#but alas i felt like sharing lol

[ambalambs]

I had some thoughts on a sort of "bad end" scenario for Asra where his voidsent eventually consumes him and takes control.

He'd probably return to the fourteenth with his new body and reclaim his domain while Asra's body would slowly gain traits of the voidsent's appearance from its mortal form, like the black hair and eventually green eyes (which i didnt do in these because i wasnt gonna spend a whole fantasia on that lol). The voidsent is arrogant and deranged which i hope i kinda grasped with the facial expressions since Asra would never smile like that.

Also this au of course wouldnt happen since Asra is too strong for the voidsent to do this and also i see them eventually working together and being buddies of a sort so yeah lol just a bit of fun here

[speakinggarbage]

lol so funny that i’ve finally gotten tired of certain friends treating me like a second choice all the time and using me to always trauma dump but never listening to me when i’m going through something and need someone and how i always listen to them ramble about their interests and try to get involved in it too bc they love it but they can’t go longer than 2 seconds listening to me talk about anything i’m excited about so i just . stop. i match their energy and leave it at that. and spend more time with friends who actually listen and appreciate me and reciprocate friendship so it doesn’t feel like i’m the one who is ALWAYS putting in more effort. but now those friends are like “is something wrong between us?” like oh ? when i treat you the way you treat me you think that’s wrong? interesting. also the way that’s what gets their attention after a MONTH of this like LMAO

also i do recognize that this is a bit petty but i’m tired. i’m tired of being the one who always listens and supports and is understanding. i always understand and i don’t want to anymore. i’m tired of reading long messages and replying with long messages about things they’re excited for or about their day or something they’re going through, only to get one word responses when it’s about me. i’m tired of my messages being ignored. i’m tired of being talked over. i’m tired of constantly feeling bad about myself. at this point, if you’re not going to match my energy or reciprocate the most basic qualities of friendship then i’m gonna do the same. i’m tired of constantly feeling like my heart is breaking or that no one cares enough about me or like i’m the only one putting in any effort into our friendship

[star-sim]

espresso ☆ sunoo kim

☆ super mega down bad!sunoo x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time sunoo had a not-so innocent dream about you, and suddenly you're the only thing that consumed all of his senses. the problem? you're the most popular girl at the academy, and he's just a nerd. driven mad by his feelings for you, it felt like his chances with you were next to zero. it's actually much higher than he thought! ☆ genre: dark academia! au, classic popular girl x nerd, a looooot of romantic and sexual frustration LOL, a bit of nerdy lingo , loser and desperate sunoo!! ☆ warning(s)? slightly suggestive, but mostly just pure silliness and fluff :3 ☆ word count: 9.5k ☆ happy belated birthday to sunoo! the sunoo fic disparity is criminal. this is for you @ashtxrie. inspired "espresso" by sabrina carpenter. i hope i did mintchoco king justice. enjoy!

Ugh.

Popular kids.

Sunoo narrowed his eyes, clutching his textbooks even closer to his chest as he walked past the hoard of snobby rich kids. Their expensive pearl necklaces and diamond rings gleamed under the warm hallway lights, but no golden jewelry would take away how downright obnoxious they were.

"How could anyone be so loud right now?" Sunoo grumbled under his breath, pushing up his thin golden-framed glasses. Seriously though, he had a point. There was no reason for anyone at all to be screaming at the top of their lungs at 10 in the morning. But alas, here he was, rolling his eyes at the stuck-up rich kids.

The Academy had a pretty simple admissions system. Either you pay to get in, or you apply and get evaluated based on your application. Most of the students at the Academy were from wealthy families, so they obviously paid to be admitted. Sunoo, on the other hand, had more humbler origins. 

To say that he worked his utmost ass off to even be able to apply was an understatement. It was almost patronizing to see all of these kids born with a silver spoon in their mouth act so carelessly.

They all acted so condescendingly, as if they didn't get admitted because of their father's paycheck.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" A new voice interrupted Sunoo's thoughts. It was his younger friend Riki, who threw an arm around his shoulder. 

"Nothing," Sunoo murmured, tearing his eyes away from the group of popular kids. 

All of them were the same. All arrogant, all pompous, all vain, all—

"Are you sure?" his other friend, Jungwon, joined. "You look a little bit—err— disturbed."

"I'm not."

Riki and Jungwon shared a look.

Okay, maybe not all rich kids were the same. 

Because there were a few exceptions, such as—

"Are you still mad about that one time that snobby little Sanghyeok threw a ball at you?" Riki asked, blinking owlishly.

"No, what are you—"

"He's a rugby player, isn't he?" Jungwon thought aloud. "Geez, all the rugby players love tossing that goddamn football around, don't they?"

"Erm, actually, it's called a rugby ball," Riki corrected in a nasally voice.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Why would anyone throw those around? It's like a ball of concrete!"

Sunoo tuned his younger friends' bickering out. He'll admit it, he's just a little bit of a hater. 

Among the snobby rich kids, there's definitely a few exceptions. Jay Park was a pretty cool guy, and so was Jake Sim. Sunoo could've sworn that there's one more person that he didn't mind too much... He just couldn't remember who....

"Watch out!"

It happened so quickly, because one moment Sunoo was lost in thought. And the next, a rugby ball was hurling at him, pummeling him square in the head.

Not again, was the last thing he thought of before he fell to the ground, blacking out.

"Aw man, you hit the nerd again?!"

"Hey, I didn't mean to— Ack!"

Sunoo stirred. It was weird. He could feel himself gain consciousness, but his head and body were pounding. Excruciatingly.

He could hear a little bit of arguing and a few masculine voices, all muffled yet somehow also painful to his ears.

"Quiet down," a new voice entered. It was a voice that Sunoo recognized, a voice that was much kinder and softer on his ears, almost healing. "If you keep yelling, you'll overwhelm him."

Whose voice was this? Sunoo knows that he knows this voice, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who.

Then, Sunoo felt a few gentle fingers run through his hair, and then a cold, ice compress pressed on his forehead.

"Just leave," the voice told the others. "Get to class. I'll take care of him."

There's some murmuring, and then some shuffling, and finally, the door slammed shut.

And the moment that it did, Sunoo's eyes shot open.

The first thing that he's met with as full consciousness pervades his body is a sharp pain everywhere, much more amplified and extreme this time.

The second thing that Sunoo sees is... you.

Of course, that makes sense now. You were the voice, and you were the person he was thinking about earlier. You were one of the exceptions to his "all rich kids are annoying" gag.

Of course you were.

Everyone knew you, and everyone loved you. Who wouldn't?

You were incredibly sweet, had a knack for calling everyone with affectionate nicknames, and every reason why Sunoo couldn't bring himself to hate everyone in the popular crowd. He's had a few classes with you in the past few years. You weren't the top student or academically driven by any means, but he could sense your effort. 

Not to mention, you were really pretty. It was no secret that every single guy in school wanted a chance with you. Sunoo wasn't like that, but he wasn't going to sit there and deny that your face was nice to look at. Truthfully, it was difficult to not like you, one way or another.

In total, Sunoo's spoken to you a total of probably four times. Nevertheless, you were a lot more than just tolerable, compared to the rest of your peers.

Now Sunoo was in the infirmary, after that rugby ball smacked him right in the head and knocked him out. He was lying down on the gurney, a cold compress to his head. And you were taking care of him.

"You're up, sweetheart," you said softly, jumping to your feet once you realized that Sunoo was awake. You handed him his glasses that were folded neatly on the table, and then you went to the shelves. Sunoo attempted to raise himself up to sit, but almost immediately he was met with that horrible, aching pain again.

"Aghh!" he groaned, dropping himself instantly and clutching onto the ice pack on his head. 

You hissed, scurrying over to his side. 

"Don't move," you instructed him. Sunoo got a good look at your face now. Pretty, as always, but you had a pinched expression. You looked frustrated, and as you unfurled the bundle of bandages that you fetched from the shelf, your eyes traveled to him and almost looked apologetic. "Let's get you fixed up, sweetie."

Very gently, almost as if you were dealing with glass, you lifted Sunoo's head just enough so that you could wrap bandages around his forehead.

"Is that okay?" you asked him quietly, your nimble fingers brushing against his skin gently. 

"Mmm—" Sunoo was cut off by a guttural sound in his throat— "Mhm."

You pushed his dark locks out of the way, humming.

While you worked on him, Sunoo couldn't help but notice how.... concerned you looked. As a matter of fact, where were the rest of your friends? Where was that bastard Sanghyeok that threw the damn rugby ball at him in the first place? 

It wasn't like you were a student nurse or anything. Aside from just being a nice person, what reason did you have to go out of your way to fix Sunoo up? It wasn't like you were the one that threw the ball.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, your brows furrowing together. Something was on your mind. 

"I'm sorry," you finally blurted, your eyes wide and nearly glassy.

???

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry that Sanghyeok threw that ball at you," you continued, words spilling from your glossy lips like a waterfall, your eyes trained onto the floor and your head hung low. As words tumbled out, you stopped your ministrations on him, your hands taking solace on the hem of your uniform skirt. "I-It was very wrong of him, and it's even worse that you're now injured, and—"

"Why are you apologizing?" Sunoo interrupted you, though with labored breaths between his words, as he didn't want to hurt himself.

You frowned even harder, your fingers wringing each other. "B-But—"

Sunoo's face scrunched. "You didn't throw the ball at me. Sanghyeok did, so there's no reason for you to say sorry to me."

You shook your head. 

"Still!" you huffed, your cheeks filling with air as you tapped your foot. You let out an exasperated breath. It smelled of coffee. "I know that it's not my fault, but— but that doesn't make what happened right."

Sunoo opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, beginning your ministrations once again. "I'm just doing what's right."

By the end of the school day, Sunoo got out of the nurse's office, just slightly stumbling. His head still hurt, but thanks to you, who missed a few classes, it hurt a lot less than it should have. Once again, you proved that you weren't as bad as the rest. 

If it was any other day, Sunoo would go to the library to fit in a few hours of studying, but after today's events, he just wanted to go back to his dorm.

It's been a long, stressful, and painful day. 

The moment that Sunoo's dorm door shut, he made a bee-line for his bed, completely ignoring his roommate Sunghoon. He threw off his uniform shirt and tie, peeling them off like they were some nuisance. 

And just like that, the second that Sunoo's head hit the pillow, he knocked out.

Sunoo opened his eyes and he was in a bed. Not his own bed, but a softer, much more comfortable bed. 

He felt a warm—really warm— almost fuzzy, feeling in his chest. Sunoo's hands feel around the bed. The sheets are smooth and clean, and under his fingertips they wrinkle ever-so slightly. Now that he was looking around, it seemed to be early morning, with rays of sunlight peeking through the windows. In fact, this dorm room wasn't his. It smelled of espresso coffee, and was so pristine and neat.

Sunoo didn't notice it now, but all the pain he was supposed to be feeling disappeared. And just as he was about to get up to his feet to inspect, someone appeared at the doorway.

You.

"You're up, sleepyhead?" you said, leaning on the doorway as a sly smile spread across your face. 

Why was he in your room? 

And more importantly, why were you in only a bathrobe? 

Sunoo looked down, and that's when he realized that he, too, was shirtless.

Instead of responding how he'd want to— confused out of his mind— words tumbled out of his lips, almost like he had no control over them. "I was waiting for you."

You giggled, pretty sounds falling from your pretty lips. You slowly sauntered over to the foot of your bed, your gentle hands coming down to brush against Sunoo's leg.

"You look so handsome, sweetheart," you rasped. The warmth and fuzziness that he felt earlier began to spread from his chest to his entire body.

And the next thing that Sunoo knew, you were on top of him. Your lips pressed wet kisses all over his bare chest. Sticky gloss clung to his flushed skin, leaving pretty lipstick marks across his skin. 

"God, I want you so bad," you groaned, before taking his skin between your teeth. You sucked on it gently, earning a gasp from the boy. You giggled into his ear.

By now, Sunoo was burning up completely. Each graze of your lips was like a scorching hot iron piercing his skin, but it burned so good. If it weren't for his fingers that dug into the crisp bed sheets, or the way that you gripped his chin, Sunoo would have fainted already. Each gasp for air as you marked his soft skin was ripped from his throat, hot lines of electricity running through his veins. 

"Please..." Sunoo pleaded through a strangled whimper, letting out a soft moan when you bit onto his ear, your warm breath brushing up against his skin in a way that made him shudder. "Please, [Name]."

Everything before had a haze over it, a blurry screentone cast over Sunoo's eyes.

But as you looked up at him through your pretty eyelashes, lips swollen from abusing his skin, Sunoo swore that he could see everything so clearly. Every line on your face, every shadow and every highlight, every blemish and every perfection— he could see all of it.

"Please, what?" you murmured, your lips spreading into a grin. "What are you begging for, sweetheart?"

And it drove him crazy.

Sunoo threw his head back, an airy moan tumbling from his lips, giving you better access to his neck. 

"I need you," he whined, his chest heaving up and down as he failed to catch his breath. "Please, I need you so bad."

You giggled again, pressing a hand against his chest.

"Anything you want you get—"

Beep beep! That was an eerily familiar alarm sound, one that was familiar enough to make Sunoo's head whip around.

You looked unfazed, only giggling again before leaning in to press soft kisses on his chest. 

Beep beep!

There it was again! This time, Sunoo's body jerked at the sound, his face scrunching. Why weren't you reacting?

"Focus on me, sweetie," you whispered in his ear. 

Sunoo complied (because of course he did), closing his eyes as you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. And just as he was beginning to forget that godforsaken sound, sinking into the sweet taste of your lips...

Beep beep!

Sunoo couldn't help the way that he jerked away from you.

And as he did, Sunoo jerked awake.

His eyes shot open.

Dark room, completely drenched in sweat, burning up, and unfortunately alone.

"I swear, you always look like someone pissed you off."

"Right? He always looks so... constipated?"

On most days, Sunoo could endure his friends' teasing. Not this morning though.

He woke up from that dream completely disoriented. With his hair disheveled and face flushed, Sunoo arose from his slumber with beads of sweat running down his temple. It took him four more rings of his alarm clock and his roommate yelling at him to truly regain his consciousness— for while he was physically awake, he wasn't truly awake. Not after a dream like that.

Sunoo told everyone so far that he woke up with a fever, which was true. His cheeks were bright red, and his skin was hot to the touch, as he was bundled up in a few layers of coats. 

Truthfully, his physical condition wasn't what was causing him to be so disoriented.

It was you.

What the fuck was that dream? 

Usually, Sunoo couldn't remember his dreams, even if they were fever dreams. But now sitting in the dining hall, nibbling on his breakfast, Sunoo could remember every little thing so clearly in his mind. 

He could remember how your room looked, how your bathrobe made your skin look so beautiful, how your plump lips felt against his chest, how fucking gorgeous you look—

Clank!

Sunoo dropped his fork onto the table, the metal cutlery clanking with the porcelain plates around him.

"What's up with him?" Jungwon not-so-quietly whispered to Riki. The two watched, perplexed, as Sunoo's cheeks turned even more red, the older boy's tired eyes squeezing shut as he hid his face in his palms. 

Sunoo groaned, looking through his palms to look at his friends' confused expressions.

He felt hot. Maybe it was the fever. 

He looked down at his palms, the reddy patches sticky with a thin sheen of sweat. 

Definitely not just the fever.

He couldn't get your voice out of his head.

It was well-known that you liked to call everyone a nickname of sorts. It seemed like his nickname was "sweetheart."

Sunoo knew it was innocent, especially when you were fixing him up yesterday. But now with a new context—the context of his not-so innocent dream where you rasped "sweetheart" into his ear— he couldn't help but feel shy.

Sunoo's chest heaved. His tweed coat felt too thick now. His fingertips were held together by threads, and if he wasn't careful, he'd burst with blazing plasma. 

Tuning out his friends, Sunoo couldn't stop his mind from drifting back to last night's dream. 

He'd absolutely combust if he saw you again. Sunoo had no idea how he'd even look you in the eye, after doing unthinkable things with you in his dream.

God, there was no way that he'd ever let anyone, let alone you, find out about this. He felt like some pervert, some sick creep using you to fuel his nasty fantasies. He was not, but he sure felt like it.

Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere except down at his plate. If he did, he feared that he would catch sight of you, and completely die. As a matter of fact, even hearing the names of your friends in passing made his stomach do flips. 

The school bell rang, and now Sunoo had to drag himself to class. Murmuring a small good-bye to his friends, his heavy footsteps took him where his first period morning class would be.

Gosh, he fell asleep almost immediately last night! Quick, was there homework that he was supposed to complete? His morning class started with his elective, botany. 

Botany, botany, botany, he repeated in his head, jotting his memory. There weren't any notes due until the end of the week, and the closest test from today is two weeks. So why did he feel like he was missing something? Was there a presentation that he didn't remember? Maybe they were having a lab today and he forgot to bring his gloves. Or maybe—

Sunoo stopped in his tracks.

Just as he was cooling down, he felt his skin erupt with goosebumps, warmth overtaking his entire body.

If it weren't for his acute awareness of his surroundings, Sunoo would have tripped over his feet.

Because you decided to appear.

Oh fuck, why were you right there? Standing across the hall from him, all prettied up and completely oblivious to the hell that you were putting Sunoo through.

Had you always looked so pretty? 

Of course, Sunoo recalled how perfect your face looked at all times, how jaw-dropping you managed to look even when you didn't try. The way that the light reflected off your skin made you look like you were glowing. Like a halo.

Sunoo's face burned. You definitely looked prettier in real life than in his dream. Not even the intricate workings of his brain could capture your beauty.

A strangled noise escaped Sunoo's throat, his face turning as white as a ghost, eyes big as saucers. 

No, no, no! Sunoo squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. He had morning Botany with you! How could he forget!

"Move, you nerd!" someone grumbled as they shoved past him. Usually, on any other day, Sunoo would cuss back at them, maybe shove past them even harder. But all he could do now was stand back dazed.

He forced himself to pick up his feet again. After all, class was starting, and the bell would ring in a matter of minutes. 

What was harder than pulling himself out of his daze was walking into that Botany lecture hall. Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere that wasn't his shoes, in fear that if he even caught a glimpse of you, he'd evaporate.

With quick, hasty steps, Sunoo scurried along the sides of the hall, ignoring the little hi's and good morning's from his classmates. 

And just as he thought he successfully made it to his seat...

"Good morning, Kim!"

To say that Sunoo nearly jumped out of his skin would be an understatement. 

As you appeared before his seat, seemingly out of thin air, Sunoo felt every inch of his body flare up with warmth. 

You looked even better up-close.

"Oh— Uh—" Sunoo couldn't help the way he stared at you with wide eyes, his lips agape. 

"Good— Um, Good morning, [N-Name]," was all he could manage out.

You stared at him for a few moments, blinking a few times, before a wide smile broke out on your lips. 

You reached out, your hand resting gently on the crown of his head, completely oblivious to the way that the boy tensed under your touch. "How does your head feel, sweetheart?"

Sunoo completely forgot that he'd sustained a head injury earlier. How could he remember when something (or someone) else was making his head hurt?

"I-It's good!" he stammered quickly, words tripping over themselves. "I'm good!"

You cocked your head, your brows furrowing. 

"No one picked on you, right?" you looked around, leaning closer to him— close enough that he could feel your breath on his neck. "Did any of my friends try bothering you again?"

Sunoo flushed at the proximity. This was feeling a little too familiar.

"No!" Sunoo nearly shouted. When everyone turned to look at him weirdly, the room falling silent for a mere second, he muttered a quick sorry. "I mean— No, n-no one bothered me again."

You nodded slowly, before you brought your hand to his forehead. "You're feeling a little warm, sweetie. You aren't sick, aren't you?"

If he had less self-awareness, Sunoo would have run around that lecture hall a few times, dunked his face in a bucket of iced water, and maybe even screamed a few times before answering your question. But he couldn't, so all he could do was shake his head no.

"Good," you said with a smile. "I'll see you around."

With that, you turned on your heel, and went back to your seat. 

Class started, but Sunoo couldn't quite focus.

Sunoo felt like this had to be some joke. It felt like Jungwon or Riki were about to come out behind the curtains and scream "Gotcha!" in his face.

Because why on earth were you and him on the same path to the boys' dormitory?

After his daily study session in the library, Sunoo figured that the chances of him running into you again would be low.

But lo and behold, as Sunoo was on his way back to his dorm, you materialized from thin air and started walking with him. In silence, of course, but you greeted him with a smile.

Even after 10 hours of being out and about, you still managed to look so perfect.

In all the years that he'd attended this Academy, Sunoo's never seen you take this route, let alone go to the boys' dormitory.

Did you have a boyfriend? Or a special relationship with a boy? Sunoo's stomach dropped. What if he's been thinking about you all this time when you were taken already?

Sunoo opened his mouth to talk, but you beat him to it.

"Sooo, Sunoo," you said in a dreamy, sing-songy voice. "How's your day been?"

Torture, because of you. "I-It's been okay."

You hummed. "That's good to hear."

.

.

.

Silence.

It wasn't like he was in love with you. But for some reason, it bothered Sunoo that you could be heading to the boys' dorm for a possible boyfriend. He just needed to know.

"Where are you— Where are you headed?" Sunoo winced at his question. You probably thought he was weird now. He felt hot all over.

You smiled, clicking your tongue with a playful eye roll. "Just to my cousin's dorm. He just transferred here so my parents want me to help him move in."

Sunoo blinked.

Oh.

"Th-That's nice," Sunoo quipped. "I'm just going back to my— uh— dorm."

Of course he'd be going back to his own dorm! Sunoo chided in his head. You definitely thought he was an idiot by now.

The trip up the stairs and down the hall was quiet, awfully silent— only the distant sound of students and footsteps filling the air.

Eventually, the two of you met a stop.

"I should be turning at this corner now; his room is just down that hall," you said to him, earning a nod. "Thanks for walking with me, Sunoo."

"Of course," Sunoo said back shyly, a small smile on his lips. " 'It's my pleasure."

"No seriously," you continued, a bashful smile on your lips. "The halls during this time of year are a little sketchy. Sometimes, I can't even trust my own guy friends to walk me."

Sunoo cocked his head.

"The point is," you said, your eyes unwavering as they met with Sunoo's eyes, "You make me feel safe."

Before Sunoo could respond, you shot him a kind smile, before turning on your heel. "Good night, sweetheart!"

Sunoo was rendered speechless, staring at your retreating back.

"Good night," he muttered under his breath, not audible even to himself. "Sweetheart."

(He definitely thought about this interaction later into the night, and burned up severely.)

Although no one would guess it, the next few weeks were hell for Sunoo. It was almost terrifying.

How did you manage to show up everywhere?

Truly, it felt like everywhere Sunoo went, you just happened to show up. 

It started with little things. In the middle of class you would come in to give back a sweater you borrowed from your friend. Sometimes you would come in and sit at the back of class to make up a test that you missed, or to ask the professor any question you had about the upcoming assignment. Each time, you'd wave at Sunoo, sometimes even before you waved at your friends.

All normal, of course. Every time he'd see you, he'd immediately straighten his back to make sure his posture was perfect— maybe even brush his hair out of his eyes and adjust his glasses, all in the hopes that if you looked at him, he wouldn't be a pain to view.

All as if he wasn't screaming on the inside. There was just something about how you always had that dreamy look in your eye, like a princess. How could he possibly look you in the eye? 

Sunoo wanted to look perfect and pristine for you, but at the same time, he wanted to disappear under your gaze. Sometimes, he wanted to disappear because he simply couldn't handle the power that your eyes had. Other times he wanted to disappear so that he could look at you— observe every line, perfection, and imperfection of your face— without the existence of others around him.

No matter the time, one thing was common: Sunoo always turned four shades redder whenever you walked into the room. And it was frustrating.

"Why are you red?"

"You look embarrassed. Did you fart or something?"

"Tomato boy."

It was embarrassing, especially because his seatmates always ended up being the biggest assholes anyway.

Then, you began waving to him in the hallway. It started with small waves, sometimes with you mouthing hi or hello. But then you'd sometimes run up to him with a wide smile just to say hi.

Maybe you were just really nice, Sunoo thought, though he'd be lying if he said that he didn't wish you were giving him special treatment. In fact, it made him feel sick just thinking about how you called your friends cute pet names like darling, too. He almost had to excuse himself to the washroom when thinking about you calling other people sweetheart. You were bound to, of course, but that didn't mean that Sunoo particularly liked that idea.

All of these were small little things, pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, especially considering that you were the most popular girl in school.

But then it started getting bad.

And it wasn't your fault.

Why— just why— did you have to be in every single one of his dreams?

The first dream he had about you was already enough. Why did he need a bajillion more?

The dreams ranged from extremely mundane to scary to a bit... raunchy. And yet, you still managed to be in every single one of them.

In the mundane ones, you'd be the person that mutters a remark to him before disappearing. 

In the scary ones, you'd be the person that Sun threw over his shoulder as he ran away from the undead. 

In the raunchy ones, you'd be under him, your arms thrown around his neck as he lays wet kisses on your skin, basking in the pretty sounds that you make— Too much!

He couldn't help it. He really couldn't.

There were times where Sunoo was afraid to go to sleep. Not because seeing you was a bad thing, but because the aftermath was always bad.

Sunoo always woke up sweaty and burning up. He'd trudge to the shared bathroom and splash water on his face. No matter how cold the water was, whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was your face. Your pretty, pretty, face. You seemed to get prettier with every dream, yet dream-you couldn't ever compare to real life-you.

Seeing your face wasn't the problem. He loved to see it. The problem was that every time he saw your face Sunoo would get all clammy and mushy and warm on the inside. His cheeks would burn, and he'd feel warm all over. 

And the hardest part was that every single time, all he could hear was your voice calling him "sweetheart" — over and over, in a hypnotizing cadence that only made him want to fall into your essence even more.

It was weird.

So, so, weird.

And Sunoo thought that he was going to die.

It seemed like Sunoo was always in for a surprise.

By the end of the month, Sunoo managed to convince himself to forget about his dreams completely. 

After all, after a few days of doing his best to avoid you, he was able to assure himself that all of these feelings would disappear with time, since his attraction to you was random anyway.

Sure, you're pretty, Sunoo told himself. And very kind and sweet, but it wasn't like you and him were best buds. So whatever delusion that was going on in his head was bound to go nowhere. He was just being a teenager, probably.

He'd never felt this way towards anyone before. It was best to just ignore it.

Sunoo clenched his fists. Yeah, he'd do his damn best to ignore it.

But as he was in line in the Academy's library, preparing to check out a new book about whatever topic he wanted to read up on, Sunoo felt a pair of hands clutch his shoulders.

"Hi, Sunoo!"

Sunoo whipped his head around and jolted, a small "Ah!" leaving his lips. Startled, he nearly dropped his massive hunk of a book, earning a glare from the snobby student-librarians. 

It was you.

The moment that he laid eyes on you and your silly little grin, Sunoo's resolve weakened. Like walls of a fortified castle crumbling under the force of a cannon, if Sunoo didn't look away now he'd be absolutely beat. 

"H— Hey there, [Name]," he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from you and turning back to the front, holding his book close to his chest.

"Whatcha got there?" you asked him curiously. He could still feel your hands on his shoulders squeezing him playfully.

Sunoo looked down at his book.

Thematic Cartography and Geovisualization?

Oh god, you were definitely going to think he was a nerd.

"Nothing..." he murmured, clutching the book even closer to him.

You shook him by his shoulders playfully, a little chuckle coming from your lips. "Oh, c'mon! I know that massive book isn't just 'nothing.' What're you reading?"

"It's..." Sunoo winced. "It's embarrassing."

You pouted, a little hmph! coming from you.

"Next!" the librarian called, and Sunoo moved forward in the line to check out his book, though he was distracted by the way that you still continued to cling to him.

"You didn't— You didn't get a book?" Sunoo asked as you followed him to a library table, your hands empty.

"Nope," you said smoothly. "I'm just here to study!"

"Oh." Sunoo blinked, pushing up his glasses. It was quiet and he didn't know what to say. "What are you studying?"

"I'll tell you," you smiled, "Only if you tell me what your book is about."

He sighed. Sunoo sat down, and naturally, you followed suit, sitting across from him. He plopped his massive book down onto the table, and slowly slid it over to you.

Your brows furrowed together as you read its title.

Sunoo's cheeks burned. You definitely think he's some nerd. How embarrassing.

You finally looked up at him. Only, instead of looking at him with condescension or ridicule, you looked embarrassed.

"Um," your brows knitted together further. "What's cartography?"

Sunoo stared at you. You don't think he's weird?"

"I-I'm sorry," you continued, letting out a deep breath. You looked perplexed. "I'm not very smart. I don't know what cartography is. Or what geo-something-something is. Can you explain it to me?"

He stared at you again.

After what you just said, there was no way that he'd possibly let his feelings for you fade away. There were a lot of things that Sunoo couldn't agree with when it came to the popular kids at his school. But here he understood why hoards of boys would be at your feet, begging for just one chance.

The corners of his lips lifted. The bashful look on your face was... cute.

"It's okay," he began. "Cartography is just the science of making maps."

You looked even more confused, but also relieved. Relieved that he wasn't going to make fun of you for not knowing. "There's a science behind making maps?"

"Hm," Sunoo paused to think, "Not exactly. But there's a lot of thought that goes behind making maps."

"Why?"

Sunoo thought he was going to fall in love. He loved his friends, of course, but none of them were ever as curious about his interests as you were.

"Well," Sunoo's hands joined to make a circular shape. "The Earth is a three-dimensional globe." You nodded to show that you were listening, staring at him with curious eyes. "Imagine even trying to transfer a 3D globe onto a flat, two-dimensional surface. It's pretty difficult to do without intense distortion."

You nodded slowly, your eyes narrowing.

"Was I rambling?" Sunoo asked quietly, so quietly that he didn't even think you could hear him.

"No!" you jumped to answer, earning a glare from the librarian. "I'm just trying to process it."

After a few moments of silence, you sucked in a deep breath. "I get it now, sweetie. You're so smart."

"Th-Thank you..." Sunoo stuttered out. Did he really just ramble to you about maps? And did you actually just listen to him with interest? "What are you studying?"

"Oh, me?" you looked down, embarrassed again. "It's just history. I can't wrap my head around it and I have an exam next Wednesday."

"Oh...." Sunoo blinked. "I can help you."

And that's how he got invited to your dorm.

(And to hell with forgetting his feelings!)

Truth be told, you weren't the person that everyone thought you were.

It seemed like, to the rest of the school, you were just a perfect little angel. And the fact that you rejected every guy that made advances toward you only helped that image grow.

Everyone thought you were perfect, beautiful, and most of all, untouchable.

And that couldn't be any further than the truth.

The truth was simply that no one was good enough for you. 

Everyone had an essence of snobbery to them, something that you just couldn't get past. You wanted someone raw and genuine, someone that had more substance to them than just their daddy's money.

Which was why you wanted Sunoo Kim.

And you wanted him bad.

There was something so fucking attractive amount the way he'd push up his glasses, eyes squinting to get a better look of the board as he messily jotted down notes.

There was something so charming about the way he clenched his jaw when he was concentrated, his brows furrowing.

There was something that made your stomach flip whenever he rolled up his sleeves to do some math problem that you probably couldn't understand.

There was something that made you so obsessed whenever he swiped his tongue over his plush lips, his eyes brightening as he explained his favorite topic.

God, you didn't just want him. You needed him.

All these years, you did everything with him at the back of your mind. Would Sunoo Kim look up from his massive textbook if you wore this skirt? Maybe he'd even breathe in your direction if you got a better grade on this exam. 

You didn't get it. Everyone looked at you, yet the only person that you wanted to look at you did not.

You wanted Sunoo Kim, and you wanted him bad.

You and Sunoo agreed to meet on Monday and Tuesday to help you study for your history exam on Wednesday.

On Monday, the two of you met in the library right after school. It was a quiet, focused session, covering all the necessary sections in a short amount of time. For the first time ever, you actually understood the concepts!

On Tuesday, the two of you agreed to meet in your dorm at 7PM, because that was when you knew your roommates would be gone.

You glanced at the analogue clock pinned high on the wall near the entrance of your dormitory. Every dorm room had one, as mandated by the school to promote punctuality— all the exact same model with a red-brown base, serif lettering, and a gold trim. Yet, the clock in your dorm felt slower, much slower than it should.

