#but also i am yelling first. not mad-yelling. annoyed-yelling at most. but that doesn't mean it's not a very bad feeling to get yelled at.

[anaalnathrakhs]

me when i realize i am a very agressive person and the second it stops being turned at people who have at least like, three different kinds of authority over me, it crossed from toxic to straight up abusive behavior (i will willingly ignore this yet again because i don't know what else to do and it feels really good to be an asshole without consequences)

[kaieraai]

I wish that I wasn't as angry as I often am.

When I was really small, I remember telling my teachers "I've got a temper, just like my dad." My dad was prone to yelling, and I learned early that people who had power over me would often force me to sit still while they yelled, berated, or otherwise scolded me, and that this behaviour had very little to do with my performance, and much to do with their own lack of patience, or personal coping skills.

I'd often unfocus my eyes, which annoyed them more, because I wasn't "listening". Their treatment made me distrust and even truly dislike adults, and even once I was an adult myself, I found myself easily intimidated by those older than me. Age was synonymous with power for a long time, and it is still a pre-programmed response from me I struggle to remove myself from.

But there is anger in my heart, there is anger in my mind, in my body, my nervous system responds to most negative stimulus with anger first, and then sorrow second. Maybe it's hereditary, maybe its the poison in my food, slowly shrinking the part of my brain that can regulate emotions and produce empathy. Maybe theres no reason other than me, somehow failing to have the coping skills that would help soothe my rage, that would keep me grounded in the first place. But the fact is, I am angry.

I am angry at the government, I am angry at all the people who voted for this. I am angry at the people who don't swerve for animals in the road. I am angry at my shitty co-workers who can't be decent. I am angry that the work I do and the time I spend are not enough to buy a house, to survive a medical leave of absence. I am angry that helping my husband find gender affirming care is getting harder. I am angry at the people on facebook who try to tell me that I am somehow the problem, not their ignorance or their hate. I am angry as all hell and I want to rage.

I am angry at the people who tell me my rage invalidates me, probably most of all.

Because when I ask politely for all the injustices of the world to end, they don't.

So, what I have learned, is that it doesn't matter if the message is polite. It doesn't matter if the message is eloquent. It doesn't matter if the message is loud and clear. There will be people who cannot understand it, and will not hear it. It doesn't matter how hard you try to be understood, because just like me, tuning out the adults who scolded me as a kid, someone will just unfocus their eyes and ignore you. But also, just like me, it means the message wasn't actually for them. Their anger wasn't for me. My anger can't be understood by those who refuse to listen. I can save myself the energy of trying to share genuine fears and disgust with those who lack the empathy to recieve my message.

The right people will be listening. Its worth speaking truth and hope for the right people. Its worth finding those people with your voice, and its worth it because that is how we create communities.

Keep speaking up, and don't worry if you're soft. Don't worry if you're calm. Its okay if you're angry. There's a lot to be mad about. The right people can validate you. They can help soften your voice, or make it bolder, more eloquent, more measured.

Take a moment to consider who you should be speaking to, but please, keep speaking.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 2 Side D

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

Propaganda for Shanks x Benn:

Daddies hot

A (somewhat) idiot captain, and a calm, cool and collected first mate! Oda literally stated that if Shanks was the sun, then Benn would be his moon. They balance each other out very nicely and I know that one will always take care of the other.

Classic captain/first mate ship. Beckman got all white hair at 50 for dealing with Shanks I know that. There's a part in film Red when Beckman calls Uta "our daughter" that activated my monkey brain.

Your honor they are married! The domestic fluff is all there. Benn loves his captain even though he is a handful and is always there to support him. Shanks has also followed in his parents footsteps and honoring the tradition of falling in love with your first mate. But I mean honestly can you blame him. Plus they raised a kid together!

SHANKSBENN!

[thecluelessdoctor]

H… Hanabee SAS au? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

(Lmao im sorry if the SAS asks are annoying 😭)

:OOO their not annoying at all anon!! Actually no asks are annoying lol.

ANYWAY

She would definitely not understand it as first like- would not compute. 'a... kids show????' she would take it a bit literally and then go searching for actual children because.. shes not all that bright.

After she realizes what they meant she just kinda- stops working I suppose. I mean, everything had felt like they really happened!! Liek- everything with her family, her friends.. it was all a lie?? She definitely has a bit of a identity crisis, but it's soon resolved when she finds a new reason to keep pushing forward. everyone is always so stressed anymore, so, even if they don't want her help, she'll try and make them feel better. Or at least tear them away from their work (the number of times she would grab frank and lift him over her head laughing like a mad man is insane..)

Of course, that doesn't mean she doesn't mess up! Although the burden of her world not even being real doesn't effect her as much as some, she still definitely messes up. She tends to accidentally mention what her and the other neighbors have talked about to Wally, mostly because shes just trying to understand it, ending up in her being punished.

She's probably the second most punished out of everyone in all honesty. She's definitely gotten alot clumsier lmao, so she joins in on Sally's lessons. Though she doesn't like the fact Sally tends to yell at them, spefically Eddie. She's naturally protective, so she might get a little bit protective over Eddie when she does :')

Homes favorite punishment for her was to tear off her wings. But after a while, she just.. gave up on trying to have them fixed all the time. It was extremely painful when they were torn off, so she just.. stopped letting Poppy fix her. Poppy just patched up the holes on her back.

Anytime Wally asks what happened to her wings, she'll (try) and keep a calm exterior and say 'just a little accident, that's all. You know how I am!' and then.. move on. And Wally believes her. Why wouldn't he, his friends wouldn't lie!

Due to her being Howdys cousin (at least that's what she knows..) she trys to take care of him. She doesn't exactly know how to stop Howdy from drinking, aside from force which she's learned isn't the best way, so instead she just.. takes care of him when he's passed out, or deathly drunk. If it's during the day, she'll try and run the shop to the best of her abilitys (she isn't the best to say the least)

She also avoids it when the neighbors collab to try and sleep.. normally to the point we have Mr 'coping very well with my problems' dragging her out of the storage room. Although howdy doesn't even have any fake memories of her, she's the closest thing to family he has.

She tends to avoid the sleepovers not just due to nightmares or night terrors, but she can always feel the stare of that house on her, even more so during the night..

So, like you might think, even when everyone else is finally asleep, she's still awake, looking out the window to Wally's home, waiting for it to stir towards them..

She might be a bit more stressed, but she's still the silly (a little dumb) Hanabee we know

SAS AU belongs to @anonymous-paperbag

[nathank77]

9/5/24

9:12 p.m- Added to 9:30 p.m/ Added to again at 10 p.m

I mean I think he wants to disappear on me and I'm making it difficult for him. I want to believe he is a good person and something not so bad happened but he couldn't make it. And he is recovering but if nothing happened he had me sit there for 30 minutes during which time he purposely ignored me and let me sit there while I was worried about him.

I actually looked at obituaries bc I'd like to believe he is a good person but I doubt it at this point.

I guess I'll try to find another therapist. I won't talk to them about Kristen bc it may be the reason the new ones disappear.... and I won't mention my hallucination bc I mean that could be a reason too. I won't talk to them about microsleep. I won't talk to them about anything. My dogs. My anxiety.

I won't open up. Then why would they abandon me? I mean I won't have much to talk about. I'll just talk about ocd and barely talk. Cause I mean being open isn't working.

Mike I'm almost positive doesn't want to deal with me. I mean he brought up mania bc of white mulberries... and I fought him bc I'm not fucking manic. I didn't yell at him but I brought up 500 facts about why I'm not. And he at the end of the appt was like okay you aren't manic.

Idk I just need therapy at this point bc I need to stay on disability to stay alive.. I need real therapy but therapists don't want to deal with the real me I mean it is what it is.

I feel like he is either trying to stick a label on me that truly doesn't fit. Or he wants to make me mad. If he has been listening I'm so not manic. You could prove I have ptsd. I mean a voice comes from ptsd but the ptsd is from the voice and microsleep.

If I can accept i have psychosis, why can't I accept that I'm maniac? Wouldn't that be better? I mean label wise??? I am not maniac. That's the thing. I'm not reckless. I'm not anything like a maniac person. I don't suffer from mania. I'm not even depressed. Sure I get really fucking sad cause my life sucks but! I also spent a lot of time gaming and doing things I love. I'm so motivated to find all the collectibles and figure out the whole resident evil 7 game.

I want to 100% the achievements and do all the dlcs. I also want to get resident evil 8 and do all the same.

Beyond that I want to play resident evil one. I own it already and I'm excited it's like silent hill with the controls and puzzles...

I mean I have motivation. I have pleasure doing things I love. I want to go to the gym but I can't afford it and I'm not reckless so I'm not getting a gym membership.

If I was truly maniac I could accept it bc I can accept that I virtually have schizophrenia for christ sake. I'm not indenial.... the shoe doesn't fit.

I have ptsd. I have psychosis or schizophrenia if that's what you want to call it but it's psychosis bc the voice got lower.

I mean if the shoe fit for mania I'd accept it but it DOESN'T. So this is why I argue back. White mulberries don't have a LD50 per several research studies... but either way we butt heads and it annoys him that I don't roll over.

I'm not getting assigned a label that is incorrect. He doesn't even believe psychosis is real. But it is. The voice gave me ptsd. Now I have ptsd from the voice and microsleep.

I am not hypomanic.

If I could get my hdcp bypasser to work I'd be super excited to work on my shattered memories Playlists for alternate ending guides. I'd be super excited to work on my sh2 greatest hits alternate ending guides.

I don't match the symptoms. The label doesn't fit cause I truly am not manic. And I'm sorry but im going to butt heads with you about that label bc it's wrong.

Label me with what I have: psychosis, ptsd, panic attacks and anxiety thats my true diagnoses.

Anyways look at how fucking much fun I had playing re7. I'm already on my second playthrough half way through with half the collectibles and I'm fucking loving it.

I want to buy them all but most of them aren't first person which is the only off putting thing for me. But moral of the story is if you try to label me I'll fight you with facts.

