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twstedstoryshop · 3 years ago

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Thunderstruck

Happy birthday to everyone’s favorite croc boy, Sebek!!! I have no idea if this b-day fic is any good or not because Sebek’s personality can be hard for me to grasp. But hey, it’s very, very sweet with lots of Sebek loving. -Shopkeep

It’s Sebek’s birthday and the party is underway! However, birthday boy isn’t exactly jumping for joy as the Ramshackle Prefect, who he is absolutely not pining over, hasn’t shown up yet! Where could Yuu be?

Content: Sebek x GN!Yuu, Fluff

Blistering winds, pelting rain, and the occasional streak of lightning. Not exactly the greatest recipe for birthday weather but for the students of Diasomnia, it just added ambiance for the party. The entire lounge was decked in fine black, purple, and blazing green decor that gave a fierce but elegant finish. All kinds of wonderful food was spread out for the guests and chatter livened up the usually gloomy interior of the dorm. At the center of it all was a content Sebek, dressed in a fine suit the college provided for birthday boys.

Even though it was his birthday, Sebek still stood upright and at attention. He stayed close beside his usual group of friends being Silver, Master Lilia, and of course, the Young Master. Occasionally he would throw in some conversation as all three of them chatted, but it was clear Sebek was distracted. His eyes scanned their crowd, unconsciously trying to find the notable features of a certain someone. Lilia chuckled lightly behind his gloved hand at Sebek’s unconscious behavior. It had Malleus glancing over as well and the two older faes exchanged knowing looks.

“Sebek, are you alright? Your mind seems to be somewhere else?” Lilia piped up and Sebek jolted.

“Ah, my apologies, Master Lilia! I did not mean to be so inattentive,” Sebek quickly blurted out, but Malleus raised his own hand to ease the troubled knight-in-training.

“Sebek, at ease. It is your birthday. You can get away with some good distraction here and there…”

“Young Master, I could never!”

“He’s right, you know!” Lilia tutted. “Birthdays should always be a good excuse to have a little fun. All work, no play makes a dull boy, as the saying goes. Now off with you! Why don’t you greet your first-year friends!”

Sebek was powerless at Lilia’s insistence coupled by the shorter fae floating up to push lightly at his back. Sebek was instantly lost in the crowd, now a fair distance from the comfort of his dorm mates. Fortunately he wouldn’t be lost out at sea for too long as the grand doors of the lounge were opened for a certain group of first-years.

“Man! Even when we ran, we still got soaked!” Ace complained, trying his best to wring out the corners of his uniform.

“Jack! Don’t shake yourself, you’re getting water everywhere!” Epel exclaimed followed by a sheepish “Sorry” from the guilty wolfman.

Sebek approached the group with sudden hurried steps and formally greeted the group. “You all made it, welcome,” though his antique golden eyes didn’t really focus on any of the boys. Instead, he tried hard to find a certain Prefect and his shoulders sank a bit noticing their absence. This did not go unnoticed by the quartet. Deuce quickly came forward to defuse the situation, jutting his arms out with a gift in hand.

“Happy birthday, Sebek! We’re glad we could make it on time despite the weather!”

Following Deuce’s lead, everyone offered their gifts and birthday greetings to which even Sebek did genuinely offer a small smile in return. Gathering his gifts, he led his friends into the heart of the party and allowed them to feast on all the food the dorm had to offer. Things were going rather well! Yet even surrounded by friends and bright festivity, a thought gnawed on the back of Sebek’s mind like an annoying pest. He truly wanted to shove such ugly feelings deep down. It was such a childish notion to get upset over. Yet in his mind, Yuu restlessly hovered over him like the clouds that gathered over Diasomnia.

Was he not clear that they were also invited? Did something come up suddenly for them? Did they not want to even come here in the first place? More and more he raked his mind over these questions. It was so clear that Sebek was troubled by how uncharacteristically quiet he was and how often he kept gazing downwards, finding the stone tiles of the dorm much more thrilling than engaging with his guests. Time was ticking away and both the Diasomnia students and first-years exchanged looks, wondering where the unspoken guest of honor was going to show.

CRRK-BOOM!

A powerful lightning strike, a flash of white by the windows, guests jumped, and the doors swung open.

“NyaaaaaAAAAH! GIMMIE THAT BIRTHDAY BUFFET! I DESERVE IT!” A shrill, familiar yowl echoed through the lounge. A blur of gray, white, and blue dashed for the nearest catering table and gorged itself on whatever was in paw’s reach. Ace was first on the scene alongside Sebek, ready to scold Grim for the ruckus but both nearly fell backwards at what they saw.

“Grim, is that you!? What happened to you!?” Ace exclaimed

What should have been a monster cat now looked like an electrified puff ball, all of his fur standing up pin-straight.

“Why don’t you ask Yuu!? That’s the last time I ever do something like that! Even with an extra tuna bonus for an entire week,” Grim grumbled between mouthfuls.

At the mention of Yuu, Sebek turned his head to the dorm’s entrance and saw the heaving Prefect, soaked to the bone and their hair also similarly frizzed like Grim’s. In their hands, a water-logged item was wrapped in brown paper and twine.

“Human!” Sebek raced over to them and hastily brought them, making way for them to dry off by the roaring fireplace. “What has happened to you!? What were you and Grim up to!? How long were you outside!?” Loud, rapid fire questions were fired one right after the other. All at the usual trademark volume Sebek spoke at. Yuu couldn’t answer all of them as they still were recovering from whatever escapade they and Grim were up to. Instead, they wordlessly offered the wrapped up object to Sebek.

“Present,” they wheezed.

Sebek blinked owlishly at Yuu. “What?”

“Open it.”

There was a moment to digest and Sebek cautiously took the present in hand. It was easy enough to peel the soaked wrapping away to reveal a large mason jar with dark clouds rolling within. He furrowed his brow, unsure of what he was looking at.

“Let it come out. I promise it’s nothing bad.”

So he did. With a quick unscrew of a cap, the clouds trapped within the jar came flowing out. Now unfurled to its full glory, Sebek would be greeted by a puffy gray storm cloud that was no bigger than his head floating in front of him. He could hear gentle thunder rumbling inside of it and green sparks illuminating it, making it give off a gentle green light. A small crowd gathered around, fascinated by the sudden magical gift.

“Human, what is this?” Sebek asked as his eyes never left the cloud, fascinated by the light and sound it gave off.

“It’s a cloud lamp!” Yuu cheerily explained. “Only it’s an actual cloud, sort of. It’s a nice night light and it gives you relaxing distant thunder to listen to. You can always put it back in the jar with a little magic if you want it out of sight. Do you like it?”

“It’s a very interesting gift, but… I’m curious how did you get your hands on this? Did you make it?” Sebek eyed Yuu’s disheveled appearance but Yuu waved his concerns off.

“Don’t worry about the details! As long as you’re happy with it, that’s all I can ask for,” and Yuu flashed a big grin up at him. Sebek felt his heart jump a little at the brilliant smile and he could feel his ears starting to burn red. He could hear the first year boys chuckling and making comments, but they were deafened by how focused he was on Yuu. To thanklessly work for his sake just to give him a heartfelt present. Yuu’s boundless generosity was something that came in like a sudden stormfront. It shocks, it’s loud, and it surrounds him entirely. Yet Sebek didn't run from it, he relished in it. But he’d never dare say that in front of the others.

“Oh my, what a charming gift!” Lilia said as he floated over to inspect the cute storm cloud. “But… Don’t you have to catch actual lightning to create the thunder effect? It’s quite risky to do! Usually people just leave it as a fluffy white cloud.”

Sebek’s eyes bulged and his pupils turned into hair-thin needles. “YOU WHAT!?”

“Ahhh… I said don’t worry about the details, haha…”

#scrawlingquill #twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland scenario #twst imagine #twst scenario #twisted wonderland x yuu #twst x yuu #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x yuu

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mega-bastard · 4 years ago

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Bitch in Heat Stuck Under Debris Gets WRECKED

a miki mouse whorehouse collab, the m.list you can find here

cw: sexual harrassment, abo themes, dubcon kinda

as the poor quality picture can’t really show you, I got stuckage and I chose Bakugo with the finishing touch of making it ABO <3 It’s also two days late but shhhhh we don’t talk about it uwu also 2.7 words of pain enjoy

katsuki bakugou is becoming a thorn in your side.

you’ve both been metaphorically and somewhat literally glued to each others sides since highschool. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, to be quite frank katsuki is something of a deterrent in a world of second genders and pheromones— something you capitalized on in high school.

being an omega hero isn’t something entirely world shattering, but it’s a position that comes with lots of stereotypes— stereotypes you fought tooth and nail to fight against in your younger years. being one of four omegas in your class was...irritating, to say the least. lots of preconceived notions that you needed to be helped with trivial things, and while your classmates intentions came from a good place it was maddening. save for katsuki, back when he had no restraint with his anger and aggression, he didn’t coddle you like your classmates did. Labeled a brute for his actions towards his omega classmates in trivial interaction or sparring, you thrived on the normality— katsuki was an ass to everyone. Your omega was placated, finally encountering an alpha who wasn’t belittling her with preconceived daintiness.

it was easy to hang near katsuki, ignoring the atrocity that was his vocabulary. eventually like the rest of the peanut gallery that was the bakusquad, you just existed alongside katsuki— which meant that you grew on him. katsuki swears up and down that you’re all a nuisance but you’ve seen him go up to bat for all you at some point, you knew you’d all made some sort of ragtag pack with one another. this was rather amazing to you at the time, not to sell yourself short but you’d never really imagined belonging to a close knit group of friends— especially realizing that they understood when it was appropriate to step in for you. katsuki in particular had a knack for being at the right place at the right time.

During your second year you fumbled.

interning with miruko had its perks, a top 5 hero with raw strength, cunning, and the drive to just keep going— and an omega. landing and internship with her had been a dream, even more-so when you learned she’d been watching you since your first year because of the festival. bright eyed and eager, nothing could have dampened your spirits— neither katsuki and his usual moody behavior or the standoffish alpha from shiketsu. yes, you all had landed an internship with miruko and part of you was...worried? katsuki had never looked down on heroes based on their second genders but you couldn’t speak for the shiketsu alpha, both alphas interning under an established omega hero put your inner omega on edge— you didn’t quite know why though. but you chose to squash the feeling and enjoy your internship with who was essentially your idol and continue on.

then you started getting sexually harassed.

his name was omori kisai and he was the worst. hailing from shiketsu, known for their dignified schooling, he was far from it. salacious comments dropped when no one was listening, less that appropriate touching when passing by and just general ick that had your skin crawling and omega snarling. it was easy to brush it off as banter the first time, section off the awkward contact as an accident. The second time you made it clear the comments were not liked and the touches far from appropriate, after the third time you’d snap an insult or have to hold a trembling fish from making contact. but it was coming to a head and your suppressors could only do so much to hide your souring scent. looking back you should have said something, but your pride had told you that it was a necessary step to overcome and push through— that he wouldn’t be the last. it weighed you down, day by day, a heavy cloud that wouldn’t let up. one particular bad timed comment brought tears to eyes and shame to your entire being.

thankfully, as time would come to show, katsuki tended to nose into your dilemmas.

the day prior to the abrupt end of your harassment you’d been tripped up by a villian and had fallen a sizeable distance into a pitiful excuse of pond. of course, omori had taken this as an open invitation to mock you and then offer you his shitty hero costume cloak— not without hinting at you returning the favor ‘somehow’. yeah right. you had stomped off, unaware of katsuki’s presence nearby. come next day, omori avoided you like the plague and katsuki not so subtly stuck to your side like an unwilling chowchow— all growly and temperamental. but his constant presence rubbed his scent off on you. despite his less than chummy attitude, you weren’t mad; katsuki smelled like cinnamon spice and whiskey with hints of burnt caramel— absolutely overpowering yet decadent all the same.

you tried not to think about just how much you enjoyed his smell. your omega was purring about it.

