#but alas I want to no longer be a thinking human being who feels things

[gottarunfromthelaw]

On the one hand I have alot of self restraint when it comes to me doing things that I know will eventually hurt me but also I really want to do the things that will hurt me.

[beefycupcakes]

I watched the Cars trilogy recently and with that came a wave of nostalgia and a strange desire to make my own designs for the cars as humans. Aka taking all the charm out of Cars but scratching the brain itch.

So, no need to drag out the intro any longer, I have some notes written out about em for those who might be interested or just bored.

Lightning McQueen:

I tried to make his suit look as professional as possible, with references pulled straight from McQueen's paint job/stickers, while also keeping in mind that I do intend to draw him more so I didn't want to go too crazy with the design. In a perfect world I would've let my maximalist cravings win, but alas let's keep it digestible for my sanity.

I feel like everyone's kinda on this unspoken agreement that McQueen as a human would pretty much look just like Owen Wilson, and that's the big picture here. I used Wilson as inspiration while tweaking and exaggerating a few things to my preference. (Okay, well not everyone, lmao.)

The chevron markings on the front cut off at the side seams not wrapping around the entire suit as to not clash with the sponsor logo on the back.

Also, he's wearing special gloves to help him grip & have control over the steering wheel. I think sometimes that looks a little weird when his sleeves are down & cuffed, but I just feel like he needs to have the gloves there— especially when he comes out of the top half of the suit. (It's also lowkey supposed to mirror his 4 tires when you consider his shoes are also black.)

So yeah, that's basically all I have to to say regarding Lightning McQueen's page. I feel like a lot of my design choices are self explanatory and, honestly probably shared universally... I mean, he's really cut & dry. (But I love him ⚡︎)

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Mater:

I'm not gonna lie, Mater was a bit challenging for me. I definitely had to step out of my comfort zone but I wanted to stay true to the character and not butcher anything.

My first thought was to give him a fishing pole to substitute for the tow hook— but then the more I was thinking about it, the more that felt so... out of place? Radiator Springs is in Arizona, which is (not entirely, but mostly depicted in the movie as) a desert. And even though there are beautiful bodies of water in Arizona, in the movie I don't recall seeing any prominent ones, at least in relation to Mater. So, scratch that, instead I gave him a lasso, which isn't supposed to entirely substitute for the tow truck— no, he still drives a tow truck, but the lasso is so he can grab people/things similarly to Tow Truck Mater (very cartoony). My explanation for this is the cattle ranch. Yeah, Mater is a tow truck driver but perhaps he has a side hustle, or hobby, if you will.

Also, I didn't want to make him... dirty(??) Like, yeah, of course, Mater would obviously get a bit filthy from time to time, it's just in his nature, but that is NOT going to be the core of my design. In regards to the rust happening on him, I felt like instead I would substitute this with being very tan. Again, Arizona is a desert. Because of this, he would take off his shirt often, and this would substitute for the missing hood like on Tow Truck Mater. The removal of the shirt also reveals just how tan Mater actually is.

It's his uniformed overalls that have his original aqua color, but from years of wear & tear they've been patched up with brown patches, this would also reference the rusting. The one strap is supposed to mimic the one headlight being broken, and I know that's a stretch, believe me, I wanted to do something with his eyes but eyes are not the headlights in the Cars universe..... think about this. Think about it really hard... if you know what the headlights are in the Cars universe then this actually makes perfect sense.

He is taller and wider than McQueen, which is a reference to the literal frame of their vehicle counterparts. (A little hard to picture with these images, but eventually I'll draw them together!)

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That's all I have to say really, but do let me know what you guys think! Gas it up and it might encourage me to make a part 2 with some of the other characters! Who would you like to see next? ♡ Thank you so much for reading & have a great day, Kachow!!

[fellthemarvelous]

Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

[ddarker-dreams]

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Companion piece to Idée Fixe.

(A journal entry that will never see the light of day, for it is meant to rot in darkness. Even the amoral owner is bound to agree with this).

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, Chrollo is creepy hooooly shit (he needs a hobby), and religious imagery. Word count: 1k.

I have become hopelessly smitten with a woman who is, for lack of a better word, strange. 

She tells me she’s “probably agnostic, because that word sounds cooler than atheist”, while often exemplifying the religious doctrine she grew up in. She condemns herself for qualities she’d pardon in others. She’ll get excited over the most mundane things, such as pigeons, or when her rewards add up enough to get her favorite drink for free. I’m allowed to steal a certain amount before she stares at me, not quite comfortable enough to express her dissatisfaction verbally, yet undoubtedly pondering the perfect string of words to avoid offending me. 

The extent of her consideration for others is perplexing. There is no advantage to be gained by placating strangers, though her insistence on the matter would almost convince you otherwise. She never says “you’re welcome”, it’s always “of course”, as if the act of going so far out of her way is expected of her. If not that phrase, she’ll say “it’s no problem”, on the off chance the individual may think they burdened her. 

She’s strange, yes, but we’re alike in many ways, so I wonder what that’d make me. 

I’ve taken on innumerable roles throughout the years. I know how to judge the weight of my every word. My motivation for doing so is self-serving in nature. People, to me, are locks that require the right combination to crack. From what I can tell, she’s come to realize this too. Instead of pursuing this advantage, she shies away from it. Originally, I thought it was nothing more than people-pleasing, but it goes beyond that. She loves humanity, the same humanity I deem worthless. It’d be easier for me to understand if there was an ulterior motive. Alas, that'd be doing her a major injustice.

My initial intrigue in her was nothing more than a passing fancy. I had time to pass, and she just happened to be in the vicinity, reading a book I’m partial to. I thought I’d give her a few minutes of my time and then be on my way. Presently, however, If I believed in fate, I’d go so far as to say our paths were destined to cross. She is every part of myself that has died a slow death. Optimism, empathy, passion… they mix together to form the essence of her being. 

I didn’t intend to give her so much of my time. She became indispensable to me before I realized what was happening. In retrospect, perhaps I knew deep down that this was the type of person I’d been looking for. Someone I’d struggle between wanting to ruin or preserve. I erred toward the former at first. If I didn’t wake her from her naïve reverie, another would inevitably come down the line and do it themselves. The mere concept was unforgivable. 

As time passed, it became clear she wasn’t living in a dreamlike state, but was perfectly aware of her surroundings and the people who inhabit them. This left me at an impasse. How do you destroy someone who has already annihilated and rebuilt themselves? There are ways, yes, yet no longer did the idea appeal to me. I wanted something new from her, though the specifics alluded me. What I did know, however, was that this strange woman would touch many lives for the better. 

This was a constant torment. I’d have to go about my business, knowing full well she’s making others smile, laugh, and otherwise brightening their day elsewhere. My chest would become impossibly tight whenever I fixated on this. She holds qualities people are inevitably drawn to. She is radiance incarnate, so easy to adore. A light like that is visible far and wide.

When I pressed back against her dearly held beliefs, instead of fading, she burned ever brighter.

I know she feels it too — this invisible rope that binds us. She’ll happily talk to me for hours, even when I forgo superficial charm and express slivers of my depravity. She sees it, acknowledges it, and seeks me out all the same. I find myself talking more than I meant to when she’s around. She challenges me, interestingly enough. Her arguments often have holes and aren’t by any means polished, but she cuts to the heart of things. 

She is my personal torment. I want every inch of her for myself. Her unique mind, heart, soul… would it be enough? Could I stop there? Or would I keep going, taking more and more, until we were essentially one flesh? 

It’s by her recommendation I’m writing any of this down. She said “I am in desperate need of intensive therapy” and sent some links to her recommendations. I’m inclined to give in to her requests since she asks for so little, but that might be the one I have to refuse. I cannot recall the last time I met someone this amusing, if ever. The inner workings of her pretty little head are a mystery I long to unravel.

Displeased as I am to admit it, a day will pass when she no longer looks at me the way she does now. My true identity can’t go unknown forever, the revelation is inevitable. Still, I won’t let her go. My grip will only grow tighter. If her ire is my penance for possessing her entirely, then I’ll accept the sentence and chip away at it over time. Emotions are transient. With the right encouragement, I can guide her back to my arms, even if she considers the embrace a scourge. 

When we first met, she said something that has taken permanent residence in my mind. 

“So long as I can say I helped one person, that’s good enough for me.” 

This was always bound to be my benediction and her condemnation. 

From that moment onward, her life was mine to do with as I please. There are many far more worthy of her than I, which is why I’ll never give them the chance. I’ll deprive the world of her vibrancy. It could become engulfed in eternal darkness, and still, I’d happily refuse to give her back. Let them lament, weep, and gnash their teeth.

In my youth, I set out to be the greatest villain. Never have I been more willing to carry out the actions befitting such a lofty title. 

This is the curse of a wicked man’s love, [First] [Last]. Revisit your religion and pray fervently. For only a god could save you from the future I’ve planned for us. 

[firstclassattorney]

Rockstar and Attorney, Klavier and Kristoph

Small fic for Kristoph and Klavier! If you could call it that? It's 1.4k words, lmao. 

Klavier feels unsure of his skills and whether or not the path he chose was the right one. Not knowing who else to turn to, he calls Kristoph in the middle of the night.

Hurt/comfort except the comfort is temporary. (If any of you make incestuous comments I WILL block y'all. ew.)

umm @jaydovekj you might be interested in this?!?!?!

It wasn't often that my sleep was interrupted before the sun had risen.

The loud ring of my cellphone from the counter jolted me awake. Groggily, I opened my eyes, a wave of frustration washing over me. Who calls a man at this hour? A high-end defense attorney needs his rest. But, well... he also has to consider that random calls in the middle of the night might be emergencies.

As I switched on my phone, the sudden light felt like it'd blind me. I winced and set it down momentarily, reaching for a neatly folded cloth to wipe the lenses of my glasses before putting them on. When I checked the screen again, my vision adjusted to the brightness, revealing the name of the contact: "Klavier." Expected, really; Klavier was the only one bold enough to disturb my beauty sleep. Still, I was a bit surprised.

I hastily answered, stifling a yawn. "Good morning to you, too, Klavier."

"Ach, I'm sorry for waking you, Kris. I didn't know who else to call."

