#but alas- just two hot ppl being hot

[horrorhick]

Poker Face (2023-)

S1E07; The Future of the Sport

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

“you can call me on my phone i’ll run to you, you won’t ever have to Sleep Alone”

“but if you want it you can have it, you can have me in full”

synopsis// the lines between platonic and romantic become even more blurred for you, if possible, when you realize your best friend truly would do anything for you.

pairing// maki zenin x gn!reader

word count// 1.8k

contents// ages arent specified but everyone is adults, angst if you squint maybe, ooc maki/soft maki, hurt/comfort?, mentions of nightmares

notes// YES THIS IS INSPIRED BY ANOTHER WATERPARKS SONG LMFAOOOO. i cannot be stopped but cmon its sleep alone!! sleep alone supremacy!! my fav!!! also also this was supposed to be wayyyy more light hearted n then it suddenly got kinda deep for a moment idk how that happened... anyways do ppl even read maki ff?

Nightmares were nothing new to you; you had them quite frequently, if not all the time, and your best friend had repeatedly told you to call her when they occurred, and she would be more than willing to come and comfort you. But how could you do that? You couldn't for two reasons.

The first being that your best friend was Maki, and she wasn't much of a touch person (or really a people person in general), which is all you wanted in those moments: to be held. and two, that your best friend was Maki. the girl you are quite literally in love with. Is it silly to be in love with the oh-so independent girl who demands to do things herself? Yes, very much so, and you know that considering you’re the exact opposite. Neither of which is a bad thing; it just makes things difficult— well it would if you two were dating, you think. 

Tonight was just like any other night: you got yourself comfy in bed, scrolled through your phone for a few minutes before texting a sweet little goodnight to Maki, who quickly replied back, wishing you sweet dreams; it was just like any other night, nightmares included. which is why you woke up in a cold sweat, practically panting; the only thing illuminating your room was the moon.

Once you had slightly calmed down, you sat up and grabbed your phone. You flinched away from the bright screen until your eyes could adjust, finally seeing that it was around two a.m. You sighed as you unlocked your phone and called Maki. You constantly refused her offer of coming over at times like this, but you always accepted her offer of calling; you’d take what you could get— which could be quite literally everything you want, but alas, you’re not aware of that yet.

Maki hums over the line. “Hey, you ok?”

You hum back. “nightmare.”

Maki clears her throat. “I’ll call you back in, like, ten minutes, maybe, ok?”

You go wide-eyed at her statement, and you can feel your heart drop a bit. Were you bothering her? “I'm sorry, are you busy?”

“Yeah, something like that, but i promise we’ll talk ok?" Maki says goodbye almost too eagerly before hanging up. 

You sigh and practically throw your phone back onto your side table as you flop back down in bed. You knew this day would come, where she’d get annoyed with how you called almost every night, with how you weren’t as self-sufficient as she was, and besides, what could she be doing at two in the morning? You don't know how long you lay there staring at your ceiling, feeling like you wanted the world to swallow you whole, but you know it's been awhile. You probably would have stayed like that until morning if it hadn't been for the knock on your front door bringing you back to your senses.

Your feet dragged as you begrudgingly made your way toward the door, opening it only to see Maki there with a slight tired smile on her face as she held a bag full of things you couldn't quite make out in one hand. Standing there in your pjs, you suddenly felt very vulnerable; yes, she's your best friend, but you didn't want her to see you like this, see you as a person? It would complicate things, complicate your feelings even further. Your face feels hot and blue as the two of you stand there in silence for a few moments. 

“Are you gonna let me in?” she asks flatly with a slight tilt of her head. 

You don't say anything; you just move out of the way and let her in, and she walks toward your room as if she'd been here before, which she hasn't.

“Maki, what are you doing here?” you ask in disbelief as she sits on your bed. 

“Well, I had a feeling you’d call, and I don't know; I thought it would be better for you if I was actually here, right?” She speaks so softly to you, which isn't much of a surprise; Maki was softer in general with you than she was with other people, and it always leaves you with butterflies, it always leaves you with a hope you know you shouldn’t entertain for your own sanity. 

“You could’ve told me,” you huff as you sit next to her on the bed. 

Maki laughs slightly. “Why, so you can tell me not to come? Yeah, right," she says jokingly.

You hum in agreement; she’s right; you'd never willingly let her come. “So what’s in the bag?”

Maki looks at the bag in her hand briefly before placing it on your side table. “Just some snacks; I wasn’t really sure what we’d do when I got here…”

You hum sleepily; you weren’t sleepy a few seconds ago, so why now? Why does just being around Maki soothe you like a lullaby? 

“Or we can lay down,“ she adds when she realizes how droopy your eyes are getting now. 

You don't try to protest her suggestions; you're too tired at this point, and your sole wish is just to lay down with her. You nod and get up to turn off the light you had turned on earlier when you heard the door. While you're up, Maki gets herself comfortable on the far side of the bed, and you quickly join her. The two of you lay there stiffly on your backs, and although you were sleepy and happy in her presence, it's not enough; you need to feel her, be held by her. 

“Maki?” you question meekly. 

“Yeah?” she hums.

“You can totally say no, but, um, do you think you could hold me?” You ask nervously as you fidget with your hands. 

Maki turns her head to look at you and doesn’t say anything; she just smiles sweetly at you while she lifts her arm, which you can see from your peripheral vision; she’s giving you access to lay on her. You look at her wide-eyed briefly before practically scrambling to get your head on her chest, your arm draping over her torso as she brings hers back down to rest on your back. You two lay still for a few moments before she starts to rub her hand up and down your back soothingly, an action she never thought would come naturally to her, yet here she is, and she has to say it might be the best feeling in the world—even better than proving her “family” wrong. 

"Y/N, how come you’ve never let me come over before?” She asks out of the blue, fingers still trailing up and down your back, which, along with the question, sends shivers down your spine that you hope she can’t feel. 

“I don’t know. I guess I’m embarrassed?” You murmur against her. 

“Embarrassed?” she asks, clearly confused. 

You groan slightly. “Haven’t you ever noticed how different we are?” 

Maki tilts her head down slightly to look at you, eyes and eyebrows narrowing at you in confusion. “what?” 

“You’re so self-sufficient, so independent, and I’m what? can’t go a night without a nightmare? need you there for me every night?” You respond back almost bitterly, disgusted by your own needs. 

maki scoffs. "Y/N, you might be more “independent” than I am.” 

“what? "How—I mean, look, you're here because of me!” you exclaim. 

“Did you ask me to be here?” she asks. 

you frown. “well no but-“ 

She cuts you off. “Have you ever asked me to be here?” 

“no…” you reply quietly, unaware of where she’s going with this. 

“exactly! You deal with all your shit by yourself, even when I’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m more than willing to be here for you. maybe you aren’t independent because you want to be, but you’re still independent,” she states matter-of-factly. 

“Isn’t being independent a good thing?” You ask quietly, your voice shaking slightly.

She shrugs slightly, as much as she can with you on top of her. “To an extent, but you can be independent and still let me be here for you; they aren’t mutually exclusive.”

You nuzzle your face into her and sigh. This is nice—nicer than you could’ve ever expected. Cuddling with Maki while she rubs her hand up and down your spine, comforting you in more ways than one, is something you could only dream about, but your dreams don’t even come close to this; the real thing is so much better. and suddenly you're clutching her shirt as words fly out of your mouth faster than you can keep up.

“Maki, I like you,” you murmur against her considering your face is practically shoved into her, almost like you're trying to become one with her, which to be honest, you kinda are.

She stifles a laugh. “i know.” 

You shake your head and reiterate, “No, I like you.” 

She hums and repeats, “I know.”

You blink a few times before you abruptly lift your head to look at her. “wait what?” 

She nods and smiles at you. “Oh yeah, I’ve known for a long time.” 

“How?” you exclaim. 

“You’re very obvious,” she replies nonchalantly. 

“And- And you’re okay with it?” You ask nervously, this was not how you were expecting your night to go at all. You were expecting to just call Maki for a little bit until you inevitably felt like you were bothering her and hung up, but not before she tells you she’s more than willing to go over, but you say no, and then you’d stare out your window until you eventually fell back asleep and maybe or maybe not get woken back up from another nightmare. That’s how you were expecting this night to go.

“Of course I’m okay with it; I like you too, moron,” she replies back playfully. 

You try to stop your mouth from dropping open, but to no avail; you’re absolutely shocked. You would have never guessed that she liked you back—okay, maybe you could considering how soft she was with you compared to everyone else, but that’s just how best friends are, right? Oh my god, are you seriously trying to convince yourself that she still sees you as just a friend when she just confessed otherwise? you’re insane.

Sometime while you were lost in thought, staring at Maki with your jaw dropped, she brought her free hand that wasn’t caressing your back up and shut your jaw for you, her hand on your face quickly bringing you back to earth.

You clear your throat and blink a few times before stumbling over your words, “So, uh, um, what now?” 

She hums and pretends to think for a moment. 

“Well, I think now you won’t ever have to sleep alone.” 

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

“If you tell anyone about me cuddling you, I’ll kill you, by the way,” she adds on not even a few moments later. 

You giggle before littering kisses on her face, speaking through the kisses, “Yeah, I know.” 

© LITTLEXBIMBO

[vermillionbun]

Heated desires

A little smth as an apology for my absence. Thank you for sticking around ^^

Warnings: SMUT!!!, so if you’re uncomfortable with such content scroll past(telling ppl under 18 to not read isn’t really gonna do much, so if you’re a minor you have been warned), finishing inside, gn!reader(I tried TvT), Xiao being hot as always

Without further ado, hope you enjoy~

<----------------------------------------------------------->

Walking up Wangshu Inn’s now fixed stairs, courtesy of the Traveler,you make your way up to head to your room with almond tofu packed in a wooden box. It has a removable lid and a small, slim compartment for a wooden spoon on the inside. Your last commision happened to be for Xiangling and she insisted on cooking for you. At first you refused, but the pyro wielder wouldn’t back down either. You two ended up compromising that she’ll cook for you if you cook for her and she allowed you to also cook some almond tofu for Xiao and pack it for home. You’ve made a mental note to return the box to Xiangling tomorrow.

As you step off of the last wooden slab you round left, a smiling Verr Goldet greeting you behind a desk. You wave and say a quick hello. You would stay and chat, but you are obviously tired. Something Verr notices and just waves you off with a smile, telling you to get some rest. It seems your exhaustion is more obvious than you thought.

Grabbing the wooden handle, you open the door to your designated room that you use often during your adventuring throughout Liyue. Quite comfortable to have somewhere to stay that’s close to a lot of ruins and other places that may have treasure to find. Setting the almond tofu down, you call out his name. “Xiao!”. A poof of smoke appears beside you. 

“I’ve told you before, you needn’t yell. All you have to do is whisper my name and I’ll come.” 

“Hello to you too Xiao” you say with a playful smile. “Although, you usually like it when I scream your name, do you not?” It amazes many, including you and him, how easily you can fluster Xiao. His cheeks and ears redden as he sputters incoherent words, making a miserable attempt to answer.

Chuckling, you tap the wooden box on the dresser beside you. “I made some almond tofu for you when I was back at Liyue Harbor”. The adeptus’s gaze follows the sound as he stares at the box, seemingly in thought, before a small smile appears on his face. 

“Thank you Y/N. However”- grabbing you by the waist, one of his arms circles around you, pulling you closer as the other rests on the side of your face “I think I’d like something sweeter right now.” His thumb glides over your lips before he dives in for a kiss. It was short and sweet, followed by another one, and another longer one. Slowly, you start backing up as Xiao starts pushing you onto the bed behind you, lips still interlock.

