#but also i'm already here yknow
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hey!! weird question (?)
what do you think abt twt's block thing?? are u planning to move here o somewhere else?
it's cus' i'm at twt and i am a little taken back abt moving from twt...
i dont think he's actually going to remove blocks bc its a requirement for an app to have a blocking feature for it to be downloadable on app stores. I think he's just throwing a fit.
but also, not too big of a deal in my circumstance. like worst case scenario a tcest account finds my art and i have to just mute them.
#i love the block feature but i think it'll be fine i mean#listen muting a person is pretty helpful too#ask#but also i'm already here yknow#LMFAOOO#like im already on tumblr#i post here regularly#no need to move anywhere if i lose a room because of rats over taking it i'll just lock the door
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#still yakuza lmao#I don't remember which day I started it but it was definitely no earlier than the 30th#I think I didn't start until I actually got holiday packages into the mail on the 3rd.#my partner started playing it like the day after it got released for switch#which I think was late october?#but he has like. a job. so he's just been playing an hour here a couple hours there yknow#we are both very much getting our money's worth though lol#I try to stop playing by midnight but I didn't manage that today -n-#I really wanted to find the last 2000 yen bill without looking it up but I was Struggling#(I did find it tho)#I've still got a decent amount of stuff left to do#even discounting the completion list stuff that doesn't interest me like the gambling#which I might at least try to do anyway#but we're both in chapter 9 of the main story now (although he's already a ways in)#(and I technically haven't done the last conversation of chapter 8 but I did all the actual Doin Stuff)#it sounds like there's probably 10 chapters from a thing I saw having to look up where majima was hiding the first time?#that's the only thing I've looked up so far though.#anyway I'm having fun#this is why I refused to start playing yakuza until I finished my holiday crafts.#oh wait I also looked up a clarifying explanation on one of the dragon moves you have to learn#I wanna do as much of it as I can without external guides#update from the next day I was incorrect about there being 10 chapters yay :)#more game for meeeee
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i'm so extremely irrationally annoyed by people not knowing what various terms mean and using them incorrectly like i feel like that's such an asshole thing to care about but oh my god stop
#the saddest part is this post was inspired by the term hard launch. again#many other things also though it's not just that#and yes i knowwwww the hard launch debate is tired#and it's not even an important term it's a fucking meme#well it is a term but yknow. it's hardly academic#but i just saw someone say that if you just know how to infer things you'll understand dnp have already hard launched#girl 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#world's most unserious and unimportant topic I'm Aware#i don't even mean it in a way of like 'they haven't hard launched yet i hope they do soon' like what the fuck ever#but oh my god why do you think the term soft launch exists.#why would you have two terms if they're the same am i losing my mind here#does no one have the ability to think at all#oh my god???????#this is so stupid 😭😭😭 i need to worry about real issues i know i know im aware#but can everyone stop being DUMB#fucks sake#sorry.
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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Took my little brother to school with me and all he did was nibble my homework >:(
#howl's boring life#I'm not using twitter anymore but haven't bothered making a bsky bc i have smth wrong in my head where doing basic things is impossible#but i have so many things i want to share and I haven't made a personal post on tumblr in years#tags are the only place i feel comfortable#and my bestie is dealing w his fiance having a literal psychotic episode so I can't share my pointless shit w him#and even if no one reads a tweet or tags or whatever it feels helpful yknow?#anyway i just found out that I'll need to retake chem and bio to get into the vet tech program#and chem is already waitlisted for spring and wouldnt work w the other two classes and work#and the program only opens applications once a year so I'll have to wait until fall 2026 to start if i can't apply before this dec31#i had to miss work today bc of a cold w a fever and tomorrow is the holiday party :(#99% of my coworkers are great but there's a small little clique headed by a life sucking evil bitch#that makes me feel so stressed and bullied and awful#i mean the vitch has been outright hostile rude and unprofessional to me but like#im a pushover and also barely out of probationary period I can't just roll up with complaints about a three year employee#despite everyone else agreeing that she's fucking awful and they can't stand her and she's had a run in with every single one of them#man it's so hard when you get paid shit#i hope I can get promoted to assistant after my externship and stop being hamstrung like an idiot#I'm not allowed to draw up nemex??? hello??? it's harmless and i know how to read a syringe?#there's a lot going on in life and i want to cry all the time#but i do like my work at least. on days that vile woman isn't there#anyway here's mom's dog i took him to class w me a few weeks ago#and also yesterday he's a big hit#final's on thursday! certification exam is jan 10 so im this 🤏 close to being an approved veterinary assistant#I WANNA POKE SOME CRITTERS!!!!
