#but also i am poor
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Christmas Bazaar SEASON
This is the time of year that makes me want to learn how to crochet because I want to MAKE A GIANT WHALE SHARK and TINY OCTOPUS. This is a need. Also that chicken. It is time to buy earrings and honey and jam and sodas from the sports team and anything but those 3D printed creatures.
Like I get the idea but idk man it feels sterile in comparison to Grandma Becky and her granddaughters trying to sell their clay earrings and bulky-weight knit hats.
It is time to browse for Christmas presents for your friends that might end up squirreled away in your own home. Cookies and specialty popcorn and caramel. Ornaments and dog treats. My neck of the woods hosts them in high schools and churches, where the orchestra/band/choir gets up and plays Christmas carols while browsing.
Depending on the parking and how popular it is, you're going to want to get there very early in the morning, but you're in luck, the Holy Grounds coffee shop is open. Or middle schoolers are desperately trying to make an Italian soda.
It's a fun Saturday, and you get to support local businesses over buying everything last minute off of Amazon and praying that it comes in time. I bought my friend mini whisks to hang in her ears. Phenomenal. There used to be a clockmaker. Once you get to know the people, they come back every year. The same company makes headbands and I buy one every Christmas, and now I have a small collection in my closet.
You say you want a cozy fantasy life, cozy fantasy is found at a Christmas Bazaar. Admission is free. Well, at least it is in my neck of the woods.
#i swear get your squad#carpool#it is not Christmas but it is time to shop#i think my favorite find has been some solid perfume from an apiary#it is honey scented#they stopped making it#i love the children and their spoon rings#hot take but the 3D printers are soulless#touch all the yarns#one lady was making earrings out of fishing lures#i love the teens scrolling i feel your pain#i also love the old ladies knitting behind their stand#it just makes it that much more approachable for me#i always feel weird leaving a booth without buying anything#but also i am poor#knitblr#knitting#crochet#3D printing#maker's market#Christmas#bazaar#craft fair#crafts#thanksgiving#november#december#christmas aesthetic#christmas countdown
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bg3 x taskmaster filed under 'things that are funny to me and nobody else'
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#taskmaster#gale dekarios#astarion#karlach#shadowheart#i would've done more i had to stop myself#i am a short shart truther forever#also i feel like this only works with selunite shart bc she's given herself permission to be silly#karlach and astarion have the vibe of having the same idea with Very different intentions#karlach 'steal from the rich to give to the poor' and astarion 'steal from the rich because money is nice'
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🏹🐦💘 happy holidays from your favorite super-heroes!! 💘
(i am not late today is the 25th everyone please shh)
fanart inspired from @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 's DDVAU! my brain is so rotten with these two silly gooses...
#artwork#artists on tumblr#drawing#digital art#hermitcraft#<- i'm only using that tag so my blog can be tagged properly#happy holidays!!#brain... so rotten... it's all... too sweet...#i think this is a grand time to say i have learned i like drawing wings#what will i do with this information? who knows#also if anyone is reading this my commissions are open i am so very poor pls n thx
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tsum events really are just the best, huh
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#to be fair this is from mal's card story so it's more...event-adjacent#i-it still counts right#poor malleus tsum is having such a time#first it blows up the kitchen and then it almost gets spin-cycle'd to tsum-death#the poor little guy just wanted to help with the party! it was trying its BEST 😭#and instead it accidentally recreated every other tuesday from my college days#i am so genuinely delighted to read two entire chapters of malleus bragging about knowing how to use household appliances#(he knows what he's doing! he READ the MANUAL)#(you know that manual has copious notes covering the margins in perfect copperplate)#and the callback to his dorm ssr story. perfect.#we all knew this was going to end in malleus punching a washing machine into smithereens#i'm disappointed that the next part is probably just going to be a fun party or whatever#and not malleus showing off how close he is to finally mastering the toaster#twst please where is my spinoff game where we have to help a dragon fae prince learn how to do household tasks#i have an indescribable need to see malleus attempt to use a vacuum#he is very enthusiastic and also very stupid and we love him for it
