#I beg of someone to help me
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I pity Clow Reed.
His tragedy is one based on love that fucks me up.
Now before you call me out with "he fucked so much stuff up" "mans was the walking definition of a 'problem'" yes. I know- but that is exactly why I pity him and the cluster fuck he caused.
(This is way longer then I meant for it to be so it gets to go under a cut. I am completely NORMAL about this I swear.)
We get bits and pieces of who Clow was from Cardcaptor, Tsubasa, XXXHolic from an outsider view. He was weird, eccentric and powerful. Yet, when you put all of the view's together, you get this picture that I still have so many feelings with to this day.
Clow fucked up. He know he fucked up with his single thought that stopped Yuuko's time from continuing. Where she was supposed to die, and she didn't. She was stuck outside time by something he did on accident because for a split second he couldn't bear the thought to lose her. That was the moment the whole cycle started, and where he resented being as powerful as he was.
This one choice was something far worse then he could ever dream. (I will continue to pray to usagi to give me a manga, even a one shot I'm not picky, of Clow and Yuuko.)
Now, we know one thing. I will not back down from this, but Clow loved Yuuko. In what way can be interpreted however you want, family, friend, lover sort of love- but he loved her.(I can also ague Clow has a TYPE, but I digress.)He loved her so much that he lost control over his magic to try to stay with her. Which we see a theme in clamps works with the more power you have the more you have to be careful. With great power comes great responsibility.
After we see the loss of control, we don't know what happens next. Except at some point they never see each other again. What we do know is at some point Clow had Momo, but it seemed he wasn't able to use her for what he needed. What would he need her for? To try and fix his mistake with freezing Yuuko's time? Hmmmm. Well- Clamp??? Alas we'll never know, but the crumbs for us to think are there.
After that the timeline gets a little wonky, Clow makes Kero and Yue. He splits himself in 2. Makes his way to the country of Clow to fill the spot his not self is no longer in due to Fei Wong's fucking around. Then we've got nothing, no idea what actually happens to him in the clone time line, just poof. He dead and Toya is king.
The we hop back over to Eriol and he makes Suppie and Ruby moon. Which wouldn't make you suspicious, lonely dude made some friends- except butterflies. Who's mark are butterflies. Yuuko's are. There out in the open, a subtle gesture until remembering how much he loves his creations. Even if he is no longer "Clow" there is still a piece of him in there loving Yuuko.
IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL.
Clow Reed is a tragedy who is consumed by love and his hubris brought him to his knee's in the most human way possible.
~~
Quick side note, I wonder if the stray thought ever crossed Yuuko's mind looking at Watanuki that... if in another life she and Clow could have had a child. Would that child look as Watanuki does and is this what she couldn't have with him, because she already knows her story has ended. I like'd to to think the person she was talking to when she left was Clow.
#clow reed#yuuko ichihara#tsubasa chronicle#tsubasa reservoir chronicle#cardcaptor sakura#xxxholic#Clamp analyzation in the year of 2023#please help me my brain hasn't known peace since i thought of this a few days ago#I beg of someone to help me#*cries* THEY WERE IN LOVE AND FATE STRIKES AGAIN#I may be a little un hinged#crows squaking
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Steddie Week 2024
July 5th Prompt: Reunion
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 6 | Day 7
@steddie-week
“Babe,” Eddie calls from the kitchen. Steve’s in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, so he garbles out an unintelligible one minute! before quickly finishing.
He walks into the kitchen, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “What’s up?”
Eddie’s eyes are dancing with mirth as he helps Steve fix his collar. “You’ll never guess what just came in the mail.”
Steve raises a brow. “You’re acting like my parents are groveling at the door right now.”
Eddie barks out a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart, no. I’d very much be laughing in their faces if that’s what was happening.” He grabs Steve’s glasses from the counter he’d forgotten them on last night, unfolds them, and carefully slides them on Steve’s face. “No migraines,” he murmurs, and Steve’s hit with a rush of love so big he just has to tell Eddie.
“I love you.”
Eddie smiles softly; a small, disbelieving, hopeful thing that’s never changed from the first time Steve said it. “And I, my love,” he murmurs back. “But no, it’s not your parents.” His grin grows into a giggle. “It’s fuckin’ Hawkins High.”
Steve makes a face. “It’s still standing?”
Eddie snorts. “Apparently-fucking-ly.” He grabs two letters; one with Steve’s name, one with Eddie’s. “One letter for each of us. I already opened mine. It’s a reunion.”
