#but again. maybe i just need to reread these books
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It's so funny how, unprompted, so many posts on my for you tab alternate between text posts saying "Nightheart is the best WC character I love him" and "Nightheart sucks, he's the worst, I want him dead." Idk what I did to make tumblr think Nightheart discourse is my hobby but I do find it a little entertaining.
#I'm nightheart-neutral for the record#i like some things about him but dislike how the narrative and other characters get warped around him to justify his thoughts#if that makes sense#i guess for me he lives in the category of characters with good potential who just don't go anywhere#so for people who love him and hate him i really understand both sides#but for the most part. i just don't care. idk#tbh i haven't been as attached to asc protags as i have for protags from other arcs#if i had to pick a favorite i guess I'd say frostpaw? i enjoy her character development the most (bc she actually has some lol)#but idk if anybody from asc would make it onto my favorites list. maybe that would change if i reread it though#it is strange that I'm not as attached to the characters bc the story itself is really quite good#i have zero thoughts about sunbeam unfortunately#beyond her parental situation being awfully relatable#but again. maybe i just need to reread these books#i probably will in the weeks leading up to star's release just to refresh my memory#pigeon mews#edit: oh god why did i make this post now tumblr is gonna recommend me MORE nightheart discourse lmao#edit 2: i forgot to say! although i don't have any strong feelings about nightheart in particular#i do really enjoy his friendship with frostpaw. it's sweet
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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kaladin stormblessed was raised being told he was lesser and then when he managed to carve his way out of slavery and a system designed to fail him and his eyes changed color the characters and narrative kinda just told him to get over it haha i still think about that a lot
#listen#i love the main cast in stormlight#but sometimes i think about stuff that narratively good lighteyed folks think or say to kaladin/other darkeyed people in the first few book#and i actually want to cry#like yeah he doesn't trust you off the bat??? yeah he's rude and surly???#you are literally a member of the demographic that oppressed him and directly led to the death of his brother and his friends and *sold* hi#maybe i'm just tired and feeling bitter#but honestly i feel like kaladin would have been justified#if not actually correct#if he never trusted a lighteyed person again in literally his whole life#i don't think it would have been *healthy* for him#or actually true (because obviously no group of people is actually a monolith)#but i would understand it#anyway i need to reread the series and books 4 and 5 cause i still have somehow not gotten to it#also the whole “kaladin being rude” sometimes thing read a couple different ways to me if I'm remembering right#cause yeah he's depressed and emotionally constipated and traumatized#but it also always struck me as doing it to prove that he could#and to test the boundaries of the lighteyes around him so that he would know how much danger he was in around them#anyway#tw racism#basically
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i've come to accept that i'm bad at writing romance, but at least i'm not as bad as the source material
#i hope anyways#most of the time ginny seems to have the same amount of presence as the twins#i checked and she has less even in 5th where she is mentioned more#its hard to tell how many times draco shows up because hes usually referred by last name#and his parents are also referred to by last name#seems to be less but then again he isnt living with harry so...#yknow i want to do ginny justice#just mentioning her doing things in the background isnt exactly going to cut it to make a convincing relationship#almost all those times she isnt even interacting specifically with harry or isnt alone in it#and her trauma from being possessed is hardly mentioned or dealt with until it is needed THREE BOOKS LATER to#tell harry to get over himself essentially#and then the jealousy....#my biggest gripe is the amortentia thing#like wow the thing that says they are in love must mean they are in love!#i think ginny and harry could work but it isnt fleshed out enough#and theres just that little bit of depth lacking which had brought the trio together#sure she fought in the final battle sorta and in the DoM but so did neville and luna#and genuinely neville could be a better love interest than her just bcuz of the prophecy thing plus he also#killed a horcrux which makes him ten times more plot relevant alone#ginny's role is a victim a sexy lamp and a support on the same level as literally half the others#i want to do her justice though considering how im changing the plot im not sure if i can#maybe the hat will say some things to her soon#hmmmm....#i have to reread the books at some point
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am soooo close to being able to start reading my books chronologically as i have them on my shelf which ik is gonna take forever especially bc it’s not like I’m ever only reading books i own but anyway I’m just really hoping for some things to crap out bc right now between books and dvds it���s more than I’d like
