#but also having thoughts about my OCs
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So yeah going to bed yesterday at almost five am once again means that I am sleepy tired. Fighting the sleepy to daydream about the blorbos from my brain
#me feeling so so sleepy so tired so cuddle my seahorse squishmallow think about my dead dad run my ac try to cry curl up under blanket#but also having thoughts about my OCs#not thoughts in a writey way just thoughts in a rotating them in my head and going thru Pinterest and Spotify trying to see what gives me#motivation for their characters so I can properly assess the changes in myself which have affected my writing and therefore how I shape#these characters except they were already based on mental illnesses and situations from my early teens and now I’m trying to make them grow#in the same way I grew but they won’t have the same circumstances as me so it’ll be hard to explain them emotionally being similar to me#basically I need to figure out how my mind works to find how their minds work to find how they can best fuck nasty in my head in a way that#I can write it down between intense chapters about sloppy teenage romance#anyways. yeah. having thoughts but nothing new and nothing worth writing#🔥
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💖🎊the end, & thank you for reading!!🎊💖
im so thankful for all the support i got on this story, and i wouldn't have finished it if not for all of you, and for the love i got for seb and clora. so thank you again for giving me the motivation to write this 600k+ monster, and to see it through to the very end. LOVE YALL💖🫶 (ao3/wattpad)
#THAAATS ALL FOLKS#so surreal that after over a year i wont have the thought in the back of my mind of 'oh i need to start on the next chap soon'#its freeing but also empty🥲 im sure ill still have moments where im like CRAP I NEED TO UPDATE--oh wait nvm LOL#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#choccyart#my first ever longfic i managed to finish... all my other attempts in other fandoms i fizzled out at like 60k or 70k words#all thanks to yall supporting my brainrot 🙏🙏whether it was a year ago or a day ago🙏#there are some regular readers i had in the VERY beginning that i still think about BAHAHA......hope theyre doing good#and if they ever remember my fic and think about reading it again AT LEAST ITS ACTUALLY COMPLETE AND GOOD TO GO WOO#i feel so accomplished...SIDEQUEST COMPLETE😤
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.
Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
#love how i said id slow down on fanart. and then didnt. anyway. the bg is supposed to be a ocean shore but its vague intentionally.#ALSO SORRY FOR DRAWING EVERYONE FACING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA ALL THE TIME? WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT IN MY ISAT STUFF. HELLO? HELLO??? WHY???#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#sifloop#lucabyteart#hi again sifloop tag. read this as you will. go nuts. i know you people are here for the crumbs.#if you want other thoughts re: what they do/do not remember on instinct. i wonder what their culture's bonding ceremony equiv is.#since they dont seem to have any answers to that. perhaps since not directly asked during that conversation. hm. feels like a cute fic idea#not that ill be executing on that.#ill be damned if i bare my ass on ao3. i can barely write about my ocs without feeling like im naked on stage. i salute your kind's bravery#also sorry if the dialogue here is hard to parse what order its in. its a zigzag of some kind im not fighting my absolutely ass typesetting#samdontlook
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A considerable amount of makeup was used to cover Deeva's freckles and face marks, and Cater also had to use magic to make her clothes his size. They did this as a joke, but they sure were committed to it! 💪
Original style swap challenge by @ashipiko ! (see her post here!!) If anyone wants to give it a try, go ahead, it's really fun!!! <3
#I could finally finish this!!!#thought it would be super cursed but why does CayCayfied Deeva actually look good??#well and Cater uhh... I can't look at him for long without laughing he looks like a sad wet cat 😭😭#Cater is lucky Deeva has long hair. He can fidget with it all he wants in class while being subtle about it#Also are those really his freckles or just makeup?? Hmm hmm I'll leave it to everyone's opinion~#personally I've always been VERY fond of the headcanon that he actually has freckles <33#And no I didn't forget to draw her wings. Cater's jacket doesn't have slits on the back so they're just a tiny lump under the fabric HDFHDH#Oh but please do imagine Cater having a paper with poorly drawn wings taped on his back. It's a very funny thought#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.
