#but all of a sudden it just made sense
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Is technopathy a rare ability?! Why in the world is Dex, a 13 year old, helping to work on a device for a councillor?!
#him working on the weapons made some slight sense#he’s probably one of the few peeves who’s mind wouldn’t break upon thinking about what those weapons would do#but this is just insane#did all the technopaths go on strike all of a sudden?#kate rereads lodestar
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Every time Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel has a glimpse of genuinely GOOD WRITING, I go insane. Both of these shows feel like edging to me, like they will tease me with these bangers and then leave me to dry EVERY DAMN TIME.
#everywhere it's all 'Blitzo and Stolas' character development' 'Stolitz is back baby' 'I love to see them so healthy'#boring. bland. blah.#I mean yeah it's TECHNICALLY ''character development'' but not really?#and it's not good either#their sudden healthy bs came so far out of left field and it makes literally no sense#their current dynamic is SO obviously only like it is because the plot needs it to be that way#there's no actual subtance and their characters haven't GROWN they just Magically Got Better#I DO really like Blitzo learning to really desire a family and working on actually using his ability to empathize#the lovey scenes with him and Stolas would have hit more if they were more clumsy or awkward#he's just... too perfect? which is just so surface level it feels like a cop-out at LEAST give him some paralles#like if he was copying the family they refused to kill? Cinema. if he was awkwardly copying Mox and Mills? Real Good.#suddenly pulling out this gorgeous Perfect Lover rizz? eh. next.#BUT let's talk about the LOOK that Blitzo gave Stolas when he said Octavia hates gim#the realization that Stolas not only gave up his life but the ONE THING that made him happy- and also the ONE THING Blitzo has wanted so#SO badly because he and Loona never really... got that sort of a father/daughter thing since he adopted her when she was almost an adult#the whole ''I love you. dad'' honestly felt out of character for Loona given how awfully she's been towards Blitzo this entire time#it felt so blatantly like an insert to make Stolas realize JUST how badly he fucked up#and he DID like he WON'T admit it but he's always treated Octavia and her happiness like a backburner#she's been simmering in her own feelings this whole time and he forgets about her again and again and again#if Vivian weren't just kind of awful at fleshing out characters and repeating the same storylines until things Magically Get Better#the fact that we as an audience know next to nothing about Octavia would be borderline genius level writing#showcasing just how effort little Stolas actually puts into his relationship with her that a narrative centered around him all but entirely#neglects his daughter and how she was right that she will get older and he will only know her name#because he just does not actually put in that effort (no matter how much he wants to or thinks he does)#but that opening wound isn't just about Stolas it really feels like it's about BLITZO#and I feel like this would be an INCREDIBLE aspect of his character to genuinely flesh out#as well as giving Octavia more actual interaction and interwoven character dynamics#like Blitzo has SEEN the damage that he is able to do with Verosika and Fizzarolli but he still doesn't /really/ understand his own damage#and I think this would be perfect to flesh him out more as well as perhaps FINALLY add some character nuance to the series to finely put:#yes Stolas is right for chasing his heart. but YES Octavia is right for being upset!!!
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tbf most people i’ve seen saying a year were thinking chris won’t be back until after the midseason hiatus
which might still happen and not necessarily turn out to be that big of a deal long-term!
#i just wish everyone would relax 😭 we don't have any control over what's ooc or not#eddie literally asked buck why was he baking all of a sudden the last ep for plot reasons even if it made zero sense#again. this is network tv they won't have chris hate eddie forever everything will be fine one day.#anonymous#a response#911
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Its so funny being someone who looks at the trending tab regularly, cause I can absolutely tell Tumblr still randomly suppresses political tags or anything they deem political
#not haha funny but yknow funny#i dont actually know for sure it's just an assumption but theres so many little things#inside job trending whenever USA politics does#but the top posts are all for the show when the real reason its trending is because of conspiracy theory posts (i assume)#whenever theres a sudden change in trending tags but none of the new tags have any identifiable reason for trending#ive occasionally seen palestine trending but its gone suddenly without actually shifting positions at all#theres more but those are the only ones off the top of my head rn#it makes me feel crazy tbh#cause the trending page always made sense#but since they implemented and then removed that weird 'tags we care about' thing there's been such a difference to it#idk maybe i am crazy
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So I’m rewatching and catching up on Doctor Who for the first time in like 6ish years so I can watch the new specials and like my favorite will always be Tennant, he was My Doctor blah blah but you know what, this rewatch reminded me how much I love 12, mainly his season with Bill.
