#but also bc i lost every 50/50 except for one

[the-travelling-witch]

can’t wait to get home at like 6pm tomorrow and finally pull aventurine

[vaspider]

Spider!! Hola :)

So I know I came back way too early this time but with this whole situation we lost sight that 2 of the affected family members will be having their bdays.

So, if you don't feel comfortable with us asking so soon for a boost I do come asking for a fool proof apple pie recipe.

We're short on money so gifts are out of the question, but I could make them something tasty, and they have always wanted to try apple pie.

There are many recipes on the internet but I need one even I, who have never baked a pie, can bake.

Hope it's not a weird petition, I just remembered you have valuable experience in the recipes department.

Thanks for taking time to read our ask, please stay safe!

If you're looking for foolproof, I would actually skip over Apple pie as a starting point & I would instead go for an apple crisp.

A crisp is much easier to make - pastry can be really finicky if you aren't familiar with how to make it, whereas a crisp you just mix together all the good stuff that makes a tasty topping and you are good to go.

Easy Apple Crisp

Ingredients

1/2c butter, cold (do not take out to soften like you would for cookies)

6 apples (Granny Smith, Fuji, Pink Lady, or similar. NOT RED DELICIOUS.)

2T granulated sugar

2t pumpkin pie spice (or cinnamon, if that's what you've got, but I find that using pumpkin pie spice is just... better... if you can)

2t lemon juice

1c light brown sugar, lightly packed

1c old-fashioned rolled oats

1c all-purpose flour (if using gluten-free flour, that's fine - you don't need to add xanthan gum for this recipe)

1/2c chopped walnuts or pecans

1/2c craisins (technically optional, but don't skip)

Pinch kosher salt

Equipment

2 medium-sized mixing bowls

Sharp knife

Cutting board

2 large spoons for mixing

1 small bowl for butter

Method

Wash hands thoroughly before beginning. You should do this every time you cook or bake, but especially this time, bc we will be handling a lot of the ingredients directly.

Cut butter into small cubes. Put into small bowl and place back into refrigerator to keep cold until needed.

Preheat oven to 350°. Spray 8" baking dish with non-stick cooking spray or grease with butter. Set aside.

Core and chop apples into large bite-sized pieces, about as big across as a nickel. Some people peel the apples. I don't. I think that's a lot of extra work to eliminate a great source of fiber & flavor. Place apples in one of the mixing bowls. Add lemon juice, granulated sugar, 1t of the pumpkin pie spice. Stir until combined, then pour into prepared baking dish.

If you prefer smaller bits, lightly chop the craisins. I like them full-sized, personally.

Put the rest of the ingredients except the butter - craisins, chopped nuts, brown sugar, flour, oats, 1t pie spice, salt - into the 2nd bowl and stir to combine.

Get the butter out of the fridge. Work it into the dry ingredients with your fingers until you have pea-sized crumbs. You can also use a fork or two knives for this or a pastry blender if you're very posh, but I really prefer using my hands. It's easier, and you get better texture, IMO.

Spread evenly over apple mix. Even it out a bit with the back of one of your mixing spoons. Don't leave any big gaps, but also don't press down on the mix at all.

Bake for 40-50 minutes or until the topping is golden brown and the apple/sugar mix bubbles up at the corners of the dish.

Notes

This recipe is specifically written with round amounts to make it easy to size up or down! You can halve this or double it. Doubling it should make about enough to fill a 13 x 9 casserole dish.

Make sure to adjust your cooking time if you adjust the size!

If you have small oven-safe bowls or ramekins, you can divide this between those ramekins instead. If you do this, DON'T heap up the topping higher than the top of the dish. It gets very easy to spill.

Like technically you don't HAVE to use the nuts or craisins but ... why would you want to skip those? THE FLAVOR!!

If you really prefer raisins I guess you can use those. I hate raisins, and also craisins add a tart element which makes the dish really delightful and more complex IMO.

You can make a crisp like this with lots of different fruit! This recipe works pretty much exactly the same if you substitute in 4-5c of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, or pears. You may want to fiddle with the amount of white sugar or the spices, but yeah. Once you know this recipe, it's a good basic dessert recipe that you can use for a lot of fruit!

If using berries, make sure to rinse them very well with cold water and inspect for any spots of mold. Supermarket berries get moldly REALLY fast. If possible, buy berries from chain supermarkets the day you're going to use them, and check berries in the store. Open the containers, don't be shy. Nothing sucks more than wasting money from your grocery budget and realizing when you get home that you bought moldy berries.

Enjoy!

[snottertooder]

GOODDD I’m so done with hero Jason, I miss his Villian era sooo badly, give me Anti hero red hood (like he’s supposed to be sigh) stalking his victims like in red hood lost days, PLEASE give me alone Jason where he gets to kill without dealing with someones pouty face. The more characters that enter his space the more out of character he becomes #free him.