6:47PM, it read, the slow ticks pushing off the walls as if to tease you.

Couldn't 7PM come any faster?

Your eyes fell over to your roommate's mirror in the corner of her desk. 

The Academy's uniform was strict. Collared button-up, the school blazer with its crest crisply embroidered on, for girls the skirt at a reasonable length: it was all very stringent. All students were required to wear the uniform during school hours.

This study session with Sunoo would not be during school hours. You picked out your best top— a pretty, white top with a delicate lace trim. You always got the most stares when you wore this one (and hopefully, Sunoo would stare at you).

You never thought that you had to put any more effort into your appearance than you usually did, but as the clock ticked on the wall, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

You knew you were pretty, but what if Sunoo didn't think the same? Did you look weird today? You swore your face was feeling puffy earlier— should you do something? What if you suddenly woke up today and you morphed into a frog-like creature, and everybody knew except you?

You picked at your fingernails as you waited (im)patiently for 7PM to come. Your palms felt a little clammy, and your heart pounded in your chest with each passing minute.

And finally, just when all of your self-confidence was beginning to slip from your grasp, you heard a knock at your door.

If it was anybody else, you would've taken your time to get to the door, maybe even shout a little "Just a minute!"

But because it was the Sunoo Kim, you couldn't help but eagerly scurry to the door. You would've been embarrassed because Sunoo could 100% hear your loud footsteps as you rushed to the door, but you were too engulfed by your nerves to even think of it.

"Hi, sweetheart!" you blurted the second you opened your door, a bright smile on your face. There Sunoo stood, with his delicate face and thin gold-rim glasses, looking composed and focused as ever. And god did that make you want him.

"Oh, hi," Sunoo said coolly, pushing up the glasses on his nose. Though, you missed the way his eyes twitched, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he sucked in a sharp breath.

The two of you stood at the door for a few moments, just staring at each other. Your smile never faltered. If anyone were to see you, they'd see hearts in your eyes and a sparkly, pink lovey-dovey aura radiating off of you.

"Come in!" you said cheerfully, letting the boy into your dorm.

The two of you got to work pretty quickly. If there was one thing about Sunoo that you could appreciate, it was his sheer willpower and concentration when it came to academics.

It wasn't like you didn't try in school. That couldn't be further from the truth; you always tried your best, even when your best didn't earn you the best marks. 

Sunoo was just another level. You couldn't understand how he did it. He was so focused and intelligent, it made your chest feel warm and fuzzy.

The moment that he stepped inside, he had your textbook and notes cracked open immediately, asking you questions that were just a little too difficult for your mind to wrap around.

"What?!" you cried, your face scrunching as jumbled words that you couldn't understand fell from his lips. You looked at Sunoo incredulously. "We did not study that!"

You could have sworn Sunoo chuckled at your confusion, his eyes squeezing into thin crescents as the corner of his lips lifted. Usually, you'd feel embarrassed for not quite being the brightest, but Sunoo never made you feel that way.

"Lee is your professor," Sunoo pushed up his glasses, unable to hold back airy chuckles at your outrage. You nodded. "Well, he's notorious for his ridiculous trick questions, right? As your study-buddy, it's my duty to prepare you as best as I can."

That's when you got up from your desk chair and flopped over onto your bed, groaning into your pillows. 

"Why do you have to be so thoroughhhh?" you whined, kicking your feet.

Your heart fluttered when Sunoo laughed. 

Yes, laughed. 

It was high-pitched and breathy, like he was sucking in breaths of air only to push it out with a pretty giggle.

You whipped your head around, picking it up from the pillow. You stared at the boy with wide eyes. 

God, how could anyone be so beautiful?

You watched the boy laugh, completely and utterly infatuated with him. He was so cute. You needed him now.

You threw your head back into the pillow, continuing to groan and whine, in the hopes that it would make him laugh.

"You hate meeeeeee," you whined, "You hate meeeee!"

"I don't!" Sunoo laughed, his hands slapping his knees, "I don't hate you."

You whined again, kicking your feet. "You doooo."

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, filled with quiet giggles. From your desk, Sunoo nudged you with his foot, earning another cute whine from you.

You were cute. And hardworking and enthusiastic. But that wasn't a surprise to Sunoo. 

Sunoo watched as you shouted at your roommate who came back to the dorm to fetch something she left behind.

"Hurry up, Yujin!" you chided quietly, trying to get Yujin out of the dorm as quickly as possible... before your momentum with Sunoo was lost. "Move it, move it!"

"Geez, sorry!" Yujin rummaged through her things, trying to look for whatever she forgot. 

When Yujin finally left, you never closed the door any fast, eagerly turning back to Sunoo and plopping down on your bed.

"Sorry, sweetie" you murmured, a frown on your face. "My friends are having a party tonight and Yujin forgot her lipstick, or something. Her stupid crush is there so she needs to look 'perfect' or whatever."

"Party?" Sunoo cocked a brow.

"Yeah," you rolled your eyes. "It's for someone's birthday."

Sunoo narrowed his eyes. 

Did you skip your friends' birthday party just to study for your history exam? 

.

.

.

Pause.

Did you just ditch your friends just to study with him?

A strange noise came out of Sunoo's lips as his cheeks felt warm.

Relax, he thought. It wasn't like it was a date or anything. Surely, you were just trying to get a good grade. That's why you chose to study instead of party.

"I was gonna go," you said smoothly, looking at your nails, "But how could I miss out on time with you?"

Sunoo's ears burned. 

"Oh— Well—" Just as words were becoming coherent in his head, you just had to drop that on him. He spluttered. "Thank you...? I-I— I mean—"

You chuckled. You got off the bed and joined Sunoo again at your desk. "Let's study, sweetheart."

For the next hour or so, the two of you were in a deep study session. Every word that you read and every word that fell from Sunoo's mouth, you soaked up like a sponge. You needed to pass this exam, and even more, you needed to make Sunoo's efforts worth it. He already spent yesterday and today helping you; you did not want to waste his time and fail.

Your dorm room was quiet now. Other than the sound of pages turning, pencils on parchment, and the distant sound of partying down the halls, the room was silent. From time to time, someone would run down the halls, probably running after their friend. You and Sunoo would look up at each other and share a chuckle.

You had just finished a practice test a few minutes ago, and now Sunoo was grading it for you. Meanwhile, you read up on your notes once again. Holding the notebook up, you hid behind it, creating a wall between you and Sunoo. 

You feared that if you could see Sunoo, you wouldn't be able to concentrate.

Well, just him being in the same room as you was already enough to make your mind drift. How could you not?

His concentrated expression made you feel weak to your knees, his fox-like eyes drilling into your practice test. His skin looked so perfect and airbrushed, you just wanted to pounce on him and mark it up and—

Okay, too far.

But still.

You've been studying for a good hour now. It wouldn't hurt to take a break, right?

You peeked over the side of your notebook to catch a glimpse of Sunoo. He was minding his own business and doing it quietly, but he looked so good that you couldn't tear your eyes away.

Yep, this was the break that your eyes needed, from those hunking paragraphs of text and difficult-to-read stimuli.

"Do you need something?" Sunoo asked, not moving his eyes from the practice test that he was currently grading. 

You felt your cheeks heat up. How did he notice your staring so quickly? This must mean that he could always notice you staring at him! Fuck, fuck, fuck, were you weird? He definitely thought you were weird now, and—

"N-Nothing," you stammered out, immediately burying yourself back into your notebook. In fact, you even went as far as turning your entire back from him out of embarrassment.

.

.

.

So embarrassing!

"I don't mind..." Sunoo murmured.

You snapped your head over to him. "W-What?"

Did you hear him correctly?

"I said..." This time, it was Sunoo's turn to hide his head behind the paper, making it impossible for you to see face. "I said I don't mind if you stare at me."

You felt light-headed.

Everything— from the deep espresso scent in the air to Sunoo's soft cologne to the way his moles littered his skin to the way he was sat so attractively at your desk, spouting intelligent nonsense at you to the very way that his glasses sat on his nose— everything about Sunoo was driving you mad.

Insane.

You didn't feel like yourself. You didn't feel like the perfect angel that everyone wanted you to be.

You felt like a selfish animal about to pounce on another. You felt like you were going to sink your teeth into his neck and ravage him.

Your head was spinning. Everything was spinning. Your skin felt hot, your mouth dry, as if it needed something to satiate it now. You were thirsty, thirsty for Sunoo, and nothing would be able to satisfy you but him.

And before you could even control yourself, you threw aside your notebook, grabbed Sunoo's face, and smashed your lips against his.

In that moment, it felt like all time stopped.

You couldn't feel anything, other than your hands that delicately clutched Sunoo's face, and your lips that were pressed against his. Your heart pounded in your ears. You felt like you were tied to a pyre, burnt like a sinner at the stake, yet it felt good.

But the moment that you heard Sunoo's breath hitch in his throat, a guttural sound tumbling out, you regained your senses.

Immediately, you pulled away, stumbling back as you caught your breath.

Sunoo's face was bright red as he stared at you. He took heavy breaths, almost like he wasn't breathing before.

"I-I'm—" you blurted, your mind not quite thinking straight. When your eyes met with Sunoo's you nearly bursted. "I-I'm so sorry— I don't know what came over me."

Sunoo only stared at you.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. What on earth did you just do? Suddenly, you were hit with regret and embarrassment.

You spluttered, apologies and jumbled words spilling out of your lips. Yet, Sunoo wasn't listening.

Your words fell upon deaf ears. 

Sunoo was too busy staring at your lips.

And if you weren't too busy apologizing, you would notice the way Sunoo's teeth dug into his bottom lip, his fists clenching as his nails prodded into his palms. You would notice the way Sunoo stared at you with glazed over eyes, how his pupils were blown out.

You would notice Sunoo's own self-control slipping out of his grasp.

After all the torment that he's been through— all your light touches, appearances in his dreams, and goddamn pretty smiles— Sunoo could feel his resolve being torn from his hands. He did his best; he dug his claws into what determination and control he had, but alas, it wasn't enough.

And as fast as you could blink, Sunoo grabbed your wrist and pulled you in against his chest.

Holding you by the waist, Sunoo gripped your chin. 

"Can I kiss you?" His voice was desperate. "Please, can I kiss you?"

"Yes," you whispered, your hands sliding up his chest to hold his broad shoulders. "Yes, please kiss me."

As the last syllable left your lips, Sunoo wasted no time crashing his lips against yours. 

Unlike his usual quiet and calm self, his lips were the complete opposite. They were rough and hungry, eating you like a starved man. You whined against his lips, gripping Sunoo's hair with weak fingers. 

It was a messy kiss. An inexperienced, messy kiss that any of your friends would jeer about. No rhythm, no ebb or flow, just feeling.

But to you, this was what you needed. 

You could taste the desperation on Sunoo's tongue; the taste of someone pushed to the edge and now finally tipping over. It sent electric waves of warmth down your skin, your stomach doing flips as his hands roamed.

Then, Sunoo gently pushed you onto the bed, his lips swollen as he peered down at you.

"Are you okay?" he asked quickly, making sure that he didn't push too hard.

You only smiled. "Mhm."

Sunoo got on top of you, being careful to not crush you under him.

It looked just like his dream.

The smell of espresso coffee in the air, the two of you in bed, and did you think he wouldn't notice the white lace top that you chose to wear? Just for him.

Sunoo leaned on his elbows for support as he was on top of you, leaning in to kiss you.

Except, before his lips could meet yours, you giggled, placing your hands on his shoulders to stop him.

Sunoo looked at you concerned, like a deer in headlights. Had he done something wrong?

But you only smiled. 

Gently, you put your hands on his glasses, straightening them out. They had gotten crooked earlier when the two of you first kissed. 

"Can I take these off, sweetie?" you asked.

Shivers ran down his spine at the nickname. Sunoo hummed, too eager to kiss you to even care if he'd be half-blind without them. You took his glasses off, putting it on your bedside table.

Sunoo took your face in his hands, his fox-like eyes staring into your eyes. 

"You look so beautiful," he breathed. Sunoo's head dived for your neck. His breath tickled your skin, making you let out a whimper. "So, so, so beautiful."

With that, Sunoo began pressing open-mouthed kisses on your neck. With each kiss you let out a moan, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck and pulling at his hair. Your legs wrapped around him, your head falling back into the pillows to give Sunoo better access.

"Su— Sunoo— ahh," you struggled out, especially when Sunoo sucked on your skin. Although he was only kissing your neck, your entire body felt like jelly, including your brain. "Sunoo— I-I'm sensi— sensitive there."

"Sensitive where?" Sunoo asked simply, ignoring the way that you squirmed under him.

When you could only moan in response, you could feel Sunoo grin against you.

His lips nipped at your collarbone. "Sensitive here?"

"A-Ah—" you moaned, your arm jerking out to grip the bed sheets below you.

Sunoo kissed a wet line to your jugular, right at the center of your neck. "What about here?"

When all you could do was whimper, he grinned again. His lips traveled to the very side of your neck, just under your ear.

"What about here?" he asked again.

But instead of a moan or whimper, you laughed. You threw your head back again, pulling Sunoo's head into your chest in an embrace as soft giggles left your lips.

"I'm ticklish there," you giggled out. You bring a hand up to brush up against that spot on your neck. You grinned softly. "Sorry, I'm ticklish there I guess."

Sunoo nodded into your shoulder. He took in your scent, the feeling of you pressed up against him. He didn't mind that your little session was interrupted by something light-hearted. After all, he got to learn something about you, no matter how small.

And just as Sunoo was listening to your heartbeat, you pulled him back. 

"Turn over," you instructed. He did just that. You were now on top of him. "My turn."

Just like in his dream. 

He was in for a long night.

"Sunoo!" you shouted, your legs moving faster than you could think. The moment that you spotted his familiar back, you pounced on him, throwing your arms around him. "Sunoo, guess what?!"

Sunoo looked over his shoulder, swallowing back any embarrassment and shyness as you hugged him. Everyone in the hallway was staring at you by now, but it seemed like you didn't care. And if you didn't care, then he didn't care either. "What?"

You turned the boy over. It was now that he noticed the papers in your hands. You shoved it in his face, big red numbers at the forefront.

"One hundred percent!" you exclaimed. It was your history exam. "I got one hundred percent!"

The two of you celebrated (i.e. you hugged Sunoo) in the hallway, completely ignoring anyone that was staring. After all, it was Wednesday afternoon and the dining period was ending soon.

"Good job," Sunoo smiled. He was happy. "You did great."

"I couldn't have done it without you!" Your smile was so bright that it could light up the entire academy. You threw your arms around him again, this time pushing your face into his neck. You squeezed him. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"

You pulled back, looking at him with big, glimmering eyes. You took his hands in yours, squeezing them excitedly.

Feeling bold, Sunoo pushed up his glasses before leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Your neck," he rasped, "I can see the hickeys."

Your eyes widened into saucers at that, immediately fixing your shirt's collar. Your face was painted with shyness, squeezing your eyes shut. Your panic was so evident that anyone could probably tell. So cute.

"Just kidding," Sunoo chuckled, before he turned on his heel and began walking away from you, ignoring your cute shouting as you followed after him.

Yeah, he'd regret that later. After all, you had him on a leash, and there was no way in hell that he could escape you. 

He wasn't going to sleep tonight, one way or another. Not if it's you.

[azlrse]

➳ unintentionally (a boothill x gn!spouse!reader oneshot)

cw: major angst w/ open ending, reader has a bruise (unintentionally) from their ranger husband, accidental slap (also unintentional), established relationship, married au, lots of apologies and crying present here, ooc boothill (first time writing for him)

a/n: alright, as soon as i saw boothill for the first time, I was like "bet lemme write something for him". he's gonna be ooc cause 1. i didn't play the game yet (cries incompatible tablet) and 2. i am still learning the roots of this game's lore (and him once he's released) lol

!! fic contains sensitive topic, steer clear if this fic ain't your piece of cake !!

