#but also i doubt it so i guess the doc will have at least SOMETHING to see

[evilpenguinrika]

idk if it's my delusions or if it's actually real

but i feel like the stupid bone jutting out behind my ear has gotten a tad smaller?

like it's not as jutty-outty as Monday and it doesn't feel tender when I touch it

so like, that's a GOOD thing, right? I don't need to go to urgent care RIGHT this moment, right?

[patrophthia]

just curious | theodore nott

pairing: theodore nott x reader

genre: angst, mutual pining (but they don’t get together boo 👎👎👎 me), theodore wears glasses (yes that’s it’s own genre), reader is called princess by everyone bc i didn’t want to use yn in this

wc: 2.2k

note: i wrote this in two hours while listening to super shy - new jeans (intended for it to be a cute fic) and ended up with this angsty little piece, it’s a wip i ended up abandoning but am putting it up for anyone who might like that sexy pining genre of not ending up tgt, also was gonna stay on my docs but got too emotionally attached to not post it (you better talk to me about this theo or i will cry)

Theodore is a friend of Draco. That's how you know him. Theodore Nott: the tall, cute, and quiet friend of Draco's who's eyes —when he smiles, like really smile, curves upwards in an adorable manner. Theodore who, whenever you were to hang out with Draco's friend group, keeps a closed off expression that is so hard to gauge and read that you gave up the second time you met the lad.

The door clicks open and you prepare yourself for what's to come next, taking in a deep breath as you try your hardest to play it cool. Theodore steps into Draco's living room, shopping bags in his hand as Pansy follows him from a few steps behind.

You try not to think too much of it, friends hold shopping bags for their friends all the time, it's only natural. Pansy smiles when she meets your eyes, her voice soft as she nags you on why she hasn't seen you in so long. "Draco ought to bring you around more, I know you're his friend before ours but there's no reason for him to keep you to himself like he does."

Draco scoffs at that, "it's not like I don't invite her, she just doesn't want to come to stuff."

That's not exactly true though. You do want to come to stuff —if anything you loved going to them, Draco's friends have always been very welcoming and accommodated to your every need; it's just that every time you were to spend time with them, it seems like you can't take your eyes off of one particular person (hint: it's not Draco himself).

And quite honestly, you doubted whether he even knows your name. "In my defence, work has been hectic," you deflect with a small laugh, your eyes betrays you and drift to where the real reason stood. Theodore meets your eyes straight on, and offers you a nod as if he's only noticing you now and was saying his greetings. Yeah, he definitely does not know your name. "But I'm here now so let's enjoy it."

Pansy pouts but let's up when Astoria calls for your group of friends from the kitchen, Blaise right behind her with an apron wrapped around his stature. "Well?" He cocks his head. "What are we waiting for?"

Dinner went by smoothly, mostly Blaise stuffing you with his cooking and Pansy catching up with; asking every question she could possibly think of. You didn't mind if for the most part, actually quite enjoying the attention as the group went on and on. "You're shy, aren't you?"

The question is weird, and not exactly directed at you so you turn back to your plate as you take a bite of Blaise's lasagna (Draco helped cook the noodles for this, he wants you to keep this in mind). You feel something kick mid-chew, looking up to the person sitting opposing you; only to see Theodore with his full focus on Pansy.

You turn to her as well and she laughs as she repeats her words. "You're shy, aren't you?"

"Not really?" You don't think you are, not really. You're just trying your hardest not to make it obvious that you're interested in someone at this very table who does not seem to be interested in you one bit. "At least I don't think I am."

Astoria laughs kindly, finding you cute as she says: "you've just been quiet today, you're never like this with Draco and I."

Yeah well Draco and Astoria weren't plaguing your every thought every time you were within one metres of them. "Oh." you murmur. "I guess I'm a bit tired today."

"Work?" Blaise suggests and you shake your head. "What is it then?"

"Just Boy problems," you say off-handedly, quickly regretting it when their faces turn to one of interest. "But it's nothing big, I promise."

"Are you seriously going to tell us that and not elaborate?" Draco looks offended, hell, he feels offended that you weren't elaborating. "What did that dickhead do?"

Your heart warms at the fact that your friend cares about you enough to immediately hate on whoever might be causing you boy problems but are quick to dismiss the situation. "Nothing, drop it."

From the look on their faces, it looks as if they weren't going to drop it anytime soon. Pansy opens her mouth, ready to say something when Theodore clears his throat, letting you hear his voice for the first time tonight. "Why don't you tell them about who you saw at the shops today, Pans."

Her eyes light up suddenly, going off on how she ran into her scumbag of an ex boyfriend as she was shopping for a new dress. Your eyes found Theodore's, sending him a small smile as you mentally note down on how you'd have to thank him for it later.

And when he offers you a small smile in return, his dark eyes softening —yet not enough for you to see those half moons you hold oh so dear to your heart, you try to remind yourself that he is nothing but a man doing the bare minimum.

"Stay the night," Astoria says softly, "it's late, Princess. I can't have you heading back on your own at this hour."

As much as it sounded pleasant, you can't help but feel like you might be intruding their night (even though you've spent countless night crashing at their place after a bad break up before, you guess that it's just different now that you weren't staying to cure a broken heart with a comforting shoulder —Astoria— and someone bad mouthing your ex —Draco—). "I can't," you tell them. "And trust me, I'll be fine."

Draco isn't chuffed by your answer, looking apprehensive as he thought everything over. Blaise and Pansy left for their shared apartment mere minutes ago so it wasn't like he could ensure your safety with them. But someone else was still here though, "Nott, can you take her home?"

Theodore startles from his spot by the coat rack, pausing with one arm in his coat as he looks at Draco like a deer caught in headlights. Cute. He then glances at you before hesitantly nodding.

This is bad. Oh god. Okay.

"Great," Astoria says with a smile. "Take care of our Princess, please." She then turns to look at you. "Call me when you get home safely, okay?"

At your nod, she hugs you goodbye and sends you out the door. Theodore walking slowly by your side. He's silent when he opens his car door for you and you try your best not to swoon. "Thank you."

He hums in acknowledgment as he walks over to the driver's side, Theodore does a double check to make sure you had your seatbelt on before he started the car. The ride is quiet, save from the song playing from the radio; a familiar tune you can't place a finger on.

He asks for your directions and you tell him, sneaking glances as you did so. His hair is longer than it was the last time you saw him —but to be fair, it has been months since you did; a few dark strands cover his eyes and you resist the urge to reach out and push them away. Maybe even taking out a hair clip from your purse to pin it back just so he wouldn't have to deal with it again.

It's calm and overwhelming at the same time, sitting so still and tranquil next to Theodore like this. You want to say something, you want him to say something; anything if meant you get to hear his voice again. If it meant you get a chance to memorise it and compartmentalise it in a folder that is ardently his.

"Oh thank you by the way." He looks at you for a split second before turning his focus back to the road. "For switching the topic back there."

Theodore only nods and you try not to cry. Why won't he speak? It's almost like he doesn't even want you to be interested in him.

"I really do appreciate it."

He hums this time around, a low note vibrating from his chest. It's either a nod or a hum, that's all you're ever going to get from Theodore, huh?

You bite the inside of your cheeks, looking straight at the road as you did so. Should you even attempt to make small talk? All your attempts have been futile so far so why even try. You didn't mean to huff, or at least not as loud as you did, your arms instinctively as you looked out the window absentmindedly.

This catches Theodore's attention though, prompting to finally say something. "Thinking about those boy problems again?"

You don't answer him, you don't let yourself feel the satisfaction of finally hearing him speak for the second time tonight. You don't say anything related to that topic whatsoever. "Do you have a girlfriend, Theodore?"

You can hear the hitch in his breath, see the surprise in his rapid blinks, feel the shift in the air. The car pulls to a stop at a red light, the tail lights of a car a few metres in front of you shines your faces the same shade.

He looks at you and you hope —no pray, that he doesn't notice the sparkle in your eyes as you look at him. Or maybe you do, you can't tell anymore. The only thing you can tell is that you are so incredibly into Theodore Nott, and him driving you home is not helping your case at all.

"No," he says earnestly. You don't let your eyes flicker to his lips, you don't let your eyes flicker to anything else but his eyes, trying to gauge him for something; anything, only to end up finding nothing.  "Why are you asking?"

A car honks from behind, breaking the two of you away from your trance. "Just curious."

You thank Theodore as he pulls to a stop outside your house, he —just like you would expect from Theodore Nott, only nods at your thanks. And when you bid him goodbye with one leg out of his car.

He tells you, "Goodnight, Princess."

Princess, that's what your friends called you. That's what Draco Malfoy called you at the ripe age of ten years old where the two of you would play royalty and would later be his favourite nickname for you, then further on your other friend's choice of name for you. That's what Theodore Nott calls you because he does not know your name.

"Goodnight, Theodore." You shut his car door behind you, and take a few steps to your front door before turning over your shoulder. Looking back at him at once, finding him reaching for his glasses within his glove compartment; ones with round wired frames that settle flatteringly on his high nose bridge. He shuts his glove compartment box and you turn back to your front door. And unbeknownst to you, with your back to him, Theodore turns to look at you once, and then, twice when you finally enter your house, before finally driving off and into the night.

Curiosity kills the cat, that’s what Theodore thinks as he unlocks his front door. Curiosity kills the cat, is what he reminds himself time and time again as he sheds off his jacket. Curiosity kills the cat, that’s what he knows from the start. But how could curiosity really kill the cat if it was already dying? 

If it had already yearned for something for long; a clenching thirst yet to be fulfilled, if it was already wailing to just be held, would curiosity really kill it then? 

It's weird. It's weird how —now that he thinks of it, he can't seem to recall you ever going on a date. Not a single one. While him on the other hand; yeah, he can't exactly count the amount of dates he’s gone on in the past month on one hand. 

It's not entirely his fault though, he’s trying to put himself out there; trying to find the one despite knowing that said one is constantly running around the back of his mind and was sitting in his passenger seat mere minutes ago. But he chooses to ignore it because one, it's wrong and there was no way you could ever reciprocate his feelings. And two, even if you were to reciprocate his feelings, he will never cross the line between platonic and romantic. 

He’d take the endless yearning over any potential heartbreak any day because the second he crosses the line, there's no turning back. And no amount of romantic feelings you might have for one another will make up for the years of friendship between him, you, and most importantly, Draco. The blond was your best friend before anything else, and he doubts you’d ever risk ruining your friendship for someone like him.

So, for now, he’d settled for the guilt he feels every time he sees you; he’ll hold back on his urges even though it’s clearer to him now, in this very night, than ever that you are as infatuated with him as he is with you. 