#movies aren’t so bad but tv shows take up so much#and i had thought i would end up getting rid of charmed but really it’s just like gg where only the last season really sucks#with books I’ve read almost everything at least once but i figure some will turn out to be shit on rereading#can’t lie idc about a lot of classics I have my few austens that i know i love but#sometimes they’re just so draining i know you’re not supposed to think so or whatever but i hate the complicated language#but yeah it’s easier to know with a book that i never need to read it again whereas movies it’s like#well i should probably keep that even if it’s not an absolute favorite#could maybe stand to get rid of some lesser rom coms though bc my god the misogyny is exhausting#sometimes the fun bits don’t quite outweigh that for me
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The 9th Michael Vey book is coming out in a week so I am once again apologizing in advance for the person I will become
#except not really bc I’m probably one of the last souls still reading#maybe I’ll make art again#it’s been over two years since I made a Michael illustration. I’m due for another one#I have unfortunately passed through all 5 stages of grief last book and have finally accepted that there’s basically no more ts rep anymore#I think I counted one 1 hand every time michael mentioned his tics last book and Im mentally prepping myself this time around#it’s ok tho I’m here for the characters at this point#speaking of characters#holding Richard at knife point#I swear to god if anything happens to Jack#that man’s not a traitor there’s smthn else going on. I just need my man alive sir#anyway#counting down the days#I gotta reread book 8#(and count again and see if my math was right)
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similar to the greentext stuff - i was visiting with my neighbors and their grandkids were around, and I said to this eight year old, "Hey, you wanna know something cool? I was playing the game when the Endermen came out." and his eyes went wide, like this kid looked like i told him i landed on the moon. His grandma thought it was really funny, and she said she has no idea what i'm talking about, but her grandbabies do, and that's incredible to her.
oh that's fun lmao, when minecraft & that update's existed for more than your whole life, and yknow being that young and like Next Year fr is this huge time scale away, a couple of years is a quarter of your life thus far and like maybe nigh half of the part of your life you actually have longterm memories for....i was checking out this dev's blog's archives about a:tdd's release in 2010 & in one entry they compared the implicitly Roughly concurrent release of Minecraft and i was like hey whoah. forever primarily being a game i've Heard Of more than any more direct exposure so i had no precise sense of [before minecraft release] [after minecraft release] Year 0 there but it's like for sure back in thee day when minecraft was a new thing, huh
#add in that [i also basically Heard Of mass effect but that's a game series w/a 2010 median which i had Any knowledge abt already]#so i have that reference point for a still like [niche video for When You've Played These Games For Sure] there but then like#if you were ten or even 5 yrs younger at the time you May Well Be much more at sea as your starting point there#(but i mean not that much; i didn't know a ton. reread those wikipedia plot summaries myself)#enderman came out? happy pride#shoutout to this one time i crossed paths w/this kid who was at the time probably like late middle school early high school age#who started talking abt pokemon like Clearly A Big Interest and i'm like my only Direct experience is playing pokemon go but i know Some#stuff b/c i was 5 in '99 when it was first making that huge splash lol. can make Some remarks....but also just Listening Attentively To You#Monologue like uh huh go off....i sure remember like the Sense of a couple yr's sagacity like being 9 i think reading a book abt 6th or 7th#graders (i.e. two or three yrs older) like My God They Must Be So Mature....#and like ofc when skimming passages as an adult it's like omg l'enfants. Both Perspectives Being Accurate respectively lol#my vintage experiences like i've def saved things on the floppy discs of [save icons imagery]. have heard the dialup tones organically....#but also; say; Home Computers That You Didn't Really Need To Know Much Abt Computers To Use were forever an everyday thing for me#having been born mid '90s....vs like in the '80s being nicher but also like. the programs to amateur code not being As Complex either#like [working on cars] of yore vs more modernly lmao....plus ofc in their designs; opening up a desktop Tower vs what? a tablet??#ppl my age who had more substantial Online Access earlier than i did maybe having at least picked up some html; which i did not lol#also didn't have too much Gamer Experience ever; what i did largely desktop then laptop pc wasd+mouse style....#didn't have a smartphone till maybe 5 yrs after they were starting to become more commonplace#vs that again to an 8 yr old of today [commonplacer smartphones] is your whole life basically too. i remember when we flipped those phones.#(i do fr lol. did have one of those first for a good while.)