I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)
Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.
Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.
The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.
Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.
Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.
Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.
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#imagine if Vaschete but CATS and REVERSED -> Butter knife ;_; and Flamengo <3#this ask is from last year and I'm sorry I've allowed it sit in my inbox for so long ´m`#but I've been thinking about it intermittedly#the context was that someone said that somewhere out there existed my mortal enemy (felis atra = black/dark cat)#and they had frenzied cat ocs instead of melancholic dogs#first of all they both look so darling I'm getting radiation poisoning just from looking at them aaaaaa#and the fact you put so much thought and effort into this concept is making me go absolutely rabid#extremely strange seeing Machete with big pupils and Vasco with tiny pinpoints#Butter knife purring like a fluffy jackhammer is instant serotonin I love him#and yes if you turned Machete to a cat he'd probably be something resembling an oriental shorthair#especially one of those really exaggerated ones with giant bat ears and roman nose#and I keep visualizing Vasco as a scottish fold as well but it's kind of giving me sad bad feels personally#I can't look past their painful and debilitating health issues#the same mutation that causes the floppy ears also destroys the cartilage in their joints#it's such a shame because they're a terribly cute and charming breed#and in this case they really do have those similar rounded friendly shapes that Vasco does#if I ever draw them as cats myself I'll probably have to think of some other breed for him even though it would be such a perfect fit#also I think it's funny how you can swap everything else but Machete's heels have to stay :'> don't separate the crinkle and his boots#thank you so much! this was such a cool ask to receive I love how you designed their cat forms#gift art#dingergum#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Vaschete scenarios
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my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#ex bandmates#trolls oc#hed#les#my art#this drawing is very old already but i really wanted to write a oneshot to go with it#because i have story in my mind that led to this particular moment#but ALAS. no motivation for writing#lets just say he had a shit class meeting about their end of elementary school prom where he got singled out and everyone collectively...#...decided that he can't participate in the traditional dance because he's too short (unless. an asshole classmate proposed. he finds...#..a dancing partner in like the 2nd grade. and the class teacher looked thoughtful instead of reprimanding that student.)#basically no one not even his friends stood up for him and it made him feel like a class nuisance they were trying to sweep under the rug#living in vibe city made him such an outcast in general. he did a lot of crying over wanting to be a funk troll and fit in :((#and of course les would blame himself for every one of his problems#ughuguguhugh#i have shed physical tears thinking about these two idiots who can't let go of resentment for each other but also love each other so so muc#fuck i'm crying again#someone put me out of my misery
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what if they were meaner and also were in love
#my art#I think they had soooo much potential for angst#the way partner doubted hero OOOOUGH I really wish that lasted longer#hero is pretty insecure and they're so sure they ARE the human from the legend#and partner keeps denying that possibility. they support hero but like... only under the condition of them being innocent#OOOUHGGRRRR I have so many thoughts about these two but I have no time I have to go take this goodbye#also I pictured hero as kind of a bitch from the beginning but they really aren't at all. bonnie is tho#pmd rescue team#pmd rt#pmd#pmd ocs#Bonnie/Eevee#Tangerine/Treecko
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Here's a big post of some of my doodles of [Cap'n and crew] that I haven't posted yet! Couple are comics, couple are shitposts, you know how it goes.
(Also have some extra character tidbits beneath the cut!)
Cap'n (she/they) has become a Spongebob-adjacent "married to the job" type with sprinklings of "they are not immune to rose-tinted Company propaganda". Cartoonishly loyal to work, she's more upset about lying to the boss about her condition over actually becoming a monster on work time (though she isn't particularly a fan of being a monster, either).
Skeets (she/her) was already implied to be pretty optimistic and curious, but I've doubled down on this. She's constantly curious about entities and the state of her co-workers, asking questions and absorbing new information. She's also extremely lucky when it comes to encountering entities.