If he said you have psychosis ld say ummm yes I do. If he said you have ptsd I'd say yes i do. If he said I think the voice became apart of your ptsd I'd say maybe. Cause it's not impossible but that's not how it started. It started with psychosis.

If he said i have schizophrenia I'd fight it bc I don't have visuals which is a hallmark and i have no negative symptoms. I just suffer from auditory and tactile. It's 1000% psychosis.

And ptsd induced by psychosis and microsleep. I tried to sleep I wasn't up all day playing vjdeo games cleaning the house and running errands I laid there for hours 20 hours a day trying to the sleep. The remaining 4 hours I used the bathroom and cooked food. I showered and then tried to sleep.

I don't have mania of course I'm going to buttheads with him about it.

[vdlest]

Our Place To Have Forever

Characters:

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:

You and Bucky are finally moving in together.

Warning:

Fluff

"Come on, stop playing around, Buck!" you yelled at your boyfriend, who you are currently chasing around the empty living room of your newly bought house.

You are chasing him because he has your checklist of the things that should be done and followed as you two move in together. But he insists that you two should just be spontaneous about it and enjoy this milestone in your lives.

"James Buchanan Barnes, I told you, give that to me!" you yelled again as you continue to chase him. You already used your "commanding" tone which you only use during missions.

Bucky knew you're already getting annoyed with him, aside from the fact that you are using your commanding voice, you already mentioned his full name.

He finally stopped running around, but still not letting go of your clipboard checklist.

You stood in front of him, giving him a death-defying glare, "Give it to me," you uttered word by word. But he did not move a bit. He kept the clipboard away from you, "Are you really testing my patience, Mr. Barnes?" you asked him, narrowing your eyes.

Bucky chuckled and quickly kissed your forehead, "You know, you're more beautiful when you're mad," he joked.

"We still have a lot of things to do, Bucky," you remind him, then you extended your hand towards him, "So give that to me."

Bucky knows being organize is your thing. You want everything to be in its right place, right position, and right timing. You want everything to be done and accomplished at the perfect time. Instead of getting annoyed with your perfectionist attitude, he loves that about you.

"Baby, you should stop worrying about your list just for today and be carefree," he told you. He grabbed your hand and slowly asked you to turn like a ballerina, "Let's just enjoy this moment, this brand new start for us," when you turned around, he pull you towards him, pressing your body against each other.

Maybe this is the reason why you and Bucky are staying strong together — you two were complete opposites, but that doesn't change the fact that you two are madly and deeply in love with one another. And that made the two of you decide to finally move in together.

"Oh, baby, can't believe we've gotten this far already," you said and placed both of your hands on his shoulder, you two were almost dancing.

Bucky smiled, "And we still have a long way to go, baby. Forever starts today," he told you. When he realized he just used the word forever, his facial expression changed and he frowned, "Did I just use the F word?"

You giggle and nodded, "You just did and I'd love to hear it more often from this mouth of yours," you looked at his lips.

His hand traveled to your waist and you could feel the way he squeezed your waist, "Uh, what if we keep ourselves busy first with something more important?" he asked you, emphasizing the word "more" as his brows go up and down, "What 'ya say about that?"

You chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

You lost count of the times you two had made love, but each time you do it, you are still surprised by how good and intense he gets. After all, it's not just about you two being horny bunnies, it's not just about you two satisfying each other, it's not just about lust, it's all about how you two love each other to the extent that you two are willing to give your all to each other.

"Oh, I love you so much, Bucky," you sighed as you stare at his face, reflecting on how much you two have been through just to get to where you two are right now, "Everything happened so fast. It was like only yesterday when we met and this morning I woke up we're loading all our boxes and stuff to move to this new place we're gonna call home. It's like we're really living our happily ever after."

Bucky must've noticed when your smile changed a bit, he must've sensed something is bothering you and your thoughts.

"What's wrong?" he cupped your face as he asks you.

You sighed and shook your head, "I just...I just," you stutter, trying to find the right words to explain what's really bothering you.

"Come on, Y/N. You know that you can always tell me anything, right?" he assured you. Bucky won't stop anyway until you finally tell him what is really bothering you and your thoughts.

You first gave him a small smile, then you finally had the courage to tell him, "I'm just afraid that this happiness we're experiencing right now will have something in return," you shuddered. You cleared your throat first before explaining everything to Bucky, "I mean, I am happy for us. I have never been this happy and content. I just don't want something or someone to ruin these beautiful moments, this, us," you added.

For the past weeks that you and Bucky were planning for this day, for this move-in day to your new home, you could never be so happy, but a little part of you starts to think that something bad might happen in exchange for the happiness that you and Bucky are sharing.

You promised yourself that you're just gonna keep that thought in you, but you and Bucky also promised that you two will never keep a secret from each other, most especially if the other party is involved.

He is involved, so yeah, you told him.

"Baby, nothing and no one can tear us apart. You and I will always be together, and even if we aren't physically together all the time, you are always in my heart and I am inside yours. These are just words but our love is stronger than anything, right?" Bucky asked you.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to lose you," you looked down, fighting the urge to cry and avoiding ruining the moment.

He let go of one of your cheeks and held your chin to make you look up to him again, "You'll never lose me. I'll never lose you. And just like what I said, no one can tear us apart. I won't let them," he leaned forward and kissed your forehead, then pull you close as he wrapped his arms around you.

Feeling Bucky's warmth makes you feel at home all the time like no one and nothing can harm you. You guess that's what he'll do for the rest of your lives, he will always cage you around his arms and make your fears all go away.

"We're on the new chapter of our lives," you heard him say while hugging you, and slowly guiding you to sway with him, "And this place, this place will serve as our new home, the place where we'll invite our family and friends over for every special occasion or even just for a simple gathering, the place where we'll always choose to come home to, the place where we'll start to build our own family, the place where we'll raise our kids, the place where we'll grow old together, and the place we'll always have, forever. And yeah, I just used the F word again."

You chuckle as you pull away from his hug to meet his eyes, "You are so adorable, James Buchanan Barnes."

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

-v.dl

[applepi-1]

They overhear someone say something bad about them to you

mha x haikyuu

Bakugou x y/n

Bokuto x y/n

Akaashi x y/n

--

You were standing by a door waiting for Bakugou, you decided to occupy yourself by playing a game on your phone. "Y/n?" You hummed as someone called your name, it didn't sound like anyone you knew, so you didn't lift your head. "Whatcha playing?"

"Piano tiles." You turned your phone off and looked at the stranger, seeing it was a guy from your class.

"Oh, what are you doing today?"

"Oh... uh, probably hang out in Bakugou's dorm, and draw." You shrug a shoulder and placed your phone in your -Bakugou's- jacket pocket.

"Why are you still with him, if you don't mind me asking..."

"I do mind, actually."

"I mean all he does is yell and call you dumbass."

"I'm sorry, are you with us 24/7?" The boy stayed silent, proving your point, "Exactly." He looked at you as you looked back at the door watching it open.

"Teddy bear!" You smiled as he yelled at you, which would confuse a lot of people. But not you.

"Hey, you ready?"

"YEAH!" He grabbed your hand and began to walk away, dragging you with him. Once you reached his house, you changed into one of his shirts and a pair of shorts you left. Bakugou walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Look beautiful in my shirt." You smiled as he nuzzled his head into your neck.

"Hm." You kissed his cheek before hugging him back.

"Why are you still with me...?" you sighed, and grabbed his face making him look at you.

"Is this about what that asshole said?"

"Maybe..." You're the only one who's seen Bakugou like this.

"Your eyes."

"Huh?"

"It was your eyes. When I first met you, I saw the pain and the hard work you went through to get here today. I saw the real you. Eyes tell the story of where ones been and where ones going. I saw someone who was dedicated to his dream, remembering why he's here in the first place. I saw someone who wanted to open up to someone, but was scared of being judged." Bakugou's heart melted at your words. "But I am the last person to judge you, Baku-babe. I love you, and I can care less if you call me a dumbass. Or yell. Because I know you still love me." Bakugou smiled at your and kissed you softly.

"I love you."

"The brightest eyes have cried the most tears, and I will never let you cry another tear, my love."

--

You sighed against your desk, letting your head rest against it. Today you felt drained, and tired. Bokuto knew that so he made it his goal to make you feel better. He stopped at your class door seeing your head on your desk, he sighed and was about to walk in till he heard some girls talk to you. "You okay, Y/n?"

"Hm? Yeah, just tired."

"Yeah, you've been going to your boyfriend's practice?"

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a practice match with Karasuno."

"Isn't that the team where Bakuto goes into Emo mode?" You furred your brows as they laughed.

"Yeah... I guess..."

"Does that ever get annoying?"

"No, why would it?"

"He's like a child. One minute he's smiling the next he's moping."

"And why does he smile so much? I mean he's also very-"

"Excuse me?" The girls shut up as you spoke. "Bakuto is no child, trust me. And Emo mode is not just one emotion, it's every emotion, it can be when he's happy, or sad, mad, anything. Even sexual." You smirked standing up throwing your bag over your shoulder, the girl's eyes grew. "He smiles because he knows he's not letting anyone down, and trust me, he doesn't. Even if he goes into Emo Mode, sad mode. It's because he thinks he's letting them down. But Akaashi is on the court, reminding him he's not. I'm in the stands reminding him, he's not. Now if you excuse me, I have a boyfriend to cheer on." You went to walk to the door stopping when you see black and white hair, sighing you walked over to him slipping your hand into his. He jumped looking down at you.

"Oh, hey baby owl." You smiled at the nickname before kissing his cheek.

"Don't let what they said to go to the heart. I love your smile. The prettiest smiles hide the most secrets. But I know all your secrets and I love your pretty smile no less."

--

You were walking into the gym when you felt arms wrap around you. You laughed at your touchy boyfriend, pulling away to see him. "Hey, Aka."