#granpa granpa....mh being fourteen yrs old meaning like the Teen Fans of Today were probably not watching it as it aired lol#whereas i Was that teen fan of those yesteryears. and all my stories for it like fuckin uhhhhhh [crickets chirping] [studio audience laugh]#though You Don't Need The Fans like mh is a long movie ppl can newly discover Whenever that holds up; plus it has bonus lore#mostly what i could even Possibly bring is just the particularly nicher older bonus lore. but like grandpa simpson (the simpsons) for sure#which is to say: humorously irrelevant & perhaps somewhat cantankerous#whilest i'm vaguely aware there may have also been that minecraft resurgence (esp through streaming?) from 2020 on....#but evidently Like Mh something that continually revives / takes on New Fans / Participants#for sure i might well be playing some tf2 myself if i had the technical capability (i would have the poor personal ability i always did lol#real games of yore but it never gets old also. though i know Of Late there was a bot problem / just neglected maintenance? that get fixed?#These Have Been The Tag Tangents. maxed out thirty tags i know that's right
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It's been so long since I've read anything kingkiller chronicles related but the narrow road between desires was so unexpectedly emotional and sweet
#bast being so gentle with children is killing me#when he hugs rike............oh my fucking god.....#and the way he (in his severe ''we have just performed extremely powerful fae magic'' way) like#methodically and intensely tells rike that under no circumstances is he a bad person#silly and selfish bast looking an abused child in the eye and telling them they are not irredeemable because they've done bad things#ugh. ugh!!!!!#i don't have the time or energy to reread the kingkiller chronicles but i think i need to MAKE time lmao#the first (and last) lines of the first chapters are like. tattooed in my brain#gritting my teeth i have so many books to read i CANNOT read TWO 500 PAGE NOVELS RN#I HAVE SO MANY LIBRARY BOOKS#thank u rothfuss. writing IS hard#was neil gaiman the one who said ''the words will come back to you eventually'' or something like that#pressure and expectations can kill the love of something very quickly#and frankly i dipped my toes into the kingkiller fandom once and was really weirded out by just how many people acted like they were OWED#book 3#anyway: bast and his bisexual arrangements with emberlee and dax and kholi are so funny to me#im not 100% sure what was being implied but the possibility of it being a four way friends with benefits thing is so silly#also also it is always a treat to read present day kote/kvothe#book 1 kvothe was great but i didn't really like book 2 kvothe#then again its been years since ive read it so maybe i misinterpreted but he felt very arrogant#i think that may have been on purpose?? but idk ill have to reread them sometime#innkeeper kote my beloved#honestly ''innkeeper being a secret badass'' trope in general my beloved. gotta be my favorite type of character
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@lady-merian Sorry for replying in post but....KNOW HIM??!?! YEAH I KNOW HIM!!!!
He is literally one of my favourite authors. The way I SCREAMED when after two or so years of silence we heard from him again (with relief that he was all right).
I strive to match his chaotic writing style, his balance of emotional beats and ridiculous humour, the way he looks at his plot and goes "actually, we need more threads," the way he blends genres of portal and time travel and gaslamp fantasy and westerns and and and.....and also the way he shows his love for literary mythos (he has done his RESEARCH) with not just fairy tales and myths but also childrens lit and gothic fiction (the jekyll and hyde short story!!! the hints of dracula we're going to get in the next crockett and crane book).
Seriously, I love how he will make you cry with laughter and then actually just cry, but also how despite how heavy his books can get plot-wise, there's such a thread of lightness and fun even during the darker moments. Also absolutely obsessed with how all his characters will commit theft, arson, crimes against the time stream continuum and multiverse, and still believe they're the most sane of their group.
Sorry, this got a little rambly but I really love KRS.
#maybe im overhyping the books but i dont think what i said above was exaggeration#but seriously i will never understand how krs manages to just....throw together literally dozens of plot threads#without making us go too crazy? except we absolutely do later on?#krs isn't for everyone obviously but his books do have EVERYTHING from mystery to romance to fractured something to lots of refs#but the thing that i really just most love about his books is how chaotic they are but how....well cared for they seem at the same time#they read like someone hyped on steroids wrote them but there's such careful planning like the combo....#but i dont know its been a while since ive read them and i really do have to reread so i can get at hare and hatter#aaaand rambling in the tags again XDDD#anyway happy to find a fellow krs fan and pardon the lack of replying#as you know i don't do likes/replies cause main blog hiding shenanigans >:)#fandom spamdom#note's nonsense#the afterverse#oh edit! I should mention you dont need to reply to this XD i just latch at anything that lets me ramble about an interest
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THE FUCKING WHIPLASH I GET TO SEE THE BOOK THIEF MENTIONED OUT OF NOWHERE, IN 2023⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ 🫨🫨
How about a kiss, angel?