I want him to go on missions where he tracks down a child trafficking ring or smth and just go absolutely nuts on everyone there (except he does his research on every employee in that building and makes sure to kill those who deserve it (well… if your hanging around a place like that you deserves)) I would read 50 issues of him just doing research if it meant he’ll be consistently well written the entire time. Also like with 0 bat characters, 0 Batman mention, 0 joker mentions, Eddie can come… rose can come too… but I wanna see some alone time first, LIKE PLEASEEE LET HIM BE ALONE

Dc… if you’re hearing this… which I hope your not bc you’ll ultimately put the worse writer on the job…. Please… I’m just a little girl (im not) …. I just want one thing(I don’t , after this I want an outlaw series with Eddie and rose ty 🫰)

The art can be atrocious too that it gives us the ugliest Jason Todd to date (like it tops dceased…) just… just write him good… consistently…

[fruitbasketball]

wnba recap 8/15

y’all can go ahead and put on tupac back for this one bc WE BAAAAAAAACKKKK BABY

lemme not waste anybody’s time let’s jump right in ‼️

minnesota lynx vs. washington mystics

we’re gonna start off real cutesy real demure w this one bc the other games tonight were… something…

YO SLIM’S BACK??? OH HEYYYYY KIRA OKAY YEAH MYSTICS UP

except not because they lost but we’re getting there! still spectacularly ass fgp and 3pfg WOW!! paige bueckers, YOU are a washington mystic 🤩🤩🤩

a warm welcome back to miss alanna smith and miss napheesa collier from the 2024 paris olympics 🥰 (guys i’m trying to use more emojis are we fw it??) anyway great production from the lynx starting five except miss bridget carleton. girl… let’s get more than 4 if we’re gonna be on the floor for a full 29… goddd bless

phoenix mercury vs. chicago sky

it’s always some shit with that chennedy carter huh?? LORD 💀💀💀 lemme not speak on it too much but sometimes we don’t need to be yapping on the internet!! sometimes we js needa hoop!! and that’s okay 😭😭😭

double double miss angel reese thank you! also side note: those 2k scores… y’all just lazy!! come on caitlin clark and angel reese cannot BOTH be a 90. THREE rookies cannot be tied at an 80 y’all need to start being fr oh my LORD!! i am TIRED!!! put in the work when you speak on women’s sports or don’t speak on them at ALL!!!

ANYWAY

4-19 from 3… 🤨🤨🤨 aight bro if you say so

fuckin crazy work from 3 tonight man EVERYBODY get back in the gym maybe tupac not back 😭

NVM KAH 30 PIECEEEE 🗣️🗣️🗣️ THAT’S 29 FROM KAHLEAH COPPER ICE PHILLY THANKKKKK YOU

real talk the mercury absolutely dominated on efficiency here; both fgp and 3pfg above 50%, taking smart shots, moving the ball assisting on 26 of 33 shots - merc look good y’all i can’t lie 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

welcome back to our olympians of course: dee, bg, kah - we missed youuu 🤭

new york liberty vs los angeles sparks

y’all need to be so for real.

just say you want another blonde bitch in LA. JUST SAY YOU WANT ANOTHER FUCKIN BLONDE BITCH IN LA

you got blown out. by 35 POINTS???

THIS is cali hoops now???? mannnn someone call lisa tell her what they’re doing to her team over in socal 😃 bc what the fuck

also when tf did crystal sign to the sparks bro what… always some shit going on w this team bruh stfg

point here is the liberty dominated in every possible aspect of the game - they shot smarter, shot better, rebounded more off the defensive glass, protected the ball, forced more turnovers, pushed the pace, destroyed in the paint, didn’t let the sparks pick up a lead even ONCE

complete game from the liberty tonight - this was a playoff performance

stewie heard some mfker talking crazy on her name ig

i mean this is just complete domination like… i’d be embarrassed

anyway more to come 🙏🏽 thank y’all for tuning in imma call it a night

[ukranianacearo]

Guess who watched The Hobbit AGAIN💪

And now I'm having ideas for some characters, but have no motivation to write it, so you get this.

Imagine Yandere!Thranduil x First Wife! Reader but with a twist (not the one where she's also yandere, srry)

So our reader has lived many lives because of someone who couldn't accept their death in their first life. They have a curse (or a spell, whatever you wanna call it) that makes them reincarnate every time with the same body, a similar story, same nationality, etc, but with no memories of past lives, they have the trauma,but they don't know from where it comes. Things in their life can change certain way, only if they don't see or even know about that someone's existence. And in one of their so many lives, they reincarnate as an elf (idk what is the gn word for elf, I'm sorry) who's not in a great position, to say. Their lives in general aren't very good, but this one is particularly bad. When they come of age, they parents decided that it's their time to marry (I think for elves the coming of age is when they turn 100 y/o, but they finish puberty at around 50 y/o). And they have options to choose, but unfortunately, most of them aren't really good options. Except Thranduil, it seems. So they agree to marry him, blah blah blah. One of the problems for reader, is that they're aroace. In every life time. And this one wasn't an exception. But Thranduil isn't aroace, in fact he falls in love with reader after long years of knowing each other and marrying each other in the end and even having a child, Legolas. When reader dies in this verse it affects greatly many, but for reader, life begins again from 0, without them knowing it. They are born in a totally different universe, where time goes much faster than in The Hobbit's universe. They live on, die at the usual age because they knew that someone as their childhood friend. But after this death, instead of reincarnation, they get to guard one of the universes for some time. Unfortunately thought, that universeexplodes right before their arrival and now they're a lost guardian, who lives a lot longer and can't die at all (bc simple guardians die of the universe they're guarding is destroyed). And now they just travel verses bc that's what they got to do. And imagine that one of the verses they travel to (and the slowest one that she has ever visited) is the Hobbit's universe and now she's making friends with Gandalf and long after she's with the gnomes and Bilbo going to Erebor.