“As you said, I like to hear you scream, so let’s see how loud you’ll get.” The adeptus slides his hand from your jaw, down your neck, resting it at the collar of your shirt, lightly pulling. 

“Xiao…”- a small whimper of his name left your lips. 

“This silly clothing is a nuisance. Take it off.” Following his instructions you take off your clothes, leaving you in your underwear. “Tch, I thought I said take it off.” 

“Wh-what, Xiao, what’re you-” a surprised squeal rips from your throat. 

The anemo wielder bends down, face over your crotch. He bites down on the fabric, teeth digging into the soft material and ripping it off of you. “There, that’s better”. You whine at the cold air hitting in between your legs.

In an attempt to stop the cold you try to squeeze your legs, alas, Xiao doesn’t allow it. “Legs stay open, understood?”- he says in a deep commanding voice. Hungry eyes stare as a shiver runs down your spine and you squeak out a small yes. His hands grip your thighs, opening them further. “Let me have a taste,”- he says, almost whispering, before diving in. A loud moan leaves your throat as Xiao’s wet muscle twists and turns, shockwaves of pleasure going through your body. Squelching noises and whimpers go throughout the room as he groans, vibrations adding onto the intense feeling. You can feel a tightening feeling appearing at your abdomen as your body spasms, thighs shaking in Xiao’s grasp and hands grabbing fists of the blanket beneath you. 

“A-ah~ X-Xiao~~ I- Fuck-, I’M-!”. He could tell, you needn’t say it. You scream out as he gives a particularly harsh suck, sending you over the edge. Your cum fills Xiao’s mouth, a drop that’s a mix of it and spit rolling down his chin before he swallows and licks off the drop.

Your chest goes up and down as you heave, trying to catch your breath. “Hope you’re not too tired, because we’re far from done.” he whispers as his hand pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His lips place a kiss on your neck, he removes his pants and begins to slowly grind against you.

Opening the drawer of the nightstand, Xiao takes out a bottle of lube. Putting some on his fingers, he smears it along his shaft. Nearing his face close to your neck again, he lightly sucks on the skin. “Are you ready, Qingxin?”. You hum, nodding your head slightly. He pushes the tip into your hole, a small sigh leaving the both of you. Xiao slowly pushes in further, groaning at the tightness of your hole. Finally, with a quick snap of his hips, he sheathes in the rest of his cock, a gasp leaving your lips. “Everything alright?” 

“Y-Yeah, just getting used to the feeling.”- you pant out. No matter how many times you two have been intimate you’ll never fully get used to the feeling of his length going inside you.

After a minute or so, you tap Xiao on the shoulder, a sign you two agreed upon as a wordless permission. Slowly dragging his shaft out, he sets a gentle pace so as to not cause you discomfort. He may sound harsh often, but he doesn't wish any pain upon you, no matter the circumstances.

“F-faster, please.”- he gives you a small nod as he fastens the pace. If people didn’t hear you before, they definitely heard you now. Your throat is starting to go sore, but you can’t help moaning Xiao’s name as he rams inside you. Both of you could easily tell you’re getting close again, you’re shaking, limbs flailing everywhere, as you try to handle the pleasure attacking your body. It seems that he’s close too. Ragged breaths hit your collarbone as his hands grip your waist, trying to keep himself composed. 

“Hah, w-where shou-” 

“Inside.”- you cut him off. Your body is desperate to feel Xiao fill you up and who is he to deny you? A few more hard thrusts and both of you cum. Warm, thick liquid spilling inside you as he throws his head back, both of you moaning.

Panting, you move to get up, but Xiao traps you between his arms. “Mmm, no.”- he mumbles out. 

“Xiao, we have to wash ourselves-” 

“I said no. We can do that tomorrow.". He pulls you in closer to him, squeezing you tighter and you sigh. Seems like clean-up will have to wait.

[sweet-dining-car]

Call it a hot take but I feel like StEx was never really abt diversity and inclusion like how it first started out. It was just a musical abt trains and over the years there was more diversity in the actors. I feel like as of late (starting with the 2018 update) they were like "Dang, times have sure changed we gotta do something!" and thus the change in Dinah's storyline and changing Poppa to Momma and Bobo to Coco (and having a female Rocky). These changes were just that, changes, but it didn't feel that forced it was ok. Did some ppl feel a loss because there was change sure, but still, this was a good change to be more diverse (having female engines and freight). The only thing that felt forced was making Volta male. Overall not bad but not exactly needed cuz if it is for diversity we already had Purse (oh how I miss him!) or Krupp but ehh whatever (I just will NEVER forgive Napier for the wig design NEVER)

Now here is where the take begins to heat up. Having a male coach is good I think because like in the 2018 update, it shows that certain roles (engines, freight, coaches etc...) don't have gender. Having more engines that are female is also good but like idk who they are like umm???? Are they Nationals now???? But anyway. Female Greaseball feels forced to me like you passed up having female Electra (to me that is such a CLEAR choice) that can literality be played by a man or a woman (I mean vocally since there is an official recording from the B'way concept) but we were ROBBED of that. Female Greaseball feels like forced diversity to me and I feel like forced diversity is just not helpful at all. Like if they up and said "All major characters are now going to be played by black actors!!!" Um no, that is NOT diversity (just giving an example that is more relevant to me).

I just wish they had done something like had four Rockies (bring back pink Rocky!!!) and had two male and two female or had female Electra or even have Electra be a role that is covered by both a man or a woman. This is just the hill I choose to die on because I feel really robbed here. Alas, we just gotta see how this plays out but if they make anymore "tweeks" like having Pearl and Rusty just be friends or some crap I will lose it. No issue with trains just being friends but come on this is a romance and they are the main characters, let them have their moment

[theinfinitedivides]

this is so random but i would love to hear your opinion on mydramalist as a fellow asian drama lover. because it’s obviously well known as a reliable wiki of sorts in dramaland but i beg to differ. (the only plus i feel being the summary and cast list for info)

i mean, i’ve not seen a single comsec w more than two brain cells as a whole? there’s always complaints about female leads rooted from misogyny, they are never happy about story progression, and i just find so many of them kinda dumb sorry lol. like zero media literacy to be found, insufferable arguments, etc. the star ratings are rly just given to popular dramas w high profile actors too.

and i personally find it disheartening that so many ppl end up referring to mdl when considering dramas because so many gems are then lost and not given appreciation.

anon. anon anon anon if you know the way i sat straight the f*ck up when i saw the notification and then read through this ask bc yes. yes to everything here that is exactly it. almost three fourths of what i've watched this year was either 1. not received well by the general MDL crowd (Moon in the Day. where is the taste brethren to not like MITD and not even for reasons that actually make sense), 2. received well but had a good chunk of people bitching in the comment section, or 3. received well but had the main point of the show (and its relevant characterization) go over their heads. (The Worst of Evil aka TWOE comment section, i am f*cking looking at you. i can count on one hand the number of people who understood what that show was supposed to be about) the one fourth that managed to escape was bc the toxicity did not reach the comment section and everyone was pretty f*cking civil. alas if only it could be like that all of the time

case in point for the ratings example, since we've already briefly tackled the lack of media literacy—j-dramas on MDL are notoriously rated much, much lower than either k- or c-dramas. half of the time that's bc there are less users watching (and rating) them therefore the average is lower but the other half it's bc people simply do not understand good media when they see it. don't get me wrong there's some freaky ass sh*t in the j-drama world that i would not touch with a Grinch level pole but to see MDLers out here talking about how slow j-dramas are and that nothing's happening. have you considered that you are either watching the wrong genre or you shouldn't be watching j-dramas in the first place bc their entire setup and general narrative framing arcs are not your style. have you even thought about that for six seconds or are you too busy expecting it to read like a typical tropey rom-com k-drama with your trending oppas. (no hate on my tropey rom-coms with [most of] said oppas, i need them when i don't want to think i just want to see sh*t on my screen and scream about hot people and the Hand Umbrellas in the Rain and the Back Hold when the male lead catches the female lead before she falls and you have the fifteen second focus on their faces just looking at each other)

and the misogyny. oh God do not get me started on the dichotomy that was the Cult, as we affectionatly called ourselves, on the feeds while THEE sageuk of the year My Dearest was airing (beloved show [that i still need to finish. JangChae i'm sorry ily life hates me like the mf it is 😭], beloved commentary on the feeds. they saw the vision on the feeds) vs the sh*tshow that was the landmine field of the comment section (the takes i saw on Gil Chae, Eun Ae AND Ryang Eum respectively.......... the misogyny wasn't enough we had to add the homophobia into the mix. buy one get one free deal fr fr). you mad man. that sh*t was insane there was a point i banned myself from scrolling farther than the cast section until the show finished airing. i kid you not on average they didn't have even half a braincell. maybe a quarter of a quarter of one. f*cked up just say you are not decent people and go

this is not to say that all of MDL is like this. i have gotten tuned into absolute masterpieces of content (and have tuned others, amen) bc of a comment comparing a show i'm watching to another one or a review being posted in the feeds about a film with less than 500 people interested. i have reconsidered my choice to not watch something after having spirited discussions in private messages discussing the pros and cons of the premise and whether they managed to get it done without f*cking sh*t up. i still contribute semi-regularly by adding relatively unknown actors and crew members to the database so they can get the credit due them. if you know where to look, you can get some good sh*t out of that place. problem is most users who are new to both the site and East/Southeast Asian cinema as a whole don't know where to look, and the cycle continues, and the ratings continue to be skewed/bloated and no one pays attention to the plot, if there even is any to pay attention to.

tl;dr: begging people to not let MDL be the be all end all for their drama recs a la 'well MDL doesn't like it so i won't watch it'. babe we have said MDLers complaining about how the ratings on Viki are too high but in my entire time watching dramas i've found that in the past two to three years the Viki ratings are making more sense than the MDL ones. sit with that for a sec. when you're done branch out and see the world (literally and cinematically), i promise you will be a better person for it

[eldragon-x]

bill nye the cipher guy. from the gravity falls. for the ask game

the scrunkly. thank u ray.

First impression I saw that weird jokester creature with an eerie forboding aura for the first time at age 11 in his debut episode and knew right away he was literally one of the best characters created.

Impression now I have nostalgic attachment to him but also just genuine appreciation. He sticks to me like a burdock. Funfact: As a kid I actually only watched the first two eps of s2 and he specifically was part of the reason I remembered + caught up + got back into the show later not too long before the finale aired.

Favorite moment There's defenetly more impactful ones, but one that I just enjoy is him teasing Ford and playing piano + singing. He's just a silly guy your honor (literally causing the apocalypse). It's also neat because this is a scene from the finale and We'll Meet Again is, in the context of GF, associated with the hints about Bill not being dead for good.

Idea for a story If only I had solid ideas and more confidence in my writing and dedication to write multi-chapter fics I'd write out my own interpretation of Bill's backstory. But alas,

Unpopular opinion Idk if this is still a hot take in the year of 2023 but it's kinda. annoying how people insists that it's canon that Bill is a one-dimensional character who cannot have a shred of a sympathetic trait or any chance of a redemption when the Axolotl Poem is like:

Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy a pure evil villain who's simply entertaining (Jack Horner of Puss in Boots fame literally pokes fun of villains with tragic backstories and it's great), but there is canonically More to Bill and it's so interesting but never overshadows how horrid he is. If you ask me, I think you'd have to drag him kicking and screaming towards self-improvement but fact is that he's getting another chance at life (with the expectation to make up for his atrocities) and we can only imagine how that plays out. And I don't think this is in an ominous way because the arcs of the protagonists are finished and God knows they put up enough with his shit lol.

