#but also i just wanted to draw gay ppl in love

[muckyschmuck]

ultimately!

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[splankie]

call me a jasonologist if you will

[skrunksthatwunk]

im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position

[andromeddog]

hello there fellow gay ww1 enthusiast :D

*pointing dramatically through the crowd* ah hello!!!! there are others out there…. the few the proud….. through posting this stuff online i’ve met a handful of other gay ppl who are into this era but a majority have been what i have to assume are straight guys who really like war and guns and war movies with guns! so it is always nice to find community here and there :^)

[lightningfilledsaber]

I really need to plan holiday themed art in advance

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

[snekdood]

i really dont get the whole "violent thing as a metaphor for queer stuff" thing, like at all

[hoodedjelly]

my Jenny, Tuck, Brad, Shelden, and Vega older designs ^__^

i'm watching mlaatr, still not done, i think i got like 10 more eps (and if i'm being transparent i skipped around eps... i just wanted to see vega...). And i'm absolutely loving the show!!!! i love these characters a lot, didn't like Shelden at first i'm going to be honest, #1 Shelden hater for a bit there. but he chilled out in season two and i started to ship breldon with that too so now i just love him so much.

more about my personal headcanons:

Jenny: - I am under the belief that she is transgender. Jenny was made genderless, so her deciding to be a girl was strictly her choice and i believe that makes her trans. (She's also a lesbian) - she did grow a bit, im not gonna explain how idc really i just liked her being a taller lady :-) - she has A LOT of different cute outfits and hair styles, honestly too much to draw. she never transforms back into her base show outfit when crime fighting, she just fights in her cute summer dress she don't care. - her and vega are dating grrgrgrrrr - when vega is in rule she makes it so there is complete free access between earth and cluster prime for citizens in both places. - I say that cause i think when jenny is older she moves in with vega, technically living in cluster prime but visits earth like everyday. And brad/shelby/tucker/wakeman visit cluster prime - Jenny also hangs out with the nicktoons unite gang, but i deffo feel like its just that secondary friend group that you don't talk to with for months. when you talk again its the same goofiness as before - i think danny calls for her help when he needs it (also manny) Tuck: - he is still a little shit but we love him - adhd boy - questioning cis (he/him) - he got into robotics/stem and builds little silly things - with that, he gets help from Shelby - pretty much just a silly teen, he's on the internet a lot and has "cringe" interests - but idk he's having fun and being silly and finding himself (those interests is stuff like sonic and among us) Shelden(Shelby) - honestly kinda nervous about ppl thoughts on my Shelden, idk it makes so much sense in my brain - hits you with the transfem beam (she/they) Pansexual (she just wants anyone type of vibe) - I think when jenny is visiting vega often that leaves Shelby and Brad hanging out alone a lot. which they don't mind honestly, they are actually good friends! - but during that they just get closer and start catching feelings. Shelby eventually lets go of her feelings about jenny and realizes they were a real jerk and weirdo to her. brad helps them through that and eventually her realizing she's trans. blah blah they in love and kiss at some point. - Shelby is also a furry lmaooo her fursona is a cat.

Brad: - bisexual cis man (he/him) - Still his old brad self if i'm being honest. - totally forgot to say i think all 3 of them go off to college together (even though jenny doesn't have to i feel like she would prob want to just for the experience, but tell me if you think differently i'm still unsure) - i really don't know what else to say sorry brad! he's literally just as silly as ever man. he's just also gay - i will say here i feel it takes a lot longer for shelby and brad to start dating then jenny and vega. they got that slow burn kinda shit going on, since a lot of that is shelby being confused about her feelings. and jenny and vega just hit it off right away if im being honest, very high school sweethearts. - (also i think shelby makes brad make a fursona to match hers, so brad got a dog fursona)

Vega: - Lesbian cis (she/her) - That ending of her just ruling cluster prime was just so crazy to me cause like, aint she like 16? - i think she has a lot of stressed nights and fearing she's not doing the right thing for her people, and jenny tries to help as much she can - that is why jenny visits so much, she wants to help her. - very much got those nights were she accidently falls asleep at her desk, jenny finding her and giving her a blanket and a kiss goodnight - it's not like she's unhappy, she is actually very very passionate about her work and wants to NOT be like her mom - and yeah she deffo goes to robo therapy for the stuff with her mom. - i think it's a conflict where vega is scared her mom is gonna come back and jenny has to reassure her that if she does they'll get rid of her for good.

imma be honest a lot of my hcs are pretty half-baked and random things, im sure im going to think of more stuff in the future but that will be in different posts.