"Hey, baby. How was your day?" You shrugged your shoulders as kids from your school and his gathered into the gym, giving you both jealousy glares. You rolled your eyes at them before kissing your boyfriend quickly.

"It was okay, I was missing you all day though." Going to a different school meant distance.

"Oi, get your hands off our manager!" You looked at Noya and sighed.

"Noya, he's my boyfriend, he can touch me all he wants." To be honest, that came out wrong, Tsukishima and Tanaka smirked at you two as Asahi bent down to your level.

"Would you like a bible? Or some holy water?"

"Asahi, I hate to break it to you buddy, you're the only holy one here." He sighed at you patted his head.

"I want head pats." Bokuto looked at his friend then at you.

"He's always so soft when it comes to you, Y/n." You laughed running your fingers through his hair.

"Hm, I like it."

"Okay! You guys... Y/n, remove the boyfriend." You looked at Couch Ukai and laughed.

"Babes, you have to let me go." He sighed before kissing you softly.

"Fine, see you after?"

"Hm," You leaned your head down, lowering your voice so only he could hear. "I'll be secretly cheering you on." He smiled to himself before kissing you once more. You looked at the team who were giving you looks, you sighed placing your hands on your hips. "It was something holy and sweet, trust me Asahi." He looked at you closely.

"She's not lying, come on we need to stretch and stuff." You watched as they did that, sitting down beside Kiyoko. You snuck a glance at your boyfriend who was also stretching, you heard girls wolf whistle at your man as he bent over.

"Quit staring at your man's ass." You blushed and looked at Kiyoko.

"Can't help it. He has a nice ass." Akaashi looked at you as if he knew you were talking about him, you winked at him making him send one back.

He wishes he can hold you, but he knows he needs to win for that to happen. "Akaashi, your girls checking you out." That's when he looked at you and saw you staring, he winked back at you, smiling to himself. "You are so lucky."

"I know."

Once the match started you cheered on your team, but secretly cheered for your boyfriend.

"Akaashi can't stop looking at his girlfriend."

"Can you blame him, she's hot."

"Yeah, Akaashi is hot too, tho." You tried to block out the voices you heard focusing on the game, but you saw how your boyfriend's jaw clenched, can he hear them too? "How can she get a guy like him?"

"Right, he's clingy, the other day I saw Bokuto pry Akaashi off her. I mean dude, I don't blame ya, but damn." You rolled your eyes at the comment.

"More like, she has him hooked. Poor guy fell for someone so ugly." They were talking about you two in two different ways, the boys were talking about how hot you are and the girl was talking about how hot your boyfriend is. You looked at Akaashi, seeing him frown a little, so he can hear them. Your boyfriend really is a big softy, he's also very insecure. You love it when he clings on to you, and he does it because all his exes cheated on him because he'd either not give them attention, or because he gave too much attention. To you, he gave just enough, never too much. You can be studying, and he'd make you stand before setting you down on his lap so he can hold you while you study. Or sometimes he's just dragged you away from everyone so he can hold you. Moments like those made you happy knowing he just wanted to hold you out of nowhere. You love him for that. Once the game was over you made your way to your winner boyfriend and smiled.

"You played so well, baby." You kissed his head, but he wouldn't even wrap his arms around you, that was the confirmation you needed before you lifted his head kissing him. He grabbed your waist hesitantly and kissed you back. You could hear some cheering and some scoffing, but you didn't care. You pulled away and whispered against his lips, "You can never be too clingy to me, baby. I love you no matter what." He looked you in the eye, seeing how serious you were, making him sigh and wrap his arms around you, holding you tightly. "The kindest hearts, have felt the most pain. But baby, with me, your heart never has to fear being in pain again. I love your kind heart the way it is. Nobody or nothing can change my mind. You're stuck with me."

[charliedawn]

Imagine having ran away from the Elven kingdom while being betrothed to Thranduil and returning

" Where is lady Thranduil ?! I must speak with her this instant !"

You shout while making your way to the throne room where you were sure to find Thranduil.

" Oh no..She's back.."

Thranduil pales perceptibly and even shivers at the loud voice, knowing only one fool daring to address him this way.

" Who is it, sir ?!"

One of the counsellors asks while Thranduil closes his eyes and takes a big breath of air before responding with visible disdain.

" The most annoying arrogant little vermin to ever walk this earth.."

Suddenly, the door of the throne room is kicked open and you walk in with a big bright smile.

" Hello, your majesty ! Remember me ?! How is that scar of yours ?! Still healing ?!"

He sighs loudly before ordering the other people present to leave with a slight nod of his head. When everyone is gone, he turns towards you with a fake smile.

" Lady Y/N.. What an unpleasant surprise..!How could I ever forget you ? If I remember correctly, I swore to kill you myself if you ever dared to show your face again ?"

You ignore his barely hidden threat with a dismissive wave of your hand.

" Bah ! Still mad ?! Me who thought you elves were all about forgiveness ?! And, if I remember correctly, I told you that I wouldn't come back to your lovely spooky forest unless death was upon me !"

He nods and smirks before crossing his arms over his chest.

" Well..At least you don't have a problem of memory. You look well enough..How about you see yourself out ?"

You bite your lower lip hesitantly, when he walks past you in order to leave, before turning around and shouting.

" Thranduil ! I'm dying !"

He stops dead in his tracks and turns towards you slowly with a frown.

" What did you say ?"

You sigh before looking up at him with begging eyes.

" I'm..I'm dying, Thranduil..I have been cursed by a very powerful mage. I only have a short time left and I wanted to make amends before I leave..So, please, hear me out.."

He doesn't answer and you take that as an invitation to keep talking.

" I wanted to apologize. All those years ago, I wounded you. But, you have to understand why ?! We were betrothed, while you had just lost your wife..I knew that it was unfair of my family to force an alliance so soon. I wanted to get away, and I knew that they wouldn't let me leave unless I escaped. I didn't think that you would be the one trying to stop me..I didn't know because it was dark and I thought it was a soldier that would get me back if I didn't fight back ! I couldn't have known that it was you ! I wouldn't have fought you."

He sighs before asking you.

" How long ?"

You frown before replying, visibly annoyed.

" Did you hear a word of what I just said ?! Can't you just forgive me so I can finally have peace ?!"

He turns around and walks towards you at lightning speed before yelling.

" No ! I can't ! Now, tell me, how long ?!"

You are startled by his sudden outburst and quickly answer.

" 5 days ! I've got 5 days.."

He visibly clenches his jaw and asks surprisingly calmly.

" Where ? Where did he curse you ?"

When you don't answer, he grabs your wrist and you cry out in pain. He frowns before tearing your sleeve in half and looking at the rotten skin there. He softly touches it with the tip of his fingers and you whimper. He looks up at you with a worried glance before leading you to his throne. He gets out a big book that seems to be as old as the forest itself from underneath the throne and starts flicking through the pages in search for something that could help you.

" Who was that great mage of yours ?"

You hesitate before finally admitting.

" Saruman. I tried to steal something from him.."

Thranduil suddenly looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, urging you to continue with his eyes.

" I..This is why I am here, Thranduil.."

You get out some kind of little blue fial and he rises up from his throne to look at it more closely, tilting his head slightly to observe it with more attention.

" What is it ?"

He finally asks while continuing observing it with attention, tilting his head slightly to the other side. You sigh before admitting.

" A potion of resurrection. He had it in his tour and wanted to use it to resurrect someone..I don't know who. But, when I heard that he had this kind of potion, I sneaked inside his home and stole it. But, before I could get out of there safely, he woke up and cursed me.."

Thranduil growls in annoyance at the lack of results from his search inside the book and also, at your foolishness.

" You fool ! He could have killed you ! Why would you go do something so stupid and reckless ?!"

He asks, visibly upset, and you can only shrug with a sad smile.

" Maybe because I wanted to give you a chance to be happy again ?"

He frowns in incomprehension until you explain.

" It was for your wife. It was for Evranï."

His eyes widen in shock at her name and his eyes keep going back and forth from the small vial to your face, trying to see if you were telling the truth.

" Y/N..Why ? Why do this for me ? Why risk your life for someone that you don't even know..?"

You smile pitifully at him before replying with tears forming at the corner of your eyes.

" Because that's what you do when you're in love, right ? You do everything in your power to make them happy..You may have not known until today but, I fell in love with you, Thranduil..I fell in love with you the moment I first set eyes on you during my first visit to your castle. You may not share my feelings, but it doesn't mean I have to forget about them, right ?"

He was about to answer when you start coughing loudly and cover your mouth with your hand. You then notice the blood and Thranduil seems to notice too since he is standing next to you in a matter of seconds. You fall to your knees and Thranduil is there to catch you.

" Y/N ! You told me 5 days, Y/N ! What's going on ?!"

You smile sadly before confessing.

" I may have lied a little..Saruman told me that I had 5 days to return his vial..four days ago.."

You had never seen the king cry before, it was so hard to imagine his perfect face stained by such vain things as tears..and yet, here he was, crying his eyes out over you. You stroke his cheek lovingly before forcing yourself to smile reassuringly at him.

" Don't cry, my king..This is a happy moment. I finally got the chance to help you and you will soon be able to see your beloved wife again..So, smile for me, okay ?"

You feel the intense pain gaining your heart and tighten your grip on the king's arm unconsciously. He notices and puts his own hand on yours.

" You silly woman..I won't let you die. You still have so much to do, and much more to make amends for, before I can forgive you.."

He softly says and you shake your head, the words feeling like fire every time you utter them.

" Please..Forgive me, my king..I know that I've disappointed you greatly, but please, forgive me so I can leave this world in peace..You can see it as a final act of mercy for a repentent soul ? I give you my life for your wife's..A soul for a soul..I only ask for forgiveness in return.."

You implore him and he looks at the vial that you place in his hand. He then glances back at you with a sad smile, cradling your face and kissing your forehead lovingly.