He’ll take off his glasses, he’ll place them by his bedside table, he’ll lay in his bed, cold and alone, he’ll try to fall asleep and not think of you, he’ll try and try to make it through tomorrow, make it through the date that Blaise had set up (yet again) for him that will inevitably be the worse hours of his life and think about what it be like had his date been you instead. 

— from bee: yeah i wrote this theodore with jeon wonwoo in mind so what about it?? theodore is so wonwoo coded idc idc

[snakepitgunner]

I think for me, some of her answers made her sound too naive. The fact that she told Meegan and couldn't believe he lied to her - I can't remember eactly what she said, but it came across as if she felt this wasn't a common occurance for Slash and it was going to lead to something more. So, I wasn't sure.

I think people forget to separate the fantasy /controlled image from reality. Slash has always gone from one relationship straight to another (well since at least with Renee - early 1990's), always had another partner lined up before ending a relationship. I don't think he has ever been 'single'. I wonder if he has some early childhood/abandonment issues from his Mum moving to US before him and Dad???? Drugs and alcohol probably didn't help. He seems to be able to really compartmentalise his emotions and I am not sure he truly sees women as individuals. I am happy to stick with the fantasy, not sure I would want to meet him.

Enjoying a short series on paramount called 'Ain't nothin' but a good time' rise and fall of hair metal and infuence of sunset strip, second part talks about Guns.

Yes there may have been some naivete there but I also think Slash works very hard to make these girls think they're special. There are too many stories over the years of him doing and saying similar things.

Naive or not, I think she was going by what she was told and how he made her feel. That's pretty shitty of him. He knows what he's doing.

I still love the fantasy of Slash. That's kind of it though. The fantasy isn't real for me.

He has a history of girlfriend jumping. Not only has he never been single, he only claimed to be faithful to Perla in the first few years. He said he'd never been faithful to any girl he'd ever been with in a Howard Stern interview years ago. I doubt that has changed.

I have the Paramount Doc in my watch list. It looks good. There is a book of the same name, about the same topic/groups so I'm guessing a lot is going to be pulled from there. I'm looking forward to watching.

[deeptrashwitch]

Halloween short story N.1 (Cpt. Alicia Marchant x Zombie apocalypse)

The divider was made by @saradika-graphics !

Taglist (just to show :3): @alypink @stuffireadandenjoy @snootlestheangel @islandtarochips @spookyrares

@piouswolf @midnight193 @mutantthedark @justasmolbard @welldonekhushi

@tapioca-milktea1978 @imagoddamnonionmason @stargazing-sapphire2

No one is completely sure how the virus appeared or how it infected the first human, but after that person became patient zero...the world fell in a matter of days. It wasn't like anything the world has seen before, although, some movies did get something right. Zombies are strong and quick, mostly if the person was already like that before the infection.

The virus...

The infection has three phases after the first bite. Right after a zombie bites the person, it bleeds and heals like a normal wound. How quickly it passes to the second phase depends on the treatment.

If the wound is left in the air without treatment, it can change phases in just days. But if it's treated properly, it can be up to many months even.

The second phase is also tricky as hell.

The symptoms are...much like a normal flu. Fever, dizziness, nauseas and body pain. No one really can tell what really that is, except for a single detail that most medics tend to over look. The veins.

The veins become black around the bite, which is the most dangerous symptom for someone that recieved good treatment. The goddamn veins get hidden by the bandage.

And the third phase...oh, the fucking third phase.

It lasts the least, just five to ten minutes. Why? Easy, because when the person reaches the third phase, the wound opens up again. The person bleeds out while their eyes become white and they just have a single moment of consciousness before transforming.

So far, most zombies become immediatly aggressive. Except in a single case. When the people in front of them are closer to them.

That's the worst part of this crap...

"... it's always the family and friends who have to pull the trigger." Jackson said as he finished the story, then looked at the young kids in front of him.

A boy raised a hand before speaking. "Dr. Blackwell, have you ever seen someone infected?"

Jackson froze for a second and looked at the floor before sighing bitterly. "Yes, and I was the one who treated her after the stupid bite."

"Who was it?" A girl asked, curiously.

"...My Captain from back in the day."

"Did she attack you?" Another kid asked.

Jackson shook his head gently. "No, surprisingly, she didn't even try to move to attack us."

One last kid doubted before speaking. "Did you...pull the trigger?"

He didn't answer, just stayed looking down at the floor until someone called for the kids. They ran to the person who called them, leaving the medic alone. Then someone put a hand over Jackson's shoulder.

"How are you feeling, Doc?" Luke asked, tired.

"Like shit."

They stood up and started to walk. "You didn't tell them, did you?"

"Tell them what? That no one had the guts to shoot? That everyone preferred to run than pull the damn trigger?" Jackson sighed and laughed bitterly. "You wouldn't have told them either, because that would mean lose trust from them. Because neither you, me, Edward or any Specter would've shoot. Not even Alejandro, especially not Alejandro."

"I guess that's true." Luke murmured sadly, all while they arrived to a locked building. "Sometimes I wonder if now I'd had the will to shoot."

"And?" Jackson asked as they arrived in front of a cage.

Luke stared at the figure chained to the wall before answering. "The answer is still no."

Inside that cage Alicia was chained against the wall, but that wasn't Alicia. At least not the woman they once met. It wasn't the Captain that formed their team, it wasn't the woman they considered a friend.

She was now something else. A being only moved by rage, so they kept her muzzled and chained for everyone's sake. Like that, the moment she noticed them, she tried to pounce at them growling and snarling.

The sound of rattling chains filled the environment while they stared at the zombie that once was their Captain. But...her movements were still looking tense and unwilling. Almost like she was holding back somehow.

"She still doesn't want attack us, huh?" Jackson asked with watery eyes.

Luke shook his head. "No, she tries to...hold back."

"This is stupid."

"What?"

"Luke, this is stupid. It's painful for everyone having her here! We...we need to do something!"

Luke looked at Jackson with sadness, noticing how the tears fell from his eyes for the first time since Alicia transformed. "...Do you still feel guilty?"

Jackson choked with his tears and looked away. "How am I supposed not to? I treated her first, if only I identified that a zombie bit her..."

"We couldn't have done anything anyway. It wasn't your fault, Jackson."

"It was. It was my fault! And...and I'll never forget that day. It just keeps reminding me of my incompetence."

Luke looked at Jackson and stayed in silence, just putting a hand over his shoulder as a comfort gesture. He tried to ignore the growling and the chains rattling from inside the cage.

He also remembered that day.

Half a year ago:

They were scouting the area next to the camp, all the team with Alejandro and Rudy were walking around. Everyone was joking while they walked. Until Alicia stopped and bend forward like she was about to puke.

Alejandro tried to approach her first, but she stopped him, extending a hand to keep her distance. She stumbled away from the group while everyone was worried for her.

"Licia?" Edward asked, worried sick.

"I'm fine. I'm...fine." She murmured while blood dripped down to the floor.

Alejandro tried to reach her, but she stumbled away while the blood left a path. "Amor, what's wrong?"

"Forgive me."

"What?"

"Please forgive me, I'm sorry." She whispered softly while she looked up at them.

Everyone backed away a step, pale and trembling, when they stared at how her eyes slowly became white. Alicia tried to stop the bleeding from the old bite in her neck, but was trembling scared too.

"Please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispered while she looked at them.

No one knew how to react.

"Shoot me. I beg you, I don't want to hurt anyone. Please..." She said while her eyes became white completely and she lost all consciousness.

When they tried to speak to her, she just answered with growls, but didn't pounced. It was the perfect moment to shoot before she attacked. But none of them did.

No one was able to raise their rifle and pull the trigger.

Only Rudy could move, but even he wasn't able to shoot. He just was able to knock her out, but even then, he apologized over and over again.

Since then, all of them have kept her inside that building and cage. All out of hope that one day, a cure might be created and all could go back to what it was. Yet...hope was all they had so far.

No cure. No escape.

[goodlucktai]

hi! this is quite embarrassing, but it’s currently two in the morning and I figured I wasn’t going to get any meaningful sleep unless I sent you this ask, so here it is!

you have absolutely no idea who I am, but I wanted to let you know that you were probably the first author I ever admired. I read all your tmnt fics on fanfiction.net (circa 2012, if I remember correctly) and after I managed to find my old account there tonight, I realized you also read some of my works, too. you left kind comments on some rather roughly written fics of mine, lol. and I have a god awful memory, but I’m certain I was ecstatic to get your feedback (to say the least). I was so jealous of your talent, but also so inspired. you really pushed me to continue writing even though you were never aware of it! and looking back on it now, I think writing might be one of the best things I’ve ever pursued :)

to this day I still write fics, albeit no longer for tmnt. and I’ve grown so much as a person and as an author — but every few years or so I still think about you and your works and that cute Mikey icon/profile pic you had for some time. going back to my roots and all, I suppose! I’m disgustingly sentimental like that, lol, but it’s nice to remember the things I’m grateful for every once in a while. and one of those things is you!

all this to say: I hope you’re doing well. I’m so happy to see you’re still active and writing. I might spend some time going through your ao3 just for the hell of it, even though I haven’t touched tmnt in so many years. you’ve had such a lovely domino effect on my life and I’m so glad I’ve finally found the courage to let you know that. I guess this is also a reminder to you, too, that you have had a positive, decade-long impact on a stranger, so who’s to say you haven’t touched the lives of so many others as well? you are so, so appreciated! 💛

there’s absolutely no pressure for you to post this ask or respond in any way — I just needed to thank you in the only way I could, and also wish you well. have a beautiful day! and please — keep writing! :)

i don't even know what to say. first of all, thank you for taking the time to send something so kind to me (if i cried over this at 6 am that's between me and god)

your timing is so incredible actually. i was laid off at the beginning of the month and i've been struggling to find motivation and inspiration since. and sort of letting myself sink into a self-doubt spiral. so this message really truly means a lot to me. and i'm going to think about it every single time i want to close a doc without at least trying to write something down

i'm so, so happy that you pursued writing, and honored that i could be a little voice of encouragement !! i hope everything goes well for you and that you remember you've always got someone in your corner <3

and thank you again ! thank you 🩷

[waitineedaname]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by @buffintruder thank you!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

89 ! that feels like a lot

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

355,274 which also feels like a lot!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

usually whatever I'm hyperfixating on at the time! right now it's mdzs/the untamed, but I've got some scum villain wips in the works

