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insanelyadd · 1 year

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If the song fits it fits, regardless of possible embarrassment. Anyway, lets hear what songs you put together, and what your reasons are!

Oh ho ho, you just gave me a chance to talk about music, hee hee hoo hoo.

Okay so I'll start with the playlist I made for the Collector, as a heads up note about all of these playlists, I am far from done, so while they're all short right now, I will be getting around to adding more.

Through Glass by Stone Sour -

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass Don't know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me (...) How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything We thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (Null and void instead of voices) Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene Remember it's just different from what you've seen (...) And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah

I cannot stress enough that these are the actual lyrics and I did not move them around or anything, all I did was remove the repeating verses/choruses. This song came out in 2006. An absolute shoe-in to be used in AMVs for this little guy except it's a rock song from 2006 and not an indie-pop song from the last five years and it's also not popular.

I was doing my usual thing like a week or two ago where I go through a bunch of songs I heard on the radio when I was in elementary school and as I was relistening to this song I felt like I had lost my mind. I remember relating to this song a lot when I was little kid because the song is about being lonely, and I think the Collector would relate to it too. More kids should listen to rock music from the 2000s because I am deluded* and think a lot of it is good. Music critics tremble before me when they try to say nu metal is bad and I just say "Nah".

(*Yes I do have psychosis and have delusions for realsies, I can use this word)

After this it's all under the cut because this post will end up being long because I fucking love talking about lyrics and the fun little picture shows my brain makes when I hear a song that fits a character. if you don't feel like reading the Archivists playlist discussion be happy knowing I summed all of them up in one picture:

No Lullaby by Siames -

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

The most relevant lyrics in the song are the chorus because the verses on this song are super abstract, like more than their other songs that I've heard. Final lines of the song are the above lines but instead of "so alone" it says "Who says you're on your own?" which feels like how their arc concludes in the show.

All the Best by Siames -

Let's play pretend now Don't be afraid, no Stop being worried this could be the way We are what we made up Ready for a new start Follow your dreams no other way will be that great And I'll keep searching for all the best Picture yourself in a rocket and believe you can be anything you want The meaning of our actions feeds the power of attraction, let it flow Just let it flow It's right under our noses Going through our minds With passion and devotion (with passion and devotion) Your light can be our sun

I feel the lyrics here are pretty self-explanatory. Since the band is Argentinian I'm going to forgive any wonkyness in the lyrics.

Steal My Sunshine by LEN -

Genuinely the lyrics for this song are very abstract but apparently it was written when the brother and sister of the group were having a fight. Though I think the lines "And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, So I missed a million miles of fun" are pretty good. Also it sort of just sounds like a song he would like.

Island In The Sun by Wheezer -

On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad anymore

Escapism, sun motif, easy pick for the Collector. Plus the song itself has this sort of fun, laid back up-beatness to it.

Kids by MGMT -

You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it Making momma so proud But your voice is too loud We like to watch you laughing You pick the insects off plants No time to think of consequences Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanting To be haunted (...) The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made and not bought But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not

I made a whole AMV for the Collector and King set to this song, it's a perfect fit, if I were to post all the relevant lyrics I would probably end up posting the whole song. Actually fuck it I'll post them anyways for everyone who's never heard this song.

Fine by Lemon Demon - (the sped up version)

Light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time It's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine And never give it back, even if there's a heat wave We're stalling on the track, it will just be a close shave I know (I know) That in a snap, all the birds will sing I know (I know) I'm full of crap, but still Everything works out nice in the end The sun will marry the moon It'll be fine Why don't we sit back, mellow again And have a nice afternoon? It'll be fine

I feel like this is a fun song for them. Once again sun and moon imagery in the song, outwardly cheerful and bouncy in that way, but menacing at the same time.

GRRRLS by Aviva - (specifically the version that's a Collector animatic)

I can't explain it better than the video explains itself, so here's a link

Best of You by Foo Fighters -

I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holding you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

I think it fits thematically with the Collector breaking free from the cycle of abuse he was subjected to.

When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down -

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone Everything I am and everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be I'll never let you down even if I could I'd give up everything if only for your good So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone But when your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends Been roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

Most annoying thing on the face of the earth when you're making playlists for child characters or siblings with terrible relationships is probably that every goddamn song you find where the lyrics are vague enough to be interpreted as a familial relationship and not romantic was probably still originally written to be romantic *strangles amatonormativity with my bare fucking hands for an hour straight*

So anyways in this context the song is about the Collector trying to reconcile their feelings about their family being shitty with their want to connect and love people and be comforted by the familiar.

Now for the playlists for the Archivists. I encourage you to look at the scroll bar on your screen. I will not judge you for looking at it and deciding you've read enough, especially since my Archivists (anyone's Archivists really) are totally made up and are basically OCs inhabiting a hole left by canon. I still have fun with them tho.

Penumbra first because she has the shortest playlist (Sorry Penny it's hard to find songs about being stressed by raising your younger siblings and being emotionally and mentally drained by stress)

Help! by The Beatles -

So much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) but now these days are gone (these days are gone) I'm not so self assured (And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind And opened up the doors (...) In oh so many ways (My independ-) my independence seems to vanish in the haze (But) but every now and then (now and then) I feel so insecure

Once again on closer inspection of the lyrics I think this is AGAIN about romance. I choose to ignore it. I Do Not See It. I'm taking the implications out back and shooting them. Mainly I chose this song because it was kind of funny for everyone's playlists to be songs from the last 30 years mostly and Penny is out here like "I relate to this Beatles song which is a literal cry for help" someone save this woman (nonbinary).

Stressed Out by twenty one pilots -

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one

*putting on a very serious face* She's stressed, she yearns for the nostalgia of when she wasn't responsible for so many things. The part about making money means nothing because I don't think Collectors participate in any economy because it's implied they don't need to eat and they could probably just magic up whatever they want/need.

Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine -

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive And I never wanted anything from you Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

She wants to stop being so stressed out all the time but I think if she suddenly stopped experiencing it she would probably explode. Girl needs a therapist so badly. And a vacation. I like this song because when I looked up the meaning it was like "Bad days will end and things will get better one day" and the lyrics describe the incoming happiness as graphically fatal and terrifying in its approach like being hit by a fucking train in the first two lines of the song.

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice -

No need to analyze the lyrics here, I think she would just genuinely like this song and dance to it, though I think part of it is that there's a little bit of desperation in the way it's sung, like "please dance you have to dance or you will die" which is probably how she would feel if she was given time to relax like "oh wow this has never happened before, am I supposed to be afraid?"

Next I'll do Crescent because why not. "Birth" order, sure. Also Crescent's songs should be fairly easy to explain

The Pretender by Foo Fighters -

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in again They need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? (...) What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? I'm the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face Mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down Bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend

I mean. She's a liar, a pretender, she's keeping a secret (having their parent taken away) from her siblings. He's an evil bastard. This explanation will be the standard response to most songs in this playlist but maybe from different angles.

Dangerous by Big Data ft Joywave -

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark Keep on running I've gotta get out of here (Keep on running) Sink down, into the dark You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

A little bit uncharacteristically paranoid for Crescent tbh, but the song is fucking awesome and even though the most fitting part of the song is only one line "I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous" it is sung in this sort of taunting way that really has enough threatening intent to be perfect for him.

Miss Murder by AFI -

With just a look, they shook And heavens bowed before him Simply a look can break your heart The stars that pierce the sky He left them all behind We're left to wonder why He left us all behind

After reading the lyrics I have a suspicion they aren't what 10 year old me interpreted them to be about. That's alright. I can imagine the verses are about all the times Crescent has made cults to worship her (I have a HC that Collectors primarily do this as a means of acquiring samples from all the planets they visit because it's easier to convince the most advanced life on the planet that you are a god who demands tribute and getting them to mobilize for you VS going around finding all the animals and plants and whatever else yourself).

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters -

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Did I tell you guys??? Did I mention??? Crescent likes to kill people???? Most interesting part of this choice is how the truth will fool him, which is true. If she believes something that isn't true about you and makes the wrong assumptions based on that it's better for you in the long run, though continued exposure to her increases the chances that he'll eventually realize he made the wrong guess and then he'll get Very Mad about it.

Breezeblocks by alt-J -

No lyrical analysis because yeah they don't really fit but I like the song for the vibe, mainly the ending, though that sort of repetitive mania isn't really in line with how I characterize Crescent. I personally love it, this song triggers my mania sometimes and it's great.

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace -

Another one where it's less about how I write the character and more about what I think she'd like to listen or dance to. I think she would enjoy the frantic energy of the song.

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring -

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet (...) With a thousand lies and a good disguise Hit 'em right between the eyes Hit 'em right between the eyes When you walk away, nothing more to say See the lightning in your eyes See 'em running for their lives Slowly out of line, and drifting closer in your sight So play it out, I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

I feel like the picture here is clear, liar, manipulative, doesn't show her true face so she's always in disguise (metaphorically), the implication of murder/fighting. *slaps the hood of this song* This baby can fit so many of Crescent's worst qualities in it.

I Get It by CheVelle -

So you say you're ignored, as it is Well, give us your sad, sad trip You're right, I get it It all makes sense, you're the perfect person So bright, so wrong Let's all live in your imaginary life Assumed it's whether We're right, or wrong We're doomed and there's plenty for all How dare you catch me counting? How dare you call at all? How dare you call this suffering? How dare you call at all?