the omori incident was the beginning of katsuki’s subtle hovering. though you pried the truth of his involvement in omori leaving you alone after offhandedly bringing it up to mina and jirou one day, katsuki helped you out of situations as invasively as possible time and time again. by the end of third year it was no secret to you of your classmates teasing of your relationship with katsuki; an amiable and prideful omega and the irritable powerhouse of an alpha. you brushed it off because...well you didn’t know why, but katsuki’s seeming indifference to the teasing had you quelling every jittery happiness your inner omega expressed at the thought of katsuki being your alpha.

now, three years out of highschool and beginning to climb the ranks, katsuki was becoming testy— and for the life of you the reason couldn’t be more opaque. you both work at the same agency, and due to the nature of your quirks you spend all your time together due to their compatibility. compatibility was a bitter word for you, katsuki and yours supposed compatibility had been talked about for some time now but the sobering reality is that perhaps you two were simply good friends— and now sharing your omegas endearment for the explosive alpha had reared its ugly head.

your heat was a week away and already you felt the familiar fatigue begin to lap at you alongside general moodiness. all that coupled with the annoying need to be around katsuki was maddening and sprinkling his own extra grouchy attitude on top and you were ready to snap. in hindsight, that should have been your cue to take an extra week off— instead you chose to once again to champion pride instead of your intellect.

you could have stayed home this morning, you should have.

patrol had been slow, not particularly unusual but favored nonetheless. face raised to the slowly dipping sun you couldn’t help but sigh, the warmth of the late afternoon sun was heaven sent-- you could sleep standing up with much issue. it remided you katsuki, strangely enough though most things did recently.

the sound of screaming and rushing feet shook you from your drowsy stupor. Set on alert, you spied the source of the sudden discordance and found several villains causing a commotion. quickly calling for backup for you before finding yourself facing a hulking mass of green charging you head on. tranquility gone, it was time to fight.

the ache in your body could not be more apparent but your humiliation ran more rampant in your system than any ache or pain could, your fatigue more than present as your body hummed with warmth. leave it to you to get stuck face down and ass up amongst the trashed ruins of what was an office building, weighed down between a broken desk and a collapsed bookshelf. the villain you had engaged with, some self-named idiot calling himself cruel croc, packed a punch and your bruised body and rendered office floor were a testament to that. of course, you’d done quite the bit of damage to him yourself before the entire floor collapsed underneath you both— rendering the meathead unconscious under a rather hefty pile of concrete and debris whereas you were pinned and to utterly weak to do much.

the thrum of your heat was beginning its path of vengeance through your body, feeling too pliant to get yourself out of what was otherwise easy to fix problem. you were feeling it, bad. the heat of your clothed cunt was beginning to become too apparent, unconsciously squeezing your thighs to provide relief to no avail. no, this could not be happening right now of all times. but as much as your inner monologue fought to try and will away your heat, the warmth was becoming too much and sudden breeze of wind had you trembling and whining. the feel of slick beginning to wet your hero costumes spandex set your hazing thoughts into sudden panic, if cruel croc woke up or if another villain came across you would they be above...the thought alone could’ve made you puke. flashbacks to second year had you bucking wildly for freedom, you wouldn’t let anyone have the opportunity for—

“ OI! Shitty ‘mega were are you? Are you—��

you stilled, biting hard to keep your mouth shut. your omega was whimpering, desperate for the alpha, HER alpha to relieve her from her heat. on a normal day she could melt into his scent, but right now? she could drown in it and die happy. with his scent getting stronger the closer katsuki clambered toward you, the more the head haze grew-- the slicker your thighs became. the whimper you let loose was pitiful, the need for some sort of stimulation to your cunt becoming near painful the longer you remained so close yet so far from katsuki. the pathetic little “alpha” you whined as you heard him quickly approach from behind would’ve been utterly embarrassing to you in any other situation.

but if you could have turned to see katsuki, you would’ve been met with the look of an unmistakably feral alpha-- pupils dilated to hell, fingernails blackened, and canines elongated and sharpened. but what you lacked in sight, you could hear and smell.

katsuki was the definition of an alpha as is, but the way he was pushing his scent out was like a big red sign that screamed ‘DANGER’. To you, it had you feeling utterly submissive-- if you weren’t already face down and ass up you certainly would’ve moved into position. practically salivating at the thought of what katsuki could do--

the heated palm on the globe of your ass is thought pausing, the sudden heated touch coaxing a sugary sweet moan from deep in your throat-- the small touch quickly turning to rough palming at your moaning. tt feels so good, but you want more. need more.

“Please, need more Alpha” it's breathy and whiny, something you're far from day to day but it feels too natural escaping you. mewling at the ghost of a touch over your clothed cunt, your blubbering when it presses harder-- escalating you to tears of frustration when it ceases. practically feeling katsuki’s harsh breathing near your cunt you begin to wiggle and wail with all manner of unrestrained vigor; chanting alpha and katsuki like a prayer and begging for relief like a sinner for forgiveness. it’s working, you know it is, if katsuki’s breathing is anything to go by but he refuses any further touching. you want katsuki everyday, but right now you need him.

“Only want you Katsuki, please it’s only been you,” you hiccup your words through a shrill plea, but the tearing of your soaked spandex sends an excited chill down your spine. your legs tremble with excitement when katsuki grips the tops of your thighs and spreads them-- revealing your drooling cunt. it’s both too much and not enough all at once and you wiggle once more, yelping from a smack to your left ass cheek. it’s not particularly painful, not even as katsuki rubs over it right after the hit, but it quells your wiggling nonetheless. you open your mouth to urge him on but he beats you to it.

“No one else, you got that ‘mega? No one gets to see you like this, no gets to touch you like this-- your mine,” he punctuates his declaration with two of his deliciously thick fingers in your cunt and you squeal, “ you got that? I’m your alpha, always have been always will be.” nodding despite yourself, you struggle for words with his fingers pumping in and out alongside the ghost of pressure on your clit “Yes! Yes, I’m yours Katsuki!” you babble your words already teetering on the precipice of your first orgasm. it takes a pickup in pace and a rough rub along your clit and your wailing, slick streaming down your thighs as your first orgasm crashes into you.

despite the pleasant haze in your head, you faintly hear zippers being undone and the shuffling of clothes. licking your lips, you perk your ass up as much as the heavy bookcase allows, purring in excitement like a spoiled cat. The rough grab of your hips leaves you gasping, feeling the length of katsukis dick along your thigh-- long and heavy. you're salivating as he lines himself up with your weeping cunt, ramming his entire length in you with little regard. stars shoot across your vision and your ears deafen, crying out at being so full. it feels wonderful being stuffed this full and you babble it to katsuki. if you could see him, you would see just how prideful and smug he looked-- only he can take care of you like this, none of the other shitty alphas can take care of you this well.

katsuki sets a rough pace, drawing himself out slowly like he’s aiming for you to feel every vein of his dick before slamming back into you. your poor cunt clenches sporadically, drawing groans and growls from your alpha and all you can do is choke on broken moans because the way he feels churning your insides is downright sinful. you felt a band begin to tighten in your belly, your broken moans evolving into babbling-- how good katsuki was making you feel and how he was the only one who made you feel this good. it spurred him onward, fucking into you with more vigor alongside groans of your names and his own praise for you. “Good fuckin ‘mega”, “Takin’ me so well”, and “My perfect little mate” were some of the praise you could catch and had you preening. All of it combined you felt the band tighten and you couldn’t stop yourself from sobbing out. feeling the base of Katsuki’s length begin to swell, you could only salivate at the thought of being knotted.

“Want your knot Katsuki! Alpha I need it”

at your blubbering demand, katsuki faltered in pace for only a moment before a deep mix of a groan and growl ripped from his throat. grabbing and bending your leg upwards he fucked deeper and faster into your battered cunt, the new angle sending you hurtling into your orgasm. eyes rolled back and tongue, you felt utterly boneless-- momentarily brain dead before screaming out at Katsuki knotting you, his own groan of pleasure mixing with yours as he filled you impossibly full with his seed.

trembling underneath him, you were only a fraction aware of movement above you before the weight of the bookcase vanished from you. weakly you glance back up at your alpha. your surprised to see just how feral he looks, no doubt you’ve pushed him into his rut. whimpering as he moves down upon you, he nibbles and kisses along your jaw and neck before biting down on you scent gland. a flash a white hot pain curtailed by just as intense pleasure wracks your wrecked body but the dopy look of happiness pulls a low purr from katsuki.

you wanna say something, anything, but your too exhausted and as katsuki knot subsides you let another weak whimper as he removes himself-- feeling his seed spill from your battered cunt. he pulls a quiet moan from you as he gathers some of it a pushes back in-- and a glance at his smug face lets you know that he’s decidedly not done with you yet.

#miki mouse whorehouse collab #whorehouse compilation [rawdog 1080p] (try not to cum)#stuckage #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #abo #alpha/beta/omega #omegaverse #alpha katsuki #omega reader #self indulgent in that I want more alpha katsuki #so #I'll do it myself #happy belated valentines whores <3

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oonajaeadira · 2 years ago

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my 3 crocs

@grogusmum and I were having a comments-section convo about Crocs thanks to the latest chapter of my Dieter fic. For so long I’ve held Crocs as my guilty pleasure. The people in my life are not usually that snobbish, but there’s some Nickleback-like backlash against them around here, so I tend to hide my love of them. I will say I do not really like the traditional clog style, but I kinda love that they’re becoming trendy among thekidsthesedays�� and I secretly love seeing Pedro in them.

As someone with a messed up back but who walks a LOT, Crocs are a dang godsend. But they don’t have to be clogs...

I won’t show you my actual first pair because they’re dirty. And they’re down in the bedroom and SO is asleep. But I remember when my friend Kat learned that they were Crocs. She was both horrified (that I owned Crocs) and impressed (that I’d been wearing them a while and she didn’t realize they were Crocs). Then she begrudgingly gave her blessing, deeming “lady Crocs” acceptable footwear. For me. (NEVER for her. Kat’s a hilarious firebrand and I love her.)

They’re very old and they serve mostly as my garden shoes now.

Lady Crocs!

My next pair of Crocs came during a time that I was looking for sandals and couldn’t find a pair that I liked. I don’t really like to wear shoes that expose my toes (as someone who has had hers run over and knows what it feels like to have a nail come off), but we had an extremely hot and wet summer, so non-leather sandals it had to be.

They are more pink and orange in person, but the lighting is weird in my house.

Sandal Crocs!

And finally, the pair I bought last week and am calling my Dieter’s GF Crocs. My massage place is near a Marshalls so I take the opportunity afterward to swing through and see what’s offered. And damn if i didn’t fall for these. I had been thinking about Dieter and wanting another pair of Crocs that covered my toes, but I see that the clogs are mainly what they’re making these days. Well, if Dieter can rock them, then I can too. Then I saw these and heard angels singing because they’re sweet and weird and not the traditional clogs.

Behold my Dieter’s GF Crocs! (our yard is full of clover and creeping charlie right now and I love it--the bumblebees love it more):

So there you have it. Adira is a full supporter of Crocs and will be silent no more. They are awful, but they are comfy. And while they’re probably horrid for the Earth, they do last several times longer than most shoes and I very rarely replace them and have yet to trash a pair, so it’s a tradeoff for me. Ta Da!!!

*I still think the clogs are ugly though but I love that Dieter wears them both ironically and not ironically and I will shake my head at P when he appears in them but also good for him be comfy king you’ve earned it

#crocs reveal

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 years ago

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Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

#Psycho Analysis #The Suicide Squad #Savant #Michael Rooker #Javelin #Flula Borg #TDK #Nathan Fillion #Weasel #Sean Gunn #Mongal #Mayling Ng #Blackguard #Pete Davidson

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alleunwalk · 3 years ago

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random theory rambling about ego jinpachi. honestly this is just an opinion and im just randomly rambling so if this offends you sorry. im literally just throwing ideas around.