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Handsome Mystery Boy -- Skam soulmate AU

hot dilfs in your area (not clickbait!!1!) -- HLVRAI modern au

Strider Bros Feelings Jam -- Homestuck post-canon

Let's Get This Over With -- HLVRAI dream-sharing

The Secret Boyfriend -- TAZ Balance modern au

5. Do you respond to comments?

usually! it might take me a bit, but I usually try to respond, especially if it's a more recent fic. if it's an old fic or the comment is just, like, a string of heart emojis or something, I usually don't respond. doesn't mean the comment doesn't make me smile though!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

tbh I don't write a whole lot of angsty endings? even if it's an angsty fic, I try to end on at least a hopeful/bittersweet note, y'know? I guess the angstiest ending would be Frayed Seams because it's in the middle of the series and is giving context to the strained relationship between the Kageyama siblings. they do eventually begin to mend their relationship by the end of the series! just. not in this fic.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this is once again rather hard because I mostly write happy endings! and I have a lot of short fics that are just. pure fluff. I guess if I'm looking for a fic that's long enough to Earn a happy ending, it would be a tie between Plant Their Hearts In Community Gardens or the sun in the summertime! I love how much Mob and Reigen's lives have improved by the end of the show <3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not that comes to mind! I don't think I've ever gotten hate comments, so if people don't like my stuff they at least only complain about it somewhere I can't see it, which I appreciate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

not really! I am usually a genfic writer lol though I have had wlwangxian robot sex on the brain lately for. reasons. and also I have a feeling some of my bingqiu fics are going to be like, scenes in the Middle of them having sex, because [gestures] bingqiu

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't done a whole lot of them, but I think the concept can be fun if executed properly! crossovers where the two casts meet don't generally appeal to me, but crossovers that function more like an au (characters from Series A in the universe of Series B) are more my speed. I have been pondering a svsss/hlvrai crossover....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

god I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah! I've had a couple fics translated into Russian, way long ago

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not in a "we both were writing the fic in its entirety" way but I have written some aus and fics where I was bouncing ideas off friends so much that they might as well be a co-author. Let's Get This Over With would not exist without @neonlav's help

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

oh christ I have no idea. I'm a genfic person. bingqiu is doing something vile to my brain chemistry lately though

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so many... so so many......... do not look in my google docs folder, there are too many untitled documents that have been abandoned........... I guess a more recent example would be a mdzs fic where wei wuxian is the juniors' camp counselor. I think the idea was v fun but I could not figure out where to take it. man I wish I was an artist so I didn't have to write plots for my silly little aus

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue! I love writing dialogue, especially when I feel like I really Get a character

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

fight scenes.... also pacing and figuring out how to end a fic, final lines are so hard

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am not fluent enough in another language to pull off writing whole chunks of dialogue in another language! sometimes I'll use terminology from another language, especially if it doesn't translate well (like Japanese or Chinese honorifics and family terms) but otherwise I don't write in another language bc I would be too worried about it being incorrect

19. First fandom you wrote for?

it was, embarrassingly, for the since disgraced video game youtuber Cryaotic. in my defense, I was thirteen. the first fandom I posted fic for was for Hetalia, which is just as embarrassing. once again, my defense is that I was fourteen

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I am genuinely so goddamn proud of Let's Get This Over With. I had so much fun writing it, there are some concepts in it that I'm really proud of, and I just really enjoyed writing for hlvrai. those character voices were fun to play with

I'll tag @patron-saints, @scribefindegil, @localdisasterisk, @thatneoncrisis, and @notedchampagne!

[prettygoododds]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thanks @wellbelesbian for tagging me. Such fun questions! Tags below the cut.

How many works do you have on AO3

68! Wow, I did not realize this.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

134,335

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Carry On Series aka Simon Snow fandom aka Snobaz

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When the Ink Dries

Can I Change My Mind (this one blows my mind, how it continues to stay at the top)

Namaste Away

Every Lover Has A Little Dagger In Their Hand

We're So Starving

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or Why not?

I try to, but I'm very bad at it. It's something I need to work on.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We Were Pity Sex, Nothing More and Nothing Less It doesn't even pretend to be kind.

Also, I'm Right Where You Left Me It's short, but cuts right to the bone.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of mine do have a happy ending (when I go sad, I go hard). If I had to choose a few, I suppose:

Where Did the Party Go?

Believe

Namaste Away

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Had a few recommendations on how to tag a few works, or to make it more user friendly but everyone has always been very kind with those suggestions. The Carry On fandom is a really good fandom.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I'm slowly dipping my toes in that water. I've posted a few works that have smut, but I'm still very tentative about it. I don't know what kind really. Regular?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but I'm not opposed to it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Snobaz, hands down. It's the one I come back to every time. My comfort ship.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have 2 WIP currently and both of those will be finished. My other WIP not on AO3 are just sitting in my google docs, where no one can see them shivering in the corner, neglected.

16 What are your writing strengths?

Oof. I'd like to think I'm good at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and setting a scene. I'm working on it though, and that's the important bit I suppose *shrugs shoulders in Simon*

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Not something I've attempted. I won't say I never will, but I will probably not unless I absolutely have to

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Somewhere, in the depths of fanfic.net are my abandoned Twilight fics. And that is where they will stay until the death of the planet.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I have a few and when I'm questioning why I think I should be doing this at all, I read them to remember I started because I wanted to write the stories I wanted to read.

When The Ink Dries - I started this fic waaaaay before I ever posted it and it was the reason I decided to participate in my first Carry On Big Bang. It's my fic first born.

I'm Not A Pitch - This fic popped my AO3 cherry. I posted it before I could second guess myself. It's full of errors, but I wouldn't change anything about it.

Vibe Check - I wrote this in a few hours when I was feeling silly and it is still one of my favorites

Who Wants Ramen? - My friend and I giggled endlessly when I plotted this one out.

You Can Call Me Babe for the Weekend - I spend a lot of time listening to music and plotting out the story that a 3-4 minutes song can tell. 'Tis the Damn Season was an immediate movie in my head and as soon as I could plot it out and put it on paper (so to speak) I did.

And last but not least Sugar, We're Going Down Swingin - This is pure self indulgence. I got into hockey, I wanted the boys to be hockey players...bam, here's a fic with almost no hockey in it, but sometimes they talk about it.

I'm don't know who's already been tagged, so sorry if I double up:

@facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername @artsyunderstudy @shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @rimeswithpurple @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @blackberrysummerblog @nausikaaa @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature @shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @martsonmars @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[elliseleven]

So, I wrote this Patcap fic a while back (I've written *a lot* of Capvers since I started watching Ghosts so I thought it'd be good to change it up).

But I honestly don't think I'll properly finish it as it's been sitting in my Google docs for a while so I thought I could post it here.

It's a few scenes that are kind of stop-start rather than having proper transitions. I also haven't really beta read it so it's not my best but hope you enjoy anyway!

*******

Pat had planned this perfectly. 2001: A Space Odyssey had something for everyone. Despite that, there was one person who didn’t seem to be enjoying himself.

The Captain was watching the TV screen. However, he didn’t seem to be paying attention at all. 

After the film was over, Pat watched the Captain leave. He wondered what was wrong. Did he not like the film?

Pat decided to follow the Captain. He found himself outside the Captain’s room. Suddenly, he felt nervous. The Captain didn’t like his privacy to be invaded, but Pat didn’t want him to feel sad either.

The door was ajar, so Pat peeked his head round.

“Knock knock.”

The Captain jumped. He was sitting on the edge of his bed.

“What is it, Pat?” He tried to keep his voice level, but Pat could tell something was wrong.

“You alright, Cap? Did you not enjoy the film?”

“No, I did. It was wonderful. I’m just… tired. A lot happened today.”

Pat nodded. “Yeah, it was full on. Not anything we’re not used to though, eh?”

The Captain chuckled. “Quite right. I’d just… like to be left alone.”

Pat hesitated. It was clear that something was troubling the Captain, but he had never been one to open up easily. Maybe it was best to leave it alone. 

“Course,” he finally said.

He made to leave but turned back. He smiled to the Captain. “If there’s anything on your mind, you can talk to us, you know. Well…” he hesitated. “Some of us, at least.”

The Captain only nodded. He knew this to be a fact, of course, but he doubted he would take Pat up on that offer.

Pat nodded in return, leaving the Captain in peace.

Once he was sure Pat had left, the Captain let out a sigh. Perhaps it would do some good to talk about… what was troubling him. He had kept his secret for so long, but perhaps it was time for it to come to light.

*******

“Take your time, Cap.”

The Captain felt as if he was on the verge of a panic attack. He had never said this aloud before. However, Pat’s gentle gaze and hand on his shoulder helped him calm down.

“Where to start…” He mused. “Do you remember that day when Alison and Mike were digging up the garden?”

“Yes, definitely,” Pat sighed. “God knows how I managed to take charge of those lot.”

“You did a terrific job.”

Pat was taken aback. It was rare that the Captain gave compliments, especially to him. “Well, thanks, Cap. I try.”

“Yes, well…” He cleared his throat. “That day reminded me of my… past. Someone from my past, to be specific.”

“Right,” Pat nodded. “Was it someone from the army?”

The Captain very slowly began to tell Pat about his lieutenant and how close they had grown. How he had fallen in love…

Pat nodded along, not surprised in the slightest.

“That makes sense. A lot of sense, actually.” Pat said once the Captain had finished.

The Captain almost gave himself whiplash, turning to face Pat. “What do you mean by that?!”

Pat laughed. “Well, I mean, even a blind man would be able to see that you’re… a homosexual.”

When the Captain continued to stare, gobsmacked, Pat explained further. He hadn’t noticed every little thing, but the things he had noticed were blindingly obvious. 

The way he looked at attractive men: Adam the director, Toby Nightingale, Mike, that naked man from the party. 

“I didn’t think I was being so obvious,” the Captain muttered, unable to look Pat in the eye.

“I guess it’s not to everyone, but I noticed…”

If the Captain had been less nervous, he would have noticed Pat blushing.

“Right,” the Captain cleared his throat. “As long as you don’t tell the others.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it!” Pat patted the Captain gently on his shoulder. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Pat stood up, and the Captain suddenly felt cold.

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

*******

“Hey, Cap?”

The Captain stopped walking and turned to face Pat.

“Yes?”

The way the Captain looked at him made him weak at the knees, but he stood strong. “I just wanted to have a chat, if that’s okay?”

The Captain nodded cautiously. He wondered, and partly worried, about what Pat wanted to tell him.

Pat looked behind him to check they were alone. “I… Um… Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this nervous.”

