#but also even when jihyun is reaching out

[carmenlire]

I can’t get Jaewon and the eighth sense out of my head because i see so much of myself in him. The way he’s always there for his friends, even to the detriment to himself. and it doesn’t have to be anything tragic. it’s going out and getting drunk and putting on that mask every day. it’s getting out of your own head long enough to realize that your friend is going through it and you need to care.

i’ve only watched it once but it’s in the way depression can, occasionally, manifest as a sort of manic episode. like you’re so empty and numb but 1) you can’t let anyone find out 2) you decide you’re going to be better. just like that, through sheer force of will. and so Jaewon smiles brightly and meets with friends and greets teachers and does a bang-up job of acting like he’s perfect he’s fucking perfect but inside there’s just nothing there. or maybe it’s not that there’s nothing there-- it’s that there’s so much but he can’t access it, he’s afraid to touch it because if he does then it will overwhelm him.

Jaewon has a lot of trauma and circumstances that definitely didn’t help his mental health but Jihyun was the breath of fresh air he desperately needed. and not in a Jihyun saved Jaewon kinda way but in the way that this new person broke up the monotony, showed him it was okay to reach out for help that, there was at least one person he didn’t have to hide from.

and just-- 10/10 to this show for showing that Jaewon very much struggles with depression-- he takes antidepressants, he sees a therapist, and even with those tools (and Jihyun) he isn’t magically cured. he can still sink low. that this kinda shit is cyclical and you can try your best but it can still be hard, you can still suffer, you will still have to drag yourself back up from underwater. but you can do it. because you’ve done it before.

[vivalavi-daa]

Fav 2022 K-Dramas/Movies

1. My Liberation Notes

About: Three siblings, exhausted by the monotony of day to day adulthood, seek to find fulfillment and freedom from their unremarkable lives

Honestly, no one did it like My Liberation Notes. The way they captured the mundane lives of adults, the longing for happiness, freedom, and the loneliness of it all. The way they depicted all that through raw lines, monologues, and even silence that gave even deeper meanings. To say I love this show is an understatement 🥺

2. Extraordinary Attorney Woo

About: Woo Young Woo, a woman on the spectrum that tackles challenges as a newbie at a top law firm

This show is popular for a reason. It has everything you could ask for in a kdrama: feel good vibes, heartwarming stories, heart-fluttering love, found family, and interesting characters (with brilliant acting). Although we couldn't expect Woo Young Woo to be representative for all people with autism (since autism is considered as a spectrum), but I love the way her portrayal in this show was educative while also really fun to watch 🤍

3. Twenty Five Twenty One

About: In a time where dreams seem out of reach, a teen fencer pursues her ambitions and meets a hardworking young man who seeks to rebuilds his life.

Couldn't express how much it's comforting to watch the two main characters build connection in the pursuit of happiness. The fact that these two people share different perspectives in life (one was hopeful & optimistic, while the other one was realistic) was its charm. Not to mention the growing bond of the friendship between them and their friends. Together, they make every scene seemed refreshing and entertaining to watch. It was truly an uplifting youth show that brightened last year's atmosphere ✨

4. Alchemy of Souls

About: A powerful sorceress in a blind woman's body encounters a man from a prestigious family, who wants her help to change his destiny.

Love, love the world building of this one! Also, the gripping love stories that took "I'll love every version of you" seriously 🥺. It was captivating how observant every characters in this show were & the way they unfold the stories. Even the action scenes portrayed like an art. Therefore, even though it has many episodes with long duration, I wasn't bored at all.

5. Little Women

About: Three sisters become embroiled in a major incident and face off against the wealthiest family in the nation

The fact that two of my fave actresses (Nam jihyun & Kim goeun) casted in one kdrama was such a dream!! It's a women centric kdrama i could say, from the way the main characters, writer, & director are all women <3. I love that it has such morally grey characters and a story that's full of intriguing misteries. It kept me on the edge of my seat.

6. 20th Century Girl

About: A teen girl has her eyes set on a boy for her lovesick best friend. However, things become complicated when she falls in love and is forced to choose between love and friendship

A heartening youth stories that every fan of 2521 should watch! Again, the plot seemed cliche but it still managed to enthralled you with sweet & fun interactions between the main characters, their growing romance, and what comes for them in the future. It was a rollercoaster of emotion but I really enjoyed it to end <3

7. Business Proposal

About: Hari, a regular employee, shows up to a blind date in disguise of her rich friend to scare him away. Things go awry when he turns out to be her CEO and makes a proposal.

Normally, a kdrama with a cliche plot and some cringe lines wasn't my piece of cake. But Business Proposal is something else I guess. It managed to make even the cliche plot entertaining to watch, still. I didn't expect that I'd laugh this much while watching this show, but I did. Their actings were so fun to watch and it's such a light kdrama that i enjoyed to watch.

Addition: Fav K-Drama (Not Released in 2022) that I've Watched Last Year

Prison Playbook

About: a legendary Korean baseball player whose life change after he chases a man who harasses his sister and finds himself spending a year in prison.

This is such a gem for a slice of life genre! From the director of Hospital Playlist & Reply series, you could expect some heartwarming feels coming from every characters' background stories. Despite the serious & harsh life we could thought of from prison life, this kdrama have many comical scenes, a series of roommates bickering, & such a moving found family. I wish the director would make more of these 🥺🤍

K-Drama Recommendations: 8/?

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hi I'm the previous Jihyun enthusiast here! How do you think he acts when he's angry? Like full-blown anger about something that he thinks is wrong? I don't think the game ever presents him as angry, only apologetic, so I'm curious of your take on this. You write him so well I keep going back to your writings for him.

Oh my gosh, that is such a fantastic compliment and I’m very flattered that you think I write V so well! Honestly, I adore him and find him such a fascinating, complex, interesting character so I’m more than happy to write for him again! I hope you’ll enjoy, dear!

In a odd sort of headcanon, I do see Jihyun, as a child, being a lot more comfortable expressing his anger. Even throughout middle school and high school, I do think he had a much shorter fuse than he has as an adult and, emulating his father, he did express a lot more anger and disdain.

I do see V’s father as an angry sort of man, someone whose temper was quick to provoke and unpredictable and, though V does, on some level, love his father, as he grew to resent the man and distanced himself from his father, Jihyun sort of vowed to himself that he would never end up becoming his father. As such, I do think he really took huge steps in working on his temper.

However, I also think that, in doing so, V really has become uncomfortable with anger as an emotion. He’s uncomfortable with others expressing anger, especially when it’s aimed towards him (though there is a part of him that does believe that he deserves others anger, feels like he is rightly to blame for it, and does sort of see it as being something that others should feel towards him, something he deserves). But even more so, I really do feel like V is really, really uncomfortable with his own anger. He doesn’t like feeling angry; feeling angry makes him feel guilty and ashamed, which only fuels his anger towards himself. Feeling angry feels bad, feels wrong, feels dirty to V and so, whenever something does irritate him or does make him angry, he really does suppress those emotions really hard, bottling them up deep inside of himself and that does mean that there’s always this hot little kernel, way down deep in Jihyun, that is a very angry person.

As an adult though, it is much rarer for V to get truly angry, as his once short fuse has grown considerably longer. He really did grow out of his hot-head phase, especially as he grew to learn that his father’s anger towards the world wasn’t really a normal reaction to things. He’s really learned to shrug off a lot of behaviour, even things that are definitely not normal to shrug off or accept, to keep the peace and to make everything okay.

Because anger is such a complex emotion for V to deal with, when he does get angry and he really can’t suppress it or tie it down or shrug it off, I think he does have a really hard time dealing with it and his go-to is to jump straight to logic and reasoning as a defense mechanism to keep his emotions at bay. He wants to know why whoever did what they did to upset him made those choices. Was he at fault in any way for their choices? What could he have done better? What can he do now to make things better, both for the person who has made him angry and for whoever that person hurt (because the unforgivable for V, the one guarantee to make him angry, is to hurt others unrepentedly, especially if he cannot comprehend the reasoning behind it)? He tries desperately to search for reasons and solid ground with the person he’s angry at and does try to reach compromises, just because he really wants to stop feeling that anger as quickly as he can.

I also want to note that V…not a screamer. His anger isn’t, and has never been, loud and violent and noisy. His anger is very quiet, very calm, but when he does get truly angry, it’s very direct, very focused anger.

[heretherebedork]

EunJi trying to replicate a date with JaeWon, trying to get back a love that he's long since given up and doesn't hold at all while he just goes through motions and barely even that, struggling to hold onto a mask that is hurting him more each time he puts it on as she acts like this is the real him because she doesn't even consider that JaeWon isn't who she's always believed even when all the evidence points against him caring about her at all.

But EunJi doesn't know how to move on, so she clings to a past that is broken, to a person who doesn't exist, to a love that isn't there, to a hand that isn't reaching out and to someone who told her it was all over.

(EunJi's dreams are all hers. None of her dreams are about JaeWon, they're about how he fits into the life she imagines for him. There is no JaeWon shaped space in her life, there is only a space that she thinks he should fit into and will force him into if given the choice. All she sees is the man she loved changing and she can't accept that change.)

But JiHyun sees all the parts of JaeWon that he can see, the trauma and the pain and sides that JaeWon hides behind his mask from everyone else and he accepts all those sides of him, he loves those sides of him, he wants only to be there and to help him and to be able to be at his side, to stand beside him, to let him heal but also to be there with him.

[talistheintrovert]

OKAY. let's clarify some stuff for people who are confused:

the entire episode is not a dream sequence. aside from that just being lazy, it's also not what the editing is communicating. this show is very good at editing in a dreamlike, slightly disjointed way; it's part of what contributes to it feeling so intimate and personal, and nothing about that editing really changed in episode 6 except for when it got dramatic RIGHT at the end, but i'm gonna address that particular tone change under the cut for those who want spoilers

the show intercuts flashbacks throughout, even dispersing flashbacks of what appears to be the same scene (therapy) through multiple episodes, and intercutting current dialogue with flashbacks (jaewon's brother flashbacks with his father's voice). the last five minutes MIGHT be a flash forward, which means that a lot of the coupley stuff left from the trailer could be coming up in episode 7 either as a lead-up to the inevitable or afterwards in flashback form, but again, i'm leaving my personal thoughts on that for under the cut

ALSO, he definitely says "boyfriend". he says "남자 친구" which literally translates to "namja - man, chingu - friend" and used together like that is the colloquially understood term for "boyfriend" in korean; it is sometimes shorted to "남친" (namchin) but BLs haven't reached that point yet. REGARDLESS, even though that technically translates to "male friend" SO DOES FUCKING BOYFRIEND. the only other word is "애인" (aein) which you may have heard, but it's gender neutral.

the context of that interaction is important. he says friend, the attendant clearly notices the implication and says "oh a girlfriend?" and he responds with "no, a boyfriend" and then the cashier gives him romantic fireworks. it was not an accident or a mistranslation. just because jaewon is closed off and masks does not mean he's like that about everything all of the time. like he says to jihyun, its easier to talk to him because he doesn't know his baggage. and as somebody who is very similar to jaewon I find it so easy to say things to strangers that I struggle to articulate to my friends. I come out to people as soon as I meet them but coming out to my friends was hard. it just be like that sometimes.

the last thing is a spoiler of what's actually happening in that last scene in relation to the movie version of this show that came out, so if you don't want to see those, simply do not look under the cut:

jihyun is not dead, nor is he a figment of jaewon's imagination. it is not a dream sequence or a fakeout - jihyun does almost drown and it does utterly fuck jaewon up.

that is literally the only spoiler i know from the movie because i saw it by accident and then noped out of the comments section of MDL and banned myself from going in there because i hate being spoiled, but it's actively starting to worry me just how many people are convincing themselves that it's all a dream or a fakeout who are going to be really distressed next week when it turns out not to be.

i'm all for collective fandom delusion (i was in The 100 fandom for years) but this seems like the kind of thing that, as somebody who is also a mentally ill queer person who gets WAY too attached to media, could be really damaging to everybody the longer this week goes on without answers and the collective fandom delusion spirals out of control.

(and hey, maybe this spoiler is a lie, or maybe the show is being edited differently to the film, but i still think it's HIGHLY unlikely all of that was just to trick us for no reason. that doesn't really align with the story they're telling)

take a breath like jihyun can't and remember there are FOUR WHOLE EPISODES LEFT. maybe the show will end tragically or bittersweet but i don't believe they'll do that in a way that is designed to actively hurt us. this is a show made by queer people, for queer people, and they foreshadowed from the start that this was going to happen. it's not a dropped plot point or a fakeout or an accident of editing - everything is VERY intentional.

[koyangii]

2023 - The year of Japanese BLs (My 2023 BL wrapped)

After plenty of good BL releases in 2022, I was hoping 2023 would keep the pace and give us even better content. However, I turned out to be very disappointed. In my opinion, the majority of the shows were blank, superficial and had really bad script and bad acting, so there were very few of them I've managed to finish, mostly Japanese ones.

One thing that really draws me towards Japanese productions is that the stories are believable and portrayed in a natural way. Even when the acting has big "anime" reactions, they usually fit in the context. Kieta Hatsukoi, for instance, explores this type of reactions very well and they don't feel cringe at all, unlike most Thai BLs and some Korean ones as well.

Nationalities apart, there's an obvious gold rush that is happening in the BL industry. A lot of companies realized that BL does make profit and are producing a lot of shows, poorly written, poorly casted, but that's ok since people are still consuming for the skinship, right? There's a public for that, so why invest in good, but a little more expensive stories?

Anyway, this is my opinion of course, as a regular consumer of the genre, and I can't help to be disappointed. But enough of the complaining, right? Let's go to the list of my 2023 favorites!

Top 3:

The eight sense

This BL has entered my list of all-time favorites. Fresh and mature, the chemistry between the leads is amazing. Jihyun's innocent approach to life contrasts really well with Jaewon's harsh perspective and I love the way both of them bond while helping each other to evolve. The feeling of the show reminds me a bit of Skam, another all-time favorite, and I found out that it really was one of the materials they used for inspiration. If you haven't watched it yet, stop everything you're doing and go watch The eighth sense right now.

2. If it's with you

I loved this show so much! The manga adaptation was beautifully done, they really paid attention to the details. It's a very sweet, heart-warming and honest story. There's no "instant love”: the relationship between them is built little by little, through sincere conversations and empathy. The series invites you to be more honest with yourself and to not be afraid of showing your true self. 

3. My Beautiful Man 2 and My Beautiful Man: Eternal

Well, it's somehow funny that I put this BL on the list, because I hated the first season of My Beautiful Man. However, the second season and the movie explore the motives behind the characters' actions in a deeper way, so the viewer can better understand the relationship dynamic. One thing that I really like about this story is that, although there is a worship behavior from Hira towards Kiyoi, Hira's life is not all about Kiyoi. In the same way, despite the fact that Kiyoi enjoys to be worshiped, he's also unsure about Hira's feelings: does Hira love the perfect, godlike image of Kiyoi he created inside his head or does he love the true Kiyoi, the human being with flaws?