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i was trying to make up side characters for @8um8le's space friends and thought "every show needs a grump"
i'm not gonna finish this though, so y'all can have it now o7
#2024#in which crown gets hogtied lmao#stellar city#sc space friends#sf hills#sf crown#sf roach#you might be thinking 'ezra there is already a bug character' to which i say: i like bugs there are never enough bugs#i wanted roach to have a hat that keeps his face in permanent shadow bc it makes him look angrier and more menacing if just a bit#it's also silly thinking like… he looks tall compared to the boys but he's probably only like 5'5'' at best haha#i think it'd be funny if roach was like jarringky kind to everyone other than the main boys#like he takes his hat off and holds it too his chest and does a lil bow with a sweet smile#and the boys are like wtf you only hate us??? and yes yes he does#man… i have never drawn more comics than when i started hyperfixating on sun and moon that's so wild#actually i think almost all the stuff i've drawn since that started in sept have made me so happy#feels like my love of art increased tenfold it's insane#and that love feels the most prominent when i'm just… doodling other people's au and oc on here lately yknow?#so much joy packed in that even if they never see it: this was just some normal person's little world that i get to visit for a little while#that's so special to me#anyway that's probably too much introspection for today so!#thanks for reading these tags if you did :) i hope you all have a lovely day xoxoxo
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Being trans and having daddy issues means I will watch Treasure Planet regularly for the most of my life, and whenever I do I become obsessed with it all over again. It's normal and healthy, actually
#this movie is the same age as me#idk how old i was when i first saw it but like#i was a wee child#im assuming like. i was around 6 maybe#picking that age kinda at random cause i genuinely dont know lmao#when we were kids my cousin had a shiiiit ton of pirated movies on CDs and wed watch them whenever i visited#and when she was choosing wed usually watch barbie or just random disney movies#but when i was choosing it was road to el dorado or treasure planet#i remember us having literal arguments over this#like#but we've SEEN treasure planet already when you last visited two weeks ago!!!#i will never get bored of that movie#22 years old and still one of my faves ever#even more so now. yknow. since the tranny w daddy issues thing#i mean ive always loved mr silver as a father figure im just more conscious of that now#and also i want him carnally#i want him in both ways. yeah im versatile#jfjdjdjsndj#anyway i just watched it for the literal millionth time and crode on I'm Still Here as usual#treasure planet#mr silver#bee buzz
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ogey, adding "digi!ren" (nickname tbd) -- a desktop buddy / ukagaka / shimeji au for ren -- to the f/o list! even if he eventually leaves the top romantic category, he's kyoot :) his tag is 💾 [ live in parallel. ] , and here's his key song lala (his true key song is smth else but. no good lyrics for his tag :/// )
#ALSO! going thru my drafts! i'm just gonna answer outstanding asks without fumbling around how long it's been hhhhh#bc we're all already aware ;;; and i know i'm still gonna be in and out of here while my health is like [gestures] This.#i just want to make the first moves to get things going again ^^ right now more than ever i miss being part of the little#corner of the community i'm in. and thinking about that is a shining light while things seem so dark right now.#also once i'm back in the swing of things here i'm gonna go back and really pare down my carrd. i think i enjoyed selfshipping more#and stressed about it less when i didn't feel like i had to stick to a strict 'plot'. yknow? i'm becoming more aware that i've been#putting artificial writing / organizational pressure on myself here + on the Other Selfship Blog + on the ren blog.#this is for funsies. no anxiety only smiles. (joking but also this is supposed to be fun... not Duty... ;;;)#anyway. again. no promises on anything anymore blah blah i always doom myself when i promise smth while my body is#turning to dust hhghghgh but i'm Starting!!! i love all of the art and writing y'all have posted and ppl WILL see it!!!!#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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@darehearts || cont.
Oh, now this—! This was a dude Leo could get behind: a big special important captain who hadn't just started out as pristine perfection and basically been the “everybody loves me” type of guy since birth. See? That's how we do things. That's relatable. To some extent. Leo might have been a captain (or commander: same difference) of his own sea- and sky-faring vessel (minus space . . . but maybe eventually) and had a few run-ins with the law, too, but would he ever be as likeable and special . . . ? Debatable.
Gods, now we're writing poetry. Better start talking so the thoughts stop.
“Whoa, dang, you've died too?” Maybe someone smarter would've handled this with more care, and maybe if Mr. Speed-Junkie-Turned-Captain hadn't been just as casual about it, Leo might've expertly side-stepped the revelation. Maybe. But at least this time he had an excuse for lacking tact: he was feeding off of the adult's energy here. (And adults knew best . . . or something or somesuch.) “Man, I can't even brag about that anymore; it's like a thing people just do nowadays.”