And now I will leave the ending open, unless you want otherwise bc I don't know how to put my thoughts on paper (or rather screen) lol

See ya

And I'm going to watch the Hobbit again (the notes at the beginning are from when I started writing things and the notes at the end are the ones I write when I finish the piece. Usually, at least a day or some hours gave passed away from one point time the other) and I already rewatched LOTR. Might write for Legolas, why not

[literallyjusttoa]

So, I'm rereading THO again for a thing, and I just noticed this. On page 94, Apollo says -

"We gods are not hung up about such things. I myself have had . . . let's see, thirty-three mortal girlfriends and eleven mortal boyfriends? I've lost count."

Ok sir, I'm calling bs. Let's do the math under the cut

According to Apollo, he's dated 44 mortals. He does say he's lost count, but i'd assume the number he gives us would at least be close to the actual correct number. Like, I don't think he'd come up with such specific answers if they weren't at least somewhat accurate. Let's see what kind of number we can come up with. First, we can count the children we know he's had in modern times and assume he made them with another person we can assume he was dating. That means:

Austin

Georgie

Gracie

Halcyon

Jerry

Kayla

Lee

Michael

Will

Yan

So ten people. Cool, that leaves us 34 more lovers which seems accurate. Except no, wait, the lowest number of mortal lovers Apollo could have had (referenced from Theoi) is 24 (19 women and 5 men if you were curious). Plus we have to add Commodus so that's 25. So you're telling me, Apollo, our lovely manwhore Apollo, dated 25 people during antiquity, dated ONLY 9 people throughout all of the time between the end of Commodus' reign (192) to somewhere in the 1990's, and then dated 10 people in very quick succession. That's almost 2000 YEARS in which Apollo dated 9 PEOPLE.

That is so obviously wrong, so lets use math to figure out what the actual amount may be. Now, I'm making the assumption that Apollo dates at around the same rate all the time, which I know isn't accurate, but this is just for fun. With that in mind -

There's no set time period for antiquity, so I'm using the starting date of 776 B.C.E. (Date of the first Olympics) and the end of Commodus' reign 192 C.E., since he's the last lover we know Apollo had in ancient times. That's 25 lovers in 968 years.

Which means Apollo has really been getting around in recent years bc he's had 9 lovers in about 12 years. Idk what happened in the 90's/early 2000's but have fun I guess. We also have Halcyon, who was maybe born in the 1940/50's? He's a bit of an outlier.

So from antiquity, we have a rate of one lover every 39 years, and from recent times we have a lover every year with a break once every 4 years. Maybe Apollo doesn't date people on leap years idk.

So now let's calculate how many lovers Apollo might've had in the middle bit we know nothing about. The Apollo Dark Ages, if you will. Counting Halcyon, we'll make the time period for this time 192-1950. That's 1,758 years.

Using the Antiquity rate: 45 lovers

Using the Modern rate: 1,319 lovers

And Apollo, in THO, says that OVERALL he's only had 44 lovers.

Apollo, buddy, when you said you lost count I didn't think you meant you lost count this much jesus christ.

[kiichxko]

UNLOCK IT!

Bllk boys playing genshin!

Warnings: some quest spoilers for genshin

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

ISAGI YOICHI (潔 世一)

He's the very rare traveler main! Specifically aether

Mainly uses electro or dendro aether for the elemental reactions

He doesn't understand why people don't use traveler a lot, he thinks being able to switch elements at will is very useful and versatile

SUCKS at dodging, he literally depends on his zhongli's shield to keep him alive

Speaking of zhongli, he lost his 50/50 to keqing on his banner, homeboy later spent hours grinding for primos, he deadass refuses to whale at all

He also might have sacrificed keqing at qingyun peak multiple times

Luckily, the peepaw came home after 30 more pulls

He's pretty netural when it comes to co-op, so long as you don't take his materials without permission (bachira is an exception)

He LOVES the new TCG event, he's got all the character cards and won nearly every single match in a span of a week

He also does co-op challenges with the others, they range from waverider races to stuff like "who dies first while fighting _____" competitions or "beat azdaha without a shield or healing" challenge

Bachira came up with the last one specifically for him

Low key hates fighting the cryo cube, the fruits you gotta hit to break the shield are a pain in the ass (i'm not self-projecting here i swear)

BACHIRA MEGURU (蜂楽 廻)

A hutao and yoimiya main!

He enjoys looking at yoimiya's idle animations and spams her normal attacks just so he could see her do those little flips

Probably learned hu tao's dance and song by heart so every now and then while playing he'll go:

“大丘丘病了，二丘丘瞧～”

“三丘丘采药，四丘丘熬～”

He plays in CN dub but with JP subtitles

Still messes up a little on the pinyin pronouncination but he's trying

He also relates to hu tao since they were both considered weirdos by everyone (bachira's hu tao kinnie era guys)

Has considered cosplaying a character before

Loves exploring! Has every area at 100% exploration rate and all statues at level 10 somehow??

Always forgets that he's a pyro main and that grass exists so he basically almost dies standing on burning grass (can someone please get him a healer or a shield.)