Crescent's inner monologue if either of the Twins voice their concerns about anything. Someone needs to hit him with a car.

Annihilation by A Perfect Circle -

It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice, Peace or annihilation

This song I think is originally about the American military industrial complex and nuclear war. So anyways for my dumb little OC's playlist this is basically the choice they give the people of the planets they visit if they start to get hostile. "Hey, I know things are tense but have you considered that I will boil your oceans and burn your world to ash if you don't choose to be nice?" Obviously it's also another instance of the song only really having one or two lines that strongly fit the vibe but you see the vision?

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies -

Define your meaning of war To me, it's what we do when we're bored I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop And it makes me want it more Because I'm hyped up, out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know (...) This is hardly worth fighting for But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor It'll be a long time comin' Bet you got the message now 'Cause I was never goin' Yeah, you're the one that's going down

Oh hey one thing I haven't said about Crescent yet is she sometimes beats the shit out of her siblings (mainly Solari who instigates it on purpose even though she knows she'll lose because it's worth it to them to get under his skin). Well when I say "beats the shit out of them" I mean it more like Crescent can get a single good solid hit in and it knocks Solari down and the fight is over. Solari has never actually been mad enough to push their luck into a full-on brawl with Crescent. If Solari actually, for real, wants to fight him then she duels him with magic instead because it's an even match-up.

Next up I'll do Solari

She also has You're Going Down, but intended from the opposite perspective, while Crescent is the singer, Solari is the listener.

The Red by CheVelle -

The red Well, it filters through So lay down The threat is real When his sight Goes red again Seeing red again Seeing red again

You might be wondering, is this another song from Solari's perspective about Crescent? No. Solari gets so mad she basically loses all control of herself, hence the destruction of property she does. If they ever got actually mad enough to actually fight Crescent for real with their hands, she would be a very dirty fighter. She sees Crescent on her missions visiting the worlds of mortals. She's watched him fight for thousands of years. Crescent has never seen Solari fight with their hands. She might not be as physically strong as he is but she would be able to have the advantage of Crescent not knowing what to expect. Plus if Satellite is there and something has made their twin THAT mad then they would join in too.

Headstrong by Trapt -

Conclusions manifest Your first impressions got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through every night Well, now that's over I see your fantasy You wanna make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over I see your motives inside Decisions to hide Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on any one I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong

Solari's mind when they're about to start shit with Crescent again. Unrelated I saw the band was marked red on my screen earlier and I was like "???" for a half second before remembering the lead singer is a dipshit loser who whines on twitter and facebook because I guess he has nothing better to do. May the miserable cretin never chart again.

Oh No! by Marina -

I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

We've come to the portion of the playlist where Solari is consumed by guilt and regret. It's actually not separated like that, I'm just saying these lines speak to how she wants to change who she is as a person because she realizes she doesn't like who she currently is. Not that Penumbra or Crescent would know she's trying to get better, because Solari doesn't respect either of them and does not put in effort into improving herself for them, she's doing it for her little brother, the Collector. Even if she never gets to see them again.

Bother by Stone Sour -

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

I did mention they are being eaten alive by guilt and regrets right? This is for when Solari is having a bad time in her head.

Riot by Three Days Grace -

If you feel so empty So used up, so let down If you feel so angry So ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot A riot Let's start a riot

Solari is ready and back to being angry. They totally would incite a riot if they felt like they had a good enough reason to start one.

Fine Again by Seether -

And I am aware now Of how everything's gonna be fine One day, too late, I'm in Hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day, too late, just as well I feel a dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through

Just kidding it's Solari Emo Hours again. The only line in the song that doesn't really apply are the lines about staying sober because I HC that there isn't really any chemical that has any effect on Collectors like that. Anyways this is Solari being like "Wow the two older siblings were able to just go back to pretending everything is fine after getting rid of our baby sibling what the fuck."

These next three songs Solari shares with Satellite so I'll talk about why I chose them for both.

Send the Pain Below by CheVelle -

I liked having hurt So send the pain below Where I need it You used to beg me to take care of things And smile at the thought of me failing But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below Much like suffocating Much like suffocating (...) You used to run me away all while laughing Then cry about the fact 'til I returned But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below

This is a bit messy but whenever the lines say "You did this" that's a perspective shift for the line from the twins' perspective to The Collector. Basically another song about the twins regretting being shitheads to their baby brother.

Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park -

Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start again I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confused I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm going to assume some of this song is about some type of addiction. I'm disregarding that. Anyways the part about behavioral issues and not knowing why you act the way you do does align with the twins, and I mentioned it previously with Solari, about her trying to get better for the Collector, if he ever returns, but the same applies to Satellite. Though Satellite is at least attempting to practice this with Penumbra and Crescent. It's kind of difficult because they're so afraid of both of them, and Crescent avoids talking to them whenever he's actually around.

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men -

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) And though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

Yeah it's basically the full song. Once again the lyrics were vague and I had to dig around to find out it was written with romance in mind but I am sending my fucking mind beams out and blowing that up. Anyways tell me this couldn't be about Satellite and Solari's guilt for how they treated their little sibling and the last verse here where they "watched you disappear" is about when the Collector was imprisoned, and the torn apart bit is how they feel about their family. I might not identify as asexual anymore (further testing necessary I'll get back to you all on this if it turns out to be true) but I am still going to be fucking grabbing songwriters in my mouth and violently shaking them. Please can you just write complex interesting relationships into songs without being "OH YEAH IT'S ROMANCE" man there's other types of love. Please. I am on my fucking hands and knees.

*double checks playlist* Oh shit Fine Again by Seether is also on Satellite's playlist. Same explanation applies. Don't feel like moving shit around and adding accommodations in the existing text, I've been working on this for four hours because I have severe ADHD and I am dogshit at prioritizing anything.

If you get this far comment on the post about my brave stance that if a candle smells good enough I would eat it. It hasn't happened yet but my toasted coconut s'more candle tempts me every fucking time I smell it.

Anyways now it's Just Satellite

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty -

Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be, me

Fun fact I actually listen to this song when I feel like I might be about to have a bout of existential terror or some other flavor of mental breakdown and singing along to it calms me down. Obviously, Satellite would be able to relate about feeling gripped by a nebulous madness that Changes You when it hits. I actually have an idea for what I might have unintentionally gave them. Like. This is buried deep enough no one will hit it.

Anyways like a few days after I wrote my fucking long ass post about the Archivists and Collector's relationships and related HC and shit I began wondering. "Am I Autistic??" Asked a friend who is autistic and has ADHD at the same time (like what I would have if the answer to this wonder is yes) and she gave me some things to read about it and I was like "oh my fucking god this is literally all me." and then, because I'm some type of menace freak and I reread my posts that I like frequently, I reread my post about the Archivists and shit and I was like "Ah fuck are they all autistic??? I knew I couldn't write neurotypical people because I have literally never been one but seriously??????"

Point is: I might be autistic. Mentioning it here and now because it seems like getting an actual diagnosis is going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass and won't happen for months. And I might have made the Archivists all autistic or probably other slivers of my various other mental illnesses because I am physically incapable writing a neurotypical person. Circling around to what started this tangent: Satellite absolutely has autistic meltdowns. I don't know if ADHD people get meltdowns like how I imagine Satellite gets them, but they are modeled after My Own experiences with having meltdowns. So anyways back to music analysis in relation to my dumbass little OCs.

Bound For The Floor by Local H -

Born to be down I've learned all my lessons before now Born to be down I think you'll get used to it And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic (...) Born to be down I think that I've said this before now Born to be down What good is confidence?

I've actually always related this song to mental illness, ever since I was a kid, I always associated the song with the struggles of growing up neurodivergent and how it beats you down and you learn to accept it and live with it.

Words As Weapons by Seether -

All I really want is something beautiful to say Keep me locked up in your broken mind I keep searchin', never been able to find a Light behind your dead eyes Not anything at all You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful Keep me guessin', keep me terrified Take everything from my world (...) Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed Why try swimming? I'm drowning in fables You're not that saint that you externalize You're not anything at all It's oh-so playful when you demonize To spit out the hateful, you're willing and able Words are weapons I'd be terrified You're nothing in my world

Now a song for how Satellite feels about Crescent. Once again, about a person who lies and projects a self that isn't true to who they really are, and the singer is terrified of them, which fits because that's how Satellite feels about their older brother. Crescent is physically strong and gifted with weapons but her best weapon is her charisma and charm and how she uses it to manipulate people.

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd -

There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I sit in the corner And no one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me?) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking?) I feel like I'm drowning (what are you feeling?) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me?) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me) I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking?) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling?) I feel like I'm drowning (You never talk to me) you know I can't breathe now (What are you thinking?) We're going nowhere (What are you feeling?) We're going nowhere (Why won't you talk to me?) (You never talk to me) (What are you thinking?) (Where do we go from here?)

Now I saved this one for last even though it was literally the first song I ever started associating with Satellite because I think it really fits them. I think this is what it's like from their perspective when they have a meltdown. I don't really know how else to describe it so I guess I'll break this down line by line because sunk cost fallacy at this point why not.

"There's a silence surrounding me" in my own experience with meltdowns, which is what Satellite's are based off of, I find that all the blood rushes to my ears and I sort of lose the ability to recognize sound?

"I can't seem to think straight" probably self-explanatory but in my experience I stop having coherent thought and kind of only think in impulses.

