#but also frustrating at times
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us
#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show#also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home#sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year#and not in my native language#there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED#there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories#storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us#to our past to the future to each other#sorry for the 1 am ramblings#fandom#🐭📓
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i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.
it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.
i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".
embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.
especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.
#personal#this also applies to ai art and stuff. like#artists and crafters and non-ai users took the time space and energy to learn things#bc we are actually LEARNING them. and it takes actual SKILL.#i know the skill is long to learn and often annoying. i still get frustrated about my art bc it's not good#but i do it myself. bc i respect that it IS a skill.#ai writing a book for you is not YOU learning how to write a book. and it took me a lifetime to write a book. i get it.#ai drones running a marathon don't run the marathon for u#there are things i cannot due to my disability. lol marathons being 1. there are things u can't do either#this is about stretching yourself in the ways that are healthy and good for you.#ai learning for u in ur classes is NOT healthy. u are not learning.#''but otherwise i won't pass''#first of all that's a self-defeating prophecy. and many of us who thought we wouldn't pass DID pass#and secondly. CHALLENGE urself. ur paying for college anyway. don't pay just to let AI learn for u.
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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reminding everyone that the in-universe problem with The Doctor and The Master isn’t “ooo horrible nasty enemies who hate each other and don’t get along and fight all the time but are also in love”
the problem is that they get along. the problem is that they can’t stop themselves from falling naturally into a rhythm of riffing off one another and enjoying the other’s company. THAT is the problem. the problem is that it works and that’s the thing that caused all their issues. they like one another. they just click.
#doctor who#thoschei#the doctor and the master#the master#twissy#they’re also the two worst people on the planet(s) l#lol#it’s the person you can’t help having chemistry with#they almost don’t have a choice#they both know it too#sometimes one of them will pretend it isn’t true but it is it’s the very much mutually understood truth#the problem is they just like one another a lot#not even in a romantic way#even tho it’s romantic lol#they just LIKE one another !!!#what was that thing stephen moffat said#companions bring it up all the time too. it doesn’t make sense why the doctor lets them get away with so much. it frustrates every companio#when they see that the truth of the matter is that the doctor just LIKES the Master#the two kids every teacher sits intentionally far far far away from one another lmao
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something something giant isopod sharing is caring pass the detritus
inprnt
#giant isopod#marine biology#artists on tumblr#inprnt#I tried coming up with a pun but nothing popped up#cackLES#there's also another print up on inprnt that I'm waiting to post when I have other stuff settled 👀#technically inprnt is getting to see stuff a little earlier haha#also been noticing how my process has changed haha it's interesting#like I'll spend waaaaaay more time now nitpicking/adjusting colors which is fine#but like before when I was still in old process mindset I'd get frustrated and think the colors weren't coming out right#when what I needed was to spend more time figuring it out
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Not the best scribbles and I actually posted some of these sketches before. But I suppose here is some context for all the anger. lol
WTNLS adventure definitely had it’s frustrations. This frustration was le laptop not cooperating. And now with the workout my tablet has gotten, It now glitches once an a while and I think it is about to die soon. Sooooo. may have to drop monies on a new tablet soon! Oof. I also would like to get a stronger computer. Because the one I have lags when I draw on it. So those big files for The If the northern light could speak book took gawd damn forever to get through because I think my graphic card is a lil wimpy.
ANYWHOS AND WHATSITS. I was anger. and instead of actually destroying my laptop, we just sketch out the anger, ya? lol.
#technology#am I right?#what amazing things they are#but also frustrating at times#lol#Jerria#being my Wrath vice character#she fit the senario#Even though she does not live in a world with such technology lol
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Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#sect leader yao#This episode has a lot of scenes I know people are excited for and starting here seems odd but here me out:#The sheer hilarity of this opening scene was too good to not give a highlight to.#Dare I say it? I think this is THE most underrated scene in the whole series.#You have one guy flashing WWX his prosthetic leg. Another complains about his dead parents.#And the third guy? He has no personal grievances at all. He's just here to be included.#You cannot get better comedic timing than that. Sect leader Yao you will always be famous to me.#There is also something to be said about how this scene is about shifting blame and holding a false trial.#And we also have the main theme about rumours vs truth in how Sect leader Yao is only here based on what he's been told to beleive.#And WWX is so exhausted by the blame! He was one breath away from saying 'form a queue and I'll take your complaints one by one'#WWX (overall) didn't do those things directly but he's the one the responsibility falls on.#Despite the fact that the first siege was *not* incited by him. It's like hitting someone and getting mad your fist got hurt.#What a brilliantly frustrating scene!#Anyways next up are the long awaited pheonix mountain flashabck scenes. We finally made it.#and AHH Season 3!!! The last stretch! Thank you all for rooting me on up until this point!