The Captain frowned. “You don’t need to be nervous around me, Patrick.”

Pat laughed. If only the Captain knew the irony in what he was saying. “How do I say this?”

Pat was stalling because he was nervous, of course, but there was another reason. 

He remembered how the Captain talked about Havers. The Captain had never been good at expressing his feelings, but it was clear how in love he had been. What if he still was? Pat wasn’t sure how he would take that.

Meanwhile, the Captain’s heart was racing. Pat rarely got nervous talking about what was on his mind. This must be important. What if…? No, the Captain berated himself. He had a wife, for goodness sake! He couldn’t be…

“I like you, Cap.”

The Captain narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Well, I would hope so, wouldn’t you?”

“No, Cap,” Pat said, even more serious now. “I like you. Not just as a friend.”

Finally, the penny dropped. The Captain stared.

Pat waited, but the Captain didn’t speak. He didn’t even move.

“Hello? Anyone home?” He clicked his fingers in front of the Captain’s face.

The Captain blinked and slowly found his voice. “S- Sorry, Pat. I just… didn’t expect you to say that. At all.”

“It’s okay,” Pat chuckled. “It came as a bit of a shock to me too. Nothing to do with you!” He added hastily before the Captain could jump to any conclusions. “I just always thought I liked women. Still do, of course, but I like men too? Not quite sure when that happened, if I’m honest.”

Pat continued to ramble, and the Captain smiled. The sense of relief that washed over him was immeasurable. He wouldn’t have guessed that Pat liked him, or was even like him at all.

“-always confused me when I watched films and found both the man and the woman attractive.”

The rambling was getting a little too much now for the Captain. “Pat.”

“I could never tell Carol though-”

“Pat!”

Pat suddenly stopped, looking up at the Captain. “Sorry. Was I talking too much?”

The Captain hesitated before realising he could be honest with him. “Yes. Just a bit.”

“Sorry…” he muttered. “It’s just the first time I’ve talked about this.”

The Captain nodded. “I understand. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah, I actually do, actually. How about you give it a try?”

The Captain hummed. “No, thank you.”

Pat nodded. “That’s fine.”

The two of them fell silent until Pat remembered something. “Hey, Cap? Before I told you this, I didn’t know how you would react.” 

Now that he was speaking out loud, he realised the Captain hadn’t actually said much of anything. 

“Why do you say that?”

*******

So it ends there but Pat's answer was going to be that he knew that Cap was still in love with Havers and he wasn't sure if Cap was ready to love anyone else. Cap ends up telling Pat that he will always love Havers but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the capability to love someone else ❤️

[rosekasa]

20 questions for fic writers!

thank u @jattendschaton for tagging me 🥺 i love these questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 107 on maketea, but with my um. two other accounts i have 128

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

on maketea i have 293,935, but with at least one of my other accounts (one of them is for ml and one of them for another fandom, the latter of which i cant be bothered to log in to rn shdjsk) the total is 313,681!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

miraculous ladybug mainly! but i have also written for owari no seraph. ive written for other fandoms but im not counting it if i literally only have one work to my name for them HSJAJA with ons at least i have 3 on maketea and 12 on my other account

THEORETICALLY. i also write for sailor moon. i have a substantial amount in my google docs. they just havent manifested themselves into existence yet

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

apology gifts, like poles of a magnet, new marinette, a nine-year old (fhfjsj), and i'll marry you! ive actually had kudos/hits/comments stats hidden on ao3 since 2021 so i have no clue how many kudos any of these have which is very funny to me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to but i always get distracted midway through going through my inbox which is totally on me fjdkka. i always decide to do it when im literally in the middle of class for whatever fuckin reason HAHAHA. i also always feel bad because im like 'oh i havent replied to this in literally two years im too embarrassed to reply now'

i also want to reply with more than just 'thank you' because comments mean SO MUCH TO ME but i think i psych myself out of replying because im too scared i won't be able to express it properly

im trying to resolve to get better at it!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ehemememem. ya'aburnee.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ooh, id say new marinette! in terms of like. the emotional arc or whatever

i was gonna say lpoam, but i think there's still a bit of lingering Sad there

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i want to say no. but ive been writing fics for ten years now and i feel like i mustve done Something weird when i was younger

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yep, for an old fandom on wattpad!

shdkska this is really funny, but back then i made a playlist for the fic, and i remember the person who translated it wrote in their translation of that chapter 'i wouldve done it differently but it's okay' that still makes me laugh

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep, i did one for owari no seraph and one for ml! i have some others in the works tho hehe

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

guess

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh hmm. i think i am delusional and believe all my wips will someday be finished HDJFJSJS so im changing this question to 'doubt you will in the near future'. for that, id say maybeeee my amnesia adrien fic. 40k words in the doc and babe is still marinating

16. What are your writing strengths?

hmm. i think im quite good at writing interactions! i mean, i like the way i write them at least. i love capturing the feeling of being with people and i think i do it well!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

there's something that feels kind of hesitant when i read my docs sometimes? it feels like im worried to hit the point of the plot head-on and skirting around what i actually want to say. i think what i'm trying to do to improve is to be a bit more direct in my narration style and focus on being descriptive only when it's needed.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

ive done it before!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh i dont want to answer this. one direction

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

like poles of a magnet <3

tagging @destiny-with-you , @mozzygan , @asukiess , @ladyofthenoodle , and whoever else wants to do this!!! just say i tagged u when u do it hehe

[autisticempathydaemon]

David & Hush for the character ask game ^^

Thank you for the ask, Aether, darling~ Let's start with David first, as one of the first Redacted bois!

My first impression: Ohmygod, calm dooooown. Ask for a hug. Relaaax.

My impression now: I bet you my tits this man cries during the wedding, that big softy.

Favorite thing about that character: Hmm, the alpha, dad of the friend group vibes. I'm very attracted to that constantly the designated driver, expressing his love through a warm meal vibe.

Least favorite thing: If anything, the way he dealt with the texting, Michael situation early on. Like, I didn't not get it, but I hated it, ya feel?

Favorite line/scene: Probably that scene before the Solstice trip where he touches base with Milo at the restaurant. I just love a good boy friendship, you know- they're so important.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: Off the top of the dome, David calling Sam and making him mentally shit his pants is at the top of the list.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Christian, because I miss my fuckin BOY.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: Derek Hale, one of my first true fandom loves. I love werewolf alphas with five letter names that start with D apparently.

A headcanon about that character: This man is autistic as hell, and I love it.

A song that reminds of that character: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from The Phantom of the Opera, because I'm an asshole but also I'm correct.

An unpopular opinion about that character: Mmm, is it unpopular to say that I hated that whole power play, vengeance, we're going to let people beat Quinn while he's tied to a chair moment?

Favorite picture: @heartsofhounds David has me, like, so feral in ways that I cannot express with our mortal language. He's just built different.

Now, HUSH. My new favorite, the man-thing who dethroned Milo and Regulus both.

My first impression: Oh, this man is so autistic.

My impression now: Oh, this man is so autistic, and I want to ruin him

Favorite thing about that character: Can I say that he's so autistic, or would that be weird? /lh He's just so funny! He has that droll humor where you can't tell whether he's doing it on purpose or not, and half the time he's not, and I love that.

Least favorite thing: Mmm, I guess that he's so enigmatic and mysterious, though that's also fun. I just want to know what heckin species this guy is.

Favorite line/scene: I think it might be the beginning of the second video where he's like "I didn't break in, I broke nothing." Like, no, that first video wasn't a fluke; I'm just in love with him.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: Other than everything he's ever said to Doc, I like how ruthless and protective he was against Reticuli. Like, that was hot, damn.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Regulus. They're both off in a similar way, and I'd love Hush to be like "something went wrong with you wtf"

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: Castiel from Supernatural. Fun fact, my initial headcanon for Hush was that he was an Angel, stemming a little bit from his similarities to Cas.

A headcanon about that character: AGAIN, this man is autistic as hell, and I love it.

A song that reminds of that character: Oh, It Will Come Back by Hozier, without a doubt. He's so lovingly unhinged that way.

An unpopular opinion about that character: Huh... I don't think I have one? I feel like me and the Hush girlies (gn) might be sympatico about this one.

Favorite picture: @belovedbow as always got me wildin and got me cheesin, because I've been enamored with this boy since I've seen him. He's so smiley, so weird <3

[dinrelsanddragons]

What injury has impacted you the most?

(Not as many responses this time, but that's because they're longer. Still a long post; responses are by Alexander; Armok; Gwyn and Raven; Vair and Shanz. Also, tw: suicide for Shanz's response.)

Alexander looked to the side. "It's... not a story I like to tell. It isn't even a big one, either." His shoulders rose up, in shame. "When my sister and I were small, our father Vair was watching us spar after giving us a lesson in fighting. My sister..." He sighed. "She jabbed me in the crotch with her practice spear and laughed when I doubled over. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Elise, you'll never know that pain, so it's funny to you. But Father immediately came over and asked how bad it was. I'm glad he understands, at least. But it hurt like hell, I'm sure everyone understands. Father scolded her something nasty for doing that, said it was fighting dirty. But when you consider that monsters fight dirty all the time... I wonder if I'd be in for hell if I picked up fighting to protect the kingdom." He shuddered. "I guess that makes me a coward. So be it. I just don't want to suffer. I'm not my sister, I'm not the best fighter and I don't enjoy it. So why put myself through that when there are others who are stronger and better at handling it?"

"Impacted, but in a good way," Armok chortled. He pointed at his head, rapping his knuckles against his cap. "I wrestled a Hinox once. I was in my dragon form when it happened, I didn't have my scale of Sirredes yet. But I was in town, and the town watch said a Hinox was coming, so I decided to help out. Lo and behold, it turns out having four legs and two arms really gives you an edge against those things!" He laughed. "I knocked it down and punched it in the face until it got dizzy, and the militia finished it from there. Some of 'em were a bit frightened by me for taking it down, but most of them were grateful for my help. I didn't win that without getting headbutted, and the town doc said it was probably a concussion. So I was a bit slow for a month, but it healed pretty well."