" I can't forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive..You were afraid and needed someone to believe in you. I’ve let fear and sorrow blind me from my duties towards you. Letting you think that your life had any less value than the one of my deceased wife was my mistake. I should be the one begging for forgiveness, not you. This is why, I can't accept your gift.."

He approaches the vial to your lips and you open your eyes wide at his intent. You close your lips tightly, knowing that if you were to drink it, the queen would never be reborn. He grits his teeths before grabbing your face and pressing his fingers against your cheeks, trying to make you open your mouth, unsuccessfully.

“ I refuse to let you die, Y/N ! Now, drink, you stubborn woman !”

He shouts, but you shake your head and wiggle too much for him to be able to force you to drink the potion with the vial. He finally sighs in, what you thought was, defeat before looking up at the ceiling and whispering.

“ I’m sorry my beloved, but I can't let an innocent girl be the price of my selfishness.”

You frown in incomprehension until you see him drink the potion before pouring it down your throat. You try to push him away, but his lips are sealed to yours and he doesn’t step back until you’ve swallowed every last drop of the potion. Then, and only then, does he step back to look at your arm, making sure that the healing process had begun. He smiles satisfactorily at the skin taking back its original condition.

“ You see ? In a couple of days you’ll be on your feet again.”

He says, but you don't answer and she he looks back at you, he sees that you've blacked out. He smiles before kissing your forehead again.

" Sleep well, my little spitfire."

A couple of days later :

As soon as you are awake, you storm inside the throne room with only one person in mind : Thranduil. When he sees you arrive, he smiles, but unlike his previous thoughts on your reaction when you would eventually wake up, he finds you angry and with tears in your eyes. Before anyone could stop you, you walk towards the king with determination and slap him across the face so hard that the sound resonates around the throne room. His surprise turns into anger and he was about to yell at you for your behavior when he sees that you are crying.

" Why did you do that ?! You kingdom needs a queen !”

He suddenly understands what you are so upset about and before he could answer, you crumble at his feet. You grip the bottom part of his robe and starts sobbing, hiding your face in the piece of cloth. He sighs before forcing you to look at him, grabbing your chin between his thumb and forefinger to look deeply into your teary eyes.

“ You made a mistake.”

You suddenly stand up and yell, obviously offended.

“ Who said it was a mistake ?! I gave you what you always wanted !”

He frowns before standing up as well and glaring back at you.

“ I do say it is a mistake because you made a reckless decision that could have led you to your death ! Your life belongs to me! Don't you dare forget again ! You'll die when I see fit ! You really thought that coming in here and dying on my floor would make me happy ?!"

You open your eyes wide and hold back the tears that were threatening to come back. He regrets his sudden outburst nearly instantly and straightens up to add.

" But, as a queen, you are to learn from your mistakes and make good use of them.."

You grit your teeths before replying confidently.

" I am no queen ! I am a warrior ! I have spilt blood and done things..things that would only bring you down with me. Why want me as a queen ?”

He sighs before turning towards you with a sad smile.

" What makes a queen ? A queen learns to survive, and even if her hands are red with the blood of her enemies, her heart will always be pure, for it beats for her people. A queen can have moments of weaknesses, as any other creature on earth, but she learns from her mistakes. As I have learned from mine. Don't you think I already thought about running away ? Leaving my duties, my son and my kingdom behind ?"

You frown before asking.

" Then why didn't you ?"

His eyes turn grey for a moment and he looks at his thrown before answering truthfully.

" I admit that I was upset at first when my advisors urged me to find a new wife, casting aside the memory of my sweet Evranï. But, having no choice, I had to make a decision. I traveled to every land in order to find that being that would be able to take my love's place on the throne by my side..When I thought that all hope was lost and that I would never find such a person, I found you. I saw you near the weeping willow, as still as a statue and listening to the wind with your eyes closed. I found myself wondering what you were waiting for and sat on the ground until the sun disappeared behind the hills, only then did you move and, to my astonishment, you started dancing with a sword in your hand. Your gestures were so precise and calculated, as if you could slash the wind itself in two. Only a few days later did I finally get an explanation to your particularly odd behavior from one of the villagers, you were training to slay a monster that was killing villagers in your land that nobody had ever seen, but that those who had survived described as fast as the wind. I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous theory, but couldn't bring myself to and decided to wait to see if you would succeed, certain that nobody could slay such a beast. But then, one day, you came in the inn where I was staying with a large victorious smile, covered in blood and carrying the body of the beast on your back that had a wide range of pointy teeths and a very distinctive fur color, one that I had never seen before..Blue with yellow stripes. I remember feeling a sudden wave of pride and respect towards you. Such dedication, patience and strength are what I always thought made a queen. That day, I knew that you would be the only one I would ever accept to rule side by side with.."

You open your eyes wide at the revelation before remembering that there was no weeping willow near the castle and this is when you recall your childhood weeping willow, the one that you used to come to think and imagine what the world would be like outside of your little town. You look up at Thranduil with wide eyes full of admiration, realizing that he had always been one step ahead of you, already knowing you before you even set foot into his kingdom. Thranduil only chuckles at your startled expression.

“ You didn't think I would let some random stranger choose the woman I would be spending the rest of my life with, did you ? Who do you think invited you to the castle in the first place ? You may have chosen me, but I chose you first, my queen..”

He suddenly kneels on one knee in front of you and you blush vividly before hitting his shoulder.

" Get up ! You could have told me ! I thought that you didn't even know my name until I escaped !"

He chuckles again before getting up and leaning in so close that you could stare deep into his beautiful blue eyes. He then proceeds to whisper in the shell of your ear.

" Do not misunderstand. Try to escape again ? And I'll break your legs. Understood, my dear ?"

You shiver at his threat and nod vividly, gulping loudly at his sudden change of demeanor. He smirks at you, satisfied with your answer, before walking towards the exit with the same usual elegance that all elves seem to possess. It takes you a while to react and when you do, you turn around to yell.

" Hey ! Come back here, you tall drama queen wannabe ! I'm not finished with you yet !"

He only laughs before replying with a sing-song voice.

" Welcome home, my queen !"

You huff in annoyance, but can't help smiling at the end. King Thranduil wasn't an easy elf..But, you wouldn't have him any other way. He made you keep going and even if he was harsh in his lessons, you knew that the harsh truth was always better than sugar-coated lies. During your many travels, you had met many different people in many different lands, but none ever compared to the elf king who could be as cold as ice, but also as hot as the sun that shined high in the sky. He always was one step ahead from everyone and even if you were to rule by his side until the end of your life, you would surely never succeed in understanding him.

He suddenly stops in the corridor and turns towards you with a knowing smile.

" Well ? Aren't you coming ?"

You smile and nod before running towards him.

" Thranduil ?"

You would later ask.

" Yes, my queen ?"

He answers before looking down at you while you smile devilishly at him.

" Since I am to become queen, does that mean that I can call you lady Thranduil all I want now ?"

He sighs exasperatedly before rolling his eyes playfully.

" I would rather not, especially in front of my advisors or subjects..but when have you ever taken my opinion into account ?"

You laugh happily before closing your fingers on his hand.

" Who knows ? Maybe I was following your plans from the beginning ?"

He chuckles before smiling mysteriously at you.

" And how did you come to this fascinating conclusion ?"

You look back up at him before replying.

" I just remembered that I was wearing the fur of the beast the night that I escaped..As you said it yourself, of a very "distinctive color", one that nobody could have mistaken.."

He understands and grins at you.

" Looks like I've been exposed..Well played."

You smile widely before winking cheekily at him.

" A queen knows how to learn from her mistakes.."

[benka79]

Queer Subtext in "The Guest" (Korean Dorama)

Or... how I justed wanted to watch a Gen Supernatural show and ended up falling for it's Beautiful M/M love story.

I don't know if you watch korean doramas, I do. This time I was on Netflix with my husband looking for a supernatural show, after watching a couple of it, and we crashed into "The Guest".

This attempt of analysis of the queer Subtext will have some spoilers so, If you don't want to be spoiled, jus scroll down. But go watch this show. Hahahaha

Disclaimed that, let's go to the East Sea...

Pansexual Flag for CHOI YOON and gay flag for HWA PYOUNG.

First apparition of Father Choi YOON, walking down a dark alley. You will find by his right, against a closed business shutter, Pansexual Flag Colors. What a presentation card for a priest, and is so symbolically beautiful, because philosophically, the spiritual leader should have the ability to love every creature, no matter what. So it applies to the decision of the writers to make Yoon linked to that kind of love.

Then we have Pyung, the medium. This boy is very enthusiastic, but he has surrounding him his grandfather and his best friend asking him, almost continually, to find a girl and get married. The poor medium doesn't answer, and he looks annoyed each time they mention that.

In one opportunity his grandfather asks if there's something wrong with him, and the boy snorts slightly, avoids eye contact and says, frustrated "No, grandpa."

Jumping to another scene... Yoon and Hwa Pyung are in the car, and Pyung's best friend, the shaman, is alone in another car. While they're talking by the phone, we can see behind the shaman the pride flag colors. And now you will ask... Why? Well... There's this part of the dialogue between Pyung and the shaman, in which he asks why he has to be alone in the car and Yoon and Pyung are together in the other car... Ahem... Pyung hungs the phone without answering. And the scene cuts to the shaman, with the pride flag in the background. The shaman frowns confused.

Nothing to add here...

Heart broken

There's two opportunities in which Pyung shows how heartbroken he was... Because of Yoon and how the writers wrote it with romantic subtext.

The first time Pyung faced Park Han, the assamblywoman, Choi YOON got mad and tells the detective he won't work anymore with Hwa Pyung.

Scenes after this, we have a very sad Pyoung in the shaman house, and his friend notices his sadness and asks if he was dumped.

Pyung looks somewhere and he repeats: "Yeah, I was dumped..."

Who just had dumped our cute medium? Well... Our cute priest.

Another scene in which he is in a worst depressed shape, again, in his best friend's house, he mentioned, gloomy, that at least someone is bothering him... Why? What had just happened in this episode? Well, Choi YOON said to him he couldn't trust him.

