Incarnate (Moros) and have to unlock having him at the Crossroads by invoking him, which is also pretty fun in terms of letting you slowly do more runs and experience the world more in order to gather enough "resources" to call him. It allows a natural progression of characterization and getting to know the people around Melinoë, in my opinion.

Dora's also one of my favorite character already. There's something so funny about Melinoë encouraging Dora as she tries to scare and haunt her as a proper ghost, but then also rather touching that she just accepts that Dora just likes to hang out in her room and not go out much. I love Arachne too, and how she's just chillin' like, I'm bored and alone and just spinning webs, so here Melinoë, have some clothes I made.

This game makes me love it as much as I loved the first one. In some ways, in terms of how they executed establishing background and connections between Melinoë and her companions (Odysseus' calls her a "little goddess" as a child! Hecate plays hide-and-go-seek with her!), I think they've started out much stronger than they did in the first game. And this one already starts with a sort of high-stakes situation from the get-go. Melinoë's entire family has been taken by Chronos and she grew up apart from them. The game does well of letting you step into the world even if you haven't played the first one--and playing on your affection for Hades, Persephone, and Zagreus if you did. After all, considering how hard you worked as Zagreus to bring back together that family in the first game, the second game logically comes back with a vengeance with Melinoë at the loss of such a family and a need for vengeance against Chronos for ruining it. The world feels familiar, yet the cast of characters are so different.

And the designs of all the new gods! And the new designs for the old gods! They're all extremely well-done. I've been a longtime fan of the artists for the characters and the environments. They've done stellar jobs on it again for this one, and there's more touches to icons and designs of the UI I like too. The dialogue log is one of my favorite things too, as someone who might miss a piece of dialogue here and there when I take off my headphones. The voice acting in this game is also a whole notch up from the previous game. Not to knock anyone from the first Hades, since I think they did a great job, but I do feel like the voices have been more professionally recorded this time around. Or something about it is a little more polished. Kudos to Supergiant for another game that's an A+ in my book thus far. Ahh!

I could keep going, but honestly, I think it's best to have people experience the game in Early Access. I mostly just wanted a record for myself to look back on for being a small part of Hades II's journey and share some of my excitement and the random analyses I had. It'll be fun for me to look back on how I read some things and how I felt when the finished version of the game comes out eventually.

#personal #hades 2 #hades ii #hades ii spoilers #readings and ramblings

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