His lips pursed. Leo scowled at nothing in particular for a lingering beat before his attention drifted back, and he blinked like he'd forgotten he was even in this conversation. “But, uh . . . I mean, yeah! You look great, now, so . . . congratulations on that, er . . . sir—?”
#darehearts#(v: main)#(prose)#aaaa absolutely NO obligation to continue this but i had to reply!! ;v;#jim is such a sweetie and i love seeing you both on the dash! <3#plus i was cracking up over these two both being VERY DIFFERENT kinds of “captain”#and also both 8'))) casually dying ?? let's uh... let's go ??#but yknow naturally that's something we can just joke about and pretend wasn't scarring at all! :D#leo does super admire him already tbqh u.u#not him over here like “omg you used to be a screw-up too ??? MAN maybe there IS hope for me holy fffffff”#spoiler alert: there isn't#AWNJOHANDOA KIDDING kidding i'm sure he can get there ;A;#and having folks like jim to look up to is massively helpful for sure! ;w;/
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My fem!SQQ & fem!LBH sims are available for download Here!
♡ - Includes Tray files and CC for the characters only - no clothes/accessories are in the folder ♡ - Please do not claim the sims as your own creation! ♡ - my photo lighting is Gentle CAS Lighting ♡ - if you use them in your game and post about it, I'd love to see :)
#I made an 'official' sort of rules post on twitter for use of my sims stuff so I thought I'd upload it with the same text here#yknow in case twitter crashes and burns dskfkd#I'm mostly writing my rules based on other people who post their sims up for download#my fem!SQH sim is also in the folder already! though#as well as the LBH/Donghua posters i put in SQQ's room#I'll probably just make seperate things for each post though so you know wtf ur downloading from the internet#sims 4#ts4#svsss sims#my sims#svsss#luo binghe sim#shen qingqiu sim#thank you to all cc creators!!
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got like 1200 ish lines of code for a thing in like 2 hours yippeee
it's a thing to make it easier to modify stuff for mario kart 64 it'll make my life 1000x easier i just have to enter a few numbers in and out comes a file i can apply to the game with some other program instead of having to copy and paste stuff for like half an hour to an hour every time i want to make changes
a game changer you could say *gets dragged away by the neck like a cat*
#listen this is such a big deal to me#and only me bc i'm the only person in the world who cares about doing this very very specific thing for a very specific game#now after this is done i can get my changes to the game ready in like an hour at most depending on what i want to change#instead of a few hours#if i just wanna change stats and not characters that means i just open the program and put in the numbers then have the game ready in like#5 minutes#massive improvement#but yknow if i want to change the characters too then it's still gonna take a bit#like 30 minutes to an hour but still a massive improvement#anyways yeah you can probably tell i'm excited about this#once this is done i'll maybe start working on getting the proper graphics update to the game#it's gonna be a rebranding on my mk64 pokemon thing to make it distinct from another thing someone made that was called pokemon kart alread#didn't really care all that much before since i didn't want to make it public or at least not in mk64 circles but i do wanna share it more#now that i've put this much work into it#since i'm already using pmd sprites i might as well change it to something related to pmd so i'm gonna have to come up with a title for it#also have some fun character surprises for when i release the new rebranded version#since last time i showed it here there have also been a lot of new pokemon added but i have some i haven't shown yet to anyone#not even in the places i playtest with others (if you see this mo hi i have some more i haven't shown off ;3)#but it might be a while before i get that to a public release#we'll see#depends on how i feel about working on it these next few days#so it's gonna be a surprise release
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it's been like 9 years and the undertale ost is still as great as the first time i listened to it
I remember i learned about this game because my bro told me about it and I watched him play it, back when it was fairly new (no big boom yet). I thought it was neat & funny but y'know what is the part that made go "oh, i love you forever"? the shop theme
#yomiel speaks#If you've been here for a while yknow how much i looooove deltarune. I'm excited for the game to be finished someday#But i dont about its older sibling a lot. I do love it too i assure you. I still love the backgrounds so much#Idk what to say that hasnt been said already ⚙️💭 It's A Fun Game With A Good Cast and Great Music#I mean. I also love undertale yellow. It'd be unudual if i liked a fan prequel and not the original game its based on AHAHAHDHFJ#Man now i wanna replay UT Yellow. I miss that sheriff sometimes <:]#Oh god wait. Hard-working charming southern man with eyewear. Looks between starlo and engie. Good lird do i have a type
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i need to shut the fuck up about my name before i just start to annoy y'all i'm sorry i haven't stopped complaining abt it i don't even know why it's causing such a problem for me