I also want to mention here that when I rewatched the show recently I was honestly worried he'd just be boring to me because a funny but flat (hehe) character will probably only hold my attention for so long but then I remembered The Agonies and was like ah i see. i'm not getting rid of him.

Favorite relationship His ass has not had a genuine relationship with anyone in eons but I like when ppl portray him and Pyronica as besties. Girlboss solidarity.

Oh Also I want to know his relation with the Axolotl so bad because they're implied to be like. the opposite good/creative force to his evil/destruction in the multiverse and yet they are the one who revives him in the first place for reasons we can only guess.

Favorite headcanon I can't think of anything else so here's literally just a random hc from me: His eyesight sucks because he starts squinting in that one scene in Dreamscaperers while trying to read something + the irony of an omniscient being having shit eyesight is amusing to me + I have poor eyesight and love projecting. Get a monocle king.

[sl33pyperson]

finally we have reached moon knight in 2000s! alas i have so many screenshots to go thru until we start

moon knight was made to live in watercolour

i have no idea where i started or ended with the previous mk post oh fuck

its been a while so ive also forgotten my thoughts

just, ouhghhhhh look at that man

TRUNCHEON TRUNCHEON TRUNCHEON also like. ok yeah hes saying it outloud for the audiences sake, but having mk be SIMPLE with his weapons is just. so nice after “random bullshit go”

GENAAAAAAA CROWLEEEYYYYYYYYY THE MOUSTASSSSHHHEEEEEEEE

sobbing

almost feels like im dead - that one eaaaarrrlyyyyyy panel of him being like “i just feel like a ghost in a body” monech no one is doing it like you. love this ghost

of course ud bring back the people who already know ur deal hiiii samuels, steven i hope u are paying both of them very well

i am not smart enough to understand like. the deep complexities behind these two relationship, but gods i love em

SCREAMING SHOUTING OMG HI FLIINTTTT i didnt realise how much i missed the cast…… like what the fuck were they doing in marc spector moon knight. saw someone be like “that series just show how much steven actually does” and like yeah marc has no idea how to run a business and no idea how to stay connected to ppl

bushman SCARED of someone. fucking AMAZING. put in the villain mk is most scared? horrified? traumatised? by and show him weak <3333 yeahahhhhh

i hate jake getting the kids involved every time like i want them to be safe :( but also jack saying hi is sooooooooooo sweet

hes just so cute

just fun

“haunted by the deeds of a dead man” thanks marc!

something about this panel is just, mwah

UR AN IDIOT I STILL HATE THIS UVE GOTTEN GENA IN TROUBLE ONCE PLEAAASSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“wheres my fucking money dracula”

if people are going to keep saying mk is batman, at the very least give him a joker. none of his main villains r just funny little guys. it doesnt match mk tone at ALL but it would be funny

i have forgotten what “the company” is, is that the ppl who hired mk to kill mr. jack werewolf?? fuck if i know

“jakes mustache” lol cute

marlene is CONSTANTLY scared of loosing steven to ANYTHING and as much as i hate jealousy arcs i wish her fears were…. more developed? but i think that always ends up with her leaving him bc being a part of mk just wrecks her when she thinks about it. alas

this kinda tulpa is more of a physical one but just imagine if they had a marlene in their head too. crowded

i love comics for stupid shit like this. welp aliens and moth man and nessie MIGHTbe real but we can draw mk with lil alien guys and call it canon

holy shit i need to get ready for school hold up its speed run time. anyway i love this ship design

���maybe we should get into email” is just a great line

mk came into this comic to stand of wolfies head the. get the shot beaten outta him. kinda hot

speedrun

FUCK IMAGE LIMIT

[haikyuu-sickfics]

Hello!If your doing requests can you make a very sick Kunimi with a stomach bug? And Oikawa and iwasumi find out… Hope your well! Dont do this if you dont want to!

(Its sad how much ppl dont write about kunimi)

cont.Hey I'm that anon that asked you for a kunimi sickfic and I forgot to add that ,, outside it was raining very heavily and it wasnt safe to go out so they had to stay in the gym for 1 hour .. Vomit Warning! Akira should've taken the ominous swirling that morning- both in the grey clouds and his stomach- as a sign.

But alas, he did not.

Instead he ignored both bad omens, walking to school as usual and attending all classes before changing clothes in the gym and half-assing practice.

The coaches paid him no mind. They were- begrudgingly- used to Akira underperforming in practice, and thus didn't pay any mind to the players sloppy movements.

Tooru and Hajime though, were convinced that something was wrong with their underclassman.  They conspired with eachother in hushed tones, pointing out his slight limp and how his arms always remained hovered over his midsection.  Concerned, Tooru tried to call Akira out to let him rest a bit.  However, this only served to anger the coach who forced Akira to push himself harder, saying he'll need to earn a break.

In conclusion, practice was brutal.  In the locker room Tooru attempted to confront Akira, but the latter just shrugged and ducked away, not wanting to admit a thing.

All Tooru could do was hope Akira was stable enough for the walk home.

The team made their way to the exit, most of them in partners chatting away.  The first to reach the door and attempt to push it open was Issei.

"I think it's locked," he commented out loud after forcing his whole body weight onto the door.

Sadayuki made his way over to inspect the door, "it shouldn't be, I have the only key for this door."

With the combined body weights, the door cracked open, only to be slammed shut once more as a gust of wind pressed back with an even stronger force.

The coach stepped away and scratched his head before pulling out his phone and tapping through it for a minte.

"Well even if it would open I don't think I could let you guys go home," he looked up from the device in his hand, "'S too dangerous.  The forecast says it's gonna let up in an hour or two, so just sit tight till then."

Akira could feel his heart drop into his roiling gut as the team murmered amongst themselves before walking to claim various areas in the gym to sit and talk.  Akira moved too, intentionally avoiding Yuutarou's line of vision.

And so here he was, alone, miserable, sitting balled up in the corner of the gym waiting for the raging storm on the other side of the wall and inside of him to let up enough for him to walk home.

Tooru was only half interested in whatever his fellow third years were saying, casting constant glances towards Akira's corner nest.  Every time he did something abnormal, i.e rub his eyes, run his fingers through his hair, clench his fists, bring his hand up to his mouth, Tooru tapped Hajime's shoulder.

Eventully Issei grew tired of this.

"Just go already, he probably needs someone and it's not like you're listening," Issei urged, nodding over to the corner.

Tooru nodded sheepishly, breifly apologizing for his rude manner before standing up and pulling Hajime over to the corner.

"Are you alright?" Tooru questioned, sitting down and getting comfortable before Akira had a chance to protest.

The very obviously not-alright boy weighed his options.  A, tell the truth and get babied or B, lie, get called out, then get babied.  It was a lose-lose situation, so Akira just shrugged.

Tooru pouted, placing a hand on Akira's back.  Hajime took note of how Akira's eyes furrowed every time someone yelped or laughed a bit too loud.

"Let's go to the locker room, it'll be calmer" Hajime offered, extending his hand for Akira to take.

His shoulders shrugged once more, the rest of him not making any move to do anything alone but also not resisting when his upperclassmen helped him to his feet.

To make the walk across the gym less awkward, Tooru tried to stir up small talk.

"So, you guys would never guess what happened this morning," he began, supporting Akira's left side, "I was gonna fry an egg for my sister, right, but when I cracked the egg the yolk was all black and red and goey, but it was already on the pan so then it started burning- like IMMEDIATELY- and this awful, I mean awful smell came out!  It was like moldy cheese stuffed inside of roadkill, I'm telling you it was bad, and-"

"Oikawa," Hajime warned, glancing over Akira's head wearily.

"No no no, but I'm telling you, like I swear it was like someone threw up in a pot, boiled it, then froze it and defrosted it in their dirty laundry."

Akira lurched, pulling himself out of Tooru and Hajime's grasp in favor of bracing himself against the floor.

"Shit," Hajime cursed, scooping up Akira before anyone noticed what was going on.

The ace speed walked to the locker room, Tooru on his heels.

Akira gagged over his chest, his nausea at a peak thanks to Tooru's cursedly detailed description.

"Hang on, hang on, hang on, we're almost there," Hajime repeated, weaving through the locker room to find the adjacent bathroom stalls.

He placed Akira on the floor in front of the first toilet, just in time it seemed as Akira gave one more noisy retch before coughing up a mouthful of his stomach contents.

"It's ok, get it out," Hajime comforted as Akira trembled in an attempt to suppress tears and his stomach, "seriously Shittykawa?  Was that really the only thing you could think of talking about?"

Tooru rubbed at his arm, awkwardly standing in the corner, "It's the first thing that came to mind!"

"Just.  Could you go get paper towels and his water bottle or something."

Desperate to be useful, Tooru quickly left to find the mentioned items.

Meanwhile, Akira was still fighting a losing battle with his stomach.  He refused to let anything more than that lone mouthful out, instead allowing his face to turn red in strain and his body to curl in to itself.

"Hey hey hey, you need to breath," Hajime murmured, using his hands to straighten Akira's posture up and back over the porcelain bowl.

Akira sniffed in hesitantly before breathing out through his mouth.

"See, there you got it, in... and out," Hajime comforted.

"In... and out," Akira repeated, his voice shaky.

They sat there for about 10 seconds, just breathing until Akira's stomach gave an incredibly strong lurch, forcing a thick wave out before he even realized what was going on.

He coughed through tears, spitting as much as possible to rid his mouth of the horrid taste.

"It's okay, you got it," Hajime rubbed Akira's back, concern swimming laps in his irises.

Finally, Tooru returned.

"Think you can handle some water?" Hajime asked while nodding his thanks to Tooru.

Akira shrugged, wiping his mouth with one of the napkins.

Tooru reached over the both of them to flush the toilet.

"Let's try it, okay?"

Akira nodded, bringing the bottle up to his lips, rinsing his mouth before taking a few cautious sips.  The water went down fine, his stomach seemingly done for the time being.

Closing his eyes, he leaned back, desperate for rest and support.  Tooru sat down behind him, bringing his head to a rest on his lap, brushing his fringe back to check for a fever.

Frowning, Tooru whispered, "I think he's sick, he feels really hot."

"No shit, are you a doctor?" Hajime retorted in the same volume.

Tooru glared as if to say 'now is not the time.'

"Well what do we do?" Tooru asked, Akira's eyelids twitching in his sleep, "we can't just take him home, and I don't the gym is the best place for him right now."

"You heard coach, we've got an hour or two.  We can take care of him in that time, How hard can possibly it be?"

Akira tilted his head to the side, coughing up a small amount of bile to illustrate just how hard it can possibly be.

"You're buying me new pants."