"I sit in the corner, and no one can bother me," though this wasn't always the case (like when you're a child experiencing this you don't really understand what is even happening, and you develop this later in like when it's more like "ah this shit again") you will typically try to remove yourself from the situation that is causing you the distress that makes you have a meltdown in the first place.

"I think I should speak now, I can't seem to speak now, My words won't come out right" this could either be interpreted as a meltdown where you just shut down and stop talking or a meltdown where you fucking scream, I tended to have ones where I would just scream, but that might be because when I get the other way I end up crying silently instead so I might have filed those moments away as just normal "I am sad" moments?

"I feel like I'm drowning" meltdowns can be overwhelming, and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to stop my feet and flail my arms and sort of contort myself because?? I don't know. It feels like I'm trying to escape my own body honestly. Drowning in myself.

"I'm feeling weak now, but I can't show my weakness" this shit is fucking humiliating to have happen in public and around other people man, it sucks ass.

So anyways that is my ridiculously long ass post about music and my little bastards (and baby, the Collector is only baby) that I spent FIVE HOURS writing. I am going to go wash my hands because Bad Texture, drink some water, and then get floor time which is time where I lie face down on my floor and pretend to be a dead body.

#toh the collector #the collector #toh the archivists #the archivists #I am not going to fucking tag all these bands do you want me to be here for six hours???#musical discussion #if you want to skip to the end I did a great analysis of Keep Talking by Pink Floyd #and how you could interpret it as a song about having a meltdown #answears #long post under the cut #I am not fucking kidding if you open this post Prepare Yourself #toh spoilers

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becrystalamazed · 3 months

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🎵We come together, state of the art, we’ll never surrender, the kids in the dark 🎶

Video ID under Read More

ID: A fanvid of the 2022 Disney gameshow The Quest, set to the song The Kids in the Dark by All Time Low. It consists of clips of the show's eight teenage contestants - known as Paladins - completing challenges, as well as clips of the characters and monsters they face.

'The kids in the dark, the kids in the dark': The clip used for the initial Paladin introductions. A pan-shot to David facing the royals, Serean aiming and drawing back a bowstring, Toshani surprised in Dravus' study, Holden in the Paladin's courtyard, Caden peering around a corner, Ava turning to face the Serpent, Myra in the Paladin's courtyard and Shaan firing a crossbow.

'The kids in the dark, the kids in the dark' - David, then Myra emerges from a portal onto a bridge separately. Serean looks curiously at her surroundings. Toshani also appears through the portal. Shaan looks around him in confusion

'Here we are at the end of a road, a road that's quietly caving in (caving in)': The Paladins, all together, stare in wonder as they walk towards a castle.

'Come to far to pretend that we don't, we don't miss': The Paladins enter the throne room, where King Silas, the Heirs and Dravus are sat. They kneel.

'where we started': The sorceress Tavora throws a ball of magic, which consumes King Magnus.

'Looking back, I see a setting sun, and watch my shadow fade into the floor': King Silas leads the Heirs, the Paladins, Dravus and Mila out of the castle as night falls, carrying lanterns to light their way.

'I am left, standing on the edge': Mila crashes into a palace wall but keeps running as a guard chases her.

'wondering how we got this far, how we got this far': Mila receives the Oracle's Orb from the Fates. She turns to face the Paladins with an expression of awe and disbelief.

'They left us alone, the kids in the dark': Serean runs through a dark courtyard. Myra jumps off a ladder and starts running. Ava turns around.

'To burn out forever or light up a spark': The Paladins run around a corner. David, Ava and Serean run through the marketplace, holding glowing Whispits.

'We come together, state of the art': David, Holden and Myra place their hands on golden handprints on a treasure chest. It unlocks and the Paladins gather around as they open it.

'We'll never surrender': Ava, in a cage, works on untying a knot as the Serpent looms threateningly over her shoulder.

'The kids in the dark, so let the world sing': Myra pulls on a rope to retrieve a glowing vial from the Lake of Lights.

'What a shame': Ava reaches toward one of the magic books in Dravus' study.

'(hey!)': The Paladins jump as the mage Dravus finds them snooping in his study.

'What a shame (hey!)': Prince Emmett ushers the Paladins away from a cauldron that erupts with foaming potion.

'Beautiful scars on critical veins': Mila removes her armour to reveal a bruised battle wound on her lower arm. The Paladins peer at it, concerned.

'Come together, state of the art, we'll never surrender, the kids in the dark': The Paladins jump and duck over the many sweeping arms of the Troll Maiden's heart machine.

'the kids in the dark. (The kids in the dark, the kids in the dark)': The Paladins practise sword drills against each other, moving back and forward. The clanging of their blades occasionally matches the music.

'Here we are at the top of the hill': Mila stares down the Dragior, a humanoid monster with antlers, covered in runes.

'A hill that's quietly crumbling (crumbling)' A sweeping shot of the Paladins holding cages containing rocks above their heads. Holden's arms give way, causing a jug to drop and shatter.

'Been a while since you dressed for the kill, the kill that sent me': David uses a hook to remove the Gem of Courage from the eye of the Witch. David removes the Gem of Strength from the hand of the Dragior. Ava removes the Gem of Wisdom from the forehead of the Serpent. Serean removes the Gem of Resilience from the chest of the Troll Maiden.

'tumbling': David is knocked over by one of the arms of the Troll Maiden's machine. Serean hits a glass jug with a morning star, sending it flying at Holden and Shaan, where it shatters at their feet. They flinch.

'Looking up': A pan-shot up to Prince Emmett and Mila looking out from the battlements of a tower.

'I see a falling star': Mila and Prince Emmett look up at the night sky, glowing with the magic of the Celestial Dome. They make eye contact, smiling.

'And watch its fire burn into the floor': Princess Adaline and Prince Emmett burst into Dravus' study, only to watch him escape through a magic mirror that clatters to the floor.

'And I am left, standing on the edge, wondering why we fall so hard': The Paladins use mirrored shields to direct a glowing green light through the battlements at night.

'Why we fall so hard': A glowing Whispit moves squid-like through the air towards Tavora.

'They left us alone, the kids in the dark': The Paladins run into a wooden labyrinth, the camera following Ava as she dodges through the twists and turns.

'to burn out forever': Serean, then David and Holden, run through the woods.

'or light up a spark': Serean uses a fire crystal to ignite the Torch.

'We come together, state of the art': Myra, Toshani and Holden give food to a beggar outside the palace gates.

'We'll never surrender': Princess Adaline consoles Myra and Toshani.

'The kids in the dark, so let the world sing': David cranks a handle to wind up a crossbow.

'What a shame (hey!)': Ava swings a morning star, smoothly knocking a jug from it's pedestal.

'What a shame (hey!)': David fires the crossbow. The quarrel hits the bullseye.

'Beautiful scars on critical veins': The armour of an injured messenger is removed to reveal the words NAGOTH NOCTUME scrawled in black paint on his inner arm.

'Come together, state of the art, we'll never surrender': Mila and Prince Cederic regroup, back to back in the middle of a battle, before attacking again.

'The kids in the dark, the kids in the dark': Ava holds the Sceptre as it glows. David removes the Sword from a stone. Serean lifts up the Torch.

'Woahhhhh': Toshani, David and Holden use a rope to move a boat across the water.

'Woahhhhh (the kids in the dark, the kids in the dark)': Toshani places a stone on top of a tower. David tries to count the stones as his tower topples.

'Woahhhhh': Holden climbs up the side of a tower, silhouetted against the sky.

'Woahhhhh': Holden uses a fire crystal to extinguish a wall of flame and takes a step forward.

'They left us alone, the kids in the dark, to burn out forever': Tavora steps into a courtyard, the Paladins surrounding her. They have their hands hidden behind their backs and the camera cuts to their faces as they stare her down.

'Or light up a spark, we come together state of the art, we'll never surrender, the kids in the dark, so let the world sing': Holden uses the magic of the Divine Crown to fight Tavora as the other Paladins encourage him. He forces her back and she is engulfed in flames.

'What a shame (hey!)': Holden, Ava and David use shields to push back some soldiers of the Dark Legion.

'What a shame (hey!)': Serean shoots an arrow into a potion bottle, shattering it.

'Beautiful scars on critical veins': Holden uses an axe to cut down Tavora's banner. It flutters to the floor.

'Come together, state of the art': The Paladins and Mila gather in a huddle. They put their hands in the middle and cheer.

'We'll never surrender, the kids in the dark, the kids in the dark': Prince Emmett, Prince Cederic and Princess Adaline hug each other.

'The kids in the dark, the kids in the dark': Prince Emmett, Prince Cederic and Princess Adaline place the Divine Crowns on their heads, before turning to face the Paladins. They kneel.

'We'll never surrender, the kids in the dark, the kids in the dark': The Paladins return home through the portal together. It closes behind them.

End ID

#Aka the entirety of Kids in the Dark by All Time Low set to clips from The Quest #I think this is my magnum opus #the quest 2022 #the quest disney+#everealm #Twil’s weird video editing #gameshows #mila my beloved <3

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vexic929 · 8 months

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@practically-an-x-man Merry (late late late late late) Christmas! I hope I did Jasper justice :)

Warnings: gratuitous references to 80s children's media, description of broken bones and burns, nothing particularly graphic, also Jessie swears like a sailor

Jessie belongs to me but is based on DC characters

"Fuck..." Jessie muttered, her voice modulated even through the shattered Red Hood mask.