At the question, Gwyn was silent. She looked to the side, then drew inward, sitting and hugging her legs. Raven decided to speak for her, after checking that their son wasn't in earshot. "... My dear Gwyn was... are you all right with me speaking of this?" He waited for her nod, only deciding to continue after he saw it. "She was captured by... certain enemies of the crown, during her career as a spy. Thank heavens she was found and broken out by other royal agents, but not before suffering some amount of torture. I'm proud to say she never broke, never yielded information. But that sort of experience scarred her. I don't blame her for doubting her employment afterwards. I was not yet a royal guard when she was retrieved, so I was asked to follow her and... keep an eye on her. Not only to ensure her safety, but... no one was sure how she would act after that. I'm sorry, my love." Gwyn shook her head at Raven's apology– nothing to apologize for. "She was in such pain, she would lash out at anyone and everyone. Even and especially me." "And you didn't understand, but you tried anyways," Gwyn's voice shook with sobbing at the recollection. "You were so kind... compassionate.. gentle." She wiped tears from her eyes. "How could I not fall in love with you?" A small smile quirked her lips. "I had many reasons to retire at that point.. but I was certain I had to do it then because of you. I knew I wanted to be with you, and if I died for my kingdom, then I would never know that bliss."

"The destruction of my hometown," Vair answered bluntly. "Losing everything when you're only six tends to 'impact' you harder than most people can imagine." A small, soft hand held his shoulder at that as Shanz stepped up. "It's okay. It's not a question meant to hurt you." While Vair huffed just a bit, Shanz explained in his place. "I'm told my husband had something of a death wish for a bit after that– I wasn't here for it, so this is secondhand knowledge. He wanted vengeance against the dragon that did it, at first, but then he heard the royal guardsmen had taken it down shortly after that tragedy happened. So you felt like you had no purpose, huh." At the query put to him, Vair only grunted. "But friends... friends can give you a new purpose. A six-year-old boy with a thousand-yard stare scares away most of his peers, but Prince Jacinto– as he was back then– approached despite the discomfort he gave everyone else. That's how they're so close, and why Vair took up the path of a knight. Sure, his uncle being a knight himself gave him a leg up, but he did it for his friend." "And you, my love?" Vair looked at Shanz. Shanz cast his gaze downward and away. "... It's not a day I like to remember. When I was eighteen, my world at the time came crashing down on me... and I barely had the power to mitigate it. One day, I was tired of it, sore about everything to do with it, and my mother– who I trusted to be kind and compassionate... she prodded me a just a bit too hard about my responsibilities, and I lashed out in agony. I spent a good hour wallowing in that pain... as if pain is an intense enough word... and I don't know what drove me to contact my friends. But I did. And they talked me out of the unthinkable. They didn't even talk, just listened until I got it all out. That... that was all I needed. So yes, I understand how big friendship can be in someone's life. I owe my own existence to those bonds. And no matter how far I travel... no matter how far behind I leave those friends... those bonds can never be cut."

(As a note: King Jacinto is a muse from @reginalucem; he's her Zelda's dad!)

[amazing-spiderling]

For the fic writer asks,

🌿how does creating make you feel?

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

<3

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Ahh... wow... well, sometimes during, a little stressed, ngl. That's probably why I enjoy working on projects with friends and sharing things so much- having someone to bounce ideas off of and work with helps take some of the pressure off, but I also don't want to let them down, so it keeps me engaged even when things get challenging. Then after a project gets shared/posted, there's an immediate sense of relief- like whew! I can take it easy for a day. (Or the, "nobody ever ask me for anything ever again" feeling haha). And over time, that relief turns to satisfaction, especially as I look back after a long time and thing, "Wow, yeah. I did that."

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I wrote a fic for a recent Metal Gear Solid zine called, "Dance Like You Want to Win", (an Evangelion reference I've been dying to use in an MGS fic for years). It was based on an idea I had for a story that was over a decade old, and I actually found part of my original draft collecting dust in the bottom of my google docs. I hadn't written for the fandom in a LONG time, and I was really worried about my characterization, the world-building, and having to write *action* scenes in a mission fic, neither of which are my forte. I was really worried people were going to read it and think I'd lost my touch.

But in the end, people liked it! I actually got compliments on the banter and overall, way more love than I was expecting, even some comments when I finally posted it to AO3. It felt like old times, and that really warmed my heart. <3

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

The story in question is "Kind of Cool" which is a mashup of sorts of two webcomics by Kieran Thompson, "This is the Worst Idea You've Ever Had" and "Cuanta Vida" which was a TF2 fancomic. I had to read over it, because I'd forgotten what it was about, honestly. XD

The TLDR is that two characters in TITWIYEH (a modern magic story) had a few familiar faces from Cuanta Vida (with names! and much happier fates), so I had two characters discussing their non-serious theory that linguistics professor Jordi Betrand was actually a French spy- the joke being that the man is so softspoken and gentle, he's clearly nothing of the sort. I did get a chuckle from myself at this

The young man shook his head again, running weary fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. "Nicole, Professor Jordi Bertrand has got to be the most unassuming and boring man on the entire planet. I doubt he's ever experienced anything more exciting than a birthday party in his entire life- and not even a surprise party! Like a regular one with invitations where everyone knows when and where to go."

A lot of the humor in this fic is reliant on people having read both comics... which explains why it has a whopping 2 kudos, but even after a decade, the easter eggs are still pinging in my brain, so I guess that means I hid some good ones. XD

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Oh, gosh. Hm. Sometimes, I'm a big believer in "being the change you want to see in the world" when it comes to fandom and creative works. If you can't find the thing you want, make it- and that includes your own hype. If I want a story to get a little more attention, I might do some artwork for it (or commission some if I'm able) to hopefully pique people's interest. I might also do stuff like record podfics or something. But usually, the "next step" is to just move on to the next project and hope it gets a warmer reception.

I've found that trying to work too hard to cater to other people's wants just to get the reception I want doesn't always go to plan- or worse, I might get lots of comments and kudos, but it feels hollow because I feel like I'm being told, "you're really good at knowing what we will like" instead of "you are really good at writing and expressing this idea"- so over time, I've gotten a lot more comfortable making things for me. That way I'm guaranteed at least one person will like it, in the end. And even my "weird" fics are eventually found by people who appreciate them- and that really means a lot.

[magpiefngrl]

do you think writer's block is an actual concrete thing? / what is writer's block to you?

Hey anon! When I wrote the post seeking asks, I'd added writer's block to the end of the things I'd like to chat about, and then deleted it because it is included in woes. But you read my mind!

This is going to be looooong. I'm putting it under a cut x

I've had debilitating writer's block in the past. Debilitating. I used to write and post fic regularly back in 2017-18--and then I stopped. For a time, I'd write but would hate everything. I'd feel empty of ideas and robbed of the ability to convey thoughts on page. I'd cross half my sentences out and doubt every word.

And then: I couldn't look at the page. I would think about opening a doc and I'd immediately distract myself with something else. The dishes, the cat, a new tab. It was like even the idea of writing touched some wound inside me and I'd flinch, I'd get that visceral reaction of "ouch, avoid avoid".

So, for me at least, writer's block is a real thing. It happens, it affects people, and it is so prevalent that thousand of articles have been written about it.

I've come to realise, though, that writer's block doesn't exist on its own. It doesn't just come at someone randomly like an unwelcome lottery ticket. It's an indication of something else.

(a pause here to say that writer's block isn't the time when a creative brain needs to rest. The fallow periods. That's normal, esp if you've overextended yourself. Pushing yourself to write at that time might make the brain rebel, and you might think you've got writer's block when all you need to do is take some time off and fill the creative well with fun activities.)

So what might the writer's block indicate? Anything from fear of failure, to insecurity, to perfectionism, to depression. When I'm depressed, I don't write. I have to treat the depression to get rid of the block. That's easy, in the sense that I know what depression feels like and I know how to deal with it. Or at least I know that it passes.

But fear of failure? Perfectionism? These aren't as easy to pinpoint, not for me, anyway. Also, those of us who have posted fics in fandom have the added stress of disappointing readers/followers. You've no idea how terrified I was about finishing my WIP, 9 1/2 days. I was sure that readers would be like "it's been years in the making so the story must be extraordinary" and then they'd read my normal, totally ordinary story and feel let down. At other times, I'd mentioned/promised birthday gift fics to people and I felt the pressure of time passing and me having nothing to show for it. So much stress.

We say that fandom is a fun place and we're here for the joy of being a fan, but this excessive positivity often doesn't allow for the negative feelings of having a story you're proud of go unnoticed. It happens. To all of us. It hurts like fuck. It hurts to see rec list after rec list and not see your name on it. And you feel like a dickhead for feeling resentment and anger about it, because you're not here for the stats, you're really not, but fucking hell--you thought that was a pretty good story and if no one really agreed, then you're not a good writer, right?

Why does writer's block come after you've posted ten fics and not before the first one, when you're a lot more inexperienced and new at this? I guess, higher stakes. Also, times of vulnerability come and go. Once, during my writer block years, when I was trying to get over it and go back to writing, I received a piece of feedback that devastated me. It hurt me so incredibly much that I couldn't (and didn't) think about a certain story for over six months. It was like this person, unwittingly, reached inside me, found where I was hurting, the soft, wounded part of me, and stabbed me right in the middle of it. It was a good lesson in learning to protect myself when I feel vulnerable emotionally.

Imagine trying to write, worrying that you'll let your readers down, certain that your best story is in the past and you've peaked already, anxious about making little progress and falling behind, upset that no one recs or talks about your latest fic--in other words it was a massive failure--(all of these were things I experienced at multiple times) and that's on top of the author's normal worries about trying to figure out the plot and the characters and whether this POV works for the story. Who wouldn't get blocked?

I'd better stop around here, this is something that I could discuss forever. My leaving thought would be that to treat writer's block one should:

first, see if it is writer's block and not burnout or fallow period, in which case: REST

second, try and reflect on what the block is hiding, and then deal with that.

third, care a lot less. I think, at the end of the day, writer's block comes because we care so much about writing a good story that it becomes an impediment. It helps to care less. I've been posting stories unbetaed in the last couple of years. It's a deliberate decision to take back the sensation of being an amateur writing for the fun of it.

send me an ask!

[cyberphuck]

Doctor looked at my blood test results and said "you're fine fuck off." But since the clinic I go to provides a copy of the results, I've gotten into the habit of checking them myself, because one time a doc said there were no abnormal results in my urine test and he'd missed the line that said "THIS PATIENT HAS A BLADDER INFECTION."

Anyway I'd told her I was concerned about anemia or low RBC, since I had a long history of anemia and iron deficiency. She said "nope looks fine" and moved on.

Guess who just found a low red blood cell count in their lab results? There are other results regarding my platelets that I'm not as experienced with pointing angrily at but I feel like after I'd mentioned anemia she'd at least *mention* them.

(All the other results were normal except for bile production which pinged *just* under normal range. I'm not gonna say that def means something, I'm not a doctor, but I have suspicions. And since bile production is *also associated with red blood cells,* again, I feel like she could have mentioned it.)