"Is it another song idea you want to share?"

His laugh was dry, humorless, and a bit pathetic. A sound so pitiful it almost made me want to kick him. "Nein, it's a bit silly. I'm not sure why I called."

"Silly?" I echoed, hoping he'd elaborate.

"I'm just questioning a few things. Nothing I can't handle, but... we all have those moments, you understand, ja?"

We all have those moments. How odd. I never quite understood why some people struggled so much with their own minds, why they couldn’t simply snap out of it and see how ridiculous they were being. Klavier- and people in general- were always different from me. It baffled me to no end, a reminder that they were simply too human while I was perfect.

"Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting you. I know you've been busy and--"

"Klavier." I cut him off before I could stop myself. "Do you want me to come over?"

"...It's too much work. It's late for both of us."

"Answer my question."

A beat of silence passed. "Are you sure?"

"Do I seem like the type to joke about this?"

Another pause. Maybe he realized how ridiculous he sounded, or perhaps the gears in his head were turning. Just as I was about to speak again, he finally responded.

"No, well..." As if remembering he was Klavier Gavin, he corrected, "Nein, you don't. You're right."

"Then I'll come over as soon as I can."

"Okay. Danke, Kris."

I hung up first and rubbed the bridge of my nose. I wanted to leave the topic alone, trust in his ability to "get over it", but he sounded so sorrow-filled I couldn't help myself. Klavier was like a stray puppy when he was sad, so beaten up and so so pathetic you simultaneously want to care for it and crush it between your palms mercilessly. Alas, it's my job as his elder brother to support him despite my own feelings.

..........

I couldn’t believe it. It felt surreal, getting dressed in the middle of the night to comfort my brother. I didn’t spend much time on my appearance; when Klavier visited, our meaningful conversations always happened in the dark, and I doubted tonight would be any different. Still, I wanted to maintain some sense of dignity as I drove there.

The road stretched longer than usual, or at least it felt that way to my tired mind. I tried to push away thoughts about the ridiculous scenario I was in; each time I did, I couldn’t help but think how I probably looked like a lemur with these dark circles under my eyes. Unfortunately, I was my own worst critic.

When I arrived, I knocked twice. The door creaked open, revealing Klavier with a weak smile on his face. It was a poor attempt at reassuring he was okay, given the redness around his eyes and the smudged mascara. I kept any emotions or judgement away from my expression, a skill I’d mastered over the years. Unlike a certain blond man in front of me.

“Ach, where are my manners? It must be freezing out there. Come in.”

I nodded and stepped inside. As expected, the room was dim, lit only by a flickering candle. I never questioned why we always spoke about personal issues in the dark, though sometimes I wondered if it made it easier to connect.

The first time it happened, I had awoken for a glass of water and found Klavier wide awake. We ended up talking until dawn. I never understood how he found the courage to share so much when he usually insisted he was fine. Perhaps, in the shadows, we lost our roles as Klavier and Kristoph, becoming just brothers- free from distance and formalities, able to talk openly when our faces were obscured by darkness.

“Kris?”

I snapped out of my daze. “Sorry. We shouldn’t waste time. What were you questioning earlier?”

“It’s… ridiculous, ja. I’ve been worrying. Wondering if this is the right path.”

My brow furrowed in confusion, but luckily, he couldn’t see it. It *was* ridiculous- he had no reason to doubt himself. I had taught him everything he needed to know; he was more than capable.

“I just…” He sighed, “There’s so much to do, and I have to keep smiling for the paparazzi. It gets overwhelming. You know that feeling, too, richtig?”

“I do." I confirmed, knowing he couldn’t see my nod. “But it’s not about skill. No matter how good you are, mistakes will happen.”

“I know, but sometimes I wish I could avoid them. Like- Like you! You always keep your cool, bruder, and I don’t know how you do it.”

I fell silent, not wanting to crush his spirit. Achieving my level of calmness was impossible for him. Klavier wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions spilling into his voice and face. He would never be like me, no matter how hard he tried. It was a difficult pill to swallow... for both of us.

“…Klavier, you can’t be like me. Even if we share the same appearance and last name, we’re still Klavier and Kristoph- two different people.”

“Ja, but-”

“Let me finish, please.”

He shrank slightly, like a child. “Okay.”

“The thing is, I might seem put-together, but I have my moments of frustration, stress, sadness… that doesn’t make me any less capable. The same goes for you.”

I took a step closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. I could see doubt and uncertainty swirling in his eyes, and paired with his posture, it made him look like a child again. He’d always clung to me when we were young, asking me why the world was the way it was. I never had an answer, just the reassurance that we had to live in it, and somehow, that was enough for him.

“Klavier, you’re doing great. I’m proud of you. Whatever doubts you have are normal, but don’t let them make you falter.”

I didn’t know if I truly meant those words, but I knew they could provide comfort. I understood that he wanted nothing more than to make me proud and live up to my standards. I wasn’t a fool.

Klavier sniffed and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. He smiled genuinely- a first for this night- and nodded his head. To stop him from further pestering me with concerns, I hugged him. It caught him off-guard, certainly, but eventually he relaxed and hugged me back.

"...You're much more affectionate today, Kris. I think you're going soft, ja." He chuckled. I felt like he could almost sense me hiding an eye roll. "But... thank you."

We sat there in silence for a few moments. It felt right. As most times of tranquility do, the hug ended and I let my arms fall to my side. Klavier copied.

"Ach." He suddenly spoke up. "I just realized how late it is. Do you want to stay at mine tonight?"

"For once, I'll take you up on your offer." 

"I could get you a plush if you're lonely. Do you remember that bear I had when I was-?"

"Don't push it, Klavier, or I might regret my decision..."

For the first time in a while, I smiled as well. Perhaps taking a break from being 'The coolest defense in the west' more often would do me good.

[cdragons]

Revenant

Summary: Kol Mikaelson's soul manages to leave and travel while he still remains daggered in his coffin. While he wanders around and bitches about his life, he meets an unexpected friend. Warning(s): VERY HEAVY crack fic, technical crossover of fandoms, weird shit, Kol is a horny-ass gremlin, Druig & Kaety are obsessed with each other, Kol has a thing for witches bc he got mommy issues, Klaus is a bitch

Note: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! This fic came from an idea that I shared with @ethereal-athalia, and it is VERY much a crack fic. I don't have any plans in continuing this idea, but I wanted to write it out as a Christmas gift to @ethereal-athalia for how much of a good friend she's been to me. I never would have been able to do any of my fics without her in my corner. I own only my Hecate!OC. I do not own either Druig from Eternals, or Kol from TVD franchise. Also, Druig still very much exists in this fic and world bc I physically CANNOT write Kaety without Druig. Stay safe and hope that your upcoming year brings you all good health and happiness!

Kol hated being dead. Truly dead. Dead in a way that he couldn’t move or speak or live.

At least when he turned as a gift Mother Dearest he could still walk, even if he couldn’t use the arcane anymore. But of course, he would still always find his way back to witches and their magic. He couldn’t help it if he exuded that charm that made him so irresistible.

Gods, just remembering how pathetically sex-deprived his physical form was currently almost made him weep. He couldn’t wait until the moment he got that fucking silver dagger out of his chest. Nik was going to get it when he finally got out.

Sure, he may have crossed a line when he stated that Nik had a pair of buttocks flatter than a sheet of paper. But was he the one that gave his brother such lacking assets? No. That fault lied entirely with their mother and his biological father, thank you very much.

But alas, here his soul was, walking in a forest in the middle of some mosquito-flooded country.

At the very least, his gorgeous body was safe from the onslaught of bug bites and sweltering humidity. Only in the fucking Amazon did winter feel like summer.

Kol audibly groaned once more at the thought of his immaculate figure rotting away thanks to Nik. He couldn’t bear to think about how his illustrious fair skin being that dull grayish hue from being confined by death. At least when Bekah got daggered, Nik had the decency to make sure that her body remained stored in proper conditions and carefully encased in magic to prevent any harm coming to her. He had no guarantee. No, such love and devotion only went to ‘Lijah and Bekah when it came to Nik.

Story of his life: always an outsider, even with his own fucking siblings. Gods, he wanted nothing more than have his powers return to him. At least with magic by his side he’d finally be able to show Nik he wasn’t the only one with threats, he’d show him, he’d –

“Well, well, well,” came a new voice, “aren’t you a strange sight?”

Kol immediately turned his head to locate the mindless idiot that dared to interrupt his thoughts. Did humans devolve so pathetically that they no longer understood that when they see a soul wandering alone, that soul would likely be uninterested in any attempts of conversation? But looking at the individual who spoke to him, he was shocked beyond himself to witness such a devastatingly gorgeous woman before him. She had dark almond-shaped eyes and tall with legs that went on for miles. And her thick and illustrious raven waves practically flowed down the middle of her back like a black waterfall.

Dare he say it, this woman was almost as beautiful than him.  

But regardless of how pleasing her outward appearance may be, she still would not be spared from his fury.

Pity, he would have loved to wrap those legs around his waist if he were actually here.

The corners of the woman’s lips went upward, and the cupid’s bow of her mouth was slightly pursed as she smirked, making her lips look plumper and more bitable than how they had right to be in the Original’s opinion. It was only a few seconds before the succubus burst out laughing. Her entire body arched with her back as she simply couldn’t contain herself.

“I’m sorry,” she said once he began to calm down, “but I’m afraid that I happen to be very happily married. In fact, I have been for the past near seven thousand years.” After making a quick glance up and down Kol’s near transparent form, she continued with a cat-like grin. “And I highly doubt someone as woefully young as you could satisfy a woman like me.”

Oh, now he was offended. Not being able to satisfy– did this woman have any idea who she was talking to? The list of names of men and women that swore they only believed in Heaven when Kol fucked them was so long that it would wrap the Earth twice. And she better believe than each time was more than consensual – they were begging him very enthusiastically to say the least. Who was this lady to assume –

Wait, did she say seven thousand years?

As if she could hear his thoughts, all the woman did was smiled before extending her hand.

“I think I’d like it very much if you and I became friends.”