Trolls other people in co-op by doing shit like the "disco disco party party" thing or using jean to yeet people

But other than that, he's actually very helpful with exploring and finding chests

Also steals materials from isagi

Sometimes forgets how to glide and ends up dying from fall damage (me too bachira me too)

CHIGIRI HYOMA (千切 豹馬)

Ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri-

He first got her on the beginner's banner she's been on his team ever since, definitely has her c6

You can't tell me that he wouldn't decorate his teapot bc he WOULD

And it's decorated so nicely too, he's even got a whole area dedicated to the animals he caught

Started playing after bachira said the landscapes were pretty but then he got invested into the lore (he watches those genshin theory videos too)

Enjoys taking photos of the landscapes and his characters, he once accidentally clicked on his diluc's skill while taking a photo and proceeded to laugh at how cursed it looked

Doesn't like solving the puzzles in inazuma and enkanomiya tho so he just google searches the solutions

Randomly makes cracked theories about khaen'riah, it happens so often no one can tell if he's being serious or not

Absolutely hates paimon's voice, he'll throw off his headphones whenever paimon starts talking and go "stfu paimon" like calm down

HATES the spectors with all his heart

He also likes collecting items in the open world, has over 2k of each of them

Might have spent a bit of money on welkin but that's as far as he'll go

Idk why but he strikes me as the type to mainly use bow or catalyst users bc of the range

Is very good at aiming and dodging, has laughed at isagi struggling while they were fighting azdaha

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (國神 錬介)

The man somehow got a qiqi on the beginner's banner, he read her backstory, felt bad, and decided to main her

And no, his qiqi is not a healer or support, she's a full blown physical DPS

And her build is no joke either, he once made her do 200k damage while fighting the new scaramouche boss like kunigami wtf are you feeding her??

If there's a boss you can't beat, just call him to co-op and his zombie child will carry

Is another lore invester

Chigiri once sent him a video explaining enkanomiya lore and they later spent hours discussing about it

Got emotional at the tsurumi island and kazari quest, maybe at the dainsleif chasm quest too

Also levels up all his character's friendship to 10 to get their name cards

Has read all of his character's stories out of boredom

Completed ALL of his world quests, doesn't skip the dialogue in case he misses something important

Does hangout quests, beidou was his favourite one

Can never see hilichurls the same anymore after the chasm archon quest, all this time he's been killing cursed, innocent people? He feels so guilty

His luck when it comes to the gacha is literally phenomenal, the guy has never lost a 50/50 in his life

He's very skilled at controling his waverider and comes out at the top during waverider races

He's also good in fishing too, he manages to always stay within the moving bar

He plays spiral abyss often and would have 36 stars if it weren't for the last few floors being such a pain in the ass

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[wyldblunt]

what are glyndwr's thoughts on joko

oh anon. ohhhhh, anon. where do we begin. also thank you for this i was having kind of a stressful night and trhis is taking my mind off it entirely

okay so. you know the whole Hello, Clarice hannibal lecter thing (he never actually said that in the movie but you know what i mean. that vibe. cat and mouse questionably mutual fascination). okay take that. but instead of hannibal and clarice it's TWO hannibals. except one of the hannibals is Reformed now and he has pinky-promised to stop being evil and to try his best not to kill civilians as collateral damage and to even [big heaving eye-rolling sigh] LIKE, BE NICE TO PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIM SOMETIMMMMEESSSS UGH, and maybe Good Guy Hannibal has even been doing pretty okay at all of this "being one of the good guys" thing. like, not GREAT. he's okay at it.

well, we're starting there.

glyndwr has not, like, had A Nemesis since callas, and frankly callas hasn't been his REAL nemesis in ages bc his "main character of an MMO" power creep WAYYYYY outstripped her whole thing like, back in the personal story, and i think he has kind of forgotten what having a nemesis does to his brain. and the answer to "what does having a nemesis do to glyndwr's brain" is IT FUCKING LIQUIFIES IT

so the whole joko thing starts, and maybe alan thought it was a little weird how aggressive glyn got poking at joko thru the bars of his cage in the domain of the lost but oh well, sometimes glyn gets really aggro and likes to antagonize people, what are you gonna do. but then after that, all of the "let's dress up as his archon and steal his armies!!!" and "let's make it look like there's a sunspear rebellion, don't you think that will make joko sooooooo mad. do you think he'll be mad. how mad do you think he'll get" etc etc is all glyndwr, and they are all plans that the rest of our main group are generally not JAZZED about. they are similarly not jazzed about the fact that glyndwr brings joko up at every single opportunity in every conversation, and generally is not sleeping At All, and is maybe back on bloodstone again?, and also his Evil Laugh is back after a multi-year absence

basically a lot of glyndwr's post-villainy progress backslides REALLY HARD bc he is just having, frankly, way too much fun playing Evil War Barbies with a lich king. a really big part of most of glyndwr's interpersonal conflicts thru lws4 kick up bc he is Actively Having Fun the whole time (in... in his own way...) which is unsettling and offputting for most of his loved ones.