Steve furrows his brows, rips into the envelope, pulls the paper out. “Hawkins High School… forty-year reunion… de-” he frowns up at Eddie. “Decennial?”
Eddie hums, nods. “Every ten years. God knows where our other ones went.”
Steve hums. “Guess we can throw these in the trash, huh?”
Eddie shifts. “You don’t want to go?”
Steve stares at him incredulously. “You do? You, Eddie Munson, want to go back to the place where—and these are your words, here—apart from our group of friends, only the- the backwoods of inbreeding resides?”
Eddie cackles. “Oh yeah, I did say that, didn’t I?” He’s delighted. Steve’s finding it hard not to smile in the face of that joy.
“So you want to go back?”
Eddie shrugs. “Think about it,” he requests. “I don’t want to go to see how anyone else is doing. Frankly, I don’t have the time to give two shits about them. But you know I’ll always jump at the chance to show you off.”
Steve raises both eyebrows this time. “You want to show me off? In fucking Hawkins?”
Eddie deflates. “You don’t want to go.”
Steve shakes his head. “No, babe, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that even though it’s legal, even though we’re officially married now, if there’s one place that isn’t gonna be accepting…” he trails off, lets Eddie finish the thought for himself.
“What if I convince Nancy to come?”
��Well, she’ll have to come if we go, won’t she? Cause you know she’ll go anywhere Robin does, and Robin’s gonna follow me, so…”
Eddie snickers. “Okay, yeah, fair enough. But babe, we’ll have Nancy and Robin on our side. The three of you took on Vecna, I think you can take on some overweight, washed-up, balding fifty-something-year-old.” He squeezes at Steve’s biceps, and Steve tries not to preen.
He’s proud of the care he’s shown his body, he’s proud of the way he looks, he’s proud that Eddie likes the way he looks. He can feel his resolve waning, is about to tell Eddie fuck it, let’s go, when his phone rings.
He pats his pockets, looks around for it. “Room,” Eddie supplies, and Steve gratefully peck his cheek before jogging to their room, where it’s laying on his nightstand. Eddie walks in as he answers it, having followed at a more sedate pace. “Hello?”
“Are you going to the reunion?”
“Hey, Robbie,” Steve chuckles, meets Eddie’s eyes. “Yeah, we are.”
“Yes!” She cheers. “You’re the best, we’re getting joint hotel rooms, right?”
He laughs and sits on the edge of the bed. “It’s Hawkins, Robs, I don’t think it has anything quite that fancy.”
Robin groans, loud and long enough that both Steve and Eddie have to stifle their giggles. “But I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“It’s been barely a week, Robbie.”
“That’s what I said!”
He relents. “I know. I miss you too. We’ll see you there?”
“Yeah,” she agrees, and hangs up.
Steve looks at Eddie, amused. “I guess we’d better pack. And you should tell the guys, don’t you have something going on that day?”
“Oh, shit,” Eddie says, and runs to the living room for his phone.
Steve surveys their room and sighs. He calls out to Eddie, “bring me a notepad on your way back, please!”
Eddie does, so he sets to work making a list for everything they need to pack while Eddie types away, postponing his plans.
While they might not get joint hotel rooms, Steve, Eddie, Robin, and Nancy are carpooling back to Hawkins in Robin’s van. She’s driving, Nancy’s in the passenger seat, Steve’s right behind Robin and Eddie’s right behind Nancy. Their luggage is piled precariously in the back, meaning every time Robin turns, the luggage slides from one side of the van to the other. Steve, with his mostly-undiagnosed OCD, flinches every time. And every time, Eddie pats his hand.
Besides the shifting suitcases, it’s a nice ride, even if Steve does grab Eddie’s hand and squeeze, just a hair tightly, whenever they pass the Welcome to Hawkins! sign.
Everyone gets a little quiet, after that. Robin fumbles with the radio, and Eddie perks up. “This song,” he says, practically bouncing in his seat.
Steve snorts. “Iron Maiden,” he tells her.
“The fact that you know that-”
“It gets worse,” he tells her, grinning. “The song is called Wasted Years. I know all the words.”
Robin grins, turns the volume up.
The joke’s really on her, though, because she’s always been good at music, patterns, and she’s singing the chorus with him and Eddie by the time they get to the end of the song, Nancy laughing at them. “So understand,” they sing, Robin glancing in the rearview mirror, Steve looking from her to Eddie and back again. “Don’t waste your time always searching for those wasted years. Face up, make this stand. And realize you’re living in the golden years!”