#maybe it's ingrained in my body mAYBE I'VE BEEN HAUNTED BY THE BOOK'S CONTENT ALL THIS TIME#I just woke up oh my god thank you so so much for the reminder i need to reread the book again someday#IM HAVING FREAKOUT(2) HOW DID U CONNECT THE DOTS#MENTALLY DOING A SOMERSAULT FLIP RN
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So I have my backlog of task already lined up.
But let's say a show I finally checked out trew a wrench on all that and I am picking more fanfics to read, and so many things got a bit all over the place.
It left me in shambles and I am picking so much stuff bc wow the fanworks but yeah. I underestimated the power of that show.
So thing are lining back to normal (my poor fanfic backlog tho... it was already long before that 🫡)
And Twisted Wonderland gave me emotional damage with Book 7 part 5. They are not done with me but boy I am sure I will never get over this mobile game either.
A couple of days have passed and I can say yeah almost back on track.
The little wonders of the detours but I had a good time at the end so that is good.
#random rambles#I kid you not the new brainrot is real but I am taming it. tho it will all be useless next year when there is news of a new season (*‘ω‘ *)#got time before that. now twst my beloved. holy moly my beloved game that keeps me on my toes. book 7 is so good and pain 🥹#i was doing fine but maybe a little detour was good. i got to feel so many things so that is nice.#if I get this thing done and to look good before the next few month pass I'll call it a good job bc I feel I need to restudy Sora. again 🥹#you will see in due time. as for now. I should reread the whole chapters revised and cut just in case there is more changes I should make...#anyways cryptic romy out. should sleep some more before continuing my shenanigans and projects
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so. i understand where the sentiment "listening to an audiobook is the same thing as reading the book" is coming from - i mean, yes, the bottom line is you are taking in the same words in what is possibly a more accessible (or maybe just more enjoyable) format for you! and i'm 100% in agreement that "book snobs" who say "no you didn't really read it" if you listened to the audiobook are full of shit. ofc you should engage with stories in whatever way works for you, there is no moral or intellectual superiority to reading words off a page vs. listening to them
but it also is different? an audiobook is a performance. choices a narrator makes about line readings can drastically influence the meaning of the lines. even just different voices, accents, etc. - there are creative choices being made by the person delivering the words to you, and that affects your experience of the story in a different way than if you were making those choices in your own head. it might even change the way you visualize what's going on!
this isn't a bad thing it's just An Actual Thing & i think it's worth talking about. it rubs me the wrong way when people act like accommodations (and for many people audiobooks are an accommodation) always result in a completely identical experience, or even that they should, & if you suggest that people accessing media in different ways are having different experiences it's somehow ableist
anyway on rare occasions i really enjoy audiobooks but mostly they are much less accessible to me than words on a page (i need to be able to reread, flip back and forth, go at my own pace) & i also just really strongly prefer to encounter a text on my own before hearing someone else's performance of it, if possible! again i don't think it's "better" to read a physical book i just think it is a Distinct form of experiencing a story & acting like the two things are entirely the same is sort of doing a disservice to both
#rambling thoughts#audiobooks#was talking to jey about this the other day & that helped me clarify what i've been musing on#i really truly think people should read in whatever way they can. listening or using an e-reader or holding a physical book#i always always want to hold the book but i don't think i'm fucking superior for it lmao
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One day I'll do my 2019 YJ Cassie analysis
#one day#i have a lot i want to say I'm just incredibly lazy#it's so interesting how bendis interpreted her character tbh#(until she became just another of the side characters in a book full of side characters)#wish her storyline from like issue 2 got picked up down the line by someone like me#that gets her#maybe just me#it would be a hell of an essay when i actually write it tho i just need energy and to reread some of the issues again to get back into it#(not dc in general just the vibes)
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If you buy a lot of books and end up not liking some of them very much, can I suggest checking them out from your library first?
I worked in bookstores for a long time, and of course lots of my paycheck went directly back into the store. I've ended up "weeding" a lot of those books and donating them to different places just because I knew I wasn't ever going to read them again.
Now I'm a librarian, and I'm realizing just how much money I'm saving by checking books out FIRST. Maybe I check something out and I end up DNF'ing it within 50 pages. Maybe I check something out and I enjoy it, but not enough to read it again. Maybe I check something out and I really love it, but it freaked me out so bad it's tattooed on the inside of my eyeballs and I won't need to read it again (Drew Magary's The Hike, I'm looking in your direction).
