#but also idk. idk if im on the right here but it just feels super fucked up that i cant just say 'well i didnt write my full name bc
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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this whole weekend has felt SO off idk whats been in the air these last two days but i would love for it to be monday now thank you!!!!
#my brain is just NOT here. keeps coming and going in waves#genuinely feels like there is something Physically stopping my brain from doing things and its sooo. its SOOO!!HFJHDGHJFDSHJG#like that weight that you can FEEL when youre super depressed#just like that only its in my brain and it wont let me think or focus on something for too long#like can you go away please i have THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#everything feels off. my interactions w literally everybody the last two days havent felt right#i do Not! feel like im being a regular human person#but also idk how to stop it bc i cannot identify the specific problem#someone take me out back and shoot me please and also thank you
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🪼. .
#ignore ignore im just talking dont worry about me scroll away#but for me#i think worse than feeling ugly is feeling genuinely stupid#i mean feeling ugly is also not feeling very nice right now of course#but still#i feel like i have to try like 40% harder than other people just to understand certain things#i shouldnt have to retake several classes more than once it's wasteful and foolish and proves i am not meant to be here#im glad i realized now at least i shouldnt go to medical school it would kill me#it's not even just school conversations with people are lost on me so often i feel like i cant keep up with people#and i joke about it with friends and family that i'm a little slow and can't manage a lot of adult responsibilities#but this is really what i think makes me feel unlovable and useless#i feel like i have to constantly fake being smarter than i am#and its silly but i think about how im so attracted to men and characters that are super smart and sharp and i feed into my silly fantasies#and then realize they wouldnt ever give me another glance after more than an hour of conversation#i try really hard but it always seems to fall short idk#gosh my period is always just pulling up my deepest and most painful insecurities before she makes her appearance huh ghjfhkl😭#lord i need to go to sleep i bet when i wake up ill have forgotten ever typing this and feel completely fine 💗
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whatever. one sided freak psychosexual relationships my beloved [kicks a rock and it bounces back and hits me in the head and i die]
#inho has a. fucking oarasocial relationship w gihun HELPPPPP#also oh my god i got so freaked out by a single post not even abt me. i dont think i even talk abt it that much#guys….. sniff…. tou dont think i mischaracterise my funnies do uou….?#[remembers i cld be writing yandere mafia au w them rn] ah well.. maybe a little ooc is fine. as a treat#UM. i do actually have a few FICLET ideas tho for squidgames. tho its more genfic#IM THE GENFIC BEASTTTTTT.#i wanna do one where gihun is in The Room u know the one.#and his shitty revenge plan becomes even shittier ans its all very awkward and miserbale. and bot cool or sexy#MY TRUTH. where gihun has a panic attack after holding it in for days and inho doent even do anything evil and just tells him to leave#indulgent bc i dont think this wld happen. but its my truth my reality.#and also i want to erite a precanon sangihun FREAKLET. where nothing aslo happens and its super swkward ans miserbale#you see the theme here. right#LOL. have not written fic in forverrre but all my ideas r just like. what if nothing happened and it sucked#idk im no good with plot. so i just have ideas for single scenes#and most of them r like. yeah this is just rlly stupid. so so stupid#i like to focus a lot on inner feelings and the Unspoken. which is greta for ummm.#[checks tags] unresolved tension#i had another idea for like gihun and daeho talking it out after the revolt#and they both blame themselves etc. and yeah it also sucks#but idc abt that one as much. IVE MOVED ON#pshhh. yeah im no good at writing actually Stuff but i like to linger on an idea. and then leave it at that. you work it out LOL#mayhe i will write these. if the stars align beautifully and i get less scared of ooc writing.
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like i would | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3
cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,
summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged
wc: 4.5k
_____________
you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.
spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows.
it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.
so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.
apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy.
spencer doesn’t buy it.
he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’
it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.
the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.
the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.
“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”
“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.
“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.
“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”
emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”
“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.
“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”
“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.
spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?
—
spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.
he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.
“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”
he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”
you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.
he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.
“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.
the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.
“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.
spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).
but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.
not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.
so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”
you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”
“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”
pulling away to sit far from him on the couch, you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”
“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”
“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”
he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”
“what’s what spence, let me go.”
“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.
“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.
“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”
any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.
your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.
the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.
“i heard you, on the jet.”
you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point.
he heard you?
“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.
the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?
the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.
“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”
his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.
“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.
your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”
the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.
“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”
your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.
“no.”
spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”
“no.” you say again, softer this time.
“should we change that?”
this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.
so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.
he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.
“yes.”
that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.
you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.
he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.
detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“
“please don’t stop.”
he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.
the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.
“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”
spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.
“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.
you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.
“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.
his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”
“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.
he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.
“oh fuck,” you cry.
“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.
you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.
“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”
“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.
the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.
he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.
the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.
his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.
he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.
spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.
“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.