Capaldi is such a great Doctor. He’s not always nice but he’s always kind and he loves so hard. He’s so funny and I love how he loves playing guitar and he has sonic sunglasses bc he’s just trying to have a good time, he may not be a kooky bow tie guy anymore but he’s still silly. Him and Bill are like best buds and I wish we’d had another season with them and even Nardole bc their relationship was just fun, there was no pre-destined or weird importance placed on her, she was just a normal person who loved learning and was kind and had good vibes. The best of humanity, the kind of person the Doctor takes along bc they remind him that people are important. Bill brought out the best in him and also GAY🦭 anyways his last words are so beautiful and I miss him
#also rip Clara I don’t have anything against her and but I truly think they brought out the ‘worst’ in each other#not like actually the worst but like it wasn’t great#that said I did cry at the last episode when we find out HE forgot her :( him and his guitar playing the song just gets me#and at the end of his run when he remembers who she is 🥺#see actually the second 12&clara season wasn’t too bad but the first one was just 🫠#like it just seemed so toxic?? and for what??#I did like the season finale with the cybermen and Danny protecting Clara but like their actual relationship was also toxic?? so much lying#that 2nd season is better w their relationship but that hybrid shit? didn’t make any sense?? it was just made to seem important#but it literally wasn’t at all 😭#I do wish 12 had gotten a few more episodes with river so it wouldn’t have been such a sudden return?#meh idk#anyway capaldi you’re literally a rockstar doctor <3#this is my first time seeing 13’s run too#I had to skip arachnids cause phobia but I just started the demons episode#I’m still trying to decide how I feel ab her but I love Ryan he’s so funny#I feel like she’s missing that rage that’s literally just below the surface of all the doctors#but I’ll keep watching to see if we get that later
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Hater shit incoming:
Yeah, Indigo Park is really cool, but it blew its load a bit too early by immediately killing off the cool stalker enemy from ch.1. The effect of the bird mimicing phrases is really neat, but you don't get to hear her do it much, especially because the warbling effect + loud af chase music drowns out what is being said, which sucks! Those voice lines are good!!
#em.txt#hey welcome to the bonus text where the hater stuff gets worse!! i promise I don't hate this game i am just. critic in the bad way#yeah i have more beef with the molly macaw chase. but first I'd like to say good on the dev for reusing the idea of the opila#from their banban reloaded. genuinely. the occasionally peaking bird that ducks behind corners is good#& it is used much better in indigo park especially because the animations are less jolting.#again back to the chase. I don't like. the ending. the blood is fine the dev mentioned he dislikes mascot horror that is afraid of blood#& wanted to set the tone immediately. i think this is a fair sentiment but the way the blood is done here#is honestly childish. the splurt is fine. the fucking AMOUNT coming from the head (especially how the texture distort looks)#is goofy as hell & tbh an easy fix is. move the big puddle of blood. from under the head. to behind the door#anyways the end of the chase is so sudden. the momentum just splats into a wall wiley Coyote style#& i appreciate the dissonance of the heartfelt talk & it's good but it's a bit soon ain't it?#not gonna address the dead ass bird?#i like what's being done i like this enemy the game looks fine. the animation of the lion getting scared is goofy#i think this can go somewhere good. i do not see how immediately killing this stalker enemy is going to do anything at all#i would have the same chase & just not kill the bird tbh#bc it makes the conversation with rambley make more sense#put the blood elsewhere. spread it out or have the player enter some silent hill ass room idfk#you can let the bird get injured but the breakneck speed of chase > bird dies > heartfelt talk > credit song is too much to me#you can clown on me if you want bc i am a hater#i like seeing a mascot horror made by a fan. i like seeing the disney park knowledge on display. i like the quiet lore.#okay i am not a fan of scripted chases in horror games. but putting it in this play structure is smart#having the bird like fly above you & cut you off if you're slow is good too#see i like the chase itself enough i just hate how it ends
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big big association with the color pink but you twist it around because you have your own definition of pink - the kind of pink that makes you look so cool and so rad and so badass (since pink is commonly associated with softness but you like to add more "intensity" to it), big emphasis on kira and lara!lucy au ☝️and you're pretty big on using two toned colors (could be the hair, could be the clothes) as long as there's two conflicting colors mushed together in one. also all your inserts are quite literally just YOU, but you add different flavors (you but in different fonts dare i say ☝️)