Or maybe I check something out and I love it! And then I go buy a copy to own because I know I'll reread it, probably with a pen to mark up the margins in a way I know I can't with a library book!
Idk man. If you want to be more intentional with the way you spend your money, if you want to combat the commercialization of the publishing industry, if you hate that authors are being forced to do all their own marketing on TikTok and that readers are feeling shame about not purchasing and finishing literal hundreds of books per year... Maybe start by going to your local library. You can still post haul photos of library books without spending a dime.
#librarians of tumblr#booklr#bookblr#books & libraries#librarians#public libraries#reading#adult literacy#booktok#bookstagram
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Hey, I've got questions about your stance against ai
In writing, ik you are against Ai "writing your fic"
But are there ways ai can be used in writing fics that you are okay with?
Like obviously saying "Hey chatgpt, write a (insert fandom) fic where (insert plot) happens" then just copy pasting it, is wrong
But what about getting ideas from ai? Like prompts, or titles (like i did with 1 fic) or having ai re-write like a sentence to make it sound better or other stuff
tbh i don’t think it’s good to use AI like that for anything related to the creation of art. the brain is a muscle, and in order to hone your skills, you need to step out of your comfort zone. i for one hate titling my fics, but i’d rather struggle & then come to the satisfaction of finding a title on my own than asking a bot to spit a title back at me. plus, i’ve titled over 50+ fics, so that skill is strengthened with repetition.
(plus i’m pretty sure chatgpt is regenerative, meaning that if you send it your fic to give a title to, it can use your work as data to write other people’s fics :/)
prompts are even worse tbh. fandom thrives from conversation. if you’re looking for something to write, explore certain tags and post in them, i promise a real person will have an idea you’re interested in, and maybe you can make a new friend in fandom by talking about that idea together.
also, using AI for rewriting is probably the worst thing you can do. again with strengthening the muscle of your mind and honing the skill. you need to reread your work, reach out to others & maybe get an editor/beta reader. you can and should find writing blogs written by real people, and read books to find writing that intrigues you. that’s crucial to the human experience.
of course, i don’t mean any offense when i say this. i can’t stop you. but i for one would never turn to something non-human to aid in something i consider very human & vulnerable, and i don’t think you should either.
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✧˖*°࿐ Love Letters | d.m
Draco Malfoy x f!reader, fluff
Summary: In which Draco tries to find the girl who sends him love letters, unaware to the fact that it’s you.
W/C: 1.5k
Draco’s fingers traced over the writing on the pink envelope once again. His mind was not able to rest as he tried to piece together who left the note on his bedside in the middle of the night. Delicately opening it once more, he reread the words inside;
Draco,
I hope you can learn to see yourself the way that I see you, with love and acceptance. You are what makes everyday worth it. Constellations are named after you, and each day I can’t help but to be thankful for the sun breathing on you once more. You are my light.
He carefully closed the envelope and placed it inside his bag. ‘They like me.’ the boy thought to himself, ‘someone actually likes me.’
It’s not that the boy was a stranger when it comes to love, but never once has he been perceived as something more than what he truly is. He’s always been Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy throne, son of Lucius, and most importantly a Slytherin. For this reason, he constantly rejected any advances that came from the female students around him. While his rejections came off as rude and cold-hearted, the other students failed to see that Draco, just like everyone else around him, was human too. He was scared of being hurt by the one feeling that he craved the most.
The walk to class was almost unbearable, he couldn’t stop thinking about the letter. He wanted to know the poet behind those beautiful words, the ones that kept repeating over and over in his head as he tried stirring potions or taking notes. You are what makes everyday worth it. He became hyper aware of his surroundings, assuming that he would know when he sees her, but he failed to realize that she was not someone that could be so easily spotted. She came exactly when you needed her to, not by desire alone.
—-
“Draco,” his friend Blaise called to him, “focus.”
“Oh, right.” Draco replied, trying to get his thoughts together as he walked back to his seat. It was the middle of the school week and his mind was only getting more crowded with the thoughts of her. As he sat back down, his friends swarmed him with questions as to what it was that he smelled in his amortentia, assuming that this would be the first step to finding her.
“I can’t describe it.” He sighed, running a hand through his platinum hair in defeat. “She has me going crazy and I don’t even know her.”