Mav (she/him), as implied by her nearly leaving Cap'n behind in the first comic, has become a "I won't hesitate, bitch" bitch. Split second decisions aren't an issue for her, she WILL shoot first and ask questions later. (She also now has a gambling addiction, haha. LOVES betting credits on things)
Kid (he/him) is now Irish. I will not elaborate. He's kind of literally the same otherwise. He's also in major inherited debt because of a Company-caused clerical error, but don't worry about it.
Uh. That's about it, I suppose!
#artists on tumblr#lethal company#lethal company oc#lethal company eyeless dog#eyeless dog#blind dog#werecreature#wereeyeless dog#eyeless weredog#I started adding to this draft back in the beginning of july gUHJNFKFD I'm really bad about posting my stuff#I thought about waiting till I finished up a DIFFERENT comic I'm working on rn but like. man whateverrrr it can be posted later#Anyways I've actually been drawing a lot of stuff with another friend's LC OC too! MAYBE those will get their own post later?#(Mav's voice has shifted to Linda Belcher's and Skeets to BMO from Adventure Time cause of their suggestions!)#(also for Kid... by major debt I mean like... a cool 1 million credits type of level of debt. maybe more. and it was The Company's fault)#they also all have canonical least favorite entities but I might make a sketch about that later hOILJKFD#I also have been quietly developing that were-kidnapper fox concept I posted about a while ago because. I'm? Predictable???#also also jsyk I love the maneater. I LOVE THEMMMMMM love them! ZEEKERS!! MAKE A MANEATER PLUSHIE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!#blood cw#capn tag#sfw#my draws
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I am nothing if I don't follow the whims of my heart wherever they may lead!!! Lazytown self insert!! 😳💖💖
She lives in Lazytown and I'm debating whether to make her Stephanie's cousin or just another citizen, but either way the particular reason she isn't as active as she could be is she's scared of EVERYTHING. Yes, I've thrust upon her my issues with anxiety (inspired partly by the recent wave I've been experiencing over the past few days 😅) she's scared of cars, birds, germs, certain types of bugs, and it leads to her feeling safer at home.
The lessons she learns with Sportacus and the others are to teach that even though the world can be scary, you can overcome it and get out there and experience all the good in it! 🥺💖
Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @changeling-selfship @crushes-georg @miutonium @cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @rejaytionships @sunflawyer @in-true-blue-love @tropicalgothships @little-miss-selfships @cupiidzbow (as always pls let me know if you need to be added or removed!)
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self shipping community#self insert community#romantic selfship#fictional other#lazytown#sportacus#sportacus lazytown#lazytown oc#🍎 apple of my eye 🍎#HRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!#I DONT KNOW MAN WHO AM I TO DENY MYSELF SMALL JOYS AND COMFORTS!!!!!!!#i think i really like him 😭😭😭#and god do i need something as fun and silly and lighthearted as this show lately!! its so nice!#also hehe freddie/rudy inspired me to post the second pic bcs of his more rough/sketchy art!!#like it doesn't have to be super polished to look great 🥺🥺 thank you feddie!!!!#and the second pic is meant to be like.....my s/i was about to trip or maybe fall into a hole#and he did an unnecessary backflip before running in to save her!!!#I GUESS YOU'LL SEE MORE SOON + THOUGHTS#i definitely hope so at least ���💖💖
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" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "
i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...
also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.