Honorable mentions:

Our Dining Table

A great slow-burn which approaches the fact that true family is the one you choose, so sweet that almost made me die of too much cuteness.

I Can't Reach You

A very sweet friends-to-lovers story, which is now on Netflix!

Love Tractor

A fresh and funny countryside love story. I just love how Yechan is so hyped when it comes to Seonyul. This man must be kept in a jar, protected from all the badness in the world.

Conclusion

Well, although I believe 2023 wasn't the best year for BLs, it did give us some true gems, more productions and more visibility. I've seen news about Kdrama actors working on BL projects that will be released in 2024, so I guess we're having some next-level good content this year.

So that was it for this BL wrapped. I hope you all had great holidays and that 2024 will be full of blessings to all of us! Bye, bye!

[mikuni14]

The Eighth Sense Ep 7 & 8

Losing my mind, because when asked what his "crush" is, JiHyun says he's a good person 😭🥺 This one sentence says everything we need to know about JiHyun. Honestly, I can't remember if in any other movie/series someone described their beloved so simply and so beautifully.

It’s mind blowing, how JiHyun and JaeWon came out from this accident. One stronger, more confident, high on love. The other sank into an absolute pit of despair, self-hatred and guilt.

The episodes had a lot of great scenes, I really liked how JiHyun is confident, how eloquently and firmly he defended JaeWon, I love all the scenes with people who care about JiHyun, and also, yes, beating up this idiot for his cruel and thoughtless words. All JiHyun’s friends, his boss and the teacher were brilliantly portrayed in their reaction to JiHyun and what happened. EunJi and TaeHyung's evilness has reached caricature proportions, but ok, I'm buying it, unfortunately people can be like that. EunJi rolled her eyes so many times in this episode that she probably saw her brain at some point, and her behavior towards JaeWon and JiHyun would even embarrass the biggest mean girl from the worst high school ever lmao like, how old is she?? And Taehyung? I have a feeling he's been waiting for this opportunity to humiliate JaeWon and defeat him all these years.  The level of insecurity, delusion and paranoia in these two, as well as narcissism and blaming others for their failures, is terrifying.

I'm glad JiHyun confronted JaeWon quickly and there was no dragging their avoidance of each other. What was real about this trip? What about these unreal scenes and colours, the weirdness and uneasiness?

One scene I don't understand: why JiHyun and AeRi are so rude to this guy in drag? Have I missed something? I didn’tlike it tbh. Also I don’t like coming out scenes, when there’s a suggestion that there will be rejection, but yay! turns out all is ok.. (Yang from To Sir, With Love still has the best reaction 💖)

Even keeping in suspense about what happened to JiHyun, although normally I hate such tricks and playing with viewers' emotions, didn't bother me (but that's because I knew that JiHun is alive because there are 2 more episodes). But I admit I spent the first 17 minutes of episode 7 barely breathing, trying not to think and not to feel too much lmao 

I have so many feelings and thoughts about JaeWon, what a perfect, interesting, compelling character... 

[jemmo]

is it ok to speculate about the show in your inbox? if you do mind, feel free to ignore this! but I've been rewatching the trailer, & I have an idea about how the plot might develop. the relationship develops, peaks when JW and JH go on a trip together (JH taking pictures of JW), somebody confronts JW about it (heard in the trailer), then there is the required Korean separation... but we hear JH telling JW he remembers everything & we have the "love that cannot end" line.

omg anon yes you can ABSOLUTELY speculate in my asks. i welcome any and all t8s discourse bc this show has well and truly taken over my life.

anyway I see where you’re coming from. I think there’s definitely gonna be something that goes down for someone to say that line to jaewon and that kind of feeling of people being suspicious and being into them and this private relationship they’ve developed, I think that might spook him and cause some distance. i could even get see us getting to a point with jaewon where he acts so entirely different around jihyun than he does with others that it starts to become unbearable, where he gets sick of who he has to be with others when he knows what it’s like to be himself, but also when he gets to that crossroads and it’s a matter of admitting his relationship with jihyun or not, i can see why he’d revert to that mask and go backwards, bc that step is too big for him.

the only thing is I don’t know how we reach that point. there’s almost 2 trajectories in the story, how the jaewon and jihyun relationship develops and how they develop individually and with others, and I think it’s those external forces that are then gonna seep in and out a pressure on this relationship that’s supposed to be escape and comfort and freedom and they’re gonna have to come back down at some point and realise that to have this, it can’t be this fantasy, it has to be based in reality, but for jaewon to blend those two worlds, those 2 parts of himself, the mask and the real him, or to further drop the mask altogether… idk I just feel like that might be the emotional crux of the story??? and that jihyun line about remembering everything is so the line he’d say after meeting after a while, after being apart, and after jaewon has… I don’t wanna say broken up but distanced himself, or even rejected what they had, and trying to get jaewon to fight for him, for them. it’s a matter of whether jaewon can get over the barriers in his life so that jihyun can be a part of it.

but also there’s all this looming traumatic backstory stuff and maybe something happening to jihyun that opens that wound might also be a breaking point that pushes jaewon to back off, idk. the only thing I’ve learnt about this show so far is that it’s so hard to predict bc they somehow give us so much in each ep, but not a lot that you can use to predict what’s next. they really could take us anywhere and in the meantime we can just grasp at our straws like the crazy people we are.

anyway thank you for the lovely anon and apologies for the messy rambling 💖💖

[rfaromance]

my shadows (s)wallow in your light

"I'm right here. Hey, listen. Can you hear me? I'm here."

The young man's words fell on deaf ears. No matter how he called out, no matter whether he spoke to her urgently or gently, loudly or softly, swiftly or slowly, Jihyun's words would not reach her.

A wall separated her mind and heart from the rest of the world right now, or perhaps more accurately a dome.

And no matter how she tried to slam into the sides of that malicious snowglobe, to scream and break the thick walls that trapped her, she would only see her own horrified reflection as toxic "snow" fell around her.

As her fears, her blood, her tears, all swirled around her like acid rain.

Another agonized cry left the blonde woman's lips, and she slammed her fists into the mattress again and again.

"Rika. Rika. Please hear me. Please listen."

Did he think adding politeness to his desperate pleas would somehow help them reach her? He knew that he had no control over her breakdowns, and she had even less. Each one was somehow more painful than the last; perhaps because at first he'd had hope that he could stop them, that he could cut them short, that he could fix them.

Not only did he learn how powerless he was in the face of her distress, but he also noticed that her episodes were becoming progressively worse.

A blur of gold flashed across his vision, and Jihyun slid to the side, narrowly evading a pillow that Rika had hurled across the room. He took a tentative step forward, only to instantly recoil as he felt a stuffed animal squish beneath his feet.

He cast a pitiful glance at the tiny plush bunny at his feet; it must have been too light to fly far.

That kitten contrasted sharply with the lion that slammed into the wall behind him. Jihyun winced as he heard the thud of a heavy plush head meeting solid concrete, and he whipped his head around quickly when he heard something rattling. One of the photographs hanging on the wall was shaking, swaying back and forth, but thankfully it stayed up. He'd need to commend Rika later for doing such a fine, sturdy job putting it up.

The middle of a nervous breakdown was not the time to do so.

A blood-curdling shriek assaulted Jihyun's ears, and he turned around as quickly as he could to make sure nothing else was flying in his direction. Rika had run out of ammunition on the bed, however, and was now hunched over and hugging herself, gripping her arms so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.

"Rika. Let go. Rika, do you hear me? Rika...."

The white of her knuckles was suddenly interrupted by beads of red that were welling on her pale, thin skin. She hissed and began running her hands up and down her arms, dragging her nails along as she did so. Her nails dug into her flesh like claws, and thin red streaks began to decorate her skin like sketch strokes on a canvas.

"Ri--"

"Shut up!" she screeched, bending over further and shaking her head vigorously. "Stop your lies! Stop it! Get out of my head!"

Alarmed at first, Jihyun swiftly realized she wasn't talking to him. She was battling with someone -- or something -- else entirely.

"Stop it. Stop." Her breathing grew morw ragged as she gasped out the words. I can't... I can't say that." She paused, swallowing hard. Rika stopped rubbing her arms, but her grip never slackened; blood began to well up in pinpricks on her skin again as she kept her nails firmly embedded in the same spot for a long time. "If I say those things, I'll be alone again! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"Rika."

Jihyun was hovering at the end of the bed now, one hand reaching towards Rika delicately. He was ready to withdraw at a moment's notice, but calling to her from a distance wasn't working so he needed to try getting closer.

"Can you hear me? Rika."

That might have been the key.

Slowly, Rika lifted her head. Her wild, unfocused eyes were red around the rims, and her cheeks were puffy from crying. But his voice must have reached her, because she turned her attention to his direction as she whispered, "V."

"I'm here, Rika," he soothed. He didn't move from his spot, not wanting to startle her. "Focus on my voice. You're here with me, Rika."

"V..." Rika repeated his name, and she licked her lips afterwards-- holding onto his name and savoring his presence. "V, help..."

But then darkness descended upon her again, and she folded in on herself with vigorous shakes of her head.

"V. You need to go. You need to leave!" Her voice was trembling, and V could see the rapid rise and fall of her body as she took labored breaths.

"I can't just leave you, Rika."

She laughed bitterly. "Of course you can! Everyone does!" she snarled.

But a mere moment later, she sniffled and whined, "I'm sorry. I didn't... I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry. It wasn't me. It wasn't me!" She withdrew even deeper into her suffocating bubble, hugging her knees to become smaller and smaller.

Jihyun dared to take a step closer, even as his own legs shook in trepidation. "It's just you and me, Rika. You can say anything."

Rika began balling her hands into fists, furling and unfurling her fingers as she responded. "No. She's here. She's always here. She won't leave me the fuck alone! GO AWAY!!!" With a heart-rending wail, Rika reached her hands up to her head, tugging at her golden locks in a frenzy. "She says these horrible things, and she eggs me on to repeat them. They're harsh, hurtful, downright awful," she whimpered. "If I repeated them, told my friends the horrible things she says, they'd all loathe me."

Jihyun's brow knitted in confusion. "You can ignore her lies, Ri--"

"But they aren't lies!" Rika scratched her scalp furiously. "They're all true! I agree with everything she says. No... no, they're my horrible thoughts! I'm the devil who thinks those things!"

Unexpectedly, Rika threw her head back and stared directly into Jihyun's worried mint eyes with her own emerald gaze burning with fury, with fear, and with... something else, something even darker and more frightening.

"I am her, the devil inside me. And the 'me' who speaks to you and the RFA is a big liar!"

With that, Rika balled her hands into fists once more and began pounding indiscriminately at everything within reach: the bed, the wall, her legs, her face.

At this outburst, Jihyun darted forward, self-preservation out the window. Now Rika was posing an active danger to herself, and he couldn't let her be. Hastily he grabbed her left arm, using all of his might to restrain her. Her right fist managed to clock him in the jaw before he could wrap his hand around it, and he hissed inwardly as pain shot through his face.

"Rika! Rika!" he eked out her name despite the pain. "Rika, please. We won't hate you. You're a good person, Rika. You--"

The hatred that crackled and roared in Rika's expression, like a wildfire aiming to set the country ablaze, made Jihyun's breath catch in his throat.

"And you think you're an exception to the devil's curses?" she spat, her nose scrunched up in disgust. "V, you miserable wretch, are the one who I resent most of all!"

[chimini3]

Makeup The Break Up

Park Jimin | Chapter 10

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Park Jimin x OC

Synopsis: What happens when Park Jimin's biggest what it comes back into his life? His friendly neighbor, childhood best friend, high school lover, and now his makeup artist?! Amidst the 2020 outbreak, the last thing he needed was Seong Areum making his heart skip a beat and fill his stomach with air. What will he do when unspoken words threaten to slip past his tongue? Would he take the chance of ruining a healing past? Or would he let her slip away once more and let himself get lost in the lights?

Note: super late post been caught up with some stuff but enjoyy :)) this one is kinda long and its not beta read

Word Count: 8.0k words

Around Busan

Sources of Information included in this chapter are from:

Gamcheon Culture Village Wikipedia

Some environments have changed by the time I wrote this to the time specified on the story so it might be a little confusing seeing something that didn’t exist in 2020 though please bare with me for the details 🫶

(If any information is proven false, please do not hesitate to comment and inform me of the mistake. Let us avoid spreading false news, thank you <3)

I was born and raised in Busan. We were all born and raised in Busan. Yes, the Seong sisters had just arrived after years of being away from Busan, but it wasn’t like we hadn’t had our fair share of school trips around the city. So someone tell me why we were in one huge black van that would take us around Busan? The van was one that us members would take in our tours outside the country, when separating us in different smaller cars would cause more inconvenience than driving a big van.

“Hwan ssi, I thought I booked a private tour for three people. The van you brought could fit the whole BTS and our crew.” I asked as the man that would be our tour guide for the following days could only chuckle.

“The Park Jimin ssi deserves only the best. Besides, we were ready for unexpected additions…” The middle aged man smiled past his eye glasses. He was alluding to the fact that I said he needed to tour three people though I ended up joining myself so it had turned to four, though four people definitely did not need such a big van that would surely gain the curiosity of people.

“And don’t you worry about unwanted company. These two guys would surely keep you safe.” The man lurched forward to tap the shoulder of one of the tall and muscular men that would accompany us today. Alongside the driver that was also similar in size. Oh my connections were certainly spoiling me today.

I’m always so shocked at the reach of my influence. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, no matter how many years I’ll keep it up. It even took my family a while to adjust. Especially now that Appa had opened a bakery and he was exposed to this influence on a regular basis. JiHyun loved this lifestyle, that little brat, though occasionally I’d notice how he still can’t take in my influence.

I wonder if Areum notices my influence too. Is she impressed? The little kid who injured himself on a toilet seat was long gone and now a successful hunk of a man is what he became. Is she attracted to that?

What. Am. I. Thinking ?!

What the hell! Snap out of that Jimin.

Stay humble as always and remember that everything can be taken away if I don’t properly use it with good intentions.

I quietly groaned to myself.

Why would I call myself a successful hunk?? What the hell.

“Okay, we’ve arrived at our first destination of the day… Gamcheon Culture Village.” Hwan said in a much more gleeful tone. I associated that as an entertainer's voice. The voice and personality we take on as soon as we do our work.

The van passed by the sign saying ‘GAMCHEON Culture Village’ as it entered the smaller streets of the Gamcheon Culture Village. I’ve seen pictures of this place though I never had the time to come here before. People walking freely on the small one-laned streets had moved aside for the van to come through though I started to wonder whether our van was meant to be on these roads.

“Don’t worry, we’ll also walk on these streets later on. The van just needs us to arrive at Haneul Maru first so that we can take in the entire village.” Hwan said as if he read my mind.