and in line with ships, i hope this doesn't sound odd but its like. your ships makes me think that all of your inserts are the embodiment of: "i can be your husband, your wife or secret third thing" SKSJSHSHHAJSJA /POS 😭😭😭 YOU'RE PRETTY VERSATILE IN THAT REGARD I LIKE OT A WHOLE BUNCH it gives out more room for so many cool ideas :]]]
THE WAY I HAD TO STEP BACK A BIT BC this made me tear up actually /POS
AUGHG I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY BC YEAH... you're so right on the money with what u said. Funfact which is probably obvious but ever since I settled on that two-tone jacket design when designing my sona, I have never been normal abt it ever HSKAHSJSH
IT JUST FEELS VERY ME and probably ties into what u said in the last part (WHICH I DON'T FIND ODD AT ALL, in fact, I'm REALLY flattered and happy abt it), bc why settle on one when I can be ALL?? /lh /pos
I can never really be Just One Thing (or that's my indecisiveness speaking) and it shows not only thru the two-toned jacket but also with my overall gender identity <3 and I do actually pride myself for that too so THANK YOU. I'm so glad you noticed <333
#ALSO THE WHOLE INSERT THING ABT HOW it's me but in different flavors has me smiling rlly hard /pos#there's always gotta be a very defining feature in my inserts that resemble my sona as well (like hairstyle or hair color)#otherwise if it was different- then that's just an oc and Not Me. the hairstyles can change but if the color changed then YEAH that's not m#/lh HAJAHDJAHDJDH#also. kinda unrelated but also related (this is gonna get kinda personal and deep so feel free to skip reading)#but before I settled on the two toned jacket design with my sona- I was actually going thru a really big identity crisis#I was never satisfied with how I drew or portrayed myself- and presenting myself was always a struggle#bc of the mindset “you have to be Only One Thing. otherwise ur fake” fucked me over for a really long time#I always presented myself differently depending on the person. and I always loved a lot of things that conflicted with each other#it made me question “which one is the real one? which one is me? what and who's the /true/ me?”#until I finally came to terms that all of it. all of it still me. one is not less than me than the other if that makes sense#and that Comforted me So Much bc it felt freeing and relieving. bc ppl will know me as one thing or the other#and wonder which is better or “true.” and I say all of it!! I am everything and nothing at the same time /pos#I hope that makes sense? SORRY THAT WAS SO SUDDEN. but it's important to me so... <:)#THANK U STILL FOR THE ASK and if you've gotten this far in reading. I appreciate it#💌 inbox!#🍀 jil!
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confession i actually really like calculus. i think it’s fun i’m just not very good at it. if i were learning it outside of an ap classroom and could spend more time understanding the concepts, i’d probably be okay. sometimes you just get the urge to solve an integral by hand yknow
#rhyn rambles#funny story my precalc teacher didn’t tell us the difference quotient was just a slope formula#so i had no idea what it was for for the entire year#i asked him four separate times to explain it and not once did it make sense#then day one of calc my teacher says ‘it’s a slope formula’ and all of sudden it made perfect sense#like come on it’s so easy. how do you mess that up
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Oh god I was going to put together a video of what I think is all of charles martinet's most amazing performances (in the mario franchise) and its really hitting me now how big of a part he played. Just thinking of gathering all of the mario and luigi performances overwhelmed me a little and then I realized there was also his Wario and Waluigi performances (WarioWare Gold was a major one) like jesus he really did do a lot for this franchise. Those four all have really distinct personalities from each other yet he voiced each of them so authentically and with so much energy, and he was just one man. It really did take a lot of talent
#ohhh god this hurts so much and its so sad but im just thinking to myself im pretty relieved I can say this while he's-#-still alive. you know? at least hes just retiring and its not something worse#aaauajuujhaujjaj i hope that made sense#was not expecting to wake up to this news man#im just thinking of the bowsers inside story lines when mario and luigi faint and the other screams out his name#luigis mansion 3 when luigi reached out and said 'mario...' at the beginning of the final floor#hmMMMMMMM#yeah this felt unexpected and super sudden (at least to me) but now in this day and moment#i mean it when i say that all i wish and hope now is that he's happy. i mean that from the bottom of my heart thats all i hope now#god bless lmao
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Trawling for fic is a time honored fandom experience, made beautifully easy by ao3. That said, even after nearly two decades I am not immune to the horrors of seeing my favorite characters written heinously.