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Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#remy bonnaire#Arno#through a series of unfortunate events I will be posting this after the update will be out so my timing will be more so:#“Alternate take on how that scene played out” Rather than my funnier “My prediction for how it will go down”#I truly think Remy would rather admit to crimes he didn't commit than confess he has a thing for men.#It would be funny! It would be so funny if this is how Jamis found out. Alas...Not yet...Not yet...#I do love the idea that Jamis completely overlooked the all the elder god horror to get right down to the question of 'HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM'#Remy knows him. Knows him carnally. Wouldn't you like to also know your captain better? In spirit and body and mind?#Jealousy looks good on Jamis. Now he just has to do something about it.#Poor Remy though...He love Jamis so much he'd do anything to prevent losing him.#Which entails never giving Jamis a chance of rejecting or accepting his feelings!#Meanwhile...Jamis is a bisexual disaster man who is at his *limit*.#(For the MDZS fans looking at this Tigers comic who still have no context:#This is like Lan Xichen finding out Jin Guangyao hooked up with Nie Mingjue after LXC spent all that time thinking JGY was straight.#Better yet. This is like WWX just starting to realize his crush on LWJ and then finding out he and JC hooked up in the time skip.#'Nice to know you're into men but why did I have to find out like this' moment.)#((Yes I am trying to bridge the gap between the fandoms I am in. Yes I am still on my propaganda train. Choo Choo!!!))
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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ive literally never interacted with the rats smp ever besides like once
but ren and martyn exist. and a lot of my other favorite creators. so we're going headfirst into rat yaoi. raoi, if you will. ratataoi?? ratatouille yaoi? ...ill work on it
#i also am one of the poor souls who misread ren's specialty as snuggling. sigh... dreamers continue to be dreamers#rats smp#mcyt#art#digital art#my art#rendog#renthedog#martyn inthelittlewood#martyn itlw#martyn fanart#is there a duo name for this. like.#rentyn#that sounds like renting thats kinda funny... cuz theyre.. theyre in a hotel.... yeah ok#okay how about this one#treebark#is that it. is that their duo name. is that a trafficblr only one i dont know how mcyt works despite being here for the majority of my life#hello#whatever we continue on with regular boring tags because wooahhh exposure woahh guys pay me in exposure (dont)#i formally apologize if you are really taking time out of your day to read these tags. you will not be receiving compensation#rats smp fanart#rats smp season 2#rats smp 2#rats in paris#ratshipping#i guess#yeah#yeah i can't deny it im sorry for trying#did you know this is the end of the tags#truly it is
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shhhh
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#tortured megumi fr three and a half draws in a row so now he can nap with his bf as a reward#thanks fr always being such a good sport megumi gomennnnnn#it's always a bit jarring going back 2 simple fluffy pieces after weeks of the heavier stuff#bc on one hand it's nice 2 just draw sth cute. but on the other hand i am like what am i supposed 2 Yap abt now!!!#wym they r just cuddling wym there is no Lore#the only thing abt this piece tht digs a bit deeper is th fact tht - unbeknownst 2 me while i ws sketching -#the pose ended up w them in the shape of an anatomically correct heart#patting my subconscious on th back fr that one . itfs heart imagery my beloved#also yuuji Koala itadori the absolute psychopath 100% th type 2 sleep in a hoodie without overheating . poor megumi smh#not only does he have 80kg of Boy practically On him but all th added heavy fabric on top of that#he may look peaceful here but best bet this boy is not getting a full 8 hours#maybe in its own way this too is a hina tortures megumi draws#i think he'll forgive me tho smile. he'll forgive yuuji too
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hermann pining after newt is my favourite because he's so unnecessarily tortured about it. he suffers. he yearns. he is by turns ashamed of and disgusted by his own feelings. desperate tragic longing fills his heart, and yet he dares not speak on the matter, for newton evidently doesn't reciprocate. it is agony.
and it's all for a guy who wears godzilla print underwear, regularly plays air guitar in the shower, and once said retroviral DNA integration was, quote, "punk rock."
absolutely perfect. 10/10, no notes.