#my urge to attempt writing a fic based on this is SO STRONG. even though i do not have a lot of experience w/ fic writing#buT GAAAA I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LAST TWO EPISODES AND KUROBA....#it's hard to put into words rn but god there's so much.....#like. kuroba trying to help out matsuyo behind the scenes since they sympathize with how hard things can be when i loved one ->#is in the hosptial due to something that could've been life threatening ( matsuzou's heart attack & chouji's hip + leg injury )#i also think they personally delivered some get-well flowers to matsuzou and checked up on him in the hospital#that's not even getting into everything that happens after the sextuplets die...#i won't go into it rn but there's a reason why matsuyo & matsuzou are very keen on kuroba marrying into the family#ALSO I FINALLY DREW A BACKGROUND AGAIN AFTER 50 YEARS#now ya'll have a lil insight on what the inside of kuroba's shop looks like hehe#hopefully my rambling is making sense rn. i hope it is 😭#osmt#yumematsu#osomatsu-san oc#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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I’m thinking about supernatural spies again…
#I’m so not normal about them#I just think that they should be allowed to go a little bit feral#of course by a little I mean a whole lot#let them be deranged every once in a while as a treat I think#this was so fun to draw but I mean when do I not have fun drawing the spies fr#I love supernatural characters#I have a lot of supernatural creature OCs so I fuckin love doing this with Saf#god I love saf aus#I adore putting these guys in different situations#anyways yeah werewolf curt and vampire Owen my beloveds#fun fact time#fun fact: dogs like classical music#idk I thought that one was really cute#also so do cats- in fact people have made classical music pieces specifically for cats#agent curt mega#owen carvour#curt mega#joey richter#vampire!owen#werewolf!curt#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#spies are forever fanart#spies are forever au#my art#:)#cw blood#cw guns#cw eyestrain
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So, about that one AU that's been marinating in my mind for years
#'second canvas will be just simple sketches' *half cleans sketches* *adds base color* *adds shading* *adds bg* WHY AM I LIKE THIS 😭#anyway- you know how the flower that gave Rapunzel her powers (and also the Kingdom) is associated with the sun?#well. here it's the opposite bc Deeva is moon coded! :]#Gotta love the fact that her wings emphasize the bird in a cage symbolism....#Ofc she doesn't have much experience flying in this AU since Mother Gothel forbid her from going outside#Talking about Mother Gothel... it's Azul HGSAHD#at first I thought maybe Vil or Crewel? but since the character later kinda makes a deal w the twin thieves it fitted him more(?)#Also yes. Cater's alias is Cameron Mägi bc... Mägi Cameron..... Magicam.... 💀💀#it doesn't sound as cool as Flynn Rider but honestly I didn't know what to call him LMAO#I'll be back w this AU someday! I still haven't drawn the iconic lantern scene!!!!#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art
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I think my OC and Sun Wukong's entire relationship dynamic is that both don't think much about marriage or love or relationships, but they both clearly act like they have been married for 50 years with the way the bicker and banter but also just be there for each other but they'd totally get married and claim because it just made life easier for both of them like yeah the celestial court and all the others are getting off his back now and she has an extra layer of protection and they insist this is a marriage of convenience and yeah they're best friends ofc they love each other plus this is ancient china every second person gets married for convenience not out of love how is that any different than our marriage but outsiders can just see how loyal and head over heels they are for each other and yes there was that one accidentall kiss incident but only because Wukong was hanging upside down from the tree and she turned around too fast and their lips met each other but that doesn't mean anything-
#the ham talks#i have lots of thoughts about those two idiots#and yeah I think my OCs dynamic is very different when she is with the Destined One vs Sun Wukong#definitely think there is a long period of adjustment phase for her but also this big sense of loss#everyone can see they are in love with each other except them#or more like the monkey king probably also knows my OC is the dumbass here#unless you write it on a brick “I LOVE YOU” and throw it at her face#she won't know#and even then there's a chance she might still not realize it lmfao#cepheus baskerville#black myth wukong#sun wukong#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x OC#monkey king
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I'm not counting a player character that you made and never thought about further. i mean like. It can be your player character but at least one that has a name (or you intend to name) and some semblance of a story that you've thought about. bonus points if you've been continuously using this character for several years
#splatoon oc#splatoon#my expectations is that a lot of people made ocs in 2018#also i wonder how many s1 era folks are still making ocs or have been using the same one lol#or if theres anyone who was crazy enough about squid game to make an oc after e3 LOL#anyway i made cress in 2016 i consider him my first proper oc. he didnt have a name for several months tho#he as well as a few other characters i made at that time started out from concepts that i thought were stupid or funny#all the others i drew like maybe once or twice and got scrapped but cress the shitty headphone squid survived and got Deep Lore
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I get it. I understand Lucanis now. I understand him. So. Much.