"darlin'?" a voice called out in the side of the storage room. "please come out, i-i didn't mean to hit you and im really sorry.." your husband called out for you softly to avoid scaring you further. his constant knocking and coercing you to come out lasted for 5 minutes, making you curl up further within the corner of the walls. "leave me alone.." you meekly spoke, voice still hoarse from your earlier cries as you held your bruised, swollen face.

his constant knocking just faded away as you sobbed, using your free hand to wipe away your snot and tears dripping from your face. if you just steer clear from him and not pestering him because of his anger, you wouldn't be hit and to be screamed by boothil to just leave him alone. you knew that your husband is like a dynamite, ready to explode at any moment due to his occupation. boothill assures you that he will never lay a hand on you, even when the both of you are either arguing or disagreeing over something that's simple and stupid.

but this day, he broke that one promise that kept you safe since the day he asked you out. just because of his anger towards that one outlaw who's on the run for weeks. almost captured but alas, his luck ran out once again as the prisoner kept on taunting him that he will never be caught by him.

boothill, on the other side of the door, won't give up as he waits for you to open the door and letting him treat your bruised lip and swollen cheek. he knows that it's not an excuse for him to let out such anger towards his spouse. guilt kept on creeping through his system, hearing you sobbing telling him to just leave you alone. "im sorry, sugar.." he sadly spoke, reluctantly returning to the sleeping quarters that the both of you shared.

at around 4:30 am, he quietly opens the door of the storage room and looks around to see if you are sleeping soundly; tear stains on your face, a bruised and swollen cheek, and using a rolled towel as your pillow. his heart shattered what he has done to you and knew that he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. he feared that there will be a day that you would leave him all by himself, all because of how he acted towards his own emotions and anger.

boothil scooped you into his arms as your head leaned towards his warm body. he knew that you liked it when you huddled close towards his chest as he placed a chaste kiss on your head. placing you on the shared bed, he cleans your bruises and places an ice pack on the side of you. he stared at your sleeping face for sometime before he murmurs soft apologies to you, even promising that he will never do again.

the soft light from the curtains woke you up from your sleeping slumber after the ordeal last night. 'strange..' you thought to yourself as you saw the ceiling of the bedroom you shared with your husband, not the plain white ceiling from the storage room where you seek safety during your husband's anger episode. you placed a hand on your bruised cheek and felt a small gauze on top of it and a bit of cold from the ice pack he placed on the side of your face last night.

you tried to get off the bed but felt a robotic arm wrapped around your waist. "no, no..." boothill softly murmurs. "five more minutes sugar, needin' you here right now.." a wave of anxiousness just came rushing towards you as you saw your husband on the bed with you, snuggling as he finally woke up from his sleep; his cropped jacket is gone and only had a pair of short as his sleeping attire, his hair smells like newly lit cigarettes from his trip to the saloon yesterday.

if you aren't anxious, you would be flustered of his appearance.

"mornin' sugar.." he softly spoke as he leans in to give you a kiss. afraid, you quickly jumped off the bed and quickly make a beeline for the storage room once again. "w-wait!" his quick reflexes caught your arm. "don't leave me, let's talk it here my love. I know what I did is unacceptable and I'm really sorry for hitting you." Silence looms within the bedroom as you eyes avoided his. "Please.." He pleaded, his eyes soften as guilt crept on his back.

it's up to you to decide of you should stay for him or choosing your own peace...

a/n: not my best work but hopefully you guys liked my take on boothill (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)♡

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites. Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

[kotoku]

Hello! Could I request Aventurine with a musician and singer reader? I'm just imagining them singing to him while he rests.

ᴀᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀɪɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄɪᴀɴ & ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ! ꜱ/ᴏ

pairings - aventurine x musician and singer! reader

content - a couple headcanons before the small oneshot at the end, pre-relationship to established relationship, mainly fluff but there is some angst i sprinkled in, aventurine having nightmares about his past/trauma, reader comforting him to sleep, gender-neutral reader, comfort fic (?) for aventurine lol

warnings - none, besides some slight angst

⋘ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ... ⋙

↻ Aventurine’s first encounter with you would be an event that is taking place in a casino that he frequents

↺ You know how bars have those karaoke nights where people can come up and sing? Something like that

↻ When he first saw you performing, he could recognize some of the songs that he overheard from his subordinates and coworkers

↺ They seemed to be fangirling over whoever the singer was, gushing about their appearance and music to each other before noticing Aventurine and skittering off to their work

↺ He didn’t question what they were listening to, returning back to whatever he was doing in the first place

↻ When you started singing on stage, he was enamored with your voice, the lighting of the casino complimenting your looks and making you appear ethereal 

↺ Aventurine couldn’t focus on his gambles for the rest of the night and days to come, distracted by your performances

↻ He started going to the casino on days that you were performing, making sure to get a seat near you to be able to have a closer look

↻ Aventurine often times finds himself daydreaming, lost in the movements of your hands as they played to the tune of your voice

↺ He was lovestruck, but he would never admit that to anyone, maybe not even you…

↻ Unbeknownst to Aventurine, you had noticed his frequent appearances during your appearances and were delighted to have someone of his position enjoy your performances

↺ You’d catch his lingering gazes, the flustered look on his face when he caught himself staring for too long, his stuttered movements when he returned to whoever he was milking money from

↺ You decided to wait a little longer, wanting to see just how long it would take for Aventurine to make his move before you do

↻ Honestly, you would have never guessed that you’d bump into Aventurine after one of your performances, spotting him waiting near the back entrance to where you had some of your equipment stored (it seems you needn’t wait longer for your encounter with him)

↺ He was the first to approach you, clapping his hands and giving you a sly smile

↺ “What a performance. You always know how to put on a show.”

↻ From there on, he’d catch you after you had finished your act for the night, striking up a conversation that could last for hours

↺ You’d end up sitting by the bar with him, talking and laughing the night away as the two of you grew closer and learned more about each other

↺ It wasn’t long until Aventurine asked you out to dinner, a much more romantic setting compared to late-night bar trips

↻ Aventurine, despite his cunning attitude and sly looks, had a much softer and clingier side to him, you discovered further down the line 

↻ When the two of you started sharing the same bed, cuddling and holding the other close, you learned of the frequent nightmares he often experienced

↺ He hated to admit it, in fact, he never wanted you to find out about the nightmares he faced each night

↺ Those unforgiving and relentless nightmares that opened wounds of the past, were never meant to be shown to you but alas, it was only a matter of time before you found out

-----

It was another night that Aventurine had grown accustomed to. Those unforgiving nights when his past had come back to haunt him in the form of nightmares, in which he woke up in a cold sweat and felt his heart beating out of his chest. Invisible hands seemed to tighten around his throat, the fading heat on that damned mark on his neck lingering for a second too long. It almost made him want to scream and cry, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. 

Not when you were lying peacefully beside him. 

The steady rise and fall of your chest, your incoherent mumbles, and your body heat reassured him that you were there and that you wouldn’t leave his side anytime soon. Yet the shackles of his past still persisted, dragging him into the depths of his own loneliness and despair. 

Aventurine had quietly shuffled off the bed, sitting on the edge while feeling the cool night air filter through the window. He glanced over at a nearby clock and found it to be 1:24 AM, nowhere near daybreak. His shaky hands ran through his hair, eyes shut closed as he tried to stabilize his breathing. 

To his dismay, he felt you move in your sleep, a groggy voice calling out to him from behind.

“…Aventurine..? Are you okay?” 

Aventurine reluctantly looked over his shoulder, plastering that same smile he gave you when the two of you first met.

“Of course, I just needed to use the bathroom.” He lied, yet he knew that you would see through him as you always did. That was the most damning part about you, your ability to read people’s emotions despite any obstacles. 

“…Aventurine, did you have another nightmare?” He heard you speak, your figure moving to sit beside him. He felt your hand gently touch his shoulder, moving to rub comforting circles on his shoulder blades. Aventurine relaxed at your touch.

“I—..sigh… Yes..I did.” Aventurine admitted, his gaze never meeting your own. “It’s the same damn nightmare, nothing special…” 

When his body turned to face yours, you saw the dark circles that began to form from the countless nights he found himself having trouble falling asleep. Your face softened at his disheveled appearance, hands moving to cup his face which he leaned into.

“Oh Aven, you can always tell me when something is bothering you but I’ll never pressure you.” You hummed, fixing his loose strands of hair. “I’ll never leave you to face your troubles alone.”

Aventurine could feel his eyes start to water, but he blinked them away, turning his face to kiss the palm of your hand. 

“Thank you, my love.” 

“Of course.”

There was a brief silence between the both of you but it wasn’t an awkward one. You had moved to let Aventurine lay down, spooning him in your arms which held him close and played with his hair. Although he’d complain about being the little spoon, he would always sink further into your embrace despite his protests. This time, however, he didn’t say a word. 

Aventurine could hear you start to hum a small song, one which he recognized as the song you first performed at the casino. It was a slow and comforting one. Its tunes melted away his previous stress and allowed him to grow lax in your arms.

Your humming combined with the faint sound of your beating heart slowly lulled him to sleep. His eyes started to grow heavy and his breathing had evened. The light strokes of his hair had him leaning towards your touch.

Aventurine could feel himself slipping into the realm of dreams, which would now be filled with scenarios of you. 

At last, his eyes have closed and your humming never ceased, following him into his slumber.

“My thoughts will follow you into your dreams and soothe your worries. Rest well, my dear.”

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ⋙

note - did you guys get the reference at the end? ( ❛ ͜ʖ ❛ )

[nightghoul381]

Sharing the Love

Prompts: Double Penetration, Make-up Sex Pairing: Elbert Greetia x Reader x Alfons Sylvatica Smut | Explicit Content | NSFW | MDNI CW: Polyamory, Nipple play, Rim job, Hand job, Anal sex, PIV, double penetration WC: ~2k

A/N 1: I apologize if it seems disjointed and off lol, I have had a few drinks and have quite a nice buzz going and alas it has caused me to have to once again go into 'it's technically still the 5th' when I finally post this ><

A/N 2: Prompts from @natimiles, @valkyyriia, @candied-boys's Kinktober prompts and @xxsycamore's Visions of Temptation Prompts! Found here and here Thank you guys for putting together such awesome prompts!!

“Elbert?”

You hesitate as you open his door, hoping to see his familiar sapphire blue eyes and yet at the same time also hoping that he might not be here and you won’t have to confront the uncomfortable situation.

“Come along now, Miss robin. No use dallying in the hall.” Alfons’ gently nudges your shoulder and you stumble forward into the dark room.

You feel your breath catch as a dark figure outlined in moonlight comes into view. Elbert stands, staring out the window his face cast in shadow. He doesn’t bother to move as you fully enter his line of sight, but you can see his mouth twist into a frown.

“Now El, it’s not polite to so blatantly ignore your lover like this,” Alfons chides, strolling past you and approaching the sullen man as though unable to feel the tension permeating the air.

Elbert turns his head, making a pointed effort to relay his distaste.

“Oh dear, we’re playing hard to get tonight, are we?” Alfons coos, leaning over his shoulder.

You feel the electricity in the air crackle as Alfons’ provocations meet Elbert’s resistance. This could get bad…

“Um, Al…” You start, only to gasp when Elbert turns his head, eyes blazing with anger and hurt.

“You belong to me. She belongs to me. Why were you together without me?” He chokes, tears brimming in his eyes as he speaks through gritted teeth.

You feel your heart clench painfully seeing your lover looking so utterly heart broken.

“We do belong to you, El. But we belong to each other as well,” Alfons replies, his gloved hand quickly moving to brush away tears from Elbert’s cheek. “Besides, just look at her.”

Al’s hand guide’s Elbert’s face toward you and you feel nervous, unsure of how he would react. When he had first caught you straddling Alfons with your tongue down his throat, he’d been stunned and his eyes had grown dark and distant.

He’s always had a difficult time with this part of your relationship. When you and Alfons had first brought up the idea of polyamory, Elbert was hesitant. His greed reared its ugly head, and he had struggled to wrap his head around the thought of not having complete ownership of each of you. He’d eventually given it a shot, and for the most part it had been working well. Both you and Alfons had time spent individually with Elbert, as well as time when the three of you were together, but this was the first time that Elbert had left you and Alfons alone and the raven-haired man’s seductive gaze had met yours within a matter of seconds after the door had closed.

“I suppose this means I have a turn to have you all to myself, doesn’t it, little Robin?” He’d murmured, curling a finger toward himself and drawing you in with no hesitation on your part. You had felt such a rush of excitement at the prospect you’d been sat on his lap and kissing him ravenously before you’d even realized the door had opened again.

Only when it slammed shut did you break apart, turning quickly and seeing Elbert staring at you in shock and something much darker flared in his eyes before he’d stalked back out the door. He’d not bothered to join you for dinner as he usually did and when you told Alfons that you were worried about him he’d merely chuckled. It was as though he’d been waiting for you to say it and he fished Elbert’s room key out of his pocket, twirling it in his fingers before closing his entire fist around the slender metal object.

“What are we waiting for then?”

--Now here you are, trying to wrack your brain for the right thing to say. You know that you hadn’t done anything wrong but at the same time, you also know that Elbert had been hurt.

When you don’t say anything Alfons sighs amusedly. “Look at her, El. Is there any way you can expect either of us to resist that gorgeous face?”

Elbert’s deep blue eyes fixate on you, his lips parting slightly as his stare moves searchingly across your face.

“Her lips are practically begging to be kissed, don’t you think, El?” Alfons goads, wrapping his arm around Elbert’s shoulder and guiding the delicate man over toward you.

“El… I…” You start, chewing on your lip for a brief moment before you feel is cool fingers against your cheeks as he draws you in, sealing his lips over yours, and you feel your heart begin to race as his kisses become stronger, greedier. His tongue delves into your mouth unprompted, searching and tracing every crevice, ensuring that the only taste that remains is his.

You feel all of the tension in your body melt at once, nearly collapsing against Elbert and returning his ravenous kisses. You’re so engrossed in the kisses that you don’t realize that Alfons has moved behind you, his hands snaking around your waist and sliding up to cup your breasts as he nibbles at your neck. The joint sensations are nothing new, but your body still responds instantly, heat pooling in your belly and your heart racing.

When Alfons rips the front of your shirt open, you hear his voice drop low, “El, I think she needs attention here too. Look how desperate her nipples are for your attention.”

You feel your arms pulled tightly behind your back, lips sucking at your nape, and you gasp.

Elbert draws back, his fevered gaze quickly locking onto your now exposed breasts. “Beautiful,” he muses, lowering his head and latching his lips around one nipple, the other pinched between his cold fingertips and you feel a moan of pleasure escape your throat.

“That’s such a lovely sound, little Robin,” Alfons purrs, locking your wrists in one hand and using the other to pull your head to the side, revealing more of your throat to his searching lips. “Do it again.”

When his teeth scrape against the sensitive skin your voice spills out, unrestrained and loud. The sound seems to trigger something in Elbert and his ministrations become more aggressive. His long, slender fingers make quick work of the rest of your clothes before slipping between your thighs and diving into your already dripping pussy.

When he moans against your nipple, you feel the vibration send sparks shooting through your nerves. At the same time, you hear Alfons chuckle against your throat. “Good idea, El. What do you say we move this reunion to the bed?”

Both men move with practiced synchronicity and you find yourself on your stomach, legs still planted on the floor.

“Isn’t that just the most delicious sight, El?” Alfons groans with his hands sliding over your ass.

“Lick.” Elbert states plainly. You hear Alfons sigh hungrily before a warm wetness joins the hand on your backside.

You look back over your shoulder and tremble at the sight. Elbert’s pants have been shed, his cock being stroked gently by Alfons as the same man’s tongue slides against your skin, nearly meeting your slit but moving back up over the globes of your ass before granting you the pleasure.

When you let out a whiny grunt, you see Elbert’s gaze turn from Alfons’ attentions to your face.

“Do you wish me to touch you as well?” he asks softly. His words are breathy as his length is expertly tended and the pink flush on his porcelain cheeks looks so perfect you feel yourself quiver.

“Yes… please, Elbert,” you breathe. Elbert moves away from Alfons, earning a slightly disgruntled grunt from the raven-haired man.

As soon as Elbert moves closer to you, you reach out to him, kissing one of his lovely thighs and looking up at him with pleading eyes. You want to know that he understands how this relationship works, but more than anything, you want him to forgive you.

“Do you want a taste?” He whispers, letting his cock brush against your cheek and you waste no time taking him into your mouth. At the same time you feel Alfons’ tongue sliding between your cheeks, brushing over the sensitive place hidden within.