“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.
you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.
he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured.
it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.
your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.
your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere.
spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.
you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.
“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”
“but…” you pathetically respond.
“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”
the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.
“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”
you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.
holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.
his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”
you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.
his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.
you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.
if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.
once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.
you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.
the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.
but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.
“spence…harder.”
he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.
“whatever you say, princess.”
and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.
“fuck,” you whine.
“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”
your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.
“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”
you whimper, “spencer,”
“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”
he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.
“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”
spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.
in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.
the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”
still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”
he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”
you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”
“me?” he says incredulously.
you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”
he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”
you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”
“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”
“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”
“just tell him i have a gun.”
“so does he?”
“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.
you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x you#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x oc
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Please expect a serious slow down of my posting, especially fanart or drawings. I'll be getting a second job soon so I'll be busy every weekend from now on + plus my school is starting next month.
#josh speaks#i feel....so grown up... two jobs.. early college.... extra curriculars#/j but like ohhh my y god i am getting oldderrrr#n e wayz how have yall been. ik its been a hot minute since ive done much up here beside cry over legos and slenderman series from 2009#OH MY GODH SPEAKING OF LEGOSSSSSS#almost bought one of the new dr sets. bcs i want sora and arins minifigures#BUT ITS SO DAMN EXPANSIVE!!! SINCE WHEN DID THEY COST THIS MUCH?!?!?#so. we will just. have to wait til my next paycheck#ALSO my new job is cleaning houses again and i fucking hate it sorry ive cleaned houses and apartments before and its god awful#you think catering weddings are bad? go clean a giant 3 floor 28 room god knows how many baths big ass house in the middle of the southern#summer heat. that? truly makes me consider if i should kms. but the pay is good so 🤷♂️ tis whatever#id make like 100~ a week i think? so . more money to fuel my lego collection ig?#also also also. did an art trade with my friend AND THEIR ART IS SOOO SO CUTE LIKE STRAIGHT SEROTONIN OHMG#hope they like what i did but twas super super tired. so idk. oh also! watched good omens s1!! it was fun i enjoyed. reminded me of doom pat#rol a bit? that show was fun in its own right. so please expect good omens fanart . Eventually. hopefully before exam season🙏🙏#i need to re read all my bob books bcs my coach will chew me out if i forget everything but luckily i have like. a really good memory (lie)#im just rlly good at cramming books 1 hr before competition. yk how it js#nother reminder my reqs r open it just might take me a minute#got locked out of my tumblr acc on the web so that sucks. tis whatever . (its not im p upset)#oh i got my mom to watch nimona with me today!! she enjoyed. and put some nails on bcs i havnet done that in 4ever#alao bought new skirts today. this has eneded up me just telling yall abt my day but. lets be real for a sec i domt have anyone to rlly talk#to so. the tags of my tumblr posts will have to do. are the new eps of dr out yet or is it just leaks (ive been avoiding them like the plagu#e so far) ALSO#im like 60 percent sure ill be working as the stage manger for my schools next production PLEASE pray for me. i am going to DIE#(not rlly its just hell. HELL) and then that + work + college + BOB + highschool + wanting to post my drawings online#for a while its gonna be sketchbook spreads + doodles srry#oh also also also . would abyone like to see a few snippets of my sketchbook when its done? we r like almost there#hoping to finish it b4 school starts. and get my license. jesus christ theres so much to doo!!!!!!!!!!!!! i finally get what all those#shojou girls were complaining about!!! this is hard!!!!!!!!!!#anyways. tis all. farewell good friends. sincerely -fishtank32
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yrkeby4ur8