#personal.txt#i just AHHHHHHHHHH#like why am i out here calling my friends shit like ally bug and i'm just “megan” or at best “meg”#sorry guys i spent my childhood being isolated by a cult and missing out on what i consider key experiences like having friends and family#develop cute little nicknames for you and now that i'm like yknow hitting adulthood and stuff all the little things that i feel i've#already missed the chance of ever having are hitting me like a ton of bricks#also my entire junior high experience of TRYING to change my name when i was experimenting with gender and sexuality and literally nobody#not even my “progressive” queer friend group would respect it or call me by the name i asked#FUCK#it's fine#i'm fine#i'm just moving on with my life and moving on to a completely different stage and realizing that i missed out on literally everything#because of how i was and that's shit i just don't get to redo
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speaking of bsol through speaking of xmas xtrav that like i'm so augh god hand over heart falling over (just like the bloodsong b/c it's the like conclusion of being Overwhelmed By Artistic Effect that then in the ideal version you may as well die) at the thought of the finale where you have the main plot conclude as that Story w/those Themes like ah but even then, the influence, the other the musicians now, that this whole time like yeah you have to do it even if you just keep building or die or were thwarted even prior to that b/c you didn't know you wouldn't be....but that then just like in the opening song Outlaw or sort of distillation of the theme abt being someone making art Last On Land or that at other points other characters have emerged as not really their characters not really a greek chorus but elements of the story helping to Tell It, here's Everyone again for the friendship song altogether & each with an instrument & like not even able to see it but pics & imagining & the enthusiasm & the Thematic Resonance like this is when you are pursuing these pursuits together like _o__ (splayed out facedown emoji) aaauuughhh ;;mm;; bsol finale with everyone showing up playing & singing & dancing the song celebratory finale it's all the Theme when the full cast of Characters had only ever all been together for the one standoff scene at the end & yet obviously We've known them all & everyone is outlaws which is a song like i'm already going sicko mode & this is just the intro, so yknow, The Conclusion, good lord find an iconis musical finale without that place for the celebratory outpouring of enthusiasm right amidst other feelings & situations but Good Lord Here's This in a story that'll always have been all about people's depths & heights & widths & breadths & variations & tumult & all the dimensions, people will have Brought It all over the place & it's like yes leap around together playing & singing this song together which isn't The Story but is such an extension of it b/c bsol has its show within the show quality still infused all in it & if this flurry of Actors Celebrating Outpouring We Put On This Show but still within the show you are seeing as an audience in this venue wouldn't have been part of the original plan with a whole [outside the show within the show] plotline like. embraces bsol holding it so hard my becherished
#bsol#& in true xmas nature yknow like yeah i think of the whole show like wwaaughh think of the baby please come home like Aauuuughhh#think of specific moments within & none of those make me weep but they do make me go omg & woww yayy & clap & cheer & caper & gambol#but what everything has been: all about its central theme & bsol/xmas playing w/& sending up Genre Conventions we all know & thus can be#enough on the same page about so as to then be on the same page abt what's Unexpectedly done w/them but it's not just about#like oh we do this to be Above it b/c it's also done abt genre convention stuff that's enjoyed & interesting to its creator here so#that also as ever the Heart of w/e the genre stuff being messed with is Earnestly Kept & that's what all this is used to express things#with in addition to being able to have fun & explore things that plausibly a completely straightforward recreation type homage couldn't#or couldn't do as well without sacrificing one or the other vs if you're already doing an open like remix playing with exploration; then...#the conclusion of the xmas show isn't yeah i love xmas isn't that cringefail of me. yeah these xmas special media we're working off of#isn't that all so silly & no matter how much i love it it's important to end up Above It. like nobody's here to be above shit good god#soooo much more you can do if you don't have to prioritize That central theme. [you & me; We're superior] undermines Anything Else#while never holding yourself as Apart & Better lets anything else grow & flourish & have the Capacity & Flexibility to be & do whatever#the villain as an emotional reflection of part of the hero / representing a Possible Version of them; not Who They Could Never Be#as Only a force to be overcome with your greater force; though naturally yes the villain creates conflicts & stakes & obstacles#& in these so very genrey xmas bsol situations i'm clapping cheering go also very fun & funny little villain who kills you Gooo#100% this bitch Oh No Not Miserthorpe Krampington Thornwassail Cocodrilo that's right you fucks ahahahaaa >:) die btw#thinking about specific parts of bsol like oh wow oh yay oh this fun turn into this bit oh what a scene what a song wahooo#then overall like lying back reaching up Bloodsong....#thinking of the finale friendship song actors as actors ish characters ish ft. instruments 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (one each)#this mf (gesturing to myself who'll inevitably fire up Outlaw.mp3 at any moment & go Augh the harmonica the harmonies the chorus The This)#also that obviously i get to have a delightful time going well so of course lo cocodrilo is gay; perhaps & trans; &....
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