i guess this is all more his BEHAVIOR about joko rather than his THOUGHTS about joko, so summary of his THOUGHTS about joko: as obsessed with joko as glyn is, he definitely does not RESPECT joko, but that's like. almost making him weirder about it? bc he refuses to lose to someone he doesn't respect and also he holds joko in so much contempt that 50% of this whole thing is just him fantasizing about how much he'll be able to rub joko's nose in it when he finally wins and assert once and for all that he is The Bigger Better More Awesomer And Most Devious Mastermind. but also maybe a little bit of all of this is that he envies joko a little. maybe glyndwr is a little too aware of how overpowered he is and is indulging in a little daydreaming about what he could have accomplished if he had stayed evil instead of switching over. and maybe he is then squashing those daydreams by putting every single ounce of his being into trying to annihilate joko off the face of the earth as loudly and violently as possible, to prove that he is actually still good

also it's not a sex thing. i know that because of how glyn is this looks indistinguishable from a sex thing for him. but it's not

[figula]

anyway i just need to get through saturday (the wedding party w/ ben's fam) without a public meltdown + then things will calm down a bit. this is actually not true bc its my birthday on the 26th and then my sister comes to stay for a few days on the 27th but at least that's quieter than a 40-50 people get together. im so sad about it, i feel feral and crazed by the idea of being looked at again, i feel much worse about it than i did about the actual wedding, i think bc last year i was fresh on the starving high + this year i have not been starving myself at all and feel generally shittier

also obviously bc i was already dreading it my period started tonight so. that's great as well!! love to wear a fucking white dress in those circumstances x i told ben i would wear the dress for like half an hr then im putting on my normal clothes and that's that. and he wasnt bothered by this, i think he is having similar thoughts anyway about the whole thing except i think he is looking forward to it more bc a) he doesnt ahve an eating disorder and b) he likes his family

on the plus side my hip has been muuuch more reliable lately, the last few times ive done the walk to and from town it's been achy by the end of it but not at all going into the spasms of agony it did basically every time i tried to walk anywhere longer than half an hr (and sometimes less if it was a bad day)

also not sure i even mentioned this here but a bunch of intl friends are coming 2 worcester late sept to hang out, first time since the wedding for the americans (and the german) and it is gonna be really nice to see them :) obviously im anxious about it bc of my irritating nature but how amazing that we have a group of people who are literally flying across the world to hang out with us for a week. that is really lovely and worth celebrating. trying to be ok about the fact i havent lost any more weight since the wedding and just being like. normal about seeing my friends who dont care how much i weigh

oh also. one more thing, my mum said to me "do you know who met for the first time at [location of wedding party]?" and i immediately felt that i DID know and was like - not daddy's parents?? and she was like i knew you inherited my Psychic Abilities :) but it was them - which is a bit funny. i hope their rancid vibes have cleared out by now bc they were bad people lol

[stinkrascal]

girl i love hearing about your characters !! tell me more abt the embassy members, where r they from?? interests? fun facts !! i love it all

helloooooooo 🥀 i will talk about nadia and helena bc they're my favorites!

nadia has been the headmaster of forgotten hollow for about a century now, one of the longest running leaders in history. they are the oldest member of the embassy, well over 900 years old, though nobody seems to know where she originated or if she has always been so, not even vladislaus. her coven doesn't question her, however, and despite its sheer size there seems to be unprecedented peace among her spawn. as the headmaster, they've sired many spawn. that doesn't mean she hasn't had to kill to assert her place; most know better than to test her, but some need reminding. of course, she's not just the headmaster! a leader needs many hobbies to keep a robust mind. in nadia's spare time she enjoys painting, you can see one of her paintings on the 12th picture in this post here. she's also a musician who's taught herself to play nearly every instrument. she's the one who taught vladislaus to play the piano, and on occasion you can still find her playing a ballad with helena, though they have been noticeably more distant since vladislaus's turning some 200 years ago. for some unknown reason, nadia's powers have begun waning, and with it, their ability to cast the protective barriers shrouding forgotten hollow. she hasn't lost all hope, though. with helena's help, nadia has been able to facilitate peace among the vampires and the mages for decades; she's spent years working closely with them for a cure to her sudden ailment.

helena is the second youngest embassy member, only about 50 years older than vladislaus, who is the youngest and the newest member of forgotten hollow's embassy. she is a half-vampire, half-mage, born to a vampire father and a witch mother who have both long since perished. she keeps this fact a secret; only a select few know of her mage blood, among them being nadia and the archmage in glimmerbrook known as L faba. though she used to be headmaster nadia's right hand, it seems she's fallen out of favor since straud's arrival. she tries not to let that bother her, though; she's an exceptional vampire, save for those few-and-far between instances where the smell and sight of blood repulses her. those who know her well might insist it is her mage blood warring against her vampiric nature, but, really, helena insists it's a sensory issue more than anything else. don't let her magical nature fool you, though; helena is an accomplished vampire in her own right with a decent coven of about a dozen spawnlings of her own. it is even said that these vampires are especially magically adept, capable of producing magic most vampires cannot. though her mentoring duties keep her preoccupied, she enjoys sitting in nature, foraging, and brewing potions in her spare time, what little of it she has left.