Rain beat down hard on her body as she laid in the dark, trying to catch her breath. She'd managed to kill the bastards gunning her down but not before they'd blown up the engine on her bike causing her to crash in a spectacular fiery show. She could feel her legs were burnt beneath her pants and her left leg was sitting at an odd, unnatural angle. She needed to get up before any emergency services showed. The last thing she wanted was to be taken in by the cops and have to explain her way out of another murder.

"God dammit." She hissed as she pushed herself up to a sitting position.

She gritted her teeth against the pain and grabbed her right leg, heaving it up so her foot was flat on the ground. She did the same with her left, biting back a scream as she jarred her broken leg.

"Fucking amateurs." She spat, looking down at her ruined bike.

It was a write off for sure. She looked up as headlights cut through the darkness.

"Shit." She muttered, pushing herself to her feet.

She staggered forward but her left leg refused to support her weight at all and simply crumpled beneath her like wet tissue paper. She fell hard, hitting her head on the pavement, and repeated the expletive with a resigned sigh. The car passed without so much as slowing and she silently thanked Gotham for being the sort of shithole city where a bike on fire and bleeding vigilante didn't warrant a second glance to most people anymore. And then she heard footsteps running towards her. Damn.

Jessie freed a knife from her hip holster, ready for an attack, but relaxed slightly moments later when a petite, neon-haired person bent next to her to help.

"The fuck are you doing?" Jessie asked, more mystified than anything else.

"I saw you fall pretty hard, are you okay?" The stranger asked in a breathless, concerned tone with the slightest Southern accent.

Jessie furrowed her brow, studying them critically. They didn't appear to have any weapons, their body language was tense but not in a threatening way, and - were those scrubs under their rain jacket? Ah, so they weren't completely crazy - just at risk, knowing Gotham.

"Fucking peachy. I'll be fine, kid." Jessie replied gruffly, pushing herself up to a sitting position.

The other person reached for her arm to help support her and Jessie recoiled as if struck. They pulled back and lifted their hands as a sign of peace immediately.

"It looks like your leg is broken. If you let me, I can help you-"

"The fuck you can, Rainbow Brite." Jessie interrupted, pushing herself to her feet unsteadily. "I said I'm fine. Go home to whatever wholesome shit inspires you to play 'good Samaritan' in Gotham of all places."

This time she made it three steps before her leg tried to give out on her again. God, this night was going to be a long one. She leaned against the nearest lamp post and glared at the stranger who was still standing there, watching her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Jessie snapped. "I said get lost."

The stranger held up their hands in surrender again.

"Listen, I'm not trying to be a hero or anything but I can't just leave someone injured on the side of the road. Can you at least let me call for help?"

"Call who? Don't you know who the fuck I am?" Jessie asked in disbelief.

The stranger just shrugged, "should I?"

Jessie stared at them for a long moment before bursting into laughter. "You know what? Sure. Fine, kid. You wanna help so bad you can help me, just don't call anybody. No cops, no hospitals." She added the last part with a glare.

The stranger hesitated before agreeing with a small nod of their head. "Okay, deal. Can I at least help you to someplace dry first?"

Jessie shrugged and held out her arm for support. The kid surprised her by actually being able to support most of her weight as she hobbled along, cursing under her breath.

"So what possessed you to become a nurse in Gotham City?" Jessie asked casually, trying to keep her mind off the searing pain shooting up her legs with every step.

"Oh, I'm just helping out, I'm not staying." They said, shifting their grip on Jessie's arm around their shoulders. "I'm from New Orleans."

"That's a long-ass way to come just to help out." Jessie commented, rethinking her earlier assessment of the person's sanity. Maybe Rainbow Brite had a few screws loose after all.

They shrugged. "I like to help. I'm Jasper, by the way."

"Didn't ask. Don't fucking care." Jessie replied, gritting her teeth against another wave of pain.

Jasper just rolled their eyes and continued leading Jessie to a nearby abandoned building. Once inside, they helped Jessie sit down in a relatively clean area and started rummaging through their bag for something they could use to clean the injuries so they could see how bad it actually was. Before they'd found anything, Jessie had pulled out a handful of medical supplies from her utility belt.

"Just set it, I'll take care of the rest on my own." Jessie said, pouring a bottle full of water over her leg to clean away some of the blood and grit. She grit her teeth and focused on the task at hand, ignoring the concerned looks Jasper was giving her.

"Those burns look at least second degree-" Jasper started.

"I've had worse. You gonna help or not?" Jessie cut them off. The adrenaline was starting to fade now that she was no longer in immediate danger and her head was starting to throb along with the pain in her leg.

Jasper sighed but complied, tugging on a pair of latex gloves from their bag before turning their attention to Jessie's leg. The break wasn't too bad looking up close, maybe a couple of clean fractures through the femur but mostly it seemed in-tact. Or at least, there was minimal bone sticking through the skin.

"This is gonna hurt." Jasper warned, placing one hand on either side of the break. "On three. One, two-"

Jessie let out a string of expletives and squeezed their arm so hard she was certain she left bruises as Jasper set the leg back in place with a sickening crack.

"Fuck." Jessie gasped, her breath coming in short pants now. Her vision swam for a moment before focusing on Jasper's concerned face as they smeared some ointment on the burns before wrapping them up in gauze. "Told you to leave it to me." She muttered.

"You're welcome." Jasper replied dryly, standing up and peeling the gloves off. "You sure you don't want me to call for help?"

Jessie shook her head. "I'll be fine. Now get out of here, Rainbow Brite. Take your Star Sprinkles out of Gotham. They won't do shit around here."

Jasper snorted as they packed their things away and slung their bag over one shoulder. "Maybe not, but at least I tried."

#practically-an-x-man #pax ocs #jasper wilson #vexic writes #vexic lives #vexic ocs #jessie todd

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stargirl-evie · 2 years

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“Are you staying or leaving”Keefe x reader

um hello, im Evie and I’m not an experienced writer, but I like imagining scenarios with the characters and stories I like, so I figured I’d try to share them, so maybe you could enjoy them too!

I typically imagine myself in these scenarios so I apologize if the reader presents feminine or is described in any way that might exclude another reader… uh, anyways, basically this is a short one shot/ head cannon/ prompt…? (I’m honestly not sure) about Keefe Sencen meeting and sort of falling for (human) reader while in the forbidden cites. It didn’t really follow the plot or timeline of stellerloon, it’s implied that he’s in the forbidden cities much longer than in the book and that he struggles way more with adapting and it’s probably very ooc…anyways I love Sokeefe but I just though the idea was interesting :]

oh this also isn’t proofread and it’s probably really cringy but yeah, there isn’t enough x reader fics in the Kotlc fandom so I figured I’d try, feedback and constructive criticism are welcome and encouraged :))

…

⭒ …

To put things simply, he was lost, hungry, confused, and currently short on cash. Turns out walking around with the money from his mothers jewelry in his pockets…wasn’t the safest plan. He’d lost a good amount of it, and probably been scammed out of most of it. He’d considered sneaking back to the lost cites to steal borrow some more of mommy-dearest’s stuff, but the idea of getting caught and possibly facing his friends caused him to quickly scratch that plan. Besides, if he could get away with it the fist time, then it would probably be even easier to take some things from one of the fancier human houses he had paced by in his travels.

So here he was, standing outside the biggest house he had seen in the neighborhood, if you could call it that- all the houses were so far apart that of you tried to walk from the first one to the last one, you might need to stop and camp before continuing to the end.

He had planned it all out-making sure to use the weird human invention called a phone- to look up the owners, make sure they weren’t very good people, or that they’d be home that particular night. He could easily levitate to one of the higher windows since no one would be around. The (l/n) family would be in their vacation home, far from here, and no grounds workers or servants would be back until the owners were ready to return.

It would be easy, slip in, grab a few valuable things, maybe some food too, then slip out and continue on his way to London. What he didn’t have a plan for, was you.

His plan had been going smoothly, he was inside and sifting through your mother’s jewelry box, when you walked in.

For a moment you both stared at each other. You, at the seemingly your age and incredibly handsome boy in black jeans and a Batman hoodie that was currently holding a pair of your mothers diamond earrings- and him at a girl, probably a little younger than him, standing in a soft pink nightgown, and holding a metal baseball bat in both hands.

That seemed to snap him out of his initial shock, and quickly throw his hands up so you wouldn’t hit him with it.

Braking your own trance, you pulled the bat back, and demanded, “Who are you? Why are you in my house? How did you even get in? Wha-”

He was quick to back up a bit before interrupting your questions, “I’m Keefe, I swear I’m not here to hurt you, I just needed to make some money real quick,I thought your family was away, I wouldn’t have come if I’d know you’d be home!” He internally smacked himself for his stupid mistake.

“Oh yeah ‘cause that makes it so much better” you said while rolling your eyes and lowering your arms and ignoring the strange feeling you got about him not wanting to be there while you were, even though it made no sense for you to be upset by that. You decided to blame it on the fact that it was 2:47 am and he just happens to have really nice hair.

You pitched your voice lower to mimic his before adding, “I swear I’d only steal from you if I didn’t think you’d be home to catch me (y/n) sorry ‘bout that.” and then swung the bat around to place the head on the floor and lean your weight against it while smirking at him.