Extending his own, Kol was surprised to see that his hand didn’t just pass through like it normally would for most physical objects. He could actually grasp her hand and feel the warmth passing through it. For the first time in…forever, Kol felt warmth flooding through him. He stared into her eyes, wondering how on Earth someone could live for seven thousand years. Even if she had the gift of mediumship, his presence was too well-hidden for even the most gifted and powerful medium to sense him.

Kol had to know more of her. He’d go mad if he didn’t.

“What are you exactly?” he carefully asked.

He could sense that this person was a being of extreme power. In the top of her finger, she likely contained far more power than Nik could possibly imagine, even in his wildest dreams. It seemed that being an invisible soul floating in the wind had its perks after all. If he was alive, walking and about, he’d never come across this marvel of a woman.

“I’d prefer if you began that question with ‘who’ than ‘what,’ but I suppose that matters little in this situation. My name is Kaetlyn, I prefer Kaet for my friends, but you may know me better as-”

“Hekate,” he whispered in awe, “Goddess of Magic. Titaness Mother of Witches and Monsters.”

“Surprised in a good way I hope?” Kaet asked with one brow raised.

“More or less, but I did imagine you about 30 feet taller with the night sky for skin and two more heads.”

“Well,” she softly chuckled, “I hope I didn’t disappoint you with my appearance. Now I’ll forgive you just this once for interrupting me. But only if you allow me to take you to my home.”

“Oh?” Kol asked, a salacious grin spreading across his face. Now things were getting interesting.

“Save it Kol Mikaelson-” ordered the ancient goddess as she raised her hand to her face as she pointed at him in warning- “I am taking you to the village that I run with my husband. So, I suggest that you keep your hands to yourself because he has a nasty little habit of being showing exactly how off-limits I am to youngsters such as yourself.”

“I never told you my-”

“You were once a witch, and I am the mother of magic. All witches and their magic came from me, including you.”

It really was so unfair how good she looked while talking over him. Oh well, he might as well play along. Finally, something interesting was happening in his life.

“So, who is this husband of yours, darling? And how can you be so sure that your husband could be a threat to me? You know who I am, what I became. What makes you so sure that once I enter your village, I won’t use my ghostly ways to end him.”

When Kol finished, he immediately felt a shift in the air. It was as if the sun had disappeared and the jungle went silent. It seemed that the animals that served as their audience went dead silent as if they were in anticipation for his end. The kind and amiable mirth of the chthonic witch shifted to dangerous and cold.

Kol had lived for over 700 years and after everything he done and witnessed, he had never felt such chill run down his spine.

“Listen well,” she began – her tone laced with the power and authority that came from someone of her position, “I won’t try to humor you with answering that ridiculous question, nor do I intend to let you presume that my kindness can be mistaken for naivety. My husband is one with abilities as ancient and powerful as mine. If you truly knew what he was capable of, you’d be far more terrified of him than you ever were of your father. That being said, if you ever try to threaten my husband or even think about go so far to joke about it again, I promise you that I can produce torture and incite fear that would make the devil weep in pity for you.”

Oh fuck, even as a ghost, Kol should not have been as aroused by her threats as he was in that moment.

But soon the tension dissipated and warmth from the sun returned to pass through him once more.

“Now that we have that matter cleared up, we really should get going. The sun’s about to set and you never know what or who would be lurking at night.”

With that being the final word, The Good Lady of the Night and Shadows turned around and made her way back to where he presumed to be the location of her home village. And what else could he do but follow her by how the slight sway of her hips seemed to beckon him.

Threats and chills mixed a beautiful witch with magic more ancient than time itself, Kol couldn’t remember the last time he felt so alive.

Authors' Note: And when Kol enters the village, he tries to flirt with Kaet in front of Druig like a dumbass, and his soul gets a major ass-whooping.

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @valeskafics, @klauslove, @carolineforbae, @misssophiachase

Reblog and comment and like and share to anyone you think may like to read this fic!

[captainsimagines]

pretty woman, this is me trying || nine

Summary: Bucky Barnes does not like to be touched. He’s completely ready to live a distant life and give up when the time is right. Until Stark hires him his own personal pretty woman. Over time, Bucky Barnes begins to learn how to touch again. How to feel again. How to love himself again.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female SexWorker!Reader

Trope(s): Holiday Fanfic ; Slow-Burn ; Friends to Lovers

Based on the Song(s): sweet nothing by Taylor Swift and Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

(9/14)

Mini-Series

Warnings: dry humping; CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT; references to past SA

Word Count: 2,200+

Author’s Note: Smut is not incredibly heavy in this series. Only 3 chapters include it. Alas, I wrote it all in 3 days so.... Sorry lol xxMoni

~

     Bucky had pulled you from bed at the crack of dawn. Granted, you had told him the code to the building and said unexpected visits were welcome, but the sight of your distressed face as he physically pulled you from bed was classic.

You had left a little after his breakdown in the shower because Bucky, honest to God, needed to be alone.

Alone with his thoughts.

He had saved Natalia yesterday. He encountered a scary figure from his past, felt degraded, and still he pulled her from the rumble and carried her out. He was proud of himself, truly, but the sight of Steve’s sorrow from being unable to touch his best friend broke Bucky a little bit.

Hydra had reentered his life and he shot it directly in the face. He had carried Natalia out even as his body begged him not to touch another human being. But the soft touch from Steve that was promised, he rejected.

And that hurt more than his memories nowadays.

It hurt that he was able to sit with you, dine with you, hold you—and not be able to hold Steve.

Or Sam or Clint, for that matter.

Steve has been his best friend since childhood. Bucky had held Steve as his body was wracked with pneumonia. Had held the spoonful of honey and whiskey to his mouth. Took punches to his torso whenever he broke up one of Steve’s fights.

Working with you… Bucky was fighting to get those things back.

“Is this our spot?” he asked, lifting his head to the sun in hopes that when the cloud passed it would warm his face.

“We could make it our spot if you’d like,” you said, uncapping your hot chocolate and blowing to cool it down. Your little picnic was bare today. You only had warm drinks and water for Axel. It seemed even the world was running slow. Or, the city of New York abandoned nature because Christmas shopping was nearing its deadline.

That reminded Bucky—He had to get you a gift. What do you give someone who is in the process of giving you back everything?

“I wonder what the tree looks like with leaves.”

You pursed your lips, squinting as if in deep thought. “Big.”

“Big.”

“Big.”

Bucky chuckled, staring at you for longer than intended. You didn’t comment, though. You seemed to welcome his looks, his constant analysis. Did you think he was judging? Did you think he was ogling? Did you think he was admiring?

In truth, Bucky was just trying to figure you out. You were an amazing person—amazing jokes, amazing laugh, amazing cooking, amazing view of the world. How was it that you had no friends? Or, why weren’t there any friends around for him to meet? Was Lainey your only friend in the city? It damn near broke Bucky in two to imagine you lonely in that apartment, cooking for yourself, watching television by yourself. It’s the goddamned holidays and you were just going to… Spend it alone?

Or maybe, you would have had a date. You would have spent the night with someone who was not him. Your caress, your mouth, your body would have never known him at all.

“I want to try dry humping.”

You opened your eyes from the calm daze you occupied, slowly turning your head to him. An undisturbed reaction, Bucky dare say. As if his words weren’t so sudden.

“I bet you do,” you teased as your mouth widened into a grin.

“I’m serious. I’m comfortable holding you now.”

“Then I think the word you’re looking for is cuddle.”

Bucky shook his head. “Dry hump.”

You studied him, probably deciding whether he was ready or not. It was your decision to agree, but it wasn’t your decision if he was ready or not. But he let you watch him. He liked your eyes on him.

“Well, okay,” you determined, sipping your hot chocolate casually. “I’m cool with that.”

“You’re not just saying that because—”

“No.”

Because you were being paid for it.

Oh, God. You were technically being paid for it.

“I’m not trying to take advantage of our situation.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thank you for caring. But I want to do this.”

He nodded, still unsure if he was even in the position to ask. You two had spoken about graduating levels on the pyramid. But to skip about five of those levels was where things got jumbled.

“Is there anything I should know beforehand?”

“Don’t you want to kiss me first?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing to the point Bucky thought the crease would be permanent.

“Fuck.” He fucked up. “Yes, that first. Then—”

“Dry hump. I got that.”

Bucky awkwardly shimmied until he was lying on the blanket, face buried in Axel’s chest. The dog made no movement to remove him. He was too deep in his sleep to care.

“Was that too straightforward?” he asked, his voice muffled.

“It was certainly cute, but horribly executed.”

“Sorry.”

He peeked one eye open from his position, embarrassment painting his T-line red.

You smiled down at him, equally as flushed, and giggled into your cup. “Don’t apologize. I’m happy to dry hump you, Bucky Barnes.”

~

     The only other time your body had been wracked with this many nerves had been during your first week on the job. And though those were entirely negative, your toes still curled with the same anticipation. Your first experience was shit, but the fourth had been enjoyable. More than enjoyable, actually. Being chosen, feeling appreciated, wanted for both an outing and sex—It was intoxicating. Here, Bucky wanted you for real. For his own pleasure, your pleasure, for educational purposes.

Only once did you roleplay a professor-student dynamic, and you were the student.

Now, you’re the professor. Bucky’s trusted guide, his friend. You would do anything to ensure Bucky enjoyed his first kiss in nearly eighty years. It was a lot of pressure, but who better to give him this, ease him into this, than you?

“Whenever you’re ready,” you instructed, balancing more on your left foot than your right as you stood at the edge of the bed. Bucky was chilling against the wall, breathing in a repeated pattern.

He hummed lowly, his face falling peacefully. A good sign. He pushed off the wall and stalked toward you, leaving you with no time to prepare for his sudden closeness. He gripped your cheeks in both hands, one cold and one warm.

“Hi,” he whispered, his hot breath fanning your face. Intoxicating, indeed.

“Hi,” you responded, looking up at him. His massive build dwarfed yours, yet you were equal somehow. At this moment. Perhaps you were both students.

“You smell like your cookies.”

“Thank fuck for that.”

His smile widened, pure glee flooding not just that, but his shining blue eyes as well. The image of a man about to relearn the simplicities of life, of soft touch.