The shaman, insightful as he was, says that he looks too sad those days. And when Choi YOON goes surprisingly to his house, the shaman asks the priest if Pyung's depression is because he is in love with the detective. Well, kind of. I can't be very specific with the dialogues because I watched it with spanish subtitles. But that was the idea they transmitted.

Always looking when the other is not looking. And the handsome priest...

And remember in the police station when Pyung called Yoon the handsome priest that gives advises to the congregation in front of the cop?

Gif credit @setsmaker

Another huge subtext is Yoon looking at Pyung when he's not looking and Pyung looking at Yoon when he's not looking. Always related to sad things of their last being revealed or called back. And why is this meaningful and it has to be taken as queer Subtext or romantic?

Kang Hil Young is their female detective friend. As a very insightful person, she notices the relationship between these two boys and in the scenes, she's always separated from them but also she's a kind of nexus. Because both boys talk with her, instead of talk with each other, as the stubborn and shy boys in love they're.

All the "stealing glances" scenes are centered between Pyung and Yoon. And less about Hil Young. This is written on propose to show Yoon and Pyung relationship is different to Pyung and Hil Young or Yoon and Hil Young relationships. Because the boys have this aura between them, this romantic tension always around them. That doesn't happen when they're with Him Young.

The precious one, the fight and the "Titanic like" scene.

Pyung will ask Hil Young to save Yoon instead of him. He is determined to give his life in exchange of the priest. He calls Yoon THE PRECIOUS LIFE THAT YOUR MOTHER SAVED, when he asks Hil Young to take care of Yoon. Why would a bro ask to his friend to take care of his bro? Why he didn't ask to this bro to take care of his friend instead? 🤔😜

Pyung always showing up at Yoon's place after a hard day? Why Yoon? Why not Hil Young's place too?

Also the scene of Pyung trying to hide a talisman but at the same time, sliding his hand with it inside of Yoon's pants and Yoon gay panic face yelling: 'What are you doing?' And Pyung insisting in puting that talisman inside Yoon's pants and then failing, frustrated because Yoon discovered it was a tasliman?

Gif set credit @achiara

Priceless... And gay.

The scene of the fight between Yoon and Pyung WAS HELLA DRAMATIC AND FULL OF ROMANTIC SUBTEXT!

First of all, we had that music playing while Yoon tried to force himself to believe Park Il do (the demon) was inside of Pyung, because if he wasn't... That's would mean the demon was possesing Father Yang, that was like a second father to our cute priest.

Second, both friends had UNSHED TEARS in their eyes.

Third: Pyung was too heartbroken to react.

Fourth, the Yoon ended up ON TOP OF HIM WITH HIS HAND ON HIS THROAT, that, my friends, was one of the most hot m/m scenes. They remained like that, not strangling, but just his hand holding his throat. Like... Yeah. Go get a room.

When they thought everything was finished. Pyung was staying in his town and called Hil Young asking her to bring his stuffs from his apartment. To which she replies 'why don't you ask Yoon?' And our shy medium replies "He's too busy."

So, Yoon and Pyung didn't call each other, but they both called Hil Young.

She asks Yoon to be nice with Pyung because PYUNG HAD ASKED HER TO TAKE CARE OF HIM INSTESD OF PYUNG. (Yeah, she confessed that to the priest)

And i suspect she told Yoon about Pyung asking her for his stuffs because the medium considered Yoon was TOO BUSY. Why? Because the scene in which Yoon shows up in Pyung's town to check the people that had been posseses, he calls Pyung.

Our cute medium goes immediately : BUY MEAT, I'M FEELING SICK, STAY TONIGHT TO SLEEP IN MY HOUSE, and what does reply the priest? I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. NOW I HAVE TO GO BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY. And he hangs the phone smirking!!!! Translation?

'I'm too busy because you said I'm too busy to bring your stuffs! I thought you didn't want to see me and now you are too happy to see me!!?? Watch me flirt with you and show you I'm not that easy.

And also, the poor girl is so tired to be the third wheel...

When they said goodbye in the road, Hil Young goes inside the car but Yoon and Pyung were there... Trying to sound cool, and 'You did well's 'Yeah, you top's, like two dorks, while the female friend watched them as if she was saying COME ON!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS? At the end Pyung confessed he was about to give his life in exchange of Yoon's life... And shy priest just goes inside the car.

But everything goes to hell when Park Il Do posseses Pyung and tries to strangle Yoon.

What did our cute medium yell to the demon? 'Don't touch him! Don't you dare to touch him!"

Gif credit @knights-in-whumperland

Okay... Those are not words you would say for a not boyfriend bro.

Then... Scene in the water...

They-fucking-held-hands!!!!

Gif set credit @r-a-n-x-i-e

The scene is so romantic I showed my friend (who didn't watch the show) a gif and she said WTF IS THAT? TITANIC?

Because, yeah, hella gay. They hel hands and then... Pyung reacts and before pushing Yoon's hand to release him to the surface, he rubbed his freaking fingers!!!!!

Not to mention he wss carrying with the rosary the priest left in his hand under the water for one entire year even when he wasn't catholic!!! HE DID IT BECAUSE YOON GAVE IT TO HIM!

To Conclude:

The subtext of a queer love story was magnificencia displayed, but it was more beautiful to see how inncoents, and shy and cute these two were with each other. So if you wanna see a cute m/m love story plus friendship loyalty and action, watch this dorama. I plenty recommend it!

PS: I'm calling this ship PYOON!

Buenos Aires, February 19 2020, 00:15 AM

[ourmiraclealigner]

Two’s Company

Joe Liebgott x Reader

gif not mine! credit to @basilone

request: @dark-gambit23

A/N: i’m so sorry this took so long... this request is literally from august. i hope you like it, and i’m sorry again this took so long!

synopsis: After months of teasing, Joe finally gets the courage to tell (Y/N) how he feels.

warnings: none

taglist: taglist: @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @mavysnavy @ivy-miranda-2390 @ya-yeeteth @rayofshanshine @primusk @punkgeekchic @inglourious-imagines @wexhappyxfew @vintagelavenderskies @easy-company-tradition @meteora-fc @teenmagazines @order-of-river-phoenix

—————————————

The night air was brisk, the light wind having a cold nip to it. It was dark, the full moon being the only source of light for miles. Joe and (Y/N) led a small group of German POWs down the dim, dirt road, Joe barking occasional demands at the men in German. 

(Y/N) was displeased when she heard she would be going with Joe. They didn't get along well and hadn't since their first days at Tocca. He was always saying things to her, trying to start arguments and get reactions from her. It was frustrating and tiring, and she wanted to avoid him as much as possible. Walking for miles with him and a group of German POWs wasn't how she wanted to spend her night. 

There were other reasons she avoided Joe, though. Even though he got under her skin, she couldn't help how she felt. He was beautiful, funny, and smart, and she struggled to be around him for too long without blushing. The other guys always teased the two, saying it was sooner or later before they ended up together. Joe would shake his head and brush it off, but deep down, he hoped that that really could be the case. 

The night had started to drag, and the prisoners were becoming more restless. They were tired and wouldn't stop yelling things back at Joe. She poked one of the German soldiers in the back with her gun, reminding him that they were still there so he would stop talking. 

"Tell him to stop.” (Y/N) told Joe, not wanting to risk saying the wrong thing as her German wasn't the best. She smiled when he barked something at them in German. 

"You should try to learn German for stuff like this." He suggested.

"When I find the time, I will." 

"You're not very intimidating, you know." Joe chuckled, his eyes flashing over to her in the dark. "Maybe learning it would help with that."

"I am, thank you very much." (Y/N) quickly fired back, earning another chuckle from him. "You must be the only one who doesn't see it."

"Aw, you're so cute." He said sarcastically, smiling at the reaction he was getting. 

He felt like a little boy teasing the girl he liked, but it was the only way he knew how to talk to her. 

"You're rude." She was quick to say, annoyed with how much he was undermining her. 

"You're oversensitive." He immediately fired back, turning his head to look at her a bit. "You shouldn't take everything so seriously." 

"And you shouldn't keep talking. I'm serious, Joe, shut your mouth and pay attention before they try to run." 

They delivered the prisoners to CP, walking back to the camp in silence. It was later now; a few yawns exchanged between the two of them. (Y/N) knew she wasn't going to get much sleep. 

"Are you mad at me?" He asked after a few minutes had passed. 

"Mmh." She mumbled back, not interested in striking up a conversation. She was surprised he had tried to talk to her but figured he was trying to start another fight, and she was too tired to deal with that. 

"Why? You know I was joking."

"Because I don't like it when you act like I can't do the same things you do. It doesn't matter what my gender is. I'm still capable. You're just an asshole." 

It was silent for a few seconds, her words hanging in the air. 

"I think you're competent, hell, more capable than most of the men here. I didn't mean to offend you, honestly. I like teasing you, but I won't about that stuff anymore. I don't want to upset you." He stopped, turning to look at her when she also stopped. "Can you find it in yourself to forgive me?" He asked, a slight smirk on his face as he stepped closer. 

"I suppose I can try.." 

He smiled, leaning closer, his breath hitting her lips. "Let me make it up to you." His eyes flickered to hers and then down at her lips. "Show you how much I like you."

She nodded again, his lips quickly pressing against hers, his hand finding its way to his cheek.

[lizzie-wendigo]

Well, this takes a long time as a WIP, but after the Abyss redesign, I decided to change the pose of Abyss. Well, I decided to do the story of how they met.  By the way, if you pay attention to the book Abyss reads, it's a pun on the name of the author of the book: "Mary Shelley" ------------------------------------

After a long day, Spade was preparing to rest in his favorite place, an old weeping willow tree near the park. This willow tree was special, it was quiet, the breeze blew warmly and it was near a lake that led to the sea, and the best thing is that it was isolated, without being disturbed by anyone. This day would be different, because when he arrived he found a strange girl sitting in his place reading a book, at first spade got upset and thought about leaving, but he really wanted to rest for a while, and the girl didn't seem to be noisy or annoying, so decided to try to talk to her... "Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?" Spade said approaching. "This is my special place." "I have no problem, go ahead..." Abyss said without taking her eyes off the book. They were silent for several minutes, each lost in thought, yet Spade couldn't help noticing the book Abyss was reading. "Good book, a classic" Spade said.