Steve and Eddie are practically screaming it at each other by the last line. Robin’s given up to join Nancy in laughing at them. Steve joins in as Eddie plays air guitar to the end of the song, collapsing in a laugh when it’s finally over.
“Okay,” Eddie says, grinning. “I think I could take on anything now.”
“Yeah?” Nancy asks, pointing ahead. “You’re ready for the reunion?”
They’d decided, since the last time they took a proper road trip had been too many years ago, they could do it the same day as the reunion.
They’d forgotten how getting old, coupled with the problems every one of them still has from the Upside Down, means they’re all very much sore from sitting in a car for upwards of five hours.
The plan was drive the five-something hours, go to the reunion, crash in the hotel, and drive back home the next day.
Steve hates the plan now and wants to go to the hotel to rest like the old man he’s letting himself be.
However unfortunate it may be, the reunion is today, which means Steve gets to suck it up, say hi to people he probably doesn’t even remember anymore, and then leave.
He hops out of the car and stretches a little, laughing when Eddie attempts the same hop out of the car and almost eats asphalt. “Dumbass,” he mutters. Eddie shoots him a Cheshire grin.
Before long they’re ready to walk inside. Steve takes a breath as he passes through the doors. The hallways are the same, but the lockers are new. It still smells like teenagers and feet, he notices, wrinkling his nose. The things you’ll get nose-blind to, he supposes.
The letters they’d gotten said the reunion was to be held in the gym, so that’s where they head.
Steve didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a few snack tables along the edge of the room and a single Reunion of ‘85 banner. “Goddamn,” Eddie says from beside him, “depressing much?”
Steve snorts in agreement and walks over to the drink table. If he’s going to talk to people, he’s at least going to have questionable-looking punch while he does.
When he turns after getting punch, he nearly runs into someone. He quickly steps back. “Oh, sorry!” He looks up into the shocked face of Tommy Hagan. He blinks. “Tommy?”
“Steve.”
Steve smiles. “How’ve you been?”
Tommy blinks, like he can’t believe Steve’s being nice to him right now, and that’s when Steve remembers they’d parted on not-so-nice terms. Oh well, he would’ve feigned politeness even if he’d remembered. “I’m good, yeah, uh, how- how’re you?”
“I’m good,” Steve agrees. “Really good. Last I remember you and Carol were dancing around each other, yeah? What happened there?”
“We got married,” Tommy nods.
“Congratulations!”
“And then divorced two years later,” Tommy adds, smirking. Steve winces. “How about you? Last I knew, it was you and Wheeler, ‘cept she cheated on you with Byers, yeah?”
“God,” Steve laughs, “that was so long ago. Yeah, that happened. We talked it through and Nance and I are really good friends now. She’s married to someone else, as am I, but we both keep in touch with Jon, thought he’s out in California now.”
Tommy’s brow raises. “Married? Who’s the lucky girl?”
A presence beside him makes Steve turn to see Eddie grinning at him. “My ears are burning.”
“They should be,” he laughs. “Tommy, you remember Eddie?”
“Munson,” Tommy nods, then does a double take. “Wait, you’re married?”
“As of three years ago now,” Eddie says proudly. “But together for…”
“Thirty-seven years,” Steve provides, smiling at his husband before turning back to Tommy. “Did you ever get remarried after Carol?” Tommy shakes his head.
Eddie whispers in Steve’s ear, “You know he totally had the hots for you, right?”
Steve winces at the blast of static from his hearing aid and quickly shuts it off. “Ow,” he mutters, grinning crookedly at Eddie, who looks apologetic. He quickly signs what he’d whispered, and Steve laughs. “Don’t you remember my initial panic?”
Eddie thinks, back to when Steve had asked him what’s gay versus friendly, becoming increasingly confused when most of the things Eddie ticked off in the gay category were things Steve and Tommy had done that Steve had thought firmly resided in the friendly category. “Oh, yeah.”
Steve snorts, shakes his head, pushes him away. “Go talk to someone else. Rescue Robin, she looks like she needs it.”
“Nah,” Eddie says, “she can hold her own,” but goes anyways after a quick peck to Steve’s cheek. Steve turns the hearing aid back on.
“Man,” Tommy says wonderingly, “what happened to you?”
“Concussions,” Steve answers flatly. “Three of ‘em. Then I grew up.” He sighs, looks down at his cup, then up at Tommy. “Listen, man, about what we used to do-”
Tommy winces. “I know. I had that revelation a while ago, actually, but it was definitely shitty of me.”