Slowly, he bent his head, drawing you into him. Taking charge, effectively deciding how he wanted this to happen. Completely fine, you thought. You were here for questions and to enjoy this, too.

Bucky smelled like snow and what you imagined Van Gogh’s Starry Night smelled like. All those swirls replicated in his eyes. All those colors laying a picnic and lighting a calm fire in your stomach. How anybody could torture this man… To steal his light, to mangle his dignity.  They were soulless.

The last thing you saw before Bucky’s lips finally touched yours and your eyes shut was the blurred cluster of Christmas tree lights in your living room. The press of his lips overwhelmed your senses, somehow rewriting the way you saw Bucky.

Because there was no coming back from this. No possibility of ignoring what you were feeling. Bucky Barnes was no longer just a friend. You wanted him by your side after this. You needed him to grow frantic with the need to kiss you. To have you.

The rational section of your brain reminded you that he was setting the pace and it could be ages before he wanted to take you entirely. To allow you to take him right back.

Then Bucky applied even more pressure to the kiss, slipping the tip of his tongue out to test the waters, and it was written in ancient stone that you had turned into the most patient person alive. And fuck, you would wait thousands of years to have Bucky Barnes.

In any way he offered.

You fell backward, opening your legs to allow space for him. Bucky reacted on instinct, crawling forward as you pushed backward, then settled comfortably in the space you provided. He made sure not to crush you under his weight, yet his enthusiasm pressed you into the mattress hard enough. Using his core to balance, Bucky used both hands to grip your thighs, his fingers leaving indents.

“You’re wearing pants,” he breathed, kissing alongside your chin and down your neck.

“Uh huh.”

“I want you to come. It’ll be difficult to stimulate you with jeans in the way.”

You opened your neck to him, whining when he pulled away. He met your eyes, the blue of his almost entirely gone. You figured yours were suffering the same effect.

“Can I remove them?” he asked, his fingers gripping your thighs harder. To be honest, he probably didn’t even need to remove your jeans. Massaging your thighs the way he was currently doing, even with the layers, was probably stimulation enough.

“Sure,” you agreed, lifting your hips to help him. He chucked them to the other side of your bedroom, lowering you back down. He was wearing sweatpants, those wonderful gray sweatpants men wore during the cold months. You were left in granny panties and your shirt, but you couldn’t care less.

“Do you want to be on top?” you asked.

“Please.”

You nodded against him, your face tucked between his collar and shoulder. You prepared yourself mentally for the feeling of Bucky Barnes, of possibly stopping before you got to come.

This was about him. Of course, he wanted you to enjoy it, too. There was absolutely no way he would be doing this if you didn’t voice your fervor for his touch.

He pressed his lower half to yours, and that was that.

He was larger than anyone you had ever been with. Pressed perfectly against your heat, his hands still pushing your thighs up and apart. Cramps a foreign concept.

“Bucky,” you sighed, stopping yourself from pushing your hips upward. This was at his pace, not yours.

Bucky whispered your name before he lowered his hips again, rolling them against you. The angle wasn’t exactly perfect, but it was too early to voice it. He was finding a rhythm, learning both your body and his. You’d let him experiment for however long he wanted.

He groaned when one particular roll positively turned his stomach. His body fell a little, the pleasure too overpowering. “It’s been years since I’ve felt this.”

You bit your lip, opting to forego a verbal response. Felt like this.

He meant pleasure. He didn’t say since I’ve had an orgasm for a reason.

“Keep going,” you urged, laying your palms on his hips. He seemed to equate your touch as a helpful influence, but he reached for your left hand to bring it back up toward the pillows. There, he intertwined his flesh fingers within yours.

His cock brushed against your clit in perfected motion, over and over and over. His hot breath fanned your neck and shoulder, warming you from every angle. You gripped his ass next, moaning your praise.

“Yes, yes, yes!”

Bucky picked up the pace, his moans turning into short and delicious whimpers. He struggled to lift his face to watch yours, but he succeeded. With his cock pressed deep against you, stilling, he huffed, “Tell me you like it.”

“I like it,” you said honestly, moving your hips against him. He stayed still, watching you rub yourself against his covered erection.

“Tell me I can like it, too.”

In the midst of your pleasure, your heart cracked. Meeting his gaze, you insisted, “You can like this too, Bucky.”

He spread you wider with his metal arm, his flesh hand clutching at your own. Chest to chest, sharing breath. He kissed you with everything he had. All his strength, all his momentum, all his control. He rolled his hips right where you needed him.  

You knew what it meant. So you matched his movements, angling your own hips, hugging his body to yours. Repeated chants of yes, yes, yes spilled from your mouth. They were honest and true as the pleasure was near full bloom in your lower stomach, but they were also meant to encourage him. Encourage him to slide off that ledge with you. That it was safe to do so.

Bucky’s upper half fell forward, his mouth resting against your cheek, as his pleasure took over. He didn’t stop moving, making sure you reached your end as well. Your free hand came up to his metal arm, acrylics scratching, your grip tough. You came with a prolonged shout, and Bucky came with a low and satisfied groan.

He immediately rolled off, laying beside you. He panted heavily, eyes closed.

“You good?” you asked, trying your best to catch your breath.

Bucky said nothing. He reached down between you and found your hand, holding it tightly.

“I had forgotten how fun it was when both people wanted it.”

~

[crowsquaks]

I pity Clow Reed.

His tragedy is one based on love that fucks me up.

Now before you call me out with "he fucked so much stuff up" "mans was the walking definition of a 'problem'" yes. I know- but that is exactly why I pity him and the cluster fuck he caused.

(This is way longer then I meant for it to be so it gets to go under a cut. I am completely NORMAL about this I swear.)

We get bits and pieces of who Clow was from Cardcaptor, Tsubasa, XXXHolic from an outsider view. He was weird, eccentric and powerful. Yet, when you put all of the view's together, you get this picture that I still have so many feelings with to this day.

Clow fucked up. He know he fucked up with his single thought that stopped Yuuko's time from continuing. Where she was supposed to die, and she didn't. She was stuck outside time by something he did on accident because for a split second he couldn't bear the thought to lose her. That was the moment the whole cycle started, and where he resented being as powerful as he was.

This one choice was something far worse then he could ever dream. (I will continue to pray to usagi to give me a manga, even a one shot I'm not picky, of Clow and Yuuko.)

Now, we know one thing. I will not back down from this, but Clow loved Yuuko. In what way can be interpreted however you want, family, friend, lover sort of love- but he loved her.(I can also ague Clow has a TYPE, but I digress.)He loved her so much that he lost control over his magic to try to stay with her. Which we see a theme in clamps works with the more power you have the more you have to be careful. With great power comes great responsibility.

After we see the loss of control, we don't know what happens next. Except at some point they never see each other again. What we do know is at some point Clow had Momo, but it seemed he wasn't able to use her for what he needed. What would he need her for? To try and fix his mistake with freezing Yuuko's time? Hmmmm. Well- Clamp??? Alas we'll never know, but the crumbs for us to think are there.

After that the timeline gets a little wonky, Clow makes Kero and Yue. He splits himself in 2. Makes his way to the country of Clow to fill the spot his not self is no longer in due to Fei Wong's fucking around. Then we've got nothing, no idea what actually happens to him in the clone time line, just poof. He dead and Toya is king.

The we hop back over to Eriol and he makes Suppie and Ruby moon. Which wouldn't make you suspicious, lonely dude made some friends- except butterflies. Who's mark are butterflies. Yuuko's are. There out in the open, a subtle gesture until remembering how much he loves his creations. Even if he is no longer "Clow" there is still a piece of him in there loving Yuuko.

IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL.

Clow Reed is a tragedy who is consumed by love and his hubris brought him to his knee's in the most human way possible.

~~

Quick side note, I wonder if the stray thought ever crossed Yuuko's mind looking at Watanuki that... if in another life she and Clow could have had a child. Would that child look as Watanuki does and is this what she couldn't have with him, because she already knows her story has ended. I like'd to to think the person she was talking to when she left was Clow.

[thegreenleavesofspring]

d'you mind elaborating on your ghost-beliefs? I'm curious (no pressure if you don't want to, or feel free to dm me if you'd prefer)

I would be THRILLED.

I am going to preface this with a criticism of Protestant leaders at large, specifically in the Western cultures: they have, by and large, entirely ceded the spiritual battleground to Satan in order to concentrate on capitulating more completely in the physical realm.

Further disclaimer: I was raised in the school of thought of "Ghosts are not real, you are delusional or seeing demons". I believed this wholeheartedly until I was in my twenties and started seeing them. This confounded me badly; I tried denial for a bit but once spirits figure out you can see them they don't really... leave you alone. I was then terrified I was losing either my mind or, worse, my faith, so I went a-hunting through the Bible, trying to reconcile what I'd been taught with the reality I could no longer deny.

Nowhere does the Bible say ghosts don't exist. In fact it comes right out and says that they do, once, and assumes their reality in other places.

The Witch of Endor summoned Samuel's ghost. (It should be noted that he was resting and at peace and was summoned, which makes him... not precisely a ghost as I see them but also, yes. A spirit of the dead.)

The disciples believed the risen Jesus was a ghost. They were reproved for their lack of faith in His words, but never were they reproved for believing in ghosts. In fact Jesus encouraged Thomas' belief by telling Thomas to touch him to prove His physical presence.

The dead got up and walked around during the Crucifixion (and I'd really like more details about that but alas.)

When Peter was released from prison, the disciples believed it was his 'angel' (or ghost?)

1 Corinthians 12:10 (that whole chapter is fantastic and also not widely taught)

So that's that. Biblical support.

Now how in blazes are ghosts possible when it says once for man to die and then the judgment?

This one I had to tumble around in my mind for a bit and I finally came to the conclusion that the answer lies in: Man is made in God's image. I've always heard this taught as body shape when it's taught at all, but I think that's not the whole picture.

I think human beings are triune the same way God is triune. In our case, here on earth, that takes the form of physical body/flesh - soul (which goes on to the eternal reward after the death of the body - and what I call the spirit, for lack of a better word - the mind, personality, and memories of the person; what makes us, us. This is what - as far as I can tell; mind you, I can see them, I don't ask a lot of questions - this is what lingers when the body dies and the soul moves on to be with God, or not.