I looked back outside and watched as people gathered around street stalls and seemingly every building had a different vibrant color.

The van stopped in the middle of the street as Hwan hummed and prepared to open the door. I can feel the anticipation from all of us as one of the guards got out first and assisted us in getting out of the van before the driver drove away.

“Don’t take in your surroundings yet! You haven’t seen the best part yet.” Hwan raised a finger before he led us on a small pathway between two buildings. We filed into a one file line with me right behind Hwan, Areum behind me, Ahnna behind her, and JiHyun in front of the bodyguard that was following a good distance behind.

“Watch your step everyone!” Hwan warned, before I turned the corner and swallowed at the small concrete steps.

“Hwan, what is this? Are you planning on keeping us hostage here? Perhaps kill us by accident?” I was obviously joking though I made my tone out to be accusatory.

“Of course not!” Hwan sounded offended as he sped up his climb though I kept up my careful pace.

I can hear the girls giggling behind me and I couldn’t help but have a smile on my face from how ridiculous this climb was. I can feel a few droplets of sweat arise from my heated forehead. So I pushed the sleeves of my colorblock denim jacket off my shoulders to alleviate some of the heat.

Busan was one of the warmer cities of South Korea though February was usually rainy, the skies had blessed us with a good sunny day. Good thing most of us were wearing decent clothing for both climates.

I wore a similar outfit to the one I arrived in Seoul with on Monday. Black straight cut jeans and a dark blue shirt that matched my newly colored hair. I hoped that since I wore a beanie that mostly covered my new hair at the airport that now that I’m wearing a black beret, no one would immediately notice me because of it. Though I still kept it safe and had a white mask on.

JiHyun always wore one of his hoodies though this time it was a partially zipped gray hoodie that gave him the ability to choose to warm up by zipping it all the way or unzipping it to let more air in.

Ahnna in the meanwhile wore denim straight leg pants with a white tank top and white cropped cardigan.

While Areum chose to wear a blue denim midi skirt with a black top. She tied her hair up in a temporary bun when she realized the sunny weather and even opted to leave her denim jacket at the van. I guessed she was always one to quickly break a sweat under hot weather. Even when we were teens, she always broke a sweat first when we walked towards a bus stop.

I can see Hwan reach the end of the stairs and I anticipated myself for the view, it was definitely one I shouldn’t have underestimated.

The beautifully colored buildings and houses looked so peaceful on the hillside. The sun had only started to reach its peak and the vibrant colors shone ever brighter. We could see the layered streets, twisted labyrinth-like alleys, and people busy with whatever stalls littered the streets.

“Woah! It’s so pretty!”

“Eumi unnie, let’s take pictures!” Ahnna spoke though when Hwan cleared his throat to speak we all turned to look at him with divided attention.

“Okay so… the Gamcheon Village was built during the 1920s and 1930s when the Busan city administration decided to relocate the working-class population into an area secluded from the port. So, Gamcheon underwent a lot of changes throughout the times. Gamcheon was actually only one district in the 1950s and now it’s nine. In the 70s the houses were made of wood. In the 80s and early 90s, families started getting bigger and houses started to get bigger and have multiple floors. In 2009, the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism carried out a public art-themed renovation effort to convert the village into a central hub. With improvements to infrastructure, fresh paint, other home improvements, spaces for retail and museums, with the help of artists and residents the village has been reborn as Busan’s most colorful and artistic spot. And don’t worry we will be visiting these spots sooner than later.” Hwan explained as we all listened to him.

“Do residents still live here?” Areum asked.

“Yes, last time I checked it’s about 120 residents.” Hwan smiled at the girl who nodded at the information. She always had a knick for information. She wasn’t one that loved math and studying though her interest always piqued when the subject was one she wanted to learn more about. Perhaps this tour was exactly what she might’ve wanted.

“That’s not a lot. I thought you said the whole working-class population was relocated here.” She inquired and Hwan’s smile grew at the fact that the woman seemed to take note of every piece of information he said.

“Yes, the population is decreasing especially because this has become a common tourist attraction. After the renovations, about 300 houses were found abandoned and those were used to create museums instead.” Hwan smiled.

I can see JiHyun and Ahnna already wandering around the wooden view deck and taking pictures near the edge of the white fence. I honestly didn’t know why I was still listening to Hwan and Areum’s conversation, I just came here to bond with my brother and the girls though I was enjoying how Hwan answered Areum’s questions so composed and well studied. I can tell he had a lot of passion in his job.

“Jimin Hyung! Areum Noona! Come take a picture with us!” JiHyun called us over as I glanced back at Areum who nodded at the two though continued to converse with Hwan.

I walked towards the two near the edge and looked down at the streets below us. The breeze was chilly though the heat from the sun was enough to balance our temperature well.

“What’s unnie doing?” Ahnna sounded impatient as I could only chuckle at her and JiHyun as when I glanced at them they had their arms crossed in front of their chest.

“She’s always learning, no? Let her be, this is a private tour we can stay here as long as we’d like.” I said as Ahnna could only frown and ready her camera for another selfie before tapping me with a finger to smile for the camera.

“I’m sending this to Aaron. I’m a neglected child! My responsible guardian is ignoring me!” Ahnna jokingly complained as Areum glanced at her from the sides of her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed and she curved her lips into a pout that mocked and judged her sister.

It was a hilarious sight that had me holding onto my knees as I bent down from my laughter. JiHyun was laughing too as Areum finally stepped away from Hwan with a less than pleased look though I can tell from the way her cheeks tried to force down a smile that she wanted to laugh with us too.

“So bratty. I should just leave you here and go back to New York.” Areum rolled her eyes as she finally stood with us near the edge of the view deck.

“Yeah right! JiHyun and Jimin oppa would take care of me anyways!” Ahnna fought back with a voice full of sass.

“You leech! You just want to walk around the HYBE building to meet popular choreographers.” Areum softly shoved Ahnna on the shoulder as Ahnna tried to do it back though Areum continuously blocked her hand.

“I wouldn’t mind really…” I spoke without thinking.

It was true, I really wouldn’t mind. Ever since Ahnna was born I have taken a brotherly role for her and I still think our dynamic stays as it is. I’d love to help her with her studies in an art school. I did it with Jungkook and I’d do it again.

“Aish! It’s a nightmare, save yourself!” Areum softly shoved my shoulder though it was more of a tap of the tips of her fingers. I can tell that she didn’t mean to shove me and she realized it a bit too late as she already had her hand against my shoulder.

Shoulder shoving seems to be a new habit of hers. I don’t know where she got it from, she usually wasn’t like that. It was usually me and JiHyun who did it and whenever we unconditionally did it to her she’d just roll her eyes. Why am I reading into this so much? Just let the woman live, Jimin.

“Okay, serious now… Selfie for the gram!” Ahnna held up her phone to the sky with the front camera pointing down at us to show the colorful background of the Gamcheon Culture Village.

“Wait! I shouldn’t join…” I quickly stepped out of frame as the three looked at me with confusion.

“I shouldn’t appear in public media this month… The focus needs to be on the new album.” I paired it with a chuckle as I didn’t want them to not post their experience in Busan just because I couldn’t appear in social media.

“Everything doesn’t have to be posted. I’m sure we’ll have more photo opportunities later, so just join us for the selfie.” Areum said with a warm smile that made my stomach feel like it could float.

“Come on oppa, this will be for the memories and for eomma and appa.” Ahnna smiled as I relented and took my space back beside JiHyun and behind the two girls.

“Wait, I can’t see you two properly.” Ahnna tried to reach higher into the sky as JiHyun took a step closer behind Ahnna and I copied his action to come closer behind Areum.

“Don’t point it too high at the sky too! We’re gonna go blind staring at the sun!” JiHyun chuckled as he placed a hand around my shoulder.

Ahnna laughed and lowered the phone angle. I’m glad JiHyun pointed it out before we took pictures. I knew these weren’t going public but I wanted to smile with a peak of my eyes at least. I loved my eye smile but I didn’t want my eyes to entirely disappear from squinting at the sun.

“Oppa remove your mask!” Ahnna reminded me as I took the hand opposite from JiHyun, who was pressing on my side, to remove my mask. I hung the mask around my wrist before I rested my hand to the side of Areum’s shoulder before we all pressed together and smiled for the picture.

It was great. The moment felt great. It wasn’t like the happiness I feel everytime I’m on stage or when I’m with Bangtan and other friends. It wasn’t the same happiness as I felt with family either. It was a happiness that I will now start to associate with my past. A happiness that I must’ve felt before though it now felt foreign. It wasn't happiness that made my cheeks hurt from smiling, but it was happiness that left a good feeling in my stomach. A good mixture of unfamiliar airiness and warm fulfilling joy.

“We’ll be walking around the village towards our next location now. Feel free to stop and buy a few things on the way.” Hwan told us before he led the way down the staircase as we had spent a good twenty minutes on the view deck already. Just appreciating the scenery, taking pictures, and feeling the breeze on our skin.

“Is anybody hungry? It’s still a good 10 to 15 minute walk until we reach the cafe we’ll have a short break at.” Hwan asked.

“We might just buy some street foods on the walk.” JiHyun said as he walked behind Hwan and carefully looked behind him to make sure Ahnna was following behind him. Whilst Areum walked behind Ahnna and in front of me, with the bodyguard behind me.

We were halfway down the twisted staircase when I noticed Areum struggling with her midi skirt before I heard a skid of the soles of her sneakers. I didn’t see her slip though it was somewhat like a reflex for me to immediately grab her upper arm in case she fell. That all too familiar noise of shoes losing grip that I’ve heard way too often during dance practice.

“Woah…Thanks.” She breathily laughed whilst regaining composure as the rest of the group glanced up at us before continuing down the stairs more carefully.

“Careful.” I said before we continued walking down and her body posture only showed how flustered she was.

“You okay? You’re always falling nowadays…” I prolonged the silence as I took the last step and saw JiHyun and Ahnna walking towards Hwan a few meters ahead of us.

I haven’t brought up our past encounter at the photoshoot before. It mostly slipped my mind though Areum had only said to us last night that she took up a few gigs around Seoul. Was working for BigHit that day just a gig? I always thought we were careful about who we hired. Something about not wanting any spoilers to leak out considering we mostly do a lot of content weeks prior to the proper airing date. We already had six boys, excluding me of course, that were already doing a great job in spoilers. We did not need part time staff to spoil for us too, not that I’m calling Areum bad but if they let her in as a part timer then who else were they letting in?

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Areum rolled her eyes in mocked laughter, though she wasn’t offended.

“I don’t do it on purpose.” She added.

“Uh huh.”

“I’m being serious. It just happens…”

I really wanted her to open up about the photoshoot. I wanted her to willingly talk about it instead of me bringing it up in a more direct way. Or I might just be a little scared to make it awkward for the both of us to speak about it.

We soon exited the smaller alley that led to the Haneul Maru observation deck before we went down a flight of stairs to get to the much larger one lane street.

“If you turn around actually, you’ll see that there’s a large fish made of tiny fish shaped cutouts. All throughout the village, you’ll see that these fish shaped cutouts will lead us around. And I know that you all know this since it’s practically the first thing we’re taught in school here, but Busan has the largest seaport in South Korea. The city has abundant seafood and traditional street markets where you can enjoy fresh and delectable dishes. I am also informing you to please wear beach appropriate attire for our last day since we will be spending most of it in Songdo.” Hwan smiled as we all nodded.

“Gosh, remember our Songdo visit before?” Areum spoke as the rest of the group had started walking off in a direction.

“How could I not?” I smiled and we walked side by side as we followed the group. Hwan was talking about something as JiHyun and Ahnna followed closely behind him and I assumed the guard was walking behind us. As I grew more aware of the fact that I could be recognized.

“It was a long time ago. How old were we?” Areum asked as I looked up at the sky as if it would help me remember.

“JiHyun was at most six, so you were probably seven and I was turning eight.” I remember though perhaps we were a year younger. My childhood years seemed to all merge together and every memory I have prior to meeting Areum had disappeared whilst every memory I had before confessing and getting in a relationship with Areum was childhood.

I didn’t lose my childhood when we were together. I lost it when I started thinking about the future, my future. The future that I vaguely made out was me in Seoul and dancing, that was the year I started to dream and act on it. My teenage wild and whatever you call it phase.

“I don’t remember much of that anymore. Everything is hectic in New York. It makes you forget things easily.” Areum said as I nodded along.

“I’ve been to New York and it surely does feel more hectic.”

“You have?” Areum asked with surprise and it broke my heart to know that she wasn’t keeping up with me. It wasn’t like I expected her too but damn…

I literally performed for New Year’s. How could she not know? Isn’t it like the biggest thing in New York?

“We performed in Times Square during Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”

“You did? Wow! That’s great! I’m sure the crowds were cheering you on.” She smiled at me and I wanted to smile back, though I only forced to squint my eyes in the illusion that I smiled as the effort of smiling didn’t feel needed when I had my mask on.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t watch it. We spent New Year’s in Seoul with Aaron.” Areum apologized though I only shook my head to signal that it wasn’t worth apologizing for. Of course I knew Aaron spent New Year’s in Seoul. I saw it on her Instagram afterall.

“Aaron hyung was here? Was Mr and Mrs Seong here too?” I asked as I remember it was one of the questions I asked myself that one drunken night.

“No… just us three.” She exaggerated a smile.

I should really stop bringing up her parents. Stop it Jimin. It’s awkward and none of your business.

“Ah, you should’ve said something. Eomma and Appa could’ve celebrated with you! I might’ve gone home too if we had guests.” I proposed though Areum only shook her head at the idea.

“We shouldn’t bother—“

“Areum, you two are never a bother! Look at JiHyun, he missed you so much. You’d have to run before he chains you to Busan.” I pointed at my brother happily pointing at everything he sees with a smile brighter than I’ve seen after all these years.

“I never knew he’d be this happy to see us.”

“We’re all happy to see you guys after all these years. I’m not joking, I would've actually spent New Year in Busan and canceled New York if you reached out.”

I don’t know if that was an exaggeration or not, but I would’ve definitely tried. It’s been too long and I know I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend the holidays with my family and reunited friends.

“Yeah right. You’re a busy man now, Jimin. You’d probably get yelled at by your Sejin ssi.” She warned with a joking yet serious tone that made a laugh bubble out of my throat.

“Sejin i— he can’t control me!” I doubted the next thing I was going to say as I fought back with a much more playful manner that I’d usually engage in when Taehyung was up to his more theatrical moods.

“I know you were about to say that Sejin wasn’t your boss! He’s your boss Jimin. You have to follow him or else he’ll look like he was on his last hair with you not changing for the next set.” Areum alluded to something I don’t vividly remember happening.

“What do you mean? What set?”

“When you were still watching the interviews when you and RM should’ve been changing.” She clarified as I remembered when RM had dragged me on screen to join the other members in their group interview.

I chuckled with a shake of my head. Ironic really. I wouldn’t get changed because I was watching her. I was merely baffled by her presence in the photoshoot.