Steve smiles, shrugs. “You had a crush on me. It’s not an excuse, but it does make a certain kind of sense you’d react that way, especially considering the kind of home life you had.” He smiles self-deprecatingly. “Feel free to stop listening if the therapist side of me comes out. I swear I’m not trying to, like, diagnose you with anything.”
Tommy’s brows raise. “You’re a therapist?”
Steve hums affirmatively. “Started as a school counselor, if you can believe that.”
Tommy fixes him with a wondering grin. “Y’know? I think I can see it.”
“Do my eyes deceive me,” someone says from their side, draping their arms across Steve and Tommy’s shoulders, pulling them into a hug.
Steve comes face-to-face with Carol. He grins. “Hey, Carol.”
“Hey, you,” she says, raking her eyes over him. “Time’s been good to you.”
“You’re one to talk,” Steve says happily, but its true; she doesn’t look a day over forty, instead of the fifty-odd she is now. “How are you?”
“Can’t complain,” she agrees.
They go through the same song-and-dance, but this time when she asks who he’s married to, he sees Eddie juggling water bottles, talking to a couple of people. “Oh, for-” he mutters, then louder, “Eddie, what in the everloving fuck are you doing?”
Eddie drops a bottle, puts the other two on the table behind him, and jogs over to throw his weight onto Steve. “Making friends.”
Steve snorts, elbows him off. “Say hi to Carol, babe.”
Carol clocks it immediately, based on the twitch of her eyebrow, but only says, “I didn’t peg you two as a couple.”
“Well, yeah,” Eddie snorts, “it was Bumfuck, Indiana in the 80’s.”
Carol tilts her head in agreement, then turns to Tommy and says coolly, “Tommy.”
“Carol,” he replies, tips of his ears red.
Eddie looks between them, then turns a raised eyebrow on Steve, who quickly signs, “Married for two years a while ago. I don’t know any details.”
“He clearly is still into her.”
“I refuse to be a part of whatever you’re planning.”
Eddie pouts. “You’re no fun.”
Carol clears her throat. “Sign language?”
Steve snorts. “Turns out brains aren’t supposed to get banged around. You’ve got a real good chance of messing something up that way.”
Eddie pokes his cheek. “‘S not your fault.”
“Never said it was,” Steve placates.
Carol shakes her head. “How many concussions do you have?”
Steve hums. “Three? Four?”
“Three,” Eddie corrects. “Not that we need to get into it right now.” He gives Carol a tight smile, and Steve hip-checks him.
“Down, boy,” he murmurs with a smile. “I’m alright.” He turns to Carol with a wider smile. “Long story short, the concussions caused irreparable hearing loss. I’m almost completely deaf in my left ear, but I get by.”
“Damn,” Carol says lightly, “life, huh?”
Steve snorts. “You can say that again.” He tilts his head. “How are you?” He asks. “Really?”
She gives him a crooked smile. “Let’s walk and talk.” Steve offers her his arm, which she takes with a laugh.
“How am I,” she muses. “Well I thought I found love, but we imploded two years later. Thank god for prenups, I guess, but at the same time, that made it feel like we were doomed from the start.”
Steve hums. “Eddie and I have been legally married for three years,” he tells her. “Together for thirty-seven. We’ve got prenups. Not because we think we won’t work, but because we want the people we care about to not have to worry about any of that.” He’s silent for a few steps. “I used to think love is out of our control. That we don’t get to decide who we fall for. And maybe, to a certain extent, that’s true. But love is also a choice you make every day. Eddie and I are still in love because we choose to be.”
“You look at each other like you’re on your honeymoon.”
Steve giggles. “And to think we didn’t even have a honeymoon!”
Carol laughs, too, then sobers. “You always were more fortunate in love,” she says. “What do you think? Do we have a chance?”
Steve hums. “I think it’s obvious, just by looking at him, that he’s still into you.”
“No shit.”
“So what’s important is how you feel. Marriage is work, I’m not gonna lie and say it’s not. So are you ready, and I mean really ready, to work for it?”
She works her lower lip. “I think so,” she admits. “But I- I’m also not completely sure I’m straight.”
“Okay,” Steve shrugs. “Do you know what he and I used to get up to?” He shrugs at her look. “I’m just saying, neither is he.”
“I mean, I definitely still like guys.”
“Well duh, you’ve taken more dick than I have and I’m married to a man.”