You moan loudly against Elbert’s cock, and his own voice filling the room like music, encouraging you to suck more eagerly. He’s so perfect in every way, his size stretching your throat just right and his taste so wonderfully decadent you can’t help but continue to moan with each thrust of his hips. At the same time the blissful sensations that Alfons is granting you has your eyes rolling back and you know that, had your mouth not been filled, you’d be crying out how amazing he’s making you feel.

Suddenly Elbert slides himself out of your mouth, and your moans fill the room as Alfons’ tongue and finger begin to stretch your hidden place in just the right way.

“Is she ready?” Elbert pants, stroking his cock and looking down at Alfons needily.

“She will be with proper lubrication,” Alfons replies, sitting back on his knees and chuckling.

You feel a thrill of excitement as Elbert gently guides you back to your feet. You watch in eager anticipation as Alfons slips a bottle of lubricant oil from his pocket. He steps free of his clothes, his cock hard and heavy in his palm as he slicks the oil over it. He positions himself on his back, his ashen eyes staring you with unbridled desire as he continues to stroke himself.

“Come here, little Robin.” He commands, spilling some of the oil onto his hand. You take position, straddling his hips while facing toward Elbert at the foot of the bed. Alfons slips his now slick fingers into your ass, massaging you slowly while Elbert’s mouth eagerly attends to your face.

When you feel Alfons’ tip at your secret entrance, you let your head fall back, moaning and focusing on remaining relaxed as he fills you. Your shoulders are gently pulled backward and you lay against Al’s chest. Feeling his hot length buried inside you sends a thrill through your core and you stare up at Elbert breathing heavily.

He looks down to where you and Alfons are joined, frowning slightly until you beg.

“Elbert, please! I need you…ngh…. I want to feel your cock inside me.

His brilliant gem-like eyes flare with desire and you feel him sink into your cunt, filling you completely and you can feel the bulge in your stomach indicating how deeply he’s penetrating you.

“Oh, fuck… Elbert please!” You moan, arching back against Alfons below you as both men begin to thrust in alternating patterns. The fullness within you has every nerve screaming with euphoria and you can’t keep yourself quiet. You don’t want to keep yourself quiet.

Instead you scream your lovers’ names as they fuck you brutally, expressing their emotions: hurt, pain, need, desire, greed. Every sensation sending ripples of erotic need through you and you feel yourself so quickly approaching your climax.

Elbert’s movements are so aggressive, so unlike his normally docile self. He’s making a point to show you who you belong to and you know that Alfons is enjoying ever second of this from the erotic whispers of bliss filling your ears.

“Make-up sex is some of the best sex one can have, don’t you think little Robin,” he croons, thrusting his cock deep into you and groaning as he fully sheathes himself within your ass.

You’re unable to answer him, your mind already spinning with pleasure and when you feel Elbert’s fingers begin to massage your clit while Alfons fondles your breasts you know you’re not able to hold back any longer.

Your orgasm rushes through you, leaving you screaming in delight as you’re fucked through wave after wave of euphoria.

“Mmm, you feel so tight, so good…” Elbert whimpers, while Alfons’ mouth whispers dirty praise into your ear.

You feel your mind go blank and your eyes roll back, completely consumed by ecstasy as your lovers continue to fuck you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

When you finally regain some sense of self, you feel your body laying limply against the bed, four arms wrapped possessively around you while their owners suck at each other’s faces above your head.

You breathe a sigh of relief at the knowledge that Elbert is no longer upset with either of you, and you feel the sense of peace quickly taking over your body, making you relax and you feel sleep soon steal your consciousness away again.

Taglist: @aquagirl1978, @queengiuliettafirstlady, @floydsteeth, @themiscarnival?

Let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist!

[28gaugeshotgunshells]

TWO'S COMPANY THREE'S A CROWD

.- TWD, Rick Grimes x F!Reader x Shane Walsh -.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: I think this will be at least two parts, but enjoy the first for now! This is written as a bit of an AU? lol, not sure how to exactly describe it. Reader is in Lori's place and it is set during mid or so season 2. I started TWD awhile ago and wanted to write for it. I've never really posted my works before, so hopefully this will be enjoyable for y'all. --------------------------------------------------

Above the sanctuary that was Hershel's farm, was the marmalade sky; perfectly painted with the color of the setting sun. Gentle clouds existed there, and the sight almost made you forget about the disquiet horrors that laid just outside the property line.

A tired sigh falls past your lips as your now callused fingers dig into the damp fabric of the shirt you sit and wash. A dark ragged cloth is clutched in your hand as you use it to scrub and scrub at the clashing red marred into the cerulean material.

Blood.

In the past, you'd only ever really see it when Carl got a bloody nose or whenever you managed to get a paper cut. Now it was anything but a rare sight. As your thoughts wander, your gaze pins into soapy scrubbed out shirt below, eyes burning into the stain. You knew it would never come out, and yet you still promptly dunked it into the cool water of the bucket below. Because you still had to try.

Try and hope. It felt like that's all you ever did anymore, two things that never ever guaranteed pay off. You swish the shirt around in the lukewarm water below, being faintly reminded of the washer you used to have; the haunt of the sweet domesticity you used to know ravaging your mind, possibly even sanity.

"..." You sigh out the built up inner tension, and switch your focus towards wringing out this shirt. Your hands diligently work to twist and curl the wet fabric, squeezing out the water it holds inside.

The only thing interrupting the motions you go through however is the distinct noise of crunching grass, one that usually alluded to nearby footsteps. Your head turns, preferring not to be ignorant to what the source was.. just in case. Although as soon as you spot the source in question, you curse the curiosity driven by your own paranoia.

It was Shane, his figure standing tall and imposing. Most of his impose being due to.. your history. His deceit about the death of your husband, what the both of you shared amidst his lie, the stinging sentiment you felt at the mere thought of him.

God, you really didn't want to talk to him right now.

Your grip on the shirt tightens as you swiftly turn your head back around, stand up, and then speed walk away towards the clothes line. hopefully he'd take the hint from your cold shoulder move. Alas, that hope of yours was severely underestimating just how stubborn Shane Walsh could be.

Within an instant you heard the simple crunches of grass become more urgent as Shane increased his charge towards you. He called out your name, his tone commanding and yet speckled with a sort of desperateness. He wanted you to hear him out.

"Hey hey- Let me tell you somethin'!"

No. You weren't going to do this, not today. He knew you were upset with him, why couldn't he just let you be? And so, without stopping you reach the clothes line and throw up the newly washed shirt, dead set on ignoring Shane.

It was regrettably, not as easy as that though, because as soon as you turned around you were face to face with the former officer. Instantly your face scrunched in annoyance as your mouth flew open to protest his presence, maybe even to berate him, but Shane spoke quicker.

"No no no- wait, just a minute. We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you." You practically growled back as you hurriedly move to leave.

He steps directly in your way, hands reaching out and grasping your hips. "(Name)."

You hiss at him, "Don't touch me!"

This earns an exasperated sigh from him, "Ho-"

"WHUT!" You hear a shout from the distance, your heads turn instantly. It's Rick and he is MAD. "WHUT THE HULL!" Rick comes running full speed at you guys, and while Shane's distracted you take the opportunity to shake him off and step back.

"SHANE WAT ARE YOU DOIN' MANE!?" Rick says super mad as he speed walks over with his hands on his hips.

"NAWRICAHEASHABWALKOVERHERAAA!" Shane shouts back!!

You have no fucking clue what he's saying because his accent goes crazy!

"NAWWSHANEDONTYOUHAHABHAWSAYINGTHATANMMAYY!! YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MAH WIFE!" Rick shouts back.

"YOU KNOW I'M THE BETTER MANE RICK!!" Then Shane and Rick get so mad they press their foreheads together and start shouting a bunch of southern insults.

"You're an egg-suckin' dawg, Shane lemme tell you what!!" Rick shouts.

"Oh nawh mane!" Shane yells back, "YOUR FACE REMINDS ME OF A RUN-DOWN HONKY TONK!!"

"AY AY AY!" Rick growls Rick throws his right hook at Shane, knocking the other on his ass. Then Shane lunges forward like a fury-filled Chihuahua and tackles Rick to the grass.

"YOU BETTER STOP!! STOP!!" You shout to no avail, watching in anger as the two bros duke it out on the ground.

You get so mad that you pick up a large rock and hurl it at Rick's butt, earning a loud "OW!!!!!!" It doesn't stop them though.

Luckily though, you aren't the only ones on the farm and soon enough Hershel comes running out onto the grounds. "OH NOAT ON MAH FARM!" Hershel says, storming over.

"Hershel you have to stop them!" You plead to the old man, wanting help with their outburst.

"STOP IT YOU TURDBURGULARS! YOU-" then Hershel says a REALLY REALLY bad word and it makes you gasp and cover your mouth in shock.

You look over at Rick and Shane and they are also really shocked, instantly they stop fighting and take ten steps away from eachother. Shane looks.. traumatized, but Rick looks pissed!

Apparently Maggie was there too because you see her storm up behind Hershel. "Dad!!! You can't say that!" She whisper shouts at him all mad.

"OH JUST WAIT UNTIL MAH TWITTER FOLLOWERS HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE!" Rick roars, clearly offended.

Then Maggie ushers Hershel off, leading him back into the house quickly. They BASICALLY run away to avoid Rick cancelling them. Distantly you hear Hershel shouting about how "Itsa mah farm!" and "I miss the old days!"

You're also pretty sure you heard him let out a large old man fart, and then you saw a lump form in the back of his pants.. But anyway! You hear loud aggressive breathing and you look back at Shane and Rick who are both now pissed again. You think Rick knows you cheated now.. you didn't want to deal with that.. so...

"Sorry guys Sophia wanted me to braid her hair today." You say before dinking away as fast as possible.

"But Sophia is gone.." Shane whispers quietly to himself.... as he stares at your butt disappearing into the distance..

As you dink away you sigh in relief, literally thanking god that you didn't have to deal with those bumfucks! Although.. you aren't relieved for long because suddenly just then your stomach starts hurting like a bitch!

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME!" You shout at your belly as you boom over next to Dale's RV.

You fall to the ground and clutch your stomach in pain. Oh no.. Diarrhea! You prep yourself for a shart or something but then you just end up puking so you're like oh ok. You hurl into the grass next to the trailer and it kind of gets all over the side of Dale's RV because you don't puke straight down EVER. After like a minute of straight hurling, you finally finish and then Dale jumps out of the RV.

You look up at him from the ground.. his jaw is dropped and his eyes are fully widened. "HOLY COW! I almost thought I was in the exorcist for a minute!" He exclaims.

"Um what..." You reply.. cringe...

"Are you okay?" Dale asks.

"Yes." You reply, not wanting to talk about it..

"Marriage problems..?" Dale asks again..

"How did you know?!" You reply, finally looking up at him in surprise.

Dale shrugs, "I don't know I just guessed."

"Um okay Dale.."

Then Dale comes up next to you and crouches, placing a sweaty hand on your shoulder. "So.. (Name).. It's very common for married couples to fight when the hankypanky gets boring.." He begins. "I am actually a twister champion just so you know.."

"No Dale."

"Aw.."

Dale looks down at the ground all sad. "At least tell Rick I like his armpits."

"NO DALE!"

"Aw.." Then Dale walks back into the trailer.

You shake your head! Bro was wilding after his crazy wife died! First the exorcist and now he's trying to form a threesom- wait.. the exorcist.. Your eyes trail up to the puke on the RV. You remember what the bathrooms always looked like while you were pregnant with Carl.. insanely puke ridden. OH NO! WAS SHANE EVEN PULLING OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUMP AND DUMPING?! (dumping turds and wasting all the toilet paper btw)

Immediately you jump upwards, you run all the way over to Daryl's hobo homeless core set up on the side of the farm. You see Daryl sitting on the ground next to a weird little stick built fire.. he was diddling with a dead rabbit.

"EW!" You gag at the sight. "UGH! DARYL!"

"WHut!" Daryl shouts back, angry as always.

"I NEED YOU TO GO ON A RUN!" You hiss.

"OH HELL NAW OLIVE OIL YO ASS TRIPINGN!" Daryl roars back, clearly not going to do what you ask. What a WHORE!

"URRGGH!! FUCK OFF!" You flip him off, run up to his fire, kick dirt in it to make it go out and then you run away to find Glenn.

"WHERE IS HE.. WHERE IS HE!!" You search the farm like a hawk as you look around for that sumabitch.

IT TAKES YOU LIKE 7 MINUTES BUT EVENUTALLY YOU SPOT HIM DOING SOMETHING YOU DONT CARE WHAT HE'S DOING WHATEVER!! You run up to him.

"Glenn! There you are!" You hiss at him. He looks so confused and concerned.

"Uh- wha- huh?"

"I NEED YOU TO GO ON A RUN FOR ME DAMMIT!"

He flinches slightly when you shout, clearly surprised at how you're directing your random fury onto him. ".. For what?"

You calm down a bit as you pause to explain the predicament at hand.. you take in a deep breath.. "Well it's a special stick that changes patterns when you go pee on it.."

[mitsybubbles]

Age swap Serizawa and Tome edit

Plus some ideas I wrote about it below after talking at lenght about it with @acekindaneat

Tome runs spirits and such but keeping herself at a small distance because she’s terrified of sharing with other people and being dismissed so it’s a way of doing things “herself” but she’s not a psychic even though she wants to be and she needs People. Because of this she’s a little more interested in pursuing urban legends cases, haunting cases, or mysteries and tends to be disappointed if there is a normal explanation for it

Serizawa is a former shut in who was coaxed out by Tome after his mom hired her (since she claimed to be a psychic consultant) and is currently “training” him in his abilities. He just moved to a new middle school and is very anxious about being a member of society and fitting in without losing control again

Reigen is a year below Serizawa at their school and acts like a normal student during class hours and is well liked but not close to anyone but after hours he spends his time trying to “become someone of note” because he feels isolated by the norms of society. He keeps getting obsessed with and switching hobbies every other week. His current one when the story starts is private investigation. His sister is a year above Serizawa and is a top student

Mob is a NEET in who hid himself away after his powers caused several accidents and fractured his relationship with his younger brother. He only leaves to get amenities and he relies on his parents support or on a work at home job for money

Dimple is a new spirit who doesn’t know what his place in the world is yet. He doesn’t have a human form or memories but he still has human desires and impulses so he feels out of place in it.

-Serizawa finds Reigen researching into the LOL cult after he joined it hoping to make some friends and they both get sucked into the supernatural conspiracy behind it. Reigen realizes Seri is a psychic and decides he’s now into the occult and demands his boss hire him and drags him to Tome’s office

- Tome meeting adult Mezato and then coming to blows ala Reigen and Roshuuto because Tome is annoyed that Mezato is seeking out the occult “because she’s bored”

-Serizawa being cajoled by Toichirou to join his little gang and Serizawa actually enjoying it and seeing claw as his friends even tho he felt guilty about hurting other gang members but “it’s okay because Master Kurata says it’s okay to protect yourself from bad people right?” Also he was given the umbrella as a gift and Tome and Reigen notices how much Seri’s been using it and Tone mostly goes “huh you’re skills are coming along ig” because while shes supportive she also isn’t very attentive and Reigen’s more suspicious because seirzawa is spending less time with him. Due to being scared that his first real friend would leave him, Reigen is a little threatened by that so he lashes on seri. They argue and seri stops hanging with reigen. Then reigen feels bad and decides to apologize and gets caught by Toichi + co in a small hazing ritual to get seri to stop comparing himself as the same level as “commoners” by denouncing his friendship with a nonesper. So then they fight when seri refuses to and finally seri insists that he doesn’t have to be stronger or weaker than anyone else to get to have proper connections and he breaks the umbrella saving Reigen from crossfire

And then later Reigen feels bad about everything (and he also realizes Toichirou was right that he was only friends with seri because he was an esper) so he gives seri some pokemon cards playing it off by saying he had those laying around his room and gets thrown off when Seri is openly emotional about it and hugs him. Meanwhile Toichirou is reevaluating everything because everyone sort of ditched him after he wasn’t giving them smth in return (except Hatori sort of lol- Hatori likes his presence Enough and the StuCo leader Joseph who was trying to get him suspended)

Minegeshi is like 20 here and runs a flower shop that the kids hang out in. It’s probably destroyed now. Sorry my dude.