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[ughgclden]

a third one??

i’ve got a pretty relaxed day today, so coming and going with responses is easier, downtime more conducive to spending 10/15 minutes writing you another letter, and i apologise in advance for the length of this one

in regards to my friend, she is really sweet, but we seem to have found ourselves in that dynamic when i never know if she’s being gay (platonic) or being Gay (romantic) and i’m already fairly emotionally stunted. house and i are alike on that front /hj

it was nice to be hugged like that, greeted like that, though, a reminder that it’s possible there are some people who do look for me in crowded rooms, even if it’s more likely than not that i’m not there. (incidentally, consider this and every other letter my way of hugging you)

i think if i had to teach mainly basics i would struggle, since i tend to go quickly and get excited, sometimes forgetting brains work differently than mine when it comes to retaining and learning information. i can see your point about the emotional support teacher though, i think there would be a… certain demographic that would be drawn to me, if you catch my drift /hj

i had an english teacher like that, she once gave me extra points on an essay for referencing dead poets society, and even though i don’t have her anymore, i still put her down as a reference, and email her from time to time anyway, she helped me a ton.

i think bookstore bee would be lovely, and it reminds me of aziraphale, which fits with you quite well. plus the best bookshops always have the pretty ladies behind the counters.

as for the other thing, i don’t want to minimise it by saying “it’s okay,” although that is my first impulse, mainly because objectively, it’s not, and because i know if someone said anything like that to someone i cared about i would. definitely get myself into trouble dealing with the bastard with the audacity to hurt my friends. that and i have the same anger for people like that, with the caveat that they can get away with directing it to me. truthfully, i’m used to it, which isn’t ideal, i admit. growing up, i went to a. forced integrated school, bringing in kids from other districts to raise test scores, and as most things turn out to be, the bussed in “smart” kids were mainly white, and the kids who originally lived in the neighbourhood were all hispanic. so naturally, as a hispanic kid from a different district in the gifted program, both sides hated me. i’ve got more than ample experience and that’s what makes it terrible. but i digress

the highs always comes with the lows, but in the words of ben platt, “when you’re high, i’ll take the lows, you can ebb and i can flow,” and i’ll be here to complement you in any way i can for as long as you’ll let me do so.

presenting is definitely scary, i recently had a debate kid ask me, “what’s the point of speaking if you’re not proving anyone wrong?” when i said i wasn’t in debate, but in speech, the sister program. the truth is, the point is telling your truth, even through other peoples’ words. sometimes we can’t find the words, but have no problem finding the memories that make pieces impactful, and true.

i bet in knitted jumpers with a skirt and docs you look lovely, and like someone remus lupin would be good friends with. i gravitate somewhere between remus and sirius, the two gay sides of me constantly battling that one out, so i end up with some… interesting outfits. cruella de ville is a goal, quite honestly, although i suppose technically shes classified as a villain, but then again, i’m a mentally unwell unstraight individual, so villains hot.

bee, if there’s anything i strive to do, it’s make you feel important, because you are, at the very very least, to me. and thats not silly, because believe me the sentiment is shared, thank you for spending time on me, love. i cant say it enough.

you are important, to reiterate, you are good, and kind, and the world could use more people like you. i only hope those lucky enough to experience your physical presence are sensible enough to know what a privilege they have in knowing you.

all of my love, bee, and a million wishes for a good day, good night, sweet dreams, and restful sleep.

until we meet again,

(likely tomorrow)

yours,

✨

please never apologise for the length of these, star. i'd read a whole novel of anything you say

it should me apologising for how terribly late my response is - i'm never much good at writing when i'm tired, or doing anything when i'm tired really. i'm one of those people who completely shuts down, and i wasn't going to torture you with my drowsy ramblings. im however writing this now with a fresh cup of coffee, so let's hope that helps

not knowing the distinction between gay and Gay is the worst; i can sympathise slightly on that front. when i was still figuring shit out i never knew if i just really loved my friend or really Loved my friend - it was all platonic, i know that now, but it was certainly a time. i think i'd always find myself searching for you in a crowded room - you have the sort of energy that draws people to you

you'd certainly draw in that certain demographic, i know it. although i think being the lgbt kids support teacher would be the largest honour bestowed onto a person, and no one else would suit that more perfectly than you. that's so sweet oh my god - i'm not too sure if my teacher had ever watched it, as sadly she never referenced it :( but she was very much a keating for me

i'm glad you know it's certainly not okay and i'm so fucking sorry that there's some ignorant assholes out there who think their stupid close-minded ideas and thoughts are important and need to be voiced, and they're justified in saying that shit. i truly hope things aren't as bad as they once were and if i could, i'd hurt anyone who's ever said that stuff to you (i can't fight, but i'd give it my best shot)

i totally agree with you- not everything has to be to prove a point, or make someone see something the way you do. sometimes it's just to communicate, to tell tales of love and beauty, to tell your own stories and thoughts. sometimes it's nice to talk just for the sake of it.

i think a mix of remus and sirius is wonderful - i aspire to have the sort of energy that sirius black gives off but alas, i'm more of a remus (or even a peter.. but we don't talk about that..) and yes villains are SO HOT OH MY GOD!!! yes they are bad ppl but they are hot and sexy so they can do as they please <3

we could go back and forth about this all day - but thank you lovely. not only do these make me feel important and loved, but they also let me talk about the smaller things, the little things that sometimes seem irrelevant because the world spins a little too fast to focus on the mundane. but even with you, the mundane is something spectacular.

have a lovely day, i hope it's filled with little bits of magic and wonder and joy. all my love star <33

[zitkaplushie]

nightwing secret files liveblog:

this is gonna be a long one so it’s under a cut!

taking wing-

is that jason??

i like this 'a christmas carol' type exposition i'm ngl

i'm not sure if 'jason''s dismissal of the circus is dixon using an unreliable narrator, or if dixon actually believes that

god i hate this art so much

how dare u insult the teen titans in any way 😤 i like the name

also titans cameo!!

more awful jason characterisation (pls dixon just stay 8732894738 feet away from jason)

"without robin i have no family" i guess the titans are just chopped liver huh

"i always thought that one day i'd be batman" nope nope nope nope you have 0 understanding of dick's character if that's what you think mr dixon

i love clark having a part in dick becoming nightwing - i adore it - but the way dixon retcons the importance of the titans, and especially kory, in dick becoming nightwing rubs me the complete wrong way. i'm choosing to read this as a between the scenes moment, but i 100% dixon intended this to replace the titans' importance. and the way ppl just swallow it up w/o thinking about the reasons behind why dixon would want to erase the titans - and kory - pisses me off lmao

"i didn't mean to stay so long [with the titans]" *eternal screaming* he really wants to undermine the titans at every possible turn wow

at least the next page acknowledges the importance of kory in dick's life, but right afterwards we have "lmao she must've liked your costume. all the girls did. you're a chick magnet" (paraphrased) and i'm just back to sighing

also hi i'm mad at the framing of babs being the endgame bc of course they'd do that. and also at kory being shorter than dick. thanks! i hate it! i'm willing to bet that dixon asked for that specifically.

"this is where i came in" i'm confused at this part but tbh i don't care enough to think abt it any more

i'm also ughhhh at the way they're trying to give bludhaven importance. i don't care, i don't like it, he should've never moved there

ok i do really like that last page

the fact files things are good enough, i love the art for the haly's circus one! the pt barnum ref is 😬 though (ik ik it's the 90s but fjskdh why)

lost pages: teen titans-

ok so, i don't like devin grayson. i don't like her writing at all, i don't think she gets the characters at all, and hot take: if you dislike a character who's super important part of dick's life, and helped him come into his own and be who he is, you shouldn't be writing that character. (i'm talking about kory here, but tbh if you dislike any of the characters who dick interacts with frequently and are a huge part of his life - especially his love interests, and his family - you shouldn't be writing dick.) so i'm not going into this story with high hopes. however i've seen ppl talk about this story as being really good so i hope i'll like it too

you can tell she mostly cares about the fab five, which wouldn't be a problem if she treated the ntt characters better but alas ://

kory and vic both say 1 thing the entire page lmao

ALSO KORY NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT IS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE

i loooove the parallel between dick grasping wally's hand and young!dick holding his dad's hand 🥺🥺🥺🥺

vic legit says one thing the entire story lmaoooooooo 🙃🙃🙃

i love garth and roy being brought to the tower 🥺

this is def some of grayson's better work, but it suffers from the same thing all of her stories do. she doesn't fully understand all the characters. if one character is off it affects the whole story. a lot of her stories have good ideas and poor execution, and this one definitely doesn't have awful execution but there's still something missing and as someone who loves the titans it's just sad. i get why people like this story - it made me tear up at the end ngl - but the rest of the titans are just as important as dick and it feels like the writer doesn't understand that. (i get this is a dick comic but it's still a titans story.) (it does however make me want to write a fic expanding upon this moment and the aftermath bc the idea of the titans all coming together to cheer dick up is so goooooood. are they gonna have a party celebrating dick's parent's lives? are they gonna eat junk food and watch a comfort movie? are they gonna just sit and talk?? the possibilities are endless!!)

the art is gorgeous as all of jimenez' art is, i love his style so freaking much!!

the next page is of the bludhaven supporting cast and all it does is remind me how much i do not care abt them. i think the only one i actually like is clancy, the others are expendable and forgettable. (i do love clancy a lot though, i wish she'd been written by more people than just dixon). though, i usually love guice's art, i think i actually prefer mcdaniel's take on clancy??? which is 100% a first for me.

i like seeing the set up to dick's apartment, bc i'm a sucker for layouts and maps. i wish this comic was way better written bc the concept of dick living in an apartment building and interacting with his neighbours is one i really like, esp in superhero comics. but again i have to say, alas.

a day in the life of nite-wing/hangin'-with tad:

painful... just painful...

i physically couldn't care less about this if you paid me

the next page is tad's file and i am Not Reading That. nope nope nope. and also fuck you.

next is a map of bludhaven, and like i said, i'm a sucker for maps.

the page after that is brutale's file and again i just do not care. the art is by damion scott who i really like, but the design looks like knock off scarecrow so

the next pages are files for double dare, lady vidc, shrike and blockbuster and i'm skipping them all bc i give negative fucks

next is a spread of what i assume is dick's cork-board? it looks kinda interesting but the writing is hard to make out and i don't care enough to try to decipher it

next is torque's files and same same, idc idc

nightwing's romances/orange you glad i didn't say banana?:

ok so y'all know i hate dickbabs. i hate everything about how it was built on the foundation of tearing down kory and dickkory and i'm a kory fan first and foremost so i hate this whole situation. so i'm already predisposed to disliking anything that talks about how babs is dick's true love, and talks down any of his other love interests. i come into this with an admitted bias. i'd try to be charitable but i don't see why i should when no one involved in the writing of dickbabs is charitable towards my faves so 🤷

i love love love stelfreeze's art! he's drawn babs in something else i read and i loved it then and i love it here!

i adore dick and babs' friendship, so the beginning is really sweet and cute. i also love the concept of baby!dickie being obsessed with watermelons and wanting to eat them forever

dewey decimal system!!! librarian babs reference!! fdjkh she's such a nerd i love it

babs trying to talk about romance and dick's like 'lol nah what abt fighting' lmao

i Do Not like babs hitting dick while talking abt 'i was segueing into talking about romance, hint hint'

this is romance? dick giving exactly 0 fucks?

why are these writers obsessed with hinting at dick and donna??? like first dixon and now grayson??? please stop!!!! i do love how he says he loves her bc 🥺🥺🥺 i love them

ur not being slick having babs call donna 'donna' and kory 'starfire', i see you grayson. i see ur hate for kory.

and reducing kory to just her body, and dick's sexual attraction to her boils my blood

i'm choosing to interpret babs's face in that panel as her being attracted to kory too

i do like that dick talks about being in love with kory, and thinking about still being with her. a) i'll take those crumbs, and b) thats how i see dick's relationship to love as being (though devin views him as kinda flighty and unfaithful so idk how we're agreeing on this lmao)

pls stop talking shit abt huntress devin, ur the one who made dick/hel a thing

since devin loves her brudick subtext, i'm side-eyeing the mention of bruce there

also why are we hinting at cass pls stop

babs being jealous and petty pls stop

the ending was smooth i have to admit it. if it was any other ship i'd probs love it but as it is, i'm tired of everyone else being downplayed in favour of the ~babs is dick's true loooooveee, it's always been herrrrr, from the beginningggggg~

i don't mind babs being dick's first crush though, in fact that's my hc for him because hello?? who wouldn't have a crush on babs??