"Excuse me?" Abyss said. "The book, Frankenstein, is a classic"  "Oh right, it is..." Abyss said without looking away from the reading. "I have read it 4 times, this is the fifth" "Your favorite book?" Spade asked "Something like that" Abyss commented "I feel identified with this book, reading it brings me comfort" "Well, you don't look very comfortable" "why do you mention it?" "You're reading a book alone under a tree away from others... Maybe you are sad" Abyss became annoyed and stopped reading, throwing an annoyed look and a little growl, which made Spade jump. Abyss immediately calmed down, again changing his expression to a sad one. "I haven't had a good day" Abyss said with a sigh. "Of course uhh... it was just a guess" Spade said a little uncomfortable and sitting up again in his place "We all have a bad day"

"I just decided to escape from everything for a moment and get distracted with a book" Abyss said as he took back the book that he dropped a few moments ago. "Dr. Frankenstein's monster. A creature made from putrid parts of the random dead buried in a graveyard, confused and trapped living in a world that wants to kill you just for being different. He will never be able to rest in peace because of a mad scientist who only wanted to play God and create life. He did him like this, unable to find friendship or love, making him suffer because he treats him like a beast... Victor Frankenstein is the real monster..." There was silence and spade looked at her indifferent and at the same time moved by what Abyss had said... "Sorry, I'm crazy, don't listen to me" Abyss said, looking away "It shows that you want to talk about it" Spade said very chivalrous "Yes, but nobody cares, I have no one to talk to" "I can make you at least choke on what frustrates you" Abyss looked at him a little doubtful, but she really needed it and she couldn't refuse, so she sighed deeply... "Today I had a fight with my cousin..." Abyss said sad with downcast eyes "Your cousin?" Spade asked "I have no siblings, and to me, he is like my older brother: Gum, him and my second cousin: Sheriff. We always played together, and neither of us could make friends, 'cause we are mixed race, that's why we had each other. Time passed and Sheriff got a girlfriend, and spent a lot of time with her, we were happy for him, at least he has someone else. But... the problem started a month ago... Gum started making friends... they were friends his age, and almost the same as him. They were also mixed race and male, they soon became friends with Gum, and little by little he was moving further away from me.  I have been practicing to show the native dance show in the park, I'm part of the dancers. I wanted to invite him to see him more often, but when I went to see him, I was with his friends... and he was negotiating to meet me. He said he didn't know who I was" Said Abyss holding back the tears in her eyes, while Spade listened to her with attention" I argued and fought with him, and now I only borrow books the library to read away from people. I'm alone." There was silence, while Spade thought about it... "If your cousins could get friends, why do you think you couldn't?" Spade asked somewhat indifferently "Look at me! people don't even want to get close to me. They thinks that if they look at me I'll turn them to stone for pleasure, that I'll devour everything they give me like a wild dog, or that I'm too stupid to understand a damn simpler game than tying their damn shoelaces. Not even those from the native show want me in the group, they accepted me just because I have a mermaid descent and I dance very well... anyway... I plan to quit the group... "You shouldn't do it. If you like, just do it without caring that others judge you" Spade said looking into her eyes. "You shouldn't let what people think of you affect you either, believe me, I recognize a damn beast when I see it. I live with hateful creatures, and of all of them, I think you are the most civilized person I know. "you think so?" Abyss said as her eyes lit up

"Of course. Besides, I don't mind your company. I don't usually live with many people, or with people who are too happy, they're not to my liking. But I wouldn't mind living with you" "...?" "WAIT! NOT IN THAT WAY!" Spade yelled blushing "I mean! just for company!" And that silence was broken by the laugh of Abyss, who seemed more animated now, showing her true personality and smiling at her new friend, As Spade gazed at her sharp-toothed smile and lake-lit eyes, it seemed beautiful to him... "You know, there're other books that I have read, and I would like to talk about them one day. Maybe some of them you like" Abyss said with a smile "What..? Oh, sure! the books... Uhh..." Spade answered a little nervous while he blushed" Sure... It would be good, to meet again soon. "Then I'll see you soon" Abyss got up and extended her hand to Spade as a sign of farewell, and he took it shaking it... "By the way, we haven't formally introduced ourselves. "Sapde said "I'm Spade Dice you can call me Spade" "I am Abyss Maria Mug. Call me Abyss. I have to go... I have a show where to dance. And if... if you want to go... you can attend, it's public. See you soon spade!" Abyss ran away, while Spade watched her from afar sitting under the willow tree ... "Abyss... What a peculiar name. Very... elegant" He thought. "I wasn't at all interested in being her friend when I saw her, but... I think I wouldn't mind spending more time with her..." Spade watched her go as she blushed slightly, letting out a light sigh... ----------------------------------------------

My writing is HORRIBLE! I know... but at least I tried. Well, as you saw, this happened 2 years ago, so Abyss was 11, Sheriff 13 and Gum 14. All teenagers do that at some point in their lives. (Besides that I was watching Onward and the younger brother inspired me, I hate him) But Gum was sorry, he really felt very bad for having denied his cousin, and obviously he learned the lesson, since currently he doesn't deny it at all and he loves her as she is, that is a sign of maturity, don't you think? By the way, Spade developed an almost immediate crush for Abyss. Cute :3

[pinkopalina]

you dont have to add more to this i just have more silly ideas and would like to send them to you <3 cos you mentioning your brain being fried gave me more ideas hahahhaa IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG

Robotnik being Very Very Overworked and just. Having been working for way too long with way too little sleep and also way too little sustenance besides coffee probably. Even with with the crazy way he works, he does have a limit. And that limit is now. He's so tired he cannot think, and his hands are shaking, and like everything is a blur-

When Stone comes to try and tell his doctor to rest, Robotnik snaps at him, more viciously than he usually does. Something really really bothers him, really really gets under his skin. It's the whole robot thing, actually. He cannot even BEAR to look at Stone right now cos he's so dang salty about this stupid guy being a stupid robot meaning he has no stupid bodily human limits and can keep going and-

Well it turns out he's so tired he didn't realise it came out as a verbal angry rant right into Stone's face- Cos Stone is like :o :| :/ >:/

Like USUALLY this is something Stone would take with no problem, he gets yelled at all the time and he doesn't really mind, but this is different. This is his doctor not taking care of himself and that's not okay. In this case he has to grab the doctors hands and literally be like. "Doctor."

Does he remember what happens when he does not let his Badniks have their scheduled charging time? Does he remember how his systems behave when he postpones their daily system restart? Does he remember how even Stone's memory stutters and falters when he has not had a proper charge and reboot cycle in too many days, RAM stuttering and chugging with unsorted data and full of noisy junk, batteries struggling to keep up with a constant supply of barely enough power from the charging points around the lab. Even the doctors perfect creations need rest.

Doctor. Your body requires system maintenance. Take a break. Please.

I FINALLY ANSWERED THIS! this is so amazing GOD I love it. here here you go been thinking abt this.

hehe.

god omgf can i just say? what a lucky little fandom nut and bolt i am to get such good FOOD IN MY MESSAGES??? THIS IS SO FUCKING DELICIOUS IM LIVING FOR EVERY OUNCE OF IT THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS STUFF!!!

god this makes me realize just how much i miss roleplaying too!! i just realized. i looooove building ideas hehehe

+ you know, i actually misread this at first and imagined *stone* being the one who was overworked and his brain was fried. almost literally. and it turns into him having a bad day. and not working at his optimal level, and robotnik snapping at him out of some kind of blend of jealousy and resentment. and stone just sighing and his eyebrows getting all furrowed and mad at both the doctor and himself, annoyed that he's annoyed, annoyed that he can't think straight. and then robotnik realizes that STONE is the one who *he* hasnt maintained as well as he should have. his most precious creation and he hasn't even bothered to make sure he was caring for himself. because stone had been too busy caring about the doctor to bother. stone hasn't had an update or a recharge in a WEEK and he hasn't been restarted for his monthly update in TWO months. so far behind. so desperately running on outdated software.

i imagine robotnik just sighing out a lone curse word under his breath. sweeping stone up before lightly pressing two fingers to wherever it is the manual override button on stone lies--and stone's conscious being is still awake for every second of manual override, btw, he just can't willfully move his body anymore. stone can't speak, can't blink, can't even breathe for the moments robotnik invades his brain. so that robotnik can tune him up. reset him just perfectly. adjust his parameters, since he's been left so carelessly unmaintained. the doctor is in complete control, his natural element.

(and i'm corny. stone is in his natural element too--which is love.)

(🤮💕)

[hazard-queen]

When he can't sleep (Leona, idia, azul, malleus)

Leona kingscholer

• "No way! Ruggie, you must be kidding me, right?" You said to ruggie in disbelief as your eyes widened

• "I really hope that i was kidding but nah" said ruggie rising his shoulders and his swaying his hands

• "If he continued like this no one will remain alive in savanaclaw!" Said jack rushing his hand on his hair

• What happened? I will tell you! Something abnormal happened and can be the end of the world if it continues like this! Leona didn't sleep in two days!!!! The guy who falls asleep before his head reaches the pillow, and this of course this left him in a bad mood! Picking fights with almost everyone and everything and even with the flys that lands on his face!

• "You have to do something about this (y/n)! " Said ruggie helpless

• "How much will you pay? why me tho?" You said worried

• "Ummmmm cause we are afraid to go speak to him he will kill us cause you are the most one close to him!" Said ruggie with worried smile

• "Yes! He won't get mad at you i mean get annoyed if you tried to talk to him!" Said jack worried

• "We count on you!" Said both ruggie and jack leaving you dumbfounded not even giving you a chance to reject! Oh well (y/n) the future of the humanity in your hands now!