“I didn’t know Sejin was angry… I thought he was in our waiting room already.” I shrugged as I really didn’t get a glimpse of our manager that time.

“How’s TXT’s manager?” I added, hoping to stay on this topic of work.

“He’s good. We don’t interact much, but he’s been kind.” Areum smiled as I was at a loss of what to respond.

“I’m a BigHit makeup artist, so it’s not like he’s my boss.” Areum added with sass and a playful manner that stayed the same after all these years.

“I guess you’re right.” I laughed.

“Your boss is Sun Jee?” I asked as I stated the name of one of HYBE’s boss that I knew was in control of the makeup and dressing department.

“No, it’s Hee Ran. I just work for BigHit, not HYBE.” She smiled as I nodded.

“For how long?”

“I got connected through a friend and got hired when I booked a ticket and got my visa for Seoul.” She explained briefly.

“So you’ve worked since the day you got here?”

“Not really. I don’t go to every shoot or event. BigHit has other staff too, you know. And I’m just building up my portfolio and trying to get better at it.”

“I saw your work. You’re already doing very well!” I said encouragingly though the raise of her brow had me thinking that I said something wrong.

“When did you see my work?”

Oh.

“At the photoshoot… you did TXT’s makeup and hair and it looked great!” I recovered with a forced chuckle.

“Well yes… but I wanted to be more experimental. That’s why I do gigs outside of BigHit too. You idols need to look perfect, so I can’t try anything more than a new technique on your eyeshadow.”

Yes, I know. You post them on your Instagram and they all look amazing. You can be more experimental with me. Let it be like all those years ago, when you experiment on hiding blemishes and my scar.

I wanted to say so much in reply but when Hwan turned around to connect eyes with me I knew I didn’t have the time.

“Jimin ssi, you might want to take a good look at this.” Hwan called for me as the three of them slowed down for me and Areum to walk up to.

We rounded the corner and saw a pink building called Korean Traditional Paper Art Shop with space beside it to look over the village at another angle and had photo booths lined up beside the building.

“We’ll take pictures in the photo booth?” I asked though Hwan only kept walking past the building before he turned around and looked at something behind me.

“Woah! Hyung!”

I heard JiHyun’s amazement before I turned around and saw that the Korean Traditional Paper Art Shop had a painted mural of both me and Jungkook. It was amazing and something I hadn’t even heard of before. A cloud background was behind us as both me and Jungkook held red roses. Whilst the hashtags #Jungkook #Jimin were beside our murals.

“Woah! I have to tell Jungkook about this.”

If I had my mask off then they’d definitely see my toothy smile, though I think it was obvious with the mask on that I had a smile on my face. My cheeks were so high up that I was squinting at the mural. Though I had to remind myself to be extra cautious in case there were any ARMYs around admiring the mural too.

I quickly pulled out my phone and took a picture of it to send to the group chat later.

“Want us to take a picture for you?” Areum asked though I only shook my head. It was no need. It would probably raise more suspicion on why a man that was similarly built to the man on the mural was taking an awkward photo in front of it.

“You guys want to buy something here? Our next stop is a cafe so there should be no rush.” Hwan informed us as I skimmed through the display.

“You want something?” I looked towards the two sisters as they shrugged though their eyes roamed through the display.

“Excuse me.” I called the attention of one of the vendors as an older woman came to my call.

“Yes mister? What can I get for you?”

“May I buy two sensus?” I said as I glanced at the artful folding fans that were displayed on a rack.

“Of course, just choose. The price depends on the design.” The woman smiled as she pointed at the fans for sale.

I looked over at the Seong siblings and gestured for them to choose as they tried to deny it though I insisted and they let their eyes roam at each design carefully.

“I’ll choose this.” Ahnna took a green and blue sensu from the lower rack that wasn’t displayed though similar enough to one that was on the rack.

“That will be 20,000 won.” The woman smiled and I nodded as I got my wallet out to count some cash that I’ve brought aside from my credit cards.

“And this? How much?” Areum spoke to the lady as she pointed to a sensu that had an off-white background behind a simple Cherry Blossom tree branch. Of course she went for something so elegantly simple.

“35,000 won, miss.”

“What? What’s the difference between these two?” She pointed to the one Ahnna held as her eyes tried to not widen from surprise at the price.

“This one is larger and is made from the best bamboo!” The older woman tried to impress though Areum was having none of it.

“How about 25,000 won?”

“No way, miss! This is really good quality and—“

“Don’t worry about it Eumi, I’ve got it.” I interrupted the older woman as I took out a yellow 50,000 won bill along with a 20,000 won bill to hand to the woman.

“We’ll have both ahjumma. Thank you.” I bowed as the woman looked less pleased with Areum though still packed up both fans in a bag and handed it to me. She was about to return my change though I simply shook my head as a sign for her to keep it.

“Jimin. 55,000 won on sensu? Back then they were 10,000 won each!” Areum complained as we started to walk away.

“Areum. I’m BTS.” I had a smug smile behind my mask as I said the line with much pride.

Was I being boastful? Yes.

Did I need to stay humble? Yes.

But for once I finally got to tell Areum my biggest accomplishment while she was gone and I wanted her to be proud of that.

“Aish, shh! They’ll eat you up as soon as they hear you. Then it’ll be a bigger problem for all of us.” Areum looked around as though she was checking if anyone had heard such a deep secret.

“Hyung, let's buy some!” JiHyun called me from the other side of the street as he pointed to a fresh Kkwabaegi stall. The sweet twisted doughnut smell was already hitting my nose as soon as I laid sight upon the stall.

We approached the stall and asked for ten doughnuts. JiHyun already had one in his mouth and was being held by a white paper cup whilst the rest were in a paper bag that we’d take to the cafe that Hwan said was only 3 minutes away.

“I remember loving this as a kid!” JiHyun said as he stuffed another mouthful into his mouth before he licked his lips from any stray sugar particles.

“Looks like you still do.” Areum added as we chuckled and JiHyun rolled his eyes.

“We really need to eat more in Seoul, Eumi. You know, during New Year’s we went to a traditional Korean restaurant and I didn’t know half of the things on the menu!” Ahnna complained.

“Aish, blame Appa and Aaron for that!” Areum waved a hand at her younger sister though opted to keep her eyes on the road we were walking on.

“You’re an American already. You grew up in America. It’s natural.” I stated.

I’m pretty sure there was another word for it because the situation was just that common. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it get called ‘whitewashing’ though I’m not sure if the situation is entirely similar. I couldn’t blame Ahnna. She even speaks in half Korean and half English and she definitely had an accent from the west. Thankfully enough all of us are exposed to English and American accents so communicating with Ahnna was smooth sailing. I even see it happening to Namjoon Hyung, especially when we travel to The States and are exposed to more Western accents. Even Hobi Hyung gets it sometimes and I worry that the more we take English lessons then the more we’ll have this accent more frequently. Days are harder when I can’t slip in an ‘Okay’ in pure English form.

“That’s why you’re here to study. You get to be more in touch with your culture again, so that this time you won’t forget it so easily.” JiHyun smiled as I nodded in agreement.

“Just through this corner.” Hwan spoke from behind us as he was engaging in conversations with our guard.

We climbed up a set of stairs on the sidewalk. The village seems to have layers that you simply walk through by these staircases on the side of the road.

Hwan decided to walk in front of us to lead us to the cafe. It was good timing too because my feet were getting more exhausted the more steps I took. Now imagine if we walked all the way to our middle school earlier? I would be dead.

“Now this place is actually run by a close relative of mine and it’s a bit more private so you could take your mask off and relax more Jimin ssi.” Hwan smiled as we approached a red building that seemed to be two stories tall with a roof deck on the top.

I can tell that it was more private than the rest of the cafe’s we passed by. All the others were near the sidewalk and closer to the edge to have a view of the village.

We went into the cozy red building. The walls were painted white with black stone tiled flooring and a black brick counter that showed the staff making the drinks.

“Why don’t we take a seat on the third floor for the view? Or would you like to stay on the second floor for the air conditioning?” Hwan asked as we all piled in front of the counter.

“Let’s go to the top and when it gets too hot some of us could come back down.” I raised the idea as Hwan nodded and told the guard to go up and get us a table before he stayed with us to order.

“Hello! What can I get for you?” The barista greeted us as we all looked at the menu.

“I’ll have the coconut jelly iced tea.” JiHyun said as the woman nodded and placed his order on the register.

“I’ll have an Americ—“

“Ahh! We were just talking about this earlier…” JiHyun interrupted the girl as me and Areum let out a laugh.

“Wha—“

“Why not try something other than a coffee that’s literally called American.” JiHyun said as I let out an even louder and breathier laugh. His interruption was uncalled for, but bless my brother and his overactive nature.

“You should try something else, Ahnna. It’s too late for a coffee anyways.” Areum added as she flicked her phone on and the digits 15:07 displayed on her phone to indicate that it was three in the afternoon already.

“Okay… I’ll have a Grapefruit Ade.” Ahnna pointed to the English menu.

“And I’ll have a Blueberry Yoghurt Smoothie.” Areum said as the three of them now looked at me for my order.

“I’ll have a Green Grape Ade.” I said as the cashier inputted that in.

“I’ll have two Americanos too! But please separate our bill.” Hwan said from behind us as the cashier nodded and typed a few things on her register.

“Please separate both of our orders too please. The Yoghurt and—“

“No need. I’ll pay for it, don't worry.” I smiled as I interrupted Areum. Her lips readied to disagree though I stopped it by pulling out my newly obtained black card.

“I don’t get it? Why do they get Americanos?” Ahnna half whined.

“They’re adults.” JiHyun responded nonchalantly though Hwan also responded at the same time.

“It’s the cheapest thing there.”

“Kindly cancel his order too and add two Cappuccinos to our order.” I smiled as I could see Hwan’s mouth slightly drop at my quick action.

“Jimin ssi…”

“Hwan, I can’t pull this out and expect you to pay for your own Americanos now.” I chuckled as I waited for the register to calculate our order.

“That will be 30,500 won. Would you like any pastries added?” The register asked as I turned to the people around me as they only shook their heads no.

“We’ll have some cheese bread with that please. Just take 40,000 won from that.” The register nodded as I handed the card to her and she swiped it before letting me sign the receipt.

“We’ll call you when it’s ready.” The woman smiled before turning around to tell her colleague about the order.

“I’ll wait here for the orders. You guys can go up.” I told the group as I removed my mask and finally got to breathe in some cold conditioned air.

“I’ll stay with you.” Areum said as the rest had already started going up.

We both sat down at a nearby table as I removed my black beret and finger combed my hair.

I wonder how cool I look right now. After flashing my newly gotten invitational black card and having my blue hair out. I must look like a dream. Though I quickly brought those thoughts down and I wasn’t usually the boasting type. What was happening? I shouldn’t be thinking like that.

“Wow, so Mr. Black Card?” Areum raised a brow as she removed her hair tie and let her long hair flow down her shoulders whilst I only chuckled.

Okay Jimin. We get it, you're rich and handsome and everything let’s stay humble now.

“You want some? They might get cold soon.” I placed the bag of Kkwabaegi and Areum gladly took one out of the bag and took a bite before peeling one braid of the twist and offering it to me.

“Gosh, you still eat it that way.” I laughed and shook my head as I vividly remember Areum eating Kkwabaegi by peeling the two braids off instead of just biting into it the normal way.

“What? It’s good! I haven’t had this in forever, and it’s still warm!” She smiled as she took a bigger bite of her strand of sugar coated bread while I took the strand that she offered me.

I took a bite of the bread and instantly felt the warmth of the bread in my stomach as we ate the bread in silence. Though it wasn’t an awkward silence between past lovers. This time it felt warmer, it felt just like it used to be before. A silence that was understood as a time for us to rest our personalities and just bask in nothing but the smell of coffee.

“Excuse me ma'am and sir, your order is ready.” The cashier waved to us as I stood up and grabbed one of the trays of our drinks.

“Thank you.” I said as I turned to the other trays debating on how I would take this up the stairs.

“I’ll take this one.” Areum took the wooden tray in her arms with a smile after she had already placed the bag of twisted doughnuts to place on my wooden tray.

“Careful.” I warned seriously, though she only laughed at me.

“Don’t worry, I had my daily trip already. I won’t trip this time around.”

And she really didn’t trip as I walked behind her on the staircase. We got up to the top floor and admired the view with rest. Ahnna and Areum had even taken pictures and videos for their Instagrams that I was sure I’d see later when I opened Instagram.

The cafe had us relaxing as Hwan and I discussed the next stops we’d take in the village.

We still had dinner with my parents later on in the night so we had to travel back to Jinam-ro on time.

We went to a few more locations around the Gamcheon Culture Village. We took some pictures with the Little Prince Statue that overlooked another angle of the village. We went to buy a few more souvenirs in the Gamcheon Culture Station. We also went to see the Stairs to See Stars, though it was difficult to take pictures when other people also sat and stepped on the stairs to take pictures.

“Gosh, this is exhausting. My knees hurt.” Areum complained as we were walking towards a small museum Hwan wanted us to see.

“You’re getting old, unnie.” Ahnna laughed though it was followed by Areum bringing a weak hand up to threaten a punch.

“We’re both too old for this. I don’t get why Hwan is taking us to all these places.” I said.

“I’m taking you to all these places because last time I heard you wanted to show these locals turned foreign around so that they get to embrace their culture again.” Hwan sassily yet calmly responded.

“Yeah, but after this I think I need to lay down for the next seven days. This isn’t a break from work. This is more intense than my workout!” I exclaimed though JiHyun only snorted at me.

“You work out, hyung?” He chuckled as a mock to my ever repeating statements of working out.

“JiHyun, watch yourself.” I warned him.

“Here we are! After this we’ll just walk back to the main road and the van should be waiting to take us back to Jinam-ro. Unless you’d like to walk all the way back to Haneul Maru?” Hwan teased though both me and Areum turned in synch to glare at him.

“At least tomorrow days we’ll be spending most of it in museums.” Hwan smiled as I threw I nodded a relieved.

“Hwan, go easy on us tomorrow.” I said as the man nodded.

“Of course, Jimin ssi. We’ll be at the museum and aquarium in Hawundae, so you’ll probably end off earlier. We could book you dinner somewhere after too…” Hwan replied as he looked at me expectantly for my plans though I hadn’t really thought much about it.

“Uh… I don’t know. Are there any good places in that area?” I thought of the idea on the spot as we were already eating out tonight, a change of menu would be great from time to time.

“Yes! If anything is going to get Ahnna more familiar with South Korean culture then it’s night life in Haeundae!” JiHyun cheered as Areum’s eyes widened at the idea.

“Oppa, I’m not legal yet!” Ahnna whined as I laughed at Areum’s reaction. I placed a hand over my mask as if I still needed to conceal my open mouthed laugh behind the mask.