thank you mr stelfreeze for accurately portraying babs' bitchface bc she's being a petty bitch here (and i love her but lmaooo i hate this whole thing)

next is the files on the bludhaven pd and i do not caaaare

then there's a timeline, but i don't care about any timeline that dixon writes. i'm petty though so i'm gonna read it and talk abt why i don't like the retcons.

i hate the dickbabs reference in YEAR FUCKING 3 jfc. pls stop with the retcons.

also lmao the difference between the way dick's canon relationship from that time is described in the shittiest way possible (though reluctant at first, dick begins a long and tumultuous romance with teammate starfire.) and how he wrote dick and babs' relationship (robin first teams with ... barbara in her guise as batgirl. the two will pair time and again over the course of their careers and develop a burgeoning affection for one another) this was at a time when they weren't even remotely interested in each other!!! there was no affections there dixon! no matter how much you wish it to be true!! and again the contrast with 'starfire' and 'barbara'! like it's dehumanising and i hate it.

and he can't even bother to get the new teen titans' team name right.

no mention of kory's importance in dick becoming nightwing, nope we ignore that bc it's thanks to superman now.

stepping away from the way he hates kory to talk about the way he hates jason! jason's described as a 'troubled orphan' and a 'juvenile delinquent'.

no mentions of how jason and dick bonded but as soon as tim gets introduced he talks about how dick and tim 'switfly bond as brothers'.

another incredibly impersonal description of dick and kory's relationship (the wedding of dick grayson and kory anders (aka starfire) is aborted by the rogue titan raven. dick and kory soon part company and dissolve their relationship.) but at least he calls her kory this time.

also i love how he speeds up through all the 'non important' development for dick but spends a whole page talking about all the bullshit he's been writing for nightwing. i understand why, but it's just lmaooooo 🙃 when you read it like that, it really shows how shitty this comic is.

talks of the 'doomed relationship' between dick and hel and i really hate it pls stop

the last page is dick's evaluation by the police academy and i do not care so i'm skipping it too.

[jq37]

i know you posted your thoughts on the big arguing scene in “we need to talk about pete” but i was wondering if you were going to post a full breakdown? that episode was a lot and i love hearing your thoughts on eps. ignore this if you have done a breakdown and i’m dumb and just missed it lol

**spoilers for the war of bugs and rats and we need to talk about pete**

What’s up denizens of Magic NYC? Now, I unfortunately live in normal NYC where I have to pay bills and stuff so I’ve been MIA with recaps for the past few eps but, no sweat. We’re gonna do a double feature of the above two eps and then I’ll group in the last battle episode with the upcoming episode. So lets catch up on what’s been going on in The Unsleeping City There’s a LOT to get through so vámanos y'all.

First up, we have our big bug fight in Queens, which Sophie enters with a camelback full of box wine because Emily is Emily.

“I’ve heard of gentrification but this is crazy!”

Brennan enjoys making those gross, chittering, bug noises way too much.

Have we talked about Pete’s cowboy hat? Because, for real, what is up with Pete’s cowboy hat? It seems absolutely apropos of nothing. Was he just like, “Sick,” and he decided to wear it everywhere? That seems to be how he makes all of his decisions.

“Butthole 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

Emily clocks the cat *immediately*. Like to the point where I’m almost thinking, “Did this cat exist before Emily mentioned looking for one?” And I want to say yes because La Gran Gata seems very fleshed out, specific, and intentional. But folks, we are living in a post-Avanash world so idk what to think. (Edit: The cat does have a mini now that I’ve gotten to that but idk, that insert shot could have been shot post ep so like, who knows?)

Anyway, Emily’s entire mission objective immediately becomes saving this cat she’s vaguely aware of.  

“5E you crazy.”

The Cast, Knowing Emily just rolled a 25 and still has a 1d8 Bless in Her Back Pocket if She Needs It: Brennan, Just Ask.

The horror on Emily’s face when she realizes that she just called an attack on the cat cocoon.

So Emily goes off on a very Emily side quest to rescue a random cat but happens to unlock a very cool NPC–La Gran Gata–who is like the spirit of all the bodega cats out there. Sophie immediately calls upon the entirety of her limited Spanish skills to try and make friends with the cat, and succeeds.

The, “To arms, to arms my brothers!” thing kills me every time. Are all rats just Like That? Is that what they’re like when they’re out and about too?

Kingston rolling a nat 20 to literally walk across the store is wild.

Oh also, Pete failed a wild magic surge roll which just lets him fly. So far, those wild magic surges have really been working out for him.

Anyway, Bug Boss Becky turns Ricky into a “buff-ass” dog.

Zac playing dog-Ricky with almost exactly the same self-awareness (or lack thereof) as normal-Ricky is so funny. He’s an Akita and I was expecting Dalmatian but that makes sense too. Ricky, the very good boy, attacks Becky and–as a Sentinel–stops her in her tracks.

Emily does a ton of damage and Brennan, about to describe her attack, is like, “Are you still drunk?” Emily shuts down the opportunity to look cooler and is like, “I am a messy, drunk bitch. Describe that.” Emily isn’t here to be cool. Emily is here to roleplay.

I had never heard the word brindled before now and Brennan uses it to describe two separate animals in this ep.

Siobhan rolls a nat 20 to dispel magic on Ricky which is objectively good but also I would have loved for him to be a dog a little longer. Also, this moment makes me really, really want to get some backstory on Misty. Like, clearly there are some serious Fae Shenanigans going on with her and I need specifics yesterday.

Also, Ricky comes back with pointier ears and wolfier senses and I’m just picturing Channing Tatum in Jupiter Ascending.

Before I forget, Sophie, Pete, and Misty yoink magical items from the magic bodega within the bodega La Gran Gata opened up. Sophie’s is a magic ring that amps up her punches. Misty took a mirror and Pete took a grill (like for your teeth). Not sure what those do yet.

The fact that this whole fight wasn’t under the Umbral Arcana and there are people out there that remember is a little concerning for me. I can’t quite tell if it’s the sort of thing that will come back or more of a warning of what can happen if the U.A. goes down again.

Post-fight, Sophie asks La Gran Gata for mismatched David Bowie eyes like the cat has. Siobahn goes, “That’s what you’re gonna ask? You drunk bitch.” But Sophie has her wish granted. I’m sure that won’t raise any questions with people who have known her her entire life. 

“She’s gonna fuck that cat.”

So the fight’s over and they realize that the Key to the City is missing which I can’t imagine is a good thing.

This brings us to the RP ep, We Need to Talk About Pete, which picks up directly where the previous ep ended.

Ally and Emily go for the exact same joke of getting Guinness’s post-fight. Kingston–as a medical professional, Vox Populi, and sanest adult of this troupe–loudly objects (smacking the beers out of Pete’s hands multiple times) and wants to know what the hell is going on with the bugs they just fought.

Sidenote: Sophie took a level in Warlock with La Gran Gata as her patron because of *course* she did. I wonder if this was the plan from the beginning or if Emily was watching all her friends spellcasting and started getting the jitters from magic user withdrawal.

Murph’s “What?” face when Emily says, “I’ll be waiting, but not in an impatient, desperate way,” is gold.

They search the bodega and find a thing of 1000 Hour Energy and Kugrash gives it to Ricky over Pete’s objections. They also find Holy Grail Laundry Detergent (Kingston pays for it), The Grill I mentioned earlier (Kingston hates this), and this bagel. 

All the magic users show up. Alejandro wants an explanation pronto and everyone points a finger at Pete who explains everything in his typical, nonchalant, vague, kinda spaced out way which Alejandro is not digging at all. He starts to go off on the enormity of the situation and Pete starts dropping acid.

I’m gonna stop here for a sec to talk about how Ally is playing Pete. There are moments when I feel like Ally is doing something as a comedian for a bit. And there’s kind of a sense of, is this funny? Obviously. But what are the in game implications of this move? Like the running joke of Pete constantly being high on something is funny, out of game. But,  in game, it’s massively concerning. And I’m really curious about where Ally is choosing to draw the line between doing the funny thing and doing the prudent thing. I almost said the in-character thing but Ally made a character so consistently bonkers that whatever he does could plausibly be the in-character thing. Pete is kind of a massive disaster.

Anyway, Alejandro drives home the point that Pete’s actions have consequences and have caused actual deaths at this point. Pete’s magic is internally going wonky as he gets more distressed (I really wanted to see a wild magic surge fail here but alas). But he’s still outwardly like a 4 on the giving a damn scale when the situation is a 13 out of 10. Pete is only half listening to this because he’s halfway out the door, smoking. Alejandro plans with Kingston to discuss Pete later.

Misty, always sowing seeds of chaos, suggests Alejandro stock up on Juul pods before they stop selling them completely. Kingston hates this (this is basically his mood for the episode).  

Outside, Pete gets a text from Priya which ends with them planning a meet up for later after leaving her on read for a while. Pete dips without saying anything to anyone but Kingston who ignores him (and also Sophie who Emily hilariously guilts Ally into including out of character). Dipping on the conversation about how to fix YOUR mess isn’t the wisest move but Pete isn’t the wisest guy.  

In the meantime, Ricky does the Twilight Bark to summon a dalmatian (yes!) to help him find the stolen key to the city. Kugrash turns into a busted ass dalmatian who has trouble keeping up.

Ricky doesn’t have the plate mail armor that usually makes a Paladin so unstealthy but he is so hot as to have the same lack of stealthiness which is one of my favorite adaptations of the game for this setting. Anyway, Ricky does the superhero thing of running through the city, helping everyone with a problem along the way, and loses the key in the Financial District which smells like death (feels about right).

Siobahn playing Misty as, “Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it was Emma Lazarus,” when, in reality, she was the first person who made the connection was great. S/o to ppl who separate player and character knowledge. Misty partied w/ Emma of course because she partied with every historical figure that’s passed through NYC since she showed up.

Post adventure, people need to go to their day jobs. Misty has a +10 to performance but rolling a 3 is rolling a 3. It’s not her best work. Later, her assistant brings her holly, silver, and assorted other stuff which sounds like Fae BS if I’ve ever heard it. Misty cuts her off before she can elaborate more. I know we’re getting a secret spilling episode next time so I’m really hoping we get some Misty lore because she is being frustratingly cagey. She talks so much but says so little that means anything.

Kugrash sneaks into his son David’s house (while Emily learns a rat fact she clearly didn’t want to know) and Murph  and Brennan tag team go for the proverbial emotional jugular.

Murph rolls a nat 20 on his investigate and so he gets a lot of his old files and puts together that Robert is Robert Moses–a famous historical figure in NY who I actually heard about for the first time very recently. Or maybe I should say infamous. He did a lot with NY infrastructure–especially highways–(Emily connects this to the Highway Hex immediately) and he wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type. His bread and butter was working the system. There’s a Pulitzer winning book called The Power Broker about how he was able to amass power and influence. I don’t know enough about NY history to run my mouth off about the guy but the little I do know is in character with his T.U.S. incarnation. Also, just FYI, irl this dude died in the 80s. So, you know. That’s interesting.

Brennan, I guess: Why invent new bad guys when history is full of terrible people I just have to give magic to?

Brennan, continuing his tradition of letting people get emotionally destroyed by nat 20s, has Murph find a crushing letter from David to Kug which was never mailed.

Note: So, as I was writing this, my video timed out right at the line, “I don’t expect this letter to find you before my funeral,” which is kinda good bc idk if this is what I need at 1 AM. Anyway, back to the pain.

The letter reveals that David has devoted his life to stopping crooks like him (Kug) and that he’s mostly upset about how his leaving has affected the younger, more fragile Wally.

“I leave the letter because I’ll remember it.” Yeah I bet you will.