• You stood there in front of the door not knowing if you have to knock or to just get in no one dies before their time so you just decided to knock the door and let what happen happens!

• "GET LOST!" you heard a loud growl from behind the door that makes scare runs in your spines

• "L leona....it's me....(y/n)!" You said worried ready to leave at any second, but what you didn't notice that both jack and ruggie and even some more students of savanaclaw were watching over you even worried more than you!

• The door opened and there stood leona all tired and you could see how bad he wants to sleep, "um...are you ok?" You asked

• "And why wouldn't i?" Said leona crossing his arm on his chest

• He reached his hand to his head to massage it, "tch...this headache" said leona annoyed

• "Maybe that's because the lack of sleep! Not sleeping well for two days of course will cause you headache!" You said innocently

• "Who told you i didn't sleep well in two days?" Said leona rising an eyebrow

• "Your eyes said that! It looks tired! Btw! I have a medicine for headache! Do you want to have it?" You asked with a smile

• "No! I like to have headache that makes me feel my head's exploding from time to time......GIVE IT TO ME!" said leona with a yellow smile oh my he's really moody!

• Leona took the medicine and finally the headache is gone! You felt happy for him! But suddenly he pulled your arm, "l leona ! What's wrong?" And as you were wondering what could it be leona restd his head in your embrace and placed your hand on his head, "you know what to do, right?" You nodded as you started brushing his hair with your hands then after some time you felt his breathe calm, you could even hear some faint snores, leona has finally fall asleep! Thank you (y/n)! The world is a safe place now because of you!

Idia shroud

• It can't be he's online in the game all of this could it be? Since 3 am till the next day it's almost midnight! Could it be that the server broke down or something?

• You play the same game with idia and you won't deny he told you that he's waiting for this event like months ago since they announced it on another servers....did he even eat? Sleep? Go to class?

• You heard knocks on the door, opening it you saw ortho standing there worried

• "(Y/n) please help me!....ni-san!" If he could cry there would be waterfalls from his eyes

• "WHAT? did he get kidnapped again by ghosts?" This all could get in your mind right now cause nothing is dangerous can happen to someone who never gets out from his room

• "No! He's playing this game since yasterday! He didn't sleep or eat he looks all tired but he never leave his place! I'm worried about him!" Said ortho sadly

• You accepted to go help him as first! you could never refuse a request from ortho cause he's cute, second! You were also worried about idia, third and most importantly you don't want ortho to blow up your drom if you refuse!

• You didn't have time to knock cause ortho dashed into the room! " see?" Said ortho pointing his hand to his brother who didn't even move his eyes from the monitor

• He looked all tired and sleepy and even more pale!

• "IDIA!" You yelled at idia which made him jump from his place, " (y y/n)! When did you get here?"

• "Idia did you eat anything? Did you sleep?" You asked worried

• "7"

• "7 hours?" You tiled your head

• "7 minutes!" Said idia as he looked back to the monitor leaving you as if a shock hits you

• You didn't speak! You snatched the gaming console from his hand, idia gasped from the quick action

• "Nooo~ please give that back to me i need to complete this event!" Said idia reaching his hand to take it back but alas, you were dead serious

• "Eat something first!" You said crossing your arms to your chest and ortho did the same as you

• "No! Tch...look....why don't you feed me while i play?" Said idia with a plea

• "Fine!" You gave him the console as you brought some food and juice with you , you shoved the food into his mouth and placing the juice by his lips as he took some sips then went back to play! Hardly he could open his eyes! He's used to stay awakr for late times but not for two days! His eyes were closing but he kept on shaking his head it's 2 am now!

• "Idia! Why don't you take a rest and let me continue the event for you, you know, i also play this game" you said to idia and he didn't think much, he handed you the console and sat by you watching you play

• "You know, you're not bad!" Said idia weakly

• "Hehe i know!" You said with a grin, you felt a weight on your shoulder, you looked to your side to see idia's head leaned to you, he has finally fallen asleep, he looked so peaceful when he's like that

• "Isn't he cute?"

Azul ashengrotto

• "Ugh we are swimming in work recently shrimp-chan!" Exhausted floyed sopke helplessly

• "I don't know when this all gonna end i really miss the feeling when i could sleep!" Said jade rising his arms and waving his hands also helplessly

• "Are you really that busy tho? Oh! How's azul doing?" You asked since you didn't see him any soon

• "Well he also isn't sleeping well or taking any rest i guess we've been really busy recently " said jade thinking

• "Can i go see him!" You asked with a plea and of course the twin couldn't say no since they know that azul missed you and all but didn't had any time to go out

• You poped up your head from the door happily, "azul I'm here!" You saw him, he was a mess, not even looking at you and flipping papers here and there talking to himself

• "When did you sleep last time?" You stood in front of his desk, he's doesn't even know you're here yet...i guess

• "Yasterday noon it was for an hour or so" said azul busy thinking about his work then he suddenly rised his face to meet yours, his eyes widened and also yours! His face was pale and his eyes were tired just like idia even more, his face was opened in "O" shape

• "(Y/n)! When did you get here? I didn't see you coming in!" Said azul fixing himself and paper on the table

• "Can i probably help you?" You asked looking at all those papers on the table as you reached your hand to hold one of the contracts

• "No! That's not concern you! The twins are doing it all!" Azul yelled at you snatching the paper from your hand which made you jump in your place

• It of course made you sad but you didn't say it, azul won't forgive himself if he knew you that it hurt you

• You went to the kitchen to make him some coffee! (My favourite) it's really good in regaining himself and focus

• Silently you placed the cup by him on the desk, he looked at it then looked at you in appreciation, he knew what he said isn't proper so he frowned

• " I'm sorry (y/n) i really didn't mean it but i have so many pressure on me, i didn't sleep in days and even if i put my head on the pillow i don't sleep, I'm really tired" said azul looking down sadly

• "Don't be! I understand everything, i just can't see you all this tired and can't do anything for you!" You said with worried expression

• Azul sigh giving up, " can you just stay here to watch the work while i rest on the sofa for a bit?" Said azul with a weak smile and you of course gave him a wide ones

• He layd himself in the sofa closing his eyes then everything went silent, you took some close steps to him seeing his breathe was steady and you could even hear him snoring lightly, you took off his glasses placing it on the table by him and covered him with a jacket

• You placed a small kiss on his forehead and he began sleeptalking, he muttered "i love you" but you managed to hear him, You giggled

• "I love you too"

Malleus draconia

• Your dorm was under maintenance and you had nowhere to go! Of course dorm leaders offered you a stay in their dorms for a while but they didn't do anything when malleus came along grabbing your wrist dragging you to diasomania silently

• "Did you plan to stay anywhere else?" Asked malleus still dragging you not even making an eye contact with you

• "I i just thought you were busy so i didn't want to be a burden on you!" You said with a pout

• "A burden? (Y/n)! You should have came to diasomania the second you left the dorm, not waiting for others to offer you a stay!" Said malleus as he stopped and gave you a serious look

• And from this look you could tell how tired he was, you wanted to ask him when the last time did he sleep but you just didn't want to bother him

• Going to diasomania thay prepared you a separated room where you could stay and sleep, they even brought you dinner to your room! But of course the change of the place made it harder for you to sleep so you decided to go for a walk

• You saw malleus' room is still has light, shouldn't he be asleep now? Should you go ask about him? You finally decided to knock the door and see what's wrong with him

• "(Y/N)! What are you doing here in this late hour? Do you need something?" Said malleus surprised by your visit

• "Nothing! I saw the lights on so i was wondering if you can't sleep, are you alright?" You asked with a worried smile

• "Oh is that so? Oh Don't bother yourself, i don't want to be a burden on you!" Said malleus rising an eyebrow crossing an arm to his chest and swaying the other in the air

• You recognise that he's paying back the word to you

• "It doesn't feel good hearing it from your beloved ones is it?" Asked malleus with a smile holding his chin but he spoke again " sigh, i just can't sleep well recently"

• "What can i do for you? Do you want a glass of milk? Mint tea? coffee? anything?" You asked him but you know this won't help till an idea came to your mind

• You sat there patting on your lap offering malleus to put his head there with a wide smile, he chuckled on your childish action but he did as you wanted, he rested his head on your lap aware to not stap you with his horns and closed his eyes

• You run your hand on his head which made him half open his eyes then closing it again, you started humming your favourite song and playing with his hair till you noticed his chest is moving slowly and his breathe was steady, you didn't bother asking him, you knew he was already asleep

• Malleus felt safe in your existence by him,his only beloved ones

[13eyond13]

I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.

Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).

Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.

I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.

Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.

I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.

I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!

[trashcatsnark]

Oh, let me continue the subject of the jealousy of these two. You're saying that Johnny isn't the type to hold back when it comes to emotions. And it really is. But... there is a moment in the game when V talks about his exes or about stupid compliments in a conversation with River. And Johnny doesn't say anything. I would write it off as a scenario move, so as not to shift the focus from the River. But this isn't the only time Johnny ignores events in this quest line. See the second question

Part 2 for context:  So... I continue. Do you remember the moment when you watched brain damage and lost consciousness, when you and River were searching for clues about the mayor's murder? Johnny never ignored the moments when V passed out. Here River comes to the rescue, and you would think that he knows that there is someone to help and nothing to worry about ...But in similar situations with Judy and Panam, he would appear and deliver his moralizing remarks or make snide comments. 🤔

Personally, I do believe this is sort of a meta issue. I’ve talked about it a little bit before in a general post; how given his characterization, Johnny does not in my opinion talk as much as he should. In a more comedic example, I mentioned how could anyone honestly look me in the eye and say that Johnny wouldn’t have a comment on the guy with the exploding penis implant????  Like Johnny is majorly characterized as a guy who can’t leave well enough alone and always has something to say; yet theres a fairly large percentage of gigs and missions and moments where you’d think Johnny would have something to say and he doesn’t. There’s also times where lines are blatantly reused and in a jarring way.