SPOILERS UNDERNEATH! so all we know is that he’s the coach for blue lock. we see him as this creepy, arrogant, yet extremely intelligent and knowledgable individual. but what’s his backstory? when we first get introduced to him he’s described as “indispensable” and we see him be pretty harsh on the boys

he’s blunt, cut-throat, and don’t ever count on him to sugarcoat anything. however there are some interesting moments where we see a hint of who ego really is. (aside from being a total slob who wears crocs)

in these scenes ego pretty much has a “YOLO/fck it” attitude and seems to be planning on retiring from the soccer world asap. however the part when he mentions “all the things i couldn’t eat then...are the only things i eat now.” it makes me wonder - what happened? was he ill? and this is where my other guess comes in-- what if ego was a star soccer player from the past? he was the egoist striker that he is currently trying to create.

when anri talks about the “miracle” move nagi did - we see that ego dismisses it saying it’s “easy” and anri talks back implying that ego himself probably couldn’t even pull off. again- perhaps he was a player?

in the second meeting with the soccer association the higher ups are demanding ego to hurry and find japan’s soccer star because they find the blue lock program a waste of time and money. however ego points a super interesting...and oddly specific example of how japan’s soccer association treats their athletes. perhaps ego has experienced this firsthand? or watched old fellow teammates go through what he described? either way it’s pretty suspicious (but also understandable) on why ego is feeling this way because he doesn’t want the same cycle to continue. also ego throughout the series has consistently talked about boosting your ego and constantly questions what exactly does it mean to be talented? maybe ego was someone who was talented but was unfortunately snuffed out by the soccer association? maybe he changed his identity and appearance after a bad fall out and became a coach to lowkey get back at the soccer association in his own way?

in the third meeting when the higher ups are asking for a match between blue lock vs. u-20, ego once again brings out how they snuff out people’s dreams and seems to be holding a very odd grudge against them for it.

when he tells the boys about the match he tries to basically project his desire to crush the higher ups onto them and thinking that they will be the new faces that overturn japanese soccer. he even tells them “ as for me, coming from a levelheaded and realistic standpoint, i say this with absolute certainty...you can overturn the world of japanese soccer”.

finally we get to the u-20 match and ego suddenly brings back his “yolo/fck it” attitude. the team is in a dire situation and yet ego just responds with: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

was this ego’s goal all along? even if he loses the match- he planted his “seeds of revenge” (or whatever you wanna call it) onto the boys so now they have the potential to overturn the japanese soccer world like ego dreamed of?

we also see ego actually genuinely complimenting the boys for once (shocker!) on how their “performances earned that” (they are all 100% going to be scouted and now have the potential to join whatever team they want) and that they should be proud of all that they accomplished from blue lock. (ok ego i guess get that shameless credit clout and free plug from the boys lmao)

HOWEVER-- isagi is not having it.

he demands ego do something so that they can all actually win and mentioned the fact that having a big ego is what ego himself has taught everyone after all.

anyways -- as the match comes to a close i hope the story continues on and we see what ego jinpachi is all about. what’s his deal? why is he so hellbent on projecting his ideals of an egoist striker onto the boys? also where does this immense knowledge of soccer- the good side, and the ugly side come from--personal experience?? was he a player or maybe in the end....he’s just a soccer otaku who’s there for shits and giggles? let me know your thoughts.

#blue lock #ego jinpachi #also i hope they are paying my girl anri well because the amount of misogyny she deals with is not worth it!!! free my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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gothamcitycentral · 3 years ago

Note

Since your a killer croc/waylon jones fan, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the brief relationship he had with baby doll in TNBA

Okay, so I finally got around to watching the episode (Love is a Croc). Sorry this has been sitting in my ask box for so long.

So I really like the start of the episode, it sets up Baby Doll’s character and frustration really swiftly and effectively. But I feel like the problem starts with the judge scene (Croc’s introduction in the episode). His response that no one knows how tough his life has been because of his condition, feels, to me at least, much like an excuse from a character standpoint and an reason for Baby Doll to form a connection from a writing standpoint. Because the episode uses Baby Doll as the emotional backbone, they leave the action to Killer Croc. Now, I get the reason why they did this, but it still leaves KC feeling in-genuine for the whole episode, someone that Baby Doll became attached to for surface level reasons rather than their actual similarities. But besides that, the like how the two interact.

KC treats much more like partnership than a relationship, but he has slight moments of genuine happiness from the affection Baby doll provides.

But they lose anything they have going for them by having Croc sneak off for a “meeting”. We cut to him exiting a building on the docks, two clearly “seductive” women around both arms.

This is really dumb. And also clearly meant to strength Baby Doll’s character at the cost of KC’s.

This wouldn’t happen. I don’t care how much money Waylon brings with him. The thought process will never be “well he’s ugly but he’s got dough”, it’s “oh my god it’s a fucking alligator monster shoot it shoot it!”

Plus, that just isn’t how Waylon operates. At all.

It doesn’t matter how he views the legitimacy of his relationship, he’s not treating his hurting partner like this. Ever. For any reason.

After that Baby doll tries to kill them both with a nuclear reactor explosion, Batman and Batgirl stop it. KC tries to kill her as revenge but is stopped but Bruce. Baby Doll cries and mutters that they could have had a happy ending.

So far, the pair has a solid start but a weak finish.

Outside of the episode, I actually think the pair has potential! I think if Waylon’s writing is *better* (by that I mean more faithful to his sympathetic portrayals) then I think they could have a fun dynamic. But I don’t think they’d last, since while they can bring out the other’s good qualities, I think they bring out the other’s negative ones more so. Or at least that’s how I see it.

#my asks #tnba #the new batman adventures #killer croc #waylon jones #baby doll #mary dahl

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gaoxkuma · 3 years ago

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My MCs general headcanons

My Glamrock!MC is just my normal MC except with a career change. So I’m going to explain it. I’ll be using their real name, Eman, instead of MC.

Again, just like my Glamrock!MC concept ramble, this will be embarrassingly messy.

Eman is 100% a big fat KIDULT.

Take them to Toys R Us, Toy Kingdom, Timezone, World Of Fun, a playground, HECK even just the toy room at the airport waiting room and he’d start vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass.

Eman is really close to Luke because they like children and find it easier to be close them than adults/people their own age

Eman giggling is insane. Like, creepy child insane. A mix of Balloon Boy and the Minireenas giggling

But his laugh though??? Ugly.

But the good kind of ugly!! Here’s dialogue:

“*snort* HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA *wheeze* *windshield wiper noises* *desk pounding* AHAHAHAHHAHAHA”

Anyways let’s talk about Eman crying.

Also ugly.

It’s so intense too. Like, fat wet tears falling, eyebrows furrowed so hard, SNOT running down their face and mouth, saliva drooling out of their lips

They rub their face so hard too. Asmo’s heart stops whenever he sees Eman rub his nose so roughly with his forearm

thatsbadforyourskinEman

Also breathes in and out so rapidly. Can’t even say a coherent sentence.

Example: “I- *gasp* didn’t- *gasp* I didn’t mean- *gasp* to-oo- *gasp*”

He’s definitely that kid who brought those 120 crayon packs. No, he still IS. He brings them to RAD and the other demons look at him weird

Eman: “You’re just jealous that you don’t have this many crayons >:(”

Eman doesn’t comb their hair. It gets flat when they comb it and it doesn’t look good. The first time Asmo attempted (keyword: ATTEMPTED) to comb their hair the comb got STUCK IN IT. Probably stuck there for a few days

This is so random but I bet if you threw a crumpled ball of paper or a paper airplane at Eman during class he’d just grab it, uncrumple/unfold it and go “*gasp* extra paper!” and take down notes on it.

Eman 🤝 Diavolo = Crocs wearers I’m not sorry

I have a feeling this should’ve been at the beginning but Eman is agender, uses he/they pronouns, and is bisexual

Also Eman is 25 but looks really young. Babyface

Nah cuz Eman’s favorite class is P.E/Gym. He loves those foam mats and just likes to tumble around. He can do a handstand, but will fall over after a few seconds if he’s too excited.

K let’s talk about 💫fashion💫

KIDCORE ALL THE WAY

Y2K/90s kidcore y’feel me

Eman wears platform shoes because he wants to be tall. He’s like 5’1” without them on

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON LEG WARMERS

Thigh highs? Thigh highs.

Wears mismatched socks. Maybe even mismatched SHOES.

Eman likes to wear more feminine clothing. They probably switch from wearing a RAD skirt to pants on random days.

Okay since RAD uniforms are semi-customizable Eman probably wears a wallet chain or a choker. Whenever they’re wearing a skirt they’d wear leg warmers and/or thigh highs. I don’t think shoes are customizable, but I do think there is an option for heeled dress shoes and I bet Eman would choose them.

Honestly the only fit I see Eman wearing most of the time is a white short double-sleeved hoodie. The hoodie and the top layer of the sleeves are white while the bottom layer of the sleeves are checkered purple. And it’s oversized too.

Emans pajamas. Those button down pajamas that are UNBELIEVABLY SOFT. Probably wears a sleeping cap too. Mfs ready for a slumbie

Ok closing the topic about clothes now

Let me talk about the way Eman talks.

His native language is Tagalog. His English isn’t so good. But only because he doesn’t understand big words. He’s spoken to children for a long time so he's used the most basic of basic terms so they can understand. Probably uses some smarter terms so he can sound smart.

Eman doesn’t say curse words. It’s a habit after taking care of children for so long.

Totally different topic switch, but he isn’t strong.

At all.

Most they can do is carry one child or two. But that’s probably it.

Probably doesn’t even go to the gym. They just stay as fit as they are right now because of how energetic they are.

There was a lesson where Beelzebub finds a stash of sweets in a box in Emans room. And I’m very thankful for that fact because me and Eman both have sweet tooths (teeth?)

Their favorite candy is pop rocks, and his favorite dessert is cotton candy ice cream.

It’s canon that MC is reckless, so if Eman is in some random dangerous place they’d only see the good in it. Creepy painting? Hahaha, look at it’s face! Flickering lamp? Nosferatu hahaha!

It’s even WORSE if the dangerous place they’re in has something to do with children. No taking Eman to haunted playgrounds. They WILL start monkeying around

I remember seeing a chat where Mammon and Levi are afraid because Asmo brought home a creepy doll. So I can see Eman running up to some haunted doll in a case trying to get it while Mammon and Levi are holding Eman back.

Even though Eman is kinda (read: SUPER) reckless, he still has some sense of responsibility. If he knows some place is dangerous, he will keep himself AND everyone else away from there as much as he can, even if he doesn’t know some people.

Being a child caregiver, he knows how to break up fights. It may not be as easy as breaking up a squabble with some children, but when has Eman ever been a quitter?

He’s also very good at patching up wounds. And he’s really gentle about it.

Rewards good behavior. “Mammon stopped gambling for a week? Here, a sticker for my good boy!” “Huh? Beel didn’t clear out the fridge today? And yesterday too?? Homemade cupcakes for Beel and Beel only! :D”

WILL give you words of encouragement. Even PET NAMES.

Probably a GOD at comforting. Patting your head, rubbing your back, the pet names and words of encouragement from the last bullet point, you name it.

Though, Eman is too emotional. And his mood is contagious. When he laughs you wanna laugh, when he cries you wanna cry with him.

Whenever they need to be serious, they always end up cracking a few jokes or laughing about something. Sometimes they do it at the wrong time, but they never have impure intentions. They just wanna lighten the mood a bit.

All in all, shaped like a friend.

No because this took me 3 days </3 Hope you liked them !!

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gellavonhamster · 3 years ago

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ghost stories

Suicide Squad (2016) || characters: El Diablo feat. everyone else || post-canon, sort of a fix-it

ao3 link eng || this was first written and published on ao3 in Russian in 2016 but I didn't attempt to translate it into English back then.

Harley is the first to see him.