It looks like Kug is gonna confront Wally next ep which I am now even more excited to see.

So let’s move onto the SECOND big gut-punch of the episode. Kingston goes down to the station to give a statement about the Santa Incident. He sees a shit elemental in a lineup which isn’t super relevant to the main events but I can’t not mention something like that.

Anyway, guess what? Kingston’s ex (Liz) isn’t dead! She’s an attorney for the justice system of The Unsleeping City and she’s pissed the hell off. During their interview, he stops the tape recorder to cuss out Kingston for going on a “date” with Misty and for getting her involved in all the magical junk which means she has to do things like fingerprint shit elementals instead of being on track to be D.A. like she originally was. The way she described it made it sound like she was press ganged into it which seems like it shouldn’t be how this works, you know? Is there no blue pill option here? Also, not to be all grass is greener but I actually am a lawyer in NY (closer to Kug’s job, minus the crime) and I would swap with Liz in a heartbeat.

The fact that anything Kingston says as Vox is per se admissible is a cool detail. 

Sophie fights an old man (Jackson) in a CVS and joins a monastery which sounds like a shitpost but it isn’t. With La Gran Gata’s blessing she is now a member of the Order of the Concrete Fist.

I saw the Staten Island joke coming the second Brennan started talking but it was still hysterical when it landed.

At the same time, Pete is getting knuckle tats because, sure. And he also goes to see Priya who I am baffled was with him for any length of time. Maybe it’s the artist thing?

Also, Sophie keeps postponing her meeting with Mario which is concerning to me. The story is still happening when you’re not interacting with it. Brennan specifically said when she texted him that she got no response which doesn’t make me feel good about what’s going on with him.

Ricky has three super jacked, fratty firefighter bros, all named John who are like woke as hell. I wish I could follow the dude around for a day because every single facet of his life is wild.

Well, this episode promised we were gonna talk about Pete so let’s talk about Pete.

The gang, sans Pete, meet up with the magical powers that be to discus the destruction the newest Vox his leaving in his wake.

Sidenote, wild that Sophie has been magic for like 15 minutes and got to go to this meeting.

Alejandro wants to know what the plan is for if Pete’s powers go off the rails again. Kingston, who has clearly seen Old Yeller, offers the most drastic solution immediately: if it comes to it, we take him out. (Cut to Ally’s “Yikes” face). Kug, Sophie, and Ricky push back on that.

Misty, hilariously (and also suspiciously), is mainly concerned about NY because she needs theater to keep happening. This woman is chaotic something and I’m not convinced it’s chaotic good yet.

Anyway, I already did my big write-up on this part of the episode, but I’ll say it again: Kingston is right. He’s harsh but he’s right. This is some Phoenix Force BS that’s happening and do you know how that arc ends (the OG one, not the million other Phoenix Sagas that have happened since)? It ends with Jean Grey killing herself so she doesn’t lose control and eat another planet. Ricky is too dangerous for his own good and he doesn’t seem to have the emotional maturity to care (or at least to care at the correct level). Like, he was a drug dealer when this started which is already not ideal. He caused a huge mess and then just bounced without trying to help fix it. He thought that a week was enough time for human casualties to be water under the bridge. Frankly, not considering the nuclear option and just having to figure out if killing him is something the group is willing to do on the fly would be the more irresponsible option.

And not including Pete in the discussion would bother me more if he hadn’t openly blown off every serious discussion people have tried to have with him so far. If he’s not going to take things seriously, it makes sense they don’t invite him to the serious discussions.

The version of this story where Pete accidentally gets a bunch of people killed, finds out what he did, cries about it for a full day, and then finds out they’re talking about possibly killing him is a story where Pete is more sympathetic imo. But still, finding out that people talked about killing you under any circumstances has got to be rough.

IMO, the order of things that should be done right now are (1) putting magical training wheels on Pete, (2a) getting Pete trained or his powers transferred if it’s possible/he wants out, (2b) either way, getting Pete into therapy (like, he needed therapy before he got magic. now it’s just a matter of life and death–besides just his own), (3) talking to Pete again about the stakes and telling him point blank but not in while heated that there’s the possibility of a scenario where his powers go out of control and you have to understand that at that point it’s a matter of saving as many lives as possible. Like, Kingston can say, with conviction, “If I go rogue, you should do the same to me.” They’re in the same boat. Kingston’s just been rowing longer. Well, similar boats anyway. I imagine the Vox Populi powers are less inherently chaotic. And maybe the knowledge that a nuclear option is on the table would make Pete not want the job or want him to have his powers muted or something. Cool. Then you have that discussion at that point. Just, these are the conversations that need to happen. And maybe his own mortality will be the thing that helps get Pete’s head in the game. 

What jewel did Ale take out of his pocket during this conversation? Taking note of that. (Juul, not jewel. Duh. Thx thethief )

Pete gets in touch w/ Alejandro’s granddaughters who tell him that Alejandro’s still pretty pissed (which is surprising to Pete but like, bro. People died). Then, Robert shows up to sweet talk Pete and show him the video (that he somehow has) of Kingston talking at the Pete Meeting. When I was watching this the first time I was like, “How long before this blows up in their face–oh, almost immediately. Cool.”

He takes Pete to his vampire nightclub and hits him with Pete’s own “I didn’t create the demand” line that you just know Brennan put a pin in to hit Pete with that Uno Reverse card.

Robert tries to get Pete to summon Nod and then just does it forcibly with some kind of blood magic when Pete is hesitant. Pete wild magic surges, kills a bunch of vamps, and Nod (super injured by being in the waking world) teleports them both to the subway.

The group (including Alejandro) meets them there so they can catch the L train to Nod but Epona shows up. And you already know from Fantasy High that Brennan is on the ACAB train (or is that AFCAB?). Epona is now wearing a crooked badge–crooked badge for a crooked cop. She wants Nod. No can do. The gang gets ready to–to quote Mr. Cubby-make some bacon while Alejandro tries to cast a spell to summon a train to Nod (the place not the person).

So I’ll see y’all next time (whenever that is) for some subway fighting and some backstory unlocking! 

[jackednephi]

Hey I think its real cool and neat how ur relationship w HF is like way diff from mine, I dont think that's ever talked about enough but I love seeing how diff other ppl interact w Him and still feel the same love from Him like I do (also ur right there is a lot of structure for praying that can let it become meaningless that ive never noticed before? ??)

I'd meant to answer this awhile ago when I got it but like I've been Busy. Dealing with basement demon mostly. But alas

You're right though! We all have different relationships with the father but that's to be expected. Does every child have the same relationship with their parents? Of course not! My younger brother got along with my mother when she and I would fight like two wet, angry cats. He and my father would clash pretty similarly but I've never had any serious issue with him. My older brother's issues with either of our parents were all self inflicted. As in, the only times he hasn't gotten on with them were through his own mistakes. Like marrying a woman they didn't think was a good fit. Which ended up in divorce 18 months later, interestingly enough

But that's just how it is, you know? Like we're all different people and if we all had the exact same relationship then there's some kind of problem. Our relationships should reflect who we are, how we actually communicate, rather than being cookie cutter. After all, we know who wanted the cookie cutter plan and why that was bad

I mean I'm not sitting here recommending anyone talk to the lord the same they would their best friend. That's deeply inappropriate on all kinds of levels. But some people may need to change thee/thou to you/your because the Shakespearean English trips them up and keeps them from authenticity and that's ok. I personally stick with it because it's super easy for me to slip into and out of. Almost like a glove. And I like that only the father gets the most familial address that nobody else I speak with or to does

And that's ok! The same way some people pray in the shower, some fall to their knees, others before rising for the day while they're still cozy in bed. That's just how it goes. I've never been able to kneel and pray because of terrible knees. My mother, on the other hand, doesn't pray in the shower like I tend towards. While it helps me time my showers and not dissociate, she'll spend an eternity and use up all the hot water

These, of course, are all superficial differences. At the end of the day, we're still children speaking to a parent. So long as we're respectful and authentic, of course we'll feel that deep, abiding, neverending love. That's how our relationships here manifest and, as we all know, our lives and patterns here reflect the patterns of heaven

But yeah that's just my take on it. I've described like how I interact with the father and loads of people being like "you? Can do that??? You can just like swear at God when you're frustrated?????? You can just cut out the meaningless rote ritual??????? Why didn't I think of that!" Which is very telling imo. The name of the game is authenticity because how is the lord supposed to have a relationship with a child who is keeping him at a distance

After all, he doesn't want some ideal version of us. He wants the laundry strewn across the floor, half unpacked boxes all over the house, crusty dishes in the sink us. Not the perfect house with everything neat, and tidy, and clean, and in its place. He'll help us get there. We just have to let him in while our toaster is still on fire

[izzy-b-hands]

20-30!

Thank you so much for asking!!!!

20. Favorite character to write?

Already answered, but I don’t mind re-answering cuz I thought maybe I’d narrow my three way tie, but alas, no lol. Still a tie between Ahkmenrah, Snafu, and Skwisgaar.

21. Least favorite character to write? 

Ooh-tbh, Larry from NATM just because I feel like I always make him an asshole? Like, I haven’t published all my fic ideas for NATM because I keep making him really mean? And in some it works but in others I’m like ‘jesus chill Lee he’s just a Dude trying his best’ but also at the same time I feel the way Stiller played him and his character arc means he’s got some major ego to him as the films go on? Idk that isn’t a hot take or anything just me being frustrated with Ben Stiller lol

22. Favorite story you’ve ever written? 

Hard choice, because I love all my kids, but I cried after writing this one lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

It hit some personal stuff for me, so to be able to have it work organically in a fic so I could also like, mini therapy session myself? Cool af. Also, ppl seemed to like this a lot too, and while that validation isn’t the only reason I write, it’s always cool when my writing makes ppl happy. 

23. Least favorite story you’ve ever written? 

I don’t really have a least favorite, but I do have some I’m more frustrated with, due to how long they took me to write, etc. Currently? The answer to this is my Mark the Date series because A. it is taking me a day and an age to finish it and B. I feel like it kinda flopped, so it’s hard to pull up any energy to finish it, but like...I may as well now lol. I’ll get it done eventually.

24. Favorite scene you’ve written? 

Oh god tbh I have too many I love just cuz like

I can go back to how I felt writing them and yeah

But as of most recent fics, I really this bit: 

-Snafu patted the blanket near his head, and waited for Eugene to put out his pipe and lay back beside him before snuggling close to him. “You could be right. Could be God. Could just be love.” “How’s that?” “I think love has its own way. Even before you meet someone, even before you know you’re fallin’ for ‘em. Love’s just…out there, like the air or somethin’. Finds you when the time is right, and finds who you click with. You gotta do the rest, the stayin’ in love part, but that bringing together, that first spark…that’s love just existing, and doin’ what it needs to so the world keeps spinnin’, so people make it through tough shit,” Snafu replied. “I like that,” Eugene said. “Think love did a good job with us. Makin’ sure we found each other.” Snafu pressed a kiss softly to the corner of Eugene’s mouth. “Sure did. Wouldn’t ever want to be with anyone else. I don’t even know what that looks like, and I don’t want to.” “Same here,” Eugene’s mouth was warm as he kissed him back. “Here’s to love for making sure you found me.” -

from this fic: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186926226531/absolution-is-the-taste-of-your-lips

Because I’m sappy af more than I let on, and also this was a chance to like, write out my own feelings via Snafu. And that was a pretty cool and fulfilling thing for me, ya know? 