His eyebrows shot up, surprised that you were almost joking with him right now, instead of clobbering his head with the bat, like he thought you were about to. He cleared his throat, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I just-actually I don’t know what I was trying to achieve with that..” He brought his arms down to wrap them around himself, before deciding that he probably looked stupid standing in front of you like that. Especially since you seemed so calm.

“Um, I should go,, I don’t, this was a mistake, sorry, I-I should probably go now-God I sound like an idiot right now. No wonder you aren’t scared of me. Not that i wanted you to be, of course i didn’t. Who would want a pretty girl with a weapon to be scared of them? Not that I think you’re pretty. I mean you’re not, not, pretty im just-“

It was time for your to cut him off, “hey! Relax ok, im honestly not sure what your rambling about right now, but you look like you haven’t eaten in days, and im going to ignore the fact that you called me ugly and pretty just now and offer you some food so you stop trying to steal from me.”

He took a step closer to you, confused as to why he was being so unlike himself right and even more confused as to why you were now offering him kindness. He focused on the emotions coming from you, trying to figure out if you were only helping him out of pity, but only finding empathy and a few more frantic vibes.

You shifted under his suddenly intense-and very close (seriously when had he backs you up against your mothers vanity chair)-gaze, the moonlight steaming through the open window highlighted his eyes and you could see in your proximity the striking ice blue and the darker flecks of azure, cobalt, and royal blue. but you shook your head and forced yourself to ignore his stunning eyes to push him back and question why he had gotten so quite and intense.

He apologized and stepped even further back. “ I guess I was trying to see why you were being so nice to me.”

“And you thought the best way was to push the limits of stranger danger and stare into my soul all intensely with your snowstorm eyes?”

You had meant to be teasing him, but the words came out quieter then you meant them to be, and he seemed to pick up on the later half more than the first.

“So… you were staring at my eyes?” There he was, flirty and teasing and giving you a smirk that had your insides doing weird flippy-floppy things they didn’t usually do.

You felt your face get warm, and you prayed to whatever higher powers there might be that your face wasn’t nearly as red as it felt.

Not that it mattered of course.

He gave you another smirk before letting out a laugh that would have the best choir angels embarrassed by their singing abilities. And that had your betraying face warm even more.

“C’mon, let’s get you something to eat before you push me into this mirror” you quickly turned to the door to lead him towards your own room.

He followed you down the long hallway while teasing you about the pink hue that still refused to let up, particularly due do his continued torture.

You grabbed a coat from your closet and pocketed some cash before leading him out the front door.

“So where are we going (n/n)? I didn’t see anything down this way to eat while I was stalki-er, uh, looking up this place.” He cringed at himself for reminding you about the circumstances of your meeting.

You ignored the word slip and the little nickname in favor of describing a little town with plenty of back alley restaurants that you often snuck out to eat at when your parents were actually home.

He caught the shift in your mood when you mentioned your parents and decided to risk asking about it, besides, how much weirder could this first meeting get?

“Sooo…. I’m kinda confused about something.” “Yeah? What’s up?” You slowed slightly to look at him while he spoke, noticing his slight shift in tone.

“Well, you don’t have to answer or anything, since you don’t really know me-”

“Oh wow, uh sorry to interrupt, but it feels like I do, given how easy it is to talk to you, strange that we only meet what? An hour ago?”

He stoped walking completely to stare at you. “Really? Only an hour? Huh it does feel like we’ve know each other longer…”

The both of you fell quite for a moment before walking again, this time with your destination in sight.

“Uh anyways, why are you here, if your parents and staff are away?” He focused on you emotions to make sure he hadn’t seriously overstepped.

“Oh, well, we don’t really agree about much, or anything really. They’re jerks that only care about money and showing off to other people about how perfect they are. My mom is always taking about how young men approach her about leaving her husband because shes so ‘naturally’ beautiful and my dad is always bragging about how incredibly smart he is and how good he is at handling his business. They like to talk about how well they raised me, even though they never spent time with me or did any of the parenting stuff, and they like to parade around like they’re better than everyone when really, they’re miserable together and they’re always doing shady shit behind the scenes of their business. When they said they wanted to go on a cruise around one of their vacation homes I refused to go with them because they’d just ignore me and force me to play along with their stupid charade.”

By now you were standing in front of a tiny Italian restaurant with low lights and tall booths, very warm and inviting, the perfect safe space that just so happened to smell amazing. And Keefe was more than ready to eat whatever smelled so good. Even if it meant more of the god-awful human water.

But he couldn’t help but stop to watch you for a minute. It was insane how easy it felt to be around you, and safe. He had been in the forbidden cities for months and this was the safest he’d felt in a very long time. Everything about you felt like a complement to him. Even your shitty social status obsessed parents were another way you were similar.

You looked at him, and for a moment he wondered if the weird emotional flurry around you meant you felt the same way. “Keefe? We should head inside, and you can tell me about whatever led to you breaking into my house.”

You giggled at him, it was soft and sweet and he absolutely believed that you could bribe any of the councilors to do your bidding if you wanted to with that laugh.

The rest of the night (or rather, incredibly early morning) was spent sharing every detail about both his and your lives, even when he confessed that he was an elf you barely bat an eye, and he could tell that you genuinely didn’t mind that his mom had done all kinds of weird shit to his head.

You shared your own secrets as well, and you marveled at how accepting he was. Everyone and everything faded away, and for a few hours you were simply two teens that could really understand each other, and it was you best either of you had felt in a very long time.

As the sun came up you took him to the roof of a flower shop that had yet to open for the day. Together you sat and shared the desert from the restaurant while you described your passion for drawing, and he described his. Everything just seem perfect and both you and him wished it could last forever.

Of course things could never be that easy, after all, he explained why he was in the forbidden cities, and you understood that he would probably return to his world eventually, but that did nothing to stop the overwhelming desire to kiss him and run away together.

Even as he explained how his empathy worked and you tried to get your emotions in check so he wouldn’t think you were insane for developing such strong feelings in the span of a few hours, nothing could shadow them.

And when he looked at you, even more intensely than that first time he read you in your mothers bedroom, you couldn’t help but feel like he felt the same way.

He leaned forward slightly and you met him halfway, there was a hairs space between you, and you could feel his warm breath, see all the different blues in his eyes, and smell his soft skin…

“Wait Keefe.”

He froze and his eyes opened so wide you almost worried they would crack like real ice.

“Yes (y/n)? Is something wrong? Did I say something or-”

You cut him off before could spiral, trying to make your emotions clear so he wouldn’t worry so much.

“ I have to ask, after everything you’ve said, are you staying or leaving?”

He paused before pulling back and letting out a deeply emotional sigh. “I have to go, there’s still so much I don’t know or understand, and I still haven’t made it to London to look for those people and, wait! What if, and I know this might sound crazy but…”

He trailed off looking afraid to continue. You could feel your heart beating faster than ever before, and you tried to not get your hopes up. Gently, you urged him to continue, especially since these next words could change everything for you.

He said your name in a way that made your soul tingle and your stomach knot, “Would you be willing, to leave with me?”

You stared at each other for a moment, before you closed your eyes and quickly but softly pressed your lips to his. For a moment, your were scared, for a moment, you considered pulling back, for a moment, you thought you read all his teasing and flirting wrong and completely ruined the best night of your life, and then? He was kissing you back. He was wrapping an arm around your waist and cupping his hand around your face. He was blushing and nervous and probably feeling everything you were feeling.But he was kissing you back. And everything felt perfect.

Slowly you pulled apart and he reseted his forehead against yours while closing his eyes.

The two of you sat there, on the roof of the flower shop, bathed in soft light of the rising sun, practically glowing in each other’s arms.

It would be risky, but leaving everything behind for him seemed worth it, not that there was anything really keeping you here. Maybe you were crazy, but leaving with him felt like the best idea you had ever had, and you were not going to give that up.

He could only hope that none of this would put you in to much danger, but he’d do anything to protect you now, and keep you by his side. Maybe he was crazy, or maybe his mom had truly screwed his head on wrong after she messed him up, but this was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was not about to give that up.

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doomed-era · 7 months

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hey so this may be. A Question. but how would gaffen + widget + maybe the champions react to undertale/deltarunes characters. sorry for undertaling you </3 . also anything on the champions descendants?