She catches the smell first. Something appears to be burning, and she checks cautiously if there is something wrong with the coffee machine. She doesn’t find anything suspicious – not that the appliances about to flame up smell like that anyway. Could it be that there’s a fire starting? That would be funny, but seems like there’s hardly a chance. It is the smell of a bonfire at the beach, of the fallen leaves being burned in the yards in fall, of a melting candle in the church; weirdly, all this at the same time. A smell that seems too pure for Belle Reve, for Gotham, for everything that makes up her life these days.

Harley looks around once again – and springs to her feet like she’s been stung.

Chato Santana is standing next to her cage.

“Diablo?” she whispers, unable to believe her eyes. She would’ve thought she’s lost her marbles if there were any left to lose.

“Harley,” says Diablo, and it’s his voice, his shy, sad smile, his eyes and his tattoos, and Harley squeals in delight as she rushes to him. The bars of the cage are live, so she only dares to stick out the tips of her fingers. He touches them with his hand – certainly alive, certainly not a product of her mind being tortured by boredom and monotony – and she laughs.

“You’re alive, alive, alive! How did you survive? And how did they let you in?”

“It’s a long story. And I don’t think I have much time,” Diablo looks guilty. He’s still holding her hand and looking at her so earnestly it’s almost worrying. “Harley… don’t go with him.”

“Huh? What do you mean, honey?”

“He’s coming here. Don’t leave with him, Harley, stay. It sounds strange, but this would really be for the best.”

“Don’t leave with whom?” she can’t follow him. He gives her a melancholic look – and suddenly disappears. Without any smoke or flames or any other special effects. She can’t wrap her head around how it happened – it’s just that he was here a moment ago, and now there’s no one beside her, and she’s reaching out towards nothing.

“Diablo?” she calls, and when she gets no answer, she decides to get things straight by asking the guards. What kind of cruel joke is this? Only one person is allowed to joke here, and that person is her. “Hello there! Mister jailer, yoo-hoo! Where’s my friend?”

No one is in a hurry to respond. Finally, one of the armed-to-the-teeth guards approaches the cage.

“Why are you yelling, lady?”

“Where’s my friend?” Harley asks petulantly. “He was here just now, and we didn’t finish talking. Where did you take him?”

“There was no one here.”

“What do you mean ‘no one’? I just talked to him!”

The guard examines her from head to foot. Looks like he’s chewing gum, which, combined with his empty apathetic stare, makes him look like a cow.

“Definitely crazy,” he sums up, and leaves. Irritated, Harley forgets to take caution, hits the bars and falls down on the floor right away, writhing in pain.

“Well, well, well,” she whispers, playing the recent events over in her head. Chato was very much corporeal – not a ghost, then. Yet the guards didn’t notice him, and then he vanished into thin air. Harley thinks about the being Chato transformed into by the end of the battle – an ancient one, as if straight from the walls of some Aztec temple. Could some petty bomb kill such a being? Could the Enchantress’s brother have survived too?

“I am friends with a god,” she informs the ceiling. “Incredible.”

About an hour later, her Puddin’ comes for her, and she forgets the advice Diablo gave her.

Croc sees him on the night of the same day. He knows for sure that it is night thanks to the TV listings – the only reference point for time and days of the week that he has. Not that it was bothering him too much, truth be told. Monday or Sunday, every day in Belle Reve is a carbon copy of the day before. However, Croc doesn’t complain. He has a roof over his head, water, food – even better food than he used to have in the sewers in days gone by – and a TV, and it is honestly not too hard to do without such extras as companionship and fresh experiences. Still, he is glad to see Diablo. Even though first he lunges at him with his fangs bared, because he doesn’t immediately recognize him and supposes that Waller and company are sick of feeding him and decided to kill him. Or to put someone else in his quarters, which would have been no less audacious.

“Croc, it’s me,” Diablo hastens to say, and lights up a flame over his left palm – so unusual and out of place in the dampness of Croc’s cell. Croc freezes and watches the flame for some seconds. That must really be Diablo; there are hardly many people in the world capable of such tricks.

“Hey, man,” Croc says. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Just checking up on you.”

Well, that must definitely be Diablo. Croc knows that there are hardly many people in the world who’d care to check up on him, but that sounds like something El Diablo would do. Back then, during the mission, he was friendly, asked “You okay?” after each skirmish, and could clap him on the shoulder without shuddering. And there are definitely even less people in the world that would touch him willingly.

“Did they just let you in like that?” wonders Croc. Diablo gives him a slight smile.

“They don’t know I’m here.”

“So you’re, like, a ghost?” Croc asks. It occurred to him from the very beginning, but it sounds particularly joyless when said out loud.

Diablo gestures vaguely. “I’m still figuring it out myself, to be honest.”

“Hmm,” Croc glances over his cell. A bag of food on the cot catches his eye. “You want a burger?”

“Nah, I’m good. Save it for yourself.”

“They’ll bring more today, I’m telling ya.”

“Then I want one.”

“Then you’re not a ghost,” grins Croc, and the fact that Diablo doesn’t flinch or try to look away also proves that this is the real Chato Santana, because most people don’t like seeing Croc smile.

And so he and Diablo, who kind of is a ghost but kind of isn’t, sit there eating burgers and watching some crap on MTV. Life has taught Croc not to be surprised by anything, so everything’s fine.

“So what happened after the bomb went off?” Croc asks. Diablo opens his mouth, and then closes it again, apparently at a loss how to explain.

“I was smoke,” he speaks finally. “Then I was flames. Then I became myself again.”

“I see,” Croc replies, although, of course, he can’t see shit.

“Who are you talking to?” comes the guard’s voice from behind the door. “Hey, scum!”

Croc puts the burger aside.

“Wait a bit,” he tells Chato, gets up, and heads for the door.

When he comes to the bean hole, the guard already looks like he regrets calling him.

“No one,” Crock smiles as widely as only he can, and the guard, who isn’t among the people able to watch him smile without blinking an eye, steps back reflexively. “But come inside, and I’ll talk to you if you wanna. How about that?”

When he turns around, Chato has already disappeared, and Croc could have assumed he has dreamed it all, but there are two half-eaten burgers on the cot, not one.

Digger sees him next, and he isn’t even amazed. The bastards keep drugging him with all sorts of shit to calm him down. Usually after the shot he just lies there, feverish, and can’t even move, let alone stand up, but who knows, perhaps they’re testing some new poison on him. Or they’ve started using something stronger because they noticed that a couple of hours after the usual stuff he’s already able to yell, bang at the door, and do everything he can to get the best of them while cooped up inside. Or it’s simply that there’s already so much of this shit in his blood that it’s impossible not to have any screws loose, try as he might to keep them in place. In any case, he’s not exactly shocked when, as he tosses and turns on the floor after another injection, he turns his head and sees El Diablo, large as life and twice as ugly.

“Fuck me sideways,” Digger says. He doesn’t have any energy to be mad yet. “I must be tripping.”

“You’re not tripping,” Diablo objects.

“You died. So I must be.”

“I didn’t die either.”

Diablo sits down cross-legged on the floor next to him.

“Has it crossed your mind that if you stop getting on their nerves, they might start treating you better?” he asks.

“Go to hell.”

“Message received.”

There’s a footfall outside; a whole bunch of people must be running somewhere.

“They’ve turned the entire joint upside down,” says Digger, because it’s been ages since he has spoken to anyone who’d at least pretend to listen, so a hallucination will do. “Blondie escaped.”

“I know,” Diablo replies gloomily. “I tried to warn her not to go with the Joker, but she didn’t listen to me.”

“Why warn her?” Digger asks. Harley Quinn is no bosom friend of his, but she kind of tore out the heart of the witch who kind of tried to end the world, and anyway, teammates probably should take interest in each other’s lives. Probably. He’s never really made sense of that teamwork stuff. “What’s he gonna do to her?”

“At best, what he always does.”

Two tiny figures of fire appear on Diablo’s open palm – a man and a woman. The man backhands the woman across her face, and she falls down. Digger watches the dancing flames with fascination, and meanwhile in his head, bit by bit, stroke by stroke, a plan starts to take shape. He wouldn’t be Captain motherfucking Boomerang if he fails to use any opportunity that turns up – even a ghost of one.

“Listen, mate,” he begins cajolingly. “If you’re really here and it’s not just me tripping… help an old friend out, won’t you? I’m fed up with being stuck here, you know.”

“I’m not gonna help you escape,” Diablo says calmly. “How do you imagine that would even happen?”

“Can’t you just burn the entire Belle Reve to the bloody ground?”

Diablo smiles.

“I can,” he admits. “But I won’t.”

The next thing he knows, the son of a bitch is gone without a trace. Anger and offence must be giving Digger strength, because he manages to leap to his feet. Like a lunatic, he thrashes around the cell, looking for at least some kind of proof that someone else was here a moment ago.

“Oi!” he shouts, knowing damn well that the guards have long stopped listening to what he has to say. “Grab the devil! A convict escaped! Hey, wankers!”

But he’s feeling lightheaded, and this shit must be really strong, and he collapses, badly hitting his head.

Tatsu sees him next – late at night, in her apartment. She’s a light sleeper, and wakes up as soon as she hears footsteps. The sword is close at hand, and she grabs it instantly, blade swishing through the air.

“Who’s there?” Tatsu asks, and then repeats in English. “Who’s there?”

There is nowhere to hide in her bedroom. The only furniture is the mattress and the pair of chairs she uses to hang her clothes on. Everything is on the floor or on the windowsill – weapons, her laptop, the book she tried to read before going to sleep but could not concentrate on. It is an ascetic, comfortless dwelling that does not look permanent and is not supposed to become so. Fate and Amanda Waller, though, seem to have other plans in this respect.

There is nowhere to hide in her bedroom – but someone’s definitely walking in the antechamber; she flings the door open – and sees El Diablo, standing by the entrance and looking around. In a blink of an eye Tatsu is next to him, and the blade of the Soultaker is pressed to his neck.

“Katana, it’s me,” Diablo says, unfazed. “Chato Santana.”

“Chato Santana is dead,” she says through her teeth. Chato Santana was a gangster who killed, albeit by a tragic accident, his own family – but she fought side by side with him, he sacrificed himself to save the world, he called their squad his family and died for them. That is enough for her not to let anyone use his name as a cover. “Who are you?”

“I’m alive,” Diablo replies. He puts his hands up to show he’s unarmed, and forks of flame appear on his palms. “Or sort of.”

Sort of.

Tatsu lowers the sword and looks warily at the man standing in front of her.

“How did you…”

“You’re gonna have a new mission soon. Demand that Waller tells you everything.”

“About what?”

“I couldn’t overhear that,” he says with regret. “But…”

Something knocks on the window. Tatsu turns around quickly, but that must’ve been just a tree branch hitting the windowpane. When she turns back to Chato, he’s already gone, and her apartment is silent.

It’s just four in the morning, but she can’t make herself fall asleep again. Having poured a cup of tea, Tatsu sits down on the mattress and thinks, think, thinks about what just happened. Tatsu believes in ghosts – her sword is teeming with them, so she wouldn’t say that her worldview is shaken. Still, this is strange, very strange. What did he want to tell her? Why did he disappear so abruptly? Like… a broadcast was interrupted.

Colonel Flag calls her at daybreak and tells her that there’s a shoot-out between two gangs on the outskirts of Gotham, with metahumans on both sides. When Tatsu arrives at Belle Reve, it turns out they must have considered it to be not enough to ruin her Saturday morning, because she is asked – more like ordered, actually – to escort an inmate from his cell, an inmate who attacks anyone who tries to enter and has already injured three guards with his bare hands, and it’s not reasonable to sedate him before the mission, and “he’s likely to obey if it’s you, Katana” – the last is Rick’s argument, and if he told that to her face and not on the phone, she would have had to strain every nerve not to hit him with something.

No one tries to attack her when she enters the cell of Captain Boomerang – Harkness is sitting on the floor quite still, his arms around his knees, and when he notices her, he even smiles with bruised lips.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he says. “Am I hallucinating you too?”