[clangen-stories]

i have so many stories.... (and clans but. well. adhd) okay so first off this was a few months ago in one of my first few clans and i hardly remember anything but. i had a lesbian couple, rock & blaze. blaze had two kits (bc i have same-sex kits on) and they’re happy. they’re really in love, especially blaze, and my fav couple in a clan of like. 50 cats bc they’re so cute together. then, rock gets pregnant. it’s all well & i’m really happy for them until she gives birth and they’re NOT blaze’s. i decided that she didn’t tell anyone even tho i was sad n felt bad for blaze :( but yeah. when those kits are apprentices, rock gets pregnant aGAIN. and she cheats on blaze AGAIN. with the same cat. and that is when i realised it. the worst thing about it all. the cat rock was cheating on blaze with? bLAZE’S OWN FATHER. TWICE. and blaze was really close with him too :(( this time the text was abt him entering the den looking forward to co-parenting or smth so i made them break up and meditated to make blaze dislike her former mate & father for the shit they were pulling. like two months after her last litter rOCK GETS LOST. AND SHE NEVER RETURNS, INSTEAD DYING. so blaze ended up having to co-parent with her own father. i love her sm still she had sm bad luck and i feel so sorry for her :( she was so happy with rock.... :((

then i also had these two cats in another clan. rainhunter (new warrior) finds tadpole, soon tadpolepaw on a patrol, and he joins the clan. the next moon tadpole starts falling for tadpole, and the one after, rain starts crushing too. their romantic bars go up to 3/4ths and 1/2nd in the record speed of FIVE MOONS and then. rainhunter fucking dies. by protecting tadpole from a fire!! tadpolepaw, now tadpolecurl is devastated. doesn’t just gain grief, also lasting one. neither of them managed to confess while alive,, i actually made up lore around them—rain stays with him as a ghost since tadpole can see ghosts, and they actually get together after rain’s death. so, there’s not enough healers, and tadpole decides to become one even if he’s a warrior. all goes well, but he never falls in love again. cue to him being like 30 moons old, and a healer joining who looks EXACTLY like rain except for their eye colors. this was pure rng, but tadpole starts disliking her, more and more every moon, until he ends up murdering her. personally choosing to interpret it as him not being able to go on with her looking so so similar to his dead love of his life (and rain had a bloodthirsty trait, soo ghost rain encouraging him to do it <3). i eventually stopped playing this clan bc i lost motivation but. man. rainhunter and tadpolechase. fuck. (also their names !! hunter. chase. RAINhunter. TADPOLEchase. they are linked)

now after all this sadness, a silly funny one :3 in gardeniaclan i had a former kittypet join on moon 1. her name? wigglebutt. her full name after changing it to make it sound more clan-like? wigglebuttwhistle. she is amazing. on the same moon of her joining, the deputy thornsting falls for her. he also falls for some tom who’s name i forgot the moon after, but he loves both of them abt the same amount. a few moons in wigglebuttwhistle actually gains a tiny crush back on thorn, and the other tom he loves also likes him back. i haven’t really played more bc technically they’re for a clangen blog... but man i am so so rooting for the simp thornsting, his girlboss wife wigglebuttwhistle, and the random guy who’s name i forgot. i love them. i think i’ll cry if they don’t ever become a thing.

sorry this is so long but,, ramble ramble

NO THIS IS SO GREAT. RAMBLE ALL YOU LIKE

first of all that first story oh my god???? YOUR CLAN AND THE TRAGEDIES?

[childeapologist]

Less than 40 mins left on Zhongli’s banner and I managed to get him on my alt account as well

sfdjkhgdkh thank god I needed a shielder on here so badly and he is the one...the only

[amakumos]

enhypen playing genshin ― ot7.

genre: crack maybe?? these r just headcanons lol authors note: because i love genshin and enha... i made this. feel free to tell me ur opinions as well!! also tell me who u main and what ar u are.. im a kazuha main n im ar56😈

HEESEUNG. 

this man. he’s either a raiden or eula main. 

actually i can see him maining diluc as well tbh

fucking oneshots everything?? 

he’s basically tony to. big dmg numbers, god tier artifacts, and.. he probably is a huge whale. think ... tuonto whaling for c6 ei vibes. except he does that with every banner

probably the guy everyone goes to for advice on how to make their builds better. he’d also tell u to just watch while he completely obliterates everything in the artifact domains for u 

hes that one guy who uses primogems to swap to resin and has like 100 fragile resin 

probably successfully soloed azhdaha with his dps.

he’s probably.. ar60..... 

JAY.

i can see him being a light spender, only buying genesis crystals when he rlly wants a character.

probably a xiao main (he definitely mains one of the liyue big 3) 

probably has primordial jade winged spear... 

artifact luck is mediocre but his gacha luck?? fucking insane 

probably got his favourite character at 9 pity (give me ur luck i am TIRED of getting characters at soft pity)

has never lost a 50/50 because he is mhy’s favourite

does big dmg numbers but absolutely despises abyss, he will not do it even if he gets primogems

speedruns new areas bc he likes exploring the map 

probably ar55 

JAKE.

do i even need to explain?? this man mains CHILDE.

u know how childe never crits even with like 50% crit rate?? that’s why jake gave him 90% crit rate. 

his childe’s crit ratio probably makes everyone jealous. its like 90% to 125% smth. 

LOVES CO-OP!! he does all his domains in co-op bc he probably likes making new friends (jake if u play genshin pls co op w me)

probably bangs on his keyboard when he gets a shit artifact

knows every word to the tar tar taglia song. (tartartaglia lover of snezhnayan queen)

probably didnt find out about talents until ar35

currently ar45 with like 100k exp over the amount but hes not bothered to do the ascension quest

SUNGHOON.