OKAY here i go. finally. im gonna limit it to gaffen/widget unless I can think of a funny interaction between undertale characters and the champions I think solely bc there are a lot of them...these are gonna be fairly superficial and based on first impressions don't think too hard about them </3 cause theyre kinda bad

honestly they'd collectively be very weirded out by monsters that can actually speak to them. widget and daruk would definitely try to work things out and yknow. not try to kill anyone while given the first sign of violence gaffen might start attacking everyone. so my first thought is. they are probably better off sticking together in this scenario because of gaffen. and tbf it's not like widget wouldn't be suspicious either, she would be less than friendly at first, especially if she learned how monsters got into the underground. she'd immediately start wondering why and paint humans as the victims who must have had a good reason to do such a thing. idk i'll go in the order of a neutral route

flowey: i'll be honest they would not like flowey...which is HORRIBLE ik. I imagined them trying to beat him up and them him resetting which!!! I do not blame him. if they knew more about him I don't think gaffen would be sympathetic and urbosa would just be pissed. however. mipha probably would reconsider. widget would be all like DONT LOSE HOPE THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!!! revali going "tch I would do cooler things if I could reset everyone" would be funny i admit but smhhh

toriel: ok I admit I think urbosa would be like "shes such a soft mom geez." (baka.) if gaffen wasnt in work mode he'd want to make puns with her and eat her pies....in the meantime he will stare soulfully at her. if toriel read widget facts about snails then widget would be fascinated im ngl she would stay in the ruins with toriel if this was an actual undertale route. however I think they are just taking a tour so whagever

sans: widget would be a bit startled by his jokes! also I think sans would realize that shes like, a PRIME target for them. gaffen and sans would get into a staring contest and gaffen would lose because sans has no eyelids. or does he

explain this toby fox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

papyrus: oh you bet widget and papyrus would get along. immediate best buds. gaffen would look at papyrus like he was insane (his eyes are bloodshot from skeleton staring contest) revali being all are you AWARE of how GULLIBLE you both ARE would be funny and mipha immediately jumping to widget and papyrus's defenses would be super funny

undyne: urbosa being like UM. I am FAR less of a show off than you are. you must serve your kingdom with grace. and then they get into a suplexing contest. daruk also joins but he's like oh haha i'm doing this for fun :) while undyne and urbosa are giving it their all. widget is cheering for urbosa obviously and gaffen is a last-minute contestant. widget cheers even harder for urbosa. im not sure who would win but it's not gaffen. also urbosa thinks it was super funny. also mipha would be fascinated by the echo flowers + have a lot of fun swimming around in waterfall. heartbroken by onion-san and tells her all about zora's domain </3

alphys: im going off my immediate first thought so honestly widget asking what anime is and alphys freaking out about it at first and widget being like OH NO WHAT DO I DO. mipha being like...tell me about this...anime...also widget would think mettaton is really cool. revali might like it but he would not express interest at first. and then he would criticize the sequel to mew mew kissy cutie along with alphys really passionately (iirc??? I forgot which one she didnt like) gaffen is eating instant ramen noodles straight out of the package when no one is looking. also if widget knew about the true lab she'd be like well um its fine ??? you did what you could ig wouldnt think of it as bad at all. which. erm. widget. urbosa would complain that her and daruk cant fit in the elevators and criticize asgore's city planning

asgore: yeah speaking of him. idk I think theyd like him. especially if they've heard a lot of good things on their way over. im imagining them all sitting down for tea...widget might be a little skeptical. and would also definitely figure out that him and toriel are divorced and ask intrusive questions about it. if this was deltarun id say asgore might be a little more interested in talking to gaffen I think he would see a bit of resemblance between gaffen and kris, mostly just quiet + weird + :| face I think. gaffen would just be quietly intimidated I think

OKAY. i'll do deltarune ones cos im kinda enjoying this

kris: ok honestly I cant even imagine kris would want to interact with them. widget would track them down and kris would just leeeeaaave

susie: widget immediately thinking susie is horrible and awful and susie responding in kind by being susie-er is funny to me. she would think widgets relationship with the champions and gaffen is super weird I think, but would she say this? idk.

berdly: ...yeah this is one of the reasons I wanted to answer this ask. I just. revali and berdly...I dont think theyd get along at all I think they'd see the worst aspects of themselves in each other and hate each other </3

uhh I think that is enough for me. for Now. but. yea

champions descendants is fairly complicated so uh if you wanted to send me another ask abt it so I could answer it separately...pleas...

#glider rambles #asks #im still pretty tired but I hope you enjoy #also everyone gives hathy a kiss

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sol-draws-sometimes · 1 year

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Disc World bookclub thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 20-28

Hey @anna-neko ! Did I miss last week… yes. BUT JUST BECAUSE I MISS ONE WEEK DOESN’T MEAN I JUST ABANDON THIS. Look, finals are the week, so these past few weeks have been alot… also I’ve been hyperfocusing on dnd(stares in adhd). I’ve barely read but that’s alright. Once finals are over, I’m going on a roadtrip, so I should have time to read when we’re driving(unless I catch up on critical role…we’ll see).

It’s so late and I’m literally way too tired for nuance. With expectations set, Lets go

“Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city,” he said. “Poisonous, just like its river. Barely fit for humans now, they let everything in—zombies, werewolves, dwarfs, vampires, trolls—“

Something something we live in a society. Cue family talking about how NYC is corrupting the youth or something 🙃. Tbh, insert any big progressive city, and it should work for most of them.

A lot of good stuff in this page(and the next few ones)

1. Something Something colonialism bad. They[Borogravia] are the bad guys here🏃🏃🏃

2. Cool POV stuff coming back. Especially with the song and what not

3. Damn Strappi’s certainly something

4. I hate nationalism. The line b/w patriotism and nationalism is real hard sometimes. I mean, something something, true patriotism is knowing how your country’s fucked, and wanting to it be better. You fight for change cause you love it, and that is way more patriotic than just blinding fighting for country and defending it, even when it is in the wrong.

5. Uggh, the national anthem. Yes the flag thing is an actual thing we do in US. And certain teachers DO loss their shit if you don’t stand up/sing. Look, it’s not like I’m trying to disregard veterans, it’s just… weird and indoctrinationy. Plus, they added, “Under God,” during the cold war so, that feels even more insidious.

6. Poor Wazzer man. I’m glad he rebels in his own small way. Small acts of rebellion are still rebellious.

7. Learning new phrases! I figured due to context clues, but it’s always good to check.

Literally this conversation is literally my fucking thoughts

Uuuuh. War bad! Look. See!

“Well, I’m not buying into it. It’s all trickery. They keep you down and when they piss off some other country, you have to fight for them! It’s only your country when they want you to get killed!” said Tonker.”

Tonker. King Behavior!

And just as they’re going to sleep, so am I.

Fuck this book is good!

Here’s another quote good night!

It’s all lies, she thought muzzily. Some of them are just prettier than others, that’s all. People see what they think is there. Even I’m a lie. But I’m getting away with it.

Ps: I realized last time I stopped at pg 20 but wrote 60… my bad.(should be fixed now tho)

I will add ID text some other date cause I don't have the mental energy rn. I just did, scan text, and copy pasted it into alt w/out checking. If someone besides Anna finds this post and wants them, just @ me in the comment and I'll @ you when I finish this.

First | <-Previous | Next->

#monstrous regiment #discworld #disc world #terry pratchett #book club #sol talks #my post

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insom-nom-nom-niatic · 1 year

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...Redheads...

Fandom: Vox Machina (Critical Role)

Pairing: Vaxleth

Rating: E (if you are in the fandom of CR... this is like child's play let's be honest)

AN: I have a thing of not liking to go very much over 500 words, so this little drabble is a 2 part thing. It's also my first time getting back in the writing saddle for a very very very long time so... it is what it is. I also am a redhead, we all know what I mean when I say... what I say.

“Oh sweet Percy, do tell these folks of our last trip to Whitestone.” Vex’ahlia wrapped her fingers tightly around the snowy-haired man beside her. Glancing quickly towards Vax with an all-knowing nod. He quickly turns on his heels, headed for the door, and grabs Keyleths hand on the way. “Oh me too?!” She gasps as she gets whipped from the group.

Green shoes make the slightest thuds against the hard wood floor panels, sending vibrations through Vax’s knee like an un-rhythmatic massage to the joints while he continued his work on what had to be the grandest lock he’d ever seen.

“I'm not used to going on the super stealth missions.”

“No? Really?” Vax whispered with a smirk. It was pure luck for both of them that the guard dogs had all been preoccupied with the abundance of guests and Grogs loud belly laughs downstairs.

“Yeah! Don’t know why though, this is kinda fun.” Vax just smirks at the redhead’s ideals of a ‘joyous’ time.

2 minutes pass: Keylth is leaning on the door, her forehead rubbing back and forth on the cold wood whilst her eyes roll back and forth. Her red locks covering her features but Vax can tell her ‘joy’ was shortly lived.

“Vaaaaaaaaaaaax. Hurry uuuuuuuuuuup. This is so boring.”

“Kiki-“

“I know I know,” she stands to mock his posture and accent in a low tone; “if it was easy, there would be no need for locks.”

Vax slowly cocks his head to meet the woman beside him. His brown eyes glaring up at her green ones peering back, causing slightest giggle echoing in her chest making his heart skip a beat.

Footsteps begin pounding on the ground down the hall. Only a heartbeat later, the footsteps stop. Keyleth’s eyes widen as she every so slowly takes a step back, peering down the hall at 2 heavily armed guards looking directly her, They move their heads down and back up as they take in the strangers frame. “Uh, hello there.” Keyleth’s fingers fiddle with the side of her dress.

“Get rid of them,” Vax murmurs. His eyes never leaving the lock he has sworn is ‘almost there’ for over 5 songs now. A small pink nub of tongue peeking through the side of hi lips a another tumbler of the lock settles.

“How do I do that?” Keyleth wasn;t sure how loud she had spoken. But given how the guards’ faces contourted in confusion made her assume it wasn;t as ‘stealthy’ as she hoped. The guard further to the left gripped the sword tied to his hip a bit more. She could feel a small ball of sweat roll down the back of her neck when both guards began stalking forwards.

“I don’t know! Do what you red heads do best!” Vax couldn’t help the grin that arose to the corner of his mouth at the words. She was innocent of course, but there was something in that woman that was much more than what she thought she was.

But as Keyleth stood still, fright taking over her body as she stared at the guards inching closer by the heartbeat, Vax’s words replayed in her mind. She was sure she didn’t understand the meaning of what he had mumbled.

Then instinct kicked in.