“No,” the question is unexpected and confuses her. “Why?”

“Well, they keep injecting me some crap, and lately I’ve been seeing things,” Harkness explains peacefully, even eagerly. His voice is quiet and hoarse, which, combined with his Australian accent, leads to Tatsu being barely able to make out half of what he’s saying. To hear him better, she crouches down next to him, still gripping the sword hilt – there is no telling if he isn’t just making her come closer to take her down and bolt. “Saw the devil yesterday.”

“The devil?”

“Our devil. Día… de fucking Muertos. Chato Santana.”

Tatsu gives a shiver and, having lost her balance, half sits down, half falls on the dirty floor.

She isn’t the only one to have seen him. She isn’t the only one he wanted to send a message to.

“Hey, luv,” Harkness frowns and reaches out to touch her knee lightly. “You all right?”

“Same as you, more or less,” she wants to reply, which of course would mean she isn’t, not at all.

“What did he tell you?” she asks him instead.

When Floyd sees him, he is hardly surprised, since the others have already warned him. Boomerang, Croc, and Katana tell him everything while they’re waiting for the helo, and had it been just Boomerang, who believes inexplicably that he has a sense of humour although he certainly doesn’t, Floyd most likely wouldn’t have believed his ghost stories, but it is even harder to believe that Croc, let alone Katana would agree to take part in such pranks. Which is why he listens to them closely and takes note: okay, then he doesn’t have to worry about his mental heath if the late Santana suddenly appears out of nowhere to give some advice or share some news or simply ask how he’s doing. So the four of them keep whispering to one another like kids at the back of the class until their transport arrives – just the four of them, which is a pity. If there is anyone on the team that he had missed a little, it’s Harley. Floyd knows some things about the Joker, for it isn’t possible, as they write in the papers, to belong to the criminal world of Gotham and not know anything about the Joker. Floyd knows what Flag had spilled to him when visiting him in his cell or escorting him there after a visit to Zoe. Floyd thinks that in his entire lifetime he hasn’t understood a thing about love – is it even possible to understand it, on the other hand? – but he feels like the mad and brilliant Harley, Harley the whimsical, Harley the loving deserves better.

“What’s with the gossiping?” Flag inquires suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Croc and Digger answer in unison, in unison, and Floyd facepalms because seriously, are they in some cheesy movie or what? They don’t tell Flag anything yet, but Floyd is almost sure that sooner or later Santana will visit him as well, because Flag is one of them too, after all. Not that he’s even trying to deny it; no one’s making him drop by Floyd’s cell every other day to chat about some nonsense through the steel door.

So Floyd is hardly surprised when, as he makes his way behind the dumpsters loading one gun after another, he notices a familiar, head-to-toe-tattooed figure standing nearby.

“There are snipers on the roof over there and around the corner of the shop,” Chato says instead of greeting. Floyd nods.

“I noticed.”

“Eight men in the drugstore on the other side of the street. Each with a machine gun.”

“How do you know?”

“I’ve just been there.”

“Got it,” there’s no time for lengthy conversations. No time to say: glad you’re alive, man. No time to ascertain: are you alive, though? So he thinks over the plan of action, making a mental note to ask all these questions later, when there are no bullets whistling past their ears.

People like them deserve no guardian angels, frankly speaking, but they may have managed to earn one for all of them.

#suicide squad #el diablo #harley quinn #killer croc #captain boomerang #katana #deadshot #rick flag #dc #talk talk talk #my fic #gella talks skwad #this might have been the most challenging to translate so far #i'm so used to bookish slightly outdated speech and most of my fandoms allow that #and then bam modernity. ugh #also i know nothing about the geography of the dceu!united states. sorry about that.

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fierykitten2 · 4 months ago

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Disclaimer: the images in this post are arranged in a way so that the Scarlet images are all on the left and the Violet images are all on the right. Obviously I only took on the Academy Ace Tournament in one version at a time

Took on the Academy Ace Tournament in both versions and here were my opponents in the order battled (apart from the fact the Scarlet images are all on the left and the Violet images are all on the right). I’ve learned two things from this - 1 is that Miriam can be the first opponent (like in Scarlet) or the 3rd opponent (like in Violet). She has the same lines in both positions. The second is that Nemona can actually be battled in this tournament (genuinely she’s never appeared to me in this in Violet and I haven’t had the chance for her to appear in this in Scarlet up until now). Also her Pokémon don’t have an order they’re sent out apart from her starter being her final Pokémon and probably her leading with Lycanroc (I remember Orthworm being her penultimate Pokémon in Scarlet because Luna was struggling and nearly cried so I swapped it out for Blueberry only to bring Luna back against her ugly croc (I had every wish to send out Quax or keep Blueberry out instead but I had plans involving Terastalising every single one of my aces and I’d already used Quax against Tyme and Blueberry against Penny. I also kinda wanted Clavell to be my last opponent in Violet so I could beat the shit out of that ugly croc twice in one day but I got Nemona with her fabulous gay duck instead) but she sent Orthworm out really early on against me in Violet. Also Dudunsparce I think was her 2nd Pokémon in Scarlet but her penultimate Pokémon in Violet). Oh yeah the third thing I learnt (or possibly fourth) is that Dark-types can cry. Both Luna and Spriggie nearly cried at some point (I returned Luna to its ball and took out Blueberry to deal with Orthworm and also use a full heal on Luna while Spriggie has a Shell Bell on him so he just gradually healed up as the battle continued and he kept taking out Raifort’s Pokémon)

My aces Terastalising for no reason other than it’s pretty. It’s hard to tell what’s going on in half these images so in order Fire Tera type Char (Armarouge), Fire Tera type Char (Ceruledge), Water Tera type Quax (Quaquaval), Grass Tera type Spriggie (Meowscarada), Water Tera type Blueberry (Walking Wake), Psychic Tera type Cherry (Iron Leaves), Dragon Tera type Luna (Roaring Moon) and Fighting Tera type Knight (Iron Valiant). Roaring Moon are honestly kinda ugly but somehow Luna got out-uglied by Nemona’s Skeledirge (okay that’s enough Skeledirge slander for one post)

Blueberry and Cherry making entrances in the third battles, the ones where they were the ones Terastalising

And of course my aces shouting after defeating their final opponents

As you can see, Liko’s Sprigatito and Dot’s Quaxly in both games have evolved into Liko’s Floragato and Dot’s Quaxwell. As much as I prefer their fully-evolved forms I want to wait a bit and use their middle stages so I haven’t allowed them to fully-evolve just yet

Still, because I chose Quax/Quaxly/Quaquaval in Scarlet and Spriggie/Sprigatito/Meowscarada in Violet I now have the Pokédex entries for Floragato in Scarlet and Quaxwell in Violet

#miriam pokemon #saguaro pokemon #tyme pokemon #raifort pokemon #penny pokemon #rival nemona #armarouge #ceruledge #quaquaval #meowscarada #walking wake #iron leaves #roaring moon #iron valiant #floragato #quaxwell #pokémon scarlet #pokémon violet #pokémon #I think I do prefer their middle stages to their unevolved stages to be fair #like the Sprigatito and Quaxly lines just start great and get better in every stage #in comparison to the Fuecoco line which starts off meh and gets worse every stage #*gets bonked on the head because I already said “that’s enough Skeledirge slander for one post” and yet I continued to slander it*#oh yeah that’s sorta why I haven’t bothered waiting for the Roy’s Fuecoco distribution to begin before evolving these guys #I do also wanna point out there’s probably a good reason Luna is my only ace that doesn’t have the Partner Mark #it just tends to get forgotten because I’m always focusing on everyone else #anyway now that it’s got the Paldean Champion ribbon or whatever it’s called it’s got that title active instead of the Gourmet

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our-wargame · 4 years ago

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take three steps to your left; take me with me you [2/2]

Read Part 1

summary: Takahiro’s not sure why but he hates it when people get Matsukawa wrong. And they always seem to.

tags: rated t, pining, dialogue heavy now because oi-matsu-hana are three drunkards, maybe a part three from Matsukawa’s take?, dw matsukawa shows up yay, hanamaki/oikawa friendship and iwaizumi is yay

notes: the first chapter was supposed to just be that, just a short take on possible matsuhana relations, but then i decided why not make it a fic yknow. although part 1′s a good standalone!! this one’s much less serious but yeah! if you happen to reblog my work, i will most likely read your tags and then die of joy.

as always, ao3 link

Last chapter:

“Oh we forgot something,” Oikawa says, and this time there’s thoughtfulness sharpening the eyes sweeping over Takahiro. “We forgot about the part where you’re in love with him.”

Takahiro freezes.

Before Takahiro knows it, his arm is out. Is it really his fault though? It’s not like this was a first-degree planned nose-grabbing. One second Oikawa is saying some bull; and the another, Oikawa’s nose is just...in Takahiro’s crab-claw. His heart’s pounding a little faster than usual, but it’s Gucci.

“Makki! That hurts my conker!.” Oikawa squirms into a sitting position and then scoots his ass back, pretty much over Takahiro’s lap to prevent his nose from getting torn off.

“Nice conk bro.”

When Oikawa wrinkles his nose, Takahiro lets go. He keeps wiggling it, exercising it with ugly ogre faces and complaining he can’t smell Takahiro’s teen reek or something like that.

“Hey, I’ve seen you looking at Iwaizumi after practice.” Takahiro shakes his head. “Just because he’s all sweaty-”

“That’s not-!” Oikawa jumps up, yelling. “He’s not-! You can’t just say-”

Takahiro laughs. Three years of friendship have given Oikawa neural damage, a better poker face, and a properly tainted sense of humor, but specially made mentions of Iwaizumi Hajime still sends him into a loud, quacky fluster.

“You know,” he says casually, comfortably stretching, splaying his arms out over the couch. “I’ve caught him staring back at you.” Leaving a soft pause for the atmosphere shift, Takahiro tilts his head to the side with a small, lopsided grin and waits.

Yes, he expects Oikawa to melt. Instead, Oikawa lets out a small sigh and plunks back down beside Takahiro. His gaze shifts from ground to ceiling and back again. A tiny, hard pit plunks into Takahiro’s stomach. Apprehension. He’s about to joke about how he never makes Oikawa wait this long when he’s teasing him, but the noise that comes out is a sad sort of wheeze that he ends up trying to pass off as a cough.

At last, Oikawa pursues his lips. Takahiro’s given him an opening and he’s taking it. “Makki. You’re in love with Mattsukawa-”

Takahiro’s breath hitches.

“And he’s in love with you.” Oikawa skewers him with his gaze, captain to one of his men, like they’re in one last match. “So. How about you save us spectators the time and-”

Never Gonna Give You Up rings shrilly through the air.

Oikawa’s mouth drops open. Takahiro he lunges for his phone. “Matsukawa,” he reads off the screen like they hadn’t both known from the ringtone.

“Huh. Well.” hums Oikawa. “I need to take a piss.” And he flounces off the couch with that.

Takahiro flexes his fingers, nails digging into his palm. They’re too long again, he thinks, drawing a long inhale. He’s not...he’s not nervous about taking a call from his best friend.

Of course he’s nervous. After what Oikawa tried to imply-

He presses the phone against his ear. “Go for Makki.”

“Yes, hello, I would like some chikky nuggies.”

“Sorry, sir.” Takahiro yawns into the receiver. And into Matsukawa’s ear. “We’re all out. Does that make you hangry?”

“Little bit.” Matsukawa’s low voice sounds rougher than normal, like he’s got something caught in his throat or taken a pinch of Iwaizumi’s gruff soul. The line crackles. “What say you make it up to me?”

“Mmm? What’d you have in mind?” In his peripheral, he notices Oikawa stalking over here with a shit-eating grin Takahiro’s more familiar seeing on Matsukawa’s face.

“The usual. Pick you up in four?”