#hi its personal post as tho tumblr is my diary in the tags while still being vague time bc my coping strats are failing me a little and#ig being able to essentially shout into the void is kinda nice like i cld physically write things down but i did a lot of that#already today w sssitnments and my fjfknging joints hurt so here we are!#ig theres also comfort in knowing someone somewhere probably read it. regardless of what they think/feel/the impression it gives them bc.#like. i exist! i guess? idk.#anyway that being said tw for talk of sh and upsettio spaghettio n stuff.#but yeah im like 🤏 close to relapsing with cutting or some sort of. idek.#and the only reasons im resisting are like. its been so long and itd be a shame to break that streak#which funnily enohgh mskes another part of me wana do it MoRE to like. idk. remember. and. punish ?? idk.#but we're ignoring him rn hes being a little too edgy.#and then bc it would feel like im being manipulative and ik if ppl find out they would probably be very . distressed.#and if it were me and i found out i know id be incredibly distressed and maybe a little scared and just knowing other ppl like it just#would not help the situation ykwim itd probably make things worse#also kinda too tired physically emotionally etc rn to do it and go thru it and the aftermath and having to clean up and take care and#trust myself to be. safe. enough. abt it.#but. now hear me out. IF i do it somewhere that isnt super obv or visible. i doubt theyll know anytime soon.#and if things go. in a way thats.. i dont think i can cope with then well ill prob end up right back in this feeling without the like#withstraint of someone who cares and wants to care abt themselves and others and want to control themself and behaviours and health#but that thought in itself feels manipulative bc its like saying either way i wld prob do it teehee like a threat but. its. oeurghgnnfd.#i just. am struggling to cope. i feel things. so much. and. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i think if i have made it this far for this long i will be able to keep going without resorting to that?#but i really do hate that its like. wld be. yeah like turbo bad.#a very small and fucked up part of me feels like if things do go bad then what does it even matter and even better if whoever were to know#that i HAD relapsed bc ig at that point its like. idc who is upset or disappointed or uncomf or scared of/for me and thinks im terrible bc#at that point like. things are all. tumbling (lol) snd messed up so if i am messed up then whatever! ig. ????#but umm. yeah. idk i guess im just frustrated with my own . caring abt being responsible and stuff#there was a time when i was not as likely to be able to resist consequences be damned#im like over here going thru the stages of grief on god fr fr no cap on the stack or whatever ppl say#in other brighter news i managed to get a bit of work done on one of my assignments and some needed friend time but wasnt actually able to
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lil rant in tags. trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and that kind of stuff. if you feel like reading it please be aware of pretty detailed descriptions so please be careful. (also don’t worry i’m fine and not actually going to do anything. just needed to get my thoughts out)
#tw: suicide#the spot im in right now is really shitty because i want to kill myself but im not actually going to kill myself#so im stuck feeling [insert emotion idk how to describe here] and thinking about how much i want to kill myself#and thinking about all these different potential methods meanwhile i have to also function and take care of myself and do hw and shit#(which im not really doing but i need to)#i wish that i could just kill myself but i can't because of my family#and i don't really have the means to do it. ive been thinking about all these different ways but none of them are practical#i would need a rock solid plan that couldn't fail#the other thing is that it would probably take several days for anyone to notice because i don't really interact with my roommate that much#and everyone else would think i was just ignoring their texts (it sometimes takes me days to respond) and it's not super uncommon for me#to just not go to class. honestly my boss would probably be the first to notice when i don't show up to work but i could also just text her#and make up some lame excuse or quit or something (but if my attempt fails im screwed)#maybe if i took every single medication i have and downed it with a bottle of vodka i could get close but i ran out of alcohol and im not 21#i suppose i could ask someone to buy it for me but i won't want to get anyone else involved and have them feel guilty#and even that is probably likely to fail#no high roofs anywhere near me and that would be really bad if i survived#i could try to sl*t my wrists but none of the blades i currently own would be able to do the trick#what do ppl even use to do that? no blade ive ever had as been able to go deep enough to even need stitches (well maybe a few probably did)#and that is again a method that would likely fail and could leave me with nerve damage#i could walk into traffic but that would be really public and again involving others and what happens to the driver?#all the other methods i can think of involve ~materials~ i don't have access to are just aren't practical#maybe if i take enough benedryl to knock me out and take a bath but i wouldnt want to do that to my roommate#and the lock on our bathroom door doesnt work#this is a really fucked up thing to say but i wish i knew how my friend who passed away last year did it#ppl often succeed so maybe i just need to care less about it potentially failing?#this is all hypothetical of course. i can't do that to my family. i tried 5 years ago and they were really upset
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I am brand new to spiderman and have only seen msm 2017 and both spiderverses and some scenes from andrew garfields spiderman movies so bare with me.
gregory is spiderman but named spiderboy instead. he goes to a nerd school but instead of him being science smart hes computer science/software smart. in this au hes just a bit younger than normal spiderman teen age at 14 just so he can still be at a high school
his uncle ben was Bonnie and his aunt May is Freddy
Cassie takes spider gwens place but shes different. more like msm gwen where shes just friends with spiderboy. her name is spidergirl and her and spiderboy both know eachothers secret identity and are best friends. cassie also goes to gregorys nerd school but she specializes in hardware. since this is once again mostly based off of msm Cassies dad is the jackal and evil so. she has to deal with that
Vanessa is Gregory's sister who is actively mind controlled by the dor oc of this world (once again based off of msm's mind control discs). she also has a secret identity as Vanny but as a villain and she knows somethings off but doesnt know what it is. shes gone and busy as much as Gregory is in the Fazbear household so Freddy doesn't get suspicious because both his kids are busy and it's not just one being strangely absent. in turn Gregory doesnt realize Vanessa's gone a lot because well. shes out as vanny when hes out as spiderboy, so shes also home at the same time as him. she doesnt go to any fancy school yet because shes still choosing a college. I think her specialty would be writing code?