100% mains a cryo character, probably ayaka

doesn’t play often but when he does he literally plays for hours

probably follows leakers bc he’s saving his primogems for someone he rlly rlly wants

i think. his favourite harbinger is scaramouche 

never plays in co-op. unless its with the other members

has never needed to go back to the blizzard strayer domain due to the amount of times he’s done it to get artifacts for his main

his only properly built characters r his two dps for abyss. his supports r all like lv70 with half leveled artifacts 

but somehow can do abyss up to floor 12??? even with his half built supports?? but he did floor 12 once and he got so stressed he rage quit the game

probably ar50

SUNOO.

MAINS THE CHARACTERS THAT MANY PEOPLE DIDN’T PULL FOR. like kokomi and yoimiya 

loves playing co-op and being the healer. not just bc he thinks its helpful for the others but he likes to think abt how his teammate’s health is in his hands... so if ur rude to him .... he’s not healing u 😁

loves collecting namecards and changing his profile bc he thinks its cute

TEAPOT DECORATOR. his teapot is so beautiful like - you’d probably think he’s an interior designer

does decent dmg, the only reason why he isn’t doing super super super big numbers is bc of his artifact luck T_T (sunoo i will give u all my good artifact pieces.. even if i only have 2) 

doesn’t like killing slimes bc theyre too cute. thats why he buys slime condensate from paimons bargains

has made kokomi crit before. he is the number 1 kokomi enthusiast.

probably around ar50 as well 

JUNGWON.

to be honest i think he’d be a yanfei main!! but if we’re talking abt 5 stars, then he’s a kazuha main!

loves exploring the map and gets excited when opening luxurious chests T_T (hes so CUTE)

INVESTED IN THE LORE. probably thinks of theories abt whats happening w celestia and everything 

if you’d ask him to help u a quest with smth he would Not hesitate because he’s done all of them. 

more invested in the lore and playing the game than the gacha aspect of it, probably has like 24k primogems

f2p. he’s not those like “f2p btw😆😆😆👍” people, he’s just never thought about spending money on it bc. he doesn’t want to

doesnt even try making his builds good but does 100k+ dmg. hes just that lucky w artifacts?? he probably googles “best builds for __” and then farms the set. and then. boom. big dmg 

ar48 probably. that was specific 

NI-KI

HU TAO MAIN. he has staff of homa and everything and got her to c1 

burns grass when playing with others in co-op to decrease their health. 

loses every single 50/50 to diluc. thats why he has c4 diluc im sorry riki 

yells out loud whenever he dies 

wants qiqi solely for the purpose of putting her and hu tao on the same team. but he has never gotten her (probably jealous of tuonto and his c16 qiqi) 

never saves reckless pallad (but tbh does anyone) 

likes using jean to throw other people who hes co oping with off high mountains. 

he’s like heeseung - oneshots everything. highest dmg is around one million smth. the both of them probably compete to see who can get the highest dmg w the same character 

LOVES INAZUMA DO I NEED TO SAY MORE :(( his exploration there is 100% and he has mastered all the inazuma recipes 

ar59. he is so close to ar60 tho 

[americankimchi]

okay so i just recently got into dc (okay correction it's mostly just batman/batfam/batcat) after being like vaguely interested for years and enjoying all the memes and stuff you reblog and i was wondering if you knew any good batfam or batcat fics? bit of a long shot but i'm struggling to find any on my own lol

RUBS MY HANDS TOGETHER OHOHO ANON YOU HAVE COME 2 THE RIGHT PLACE

listen im a dick grayson stan first and batfam stan second. so this reclist is gonna reflect that sjskjsk

anyways here are some of my favorites xoxo

The world where Bruce went to therapy by shanahane

this one is a No Capes AU (means they are civilians not superheroes) where bruce goes "perhaps,,, i will seek professional help,,," and does not end up punching criminals in the throat at night. instead he is metaphorically punching criminals in the throat by focusing 100% of his attention on the civilian sphere (instead of 50% bc bruce still does that in canon... just not as much as he dropkicks in the name of justice sjkjskksj)

i love it bc it's SO good,,, so Healing,,,,,, he still adopts all his kids except they are ALSO well-adjusted kids who. stay kids instead of vigilantes. please read this series if u want family-friendly fun that is wholesome and cute <3

Earth 27 by Anonymous

in dc, universes are given tags to denote which continuity it follows in the multiverse. in this fic it deals with two universes, earth 27 and earth 32. earth 27's dick grayson is dead. earth 32's dick grayson was kidnapped to make up for the loss. this fic deals with grief and the ugly ways you deal with it when you have the ability to hop universes to "fix" things

detective stories by prismatical

i have read every fic in this series MULTIPLE times. they're all casefics and they're all complete except for the third one in the series which hasn't been updated since 2020 😭

most of them have dick getting his ass sent to the horse plinko while the rest of the batfam are desperately trying to save him before he hits the fire but the POINT is that it's all very good batfam fun. i recently reread "fun and games" and oughhh baby it's 👌👌👌

upside down and inside out by danishsweethearts

reverse robins au which basically means that the batkids have their ages flipped so damian's the oldest and dick's the youngest. has that rare quality in a reverse robins au where the author doesn't make the older batkids use the robin moniker. truly one of my dealbreakers for reverse robins aus since it absolutely doesn't make any sense for robin to exist before dick joins the family since that was his mother's name for him

actually i recommend everything danishsweethearts has written. a goldmine of fics 👍