25. Favorite line you’ve ever written? 

oh god this is another hard one to narrow down but

I always come back to this line and go ‘oh shit did I really write that. Nah, someone better than me at this had to have. They briefly possessed me or something”:  

-Music and talking and shouting and footsteps collide kaleidoscopic in his ears, but none bearing the one sound that he’d run to if he heard it.-

from this fic, mentioned twice now in this post lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

I really love alliteration, and for me this line just sums up how it feels to walk thru a city when you aren’t just wandering really, but are looking or waiting for someone, and have that awful yet sometimes good feeling of expecting to hear or see them but it feels like you’re waiting or searching forever and in the meantime the city just lives on around you, a stopped platelet stuck in a vein full of vitality. Like, idk if it hit any of my readers that way, but that’s what I was trying to get across lol, so the line always hits me hard in a good way when I scroll thru my writing tag and see it. 

26. Story you’re most proud of? 

Gosh

I gotta choose just one kid for this aldsfkja I’m bad at choosing I love my gaggle of ragtag goofballs. I have an original piece I’d choose for this, but I’ve never posted it on here, so I’m gonna choose out of my fanfic on here instead.

One I am really proud of is this one: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

and I know it’s the third time it’s been part of an answer on here but

I really love this one idk. Thinking back to how I felt while writing it, how it all flowed in a certain way. The whole experience was just something else, and I’m proud of this one in a certain way I find myself, funnily enough, unable to describe. 

27. Best review you ever got? 

Okay this sounds cheesy but like

I really do love and appreciate every review or review-like thing I’ve ever gotten so I can’t choose just one for this

Like, y’all gotta understand, I’ve deleted some of it and erased traces of it from my blog, but I’ve written for years on here, I have some stuff on my ao3, and for the longest time I got nothing back, or very nearly nothing. Maybe a few likes, but no comments and not much else. I always just rolled with it and assumed I just wasn’t writing anything good enough to inspire reviews. Idk if that’s true or not, but in any case it means I cherish every comment, like, reblog, and anything review-like in nature because I’m so grateful to have it now, and I know it could well be pure luck that I stumbled up on a really supportive bunch of fandoms with great readers. 

In other words, thank y’all for every kind word and like and reblog and also I may be an immortal feeding off of validation of my art, but we’ll see on that last bit, because I haven’t tested it. 

28. Worst review you ever got?

One from middle school. I’d just finished my very first novel, gave it to a friend to read, and he said it ‘smacked of being too fanciful and childish, something only kids and women would read’ (it was a YA fantasy novel so I mean... what exactly he expected, idk cuz he knew what it was before I gave it to him, like it’s supposed to have those elements as a lot of these sorts of novels/stories do, and that isn’t a bad thing about them at all, so like...what his damage was idek.)

Also this is the same dude who texts me randomly and is really weird abt his friendship with me and happens to be an English teacher now (RIP to his students.) 

Anyway, after he said that I tossed a review right back, because well, middle school and also I was very upset with him because I’d not asked for anything other than a general ‘if you picked this up randomly and started it, would it suck you in enough to keep reading or would you put it down’ like that was literally all I needed him to answer for me. So I told him his latest novel (his second at that point) was essentially just him masturbating to his own opinions (because he’s an arguer, who loves to tell ppl they’re always wrong, and that’s by his own admission) for one hundred pages, and not in a way that anyone else would care to read. He was pissed, but so was I. We didn’t talk for a good week, and we had almost all our classes together lol. 

Like, getting nothing back in review sucks too, but this one has stuck with me forever. Best part? I mentioned it to him a few years back, and he only vaguely remembered it, and followed it with “but I’ve said a lot of rough stuff about your work. I mean, it deserved it at the time, but you might be good at this someday!” 

I didn’t smack him, but I really, really wanted to. 

29. Favorite story/poem of another author

This doesn’t specify on Tumblr or not, so I’ve got two: one from outside tumblr, and one from on here.

A. When I have Fears That I May Cease to Be by John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be   Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,Before high-pilèd books, in charactery,   Hold like rich garners the full ripened grain;When I behold, upon the night’s starred face,   Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,And think that I may never live to trace   Their shadows with the magic hand of chance;And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,   That I shall never look upon thee more,Never have relish in the faery power   Of unreflecting love—then on the shoreOf the wide world I stand alone, and thinkTill love and fame to nothingness do sink.

B. Again, this Tumblr one could be a huge ass list because y’all on here are amazing, but one I’ve been rereading over and over again recently is @xmxisxforxmaybe ‘s Remnants series, which can be found here: https://xmxisxforxmaybe.tumblr.com/post/186702235396/remnants-complete-work

Like, Ahk as a character is captured so well, and I love the way the plot twines and also when the smut comes up? Very good A+ smut, something I value pretty highly on and off Tumblr because man, sometimes smut is just work to write, so I appreciate it when it’s really good. All around, this series has captured my heart and I legit have a link to it saved on multiple devices so if I need something to read, I can just pull it up right away. 

30. Hardest part of writing? 

Self-doubt. It’s the biggest hurdle for any artist, regardless of the art in question I think, but with writing it seems to double down a lot. Like, you have to really get out of your own head, even as you spend all your time there with your writing ideas. Shit gets weird and twisted, man. 

For the longest time, I really let self-doubt defeat me too, and I regret the time I lost to that. I still get hit with it randomly, cause I don’t think it every really goes away for any writer, not even the big names like Stephen King or Neil Gaiman (who I’m half tempted to @ on here purely because I wanna know his feelings on this stuff because I respect and admire him as an artist and his thoughts very much, but also he’s a very busy man so I’m not gonna bug him by doing that lol.) 

All there is to do is to work with it, push past it, and most importantly keep writing. I have days where that feels like the hardest thing, but each day I manage to get past it and get the words down? I let myself feel proud of that, and mark it as an achievement in my Big Book of Stuff I’ve Done in This Life. 

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 27.10.17 lb

doing this early today coz i’ve got big plans for tonight! huge!!!!! (going to the supermarket 10 km away because the one right next to me ran out of kitty litter. i know you guys, i know. i’m living a wild life and should really check myself before i wreck myself. 😎😎😎) 

huh. shivaay does not recognize baby anika in the pic. i would have thought he would. did the files he examined at the orphanage not have any pics of her? 

ooh, he didn’t know gauri was adopted! does om????? 

CHUTKI! COME ON SHIVAAY. HOW DOES THIS NOT IMMEDIATELY RING BELLS IN YOUR BRAIN???? YOU WERE ALL UP ON THE CHUTKI RAAZ AND WERE EVEN TRYING TO INTERROGATE SAHIL ABOUT IT???? 

aw man, anika is having chutki waale nightmares. 

BUT LOOK! SHE’S RIGHT HERE NEXT TO YOU RN! 

honestly, i’m already crying at just this tinyyyyy scene. i’ve been waiting for this for so long and for my baby birdie gauri to be chutki and.... i’m just so overwhelmed and happpy!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

i’m also crying at the fact that anika doesn’t even know gauri is chutki yet, but she feels so much love for her as her devrani that she holds her like that and sleeps?!?!!?!? 

aaj toh is maaaaaaaa par bhi pyaar aa raha hai mujhe. 😊😊😊

haaaaaye, look at him nihaarofying her. 😍😍😍

lololol and look at bade bhaiyya nihaarofying HIM nihaarofying her. 😁😁😁

“itna bhi nahi ghoora karte, ki khud ki nazar lag jaaye.”

tooooooo cute for words! 

“main ghoor nahi raha tha! bas dekh raha tha ki pooja kaise hoti hai.”

shivaay be like uh huh. sure. don’t play me, son. i’m a god!level wife-ghoorer. 

lololol uske beech mein rudra ka neend mein bolna. 

god, shivaay would never use the word “bathiaaaa”; who the hell is writing his dialogue these days???? 😒😒😒

UGH I JUST CAN’T STOP SQUEEING AND COOING OVER 

1. HOW HOT THEY BOTH LOOK IN BLACK. 😍😍😍

2. HOW THEY LOOK ALL GLOWY AND HAPPY. 😚😚😚

3. JUST... ALL THIS BROTHERLY LOVE. UGH. MY HEART. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“sone do saalon!” 

lolololol shivKara legit got mad for a sec thinking rudra was cussing them out. 

aw, shivaay braving machchar and ac-less chatth pe sona on a khatiaa for omki. now that’s trueeee love, my friends. 

i really love how rudra instantly screams for bhaiyya in any emergency, instead of maaaaa, like most normal ppl. 

pffft. this idiot and his first world problems. 🙄🙄🙄

when even 4ever-laaaad-karne-waale bhaiyya tells you to stfu, please understand what a selfish asshole you’re being. 

om reacting to rudra’s crap is forever my favt. part of this show and i’ve missed it soooooooooooooo much. 

“aap dono shadishuda ek bachelor ki problem kabhi nahi samajh sakte ho.”

pfffffft, the last time these two got laid, blackberry phones were still a thing. the USA had a president who wasn’t a big racist crapbag sexual offender. my cat’s ears were still adorably too big for his face. ISIS wasn’t a thing yet. i still had the will to live. 

shivKara have had enough of rudra. as have the rest of us. 😒😒😒

wow, rudra threatening these two. that’s not gooood. 

lmao, he used his trump card. the only protective force more fierce than his brothers: the bhaabi(s). 🙃🙃🙃

aaaaaand they just JUMPED HIS ASS and gave him a proper blanket party. THIS is the most realistic depiction of brothers and the way they behave in this show yet. 

MY BOYSSSSSSSSSSS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. 😭😭😭

ugh fuck this stupid chennai-express-se-chori-kiya-hua-rasm. i’m just focussing on omki undressing his wife with his eyes. 😏😏😏

ugh fuck you shitty ajay. fuck off already. 

daaang, look at his sexy prasad eating, ala hrithik from k3g. 

“aap kyun aayenge?” “mere bina rasm kaise hoga, gauri?” “aisa nahi ho sakta.” “aisa HI hoga.” 

goddddd, his cockiness is realllllly getting me hot. 

OOOOOOOOOOOH FAIRY LIGHTSSSSSSSSS!!!!! 

COME ON GAURI, LET HIM UNTANGLE YOU ALLL SESKYYYYYY!!! 

ugh the way he’s looking at herrrrrrrrrrr. my heartttttt. 

poora hona qismat hai is adhoore qisse ki, abhi mohabbat karni hai, humein humaare hisse ki. 

OMFG. THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO SET ME ON FIRE WITH HIS SEXY INTENSE EYES AND FUCKING PASSIONATE SHAYAARI!!!!!!!!!!!11

gauri, a far stronger and less fickle woman than me, still trying to hold strong. LOINS OF STEEL, MY GIRL. YOU HAVE LOINS OF STEEL. 

but look at her face. she can’t help but look the tiiiiiiiniest bit hopeful at his words, but she’s scared to even let herself hope. 

oh my baby. you’re going to get sooooooooo much khushiiiiiii. you’re gonna get both sexy shaayar hubs, AND YOUR LONG LOST SISTER WHO’S NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU AND LONGING FOR YOU. I AM SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUU. 😭😭😭

anika is agonizing over her buddhi waali look ke aesthetics. 

and hubs is here to be an ass as always. girl, just kick him in the shin. 

or shove him out the room. that works too. fucking idiot. 

mwahahaha, ajay isn’t here yet to do the rasm.

lololol om’s face. man, try to hide the glee at least a litttle! 

dang, dilpreet straight up be like can i do it? what confidence. 

maaaaaaaaaaa approves. 

cocky little shit. 😂😂😂

lolololol gauri’s glare. she fully knows these fuckers have fucked with ajay. she ain’t no kachchi khilaaadi. usne bhi toh yehi sab khel khele the bhaujai ki shaadi ke waqt. 

lololol did they send rudra coz he’s the most incompetent and will waste the most time??? 