She snorts. “But women…”
“I know,” Steve says sympathetically. “It’s hard, isn’t it.” He pats her hand. “If you’re ready to try, though, you need to talk to him.” He turns her around, gestures toward Tommy, who quickly looks away, cheeks burning. They both laugh softly.
Carol leans up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Steve. Let’s keep in touch.”
“Let’s actually keep in touch,” he agrees, handing her his phone. “Where do you live?”
“Columbus for now, but he’s in Dayton.”
Steve hums. “We’re in Detroit.”
“We’ll do phone calls,” Carol decides, laughing.
Steve chuckles, saves her number. “Plan to meet up-”
“Never actually do-”
“Oh, Carol, it’s been so long-”
They both break off into giggles. “You’re fun,” she decides. “I wish we’d kept in touch.”
“To be fair, we competed for title of bitchiest.”
“To be fair, I don’t think we ever grew out of that,” Carol retorted, and Steve snorts, gently shoving her.
“Alright, go get your man, and send mine over here.”
She gently steps on his shoe as she leaves, impish smile in place, and Steve turns only to run into Nancy and Robin. “Hey, guys,” he smiles.
Nancy gives him a look. “Making nice with Carol?”
Steve shrugs, grins at her. “Turns out we were just kids. Who knew, right?”
Just then, Eddie comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder. “What’re we talking about?”
Nancy smiles at him, wraps an arm around Robin’s waist. “Being kids.”
“That so?” He presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek, pushes back to look at him. “You look lighter.”
Steve hums. “‘S cause I love you.”
“Charmer,” Eddie mutters, turning bright red. “C’mon, seriously.”
“Seriously,” Steve agrees. “I was talking with Carol about her and Tommy, and I told her that why we work is because we work at it.”
“Very true.”
From behind them, someone cautiously asks, “Eddie Munson?”
They both turn, and suddenly Eddie’s scooping her up in a hug. “Ronnie! What the hell are you doin’ here, huh?”
She laughs and hugs him back just as hard. “Did you ever know a Jackson Starnes?”
Eddie’s brow furrows for a second, then smooths out. “Oh, Jackie! Yeah, he was cool.”
“Mhm. He’s my husband.”
“No shit? I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” she laughs, then nods at everyone else. “Who’s the hunk you were hangin’ off of?”
Eddie chuckles. “Ronnie, meet my husband, Steve.”
She turns an eyebrow on him. “You got married?”
“He proposed,” Steve corrects her, grinning.
“To the preppiest of jocks,” Robin adds.
Eddie laughs. “What can I say? It’s love.” He swoons, placing a hand over his chest, almost pulling Ronnie over with the arm still over her shoulder.
She laughs and dumps him off of her. Steve swoops in before he can fall, hoisting him up with a quick kiss.
“I’m Nancy,” she says, extending her hand to Ronnie. “And this is my wife Robin.”
“Oh!” Eddie says, literally jumping back into the conversation. “Robin and Steve are like how we were.”
“Platonic soulmates,” Steve agrees.
“With a capital P,” Robin emphasizes.
“It’s nice to meet you all,” Ronnie says.
“How’s Wayne?” She asks Eddie.
“Dead.” He snickers at her face. “‘S alright, Ronnie. It’s been years.”
“Still. I can be sorry.”
“You can,” he agrees. “It won’t help anything, but you can.” He digs his phone out of his pockets, opens his contacts app. “Here, lemme get your number, yeah?”
“Fuck yeah,” Ronnie says, “let’s hang out, just lemme know when so I can get a sitter.”
Eddie chokes on nothing. “You have a kid?”
Ronnie grins, a shit-eating thing as she hands his phone back. “Three.”
“Goddamn,” he says, “you got pictures?”
Ronnie rolls her eyes, grabs her phone. “What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t? Here, this is Cassie, Alex, and… that’s Elijah.”
“Oh, man, Alex looks just like Jackie, doesn’t he?”
“I carry him for nine months,” Ronnie bitches good-naturedly. “‘Nough about me, though, how’re you? Corroded Coffin ever take off?”
Eddie snorts. “You hear about the psychopath in ‘86?”
“I remember something about it.”
“Yeah. I got caught in the crossfires, wrongfully blamed, and spent…” he looks at Steve. “A year?”
“Almost.”
He turns back to Ronnie. “Almost a year hiding out. Corroded Coffin was officially disbanded after I was allowed out of hiding.”
“Fuck,” Ronnie says, “there goes my entire foot in my mouth, I guess. What’re you doing now, then?”