“No. Maybe next time, but not right now. That’s something for Aaron to have a say in.” The older sister said as my laughter subsided though a smile still fought its way up my cheeks.

“But would you join? Have you even tried the nightlife in Korea? You left before you were even legal.” I waved my brow in suggestion of a night out though the woman only rolled her eyes.

“Jimin hyung, have you tried American nightlife?” JiHyun asked in curiosity .

“Of course! It’s nice there, their whiskey is top tier!”

“And the girls?” JiHyun wiggled his brows.

I could only chuckle. Whatever I did outside of South Korea is a different story to how I usually do it here. Sometimes I was dumb enough to join house parties that I really shouldn’t have gone to, but that was that.

“Here’s the Modern Man museum! It’s pretty small, but it’s private enough for Jimin ssi to take a break from wearing your mask.” Hwan smiled as we stood outside the small building.

I removed my mask as I read the text outside the building.

Room of our Contemporaries

Contemporary Men by Shin Mugyeong

A Village Art Project in 2012.

The work expressed the busy contemporary men who are doing repetitive tasks in their daily life by visualizing the hands tapping on the keyboards or people working at the desk.

It was self explanatory.

I stepped in first since the rest were still busy reading the sign. Inside was a TV about the working man though I only skimmed through the message before JiHyun followed me in and we both entered the main room.

A brightly lit white room with glass that separated us from the artwork. About 15 machines that visualized a clear hand pressing onto nonexistent keyboards.

Namjoon Hyun had actually started to be more open about his love for art and museums. Just like Jin Hyun and Lee Hyun Hyung and their open interest in fishing that had newly started after our photoshoot. And just like fishing, I really don’t understand the appeal of looking at interpretive art.

Yes, I agree they look incredible, but Namjoon Hyung goes into rants about artworks sometimes and I really don’t understand it. Though I try to understand that art and fishing is their passion like dancing is for me.

What a weird passion, in my opinion. But it’s their life.

“Woah, this is nice!” Areum’s eyes roamed the room as I only stood in place and looked back at the room as if I was missing something.

Was there something I couldn’t see?

No there wasn’t. Perhaps Areum and Ahnna had a better eye than me since they took a good few minutes just staring at the exhibit before we exited back out.

We soon got into the van and we were back on the road after a long day. The sun had begun to set as we sat quietly in the van. The walking and standing we did throughout the day had finally taken its weight on us as the van was completely silent on the ride back to the cafe.

I told Hwan to simply drop us off at Magnate since my parents will be driving all of us to Geumcheon-Dong for dinner.

I took out my phone and started to aimlessly check important notifications that I might’ve missed. I saw the reactions of fans on our second MOTS:7 Concept photos that showed my much more vibrantly colored blue hair. I should take more precautions now since fans will be on the lookout for a blue headed male around.

Of course ARMY loves me.

ARMY loves all of us and we love ARMY back. That’s why we’re so excited for our new album Map Of The Soul: 7 and our plans for doing a world tour. It would be a great opportunity to see ARMY again.

We all could honestly say that our souls' motivation was ARMY. They give us the power to persevere through challenges and hardships. No matter the battle, no matter the dumb fights and complications we face. If ARMY was brought into the conversation then everything doesn’t matter except for ARMY.

Our new album ‘Map Of The Soul: 7’ is our fourth full-length album and shows the honest story of our journey of discovering our true selves. ‘Map Of The Soul: 7’ looks back on the seven years since our debut as seven members in one team. Our joruney to stardom wasn’t easy and smooth sailing. We faced challenges that left scars, and we now understood that these scars were part of ourselves. Our new album will show our growth as artists and I just can’t contain my excitement for this release. Considering Taehyung and I actually have a duet that included my active participation in making the lyrics and part of the production. I just can’t contain my excitement.

I just hope ARMY will love it too.

When I finished checking Weverse and ARMYs reaction to our concept photos, I then looked around and saw that JiHyun was asleep beside me whilst Areum and Ahnna were sitting behind us though they kept their eyes on the road or on their phones.

I opened Instagram and logged into my account. Seeing reposted pictures of our concept photos before I saw Areum’s account has posted a new story.

They were snippets of our trip around Gamcheon Culture Village and I couldn’t help but sigh in happiness as I looked back at the day. It was definitely different from how I expected my break would be though I wasn’t complaining.

It was great reconnecting with old friends.

[nktales]

Navigating 'The Arduous March': Analyzing Jihyun Ah's Perspective

"The Arduous March" is a memoir by Ji Hyun Ah that reflects on her childhood in North Korea during the famine of the 1990s. The famine, also known as the "Arduous March" or the "March of Suffering," was a period of mass starvation and economic crisis that lasted from 1994 to 1998. During this time, an estimated 240,000 to 3.5 million people died from starvation and related causes. Ji Hyun Ah's memoir provides a personal account of the hardships and propaganda she experienced during this time. In the case of "The Arduous March," a thematic analysis could involve identifying recurring themes in Ji Hyun Ah's memoir, such as survival, nationality, economic crisis and poverty.

Theme 1: Self Reliance and Identity Crisis

Ji Hyun Ah's memoir highlights the importance of self-reliance in the face of extreme adversity. She describes how malnutrition was a common condition in North Korea, and how the people did not have access to medical support or even medicine for a cold. In this environment, it was essential to rely on oneself to survive. Ji Hyun Ah's family had to find ways to obtain food and other necessities, such as by trading goods on the black market. The memoir also describes how the North Korean government's public distribution system (PDS) collapsed during the famine, forcing people to fend for themselves. Ji Hyun Ah's experiences demonstrate the resilience and resourcefulness required to survive in such a challenging environment.

The famine in North Korea also led to an identity crisis for many of its citizens. The collapse of the PDS and the resulting migration and corruption undermined the government's legitimacy. Ji Hyun Ah describes how the propaganda she was exposed to as a child portrayed North Korea as a utopia, but the reality was far from it.

The famine shattered the illusion of a perfect society and forced people to confront the harsh realities of their situation. The decisions that heads of households had to make about who would and would not eat were demoralizing and traumatic. The memoir highlights the struggle to reconcile the idealized image of North Korea with the harsh reality of the famine. "The Arduous March" by Ji Hyun Ah provides a firsthand account of the famine that occurred in North Korea during the 1990s. The memoir highlights the themes of self-reliance and identity crisis, demonstrating the resilience and resourcefulness required to survive in a challenging environment, as well as the struggle to reconcile the idealized image of North Korea with the harsh reality of the famine.

Theme 2: Poverty and dreams of an individual

Poverty is a harsh reality for a significant portion of the world's population. It is not just the lack of material possessions, but also the absence of basic needs such as food, shelter, education, and healthcare. For those trapped in the vicious cycle of poverty, dreams often seem like an unattainable luxury.

In the text, there are many instances of poverty depicted.The narrator’s family had to be dependent on their relatives in China for even basic necessities like education, food and clothes. At the mere age of seventeen, the narrator had to take up the responsibility of supporting her family. She used to make songgi tteok to feed her family. She also used to chop firewood and drag it with a rope to her house.It was an extremely difficult task for such a young girl .In their house ,when the smoke started to come out of the chimney, she had to fix it all by herself. Along with this , she also had to take care of her ill mother and younger siblings.In order to get out of numerous debts her father had to sell their own belongings.When their debts increased and their living conditions deteriorated, they finally decided to leave North Korea.

During the famine in North Korea, poverty reached severe levels. The country faced food shortages, economic collapse, and a lack of resources, leading to widespread malnutrition and suffering among the population. Poverty in North Korea has also been attributed to poor governance by the totalitarian regime. It is estimated that 60% of the total population of North Korea live below the poverty line in 2020.

Dreams have the power to inspire, ignite passion, and propel individuals forward.They serve as a beacon of hope, motivating people to overcome obstacles and strive for a better life.

However, when poverty enters the scene, dreams are often pushed aside, overshadowed by the daily struggle for survival. Financial constraints can limit access to education, obstructing the pursuit of knowledge and skills necessary to achieve desired goals. Lacking basic necessities, individuals may be forced into early marriages or child labor, sacrificing their dreams for immediate survival.Living in a constant state of scarcity and uncertainty can erode one's belief in the possibility of a brighter future.

Instead of enjoying her teenage years , the narrator had to bear the burden of running her household.While the wealthy kids went to schools, took part in sports and other extra curricular activities, she had to help her father in supporting their family.She talks about how her dream of becoming a musician changed to a writer due to the harsh reality they lived in. Despite of having a passion for music and encouragement by her father, after the Arduous March, she had the desire to become a writer to record her experiences for people to read and become aware of the dire situation in North Korea.

Poverty may cast a shadow of despair and uncertainty over the dreams of individuals, but it doesn't mean those dreams are lost forever. With the right support, opportunities, and a resilient spirit, people living in poverty can still fight against the odds and pursue their dreams.

Theme 3: Economic Crisis

The theme of economic crisis is central to the text, as it describes the struggles of North Koreans during this time. The following is a thematic analysis of the theme of economic crisis in The Arduous March by Ji Hyun Ah:

Economic Mismanagement: The economic crisis in North Korea was caused by a combination of factors, including economic mismanagement by the government. The text describes how the North Korean people did not have any standard when it came to malnutrition, as it was such a common condition. Scarcity of Resources: During the Arduous March, resources such as food and medicine were scarce, and people had to resort to extreme measures to survive. The text describes how Ji Hyun Ah's family ate tree bark and rice roots to survive.

Militarization of the Economy: As a result of the economic crisis, the North Korean government began to prioritize the military over other sectors of the economy. This led to the spread of limited market activity and the militarization of the economy

International Sanctions: The economic crisis in North Korea was also exacerbated by international sanctions. The text mentions how North Koreans could not get any medical support, even medicine for a cold. Defection: The economic crisis in North Korea led to an increase in defection from the country. The text mentions how Ji Hyun Ah's family considered defecting to China, but ultimately decided against it.

Theme 4: Nationality and Patriotism

In "The Arduous March," the theme of nationality and borders is explored through the experiences of the North Korean people during a time of political and economic turmoil. As the country faced a severe famine and economic collapse in the 1990s, the government enforced strict control over the movement of people across borders. This led to a sense of isolation and desperation among the North Korean people, who were unable to seek help or resources from neighboring countries.Throughout the text, we see how the North Korean government emphasises the importance of national identity and loyalty, even as its policies lead to the suffering of its citizens. The government's prioritization of national security and pride over the well-being of its people is reflected in the strict border controls and propaganda that seek to maintain a sense of unity among the population.However, the author also highlights the ways in which nationality and borders can be arbitrary and harmful. As the North Korean people struggle to survive, they are forced to cross into China in search of food and resources. Here, they face discrimination and exploitation from Chinese citizens and authorities, who view them as illegal immigrants. This demonstrates how borders can create divisions between people and perpetuate inequality and suffering.

Overall, "The Arduous March" shows how the theme of nationality and borders can have both positive and negative effects on individuals and societies. While borders can provide security and a sense of identity, they can also lead to harm and injustice when used to enforce strict control and division.

Conclusion

The Arduous March was a period of famine in North Korea that lasted from 1994 to 1998. The famine was caused by a combination of factors, including economic mismanagement, natural disasters, international sanctions, and the collapse of the Soviet block. The North Korean government's propaganda campaign referred to the famine as the "Arduous March" or "March of Suffering". The famine resulted in the deaths of an estimated 240,000 to 3.5 million people. The famine was so severe that people were forced to eat grass, tree bark, and even insects to survive. Many people were also forced to flee the country in search of food and a better life.

JiHyun Ah, who grew up in North Korea during the famine, shared her experience of the Arduous March in an article published in The Guardian. She described how people were forced to eat fern, bracken fiddlehead, bonnet bellflower, Solomon’s seal, mountain wormwood, victory onion, clavaria, naematoloma, and other wild plants to survive. She also shared how weak and malnourished she was when she left North Korea, and how her mother sobbed when she saw her.

The North Korean government's response to the famine was inadequate, and it took until July 11, 1997, for the State Department to first make a large food donation and use the word "famine" in describing the situation. The regime's cruel policies and defensiveness led to the crisis. The famine had long-lasting consequences, including the militarization of the economy, the spread of limited market activity, and food aid from various countries.

In conclusion, the Arduous March was a period of famine in North Korea that lasted from 1994 to 1998. The famine was caused by a combination of factors, including economic mismanagement, natural disasters, international sanctions, and the collapse of the Soviet bloc. The famine resulted in the deaths of an estimated 240,000 to 3.5 million people. The North Korean government's response to the famine was inadequate, and it had long-lasting consequences. JiHyun Ah's experience of the Arduous March highlights the suffering that many North Koreans endured during this period.

Citations:

[1] https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/13/arduous-march-north-korea-famine

[2] https://www.123helpme.com/essay/The-Arduous-March-Summary-743467

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korean_famine

[4] https://www.wilsoncenter.org/article/how-did-the-north-korean-famine-happen

[5] http://www.workday.upenn.edu/http%3A%2F%2Fd53.org/m0gi1vl.htm

[6] http://www.workday.upenn.edu/http%3A%2F%2Fmestslidsu.cf/3lhidad13wwwworkdayupennedugo4

Ariktha Sunil Naidu MB227009

Aviva Raula MB227012

Mitali Subhash MB227067

Eshika Jain MB227030

Khushi Seth MB227055

Deeksha V MB227018

[wen-kexing-apologist]

I want to talk a bit about the happy ending we got because I personally loved it and I feel like the quibbles about having a happy ending aren't justified, mostly because the happy day we get is 24 hours only. (Please no one take this as a personal attack, you have a right to your own opinions on it).

Whereas we see an indication on the passage of time when JaeWon originally snaps out of his numbness, and while he still seems more sustainably energized in that time progression, we do get moments where he seems more withdrawn, concentrated, in thought, etc. within that little classroom edit. But the happiness that radiates off of him in Episode 10 is stemming from the first day of him and JiHyun being in a relationship, he is riding an emotional high of getting what he wants in the form of dating JiHyun.

I think it makes total sense that he would have one good day, with all these new and exciting things happening with JiHyun, and even with Yoon Won. He can be in a honeymoon phase and also be excited for his friend and that doesn't mean that he is automatically cured or that he won't have bad days in the future.

And unlike with Utsukushii Kare, where Hira was only slightly successful at comforting Kiyoi when he was upset, mostly by being angry at the situation and telling Kiyoi that he is special, without really being supportive (I'm thinking of the way in UK2 Kiyoi tells Hira "hey it's okay, I failed my first competition too" versus in UK1 where Hira is just mentally killing everyone that is poking fun at Kiyoi) we've already established from Episode 6 that JaeWon trusts JiHyun enough to reach out when he is having a hard time and that JiHyun is willing to listen, help, etc. JiHyun has consistently throughout the story been running emotional support. JiHyun is in tune to JaeWon enough to notice when something is off with him, he is comfortable enough with JaeWon to call him out on it, and cares enough about JaeWon to offer to be there for him when he is struggling. JiHyun is willing to reach out even when JaeWon is isolating himself intentionally from him, and he doesn't give up the ghost at the first sign of rejection after an obviously re-traumatizing event. These are all traits we have seen throughout the length of the show which indicates to me that they will have a pretty strong, supportive, and communicative relationship moving forward, but even when there is inevitable regression, they have some tools in their tool kits to navigate it.