Like, I could be wrong, but I think they reuse him saying “There it is” with both V getting Nibbles and a man committing suicide in a gig. Like????? 

Meta wise, I do think it’s partially a fear of over incorporating Johnny to the point players found him annoying. Because even now, some people find him irritating and wish he’d talk less. So, that could be a factor. The idea of not sidelining love interests is a factor of course. While, he has commentary through out each love interests questlines. He always does mostly bugger off during the romantic lead up and the actual kiss then sex. Because well, it might be a bit of a buzzkill and if you’re trying to get laid and Methed Out Future Keanu Reeves is yelling at you from the corner of the room. I mean, it’d probably enhance my experience but some people aren’t into that. 

As for why stuff like, him ignoring V getting zapped by the braindance in River’s quest. I’ve always thought that was ooc. Like, short of potentially the bd having fried him up for a bit, kinda like the emp blast does when V and Panam take down the AV. But overall, over and over again, Johnny is shown to be the first one there when V gets hurt. Even if its to yell at them for going into the toxic water or he waits a beat to appear once Panam is done looking over V. 

And that could be because they potentially again wanted to give more attention to River or... and I always hate to get into this sort of discourse, cause I know it aggravates some people. It was an oversight, something not caught, something not thought of, just because to be fair...River has the least polished questline of the love interests. The male love interests in general imo were sidelined more. But, River A) has the least amount of quests to build up to his romance, B) is the most easily missable love interest since he’s not even required to meet for the secret ending the way Kerry is. and C) this could just be my own personal experience, maybe cyberpunk 2077 provides unique bugs for everyone, but his quests are the buggiest for me.

And to be perfectly clear, this is not me being a dick to River. Do, I think some aspects of his character are kinda tone deaf, sure, but I like River. I think he’s a sweetheart, who’s usually pretty stiff, but has his cuter jokey moments and is a puppy dog underneath.  I love doing his quests because they’re truly very emotional, being able to help his family. Like, being able to save Randy is one of the best feelings in the game to me, knowing you saved him and so many other young boys. That’s why it honestly breaks my heart to see how little polish and attention his quests were given. From the calls glitching, him not staying on comms in the first quest, Johnny in my game doesn’t even give the dialogue warning my V about River wanting to sleep with her, like it just does not show up for me, The cobbled together family photo. The weird pacing of the romance that goes from 0 to a 100. Randy’s face glitches and clips through the mask when you’re saving him. Like the concept, the investigation, the intense stakes, and the emotional impact of his quest are all so good; but CDPR just did not in my opinion take enough time with it. 

So, maybe they didn’t bother to script and put Johnny in that scene despite it being something he’d most definitely pop in for; cause they just didn’t take their time with it like they could have/should have. 

And in regard to Johnny in universe and talking; while like I said he’s more upfront and direct with his anger and side comments that he uses to hide his real feelings. I do think, especially if its post oils field convo, a part of him tries desperately to bite his tongue and just sit with his feelings if he think its best for V. In the more love dovey romance moment with River, I could see him being like, “okay, V wants this, as much as it pisses me off, V deserves to have some good in their life” and tries to hold back and be good and then five seconds later “CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME FUCK A COP” cause he can only behave for so long. 

And I do wanna note; I am by no means consider myself a Johnny Silverhand expert. I’ve said this before, his characterization and just him as a person can be very messy, very all over the place, and contradictory at times. He can try to kill V and then the next day pop up to chat with them in a diner and be like “why aren’t you happy to see me?????? you still mad?????? its been a whole ass 5 hrs since I told you to kill yourself and bashed your head into a window, gotta learn to let shit go dude.” So, sometimes I worry I’m making him ooc, but its fun nontheless, so. 

[danganronpa-killing-justice]

The Homeroom of a Society

————

When I had made my way into the homeroom, my skin could feel all of the air being sucked out. Was my appearance that intimidating? I had never thought of myself in that light...

"Hey! Look who it is! It's this year's Lucky Student!"

As soon as that was said, my new classmates started to hover and surround me. Each of them spewing their own different questions, slowly suffocating me.

"Is you luck contagious?" "I thought you'd be taller."

"Are you Makoto's secret love child or something..." "what's with all the fur...? can i touch—.."

"CLASS!"

The voice of an older woman cut through the harsh questioning. She roughly pushed her way into the clump of students to help get me out of my unfortunate situation. I'll have to thank her more later.

"I know you're all excited to get your questions out, but give the kid his space! He looks like he is on the brink of exploding." The woman commanded out. Although her tone would probably seem harsh to others, I can tell that she said it with care...mostly.

"But Miss-"

Before the student could finish their words, the woman put her hand over their mouth to silence them.

"But nothing! Come on now! Let's get to our seats so we can officially start our day!" She seemed excited and annoyed at the same time. I didn't know that emotion combination was possible.

She started to shoo use back to our seats, literally. The woman moved her arms around almost as if she was sweeping us with a broom. She even made the shooing sound. This is our teacher right? She isn't just some woman who just barged in here and made herself comfy...right?

When she was done getting everyone settled down, she moved herself to the front of the room. "Hello everyone! My name is Nomondai Nototsū! But you can call me Mrs. Nomondai. I am your homeroom teacher for all of your time here unless there are untimely circumstances."

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a student nervously raise their hand. They were wearing an assortment of anime merchandise and had their hood on over their face, almost covering it. "W-What kind of c-circumstances." They had studdered out.

The teacher just stared at back them, unblinking. "Untimely."

"O-Oh.." The student looked at their desk in a blank fear.

The teacher looked unfazed as she clapped her hands together in amusement. "Before I say anything else, does anybody have any more questions?"

A different student then last time raised their hand. Their appearance was more toned down then the first student, which was not saying a lot. The student was wearing a school uniform with a jacket on top. Out of all the people here, they were probably the most under dressed. "I'm sorry if this sounds insulting! But what's your connection to the headmaster? All the teachers here have connections to him, so I was wondering what was yours."

Mrs. Nomondai's face had contorted into a sad expression, but she still had a small smile on her face. "While I am not comfortable with taking to you all now about it, I can assure you that I will talk about it eventually. After all, it is still only the first day of school. If you really want to know now though, just search me up. It's all public info." She seemed more relaxed when she was finished talking.

In return, the student looked more relieved that their question wasn't too emotionally triggering.

Once again, she clapped her heads, almost as in to ground herself. "Now then! If nobody has any more questions then we—"

"HELLO EVERYBODY!"

Stopping Mrs. Nomondai from speaking any further, a blue plush creature came from behind the podium to make its appearance. It's looked like a dragon version of a Monokuma. Wait... A MONOKUMA!?

One by one the entirety of the 1-A class started to collectively loose their marbles. It was like a bomb of anger and confusion hit the classroom.

"AHHHH KILL IT!! KILL WITH FIRE!" The student beside me said as they were currently climbing on top of their desk, shouting profanities while doing so. I wasn't to far behind copying them myself.

"DON'T WORRY I GOT THIS!" Another student started to grab for their lighter in their pocket. Wait, why do they have a lighter already?

"CLASS! CLASS! SEATTLE DOWN THIS INSTANT!" 

The teacher's voice once again rang through the classroom, but not everybody listened to her.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ‘SEATTLE DOWN’!? THERE'S A MONOKUMA RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" A student yelled back, clearly neglecting the teacher's words.

Mrs. Nomondai's just sighed as she slapped her forehead, the sound echoing off of the walls. Everyone including myself took this as a sign to calm down. I tried to get off my desk with ease, but I just fell down instead. Luckily, nobody noticed because they all held their attention to the shivering creature beside our teacher.

With care, she picked up the dragon-like Monokuma and held them in her arms. "First of all, this is NOT a Monokuma. This is a Helpami, and his name is Sumami. They are the helpers around this school, so I demand you all to treat them with care."

The creature—no, the Helpami squirmed helplessly in her grasp. I think it felt bad for giving everybody a scare.

"I'm sorry Noto. I thought it was my time to appear..." The Helpami whined out.

"It's ok Suma. I thought you kids were told about the Helpami's, but clearly by your actions you weren't." The teacher huffed out, clearly annoyed at one of her staff mates.

Now that I think back to it, the only thing that was told about school's electronic help was about a system called Alter Ego, which was basically the school's more advanced version of another electronic helper.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Nomondai, we were only told about Alter Ego.." I remarked.

Once again, she had put on a disappointed expression. Because of my words, she leaned down to tell the Helpami something. The only words I could make out was 'Yasuhiro' and 'dumbass', which doesn't sound good for the long haired man.

"How come they are modeled after a Monokuma though..? Wouldn't that just scare everybody?" Another students said.

Our homeroom teacher looked like she has asked herself that question to herself or others many times. "They aren't modeled after a Monokuma, they are modeled after Usami actually, who is also somewhere around this school. The one who thought of this idea was actually Kazuichi, the school's Mechanic... under our noses.."

She looked almost mad for a second but then she just squeezed Sumami more for comfort. "Even though it scared the sh-CRAP out of us, I can't say that it wasn't a nice surprise. Like I said, they are the helpers of this school, and they are also given to all of the staff members to make the teaching job just a bit easier."

Everyone in the room seemed to feel a bit lighter at this revolution. They did at least look cute.

"So, um, there i-isn't like any actual real Monokumas on the s-school grounds, i-is there?" The kid who wore the hoodie asked.

She looked at the kid straight in the eyes. ".... no.."

The classroom tensed up once again. Ignoring this, the teacher again clasped her hands together in pure joy.

"Alrighty! Back to what I was saying before! If nobody has any more questions, then I think it is time that we get to know each other! Go around around the room and knock yourselves out! You can even ask me or Sumami more questions if you want! Just have fun, and be respectful!"

And with that, she gave out the peace sign and walked over to her podium, Sumami still in her arms. She's a bit weird, but I can tell she has good intentions... I think.

Well, I better start going over to people. This is going to be one heck of a year, isn't it?