“Yeah.” Takahiro says, partially distracted with batting at Oikawa. He’s not going to give captain the opportunity to say something ridiculous like...stop flirting Makki! For one, they’re not flirting. And for another, Takahiro makes fun of Oikawa; the teasing in their relationship is strictly one way. To Matsukawa, he says “Wait.”

“Mmm?”

“I’m at Oikawa’s. It’s not rude if I tell him we don’t want him hanging out with us if I say it to his face, right?”

Oikawa leans over and gets his hands on Takahiro’s phone. He might be unable to rip it out of Takahiro’s grip,but he can, and does, bring his head down to yowl, “Fine! Enjoy your date without me!”

Oikawa’s going to die soon and it’s a shame Takahiro will be too busy disposing the evidence to attend the funeral.

“Okay make that five minutes. Also. Forgot to mention,” Matsukawa says, smooth as ever. “Iwaizumi’s sleeping over for the night. If you guys want, I guess we could make it a foursome.”

“Dude, don’t be gross.” Takahiro grumbles. “That’s almost as yucky as thinking about how Oikawa spends the entire time oogling Iwaizumi.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Oikawa huffs. “Oikawa-sama likes Iwa-chan, Oikawa-sama likes Iwa-chan without a shirt on! Everyone knows and all they do is bully Oikawa-sama about it!” Oikawa finally pauses to breathe. “Also, Makki says we’ll be there. And he says he wants to be sleeping with you guys tonight.”

“Cool. Gross but cool.”

“Yeah, great.” Takahiro says as flatly as he can muster. “Mattsun, hurry up and rescue me from the crazy man?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Static crackles over the line. Matsukawa’s probably has the phone awkwardly caught between his shoulder and ear, to free his hands. “See you soon, yeah?”

Takahiro opens his mouth. And closes it abruptly.

It’s nothing new, Matsukawa waiting for Takahiro to sign off. Matsukawa knows Takahiro hates feeling burdensome. Matsukawa always lets Takahiro end the call, no matter how silly they start out to be. It’s nothing new, but it’s one of Takahiro’s many preferences that Matsukawa just never forgets. It’s nothing new, but for someone infuriatingly attached to simplicity, Matsukawa sure goes out of his way a lot for Takahiro.

“Makki?”

“Yeah.” Takahiro bites himself in the tongue. “See you soon.”

He jabs the end call button before he can do anything else. When he catches Oikawa’s mouth twisting he asks, “What?”

“Nothing,” Oikawa says, straight faced. And then when he can’t help himself, he wears a dopey grin.“Y’all are just so fucking cute.”

Takahiro rolls his eyes, even as a slow heat creeps up his neck. He gathers his things and gives Oikawa a quick hug before making for the door. Then he delivers a swift kick to the ass when captain makes the mistake of showing his back.

“Makki!”

“See you tonight!” he shouts, dashing out the door and right into his getaway man.

“Ow,” Matsukawa drawls, standing in a casual gray set of t-shirt and pants. He’s flexing his jaw because Takahiro friggen headbutted him. “I know you missed me but tone down the Iwaizumi-affection.”

Takahiro hardly thinks twice before snagging him by the wrist and hightailing them both away from the danger zone. “Stop slowing me down,” he chokes, and Matsukawa laughs. They almost make it.

“Oi!” Takahiro scowls, whirling around. “You asshat, Crocs only!” He snatches up the sneaker from where it’d bounced off his back and flings it at its owner.

“That hurt, Makki!! My ass and my feelings!!”

“Yeah, yeah. Catch you later, captain.”

Matsukawa snickers and Takahiro elbows him in the ribs as they walk down Oikawa’s driveway. “You were absolutely no help, you big lug. Should’ve known...would’ve ditched you immediately.”

“After I kindly offered a ride? Youch.” Matsukawa peers at him. He might only be a few inches taller but it does mean Takahiro has to pass over his lips to get to his gaze.

But since Oikawa’s said what he said...Takahiro looks away. Hovers and talks at the passenger side door. “Wanna give me the keys?”

They both know he hates driving.

Matsukawa snorts. Apparently he’s not even going to dignify the shoddy joke with a response.

The truth is, they both know a lot of things, Takahiro starts to think. He leans against the window, the glass cool to his skin. But maybe Oikawa’s right and he’s missed one.

...you’re in love with Matsukawa...and he’s in love with you.

Just to be practical, to seriously think about what it would be like, Takahiro takes a hot second to hand control over to his imagination. Imagines himself turning his body, tilting his head, looking into dark eyes, a bright grin, pulling Matsukawa in and- Takahiro swallows. So he’s flushing. Okay. This is okay, hahaha...

They reverse out the driveway, Matsukawa shifting gears and into traffic with an ease Takahiro should be jealous of. But Matsukawa moves, does it all like it’s secondhand nature. The quiet confidence he wears is rare, but it’s the same kind Oikawa has, putting the ball in Iwaizumi’s hands without hesitation, without doubt, day after day. Each of them has the other’s confidence; are each part of the other’s confidence in himself.

Takahiro leans back and closes his eyes, lets the hot sun wash over his thighs, soaking through his shirt.

Maybe it’s not smart to compare, but Takahiro thinks he places a similar kind of trust in Matsukawa. Or at least the most trust he can muster.

After all, he is a cynic. He’s the one who tells Oikawa they could never have won nationals anyways, and that the likelihood of going to nationals was made in the same ridiculous mold. He’s not a shonen protagonist. His faith is not in people; it’s in numbers, in facts. And that’s how it’s always going to be.

But. Takahiro thinks, thinks that if that was ever going to be different, maybe it’d be because of Matsukawa.

“Hey.”

Takahiro blinks himself alert. Matsukawa’s turning the car around, sliding into the parking lot. They’re lucky there’s a spot right at the front of the diner, even if it’s a bit of a tight fit between two SUVs. “We’re here, meathead.”

“Meathead?”

“It was that or meatball.”

“How hungry are you.” Takahiro springs his seat belt free and he’s got a hand on the door handle when all of a sudden, Matsukawa drops his phone into Takahiro’s lap.

“I’ll go. Do me a favor and text Iwaizumi back for me?”

Takahiro nearly unhinges his jaw. “Do you realize the amount of power you’re giving me. Do you know how much restraint I am being forced to perform right now.” Oh Holy Mother of Volleyball - he could change all of his contacts to Oikawa’s number.

Matsukawa grins his hey!-i’m-the-boy-next-door grin. The corners of his eye crinkling and all, and shit, he’s cute.

Okay, but he’s always been cute!! This is nothing new either!!!

“I am looking away,” Matsukawa says, hopping out his car. “The usual?”

Takahiro nods. Watches Matsukawa turn, watches his back grow smaller as he walks away.

And he’s in love with you, rings in his ears once more.

Is he? Because. If Matsukawa was. And they both...wanted to give it a try...

His shorts are suddenly shifting. He looks down, wraps his fingers around the phone starting to slide down his thigh and brings it up to examine.

The lockscreen’s an old blurry photo of the seniors previous to practice (but the picture changes often. When Oikawa’s bored or Iwaizumi’s feeling vindictive and finally ready to retaliate, or when Takahiro wants to. Often, like he said.). There isn’t a password because Matsukawa says he has nothing to hide, but mostly because Takahiro refuses to memorize any numbers he’s not going to use on a test and it’s more fun using Matsukawa’s phone than his own for some reason.

He makes a quick pit stop at the Photo Gallery, creating copies of some of the pictures of the guys and annotates extra dicks onto them. Most of them are actually photos he’s taken, he realizes. While he’s wondering if he should go ahead and delete some of the bullshit photos so Matsukawa doesn’t need to when he wants to download a new game and he’s got no space, Takahiro remembers he’s supposed to be replying to Iwaizumi. Contacts...there, Iwaizumi’s the first one.

You: so 8?

Iwaizumi: yeah. Iwaizumi: unless Iwaizumi: you know You: ?

Iwaizumi: you know. Iwaizumi: you and hanamaki take a detour

Iwaizumi: to talk bout your feelings Iwaizumi: you’re going to right

Matsukawa’s left it at that, left Iwaizumi on read.

Takahiro blinks.

Matsukawa wants him to answer Iwaizumi’s text.

Matsukawa’s giving him an easy out.

Takahiro closes his eyes. What. Is. Going. On. What does this even mean!!! He reads the text again and- Iwaizumi had said your. What.

He doesn’t get much time to think about the implications because Matsukawa’s walking up to him, passing him his order. The smell of hot food isn’t anywhere near as attractive as it usually is, so he place it on his lap. It can wait. He’s not sure if it’s appropriate to laugh out his nerves or glare, with Matsukawa slipping into his own seat, calm and collected as ever. From head to toe, in every piece of his posture and each inch of his expression, Matsukawa Issei tells the world just how perfectly at peace he is with it. Takahiro compromises by biting his own tongue, which triggers his swear-reflex.

Matsukawa snickers.

Ohoho, alright. Takahiro dials up his glare to the max. “Got something to say, asshole?”

“Yeah, actually,” Matsukawa’s lips twitch, a sign he’s suppressing a smile. Takahiro tries to do the same until the blocker says, “You’ve been kind of spacey. What’s up?”

“Ah.” Takahiro ducks his head. “Not much.” Just realizing I’d like to kiss you. Whaboutyou? ”Oikawa just. Said a thing.”

“Mm?”

Matsukawa’s not expecting a reply, he’s just offering Takahiro the opportunity to, should he want it. Affection, warm and rich, blooms in the spiker’s chest. His shoulders sink, falling lax. If he smiles, a little, sue him. “Pretty insightful thing too. Unusually helpful for a change.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It turns out, before you talk about your feelings,” Takahiro says, looking right at Matsukawa while his ears burst into flames. “You have to be aware of them.”

“Holy shit.” Matsukawa blinks. And then he slaps a hand over his eyes and starts laughing, his shoulders actually shaking. Takahiro should kick hit him or run for the hills, right, except Matsukawa is talking to himself. “Wow. Iwaizumi was...right. I mean. And I thought-”

“Issei.”

“I’ve.” He finally meets Takahiro’s eyes. “Had the biggest crush on you. Since end of first year. And you never knew?”

His expression must have answer because the silly guy starts laughing again and Takahiro honest to the gods, feels giddy enough to join in. “Were you going to tell me?”

A gentle shrug. “Don’t know. Wanted to though.”

Takahiro hums. Neither of them have said the real words though and maybe they should do the thing the conventional way? “So.” he begins. “What would you say if we called today a date?”

“Ask you when the next one would be?” Matsukawa puts a hand on the back of his head, an act which Takahiro recognizes as nervous. “Or ask, ‘wait, so you do like me, right?’“

He’s so silly, Takahiro marvels. So silly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

(Epilogue)

Five minutes past eight, Takahiro enters Oikawa’s house. With his boyfriend.

Boyfriend boyfriend boyfrienddd boyyyfriend boyfriend Matsukawa-boyfriend-Issei.

These thoughts do not belong aloud, it turns out, when Oikawa spots them and immediately yells- nonsense at first, and then something along the same lines. Following up, is a demanding, “So?? Did you kiss yet? Yo! Answer the question! Did y’all kiss??” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and tells him to mind his own business.

“Do you really want to know, captain?” Matsukawa smirks. Takahiro’s fingers find his and they link. Watching Oikawa’s eyes expand to the size of dinner plates is just as satisfying as watching the cogs in his brain turning to try and figure out the answer on his own the rest of the night. In the meantime, they’ve taken their spots on the couch while Iwaizumi fiddles with game settings to accommodate the four of them. It’s game night after all.

(Yeah, Takahiro supposes he owes Oikawa; he’ll give the details captain is dying for later. OR. he muses. Maybe he’ll get Oikawa and Iwaizumi together and then call his dues paid? Matsukawa would be down for either.)