He chuckles. “A little bit of everything, honestly. A little music, a little writing, a little D&D. Nothing that’s made me a household name, but enough that I’m kept busy and we’re comfortable.”
Ronnie nods. “And how about you?” She asks Steve.
“Oh, nothing as fun as that,” Steve chuckles. “I’m a therapist.”
Ronnie tilts her head. “Any specialties?”
“C-PTSD, mainly.”
“Damn, I know about eight people who could use someone like you.”
Steve snorts. “That’s usually the way it goes, yeah.”
“Well it was great seeing you, Eddie,” Ronnie says. “And meeting all the rest of you. But I’ve got to find my husband and get back home, so we’ll have to continue this later.”
“Of course,” Steve says. “See you later?”
“Absolutely,” Ronnie nods, then turns and walks off.
They decide to leave not too much later. They’re all tired, so the drive to the hotel is filled with only the sound of the radio, turned almost all the way down.
“Y’know,” Eddie murmurs, tracing the ring on Steve’s finger, “she was my first kiss.”
Steve snorts, an explosive thing that he definitely learned from Robin. “She what?”
“Yup,” Eddie nods. “I knew I liked girls, but she’s the only one I got close enough to to actually know. We got stupid one night and decided to kiss and it basically went how it would if you and Robin were to kiss.”
“Ew,” Steve says on reflex. Eddie snorts.
Robin slaps at him from her seat, then yells when he slaps back, “Don’t distract the driver!”
“Bitch,” he tells her, “you slapped first!”
“You said ew about kissing me!”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Hell no!”
“That’s why I said it!”
Eddie leans up to murmur to Nancy, “should we break it up?”
“Eh, give it a minute. Once they resort to cursing their lineages we can break it up.”
He chuckles. “Always the wise one, Wheeler.”
“You’d best believe it,” she nods smugly.
“Nancy!” Robin says. “Baby! Defend me!”
“About kissing Steve? Who I’ve kissed before?”
“Oh, no,” Robin says, horrified. “I’m stuck in the car with the two people who are experts on Steve kissing.”
“Why’d you make it sound like a bad thing?” Steve demands.
And… yeah. Eddie’s glad they got separate hotel rooms.
Based on the look Nancy throws his way when they part, she’s glad, too.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#fuck what’s the Robin x Nancy ship name#Buckler????#Fuckin nanbin?????#I’m going insane I think#I legitimately cannot remember someone help I’m begging#tommy hagan#carol perkins#ronnie#does she have a last name? Idk#Someone help me with that too please#I think her name is actually Veronica but idc enough about that right now when I can’t remember fuckin roncy or whatever tf it is#RONANCE#fuckin ronance#Goddammit that’s it the 5th is canceled axfually#*actually#high school reunion#tommy had a crush on Steve we all know that right?#And please know Steve isn’t outing Tommy to Carol. She knew. Everyone knew#Also carol’s bi so there’s rhat#starambles#steddieweek2024#steddieweek
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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bunch of fnaf sketches i did instead of sleeping
#someone help me help me omg im being sucked in help me please i beg you#golden freddy#crying child#fnaf cassidy#michael afton#elizabeth afton#fnaf puppet#fnaf#myart
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I’m sure that this is not a hot take and that a lot of people feel the same way but like…
The question “does it have spice?!🌶️🔥” makes me want to jump off a cliff. I’m out here looking for gothic book recommendations on Reddit, tumblr, and goodreads and WHY is this the first question so many people ask 😭
Look, I love erotica as much as the next person but come on. There have got to be other things that matter when recommending books or choosing to pick one up, my GOD.
#am I just old?#like am I being unreasonable?#I don’t want to blame booktok for this but I’m dying over here#and romance and spice are two different things#a lot of these spicy books are just straight up trash but people tout them as amazing romances#like excuse me?#if they’re having nasty sex within 50 pages it’s not romance#it’s not love at first sight either#it’s lust#Christ I just wanted a gothic book for fall and after I’ve been in a reading slump after finishing the shepherd king duology#don’t fucking recommend me haunting Adeline good GOD#anyway#if someone has a solid gothic recommendation pls send it my way#otherwise I’ll be forced to read Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights and I am more of an Austen girlie than a Brontë girlie#sorry grandma pls don’t haunt me from the afterlife for that#booktok cringe#anti booktok#I don’t even know how to tag this bc I’m not even anti booktok#book recommendations#book recs#someone help me#personal#rant#half the time the spice isn’t even good#I get better smut from fanfiction#I need to clarify that I don’t care if you like spicy books#go off girly pop#but I am BEGGING for a modicum of self reflection#spice should not be the only reason you’re reading a book 100% of the time holy fuck
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Please tell me why this scene is hotter than any piece of cinema ever made? I blame @johnwickb1tsch & @sweetwolfcupcake for making me replay this at least ten time in the past half hour.