Now granted, I don't have the same psychology background as @emotionallychargedtowel so this could be the wrong interpretation, but this show is also a work of fiction and therefore is using its scenes, colors, words, etc as metaphors and messages rather than striving for the most realistic outcome at all times. For me, a happy ending doesn't mean a happy future, and I always like to take air time, editing, etc in to consideration when watching these shows and understand that just because they are choosing to show these happy moments doesn't mean there aren't bad days peppered in. I also appreciate happy endings without adding the complexity of bad days in when a show is emotion/mental health/trauma heavy just as a pallet cleanser (ie Bed Friend having Episode 10 just be fluff, showing that King and Uea's relationship is going well and Uea gets a chance to be happy after having 9 episodes of assault and trauma). Especially with The Eighth Sense, Episode 10 is only one day and it ends on the question "do you think we'll make it?" because not even the characters know.

The Eighth Sense doesn't give JaeWon and JiHyun a happy ending, they give JaeWon and JiHyun a happy day, and end with an uncertain (but hopeful) future.

___

Also completely tangentially related @emotionallychargedtowel, JaeWon's therapist had mentioned he had been coming to see her since high school so he's been with her for years, which I do think helps establish why she is able to be so comfortably blunt with him here re: calling him selfish, and I think they try to establish that same comfortability with her swearing and cracking a joke at him in her first introduction.

The Eighth Sense episodes 9 and 10: All we can do is try

Wow! I think for the most part the showrunners of T8S did really well with the final two episodes. I have a few quibbles, but they managed to tie up most of the loose ends convincingly and do something worthwhile with the therapy part of the story, so I’m calling it a win.

These episodes don’t include a lot of further development of the psychological themes of the show, and for good reason. They’re too busy resolving everything that has already been brought up. But they do portray some shifts and make some statements about the characters and the larger themes they’re engaged with. Some fall a bit flat, most are good, and a few are really outstanding.

Below are the subject headings I’ll be geting into under the cut:

The final therapy scene

Being selfish

A shift for Jae Won

When it’s OK to expect “too much”

All we can do is try

Miscellaneous lingering thoughts

Tagging you again, @waitmyturtles!

Keep reading

[windi04]

R U Next? My top 6

So I decided to make this post before any of the other trainees have to leave the show, thereby messing up the final lineup in my head. For the most part I don’t actually have an order, but you’ll probably understand my choice of numbering when you reach the end of their post.

6. Minju

From the beginning itself I liked her. She is obviously more on the softer side, in terms of performance and behaviour both, which obviously seems to appeal to people. She’s also quite talented, and is able to maintain stable performance. She can add more dynamic to the group and balance the soft side and the powerful concepts. She is also a visual, and it probably acts as one of her biggest plus points.

5. Yunah

She had an extremely strong start, and proved herself right from the beginning itself. Although she is currently not doing as well as she might have expected, she can be a very valuable performer for the group.

Also, her chaotic energy will really help the group during variety shows.

4. Jiwoo

A well developed vocalist is what the kpop industry is in desperate need of, and here’s someone who promises to do just that. Her vocals are so effortless that people might not see it as anything special, but that’s just because you and I don’t have ears that are trained to track musical goodness, however subtle it might be. Also she has been showing some leadership qualities in the show, so I think we already have a potential leader?

3. Jeemin

I mean, she didn’t just walk in and rank first during the monthly evaluations! She kept getting robbed in the earlier episodes, but she’s a gem that is consistently bright and brilliant. I hope people do recognize her for this. She also reminds me so much of Eunchae from LE SSERAFIM, and I would love to see the two together.

2. Chanelle

She showed from the beginning itself that she is a girl with big ambitions, and she seems to be working hard for it. I will wage a war if she’s suddenly eliminated somehow - to ignore a talent like hers is just stupid. She’s an all rounder, and she has the vocals to compete with other vocalists of her generation. She can also rap pretty well, so it goes without saying that she’s one of the most valuable assets that this team can have.

1. Youngseo

Am I the only one who’s seeing a golden maknae in formation? I mean, girl went off like a bomb and has been consistent ever since! Not having her in the final lineup is going to be a big, big mistake. In fact - it would be the biggest mistake ever to be made in the history of survival shows. She also has some leadership skills, and has the ability to think of both the team and herself. She’s the absolute ace!

As a side note, here are two honourable mentions

Jihyun

She is perhaps the most versatile trainee in the show, although she definitely shines brighter in darker concepts. I was absolutely confused when she appeared in the Low team for Given-Taken, like where the hell did she come out of? And then I realized that this was the same girl that I had rooted for in the Dalla Dalla team?! My god, the DUALITY! She definitely needs to debut - it’s a shame that there are only six slots available.

Himena

Here’s another girl whose duality is even more insane. The only thing that keeps me from supporting her is her age. Imagine how unstoppable she’d be when she’s older, and more mature in terms of talent! Hybe would lose a lot if they lose her!

Anyways, that was my top six and other possible contenders. What about you?

[brighteststar707]

Hi, if I may, I’d like to request for “stealing a kiss even if you risk getting caught” with V. Thank you. <3

Hi anon! Thank you for the request!!

V - Stealing a kiss even if you risk getting caught

The hall is decorated, the lights are glittering, and everyone looks their best. From your point of view from the stage, everything seems to be running smoothly. The guests have moved away from the center of the room as people set up chairs for the auction. They're grouped up along the walls, all chatting excitedly.

Jaehee and Jumin are standing at the stairs leading to the stage, going over what still needs to be done before the auction starts. Zen and Yoosung are helping with the chair layout, and Saeyoung and Saeran are in the back setting up the screen to display the donation goals and keeping an eye on security.

There's only one person missing.

Jaehee comes up the stairs to talk to you, and it’s like she’s reading your mind.  "Have you seen Jihyun anywhere?”

Your missing piece.You have some idea as to why he has decided to disappear just as the auction is about to begin.

“I haven’t. Have you asked Jumin? Maybe he knows.” You know from past experience that they had a tendency to stick together during these events.

She shakes her head. “Mr Han hasn’t seen him either.”

“I’m not doing anything important, I’ll go look for him.”

She opens her mouth to thank you, just as Jumin calls her to come look at something from the list he’s holding. Instead, she smiles appreciatively and quickly goes back down the stairs to help him out.

Jihyun usually isn’t hard to find. Even if his hair wasn’t bright blue, he is still tall enough to stand out in a crowd. You know it’s a futile effort even before you scan the crowd from the stage for him. There’s no chance that he’s just somewhere amongst the guests. He’s hiding somewhere, and you’re going to find him.

You leave the stage and go down to check the rooms off of the main hall. There’s the balcony, the kitchen, the back rooms where the twins work, but Jihyun is nowhere to be found. 

You reach the back of the hall, and you’re about to give up and return to the stage when you hear a hushed voice call your name.

When you turn around, there he is, his face appearing from between the curtains to the little alcove spaces. The hall is set up to have private dining booths, each  with heavy curtains that can be closed off for privacy, or, in your case, to hide them all together. You had agreed with the others that keeping the guests all together would encourage more interaction between them and would fit better with the party goals.

Apparently, this also made them good hiding spaces. He smiles at you victoriously, like he’s a child who just got away with a prank, and beckons you to join him.

You’re about to protest, but you can’t find the words. His hand closes around your wrist and pulls you inside, shutting the curtain closed behind him.

“Do you want to tell me why you’re hiding from the rest of the party?” You ask, trying to keep your face stern.

He smiles sheepishly. “They were talking about having me be on stage for the auction. I hoped that if I conveniently went missing, they would start it without me.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth. He has always avoided attaching his face to his artist pseudonym, avoided interviews and photo ops and any sort of publicity Jumin has offered him. He has told you (and you have seen, more than once) that he enjoys to talk to people about his art, when it’s not about him.

Nowadays, since his return, there has been an onslaught of questions regarding his disappearance, regarding you, regarding his history. It was all too much. He would much rather chat with the people who hung out at the gallery, with people who asked him questions about the technique he used and the motivations behind the piece. More than once, you have found him surrounded by excited art students as they ask him for advice on trying out some new medium.

“Why didn’t you tell Jumin you didn’t want to do it? I’m sure he’d have listened.”

“Sure, I could have, but isn’t this more fun?”

“Playing hide and seek from the rest of the party?”

“Exactly.” He smiles mischievously. “Especially if you hide here with me.”

“Jihyun-”

“Please?”

And how can you say no? You have to admit, it’s fun hiding here in the alcove. With the heavy curtain muffling the noise coming from outside, it’s like you’re in a world of your own. Surely, the rest of the members will manage without you for a little while.

He knows he has won just by the expression on your face. You don’t even bother to protest. He reaches for your hand and pulls you closer to him, his other arm encircling your waist. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, being close to him like this is exhilarating.

Your back is leaning against the wall, with him hovering over you, smiling like he just won the biggest prize. He follows the line of your jaw with his finger, tipping your chin up so you have to look at him. He leans in until your foreheads are almost touching. Until it’s impossible to think about anything but how easy it would be to kiss him. 

Well, you do need a way to pass the time.

You thread your hands through his hair and pull him to you to close the last bit of distance between you. He responds immediately, supporting himself with one hand against the wall so he can be closer to you.

You melt into him, your lips molding to his perfectly as they move in sync. It’s slow, teasing as he runs his tongue over your lower lip. He’s having fun with this. It’s all part of the little game he’s roped you into.

Somewhere outside, you hear Jaehee’s muffled voice. You can’t hear exactly what she’s saying, but it probably means the auction is starting. Jihyun’s fingers dig into your hips, and he deepens the kiss. You tug experimentally at his hair, and he hums contentedly into your mouth.

Jaehee’s voice gets replaced with the jagged staccato of the auctioneer as he introduces the first piece. And, even closer are the regular footsteps of someone approaching the back half of the hall. Someone looking for Jihyun, undoubtedly.

He shows no indication of hearing the footsteps, and you’re finding it harder and harder to care. Why should you, when you’re all wrapped up in him?

“I should have known you were hiding.”

You both jump apart, startled by the sudden voice, and turn to see Jumin poking his head through the curtains.

“Ah, hello, I see you’ve roped our dutiful party planner into your games too. I don’t know why I’m surprised,” he says, smiling at Jihyun good-naturedly. “It’s been a while since we played hide and seek. I thought we had grown out of it.”

“That’s your first mistake, Jumin.” Jihyun says, returning the smile. You love to watch them talk like this.

“Well, if you want to come out, I promise nobody will put you on a stage.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jumin excuses himself and leaves, closing the curtains behind him. Jihyun turns back to you and you can’t help but both burst into laughter. The whole situation is absurd.

“Well, I think that’s game over, my love.”

“It was fun while it lasted.”

“I think so too,” he says, leaning down to press one last kiss to your forehead.

“Well then, let’s go see how they’re doing out there.”

[namjooningelsewhere]

War Of The Hearts - #1

Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

Word Count - 6154

Ratings - 18+

Genre(s) - Mafia au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed.

Summary - You've been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that's what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be miniscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart's at war, but it's fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

A/N - This is something I wrote while I was camped out somewhere extremely serene and this happened to hit me right there. There will be a part two to this and a final one.

This is my first OT7 written fic, and one of the writers whose OT7 writings I absolutely adore and a sucker for turned out to be my beta reader for this fic, and the best part? She reached out!!!!Thankyou Jay @jayhopely ❤️ for beta reading this for me❤️ Thankyou for taking out time for this and giving me such wonderful insights on this. I really have a long list to thankyou for🤭 Also, for the title and also helping me with the summary as well. Im so glad to have found a friend in you luv✨❤️

Stupid, An absolute Fool is what you and anyone else who knows you says. There are a lot of things that you have achieved in the twenty six years of your life on earth.

A feared Mafia woman who belonged to the most powerful Mafia circle - check

A woman who single-handedly runs an arms racket all over the country and internationally without giving a flying fuck to the other members of the circle - check

You were passed down this business as the only child to the notorious Lee Jihyun, but expanding it from Seoul to International organizations was all your doing.

But the people who knew you in close proximity, one of the very few that you could count on your fingers, knew that you had a side list as well, a rather embarrassing one.

Falling in love with people who are already in love with someone else. - check

Witnessing their entire dating history in eight years by staying on the sidelines yet not giving up on them. - check

Remaining scarily calm when you're held at gunpoint but having no balls whatsoever to just say a simple I like you to the seven people who have been the centre of your attention. - Check

"You're drooling" Jeh states, pushing a flute of champagne in your hands. You rolled your eyes at him but didn't take your eyes off the seven men who stood talking a few meters away from you. Dressed in all black suits with diamond cufflinks and each with a montone tie except Jungkook who had left a few buttons open, were a vision to the eyes.

"Go away before I gauge your eyes out" you scoffed at your bestie who made sure to remind you every time the boys and you happened to be under the same roof. "They have a girlfriend, I hope you know that." You murmured a silent acknowledgement.

"But again, when has that ever stopped you? I think I stopped keeping a count after 9, but I think this one is here to stay. It's been three years and they've been going strong. That's the longest for Bangtan.'' he added and you rolled your eyes again. You were literally there when Lily joined them, literally there when they introduced her to the circle after six months of dating her, and you were also there all the times when they brought her to parties like this one and fawned upon her.

In all these years, you were sure of one thing- Lily was the heartbeat to the hearts of Bangtan and you were just a mere spectator who listened to the beatings of the said heart.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" You heard a voice next to you. Your gaze was fixed on Yoongi who was scowling hard at some shit Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook were pulling. Without looking at the side, a smile crept at your face, and you whispered a, "Yes, they are"

Looking at the seven men often threw you into a trance and you never wanted to snap out of it.

"You should try talking to them, you know" the same voice spoke again and you smiled a little harder but in pain, "Naah, they already have someone who reigns their hearts, I'm happy to watch them being happy." You heard a small chuckle from your side but a voice pulled you out of your trance.

"Lily, baby girl we've been looking for you." Namjoon walked over to you, and your neck snapped at the side to see Lily standing beside you. She was smiling, but there was something unreadable in her eyes.

Wow! Just wow! You literally had confessed your undying love to their girlfriend. How more embarrassing could you be?

Before you could say something to Lily, Namjoon pulled her into a kiss and you backed off. Lily looked at you but you immediately moved away in haste before the years welling in your eyes threatened to spill.

Fuck your life.

You move away from the party and towards the pool. You watch the calm turquoise water glistening in the moonlight. Basking in the silence, your thoughts began running wild again.