YUP. THEY DID. EVEN HE KNOWS IT. 

aaaaaand diljeet is here to romance with his auntyji. ab toh public mein bhi????? kuch toh sharam karlo! 

a random titli has appeared to steal him away! 

lmaoooooo anika has had absolutely enough of chicks hitting on her man. “dooob jaane ka mann karta hai toh doob jaa naa gande naale mein, ya kuwein mein! meri pati ki kanji aankhon se door reh samjhi, nahi toh khoon pee jaaongi!” 

these randommmmm fucking aunties are so annoying i want them to die already. 

lol maaaaaaa is so amazingly playing cupid today. i love it. 

gauriiiii be like “maaaaaa, et tu brutus!” 

i cannot and will not get over this one’s gleeful little smirk. 😍😍😍😍

official permission from the saas! get to work omki! 

(ok is this face pe blowing thing an official oberoi seduction move???? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔) 

DYYYYYYYYYINGGGGGGG AT HIS SMILE. DYINGGGGGG AT THE FEELZ. DYING AT THE SHAADI WAALA PARALLEL. DYIIIIIIIIIIIING AT HER UNABLE TO RESIST RETURNING HIS SMILE WITH THE TINIESTTTTTT LITTLE SMILE. I AMMMM DEAAAAAAAAAD. WHAT AN EPISODEEEEEEEEEEEE! 

oh shit lotsa angst for the 400th episode. 

BUT I LOVE THAT ANGST SO GIMME IT ALL! 

[leaughrilke]

How does everyone react(including Stella) to Stella being gay

well kiddos lets take a jaunt down lesbian lane (these two go hand in hand so i’m including them together!)

also here’s a warning at the top (its also tagged and if you blacklisted the slur, this post should be blocked) i use the d slur once in here, towards the bottom

so obviously its not that she grows up closeted necessarily like its more??  she just never acknowledges that part of herself??  and she doesnt have to for a long time, bc she’s so used to just picking up one what other people are feeling and like??  idk how to phrase this.  boys are louder?  like girls, stella’s noticed, like sort of monitor their thoughts, even in their own head, but boys dont and so its boys’ feelings for her that she always picks up on fastest, reflects back on the basis of those feelings being so strong.  so it takes her a while to even notice her own feelings???  notice the funny feeling in her stomach whenever the cute girl in her bio class smiles at her

and its not that her moms dont talk to her about attraction, bc they do, they talk to her about crushes and relationships and the whole shebang but stella never indicates that she’s having trouble with any of that and they just figure maybe she’s not interested in people romantically and then when she comes home saying she has a date with a boy, its not as if they’re about to interrogate her??  like they notice that her relationships rarely last longer than a couple months or so, if they even get to that stage??  but she’s in high school, you know??  relationships dont always last long at that age

and they kind of figure that she knows its okay??  if she’s gay.  like.  lena’s a giant lesbian.  kara’s bi as hell.  finn and maia both had really quiet coming outs???  quite frankly they didnt even have to come out, like kara and lena have always used gender neutral language when it comes to dating for the kiddos until they point them in the right direction, like one day finn mentions he has a date with the running back from the football team and no one bats an eye, kara just asks where they’re planning on going.  maia brings home a girlfriend one thanksgiving.  kara and lena just sort of figure that stella knows its fine??  and she does.  she does.  its just easier to feel what other people are feeling.  easier to not feel what she’s feeling

so stella dates boys in high school sometimes, avoids romantic and sexual situations most of the times bc there’s also a lot of consent issues tied up with it all for her, like she’s always terrified that maybe the other person is only feeling what she’s feeling??  so they can’t rlly consent, or she’s terrified its the other way around, that she’s not rlly in control of her own feelings and wants and desires, that she’ll end up doing something she doesnt really want to do.  she gets harassed for that a lot, how she’ll go out with a guy for a hot minute and then break up with him out of nowhere, just when he thinks they’re going to sleep together; maia beats up like.  several assholes in high school for her (that stella only rlly finds out abt later)

and then the summer after high school??  stella works as a camp counselor and one of the other counselors is like.  Attractive.  rlly butterflies in ur stomach, heart in ur throat, burning up when she looks at you attractive and stella has no fucking idea what to do with these feelings like shit does this girl have a crush on her??  how is she gonna break it to her that she’s straight

surprise!  stella’s not straight.  in the slightest.  she finds out when lo and behold, its six weeks into her internship and that’s usually around the time whatever feelings have a hold of her dwindle, disappear and she’s??  still?????  feeling them????????

and stella’s like.  hm.  i should test this tiny lil baby theory i have and she asks this one other counselor if they know what Hot Counselor Girl’s deal is and they’re like??  she’s straight as an arrow babes, you’re barking up the wrong tree and stella’s like OH SHIT she’s not the source of these feelings then.  that means they’re all mine.  that means???  fuck what does that mean

she comes back for the last couple month before college starts and she’s so sad and hesitant and distant bc like??  there’s this whole part of her that she’s been ignoring, been repressing bc she didn’t want to address it.  bc she was scared of what owning her feelings would mean.  and her moms pick up on it, obviously bc they’re literally the Best, but stella wont come out (heh) with it so they have to draw their own conclusions and they kind of just figure she’s worried about starting college???  so they focus on that

so she goes to college, still working this out and then one night it feels too big, too much, and she just quietly calls for kara (who, like, is always listening for her kiddos.  always always always) and she’s going to ncu so its not a long flight, she kind of just blinks and then her mom is slipping in through her open window and stella takes one look at her and just bursts into tears and kara’s like honey!!!  whats going on, what hurts, do i need to kill someone and stella’s just like i need to go home and so kara flies them home and lena’s like abt to fall asleep on the couch, waiting up for kara, but wakes right the fuck up when suddenly she has a lapful of crying stella

and stella’s still crying when she asks when she and kara knew they liked girls and there’s this moment where kara and lena look at each other and kind of go oh, like everything makes a little more sense within this context??  so they tell her.  lena tells her about her friend from childhood, skirts around the bad parts.  kara talks about how it wasn’t a thing on krypton, it wasn’t until earth that she realized it was

and like they know where this is going??  its hard not to guess, what with the way stella’s sobbing, trying to keep quiet so she can hear what theyre saying, trying to match up her own timeline to that, trying to put all the pieces of her life that she’s collected together through this new, clearer lens.  and finally lena’s like stella, love.  do you like girls?  and she nods, still crying, but its not bad, its just a lot??  she’s like.  finally admitting it to herself.  finally owning it and that’s like a Big Thing

she stays the night and the weekend bc her moms are like hey, you shouldnt be alone right now, just spend the weekend here okay?  and stella’s like OKAY bc a) she rlly shouldnt be alone (when she gets overwhelmed, it’s rlly hard for her to be rational??) and b) she misses her moms ok

by sunday she can say it.  and she does.  she’s like idk how to look like a lesbian and lena gives her this look like are you actually serious or but then realizes stella’s absolutely joking, so she rolls her eyes, says they’ll go shopping for flannels next weekend 

so stella came out to her moms in like the Most Dramatic way rlly and its kind of weird bc its not like coming out is even rlly a thing in her family, not with her gay as hell and bi as hell moms, her Lesbian Wine Aunts, the fact that like there’s like one straight person in the entire family (its one of alex and maggie’s kids and she jokes abt it all the time, is always kind of like i was waiting for my gay card to come in the mail but alas)???  like she doesnt have to rlly Come Out if she doesnt want to, she could just like bring home girlfriends and no one would blink but stella’s kind of worried she’ll never fall in love and be able to pursue it so its important that she make the statement separately??  have it be independent from her relationship status

she just tells finn the next time theyre face timing and he’s technically in the middle of studying for an exam but he drops everything to fly home and wrap her up into this big bearhug and stella’s just grinning bc it feels good to say???  its like.  liberating and finn’s so happy for her, happy that she seems more fully herself, seems happier and smiles wider and he’s so proud of her???  he rlly is

and stella waits until maia’s home to tell her, feels like its something she should tell her in person and she figures that’s probably the right choice from the weird, soft look maia gives her, the rlly careful hug she pulls her into and the sneaky way she looks around before she says if you want, i can get you into the only decent lesbian club in national city and stella’s like um???  yes pls?????  which is how the newest generation of danvers girls winds up singing karaoke at a lesbian club in the heart of the city at two am on a tuesday

she tells the rest of the family in one long sentence where she’s telling them about how college is going when its thanksgiving, like she literally says yeah, my stats class isnt terrible, i’m a lesbian, and like i think i want to take psychology next semester??  and everyone kind of surreptitiously looks at each like i heard that right, right?  and then they all just move the fuck on, but for christmas, alex gives her a flannel and a beanie with a grin

so her family obviously reacts rlly well right???  well college is a different ball game

like most ppl give zero shits and her friends are all rlly supportive but there are these girls on her floor that complain to their ra and are like ummmmm we dont feel comfortable with a lesbian on the floor, like we shower here???  and their ra is rlly good, is basically like well go shower elsewhere if youre that concerned, or better yet, i can put in for a room transfer for you and tells stella to let her know if anyone from the floor ever fucks with her

no one else from the floor does (bc of her ra and also bc maia catches wind of what happened later and like.  maybe paid a visit to these girls.  and maybe explained that what happened to that boy from stella’s seminar??  for sure will happen to them if they so much as breathe in her baby sister’s direction)

and then theres that fateful incident in her seminar, like its before class starts and stella’s chilling on her phone, living her life and this one guy comes up to her and is like heavily flirting with her and she’s just about to deflect gracefully when this other guy from the other side of the room scoffs bro, don’t even bother, she’s a dyke and like the room goes fucking silent like everyone’s just like holy shit we knew he was a dudebro but we didnt know he was a DudeBro and stella just fucking stares at him like.  what the actual fuck.  she just legit doesnt know how to process it or what to do and the dude is like carrying on like nothings changed and then class starts and its not until that night that she like??  has a chance to unpack it/??  and she just sobs, like it’s awful

maia is comes to town the next day bc she’s interviewing for grad school at ncu and she and stella are supposed to grab brunch and stella’s calling to cancel just as maia’s coming up the stairs to her room and she opens the door and is like oh, right, okay i’m good, lets go and through all of brunch she’s like???  rlly withdrawn in a way that she never is unless something’s wrong and so maia pushes and prods and waits until finally stella quits poking at her pancakes and says this one dude just said something kind of shitty to me yesterday, its no big deal but like she’s rlly upset abt it right??  so it comes through to maia even as stella tries not to and maia sees the word, the slur in big ugly letters in her mind and then stellas starting to cry a little bit, begging dont tell moms, dont tell anyone, please maia, it’s fine and maia’s like ????  fuck that, he hurt you

but stella’s fully crying now, so maia doesnt say that, just hurries to box up their food and pay and then shuffle stella out of the restaurant 

she tracks down one of stella’s friends the next day though, after her interview with the grad school admissions counselor is over and they take one look at her, ask you’re stella’s badass older sister?  

yeah.  wait does she really call me badass

and stella’s friend gives it up with no hesitation like fuck that guy right

maia beats the shit out of him tbh.  like.  obviously not that bad, and she made sure to take her supplement so that she’s not hitting with superstrength or anything, but stella is her baby sister and maia wont admit to this for a while but she would absolutely kill for stella, in a heartbeat, no questions asked.  like??  she loves her so so much.  and this guy made her cry, made her hurt, a hurt maia only got a taste of and maia remembers those awful weeks after she ended things with her Shitty Ex, when stella refused to leave her side, took on so much of her pain and suffering so that maia could sleep at night.  so yeah.  maia beats the shit out of him