Iwaizumi is as characteristically Iwaizumi as ever. At the snack break, Takahiro sees him giving Matsukawa a shoulder pat, and thinks that’s it. After the two of them get knocked out of the Smash Bros round early he plans on sitting back to watch the defending champion and Mr. Kirby war. Instead, he finds his shoulder being tapped and follows, getting led into the kitchen.

Vice captain hands him a water and leans on the counter. “Congrats.”

“Thanks, Iwaizumi-kun.” he deadpans. “I’m sorry we couldn’t work things out but I’ll cherish the memories.”

“Hey, man, I’ll punch you. No boyfriend around to defend you, y’know.” Iwaizumi taunts.

Takahiro smirks right back at him. He’s not sure if he could be happier if he tried. “So what’s this about?”

Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side. “Oikawa tells me he helped you.”

“Yeah,” Takahiro can allow this. He nods. “Just like you helped Issei.”

“Ha! If only you knew.”

Takahiro raises a brow.

“You know the texts I sent him?” Iwaizumi’s grin is so very wolfish. “He asked me to send them. Fabricated all of them himself. He had me set you guys up.” And then he's calling out “See you later!” due to the fact Takahiro is hightailing out of the room.

Oikawa is absolutely beating the shit out of Metaknight, although Matsukawa’s still winning the trash-talking contest. But as Takahiro enters the room, he trails off, eyes leaving the screen for Takahiro’s. Taking his opportunity, Oikawa finally pushes Metaknight off the platform and whoops to kingdom come. It doesn’t really matter though, Takahiro has walked over, leaning down.

Matsukawa meets him midway. The kiss is soft and sweet but it still messes him up. In the best way ever.

Oikawa’s squeaks go ignored.

“You’re adorable.” Takahiro shakes his head as he sinks into the spot besides the blocker on the couch. He puts his head on Matsukawa’s shoulder and breathes in cotton and cool.

“Iwaizumi sold me out, huh?”

Another kiss stolen. “Dibs on him as my best man.”

Matsukawa snickers while Oikawa protests, “The hell? What about me? Makki, I had your back! I made the play of the year! I’m literally game MVP.”

Iwaizumi appears, nudging Oikawa to scoot over until they both have enough space. “I heard my name?” He gets himself two fistbumps.

Oikawa scowls.

#matsuhana #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #my writing #yay an ending

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beatcroc · 5 years ago

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crocodile emoji rated

i wanted to do one of these posts too because i always think they’re fun.

surprisingly detailed, but pulls it off. weird texture and could use some spines, but overall a good weight to this boy. a fat, healthy croc who still has some personality with a nice smile. 9.5/10

silly cartoony lad. not the cleanest emoji out there, but it doesn’t do anything actively wrong either. 8/10

people give microsoft a lot of shit for their outlines, but i’ve always found them endearing. this one is undeniably a little strange, but i appreciate the creativity of the pose in translating a croc to this style. 5/10

discount version of the apple one. the perspective on this one is a little borked and crocs are Not rubbery smooth and shiny like that. inexplicable plating on the nose too. 7.5/10 because he is still very charming and i like his smile; this is a harmless lad who wishes you a good day.

2/10. this is a gecko, but i can’t give it a negative rating because geckos are still great even if the coloring here is pretty fugly.

by far the worst of them structurally, but he has a unique personality that i cannot put to shame. collected, confident lad, takes great pride in the fact of being a crocodile [as one should]. ready to listen to your problems and offer sound encouragement. 6/10

this one is hilariously realistic; not much personality here but it IS a very good rendering of a crocodile. 10\10 for dedication and very lovely pronounced spines on the tail

i greatly appreciate the pronounced lower jaw shape here, but the rest is... kind of mess. bad gradients, lateral lines give it a weird texture and fade+transition to spines poorly, the whole Junction of the head/forelimb area is fucked. 1.5/10

0\10 there is nothing interesting or distinctive about this whatsoever.

jesus christ. this is the google one if it had all its weak points multiplied x5 and was also malevolent. stiff, bad colors, really careless linework/detailing. -3/10

looks like an amphibian that should be extinct. why is he so flat? samsung may have looked rubbery, but this dude looks PLASTIC. soulless face, poorly-executed back spines, and just generally unpleasant to look at, 0.5\10

EUGH. indistinct, ugly, and just generally unwell-looking. i don’t know what this babysmooth animal is, but it is not a croc, and it is not in good health. -10/10

another zero by all rights, but i’ll bump it up to a 1/10 for looking like a hieroglyph really particularly nasty shade of green here though.

low-budget 3d animated children’s show version of a croc. an interesting take, but ultimately not a very good one. 1.5/10 looks like a Generic Lizard

#emoji rating #emoji review #bweeeaaahh

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blondsauduun-reads · 4 years ago

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Really Something

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Flu? I think some light swearing?

Plot: Request from @riverdalefan2019 - The guys all went to college and Luke meets his roommate Julie instant attraction but neither want to mess up there room situation but one week it changes and Luke gets sick with the flu and Julie takes care of him, and while bed ridden truths are admitted about falling for each other and they get together please.

A/N: This was my first request ever so. Be nice. Also I hope I did well and did more or less what you had in mind!!!

Ah, first day of college. You can smell the nervousness and the panic of the freshmen, the exasperation and exhaustion of the sophomores and juniors, and the will to finally pass this year of the seniors.

Wasn’t like that for Julie Molina though. She was excited, full of life, willing to ace every single test and assignment.

She was strolling through campus, looking at the buildings, the people, listening to music. Looking everywhere but ahead and listening to nothing except Harry Styles on her earbuds.

“Hey! Watch out!” A brunet guy raised his voice, bringing her back to the real world, where she’d just thrown this guy’s stuff on the ground.

“Shi- I’m so sorry, wait, let me help,” she immediately dropped to the floor and helped the guy pick up his stuff, which was all cables and CDs.

“I’m Julie. Hi.” Once everything was back in the box, she tried to introduce herself.

“Luke, a pleasure.” He smiled.

A brief moment of epiphany where he realized Julie was absolutely stunning, and she realized Luke was breathtakingly cute.

“Luke!” Some other masculine voice broke him out of his trance. “C’mon, we have to get the room, now!” The guy, presumably Luke’s future roommate, had blond and very shiny hair, and was accompanied by a punk-looking black-haired guy too.

“See you around!” She said, also turning to where her dorm room was

Julie walked into the building, looking for room 195.

Entering the building, finding the correct floor, the right wing and making all the right turns in the hallways.

It was a lovely room, had two beds, two desks, two dressers, and a questionable rug on the floor.

“They really got you two a double room? And what about me, man?” Luke said from outside, kind of jumping around. “Who gon’ be my roomie?”

“Dude, calm down.” The blond guy from earlier said, grabbing his shoulders, so he stopped jumping around. “Me and Reg two doors down that way. Chill.”

“Yeah!” Reggie said, “And maybe, you even get that cute girl you were talking to earlier, huh?” he added, wiggling his brows.

“You mean me?” Julie said, popping her head out the door to the hall.

“Yeah!” He said. “I’m Reggie, this is Alex, and this,” Reggie shoved Luke inside the room. “Is your roomie.” He waved bye and dragged the blond along back to their dorm.

“Luke, right?” Julie asked, not that she’d ever forget his name, though.

“Yep, and you're Julie” He smiled, she smiled, they set ground rules, like not bringing boyfriends or girlfriends over and like not going through each others’ stuff, and they got to decorating and unpacking.

“Damn, the theater majors really are blasting Hamilton across the hall, geez.” Julie said, coming into the room she and Luke had been sharing for five weeks, with a plastic bag with their dinner in it inside.

“Oh I know.” Luke spun around with his desk chair and stood up to greet Julie and help her set the table -which they bought one week after moving in, at a thrift shop for like, five bucks- “It’s been like that since you left.” He rolled his eyes, making her laugh. It was nice to know that he could make her laugh.

“I hate this rug, it’s like, stepping on sandpaper.” She mentioned the almost brown rug under their feet, which hadn’t been clean since the university bought it. That made him snicker and nod. “We should clean it.”

Christmas break was finally here. The roommates of dorm nº195 and dorm nº190 -Alex and Reg- were pretty tight knit by then, and all of them were staying at campus for the holiday, because Julie couldn’t afford going to Puerto Rico on Christmas, and the boys didn’t really like family time anyway, so they stayed with Julie.

For Christmas they had lunch at Julie and Luke’s dorm, because surprisingly it was the least messy of the two rooms, and because somehow, their kitchenette had a stove, which wasn’t actually allowed, but, whatever, it’s just soup. So, their Christmas lunch was soup and a rotisserie chicken.

Gifts were exchanged! Alex got some new fancy socks, a snapback with a goat and some new drumsticks because Reggie accidentally broke them two weeks ago, Reggie got some fierce new boots, an ugly christmas sweater which he actually loved and a goldfish from Petco, Luke got a collection of new notebooks -because he seemed to burn through an entire one in less than a month-, yet another flannel shirt, and some fuzzy socks -from Julie, because he always stole hers, despite the rule that said to not go through each others’ stuff, and always ended up stretching them out so that they didn’t fit her anymore-, and Julie received a denim jacket -which she had deemed her favorite since that day-, a couple of potted plants, and a big hoodie -which wasn’t actually big, it was Luke’s size, which apparently she loved, because she had stolen every single one of his hoodies without asking (he was out and the dorm didn’t have any heating, ok?), and always seemed to put them back in their place, until the day Luke saw her wearing one, almost fainted because of how cute she looked, and suddenly it made sense why his hoodies always smelt like her (not that he ever mentioned that, though)-. So yeah, they had a nice Christmas.

Today was December 27th and the two of them were cleaning the rug (outside and on the pavement, which had been lined with a piece of plastic), because today was the sunniest day they’d had all the month.)

“Hey!” Julie laughed when Luke splashed some of the water-soap solution on her.

“What?” He acted as if he was doing a completely normal, mature thing. “Looks like you need a thorough scrubbing too, Julie.” Oh boy.

“Uh? Excuse you sir, at least I wear sleeves.” She soaked up good her sponge in the soapy water, “Because, if you had actual tees, I wouldn’t be able-” No sleeves, and as usual, the arm hole on his shirt was so big it reached his lower ribs. “- to do this!” Shaboom. She threw the sponge into the sleeve hole, directly into his shirt.

“You just started a war, Molina!” He fished the wet sponge out of his clothes and threw it at her face.

Julie soaked the sponge up again and threw it at his face, somehow he lost balance and fell onto the semi-dirty wet rug.

“A war that you have lost, Patterson.” She said, hovering over him, claiming her victory.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He pulled on the arm that was supporting her over him, so now she lost balance, fell on the wet rug too, and somehow threw the whole bucket of water on them.

“Well, it’s soap and water, so we’re not technically dirty, right?” He chuckled.

“You’re really something Luke. Really something.” Well. In that particular moment, he was a wet music major with a tummy full of christmas food. But Julie meant that he was really something, to her.

But unfortunately, and in that case, really something also meant he was really prone to catching nasty colds.

“Luke, your fever is getting real high, real fast.” Julie said, looking at the thermometer which clearly indicated 104ºF and 40ºC.

“If I’d have known that all it takes is a fever for you to call me hot, I would’ve gotten sick earlier.” He answered, from under his blanket.

“Shit, he’s even worse than usual.” Alex said through Julie’s phone, which was on speaker and on the table.

“We’ll come by after class, bring him some antipyretics or something. Good luck!” He said, before hanging up.

“That’s it.” She said. “I’m going to the store.” She couldn’t stand Luke looking so sick and weak, she missed the healthy and boyish Luke. She was going to get soup ingredients at the store.

“Luke, you’ll-” She turned around to tell him he should rest, but found him sleeping already. “Rest, and get better.” She kissed his forehead, still feeling him burning up, and went on her way. Luke smiled in his sleep.

“Hey, Luke.” She shook his shoulder gently to wake him up. “You’ve slept the whole afternoon, I made dinner.”

Luke woke up, kinda. He could smell spices.

“But it’s not done yet, and you need to take a shower.”