Keyleth brought her 2 hands together with clenched eyes and a small gasp at what was going to happen. Simultaneously, 2 vines sprung from the floorboards, cracking through the wood and snapping both men together with a quick clash. Both men lay unconscious, possibly dead, in the middle of the hallway. Beside them, the 2 large vines slithered back into the holes they had left gaping on the floor.

Vax arose to his feet. His mouth hung partially open trying to catch his breath as he stared at the, once formidable foes that are now at their feet, That definitely wasn’t what he meant… but it works he supposed.

Keyleth stepped back quietly, heals carefully laying flat on the small area rug directly behind. Her ever green eyes still wide as they caught a look at Elven rogue beside her, the glimpse of a smile pulling at his lips caused a knot to begin growing in her stomach, before his smile infectiously rose to her own features.

She did good?

She did good.

#critical role #vaxleth #vox machina #keyleth #vax'ildan #fanfiction #vox machina fic #vaxleth fic #vaxleth fanfiction #I wrote a thing

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snootlestheangel · 1 year

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The OCs

Literally just another rant/thing about my OCs (I am tagging you @mike-like-t-scream because this is more or less a continuation of the OC rant you asked for)

Completed with the picrews found on this post here (thank you fren)

Anyways! On to the point of this!

Maxlar Whishling

He's my messy man. Yes the sunglasses are not critical but more or less hiding the fact I couldn't make his eyes purple. The sparkle is because he has Zero Clue What Is Happening But Is Happy To Be Here! This is actually the best I've been able to put my mental image of Max into something tangible for others, minus the more curly aspect of his hair

Malvo Whishling

Will cut you, hates everyone and everything. Judging Constantly. So fed up with everyone's bullshit. Will insult you in the most poetic way possible. This is the exact mental image I have of Malvo, y'all. I cannot explain how happy it makes me that this works so well

Hades Evanchio

So anxious. King of the Night Watchers? Sure. King of Anxiety? Absolutely. Might keel over and die from anxiety, actually. The face he's making is because he's just witnessed his beloved husband provoke the powerful Demon that's supposed to be protecting their mutual friend Maxlar. Probably one of my least favorite depictions of our boy, simply because it doesn't do his hair justice. (I will show y'all the Queen Mother, aka his Mum, and just put the curly of her hair onto our boy here, yeah?)

Devon Blackstone

My big boi <3. Look at him! He and Max absolutely have matching sunglasses, don't judge! They're bros! Party bros to be exact! He's vibing and is best Uncle to Maxlar's kids.

Atendarajo Evanchio

HADES'S FERAL HUSBAND!! Look at those freckles!! Definitely bites!! He's flipping Malvo off cause he hates him and he knows Malvo despises lewd gestures like that. Technically used a picrew designed for female characters, BUT, I couldn't find a good one that conveyed a sense of Feral like this one could. So, ignore the slight curve of his chest. Please.

A Few Random Other Characters!

Andrea Whishling (Maxlar's wife)

LOOK AT HER!!! *joins Maxlar in staring at her with total admiration* She the bestest!

Dorothy "Dot" Baker

Andrea's closest friend! A goofball but also so smart! Bestest Aunt of The Year Every Year

Athena Evanchio

The Queen Mother Herself!!!!!! *screams* She's gorgeous!!! LOOK AT HER!! (I am truly each of these beautiful ladies' husbands every time I look at them. Literally just massive heart eyes like their men). She is badass, takes no shit, and looks good while doing it. Loves her Son-In-Law despite the fact he's a feral little gremlin. She thinks he balances Hades's anxiety out perfectly and reminds her so much of her past husband's high energy personality (Hades's father)

#snootles reveals her ocs #snootles's ocs #snootlestheangel #maxlar whishling #asmalverious whishling #malvo whishling #hades evanchio #devon blackstone #atendarajo evanchio #dorothy baker #athena evanchio #imperfection cast of characters

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incarnateirony · 1 year

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For those of you who have been following the Startup Business Drama and Vacation Man, I've got a convo behind the cut for you. Bearing in mind this man came banging at my door at 130 AM to prove how Here For Me he is after fucking off for upwards of 3 weeks at a critical time period without doing any of his promises beforehand. Like literally I pretended not to hear it because, holy shit dude, it's 130 AM, it's not my fault you can't manage your life. But he knocked until the cops showed up asking what was going on.

(Vacation Boy) — Today at 4:19 PM I agree we need to talk about several things yes. I figured I would come by either Sunday or Monday night after we have both had a few days to calm down and be pain free. I'm in excruciating pain and exhausted from this trip myself and I got back to the house that was completely wrecked. I've got at least a week's worth of trash I got to deal with and a pile of their laundry that's as big as I am just to start was before I can even do my own. I even took a muscle relaxer myself last night and it did absolutely nothing for me.

EXPY P2P — Today at 4:25 PM I honestly do not prefer in person discussion. And that stands with or without awkward conversations. My brain does not assemble thoughts well in person, everything gets lost, I become frustrated even at myself, and it causes manic spirals of anger. There is a reason I am fighting so hard for chat, not voice jobs, even if will accept voice jobs. It is a legitimate disability I do not think people understand. It's not just exhausting by nature of talking costing energy, which it does, but of a neurodiverse issue and the methods my brain functions at, which is why half the time I just. Stare or have long responses or just sit there sorting through things visually, and I inevitably lose what I've said or haven't covered yet, whereas text allows the ability to track back what has and hasn't been said. Or why the longer even calm conversations go the more my voice escalates in either volume, pitch, or speed.

EXPY P2P — Today at 4:34 PM In the time you were gone, I lost one of our leading plants, by the way. In the timeline no longer being "take 1-2 extra weeks" to "move it ahead a week, actually", broken stem girl strangled herself without time to repair. In attempting to stretch, the stem rupture broke out of the stem while the stem itself hardened to the point even attempted surgical cut of the damaged tissue was too late for the impaction. It is to some extent my fault by not attempting to clone her, but I also did not have a clone tray, and that too would have caused a developmental delay, so either way was a roll of the dice. This was on the list of reasons, beyond optimizing canopy coverage for yield, I wanted to give them 1-2 more weeks (recovering from past issues, and her stem recovery, as well as the resurrected plant.) This was an avoidable loss, but I was essentially in a corner, and needing to figure out where my minimum 6 weeks would fit without overcosting Sarah without Gen, who only came back post-flip. Just like all the stuff David tried to price gouge me on at 3x new market rate now being offered, also months late, in the final hour, after all the costs, and struggle, and saves from damages, because asking it earlier was too uncomfortable. If it comes in AT ALL, that NEEDS to go into the grow op IMMEDIATELY, not a branch off, not a learning pet project, into actually being equipped to do this properly. Mark, I need you to understand, the plants need what they need. They need them when they need them, not when it's most convenient for us. We can not simply whip schedules around over and over and demand they meet them, we cannot wait extra weeks to give them the bare minimum, we can not demand peak performance without giving them even essential conditions. If I say "hey here's a ten dollar fan I can't buy", don't go "ok do that" and sit with a thumb up your ass and wait until I get one only for it to come without a cord, only to find you have fans laying all over your house the whole time. If I say it's time consuming to manually train the plant canopies nonstop because they readjust for light, don't tell me "I forgot to get you the thing you asked for, for two months." If I say, I just took critical fall damage with my setup, don't tell me you still forgot the goddamn power strip. When I say I need grow bins when the plants are 4 weeks old, don't show up with them at 6-7 weeks and pikachu face that their roots are too big, the vegetables you are demanding on an insane schedule are literally moving faster than you are, per your request and by my skill. You can't expect me and the plants to run olympic triathalons on a timeline crunch while you stand there Forgetting Stuff or holding on to save 10 bucks yourself just so I can buy it on my pocket change too late too. These are easy things to prioritize, many of which had easy, even free answers to you. The reason the bastards are doing Great is because people paid 60$ to get me the dirt that would have been 24$ to get pickup at walmart independence supercenter. The reason they can have the HPS to themselves dedicated in a space is because John and Noiz collectively put in over $100 to add lights that should have been added months ago but I refused to put more weight on Sarah and spent my days recreating the sun moving for them.

EXPY P2P — Today at 4:42 PM

At this point we are pretty much surrendered to this continuing as a small scale operation that barely self floats through past the holidays until we can work past debts, restrictions, the fraud my old rental agency pulled et al, and if we manage to be out of here before that, we've pulled out a miracle. I am mutually job hunting all day while house hunting for independent rentals all day and yes, contacting them over and over and over as needed. You got offended when I pointed out you've lived with David for years and are out of touch with rental reality. And then you asked if you might have to call more than once, so god far be it from me to assume you went the extra mile and looked for options yourself knowing I'm busy being a horticulturist, a chemist, an engineer, and a goddamn wizard full time while training plants because of Stuff You Forgot. And what about moving costs? Deposit? Where is all this money coming from???? September 20? Unsold plants? Because I communicated what the sped up bloom period would be like, and you sped it up in your head faster than that, to essentially make impossible promises to Sarah in my name, and I told her no, no that's not right, no. NOIZ has been in on this like two weeks and already has displayed a clearer understanding of grow cycles and timelines than you have because they are actually listening, so I've been messaging them, as investors, to make educated decisions on timelines. You, meanwhile, say getting a job you want to [checks notes] throw seeds outside in early October. In the midwest. With a photoperiod strain. After the equinox. At onset winter. You don't even need to be a weed wizard to see why that was None Thoughts, Head Empty. Then, instead of offering to invest up in the business, so I could send you overstock we get in bulk, plan A Grow Of Your Own. All months late. Like okay, lesson one my guy, most plants don't grow in snow.