I will add that the dead are meant to rest (sleep, as the Bible calls it). They want to. They're meant to. There's not really any such thing as a 'vengeful ghost' - those are demons masquerading. Ghosts look terrifying and feel terrifying and most the ones I've met have been shatteringly polite and apologetic and just want to rest, please.

Anyway yeah. Ghosts are real and angels are real and demons are real and I've met very, very few people who aren't a mass of confusion if not outright denial. And I wouldn't be surprised if I just lost half my followers with this but I'll admit it's good to be able to break silence at last.

PS: I'm not a witch or possessed. I have been Exorcised and everything. 🙄 I'm just using the gift God gave me.

[thesummerstorms]

This is sooo late, but I didn't have a proper keyboard while I was housesitting and I've just managed to sit down now and do anything that required any length typing.

Thank you to @nepobabyeurydice for the tag!

If I'm being honest, I've not perfectly been able to keep track of who I saw answer this already on my dash, but if you are a writer and we are mutuals, consider yourself optionally tagged.

When did you start writing?

I remember typing up original stuff on our hand me down Windows 95 computer in elementary school, though I could not tell you what any of it was about.

My first fic was a very, very, very cringy Naruto fic when I was 11 and emo everything was at the height of its popularity. I never finished it, and it is now nonexistent, which is very much for the best.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I read a somewhat decent amount of science fiction that isn't as "loose" in it's worldbuilding as even space opera, but you will never catch me doing world building outside of fantasy. I can make things internally consistent, but do not ask me to make them realistic to science.

Also, just in general, while I don't read action per say, or at least read for action, a lot of my favorite genres and series do have fight scenes, and I cannot write those at all.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I can trace a few things in my own writing- both good and bad!- to a handful of authors that particularly influenced me as a young teenager, but I don't think it's anything anyone else would pick up on.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have a proper desk in my bedroom with a desktop PC and two monitors and everything, and if I'm doing any serious and researched meta, or leaving comments on particular fics, I use that.

But I don't really write fic so much these days, and what I do post tends to be... fragments? Concepts? Worldbuilding that morphs into slightly-longer than drabbles? here on tumblr. And 95% of that gets posted from my phone because inspiration struck and it was in my hand.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't go seeking things out, honestly. Like I said, I don't write plotted or long fic or really much fic at all. So what I do write comes out because it's sitting there poking at my brain for too long and then I can't ignore it anymore.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

... looking at my SW stuff and my PJO stuff, one thing I guess I like the idea of a lot is the boundary between human/larger than human, mortal/immortal, mutable/immutable etc.

I loved some eldritch Force stuff and I love the idea of the PJO gods as being forces as much as or more than they are people.

Like, there's an Anne Carson translation of a Sophocles quote I saw for the first time years ago on tumblr- "Nothing vast enters the lives of mortals without ruin"- and I can't help but fixate still on that idea. What if the vast is inherently part of you but in a way that is alien to your humanity? What happens when the "vast" is both sympathetic and destructive to your personhood?

Also, a slightly less pretentious and definitely less wordy answer, I just think angst is fun to write. Not pure tragedy or grimdark, but angst.

What is your reason for writing?

My brain Will Not Shut Up and it has to go <i>somewhere.</i>

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want people to talk about ideas with me!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Not as a fiction writer per say, but I fucking killed every literary analysis paper I ever wrote in college. Like, this may sound arrogant, but I got nominated for awards by my professors. I thrived off of getting their feedback and that looping into a discussion. So I feel like meta comes easily as a result.

Now if only you could get paid and have health insurance writing literary analysis... alas, I cannot afford a doctorate and academia doesn't pay well or have decent enough healthcare access for my many needs.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I wish I could write long fic and coherent plots, but I am proud of the ideas I come up with sometimes.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I feel like most of my writing is in conversation with what I read, whether it be the original text, other folks' fic, or meta. But even if it's in conversation, I'm never going to even have the idea much less the words unless it's something I'm interested enough in that my brain snags on it.

[justicerikai]

graduation

In Japan, when one decides to move onto greener pastures or simply quit the current job they have been doing for quite a while, that is referred to as graduation.

And thus, I too, will be graduating from translating Charisma House.

Earlier this month (May 2023) I decided to go on a break due some medical and personal issues I had to deal with. No thinking about translating at all, just doing what I want and what I like. It's been roughly two weeks now and for someone who is doing things all the time, it was more than enough to decide where I want to keep going with translating.

Of course, this isn't a spontaneous decision. It's something that weighed in the back of my mind for a bit- can I handle all of this? I love translating, but can I handle all of it? No, I cannot. I need to know my limits.

But most importantly, know what's fun.

Charisma House was very novel for me. I had to learn to understand the humor, grasp what's being implied, the nuances of the jokes that can be easily misunderstood if not read properly. It was a challenge that definitely pushed me beyond anything else ever could. And yet, that honeymoon phase of grasping something so novel, so different, has come to an end.

I still love Charisma House, and always will. I actively keep up and peruse the interwebs for fun theories and content. Yet with the direction of Season 2, I have noticed... translating it no longer sparks joy as it once did. It is still good content, but not the one that made me lose my marbles, or perhaps I have simply gotten used to it?

Or perhaps, I simply just... lost the spark and drive I once had for it. And that is fine. Such is the beauty of what's fleeting, 物の哀れ if you will.

Translating Charisma House was, and will always, be a fun experience for me. I'm happy I took the risk, a mere amateur like I, to still translate it. I learned a lot, I laughed a lot, I shared a lot. I never thought I would translate drama tracks, or even still try with song lyrics (which I did give up on but alas). Besides this, I have also dabbled in subbing anime, I have even attempted manga translating. But at the end of the day I realized that what truly sparks joy, what actually is fun for me, for me is visual novel type content.

Not only that, I also want to translate because... I want to. Not because it is an obligation to give the people content. A few weeks ago, my favourite mobile game released an event with my two fave characters and I had so much fun working on it. I felt so excited with each phrase I translated, I couldn't wait to show this to people.

Even when I am thinking of an other mobile game that's coming out soon, all I can think of is "God, I cannot wait to share this with the masses! I have to! It's my duty as a human being!"

That feeling is, alas, what I have been lacking with Charisma House for a while. And that is when I should know better, and draw the line.

As I said, it is no longer fun.

Is it that serious? That I'm dropping a series that I have translated? No, probably not. Happens all the time, I'm sure there are others waiting in line to continue what I was doing, or maybe not. Who knows.

But to me, it is, and that's why I wanted to convey it in a long hefty post.

As closure, I will share some words of one of my favourite manga. Something I live by, and will for as long as possible.

"The world is filled to the brim with nice things... and all of them are carrying someone's intentions and feelings.

When those feelings get across and manage to make someone happy... I gain little pieces of confidence,

that I'll gather together and carry with me as I move on."

And I believe something like that, is only achievable when you do something that is fun, to you.

Thank you for reading, this post, and my translations. Thank you for being able to find enjoyment in Charisma House through my translations. This blog is not going anywhere and will stay up, of course. You will probably still see me around on my other ventures, just not here.

And never forget,

Rikai-kun is cute and he will always be.

Sayonara

[rosewood-multifandom-writer]

I have high doubts about RE5 getting the remake treatment. Here’s why:

In an old article, according to many game journalist websites, RE5 is a “racist” game. Here’s why I put racist in quotes. If you think my opinion is wrong, feel free to either keep scrolling or block me, I won’t take it personally. This is just how I personally feel about RE5.

First and foremost, I am speaking about this subject as a black person who does want to see good black representation in Resident Evil like Hunnigan, Sheva Alomar, and Josh Stone as I felt like those were the only three black characters that were the best representation in gaming from my own experiences.

To me, the only mildly racist moment would be Sheva in her “tribal” alternate costume, which is just a bathing suit costume but decided to put war paint on her, plus I think the business and fairy tale outfits were better on her as well as her default, but by the end of the day, the “tribal” costume is a fanservice costume that you don’t have to put on her and the game doesn’t force the player to use it. And there is a theme of racism that you have to look deeper into ala, Albert Wesker’s goal and actions in RE5.

If we’re talking full on racism, I’d say put on a hazmat suit if you run into a Sheva Alomar hater in that toxic part of the fandom.

So according to the article I used and many others, because you take control of Chris Redfield, a white man from America and you’re shooting at the Majini, which are Plagas infected African villagers (keep that in mind) and there are a group of Majinis that kidnap a woman and infect her.

Because the African villagers are depicted as “savages” in the words of most articles, RE5 is racist. But RE4 gets the pass and a remake because and I’m quoting The Atlantic article I used here: “the Spanish don't have the baggage of being stereotyped as subhuman animals for the past two hundred years.”

Latino men have been stereotypically depicted as macho and aggressive in the past. And that is still the case to this day. A November article from The Guardian also showed that 46.2% of Latino representation were depicted as violent criminals. 40% were depicted with a bad temper. And of course, 31.1% were sexualized. The Spanish have had to deal with stereotypes even in the present day.

If we really want to dive into a subtle racism allegory, it would be Wesker’s goals and why he chose Africa out of all continents.

First things first, Albert Wesker is a blonde who used to have blue eyes. Wesker wanted Plagas to kill billions upon billions of people, and decided to start in an African village, knowing full well that like that Spanish village, a village in Africa is the most vulnerable. And of course, a tribe that was dying out named Ndipaya.

It’s funny that these articles focused on Chris Redfield shooting the infected villagers that are being controlled by a parasite that killed them and are using them as a host to try to kill Chris and Sheva rather than focusing on the fact that Albert Wesker caused the events of RE5 in the first place.

But here is why RE5 is not racist for killing the Majinis. When a host is infected with Type 2 Plagas, they turn in seconds as seen with the first Majini you encounter in RE5. In RE4, the Spanish villagers are no longer human, they are now infected hosts who are being mind controlled. In RE and Code Veronica, the T-Virus zombies are no longer human, they are zombies. There is no more humanity or life in them anymore. They’re dead.

And also, I think these articles that are basically saying that you’re only allowed to kill Spanish and Asian NPCs, just not black NPCs is more racist than RE5 as a whole. Isn’t it also more racist for a person to look at black NPCs in RE5 and the first word that pops up in their head is, “savages?”