“Well,” Pansy spoke up, “I suggest maybe moving on? I mean, if she wants to be anonymous it may be for a reason. Plus, you have hundreds of other girls that would kill to be with you, Draco. Maybe try your luck somewhere else.” She flashed him a sincere smile before going in to hold his hand, but her efforts were cut short as the boy suddenly stood up.
“I don’t want to be with anyone unless it’s her.” He sneered, shaking his head as he turned around and started heading straight to the door. He said a hushed goodbye to his friends before exiting into the crowded hall.
Why couldn’t his friends see that he didn’t want anyone else? He didn’t care about her wealth, status, or looks, all that he wanted was someone that could love him in full. Love him in a way that can’t be tamed, a love that lives long after they do. This was something that he knew he wasn’t going to find any time soon, for as long as he was at Hogwarts he could only be Draco Malfoy.
His hopes were on her.
He walked through the hall, pushing through students that stood in his way as he asserted dominance with a ray of confidence and high ego. Students glared at him but none had the guts to say anything, this fear that Draco instilled was not one that was going to go away any time soon. It was one that he brought upon himself and now had to live with. Somewhere in between his daydreams and the crowded corridor, he felt someone bump into him. Their shoulders collided as his books fell to the floor. The stranger mumbled a quick apology before running off.
In the midst of his anger, he froze. He smelt it. That same scent that clouded him only a few minutes before. There it was, it was her, but just as quickly as he smelled it, she was gone. Only seeing her hair as she turned at the corner of the hallway.
He quickly got up and chased after her, pushing and shoving anyone that got in his way. This was his chance, he was finally going to meet the girl that’s been making him mad, the one that he’s been dreaming of. His heart was pounding as he ran faster and faster down the hall, students staring at him in confusion as he was passing them by, quills and journals flying out of his bag – but he didn't care, he couldn’t let her get away.
Once he turned the corner, he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sensation of defeat. His heart crushed as he stared into the empty hallway.
—-
Two weeks have passed since the day that Draco and her collided. He sat in his bed, holding a brand new letter. The same shade of pink as the one before, with the handwriting that he’s fallen in love with.
“Draco,
I’m sorry for not writing to you. I’ve been thinking of you every day, and I just can’t bear to keep dreaming of you without letting you know that I’m sorry for bumping into you in the hallway. The truth is, I’m scared, Draco.
I’m scared you aren’t going to like me for who I am. I’m scared that writing to you was a mistake. I’m scared that the only way you will ever see me is through these letters. I see you every day, why can’t you see me?
You’re always in my heart, shining above me every night, my constellation. If we remain strangers forever, just know that I’ve never come to love someone like how I love you.”
He was getting restless. Constant possibilities of who it could be running through him, he even considered the possibility that this could be a prank, but no amount of doubt could prevent him from finding her, his hope overpowered all the fear that he had.
Draco sat up once more and started getting ready for dinner. Brushing his hair and straightening out his tie, he needed to look presentable for the off chance that he could be meeting her today.
He headed down into the Great Hall and that’s when he saw it. A pink envelope in the hands of a girl he’s never talked to, but not just any girl, it was you.
He shouted out into the void, but he wasn’t quick enough. “Hey wait!” he called out, as you quickly grabbed your things and ran off once more. He couldn’t see you like this, it wasn’t the right time. Your face flushed red as you ran, your breathing quickening as your legs started to grow tired, but you could not let him find you.
Draco chased after you, he was only a few feet behind but with enough determination you knew you could lose him. As you sprinted through the maze of halls, you started to grow light headed, you knew that if you didn’t stop soon you would faint.
But it’s not the right time
You stopped in front of a random classroom, rushing to open the door before he could catch up to you, but it was too late. He crashed into you, both of you falling to the ground with a loud thump, his hands landing on either sides of you as you laid in between him.
He finally found you.
“Who are you?” He asked, not wasting any more time to get to know the girl who stole his heart. You stared into his eyes, feeling a frog in your throat as you mustered up the courage to finally talk to him.
“M-my name is (Y/N).” You whispered, neither of you breaking eye contact. He smiled, grabbing hold of your hands as he went to pick you both up. You were both nervous, too scared of saying the wrong things, but wanting to say them all regardless.
“(Y/N),” he repeated, looking at you with a face full of love and adoration, “I’m Draco.”
He brushed your hair with his fingers and went to pat the dust off your shoulders. You didn’t know what to say or do, but you didn’t have to.
This was the right time.
“Come along then (Y/N),” Draco smiled, interlocking his hand in yours before leading you back down to the Great Hall, “we have a lot of catching up to do.”
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