[industrations]

will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.

This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.

Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.

Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.

My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.

Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.

Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.

Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[gotchiccat]

I love em and they make me happy. <3

//BTW. I'm about to rant a little bit, so if ya'll don't wanna see that just ignore and lookit the purdy gay drawing//

I dunno how to say this without coming across as some "BF x GF haterrrr" but I have an attachment and find enjoyment doing this ship more, mostly cause it feels like BF x GF is the "acceptable ship" because it's "straight" like at the start of the fandom I rlly like GF and I enjoyed making a poly ship with GF, Pico, and BF. Cuz like GF's adorbs and she is the main gal for the main game.

But if ppl weren't so toxic and overly protective of BF x GF to the point ppl harass anyone that DARES to ship em with other ppl or make a Pico x BF mod I wouldn't have ended up disinterested in this ship or feel uncomfortable.

The only reason I'm able to on rare times make BF x GF specifically is when the main game reminds me WHY they are an adorable couple that will stick by each other.

Also, unimportant salt.

Because mods over focus on making GF look like she's a super model for a vogue magazine with big boinkydoinkies and pay little to no attention to BF because he's a dude, admittedly it just makes me even more salty cuz there's so much that can be done for a pretty hawt BF design but mod makers are just too much of big cowards to do it.

Yeah. I said it.

So if I ever draw GF again out of pure spite, I WILL put her in baggy pants or a tuxedo. (She'll still look good in em)

Anyways, that's all my salt.

I just wanted to get it out there since people have asked me prior why I don't put GF that often in my stuff.

I don't hate her ya'll, it's just stuff that happens in a fandom that just make me groan.

[bleep-bloop-boo]

₊˚✧ ✰ ‧₊˚✧ ✰ ◡̈ ✧ INTRO ✧ ◡̈ ✰‎ ✧˚₊‧ ✰‎ ✧˚₊

hihihihihihhihihi WELCOME TO MY VERY AMAZING AND TOTALY NOT CHAOTIC MESS OF A BLOG :DD IM PRETTY FRIENDLY, COME SAY HI!!! OPEN TO ALL appropriate ASKS AND DMS!!! This is a big mess of all my interests hehe Reblog heavyyy i love making friends so plss flood my DMs, i love meeting ppl (i will act weird tho, this is a warning) esp to give me recs for books/shows/media in general I thrive on chaos. PLEASE GIVE ME RANDOM ASKS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE spam me MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN IF ANYONE WANTS TO VENT!!! (i may not be the best at comforting but I can listen <33)

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Matching banners with @gay--gh0st THEYRE SO TALENTEDD, THEY DREW ITT go follow em, right now, they're awesome :DD Also, I did not draw my own pfp unfortunately :(( It was my irl friend who's tumblr I do not know....... yet >:)

MY OTHER ACCOUNTS:

@that-dam-heartstopper-fan convinced me to make a pjo rp account! if i followed a rp account, its meant to be from @delilah-isnt-dead-yett

follow @evilforestcult for my chaotic ADHD with @fairyycoffin godly mysteries AND @i-eat-so-much-grass gremlin vibes

i also have a Mitchell blog (from pjo)!! its for a rp group with me, @that-dam-heartstopper-fan and @boba-pearl. GO FOLLOW @the-forgotten-son-of-aphrodite

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☁︎ You can call me Honey! Or any other nicknames! I LOVE NAMES THAT MAKE NO SENSE <333 (@graysonhawthorneswife has declared its Honey Honeyington) ☁︎ Pronouns: she/her ☁︎ Age: I'm a minor (no being weird okay?) and heading to 10th grade! ☁︎ Time Zone: PST (im a california gurl, yes, i am ✨magical✨)