With that said, I’m gonna use the logic of those articles on other RE games.

RE2MAKE and RE3MAKE are racist because they killed off the only black characters in the games. RE4MAKE shouldn’t have happened because it’s racist to the Latin American community. RE6 has Asian hate written all over it and shouldn’t be remade.

So by that logic, none of those games should have been made and are all racist.

But because of the atmosphere of gaming and the internet right now and the fact that Capcom has censored themselves to offend less people or whatever their weird argument was for punishing players who had any mods, I don’t think RE5MAKE won’t happen, nor do I think it’s going to get the same treatment RE4MAKE got.

And if RE5MAKE does happen, more articles like that will be spewed no matter what Capcom does. If the infected African Villager NPCs are replaced by white NPCs, the game will be labeled as racist for whitewashing. If the infected African Villager NPCs are kept in, the game will be labeled as racist for depicting the Plagas infected villagers (whose corpses are now being controlled like a puppet by a parasite mind you) as “savages.”

It’s a lose-lose situation for RE5MAKE if it does get made.

The only option would be for RE5MAKE to take place in a different continent. It would still need to be a village because villages tend to be the most vulnerable places for infestations. But then we wouldn’t have Sheva Alomar or Josh Stone, so that would mean having to replace those characters with other characters. Which would be labeled as racist because Sheva and Josh get replaced by non-black characters.

Scratch what I said about it being a lose-lose situation. It’s a lose-lose-lose situation.

So yeah, the TL;DR: I don’t have hopes for RE5MAKE because Capcom has censored themselves when it came to RE and mods, Capcom wants to offend less people so they have to sanitize specific aspects of their game and ban nude mods of a specific female character but keeping the nude mods of the male characters.

If sanitizing RE5MAKE does become the case, then Capcom will end up doing it for nothing because it will still be labeled as a racist game no matter how they approach it. The atmosphere of online spaces and gaming spaces have changed so much that Capcom will end up taking an L no matter how they approach this game.

My expectations for RE5MAKE are practically on the ground. That is how low they are.

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode oven four

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

I find it funny that bo geol is considered the mean and condescending brother (in mok ha's eyes) when in reality he seems to be the more mature and rational one.

In that aspect, he does remind me a bit of ki ho because he's always thinking of everything and making sure to prevent risks from happening. He might keep a distance from mok ha because he doesn't know how to approach her after all these years?

As you can see, i'm very invested in the 'who is ki ho?' part of the plot.

For once (exageration), I agree with woo hak on the digital illeteracy. I'm seeing this first hand among neighbours and family friends. Some people take it for granted when they grew up with the internet and know how to work on laptops/computers. However, be geol should take into consideration that mok ha has lived on a deserted island for 15 years, i repeat 15 years!!! It's only normal she doesn't know how to do a lot of things that weren't necessary for survival.

I expected bo geol to be more understanding of mok ha because he seemed more polite than his brother. However, woo hak is the more empathetic one it seems.

Seeing mok ha being so impatient to reunite with ki ho makes me in turn impatient but alas, i don't think it'd be good to make them meet again right now because this drama would be 6 episodes long instead of 12.

it's beautiful how mok ha is offering to eat with woo hak just so he won't be alone. She's felt alone for a long time (both when she lived in chunsam and on that deserted island). The only person who showed her support hasn't reunited with her but she wants to be like ki ho: helping others during harsh times because she doesn't want that to happen to anyone else.

Woo hak, i think, holds a special place in mok ha's heart (unknowingly). I mean he's the first human she's seen after 15 years. She sees him like her savior. So yeah, it's understandable how she extends her hand towards him. Just like he did unintentionnally on the deserted island.

Honestly, is there anything bad about this drama?

The psychological warfare between lee seo jun and yoon ran joo... mind blown

The thing I appreciate the most is how mok ha is protecting ran joo and seeing right through the ceo's tactics. At least, there's one person on ran joo's side. I'm relieved.

The whole time mok ha was singing as ran joo, i was holding my breath and telling her to pay attention to her surroundings because someone might catch her and blow the whole cover up 💔😭😭😭

Mok ha in the white dress she's gorgeous 😍💓😍💓😍💓

I feel for ki ho because he thought by changing his identity he could escape his father. However, mok ha reappeared and everything is back to his teenage years. The vision of officer jung is scaring me.

Is this drama's purpose to confuse everyone watching or what? Because at this point I think ki ho is both brothers. I mean bo geol knew immediately where mok ha was even though woo hak didn't tell him about what's written in the card. But then, you have woo hak getting hit with memories (more like nightmares) of his father. I'm not sure how it'd be possible to get flashbacks from someone else's life. This isn't a sci-fi drama, is it?

Lee seo jun is shady soooooooooooooooooooo shady. I don't trust him and I don't want mok ha nor ran joo being around him.

THAT'S IT! I'm no longer watching the show. Why are you creating a love story between ran joo and lee seo jun? HUH?!!! Is ran joo going to be swayed by him and lose her career just for some man? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I don't approve.

I didn't think I'd say this but I'm thankful for lee seo jun being manipulative and disgusting. I do not want a love story between these two.

But the fact that he's basically stopping any of her albums to be sold so she won't reach the 20 million goal is utterly vile. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

What kind of man is scared of a woman's success? A BIGOT!

I don't know what to think of this episode. So many things happened.

I'm going to give this one a 8.75/10

[alligatorjesie]

For those of you who don’t know Bunny, she is commonly called a ‘bunny ear cactus’.

But don’t let the name fool you there is nothing fucking cute about this asshole.

She’s covered in nearly microscopic spines called glochids that can’t be pulled out with your fingers. No, this little shit’s glochids are so tiny you’ll have to use tweezers and a back light to even see them well enough to remove them. And if any part of the glochid is left in the skin which is likely because they regularly break with the frailty of my childhood dreams to become a real dinosaur, don’t fret, it’ll painfully remind you it’s there until you remove it entirely by itching and burning.

I put her in the pot I carved a spider on because I want everyone who sees her to instantly revolt enough to not touch.

Not to say Orb Weavers are revolting, I think they’re quite cute, just most people don’t like giant spiders. And what better way to telegraph ‘Do Not Touch’ then with a giant spider?

But this plant has taught me one thing and that’s how to be ‘the whole problem’.

So today I’m going to take her advice and be

The Problem.

@rjalker

No I don’t.

It’s really fucking weird how I’ve been in the reylo fandom for over 7 years and don’t remember this exchange. Or know anyone in the fandom who holds this belief.

You wouldn’t have any proof would you?

I’ll wait.

@machoestofmen

People who ship a canon ship from a very popular sci fi movie don’t deserve human rights?

The fuck?

No, no, What the fuck? Explain yourself.

A group of people don’t deserve human right because of a Fucking Ship?

I don’t fucking shit on you for enjoying Steven Universe porn, so who the flying fuck do you think you are to shame other people in fandom for enjoying a fictional fucking ship?

Fuck You.

@shadowmaat

You know I do agree with you about that whole ‘don’t send death threats’ thing. It’s a rule I follow religiously. I’m a furry you see, well before I was ever a reylo, and I’ve been told I should go die since I pretty much started using the internet back when I was a child.

It feels bad man.

But my God’s name in Christ have I met some Anti-Reylos who do not feel that telling someone to die is wrong in the slightest.

And these are just some of mine, not to mention the ones send to other reylos, which please allow me:

While I unfortunately with no doubt could go on, I don’t want to.

Getting told by an Anti I should have my dead body raped by a nail covered dildo for enjoying a ship once is once enough in a lifetime but alas, I gotten over 900 of them for being in the reylo fandom alone, not to mention the countless ones over a lifetime being a furry.

Don't recommend it.

0 out of 10.

This is a lot of harassment towards a fandom that isn't fucking racist but every time we try to point this fact out people like you jump to complete and total assfucks like @rootbeergoddess 's defense for some honestly pretty fucking false accusations.

I do stop and regularly think about why people think reylos are racist but struggle pretty hard because it’s not coming from inside this fandom that's for fucking sure.

In my experience, and who would have more here since I’m an active member of the reylo fandom since The Force Awakens came out back in 2015, the reylos have been quite good about pushing bad actors out of their fandom spaces. On par or surpassing even the furry fandom’s response to nazis in their fandom.

And furries take kicking nazis Very Seriously.

The assholes very happily reveal themselves and the fandom as a whole pushes them out like a splinter. Feel free to show me a post where a reylo was being racist and I'll show you that person's dead account because the reylo fandom did it's due diligence.

Most of the instances that antis give me as ‘proof’ has been easily debunked in a few minutes with Google only to reveal the user in question is no longer an active member of the reylo community because they’ve been asked to fucking leave and the offending account is no longer active.

I have examples if you'd like to see them:

Like this one where the OP posted a tweet from an account that just liked to cause shit and had long ago been banned.

This one from a user who went silent back in early 2021 after some intense fallout in the fandom.

This one, a DM sent to the OP in another language and looking through a bad translation was a rather heartfelt plea which OP somehow misinterpreted as a death threat because they couldn’t fathom why a reylo would send such a thing to such a account after dealing with their harassment on top of the entire shit show that was 2020.

Or this one, which they caption as a reylo post but since they removed the unsername and I did legitimately struggle to find the original post we can only fucking guess if it is or isn’t actually a reylo. Then managed to repost finnrey artwork from another user without asking and couldn't be fucked to spend 5 minutes with Google to figure out who it was.

I had to do extra work because this user really liked to block out the usernames from the people who said this shit.

Paradoxically protecting the people they’ve set out to shame.

Mind you this user is also a hardcore finnrey shipper who thinks the reylos are racist for shipping Rey with Ben and are somehow responsible for Disney not pairing him with Rey even though he has 3 other love interests that don't involve pairing him with the white girl. They have multiple accounts dedicated to harassing reylos.

So this is just a thing they like to do.