-Reigen wanting to search for the dragger after his sister tells him he can’t keep “goofing around” otherwise his parents will force him to settle on an proper interest

-Some kids hiring Tome to find a “ghost” that lives on their street and it ended up being Mob who refuses to interact with them in a meaningful way. Seri makes it his mission to help him. Serizawa wants to ‘prove’ hes better now by helping someone like him but then he and Mob make a connection and Serizawa understands that he has to let Mob accept himself and make that step himself.

Also Tome shows Mob the benefits of releasing one’s emotions in a safe space.

-Reigen and Mob meet at the office and really hit it off

-Teru hiring the gang to come exercise a spirit in his TV studio and he and Mob end up fighting because he thought he was the best esper ever, you know the deal. And meanwhile Tome and the kids deal with the spirit of Mogami who was a psychic child star that haunted Teru and possessed Minori because he’s jaded by people who lie and use others to get notoriety

-Roshuuto is like a wannabe popular kid that annoys the hell out of Reigen because he pretends to be people’s friends and dumps them for someone better and now he’s trying to do occult stuff for clout

-Hoshida is an exorcist without any powers that we know of but he’s really nice and genuinely cares about helping others. He’s one of Tome’s informants

-Separation arc where Tome closed spirits and such briefly after Serizawa leaves to “be a normal kid” for a while because she thinks she won’t find anything meaningful about the paranormal she was searching for because she’s only humoring people- it ends up with her meeting people from middle and highschool she fell out of touch with because of simmilar things and her realizing she should continue to do whatever she loves and she should also pay more attention to the kid who she genuinely cares for and vice versa even if he isn’t going along with her whims 24/7

-Mob trying to reconnect with Ritsu

-Confession arc where Serizawa injures his mother in an incident after he thought he was doing “better” so he runs away and has to confront his own powers- and Tome having to come to an understanding with him too

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

For the pairings can you talk about The Prototype and Angel? Your interpretation of them has me in a choke hold lol

I'M SOOO HAPPY I ALSO HAVE YOU IN A CHOKEHOLD, THESE TWO HAVE CONTAMINATED ME WITH THEIR SILLINESS.

They're parallels and mirrors of each other. Angel could have become the Prototype, and the Prototype could have become Angel, if only the circumstances were different. They share similar grief and a deep feeling of alienation: Proto for being the first one and the only one that's as crooked and weird as he is, and Angel for being both an immigrant and a queer person in the USA. Grief for losing loved ones, Angel with their friends/coworkers and the Prototype for seeing his loved ones become nothing but experiments of a company he made from scratch. I could go on and on about their similarities and differences, but in the end the conclusion is the same: They KNOW each other. They KNOW how similar they are and they just Get each other, and to me this is sooo fun to explore and think abt whenever I talk abt them!

Also like. They're literally the parents of a household with almost 90 kids (numbers will prob grow once we get the official Chapter 4, but alas). Sure that it takes a while for Proto to be promoted to parent #2, but DANG, THEY ARE THE PARENTS. Two best friends who decided the best course of action was to get legally married bc this would provide some extra protection for the kids if anything bad ever happened to Angel!!!!!! AND SPEAKING OF BEST FRIENDS.

Angel loves annoying the Prototype and the kids. Their love language is being a menace (just ask their parents and Miguel about it), and after a while Proto both gets used to it AND starts annoying Angel back. What is a friendship but an excuse to be awful in an affectionate way. Angel will forever bully the Prototype for not realizing the critters were all alive, and in turn he's literally going to drag them to random places so they can stop working for ONCE. They have the same dad humor, by the way, much to the horror of some of the kids. They're besties!!!! I have said this a thousand times but they are besties!!!!! Only Proto knows some of the shit Angel went through, only Angel knows the things Proto went through. The torture the scientists made him stand, what he did and thought and felt the decade after the Hour of Joy, everything. Angel tells him about how sometimes they think they aren't enough for the kids, or how they fear they're being either too harsh with them, or how awful their last nightmare was.

Also to me the funniest phase of their relationship happens after Angel realizes that, unfortunately, they want a QPR with the Prototype. Like. They're all "I can't fucking believe this, I doubt he would accept the offer if I explained I may want something more but not the romance part of it" and "how the fuck do I explain to him that I value our friendship more than anything and I think it's something different than all of my other friendships without it sounding weird as fuck". Because Angel DID tell him what a QPR was, but they doubt Proto would want something like that. And then it cuts to him like "hm I think there might be something else to this friendship, but not romantic in nature. We may have achieved a deeper bond than anything I have ever had before, friendship-wise". Disaster of a human person vs scientist DESPERATELY wanting more affection. It's SO funny to me.

also like. Post-officially-becoming-a-QPR-couple. HILARIOUS. They pull the "we're partners" thing whenever it's convenient even if it involves pretending to be a romantic couple. They have no idea how it works. These two 100% do the "ask your other dad" thing in order to annoy one of the kids into going back-and-forth between them until said kid goes "stop doing that!!!" and then Angel has to control their laughter. Nothing really changes post-that except that now Angel sometimes gives him a kiss, they got too used to using Proto as a giant teddy bear by the point the QPR happens. Proto, however, now has excuses to just grab Angel and give them a hug without feeling weird for doing so [he's awkward when asking for affection in general].

[anonbinaryweirdo]

"try not to cry when im gone" hu tao x reader

(angst, hurt/comfort? she still dies tho lol), reader having bad thoughts, sloppy transition, hu tao comforts reader, reader cries, one or two mentions of zhongli

gn reader, unspecified pronouns or descriptions for reader. writer cried

imagine an immortal reader, who knows of their fate with Hu Tao, but has yet to accept it with a full mind

or at all, really.

you sit there, teacup heavy in your hand as you stare at the fire ahead. once again were you reminded of your immortality, but your mind could only immediately drift off to your lover, who was the opposite.

a human. a mortal.

she was bound to die, and you would have to live on, without her, one day. it was inevitable. you wouldn't even know when you'd see her new face again, decades—maybe even centuries later. you probably wouldn't even get the chance to meet her in her new life.

you sigh, just thinking about it. setting down your cup and running a hand down your face, you hold your breath. maybe this was a dream. you'd wake up one day, with identical grey hairs, wrinkles all over. maybe you could be buried next to one another.

alas, you were so lost in thought, you didn't even notice the extra presence in the room, until you felt a pair of hands covering your eyes, the metal of the rings she adorned just barely grazing your skin—yet, you could still feel how cool it was.

"guess who~!" came a giggle from behind. you could never get enough of hearing it, a smile making its way onto your face almost immediately as it rang through your ears.

you couldn't help laughing a little, rolling your eyes behind her palms. "welcome home, Hu Tao," you greet, as normal. it was genuine, the way you felt around her. especially whenever you got to welcome her back under the roof you shared. a place you both cared for, and could call your home. although, you were quite certain that home was only really found whenever you were with Hu Tao. without her to live there with you, it'd merely be a house. not a home.

Hu Tao skips over in front of where you sat, a small grin on her face. you could tell she was a bit tired, though. yet, her lips were still quirked up, despite the fact. you loved it. "were ya missing me already, butterfly?" she asked, looking over you. "because, i must say, you looked mighty bored and lonely before I snuck up on you."

and, as though it were an automated response, you respond quickly, "I'm always bored and lonely whenever you're gone." and it was true, as 'sappy' as it sounded. you needed someone like Hu Tao in your everyday life to lift you up, even when you weren't particularly feeling 'blue'.

"well," the director hummed, helping herself to straddling over your lap, wrapping her arms around you as she rested her chin on your shoulder. your hand moves to take off her hat, setting it aside before moving your fingers through her hair. she closed her eyes, melting—ironically enough—into your touches. "I can't blame you," she continued, chuckling a little, "I mean, without me, you'd be miserable. oh, what would you do without me?" you knew it was a joke, but still.

it was true.

your hand paused in her hair, and your expression slowly fell to what it was before she walked through that door. can you imagine, having to life without her? having to live, what you could only hope wasn't for the rest of your life—from the time your eyes flutter open at the crack of dawn, and when they close into peace once more when moonlight illuminates the land—without her?

you couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like, if you hadn't seen her smile everyday. true, yes, her smile wouldn't be there every second of the day... no, she had her days when she felt so little about herself, and that smile turned upside down into something else. there were even times her eyeliner would smudge down her face in streaks. but, she still managed to smile. seeing her face was enough.

unfortunately, for you, the girl happened to take notice of your silence, and looked back at you with big red eyes, mixing with both curiosity and concern—even as she tried to play it off. "hey, now, " she laughed lightly. "why the long face? you look like a little puppy, hehe. am I boring you, or something? I don't think I've ever seen you so—"

her voice died down as she saw the way your eyebrows scrunched up, her eyes looking over your face. she saw how sad your eyes look—and how they weren't as bright as she loved them. the way you stared down at your lap, biting the inside your lip. you were deep in your thoughts, and they didn't seem to be happy ones. she didn't like that.

"...hey," she spoke quietly. she cupped your face, making you look at her. and, instantly, you were lost in those eyes.

who wouldn't get lost in them, honestly? they were so pretty, so very magnificent in so many ways you couldn't even begin to explain. and those stars...those stars were the cherry on top. they shined so bright, brighter than any real star could ever. but...eventually, even stars come to their ends, right?

"butterfly...whats the matter? why do you seem so blue?"

she was so sweet. you couldn't help it,arms caging around her in a desperate hug. you were certain, that, letting go would result in her not being there anymore. like she'd turn into particles, and fly out the window. you didn't want that. you couldn't have it.

"[name], what—" "im not ready for you to die."

the words flew past your lips before you could stop them. you squeezed your eyes shut as you nuzzled your nose further into her hair. you inhale deeply, the breath coming out in a shaky sigh. as much as you felt like wanting to, you couldn't cry. especially not here, in front of her, right now. you wouldn't dare let her see you so weak. so—

"is that what this was about?" Hu Tao inquired suddenly, making you hold your breath. your answer—the silence and a tremble of your shoulder—was enough said.

her arms wrapped around you, and it was enough for you to breathe. "don't cry," she hushes you, tenderly rubbing her palm up and down your back. "I don't want you to be sad when I'm dead. in fact, I want you to be happy."

your eyebrows furrow, and you lift your head, looking up at her. "what?" you question, not believing what she just said. "how can you...how can you even say that with a straight face? if I lose you, t-then—"

"then you'll be okay," she cuts you off, kissing your forehead. she leaned back. and smiled. "you'll be fine when I'm gone, because I know you'll be at peace with knowing that I'm resting well, knowing that it was I that you created memories with, and not anyone else in either of our places."

you sat there, listening to her voice. it always was so lovely, wasn't it?

"I'm going to be watching over you as a ghost," she promised, "and once you feel that familiar air, you'll know it's me."

"you should also be at peace, knowing that I'm resting well...because of you. you were the reason for my true happiness, and for that, I..." Hu Tao huffed, taking your hands in hers. "I should be the one crying over my death. I mean, I won't even get to interact with you—I'll be transparent! which is absolutely awful, I mean, can you imagine me going a day without your arms around moi? really."

she smiled as you managed a little laugh at her attempt to brighten the mood. "there it is!" she cheered, softly. "see? that's exactly how I want your face to look, during my final breath, and every moment after, okay?"

you sniffled, leaning into her palm as she strokes your cheek with her thumb, wiping away your tears. "no promises," you whisper, turning your head to kiss her palm. she groans, "well, at least try. what type of person would you be to not at least make an effort to live up to something?"

you shake your head, rolling your eyes. your hands find their way to her waist, and you lean up, capturing her lips. she returned your kiss, not backing away until you do. and that's not until you hear a small pattern of quiet thuds on the window, catching both of your attention.

"hm," she hummed, "it's raining pretty hard." Hu Tao chuckled, holding you close, "I'm glad I got home in time, or else I'd be drenched."

"yeah.." you agree.

you sigh, staring at the ground. "I'm the one getting drenched," you mutter under your breath. you could vividly recall that conversation. it was one of the good ones.

you feel a hand on your shoulder, but you don't turn to look. "I'm sorry," says the consultant of the wangsheng funeral parlor, sympathizing with you.

you don't answer immediately, but he can make out a quiet 'thank you' as he leaves to give you your space, allowing you to stare at the stone in peace.

you look up, closing your eyes as the rain falls down on your face. "I wonder if you can see me yet," you whisper.

a smile graces your lips, feeling a gust of wind push past you.

you chuckle dryly, tears getting mixed in with the rain. another gust of wind.

"..i tried, didn't I?"

and then another.

Oliver is a little bitch tell me why I cried

[primadonnas-ofthegutter]

Lol I said top five you gave me seven characters lmao. Okay easier top five ainme shows..... and go.....

Easier!?!? The fuck! Babe it’s not easy. I LOVE ANIME.

I will try… I guesss… if I have to choose five. I’ll go off of some of my current watches or reoccurring favorites! *based on anime not manga! I haven’t read any of them 💜 but I tired not to share any spoilers! So be mindful if you are watching anything!!

1. One Piece

It is so good. Like 🙌🏻 Anyone who says it’s not worth the amount of episodes, then fine watch the new one coming out because it’s updated art and they made it shorter! So there ya go. SUCH A GOOD STORY 🥹

2. Apothecary Diaries

I love this show 🥹😭 the main character is so funny. But I also love how she shows royalty and those in power how life is for those less fortunate. Even if she doesn’t intend, or want to cause trouble.

3. Laid-Back Camp

I am obsessed with this show. 😭😭 It is such a feel good and calming show. I love nature and I love the cooler season so it’s perfect 😭🥹

4. Romantic Killer

Sadly a Netflix Anime but 😮 it’s so worth it. I love the main character and as a Taurus I understand her stubbornness. But I also love how she takes care of those she’s loves 🥹🥹🥹🥹

5. Signs of Affection/DanMachi

I could not pick one between these two! I really like Bell as a lead, but signs of affection has sign language which I am fluent in ASL and I loved so much!! So good 😭

* special mention:

DanDaDan

I love this show, but I also hate this show a little. Remember I have not read the manga… but I can not get past the first episode. I am current and watching and I did not let the first episode derail me but DUDE. They should have had trigger warning on that episode. 1000% and I don’t know if we needed to make a 15 year old go through that for power. Idk just felt like it went too far.

However. I liked how it related back to why turbo granny was in the tunnel and the horrors faced in the past.

I have an idea that the yoki are all going to have horrible back stories. Humans are cruel after all… but alas.

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Warning: mentions of anxiety

Part 3

The drive to your apartment was quite awkward, mingyu dropped you off and you guys parted ways saying bye.

There was a longing in Mingyu's heart.. he really had prayed and hoped that you both will get along, may be will go on few more dates to know each other . But alas that didn't happen.

After going home you showered and made yourself some quick dinner ...you were eating when you got Chan's call, at that moment all you wanted to do was curse at him shout at him so you picked up his call, " you should've told me if you had a death wish why pull such a stunt chan? " you were talking so calmly he got scared "hey why are you talking like that you're scaring meeee"

"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE THE MOMENT I SEE YOU IM GOING TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID , YOU SENT ME ON A DATE WITH KIM MINGYU DO YOU KNOW WHO HE'S? LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE ATLEAST WARNED ME , IM NOT A CELEBRITY IM A NORMAL PERSON-"

He cut you off "FIRST OF ALL STOP SHOUTING..and what's wrong with it if he's a celebrity and you're not? I'm also an idol and you're bestfriends with me I don't see any problem here? And about the other thing ..y/n I'm really sorry I lied about it being a blind date but if I had told you you'd have said no.. he really likes you ,that idiot thought we both are a thing can you imagine lol, and then I guessed that he likes you and he didn't deny so I came up with this plan ...also he thought you knew and said yes to the date with him ,he didn't know okayy? He might be coming for me I'm so dead ...see.. I worked so hard for you and you're not even grateful-,"

You huffed loudly "Grateful my a$$.. you should not do this with anyone's feelings chan he must've felt so bad he thought I said yes and was all excited do you know how bad Im feeling?"