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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)
#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done#i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now#lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only#a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that#maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage#mine capitalism#anti-capitalism#work
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Tasuki
#jedi robes being as big and billowy and in the way as kimonos is an entertaining thought#and they have to tie them up when they get in the way#obi wan's been doing it for years now and now does it with that practiced ease#qui gon taught him when he was babywan#but also like consider#first time cody sees it he's like a victorian maiden seeing a slice of skin#its 4am on the venator theyre doing paperwork and cody hears a frustrated noise and turns to see obi-wan with a sash in his mouth#its the jedi equivalent of putting up your hair#but its tying up your sleeves#cody is completely normal about it#he sees the sleeves tied up with the little cross at the back and maybe the neckline of his jedi robes is disrupted#he's done for#thank you discord for this idea#obi wan kenobi#obi-wan kenobi#star wars fanart#star wars#my art#fanart#tasuki#may the fourth be with you#may the 4th#may the fourth#i'm gonna draw more of him with tied up sleeves#its hot okay
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The kids. In our complex. Make me so crazy. So there’s like 16 townhome units. It’s a smallish enclosed loop. For this reason we have a ton of kids in the neighborhood who bike and play in the parking lot.
The PROBLEM. Is that they’re almost entirely unsupervised and do not follow any kind of safety rules. When cars come they do not pull out of the way and wait. They just keep riding erratically around.
One little unsupervised two year old just stood in the middle of the lane and held a hand up to stop my car. His parents came out after a few minutes and laughed and I’m like MY GUYS YOU JUST TAUGHT YOUR KID TO BE UNSAFE ASSUMING CARS WILL SEE HIM!!!
A different time a six or seven year old was gearing up to try to outrace my car instead of pulling aside. I flipped my car into neutral and revved until she zipped out of the lane in a panic. Like. Tiny one. You are infinitely crushable. You do not fuck around, you need to get out of the way because you are a tiny thing that not all cars will see.
Another four or five year old was sitting in a place yesterday where we could have and almost did back into him!! Like. Why are you sitting here with the cars and no supervision???? There’s grassy areas behind the units and as much as I loathe the kids staring in my sliding door I prefer it to them trying to get run over.
Today I got home and a maybe three year old girl was riding an electric bike around. When she saw my car she sped up like we were playing chicken until I honked. Then she sullenly got off and left the bike in the lane so I couldn’t go. I was gesturing for her to move it before she finally realized the problem and pulled it to the side. I finally got to proceed toward my spot, driving past her while she gave me a thumbs up.
I found another bike sat in my parking space. I am about to start popping tires.
#ramblies#the evil part of me wants to just take it#because this is not the first time they park bikes in my spot#but I would never actually#also to clarify my frustration is largely with the parents here for not setting good safety protocols or watching them
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smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before
#iruma suzuki#clara valac#azz alice asmodeus#love trio#m!ik#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#irumas expression in the first one went through lotsa phases#lotsa extreme frusterated and sickly faces#which felt a little ooc to me cuz irumas someone who smiles in the face of despair#but also we’ve seen iruma at his most frusterated and fed up in reaction to his parents#(at least until kalegos brother told him he was disgusting which btw we should jump him for that)#(and SORTA when gyari calls him ugly but that was less serious lol)#anyway i decided to try going for a very tired forced smile for this#abuse mention#<just in case#to me this is irumas parents presenting iruma to a camera for a family portrait so they can show off their darling little boy to friends#meanwhile darling little boy has been eating trash behind the mall they found him at#so hes tired and hungry cuz the last time he saw em was two months ago otherwise he would have faked it a little better#i think in this moment hes frustrated and a little disgusted by them#enough to almost deny the treats they dangle over him#but rule one (1) is iruma suzuki that cannot say no#im not sure i conveyed the little micro expression kinda frusteration that i wanted to but its close nough#style change for love trio suddenly iruma has lips my bad LOL#suits the theme tho! i think irumas genre; art style; life changes when he met those two#clarazz would hate being compared to irumas dusty ass parents in any way even as foils sorry to them for this post actually 😭#ANYWAY…#did u know love trio have the same smile?#fanart#my art
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Considering that there’s another post going around that lands on this conclusion, I think it deserves its own succinct post:
When transmascs share instances of positivity to remind each other that the way we are treated isn’t all bad, it’s then used as proof of the whole of transmasc experiences being this way, and that transmascs are not oppressed as a whole.