I'm so fucking tired of doctors. How do I go back and say "hey! Pay attention!" without sounding like a hypochondriac or a Google Doctor? Doctors *do not* like being corrected or even doubted and they *absolutely* will retaliate by refusing to order test results or just straight kicking you out of their office for being "argumentative."

I had been scheduled for an EKG in August, but I didn't go. You know, August, when applying for disability and having to go through my psych ward stays triggered me so hard that I'm *still* having regular anxiety attacks about it? But I couldn't even get those words out of my mouth before Doc sighs irritably and says "you know, I can order all the tests you want but I can't help you unless you go to them." FUCK OFF.

I used to trust doctors. But I discovered, after a doctor who ignored my concerns about a antipsychotic he'd prescribed, resulting in a medical emergency that left neurological damage *that I still feel 20 years later,* that most doctors just do not give a shit about you, and even the ones that do will get tired of your "hypochondria," even when there are obvious red flags that point to ACTUAL ISSUES, like chronic lower belly pain and cramping (it was appendicitis), panic attacks, mood swings and self harm (it was PTSD from ongoing abuse), restlessness and shakiness that later increased to my muscles locking up, making me unable to move, and being painfully bent into an unnatural position (it was a severe, life threatening reaction to medication that required emergency intervention-- and I still get tremors to this day), joint and limb pain (psoriatic arthritis), forearm pain after falling down the stairs (they took x-rays and were like meh ice it or something but a different doctor called me to tell me I HAD FRACTURED MY WRIST??), chronic knee and hip pain beginning at a young age (ONE OF MY LEGS IS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER???!???)

The list goes on, and on, and on. And fuck, I am so tired.

Good morning.

[ghost-town-story]

Hello and welcome to the thing I've been excited to do since July, aka holy fuck CoFaS is 10 years old now

So a few years ago, I went and reread the very first story I ever wrote and it was....... a fuckin time. So when I realized CoFaS was turning a decade this year, I thought it would be fun to do the same thing (reread and comment in a tumblr post as I go), but taking one piece of advice from the last time I did this.

Aka this is gonna be a drinking game lol

The rules are simple: 1. Drink whenever I cringe 2. Drink whenever the nickname "kitten" is used to blatantly pad the word count (because I do remember that is exactly the way I got to 50,006 words that year lol)

So, I've got my emotional support bottle of wine, some snacks, a sleepy kitty, and the old doc pulled up. Les go.

A quick aside, this is the reason why it's an emotional support bottle of wine:

A gift from a while ago from somebody who knows I go by Starlight online :D

Alright, les go

And immediately gonna pour one out for the awful age gap we have here. Blah blah blah, not all age gaps are bad, but considering Aiden starts out 11 and James is 19........ *takes a big fuckin drink*

At least the wine is good lol

Ah yes, establishing from the very first line that CoFaS is peak "Aiden gets hurt/traumatized and I'm having fun doing it"

I'm also counting moments where I just pause and start laughing bc oh god what is this description as cringing lol but yeah Aiden and Sirius had the most awkward relationship to write for the longest time and it really wasn't until pretty recently that I actually started to nail it down and it stopped being so gotdamn awkward

Also right now there's literally no plot. Ok to be fair there's no overarching plot of CoFaS other than "snippets of Aiden's life" but there are arcs usually but. We're three chapter/scenes in and there's not even an arc going right now. It's just. setting up characterization I guess?

Also lmao at my worldbuilding. In my defense I was what, 15 and in the middle of high school shit? learning how to write on the fly? not gonna hold it against tiny me but I'm still gonna smh

Yeah this age gap is not sitting well with me anymore. Not at fuckin all Do I want James and Aiden to be cute together? hell yeah would I rather James be like..... 14 in this scene rather than 20? hell yeah

Look I understand I wanted to show the traumatic event *sparkle sparkle* but I just. That's not how flashback dreams work at all *source: mild amounts of research I've done since then. Also the fact that I doubt he would remember shit with so much clarity from when he was two and passed out for part of it

One credit I will give to past me here though, I still don't know if that's actually how two-year-olds act lmao

Okay so at least part of this is gonna be me reading shit and going "lmao that's not how it works anymore!" scene: Aiden wakes up from a nightmare, wants his dad to comfort him how it would go now: wakes up from nightmare, will absolutely refuse to tell anybody about it except maybe James or Lexi. And only if they heard him wake up Sorry Aid, you have daddy issues now lol (and mommy issues. More of those tbh)

Okay I'm so fucking glad I scrapped that bit of worldbuilding bc why??? would only 1 of the 4 nations have a special name????? that allows others to control them????????

James you are 20 and he's 12 do not darling him

Also lmao at the number of times I describe somebody by their age rather than ya know. their fuckin name

Also we still have not had any arc that lasts more than 2 scenes and we're on page 4. On one hand: yeah fair writing fun offhand scenes is still a thing I do. On the other: I posted this to Figment oh my god. Anybody expecting a coherent story just gets this fuckin. mess What the fuck did I even put for the summary on Figment? I hope it was something that explained "hey this is a gotdamned mess with no overarching plot other than Aiden's life" lol

RIP Figment. You were the real one and I simultaneously mourn your loss and am glad you don't exist anymore cause I don't want people reading my old stuff but I wouldn't have the heart to delete it myself

Anyways I literally just said that and we reached an arc that has at least 3 scenes!

Oh no I spooped my cat cause of my laughing this one caused by the fact that I never fuckin specify how healing works at all. Just that it works enough to cause the maximum amount of whump I guess. That may not be the right word but bruh I am nearly through a glass of wine by now lol

babby Aiden is babby. and mildly a mood lmao

James, you need to stop fuckin flirting with a 12 year old one day I'll stop yelling about this. that'll be when Aiden is actually old/mature enough to be flirted with

“Dad’s not really the comforting type.” THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK FOR HIM 3-4 CHAPTERS AGO????

this age gap shenanigans is gonna give me an aneurysm i swear and i don't know if it's better or worse that Sirius is endorsing these shenanigans

Alright kitty has woken up and says it's break time so i'm making this a mandatory "go bury your face in nearby fluff and regain sanity from this nonsense" moment

Alright, had my break for snaccs and arguing about whether or not I'll be sober in 36-48 hours (long story), time to get back into the shenanigans also we're on page 5/77 and i'm about 1/3 through the wine. hence why the questions of sobriety in time for dnd sunday. anyhoot

AND IMMEDIATELY INTO THE WARRIOR CATS SCENE

okay so like. ya i was a warrior cats kid sue me lmao. so this next fucking scene (or maybe the next next there might be a leadup scene) is basically me going "i want the clan leaders meeting!" and having absolutely 0 justification otherwise. so ya. it is entirely for drama and to introduce "hey lookie all these other elementals none of whom we care about except for kinda Flame!" (and now I care a lot about Water too. Rip fuckin Earth lmao)

and another drink for fuckin what the fuck descriptions

yeah okay this bit of dialogue basically hits the nail of why i fucking hate the fuckin special name for Flame thingy. just a la "don't use that name." "it's your middle name deal with it" and like, Sirius is not meant to be seen as an abusive father! neglectful, kinda yeah. absolutely Does Not know how to talk/relate to his kid? abso-fuckin-lutely. full on abusive? no. but that bit of dialogue veers into sketchy/abuse territory and i don't like it

thank you to Lexi for interrupting this round of "James stop fucking flirting with a young teenager when you're 21"

I seriously don't think I actually named Sirius until this point, 7 whole pages in some mild clarification, I write in wall of text style. this current scene is 2 pages long with no proper paragraph breaks so. yeah

Ah yes. another thing that's different now, Fintan's entire characterization lol

you know, I'm just staring at this scene like "this would be a great set up for some plot" but at the same time I know that this is it. It's this fight and then these wolves are never showing up again. guess they got beat up in one fight! cool beans!

Kiddo you're way too alert for somebody who's hovering on the edge of consciousness lmao

For once we have some James characterization that I still like! aka he's a dumbass more concerned with other people's (in this case Will's) health than his own!

Oh god I posted this scene on the NaNo website as a snippet from the story. And I can tell you with 100% certainty that this fuckin scene was inspired by the Kingdom Keepers series (that I haven't read any of since like, 2013 probably lmao)

Oh yeah! this was when Will had selective mutism! but also. Aiden, James is periodically flirting with you and hanging out with you a ton. How do you not know this world's equivalent of sign language by now lol

Look, I still absolutely fuckin love dragons, but I just.... why here?? especially since I'm 90% sure they're never mentioned again??????

Okay, so I may have fallen asleep after only 10 pages, but in my defense I was tired from work/shit sleep schedule, and half a bottle of wine Did Not help lol. Anyways, onto day 2 and the rest of this scene (and arc if I remember correctly)

Lexi is a menace and a treasure and I gotdamned love her lol. I'm making it official she's the saving grace of 2013 CoFaS and we're not gonna talk about what happens to her yet

Oh Will you sweet awkward not-yet-a-sassy-sarcastic-bitch of a child <3

And again. Would much rather James be like, 15/16 in this scene than fuckin 21

I lied. There's one more scene to finish out this arc whoops lol

Again with the fuckin out-of-body experiences to show important plot points. like bitch just change perspectives you're gonna do it later anyways!

Two things I love *sarcasm* about this 1. I did no editing even when posting this to Figment. I coulda gone back and just made this random nameless healer Seren, but nooooooo Did Not think about that until now probably 2. Logically, why the fuck is James in this scene? Boi is getting invited to shenanigans he should not realistically be invited to lol

I like how I can recognize which arc this is from Sirius's first line bad news: I dislike this arc for many reasons now. tldr don't like it cause of compulsory/systematic heteronormativity, forced/arranged marriage of a goddamn 14 year old, more sketch age gaps (tho 5 years is better than the James/Aiden gap of 8), and the fact that I 100% fridged Lexi cause said systematic heteronormativity made her get in the way of my ship.