“What, why?”

“Well, you’re sweaty and feverish, so a room temperature shower will do you good.” She said, going to grab something out of her drawer. “And use this with your body soap.”She handed him a fancy little bottle that spelled Alcoholado on the front in a very worn down paper stuck to it.

“Okay.” He put up no resistance, just grabbing his Manly Man 2-in-1 Shampoo and Soap, his towel, some crocs for the shower (which everyone complained about, but whatever) a clean set of pjs, the bottle she had given him, stuffed it into his backpack, and went to the bathrooms.

Twenty minutes after, he was back, the table was almost set, two big bowls of something that looked like soup on the table, the trashcan full of plastic wrappers and veggie rests from the soup, the leftover ingredients tucked away in the only cabinet their kitchenette had, and a medium pot of soup on the stove, which wasn’t on anymore, but the soup on the inside still steamed a bit. And Julie in her christmas-gift-hoodie and some sweats.

“What was that thing you gave me?” Luke asked, looking at the bottle he held in his hand and throwing his bag on his bed.

“Alcoholado, my Abuela made it and gave me half a dozen bottles for college. It’s supposed to calm fevers and help with colds.” Julie said, putting the cutlery on the table and sitting down.

“And this is chicken Asopao, my Abuela also made it for me when I was sick.”

“Julie, you really didn’t-”

“In first place, yeah I did, it’s my fault you’re sick; and in second, I care about you, Luke.”

Luke almost fucking fainted, but decided that sitting on the chair and eating the Asopao she’d made was way better.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he said, cleaning up the table and everything with her. “ I feel a lot better.”

“I’m happy I did!” She said, somehow earning a nice hug from him.

After they broke apart the hug, they turned off the lights and went to sleep.

Julie was woken up at 4 am by Luke’s coughing, and went to check on him immediately.

She checked his temperature, which was somehow very cold, despite him being wrapped in a pair of blankets.

“I-I’m cold,” He muttered half asleep.

“Yeah, I can feel that.” She rushed to her bed again and pulled a thick duvet from under it, went back to Luke and laid it on him. “Better?”

“No.” He said, hesitantly. “Cuddle with me maybe?”

Julie thought about it. This would only make her heart flutter and turn her feelings towards him more intense, but he was sick because of her and she’d lose a bit of her dignity to make him feel better if that’s what it took.

“Scoot over.” She said softly, holding up the blankets so she could get under them.

Twenty seconds after, they were both cuddling very comfortably in his bed, Luke was beginning to warm up, when he made a comment;

“I know why I’m in love with you, Julie.” She opened her eyes in a heartbeat, but stood still, thinking about what to tell him, and if she should respond at all.

“It’s because you’re caring and lovable and kind and just, overall amazing.” He said sleepily, before she could say anything.

“I love you too, Luke.” She kissed the crown of his head, Yes they were spooning and she was big spoon. “Sleep now, though. You need it.”

They wiggled closer to one another, and finally fell asleep, under three blankets and had very sweet dreams.

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #luke x julie #juke #jatp juke #juke one shot #jatp one shot #julie jatp #jatp julie #luke jatp #jatp luke #julie and the phantoms one shot #julie x luke

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: The Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad has frequently been touted as one of the worst comic book movies ever, and honestly? I don’t really agree, even if I almost wholeheartedly agree with every criticism of it. The editing is bad, the story is a mess, the Squad’s friendship is nonexistent, characters like Waller act like absolute idiots, Enchantress is a bad character and an absurd villain for these people to face… And yet, the core cast of scoundrels are all pretty likable when you wipe off the crap they’re buried under. These characters all could have shined bright if they were given competent writing and direction; the ideas are there, but the execution is unbelievably flawed due to excessive executive meddling (and probably a bit of pretentiousness on director David Ayer’s part). If only there was a director capable of taking the concept of a bunch of C-list villains getting together and performing dangerous missions and, along the way, becoming a found family…

That director thankfully exists, and his name is James Gunn. Gunn has already shown twice that he is capable of doing “a bunch of assholes become a found family” really well with the two Guardians of the Galaxy films, films that have a lot of style and flair that help make them the best films in the MCU, and considering Suicide Squad was mangled the way it was to try and be more in line with his Guardians films, it only makes sense to pull him in to give Task Force X another shot. Why settle for imitations when you can get the real thing? It’s not like he was doing anything else while Mickey Mouse put him in time out for naughty tweets, after all.

But this isn’t Gunn under the thumb of the Mouse, oh no; this is Gunn allowed to go absolutely wild. This is Gunn given the budget of a modern superhero film and asked to make a Troma picture, with all the blood, gore, and cheesiness that entails, and by god did he pull it off. Right from the get go we are given a taste of just what sort of movie we’re in for as a mangy child-murdering weasel man shows up and Nathan Fillion detaches his arms from his body to gently tap enemy soldiers on the head, and somehow things only get wackier from there.

Gunn seemed to actively go out of his way to fix every single problem of the original film. The characters, for instance, are all fairly similar to those of the first film. Bloodsport is clearly the stand in for Deadshot, but where Deadshot was just your average charming, funny Will Smith role to the point it could get distracting, Idris Elba makes Bloodsport a tired straight man to the wacky antics around him and portrays his growth through the film very well. Peacemaker is the jackass of the team in the vein of Captain Boomerang, but where Boomerang had little use in the narrative despite being the best and funniest non-Harley member of the team, Peacemaker is given his full due, with John Cena making him one of the funniest assholes ever put to film and even giving him a bit of depth and moral complexity. King Shark, AKA Nanaue, is obviously Killer Croc’s replacement, but where Croc was bland and really just stood in the background the whole movie, Nanaue is a sweet, charming, funny oaf with brutal strength who is just absolutely lovable and adorable, all capped off with hilarious vocal delivery from Sylvester Stallone himself. Polka-Dot Man is something of a replacement for El Diablo, though while El Diablo was really bungled by the narrative despite being well-acted and sympathetic, Polka-Dot Man is given ample opportunity to be funny, tragic, and useful all at once, and gives him a bit of an arc (pretty impressive for a character who was added in solely because Gunn googled who the lamest DC villains were). And finally, Ratcatcher is something of the replacement for Katana, being the second woman of the squad and the token good teammate, though where Katana was awkwardly shoehorned in at the last minute, Ratcatcher is clearly the heart of this team and brings the band together. Overall, the new Squad is leagues better than the original, and you will care for this band of criminals by the film’s end.

Returning characters get their due as well, particularly the ones really screwed over by the first film Waller and Flag get it the best of all. In the first film, Waller’s entire scheme was stupid, nonsensical, contradictory, and basically everything she did went against what was told to us about her, namely that she is a master manipulator. It was really a waste of Viola Davis, who had the presence and mannerisms down but who was constantly being failed by a shoddy script. Thankfully, that’s not the case here; Waller is very much the ultimate, manipulative girlboss she should be, from using her own troops as a distraction for another team to threatening Bloodsport with his daughter getting raped and murdered in prison over a minor offense if he doesn’t join her Suicide Squad. She is a stone cold bitch you will love to hate, and is easily one of the best comic book villains in film now (quite the turnaround all things considered). Flag is an actual character in this movie, with great chemistry with the members of the new Squad, particularly Bloodsport and Harley. Much like Bloodsport, he also gets a bit of a rivalry with Peacemaker going, which ends up being entertaining and even leads to a truly sad moment late in the film. Quite impressive for a guy who did nothing but spout awkward exposition in the first film.

Then we have Harley. I’m going to be honest, Harley has never been written better than she was in this film. While Robbie has had the character down from day one, the scripts have consistently failed her. The original film did nothing with her but sexualize her and have her spout crappy one-liners, and while Birds of Prey was a massive step up and had her written as she should be, the overall narrative of that film didn’t quite give her the due she deserved due to her feeling like a passive character pushed around by the flow of the plot. Here, though, Harley fully grasps at what’s given to and takes charge when she can, leading to one of the best action scenes in a film full of them. She ahs great interactions with her teammates and is just consistently funnier than she ever has been before, and it makes me happy to know someone who loves this character as much as Robbie does is finally getting to truly shine as she deserves.

The music and editing are vastly better. Remember how the original film had a new licensed song every minute, and almost all of them made no sense, and the music that played for Deadshot was exclusively rap artists (which was lowkey kinda racist)? Well, Gunn is bringing his ability to weave songs into the narrative with this one, but he also gives plenty of time for the music composed for the film to shine. As for the editing, gone are the obtrusive comic-book style cards that announce stupid throwaway details (and in a few cases, plot points you will very likely miss), replaced by more amusing and less obtrusive gags. The movie is also cut in a way where, you know, it makes sense. Everything flows naturally, and while there are a couple of points where time rewinds so we can see how we got to a certain point, it’s never so confusing that you can’t follow it.

The stakes are vastly overhauled. It made zero sense in the first film that Waller would assemble a team that consists of people whose powers range from “is good with weapons” to “is an Aztec fire god” to “is a big ugly crocodile man” to take on Superman-level threats. This is like if you sent a Boy Scout troop to fight Godzilla, it’s just not gonna end well and there’s an absurd disparity in power levels. Here, the team is being sent on a general black ops mission and have their skills selected by who would be most useful for the mission, and while they do end up taking on something a bit outside their context in the form of a certain cyclopean starfish alien, it’s a bit easier to swallow because of the buildup and because “big angry alien” is a lot more sensible as a threat to black op vigilantes than “ancient interdimensional witch goddess with a zombie army.”

Most importantly, though, is that this film lives up to its title. This is very much a suicide mission, and where the last team made it out relatively unscathed, this film suffers a lot of casualties. Characters die for gags, characters die suddenly, you might think a character is going to be a big, important part of the plot only for them to be dispatched right when it seems they’re getting going. For a film like this, it works perfectly, and some of the deaths are absolutely hilarious. That being said, you can kind of predict who lives and who dies based on star power alone; do you really think Harley’s gonna bite it? Come on.

I don’t really have many issues with the movie, but I will reiterate: this is essentially a Troma film with a massive budget, made by one of their alumni. Troma is a studio that makes gory, gross, and awesome B-grade movies and a similar irreverent mentality is on display here. If you can stomach gore, violence, and absurdity then this is a film you’re probably going to get into, but it’s definitely not the kind of comic book movie for everyone. Thankfully, it is exactly the kind of comic book movie for me. It honestly feels like the sort of movie I’d want to make, where I take a bunch of stupid C-list villains with dumb powers and give them actual development and characterization to the point the audience feels something for them. You’re going to be moved by a girl who controls rats, a stupid shark man, and a depressed dude who shoots polka-dots from his hands, and you’re not going to care.

I really hope they follow this up with another one, especially if they bring James Gunn back. There were a lot of characters he considered for the team, and a lot of them have potential, be that hilarious or dramatic. I mean, the man considered Mr. Freeze, that guy could be one hell of a leading man! Round out the team with some of the considered ideas like Rainbow Creature, Solomon Grundy, Chemo, Livewire, Punch and Jewelee, Man-Bat, Dogwelder, and the almighty Kite Man, and you’ve got one hell of a Suicide Squad! Also, maybe get Gunn to consider Crazy Quilt and Condiment King.

Really, the possibilities are endless, and that’s what the fun of a Suicide Squad movie should be: seeing the dumbest dregs of comic book history thrown into a place where they’re probably going to die horribly. Gunn managed to get that when Ayer couldn’t, and the results are perhaps his magnum opus. This is Gunn at his best and most free, unchained from the restrictions of forcing a film to tie into a bunch of others while also using all the tricks of his signature style to craft a damn fine film that easily holds up on its own outside the context of the DCEU. These are the kind of comic book movies we need, so let’s hope this film gets the respect it deserves so it acts as a wakeup call for studios content to churn out

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #movie review #The Suicide Squad #James Gunn #DC #DCEU #Harley Quinn #King Shark #Bloodsport #polka-dot man #Peacemaker #comic book movie #action movie

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