#Someone fucking help#the way he moves#The way he growls#Kill me im begging#I had to get this out of my brain#I’m going fucking crazy
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Monkey Cooking - [Feat. Uvogin, Nobunaga, Phinks]
so the idea... the 3 boys cook but one can't hear and has loud music on the headphones (uvo), one can't speak (nobu) and one can't see (phinks) and together they have to cook something for the others. I am crying on the floor as i drew this and I can't- it's THE BEST thing I ever drew of them... literally my inspiration came from this btw! so credits out for the boys https://youtu.be/-0RO5tFrJ10?si=0hYvgub4fftbcDjj
like imagine the chaos... phinks being lost the entire time cuz he speaks to the wall- literally. Nobunaga slowly but surely losing all hope for the both. And Uvo just...being loud and talking over Phinks who is trying to communicate somehow with Nobunaga. The others are watching btw. They are dying aswell. Phinks also probably was so close to accidentally stab uvo with a knife he was holding. They also hate each other after this...
#hxh#art#uvogin#nobunaga hazama#phinks#hunter x hunter#phantom troupe#i am literally so sweating while writing these tags cuz i have been laughing for he past half hour...#someone help me pls i can't handle the boys being idiots#togashi i need an ova of this pls i beg u i give u all my money
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#poipole#this doesn't look like a pokémon at all. this looks like some alien from a kids' cartoon that's like. trynna take over the world or smth#once again i know NOTHING about this thing and constantly forget that it exists. fake pokémon fan etc etc#side note: if anyone is looking for a super awesome and talented voice actress to voice in your things… well… heh… me#or if you know anyone who happens to need a voice actress. i would love to Have a job and you all have heard my voice. i can voice good#promise. i'm famous too i have 4500 followers on this blog#genuinely i need a fucking job. help. hire me to voice in your shit i'm begging#i'd been suggested to look for voice acting positions by someone else and i figured this would be the easiest place to go#of all places. just. because there's a lot of you here#so!
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the thing is I have no idea how to put it into words but dally loves about as hard as soda does. just in a very different, very specific kind of way. soda loves everyone at first glance until it’s proven a mistake and dally loves only a few specific people so much it kills him.
#dally winston#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#I’m so fucking tired rn someone explain this for me. it’s in the thing with Sylvia and how he talks to Johnny driving back from dairy queen#it’s in how dally has and would’ve hit ANYONE for talking to him how he did at the drive in but not Johnny. never Johnny#it’s in his delirium after the rumble (how he hits & slumps against the wall begging Johnny not to die)#it’s in calling the gang for help knowing he was going to die anyway because he’d already been shot#but he didn’t want to die alone so he called them so he wouldn’t have to#it’s in how the only thing he does honestly is working with horses.#it’s in ‘you’ll die of pneumonia before the cops ever find you’#i just ugh. the phrase ‘hood with a heart of gold’ embodies him so bad#johnny didn’t have anything but the gang who loved him unconditionally; dally didn’t feel like he had anything but johnny because for him#the gang’s love WAS conditional. or so it seems sometimes. he was an outsider among outsiders and you can tell by the way pony talks#about him in the book. they were all a little scared of him. he wasn’t *quite* the same as the rest. it might be unconditional if it came#down to it but dally hadn’t lived a life where he could risk it.#my post
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"Red Hood!Tim" this and "Red Hood!Tim" that–
WHAT ABOUT COUNCIL OF SPIDERS!TIM, HUH !?!? YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT ?!?!?!? I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM I CAN'T SLEEP !!!
I might not have a solid origin story, but bat-eating and bird-eating spiders are real, he'd totally eat that concept, and there's not enough good evil tims after LoA!Tim and JJ!Tim on here, and he would absolutely devour a spider-themed villain moment >:((
#guys DO YOU SEE THE VISION#someone help me make an origin story for a CoS!Tim i beg#i'm only god with character building moments not full on stories#tim drake#council of spiders
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ok so i’ve reread the last chapter at least 20 times just for the ending LMAOOOO
you’re writing just does something to me. but question:
does omega reader have a stronger instinct or wtv to simon bc he’s purebred??
i feel like i remember one of the earlier chapters mentioning that he is a purebred alpha so is that why everything is a bit more… primal with the two???
idk if that even makes sense but lol
Hehehe I know it was an amazing ending huh 🥵 you'd never believe it came to me right at the last minute lol
And I just said fuck it and went with it 🤷♀️
The quick answer is yes.