Anyways Sirius and Aiden interactions are still so awkward and ngl, I'm looking forward to [redacted unless you know of the CoFaS rewrite] bc it'll mean the end of the awkwardness

And James is immediately jealous. It would be kinda cute in an angsty way if he wasn't 22 (to clarify, jealous but trying to hide it cause he ain't gonna fuck up his sister's and best friend's "happiness")

Protective older brother speech? yeah okay questioning Aiden about if he actually loves Lexi? okay back off ma dude (also fun aside: my oldest brother "threatened" both of my exes while I was dating them. Cyrus was terrified of him for basically the rest of the time I knew him. Screw went "lol bet". So while these incidents were still a few years off for 2013 me, yeah I can see what inspired James's speech here lol)

OH MY GOD JAMES THAT'S HOW YOU GET EXECUTED FOR REGICIDE FUCKIN HELL

also lmao at the tiny-me not swearing bits

oh look, a perspective shift! wonder why I didn't use that earlier *deadpan stare*

Okay James is being a solid angsty drama queen this entire scene, which fair angst whatever but I gotta object to one thing and that is I don't really think losing your wings and watching someone you love marry your sister are really comparable here dude

also bud have you even asked Lexi if she loves Aiden or are you just assuming this is a marriage of convenience from all sides? (I sincerely don't know the answer for 2013 CoFaS. The answer for rewrite is yes love all around baybe)

heh, telepathy is just ported over from the OG universe just cuz

This also might've been the origin for Will calling her Lex and James calling her Lexi. Maybe. It's quite possible.

Oh James. You're such an overdramatic pining asshole lol

And that wedding scene is making me honestly contemplate finishing my glass of wine except it's a bit too full but several drinks are in order cause 1. No idea (then and now tbh) how "typical" weddings work 2. more broody jealous James 3. the knowledge of the gotdamn fridging to come 4. oh yeah the middle name shenanigans as well

oh and we immediately skip straight to the fridging! okay! goddamn! no goddamn martial bliss scenes for these two! nope just immediate "yeah Lexi's dying now" god I feel so bad for Lexi in this

Yeah okay maybe it's the fact that I'm a slut for angst but this scene was.... pretty good? like

Aiden let out a sound that was almost a hiccup, and he bit his lower lip hard to prevent any more sound from escaping.

goddamn that's a line I'd still use now tbh is the scene perfect? no Is it the best thing I've read so far of CoFaS? probably

also fun fact this is Alec's first appearance as a character. And it's the reason why in Band AU/basically anywhere else he appears he dyes his hair burgundy, cause that's his hair color in CoFaS. Callbacks yo

James. James now is not the fucking time. have some gotdamn respect for Lexi and stahp

I think this scene is gonna finish off my emotional support wine. We've got James flirting at inappropriate times! We've got awkward af Sirius trying to be a good dad! We've got more James flirting! and being mildly manipulative! fuckin hell!

Ya okay I know I like drama but this shit is hella toxic

Look I have no idea how old Aiden is right now but I'm gonna solidly say he's still too young for you to darling him James especially right after that emotional rollercoaster you put him through

"'If you're jealous,' [James said]" I'm sorry sir who's the jealous one in this relationship cause I'm pretty damn sure it ain't Aiden

Oh my god Aiden is 16. For fuck's sake man

"As James approached his room, which he rarely used now, and Aiden’s, which he was in far too often to be proper," I'm not giving y'all the end of this line but I like it lol

Yeah this is. definitely a sign of how I've changed over the years past-me: doesn't like unhappy endings at all, therefore *magically* gives Aiden his wings back bc it'd be too sad if he didn't have them now-me: BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY BAYBE (aka he has stumps of wings and they never grow back. just enough for tattered feathers and bitter reminders)

and Awkward Sirius makes an immediate reappearance! and like, cool, you're cool with your son being gay, but maybe you should be having an issue with the fact that he's 16 and James is 24 ffs

“[Dumb] names have power.” “I know. You tend to use mine a lot when I’m being unruly.” I! Hate! This! Worldbuilding! Thank Fuck It's Scrapped!!

Wait. Wait wait wait. so whoever gives them the dumb name-- actually fuckit i'm too tipsy again to explain this I'll just quote the snippet

It’s not just the name itself that has power, but who gives it to him. For example, if your mother had been the one to give you your [dumb] name, then you would have been loyal to her, even at the cost of your wings.

THEN WHO DID ACTUALLY GIVE AIDEN HIS NAME???? I'd assume it'd have to be a Person of Flame due to ya know. It being a Flame thing but like. Then who??? Fintan????? some rando????? not Ashton cause he wasn't born yet (at least in redone canon but still they're close enough in age that he would have been unborn or babby af) but. who the fuck gave Aiden his name then?????????????? We don't get a fuckin answer and I'm not sure I ever had one!!!!

so sometimes I have to laugh cause otherwise i'd have to scream "what the fuck" at this and i have neighbors and it's currently 10 pm and I like to have the moral high ground thank you very much (over their dumbass yappy dog who barks at 1 am sometimes) but anyhoot I start laughing and woke up my kitty so while she bullies me I'm implementing another "bury face in the fluff and maybe get a snacc" break

Alright have gotten some snaccs again, bullied nats for a bit (<3), discovered that bubbly pink moscato is sadly Not It and broke out the second, non-emotional-support bottle of rosé. Time to continue Also we're now 22 pages in. we're doin great lol

they're married now and i'm still smh at how fuckin young Aiden is for this relationship. goddamn I like how I aged Aiden up for all of the main tragedies but I made them hit way fuckin harder in the rewrite. (he's 16/17 in original, ~20 if i remember correctly in rewrite) (also 2 vs 8/10? for wings)

Ah yes, an actually reoccurring antagonist: humanity :P

also yeah baby me did not like the thought of her uwu-baby characters actually killing people. p sure I made the faceless waves of enemies in the OG story robots for that purpose, and now James is just knocking people out cause he don't wanna kill how the fuck did he get promoted to head guard at this rate Sirius what the fuck is the state of your guards Do I think irl murder is bad? yes! do I think that characters and stories are a different matter and there's a lotta nuance! also yes! is this shit that may get me "cancelled"? probably!! but fuckin hell rené's arc in the superhero wip is gonna cause that anyways!

meanwhile I'm pretty sure Will just electrocuted like at least a dozen people and I'm fine with that XD "unconscious from electrocution" now I'm not doctor and I don't want to concern my dad by texting him "hey if you get electrocuted is it 100% chance of death or like 50/50 between death and unconsciousness?" and my selo (med student) is probably asleep by now, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if they're unconscious, they're probably pretty dang close to death *take everything said just above with a grain of salt. again, i'm not a doctor, i'm tipsy, and i don't feel like googling this shit lol

Okay I distinctly remember this bit was inspired by this series I read called Eon/Eona? specifically the part where the emperor had the necklace of his position sewn to his throat. pretty fuckin metal for it to stick with me better than the title of the books lmao. But yeah. That's where the initial idea of the leaders' "necklaces" came from

James is once again a dumbass about his own health in favor of worrying about others! (this time Aiden)

90% sure this isn't how the medical side of this works

seriously why can't the kid have a sedative or three lol

and some potential gross medical negligence here but hey, who's counting! what doctors are gonna read this shit! (maybe selo, if she read the original while it was up on Figment lol but that was well before she was a med student)

absolutely not the point but something got corrupted somewhere in the what, 4 computer swaps since this was written? and now there's just a random "emoji error" box at the end of this paragraph and I don't know why lol cause I swear I never put emojis of any sort in my official writing (except for stuff that was explicitly characters texting) and definitely not at the end of the paragraph where Aiden's about to go to his father's funeral

ok it wasn't technically medical negligence cause James basically discharged himself against medical advice/medical attempts to keep him in bed lol

I am fairly certain that unless Alec is on a chair right now, that action should be impossible without Aiden leaning/crouching down, except I just say "reach". ffs and Aiden's definitely standing so i really dunno lol

Yeah I just couldn't write formal ceremony stuff for shit lol

There's so much going on that I'm just like. man. what the fuck. so much drama. so much sketchy stuff happening in the name of "i love you"

oh it's mild flashback time to a different POV okay lol

okay so. James. how do you not know about Aiden's fire powers? bc again. known each other for basically Aiden's whole life and also. pretty sure Aiden saved James's life earlier with them (but i don't remember cause i was tipsy when I read that last night and I don't wanna backtrack lol)

okay again. I have no idea how two-year-olds work. but i get the feeling this is...... not quite right?

Whump time!!

ah yes, overprotective James

yeah for the most part that wasn't bad until the last fuckin bit. You know, Sirius may be dead now but I think Fintan decided he was immediately going to step into the role of "awkward father figure" for Aiden smh

whump whump!!

ah yes, the ol' "christianity apparently exists in this universe cause i'm very raised catholic!"

babby Alec!!!! again not sure if I'm writing him right for a two year old but I don't care right now it's babby Alec and Ryder! (oh yeah Ryder is also originally from CoFaS lol)

"I'm Sky. Look I'll show you my dad is Sky." Alec honey you have wings that's proof enough that you're at least part Sky oh now you mention the wings! smh child

okay it's official Alec and Ryder are carrying the story with their cuteness cause I don't have to facepalm every time they flirt (when they're older) cause they're actually close to the same age! no sketch ass age gaps here!!

lmao Ashton's first bit of actual characterization. He's not bad as a character, just... underutilized probably

Alanna-now-Laguna! now the babbiest of babbies now that Alec's eight

but good news I think we're at the age where I can reluctantly be okay with the Aiden/James relationship.

oh yeah! I didn't exactly forget but I definitely got surprised by the revelation that Aiden's mother and the guy who helped cut off his wings were actually married

Okay actually I wanna outline what the fuck is happening a la Ashley (Aiden's mother, gonna be renamed like Ashton), Sirius, nameless guy, and Ashton (at least in the rewrite version, though 2013 was mostly similar) so. Ashley and nameless guy are married for love. partners in crime and all that jazz Sirius has a mild crush on Ashley since basically he's a teenager, but due to unspecified war between the Sky and Flame, obviously does not act on that until his father dies and Sirius goes "hey Fintan. Wanna end this war and do political marriage stuff wink wink" So, (this is specifically rewrite lore), they get married, with the stipulation that their first child will be the heir to the Sky, and their second will be heir to Flame, as at the time Ashley was Fintan's only child and therefore the heir to Flame. Ashley is Not Happy, but since marriage to nameless guy was basically secret shotgun wedding, Fintan doesn't know and she doesn't want to tell him about it. Plus, she's like "nah let's keep going with this war stuff I kinda hate Sky." well due to political shenanigans she gets strongarmed into the political marriage, but she and nameless dude conspire that okay, if she has to do this, then she's gonna take down the Sky Kingdom from the inside, using her child the heir of the Sky (Aiden) She refuses to have a second child, which Fintan catches onto after a while, and either planned or a happy accident, Ashton is born and declared the heir of Flame Ashley then kidnaps Aiden once his wings grow and cuts them off so he'll look a better Flame puppet, things backfire and she gets caught and imprisoned for that, with nameless guy slipping free of justice

and apparently in the 2013 version Ashley and nameless guy planned to kill off Sirius if Aiden was born Flame, and when he was born Sky they cut off his wings basically out of spite so there's that, and also planned to throw Ashley under the bus for cutting off Aiden's wings so nameless guy could keep their evil plans going.

also apparently I used to not be consistent whether I used Sky or Air. Cause Aiden's referred to as a Child of Air here, but in the title it's very specifically Child of Flame and Sky, and I've definitely standardized it to be the Sky by now

Aiden honey it's the simplest fucking code and Fintan practically gave it to you I'm begging you to be smart honey no Fintan has to be explicit before Aiden gets it okay *disappointed sigh in my blorbo*

and again with the knocking people out, not killing them shenanigans lol

whump and trauma time!!

damn that's gotta be not hygienic, an operating table stained with blood that's about 2 decades old

that's called a concussion my dear Aiden <3

yeah okay that's some fuckin racism right there (to be fair, framed as a bad thing, but still. sheesh)

another cat break. she's very pretty and purrsuasive what can i say?