🎧★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𓋼 MUSIC 𓋼𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★ 🎧

✰ CAVETOWN <33 ✰ PENELOPE SCOTT ✰ MADILYN MEI ✰ Taylor Swiftt hehe ✰ Olivia Rodrigo ✰ musical soundtracks 𖦹 SIX the musical 𖦹 hamilton 𖦹 HEATHERS <333 𖦹 the lightning thief 𖦹 EPIC the musical GIMME RECS FOR GOOD ROCK/INDIE MUSIC TO LISTEN TO PLEASEEEE, LIKE FLOOD MY INBOX WITH SONGS

★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𓋼 FANDOMS 𓋼𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★

✰ Percy Jackson (Books) ✰ School Bus Graveyard (Webtoon) ✰ Owl House (Show) ✰ Your Turn to Die (Video Game) ✰ Gravity Falls (Show) ✰ Avatar the Last Airbender (Show) ✰ Hunger Games (Books) ✰ Miraculous Ladybug (Show) ✰ Homesick (Webtoon) ✰ Doki-Doki Literature Club (Video Game) ✰Jackson's Diary (Webtoon) IF YOU KNOW/LIKE ANY OF THEM SCREAM AT ME PLEASE, ILL SCREAM BACK PROLLY!!! WE CAN BE A BUNCH OF SQUAWKING CROWS TOGETHER!!!

★ 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𖥧 MORE ABOUT ME :DD 𖥧 𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 ★

I'm an ENFP (mbti nerd hehe)

Hufflepuff <33

Can't spell... Good luck figuring out what im saying!

very deranged when prompted

MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE (abelists, pls DNI)

GIANT ALLY (homophobes/transphobes, pls DNI)

Hyperactive and very random! (lemme know if you're overwhelmed by that sorta stuff, ill try to tone it down :) )

Chatterbox! Love talking, just can't start conversations! DM or send me asks though!

very very curious, love talking to ppl about studies and fun facts

Character my friends associate me with and I relate to the most: Luz Noceda from the Owl House

My vibes are all over the place- (im emo, cutesy, and chaotic)

I MISS TONS OF SOCIAL CUESS!!! I'm trying to work on it but if i ever overstep my boundaries or make you uncomfy, pleasee let me know <33 im just a bit oblivious sometimes

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My amazing moots! You all make me so happy :DD (pleaseee remind me to add you or take you off <33 ) @ashthenerdtheythem @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @whyamionthisgodforsakensite @queen-of-weird-girl-nation @boredcoldandhungry @nosanehumanallowed @roselandsrl @apollocabinrep @mybedroomceilingsbored @gay--gh0st @catinasink @redmegarex @chaoticgremlin-1 @totalcharliespringsimp @cabin-7-bitch @lunarcat982 @chriscrosswallflower-blog @obsessingoverl @pretentious-media @small-giggle @rose-bug-bear @aheartstopperfan @dandelionsarenotweeds @rookhuntt @i-eat-so-much-grass @justafrogghost @fairyycoffin @th3-st4r-gur1 @brains-out-rn @arsenic-laced-tums @dracosleftarsecheek @boba-pearl @tarantulaluv @rainydaywithcats @touslin @gay-little-isopod @ali-da-demon @kairos-in-space @thebookshelflord

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Okieeee I THINK THATS IT :OO i am done aesthicifyingfjhjjendndjfgh my into post!! I have no tagging system so uhhhhh my blog is pretty much the equivalent of screaming into the void :)) Have fun in my little corner of chaos and pleaseeeeeeee say hi, i love talking with ppl and making friends!!!