When transmascs share instances of harm done to transmascs to raise awareness that transmascs are harmed directly within our societies, it’s used as proof that we are taking up too much room in conversations because the harm we face “isn’t bad enough”.
When transmascs share instances of outright murder of members of our community to show that no, transmasc issues are not somehow “lesser” because “we aren’t dying” because we are dying, it’s used as proof that we are trauma dumping and trying to make other people feel sorry for us—look at these AFABs being whiny and hysterical and trying to portray themselves as victims. Or that it isn’t specific enough to us so we should shut up and let other people speak for us.
Transmascs cannot speak about our experiences without being touted as an example of why transmascs as a whole should shut up.
This is erasure.
#my post#noooo I didn’t just make this post because I don’t want to interact with that other post because of personal hangups that no one else#should have about the post. truly it’s entirely a Me and My Personal Situation thing#the post is fine#I just was a little frustrated about how much I wanted to reblog and also like#not interact with it at all at the same time#so I made this post#shhhhh#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity#erasure through silencing
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"Do your best today! I'll be waiting here when you get home, starlight~💕"
had two busy days of work outside of my cave and the only thing that kept me going was the sight of my housewife/househusband Eclipse waiting for me at home
that is, the sketch of him waiting for me to finish drawing him 😂
starring @starriegalaxy's Eclipse from her Fear Factor AU/House Husband AU
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#fear factor au#fear factor eclipse#all i need is a pretty househusband to come home to#is that so much to ask?#my headcanon for this AU is that Eclipse just collects frilly aprons#every time y/n comes home he's wearing a different one#i'm both happy and frustrated with this one#happy - because i'm glad i finished it and it looks nice#also i feel accomplished since it's the most ambitious illustration i've done during this exercise to get out of artblock#but also frustrated with some small things#most of it is chalked up to me not planning things head of time#namely the door#that's why the perspective is off and the colours aren't great#for some reason my focus was on the handsome apron-clad robot instead of the door no idea why#also this illustration also taught me a lot about this new lineart style i've been using#it needs more careful planning if it's going to be used as part of a larger illustration#the gradients help suggest some lighting and shading#but if it's going to be used in an illustration with a background then it needs to adjust to the lighting of the background#my previous drawings had simple shapes as a background so it didn't matter as much#but here the open doorway suggests light coming from behind Eclipse#so there are dark parts of the lineart that should be lighter#all in all i need to do more planning#but besides that this was really fun#love how chunky his pants and sleeves came out
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I say this a lot lately but dang this one ended up way bigger than normal, but also this time it's very fitting.
#pokemon#crochet#amigurumi#golurk#pokemon crochet#art#artists on tumblr#my art#foth#me: lil frustrated at making largeish crochets when i want to be making small ones#me: picks a Large pokemon to crochet#😭😭 also this makes the second time in like 10 pokemon that ive run out of a color midway 🫠#but it's fine i know for next time! might just keep it tall tho it looks right#poll
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completely and entirely forgot that Vetinari and Carrot get together to gleefully "reward" Samuel Vimes and also ruin his blood pressure forever.
#also vetinari emotes a lot more than I remember. I think over time my brain slotted him into that vague category#a lot of villains (or at least...characters wearing black) get slotted into; the chilly removed chessmaster#who only shows emotion when there's a reason to.#when actually he was wildly frustrated in reaper man; he smiles in men at arms (multiple times!)#also I love the line ''The Patrician looked at Carrot. He seemed to be shuffling futures in his head.''#(also uh. um. no one is going to like this but I could see carrot/vetinari. I just think it would be neat.#AND then you could have some fun parallels with vimes and angua given that they're both dogs on a leash. so to speak.#anyway the charismatic king-that-wasn't and the dictator determined to usurp the gods is worth thinking about some more.)#discworld
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