You and the boys grew up together, it wasn't like you were friends; just the kids of the members of the circle who were trained together, but the boys were always kind. You were the only daughter/girl in the circle who was set in to take after her father. So it was a regular occurrence where people made fun of the fact that a woman would run the business in this line, or there would be times when they would try to imply that a woman wasn't strong enough or ruthless enough.

But when it came to the boys, they were nothing but supportive. Usually when comments like these would put you down they made sure to assure you with comments like "Comeon DJ these are just old geezers, you're way better than most of us anyway" or "You're built for this aren't you?".

They challenged you every step of the way to prove that you were no less. They were with you along every step of the way, speaking for you and at times fighting for you and with you.

But later on life happened and the unspoken friendship transitioned to just mere acquaintances. But the eighteen year old DJ who fell in love with all those stubborn idiots stayed right there.

A light tap on your shoulder bought you back to back to where you were wrapped in the silence of the moment. You turned towards the source and the second time you froze again. Lily!

"Listen I'm really sorry for earlier okay, just know I didnt---"

"I'm sorry" she apologized and you looked at her bewildered. Why was this woman apologizing?

"Why are you apologizing? Gosh this is embarrassing, I should be the one to apologise."

She caught your hand and stroked her finger at the back of your hand. "I'm sorry it's me and not you." Exactly what you needed! How is this even logically possible? What exactly was this woman apologizing for? For example, you would have gladly clawed out someone's eyes if they would look at your lovers like that, and here she was apologizing because your love wasn't being reciprocated.

You now know exactly why everybody always said Lily was here to stay, and why she was the woman who was dating Bangtan for three years when most of their relationships wouldn't even see the light of the six month mark. This woman was too good for her own good.

Before you could respond, Hoseok's voice echoed through the place. "Baby we need to leave, everyone's looking for you." He pulled her by his side and kissed her head. You looked down, this was painful.

"DJ, Good to see you." He smiled at you and you nodded. "Good to see you too, Hoseok -ssi." You greeted him back and excused yourself from the couple, Hoseok looked like he was seconds away from shoving his tongue right down Lily's throat.

"Enjoyed the show DJ?" Jeh smirked and you scoffed at him. "You know right you're actively trying to get yourself killed? Can you not rub it in my face anymore?"

"Exactly, why would you willingly put yourself through this pain? This is just you, this one sided love that you're harbouring inside will kill you one day, and not to mention your side job of being their body guard." Jeh rubs your back and you sigh, blinking back your tears.

It was useless, you had been through this conversation with Jeh a million times before and you were sure you would be again, a million times in the future, but the outcome would always be the same.

"Let’s leave please." Jeh nodded and you took his arm towards the exit.

------

You played with the gun on your table, dismantling it and assembling it again and again. The events of yesterday still ran fresh in your mind and there was a deep frown etched in your face as Lily wouldn't leave your thoughts. Her apology kept repeating in your mind over and over again. Why would someone apologize over something like this? Why wasn't she jealous?

"Duty calls bodyguard DJ." Jeh walked into the study, a different conviction in his stride. Very strangely he enjoyed these body guard duty calls. So basically you had another side job which started off by accident but you continued doing it by your own free will.

It was 7 years ago on a fateful night you happened to be in a crossfire that happened when Bangtan was out on a drug deal, and things went haywire and somehow they were double crossed. The rival gang had managed to ambush the seven of them, you were barely a wall away in that old abandoned factory, when the gunshots rang.

Watching the seven trying to eliminate the men, you had commanded your men to start firing at the opposite gang, and suddenly out of the dark night the seven men were not alone and somebody else was also firing at the rival gang for them.

The shootout ended with the elimination of the rival gang, but you never showed them your face and your men had been surprisingly sneaky to avoid any interaction.

Since that night, you were somehow indirectly involved in keeping a watch over the shady deals that had a chance of going wrong. As deluded that sounded and as powerful they already were, this wasn't absolutely necessary and it wasn't like every deal went south.

But there were instances when this duty ended up saving either of their lives.

It started when Yoongi got shot in the shoulder, when Taewon tried to cross him and you ended up shooting the sniper who was stationed behind Yoongi. You managed to put the sniper out but Taewon somehow managed to put a bullet in his shoulder. Yoongi had raised his injured hand to shoot him, and you had striked exactly that moment aiming straight between his eyebrows.

You were absolutely sure Yoongi wouldn't have noticed it considering both had fired at the same time.

And so began your side hustle, which ultimately made your best friend realise you were absolutely and hopelessly in love with the seven boys of Bangtan.

"Who is it now?"

"Jimin and Taehyung killed Dong-Hyun yesterday, his father is out for both of them, something is going down at 12 tonight in Sinchon." Jeh added and you stopped the assembling of the gun and looked up.

You leaned your head back and reached for your phone out of your pocket. You dialed the one number that would exactly know where Jimin and Taehyung would be. It would be hilarious if anyone ever knew that one of the members of the circle were tailed like this, they'd gasp in surprise but yet you had successfully managed to tail them and locate them in times of need and you had your network to thank for that.

"They're out for the Busan Consignment, should be heading back by 11." So that's where Song-Ho would catch them exactly an hour later in Sinchon.

"What are you going to do now? What if they kill them?" Jeh asked and you walked over to his side.

"They're definitely going to kill him if they lay their hands on him. What if they never see him in the first place?" You smirked, and Jeh knew right there it was time to break the pattern.

You arrived at Sinchon bridge just as the message said and Jeh made a few calls to pin the exact location. "Second left from the bridge near the old checkpoint." You began walking and Jeh jogged up the distance sighing in irritation. Nothing of this made sense to him, but he would be there to make sure you didn't get your ass busted.

"We have a car, you know?" Jeh announced and you laughed. Clueless idiot! "We can't alert them you know?" You sing-songed and he let out an annoyed sigh. The things people do for love.

"Make sure the obstacles are set and keep the shooter on standby if this fails they come in. Those rats need to be killed today." Song-Ho's boisterous voice echoed through the silence of the night and the men with him got in action.

"Hello Song-Ho," You walked up to the older man, who was immensely surprised by your presence. He definitely wasn't expecting you to be here. "DJ what are you doing here?" He looked at you with a stern expression and all you wanted to do was laugh in his face.

"Let's rephrase that question a little bit Song, what are you doing here?" You added mirroring his expression and fishing out your gun from your jeans. His eyebrows furrowed when you unlocked the safety lock and held it casually, rotating it in your hands.

"This is none of your business DJ, I suggest you leave if you want your pretty face safe." He stated smugly and that my friend was the first strike.

"What if I'm not leaving Song-Ho? What if this is my business?" You snickered and he lost it. "Kill this woman." He ordered his men and nobody moved. Jeh and you burst out laughing and he looked at you like you had grown a second head.

"They're aren't your men Song-Ho. You should have looked a little more carefully"

The men in question immediately pointed their guns at Song Ho and he broke out in a cold sweat. Check mate! Exactly what DJ was known for.

"What the hell is this? None of this is for you DJ. Why are you in the middle of this?" He tried to plead but you weren't in a particularly generous mood today. You hopped on to the bonnet of the car nearby and looked at the men who immediately held Song down.

"You're whore for those boys aren't you?" He spat and you chuckled. The audacity of this man. "Rot in hell you little slut.'' he spat again and you brought out the calm DJ smile while Jeh rained punches on the old man's face.

"I don't have all the time in the world Song-Ho to track down your antics. I'd rather eliminate the threat right away, I don't leave loose ends, you see and yes, I'll see you in hell old man." You pulled the trigger and aimed straight for the head. Song-Ho fell to the ground.

"Dispose him off and clear up the mess." You got down from the bonnet and started walking again. Jeh kept staring at you while you two walked, and soon enough Song-Ho's car passed by you. Job done.

"Is this how it is going to be? We eliminate the threat even before it reaches them?" Jeh questioned and you nodded. It was logical, why wait for the danger to run its course if you could nip it in the bud itself?

You were still walking when the anticipated Jimin's Porsche Cayenne passed by and you breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe.

"You really are something else you know DJ?"

The next morning marked the beginning of a new chaos for the Circle. The useless buggers had been a tad bit too careful and Song-Ho's body had been discovered and identified.

The circle immediately called for a meeting and all the members had assembled in an instant, also not to mention Song-Ho was a member of the circle.

"Namjoon, are you sure Song-Ho wasn't killed by you considering his son was his victim?'' Senior Jung questioned and Namjoon cleared his throat. "With all due respect Jung-nim, it was Dong Hyun who tried to kill Jimin and Taehyung and what happened after was a measure of self defence. I'll have you know we don't intend to violate on purpose. But we don't sit idle either if someone tries to cross us." There, right there was Namjoon, the guy who had the command that would have you listen. You could bet your life, it would be him to head the circle once senior Jung would retire or be killed or die naturally.

The room fell silent and you studied the faces in the room. They looked like they were extremely pained by Song-Ho’s death, but those two were a pain in the ass either way, so really, they should be thanking you.

All you wanted was to laugh till your eyes cried when Senior Jung tried to make Song-Ho's murder sound like treason or like somebody was out to get the members of the circle or trying to overthrow their dynasty. Bullshit! Just tons and tons of bullshit! What the actual fuck were these old men going on about.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the meeting was over, and you hurried out. Shit like this was claustrophobic as it is. You were walking out when you bumped into someone. "I am so sorry, I wasn't looking." The voice said and you looked up to see a smiling Lily.

"All we do is apologize when we meet." Lily chuckled and you smiled as well. She is sweet. "Lily." she introduced herself and you giggled. She looked amused. "Why are you laughing?" She asked and you laughed a bit more. You of all people definitely knew Lily, and here she was introducing herself so modestly.

"Of course I know who you are, Ms.Lily." you replied and she laughed, "Oh please DJ, Ms.Lily? Just Lily.” you nodded your head and suddenly she took your arm and started walking towards the door.

If she wasn't pulling you along, you would literally have frozen in your place. Was this woman for real? You walked with her and she was staring at nothing, looking like she was contemplating something.

"How long?" She asked and suddenly that piqued your interest. You knew exactly what she was asking but you were literally unsure of answering her.

"You want the hard truth or a satisfactory lie?" You asked and she giggled. "Of course the truth, dummy."

Dummy.. the fuck? No one ever called you a dummy, if anything it was always the opposite.

"Eight years." she gasped and immediately hopped right in front of you. "Are you for real?"

"Exactly what I wanted to ask you." She smiled at you and took your hand again. This woman really needed to stop. "Why aren't you jealous or something?" You asked.

"Jealous of what? It's not like I have control over your emotions. And besides they are that kind to be loved." She added and you literally could feel the room spinning.

This woman is incredible, literally incredible. How is she like this? Is it even valid to be so understanding?

"It hurts doesn’t it?" She asked suddenly, her tone dead serious. You nodded and she squeezed your hand a little bit tighter. But before she could say anything, Jimin came barreling towards her, pulling her in his arms and by default your hand too. You tried to pull your hand away, but you froze when she held it tighter. It was like she didn't want to let it go.

"DJ, woman I've been looking for you and--” Jeh froze midway when he saw the awkward situation you were standing in- Jimin hugging the shit out of Lily and your one hand tightly clasped in hers.

You threw him a ‘save me’ look, but right at that moment Namjoon joined the crowd and he acknowledged your presence, and Lily let go of your hand. You literally thanked the heavens a million times in a second.

This absolutely did not make sense.What the fuck was that? Jeh nudged you and you bid your goodbyes and left.

"What on earth was that?" Jeh stopped you once you were outside. "I'll tell you when I figure it out". Weird. Fucking weird was what you wanted to call the day.

At Crecenzo : Bangtan House

"It's confirmed. Song-Ho was out for me and Jimin that night. Something was up at Sinchon" Taehyung spoke up.

"And he was killed before he got to us?" Jimin added.

"Well, it looks like it." Taehyung added. Namjoon frowned from his seat. "So this explains only one thing." Before he could speak up, Yoongi pinned a piece of paper on the board and attached the thread from the last pin.

"108." Yoongi announced. Jin choked on his drink and his face immediately turned red. "Are you fucking serious?" He sounded shocked and the rest weren't any different either.

"This is insane. I don't exactly understand this. What the fuck is this person upto?" Namjoon looked at the board. 108 events in 8 eight years. He was baffled to say the least. He had absolutely no idea how someone magically turned up when shit hit the fan and saved the day.

They were powerful men, but they were human too. As prepared as they could, sometimes things could work out against them but somehow every time there was this magical someone who would swoop in and save the day.

Namjoon still remembered the day, absolutely clear. The day he wouldn't forget until he breathed his last. The only day where he saw death hanging tight over their heads. The day where he saw death close over his loves, the day where he thought he was going to lose the six pieces of his heart.

Right before they exhausted their bullets, and Taehyung got injured, a group of men came in suddenly out of nowhere and started raining hellfire on the rival gang. Namjoon never believed in God, but that day, that miracle made him thank the presence above. But before he could thank the men, they had already disappeared in different directions.

He couldn't go behind them since Tae was injured, but those patterns kept repeating and soon enough Yoongi drew the pattern to trace it. But the complicated part was it was never tracked. Eight years and still no clues.

As long as it didn't harm them, they didn't mind. And according to Jin, eight years is a long time to harm someone. And you don't help someone when you have wrong intentions.

Bangtan was fullyaware of your side hustle, they just didn't know who it was and why. Everyone had their own concept.

"So what now?" Jungkook asked and all the six heads looked up at him and it was already established that there wouldn't be any clues. But what did they have to lose?

What they didn't know was there was another storm brewing up in their own house. The love of their life was up for nights now contemplating something or maybe rather someone!

Life fell into routine after the weird encounter with Lily and things rather calmed down.

"This is so nice when we are just being baddies and not being someone's guardian angel." Jeh chimed in. You were out in the city to do some mundane tasksf. You smacked the back of Jehs head, he could get to you in ways no one could but you would still give away your life for him if the situation demanded and the little shit knew it.

"Code Red." Jeh suddenly alerted you and you looked in his direction. Chan-Yeol. Absolute piece of shit. He and his older brother were the most troublesome people you had encountered, they were all bark and no bite so you always kept them at an arm's distance.

"Look who the cat dragged in!" Chan-Yeol sneered at you and Jeh and instinctively your hand reached for your gun, and Jeh held your hand to stop it. "Talking about yourself Chan?" You asked and Chan-Yeol growled.

"Think you're too smart, aren't you DJ?" He scoffed and you just waved your hand infront of your face. "I don't think darling, I already am." He looked like he was about to burst, but he suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked at you straight in his eyes, "After Bangtan it's you, just you wait." Okay now he had your full attention. What was this about Bangtan in line?

He started walking away and you jogged up to him leaving a baffled Jeh behind at your sudden interest. "I want in." you announced and he stopped in his tracks.

"What do you mean DJ?'' you shrugged your shoulders and looked at him and with the most false convincing look you could muster. "If you're up for taking Bangtan down, I want in." he looked at you with suspicion yet you still remained as calm as ever.