#i was just reading what i thought was a really great fic#it was well written and engaging and beautifully in character for the kind of au it was#but then about halfway through the characterization just.... changed#all of a sudden everything was ooc and the dialogue made NO sense for the characters#canon-wise OR as they'd been developed for the au#it was the most bonkers thing i've seen for a long time#i don't have a text tag
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Are we not going to talk abt how jj’s retconned explanation for why she was gone in s7 did not make any sense to the point where Will said her working at the pentagon was better for them even tho that would’ve been the same time she was doing her back drop even though I’m willing to ignore it because I enjoyed it
#I’m not looking for an argument#dni jj stans#i do consider myself a jj fan but I’m just putting my thoughts out there and say that they script don’t make since#i have a theory on why her s9 plot happened#i have the feeling that ppl were talking about how she all the sudden because superprofiler without any prior experience#so they were like here she gained experience through her year off#even though not even a season ago will mentioned her actual job at the pentagon like it was an actual job she did#which made no sense if she wasn’t working the pentagon she would’ve been gone more then she was if she was working the bau#it don’t make sense#she kinda had prior experience mostly with marksmanship and she had been talking with the team on the plane in later szns before she ‘left’#criminal minds
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#do you ever get the feeling you are influencing people but like in subtext somehow?#like this is the second time just this year where like#i have been ranting and rambling about something in the tags of related posts on here#only to like a few days or weeks later start seeing posts with my 'talking points' show up on my dash#but like filtered from other parts of the internet where i don't go?#and involving such disparate topics and contexts to where i'm like: am i just somehow aggregating#the general direction things are going out if random tumblr posts and thin air via idk intuition?#because i swear these are not points i'd seen put forward elsewhere that i brought up as tags#this was stuff i was feeling ranty about and wanted to get off my chest#one was fandom related: i started yelling about getting jimin on the radio back in the spring#then his slbum hits and while the song releasing to radio only makes sense actually#the fandom push for it and the sudden renewed interest in guiding fans to request and push for radio play were ?????#and then this thing with the campaign about it's okay to lie about your vote#like that stuff obviously has to have been in the works for a while to get made and released#but i hadn't seen anything at all about it before a week or so ago and the tag rant on a random political post about#how people who say they're not voting for a reason are the same as people who don't vote out of laziness or not caring#which devolved into a ramble about just vote and say you didn't then if all that matters to you is performative image#because no one is going to see your vote no one will know how you voted#you can just lie#and now i keep seeing post after post about the campaign embracing this concept#and the outrage about *that* and it HAS to be confirmation bias but it really feels#like i whispered my tags into the ear of some staffer and they said yeah that's a good point#we should remind people they can vote however they really feel and then just say whatever#they think mskes them look good or will keep them safe because in the end only the vote matters#at the end of the day#weird weird feeling but probably just somehow sensing some ways the wind is about to change right?#the pricking of the thumbs#man anonymity really is a concept thst people are increasingly unfamiliar with if we have reassure people like this huh
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Me: I could just die about it
Also me: Ah that's gonna change what I circle on the scale for my group check in next week
#we did a quiz last week for looking into our core beliefs and that stuff made me real sad#negative sense of belonging negative sense of worth negative sense of security#bumble just gives me more anxiety (guess the negative sense of worth explains a lot)#it feels like nobody is responding to my messages even just people on discord#i guess like two people consistently do so thats good#i told my psych i want to try and socialize more while I'm on leave and he really strongly supported that#but then i want to do things and theres nobody there#maybe i was kidding myself when i said the issue was working night shift. cause now I'm around each day and nothing has changed#the therapist who leads the group said she likes hearing my voice cause ive been talking more and another guy said hes glad I'm there#i feel like i cant do things alone. but then i always end up with no one around to help#i dont know why I'm so sad all of a sudden. none of this stuff is new but this wave of sadness just crashed on me all at once tonight#sometimes i wish i wasnt ace. like maybe if i wasnt id be able to have more chance at connecting with people#but i dont think id want hookups and casual stuff regardless#i dont know#maybe i should just go back to the shitty site and do more bad things for myself#realistically i know it doesnt help to not try and message or talk to people. but it just hurts when it takes a while to hear back#or when i dont hear back at all#so in my brain its like whats the point. why message people. i wont hear back while i actually need to talk#just the constant mental battle i guess
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i don't like this guys
#this is sorta about the being confused about my identity thing#but this time i just don't feel valid#god why did i download tiktok#all this because one of my moots reposted something saying that what i say i am isn't a real thing#mfs when people have contradictory labels 😡😡😡😡#they reposted something about saying they supported it the other day#why do they all of a sudden not now#why isn't this the first time this person has made me upset ☹️☹️#this probably makes no sense but i have no one to talk to so
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it feels like every time I ask for help, I get reminded why I hate asking for help.
#It’s really not helpful….oh my god I made a horrible mistake place stop talking to me#“I really am just trying to help”#Thank you for telling me otherwise I would not have fucking noticed#They spout out about 50 different things I’ve already tried and didn’t work and at the end of it THEY get frustrated#And instead of doing what I would do witch is be like “wow I jsut felt a new type of empathy today”#All of a sudden my resilience and critical thinking skills to literally try and think of everything they said is now a moral failing#(Can’t be because I also get varying amounts of defensive but yk)#It would make a lot more sense if their problem with me was my aditude only you get what I mean
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