Watch This by snackbaskets

baby dick grayson grifts barry and hal and uses it as an excuse to give everyone in the justice league a heart attack. also to be very cute with batdad :')

The Titans never really stopped being teens within by mielipieli

okay granted this one's not a batfam fic rec it's more a titans fic rec but i have to give it a shoutout as one of my favorite titans series on ao3 PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY there are SO few fab five fics on ao3

Roadtrip Vigilantes by Beabaseball

basically bruce stays with the league of assassins instead of returning to gotham to become batman. he still manages to find and adopt a robin. this one is an absolute masterpiece :)

i do have some more fic recs but they're unfinished ones with only one chapter out right now or on hiatus or unfortunately abandoned. also i know you asked for batfam/batcat fanfics but i,,,,,, truly only read fics with my boy in them. which is why i also didn’t put the fics that were primarily focused on dick and had little to no mention of the batfam sjksjdk

i think i had some bruce-centric fics i really liked but those were on ff.net and i don't remember my login info so my favorites list is unfortunately lost to time 😔😔😔

i hope u get a kick outta these anyways tho anon 👌

[churchyardgrim]

this got way, way longer than i meant it to lmao so it's going behind a readmore, but the gist is: op you're absolutely correct on every front here

i work with a bitter, misanthropic guy in his 50s who's had to restart his life three times bc of poverty and addiction and abandonment, and who swears up and down that you can't trust people, that nobody cares about each other, that there's no one around worth leaning on, and by all accounts this trump-voter should loathe me

the guy declared me one of his best friends within a month of meeting me

because i listened when he talked about his life, and made sympathetic faces, and said "i'm sorry man, that's fucked up and it shouldn't have happened to you", and apparently that's the most kindness he's been shown in years.

also somehow queer rights is like. the only thing he's remotely progressive on? he might've offered to do physical harm to anyone that gives me shit for my gender, in that career criminal "i know a guy" way?? still not sure how to feel about that one

but the point is, i was gentle and nonconfrontational with him. i let him rant for an hour or two a week about this and that and his life and such, and it's been... educational, i think. this is a guy who bought into The American Dream hook line and sinker. he believes wholeheartedly that Hard Work Earns You Your Life. that nothing is free (except america), that if you work hard every day, eventually you'll be rewarded. that suffering for your work is a virtue, that "lazy people" shouldn't be enabled, that the world is full of fakers and liars and scammers and it's only honest people that feed themselves into the capitalist machine that deserve anything good in life.

he's 20 years younger than my dad and he can barely walk. he's worked himself into a disabled state, and refuses to see it as disability. because he's too proud, he says. because he doesn't want to be like those other people on disability.

he was out of work for three weeks with pneumonia, and now he's trying to make up the lost time by pulling 12 hour days in a fabrication shop. and i see how much he hates himself for not succeeding at that even once since he got back. despite still recovering from a three week illness! he thinks he should just bounce back good as new, and that his inability to do so is a personal failing!

and he talks a lot about money, he's very financially insecure. he's been working this hard all his life, working towards the promise of something he's now starting to realize is just as far out of his reach as it ever was, despite everything. he's likely never going to own a home like he wants to. he's likely never going to have a comfortable, modest retirement. he'll be lucky if he can keep working for the next three years.

and he blames all the wrong people for this, everyone who's in the same crab bucket as him, and i really don't think i have much of a shot at changing 50 years of ingrown, festering resentment and anger, but,

i can see where the crowbar would fit. i can see the leverage.

if i wanted to, if i was willing to put my back into involving myself in this guy's life and his health, i could turn that despair around to point at the people actually responsible for it. i could show him how everyone he despises for being "lazy" is just doing their best same as him, and maybe i could show him that the inability to work isn't the sin he thinks it is.

already i've got him thinking about some things! he was going on and on about how trump did the country a million favors, and i was all quiet and listening and then i pointed out that trump actually made a lot of places actively unsafe for me, a visibly queer person, to exist in. and he actually stopped and thought about that. he said he hadn't considered it that way before, that was a new perspective for him.

i don't know how much effect that'll have. i don't know how realistic it is to try to change the mind of a guy like that through a few conversations a week where it's mostly just him traumadumping on the first friendly ear he's had. but at the very least it's a good opportunity to see how the mind of someone like that works, and it's good practice for me in listening and nodding and then saying something that they'll actually listen to in a constructive way.

look. rhetoric that works leverages itself off beliefs that the LISTENER holds, not yours. like how americans believe that they’re in a democracy and they believe they believe in freedom. they believe that their country stands for democracy. you can use their beliefs in your argument even if you don’t share them.

you are operating within the bounds of their ignorance and building a bridge outward. you cannot unpack every single myth about the US and its geopolitical crimes in a conversation. what you can do is persuade someone that they’re looking at a civil rights issue by leveraging their existing understanding of civil rights issues.

unpacking all the bullshit they believe about civil rights movements is also a different and much longer project. you can’t tackle everything at once and the way that WE (online leftists) talk about issues relies on these understandings. just like. try for a second to remember what it was like before you knew a single goddamn thing about anything and you were 100% operating on the unthinking assumption that america flag equals freedom.

if they get far enough that they look at this rhetoric and think “SO MANY INACCURACIES!” GOOD! GOOD! that means they took more steps beyond the first, beyond the simplified rhetorical arguments that made them LOOK in the first place.

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it