#me watching with a bucket of popcorn: subjected to such indignities... this poor man...#hermann. he loves you back. he's always loved you back. this is ridiculous#admittedly it's also pure headcanon. but like... am i wrong?#newmann#hermann gottlieb#newt geiszler#newton geiszler#pacific rim#i forgot my own tag somehow.#unscientific aside
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Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms
#i am (lesbian) sipping him like a fine DESSERT WINE#my evidence by the way is very simple and very damning. joyce messier. there i said it.#if you guys can appreciate the fact that Joyce is a complex figure worthy of disgust yes but also worthy of empathy#despite being a venal coward facilitating acts of violence and slaughter of the organized working poor of martinaise in the name of capital#if you can understand that she is a dimensional figure while also being an embodiment of the moral apathy and cruelty if capital owners#but you cant look at evrart and see that he is (while deeply flawed and morally suspect) also a dimensional figure#on top of the fact that his motivations are eminently relatable and dare i say it baser#and his greatest failing imho is in failing to advocate for the interests of *all* the poor of martinaise#opting instead to marginalize the inhabitants of the fishing village in favor of a power grab in the interests of himself and his union#though this is imo a bit of a grey area morally. undeniably a wrong and bad thing to do but done in service of clairs political goals#to gather power to advocate for the working class against ultraliberal monoliths like wild pines and fascistic orgs like krenel#still super wrong but i can follow the moral arithmetic there tho i don't like it#but like my point is if u can see that joyce is evil and pathetic but still cool and sexy but you consider clair flatly distasteful#thats cus hes not conventionally attractive#cus he is *every bit* as dimensional and interesting as joyce and he is not nearly as politically shite even if hes interpersonally a jerk
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"Heavens, he doesn't understand again." "Every time he says 'I don't understand', Lui-shixiong grabs someone to demonstrate until he understands..." Ji Jue quietly complained to Shang Qinghua. No wonder the injuries at Bai Zhan Peak had only increased!
so this is obviously Liu Qingge's entire love language, right?
#svsss#liushen#liu qingge#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#lqg#sqq#sqh#this scene was a work of art#shen ''tactical peak lord'' qingqiu is here a) farming friendship points b) improving his cultivation and#c) getting back at the bai zhan disciples for bullying *his* disciples in a very subtle way#meanwhile liu qingge is presumably twirling his hair and blushing because shixiong in seeking him out for intentional sparring practice#and rather than getting upset or bitchy about losing hes intentionally stopping and asking for lqg's expertise and opinion? lqg is SWOONING#these poor disciples but also this is the cutest scene and i really really love it#like okay i actually am understanding why lqg acts the way he does around sqq in the rest of the series now#meanwhile sqh is trying to figure out if Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu has a) lost all his memories or is b) Plotting Something Sinister#cause that's the only thing that makes any fucking sense here#my art
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vincent valentine week 2024 - day 1; surprise/sweet
a short comic based off of a thought the end of advent children gave me - what if once in a while aerith could, for a short time, communicate via phones? it's a bit of a stretch idea but i thought it'd be cute!
#final fantasy vii#ffvii#ff7#vincent valentine#aerith gainsborough#vvw2024#vincentweek2024#my art#<- i am moonlight elegy on twt#by the gods i will make the aerith and vincent friendship content myself if i have to#also i just crunched all 5 of these pages within about 30 hours and i do NOT recommend doing that. it will be my first and last time#i've not actually done a comic before! and i'm not a background guy! so if you notice poor anatomy/backgroudns/whatever simply do not!#kjdhfg#THIS IS NOT SHIP ART!! PLEASE DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP!!#I REPEAT THIS IS FRIENDSHIP CONTENT !!! OK THANK U FOR LISTENING
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Oh Boy have I made a discovery
#I am very excited about this#HAD to include the virgin mary distillers tshirt too!#soooooo much to work with here#also LOVE the 'manly man' translation 😂#they said 'he's rory but a boy actually'#apologies for the poor gifs I really threw these together#gilmore girls#literati#jess mariano#rory gilmore#rory x jess#jess x rory#gilmore girls meta#my gifs
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bring your son to work day
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#sorry this might be it guys#just kind of burnt out right now#i am enjoying the event though! i love these silly beanbags and their charming little adventures#can't wait for silver-tsum to wake up just long enough to take a bullet for malleus-tsum#and i extra extra love malleus and his beanbag both being SO passive-aggressive about missing the pile-up#the solution: DANCE PARTY#APPARENTLY#between this and glorious masquerade i'm starting to think this is malleus' solution to everything#(is this how episode 7 will end) (we DO traditionally get an end-of-episode rhythmic...)#also a+ some truly excellent spritework going on in this on#(sebek crunches down slightly 'RIDE ME WAKATSUMSAMA') (long beat) (malleus and tsum just sliiiiiide away screen left)#genuinely so much funnier than a literal depiction could ever be#anyway i did some careful calculations re:the probability of upcoming cards that i absolutely need and long story short#i am key-poor but tsum!malleus-rich >:)#(immediately goes through and switches all his lesson sprites to having a tsum wobbling on his head) worth it#now watch next month they're going to give us a white rabbit rerun with malleus and/or lilia as the frilliest froufrou bunnies#and i will be thoroughly effed
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Flower Empowered.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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okay, so i've mentioned before how boba isn't above using wordplay/intentionally ambiguous wording/verbal loopholes to get out of rules or agreements he doesn't like while maintaining a front of ~*being true to his word*~. i believe the phrase i used was, "like some fucked up fae creature."
HOWEVER, after a review of additional expanded universe materials, i have come to the delighted realization that he has truly been doing this shit non-stop since he was a child. it's literally like,
"dad says i'm supposed to feed these feeder mice to this eel while he's gone, but TECHNICALLY, the words he used were, 'we'll be back when these are gone,' which doesn't necessarily mean dead. ALSO he's said that "patterns are traps," and killing a mouse each day would be a pattern, so if i let some of them go instead, then TECHNICALLY, i'm just following his advice :)" and "dad said i need to be in this apartment when he gets back, which TECHNICALLY means he said i could sneak out as long as i'm fast enough to get back before he does :)"
which leads to
"jabba said he wants me to destroy every last member of this smuggling ring despite the fact that the majority of them are enslaved children but i only promised to 'deal with' them, so if i kill their master and send them away, i've still technically destroyed the entire gang and 'dealt with' the members :)"
which leads to
"the hutts are only paying me to kill this dude and deliver them a grisly video of his death, but they didn't say i couldn't do a bunch of extra stuff like torch his merchandise afterwards, just that i wouldn't be paid for it :)"
which leads to
"it would technically be a breach of code for me to kill these guys unrelated to an active bounty, even though i really want to and it would be necessary to save the life of a third party, but oh would you look at that, said third party happened to find three credits in his pocket, and as long as i verbally agree to said fee, this is now an ongoing bounty, and i can kill with impunity :D"
which leads to
"based on your promise, i hereby verbally agree to backstab my entire galaxy and help deliver it to the yuuzhan vong for purging and enslavement (but since i know your promise is a lie, my promise "based on" it is also a lie and i'm actually going to secretly go behind your back and do the opposite :)"
basically, if you're gonna hire boba fett for something specific, you better have outlined at MINIMUM a 12-page document outlining exactly what he can and cannot do, or he WILL just fuck off and do whatever the hell he wants
#boba fett#poor jango thinking that having boba memorize all these rules and behaviors verbatim would make him dutiful and obedient#instead he just trained the galaxy's foremost rules lawyer LOL#my favorite thing is that boba is legitimately so good at flying under the radar with his rule-breaking#that jango doesn't catch him at it until THEY'RE ON GEONOSIS#and he pulls boba aside and is like ''i'm not happy you disobeyed me but also i am proud of you bc it means you're growing up''#and boba is internally like ''omg...''#''dad thinks this is the first time i've ever disobeyed him 🥹''#boba fett's reputation: i will do exactly what you pay me to do‚ just as you say it (reassurance)#boba fett in reality: i will do EXACTLY what you pay me to do‚ JUST as you say it (threat)
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