Now chan got alarmed , "hold on, why are you feeling so bad? WAIT TF UP DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE SAY NO TO HIM ??? I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N-"

And now in this one fine moment your pretty brain realised you gotta tell chan ..AND WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM ???? OMG ...I said no to Mingyu because I like you? Because I like someone else? He knows literally everyone in your life and would not believe your lie and now you're freaking out you don't even have mingyu's number, what if you tell one lie and mingyu tells another you'd be caught right away so no you need to talk to Mingyu.

So you blurt out, "N-NOOO we just- we just went through it...AND OMG I'M REMEMBERING IT JUST NOW I left my purse in his car and I don't even have his number IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT send me his number right nowww" and you saved the moment just like that (you hoped it didn't sound too fake or extra)

Chan thinks something is fishy but thinks he'll find out anyway so he doesn't press you anymore.."you couldn't even ask for his number yourself seriously y/n you've got no game-" That brat thrives on teasing and annoying you.

"if you don't shut up and just send me his number right now you won't only have to worry about mingyu coming for you... sleep with one eye open cause I'm also coming for you-"

He laughs at you, " ok, okay let's all calm down..check your messages I sent the number..also you owe me full explanation and details tomorrow"

"whateverrrr bye."

"hey atleast tell me how was the date."

"NO.. someone once said *That's all you're getting* " you quoted his words from when you asked him about who is gonna be your date.

He whined about how that wasn't fair before you ended the call.

You were nervous as fuvk because what are you going to say to Mingyu it already feels bad enough but now you've to come up with a plan to tell chan. So before chan could go to Mingyu,you called him.

After dropping you off Mingyu went to his and wonwoo's shared apartment, where as soon as he entered wonwoo asked him about the date. Mingyu said it was okay, good, wonwoo then asked him why does he look so sad ..mingyu said he doesn't think it'll work out that's why ..and asks wonwoo to not to tell others about anything because he knew just like that all of them will know, that means chan will know as well and he promised you he would not let him know,he'll keep it a secret.

He was about to go to bed when you called him he was surprised but he picked up the call.

"uh Hello Mingyu? It's me y/n ...sorry ,did I disturb you?"

"Hey no you didn't ..what's up everything ok? "

"yeah everything's fine just uh Chan called me actually and I don't know what to tell him..I just I thought we should tell him the same thing so he wouldn't doubt ...I'm sorry I feel terrible to trouble you like this".

"I told you not to say sorry ..you can talk to me comfortably just how you talk to your friends it's ok .. "

"okay I won't say sorry again."

He smiled a little ..he has never talked to you that much, that too on call it's first time hearing your voice..he thinks you sound so sweet and he wishes he'd get to talk to you more often.."hmm that's good ..also about chan what options do we have?"

"if I say I like someone else he won't believe me so that's out of the option ..and If I say I said no he'll ask me the reason.." you sighed "I can't seem to find any reason to tell him"

"I see um then...we can just say we decided to be just friends? "

"that sounds good" you thought that's the safest answer.

"yeah soo.. is it ok for us to be friends? " He really wanted you to say yes .. he'd manage with just that.. being your friend.

You can't see him yet you can picture his hopeful eyes..."will you be ok?..with being my friend" You ask.

Mingyu thinks a little ..he thinks he'll take it as much as close he'll be able to stay with you he'll take it, it is dangerous but right now his heart,mind, soul everything just decides that yes they want it..

"Honestly, I've mostly seen you from distance yet I thought you were amazing so..I...I would like to be your friend and who knows someday you'll realise I'm hotter than chan and finally confess to me ..wow I would like to see that day." He's mischievously smiling right now and then he hears it your laugh..one of his most favourite things in the world ..he could hear it forever.

You laugh.."Mingyu seriously" he also laughs a little with you.

"I'd like to be your friend too mingyu but ...I know how it's like to be friends with someone you like..and I wouldn't recommend that ...it can be hard sometimes." You don't want to think about those moments again when you're trying to move on but you wouldn't want mingyu to feel like that as well.

He sighs," well I'm a tough guy " he's not...but he'd do anything to get to know you better ..he doesn't want to regret anything in his life.

"Ok then it's settled ... we're friends from now on"...you're smiling now

"yeah we are ...I like it" he's smiles softly.

.

.

Author's note: Hey everyone this is it for today, hope you enjoy it❤️

Part 4 👇🏻

[meanbossart]

A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)

It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!

{MORE UNDER THE CUT]

HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻

I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.

As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!

I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.

Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!

Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.

My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.

Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!

I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.

In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man

Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol

That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.

JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.

Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.

[dykementality]

forgive me if you're not interested, but I'd actually love to hear more of your thoughts on the maroon arc, what you thought was/wasn't done well. would u like to share?

hii i didnt see this. im gonna apologize right away bc this is not gonna be organized i have talked soooo much today already and im tired lol.

for starters what i think was done best is flint and madis dynamic. its incredibly well played both as individual characters and as representatives of pirates and maroons in relation to empire. their chemistry is crazy and their dialogues are extremely didactic. i also find that flint not immediately viewing the maroons as natural allies but as tools to reach his own purposes and later deconstructing that after getting involved with them aggregates to his ongoing theme of progressive radicalization which i think is also a highlight of the maroon arc in the way it makes it explicit for good that his political stance has done a 360 and is now entirely discordant from the one he had as a lieutenant in every aspect that matters. freeing and partnering with the maroons is expected after that and i dont think theres anything special on that regard. then the shitty parts are essentially everything else. especially steinberg admitting he stalled to really explore the topic of slavery due to not being in his element as a white guy but still not putting black people on the team to do it. this reflects very obviously in the show and makes the entire arc feel rushed and reticent besides leaving a billion loose threads and missing opportunities to appropriately explore character dynamics that couldve been way more interesting (such as silver/julius/flint & madi/eme & madi/eleanor & eleanor/scott) and really engage confidently in the impact that flint and the pirates having canonically sold slaves would have had in their relationship. speaking of julius i also very much felt like it was a tragedy to hinder his presence and had they started it earlier or extended it longer his perspective on war vs. protecting his community as opposed to madi’s for example would have been probably my favorite part of the arc. i know the version in my head of it is. all in all its a vital arc for the story and everyone slayed really hard with with they had i just wish the creators hadnt shied away from all the implications of it. if i had the energy to go look for some posts for u i would bc my mutuals have definitely also discussed this before but alas. thanks for asking anyways feel free to add ur own thoughts or question mine further

[cryptidcorners]

Old Friend — Prince!Derek Danforth x GN!Reader [ Part 1/? ]

Description: A royal ball celebrating the end of a decade of pure isolation between Houses brings you and an old acquaintance together once again.

# No Request

# A.N: I'm literally gushing over DND here, lol! There's sm story shit. it's more lore explaining than actual romantic stuff, SOOO. sorry. hope you enjoy the AU pfft

Media: The Beekeeper [ AU ]

Character: Derek Danforth [ AU ]

Tags: DND/Fantasy Inspired AU, Royalty, PLOT, Lore Dumping, Friends to ? ? ?, Romantic Implications, Fluff, Slight Suggestiveness { if you squint }, Slowburn, Childhood Friends, Flirting, Catching Up, OOC!Derek [?], Sweet Talk + Reader is !GN.

Warnings: Mentions of War/Isolation, Depression, Childhood Trauma, Substances/Acholic Beverages + Smoking.

TOS. Derek Dandorth Master List {TBW}.

The ballroom had been mildly entertaining at most, while Dandorth House was certainly exotic with fruitullius pickings like booze, muzzled griffins and gowns, you had found yourself a mere wallflower near the belt of the corner. Your attentive gaze remained ill as you stared at the chorus of visitors from all across the world clad in their signature wear, dancing the night away with tipping mindscapes.

You were impressed by their shiny attempt to win over the other Houses with opium and silver statues not seduced. The idea of taking wine brewed by a Dandorth was an idea you'd never subscribe to, as much as you valued their efforts in ore distribution, they weren't a House you'd call a friend, more of a neighbor with the temper of a sun bear.

The shine of silk, flashing grins and laughter had made you feel as if you didn't belong, as if you were nothing but a lonley phantom enviously spectating the quartz floors.

Your House, Tallis, was a symbol of artistry, sculpting, poets and other powers were the foundations of your land. You were the only heir to the throne, sharing no brother or sister to extend a blade at down the line. Alas, you were greatful no family blood would bare at your fingertips, but the crippling loniliess had carved you into a quiet, yet respectful noble with dreams just like any Tallis; only you wished there was another one to share it with.

"Admiring the dancefloor are we?" A voice asked, it's tone as complex as the limestone statues of old characters fronted at the palace. You felt something buzz in your soul, and your gaze had flocked up to the host.

Prince Derek Dandorth, only, he was much older than when you last laid your eyes on him.

It was around midnight when both Houses declared they'd go into hiding to cower away from the war. It was your last royal ball together, and you weren't interested in leaving yet. You were both children then, dumb and in love. You both had scurried off and his yourselves near the old balcony that you were sure had been rebuilt with golden rimmings and white rose bushes.

"When will I ever see you again?" You asked desperly, hands interlocking with his soft fingertips. Derek's eyes had arrowed into you, deep with longing. Back when his hair was still an endless rush of dark, brunette curls and gentle highlights.

"I don't know, but it'll be soon. Our Houses may be splitting, but that doesn't mean we won't be able to dance again, will it?" Derek whispered. "We'll see each other again. We have to."

He had been wrong, and you had been grieving over that broken promise when you were children for a long time. The Dandorth and Tallis Houses were at a halt, conflicted by some nearby wars circling close to the walls.

It had resulted in both kingdoms locking themselves in their labyrinths of treasure, with eyes paved into the stone. You were isolated in your House, only seeking comfort in carving your inner desires into rich pavement that was now collecting dust in your Queenship's second guest bedroom.

Now, he was here, cocky as ever. With blonde hair and light reminces of forest green and flakes of emerald flickering across his face. His signature uniform was gorgeous, with carefully decorated leaves and patterns that resembled rich lingering. His crown set carefully in his forest of curls, and you swore you could smell cologne that burst your nostrils with pure dopamine.

"Derek?" You uttered, slack jawed.

You blinked and he waved his hand in front of your stunned expression teasingly.

His hand carefully tightened around his glass, "Now, that's no way to greet a prince in his own House, is it?" the heir cooed. Your face fell and you arched a brow, unimpressed at his mock of carelessness. Prince Dandorth was certainly an idealist, but he was definitely not an actor.

He laughed, tone deep as ivory. "I'm just messing with you, Noble Tallis." Then, he opened his arms for an inviting hug you immediately fell into. Although, he felt stiff, you could sense he was relived to see you again.

"You look different." You pulled back.

Derek's gaze remained on you, "You like it? The hair that is—I had it personally dyed, you can tell how organic it looks, yes?"

You could tell he was trying his best to seem noble. So, you teased. "Oh, the hair? I hadn't noticed, silly me. I couldn't help but notice your blush and gown—are those earrings?"

His fingers ran down the golden patterns with a soft smile. "Well, the House of artistry was attending, I had to look my best, especially for the only heir." A warm smile spread across his face. "It's been way too long." Derek said breathlessly, "I missed you."

Prince Danforth's face softened. "Well, thank the Gods."

You eased, trying to stir up some conversation. "How are you? I've heard your House is doing well after the release." 

He boasted. "People are desperate over our caverns, you would not believe how many travelers were mounted at our doorstep ready for trade." Derek confirmed after a sip, "We might be in need of your creativity again, the walls are so dull, and they can certainly use some of your flare, don't you think?" 

You were flattered. Your eyes ran down the exterior of the walls, lightly scratching your jaw. "You know, you're right. Your palace does look a little—" 

"A little, what? He urged. 

You humored. "Like it was designed by a commoner."

Derek laughed. "You've always had an eye for details like this. Good to know I wasn't disappointed to know you haven't changed that much."

Then, he asked. "How about you? Any new inventions or views on the world? Hearing about your House is like turning a Jack-in-the-box."

You chewed your lip awkwardly. As Derek had imagined, there were many views and advances in Tallis. Though, it had caused a whide fued between philosophers and their audience. It was overwhelming, but nonetheless, Tallis had been doing much better than any other House, even with its complications with political attributes. "It's . . . going well."

You knew it wasn't in Derek's character to pester, so he hummed in delight for your vague answer. His lips settled on his narrow class, drinking in a rich selection of dark champagne. His apex gaze settled on you, "Mind if I steal you away for a moment? I see you don't fancy the music or dancing." Derek offered his hand, "Just like old times," he suggested.

There wasn't a sliver of reluctance in your answer, you eagerly gripped his hand and let him guide you outside the ballroom. The wash of silence veiled over your ears as the intrusive rhythm of the party began to fade away.

You had forgotten how large Prince Danforth's palace was, with high walls itching towards the sky and silver veins ripping through the quartz floors. He drank up your silence. "Beautiful, isn't it? I know there might be a thousand mistakes in your eyes, but it's something else entirely to me. My people sculpted and built this castle for my House, my bloodline, and no matter what I do, I may never repay their labor."

Derek sighed, gaze masking apologetically as his speech had been led astray. "Sorry, I haven't spoken to you in a while. I have a lot on my chest, Noble Tallis."

"No, no. It's alright, I assure you. Don't apologize for simply speaking to me."

Derek smiled shyly, "Thank you." his voice relaxed at his offer, "Would you fancy a tour?"

"Absolutely." Your eyes fluttered.

Derek nudged his head forwards the split of hallways, "Come, then."

Your fingertips parted and you were slightly disappointed when he walked a few steps in front of you, arms spread out like a hawk as he basked in the light of the exquisite chandeliers hooked to the carved ceiling.

You felt like a child again. Two rebellious souls giggling and whispering, racing up the staircases like hummingbirds and gazing at the web of art pieces that mapped the generations of his House. Tales of war generals and royal blood rivalry. Derek in particular had a knack for history, giving his share of intelligence of his family tree with eager eyes.

"Is that your grandfather?"

"Great-grandfather." Derek corrected. "My father told me a lot about him, he was the loyalest king of this House. He truly cared for his people, and it's how we were able to advance this far at all. He just had faith." His eyes fell, "Though, I worry it's all going to go to waste."

"How so?"

Derek set his hand carefully on the painting, fingertips grazing gently across the teeth of the large canvas. "My mother has been pushing our classes too hard this last decade. It's caused a commotion within our walls, they don't trust the House anymore. I have no authority like her, she won't . . ." he choked back a cry. "I can't do anything, I'm useless. I'm only a Prince, I'm nothing compared her."

He felt your warm grasp on his shoulder. You whispered, "That's not true. You're many things, Derek. A dreamer, a loyalist. You'll be a great king, this I tell you."

Derek paused. "But what if my kingdom can't wait? They're being pushed to the edge, working like dogs. It's no good leading a nation when there's nothing left. I don't want to wait."

This was a lot to take in. Tallis had been oblivious to how quickly Danforth had been advancing like no other House, now you were truly worried. A rebellion was possible, and every House had almost lost all their work by the lower classes arriving at their pearly gates with mounts of fire.

His hands fumbled with his dressing, voice grim. "I'm the only heir, the only one left to fix up her mistakes." Derek turned to you with desperate eyes. "I feel like I'm in a cage. The walls have opened up again, yet, I don't feel free. Like a bird in a cage, do you know what that feels like? To act as an audience, almost no word in anything unless I'm told to."

You hadn't noticed Derek taking both your hands and pressing them against his chest. You exhaled lightly, "Derek. What is the queen doing to you?"

Was Queen Danforth imprisoning him? A Prince should have a voice, especially as the only heir. Your grip tightened, "Prince Danforth, whatever is happening . . . you can tell me anything. I promise, your word will remained sealed between my lips, nobody will know."

"Oh, but they will." Derek explained. "Someone will always know. There's ears in the brick and mortar, eyes from friends."

You made a noise as if you were being strangled. "But what about now? I feel as if you told me everything and nothing at the same time." You were at the edge of tears. You couldn't loose him, not again.

"I haven't told you a lick of what's truly happening." He told you. "There's so much you don't know, Tallis. So much to know, such little time."

You were so confused. This was only the tip of the iceberg according to Prince Danforth, he wasn't the type to lie for as spoiled as he was. Regardless, his eyes were the darkest shade of sincerity you had ever seen. Your voice was hushed, "What do I do? I can't leave like this, Derek."