Listen. I get it you don’t like reylos because maybe you saw a 5 year old tweet where a long ago shunned user who hasn't been active in the reylo fandom for at least 3 years now said some pretty gnarly shit or you decided long ago you don’t like some aspect of the ship because you feel in your giblets something was sus about it then treated the people in the fandom like shit but just can’t ever figure out why they’re always to rude to you or you don’t like Ben because you think he’s a nazi even though every time we try to show you the perfectly fine Hux who literally did this in the very first movie you just close your eyes and thumb up your ears, whatever the fucking reason.

I want you to understand one very important thing:

There are in fact real nazis Star Wars fandom

Really real racists

Who make being in this fandom day after day a fucking gantlet.

but my guy,

my dude,

my tumblr affiliate,

The reylos are not those people.

I do however regularly see Antis calling reylos racist but then the proof they have is wild shit like a photo edit made by a 15 year old back in 2016 and someone just took the fact they had to remove Finn to put Ben in there as ‘proof of racism’.

Like,

Ya’ll,

It’s a fan edit made by a teenager. It ain’t that fucking nefarious.

Not when you consider we get this almost exact shot in the movies nearly 7 years later.

Almost like this was the natural progression of this character in these movies.

And that this ship was very obvious from the start of this trilogy.

And that maybe harassing a group of women who simply had the wherewithal to notice the son of 2 OG characters was probably gonna be redeemed and suffering 7 years of harassment over A Romantic Ship So Obvious And Telegraphed They Had Actors Auditioning for Kylo Ren Read Lines From 'Pride and Prejudice' was maybe unjustified.

Re-fucking-gardless of the ship and how canon it is or isn't.

I got fanfiction. I got fanart. I don’t need official Star Wars to care about reylo. We still care about reylo and make reylo content and for most people in this fandom that is more than enough. This is a very active fandom and content is being created for it daily, years after the last absolute disappointment of a movie that was ep9 came out.

Disney ain't going to stop me from drawing smut of the characters I love. Anti-reylos ain't going to change the fact reylos have wrote a better episode 9 a thousand times over on AO3, and their versions have some great fucking sex scenes in them. Disney would fucking never give me that much although The Last Jedi did have a lot of metaphorically literal pussies in it and I got to say I appreciate that Rian.

In fact I don't know a single reylo who would tell anyone from any other fandom not to pursue the ship they enjoy. If you're a Finnrey and you hate reylo so much you do nothing else but write fanfiction where Finn and Rey spend 20 chapters brutally beating Kylo Ren within and inch of his life and end ever chapter by having graphic sex in front of his bloodied and beaten body, a little fucking psychotic of you and maybe you should talk to a doctor about all this misdirected anger but I can tell you one fucking thing right now:

The Reylos wont stop you.

I don't know of a single reylo who has ever told someone from another fandom they can't ship what they like but god fucking damnit if I ain't seen page upon page of anti-reylos telling us we can't ship reylo because of X, Y, and Z reasons.

I don’t think I’m crazy. I’ve been in this fandom too long to not notice this trend and it’s an alarmingly common one. The first group of people most likely to attack reylos are alt-right nazis on twitter and reddit, and the second group is anti-reylo finnreys who are upset because a few Reylos asked John Boyega to maybe not talk about the Married Woman he calls his friend like she's a trophy to be fucked to one up those same alt-right nazis on fucking Twitter.

Fun fact you probably didn't know;

The tweet that John originally responded to with the 'lay pipe' tweet was in fact an alt-right sock puppet account who's sole purpose was to stir shit.

It's an awful but painfully enlightening read if you wish to check out the full article.

Isn’t something about all that a little fucking weird to you?

Why is it this way?

And don’t tell me ‘the racism’ because if you bothered to read a single thing above this sentence you’d know it most fucking certainty is not.

I don’t want to hate anyone in this or any other fandom. I would absolutely adore a world where any fan of any ship can stroll through reddit or twitter or tumblr proclaiming to all the world the thing they love and never see one negative comment about it because ultimately at the end of the day it's all fiction and this doesn't hurt you personally.

Don’t you wanna live in that world? The world where you can post your Finnrey smut and I can post my furry reylo smut and the kylux shippers can post their BDSM artwork and the guys who are still shipping Luke and Leia can go do whatever the fuck they’re doing in their corner, what the fuck ever man they’re consenting adults who ain't hurting anyone at this point and I got not skin in that game, and we can all just get the fuck along.

Ship what you.

I ain't your fucking mother.

But I am a motherfucker.

@blackfilmmakers

Allow me to extend an incredibly rare olive branch as I’m not known in this fandom for being calm and collected but I feel somewhere along the way you and the reylo fandom got off on the wrong foot. I feel as if with very minimal heartfelt conversation with one you will find we’re not the horrible racist fandom you should be hating on and are actually very similarly treated as people of color are by the Star Wars fandom as a whole.

The Star Wars fandom historically does not like women just as much as they don’t like people of color.

And a large portion of reylos are women.

I will happily hold your hand and walk you through the issues you have with this fandom and the very not real fictional characters in it. I will do it personally and if you ask Very Nicely I won’t even say the word ‘Fuck’ if that pleases you.

All I ask is when I show you my consideration that maybe those Reylos who were racist to you once are no longer in the fandom and if you give me just a moment of your time I can prove it to you. All I ask is that you put your bias aside momentarily and hear me out.

After all who would know about the reylo fandom more than an active reylo?

I get it. Some people in the Star Wars fandom were mean to people of color. But won't you be just absolutely shocked to hear that those assholes were mean to the reylos too?

The reylos who are overwhelmingly not white by the way, 68% white is an unheard statistic when the furry fandom is a comical 83% white.

For years, even after The Last Jedi came out, Reylos were regularly banned from Star Wars communities. Posts users made about the subject would get locked and the user banned.

There are numerous areas of reddit that are still incredibly hostile to reylos and people of color in the Star Wars fandom.

Go on meow.

Make a positive post at reddit’s r/saltierthancrait about a black character in Star Wars and then make another post speaking positively about reylo and watch as they both get down voted into oblivion.

We’ve both been going through the same hate in this fandom so you have to understand why I’m so completely fucking baffled that you’ve taken all this anger and hatred you’ve received from the Star Wars fandom as a whole and directed it at the one group of fans who have been treated just as poorly by the overarching Star Wars fandom.

Who in the reylo fandom has recently harassed you? Who in the reylo fandom was being openly racist to you? In the last few days? Months? Years? Tell me who the fuck they are and I will personally chew them a new asshole and tell them to get the fuck out of the fandom, as I’ve made it quite clear I’m more than capable of doing it.

I don’t want racist fuckwads in my community anyways.

I don’t accept them in the furry fandom, and I don’t accept them in the reylo fandom.

I’m spending my time here and now on this because you’re giving the spotlight to someone who is making some pretty fucking harsh and out-fucking-right lies about a fandom I’m an active member in that I love very much. I've spent nearly 8 years now building a worldwide community that stretches to every corner of the planet so it feels really shitty when someone who made a post Straight Out Lying about that fandom gains undeserved traction.

Let's dissect @rootbeergoddess's post down a little shall we?

I know it’s been a while since I ranted about Reylo but I find so funny is how the Reylos killed their own fandom and now they have nothing.

Nothing? The reylos have nothing? We don't have over 30 published books that were once reylo fanfictions?

We don't have a thriving active communities on tumblr and twitter?

There were over 18 new posts to the #reylo tag Just Last Night and at least 3 of them were brand new pieces of artwork. At least 8 of those were fanfic related.

And that's just on tumblr.

Right out the fucking gate and they're full of shit.

And to be honest, I don’t think I would have hated Reylo so much had the fans had been decent people. Like if you’re going to ship something problematic, just admit that it is and don’t be surprised if some people don’t like it.

It's called 'enemies to lovers' not 'friends to besties' you daffy fuck. It's safe to fucking say the characters start out as enemies since there's a fucking war going on in the movies.

You sure seem to like Five Nights a Freddie's an awful lot even though the characters in the game literally kill people, but I'll be goddamned it no one ever tells you you can't woobify them and draw porn of them or whatever the fuck your blog is filled to the brim with.

If Darth Fucking Vader can get a goddamn redemption after a lifetime of murdering I think we as fans can forgive Ben for a few reasons because:

It's fucking fake. Ben Solo/Rey/reylo isn't real and they can't hurt you.

If reylo has hurt you it's because you let it hurt you.

I'm not holding a goddamn gun to your head and telling you to ship reylo. No one in this fucking fandom is doing that. If it ain't your jam then leave it the fuck in the fridge and go about your day.

I'm not going to admit my ship is problematic because A: It's a pretty fucking vanilla enemies-to-lovers ship and B: even if it fucking was what fucks should you give?

No one in any fandom is fucking demanding you ship something.

But Reylos had to be extra. They had to be racist as hell as well as annoying. They were so annoying that various people who work for Lucasfilm went private. They spammed Tumblr tags constantly! Also, on Twitter they went around, commenting on any and all Star Wars tweets with #SaveBenSolo.

Hey guys is posting in our own fucking tag spamming? Asking for a friend.

See, I've been in this fandom for a really long time and I recall many positive engagement with reylos since Daisy kept liking and reposting reylo artwork and Kelly also showed an interest in the ship.

I don't recall the reylos being the reason Daisy Ridley or Kelly Marie Tran felt the need to leave the fucking internet. Reylos actually like those characters and actors.

But users like rootbeergoddess sure knows a thing or 2 about harassing people for enjoying a ship.

And now they don’t have anything. There is no way in hell Disney is going to make another movie related to the new trilogy and I doubt they’ll make any other media related to it either. All that work at being the worst part of the Star Wars fandom and they nothing.

Disney could fucking explode tomorrow but I will continue to draw reylo porn. The active members of this fandom will not be fucking stopped either. It has been 3 years since The Rise of Skywalker came out and even still this fandom is nonplussed by the shit ending they gave us. We just made new endings.

Disney has no fucking power over me or anyone else in this fandom.

This isn't the dig you think it is.

I could not give a single fuck if Disney never touches the sequel trilogy again.

Unlike rootbeergoddess who seems real upsetty the MCU is a fucking thing and seems to let a lot of things bother them.

Now that we got that out of the way let's take a quick look at what I mean by 'Rootbeergoddess seems to let a lot of things bother them' and take a stroll though their fucking dense 'anti' tags.