James, honey, I understand what you're going for, but this is a shit way to comfort your very traumatized husband right now

okay and immediate 180 into cute teenage Alec and Ryder shenanigans, okay lol

Alec you wannabe-suave motherfucker lol

Ryder: blushes red Me: but his blood is blue!! And if it's later in this version that I mention James blushing blue or something like that I'm gonna take a drink for this mistake. I know I def fixed that by like, the rewrite lol

Ah yes, Alec is taking after his uncle :P aka please honey, I know you're being romantic, but get a fucking yes outta him first before you start kissing him also I'm 90% sure I've swapped their personalities now lol like CoFaS Alec: wannabe-suave and flirty CoFaS Ryder: awkward, unsure of how to react Band AU Alec: unsure of how to react when cute boy flirts with him Band AU Ryder: friendly and outgoing and willing to flirt with cute boys

Okay he did get a yes this time so baby steps in the right direction!

goddamn nerds lol

Okay this is both a. the origins of the kitten nickname for Aiden and b. the origins of the fox association i sometimes have for Alec

"The cat didn't answer, being a cat" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

do do do do do WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY? Alec: the fox says fuck off (I have that as a reoccurring joke between Alex and Jason. Cause Jason's a fox shapeshifter in OG/ASTHC canon and they are my 2013-2015 meme children)

Yeah I definitely swapped who's the more uuuuuh... dom is the best word I can think of in this relationship

lmao somehow despite knowing Alec since they were both ~2 Ryder somehow doesn't know that's a nickname

Also, Alec having premonitions of the future is what inspired Lexi in the rewrite to have them as well. Alec inherits a decent amount from his mother: her premonitions, her purple-tipped wings, I can't think of more rn lol

Okay I do like describing Alec as ashen because. He looks more Flame than Sky lol

Aiden no stop that that's shitty parenting!

and Alec has a very valid reaction to Aiden and then Ryder continually using his dumb name! good for you Alec! "I would have never told you if I knew you would abuse it like this!" Ah. see this? this hurts in an "Alec honey you're so fucking right" way

Ryder that's real fuckin shit of you to be like "ok come here I'll comfort you" only to immediately turn around and try and control your boyfriend again. I know you have orders from his dad, but that's still really fuckin shit of you dude luckily Alec has the proper response of slapping Ryder and calling him out on his bullshit

i like how outta all the characters, Ryder is the one who has no restrictions on killing people. At the beginning of this arc he was introduced as training with James to be part of the royal guard, and now like 3/4 scenes later he's just straight up killed at least 2 people on screen. goddamn ma boi

“Knife training 101,” he said, almost irritated. “Stab them, don’t get stabbed yourself, try to aim for the head or heart. Understand?” fuckin lmao

welcome to the trauma boat Alec! your dad will help you get acquainted. probably

hello deus-ex-machina my old friend, you've probably appeared before but this is the most blatant to me

You know, the thought just occurred to me: Sirius with Aiden: kingly duties come before parental duties Aiden: yeah that sounds about right Aiden with Alec: Parental duties come before kingly duties Alec: you have king stuff to do and that obviously takes precedence over me

That line is a goddamn quote and I don't remember from what book potentially a Shadowhunters book??? update I looked it up and the answer is yes and of course it's a malec quote lol i'm still fucking soft for malec despite not having read any shadowhunters books since high school let me live (fun aside: i got selo to read those books and she came to tennis practice and yelled across the court "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE INCEST" and i just died laughing and told her to wait for whatever the book was (CoG, if I remember correctly is when the incest is revealed to not be incest. not that I cared that was/is my least favorite ship) ANYHOOT)

yeah okay that whole bit is making me laugh harder than it should. curse you wine lol

anyways this was 100% the origin of Willow and Wisp before I coopted them for Nova!

oh my fucking god so the chapter that was origins of Aiden = cat and Alec = fox apparently was added later, potentially near the end of that NaNo. You know how I know that? cause I remember having to edit this scene for continuity and it's still awkward as hell!

poor babby Alec. he's doin his best and also nobody has told him "hey your boyfriend's alive" yet

god Rowan is just. a fuckin cardboard cutout of a character. he has no personality beyond what's necessary in the moment

Aiden this is not the way to deal with your son grieving his boyfriend just fuckin tell him ffs

I do appreciate Aiden just full naming Alec and not dumb naming him when he's like "Alec stop doing the dumb thing you're doing"

more Aiden whump! and cute Alec and Ryder reunion dawww

"Aiden was struggling for something to distract him from the pain, to distract his mind from the fact that his entire forearm was cut open and the skin peeled away for wires." goddamn my dude. you're really having a rough time aren't you lol

Oh my god I just shifted POV in the middle of a scene goddamnit

sir i really doubt you could avoid a gunshot at basically point blank range lol

And at this point, I fucked up bc Alec escaped in the last scene, and then I had him fighting alongside Ryder in this scene until I remembered continuity is a thing and went back to fix it lol

James sir water is not a softer landing than sand, especially from high up lol

oh my god i remember that i was gonna make that a thing throughout all my universes, and then i never did except for maybe the original OG James and Aiden story that got scrapped XD

and another pov shift in the middle of a scene smh

they are both such stubborn bastards omg

yeah of course they've been happy too long we've gotta add the misunderstandings plot in :P

Ah yes some good ol' fashioned sexism :P

yaas bois communicate like the fuckin adults you are

oh those nerds

so we're winding up the "story" which means major time skips now!

oh this is..... not the best way to kill off a character, but hey, i guess i wanted to get one last stab in at Aiden huh?

good lord that was...... something. later chapters were better than earlier ones, though that may have been because the level of tipsiness was higher lmao. but also I just like drama more and the early chapters were a lot more awkward setting up shit while later ones were "hey have actual situations with consequences!" if that makes any sense. If not, that's cool, i'm hella tipsy anyways

anyhoot, kudos to past me for doing that while being in high school + doing theater (pretty sure we were close to if not putting on a show during november) + finding time to binge watch Sword Art Online + all the shenanigans required of being a functional member of the family. I have no idea what I was on during high school but gotdamn would I like a hit or three now lol

So, two nights and 1.5 bottles of wine later, I bid you adieu. have fun, don't die, don't get kidnapped, I'll see y'all with my last couple spotify wrapped prompts soonish and then in February ✌️

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Thank you (again) to @fangirlwriting-stories for the tag!!! I love these :D

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

61!  

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

573,015

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Sanders Sides at the moment - I usually only really write for one fandom at a time, haha. Though technically hell's belles too? Because of the crossover?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

I hate that I wrote for the bnha fandom - my lovely tss fics have been entirely outshined (if you go and find these fics I will personally steal every left sock you own.).

These are all My Hero Fics, please go give my TSS fics some kudos and love before I cry.

5 -Cuddles at Midnight, with 529

4 - Objective : Initiate Hitoshi Shinso, with 566

3 - The Adopt A Hero Foundation, with 852

2 -New Beginnings, with 3187

1 - Not Cut Out For Heroics, with 7851.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do! I always try to, at least on all my SaSi fics, I don't really respond to comments on the bnha fics anymore unless someone says something particularly interesting because I can't stand to look at them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings, really :/ please correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think I've ever written anything with a particularly sad ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Also pretty hard to choose because theres so many dndjkxkdd dnjdjxsk possibly 'Across Land and Water'?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have only got hate comments like a couple of times and every time they were really fucking pathetic. So... Take that as you will, lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't, but I'd really like to, if I can ever work myself up to it haha. There's not enough monsterfucking in the tss fandom when there's more than enough opportunities.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't usually write crossovers, In my brain I don't see the point in rewriting the story of one thing but with the characters of another?

But! I love fandom fusions, which I guess is a subcategory of crossover? Which is just, when I add the characters of one fandom into the setting of the other, keeping the original's storyline and characters the same.

I've only actually written one of these - my hell's belles crossover/fusion! Which I love very much!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, haha, I have found some of my art on Pinterest though.

(where the fudgecakes is question 12??)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've written a few things with @viola-halogen , none of them have ever seen the light of day lol (as far as I remember?), but they were all incredibly fun. I also used to rewrite angsty fic endings (with permission from the authors) with two other people who were both very awesome. Those are still on wattpad somewhere.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Honestly don't have one? Not an all time favourite. It always depends on what fandom I'm in? So currently it's Prinxiety, or Roceit, or Anaroceit. When I was in the bnha fandom it was tododeku. Etc.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Most of them?

I'm honestly so sad I don't think I'll ever finish Crown Princes and Butterfly Wings. I'll probably never 'finish' my New Year's AU, and there's been so many wips sat in my doc for almost a year that I don't think I'll finish :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

This is so hard to answer, I'm having a bit of a 'i hate everything I'm doing' moment rn, cndjdksks - I love writing dialogue, and I love character design/backstory creation and AU worldbuilding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Executing the plot I came with. Sticking to my fucking plans (the fics are always worse when I improvise xndjkdks)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I feel like it can be done well? And it's always cool - at least if the author provides some kind of translation so I can actually still follow the fic.

I don't do it personally because I don't know any other languages and feel like I'd probably offend someone if I Google translated it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically? Either the Rainbow Magic book series or this one mermaid kids book series I don't quite remember the name of. When I was really little. My first fanfic that I knew was fanfic was Aphmau.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Ribbons and Rainstorms, by a mile. Go read it if you haven't, I love it so much!!!!

Tagging: @viola-halogen (If you want to, just because I already tagged you in this post lol), , @naminethewriter, @edupunkn00b, @prodigal-explorer <3