Thanks for reading! (its a lot, ik, i blabber, i tried to bold key parts) Boop! Bye <33

[nightcolorz]

Devils minion brainrot has taken over me body and soul….. idk if armand ever went back to painting/visual art in general but I’m literally weak in the knees imagining Armand getting Daniel to pose for figure drawings RAHHHHH!!! Or like bc Daniel is a writer, writing gay ass passages/poetry in his journal !!!!!! Somebody sedate me, the Autism is autisming

OMG!!! The symbolic implications of Armand painting Daniel is making me CRAZY!!!!! Ahhhh omg anon ur mind is huge and beautiful. I love this sm u have no idea

Imagine post Canon Armand does start to paint again, for the first time since he was a child and an ikon painter, for the first time since he lost that skill due to his trauma induced memory loss, and omg he decides to paint Daniel. It would be such a powerful reclamation of his identity. Armand was a religious ikon painter. As a child his passion and skill for painting was interpreted as strictly spiritual and strictly for the benefit of the adults in his life, so he only painted ikons. And so when Armand is sold into slavery his positive connection to spirituality is ruined and lost due to his sexual trauma induced religious guilt and memory loss regarding his history. so armand looses any passion or even ability to paint, bcus it is inseparable from his connection to religion. So!!! By both choosing to paint as a hobby for his own enjoyment, and choosing to paint *Daniel* 🥹 Armand is taking back a skill of his that he was only ever exploited and interpreted as “other” for, and he’s making it about him, and what he wants, and who he is, and who he loves 🥹❤️. Also, by painting Daniel, when he’s only rlly ever painted Ikons, the implication is that Daniel is divine and godly to him which is just 🥹 so so sweet and meaningful. Idk if u had this interpretation in mind with ur head canon so I hope u don’t mind me rambling about this, but omg u gave me some huge thoughts thank u !!!

the idea of Daniel writing about Armand has symbolic value to omggg. Armand has never rlly been seen or loved for who he is in his entirety, and he has never been written about or artistically portrayed in a way that embraces who he is, and doesn’t objectify or dehumanize him. So Daniel writing about Armand the way he sees him, the monster who kills ppl to live, the young man with the sweetest, most human laugh, the predatory insect, the son of a bitch, his lover, that would be like, world shaking for Armand 😭❤️ he barely knows who he is, and seeing who he is from the perspective of someone who loves him unconditionally would be so important to him

thank u SM for this ask omggg I’m autisming right there with u

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Eps 30-33 Commentary

No meta, just reactions! I have less to say about some eps so I'm combining several episodes worth. To make up for my head-emptiness and lack of meta, I've included more pictures lmao. Spoilers under the cut!

Ep 30:

"You really are pitiful." Li Lun waking up thinking of ZYC's words oooh they did that opening line for Li Lun/ZYC lovers (me)

What a homoerotic way to give the Truth Eye

ZYC and ZYZ having their first drink(s) together here, ZYZ and Li Lun having one last game of chess here. Gay ppl will go “I know a place” and take you to a damp cave and a little stone table in the Wilderness

Oof. The apparent inherence of winning/losing in their activity of choice compared to the drinks that took place here between ZYC and ZYZ. Even with a draw, it’s competitive by nature. If Li Lun knew about the three (very intense, very intimate) toasts that came before in this very spot, I wonder how aggrieved he’d feel.

Ah well there goes the date spot /:

I’m so happy to see LZY (Bai Jiu’s actor) get to fight! His fight scenes in MTJY were awesome and he continues to impress here as well. It’s so fun to watch!

………..to revisit my question from previous commentary about when the grievances against Ying Lei will end, the answer is never ;-;

Damn…For ZYC to promise to spare Li Lun after all that Li Lun has put him through specifically and personally. ZYC really fucking loves ZYZ doesn’t he.

I’m so fucked up over Ying Lei’s last words jesus christ.

ZYC sobbing and feeling the fleeting warmth of the rock Ying Lei was just leaning against…when will the world stop taking away his family members??? His brothers???

That scene of everyone looking at Bai Jiu after Ying Lei dissipates. The fact that he's right there. And it’s like they traded one life for another. The two babies of the group. Goddammit.

Do NOT hit me with Bai Jiu’s actor singing “Broken-Tailed Bird” right now oh my god

So like…regarding ZYZ losing his demonic power, does he still count as the most evil demon of ZYC’s time? Can someone ring Ying Long and ask?

ZYC crybaby oh no I can’t believe he’s crying over ZYZ being so weakened aw I love him

My god, Bai Jiu running after Ying Lei and into ZYC’s arms has to be one of my favorite sequences in the whole show. So so good. So so painful. Between this scene, all the flashbacks, and ZYC’s reaction when he died, I’m at least glad the show is spending so much screen time and significance on Ying Lei’s send-off, even if I’m heartbroken that he’s gone. We couldn’t even have the whole family reunited for one moment.