"I promise, I'll tell you everything." Derek rested his forehead against yours, "I promise." then, he pulled away. "I love you too much to let you get hurt because of my ignorance. Time will tell, just be patient."

Derek desperately needed someone to talk to. About his injustice and personal conflict, but he felt the need to warn you as well. Something else was brewing, a conspiracy perhaps? What was Queen Danforth up to? Would you ever know? So many questions.

Then, you broke out of your paralysis when he had mentioned love. You stammered, "You love me?"

He was shocked, frozen in his step. "Of course, I do. You're so fantastic, intelligent and sensitive. If I didn't know any better I figured I'd be under a spell," Derek chuckled. "I may as well be at this point. I care about you, so much. I can't lie to you, but I can't put you in harm's way either."

Your face warmed. Before he could spin away, you held his hands tightly, getting lost in his eyes once again. His breath hitched, and you heard him swallow harshly. "Tallis?" Derek didn't pull away, you could even sense him bringing himself closer, "You know, if we do this, there will be no turning back . . ."

You were longing, "Then so be it. I've been locked away for too long, the only company being memories of you."

Derek's speech slowed, harsh and husky. "All my life, I've always gotten what I've want, everything I asked for. However, this is the first time I've felt—" he rasped. "I needed something as precious as you."

Cupid's arrow has pierced your soul, and you had read him well enough to press your lips against his own, melting into a kiss. Derek pulled away, catching his breath with a giggle. "Oh, Heavens, give me a moment."

"Never kissed someone before?" You asked.

"No, never." He hushed you with a peck, that descended into a deeper kiss. You ran your fingertips across his silky wear, and you could feel shivers running down his spine. He felt like a peasant on his knees, begging for a penny to add to his name. Derek had felt desperate before, but never like this.

A strong desire had pulled you closer, stealing each other's breath away. Your sentimental feelings grew thin once he pulled away after making a noise, which made his face flush in raw embarrassment.

"A thousand pardons, I just, got a little wrapped into it." Derek mumbled and then repeated. "Sorry,"

"Don't be, I liked it, I promise." You traced his thumb to his cheek, lightly circling his warm skin. "Thank you for taking me out, and telling me everything, or . . . most of it at least."

Derek's face softened and rested his hand on yours. His face fell, "If I could, I'd run away with you, start somewhere fresh."

"Derek, you know we can't. We're the only heirs, the only ones who can hold the throne and make a difference. It's our duty."

He dipped his head, saddened at the taste of reality, "I know, I know, but a man can dream." though your face was infectious enough to let a smile spread across his face.

The rest of the night had been tranquill and hush, a few fruitful hours of nothing but gentle praises and a few butterfly kisses here and there without disturbance, until you finally stopped near a pool where a seahawk was perched, beak wrestling weeds out of the water. It was growing late and you could sense your House would be departing soon enough.

Derek took your hand once more, resting his lips on your knuckles. "This was a wonderful evening, Tallis."

"I hope I get to see you again." You told him.

"I'll make sure to write to you, maybe through a messenger bird so it's extra private." Derek toyed. "Maybe you can send me those beautiful drawings of yours."

You smiled softly. "I'll think about it."

You had kissed him goodbye again, before you could stir away from his side, his warm breath tickled your ear. "And don't forget what we spoke about,"

Dawn was tickling the air and the clouds were heavy with the deep scarlet of sunrise. Derek had gotten no sleep tonight, as his attention was too busy wandering through chapters of you. It wasn't the only thing keeping him up, as his mind was still swampy with anxiety. He had only fueled your curiosity to solve Danforth's conspiracy, all because his emotional vulnerability had gotten the better of him and he couldn't bring himself to hold back.

He walked tiredly to his study and wrapped his hands around the careful mold of his desk, carefully reelimg out a sealed envelope from the darkness of his cabinets. A red stamped, engraved with a symbol resembling a furious bee hunching over its stinger to the side was in bold, almost intimidating him. Derek's gaze hardened, he knew there was something else to his symbol,

And he would get to the bottom of it.

[fatuismooches]

so i had this conversation with my friend about dottore and fragile!reader and i just wanna share it to you because like, your account has a lot of fragile!reader and i enjoy them a lot :3 sorry not sorry btw lmao, you're the one who started the fragile!reader agenda and i live for the angst. i had this music in my mind while writing this (just imagine it matches the ending i put lmao). have a good day/night :3

cw: yeah so reader dies lol, pure angst

-

my friend said "what if dottore knows how to play the piano" and quickly it went to dottore and reader playing duets together. dottore being the pianist and reader being the violinist.

throughout their lives, when dottore isn't too busy or too tired, you would play a duet together, because it's one of your ways to bond. since you were young, you've played the violin. it was your passion, a piece of art you have dedicated yourself to. dottore wanted to be part of that, so he meticulously learned how to play the piano, just for you.

the music you play always resonated deeply in your hearts. sometimes, you'd pick up your violin and play whatever comes to your mind, each note you play with your bow purely improvised, and dottore would stop whatever he was doing and go to his piano. he would tap his foot along with the imaginary tempo you've created, humming along with your tune, before straightening his back and let his fingers dance along the keys.

it was beautiful, majestic. music that has bonded two people so strong and will continue to unite the souls that play the music endlessly with their instruments.

but alas, not all love stories end happily.

your back, shoulders, arms, and fingers have grown weak. the callouses that graced your fingertips, scars that you were so proud of, has long faded, returning to the smooth, and unblemished surface of your skin. you could barely remember how to properly hold your beloved bow, nor lift your violin. the weight was too heavy for you now.

it was only as if it was yesterday when he saw you so lively and happy, smiling so tenderly as you sway your body to the rhythm he has set with his piano. the way you'd oh so passionately move your fingers across the fingerboard, the slight tilt of your head onto the chin rest as you close your eyes to feel the music throughout your mind and soul.

and yet it has been years since you've held your violin. it could only bring you unbearable pain once you lay your eyes on your most prized possession.

he has taken care of your violin in your stead. he waxed the bow, tuned the strings and polished it, keeping it pristine, as if it's owner still adored their beloved instrument.

he could cure you. he most certainly will. he will bring back the joy you once had in life before you were forever trapped in the confines of your room. chained to the bed that you have known almost a huge fraction of your withering life.

he continued to play for you. to let his fingers gloss over the keys of his dearest piano, the play tunes that you once loved so much, to see the sparkle of joy in your eyes. and yet when you smile at him when he finishes a piece he knew was your favorite, he could only see sadness. miserable and gnawing sadness that only worsened whatever godforsaken sickness you had.

he could cure you. he will make a cure, no matter how long it will take. but you're now begging him for a duet. to play together like you once had. normally, dottore would've been delighted seeing the spark of love you had with music light up once more, but all he felt was dread.

it wasn't passion, nor joy, nor love that he could see in your eyes. it was only resignation.

was it a sign? that you were ready to pass on? but he could cure you! he will cure you! you just have to be patient, please. he's begging you to just lay down and let him work. let him make a cure. let him help you- he cannot lose the one thing that has given him life. the one person who has loved him more than the universe ever had...

but you begged him. pleaded him. you cried and pulled on his coat, you caressed and cooed at his skin, you kissed and whispered sweet nothing in his ears. you persuaded him. reassured him. comforted him.

he knew.

you knew.

so he handed you your precious violin. he helped you hold your violin like you used to, to position your fingers on the bow. you lay your head onto the chin rest, and bear the pain of the hard wood against your fragile skin.

dottore walks towards his piano, slow and steady. he didn't want to keep you waiting, it would be rude of him. but he couldn't help it. he was in denial. he wanted to walk outside your room and never return, to smash his piano to just keep him from playing that dreaded duet you wanted to play in hopes that you'd wait for the cure instead of accepting your death so easily.

but he couldn't say no to you. oh, how easy for you, a weak, dying, fragile person, having so much power against il dottore, the 2nd of the fatui harbingers.

and so he sat down, lifted the lid of the keyboard, and hesitantly hovers his fingers on the keys.

your voice, so faint and raspy, but so gentle and warm.

"one, two, three, and-"

you were horrible at the violin. it was a given since you're too weak to even properly hold it, and you haven't had practice since you've gotten sick. the scratching of the hairs against the metallic strings ground your ears, and the notes weren't even in tune with the piece. but you managed to follow through with dottore's rhythm, the tap of his foot at each beat serving as your metronome to keep up, no matter how your music sounded in contrast with his.

his eyes were only focused on his fingers. he dared not to look at you. if he did, he will lose all his control. each hitched breath you had, he could hear. each groan of pain, each silent curse, each hiss, each sob, he could hear them. but he pretended that he didn't. that it was just another simple duet that you've always done together. that perhaps tomorrow, you'll nag him to stop working so hard and play this piece you've been dying to play.

dottore's fingers continued to press on the keys, each note bringing nothing but grief into his heart. he pretended not to hear your gasps, the faint 'i love you's and the shattering, horrifying, sound of your violin falling onto the cold tiled floor. he pretends he doesn't hear it all. only his music, your music.

he could hear your perfect pitch, somewhere deep into his memories, each drag of the bow, up and down the strings, then the playful staccato as you poke your tongue at him.

he played the piece until the very end. he ignored the burning in his eyes. the bile rising up his throat. the trembling of his fingers. the quivering of his bottom lip.

his fingers were slipping (he could hear you playing your violin like you used to), he was messing up. he was pressing the wrong keys, and he was growing frustrated, blinking away the blurriness of his eyes.

(he wishes, he prays, that after this piece, you'd be smiling at him)

then, he slams his hands against the keyboard, a vile, heart-wrenching scream leaving his lips. the piece has turned into a disaster. chaos. despair. he wanted to destroy his piano. he wanted to destroy everything. he wanted to destroy himself.

but you wouldn't want that, won't you?

he straightened his back, fingers back onto the keys where he left off, as he chocked back a sob. he dared not to look at you. not yet, not after he finished the duet like you wanted to.

soft, gentle tunes reverberated throughout your cold, and empty room. full of love, devotion, grief, melancholy, and anguish, but dottore played and played. his music sounding like it once had when you were near his side, playing along his tune.

it was the first ever duet you've played together. a piece that was so dear to his heart. he was grateful that you chose it to be your last.

and just like the piece, it started with the violin, and ended with the piano.

OH MY GOSH NOT YOU DROPPING THIS MASTERPIECE ON ME AND LEAVING?? IM TEARING UP WTF YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ATE😭😭😭

One would think that the Doctor wouldn’t be interested in the arts and such, but it was the opposite, mostly thanks to you. He may be a scientist obsessed with his research, but even someone like him could appreciate a honed talent, especially one by his own lover. Admiring your skill he too took it upon himself to teach himself an instrument, first to understand your grind, and second to be able to match with you. It was amusing at first to see him try to play in sync with your violin, but as time went on, you two sounded absolutely wonderful. Both of you heavily enjoyed it. Especially Dottore. It felt as though he could say things without actually verbally saying things. Many times he failed at expressing himself with words but he felt as if you could understand him this way instead.

But then came your illness. The one that rendered you unable to do many things, made you unable to play your beloved violin again. You fought it at first, refusing to give up your favorite thing, but to no avail. No longer did you have the health or energy to even hold it, much less play it, sending a great blow to your soul. And Dottore realized it immediately. No longer would you smile that one particular smile, one that said much more than words could, one that showed your utmost emotion and happiness. No longer did your eyes hold that certain glint, the one that held such a fondness for your craft, and for him, when you played together. No longer could you saunter over to him after an especially satisfying duet.

At the beginning of your illness, you would hover over him and carefully watch as he took care of your instrument. After all it was hard for you to let go of it and give someone else the responsibility. But as the years went by with only a downward progression in your illness, you succumbed to it and simply let your lover handle it. If you saw it now you’d probably have a break down. And he did. He took care of it just as well as you would have. He would never disappoint you.

But everything would end out fine, Dottore told himself. He shall cure you, and the first thing you would do together is play a duet once again. And then you could take care of your own instrument again like you used to and he could see the lovely smile return to your face. It would end out right in the end, he was the genius doctor after all. That’s what he tells himself, but he finds himself saying that a lot more these days. Because these days are the days when despite him playing the songs you love so much, the pretend smiles are all you can smile and the light does not reach your eyes. You pretend you are okay but he’s not stupid, you are far from okay. The sickness wasn’t the only thing eating you up inside.

And it all boils over one day, when he sees that look in your eye. The one that he wanted to convince himself was just an illusion, that surely you were just playing a prank on him, because no, there’s no way you could feel that way right? Why would you want to give up? He can do it, he can do anything - he can build Gods with no effort and create things beyond the human imagination - just let him continue to work on this. He’ll work until the world ends if he has to, hell even if another war comes and goes, if Teyvat is rebuilt again, just believe in him like you always used to since back then, as his assistant, as his fellow scholar, as his lover, as his one and only.

Zandik feels panic, something that only seems to pop up with you. The first time was when you suddenly collapsed in front of him, and he just found out about the illness. The other times were related to your various health scares as well. And this time… it seems like it would be the last. Because he can’t say no to your request, not while you’re clinging onto him showing the most raw emotion you have in days. He doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t want to play his final duet with you. But alas, the world had never been kind to him.

When the Doctor has something to do, he gets it done. He doesn't waste time, as he has far more important things to do. But this wasn't the Doctor, or Dottore. This was Zandik. The same Zandik who promised you all those years ago to cure you, who swore one day you would suffer no longer. He’s lived for ages, but for some reason giving you your violin with that defeated expression on your face feels so much longer than a few seconds. It feels like ages when he slowly helps you adjust your violin the right way. It feels like ages as he walks over to take a seat at the piano. It feels like ages when his hands open the lid, and settle over the keys. He debates trying to convince you once again, but deep down he knows there’s nothing he can do. You were the only one who could ever win in an argument against him anyway. Everything was over. The least he could do, was to fulfill your last wish.

You knew you did not sound good. Your posture was all off, it sounded more like a horrible screeching than the lovely tune that you once produced all those years ago, you were panting and aching just at the mere act but you persisted, following your lover’s lead. He didn’t look at you, and you knew why, and you couldn’t help but get choked up too. It was surprising to see how much Zandik was alerted to your pain. He saw pain and inflicted pain on others every day but when it came to you, he hated it. He hated it so much that he knew if he looked at you, he would lose his mind. But he focused on the black and white keys in front of him.

The sound of the music is not enough to block his ears from hearing your apologetic whispers and final words of love, nor your violin falling to the floor with a terrible sound. Zandik keeps going regardless. It’s okay, he thinks, as he plays the lovely sounds you once made from many years ago. You’re still playing right besides him. You’re still going, so he shall as well. Then he realizes that a liquid is staining the keys and messing him up. And then he genuinely can’t remember the last time he cried, if he’s cried at all. He thinks it may have been as a child, shunned and alone. But even though it’s such a foreign thing for him it doesn’t surprise him. Nor does the unpleasant racket from the keys surprise him either.

He wonders if you’ll forgive him for the terrible performance he put on. He wonders if you’ll forgive him for failing you. Forgiveness, he almost laughs cruelly. Forgiveness. Something he never sought or cared about. He nearly destroys the piano with his bare hands but finds a tiny bit of control left in him, one created just for you. You’d want him to continue. And almost unnaturally he returns to his keys with the utmost concentration. For you. The final song. The final duet. The final everything.

Zandik always liked playing music with you for the things he could not express physically or verbally. He wondered if you could understand his final message, too. Even if you weren’t here anymore.

Oh no... the music really ties it all together... crying and screaming man omg 😭 IT JUST KEPT GETTING SADDER AND SADDER THIS IS AMAZING- BRO I DONT EVEN HAVE MUCH TO ADD- THIS HAS TO BE THE BEST ANGST DOTTORE PIECE IVE EVER READ.

I love the way you wrote his emotions here, him trying to hold it back but ultimately failing in the end because you really meant that much to him. You really portrayed how much he loved reader so well! I love that sm. It makes me wonder if he would keep the piano, since it's one of his core memories with you but it also brings him an indescribable amount of pain... Same with your violin. I think he would probably lock them up and never go into the room again because seeing them again would send him into a rage of sadness and anger.

Welp, I went through the five stages of grief with this😭🚶‍♀️Thank you for this absolute meal omg