"Scared now? So that we won't hurt you next?" He said with a smug smile and you could literally take him down without lifting a finger. Funny how they think they could destroy what you've built in all these years. You had a reputation for being the destroyer and well, Bangtan was Bangtan.

"Yes, very scared Chan. But you will reconsider right if I help you in it? Come on man cut me some slack." He literally smirked. His face screamed "oh poor baby, look at you so scared."

"I have the ace of Bangtan, and I have something that will destroy the root of them. Wait till you see them destroyed. I'm going to rip those bastards heart.'' You were genuinely curious as to what he had on them.

You were for sure going to be surprised.

You texted Jeh to go back to the warehouse and wait for the dispatch of logistics if needed. You were about to take a risk and hell, you were all about it. Well Bangtan may have played a part in it.

Chan-Yeol gestured to you to come with him, and you followed. The younger one was definitely the foolish one, full of ego. Did no one ever teach him to be cautious?

You followed him in your car while Jeh rushed back. You may or may not have kept an eye but now getting this shit thrown at your face. This was something another level planning that the universe was putting you up against.

You arrived at a warehouse right on the outskirts of the city. Chan-Yeol got down and roughly grabbed your hand and led you to the entrance. Damn this was it. You were counting patiently in your head to not rip his hands right out of his sockets.

You walked into the old warehouse and you immediately saw red. Right there was a figure slouched on a chair and you recognised it- Lily. Damn these assholes had hit a new low.

Chan-Yeol came barrelling towards you and the younger one stepped in, “She is in this with us Hyung.” He looked at you and smirked.

"Welcome DJ, we just got stronger" he high-fived his brother and right at that moment, Lily chose to wake up. She looked at you with bleaky eyes and you felt bad. Fuck, she didn't deserve this- getting caught up in the crossfire because she chose to love someone in this line.

Lily was absolutely calm when she saw you, and you just tapped two fingers behind you to gesture you were on her side. You pretended to check your phone and exclaimed loudly. "Shit!" the brothers looked up at you and pretended to panic.

"Bangtan knows you got her here, we need to move before they ambush us." The Chan brothers laughed. You facepalmed. There was no chance you'd be able to get out of here alive between twenty men and moreover, you'd end up getting Lily killed too.

"Have you gone nuts? Do you realise shifting her to some place else will give you a window to plan ahead and turn it on them." You mustered up the all courage you had and they stopped for a second. Good, that's exactly what you needed.

"Don't be stupid, you need to be smart even if it means to retreat a little. That makes you wise." They discussed something in a low voice and you just hoped you got into their head enough. They skeptically nodded their heads.

"But we're going to your warehouse, you're taking us there. They won't think that far." You jumped in joy internally. Fools, absolutel fools. "Done. Let's move now before they're here."

They grabbed Lily roughly and followed you. Lily was pushed inside the van and Chan Yeom stayed behind in the van while the younger joined you in your car. You immediately texted Jeh.

You: Eta 20, bringing two banquets alert NJ.

You were sure Jeh would take over and plan it accordingly. Since you started driving, Chan-Yeul was chattering his lungs out about how he was going to bargain and what he would bargain for in exchange for Lily. Really was it that easy? You tuned out his mindless chatter and concentrated on driving.

You arrived at your warehouse and looked at the guy beside you. He was busy looking out of the window and you cleared your throat. The men in the van immediately got out and you led them inside.

You called out to Jeh to take Lily inside and the men filed in. "This is nice shit." The older one chirped and momentarily you felt bad for them. Poor things didn't even know what would happen next to them.

''So you didn't tell us why you wanted Bangtan down?" Chan-Yeom circled around you like a prey and you stifled a giggle. "Who said I wanted them down?"

Chan-Yeol suddenly made a move towards you, his fists ready to punch the shit out of you, but you twisted his arm and spun him around in your grip and aimed your gun at his head. "What were you saying Chan-Yeol? You would hunt me down after Bangtan? Is it?"

Chan-Yeom snarled towards you but you tightened your grip on his brother and he stopped midway. Taking that as cue, your men encircled the crowd and shot the Chan brothers men one by one and a million gunshots later, all there was left was Jeh, the Chan brothers and Lily and you.

"Alerted Namjoon?'' you asked Jeh and he nodded. "You fucking whore!" Chan-Yeom snarled towards you and you took the perfect shot at his knees. He wasn't your prey after all. It would only be fair if he was thrown at Bangtans mercy. After all, it was their woman whom he had messed with.

He fell to the ground wincing in pain and Chan-Yeol took the gun lying near one of the dead men's feet and aimed it at you and you reacted exactly at the moment aiming it at his right shoulder. The brothers winced on the ground.

"Why didn't you let me die?" A voice spoke behind you and you looked at the woman in disbelief. "And what would that get me?" You replied and she smiled. Fuck, the woman wasn't even shook.

"If I wanted something like that, I wouldn't have waited for eight years. I told you this that day and I am telling you now, I am happy watching them happy. And you, my buddy, make them happy."

You added but there was still the underlying pain inside. You had to accept the fact that maybe they would never be yours. And you were okay with it.

The door flew open and footsteps followed in. You leaned on the wall next to you and Lily rushed to hug the members. Namjoon held her in a tight grip and the rest of them followed suit. You stood at the side as always, watching the men you loved pour their tears out as if no one was watching. The lot in front of you weren't any mafia, but just seven men who almost lost the love of their lives. They finally smiled when Lily assured everyone she was okay and automatically a smile spread across your face. Shit you were whipped for these men.

Jeh cleared his throat and the group immediately glanced at the men on the ground. Namjoon spoke first, "Mind if we take them DJ?" You smiled at him.

"They're all yours Namjoon-ssi, after all it's your woman they've put hands on." Jimin and Hoseok dragged the men with them. You were about to turn over when Jungkook came running towards you and engulfed you in a bear hug muttering a million thank yous.

You froze in the spot, everything coming back to you from the past eight years. His tears kept streaming onto your jacket and immediately tears welled up in your eyes. It was painful, to have him trust you with that vulnerable emotion yet it wasn't you who it was for. He was just thankful to the person who saved his woman.

You quickly pulled away, there was no way you could hug him back and let him go. One by one everyone hugged you and thanked you. You literally felt a million emotions in a minute and you couldn't even process it.

"Thank you for saving my life DJ." Lily held your hands and you smiled at her. She hugged you once again before leaving and you sighed. Hell you couldn't hate this woman. She was sincere and she had no ulterior motives.

As soon as the men left, you broke down and Jeh held you close. Being on the side was a different thing but it was different when they hugged you and thanked you for saving their woman. All the love, pain and the saddness that you had it inside, you were seeing it in their eyes but they weren't for you. It was never going to be you.

At Crecenzo : Bangtan House

The boys filed into the house after taking care of the Chan brothers. Lily was in the shower and they fled to her room waiting for her to come out.

"Baby girl, fuck fuck thank god you're okay. We thought we lost you." Jimin and Jin hugged her from both sides, tears streaming from their faces. Lily hugged them back tightly.

"You're okay right? They didn't hurt you right?" Taehyung asked, taking her hands in his. She smiled and caressed his face with her delicate fingers and he leaned into her touch.

“I’m really okay, you guys don't worry." Lily tried reassuring them but it was of no use, Jungkook just wouldn't stop crying and neither was Jimin. Hoseok and Namjoon stood silently while all of this unfolded. Both of them had a bit of trouble expressing themselves, but they would make sure you knew they were thankful for your safety when they snuggle next to you today.

That night Lily had different thoughts as she laid in her lover's arms. There were a million things in her mind. For starters, the fact that you could have easily gotten rid of her, yet you didn't. You were true to your words and somehow she didn't at all mind the fact that it had been eight years, that you of all people were in love with her lover's for eight years.

Suddenly Lily found a way to the issue at the back of her mind. She had been noticing you for quite some time. Your good intentions only confirmed it. She knew exactly how to proceed with this situation and she exactly knew now where and how to fit you in.

After all, you were her last chance and her last hope.

Florenzo - Your Penthouse :

A few days passed by, all you did was wallow in your house. You were drunk on your sorrows and the alcohol didn't seem to be helping at all. Shots after shots of whiskey went down your throat but the burn was nothing compared to what your heart was feeling.

"DJ, wake up woman! I swear to god I will kill you if you don't wake up right now. You've been holed up in here since a week now."

You groaned at the light flooding your room. You finally managed to get out of your room and freshen up. You showered and brushed your teeth and wore your comfortable clothes when an urgent knock sounded at your door.

You uttered a come in and Jeh came rushing in, "You have a visitor." He said and you started wondering who exactly could it be. But you stopped functioning the minute you walked into the lounge of your house to see Lily sitting there. What did she want now?

"Hey." you greeted her and she moved over to you and hugged you. You hugged her back and she went back to the couch, lifting her coffee cup to her lips. Your staff placed your cup infront of you and looked at her in confusion.

"I came here to talk to you." She started and you took slow sips of your drink, "Yeah tell me." you replied and she took a long breath and circled the cup.

"I came to ask if you wanted to join us?" She asked and you furrowed your brows in confusion. "Join us as in?" You were genuinely confused.

"By joining us I mean, be ours. Join our relationship" you choked really hard in your drink and the air wheezed out of your lungs. What the actual hell was this woman talking about? Lily rushed over to you and patted your back and you looked at her bewildered.

"Be yours?" You asked again to make sure.

"Yes, DJ be our woman. Be ours. If you're okay with it, date us, the eight of us."

What the actual fuck? You were almost sure you died and woke up in an alternative universe where the girlfriend of the people you loved offered you an in in their relationship.

The words kept ringing in your ears.

"Be ours".

Part Two to be continued.

[bejaeyoung]

it's a comical situation. the team are gathered around in a circle, like they're about to play some party game like spin the bottle and truth or dare. that couldn't be farther from the truth though, instead they're huddled together in this position for a team building exercise that nayoung had thought of, for some reason. thinking about it more it might not have been completely uncalled for, seeing who exactly are in the team.

despite being one of the causes of last episode's drama fuel, jay thinks he's being fairly cordial so far ( on purpose and out of spite, but still ). he's not picking fights or anything, he's not even grumpy about his placement in the team. he likes the song, he's okay with his teammates, he even lucked out and was finally working with siwoo. it doesn't even matter that he's within ren's vicinity once again. literally, because the man is sitting right next to him. can that studio delta ceo rig the wheel if he didn't even know they would be doing this exercise?

the entire time it was siwoo's turn, jay had been laughing, completely amused by siwoo's forcibly amiable responses to jihyun's comments. it has him reeling, he hasn't laughed this hard for a while—it's honestly kind of refreshing, although this was something he expected when he noticed he'd be grouped with siwoo. finally.

his laughter eventually start to die down when inho begins speaking, he doesn't want to be rude, contrary to popular belief. at least not when it comes to inho, who is someone jay generally likes and appreciates. "woah, i wasn't expecting that!" jay replies, another bubble of laughter escaping him. "usually, that's the trait people loathe from me." this time, he really didn't mean to throw any shade—ren wasn't the first to snap, but it's certainly what got jay into that big argument before. "you do get the privilege of watching it unfold throughout the entire show, since we kept being put in the same team until the end. maybe it's destiny, and you're my ride or die." he nudges inho's side.

but now it's time for jay to say his piece, since it's his turn. "i'm really proud of what i did in my don't call me team, even if we didn't win. that retro mad max concept was really fun to do too, and that's the first time i got along with.. literally every person i was talking to." that obviously didn't carry over to the next team he was in, though. "i never made that many positive connections in one sitting." that's nothing surprising, considering his current track record and what has been documented up to this point.

he has to say something positive about @renxbe in turn after that, which causes jay to hum, genuinely racking his brain for something. it's not like he knows ren all that well, he never got the chance to either ( right now, he doesn't want to anyway ). bullshitting an answer feels like a cop out though, even when it comes to trivial matters like these jay is competitive and resolved. eventually he does spare ren a look, and just for good measure he gives ren that same diplomatic smile. jay hates it, he hates anything that reminds him of his parents, but it got under ren's skin last time.

"you're talented," jay states; fact. "when you're actually mentoring us i can tell that you have a good voice too. it's obvious you're gifted, but you clearly also polished your skills to reach that level." jay shrugs, he's not petty enough to bite back his tongue when it comes to music in the first place. "so, yeah, i guess that's what i'd list down. it's not like we got to sit down and talk for me to know more about you. or the better side of your personality." best to keep it that way. neither of them would be eager for such a situation.

it had been a genuine effort, but he doesn't really care how ren perceives his words either.

the "bang!" team was truly the most chaotic team inho had been on thus far, and he wasn't even part of the chaos. of course, he knew of the tension between jaeyoung and ren from the previous week, but he had trouble keeping up with the rest. he though siwoo and jihyun hated each other too, and he thought siwoo and jaeyoung were best friends and teaming up, so he wasn't sure where ren stood with siwoo or where jihyun stood with jaeyoung. it was difficult. all he knew was that he and seira got to watch along with nayoung.

after his critiques from the previous week, it was probably best not to ruffle feathers. inho thought he looked perfectly fine throughout the performance, like he enjoyed it, but the judges seemed to disagree. they made it very clear that they were the professionals who knew it all. it was something he could move on from, but still, moving into the finale he didn't like his current placement towards the bottom of the pack. he liked the original song he was apart of though, so that helped.

there was apart of inho that wanted to protest to this team building exercise, but as everyone fell into the randomly assigned circle, he took his place between siwoo and jay. nayoung was nice enough as she started, but something didn't feel genuine with siwoo and jihyun, knowing there was some tension there. he leaned back on his hands, legs extended in front of him and crossed, observing. one thing he was proud of and say something nice to the person to your left.

when siwoo said his compliment, inho gave him a small smile, which then turned into a curious but amused look with the light backhanded comment about how siwoo evaluated his abilities. "why thank you siwoo," inho said as the other male came to an end. now it was his turn. "hmm...something i'm proud of is also being able to step out of my comfort zone, try new things, and end up getting to this point in the competition. i wasn't actually the one who signed myself up for the audition, it was my friends. the only reason i showed up was with their very....relentless, encouragement. i'm happy i did though. i hadn't considered being an idol before but now it's something i've put a lot of thought into and realize i enjoy."

it was a stretch but inho could stretch the truth a bit for the camera. enjoy was a strong word, he didn't mind it, but the judges would call him ungrateful, and they didn't need to know the monetary encouragement his friends also offered.

with his statement of prided shared, he turned to the left to look at jay. "oh @bejaeyoung ..." he began in a teasing tone before shifting to someone more genuine. "i admire your determination and ability to have fun. you weren't kidding when you said you were an enigma, and i enjoy getting to watch it unfold." jaeyoung was the one person on the team inho knew fairly well at this point, having been together for all three of the team performances. the compliment was honest. jaeyoung always seemed to be having fun, even if his temper got the best of him sometimes.