Also have you ever seen a man so mother?

No but seriously "Cry if you want...[tears] have to do with our hearts" ZYC my healthy masculinity king!!!

This song fucking hurtssssssssss this cheese (it's buttermilk) hurts everything hurts

I’m glad PSJ gets time and space to react. Her lines about being a mortal and not being needed are so good but also ow!!! And oh WX always knows exactly what to say to her 🥹

I love everything ZYC says to Bai Jiu about each family member (like yeahhh WX is unlucky 😭 and yeaahHH PSJ does need support too) but MAN the way he says ZYZ’s name is so fucking good. The fact that it gets so much emotion across without saying a single word further as he gets interrupted. His voice and his expression both collapsing a little in that moment. Efficiency of acting strikes again.

Is it even possible for ZYC to cherish this little family more?

Yo this dramatic ass lighting on ZYZ and ZYC standing in the doorway. Why y’all need so much drama just to talk? Also oughhhh ZYC’s gaze is a mess looking every which way while discussing WX’s poison. He is such a bad liar (but he looks so good doing it). Is that why they gotta talk about this like ten feet apart so ZYZ can’t see him lying? Lmao

Okay also tho if ZYC's coming around looking like this I am not hearing a single thing he's saying:

They flashed back to the previous time ZYC held his hand out but cut away from ZYZ taking it this time. Is it bc the absolutely unfettered tension between them can’t pass censors anymore? Haha god but that shot of ZYC slowly meeting ZYZ’s eyes from ZYZ’s POV whewwww we don’t got the skinship but their gazes are kind of insane??? TJR in blue contacts is too powerful I'm shaking somebody needs to stop him.

Ep 31:

Trying so hard not to be driven a little crazy by the lapses in continuity in this show (‘: It’s just tonal and costuming stuff that are a little difficult for me to ignore, just the fact that it’s kind of apparent which scenes were filmed in what order based on their costume/styling changes + the sets, and how sometimes the tone from the previous events don’t smoothly carry over because of this. But it's momentary, I just gotta. Power through.

YO the Pei siblings sparring was so cool and for what. They should have had WX spectating instead of staring at nothing in the previous scene (-:

Damn how long has it been since they played the fun music. Also feels kind of wrong without Ying Lei though fml

Awwww Qing Geng I missed her she’s so cute!! I wasn't doing ep commentaries during her arc so I gotta make up for it here. Her actress is so talented and adorable, and her costuming in this show is stunning!! Her lashes!! Her colors!!

THE TREE BRANCHES lmfaooo ZYC what happened to being worried for ZYZ’s weak body?? We really haven't had a moment like this in so long though (':

Well I do like the reason why WZY had a fake out death, that’s pretty clever and narratively sound, but also oh god what in the AOT??? The inner cores hidden in the medicine is some odious fucking work dear lord

I also like that the endgame is coming about from what initially seemed like another small-time case. Of course the evil physician's huge scheme at the end weaponizes plague and poison and medicine.

Ayeee fun that they used the teleporter on WZY instead of as a getaway

Lmfao ZYC just standing there taking a huge hit of the poison smoke. Poor baby doesn’t watch movies and doesn’t know smoke from a bad guy always means some kind of poison

Why does poisoned!ZYC have such an incredible smokey-eye siren look I’m shook

After knowing the poison is about indulging in your greatest wishes, the first moment ZYC woke up and approached ZYZ they sure looked like they were about to indulge in something sorry ignore me

The way this is so similar to ZYZ’s imaginings where he and WX always turn around and look at the camera. The show wants censors to believe they’re looking at ZYZ but we've known all along who the third POV is here

Also why aren’t ZYC’s bro and dad in the wish illusion?

Ohh the eerie instrumental rendition of the OST when ZYC draws his sword is too good. And yesss we were so due for some more crazy dream fuckery like is this real? Is this real??

Ep 32:

The team is spread so thin )-: One man (mountain god) down and a whole town to save and an immortal villain to vanquish.