doc oc is the mimic but like. not like a human it's still a robot. I think it would be a rogue security robot from one of the nerd schools that got so smart it upgraded itself by giving itself six limbs on its back and kept stealing tech from the schools until it made the mind control discs. it has control over vanessa and like in msm has a sinister 5: monty, chica, roxy, the dca, and vanny
theres no harry osborn counterpart BUT tony and ellis are in this au. tony works for jjj and is given the job of taking pictures of spiderboy, but his goal is really to convince them all that he should be the one writing papers and not taking photos. gregory and tony meet while Gregory is spiderboy and Gregory has the most of the classic hiding spiderman identity hijinks with him as they grow closer and bond throughout this hypothetical story lol. tony is also working to find the secret identity of spiderboy in particular since he was the first but all of the spider people in general as a personal project. in their case to add ggy flair Gregory gets the same mind control disc used on him as vanessa after a slip up with doc oc and he turns evil and attacks tony. It happens to be at the same time/after his identity is revealed to him which is sus for Gregory and makes tony confused
ellis takes miles Morales' place in this au so hes another spider guy, not sure about his name yet since I want it to be something different. he met Gregory through tony. I just think all of tonys friends being the spiders and him not having a clue and missing what's right in front of him is so funny. I also think Gregory and ellis would have so much synergy on the field like they're friends and can goof off together. I think like how peter helps miles in msm could be applied here but it's less like being Ellis' mentor but just trying to help him understand when it's time to be serious as a spider and not just quip and swing around as a friend
as a little bonus I've been thinking a lot today about the concept of spidergirl taking after a gwen and falling down an elevator shaft out of web like in andrew garfields spiderman and Gregory has to save her.... like omg
I'm fucking cooking with a fnaf spiderman au rn
#im not immune to spiderman superhero romance propaganda beckory is canon here#i cant help myself man like theyre just so.#gregory having 2 identities 1 whos famous and a huge mystery regarding who he is and what is exact motives are#like u can't tell me tony becker wouldnt have a crazy wall in his room with red thread and pics of spiderboy trying to figure out who he is#hes prob also hoping if he figures out an identity it could be a big break for him in the journalism field sice itd be his own breakthrough#also fronnie burned my house down Gregory and freddy both mourn bonnie together#cassie and gregory are mega bffs here super close#gregory also almost tells vanessa hes spiderboy very often because he trusts her so much but stops himself#call it a gut feeling but he never goes through with it and hes right to do that becuase vanessas unknowingly under doc ocs control#tbh i almost think ellis would immediately tell tony hes a spider but idk#spiderboy au#thoughts#long post
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r/UberEATS 014 are u a coward
r/UberEATS posted by
u/finickydriver141・14 hr. ago
my customer's little brother broke her heart and i don't know how to fix it
hi. this probably isn't the right subreddit to post on but i'm an uber eats driver if that helps...
so anyways, i've been delivering to this customer for a while now, and we've gotten really close, almost like a talking stage? idk. well, last night, she told me about this huge argument her and her brother had, and i wanna help fix things because i kinda like her. a lot.
tl;dr: her little brother lied to her two years ago and ruined her friendship with her best friend. now she's upset because she found out the truth and feels like she let him down, but imo, i think the kid is just being a brat lol. i wanna step in and make things better for her, let her know that she shouldn't feel guilty, but i don't really know how to go about it.
for context, her brother (let's call him A) basically told her that her best friend (we'll call him B) stole all his bread back when B was babysitting him. she got super upset and immediately cut B off because she loves her brother more than anything and thought B broke their trust. fast forward to now, A admitted that he lied about the whole thing because he felt like he was too mature for a babysitter (which is true to a certain extent... I GUESS...) now she feels guilty for not realizing that A hated having her take care of him like that, and she's convinced that he hates her.
here's the thing though, if A feels like he's so mature and independent, why did he feel the need to lie and cause this mess? i get that he did what he did to prove he was mature enough to take care of himself but lying to your sister and ruining her relationship with her best friend is kind of the opposite of maturity, right?
anyways, what should i do to help her? i tried asking B for A's number so i could talk to him, but B refused so now i'm stuck.
should i go over to her house when she's not around and beat him up or like... take his bread? or should i just let it go and focus on comforting her? it breaks my heart to see her sad :/
⬆️ 8 ⬇️ 💬 79
u/rainsinheaven・14 hr. ago
this seems so familiar
u/back2u・13 hr. ago
right?! omg i think this is the same uber eats driver from that love confession post
u/purplecarrot・13 hr. ago
sounds like a bunch of miscommunication and overdramatics to me
u/jjanguu・11 hr. ago
i vote to beat him up
u/mrkrabs_58・11 hr. ago
This is not related to Uber Eats
u/finickydriver141・10 hr. ago
im an uber eats driver so it IS related GTFO MRKRABS58
u/cooingpenguin・9 hr. ago
i think op is in love with the girl lmao
u/yuwushi・3 hr. ago
hi. dm me. i'm A's friend.
u/finickydriver141・2 hr. ago
prove it
u/yuwushi・20 min. ago
i can't prove it without doxxing them... just dm me bro are u a coward. what's wrong with you.