The user you choose to reblog this post from has a long history of harassing members of the reylo fandom.

They have a long and concerning history of harassing A Lot of fandoms.

@rootbeergoddess has a fucking problem and needs to talk to someone about it instead of spending 200+ posts since 20cocksucking17 dedicated to shitting on a fandom that consists of mostly young women of a wide assortment of races who just want to see two characters bang.

This level of harassment isn't any fucking different than the people who harassed Kelly Marie Tran and Daisy Ridley off the internet by doing shit just like this.

I understand that the point of this blog is to uplift black voices and good on you, I’m glad you’re doing that and I wish you 100 more happy years doing it, but yo, you're not helping Anyone if the voice you choose to lift has just as many empty incorrect hurtful accusations as the

very real

very hateful racist

already known to be in this fandom.

Aww shit I gotta level all this snark out with some positivity uhh let's see here fandom positive fandom posit- Ahh! Here we go!

Some Untitled Goose/Porg Game fanart I made.

I would play the shit out of that game.

[universestreasures]

@jeweledknight​ Sent: A Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Starter (No Longer Accepting!)

“Come on. You didn’t think I’d actually stay-“ [@ Rekka]

“I...I was kinda hoping you would...” 

The unusually depressed words of the Duchess of Hearts slip out from her lips, the volume of them being so low the White Queen might have missed it. Rekka didn’t get to see her sisters often. Holidays like the Unbirthday they were celebrating for Kourin were the only time the time-loop of a daily routine the White Rabbit had subjected everyone to would temporarily be changed. This allowed not only more freedom for the residents of the lands ruled by the Queen Hearts for the holiday period, but also allowing those from lands not under their domain to enter the red gates of the palace. 

It was a shame time couldn’t loop on these days. These days being on repeat Rekka and surely the other residents would appreciate. Anything was better than the hell of monotony they had been subjected to because of the White Rabbit’s futile attempts to hold the sanity of the Queen together. Rekka wondered just how long before Misaki would finally crack and this sinking ship would finally become a sunken one. After all, he wasn’t exactly tackling the problem, despite what he might believe. Tackling it would actually involve helping the broken heart of the Queen through the stages of grief instead of just trying to keep things as close as they were to the ‘happy times’ before the incident.  

But that stubborn bunny wouldn’t listen to anyone. He was too blind, too stupid, too proud to hear the advice of anyone. Rekka’s tried. Ren’s tried. Hell, even Asaka’s tried. No one’s words would reach those ears of his. Only her majesty could get through to him, but she’s too concerned with...well her grief to really have the agency to do anything about it. She wasn’t seeing how allowing the White Rabbit to act outside of his role has caused sufferings to her people, the very people she wanted to free from the chains that bound them to their roles.

How ironic...

The entire situation made her envious of Suiko and Kourin. They got to be away from this madness, free to live out their lives with the roles they were given in their own way. It was a life Rekka should have had, and one she wanted to have, but alas...there was a shackle to her legs unlike the elder two. She was the Duchess of Hearts, not the Duchess of White after all. And there was nothing she could do to change that. Nothing at all...

“Kou, when was the last time you, me, and Sui got to do anything fun together?” 

Honestly, it’s been so long that Rekka can’t recall. Then again, her entire vision of time was skewed. Everyday looked the same, until the White Rabbit announced a holiday that would shake things up like today’s. It was no wonder she felt so small compared to her sisters, who both have grown so much since she last saw them unlike her who looked and was the same, like an untouched doll that had been sitting on a shelf waiting to be played with.

She then sighs, her real emotions seeming to come out. They were ones she’s been forced to keep in. For what friends does she even have in this red prison? “Things around here...are getting worse by the day, and...I won’t be shocked if even these holiday breaks are taken away from us by that stupid bunny. I just...I just want to spend some time with my family. Is that so hard to believe?”

Yes Rekka may be arrogant. She may be selfish, proud, and haughty, all of which are characteristic of her role, but...she is still Rekka. She is still the little sister of Kourin and Suiko. She is still a person with thoughts, feelings, and wants. That’s what the White Rabbit seems to be forgetting; that the end the day they are people Though, she thinks is not too surprising for him to be unable to comprehend that. He wasn’t exactly supposed to be human, only granted that form by Misaki because she wanted him to be more than a furry lap warmer.

What a waste of her feelings if you asked the Duchess of Hearts. Wonderland would be off so much better if their Queen of Hearts never had met the White Rabbit, a meeting that had been brought about because of the very sister that Rekka so desperately was wanting to spend time with...

“One hour. One hour is all I’m asking of you, Kou.” She thinks the White Rabbit will find them and ruin it if they tried for anything longer than that. Thankfully he seemed to be preoccupied with the preparations for the Unbirthday party later that day. “Can’t you do that...for your little sister?”

~

[jiminsass-istant]

Hello talking about boycott anon here,

i will stay anon longer, i dont want to be doxxed (with the climate and how army is moving rn it is very high probability).

sorry if this is going to be messy and all aroung the place. Hopefully it is gonna make at least some sense to you.

Not sure if you know what fanon means in fanfiction community, but it is when fans think of something/someone and fandom accepts it as the truth that happened even when it was not specifically said in the original media. this is rn i feel like. like i believed in the fanon version of bts, that army (the waters i was floating aroung at least) was presenting bts to be. someone who is believed to have their morals, to hold their ground, to care about the world.

so right now my fanon version of bts is meeting the (maybe) more real version of bts and it hurts. but that is on me letting my perception being clouded by other people views.

.

I as person with zero soft power and audience, i can scream into the void about how it is against humanity what is happening right now outside... And nothing happens. On other hand people with enormous influence are sitting it out and nothing happens...only them being used as puppets of consumerism to be able to sell out everything (the bt21 /possible/ collab with mcsht made me laugh ngl, it was not a good laugh tho...)

But at least i dont see them later doing docu ala Miss Americana about the heavy burden of power and responsibility.

In the end what as i individual think of them is not really important on the macro scale, but on my microscale letting go of the fanon version and see what they present themselves as without the interpretation of people loving and believing in them, it is freeing -> to view them as plain and simple entertainment to be consumed and moved on without any real life impact.

.

And the reason why i was more disappointed in them than every other idol working with zionists, endorsing things on boycott etc. Cuz the others were for me the mindless consumption entertainment which never had the inclination to be more than being consumed (ie i never thought of them as being pro humanity, only pro income 🤣), which may be shitty on my end to held someone on higher standard than their peers when in the end all kpop/entertainment is pro income. (As music for healing does not exists anymore).

Ps with how mr scrotum braun is moving at this point, im curious what is it is gonna take for american hybe to be put on the bds list...

Ps 2 greetings to skewed!anon

Ps3 if im still alive and around when they announce the world tour and israhell is gonna be one of the stops, im going to have aneurysm from bitter laughing...

I'm so glad you're back! This is gonna be lengthy..

Thanks for explaining what fanon means and now I get it too- what you mean. We perceive them through the way the fandom presents them. Through YT videos and tweets that praise them for each little thing, for their struggle story (which is true, but also a great way to market them).

As these perfect individuals with high morals (and they sure might be! Not negating that possibility). But like Yoongi said - everyone thinks they have the perfect sense of morality and justice. And it applies to armies as well as internet community.

We, as people have always been caught up between politics, been engaged in wars, been victims or have been enablers without much control over it. The genocide in Palestine is the first case ( esp. after october last year) wherein there has been such a widespread awareness - at least among netizens. Even the Ukraine war wasn't this talked about. And this news was bound to affect fandoms at some point.

The root cause has always been politics. And who decides which politicians are in power? Us. The people who select the leaders. Why does Israhel has immense power and is backed by the US? Because that's the kind of leaders they chose. If there are people who need to speak up, it's the local communities, the voters, the changemakers. I appreciate the road rallies and protests across the world to support the Palestinian cause.

Unfortunately, most of the discourses on the internet are useless. Unless the internet is used to gather people, form local communities, gather donors for the cause, all other debate is useless. The BDS list boycott would be so much more effective if it was done on the ground. Imagine a local area boycotting mcd. The franchise would be shutdown- people would hear about it in the nearby areas and get curious.

But what happens when 2000 people from different cities of the world 'like' a post asking for boycott of mcd? Nothing. What happens when a post cancelling a kpop idol over McD gets 10k likes? Umm.. nothing. And this would still be fine if this energy translated to local awareness. But is that happening? I live in a big city and people here still go to starbcks, order mcd, burger king etc etc. All educated folks, all with access to the internet.

Companies will always be pro-income. That's why the only way to get them to divest is to affect their income. Start by shutting down their stores one by one. In my country, if you speak against israhell, some people might jump you or call you crazy because they are straight up islamophobes. That's why all i can do is quietly boycott.

If Hybe makes it to bds list.. I'll say goodbye to being a hard-core army. I'll still enjoy their songs and performances (from official channels) but i won't invest my time and money anymore.

That's why..(coming to your point now lol), it's best to see them as musicians only. Just musicians. What are we even gonna achieve by harassing an active duty soldier? SOLDIER!! A job that they are forced to do, btw. They are not saviours of humanity and they never will be. Their UNICEF campaign was also *business*. Literally to promote their album and massive tour. Yes they cared for the cause, but it was not for funsies or their main goal. It was for longevity as artists. Them donating to BLM was also caring for the cause because it was a massive movement at that time. If they were not in military, i believe they would have even donated to the Palestinian victims if other celebrities were also donating.

Israhell as world tour stop.. wouldn't that be 'love myself' ( as a genocide supporter) to another level? Lol. That would suck so bad..if that happens. But then again..it SHOULDN'T suck so bad because why attach your happiness to the moralities of businessmen?

What Palestine is facing right now is the collective result of Islamophobia propagated by the US around the world for years. Through their news, by calling them terrorists, by inciting other countries, by supporting genocides. This is the result of being complicit. And this goes to all people around the world. You should have chosen your leaders wisely. The reason Israhell is so powerful is because countries have been investing in it, in return for defence resources exchange, using the excuse of "donation to israhell victims of hamas terrorism".

Anyway.. *sigh*

You can DM me, you won't be doxxed chill. Upto you of course.

And I hope you stay happy and healthy:)