WZY's eagerness in trying to goad ZYC into killing himself while poisoned is so so sinister goddamn. I love how disturbing it is to slowly realize what he wants without any lines at all

ZYZ shielding ZYC from a huge fucking fireball with just his hand is adorable and sad:

I already normally love Li Lun's whole leaf-swirly entrances and exits but you know I cheered when he deus ex machina-ed his way here!!! With that bgm too!!!

Li Lun came back to accept ZYC into their throuple. He's had some time to think and yeah he's decided ZYC's kinda hot and maybe shouldn't die or else ZYZ will be sad.

):

ZYC's soft and anguished, "Qing Geng" when he realizes she gave him her inner core. That's my bleeding heart hero ;-;

Throuple of the fucking yearrrrrr:

Spoiler for ep 33/34 but—watching Bai Jiu watch the three of them and realize he can't do anything to help here... It would have been dangerous for him to stay, but I wonder if things could have ended differently ):

Ep 33:

Oughhhhh Pei Siheng ))): The cruel fucking poetry of PSJ, the most emotionally closed-off character, having her heart, her brother, made into her armor. And then to lose him once more.

ZYC proving time and again that his heart is entirely boundless and he'll shelter anyone from the rain and he just wants everyone to live:

LI LUN/ZYC LOVERS HOW ARE WE FEELIN'?!?

Did not expect MORE ZYC choking now that they're on the same side but yeah Li Lun is not one to let go of a good thing I get it. I'm screaming but I get it. "I'm giving you half my demonic power" yeah right just admit you like doing this dw Li Lun this is a safe space.

Literally what am I watching and also no don't mind me, keep going. Feral over ZYC dropping his hand and letting it happen.

But lmfao the way Li Lun did not need to be doing all that, like he sends his power out to ZYZ without even making physical contact. He could've just grabbed ZYC by the shoulder.

Can't believe I just keep winning:

ZYC didn't even know what Li Lun was doing putting his arms around him and he just let it happen. That's some next level trust.

Ah goodbye Li Lun, presumably another victim of the "(ex-)villains can't have good endings" brand of censorship

Oof I love that the initial horror after the seeming victory is reserved first for the simple fact that ZYC and ZYZ are separated, that ZYC can't go to him the way he was intending to. Even when it's unclear yet that WZY is still alive, just the wrongness of them being divided this way is so poignant. ZYC has such a helpless look about him when he says ZYZ's name.

Goddammit WZY saw Li Lun choke ZYC and got ideas.

Oh I love the uncertainty of whether the One-Word Spell works on ZYC or not. ZYZ's sudden and intense fear. Also though WZY tries to use ZYC dying as a deterrent for ZYZ blowing up the barrier but he's literally choking the life out of ZYC as we speak

Bai Jiu's completely unrestrained screaming and crying in pain is so brutal to listen to. His scenes go on forever. Also, the choice of having some of his flashbacks be blurred and vague in the background, once again something privately kept for the character

ZYC holding out his hand to ZYZ a third time ;-; The utter relief of being able to reach each other again paralleling that previous horror of separation.

ZYC physically feeling Bai Jiu's death oh god. We do not get a single moment of happiness and victory in this drama everything is bought with pain and returns pain I hate it here.

Also another post-finale thought (spoilers for the end of the drama)—If ZYZ remained in his weakened state, I really am curious if he would have still met the conditions of the prophecy (ZYC being cursed to kill the most evil demon of his time, if the prophecy is indeed conditional like that, of course). If that could have been a technical loophole, did Li Lun giving both of them his power and then ZYC giving ZYZ his as well basically fulfill it again? I mean, logistically speaking, without that extra power, I'm not sure if ZYZ would have been able to trigger the Baize cycle again (or whatever it is he did to save the town). So the show's final tragedy can be traced all the way back to these moments of giving out of love and protection, just as Bai Jiu being in the perfect place for his final sacrifice came about because ZYC, ZYZ, and Li Lun were trying to protect him and get him out of danger. The way love and grief are so helplessly, inevitably intertwined that one begets the other. They were all just trying to save each other.

On that completely painful note, that's 30-33! And it'll be downhill from here for the next one (-: