#but also i KNOW the longer i wait the older ill get in This Shit and the more Upset i'll get

[morninkim]

1am and i Need to sleep but instead i'm awake having tit thoughts (want them. chest too nothing and feels empty.)

[itneverendshere]

Can we get something along the lines of bartender reader maybe working at the country club and some guy has been hitting on her all night, he’s older, creepy, won’t leave her alone, getting drunker as the night goes on and she’s just trying to ignore him but she has to go to the supply closet later in the night or steps away for whatever reason and the guy follows her? reader is gone for too long and Rafe notices, finds her and stops the guy?? I need protective Rafe over reader 😍

ugh i hate creeps, literally felt ill writing this but for the sake of the story i did, bc it's unfortunately very common. thank you for the request lovely 🫶🏻🫂

throw away my faith just to keep you safe - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) warnings: unwanted advances; there's a creep.

It was just another Friday night, the usual crowd of kooks indulging in their weekly rituals of wealth and excess. For you, it was just another night behind the bar.

Wiping down the counter, you glanced at the clock. Nearly midnight.

Your shift was crawling toward the finish line, thank god, but the crowd promised at least another hour of pouring drinks and faking smiles. Not that you minded by this point — the tips were decent, and the job wasn’t hard. But sometimes, the clientele was more than you could handle.

“Another round for me, sweetheart?”

You turned toward the voice and visibly shuddered at the sight. There he was again — the guy who had been hitting on you all night, like a stupid plague. He was in his mid-forties, with thinning hair and a sleazy smile. He’d been getting progressively drunker, his advances getting bolder with every drink. You didn’t get paid enough to put up with this shit, but you also didn’t feel like getting fired for slapping someone across the face. 

You gave him a tight-lipped smile, trying to keep it professional. “Sure. Another whiskey?”

He leaned closer, his breath reeking of alcohol. “Y’know you’ve got the prettiest eyes. Why don’t you come sit with me for a bit? I’m sure the bar can survive without you.”

Internally, you cringed. Outwardly, you kept your smile, though it was starting to drop. “I’m working,” You replied, “I can’t.”

He grinned like he hadn’t heard you — or maybe he just didn’t care. “C’mon, you can take a break. I’ll make it worth your while.”

You’d rather shoot yourself in the face. You turned away, busying yourself with grabbing his drink. You didn’t want to make a scene. You could handle this. You’d dealt with drunk idiots your entire life.

But something about him was different — he wasn’t just annoying, he was persistent, and you didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

Rafe had checked in on you earlier, but you hadn’t seen him for a while. Normally, you could handle yourself, but tonight you really wished he was closer.

The guy’s drink slammed down in front of him harder than you intended, and you forced another smile. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he drawled, eyes dragging down your body in a way that made your skin crawl. “You’re too pretty to be stuck behind a bar. Bet you could find someone to take care of you, huh?”

You barely held back an eye roll as you turned away from him, grabbing the rag to wipe down the counter again just to have something to do with your hands. 

The guy cleared his throat, leaning even closer over the bar. “How much longer do you think you’ll be working, sweetheart?” His voice was low, like he was trying to make it intimate, but it just made your stomach turn. “I’ll wait for you. We could have a little fun after you’re off. I know you’re not gonna go home alone tonight, right?”

“Yeah, I am,” you muttered under your breath, hoping he didn’t hear.

But he did.

“Aw, come on now, don’t be like that,” he said, his grin widening like you were joking with him. “I know girls like you — all tough on the outside, but once someone gives you a little attention, you melt.”

You slammed the rag down, turning toward him, patience leaving your body. “Look, I’ve told you, I’m working. And even if I wasn’t, I’m not interested. So how about you just take your drink and leave me alone?”

His smile dropped for a moment, his eyes narrowing in irritation. “You don’t gotta be a bitch about it, sweetheart,” he slurred, clearly not backing down. “I’m just trying to be nice.”

Before you could answer — or reach for the nearest object to throw at him — a familiar voice cut in from behind.

“How about you fuck off before I make you?”

You knew that tone. It was the one he used right before things escalated. Fast. You looked over to see Rafe standing just behind the bar, his jaw clenched and his eyes locked onto the guy in front of you.

His posture was tense, fists curled at his sides like he was holding himself back from jumping at the guy. “Rafe,” you called softly, reaching out to grab his arm. “It’s fine, I’ve got it.”

But he didn’t take his eyes off the man. “No, you don’t,” he muttered, stepping closer to the bar, “This guy’s been harassing you all night. He needs to leave.”

He looked Rafe up and down, taking in the expensive clothes, the look in his eyes, and the way his muscles tensed beneath his shirt.

“Hey, man,” the guy said, holding up his hands in a show of surrender. “No need to get all worked up. I was just talking to her.”

“You weren’t just talking,” Rafe snapped, “You were being a creep, and now you’re gonna get the fuck out of here.”

The guy opened his mouth to argue, but Rafe took another step forward, and whatever argument he had died in his throat. He grabbed his drink from the bar, muttering something under his breath that you couldn’t quite catch before he turned and stumbled away toward the door.

Once he was gone, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

Rafe turned to you, his expression softening immediately. “You okay, baby?”

You nodded, but your hands were shaking slightly. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for stepping in.”

He stepped closer, “You shouldn’t have to deal with assholes like that.”

“I can handle it,” you replied, “But I’m glad you were here.”

Rafe’s brow furrowed slightly, his thumb tracing soft circles against the skin in your arm. “I don’t want you handling it. I don’t want you dealing with that shit at all.”

You smiled faintly, leaning into his touch. “It’s part of the job sometimes.”

“Not when I’m around, it’s not,” he said firmly, his eyes locking onto yours. 

You grinned, your fingers brushing over his collarbone as you tilted your head up to kiss him. His lips were soft against yours and when you pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.

“I’ll be fine for the rest of the night,” you whispered. “Promise.”

He exhaled softly, his arms tightening around you just a little. “I know. I just hate seeing shit like that happen to you.”

“Me too, baby.” you admitted, your fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “But at least the tips are good, right?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Only you would focus on the tips after that.”

“Gotta find the silver lining somewhere,” you teased.

Rafe chuckled, leaning down to kiss you again. This time it was deeper, and for a moment, you almost forgot you were still at work. When he pulled away, he glanced back toward the bar. “You need me to stick around?”

You shook your head. “Nah, I think your little display of alpha male behavior probably scared off any other creeps for the night.”

He smirked, looking a little too pleased with himself. “Good.”

“Go hang out with the guys,” you said, patting his chest. “I’ll see you when I’m done.”

He hesitated for a second, his hand still resting on your waist like he wasn’t ready to let go, but finally, he nodded. “Alright. But if I see him again…”

“You won’t,” you assured him. “And if you do, I’ll let you know.”

He gave you one last kiss, then reluctantly let you go and headed back toward his friends. You watched him for a moment, smiling to yourself before you turned back to the bar.

Forty minutes later, Rafe stood by the side of his truck, fingers drumming against the hood as he waited for you to finish up. He hated this place most days — hated how these old, rich assholes thought they could treat you like you were some kind of prize they could buy. It had taken everything in him not to knock that guy out earlier, but he knew you didn’t want a scene. Still, he’d been fuming ever since.

You’d be out any minute now, and the two of you would go to his house. He just needed to chill. But then, five minutes passed… then six… and a knot started to form in his stomach. You were never this late getting out, and you’d told him you’d be quick tonight.

Where the were you? He checked his phone again. Nothing.

Rafe pushed off the truck and started pacing, his eyes glancing between the front entrance and the locker room doors around the back. He knew you were still inside, but something wasn’t sitting right with him. His instincts were screaming at him now. After another minute, he couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck this.

He strode back inside and headed straight for the back hall that led to the locker room where you always changed after work. As he turned the corner, his heart stopped. There, right outside the locker room door, was the same asshole from earlier — the drunk creep who’d been hitting on you. His greasy hand was on the door, shoving it open, trying to force his way inside.

Rafe saw red.

Without thinking, he surged forward, grabbing the guy by the collar and slamming him back against the wall so hard the drywall cracked. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The guy didn’t have time to react before Rafe’s fist connected with his jaw, his head snapping back against the wall. He stumbled, eyes wide with shock as he tried to raise his hands in defense, but Rafe didn’t give him a chance.

“You thought you could get away with that shit?!” He growled as he shoved him again, pinning him hard against the wall. The guy let out a choked gasp, his face going pale as he tried to squirm out of Rafe’s grip.

“I-I wasn’t—” the guy sputtered, his words slurred from the blow.

Rafe didn’t want to hear it. He threw another punch, this one harder than the first, his knuckles splitting against the guy’s cheekbone. All he could see was you — you, behind that door, completely unaware that this piece of shit had been about to force his way in.

“Rafe!” 

He stopped his fist still clenched, inches from the guy’s face. He turned his head just enough to see you standing in the doorway, dressed in your usual jeans and a hoodie, eyes wide, like you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Baby,” you said stepping forward. “It’s okay. He’s not worth it.”

But Rafe couldn’t let it go — couldn’t let the image of this creep forcing his way into the room where you were out of his head. The thought made him sick. It made him want to tear this him apart piece by piece.

“I should fucking kill you,” Rafe spat, his voice trembling  as he pressed the guy harder against the wall.

“Please. I’m okay. He didn’t get in.”

It took every little ounce of self-control Rafe had, but he finally let the guy go, stepping back just enough for the asshole to crumple to the floor, groaning in pain.

“You come near her again, I swear to god…” He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to. The guy knew exactly what he meant.

The creep scrambled to his feet, clutching his bleeding face as he stumbled down the hallway, mumbling something that Rafe didn’t bother to listen to. His eyes were on you now, his breathing heavy as the adrenaline started to wear off.

His hands were still shaking, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, though your eyes were still wide, “I’m fine. He didn’t get in, baby. You stopped him.”

Rafe exhaled, running a hand through his hair as he tried to breathe properly. The thought of what could’ve happened if he hadn’t come inside when he did made him want to throw up. “I should’ve been here,” he muttered “I should’ve been right here with you.”

“Rafe, you can’t be with me every second,” you stepped closer to him. “You did the right thing. I’m okay. Really.”

But he wasn’t convinced. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, needing to know for sure that you were safe. His grip was tight, maybe too tight, but he couldn’t help it. “I swear to god, if he’d touched you…”

“He didn’t,” you murmured, your hands rubbing soothing circles on his back, “He's not going to."

He held you like that for a long moment, his heart still beating too fast, his mind conjuring everything that could’ve gone wrong tonight.

 “No more working late nights here.”

You pulled back slightly, raising an eyebrow. “Rafe—”

“I’m serious,” he interrupted, “This place is full of creeps, and I’m not letting you deal with that shit anymore.”

You sighed, “We’ll talk about it.”

He didn’t argue — not now, at least. But as far as he was concerned, you weren’t coming back here. Not without him.

“What the hell is going on back here?”

You both turned to see Greg, your manager, striding down the hallway. He looked between you and Rafe, his eyes landing on the dented wall and the bloodied handprint smeared across it.

“Seriously, what the hell happened?” He barked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why is there a guy running out of here with blood on his face?"

Rafe stiffened beside you.

He didn’t like Greg — never had. In his mind, he was lazy, incompetent, and more interested in playing golf with the country club regulars than actually managing anything. You opened your mouth to try to explain, but he beat you to it.

“Why don’t you fix your goddamn locks, Greg?” Rafe snapped, stepping forward, “If you weren’t so busy kissing everyone’s ass, maybe you’d realize that your employees aren’t fucking safe here.”

Greg blinked, “What are you talking about?”

Rafe pointed to the locker room door, where the knob was still hanging loosely, as if the creep had almost succeeded in breaking it off.

“Your fucking locker room door doesn’t lock. That asshole was trying to force his way in while she was changing. What the hell are you running here, man?”

Greg glanced at the door, then back at you, his face paling slightly but instead of apologizing, or even showing the slightest bit of concern, he threw his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Look, I didn’t know—”

“Yeah, because you don’t pay attention to shit!” Rafe shot back, his voice rising. “You think you can just let her and the other girls fend for themselves? Is this the kind of place you’re running?”

“Rafe,” you murmured, your hand on his arm again, trying to calm him down. “It’s fine.”

But Rafe was far from calm. His hands were shaking, and his eyes locked onto Greg. “No, it’s not fucking okay. This shit keeps happening, and it’s gonna get someone hurt.”

Greg took a step back, holding up his hands in surrender. “Look, I’ll… I’ll talk to the maintenance guys, alright? We’ll fix the lock.”

“Not good enough,” Rafe snapped, “You better fix it tonight. Because if this happens again, I’m not gonna be so nice next time.”

Greg swallowed hard, clearly shaken. “Y-Yeah. Fine. We’ll take care of it.”

Rafe scoffed, shaking his head in disgust. “You better.” 

He turned his back on Greg without another word, grabbing your hand again as he led you toward the exit. His grip was tight, and once you were outside, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. 

“Rafe,” you said softly, pulling him to a stop as you stood by the side of his truck. “It’s over. I’m okay.”

He exhaled sharply as he looked down at you. “I can’t stand that guy,” he muttered. “He doesn’t give a shit about you or anyone else working here.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in tight, his chin resting on the top of your head. For a moment, he just held you like that, the tension slowly ebbing away. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit,” he murmured against your hair.

“I know. Let’s just go home.”

Rafe looked down at you, his brow furrowing slightly, “I’m gonna get you a gun.”

"A gun?"

"Yeah," Rafe said seriously, his grip tightening on your waist. “You need to be able to protect yourself if I'm not around."

"Baby, that's... kind of extreme," you tried to make him understand, "I don’t need a gun." You placed your hand on his chest, your thumb rubbing slow circles "I know you're worried. I know you don’t want me dealing with stuff like this, but a gun isn’t the answer."

He sighed, “I just want you to be safe.”

“I know,” you nodded. “And I will be. I promise.”

He held you close for a few more seconds, his forehead resting against yours. Then, with a reluctant sigh, he nodded. “Okay. No gun. For now.”

You smiled faintly, relieved. “Thank you.”

“But if it appens again, I’ll shoot him myself.”

“Okay, James Bond, get in the car.”

[d1s1ntegrated]

hiii, 🧸 anon here!

i was wondering if you could write shig celebrating his s/o’s birthday hcs pretty please 🙏 it’s my birthday today & i lowkey just want love from him as my only gift hahah

thank youu ♡

happy birthday pretty babe! a fellow leo i see 🫶

and obv, absolutely i can!

shigaraki x reader!bday edition (some light nsfw ;) )

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ

shigaraki didn't typically care about birthdays. being raised by AFO meant that his birthday consisted of the same daily routine, trained to pretend it didn't even exist.

but after growing and living with the League for so long, he relearned the significance of them (mostly for toga, since she was so young. the older members wanted her to be happy as much as possible.)

your birthday, he learned, was today- and he was VERY ill-prepared.

he panicked and asked kurogiri to bring him out- explaining he NEEDED to spoil you

"tomura shigaraki, it would not be wise to be in public right now"

"i don't give shit. i'm getting them something."

scrambling, he consulted toga and spinner on what to get you. he got overwhelmed and ended up stealing a whole bunch of shit, unsure of what you'd want most.

he decided he was also going to try his damnedest to make you a cake.

quickly he faced the dilemma of not knowing how to bake. or cook at all for that matter.

"what's the difference between a dry and a liquid measure?? it's the same fucking thing!"

so with the help of a very clumsy twice and toga, you had a cake sitting on the bar top when you arrived. and a heaping of very poorly wrapped gifts.

shigaraki, sitting nervously on a barstool, biting his nails, gives you a very gentle and quiet "happy birthday"

there weren't a lot of words you could really muster the courage to say, so instead you kissed him and smiled.

he didn't protest it, but when you pulled away, he pointed at the pile and eagerly waited for you to open them

a headset was first- one that matched his.

"i knew you needed a new pair"

then a matching controller, plushies, and a switch game.

"you can use mine and we can play it together...if you want"

when you noticed the cake, you busted out in laughter and took a picture of it. but at that point, he couldn't wait any longer, and grabbed your hand.

"i have one more for you"

you were practically dragged into his bedroom, tossed onto his bed, and he shoved a small box into your hands.

in it was a little necklace, with a pendant with half of a controller on it.

he yanked at his shirt collar and pulled out a match, the other half of it, and nervously scratched at his neck as you put yours on.

"i love it" was the only thing you could say as you hugged him- for being so villainous, he really was a cheesy fuck sometimes.

once it was around your neck, he yanked you in by it and kissed you, tongue searching your mouth aggressively as he pushed you down into the mattress

"i lied. two more gifts" he whispered in your ear before wrapping you in his arms and rutting into you, making you see stars over and over again.

the cake was actually pretty good, too.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ

:D again, happy birthday 🧸!! (i wrote this fast so i could get it out asap for u <3)

[wands-natsthing]

Not Enough Pt2

This story was on my old acct @wandanatsthings I made a new one (aka this one) which will be the acct I use from now on.

Hey guys I'm so sorry this took so long to get out I hope you all haven’t lost interest lol. I wanted to take my time with this one because I just felt like my writing could be a lot better and I really feel like with this little one-shot or imagine or whatever you call it it has improved and I’d rather you guys wait a while for a more well written piece than to most more frequent and it be shit but anyways I hope you enjoy this I kinda just went all over the place with it so please let me know what you think. 

"Not Enough pt 1

Disclaimer: I used  “A few weeks” a lot to measure time in this but to give a little bit of an idea  it’s been a few months since Piet died (so like 5 months) and like 3 months maybe since reader and Wanda broke up. Also the age gap between Nat and Wanda is like 5 years. I cannot remember if I mentioned that or not. Okie I think that's it. 

P.S: I love it when you guys comment so if ya wanna I’d love to read them and If you have any questions about this fic like my thought process while writing please ask them!!

Warnings: Mentions past character death, grief, cheating, mentions of sex but not descriptive, angst, mental illness, break downs, lying. I think that’s please let me know if you see anymore. 

Relationships: WandaxNatasha, Wanda/ reader, platonic Bruce x Natasha, Platonic Bruce x Wanda

Summary: Not Enough Pt 2 

Word count: 4.1k (My longest fic as of rn) 

Y/N Pov

It had been a few weeks since you and Wanda broke up. You had moved all of your stuff out of your shared room into a guess not being able to stand being in there after everything that had happened.

You weren't doing well. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat, all you could think about was Wanda.

All you wanted was her. It was still hard for you to grasp. You couldn't believe she had cheated. It still just didn’t seem like something she would do. Your sweet Wanda. The one who always made sure you knew how much she loved you no matter what.

The Wanda that never let you both go to bed angry, The one that would always tell you she loved you before going to sleep, Or on the rare occasions when you left the house without one another. So to say you were distraught that she did something like this was an understatement.

Either way, you didn’t want to see her. You had been avoiding her at all costs. You were doing a good job until you saw her in the common area of the compound hanging out with Natasha.

You had mixed feelings about the woman.

Yes, she was the woman that your girlfriend had cheated on you with, but you felt there was something off.

Natasha was a bit older than Wanda, not by much, only 5 years but still, you couldn’t help but think maybe the older woman had taken advantage of Wanda’s vulnerable state.

You didn't put much thought into it though.

you decided that you were no longer interested in hanging out in the common room after spotting the couple. In a hurry, you turned and went back to your room, completely oblivious to the fact that the younger redhead had noticed you. You missed the longing and regretful look that she had in her eyes.

Wanda’s Pov

I watched you as you went back to what I assumed to be your room. Even though I was the one to break up with you. I missed you, being with Natasha was no longer making me as happy as I thought. Especially after I found out she had lied to me about what happened during the mission when Pietro died.

It was a few weeks before You and I had broken up when she approached me in the kitchen after not leaving what was our shared bedroom for days.

FLASHBACK (of Natasha telling what “Happened”)

We had just finished watching my favorite sitcom, which Pietro and I used to watch all the time. You were doing everything you could to make me feel better, and even though I might not have been showing it, you were helping. I had finally felt well enough to sit in the kitchen for a while and have a snack, which was something I had been struggling to do. So Progress was being made.

As I was eating my snack of apples and peanut butter, Natasha approached me. We didn't talk often, but we weren't strangers to each other. I was quite fond of the fellow avenger. "Hey, how are you doing?" she asked as she took a seat next to me. "I'm doing better," I replied, smiling slightly, looking up at her.

"That's good. And how are you and y/n doing?" I found it odd that she was asking about our relationship, but I answered her anyway. "Um, I mean we're okay. We could be doing better, but considering the circumstances, I'd say we're doing pretty well," I said wearily. She looked at me and nodded.

"That's good. Knowing she killed your brother and all." she claimed with what I now know to be a look of “evil” on her face. What she said shocked me.

“Wait what? What are you talking about y/n didn’t kill him? It was an accident, she told me what happened.” I replied getting defensive not liking what she was trying to accuse you of.

“Yeah, but I saw it. Whatever she told you is a lie.”

“Well, what did you see?” I asked, curious to know what she had seen.

She then goes on to tell me how she saw you and Pietro that day in the field fighting bots. For the most part, she told me the same thing you did. Until she added the part where you started fighting each other. “And then they just started fighting each other, I don’t know why. Maybe Y/n got hit in the head or something and started to think that Piet was one of the bots. He tried to knock some sense into her but it just didn’t work and eventually, she pulled out her gun and shot him. I guessed he just wasn’t quick enough to dodge it.” She revealed.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Oh my goodness, Why wouldn't she tell me that? Why would she lie?” I cried looking for some sort of answers.

“I mean I don't know, think about it. Would you want to tell your girlfriend you killed her brother?”

What she said made sense to me, I could understand why you wouldn’t tell me but that wasn’t the relationship we had created. We were always very honest with each other from the beginning no matter what the circumstances were.

Heartbroken with the new knowledge I had just learned I still had one question.

“What were you doing? Why didn’t you stop them or help? Or something?” I desperately questioned.

Natasha shuffled in her seat a little before she answered me.

“I tried but I was busy fighting and helping get civilians to safety myself.”

I nodded at that understanding her reasoning.

END FLASHBACK

After our talk that day we continued getting to know each other more and more and I was drawing myself farther and farther away from you. I did feel bad about it but not bad enough to stop. I wanted you to feel the same pain that I felt when I thought you lied about what happened.

It wasn't until a few days after we broke up that Natasha's true colors started to show.

At the beginning of our relationship, Natasha tried to make me happy in her own way, much like you did. However, while you focused on letting me know that it was okay to feel my emotions and cry, Natasha often brushed me off and tried to distract me with sex. When I declined, saying that I wasn't in the mood, she would get irritable and act off for the rest of the day.

That’s what happened the day I found out that you were telling the truth about what happened during the mission.

FLASHBACK

I was having a bad day, which was as expected every once in a while. I knew some would be harder than others, but I had been improving and not struggling with basic tasks every day, today was an exception though.

All I wanted to do was stay in bed and watch the old sitcoms Piet and I used to but Natasha wasn’t having that.

All she wanted to do was have a beep. She kept begging me all day and getting pissy every time I would say no.

I was getting tired of it so I thought as a distraction now would be a good time to finally get my mission report done for that mission.

I had been given some grace given everything that happened but I wasn’t excluded completely.

I made my way down the hall to the conference room where everyone does their mission reports or papers of the same sort.

When I got there I saw a few pens and other unfinished reports scattered on the rectangular wooden table. I was going to let them be until I saw Natasha's report sitting there among the others. Curious about what she had written, I decided to read it.

Reading other people's reports wasn't forbidden but it was considered as an invasion of privacy, so I knew I shouldn't do it but I just couldn't help myself for some reason.

While I was reading the report, I realized that some information was missing.

None of the things she had told me that day were mentioned in the report. I was sure that it wasn't because she had not finished it yet. She never left the room until it was completed, and I knew that she would never lie in a report. That only meant one thing.

she had lied to me.

I was confused as to why she would lie to me, knowing that it would break us up. I knew the only way to know the truth was to ask her. So, I left the room with her report in my hands, forgetting about my report that needed to be completed.

I headed towards the training room, knowing that's where she would be. Before I approached her, I hid her report behind my back, not wanting her to know that I had read it just yet.

When I walked in, she was bench pressing. "Hey, can we talk?" I asked with urgency. "Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a set," she said, breathing hard. "No, it needs to be now, it's important," I replied, losing my patience.

She re-racked the bar, sat up, and wiped the sweat from her face. "What's up?" I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, not wanting to cause a scene. "Can you tell me what happened that day on the mission when Piet died again?" She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "I've already told you what happened, why do you want to keep hearing it?" She asked, sounding annoyed. "Because I just want to know the truth," I replied. "Well, I already told you the truth," she answered. I nodded, "That's funny, so what would this be then?" I asked as I pulled the mission report out from behind my back.

The look on her face was priceless," I thought to myself. "Where did you find that?" she asked with a look of guilt on her face. "It doesn't matter where I found it, what matters is why you lied to me!" I cried, hitting her chest with my hands.

She gently grabbed my hands to stop my attack and took a deep breath before explaining something I never thought would be her reasoning. "I lied because I wanted to break the two of you up. You both seemed so happy, even with everything, and I wanted to experience that for myself. I wanted to feel special. And I knew that if I lied, you would believe me because people who are grieving are more likely to believe a lie than people who are not."

I was shocked by what I heard and even more so to see her crying, something I had never seen her do in the year I had been living here. Even though what she did was severely messed up, I could understand why she would do it. We had similar life experiences, and in our lifestyle, what you and I had was rare.

While I could understand, I was still very upset that she would even do something like that and that I would even believe you would lie to me. All that was on my mind at this moment was you. I had to get to you and explain everything, even if you didn’t believe me and never wanted to speak with me again. It was important to me that you knew the truth.

“I have to go,” I sobbed, taking my hands out of her embrace. “I need to explain everything to y/n.” However, that thought was short-lived.

“No, NO! Please don’t leave me,” she begged as she walked me back into a wall. “I need you. I'll do better at anything. Everything, just please don’t leave me.”

I could feel her emotions through me, and they almost became too much. It felt so weird to see her like this. One of the most powerful Avengers, who I looked up to, was begging me on her knees to stay with her. It showed how you could have everything in the world, but if you didn’t have anyone to love or be loved by, you were absolutely nothing.

Feeling for her I decide to comfort her now and talk about everything else later. “Okay, okay I'll stay, I won’t leave I promise.”

END FLASHBACK

"I had been dealing with this for a couple of weeks.

Whenever I confronted her, she would break down and plead with me not to leave her. But after seeing the sorrowful look in your eyes as you walked past the common room, I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing what happened any longer. So, I decided to talk to you. I got up, leaving Natasha sitting on the couch, and told her that I was going to the bathroom.

As I made my way to your room, I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest, and my hands were sweaty. When I arrived, I took a deep breath and knocked on your door."

Y/n Pov

I had just returned to my room when I heard a knock at my door. Even though I didn't feel like being bothered, I had to get up and answer it. To my surprise, Wanda was standing there, looking anxious. I was unsure of what she wanted, and even though I didn't particularly want to see her, it was nice to have her there. However, I didn't want to reveal that to her.

“Um, hi. What do you want?" I asked, curious about why she had come to my room. She looked down at her hands and fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit of hers that I had always found endearing. Smiling at the memory, I waited for her response. "Hi, I was wondering if we could talk?" she finally replied, her voice shaking a little. "Why now? You haven't wanted to talk all this time, what's changed?" I asked, confused by her sudden request. "I know, but I need to speak with you. If after you hear me out, you don't want to speak to me again, I completely understand. I'll leave you alone. But please, I need you to hear me out," she pleaded, taking hold of my hands.

I decided to hear her out and stepped aside to let her in. As she passed by me, I caught a whiff of her flowery perfume and took a deep breath, remembering how her scent used to linger on my pillowcases. I gestured towards the chair in the corner for her to sit while I took the end of my bed. We sat in silence for a while until she finally spoke.

Wanda’s Pov

I was lucky enough to have you let me in. Now, it was time for me to tell you everything. I was so nervous. Despite having rehearsed everything that I wanted to say, I found myself at a loss for words now that I finally had the chance to.

Eventually, I decided to recount everything that had happened from the very beginning. I started with how Natasha approached me in the kitchen, and then to describe how she treated me and how I found out that she had lied, along with the reason behind it. I was afraid to hear what you would say.

"That’s everything that happened. I know that nothing can excuse what I did to you, but I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you that day when I told you that you weren't enough. It wasn't true, and I regret believing her instead of you. I know there's probably nothing I can say to fix this, but I just need you to know that." I said with tears in my eyes.

You looked at me with an expression that I couldn’t read. What you did next surprised me though.

Y/n Pov

After hearing everything you had to say. I felt as if everything made sense. I was saddened to know that my assumption from earlier about the older woman had been mostly correct but glad to know that the woman whom I fell in love with was exactly who I thought she was. My sweet Wanda.

I got up and walked over to the chair she was sitting in and took her face in my hands. Whipping away some of the tears that had fallen from her green orbits. I looked into her eyes and said, “I forgive you.” By the look on her face, I could tell she wasn’t expecting that she quickly jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I creased her back as I felt her body shake with sobs. I continued to whisper sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down. After a few moments, she was calm enough to have a conversation and I had some questions to ask her.

“I have some questions to ask you but first I want you to know that I’m glad you told me everything and that I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. Anyone would’ve been vulnerable and confused in your situation. You did the best that you could and I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come since a few months ago and I want you to know what she did to you is not okay.” I didn’t expect a vocal reply out of her, however, I did feel her nuzzle her nose into my neck.

I continued with my little speech. “Now time for the questions,” I said while taking her chin in my hands to get her to look at me. “Did she ever force you to do anything you didn’t want to? You can just nod your head yes or no.” I asked, raising my eyebrow so she would know what I was implying. I see her shake her head at me. “Okay good, that’s good. Do you know what you want to do yet?”

She moved out of my embrace a little to sit up so she could answer. “Yes, I don’t want to be with her anymore but every time I try to have a conversation with her she breaks down like she did in the gym.” She cried. I thought for a few seconds before I answered her. “I have an idea but it’s going to be a lot, are you up for it?” She looked up at me and nodded.

Over the next few days, we talked over and over about what would be the best way to go about it. When we finally got it it was time to execute it.

Wanda’s Pov

Your plan had been brilliant, It was the best thing for everyone involved although not to get hurt but that still didn’t make this any easier. Even after everything that Natasha had done I still cared for the woman but this was the best thing for her. All I had to do was get her to Bruce and he would pretty much do the rest since you had caught him up on everything that had happened. Natasha was sitting in the kitchen drinking a protein shake when I approached her. “Hey, Tasha, I was wondering if you would come down to the lab with me. I need to grab something from Tony. He said it was something about “New and improved armor.” I asked, leaning against the counter trying to not show my nerves. “Yeah sure I'll come with you.” She answered, grabbing her protein drink off the counter to take with her.

When we got to the lab she opened the door for me. I walked in and my eyes met with Bruce. I searched his emotionless eyes with my nervous ones hoping that he could give me some kind of reassurance that this was the right thing to do.

As we walked in farther Bruce walked up to us with a blank look on his face. Natasha was the first one to speak. “Hey, Bruce. Tony said he had some new armor for Wanda?” I grabbed her hand to get her to look at me thinking I should be the one to break the news. “Um, actually Nat we’re not here for that, Bruce wanted to speak with you,” I explained gently, trying to keep her as calm as possible. “Speak to me? Speak to me about what?”

She was a little cautious about what was going on. I looked to Bruce for help, thinking he would know how to answer her better than I would. “I just want to talk, you know, checking in with how you're doing.” He answered her. “Well, I’m doing fine. I need to know what this is about and I need to know now.”

Not wanting to upset her more than I already have, I decided to just tell her. “Listen,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with accepting help. Even the strongest people fall sometimes.” She looked at me with worry in her voice and asked. “I- I what are you talking about?” “I spoke with him about what you told me in the gym and about everything,” I replied, almost holding my breath. I worried about what the outcome of this would be. “And he thinks that he has some things that can help you.” She looked at me with wide eyes before stating. “What I’m not crazy…I’m not crazy.” I quickly reassured her and said, “No one said you are not like I said it's okay to need help sometimes,” hoping that she would understand.

It seemed like she did as she took a deep breath and surprisingly agreed to hear Bruce out as long as I sat there and listened with her, I agreed to do that seeing as I did just surprise her out of nowhere with this. After we listened to Bruce talk about what would be her treatment plan. She seemed to be more comfortable with the idea.

When we were walking out of the lab she stopped. I turned around to see what was the hold up when she said something that I wasn’t expecting. “I’m sorry for what I did, Really sorry.” She said looking down at her feet. “And I want you to be happy, You deserve to be happy and I know that you aren’t that with me but you were with y/n and if you need me to explain everything to her I will but you deserve to be happy and be with someone who is just as amazing as you are.” She continued this time looking me in the eyes. I was shocked as to what I was hearing but not wanting to leave her hanging I replied. “Thank you for apologizing and I accept your apology. I do not need you to talk to Y/n but I do appreciate the gesture.” She nodded at me. “So I guess this is it?” You looked at her and gave a sad smile. “Yes it is, but I will be here if you need to talk and I want to be updated on how your treatment is going.” She smiled back at you and replied “I will keep you updated. Bye, Wanda.” “Goodbye,” I said as I walked away from her feeling sad but excited to go and see you.

When I finally found you, you were in your room reading some book that I couldn't see the name of. I ran into the room and jumped on your bed. You giggled and put the book down, then said, “I'm guessing it went well?” I nodded my head, smiling. “It went a lot better than I was expecting. Your plan worked,” I said. You looked at me, smiling, “I told you it would,” you said while scooting over to make room for me. As I was getting comfortable, I felt you staring at me. I looked up at you and asked, “What?” You blushed and replied, “Nothing, you're just really beautiful.” I surprised myself and started leaning up to kiss you. I went slow, not the perfect knowing if you were ready yet, but letting you know that I was. I soon knew that you were when I felt your lips on mine. I smiled softly as I broke away from the kiss. I then snuggled up in your arms, not certain of what we were in the moment, but sure of one thing: you are enough for me.

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Feedback is absolutely loved!!!

[wandanatsthings]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐏𝐭 𝟐

Hey guys I'm so sorry this took so long to get out I hope you all haven’t lost interest lol. I wanted to take my time with this one because I just felt like my writing could be a lot better and I really feel like with this little one-shot or imagine or whatever you call it it has improved and I’d rather you guys wait a while for a more well written piece than to most more frequent and it be shit but anyways I hope you enjoy this I kinda just went all over the place with it so please let me know what you think. 

"Not Enough pt 1

Disclaimer: I used  “A few weeks” a lot to measure time in this but to give a little bit of an idea  it’s been a few months since Piet died (so like 5 months) and like 3 months maybe since reader and Wanda broke up. Also the age gap between Nat and Wanda is like 5 years. I cannot remember if I mentioned that or not. Okie I think that's it. 

P.S: I love it when you guys comment so if ya wanna I’d love to read them and If you have any questions about this fic like my thought process while writing please ask them!!

Warnings: Mentions past character death, grief, cheating, mentions of sex but not descriptive, angst, mental illness, break downs, lying. I think that’s please let me know if you see anymore. 

Relationships: WandaxNatasha, Wanda/ reader, platonic Bruce x Natasha, Platonic Bruce x Wanda

Summary: Not Enough Pt 2 

Word count: 4.1k (My longest fic as of rn) 

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Y/N Pov

It had been a few weeks since you and Wanda broke up. You had moved all of your stuff out of your shared room into a guess not being able to stand being in there after everything that had happened.

You weren't doing well. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat, all you could think about was Wanda.

All you wanted was her. It was still hard for you to grasp. You couldn't believe she had cheated. It still just didn’t seem like something she would do. Your sweet Wanda. The one who always made sure you knew how much she loved you no matter what.

The Wanda that never let you both go to bed angry, The one that would always tell you she loved you before going to sleep, Or on the rare occasions when you left the house without one another. So to say you were distraught that she did something like this was an understatement.

Either way, you didn’t want to see her. You had been avoiding her at all costs. You were doing a good job until you saw her in the common area of the compound hanging out with Natasha.

You had mixed feelings about the woman.

Yes, she was the woman that your girlfriend had cheated on you with, but you felt there was something off.

Natasha was a bit older than Wanda, not by much, only 5 years but still, you couldn’t help but think maybe the older woman had taken advantage of Wanda’s vulnerable state.

You didn't put much thought into it though.

you decided that you were no longer interested in hanging out in the common room after spotting the couple. In a hurry, you turned and went back to your room, completely oblivious to the fact that the younger redhead had noticed you. You missed the longing and regretful look that she had in her eyes.

Wanda’s Pov

I watched you as you went back to what I assumed to be your room. Even though I was the one to break up with you. I missed you, being with Natasha was no longer making me as happy as I thought. Especially after I found out she had lied to me about what happened during the mission when Pietro died.

It was a few weeks before You and I had broken up when she approached me in the kitchen after not leaving what was our shared bedroom for days.

FLASHBACK (of Natasha telling what “Happened”)

We had just finished watching my favorite sitcom, which Pietro and I used to watch all the time. You were doing everything you could to make me feel better, and even though I might not have been showing it, you were helping. I had finally felt well enough to sit in the kitchen for a while and have a snack, which was something I had been struggling to do. So Progress was being made.

As I was eating my snack of apples and peanut butter, Natasha approached me. We didn't talk often, but we weren't strangers to each other. I was quite fond of the fellow avenger. "Hey, how are you doing?" she asked as she took a seat next to me. "I'm doing better," I replied, smiling slightly, looking up at her.

"That's good. And how are you and y/n doing?" I found it odd that she was asking about our relationship, but I answered her anyway. "Um, I mean we're okay. We could be doing better, but considering the circumstances, I'd say we're doing pretty well," I said wearily. She looked at me and nodded.

"That's good. Knowing she killed your brother and all." she claimed with what I now know to be a look of “evil” on her face. What she said shocked me.

“Wait what? What are you talking about y/n didn’t kill him? It was an accident, she told me what happened.” I replied getting defensive not liking what she was trying to accuse you of.

“Yeah, but I saw it. Whatever she told you is a lie.”

“Well, what did you see?” I asked, curious to know what she had seen.

She then goes on to tell me how she saw you and Pietro that day in the field fighting bots. For the most part, she told me the same thing you did. Until she added the part where you started fighting each other. “And then they just started fighting each other, I don’t know why. Maybe Y/n got hit in the head or something and started to think that Piet was one of the bots. He tried to knock some sense into her but it just didn’t work and eventually, she pulled out her gun and shot him. I guessed he just wasn’t quick enough to dodge it.” She revealed.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Oh my goodness, Why wouldn't she tell me that? Why would she lie?” I cried looking for some sort of answers.

“I mean I don't know, think about it. Would you want to tell your girlfriend you killed her brother?”

What she said made sense to me, I could understand why you wouldn’t tell me but that wasn’t the relationship we had created. We were always very honest with each other from the beginning no matter what the circumstances were.

Heartbroken with the new knowledge I had just learned I still had one question.

“What were you doing? Why didn’t you stop them or help? Or something?” I desperately questioned.

Natasha shuffled in her seat a little before she answered me.

“I tried but I was busy fighting and helping get civilians to safety myself.”

I nodded at that understanding her reasoning.

END FLASHBACK

After our talk that day we continued getting to know each other more and more and I was drawing myself farther and farther away from you. I did feel bad about it but not bad enough to stop. I wanted you to feel the same pain that I felt when I thought you lied about what happened.

It wasn't until a few days after we broke up that Natasha's true colors started to show.

At the beginning of our relationship, Natasha tried to make me happy in her own way, much like you did. However, while you focused on letting me know that it was okay to feel my emotions and cry, Natasha often brushed me off and tried to distract me with sex. When I declined, saying that I wasn't in the mood, she would get irritable and act off for the rest of the day.

That’s what happened the day I found out that you were telling the truth about what happened during the mission.

FLASHBACK

I was having a bad day, which was as expected every once in a while. I knew some would be harder than others, but I had been improving and not struggling with basic tasks every day, today was an exception though.

All I wanted to do was stay in bed and watch the old sitcoms Piet and I used to but Natasha wasn’t having that.

All she wanted to do was have a beep. She kept begging me all day and getting pissy every time I would say no.

I was getting tired of it so I thought as a distraction now would be a good time to finally get my mission report done for that mission.

I had been given some grace given everything that happened but I wasn’t excluded completely.

I made my way down the hall to the conference room where everyone does their mission reports or papers of the same sort.

When I got there I saw a few pens and other unfinished reports scattered on the rectangular wooden table. I was going to let them be until I saw Natasha's report sitting there among the others. Curious about what she had written, I decided to read it.

Reading other people's reports wasn't forbidden but it was considered as an invasion of privacy, so I knew I shouldn't do it but I just couldn't help myself for some reason.

While I was reading the report, I realized that some information was missing.

None of the things she had told me that day were mentioned in the report. I was sure that it wasn't because she had not finished it yet. She never left the room until it was completed, and I knew that she would never lie in a report. That only meant one thing.

she had lied to me.

I was confused as to why she would lie to me, knowing that it would break us up. I knew the only way to know the truth was to ask her. So, I left the room with her report in my hands, forgetting about my report that needed to be completed.

I headed towards the training room, knowing that's where she would be. Before I approached her, I hid her report behind my back, not wanting her to know that I had read it just yet.

When I walked in, she was bench pressing. "Hey, can we talk?" I asked with urgency. "Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a set," she said, breathing hard. "No, it needs to be now, it's important," I replied, losing my patience.

She re-racked the bar, sat up, and wiped the sweat from her face. "What's up?" I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, not wanting to cause a scene. "Can you tell me what happened that day on the mission when Piet died again?" She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "I've already told you what happened, why do you want to keep hearing it?" She asked, sounding annoyed. "Because I just want to know the truth," I replied. "Well, I already told you the truth," she answered. I nodded, "That's funny, so what would this be then?" I asked as I pulled the mission report out from behind my back.

The look on her face was priceless," I thought to myself. "Where did you find that?" she asked with a look of guilt on her face. "It doesn't matter where I found it, what matters is why you lied to me!" I cried, hitting her chest with my hands.

She gently grabbed my hands to stop my attack and took a deep breath before explaining something I never thought would be her reasoning. "I lied because I wanted to break the two of you up. You both seemed so happy, even with everything, and I wanted to experience that for myself. I wanted to feel special. And I knew that if I lied, you would believe me because people who are grieving are more likely to believe a lie than people who are not."

I was shocked by what I heard and even more so to see her crying, something I had never seen her do in the year I had been living here. Even though what she did was severely messed up, I could understand why she would do it. We had similar life experiences, and in our lifestyle, what you and I had was rare.

While I could understand, I was still very upset that she would even do something like that and that I would even believe you would lie to me. All that was on my mind at this moment was you. I had to get to you and explain everything, even if you didn’t believe me and never wanted to speak with me again. It was important to me that you knew the truth.

“I have to go,” I sobbed, taking my hands out of her embrace. “I need to explain everything to y/n.” However, that thought was short-lived.

“No, NO! Please don’t leave me,” she begged as she walked me back into a wall. “I need you. I'll do better at anything. Everything, just please don’t leave me.”

I could feel her emotions through me, and they almost became too much. It felt so weird to see her like this. One of the most powerful Avengers, who I looked up to, was begging me on her knees to stay with her. It showed how you could have everything in the world, but if you didn’t have anyone to love or be loved by, you were absolutely nothing.

Feeling for her I decide to comfort her now and talk about everything else later. “Okay, okay I'll stay, I won’t leave I promise.”

END FLASHBACK

"I had been dealing with this for a couple of weeks.

Whenever I confronted her, she would break down and plead with me not to leave her. But after seeing the sorrowful look in your eyes as you walked past the common room, I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing what happened any longer. So, I decided to talk to you. I got up, leaving Natasha sitting on the couch, and told her that I was going to the bathroom.

As I made my way to your room, I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest, and my hands were sweaty. When I arrived, I took a deep breath and knocked on your door."

Y/n Pov

I had just returned to my room when I heard a knock at my door. Even though I didn't feel like being bothered, I had to get up and answer it. To my surprise, Wanda was standing there, looking anxious. I was unsure of what she wanted, and even though I didn't particularly want to see her, it was nice to have her there. However, I didn't want to reveal that to her.

“Um, hi. What do you want?" I asked, curious about why she had come to my room. She looked down at her hands and fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit of hers that I had always found endearing. Smiling at the memory, I waited for her response. "Hi, I was wondering if we could talk?" she finally replied, her voice shaking a little. "Why now? You haven't wanted to talk all this time, what's changed?" I asked, confused by her sudden request. "I know, but I need to speak with you. If after you hear me out, you don't want to speak to me again, I completely understand. I'll leave you alone. But please, I need you to hear me out," she pleaded, taking hold of my hands.

I decided to hear her out and stepped aside to let her in. As she passed by me, I caught a whiff of her flowery perfume and took a deep breath, remembering how her scent used to linger on my pillowcases. I gestured towards the chair in the corner for her to sit while I took the end of my bed. We sat in silence for a while until she finally spoke.

Wanda’s Pov

I was lucky enough to have you let me in. Now, it was time for me to tell you everything. I was so nervous. Despite having rehearsed everything that I wanted to say, I found myself at a loss for words now that I finally had the chance to.

Eventually, I decided to recount everything that had happened from the very beginning. I started with how Natasha approached me in the kitchen, and then to describe how she treated me and how I found out that she had lied, along with the reason behind it. I was afraid to hear what you would say.

"That’s everything that happened. I know that nothing can excuse what I did to you, but I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you that day when I told you that you weren't enough. It wasn't true, and I regret believing her instead of you. I know there's probably nothing I can say to fix this, but I just need you to know that." I said with tears in my eyes.

You looked at me with an expression that I couldn’t read. What you did next surprised me though.

Y/n Pov

After hearing everything you had to say. I felt as if everything made sense. I was saddened to know that my assumption from earlier about the older woman had been mostly correct but glad to know that the woman whom I fell in love with was exactly who I thought she was. My sweet Wanda.

I got up and walked over to the chair she was sitting in and took her face in my hands. Whipping away some of the tears that had fallen from her green orbits. I looked into her eyes and said, “I forgive you.” By the look on her face, I could tell she wasn’t expecting that she quickly jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I creased her back as I felt her body shake with sobs. I continued to whisper sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down. After a few moments, she was calm enough to have a conversation and I had some questions to ask her.

“I have some questions to ask you but first I want you to know that I’m glad you told me everything and that I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. Anyone would’ve been vulnerable and confused in your situation. You did the best that you could and I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come since a few months ago and I want you to know what she did to you is not okay.” I didn’t expect a vocal reply out of her, however, I did feel her nuzzle her nose into my neck.

I continued with my little speech. “Now time for the questions,” I said while taking her chin in my hands to get her to look at me. “Did she ever force you to do anything you didn’t want to? You can just nod your head yes or no.” I asked, raising my eyebrow so she would know what I was implying. I see her shake her head at me. “Okay good, that’s good. Do you know what you want to do yet?”

She moved out of my embrace a little to sit up so she could answer. “Yes, I don’t want to be with her anymore but every time I try to have a conversation with her she breaks down like she did in the gym.” She cried. I thought for a few seconds before I answered her. “I have an idea but it’s going to be a lot, are you up for it?” She looked up at me and nodded.

Over the next few days, we talked over and over about what would be the best way to go about it. When we finally got it it was time to execute it.

Wanda’s Pov

Your plan had been brilliant, It was the best thing for everyone involved although not to get hurt but that still didn’t make this any easier. Even after everything that Natasha had done I still cared for the woman but this was the best thing for her. All I had to do was get her to Bruce and he would pretty much do the rest since you had caught him up on everything that had happened. Natasha was sitting in the kitchen drinking a protein shake when I approached her. “Hey, Tasha, I was wondering if you would come down to the lab with me. I need to grab something from Tony. He said it was something about “New and improved armor.” I asked, leaning against the counter trying to not show my nerves. “Yeah sure I'll come with you.” She answered, grabbing her protein drink off the counter to take with her.

When we got to the lab she opened the door for me. I walked in and my eyes met with Bruce. I searched his emotionless eyes with my nervous ones hoping that he could give me some kind of reassurance that this was the right thing to do.

As we walked in farther Bruce walked up to us with a blank look on his face. Natasha was the first one to speak. “Hey, Bruce. Tony said he had some new armor for Wanda?” I grabbed her hand to get her to look at me thinking I should be the one to break the news. “Um, actually Nat we’re not here for that, Bruce wanted to speak with you,” I explained gently, trying to keep her as calm as possible. “Speak to me? Speak to me about what?”

She was a little cautious about what was going on. I looked to Bruce for help, thinking he would know how to answer her better than I would. “I just want to talk, you know, checking in with how you're doing.” He answered her. “Well, I’m doing fine. I need to know what this is about and I need to know now.”

Not wanting to upset her more than I already have, I decided to just tell her. “Listen,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with accepting help. Even the strongest people fall sometimes.” She looked at me with worry in her voice and asked. “I- I what are you talking about?” “I spoke with him about what you told me in the gym and about everything,” I replied, almost holding my breath. I worried about what the outcome of this would be. “And he thinks that he has some things that can help you.” She looked at me with wide eyes before stating. “What I’m not crazy…I’m not crazy.” I quickly reassured her and said, “No one said you are not like I said it's okay to need help sometimes,” hoping that she would understand.

It seemed like she did as she took a deep breath and surprisingly agreed to hear Bruce out as long as I sat there and listened with her, I agreed to do that seeing as I did just surprise her out of nowhere with this. After we listened to Bruce talk about what would be her treatment plan. She seemed to be more comfortable with the idea.

When we were walking out of the lab she stopped. I turned around to see what was the hold up when she said something that I wasn’t expecting. “I’m sorry for what I did, Really sorry.” She said looking down at her feet. “And I want you to be happy, You deserve to be happy and I know that you aren’t that with me but you were with y/n and if you need me to explain everything to her I will but you deserve to be happy and be with someone who is just as amazing as you are.” She continued this time looking me in the eyes. I was shocked as to what I was hearing but not wanting to leave her hanging I replied. “Thank you for apologizing and I accept your apology. I do not need you to talk to Y/n but I do appreciate the gesture.” She nodded at me. “So I guess this is it?” You looked at her and gave a sad smile. “Yes it is, but I will be here if you need to talk and I want to be updated on how your treatment is going.” She smiled back at you and replied “I will keep you updated. Bye, Wanda.” “Goodbye,” I said as I walked away from her feeling sad but excited to go and see you.

When I finally found you, you were in your room reading some book that I couldn't see the name of. I ran into the room and jumped on your bed. You giggled and put the book down, then said, “I'm guessing it went well?” I nodded my head, smiling. “It went a lot better than I was expecting. Your plan worked,” I said. You looked at me, smiling, “I told you it would,” you said while scooting over to make room for me. As I was getting comfortable, I felt you staring at me. I looked up at you and asked, “What?” You blushed and replied, “Nothing, you're just really beautiful.” I surprised myself and started leaning up to kiss you. I went slow, not the perfect knowing if you were ready yet, but letting you know that I was. I soon knew that you were when I felt your lips on mine. I smiled softly as I broke away from the kiss. I then snuggled up in your arms, not certain of what we were in the moment, but sure of one thing: you are enough for me.

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Feedback absolutely loved!!!

[nrilliree]

https://www.tumblr.com/dreaming-of-the-reality/746890557891198976/rhaenyra-my-only-child?source=share

Hope you enjoy reading this...

Well anyways, I'm not defending Viserys, but you can't just expect him to not have kids or to marry a woman close to his age, I think you can count with one hand the amount of women from that century who married someone close to their age

Is the (probably) 12th century my love, at 21 women were considered dry and unmarriable

And also again, he had dementia???? And the comments just "well he didn't have enough dementia to forget about Rhaenyra" and it's like dude that's the point of dementia, they forget the newest memories and remember the oldest ones and guess what? Rhaenyra is like 18 years older than her younger siblings

Okay…Viserys was a bad father to EACH of his children and a lousy husband. Everyone knows that. We established this a long time ago. But if you're going to complain about him, people, do it with sense and truth…

Okay, I'll have some fun and detect the untruth and hypocrisy in @dreaming-of-the-reality's post

1) Viserys was not an "old creep of a man" when he married Aemma. He was five years older than her and he married her because he was ordered to do so. Just like Alicent ordered Aegon to marry 13-year-old Helaena when he was 15. Does that make him an "old creep of a man"? Viserys didn't beg his father to let him marry an 11-year-old. The king ordered, the father ordered - Viserys did it. However, his mistake, for which he is responsible, was that he listened and consummated the marriage when Aemma was 13… Right when Aegon consummated his marriage with Helaena. Where's the "fuck Aegon and Alicent" post?

2) "willing to sacrifice his wife for him" Another untruth. Yes, Viserys is a piece of shit because he ordered Aemma to be cut open without even the slightest thought of asking her opinion, giving her poppy milk - whatever. But he didn't sacrifice Aemma's life. She was dying. She and the baby would die. However, the maester said that the child has a chance to survive, Aemma does not. No matter what Viserys would do.

3) "nor paid attention to any of them while growing up" Another untruth! In the series, we see Viserys interacting with young Aegon several times (during his birthday, we see him with him three times in three different scenes), and later we see that he watched their training, knew that Aegon had tricked his nephews into bullying Aegon, and knows that Aemond believed the untruth again and was too gullible for his age. The fact that Viserys at that time no longer had fingers or an arm, was coughing up blood, could barely walk and had memory loss shows that he had little ability to take care of his children… And guess what? Alicent didn't raise her children alone. She had nannies, wet nurses and servants for this. She was a queen, not a washerwoman.

4) “Rhaenyra… my ONLY child” You know what? I really hope that people who write posts like this don't have sick people around them. Neither sick parents nor sick grandparents. Because they would probably get offended and leave, slamming the door at the first mistake of a name or forgetting a fact. My grandmother was terminally ill (it wasn't even Alzheimer's) and for a long time she thought my sister-in-law was me, and when she looked at me she had no idea who I was. And she had much better care than Viserys, who was high on poppy milk.

5) "Don't have more than one child if your not capable of loving more than one. Even better: don't force two woman to carry your children if your only going to love one…" A great plan for a king. That no one thought of it! Oh no, wait… Do you know why? Viserys had one child. Rhaenyra. In ten years, Rhaenyra dies - falls off a horse, gives birth, is poisoned… Whatever. And now the end of House Targaryen has come, because Viserys is too old and too sick to father a child, and his only heir has died.

[janners]

Green Eyes

Neteyam (17) x Human!reader (18)

warnings : childhood friends to lovers, fluff..?, slowburn ish, angsty angst, death, mental health, illness

word count : 18.7k

a/n: Another angst one after posting my fluff fic HAHA I live to write angsty shit. Originally it was going to be around like 10k but obviously that didn’t happen so it took longer than expected. The beginning is mostly about you but then it does reach Neteyam content after a bit since it's slowburnish.

_

Throughout Neteyams life, he was like his mother. Not wanting to interact with anything Skypeople related. Despite his dislike for Skypeople, there were distant memories of a certain young girl that always seemed to be stuck in the back of his mind. Most nights filled with frustration and confusion as to who you were. Sometimes dreams would show him his younger self with a faceless girl running around the village playing and picking flowers in the forest. He kept this to himself, not sure if anyone would be able to help him with this mystery.

During the passing days, Neteyam always sees his brother and sister going in the direction of the lab to see their tawtute friends. He never understood why they were so fond of the certain people they met with. Always talking highly of them when coming back from their mini adventure. Especially when Kiri talks about a girl who she is fond of most. The talk of the girl had gotten his attention from time to time wondering if it was possible that she could be the girl he has memories about. But the thought disappears in doubt, not knowing if the girl really exists.

_

When the war was over, two small children remained on Pandora with a couple scientists while the rest of the humans went back to Earth. One boy named Spider and an older girl named Y/n. Spider was the child who was quite chaotic, while you were quite the same but just a little toned down. You had a very adventurous spirit when you were younger, always curious about everything and wandering off on your own. You had also met a few Na’vi kids that you came close with before you became sick.

10 years ago

“PLEASE NORM. I want to explore the forest pleeeasse”

Being eight years old, you wanted nothing more than to explore the large forest. Everyday you would ask Norm or Max at least once hoping they would say yes. Though you’ve gotten no each and every attempt. You tried staying on your best behaviour the past couple weeks anticipating that they would say yes at some point. When you asked today, Norm didn’t have his usual straight face when he was about to reject your wants. Instead there was a small smile that made its way on his lips.

“I was just about to talk to you about that. I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to the Omatikaya clan?”

Your eyes glimmered in excitement, going into the forest was one thing but the clan? That was even better than you could’ve imagined. Jumping up and down eager to get going, you kept pushing and pulling Norm in different directions as he was collecting things to bring with him. As he finished packing his essential things, he held your hand walking to the door. He grabbed a smaller mask and crouched down to secure it one you face. He told you to wait here while he went to link with his Avatar. After a couple minutes the door opens revealing a very tall Norm. You shield your face with your arm from the bright light as you step outside for the first time. Lowering your arm slowly, your mouth gaped open seeing the forest in person.

The green looked more vibrant compared to the window view and the flora was gorgeous. Your small hand is still in the grasp of Norms large blue hand while walking down a certain path towards the village. Lifting your head up, you see syaksyuk swinging from tree to tree as some peer down at your figures in curiosity. Continuing along the path you also spot a few yerik grazing on the grass and small plants around them. Getting closer and closer you hear sounds of chatter. Norm greeted a warrior who was at the village borders before entering the village. You lean closer into Norm, not used to the stares from the clan members. You reach a large tent, much larger than the others. Walking in you spot a family, you quickly noticed Jake who waved to the both of you. Jake comes to visit the lab every once in a while to check on everyone. Everytime he came, you would be ready to give him a new trinket you made.

You waved back with a shy smile as you still hid behind Norm. Norm stepped to the side and pushed his hand gently against your back to introduce yourself to the rest. Jake quickly told the kids to greet you as well. You look to Norm to make sure it was okay to go ahead, he gave you a curt nod telling that it was okay. As he walked away to talk with Jake and Neytiri, the tall kids walked to you with caution. They walk circles around you, studying your strange features and the device on your face. Two of them approached and grabbed your hands observing them before comparing them to their own hands. Their eyes held amazement as they were the same. The third child only watched from a distance, still wary of your presence. They started talking in Na’vi, you couldn’t understand all of it but picked up a few words from it. Norm started teaching not too long ago, but you were a quick learner.

The two were asking their mother a question, something along the lines of “forest…take her?”

Neytiri looked at you with sceptical eyes as she still wasn’t very fond of Norm either, but seeing as you were much smaller compared to them she thought it would be okay just once. She gave them a brief nod, they squealed in excitement as they held your hands dragging you out of the tent.

Not really sure what to do, you just went along. It seemed as though they were taking you to the forest but a different area. Trailing behind you was the other child, he kept a close eye on you not sure if you were harmless to them. As he watched your movements, he also caught the glimpse of wonder in your eyes. Coming to a stop, you look around observing your surroundings. It was a small clear area that was surrounded by large trees and plants. Right in the middle was a pond with small fish swimming around. Your smile at them showing all your teeth while your eyes were wide with curiosity. The smaller boy talked in broken English, mixed with some simple Na’vi words.

“My tstxo is Lo’ak and this Kiri.”

He then pointed towards his older brother. “Tsmukan, Neteyam”

You smile in delight knowing all their names, you then try your newly learned N’avi to introduce yourself. You point to yourself.

“Oe y/n”

Neteyam tilted his head by the odd Na’vi attempt. He turned to Lo’ak speaking fluently.

“fo nìNa'vi plltxe nìfya'o a hek” (They speak Na’vi strangely)

Confused by what he said, you turn to Lo’ak to see if he might translate. But he was looking at his brother as if he was dumb.

“po poltxe nìlaw letam natawtute” (She spoke clearly enough as Skyperson)

Neteyam stuck his tongue out at him while Lo’ak mocked him back. A small giggle left your mouth watching the funny scene. Kiri had come closer to you, saying in broken english that you spoke decent Na’vi for a tawtute. You took it as a compliment as you were working hard to become fluent someday. After introducing yourselves, Lo’ak suggested that they all play tag, something he learned from his father. You agree in joy, never having the chance to play tag with this many before. Normally you only really play with Spider, he’s probably bored at the lab right now. Lo’ak was it, he started counting down from 10 to give everyone a head start. You followed Neteyam as you weren’t familiar with the forest. You all heard Lo’ak yell his heart out ready to capture you all. Hours passed as you all continued playing, Lo’ak captured you multiple times since you were much slower compared to them all.

Eventually the day had to come to an end. Norm and Jake called for all of you to come back to the village to say goodbye. You all had bonded quite well for the first time meeting. Jake and Norm watched as they all looked a little sad to be parting ways. They give each other a look before they sigh in unison. Jake bent down to meet their eye levels,

“How do you feel if Y/n visits 3 days a week?”

All four of them yelled yes multiple times. Jake gave Norm a look of confirmation, Norm looked at you for a second seeing you give him puppy dog eyes. He exhaled through his nose while pursing his lips while giving both you and Jake a nod. You threw your hands up in exhilaration. You give each of the sully kids a hug before heading back to the lab. Reaching the edge of the village line, you look back once more, giving the biggest wave with both hands to the Sullys. Reaching the lab, you went to Spider’s room to tell him everything about the outside world. He wasn’t quite old enough yet to go out so telling him would cheer him up about you going. As days pass, you continue visiting the Sullys to play and hangout. The one day you went out, you felt a bit tired before heading outside. You waved it off thinking it would go away. As you walked towards the spot you guys claimed, the journey had you heaving. You weren’t sure why you were having such trouble breathing. You ignored it once more thinking it wasn’t a huge deal. Stepping into the area, you see Lo’ak, Kiri, and Neteyam talking as they wait for you.

Greeting them with a scare, they tackled you into a hug. Laughing in joy, you completely forgot about the pain residing in your body. All of you decided to play tag once again, never getting sick of the game. Neteyam was it this time. Giving you all a head start, you guys sprint away not wanting to get caught. As you were running the pain returned but doubled, you fell to your knees coughing violently. Hands digging into the Earth, gasping for air as you kept coughing. One last hard cough came from your trembling body. Tears of pain were running down your flushed cheeks. You look down slightly to the glass of your mask. Red liquid drips from right in front of your mouth. Blood? Panic set into your system from the sight of your blood. Your vision begins to blur as you struggle to breathe. From a distance you hear yelling, you weren’t sure who. Just before you could think of who it may be, you went unconscious.

_

You’re 18 now. That day you first passed out was the last time you ever went outside. You were bedridden for a while before being able to walk around again. The tests that Norm ran never helped. It seemed that your immune system was too weak for the Pandora atmosphere causing you to develop a deadly disease. It wasn’t contagious much to everyone's relief but you being the only one having it had them numb. A mere 8 year old getting an unknown disease.

Since that day, the only rule that was set against you was, “No going outside” which made you upset. Everyday you look out your window, gazing at the forest with sorrow in your eyes. Though instead of moping around all day, at age 12 you started watching a woman's logs. Her name was Grace, the way she talked about Pandora and everything about it made you want to continue her studies. Norm continued to help you with Na’vi speaking, while you started studying more about the life of Pandora and the science behind it. It wasn’t until about you were 14 that Lo’ak and Kiri started coming to the lab. When you saw them for the first time in years, you ran into their arms with zero hesitation. They even started bringing their younger sister along, and she was a very energetic child. Spider was also old enough to go out himself and join the Sully kids. You were envious of him, but you didn’t let it ruin your sibling relationship with him. Everyday when he returned, he would tell you everything he saw and did. Even told you about new plants and flora he discovered to add into your studies.

The one thing you always wondered was why Neteyam never came by. Lo’ak told you that he began training a lot due to being the eldest. Although you understood, you missed him. When you first met him you knew he was wary of you, but a close bond formed after he knew you were good. You were the closest with him before you had your problem appear. But after 10 years of not seeing him, he eventually became a distant memory to sometimes look back on. Lo’ak and Kiri continued to grow, as well as you. Unfortunately your condition grew with you, being more sick than you usually were.

_

Waking up was difficult these days, all you wanted to do was stay in bed and gaze out the window. The only thing keeping you going is the work you dedicated yourself to. Getting up, you slip on your slippers heading to your work space. Your hair was like a nest, bags under your eyes, back hunched over. You grab your lab coat and throw it over your shoulder while grabbing coffee. You walk to Norm and give him a quick good morning before settling into your chair. Just as you relaxed, the sound of large footsteps echoed. You spun your chair to face the sound. Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak came in waving towards you. As you wave back, you spin back around to start your studies. Kiri appeared beside your desk peering down onto your work.

“You should take a break, you know. I don’t want you getting more sick from overworking yourself”

You lift your head to meet Kiris face. Giving her a gentle smile, you lift up one of your pages showing it to her. Your voice was raspy from it being constantly sore due to coughing and heaving throughout the days.

“I wish I could but this work isn’t going to help itself. Plus working keeps me at ease, you should know that Kiri”

Chuckling softly as you watch her expression go from concern to a really? look. Just as you were about to ask something, Tuk tugged on your arm. You bring your other arm up to pat her head.

“Hey Tuk how’ve you been?”

Tuk had a wide smile displayed on her face.

“I’ve been good! How about you lefpom?”

Lefpom, a nickname she gave you because you always seemed happy around her. Your hand touched hers as you answered that you’ve been good as well. You tell her to go find Spider and scare him with Lo’ak. She nods while having a cheeky grin plastered on her face. As she went out of earshot you turned back to Kiri with a tired look. A minute of silence before you started to talk again quietly.

“It’s been getting worse Kiri…”

Kiri was the only one who knew about your worsening condition, not even Norm. You could tell by her face that she was upset. Throughout the tough years, Kiri really was the only one you could trust with these details. If Lo’ak found out or Norm, you would not hear the end of it.

“What happened in your study for this condition? I thought you were getting close?”

There was a small strain in her voice as she spoke. You could only sigh while you hang your head low.

“I gave up on that months ago. Nothing worked Kiri, it’s all a waste.”

You hand rubbing your forehead in exhaustion, you push the papers towards Kiri. All of them had big red X’s across them indicating each failed attempt. Kiri knelt down to reach your level, she gently put her head against your arm. You rest your head on top of hers to comfort her. You whisper softly.

“It’ll be fine. I’m still here and alive, that’s all that matters as of right now.”

You tried hard to suppress your tears, not wanting Lo’ak and Tuk see you in such a vulnerable state. You hear footsteps nearing once more, you quickly wipe the loose tears and give Kiri one last hug before they all head out leaving you behind once more. You wave them all off telling them to be careful, while Lo’ak remarks “yes mother” in the most sarcastic tone. Rolling your eyes, you say bye nice and loud as you shut the door. You slowly bring your hand back in your lap looking through the window as you watch them disappear in the forest. You wish you could join them, but going outside would be too risky in your current condition. Huffing in frustration, you wander around the lab a bit to get your mind going and distracted. Going into a specific room, you slowly approach the floating Avatar, which was Graces. Right behind hers was yours. You drag your feet to reach your Avatar. It was only last year that Norm surprised you with it, but not once have you used it. Afraid that you’d get used to it too much to the point you’d forget that you have this life sucking disease. Afraid that you would get too attached, and then ending up dead within only a few short years.

Hand gently touches the glass as you study the face of your Avatar. You were too focused not noticing Norm enter the room. He watched as a dull look washes over your face when studying your Avatar. Norm gifted the Avatar to you so that you would be able to go out again. But you were too worried about your condition and decided against it even though you were grateful for the Avatar.  He could only feel horrible for not being able to figure out this disease, he knew how much you wanted to experience the forest once more. He knocked on the side of the wall to grab your attention. Snapping out of your daydreaming, you turn your head seeing Norm leaning against the doorframe.

“I made some food, come eat”

You nod, glancing back once more to your floating Avatar before following after Norm.

_

Kiri, Lo’ak, Tuk and Spider all walk towards the village. Kiri thought long and hard about how she could possibly help you. She knows you said not to tell anyone, but the idea of telling her grandmother could really assist you. Lo’ak noticed Kiri’s furrowed expression, and slightly bumped her with his hip to snap her out of her deep thinking. Kiri blinked, turning her head to Lo’ak with a questionable look.

“You’ve looked like that since we left the lab. Did something happen?”

“No nothing, just some things running through my mind.”

Lo’ak looked unsure with her reply but carried on. They reached the village, Tuk ran around straight away joining her friends. Spider stayed by Lo’aks side as they head to the training grounds to fuck around with the weapons. As for Kiri, she went to the healing tent to talk with her grandmother. She opened the flap seeing Mo’at sitting grinding herbs. She takes a seat infront of her waiting till Mo’at speaks first.

“Kiri, is there something you need?”

Kiri shifts a little closer, leaning forward talking in a lowered voice.

“Is there a possible way you could join me at the lab at some point tomorrow?”

Mo’ats movements stop, lifting her head with a strange expression taking over her face.

“Why should I step foot there?”

She hesitated with her next words, trying to word it properly. Still unsure if she wanted to reveal your current situation to someone. Kiri pondered for a minute before blurting out what she needed to say.

“I have a friend who has an unknown disease and her condition is worsening by the day. I’m not sure if you remember her, her name is y/n?”

Mo’at eyes widened at the name. It has been a while since she last saw you, a mere child. She knew you were a good child, and hearing an unknown disease being uncovered made her worried.

“Is she not able to come to the village, she did when she was a child?”

“The disease is the reason why she cannot come out here. Her system is too weak for the environment here” Kiri sighed

Mo’at was deciding if going would benefit both. She did not want a disease to grab a clan member and not know how to treat it. Nor did she want you to suffer. After thinking for a little while, she decided to join Kiri on her next trip to the lab, which happens to be tomorrow. Kiri thanked her, grateful that you might finally get the help you need. One thing neither of them noticed was the presence of a certain older brother lurking outside of the tent.

Neteyam had gotten hurt at the shooting range due to Lo’aks antics with Spider. The arrow had grazed his arm causing a bit of blood to drip down his arm. He wasn’t sure why he put up with Lo’aks skxawng ass. Trudging to the tent to get paste for the cut, he paused hearing chatter going on inside. Normally he doesn’t eavesdrop but Kiri’s voice caught his attention. Ears picking up the words, disease, friend, y/n…? That name felt familiar to him, he just couldn’t remember from where. He leans in closer hearing his grandmother saying that she will accompany Kiri to the lab. He never expected her to step on tawtute grounds, it must be serious if she was leaving the village to see a mere human.  Waiting another minute to see if the conversation was over before entering the tent. Giving a small greeting to Mo’at, he goes to sit in front of Kiri showing his cut. Kiri mumbled Lo’ak? and he could only nod with a huff.

He contemplates on bringing up their topic from earlier, wanting to come along on the trip out of curiosity. Fiddling with his fingers he decided to just say what he wanted to say.

“Can I accompany you both to the lab?”

Both Kiri and Mo’at paused looking up at Neteyam in unison. They make eye contact before looking at Neteyam once more. Kiri spoke up first.

“Why”

“I was curious about who you were talking about, this y/n girl. It sounds familiar.”

Her brows furrowed and eyes squinted at Neteyams words. He didn’t remember you? She thought it was odd seeing as you two were the closest when you were younger. Though it made sense a little bit knowing you haven’t seen each other in years. She looked to Mo’at to see if she cared. She only tilted her head making the decision for Kiri to decide. Pursing her lips, she said okay as she patched the rest of his cut up. Kiri wasn’t fully sure if his presence would be a good idea considering how long it’s been since you last saw him, but it could be good too. Neteyam gave her a quick thanks, standing up to exit the tent.

Neteyam was in deep thought as he headed back to the family tent. He didn’t know why the name y/n sounded so familiar. Lately due to his intense training, it’s like he can’t remember much from his childhood and it was frustrating. One thing that frustrated him most was the constant appearance of a girl in his mind.

_

You didn’t get a wink of sleep, the pain in your body kept you up all night. You roll to lay on your back, staring at the ceiling with a tired expression. Ever since this disease surfaced you always had pessimistic thoughts. Not having much hope in curing whatever you had, accepting the chance of possible death. There were still times you coughed up blood, mostly on days you hurt most. Those days were like hell, it felt as if your skin was on fire, lungs constricted, barely being able to move your own body. It would last for hours until it finally settled. Sighing, you sit up, groaning in ache as you stretch your limbs slightly. Walking over to your cabinet, you open it to reveal a variety of painkillers and cold patches. Grabbing the strongest one, you pop two in your mouth and washing it down with your day old water. Then grabbing a few cold patches and placing it on the back of your neck, multiple areas on your back, and your shoulders.

You drag your body to Grace's old working area, you turn on her logs to watch through again for the thousandth time. You could never get bored of her logs, you could watch them forever if you could. Minutes pass before a knock catches your attention, you turn to see Kiri with a nervous smile. You give her a confused look, normally she’d come right up and greet you. Kiri claps her hands together, she avoids eye contact with you as she speaks in a quiet tone.

“I know you told me not to tell anyone but I had an idea about asking my grandmother to see if she could figure out what your condition was-”

You interrupted her with a sharp whisper.

“What?!”

“I know! I know! But I just had to, she is Tsahik and she is better than these machines.”

Burying your face in your hands as you groan softly. You pinch the bridge of your nose not knowing how to react to this situation right now. You asked if anyone else knew, but telling from her face you couldn’t help but sigh.

“I swear I only told her but apparently Neteyam overheard our talking”

“Neteyam…? He’s here?” Eyes blown wide. You haven’t heard that name in forever. Kiri slowly nods her head a little worried about how you’d react. But instead she got a worried expression.

“I’m not sure about this Kiri. What if it turns out to be worse than I thought it was. What if-” Your voice cracked. “What if we can’t get rid of it? What do we do then? Plus I’m not sure I really want Neteyam seeing me like this for the first time in years”

Kiri finally walks over to you, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, my grandmother will help you I promise. As for Neteyam, I don’t think you should be worrying too much about him right now” Giving you a small smile.

Taking in a deep breath before exhaling, you give her a small nod. Her smile widens, she helps you up from the chair, making sure you stand properly. You appreciate her efforts in helping you, you felt lucky to have someone like her in your life. You stop her for a second to turn off the computer, she glanced at what you were doing before you shut it off. You started walking out of the room, heading towards where the other two Na’vi were waiting.

“You were watching my moms logs again?”

“Never get tired of em, you should know that” You give her a small bump with your hip teasingly.

Finally entering the room, you were nervous. You saw the backs of two familiar Na’vi. The first to turn was Mo’at, who gave you a concerned look as she took in your appearance. Then there was Neteyam, his face looked stunned yet confused. Did he not remember you? Turning back to Mo’at, you give her a small greeting.

“It’s been a while Tsahik”

She gave you a curt nod while waving her hand to signal you to come over. Mo’at glances at Kiri and Neteyam, telling them to wait in the other room as she studies your current state. Kiri gave you one last look of encouragement before dragging Neteyam with her as he tried hard to study your features. Something about you felt familiar to him, it was on the tip of his tongue.

You watch as they leave, turning back to Mo’at to start her observations. She sat you down on one of the near chairs, looking around your body to spot any abnormalities. After that she started doing some Tsahik practices on you to determine your health and damage that had been done. Mo’at had a concentrated face that did not falter throughout the practices. After a long hour or so, Mo’at stood up straight, huffing air out her nose. Another concerned look falls over her face, that makes you feel nauseous. Mo’at looks straight into your eyes, talking to you with a gentle voice.

“This sickness has done much permanent damage. I cannot do much about the current damage. I can give you herbs and medicine to help slow the process down of the disease but it’s possible that, that is all I can do for you. Your life span may be much shorter than expected.”

The world froze as those words left her lips. You had gone completely numb not knowing how to react to that news. You knew that this would’ve been a possibility but never did you think you would hear it. Body still in shock, Mo’at sighed and gave you a soft touch to your shoulder before leaving to the other room to give you some time. Knees slowly bending, your hand on the chair for support as your legs make contact with the cold floor. Your back hunches over as you try to process the words you received from Mo’at. A small drop of liquid crashes into the floor. Your hand comes up to your face feeling something wet on your cheeks. Tears. You were numb yet tears were running down your face. The painkillers had slightly worn off, the pain in your body slowly returning. I’m really going to die aren’t I? You chuckle bitterly at the thought before you finally start breaking down. Hand over your mouth to suppress your cries and heavy breathing. The other hand gripping your shirt tightly while hitting it against your chest. What about Norm? The Sullys? Spider? Graces studies? Your thoughts scrambling through your mind as you sob on the hard floor.

As you were crying, in the other room Kiri was worried deeply about how you were doing. She wasn’t sure if she should ask her grandmother about what happened as she walked in. Mo’at did not mention a single thing from the situation. Neteyam was still in deep thought wondering who you were and why you were so important to his siblings. Mo’at happened to notice an unfamiliar Avatar near Graces.

“Kiri, whose Avatar is that?”

Kiri stopped her pacing, ears perking at the mention of an Avatar. That had also caught Neteyams attention.

“It’s y/n’s”

A long silence filled the room. Mo’at felt perplexed about your Avatar, not knowing why she hasn’t seen you use it. Kiri saw her expression, but thought it was best to not say anything. Turning to Neteyam, Kiri saw him still in deep thought about you. She walked up to him and gave him a small tap on the shoulder pulling him from his thoughts. She tilts her head to the corner of the room wanting to talk with him. Kiri sat in the corner as Neteyam took the spot next to her. She twists her head to face him.

“Do you really not remember who y/n is?”

He could only sigh as he shook his head.

“Hm, remember when we were younger, there was a little girl who came to the village with Norm? That girl was y/n, one of our closest friends when we were children. Though, I understand your frustration, we didn’t see her until about 4 years ago. While you haven’t seen her in like 10 years. When we first saw her it was shocking to see her again.”

The moment Kiri mentioned a young girl who came to the village years back, gears started turning in his head. You must’ve been the girl he’s been seeing in his dreams and in his memories. He started thinking a little harder, more memories started flooding in, your face isn’t blurred anymore. Although you were just kids, you still looked like you.

“It really was her”

Kiri gave him a small smile while humming. She looks at the door hoping you would come out soon.

“The first time I see her in forever, and she’s sick.”

She rubs his back as her lips tightened. “It isn’t your fault, you’ve been busy with training. Especially since dad won’t give you a break”

The corner of her lips slightly raised. They sat in silence for a little longer until a creaking sound emerged. They all looked up at you, you had a smile on your face.

“Sorry for taking so long. I just had to gather my thoughts together.”

Your voice is quiet and raspy. Eyes with light red hues from the raw tears that were shed. Kiri had stood up swiftly, striding towards and giving you a crushing hug. You slowly wrap your hands around her, giving her a tight squeeze as if it was the last time you were going to hug her. Exhaling a long breath of air as your head rested on Kiri’s chest.

Neteyam could tell something was wrong as you and Kiri shared a long embrace. He noticed the slight falter in your expression when Kiri hugged you and the redness around your eyes and nose. Staying put in his spot, waiting until the quiet moment to end. Mo’at could only look at you with curious eyes when you entered with a smile moulding your face. A long minute passed before you pulled away from the hug. You look at Kiri, eyes forming into crescents as you give her a reassuring look. You didn’t want to lie to her, but it was best if you kept your permanent condition to yourself. You grab her hand gently.

“I am okay… Tsahik said that’d it’d all be okay. There are herbs that she can give me to help me through this horrible disease.”

Mo’at turned to you, eyes widening slightly to your words. Kiri looked at you with relief washing over her face then to exuberance. She grabbed your shoulders asking if you were absolutely serious, you could only nod your head with a half smile. Neteyam watched as Kiri looked overjoyed at the news. He too felt relieved but felt as if something was off with you. He would’ve thought that you would be just as joyous as Kiri but you only seem to give half the energy. But he didn’t look too into it especially since he hasn’t talked to you in 10 years and both of you changed a lot. Kiri waved him over to join in the happyfest of your healing. He felt a little awkward about joining in, he wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with him coming near you. Neteyam walks stiffly to your figures giving you both delicate pats on the shoulders. His eyes land on you, staring a bit longer than he should have. Studying your features, your cheekbones more visible, dark bags under your eyes, a paler complexion overall. Your head turned to meet his gaze. His focused face faltered into an awkward smile, not really knowing how to face you properly. Giving an awkward smile back, you gave him a small wave with your free hand.

_

The three of them eventually left you by yourself once again. Walking over to your room, you reach your bed and fall back onto the mattress. A long sigh left your lips, you moved to lay on your side to face the window. Gazing out, watching the wind blow through the plants, a small thought popped into your head. You said to yourself that you’d avoid using your Avatar but after hearing the news, maybe it was time to test it out. Kind of like a fuck it thought. Watching the outside world, eyes slowly closing shut, drowsiness finally catching up with you despite your pain. Your eyes opened once more, instead of your room being in your line of vision it was the forest. Looking around you were confused. It wasn’t until you finally breathed in, noticing that you didn’t have a mask. No pain was present either, just you and the forest completely healthy.

Taking small steps into the forest, admiring the plants all around you and the smaller animals. Minutes pass as you continue to appreciate the environment, before stumbling upon a small open area surrounded by the trees. A smaller tree that looked similar to a willow tree that used to be seen on Earth in the books you’ve read on Earth plants. It had beautiful green and brown colourations all over.  Slowly approaching the tree, you duck under the hanging leaves to reach the trunk of the tree. There was a soft patch of grass surrounding the base, you crouched down to sit comfortably against the wood. Relaxing your back as it made contact with the rough bark, hands wisping through the grass feeling the softness. You took a long breath in through your nose, closing your eyes as you exhaled. So this is what it felt like when I was younger.

Though you didn’t understand why you were here, you took the chance to soak up everything you can. Time passes as you stay in a peaceful state under the leaves. There was a sudden twinge in your chest, throat feeling dry. Next thing you knew you couldn’t breathe, gripping the grass in panic. Your eyes opened to find yourself in your room once more accompanied with a strong coughing fit. Hands grasping your sheets as you keep coughing. The last cough finally came out, liquid dripping down your chin. Sheets stained in splatters of bright red. Eyes moistening, hands releasing the sheets as your cheeks became wet. Crying for the second time today, it felt much worse this time. Frustration building up in your system as you wept, the urge to scream as if it would get rid of all your problems. And you did. The screaming led to you throwing your pillows across the room. Hitting objects, making things fall and clatter against the hard ground. You got up striding towards your small desk filled with info about plants. Grabbing them all with a tight fist, crumbling them in your grasp. You throw them all over the place, ripping a few as hot tears flushed your face. It felt long, in reality your breakdown lasted only a few short minutes. Sitting on the floor on your knees, chest rising up and down at a fast pace as you try to calm yourself. Dried up tears staining your cheeks, nose stuffy, dried blood on your lips and chin.

_

Early in the morning Norm went into the linking pod to start his day. He did his things in his Avatar form throughout the day. Went to the village to discuss some matters to Jake, came back to the lab area to finish any other chores. One thing he did notice though was three figures leaving the lab. He noticed Mo’at the most, not knowing why she came all the way here. It took him some time to realise what it may be about. He didn’t worry too much, especially seeing Kiri’s face which seemed to radiate happiness. Going on with his day, he couldn’t help but feel a hint of worry. Possible parent instincts? Who knew, but Norm just felt something was off. Another hour passed while the feeling was biting at him, he gave in and went to the Avatars tent to unlink. Unlinking, he lifted the pod lid, stretching his stiff limbs. Just as he steps out, he hears objects crashing in the direction of your room.

Norm ran towards your room, worried that something bad may have happened to you. Just as he reached your door, the clattering sounds went silent. Opening the door in a hurry, his eyes shifted all over. There were blood splatters on your bed and some on the floor. Papers and your belongings scattered everywhere. Some glass that had been shattered from a few of your things hitting each other. Eyes finally landing on the small figure on the cold floor. Face apathetic, dried blood staining your lower face, red eyes. Rushing to your body, not caring if your things were the way. Crouching down, grabbing your shoulders gently as he examines your face and body. A small sense of relief came as he noticed you weren’t hurt on the outside but extremely worried about the blood that came from inside. Without saying a word, he brought your body into his, embracing you into a warm hug. At times like these, you felt as if you were a child again. The hug made you breakdown once more, burying your face deeper into his chest. Norm had always felt like a parental figure to you. Him hugging you in times like these was something you really needed.

He continued keeping you in his hold, gently caressing the back of your head. Your crying never settled, tears constantly flowing down your face. All the years of pent up emotions, all coming out today. Norm couldn’t help but shed tears himself, seeing you in such a state made his heart hurt. An hour passed, both still stuck in the embrace. Sobs turned into sniffles and heavy breathing. Norm spoke in the softest tone he could.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

In return he got a head shake against his chest. His lips pursed while releasing a sigh. He rubs your back as he rests his head on top of yours.

“How about I get some food ready for you. Does that sound good? Get you cleaned up too?”

Feeling a light nod, he pulls away looking at your face. His expression is full of sombre as he looks at your fallen look. Helping you stand up, he assists you to the bathroom before leaving to cook some food.  You look into the mirror, a reflection of a person you don’t recognise. Tired eyes, sunken cheeks, pale skin, looking down to your hands, small cuts decorating them from the papers and glass. A quiet sigh left your body, slowly taking off your clothes and turning the shower on. Waiting for steam to be visible in the bathroom before touching the water. As the water cascaded down your body, the blood and tears were slowly disappearing. You sat down on the shower floor, letting the water hit against your skin, basking in the heat of the water. The steam made it a little hard to breathe but the steam was calming as well. The steam was like a safety blanket covering your frame. You lift your head to face the water, letting it gently hit your face. All you did was stay in the water, feeling too weak to use the products to fully clean yourself.

Minutes passed before you turned the shower off. Stepping out, the room filled with foggy steam. You grab the towel to wrap yourself in. Peeking out the door you see a pile of neatly folded clothes on the floor in front of the door. Norm must’ve finished the food and cleaned your room a bit. Grabbing the clothes, you take your time getting changed. You looked around your room, there were still bits and pieces on the ground but the majority had been put away. Dragging your feet to where Norm was, you see him patiently waiting for you to arrive. Your steps alerted him and he looked up to see you all cleaned up. He waves you over to sit and eat the bland looking eggs and toast on the plate. Feet pattering as you walk to the chair, pulling it out and taking a seat. You peer down at the plate, gently grasping the fork sitting beside it. Slowly eating the food in front of you, Norm had thoughts running through his head. He knew that your breakdown had something to do with your condition. The only thing that confused him was the look on Kiri’s face. If she was so happy after leaving then why were you acting the complete opposite. As you finished eating, Norm quickly gathered the plate and fork, putting them away in the sink before sitting back in front of you. His hand was gently placed on top of yours to show his support.

“I know earlier you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but I’m here to talk to, okay? Don’t hesitate to tell me anything.”

“I know…”

Finally talking, your voice hoarse and quiet from today's events. You both stand, Norm pulling you into another hug as he pats your head. The rest of the day you spent in bed, looking out the window. Taking pills ahead of time, the pain was at ease for now. It had started raining, the soothing taps against the glass slowly pulled you to sleep.

_

You had woken up to pain once more, but this time it didn’t bother you as much since you had a mission. Waking up earlier than Norm, you quietly wait for his presence so you could ask him a very important question. The nerves in your system couldn’t settle, overpowering the pain in your chest. Minutes passed before you heard footsteps nearing, turning your head you see a tired Norm. His eyes widened a bit as he saw you up and early.

“y/n? Whatcha doing up early? You’re usually not up at this time”

Unconsciously picking at your skin, you avert your eyes not ready for how he’ll react.

“I was uh, I was thinking it was time to take my… Avatar out…”

His brows furrowed but quickly changed into an excited expression. He strides towards your small figure, grabbing your shoulders gently and dragging you to the linking pods. Your first initial reaction was pure confusion, your face was all scrunched up. But then your eyes were wide open like saucers seeing the linking pods come into your view of vision. Norm turns you around to face you once more.

“Are you absolutely sure about this?”

Giving him a firm nod, he guides you to one of the pods. You watch as other people start getting things prepared, a few a little surprised at your sudden appearance in this room. Norm quickly set up one of the pods for you to lay in. As he was setting up he gave you some tips for when you end up linking to your Avatar. Seconds passed before Norm was dragging you again. He patted the open pod, you hopped on, swinging your legs up with you.

“Just remember to relax, and keep a clear mind.”

You give him a crooked smile as you nod your head briefly. Slowly lying down, Norm brought down the top, before closing it completely he gave you one last smile and thumbs up. As it closes, you close your eyes trying to make your mind go blank. In a second, your eyes opened once more, bright lights blinding you. Muffled sounds coming from around you. The first thing you really noticed was the lack of pain present. Adjusting to the light, you see scientists surrounding you. They were checking your hearing and your eyes. They asked if you were feeling okay, replying with a curt nod. Minutes passed as they continued to test your motor functions. All you could focus on was how light your entire body felt. For once your body feels relaxed and not tense 24/7. They gave you a change of clothes, a simple tank top and some shorts. Getting changed, you were beyond excited but also nauseous. It would be the first time going outside in forever. These thoughts completely made you forget about your other body.

You walked to the door that led to the outside world. Your hand reached for the latch but you hesitated. Worried that something bad would happen just like when you were younger. You took a deep breath in before exhaling from your nose. Gripping the handle, you open the door wide open. Bright lights blinded your eyes once more, but quickly adjusted just to see the vibrant outdoors. A wide smile graced your face, not believing that this moment finally came. Your eyes moved everywhere trying to take in the entire view. Then your eyes landed on an Avatar Norm who was walking towards you with some weird looking fruit in his hand. As he got closer he tossed you the fruit, catching off guard as you barely caught it.

You bite into the juicy fruit, a wave of new flavours hit you making you eat more of the fruit. Norm was chuckled at your reaction to the fruit. He pats your shoulder, tilting his head as he wants to show you more of the place. As you walk around, Norm shows you the different areas for the Avatars. The terrain was rough, especially when you opted out of shoes. You wanted the full experience of this body, something you weren’t able to do inside. Norm came to a full stop, making you bump into his back. You step back rubbing your nose, just as you were about to tell Norm off your voice got stuck in your throat. The forest was right in front of you. The vibrant green from the trees and plants once again in front of you after all these years. You couldn’t take your eyes off of the forest. Norm waved his hand by your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“Huh? What did you say?”

Norm only chuckled. “I was asking if you wanted to take a walk in the forest for old time sake?”

Your eyes glimmered in eagerness, quickly grabbing Norms arms dragging him in the dense forest. Not once did your eyes falter, a constant smile on your face to the point your cheeks were sore but that didn’t stop you. It felt like the exact moment you first went out 10 years ago. The flora looked even more beautiful than it did years ago, not to mention the softness from the grass and dirt connecting with your feet every step. Norm struggled to keep up with you. Jogging, trying to keep up with your quick steps.

“Wait up! You’re going way too fast, there was something I needed to show you.”

Your ears perk at Norms statement. He could only chuckle at your childish demeanour. He walks ahead of you, waving his hand to tell you to follow him. As you followed it felt like deja vu. Looking around in curiosity, spotting animals wandering the forest. Except this time you were much taller… and blue. Minutes passed, every minute of asking what it was Norm wanted to show you. He kept saying it was a surprise, which made you groan impatiently. As more time passed as you walked, another blue figure came into view, except they were wearing pieces of clothing extremely different from yours. Immediately you recognized them as an Omatikaya warrior. Your head quickly whipped around to face Norm. He could only give you a small smirk as he shrugged his shoulders. Your new tail whips back and forth in anticipation as you finally enter the village. The smile on your face widened even more, if that was even possible. Clan members looked at you with curiosity, normally they only see Norm come into the village but you were completely new. Everything felt so familiar to you, but there were many new additions in the village that had you interested. Walking a certain path, you knew where you were walking to… Jake’s family tent. The large tent looked exactly how it did all those years ago. You weren’t able to see Jake since the day you fell ill, this made you nervous to see him again. He was like an uncle to you. Reaching the front of the tent, Norm told you to wait as he entered. As you wait, you hear a small voice come from behind you.

“Excuse me? Who are you?”

You recognise that voice anywhere. You turn to face a certain someone.

“Tuk?”

Tuk looked a little puzzled for a moment, studying your features and hearing your voice. It clicked in her head. A gasped left your mouth and eyes big, she dropped her toy running towards you frame. She jumped in your arms as she shouted in glee.

“Y/N! Is that really you? You look like me!”

A hearty laugh came out, hugging her back as you spun her around.

“It is Tuk, it’s me!”

Just as you were spinning Tuk, Jake, Norm, and Neytiri came out. Jake thought Norm was lying about you being here, but that changed after seeing you interacting with his youngest daughter. Neytiri was just as shocked. She didn’t mind you as much as Spider. You heard them from behind you, you gently put Tuk down giving a greeting to both of them.

“Kaltxì, Jake, Neytiri”

Jake grinned walking over to you with open arms. Neytiri only watched with a small simile shaping her lips. Jake engulfed you in a big hug before pulling you back by your shoulders. He let out a small chuckle since you were now like him in a sense.

“Who knew, I actually get to see you in blue.”

You scoff jokingly as you punch his shoulder.

“That’s all you say after not seeing me in years? Well at least I can say that you look older grandpa”

He rolled his eyes before putting you in a headlock and giving you a noogie. Norm laughed at you being teased by Jake, Neytiri was chuckling softly watching the scene unfold. From a distance away, four bodies were walking closer. The three being the other sully kids and the last being Spider. They were conversing with each other, not noticing the figure in their father’s embrace. Neteyam looked away from them for a second before noticing an unfamiliar member near his father. It wasn’t until Jake saw them, waving at them to come over. The moment you turned around, Neteyam felt as if the world stopped for a second. He didn’t notice who you were until Kiri whispered your name in question. His head spun to face Kiri hearing your name spill from her lips, his face filled with shock but a good shock. Lo’ak swore under his breath, he finally got to see his friend outside except this time you're like him. Spider was the same, seeing you outside with a smile on your face made him happy. The three ran towards your figure, tackling you to the ground, hugging you tight and shouting with happiness.

Neteyam was still frozen in place. He was trying to process how you looked. You had beautiful markings covering your arm, legs, and face. Eyes, a vibrant yellow mixed with lines of green. Your small fangs peaking out as you shared smiles with his siblings. His ears and tail twitching unconsciously as he studied your new features. Jake had shouted at him to come over, quickly making him blink out of his daze. Light purple hues reached his cheeks when his father called him, not sure if he had caught him staring. Slowly approaching your figure that had been tackled to the ground. Watching as Tuk jumped into the pile as well, a small amused huff left his mouth. Kiri and Lo’ak finally got off you, pulling you up with them off the ground. The adults all watched with bright smiles on their faces before they started conversing with each other back in the tent. Neteyam finally joined you all, but he still felt a little awkward since you haven’t had the chance to talk to each other much. But he started staring at you again, drifting off into dreamland as you talked with Kiri. Lo’ak noticed the lack of speech coming from his brother, noticing that he was looking at you. He had a knowing smirk, elbowing Neteyam in the ribs which caused Neteyam to smack his arm.

Jake and Norm had come back out with soft smiles wanting to tell you something. You tilt your head in question as Norm lays a hand on your back. He looks at you for a second before returning his attention back to Jake. Jake spoke in a strong tone, but was also gentle.

“Would you like to learn our ways? I know you enjoy learning about everything and maybe you would like to experience it as well.”

Eyes blinking slowly a few times as you turn to Norm with a stricken expression. Both Norm and Jake let out lively laughs seeing your reaction. You let out a meek really? to Norm and he nodded briefly. Hands bursting in the air in celebration as you laugh in joy. Before you could run to hug Kiri and Lo’ak who were also excited about the news, Jake's voice stopped you.

“Neteyam will be the one to teach you everything you need to know”

Neteyam immediately whipped his head in the direction of his father. He quickly mentioned his training but Jake said that it would be okay. Neteyam was nervous to say the least, especially since it was you. As for your reaction, you didn’t know how to react so you just sent Neteyam a small smile. He quickly avoided your gaze, not sure how to feel about this situation. Your smile fell seeing how he looked away, concerned that you may have made him feel uncomfortable.

After everything had been set in place, Kiri and Lo’ak had taken you on a mini tour around the village. Showing you some new additions, the whole time your eyes were eager to see everything. As for Neteyam, he was trailing behind just like he did years ago when he was wary of you for the first time. For some reason, he couldn’t stop looking at you. Now that you looked like them, his interest in you peaked once more. It was interesting to him, how much your Avatar looked like you. Only difference between you and them is the lack of skills and knowledge of the people. He was kind of excited to be able to teach you but unsure at the same time. He still wasn’t sure how to talk with you, and it made it more difficult when he couldn’t speak English as well as his siblings.

They started walking into the forest after showing you around the village while Spider had gone back to the lab to do some chores that he promised Max. Both Lo’ak and Kiri were leading you to a specific spot that they said was special. You were breathing a bit heavily due to your Avatar not being used to all the fast movements. Your stamina definitely needed some improvement. Neteyam was still lagging behind, making sure everyone was in his view.  Tuk was jumping around, playing with some plants along the way. Lo’ak came to a stop causing you to crash into his back. You thought, why does this keep happening? You rub your nose once again, punching Lo’aks back for stopping.

“Why’d you stop”

He could roll his eyes as you punched your shoulder in return. That led to you slapping each other's arms and hands repeatedly. Which then led to Kiri slapping the back of your heads. Despite being older than the both of them, you finally got the chance to really feel childish. You and Lo’ak always had a sibling relationship, the one where you're always bickering and fighting each other but in a good way. Lo’ak blew a raspberry at you, you mocked him back before Kiri once again slapped the back of your heads. Neteyam could only laugh at his actions while Tuk tried joining in. Kiri finally spoke up.

“If you skxawngs are done fighting, y/n would’ve noticed where we are right now”

Your ears lifted, finally studying the area around you. It all looked familiar until something clicked. The small area, surrounded by the plants and trees, the small pond. This was where you guys officially met each other. It honestly all felt like a dream. You quickly remember a singular tree where you guys carved into it. Running over to the tree, you spot the carvings, your initials. The other four walked over, watching as you delicately traced over the initials. You turn to them with a downturn grin, reminiscing the old times. What caught your eye even more was the small plus between yours and Neteyams initials. Cheeks heating up for a second, remembering that younger you harboured feelings for the older sully brother. Although those feelings were from years ago, it was still buried deep within you. Neteyam noticed as well, ears turning purple. Lo’ak noticed once more, snickering at them both with how oblivious they were. Tuk then yelled that she was bored. As if your minds were the same, you, Kiri, and Lo’ak shared a look. Neteyam and Tuk were clueless to what you guys were thinking. Lo’ak ran to Neteyam, tapping his shoulder running off while yelling you’re it. He was completely caught off guard, watching as all of you scattered from his proximity. Even Tuk ran away screaming in excitement. It took him a minute to process what just happened before dashing off to grab you guys. He first went after Tuk, knowing she was going to be the easiest to catch. Only a minute later he grabbed her. Tuk pouted as he led her back to the pond before running off again to catch you guys. Since the three of you were hiding it took Neteyam a little while to find one of you. Finding Lo’ak first, they both went out on a full on sprint. Lo’ak desperately running for his life, not sure if he was laughing or screaming or both.

You could hear his screams in the distance, trying to muffle your chuckles from escaping your lips. The screaming stopped, but then screaming was heard again but this time from Kiri. You could hear her yell cuss words as Neteyam was closing in on her. It fell silent once more. You kept your breathing short and quiet, as you heard soft footsteps coming towards you. Hiding in a bush, you see legs appearing right in front of you which makes you hold your breath. Neteyam had a feeling you were somewhere near, standing still to hear any sudden movements. Right at that moment he heard a subtle crunch of leaves in front of him. He squats down swiftly, eyes meeting yours. You stood up fast and started running like a bunny being chased. Neteyam followed after you, a look of amusement and determination on his face. You were much faster than he expected you to be. You might’ve been faster than Lo’ak somehow and he was fast. Only disadvantage you had was your stamina. Running for a minute straight with Neteyam hot on your tail, you started slowing down due to being tired. Neteyam sped up jumping, tackling you to the ground. A small yelp sound coming from your mouth as you made contact with the ground.

You were huffing for air, not used to running so much. Breathing heavily as you meet the gaze of Neteyams eyes that look green in this lighting. Neteyam talked quietly.

“I caught you”

Exuberant laughter slipped out as Neteyam talked. You haven’t felt this alive in forever. Neteyam joining in your laughter finally loosening up around you. The laughter died down, both looking at each other, then realising that Neteyam was on top of you from tackling you. Both of you had purple hues surfacing on your cheeks as the both of you separated in a hurry. He let out a quick apology as both of you pat the dirt off yourselves. You wave him off saying that it was alright trying to cool your cheeks. The walk back was a little awkward, especially since you ran quite the distance from the pond. Walking side by side both of you spoke at the same time, quickly apologising to each other in flustered states. You talk first seeing that he we​nt silent once more.

“How um, how is training? I bet you’re busy a lot.”

Neteyam fiddled with his fingers behind his back as he gave you a small glance then returned his gaze to the ground.

“Yes, very busy. Training good but very tiring”

You smile softly hearing his broken english. Over the years you were kept inside, the Na’vi language was one of the main things you studied. You appreciated the effort Neteyam had when communicating with you. You jog forward just a bit, walking backwards in front of him.

“Plltxe na’vi” (speak na’vi)

He looked at you with a stunned expression. Feeling the awkwardness fading away as he started feeling more open to talk to you normally like old times. He gave you a toothy smile as his voice gave off a teasing tone.

“Ngeyä lì'upam hek nì'it mi” (Your pronunciation is a bit strange still)

A deadpan face took over your features as you rolled your eyes before it was replaced with an amused look.  Reaching the pond, you started skipping towards the three who were waiting for you guys. Neteyam watched as you skipped away, a content grin on his face. Lo’ak groaned as he spotted you and Neteyam coming out of the forest.

“Finally! You took forever, we were bored waiting on you.”

You stick your tongue out while pulling your lower eyelid down.

“Calm down, it was only a couple minutes. Plus I was getting chased.”

Looking back pointing to his brother who was trailing behind you. Kiri chuckled under her breath seeing you and Lo’ak banter with each other. Neteyam joined Kiri in laughing, happy that he finally rekindled his friendship with you although there were still ways to go. All of you talked for a while and played a few more rounds of tag before the eclipse. Travelling back to the village meeting up with Norm and Jake once more. They told you your Avatar body can stay within the village because of the training you’ll be starting early in the morning. With that, Jake guides you to a small tent for you to stay in. Hugging Norm one last time before you left for the lab knowing it's dangerous to be wandering around at night. Saying your goodnights to everyone, you settle in your tent, laying down comfortably on your mat. You didn’t want to close your eyes. If you did, you’d return to your dying body which you absolutely hated. But you knew it was for the best. Closing your eyes takes in deep breaths before your consciousness is returned to your original body. Immediately pain took over your body. You felt another coughing fit rising in your chest. Pushing open the pod as fast as you could, you fell out but ignoring those around you. Running to a bathroom nearby letting out your coughs over the sink. All the coughing made it difficult to get air in your system, struggling to breathe.

Blood. The crimson colour of the liquid staining the white sink and your white lab coat. Your body finally decided to stop your coughing leaving you heaving for air. You take steps back before your back hits the wall, sliding down as you make contact with the tiled floor. You were so happy and lively a minute ago, now you were in pain and coughing blood on the floor. Just as your body settled, knocking came from the door.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Max told me he saw you running in a rush after unlinking.”

You stayed quiet for a minute not really sure if you had the strength to talk. You heard him repeat your name one more time. Whispering, voice terribly hoarse and strained.

“I’m okay Norm… just another small coughing fit”

Hearing him sigh, you knew he knew that this wasn’t just a “small” fit.

“Do you want me to wait here for you?”

His voice was delicate, as if he was talking to a small fragile child. You could only let out a small no, not wanting Norm to see the state you were in right now. Norm could only rest his forehead on the door, worried for you. He let out a quiet okay, hesitating to walk away from the door. Hearing the steps fading your head falls back against the wall wishing that this could all just end.

_

It had been a couple days since your first linking to your Avatar. The first couple days of training was mostly building up your stamina which was also accompanied by Lo’ak much to Neteyams debate. But also every day after unlinking, the coughing became more frequent. Mo’at had given you some remedies to help slow down the process of your condition but it still didn’t help with the aching and discomfort. Today, you were slightly excited, you moved on from building stamina to using a weapon. Not only that, Lo’ak couldn’t join because Jake knew Lo’ak would distract the both of you. That made Lo’ak annoyed because he wanted to teach you too.

You and Neteyam were walking together to the practice range for the bow and arrows. The first time being alone since the first day of being in your Avatar. The walk was silent but this time it was rather a comfortable silence than an awkward one. Even though the time spent with him was also with Lo’ak, the both of you had gotten closer, only speaking Na’vi when you were with him. There were stolen glances from time to time and teasing nudges. Neteyam felt like he was more free when he was around you. Reaching the range, Neteyam grabbed a practice bow for you to use. He gently passed it into your hands as he grabbed his own bow. Your tail is swishing around in anticipation.

“Now, this is one of our main weapons we use for both hunting and fighting. I will teach you the proper stance and draw back. Also how to aim for your target. Maybe later this week if you improve, we can go hunting.”

You were nervous to say the least. Neteyam demonstrated first, having a strong stance. Arms pulled back as he drawed the arrow, focusing on the target in front of him. As he let go, the arrow swiftly flew through the air perfectly hitting the middle of the target. Your face said it all, completely captivated. He slowly brought his bow back down, turning to face you with a proud look on his face. He waves you over, finally your turn to attempt to shoot an arrow. He let you try by yourself first, and it went terribly. He studied your horrible posture and stance, the way your arms were weirdly positioned in the air. Lastly, how weak your core looked. When you released the arrow, it didn’t reach all the way to the target. You hiss in embarrassment as you look at the arrow on the ground. Neteyam tried to suppress his laugh as you failed miserably. You gave him a glare, shutting him up immediately.

He made his way over to you grinning from ear to ear. He stands beside you, showing you how to stand. You copied him, but you still had some flaws in your stance. So he took on the more physical approach but looked for you permission first. Giving him a firm nod, he started with your arms. His hands caressed them gently as he positioned them in the proper angle as you drew the arrow back. His light touches had your cheeks heating up and your stomach churning. He then went to fix your legs, tapping them to give you a wider stance and making sure your feet are facing the proper directions. You still weren’t able to control your tail very well, so it was wagging in nervousness. When he got your stomach, your breath had hitched ever so slightly. He was too distracted with giving you the perfect stance to notice your nervous frame. His fingers brushed over your stomach as he said to tighten your core and to stand tall. He stepped back to see his work and gave a content nod to himself. He gave you the thumbs up to shoot, but you were still trying to cool down from his light touches. Your arms faltered a bit before shooting so he stopped you quickly. You turn your head to look at him, he is standing right in front of you. He adjusted your arms once more but stayed in close proximity to you to make sure you stayed standing in the stance. You couldn’t help but stare at him, he looked ethereal in the warm light of the sun. Neteyam distracted again trying to help with your aiming but then also met your eyes. Both of you had heat rising to your cheeks as both of you were entranced in each other's glimmering eyes. Neteyam was first to break the contact, quickly speaking with a soft tone to tell you to release the arrow.

From a distance, Jake wanted to check in just to see how you were doing. He stopped his steps seeing his oldest son guiding you. He felt deja vu wash over him seeing the scene. Remembering when Neytiri was the one guiding him for the first time. He saw the way both of you looked at each other. A smile reached his lips, chuckling softly seeing his son so relaxed in your presence. He watched as you shouted with joy after hitting the target and his son joining in with the cheering. Jake thought it was best not to interrupt the special moment the both of you were sharing.

_

Weeks passed. Each day that passes the weaker you feel. You were definitely improving a lot with your Avatar but your other body was the only thing that was dragging it down. There were times the pain got so great that there was physical pressure you felt through your Avatar. Those times you had to unlink to calm your real body down. Not only that, the blood and coughing situation had gotten extremely worse. You coughed up blood at least 2-3 times a day, the pain increasing each time. It hurt to talk and to eat, this led to you being malnourished. Norm had fought with you to eat and take better care of your body. Everytime the argument starts, it ends with you breaking down and Norm losing the fight. Your real body didn’t feel real anymore. Guilt also filled your system, every passing day that was spent with Neteyam only made your feelings for him grow. The past days you and Neteyam shared deep conversations and shared gentle touches. Lo’ak and Kiri can see how you guys looked at each other and constantly teased Neteyam about it. Even Neytiri saw how her son looked at you, vise versa. Although you were an Avatar, Neytiri had accepted you as a clan member which was huge.

When you woke up today, you felt worse than normal. Instead of looking into it, you ignored it, taking it as your normal pain. You quickly take the herbal medicine Mo’at had given you and trudged to the linking room. Halfway there you felt faint, using the wall as a support but you still proceeded to the linking pods. Norm had noticed your figure slowly approaching the room. He was extremely worried for your well being. He even tried to force you to eat but you kept refusing. There wasn’t much he could do at this point but to just let you do what you wanted.

You reached the pod, struggling to open it with your weak arms. Your arms shook as you lifted yourself up to lay down in the pod. Closing the lid, you took in a shaky breath as you transferred your consciousness to your Avatar. Waking up in your tent, you saw Neteyam patiently waiting outside for you. A smile made its way to your lips as you quietly walked up behind him. Just before you could scare him, he turned rapidly while shouting. That scared the shit out of you. Your mouth agape with a stunned expression. Neteyam burst out laughing, tears collecting on his waterline. You jokingly pushed him.

“NETEYAM! How’d you know I was coming up behind you?”

He tried calming down from his laughing fit, taking in deep breaths.

“You aren’t exactly the best at sneaking up on something quite yet. I could probably hear you footsteps from a mile away”

You could only laugh with him as both of you continued nudging each other. Neteyam looked at you, admiring your laugh and your smile. You noticed his silence, meeting his gaze. You looked to the ground with purple hues appearing on your cheeks. His smile widened seeing your reaction. An idea popped in his head.

“Shall we take a walk instead of training today?”

Your head perked up in interest, giving him a shy nod. You both made your ways to the village border. Taking steps into the forest, the sunlight making lines through the pants. Conversations flowed smoothly between you two, hands brushing against each other as you walked. The direction Neteyam took you was relatively new to you. But then again the forest was huge and anywhere would be new to you. Sharing laughs and teasing punches, you felt like you were on cloud nine. Just as you passed another clearing, something caught your attention in the corner of your eye. It was a tree that resembled the one in your dream. Your sudden stop made Neteyam tilt his head at you. He followed your gaze landing on the small tree in the middle of the clearing. He watched as you walked towards the tree, your face seemingly confused. You were confused about how this tree was the exact one from your dream. But seeing it in person, it was even more magnificent. A scoff of joy as you delicately touch the leaves.

Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. In his eyes you looked so spiritual when you looked at the tree with such care. He stepped into the clearing, approaching you with a soft smile. You tilt your head toward the ground as you sit under the tree. Patting the spot next to you, Neteyam crouched down taking the spot. Calming silence took over, enjoying each other's company. You were busy studying the environment around you, eventually resting your head on Neteyams shoulder. This made Neteyams body tense up, not used to this type of contact. He glanced down seeing you fiddle with the fallen leaves and the grass. Relaxing his shoulders, he hesitated for a second before resting his head on top of yours. Even taking another step forward by wrapping his tail around your waist. Both of you found solace with each other.

An hour passed like it was nothing. Neteyam felt like he was dreaming. Normally he didn’t focus much on other females in the clan but you were special to him. Your head was now resting on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heart beats. His chest hummed as he spoke with a gentle tone.

“I am glad that I got to train you instead of someone else”

He felt your cheeks rising, which made him smile too. But what he said next had you pause.

“How are my grandmother's remedies? I never got the chance to ask you about your healing.”

You stilled, ears folding down as guilt washed over you. You separate yourself from Neteyam as you look down ashamed. Neteyam tilts his head wondering why you looked so down. He grabbed your hands pulling them into his lap.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something?”

You gripped his hands gently, finally looking up with a pained smile on your face.

“No no, you didn’t say anything bad…”

He brought one of his hands up to your cheek, delicately caressing it.

“What is wrong then?”

Your eyes moistened, breathing becoming uneven. Your voice was quiet and vulnerable.

“I… I lied to you Neteyam”

His face furrowed, confusion overtaking his emotions. He moved to sit right in front of you, hand still on your cheek.  

“What do you mean?”

You grab his wrist, bringing it down from your cheek. The tears heavily gather in your eyes, voice shaky, nervous about how he would react. You weren’t sure if you should lie again. Opting to tell the truth you avoid his gaze as you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m not healing Neteyam…”

Neteyam froze in place. There was a ringing in his ears that wouldn’t go away. His eyes studied your face to see if you were joking or not but you weren’t. He removed his hand from your grip. The way he looked at you shattered your heart. Neteyam wasn’t sure if he should yell or not talk at all. Instead he whispered under his breath.

“Why”

You tried grabbing his hands again but he avoided your touch. You were stumbling over your words as you tried saying that it was for the best but this made Neteyam even more angry.

“WHY!”

His yelling made you flinch. You were speechless, never have you seen Neteyam act like this. Tears were now freely falling down your cheeks as you tried explaining but it was hard to to get words out from your hard breathing. He felt betrayed, betrayed that you would do this to yourself and him. Betrayed that you would even lie to everyone in his family, especially Kiri. You desperately tried to explain, but the words coming out weren’t good enough for him. He stood up, a dark expression overshadowing his face.

“Neteyam please, lying to you was the only choice I had”

His nose flared. “What about the choice of just telling me at the very start? THAT WAS A CHOICE! We could’ve worked through this together! Instead you chose to hide like a coward and hide the pain. You are selfish, just like all the other Skypeople.”

Neteyam’s voice was strained, not wanting to talk more as tears were now threatening his eyes. But his anger was too much, more words just spilled out.

“You bring shame to the clan and to me. To think that I was falling for you. You will always be an evil skyperson at heart.”

His words cut you and it stung terribly. You tried reaching out, but in return he stepped back. Your chest burned in dejection. You knew you were in the wrong but it was too late. Your body entered a panic mode, your breathing turned to wheezing. Every breath felt like fire in your lungs. Neteyam still stood in front of you, upset and depressed from your lie.

“Neteyam please, please don’t leave it like this”

You stood up taking small steps towards him. But every step you took forward, he stepped back. The next step you took, your body went limp. Eyes closing as your body hits the ground. Neteyams eyes widened in shock. All his anger dispersed, replaced with shock and worry. He got onto his knees immediately, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you.

“Y/n? Y/n? Hey wake up, you can’t just pass out like that.”

He lightly tapped your face, trying to wake you up.

“Stop joking around y/n”

He started to panic. Salty liquid running down his face as you weren’t waking up. Neteyam picked up, carrying you in bridal style. He ran through the forest in a hurry, yelling as he saw the village in his line of blurry vision. The yelling caught Jake's attention, his eyes found Neteyam running with your body in his grasp. Jake ran in Neteyams direction seeing that you were unconscious. Reaching Neteyam, he saw that he had tears running down his face.

“What happened?” Jake's voice stern but filled with concern.

“We-we were arguing but then she uh she suddenly collapsed. I’m so sorry it was my fault sir.”

Neteyam was sobbing uncontrollably as he got out his choked up words. This made something click in Jake's head. You must’ve been unlinked for some reason. He ushers Neteyam to the healing tent. Telling him to place your body down on one of the mats. Mo’at saw this and once she saw your body she knew. She got to work right away making sure your Avatar body didn’t sustain any injuries. Jake told Neteyam to follow him as Mo’at worked on your Avatar body.

Entering the family tent, Kiri was the only one there. She was caught off guard seeing both Neteyam and Jake in distress. Jake had gathered some things to bring with him before setting off to the lab. Kiri tried asking what was going on but both of them left in a hurry. Running through the dense forest, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He remembered what he had said to you and regrets it deeply.

_

When you collapsed, it turned out that Norm was the one to unlink you. The panic attack you had with your Avatar had a large effect on your actual body. Your vitals were spiking as you started to cough up a dangerous amount of blood. The coughing did not slow down until you fell unconscious. Opening the pod, Norm was met with a scene that made his blood run cold. Your unconscious body, blood covering your lower jaw and the top of your shirt. He picked you up, yelling to everyone to get a bed set up with ivs and medicine prepared.

As machines were being attached to your body, a door slammed open to reveal Jake and Neteyam. Norm raced to Jake, pulling him to talk about what the hell happened. Norm was in such a distressed state that Jake had to calm him down. Neteyam stood only still, seeing your body in the white bed. His eyes trailed the machines that were hooked up onto your body. What had him shakened up the most was how sick you look. The last time he saw your human body you were pale and thin but seeing it again, it was like it doubled. Your top was stained in your blood, you were so pale that he could see your veins so clearly. Not only that, your face was so sunken, and your arms so small that it could snap in half if you weren’t careful. He fell to his knees, tears gathering in his eyes again. His knees shifted closer to your body, carefully touching your hand that was hanging off the edge. A hand covering his mouth suppressing his cries as he watches your chest rise up and down slowly.

Norm and Jake were discussing the possibilities. They were interrupted by Neteyams appearance. Jake saw how red his son's eyes were, he pulled him into a tight hug knowing his relationship with you. The hug stopped short when Neteyam mumbled something about you. He pulled away asking Neteyam what he said. He replied in a quavering voice that you were dying. Norms' eyes widened, followed by asking Neteyam what he meant by that.

“She told me that she lied. Lied about grandmother having a cure for her…disease”

The last word coming out strained. Norm fell back into a chair behind him as Jake was trying to process the new information.

_

Days passed, you were still unconscious. Neteyam never left your side, he slept and watched over you every second of the passing days. His family grew worried as he started neglecting his own health. Neytiri understood Neteyam the most. She knew how much he cherished you just as much as she cherished Jake. Tuk was held back at home, Jake didn’t want his youngest daughter seeing your current state. But he couldn’t hold back Kiri and Lo’ak. When they saw your unconscious figure, Lo’ak went numb as Kiri cried. Spider was absolutely devastated when he heard you collapsed. Although you both didn’t hang out as much since the start of your training, he loved you so much as an older sister. Three times a day, one of them dropped food off for Neteyam as he never left the lab. Most of the time he didn’t touch the food and just left it to go cold. Every night he whispers his regrets and sheds warm tears hoping that you would just wake up.

On a certain day, he finally went outside but went directly to the tree of voices. Making tsaheylu, he asked for Eywas help. Wishing to help you recover and for you to wake up. He stayed at the tree for hours, repeating his wishes to Eywa. When he thought that it was enough, he sighed as he stood up and walked away from the tree of voices. As he walked back to the lab, he saw Kiri, Lo’ak and Spider waiting outside. He gave them a look of question. Lo’ak spoke up saying that you had woken up. He made a beeline to the door until Kiri stopped him. She told him that grandmother told them to wait as she examined you. He huffed in frustration, wanting to see you now but knew better than to go against his grandmother's wishes. Minutes passed as Neteyam grew more impatient. But once he heard the door creak open he whipped his head to see what it was. Mo’at stepped out with Jake, giving the children a nod to go on in. Neteyam strides past them both, needing to see you.

His breath hitched seeing you awake and smiling at his appearance.

“Hey”

Your voice was raspy and low. Giving all your strength to give him a bright smile. Neteyam broke down as he ran to you, basically jumping in your arms. A yelp left your mouth as he embraced you tight. His tears soaked your shirt, you rubbed his back trying to comfort him.

“I dont think it’s a good idea to be crushing a sick person”

His eyes shot open, quickly getting off you. He wipes his tears as he apologises. You could only give him a teasing smile. But that smile fell as you needed to discuss something serious with Neteyam. You weakly grab his hands, making him look at you.

“Neteyam, there’s something we have to talk about.”

Telling by your tone, he knew it was going to be serious. You continued talking, as you were talking it was as if Neteyam had gone deaf. The words leaving your mouth had him shocked.

“... I asked Mo’at for a consciousness transfer.”

“No”

His voice is serious and deep. Your grip tightened on his hand.

“Neteyam, this is the only way for me to live longer.”

“no , it’s too risky. I can’t let you go through with this.”

You sat up, fully facing him.

“I understand the risks but I'm dying Neteyam and it's not going to change. This is the best I can do.”

“If it doesn’t work then you will die”

“I’m dying either way Neteyam and it’s a risk I'm willing to take” Tears are now building up in your eyes. “Mo’at already approved of the idea, I’m not going to back out now”

He felt the anger come back into his system. Instead of saying a word to you, he stormed out of the lab radiating with displeasure. You tried yelling for him, but your voice was too weak and strained. Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak watched as he slammed the door open witnessing his heated demeanour. They gave each other looks trying to figure out what had happened. Lo’ak got up to go after Neteyam while Kiri and Spider went inside to see you. Kiri saw you curled up in a ball, crying. She rushed over to you, bringing you into an embrace. Spider only felt upset, seeing you cry made him rush after Neteyam. Kiri tried calming you down, her heart hurt for you seeing you in so much pain. She waited till your breathing slowed so she could ask what had happened. You had told her in short breaths about your consciousness transfer and how it led Neteyam to disagree with you. Kiri knew the risks of this but she knew you would rather risk it than continue living in pain until you eventually passed. She rubbed your back, hoping Lo’ak could change Neteyams mind about the whole thing.

Lo’ak had finally caught up to his brother, grabbing his arm to turn him around. Neteyam ripped his grip off his arm. Lo’ak stared at him in puzzlement.

“What the hell are you so mad about?”

Those words made Neteyam feel worse, pushing Lo’ak back not wanting to talk to anyone. Lo’ak tried grabbing him again since he kept turning away from him. Which led to him being shoved even harder. Neteyams tone was low and hoarse.

“Back off.”

Lo’ak decided to push back, annoyed at his brother. This set Neteyam off. Pushing Lo’ak to the ground yelling in his face.

“I said BACK OFF.”

“THEN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” He got off the ground, shoving his face in his, irritation moulding his features. Neteyam stayed silent for a moment, whispering under his breath.

“Y/n is going to do a consciousness transfer…”

Lo’ak wasn’t surprised. His lack of reaction made Neteyam confused. Why isn’t he mad? Why does he look like he already knew? In fact Lo’ak knew a day like this would come. You and him had a conversation about the transfer, and he reacted a bit like Neteyam when you first brought it up. The only difference was that he didn’t know about the lie until now. But he came to terms with the idea because he wanted you to have a better life. He saw how happy you were when you were in the forest, with the people. After hearing about you lying about being healed, that only made him want you to do the transfer more. He didn’t want you to be in pain for the rest of the time you have left. He knew Neteyam felt that way too but he was in a stage of denial and Lo’ak could see that. You were right, if you were dying either way, Lo’ak rather it be through the eye of Eywa. Passing without having to deal with pain or continue living in pain. And if the transfer worked, you could finally live the life you deserved.

“I know”

Those words leaving Lo’aks lips had Neteyam baffled. His face scrunched up coming closer to Lo’ak, asking what he meant by “he knew '' in a threatening tone. Lo’ak told him that he had a hunch ever since you first talked to him about the possibility of a transfer. You had even told him to not mention it to anyone else. Neteyam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He ignored Lo’aks yelling as he ran away, wanting to be alone. Spider finally caught up to Lo’ak but he didn’t see Neteyam.

_

Two days passed since you revealed your wish to do the transfer. Neteyam never came by once since then and you were disheartened by that. Kiri and Lo’ak would be the only ones that came by and even Jake. They kept saying that Neteyam refused to leave the tent when you asked if he was coming. You were also growing weaker as more time passed after you woke up. Your coughing was still harsh but not as bad as the one that made you go unconscious. That was what you thought at least but Kiri thought it was all the same and it severely concerned her. The only thing you were concerned about was Neteyam. Today no one was here and it was just you. The transfer was to be done tomorrow but you had an itch. The urge to step outside in your current body.

You slip off the bed, holding on to the rails for support as your legs are weak. Walking weakly to your room to grab fresh clothes. You sat on your bed and took a minute to yourself to just study around you. Hand gently touch your blanket and drag it across. Eyes moving to your desk, spotting a picture with your and the others when you were younger. You remember how Norm had trouble taking the picture due you guys running around constantly. A faint smile made its way to your lips, but faded away because this may be your last time ever seeing it. The pain in your chest grew too great and you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer. You thought that you came into terms with death but in reality, you hoped that the transfer would work. You were just a scared kid who went through too much at a young age. Your eyes moistened at the possibility of not seeing anyone anymore. Norm, Kiri, Lo’ak, Spider, Tuk, Jake, even Neytiri. Neytiri had grown quite fond of you over the time you were training with Neteyam. The one person you would miss most of all is Neteyam but now he wasn’t even speaking with you or wanting to see you. Tears streaming down your eyes as you bring the picture close to your chest. Holding it tight not wanting it to disappear from your sight.

You eventually stood back up with the picture still in your hands. Wobbly walking over to the door, grabbing a mask. You look down at the mask, bringing it up to your face and securing it around your head. Your body was tired but you had to go outside. Pushing the door open, warm air floods through the door. You admire the scenery before you, never getting used to the forest's beauty. Your breaths were short, mind hazy and skin feeling tingling. Walking with a calm demeanour towards the forest. The other Avatars looked at you with odd looks as you passed them. It seemed like you alerted them, one of them running to get in contact with Norm. Your steps grew faster as you got closer to the lush trees. The others yelled and ran to get you back but they immediately lost you as your body disappeared in their view once you entered the forest. Your bare feet dig into the dirt with every step you take forward. The sun glimmered through the leaves and plants. Eyes fluttering closed every now and then wanting to memorise the flora and animals you see.

Your body wandered the forest for minutes before you stumbled upon the same tree. Standing in place as you just stare at the tree. Recalling what happened the last time you were here. A frown made its place on your face, the place where you and Neteyam fought. But also the place where you found peace within each other. Taking a hesitant step into the clearing, feet connecting with the soft grass. Hands reaching for the leaves that hang down from the willow like tree. Its leaves were turning orange and yellow. In ways it was similar to you, wilting away as time closed in. Taking a seat under the dying tree, legs laid out flat, picture laying in your lap. A deep breath entering your lungs, it started to ache but you were used to it. All you did was sit and stare at the nature around you. Neither did you realise the liquid dripping down your cheeks. Your breathing shallowed, the hazy feeling taking over your senses. Eyes drifting off into darkness as the grip on the picture loosened.

_

Everyone was in a panic. When Norm got the alert of you leaving the lab and just disappearing he jumped yelling for Jake who was nearby. Norm ran to the tent, Jake stood up quickly seeing the distress on his friend's face.

“She’s gone, she disappeared into the forest”

Those words caught Neteyams attention as he was hiding away in the corner of the tent. Disappeared? In your human body? Jake called a search party, shouting to search the forest for a small female human. Neteyam remembered the last time you were out in your human body, the reason you had caught this horrid disease. He got up swiftly, grabbing his knife in case anything went wrong. His body was in both panic and hunting mode. Lo’ak, Spider and Kiri quickly join in the search, scared for their friend.

Running through the forest, they searched relentlessly for you but time passed and they grew more anxious. Neteyam had this gnawing feeling, regretting not seeing you for two whole days. He knew your body wasn’t adaptive to the pandora atmosphere and every passing minute felt like a needle was stabbing his chest. He was upset with you, yes but he held you dearly to his heart. If he thought the last time he saw you was during the fight you guys had, he would never forgive himself. Even thinking about that made tears well in his eyes as he was searching for you desperately. But as he was running, a specific place popped into his head. The tree. The one place that you and him shared, the place you both shared the most intimate moment but also a bad moment. He dug his feet in the ground, forcing him to stop and turn directions. Racing towards the area where you might be, hoping you would be there. His heart was beating like crazy as he got closer. Bursting through the plants, his eyes landed on your small figure laying against the tree. A feeling of relief washed over him but quickly disappeared seeing your eyes closed. He ran to your body, kneeling down and putting his ear against your chest. He released the breath he was holding after hearing your heart beating. The only thing he was concerned about was how little your chest was rising.

Quickly picking you up in his arms, dropping the picture in your lap in the process. The glass from the frame shattered on the grass as Neteyam ran back to the village. The leaves from the tree, wilting faster and falling onto the ground. Reaching the village, he started yelling to grab his father's attention. Jake spotted him with your small frame in his arms. He took you out of his arms, running to Mo’at. Mo’at rushed them to put you on one of the mats. Neteyam was breathing heavily, tears were now flowing down his face seeing you not wake up. He kept asking if you would be okay but Mo’at ignored him, focusing on your body. Jake went out to call back the search party, making Kiri and Lo’ak rush in seeing your frail body not awake. Spider made it back too and fell to his knees seeing your unconscious state. Jake and Norm pacing outside while Neytiri was comforting the crying Tuk. Mo’at stood up abruptly facing everyone.

“We must get her to the Spirit tree at once”

Neteyam's eyes widened, would the fight be the last thing you guys shared? Jake told Neteyam to grab your body as he went to grab your Avatar. Neytiri went to gather the clan to the Spirit tree instantly. Kiri and Lo’ak helped Mo’at and their mother as both Jake, Neteyam, and Norm raced to the tree. Neteyam's tears never stopped, he was torn and hurt that this could be the last time he would ever see you. The glowing tree was seen from a distance, legs carrying him faster. Clans members catching up to them, gathering around the tree. Neteyam gently placed your body under the tree, supporting your head before gently removing his hand. He looked at your face, you looked so calm. His eyes widened as he saw your eyes twitch. His eyes were the first thing you saw as you opened your eyes. His eyes were beautiful, a green shade in this lighting. It was like looking at an angel. His tears dropped on to your mask as you brought your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his hand going over yours.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

His sobs made you tear up as he kept apologising over and over again. You kept forgiving him over and over, trying to reassure him that it was okay but it didn’t stop him. The family gave them a bit of time as they still waited for the rest of the clan to gather at the tree. Neytiri and Jake saw so many similarities with them and you guys. The way you caressed his son's face brought memories back to when the war was finally over.

You kept trying to reassure him but he didn’t listen. Your gentle smile graced your lips as both your hands weakly grabbed his hands for him to stop. One hand went up to wipe his tears away as he gently gripped your hands tighter.

“There’s no need to cry”

He shook his head, “no, everything is my fault. I never should have ran away. It was immature of me to not talk about it. You only wanted what was best for all of us. Instead I got mad and left you alone.”

Your lips pursed as you brought your hand down to lay on top of his.

“It wasn’t your fault. You had every right to be mad. Although when you left it hurt me, I don’t want our last conversation to be fighting. I-”

A stinging sensation entered your lungs. Coughing erupted from your mouth but this time there was no blood. The lack of blood shocked Neteyam, not sure if that was a bad sign. Before he could get up to grab Mo’at your hand stopped him. You shook your head at him, telling him not yet. He kneeled back down with concern washing over his tight features. You caress his face as you let out shaky words.

“Neteyam, there is something important I have to tell you before the transfer starts. Ever since we were children I was always the closest to you. You somehow took my heart away from a young age. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you but after the long years apart it was buried. But more recently those feelings resurfaced and grew stronger the longer I spent my time with you. The way you talk, laugh, and just exist makes my body feel so light. Your eyes are one of the most beautiful features I love about you. The way it can look different in different lights. The green shades are especially my favourite. They remind me of the forest of Pandora, and all the flora around it. Seeing you everyday was the highlight of my days, and training with our teasing banter was one of the best highlights. I seriously love you Neteyam, for the longest time I've loved you. Nga yawne lu oer ma tìyawn. Oel ngati kameie.”

Tears streamed down his face even more from those last few words. He brought your hands into his chest as he let out quiet words of his own.

“Nga yawne lu oer ma yawntutsyìp fìtxan nìtxan. Oel ngati kameie.”

Both of you shed tears together. His forehead leaning on to your mask. Once he pulled back, the expression on your face was sad once more.

“When this ceremony starts, please be prepared for the worst. There is a chance I will not make it back through the eye of Eywa. But I love you so much, please remember that. I will always be with you no matter where I am.”

This only made him cry harder but he nodded faintly as he understands the risks of this transfer. You told him to prepare for the worse but he knew he would never be fully prepared. But he stayed strong for you. Mo’at taps his shoulder indicating that everyone is here and the ceremony will have to start. He didn’t let go of your hand until he fully stood up, giving you one last look before sitting beside his siblings. Mo’at started the chant as the rest of the clan slowly joined. You close your eyes letting yourself fall still. The ground pulsing with its bioluminescent light in rhythmic beats with the clan. The roots make their way to the back of your neck along with your Avatar. A white tunnel taking over your vision. Minutes passed as the chant was still going strong. The family hopes only good results will come after the transfers end. Neteyam begging Eywa to give you a second life. Mo’at then went silent causing everyone else to go silent as well. Neteyam got up in a hurry to your body. His heart stopped seeing only your human body twitching. It didn’t work. He carefully took the mask off your face, a smile present on your lips as you talked softly.

“I saw her Neteyam. Beautiful.”

Your mouth opened once more but the lights in your eyes faded before you could talk once more. The last you saw was his deep green eyes. The pain fled your body, becoming relaxed as you took your last breath. Jake could only watch as it felt like Grace's death all over again. Neteyam sat there, numbness overtook his emotions. The sounds of Kiri and Tuks' cries sounded muffled. There was a ringing sound travelling through his ears. His hands were holding on to your cold ones as he stared into your blank eyes. Wet tears slipped out from his eyes, collecting on the tip of his chin. The droplets falling on to your cheeks. Neytiri bent down, bringing his head into her shoulder. Louds sobs broke out, burying his face deeper into his mothers embrace.

_

Your body was washed and decorated with traditional Na’vi clothing. Your Avatar has the same done to it. Neteyam had been numb ever since his breakdown in his mothers arms. He took off his armband, wrapping it around your upper arm. He brought everyone to the willow tree. Making a hole at the base, dropping flowers to make a bed. Kiri had braided a single braid with her beads, Lo’ak tied your hair with one of his bands. Tuk laid a wooden sun that you carved for her a while back. They placed your fragile body onto the bed of flowers. Placing your Avatar right beside you. An atokirina' laying in Neteyam’s hand as you let it flow down onto your body. The clan surrounds the tree, singing and chanting for the fallen member. Neteyam could only look down to your peaceful face as the singing in the background drowned his sorrows.

_

As days passed, he would come back to the tree and sit under it. He retrieved the fallen picture that he found before digging the hole. The picture broke his heart all over again. When weeks passed, the tree found life once more. It felt as if you were there with him whenever he visited the tree with the picture in hand. He would always shed tears but today he smiled as he looked at the flourishing tree. He set his forehead against the bark as he whispered.

“Oe nga lomtu ma yawntutsyìp” (I miss you darling)

[kevotsuka]

I want to hear more pregnant Bezz thoughts of yours. What's his pregnancy like? Cravings? Illness? What does he do most of the time? You mentioned he isolated himself, does he get sad when lonely? Does Pecco visit him and help him with stuff? Does Bezz attempt to remember who the father could be and contact him? How does Bezz feel isolating himself when he's usually a very social person? Any preg!bezz thoughts you have, I love your cute au 🩵🩵

ANON I'm sorry I'm so late but my head has lately decided go to a writing strike HSHSHSHS but I've been listening to Alejandra Guzman, Cristina Aguilera and RBD in loop and now I'm better

You have very VERY important questions.  Preg! Bezz has been spinning like a piece of spicy chicken in my brain and im go and talking to a bunch of moms to project my man into their problems wuwuwu

This answer is going to be too long and a mess, I'm so sorry orz orz orz

(and each pregnancy is completely unique. What is normal for one person may be a sign of absolute danger for another. Always remember to go to your trusted gynecologist/obstetrician!)

1. What's his pregnancy like? Cravings? Illness?

He craves Japanese food but is banned from sushi!  He is an unhappy Bezz when people told him that sushi is dangerous for the baby.  Beyond that, he doesn't really have food cravings, he just eats a lot (and then throws up because he feels guilty for eating so much. He has more problems with food than cravings. TCA/Eating Disorder Bezz is very personal to me- but it's going to therapy and continuing with a new nutritionist!)

About symptoms.  At first he thinks it's an asymptomatic pregnancy, and it's more like the pregnancy is camouflaging itself.

Like. He's throwing up his guts, but he think “its relates it to the end of the season and the stress causes that in him” (even though he's no longer in line for the championship) (and he's never thrown up from stress before).  He then feels fatigued and can't sleep, but that's all because he travels a lot, jet lag and all that.  He misses his dog and cries looking at his photos. He has belly cramps, but it's probably something he ate in the paddock when he had a sudden aversion to the smell of chicken and he couldn't eat anything from the hospitality.

On top of that, his painkillers are kicking him between physical therapy.

When the season ends and his body has a chance to catch up, all the symptoms hit him like a truck. Headaches, heartburn, constipation and generally the desire to die to end the torment of him. He is also bloated…? and feels like shit. The bug is charging for every fall he had at the end of the season, or at least that's what Bezz thinks as he gets up for the second time in the night to urinate at the end of the second trimester or when he has to drink his calcium-fortified milk -very expensive and he hates the taste-.  The bug is really demanding with they needs!

2. What does he do most of the time? You mentioned he isolated himself, does he get sad when lonely?

I said “practically vanished from the face of the earth.”  He wasn't really alone, he is a family man, and of course he returned to his childhood home!  His older sister was very happy for him!  (The youngest offered him a rue tea as soon as he mentioned that he are pregnant, before Marco clarified that he was going to keep it- wait “Laura, how do you know that these are abortifacients?” “Oh Marco, don't ask questions for which you don't want answers.")

 (i'm sorry i love his sisters so much hshshs)

But yeah, he feels so lonely because he went from spending almost all the time with his team or the people at the ranch, not just the other riders, and now is just his family and his new “medical crew” (obstetrician, psychologist, nutritionist).

Also, He is an unemployed man!  At least until Valentino calls him and tells him he has something for him to do at the academy (like Migno, lol)

He can't help in the mechanical workshop (although now that Vito goes to the races with him, I wonder what's happened with that), so he goes with his mom to do the administrative work.

 He hates it so much :)

Those first months are torture for him and his family. His two sisters capitulated as soon as they could and left (they have a life to, Marco!). When he's not helping his mom or learning to become expert in Excel, he's watching old seasons of MotoGP, F1, and NBA. He stays at home mostly. He gets in a bad mood about it, but he prefers it to having to face his friends :(

But he can now recite by heart the podiums of every MotoGP and F1 race from 2007 and 2008!

3. Does Pecco visit him and help him with stuff?

Yeah! Bezz calls Pecco to tell him because he knows he can't run away forever for his friends, but he calls him at week 15 which is a long time past the period for a termination of pregnancy (wait, are abortions even legal in Italy?).  He called pecco when he say himself “there is no turning back from this.”

 (He's a fool...)

Pecco, once he discovers that Bezz is no longer going to lock himself in and respond to his messages (although not those from the academy's WhatsApp group...), finds out his home address and appears from time to time to check on him and take him out to eat Japanese food (but not sushi :c).  He texts him constantly and listen to Marco when he calls him to tell him something about how horrible he feels and how none of the websites he's seen talk enough about back pain (they do, he doesn't really read a lot).

Bezz is also ignoring the absolute circus that is the 2024 season because he feels rubbish not being there, and Pecco is happy not to touch on the topic at all because talking about the season is talking about Martín and Márquez and no, thanks.

 Pecco invites himself to the baby reveal date in the obstetrician (Marco doesn't throw a reveal party, booo) and together they discover that the bug that Bezz is having will be a little boy.

It's Pecco who brings Luca and Franky when Bezz says he's ready to mention it to more people (after finding out the sex of the baby).  Luca is the obvious choice for everything and Franky is Franky, so he has to be there. And they go on a shopping trip - with Pecco’s bonus - so they don't have time to process anything at all.

Franky keeps trying to buy VR46-themed things (why are there so many?) while Luca asks the -no- innocent question of “who is the father?”

4. Does Bezz attempt to remember who the father could be and contact him?

NOW. THIS QUESTION.

Short answer: no :)

Long answer: To each person who asks, Bezz will say a very eloquent “I am the father of the baby :D”.  He admits that he had sex with a lot of people at that time and doesn't remember most of them, so it's not worth looking for the child's other father. The bug is his, he is carrying it in his body and they don't need anyone else.

REAL Answer: Marco absolutely has an idea who the father is and will DIE before telling anyone, not even his family.  He will take that secret to the grave.  When his little bug is born and grows with brown eyes and to have curly brown hair, no one will ask about it anymore.

(when the boy grows up to have blue eyes and straight hair, people have QUESTIONS. Marco is not answering.)

 SORRY IT'S SO LONG it's just- pregbez

[vorchagirl]

If you want to: what if they had met as children for Rennah and James? (or any characters that spark joy with you!)

Okay - so this works pretty well because Rennah and Vega actually discovered that they were both in San Diego at the same time when they were kids. She was in the Reds, and he would have been younger - a kid who's drug addled and abusive father drove him out of the house more often than not.

Also this turned out longer than I thought, so I've put it behind a cut! The art is by Alex Coggin Art :)

James kicked a rock along the beach, too disappointed and angry that he'd come home to an empty house again to pay attention to the night sky like he'd planned. When his mother was alive she would have greeted him with a warm hug and a snack, but since she'd died he had to fend for himself.

But still, he'd hoped that this time, on his birthday of all days, maybe his father would have cared enough to be there.

James sighed.

His father had gone out the night before on a red sand bender and still hadn't returned. For all he knew, his father was dead in a gutter. And for all he cared, he could be. He didn't give a shit anymore.

Nothing felt right in the world since his mother died. His father couldn't be bothered buying him clothes, shoes or anything he needed for school, and the other kids gossiped about it behind his back. They didn't dare say anything to his face; he was too big and scary for that. But they talked about him, sometimes not even bothering to wait until the 'urchin' was out of the room.

He kicked the rock even harder, tears filling his eyes as his ill aimed kick hit more sand than rock, and the pale beach sand sprayed out around him. He heard a muttered curse from the dune near him, and someone sat up, scrubbing their eyes and shaking sand from their clothes.

"Watch it, or I'll knock your teeth down your throat, asshole!"

The shape in the dunes formed into a tall woman with long dark hair as she stood up. No, James amended as she stumbled out, looking every bit as high as his father had the last time he'd seen him, it wasn't a woman, it was a girl. She looked to be only a few years older than himself, but she was tall - easily the same height as him.

She swayed unsteadily, the crackle of biotics in her eyes as she sank back to the sand with a curse and lay back. Her eyes were red, whether it was from the red sand she'd obviously taken, or the tears running down her face he didn't know. She groaned and let out a sob as she flopped back, milky white skin showing through her ripped black jeans.

James hesitated awkwardly, half-wanting to run away from this reminder of his father's own addiction, and half-wanting to help a girl in distress.

"Are you okay?" he asked hesitantly. "I can call someone if you need help-"

She let out a choked sob that slowly turned into a laugh and held up her hands, making a square with her fingers as she framed something in the night sky.

"No one can help me," she muttered thickly. "But one day I'll get away. One day I'll go up there." The girl pointed up at the stars. "Fuck 'em all. They can't stop me."

Her hands were bloodied, he noticed. Her knuckles were raw as though she'd been fighting, and her pale face was dotted with blood.

He had a feeling the girl was in trouble, or that she'd been through something awful. But he wasn't sure what he should do, so he just stood there, listening as she rattled off the constellations above them, her voice slurring more and more.

"One day I'll see them all," she finished. "One day..."

"Yeah," James wasn't entirely sure what he was agreeing to as he interrupted her gently, but he looked up at he night sky. The stars were brighter than usual tonight, and they shimmered above. "One day I'll get away too."

The girl seemed to find this funny and she glanced over at him, tears shining on her cheeks. "What's your deal, kid? Looking to join up?" She flashed a gang tattoo at him and James stumbled back a step when he recognised the mark of the Tenth Street Reds. She laughed again. "Didn't think so. Go home."

Stubbornly, he stepped closer again, embarassed that he'd almost run. "I don't have a home," he muttered. "Not anymore."

There was an awkward silence, filled by her sniffing as she made an effort to fight back tears. Slowly, she sat up again and looked him up and down, looked properly and nodded at what she saw. The girl's eyes flicked up at the stars, and then back in his direction, and she pulled something from her pocket and threw it at him. It was a wad of cash, and James caught it awkwardly, not sure what she expected him to do.

In the distance he heard angry yelling and the revving of bikes.

"Get out of here, kid," she muttered, her voice breaking. "Get out of here before they find me. Use that to get some dinner and don't fucking end up like me." The girl lay back with a grunt and put her hands behind her head, apparently unconcerned with the trouble heading her way. "And if you do make it to the stars, come find me and say hi."

James stumbled back, clutching the money the weird girl had given him and nodded. He didn't know who was coming for the girl, but she was in a gang and covered in blood, and he had street smarts enough to know when trouble was brewing.

One day, he vowed, he would make it to the stars. And if he ever met the tall scary girl again, he'd say thanks.

[melissa-titanium]

Hey, if you were to think up a fankid for N x doll, how would they act and look? (Totally not planning to make one :>)

FUCK. OH MY GOD OK I LITERALLY NEVER THINK OF FANKIDS FUCKING .EVER. I GENUINELY DONT HAVE A SINGLE CLUE INEED TO BRAINSTORM THIS Ok;a.y okay.

i dont see n and doll having a kid. like. okay. i'd have to get into my headcanons for their dynamic for this but essentially POST meeting one another. doll is obviously defensive & protective but more able to have her walls down. she IS very responsible & capable of something like that... but i don't know if she'd necessarily enjoy it ? relying on others is something totally new for her in of itself & having another being *DIRECTLY* rely on her is a whole other realm at the point im imagining. so i dont know if she could handle something like that. you could sort of say uzi had a reliance on her in terms of doll being biased towards. not killing her. but that wasn't an issue for doll because uzi wasnt directly there. okay. FOR N? i mean. potentially. he's plenty responsible and capable of allowing others to rely on him but hes also. kind of a pushover still at this point OK IM THINKING WAY TOO HARD ASBOUT THIS I DONT KNOW. I DONT KNOW. IM NOT. IM. SO INEXPERIENCED WITH FANKIDS UM OK WAIT HOLD ON .RIGHT.ok. name. appearance. riught. ok.

name? not sure. i think they'd be named similarly to yeva -- at the very least starting with a y. cyrillic alphabet offers unique names so... i'll call them Y for now

appearance? god ok. im trying to not go full character design & think about shapes. like. within the canon universe... pilot's hat. like, actual pilot's hat not the weird baseball hat that n has. sort of like doll's dad's hat but with goggles. worker drone, very tall like both their parents. short, scruffy, unkempt hair -- neither doll or n are especially good at taking care of their own hair so neither is Y. usually tied up in a little bun & braided though, courtesy of lizzy coming over sometimes. hair's a very dark grey with a tint of red... like a super desaturated clay-brown

personality? very gentle. probably knows the hardships their parents had faced & is grateful for their life despite everything. a bit shy... took doll's "i dont need other people" and n's "i have to sacrifice myself to get other people to be not mean to me" and mixed it into a "other people scare me, so ill stay in my own little world." they're not outwardly very anxious but shy away from big groups & like to stay on their own. they get along better with adults than other kids their age. they don't have a problem with this, but they usually recieve a lot of grief for it because "kids your age should have lots of friends!" and this made them a touch resentful.

interests... probably pretty sporty and good with their hands. wood carving, trinket crafting (eg; jewelry, bracelets, earrings etc) are their forte. they have the worker-drone innate ability to work with technology, but a distinct knack for *older* in-universe technology, like clocks/watches & compasses or even stuff like automatic vacuums or microwaves. they like taking stuff apart and putting it back together (probably something from their uncle/great uncle??? what the fuck would uzi ((transmasc)) and khan be to them. in my family tree uh. okay) they like solo-sports (hiking, fishing, skiing etc)

holy shit this is longer than i thougjt. oaky

[plural-culture-is]

i fear that i may be a system in denial or something along those lines.

for years of my life, ive struggled with three voices in my head, dissociation, derealization, depersonalization, way-too-over-the-top delusions, hallucinations here and there, and never feeling like who im supposed to be. a few months ago, i thought that it could have to do with undiagnosed schizophrenia or some type of schizo-related disorder (because of the delusions and hallucinations). but recently, ive noticed that these things are all getting worse.

there are more voices. its no longer just the three. and i feel like i should know these voices, even though i dont. they're still strangers to me.

my struggles with dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization have gotten worse---especially the derealization and depersonalization.

my main delusion has been growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more severe. (though the strength of it tends to vary, so...)

nothing's gone on with the hallucinations. at least, i dont think so. i haven't been paying attention.

and my feelings of never feeling "right" or "correct" have gotten so much stronger. i cant go ten minutes without thinking, is this who i really am? am i faking who i am? if im faking my identity, who am i really? why dont i know who i truly am? will i ever learn who i truly am? am i the only one who cant figure out who they are? why do i never feel like im my true self? why do i always faking who i am? how do i act like my true self? does my true self even exist at this point? and et cetera.

i dont think im a system. i dont want to be a system. i dont want to be plural. i already struggle enough with my neurodevelopmental and physical disabilities. i already struggle enough my mental health and with trauma. i dont need the struggles of having did or osdd or something related. i dont want the struggles, either.

but the more and more i research did for my system character in one of my books, i find more that i can relate to. as i mentioned earlier, i used to think that i might be schizophrenic due to my delusions and hallucinations. but just the other day as i was doing more research about did for my character, i found out that its possible for systems and plurals to often struggle with those things. and my brain went down a deep rabbit hole, like, well fuck shit balls, could i possibly be plural? did my trauma fuck me up that much???

as i went down that rabbit hole, i realized that i dont remember a lot of my childhood. i remember a few specific memories, most of which are either traumatic or just funny memories that ive told as stories numerous times. other than that, i know next to nothing. i also have times where i cant remember shit about anything. my name, my age, my address, what schools ive gone to, what school i go to now, what i did ten hours ago, what i did five seconds ago, et cetera. ive also noticed that im constantly remembering those things wrong. "how old are you?" someone could ask. "im thirteen years old," ill say, then correct myself, "no, wait, im x years old." ive even said that im seven years old when im in fact much older than that. people could ask me, "what's your name?" and ill answer with something that's not my name. could be a nickname from school, a nickname from the many summer camps ive gone to, my pen name for my books, or a random name in general. and there are so many examples that i could give.

back to my doing research stuff for my character, i was going through one website when i found an infographic. it was a simple thing; just five common symptoms of dissociative identity disorder. it listed...

~ inability to remember large portions of your childhood

~ out-of-body experiences, hallucinations, and/or flashbacks

~ suicidal thoughts or self-harm

~ differences in handwriting and changing levels of functioning

~ episodes of memory loss

if i dont experience them now, ive experienced all of them before. the first one, i just mentioned. the second one happens all of the fucking time. the third one happens on a daily basis. the first half of the fourth i haven't really noticed, but the second half is very true. and i just talked about the fifth one.

i dont know if i just have some type of dissociative disorder or im just crazy. but i cant get it out of my head that i might be a system or a system in early development. (dont really know how to explain what i mean by "in early development," but ill try to: what i mean is that im in the early developing stages where dissociation starts happening frequently and alters start forming, but switches arent possible yet.) that or ive been forcing myself---if i am plural and in denial---to act like a normal person, just like ive been doing with autism and adhd.

do you have any advice on how to figure out if im a system or not??? i dont have access to a therapist or psychologist due to my parents not believing in mental illness and things like that.

sorry, we've just stopped accepting am I plural asks, so this one goes out to the public

also, here's our resources for questioning systems

[battiegutz]

I talk on here a lot hopefully I’m not weirding you out.

I’ve also rewrote parts of 2012 Tmnt. And I have questions!

So hold up lemme get my list.

First of!

Leo? Trans fem? If so, during what arc would she come out? I have my own ideas but I wanna know yours!

Ships?? (Bats eye lashes)

Ok ok next

Any new designs? Cause I have some for the krang and the big krang robot

Mmm what else… OOo!

Redesigns?

Any other plot points and stuff your adding on too?

I really really like hearing ideas about rewriting parts of 2012 .

Anyway hopefully I’m not weird or annoying! Please tell me if I should calm down on the asking (trust me I would not be offended)

-🪲

FUCK !! YESSSS I LOVE BEIN ASKED QUESTIONS DW IT HELPS ME ACTUALLY BRAINSTORM<3<3

yesss transfem leo :3 idk when she comes out but she doesnt rlly get time to think abt her gender until th farmhouse arc but that gets interrupted when they go back to reverse th invasion (i most recently watched th ep where bebop nd rocksteady got mutated so i only have like. a vague idea of what happens next lol) but i think maybe? it would be before the space arc?? god i need 2 keep watchin💀 YES. SHIPS. GOD OK SO. im a multishipper if its not obvious but fr this particular au/rewrite, im eventually gonna have lesbian aprilnardo bc idk they have a rlly good dynamic i think. side not raph nd april are absolutely besties they love talkin shit. there will also be timatello bc im giving tim an actual arc whattttt🤯🤯🤯🤯 anyway yea LOL timatello<3 altho itll just be pining nd they never get 2gether sadly :( srry th angst won nd someone maybe got a little bit shot😔 ill try to throw some jonatello crumbs in aswell maybe, idk torn between them nd rasey fr why does casey have so much game🤨 oh my god yes i want to ideally redesign all the characters tho idk if ill get around 2 EVERYONE but man im a fruit ofc im changin up these designs. i gave april braces nd freckles bc i think it suits her :3 i also wanna make th kraang in general more like. horrifying? probably not the early series kraang, but w aprils kraang dna in particulat i wanna delve deeper into horror teehee. also wanna make karai more well. shes a teenager bruh i think she shuld be allowed to have her emo era lol. im tryna wait until i get thru like majority of th show to mess w th plot points but some ideas i have involve showing more of the farmhouse arc, and considering a certain. lost limb😶(srry leo lol) itll take a bit longer fr them to get back 2 nyc. also jus gonna try nd fix th weird way 2012 did romance subplots?? why does leo hav a crush on her sister🤢 yea no instead she meets karai in civilian clothes nd they bond nd karai becomes like an older sister to her but then she has to betray leo fr shredder :( not super developed obvs but i think i jus wanted karai to wear trap pants and smoke weed lol. april also shuts down donnie rlly early bc shes a lesbian so shes like. bruh. also my recent art post idk what actually happens in mutant apocalypse but i was thinkin abt how interestin it wuld be if leo was captured by the kraang and used as an experiment bc of her unique mutations :3

[fulltimesapphic]

ok bit of a vent post, i just need to get this shit out of my head and my apple provided journal app doesn't really cover this.

oh and tw. mention of childhood trauma, infections, and some other stuff.... so be careful

im a middle child. you know how everyone says that everyone forgets the middle child? i feel that. my relationship with my parents is so bad. it's gotten a tiny bit better after my older brother left for college but not enough to reverse everything that has hurt me before. tonight, i was making dinner and i walked PAST my parents and when it started burning the bottom, they were pissed at me. I WASN'T EVEN IN THE ROOM. is it that hard to notice someone leaving a pot on the stove and getting up to stir it? i just spent like 20 minutes scrapping at the bottom of this thing because they thought i was still in the kitchen and didn't notice me walking past them.

when i was younger i didn't know how to cut my nails and my toenails would get cut too short and when it was growing back, it would open the skin a bit and get infected. it happened several times, and every time it happened my mom would be so disappointed in me. it hasn't happened in years and it's happened again. i haven't told her. i know it will probably get worse the longer i wait to get her help instead of trying to apply antibiotic cream and trying not to cry while i clean it but i can't face that again. it also really physically hurts. it hurts regardless but it hurts a lot when mom does it. in both ways.

i can't be vulnerable. with almost anybody. like there is so much stuff that it is hurting me right now but i don't know how to tell them. you know that tik tok trend where people are like showing off the skills they learned in clubs while a guy breaks into their house? ya i could never do that cause guess what? i was never in any clubs. my older brother? absolutely, younger? obviously. me? nope. i want to tell my mom. i want to tell her that im hurting. physically and emotionally. but i can't. i can't find the words. my parents never listening to me will probably ruin my future life in so many ways, but i can't get help! i can't tell anyone what's going on!

there's so much more but i think ill save that for another mental breakdown.

[justgoo0se]

GOOFY BIRTHDAY SHIT

guess who's birthday is coming up

MEEEE

So anyways, gonna talk about how strange they are

like, you celebrate going around in a circle around the sun, and how many times that has happened, usually ads one candle to your cake. But I find it. so strange that its so widely televised that every birthday is just another party. Wouldn't it get tiring of having birthday bashes every birthday??? I like eating cake. mostly. if it s not too sugary, but like come on man. Most of the times what one is going to do is just vibe, eat some cake, hang out with friends to celebrate you're one year closer to death

and also probably trying to ignore how most of your friends may or may not have already started doing drugs. I mean, I get only one life to live and shit but dude??? at least wait until you're on your death bed and have the most WILD FUCKING DEATH BASH OF ALL TIME

maybe thats jsut me tho. Either way, I'm going to maniacally giggle as I set up a birthday discord call and just spam people with quack quack quack and then leave eating some cake. Absolute baller, have you ever just wanted to some crazy ass shit reserved for a party?? Get free food?? Be born!! It's your greatest acheivement, and BOOM!!! when you make it one year- 52 weeks of your life and you're still at least breathing?? celebrate with a shit ton of sugar and staring up at your ceiling on your birthday and wonder how the fuck you're one year older and how did you make it this far

and be proud

Simply something as simple as a birthday should totally be celebrated! Who knows, maybe you've gone through tough shit. Maybe you're battling an addiction that could kill you. Maybe you've tried some things in the past to cut your time short. Maybe you're battling an illness, no matter the kind. Maybe there are days where you just.. don't know if you can go on. Either way, you don't have to celebrate. Don't have to eat cake or be social. It's your birthday. Be proud you made it 52 more weeks.

I know I am. This year has been absolutely BALLING. It's giving 'holy shit, am I just going to stay this way forever, will things be okay, will I ever recover, will I hold on for just a little longer'

Honestly, I've had days where I was just. ready to give up. Not make it so I can yell at the world that I don't give a SHIT and I am going to LIVE. I've had times and episodes where all thats on my mind is move, move. Make it. Breath. Don't give up. Reach out where you can. but in those times, what got me moving was focusing on moving one finger at a time. Stutter my breathing, try to hum. I don't have to yell physically at the world that whatever fucking walls you shove my way I'll break it down.

Because sometimes I'm not strong enough to move through those. Sometimes I have to climb them. Sometimes I just have to wait. To break one brick at a time. It may not be chaotic, violent, or fun, but on the other side there will always be more. More ways to cause chaos, to have fun. To live, move, breath.

Every day, hell, every week may not be your week. It may not be your month. You may be struggling to even drag yourself out of bed or even eat anything. You may not be able to sleep at night but pass out while waiting for a friend to respond to a message. You may want to draw, dance, laugh, sing, write, play, but you're unable to bring yourself to. But what matters is you made it another day. You may be bored as fuck waiting. Just sitting. Doing nothing but wait.

But before you can have patience with anything, you have to have patience with yourself. break shit down. Know that some things may not last. That some friendships are bound to fade. Some days are hell and back. That one day you may die to anything. but you also have to take into account the joy and happiness you have in the present. You have to cherish who you have now, even if you know, even if it nags you that you two may split ways. However you also have to take into account that one day, things will be okay. Sure, they won't be perfect, but it'd be breathable. It'd be just enough. and sometimes, just enough is enough. It doesn't hurt to strive for better, but it hurts to shame what you have now. It hurts to lose sight of the happiness and life you have now. Rushing into things isn't for everyone. But companionship and support go longer ways that slaving away at life so you can live a 'perfect' life. Sometimes people forget to be content with what they have and strive for better.

So, for anyone who also has a birthday coming up, or simply just need to hear it: Happy birthday motherfucker

enjoy your life while you can, you never know when your book ends, but it's better to enjoy it than wait for impending doom.

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 03/12/2024:

I'm interested to know what your writing process is like! I know you have several wips right now (and I'm so excited to get to read them hopefully in the future) so how do you choose what to work on? Do you just write on the wip depending on your mood for the day? or do you stick to one until you finish it and then move on to the next one? Do you also do outlines or just go in with feelings?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION SINCE I MADE MY RETROSPRING ANON I QUITE LITERALLY LOVE YOU (yes... i am an attention whore and narcissist that likes talking about myself i am so sorry) but . um. sorry i get excited. i just like chatting and discussing things 🥹🥹

so one thing about me is i TRY to choose what to work on and make lists but i ultimately fail. i don't control shit. you will see my tweet about wip lists on twt "i will finish gumakeria aml spinoff for valentines day" no im fucking not. "ok i work on this in march, this during summer..." no i absolutely wont. im not listening to a thing. i just work on whatever im inspired by atm. its all very messy and uncoordinated. i have wips from last year i haven't finished, yet i have a published fic that i thought of and completed in two weeks (??). make it make sense. some of my older wips need to be let out of the dungeon i nEED to work on them. SOME OF THEM DONT EVEN MAKE SENSE TO BE RELEASED ANYMORE BECAUSE ITS LIKE TIME-RELATED AND my own self ruined that. like i have 2023 summer fics in the works. i could've written and released them during worlds?? but no i worked on aml instead. by the time i release those time-relevant fics its going to be so long ago. will anyone care about them? should i even write them at this point? i don't know. :| why am i a mess. my mind is literally a mess. why do i do this to myself.

so yeah, i just choose to work on based on vibes/how i feel which leads to a lot of fics in the dungeon. i will eventually get re-inspired and finish those, but who knows how long that's going to take. i do work on one wip at a time pretty much, but not necessarily until i finish it. oftentimes ill choose an idea and finish it then move onto the next one, but like i said, sometimes i will abandon said wip to go work on and finish another. i have like 10k of a camp half blood au rotting in the dungeon. also 8k of this piltover au gumaoner ive been trying to finish since may of last year. longfics also fuck up my schedule a bit because of how... long they are. i usually work on them consistently for quite a while and work on other smaller fics in the meantime. i think i started the hunger games au in may of 2023? im not even close to done because i kinda jotted down the starting ideas, didn't touch it until november (so, after i finished writing "all my love"), and then like didnt touch it all of worlds bc i was pissed off at it. then i picked it up again in 2024 (rewriting all 50k i had written previously) and that's what im working on in the background rn. "background" as in i will put it aside if i have a shorter fic idea to work on and quickly publish. like i abandoned it for 2 weeks to work on the kindred showmaker&chovy fic. you see what i mean?

all my wips typically start with an idea and one or two lines of dialogue. ("imagine being loved by me" started with the two lines "where do i belong / with me, of course.") or i'll listen to music to get an idea which the lines/scene then spawn from, or i see some picture of some proplayer (keria with "don't blame me") ill jot them on a google doc or a discord server, and then when im inspired ill expand on it, and eventually finish it! a lot of my scene ideas happen in my head before writing. sometimes ill think whole scenes through in my head, including dialogue and actions, before putting it to paper (or, document on the computer i guess). other times it just comes as i write. sometimes i write fics in one sitting ("homemade dynamite") but most of the time its longer than that, whether it be a week or like, months lol.

as for outlines, i do not use outlines. barely, anyway. honestly, outlines would probably help me a lot! i used them twice i think (both recent fics, huh), once with "take a bite" because fluff is so fucking hard to write i needed help, and another time with "the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb" because i wrote the ending for that fic first and needed help filling it in. but yeah, generally no outlines. oftentimes i have a whole detail of the story in my head to begin with, or i just write and sees what comes out. again, i am not organized in the least. rip me.

i also... don't write chronologically as you might've been able to tell. i like bounce between wips and scenes. the very first scene of aml i wrote was actually the scene of wooje driving the mustang again for the first time in chapter one! typically, like i said, my wip ideas will start with a few scene, and only once i have those down will i write chronologically to link up the other scenes and complete the fic!

soo i hope that sort of like explained/gave you some insight on my very messy writing process (i have a very messy brain.) as a parting gift i will give you a wip list that i will definitely not follow. do not fucking trust me. 1. hunger games au. 2. worlds fakenut. 3. yeah why am i making a list im not going to follow it. BUT I WANT TO FINISH THE HUNGER GAMES AU SO BAD ITS TAKING SO LOOOOONG OH MY GOD. okay, anyway. i love you. thank you so much for asking 🥹🫶🫶!! i hope you have an amazing day <3

[patd--phan]

Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Dadsbestfriend! Bucky (mid/late 40s) x reader (in early/mid twenties)

Summary: Y/N surprises bucky on a business trip and he promises to be hers.

Warnings: SMUTTY stuff (18+ only pleasee), unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m receiving), riding, teasing, significant age gap, reader takes charge, “Doll/sweets/baby/sweetheart”, some cute ass shit at the beginning and end tho

WC: about 3K im sorry I was really H*rny yesterday and I was unable to do anything about it as i was stuck in the car all damn day

Note: So I was really h*rny yesterday and this happened lol I’m sorry. Loosely based on the song wanna be yours-arctic monkeys. Also this will probably be the only smut I ever write bc I don’t wanna become an 18+ blog or make anyone uncomfortable (not that 18+ blogs are bad tho lemme set that straight, most of my fav blogs are)

PS thank you for the love on my first ever fic with Peter Parker x reader, it made me so happy that ppl didn’t think I suck lol ( and i guess i lied saying i would probably never write another one shot lol)

You do NOT have my permission to repost this anywhere, I will come for u if you plagiarize ok bye

It was no secret that Bucky liked to be in charge in the bedroom, and you had absolutely no problem with that. After all, he was older and more experienced; he knew how to make your body sing. But this week you were craving something a little different. Bucky had been away on a business trip all weekend and you really missed him, not just the sex (but I mean…) but just cuddling and talking to him about your day; you were feeling clingy. You decide to text bucky even though you knew he couldn’t answer right away because he was currently in a meeting.

Y/N: I mis youu :( when will you be back tomorrow?

You just wandered around your apartment for the next 20 minutes, casually checking your phone about every 30 seconds just in case bucky was able to sneak in a text. He finally replied after 30 minutes, right as his meeting was ending at 3.

Bucky: Hey doll, I miss you too <3

Bucky: unfortunately one of the investors this morning had to push their meeting to late tomorrow afternoon, so I’m not gonna be home until very late tomorrow night :(

Y/N: dammit :(

Y/N: well good luck at the pitch meeting tomorrow, I love and miss you <3

Bucky: don’t gimme that pout I know your making doll, ill see you tonight on facetime! :)

Y/N: haha u know me so well, and yes you’ll see me tonight ;) (but I still miss u)

Bucky: I know doll I hate it too, see you tonight. Love you <3

Y/n: love you too <3

You didn’t know if you could go until late Monday without seeing bucky. As you laid on the couch smiling sadly about missing your love, an idea popped into your head. He was only two and a half hours away, and he wouldn’t be back at his hotel for another 4 hours at least. Fuck it, you were gonna go drive to his hotel and surprise him. You couldn’t be away so long, you felt super clingy this weekend and you needed to be on top of with him.

You quickly ran around your apartment, packing an overnight bag and you saw the package that arrived earlier on your floor that you completely forgot about because you couldn’t stop thinking of Bucky. You remembered its contents e(a completely evil lingerie set) and threw it in the bag with a smirk on your face.

The drive to Bucky’s hotel felt like forever and you had to remind yourself to stop speeding because you were so excited. When you finally got to his hotel, you had to convince the manager to give you a key to his room, proving that you were the man’s girlfriend with several pictures on your phone which was slightly embarrassing because in almost every picture, at least one of you was half-naked. Worth it. You thought. When you arrived in his room you quickly went into the bathroom to change into a little black dress (with a surprise underneath). Then as you were sitting on his bed waiting for him, you realized it would still be a while before he would get back, so you decided to tidy up his things, packing his clothes and organizing his suitcase. Pleased with your work, you sat back down on the bed and looked at your phone for a while. You finally got pulled out of your Instagram daze when you heard Bucky’s voice in the hallway laughing at something a coworker said. You quickly threw your phone on the dresser, straightened up you dress, and sat at the edge of the bed with a huge smile on your face, giddy to surprise him.

As he turned the doorknob he was still looking behind him talking to the man. When he finally said goodbye and turned his head around, his eyebrows raised up and his jaw dropped, which was quickly replaced with a smile even larger than yours.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, running towards you and throwing his briefcase on the floor.

He picked you up in a tight hug and you squealed, legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

“I told you you’d see me tonight!” you said, still clung to him like a koala.

“W-what?” He replied, still in shock. Letting your legs fall back to the floor.

“I just missed you too much” you shrugged.

If any human could embody “heart eyes” it was Bucky at that moment- he’s such a softie for you. He pulled your face towards him and gave you one of the most loving kisses you’ve ever had in your life. You were expecting it to be passionate and rough, but it was soft, delicate and loving, and your heart melted into a puddle. After your lips parted, you gazed into each other’s eyes before being pulled up in another tight hug. You giggled and wrapped your legs around him again.

“I guess you missed me too huh?” you laughed.

“Oh doll, you have no idea.”

You wrapped your hands in his hair, massaging his neck and he moaned loudly.

“Mm, that feels nice.” He hummed.

“You tired baby?” you asked, he seemed like he needed some TLC (and you were ready to give it to him).

“I am so exhausted.” He replied, making you frown behind his back.

You slowly slid down his body, back onto your feet again, and kept massaging his head. He looked at you lovingly before looking around his hotel room, his eyebrows pulled in confusion.

“Did you clean up in here?”

“Yep, while I was waiting for ya,” you replied, smiling.

His whole face softened.

“Oh, I really don’t deserve you doll.” Making you smile and shake your head.

“Oh yes you do.” You replied making him smile and his heart flutter in his chest.

He pulled you in for another kiss, this one with more fire and longing in it than the last one. His large hands grabbed you ass to pull you closer to him and you moaned into the kiss. You pressed your body against him even tighter and ran your hands through his hair making him moan. You could feel his pants tent start to grow against you and you smirked and moved you lips down to the side of his neck making him groan.

You pull back and look at him, hard and eyes half lidded, it turns you on so much you feel your panties dampening.

“Hey Buck?” you whisper, lips mere inches apart.

“Hmm?” he hums in response.

“I have another surprise for you.” You whisper into his ear before pulling back to look at his face.

“What’s that, doll?” he whispers.

You smirk and step away from him, noticing the confusion on his face before you pull your dress over your head and throw it onto the floor.

Bucky’s jaw drops, making you bite your lip and smirk even more. This was gonna be fun.

“Oh, fuck me,” He groans.

“Oh, I fully intend on it, Buck” you smirk.

He just groans and starts walking towards you.

“Buck?”

“Yeah sweets?”

“Wanna be mine tonight?”

“Fuck, I’ll be yours forever doll.” He says, making you whimper. You pull him against you by his tie, pressing your bodies together.

Your lips crash and tongues swirl together fighting for dominance. Hands moving up and down each other’s bodies like animals. Bucky squeezing your ass so tight you know there’s gonna be marks.

You both pull back enough so you can shimmy off Bucky’s tie and throw it over his head before unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off him. You then sink to your knees and undo his belt quickly before slowly unzipping his pants, kissing the outside of his member though his pants making him exhale a breath sharply.

“Fuck” he breathes out.

You don’t want to tease him too much (yet) so after another kiss, you shove his pants off and lay down on the bed, his body caging you under him.

The passionate makeout session resumes with Bucky still hard in his boxers pressing against your clothed core. You suddenly remember what you wanted and pull back from the kiss.

“Wait, no” you whisper.

Bucky pulls back, confused and nervous he did something to hurt you.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers.

You take advantage of his confusion and roll him over so you were straddling him with a smirk on your face.

Bucky moans at your actions, core pressing tight against him.

“You said you’d be mine.” You breathe over his lips. Moaning as being in charge is giving you a whole rush of feelings and confidence.

You kiss him, and he lets you dominate the kiss this time, biting his lips and grinding on him. He bucks his hips onto your and you pull back.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll make you feel so good.”

Bucky moans at your words as you start to kiss all the way down his body, leaving little hickies down his chest. When you get towards his boxers he thinks your gonna kiss his member or pull down his boxers, but instead you go back up his chest, licking a stripe from his belly button all the way to one of his nipples, up his neck, to his lips.

Bucky moans, loud. You give him one more kiss before deciding to stop teasing him (kinda). You quickly kiss down his chest again and then plant a few kisses on his aching cock through his boxers. He bucks his hips and is whimpering under you. Fuck, that turns you on. Your big strong boyfriend who could probably crush you with one arm, whimpering and practically begging under you. Your panties are fucking soaked and you don’t think you can deny your own pleasure too much longer. You pull down his boxers and his cock is throbbing and dripping precum.

“Shit” you moan at the sight.

You lick the precum off him and he gives a high pitched moan that goes straight to your core.

“Baby please, I- I can’t.”

“Don’t worry baby I got you.” You reply as you take his full member into your mouth, sucking lightly.

Bucky moans and bucks his hips into your mouth. You push them back down and suck a few more times before getting off of him. He looks worried for a second before you slide your panties off and straddle his cock.

“Still wanna be mine?”

“Always” he replies.

You sink down onto him, jaw dropping and eyes closing at the feeling. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to him no matter how many times he’s been inside you. You both moan as his whole cock is finally buried inside you.

“Fuck Bucky, you feel so fucking good in me.” You moan, starting to rock your hips.

“God, I’m so fucking wet for you.”

Bucky continues to give low moans as you start to ride him.

“Fuck baby, I love you like this.” He says, making you start to ride him harder, moaning at his words.

His hands come grab your hips to help you ride him faster, harder.

“Baby- shit I’m close already.” He pleads.

“All for me? Shit baby aren’t I the lucky one?” You moan.

Bucky’s grip on your hips tighten and he starts to fuck up into you. He was about to blow.

You moan loudly at the feeling. “Cum in me baby please I need it.”

After a particularly hard thrust into your wet pussy you feel him spilling inside you. He lets out one of those vulgar high pitched moans and grunts that make your brain short circuit and your eyes roll back while your pussy clenches around him. You feel yourself getting close, but you want to give him another orgasm, so you sink down on him fully and slowly ride him, hearing him whimpering and moaning. You feel him get hard in you again (thank you supersoldier serum) and you rock back and forth on him. You reach down to rub your clit, but Bucky sees it and swats your hand away, replacing it with his metal one.

“Oh fuck” you moan at the cool sensation.

You start to bounce up and down on him again, the knot in your abdomen building and heating up. You feel yourself close to being undone as you ride him and his other hand runs up your body and squeezes your nipple through your thin lace bra. You moan and feel yourself clench around him, making him moan.

“Fuck- I’m gonna c-“ you get interrupted by the white hot explosion of your orgasm. Your eyes roll back, jaw hangs open and toes curl as you feel that release knock throughout your whole body, making you shake. You let out those high pitched moans and whines that only Bucky makes you feel.

Feeling you clench around him and watching your completely fucked out face, you feel Bucky’s thick cock twitch inside of you, and you moan as you feel him release in you again. Fuck that makes you feel good. So good you can’t think or move and you start to collapse on top of Bucky, but he slightly catches you and lays you down on his chest, both breathing heavy, with his cock still inside you, cum dripping all down your legs and onto Bucky.

You can’t speak, can’t think, the pleasure totally ruining you. After what feels like forever, you feel your breathing start to return to normal, as does Bucky’s, and you feel his hand rubbing up and down your back, grounding you back to earth from wherever on cloud nine you were.

You hum as you feel yourself finally calm down.

“Holy fuck, doll” you feel him lowly whine in your ear. You can only moan lowly in response.

“Baby that was fucking amazing.”

“Mmhmm.” You hum.

“…but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if you keep clenching around me.” He chuckles.

“oh shit, sorry,” you mumble out. You try to push up off of him but the farthest you got was placing your hands on his shoulders before your body gave up on you.

“Oh my God, I can’t move” you whisper. You’re so fucked out, your body won’t respond to your brain anymore.

Bucky moans at your words and slowly rolls both of you so youre on your side facing him. He reaches down and pulls his soft cock out of your pussy, moaning when he sees a burst of cum leaking from you.

You moan at the feeling of him exiting your body. You look him in the eyes and give him a lazy smile. His eyes sparkle back at you and his hand comes up to rub your cheek.

“Mm” you hum at the feeling.

“That was fucking incredible” he says, making you smile wider.

“I’m not disagreeing” you quip.

He chuckles lightly before saying “you gotta do this more often.”

“What, surprise you on business trips?” you question.

“No” he rolls his eyes and smiles, “Well yes actually, but I was talking about you absolutely taking charge tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” you smirk.

“Fuck yeah doll, I don’t think I’ve ever cum as hard. You looked so damn sexy in charge.”

You look away from his eyes, shying at his words, but also they were giving you the confidence to look right back into his eyes and say “I agree” with a smirk.

“I love hearing those high pitched moans you make, It turns me on so much” you admit.

“You know, only you can get those noises out of me, doll” he chides. You blush and smile at him.

He chuckles and you bring his face towards yours and kiss him deeply, tongues meeting together. You both hum into the kiss as his hand rubs down the side of your body.

When you break the kiss, both of you needing a breath, he pulls your body towards him, resting your head on his chest. You hum in peace as he rubs your back.

“I love you so much Y/N” he says and you feel your heart absolutely burst in your chest.

“I love you so much too Buck,” you reply, lifting your head to peck him on the lips before placing your head back on his chest.

You lay in silence for a minute before your mind begins to wander again.

“Did you mean it?” you ask.

“Mean what, doll?”

“That you’ll be mine forever?” you ask. “I mean not just in the sexy way but that you’ll be with me forever?” you ramble out.

“God yes sweetheart, you’re the one for me.” He responds and you didn’t think your heart could explode anymore, but it just did.

You squeeze his shoulder with your hand before coming up to kiss him passionately again, almost crying at all of the love going though you.

“I promise I’m all yours forever too, Buck” you smile at him.

“Good,” he smiles back, and you rest back on his chest, eyes getting droopy.

“Night-night sweetheart.” You feel yourself smile in your sleep.

“Goodnight my love.” You reply, further cuddling into his chest. Bucky feels his heart combust in his chest. God, wasn’t he lucky to have you. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew that he was going to assure you that you deserve the world every day for the rest of his life. He kissed the top of your head before falling into a deep sleep, content with his favorite person tight in his arms.