u/finickydriver141・18 min. ago
WHO THE FUCK ARE U CALLING A COWARD
u/lovable_star・2 hr. ago
convince B to give u A's number again!!! if ure preaching about maturity then communication is the best way around this whole situation
previous / masterlist / next
notes DID EVERYONE ENJOY SMTOWNNN i know i did (save me dreamies love me right cover. save me) also can u guys tell this smau is lowkey coming to an end soon (っ◞‸◟ c)
taglist @ddolbyong @nmbr1stickerenjoyer @wonpoem @jeonghansshitester @kukkurookkoo @dudekiss3r @https-yeonjun @nahyuckers @slayhaechan @luvvhaechan @chenlezip @ryuvrsie @aerivrs @snoopyjimin @yukisroom97 @snowyseungs @thegracerammy @purezitas @sundamariis @nctrawberries @sehunniepot @holyhaech @belleilichil @cyjzzl @haechology @ant-onie @n0hyuck @axo-l0tl @goquokka @jich3nle @gela0205 @irlrenjun @leevipipi @kodasity @taroddori @hyuckies18 @hibernatinghamster @renjunniex @haechyuckan @i-lovegood @chan-yeoldelling @lampcults @jae-n0 @jeongintwt @sunghoonsgfreal @injvns @sewergirlfriend @fluermeijisblog @pinklemonade34 @t-102
#nct smau#haechan#lee haechan#nct haechan#lee donghyuck#nct donghyuck#nct dream donghyuck#nct dream haechan#haechan smau#haechan social media au#haechan fake texts#haechan x reader#haechan fluff#donghyuck x reader#nct dream#nct#nct fluff#nct 127#nct 127 haechan#nct fake texts#nct social media au#nct 127 fake texts#nct dream fake texts#nct dream smau#nct dream x reader#nct 127 smau
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙love is never logical | 2023 grid˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pt3
pairing: 2023 f1 grid x nepo baby y/n prost reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, friends to lovers
warnings: spoiled nepo baby:)) 3rd & final part!! fluffy af probably
summary: in which everyone's favourite nepo baby finally feels ready to share her love story with the world ❤️
a/n: last part tehehe this was so fun to write LOL it feels so silly & ridiculous fr but hope u like it i tried to make it not super obvious who her man is but idk if it worked
request!!!: I would love a smau with reader who’s a nepo baby but is everyone’s fave nepo because she’s just living life aesthetically and the grid loves her and she’s hinting at a soft launch (idrc with which driver)
fc: gracie burns
my masterlist
part 1 • part 2 • part 3
instagram ->
ynprostupdates
liked by user12, user38, and 219,938 others
ynprostupdates an image of daniel ricciardo holding a mystery woman in an embrace from last night has been circulating, rumours saying it was y/n prost. could daniel be the mystery man that y/n has been soft launching on her social medias the past few months?
view all 18,283 comments
user1 NO WAY
user2 i thought daniel was with heidi? 😭😭
user3 well that definitely isnt heidi 💀
user4 well duh
user5 where my y/ndaniel shippers at
user6 all rise
user7 nooo i really thought it was lando
user8 where's that one y/nlance truther from twitter at right now
user9 bit of an age gap
user10 you must be new here
user11 💀💀💀
user12 that could literally be anyone, also it's ONLY A HUG!!
user13 🤔
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by landonorris, heidiberger_, and 847,192 others
yourusername my fwends
view all 8,193 comments
user14 obsessed with y/n subtly setting the record straight about daniel 💀
liked by yourusername, heidiberger_
danielricciardo i meant what i said y/n, you are banned from drinking alcohol
landonorris i second this
yourusername since when did men think they could tell me what i can & cant do? 🤔
danielricciardo since you became a danger to urself & others perhaps
heidiberger_ im on ur side btw y/n/n
yourusername knew i could count on you
user15 this feels like such a random group of people to hang out separately
user16 i dont think so they're all friends arent they?
user17 tbh i think everyone loves y/n but she does this thing every so often where she hangs out with wags & i think it's to make sure everyone knows she's not overstepping or anything
user18 y/n is my favourite (potential) wag
yourusername posted a story
liked by alex_albon, landonorris, and 538,293 others
landonorris since when were you in ireland
yourusername since like 2 hours ago
landonorris why
yourusername never been
landonorris you know a race weekend starts tomorrow right
yourusername you know we're not f1 drivers right?
danielricciardo bring me a guinness back!
yourusername y/bff/n said she'll bring it in her mouth & feed you it like a little bird
danielricciardo dont want one anymore
user19 Y/N WHY ARE YOU IN MY COUNTRY
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by lance_stroll, lilymhe, and 792,103 others
yourusername no one panic we're back on time
view all 6,294 comments
user21 was lance in ireland with her
user22 no just lily y/bff/n & some other girls apparently
landonorris slay‼️
oscarpiastri are you relaxed now
landonorris urm. yes
yourusername LOL
lance_stroll everyone cheered
lilymhe 😌😌😌
user23 i want y/n's life
user24 i just want y/n
alex_albon can i have my girlfriend back now?