I just finished his quest Inner Demons and locked into his romance. And I cried. I legit cried while doing his personal quest. Because I felt it. It felt so personal, to Lucanis, and to myself.
I'm gonna pour my heart out under the cut because Lucanis has just ranked up so high into one of my favourite fictional characters ever. And that means a lot to me.
When I played my first playthrough (and of course avoiding spoilers) I saved Minrathous. And I was devasted to see how Treviso looked in the aftermath. Then, Lucanis was hardened. I know that there will be consequences with Luc's arc but I was not sure what it will be. So, after finishing the other companions' personal quest and getting the Hero of Veilguard for everyone... except Lucanis. I really thought after defeating Illario I would get the Hero status with him, but nooooo. Only after finishing the main quest, I got it. But, I felt something was... missing. Something was missing with Luc's arc, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Thus, I finished my first playthrough.
Understandable, I did hardened Lucanis. But it got me so curious... what was it that's missing in Lucanis's personal questline?
Then I made my dear dwarven Grey Warden warrior Rook : Juliet Thorne, to romance him.
And I finally got to the Inner Demons quest, a quest that I never done before (and also tried so hard to avoid spoilers before doing it 😂).
Hold my hand while I confess this. I cried. I really cried when doing Inner Demons. This is what I was missing in my first playthrough?? Helping Lucanis escaped from his inner prison???
Inner Demons felt so personal. Like deeply personal. My Rook is actively involving herself into Lucanis's deep and personal thoughts. And you know what made me cry even more? This quest felt personal to me too.
I also understand Spite now!!! Why he wants OUT!! He didn't just want to go out in the world through Lucanis, he can't even go out of the Ossuary that Lucanis has made for himself, his own turmoil and guilt 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I get it now 😭 Oh God do I get it now (still crying btw).
Spite wanted to go out and it knows that they aren't in the Ossuary anymore, but why does Spite keep seeing the Ossuary? That is what made Spite so frustrated! Until Spite was desperate enough to ask for Rook's help because Spite knows, Rook "opens doors, never closing them" 😭 Spite knows the only way to get through Lucanis, is through Rook.
Lucanis, has made a giant wall to protect himself from everyone. Including Spite. He self-isolates, to the point of pushing Rook away. But he didn't mean it. Lucanis has a heart of gold. He is kind, he remembers my Rook's chocolate drink, he cooks for everyone, he considers Emmrich's vegetarian preferences, he buys things for the team, he isolates himself in the pantry because he doesn't want to cause trouble to anyone. He is a selfless bastard that's willing to sacrifice his happiness and comfort for everyone around him. Why? Because he thinks he doesn't deserve it. 😭 This mindset has developed after years of trauma. Years of training and torture... so he can be perfect. If he can't be perfect (which is the very high standard and expectation that he has set for himself), then he can never have happiness. At least that's what he thought. And I get it, because I have this trauma too.
This is why he punished himself so much. He was rescued by Rook and lived, but has a demon inside him. His city is saved, but at the cost of Neve's city. He made a god bleed, but didn't kill the god as per the contract. He killed Zara, his abuser, but he was devastated that Illario, his family, was involved. Every single time, everytime Lucanis thought he had a moment of victory/happiness, it will be at the cost of another he cared for. And he punished himself again, and again. Trying so hard to solve his own problems without involving anyone, and never asking for help. And that's why he pushed Rook away, he can't lose another person he cared for. Because he is such a selfless man!
I felt this, his trauma, fear and anxiety, I can relate with Lucanis. This feeling will eat you from the inside. It will make you develop a sense of self-hate, low self-esteem, not being satisfied with everything you have done and etc etc. It will drown you, literally, within your own spiral of self-hate. I cried while playing the Inner Demons quest, because it felt so personal to me too, as if I'm drowning again. But visualizing it with Lucanis this time. And hey, the Ossuary is an underwater prison. Lucanis is drowning.
