#unless I did add it in and I’m just forgetting every instance lol but. p sure I didn’t.

[cerealmonster15]

it also occurred to me like yesterday that in my kali/sil fic I’ve been writing I think I like, focused so hard on figuring out characterization and relationship dynamic accuracy and also just fighting for my life with the plot that I believe I neglected to like. Mention silvers sleepy boy situation like,,, at all. Maybe once offhandedly??? Like I didn’t forget it’s a part of him but I think somehow I just forgot to work it into the fic at all when it’s generally a pretty big part of his character 😭😭😭 like maybe it’s bc we’ve been in book 7 and it hasn’t come up in the dream zone (I forget if he mentioned if he’s just not sleepy boy in the dream realms, probably lol) so maybe that’s why I forgot??? But even then I literally went to some of the vignettes to study how he talks with kalim and the sleepies does come up in those examples….. I feel like it’s just something I was like “yeah yeah that’s a given I need to figure out the rest of him rn tho cuz he’s more than just a sleepy guy” so hard that it slipped my mind completely….. I went too hard in the other direction….

[funkymbtifiction]

I feel like when it comes to MBTI I hear a lot of “that doesn’t mean.” For instance, “I’m an emotional person, but that doesn’t mean I’m a feeler.” Also, “I care aboout what people think about me, but that doesn’t mean I’m Fe.” My question is, among all the things that don’t indicate type, how do you know what things do? Would you mind writing what specific things to look for when it comes to functions and letters? Thanks for reading! :)

Sometimes it does mean. ;)

If you’re very emotional, easily get your feelings hurt, and prioritize your relationships (how to maintain them, develop them, and in preserving them), you should admit you’re a feeler, because thinkers face other problems.

If caring what people think about you actively changes your behavior on a daily basis to the point where it’s all you think about and you groom your behavior to make others like you, you’re very likely not only a Fe, but a high Fe.

Mistypes are common, because people think they’re the exception. “I’m an INTJ, but look how much more polite and nicer I am than other INTJs!” Yes, that’s because you’re a feeler and not an INTJ. The very fact that you are noticing and cringing over their lack-of-Feeling-social-skills proves you’re a feeler, because you are tuning in to the emotional environment and people’s feelings. They are not.

I spent some time early on thinking I was a thinker, because I try not to make emotionally-driven decisions, but I was in denial because my constant focus is always feelings – my own, and other people’s. I even seek entertainment with strong emotional dynamics, and find programs lacking without them. I kept having to make excuses for the type I thought I was, “I’m a ___, but I’m really not as cold as the profiles make them out to be.” Meanwhile, every real ___ was rolling their eyes at the obvious “let’s all play nice” feeler in their midst.

People will bend over backwards to justify their mistype. “Well, I’m an ENFJ, but I don’t identify at all with Ni hunches…” (not an ENFJ) “I’m an ESTJ but I care a lot about people’s feelings and make decisions based on them…” (Uh, no.) Doesn’t mean feelers can’t be rational, or thinkers don’t have feelings, but your primary FOCUS and NATURAL SKILL screams your type.

Behavior doesn’t indicate type.

Motives, focus, attention to, that defines type.

I had a conversation yesterday with my ENTP friend about relationships, in which I mentioned how I am constantly analyzing them, making sure we’re in a good place, and trying to figure out how to improve them.

His response was: “Why?”

Emotional dynamics, to him, are an afterthought.

Because I care. Because relationships are the framework of my world. Because they matter to me. My stoic father has often said, “Relationships seem to cause you the most pain and the most pleasure; you are super intense about them.“

So, what to look for?

Movies and deeper desires.

Sensors find pleasure in the small, everyday things. They are able to live in the present. Most of them have a nagging fear they should think about the future, but when they look ahead, it can be scary for them. Si’s find it safer to stay as they are, because it’s what know best, but also hunger for more (Ne). Se’s want to have their life achieve some greater overall meaning (Ni).

Intuitives have fears about being left on their own to deal with sensory reality, because they are so bad at it. They find it hard to live in the present, because their brain naturally ripples six months, five weeks, ten years ahead. They make the mistake of living things out in their minds and then not doing them, because the object can lose its luster (Ne) or doesn’t fit their vision (Ni). They feel like they MUST move forward, either toward their singular goal (Ni) or just “life in general” (Ne). Their greatest fear is stagnation and sameness.

Thinkers pay more attention to the logic of a situation, and less to the people involved, so many of them have to learn later in life as they mature that people’s feelings should be taken into account into their decisions and not to focus as much on how much ‘smarter’ they are than everyone else, because they’re not hindered by petty feelings; most of them face accusations (from feeler types) of “not taking into account the human element” in their diagnosis and/or conclusions. Their focus is always on impersonal things and interests – science, technology, rational concepts, facts, etc., and they take criticism well because it’s nor personal (unless it attacks how ‘inconsiderate’ or ‘cold’ they are). Te wants immediate success, even if it means sacrificing total understanding; Ti wants to build its own system of logic.

Feelers are constantly focused on emotions and their ripples in the outside world; they make decisions based on how people are going to feel about their choices; they focus on the human element in making decisions, in pursuing ambition, and in how they approach people; they are easily hurt by criticism and personal insults, they cringe a great deal over others’ humiliation, and they want to be stable in their relationships, to have something deep emotionally. They tend to judge others based more on their treatment of others (and whether they can understand their motives) than on their rationality. They are often accused of being too emotional, too sensitive, or not detached enough.

Sometimes, you can get too overwhelmed over-analyzing via vague cognitive function descriptions you forget to look at the big picture. Which type could you identify as, which would require the minimum of “except” language to defend it? Which one broadly fits your strengths and weaknesses the most? What takes the least amount of effort?

I can theorize, extrapolate broader meaning from almost anything ‘on demand,’ but I can’t remember the specifics of a television show I watched yesterday. I care about people’s feelings a LOT (to the point where I feel bad, if I can’t help you figure out your type) but also tend to want to ACT DECISIVELY to end something more than I want to explain it.

When I mistyped as a thinker, I had to add a bunch of provisos about being ‘nice’ (and secretly wonder why I kept getting my feelings hurt and/or was so focused on emotions when everything told me my type didn’t feel that way); when I mistyped as an SFJ, I rushed to add ‘but I have really good Ne’ and then showed it off, but felt displaced / weird when ‘other’ SFJs never wanted to talk about the philosophical things I did. With ENFP, the only thing I have to explain is, “Why do I finish what I start instead of abandoning my projects?”

Hard work and self-discipline. That’s how.

Be honest with yourself. Sometimes, you can do that and find your type; sometimes it takes finding your type, and really studying that type’s strengths and weaknesses, to start seeing it in yourself. Since I learned what inferior Si is actually like, my entire life has begun to make sense. I could never understand how I had such a truly lousy memory for details and almost no memories from my childhood… until I met and talked to a bunch of other ENXPs. None of us has strong childhood memories. We’re all adrift in a vague void. :P

Mistypes is why there’s type confusion; because there’s a ton of mistyped people out there, asserting that they are this type BUT… and muddying the waters. If there weren’t so many ‘exceptions’ you’d see much clearer division between the personality types.

- ENFP Mod

PS: I should add, I’m tactful / careful of what I say / don’t want to hurt the feelings of my Thinker friends... even though consciously, I know it wouldn’t insult them to be blunt. I can’t shut it off, because there’s a feeler inability in my mind to conceive that anyone could NOT be like me, and avoid offense. LOL