yourusername for now yes
yourusername posted a story
liked by lilymhe, lance_stroll, and 827,183 others
lilymhe omg y/n
lilymhe this is so hard launch
yourusername 😭😭😭 DONT SAY THAT
lance_stroll 😧😧😧
user25 THERE'S NO WAY YOU GUYS ARENT DATING
user26 OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING
lewishamilton congratulations to you both😊
yourusername THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE A HARD LAUNCH
maxverstappen1 only took him almost beating me for you to hard launch
yourusername you STILL got no bitches max
yourusername sorry for being mean im overwhelmed right now
maxverstappen1 it's all love 🤔
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by lance_stroll, maxverstappen1, and 1742,893 others
yourusername & i fell for you like water 💧
tagged: lance_stroll
view all 43,204 comments
lance_stroll i love you ❤️
liked by yourusername
lilymhe FINALLY
yourbff thank god coz i cant keep anymore secrets
danielricciardo anymore? what else do you know?
lewishamilton congratulations for real this time!
maxverstappen1 congrats on pulling
yourusername 😘
landonorris 🎉🥳🍾🎁🎈🎊
charles_leclerc i miss you y/n please get rid of this man and return to ferrari immediately
carlossainz55 i second this
scuderiaferrari we third this
yourusername for you guys i just might😌❤️
alex_albon officially graduated from third wheel status
liked by yourusername, lilymhe
lance_stroll
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 828,103 others
lance_stroll this is me flexing
tagged: yourusername
view all 34,193 comments
yourusername 🫶🫶🫶
liked by lance_stroll
pierregasly kika is celebrating rn
yourusername my girlll😊😊
fernandoalo_official congratulations to you both 🎉‼️❤️💚
user32 this is so personal to me
user33 she is so amazing
yourbff OMG PRETTIEST GIRL ALIVE
liked by lance_stroll, yourusername
THE END 🤍
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 x reader#smau#lando norris#daniel ricciardo#alex albon#lance stroll#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#lewis hamilton#pierre gasly#oscar piastri#logan sargeant#george russell#dr3#ln4#lh44#pg10#op81#cl16#ls2#gr63#yuki tsunoda#max verstappen#mv1#maddie's smau
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daisuke x fem reader where they’re both super awkward and swansea is tired of them being oblivious to the way they feel for eachother that he makes both of his interns work on a project together
omg i totally loved writing this even tho i hcent written in a while so it might look weird? im really sorry its been a long time… (and its pretty short sorry abt that) also swansea is probably a bit ooc (i think u say it like that? idk) cause i have really bad memory so sorry abt that too…
this is set before the crash
No matter how many times the two interns tried to communicate it would always end up being awkward since everyone but them knew about their obvious crush on each other.
Nobody cares enough to help them realise that, except their boss Swansea.
That shortly explains how the three of them are now repeating the bases of engineering.
“So is that clear?” The older man looked at the young adults as they nodded.
“Great, i don’t have to repeat myself for once. Now to see how much you’ve understood try to fix this.”
He said taking an old radio that sat behind him and handed them the needed tools. He then proceeded to leave but not before giving a smirk to his interns that blushed as a reaction.
Daisuke was the first to speak up. “I didn’t actually understand all of it.”
Y/n giggled at the boy and he soon joined too. “Don’t worry… I barely managed to take some notes. Swansea isn’t really the best teacher…”
“But we don’t really have much of a choice”
“Right, so here. You can read some of my notes and umm… i guess start working.” She said handing him her notebook. He started quietly reading all of it as the girl got slowly closer and closer to read with him.
After a while Daisuke stopped and thanked her, then realised how close she’s gotten to him. Y/n panicking apologised as she didn’t notice the close distance between them.
He quickly straightened himself. “No need to apologise! We’re supposed to work together so that eventually would’ve happened, not that i mind anyways…” He muttered the last part.
Y/n raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t question it. “We should get the work started now.” She said as he nodded happily.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It has been around two hours when the two finally ended their work and were now chatting.
“Sooo… would you be free after dinner tonight?” Daisuke asked nervously, Y/n blushed at the question then smiled. “I mean… there’s not much else to do so yes. Why do you ask?”
The boy grinned and answered. “Well, i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. Would you like to play on my gameboy with me? We can take turns! And then we can eat all the sweets that i have and stay up all night!” He exclaimed out of breath.
Y/n was surprised to hear the boy so excited and soon replied. “Sure, we can do that. We’ll just have to make sure to be quiet or else we’ll wake the captain up.” Daisuke happily nodded as he watched the girl get up and wave at him.