And it's hard, you know. Because you will feel like no one is gonna help you other than yourself. Yet, you can't even save yourself. Lucanis couldn't save himself.
Until Rook.
The way that Lucanis just kept pushing her away, but my Rook just kept breaking down every single wall he built. Reassuring him, acknowledging him, supporting him, validating him, every step of the way. Rook didn't give up on him. Rook cares for him, so deeply. And nothing can stop her from reaching to Lucanis. Lucanis was so scared to lose Rook, or something would happen -- but Rook knows, it's gonna be okay.
I cried again because... to have someone like Rook, who willingly bring down every wall you make, carefully guiding you out of the place that's drowning you... that's special. That's very special. Rook is so special to Lucanis. Whether he was romanced or not, Rook is special. I was so happy for Lucanis, he has found someone, that will bring down his walls, that rescued him from drowning, that reassures him that he is enough. Because he is enough. And he will be okay.
This quest is so personal to me. Lucanis is a fictional character that resonates with me, so deeply. I understand him better now, because I see myself in Lucanis, and the experience he has been through are so similar with mine irl (minus being possessed ofc haha). It felt so validating, knowing that I am not alone. But don't worry about me, I'm in my own healing journey too <3 The moment I bawled my eyes out was when reading his thoughts fragments. My actual thoughts that time was "why does these thoughts sound so much like mine?".
Now I finally understand what was missing in my 1st playthrough. Knowing Lucanis, he built a wall to Rook, because he just lost his city. He has to put his guard up to Rook because he knows, no one will save him. Eventhough, in the end, he does trusts Rook, but not enough to bring his walls down. And that's valid, because I would do the same.
This is what makes his romance so meaningful and deep. He is vulnerable to a romanced Rook. He trusts Rook wholeheartedly. Literally, placing his heart on his hands and presenting it to them. Rook freed him from his inner demon (which was actually, himself), and guess what happens next? Lucanis would literally worship the ground Rook walks on. Let me tell you something, to achieve this level of trust in a relationship with someone like Lucanis, is otherworldly. I can't explain how meaningful Rook is to Lucanis. Perhaps even Rook wouldn't know how important they are to Lucanis. Only Lucanis knows how much Rook means to him. And me, the player.
Lucanis is a man that's going to treat you right. He would cook for you, he would take care of you, he would waste his time with you, he would do anything you ask. He would live for you, he would die for you, he would kill any gods you ask to keep you safe. His words and actions carry weight. Lucanis is indeed a passionate man, but his passion is only for the person that deserves it... a romanced Rook.
This is such an emotional post, but I just want to express how this short 'outing' quest means a lot to me. I won't go into detail on how much similarities I have with him. Just let me say this, I see myself in Lucanis Dellamorte, and I'm happy that I'm not alone going through the journey of healing my inner self.
Let me be hopeful, that one day, I will find my own Rook <3
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#rookanis#dragon age spoilers#dragon age analysis#datv analysis#my post#my oc#Juliet Thorne#I thought I won't be crying in my 2nd playthrough... welp.#mary kirby is a freaking legend.#lucanis... the man that you are#i love him so much. he is so up there along with my love for Dorian and Marian Hawke. he just... gets me. and I can relate to him???#everytime I found a character that I can relate to makes my feels go BRRRR#i really thought i would resonate with Bellara more. but nope. it's Lucanis.#him not giving his Inner Demons quest after saving Minrathous is soooooo valid and I can't even be angry about it.#like. that's fair. i would the same thing. no doubt. i don't care if we're 'friends' or 'coworkers'#also the fact that he always ALWAYS puts his family first??? I felt that in MY BONESSSS#why are you so much like me Lucanis??? omg ;__;#Mary Kirby out here for blood because goddamn Lucanis hurts real good.#and I'm not even mad that his romance isn't 'steamy'. OF COURSE IT'S NOT STEAMY#YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT. You have to work and prove to him that he can trust you!!!#that takes effort!!!#LUCANIS DELLAMORTE I LOVE YOU.#bioware
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