I am able to do this now because John also prioritized buying other things, like the trellis net I asked for since we start, which has dramatically streamlined my work.

When John saw the setup I had, he was shocked the plants were even alive much less several of them being the size of plants given twice as long to vegetate.

EXPY P2P — Today at 4:51 PM here is another grower with 12 week old, pre-bloom plants about 2 1/2 feet tall, or topped in the same strain to make the spread out version. They had extra leaves from their age but otherwise, I don't know if you notice, this was why I was asking 1-2 weeks extra. To let them get here. By 8-9 weeks, not 12. I did this on next to nothing, and essentially alone.

The neighbor commented on the dirt quality, asked if thats why I used for the ones in tent. I said no, we used timberline bc it was cheaper off the top. He shit his pants. The entire point of choosing dirt over hydroponics is to NOT force a 90 day timeline, to NOT have plants start dying after that point, to BE able to give them extra time, to TAKE the extra few weeks to double or triple your results. I had also been topping the plants when I was told I could have 1-2 extra weeks. Then, I was basically forced into abandoning that, so the topping never had chance to take, and they're going to have minimal returns from that. The plants can not time travel.

I have been still working to my last breath during the day. Sometimes literally, and knocking myself out on CO2 to try to make these plants give us more than 3-4 ounces a plant, because the hundred times I explained timelines, square meter canopies or equivalent light coverage, the differences in yield with comparison to professional growers with high end equipped rigs, et all flew in one ear and out the other, largely because someone planted "90 day grow" in your head when I told you "about 3 months, maybe 4", not 90 days, because I'm not functionally retarded, and I knew the benefit in getting 110 day plants I could push to 100 day plants, that were suddenly committed to being 90 day plants, and then 85 day plants, and I got driven to near insanity trying to make demands and deadlines and flipped the switch before I got other people committing to keeping my ass covered while I got this stable. I might not have been pushed into making this decision if, for example, Gen came around a week earlier than she did, but I was staring down Sarah having to pay september AND a chunk of october to move, before the move fell in. And we conceded I may need to sit. And I can't unflip what's been flipped already, it doesn't work like that. What had once been you saying "oh I can swipe a card for a week or two of the final month if needed" became "I quit my job and NEED money by now." Every term and condition of this has been changed on me. I say "september 20-something" for the earliest, you start promising Sarah Sept 20, not 20-something, that she won't have to pay XYZ, etc, and that is simply Not Fucking True nor did anyone say anything that would have implied that if you were listening at all. "Harvest by Sept 20-something" that goes all the way to Sept 29 = "Able to sell and move by Sept 20" to you HOW? When I was talking about extending 1-2 weeks, and you said yes, and that being 1-2 week Oct? September 20 COMES IN WHERE BEYOND FANTASY, MY GUY? 6-8 WEEK BLOOM, MY GUY.

At some point you decided you "only want an average yield", while ignoring what I said was needed to get there, and reading bare minimum sellers information without context, while giving sub-minimum conditions, lighting, dirt, and grow time all at once.

You say, "I appreciate your work" but that truly means nothing to me if you haven't absorbed what that work is, or what you're demanding, or what I'm communicating to achieve it at all, while setting expectations in your own head about what it will look like how much and how fast. I'm sitting here doing algebra about ppfd and umols and CO2 and absorbable moles in a day to try to push timelines without losing further results beyond the conditions and timelines already forced on them. I had literally ad nauseam in the chat gone over how to get sq meter canopies with 1-2 weeks and before THAT got rug pulled on me got an Uh Huh Go Ahead and then suddenly it got Backwardsed into 1 or 2 weeks LESS, when bloom simply doesn't work like that, which I also explained ad nauseam.

I literally resurrected a different plant from the dead. It could have had 2 weeks to catch up to the others. It will not.

And somewhere between there you started trying to charge me black market rates for groceries that I wouldn't have needed help with if I hadn't been trying to buy shit for the plants on my own well past my investment bar to begin with, just like Sarah, while expecting Sarah to pay more. And then I'm sorry, yes, outright either lying to either us or yourself about the car, and then bouncing when your own words on record, or your own failure to google what I found in five seconds to the same town you drove not just 97.4 miles around that weekend, but at least 50 before that calculating your gas tank capacity and the trip useage to get there. When really it boils down to something you said from the jump "I feel like I deserve this." Just like you feel like you deserve a fuckton of money without meeting the $500 bar, or doing the accounting, or the licensing, or any of it, or deserve Sarah buying more stuff, or deserve to quit your job while I'm ready to jump into working full time alongside this just to stabilize myself now that my whole livelong day isn't set to keeping these plants together. And I pass out at a semi sane midnight hour and have you come banging at my door at 130 AM until the cops show up because you didn't consider time, or that I wasn't replying to the messages, or that I might need human functions like sleep sometimes, just to prove something about you being here, weeks too late, after I pulled everyone else in to cover the stuff I was short to keep this whole operation from going in the toilet because you wanted a vacation that you justified and showed me the long, long list of seals and fluids your car had needed not since last year, but since 2019 at least and like, my guy, you not having your priorities together before isn't our cost to eat. I dare you to do the math on your chipotle drives and costs since 2019. On your 400/mo rent, 1500/mo base income and +500 work going... somewhere.

EXPY P2P — Today at 5:33 PM Then yeah, I hear "oh well no mail since a week ago" "??? the other 10 days?" "IDK David-" ? wasn't told to keep an eye out or to file all mail? That's like, bare minimum dude, that's not even work for you. There's a lot of refusal of bare minimum. If there will be a CEO of this company, at this rate, it will be John. John acted like a CEO. He took a look at my setup, what I was accomplishing with essentially nothing, and asked "what do you need?" without delay, without me bitching. Not "What can you give me how soon?" It all arrived next day in the mail. Not weeks or months later. Well most specifically he said "Holy shit your wires that's sooooo not safe. Oh my god wait holy shit you're actually pulling it off somehow. Oh my god. What do you need."

(Vacation Boy) — Today at 5:56 PM Yes David was told to look for mail addressed to you. In fact David was told twice. After I took you home the first night he met you he and I talked in detail about our friendship and the operation as it stood then, and again the day that I left.

Nothing has arrived here that's had your name on it other than the last mail I brought you before I left. David has confirmed that he has not thrown out or sent back anything with your name on it the entire time that he was here.

EXPY P2P — Today at 6:02 PM Okay. That is good. But we need a come to jesus talk about the rest, my guy. Because I have been in no way vague about plant timelines, requirements, cycles, lighting, et al, but it became increasingly clear in the last ~ETA 3 weeks that nothing has sunk in. I in fact explained these things in loops so many times I felt like I was being obnoxious about it.

(Vacation Boy) — Today at 6:04 PM I agree. We will have that conversation sooner rather than later.

EXPY P2P — Today at 6:05 PM I will not be forced to hold this conversation in person without regards to my neurodiverse limitations to leverage the conversation into your benefit. It can be had here. All the information stays on page where you can read it again and again and again without losing or forgetting anything.

(Vacation Boy) — Today at 6:07 PM Ok fine. But you will not be guaranteed to get a response from me before tomorrow night. I have already told you why.

EXPY P2P — Today at 6:07 PM That is fine. But my points are there. That is another benefit of messages. They can and will stay there, and they do not disappear, or get forgotten. We're having that conversation. You can have it as slow as you want. These points that have been spoken will not disappear, even if we take it to in person where I can't sort out my thoughts, they still exist. But if I say one last thing here today: For all of your thought about your own 10-15 hour a week work life balance, I beg you to consider how you would view a boss that treated you with the conditions, equipment, and expectations you put on me before, and during, vanishing on vacation. John has been now calling me almost daily while working carrying around 100 lb equipment on his 40 hour hard labor workweek to check in on if anything new has come up and been needed, or how to help. The only reason he was not doing this prior was because I wasn't complaining and, well, he was working full time. Keep in mind, if we had gotten a place, and he had moved in, he didn't come in asking for money, he made a contingency on having a job lined up and ready to not put a drain on a young business, not just running here to quit his, despite his own creeping disabilities. So again, remove the perception from being defending yourself. Pretend these demands or lack of listening had come from some other boss or CEO, since that's what you said you were going to be, and put the hats on you to handle. How would you interpret this supervisor and how would you feel?

Zero. Dead plants. That would be the Average Yield in the conditions and timeline I was given. Other people rescuing this made the Average Yield maybe 3-4 oz a plant. I am trying to do the same plant wizardry that kept them alive at all to make them half a pound a plant, but you know I hate overpromising. The average yield with what I was left with, and all the delays to even get power strips or clippy fans or other things laying around for free, would be Zero. I need you to wrap your head around that before this conversation moves any further.

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Fascinating that in that entire brick, he could spring forward to go "well I DID do the bare minimum about the mail, exactly" but needs even MORE delay of time to figure out how to make excuses for the other bullshit.

And that shit at the start? What is he bitching about? Who is he accusing of trashing the house that bad while he was out of town? The owner that hasn't been there half the time? Throwing in a load of laundry for them when he gets to rent an entire 1500 sq foot house for 400/mo utilities included, since said owner is only in town a few weeks a year? Who made all the piles of trash? The fucking cats?

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