When she left he let put a puff of air he didn’t know he was holding. “Holy moly. She’s like super cool!”
i took the gameboy idea from a daisuke fanfic on here but i dont remember the tag. sorry this is kinda short as i said i have to get used to weiting it’s been like 2 years since i last did it. maybe i’ll write about that sleepover soemtime!! (i swear this looked longer whem i wrote it on my diary)
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do you think you could explain how you do your shading/rendering :o? i'm so curious (specifically with the binary brush, if it makes any difference in how you do it)
hey hey! thankyou for the question!!! i’ll admit i’m not very good at explaining things (like. at all) but! tried my best 👍 (also super sorry anon this ask is from months ago. if i didn’t respond to your ask it’s probably just been sitting in my drafts taunting me for months)
^ this is what i do most of the time when drawing characters! generally i use rounder shapes while blocking out shadows, and you can do as many layers of this as you want! i generally don’t do highlights unless im shading darker colors (like the party’s black hair or isabeau’s sweater). i also usually shade the top half of the face! because it looks nice to me :3
^ aaaa idk how well i’m explaining this?? this is just something i Do, i didn’t really pick it up from anywhere (i mean. i didn’t pick up the hatching from anywhere either but yknow). with things like mirabelle’s hair, i do this process, but block in the highlights instead of the shadows. if you want a better example, here’s some of the rare process pics i have from a drawing i finished recently
also! going to answer an ask from. october. that’s somewhat related to this? just because i know i’ll never get to it otherwise
so i’ve genuinely been spending months trying to figure out how to answer this and the short answer is: yes absolutely you are allowed to take inspiration from my art style oh my god thank you so much and also: i can’t give tips here i’m so sorry.
i don’t really. know?? what my thought process is?? i’ve been drawing for so long that i rely more on muscle memory and what “feels right” to me. i didn’t really choose my art style, i just stumbled on it by accident. i wish you luck though, thankyou so much again!!!
(ALSO IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME 3 MONTHS TO RESPOND TO THIS ANON)
thankyou for all the compliments, hope this helps a little!!!
#marshtalkin#asks#isat spoilers#AAAAA SORRY I HAVEN’T RESPONDED TO THESE KINDS OF QUESTIONS IN AGES#ive been. preoccupied (and also exams sapped all the life out of me)#thankyou guys seriously!!!! again sorry if this isn’t explained super well#also for the record. i don’t follow these steps in order most of the time#i add hatching as i go! sometimes i add the second layer of shading before adding details!#it really just depends on how im feeling#anyways i swear ill get to those color theory asks eventually
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Hi! Question here that pop in my brain and got me curious about QPR since that is the main relationship of My Deer Nanny.
Ok, im in a hetero relationship and reading more and more radioapple has really opened my eyes to those on the Ace spectrum and the types of relationships presented jn stories, thank you Alastor for that.
Ok. So the relationship is not sexual in nature, more emotional intimacy right? So, how does falling in love feel for those in a QPR? So many of us tie falling jn love with the sexual aspect as well, especially in stories, I'm interested in learning about the other side of it. With Al and Luci, are we going to see them fall in love? (The more than anything panel with Al's reaction had me wondering)
Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask a out sex, I really enjoy the relationship in the story as QPR, and I'm super into smut, it's my go to, but I discovered QPR though this story and love it just as much as some of the other stuff I read.
Not...really sure if my question is clear...
How does emotional intimacy grow in a QPR when only 1 partner is Ace or heck, even both? How does it differ from "typical" relationships where the physical and emotional intimacy develop, if they even differ at all?
Hiiii, so imma start off with leaving this link here: QPR info
And I wanna say everyone has their own individual experiences. Language is a lovely tool, but it has its limitations. Especially with matters of the heart and mind.
In My Deer Nanny, my intention is to depict a relationship where Alastor and Lucifer grow to love each other, but it’s not “falling in love”.
So much of the fun of making this AU is using characters I adore to spotlight different depictions of love. I experience love like-every day! It’s great! (Family, friends, music, art, hobbies, and mostly my love for radioapple lol).
In the most recent post, I wanted to show Alastor’s sincere love for music intersecting with his surprise over Lucifer’s musical talent. For anyone who is also a music lover, I’m sure you have experienced the enchantment of live music and the chills you can get from an exceptional vocalist. 🤩🤤🎶
My Deer Nanny is a radioapple AU, so it is focused on the love and bond developing between Lucifer and Alastor. It’s not romantic love, but maybe a way to describe my approach could be “platonic love romanticized”??? Hmmm
IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION 🥰
#I mean it’s queer#so the nature of the relationship is to exist outside of definable boxes or societal expectations I suppose#answers#also I don’t want to describe exactly how I’m showing emotional and physical intimacy develop between these two#because imma be showing it whenever I draw new chapters lol#my deer nanny
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I yap about Forever + Falling with you
Forever being the end song to murder drones- and its lyrics being what they are
gives me the impression Murder Drones was a big love story about opening up and trust hidden under mounds of comedy and violence
And I dont mean that it ACTUALLY is, its more just.. a silly little feeling I get when i listen to it
Theres something about the song thats so... cozy? So like, softly spoken. A very hummable melody from one lover to another.
also falling with you, like what the fuck
never in my life have I felt a track was so carefully crafted- and prepared, carved out for two specific characters in one specific moment.