Purebreds have stronger instincts across the board, and two together have more of a risk of things getting out of hand since they're perceptive to so much more than just regular alphas and omegas. If we go back to when the reader punched at alpha, it was said she was reacting to Simon's emotions. So she was affected by Simon because she can pick up on those subtle changes like Simon can. That's why Simon can read the reader so well and notices so much about her. I touched on this a bit in chapter 23 and I'll be going more in depth with it in chapter 25, but the reader isn't quite as aware of it as Simon and she's particularly susceptible to losing control because she doesn't even know she can utilize or control those heightened instincts. She never learned how.
So yeah, that's partially why things got so feral and primal between them.
I'll be touching on that more next chapter.
#mmm primal play i love you#i cant help it i am drawn in by the need to just let loose and lose control sometimes#just let me be an animal i beg#i want to bite things but apparently that's socially unacceptable#🙄 fuck society i say#...i may actually be going insane#someone call the men in white coats#answered#crcb spoilers#sm feralcore
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Lord Hermes,
Patron of the commuters, of the bustling city that raised me,
Please help me come into more money.
I’ve been working three jobs and a side hustle but prices are so high. I feel so guilty buying things that make me happy and even things I need to survive.
I want so many things I can’t have: books, new clothes and shoes, a full meal three times a day, money for my metrocard, money for my passport, stability.
I want, I want, I want.
My heart aches with want. My stomach growls with want.
I don’t want to be poor anymore.
Please help me come into more money.
Please help me come into more money.
Please help me come into more money.
#personal#Hermes#Hermes devotion#Hermes devotee#hellenic polytheism#I’m so fucking hungry and feel so guilty abt my spending#we love literally living on the poverty line for most of our lives (sarcasm)#pls let me get a raise or find a bunch of money on the sidewalk or someone helping pay my tuition or I get a scholarship or SOMETHING#PLS#I’m sry. I’m begging. I’m hungry
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When will it be my turn to meet someone that I can be a proper team with and will fuck me silly 😩
#Like I want someone that doesn't treat me like a maid/parent you know?#I don't have to beg them to help me with jobs around the house or just life things#We both work as a team and make each others life easier and help one another equally#Its such a basic thing and just feels what it should be like when you actually care for someone but I haven't found it yet ;-;#Like no resentment gets built and then neither of us is stressed or grump as the other so we can have the best messy hot fucking :3#sooo freaking single because im sike of people taking advatage of my nurturing/kind personality#maybe i want to be the one babied for a change! ever think of that;#;-;
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COD Zombies homies, do we have an active discord where we can talk about the franchise, OCs and other things? I've been bitten by the bug and quite literally none of my friends are as invested as I am. I joined one last year but it was pretty dead so I left. Shit I'll even give you my discord handle if you wanna just talk about Zombies. Help a girl out. I'm tired of infodumping on my friends who don't care.
#call of duty#call of duty zombies#cod zombies#discord#cod zombies discord#edward richtofen#tank dempsey#nikolai belinski#takeo masaki#please i'm begging someone help me#i just wanna talk about how much I love tank#and also want someone to watch me experience BOCW for the first time#ophelia says
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i want that twink obliterated
#genshin impact#charlie's rants#lyney#lyney genshin#if some event or quest doesn’t give me Lyney fucking losing it I don’t want it#do u hear me. I want SOBBING. I want him to BREAK#I want that boy to CRACK#I want his mask to fall I want something to happen thats completely out of his control#I want him to realize his 'fathers' effect on him I want him to stand on a stage and SCREAM. ok#I want him to realize people dont know what he looks like off a stage I want him to realize HE doesn't know what he looks like off a stage#I want him to beg people to just look at him please someone save him someone help get this mask off his face please anyone
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Ok so I just finished Arcane what the fuck guys
#am i okay#someone tell me#what???#I need a 4 hour lore video explaining this#and some hot chocolate#who#what#strangely okay but also not okay#huh???#I’m begging for help rn idk if you can tell#anyways act 2 huh?#but here are the actual tags#victor arcane#powder arcane#vi x caitlyn#vi arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#arcane season 2
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