She made the choice to sacrifice herself- for him. In her eyes it was the end and if at the end of everything she could guarantee the life of one person it was going to be the one she loves, she didnt know what would be at the other end,
The thing is, he wanted to be there for her. Even when they're knocking on deaths door, he needs to be there.
Its like trust fall exercise, except the focus isnt on 'catch me' cause they'd never let the other fall,
its about making sure they dont fall when youre not looking. It hurts both parties, to crash without warning and to see the one you love fall
I *love* that they dont speak here. She looks to the side, shifting her glances before looking at him.
An unspoken guilt ridden apology.
The response he chooses?
forgiveness,
Even if the result of her actions hurt him- her intentions were good and meant to be entirely in favor of him
And in this moment, with their current history and with a yet to be seen future, he forgives her,
Cause at the very least, they're together again. He could save her.
And her look just, screams thank you to me.
Thank you for forgiving me, saving me-
for everything :) /ref
lighthearted preparation for whats to come :)
legitimately, what she says, reiterating herself "die mad bitch"
knowing theyre heading into the end of the world to prevent it?? Theyre going off to the fucking trenches together, key word this time being together
And then the horrible unexpected !
Uzi is ripped away from N, confronted with what her home has become, the universe is practically screaming at her to fix it, pushing her towards the end without mercy
But shes not doing it alone, she cant do it alone, not again, not this time
And he wouldnt let her
The universe could endlessly attempt to wield its cosmic grasp to push these two apart but itd never work, itd never end with them alone
Their love- their pure devotion to each other,
is so celestial in its own right
Not super related to my ramble but i love that in them becoming official (I will not call this a confession, N definitely confessed the previous episode)
Uzis so.. wagh.. her eyes.
That trademark look of panic or worry- I mean what would you expect from the black sheep of the colony? Being excluded on the daily, left to your own abandoned devices?? The reassurance she was requesting just, ughh.. my heart...
and the way. He fucking looks at her
Its so, soft. He knows she has not a thing to worry about. His heart is completely and utterly hers. Where most would die for their love, he lives for her.
The universe would be dammed to ever try and separate pure unbridled love like this ever again
ERM< ANYWAY that was super gay ew idk why im like. obsessed with their relatinshuio ahhajfhdgjbsjhfm someone blow me up
#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#nuzi#a really long yapsesh about nuzi#god save me#chat#i thinki have a new favorite scene#oopsieee#md posting#periphrastic etiquette
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Hey! I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your drawings ! It has so much life in it, and I don’t know how you come up with those amazing designs for Link but they’re incredible! I never have enough imagination, lol 🥲😅. Seriously, what you do is so great that I’m at a loss for words… Anyway, I support you wholeheartedly, so keep up the amazing work!
Also, if you don’t mind, I’d love to know how you manage to create such dynamic poses and expressions in your drawings; I always struggle with that, haha.
Aaaaaa,I know I’m talking a lot, but are you still working on “Reversal of Fate”? If so, I’d love a little drawing of Link, if that’s not too much trouble 🥺☺️. But if you’re too busy, that’s totally okay too! 😊
WAAAAHHHHHH!!! Thank you sooo much this really means a lot like actually 🧡🧡🧡🧡 I love your art it’s so nice to look at and I get super excited when it pops up on my feed!!! (I especially LOVE ur sksw Zelda and Link designs ^^)
I also value the reversal of fate link fanart you did so much,,, 😢😢😢 Your support means sooo much
I feel as tho ur art already is so fluid and fun so idk if this is actually gonna help u much :( but if it does in any way then yipeeeee !!
Something I wanna add for improving posing (or anatomy, it really helped me with it) is doing figure drawing! There’s great online websites with models that u can sketch and just get better at doing good posing quick :D Or using reference in general,,,, my art is so messy tho, there’s so many better artists you should look for help to haha IM SO SO SORRY IF THIS DIDNT HELP AT ALLLL
About reversal of fate, yes I am still working on it!!!! I haven’t been posting about it because there are some lore asks I’ve gotten that have been kinda intimidating me so I’ve been quiet about it ehehe
Here’s some rof Link (right one is a sneak peek at a piece I’m working on which I’ll probably post in like so long from now bc there’s so much I have to work on urghhhhhh) ;)
Thanks for the lovely ask 🧡
#art#bad art advice lol#drawing#legend of zelda#link#zelda fanart#digital art#fanart#zelda#link fanart#ask#my art#reversal of fate clowns0up#reversal of fate#rof link#Loz rof#art tips#drawing tips#sneak peek#tloz#Loz#totk#switched au#Zelda au#au#totk au#the legend of zelda#doodle#Sketch#doodle requests
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