#but again this is all just another example of how my mother failed to protect me from my father

[maraeffect]

Hispanic parents will ask "damn is anyone gonna abuse this child?" and then not wait for an answer. holy fuck.

[romchat]

The Double (Ep. 32): You reap what you sow

I'm always riveted when I watch a Shen Yurong scene because not only does Liang Yongqi have electrifying chemistry with the actresses around him but my goodness do I LOVE how the show's visual storytelling reinforces what a pitiful man he is.

Framing, Blocking, Lighting

For example, this episode makes fantastic use of doors and other forms of architectural framing to show Yurong's fundamental flaw: his cowardice.

At the beginning of the episode, we see Fangfei gaze at two doorways, one that could lead to her future (Duke Su) and the other a painful reminder of the trauma Yurong has caused her. It's only when she recalls Duke Su's reassurance ("A'Li, from today onwards, there's no need to be afraid of anyone") that she's able to step forward and face her memories.

But when Yurong enters the hall and offers to open the door for her, suggesting he knows her true identity, Fangfei side-steps him and their blocking slowly changes. Fangfei now faces the light, her back to the door of their past.

They've never been quite aligned as husband and wife, and in this moment the gulf between them is even clearer.

Unlike Fangfei, who fights for survival and will no longer compromise what she believes in, Yurong refuses to see that he has always had a choice to fight for his conscience, regardless of how difficult it might be. His constant need to pass blame instead of choosing the path he knows is right has left him a pitiful shell of the vibrant scholar he once was and so he remains shrouded in the darkness of the hall.

SIDE NOTE #1: I love the parallels between Fangfei's argument with Yurong ("So, in your opinion, the crimes of your mother and sister don't need to be atoned for, while my innocence and grievances don't need to be compensated") and Grandmother Jiang's admonishment of Minister Jiang ("Can you really let this go?...You haven't fulfilled your responsibilities as a father for all these years"). Both are men who have failed their families--my heart broke when Yurong distinguished between Fangfei and his "family"--by choosing who they decide to protect.

Camera Angles

Ok, this scene has GOT to be one of my favorites from the whole show and so much of that is due to the way it plays with camera angles and the visual language of power.

In cinematography, low-angle and high-angle shots are often paired to visually enhance the power imbalance between characters. Low-angle shots make the subject look more powerful and threatening while high-angle shots make the subject look weaker and more vulnerable.

But in this particular scene, that visual relationship is subverted.

The scene starts with Yurong taunting Princess Wanning.

He is at such a low point after being accused of assaulting Fangfei that he embraces the idea of banishment or death. He is shot at a high angle with the Princess looming over him as usual but it's clear that at this moment he has reclaimed some power now that his all-consuming despair has liberated him from his fear.

When she tries to attack him, he pushes her back and then gets up to bow mockingly. It is he who is now shot from a low angle, signifying his dominance.

But then Princess Wanning seductively leans back in the straw. As they trade barbs, she is shot from a high angle but it's clear there has been another shift in power:

Yurong: Your highness, you don't have to save me. You've fooled me for so long, I'm sure you're bored of it. Princess Wanning: I'm not bored. Shen Yurong, in this world, I'm the only one who can decide how you die. Your life is in my hands.

As noted by @dangermousie, Yurong's lack of self-interest just "makes her more interested again, because someone broken is not her thing but someone who she can potentially break more?" And we can see the fear creep over his face again once he realizes that.

Regardless of the temporary relief he might have felt challenging her, it was all an illusion, as demonstrated by the constantly shifting meaning of the scene's camera angles to maintain her power within the scene. He is completely trapped now.

SIDE NOTE #2: The fact that Princess Wanning always finds a way to make a crop out of anything even a piece of straw and bring a man to his knees (literally or metaphorically) cracks me up.

SIDE NOTE #3: This moment? Hot. Am eagerly waiting for the fanfic.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hi there! I wasn’t one of the people to suggest Timerra, but seeing her again reminded me of her really good English VA Dani Chambers, and so I wanted to share another of the Black characters she played that I really love: Molly Blyndeff, the main character from Epithet Erased!

(Her sister Lorelai is actually my favourite in this series, but because I got to be reminded of Dani Chambers today, I’m making this a two-in-one submission!)

Molly’s family owns a toy store, but ever since her mom died the rest of the family has essentially left her fully in charge of the store, their taxes, cooking, cleaning, etc. She’s heavily overworked and is constantly being forced to be the adult in situations even though she is only 12-years-old. She is heavily neglected by her family and has a hard time telling people “no”. Every adult in her life has failed her on some level to the point she doesn’t even understand how much they were actually supposed to protect her. As a result, she has a very cynical outlook on life. She’s very loyal and protective of her friends to the point that she cares more about them than she cares about herself.

I really love how much the story doesn’t glorify her sacrifices and goes to show just how much stress it’s giving her, leading her to not having a social life at all, but also needing to essentially be the matriarch and breadwinner to a family of overgrown children. This girl deserves the earth, the moon, the stars as well as the nuclear launch codes. She deserves so much more than what life has given her and the series goes on to show her develop self-worth, but also allow her the chance to be a kid again (don’t want to give anything more than that away, cause spoilers).

Now onto Lorelai:

Lorelai Blyndeff is Molly’s teenage sister, who foists all of her responsibilities onto Molly, not realizing how much it’s straining their relationship. She takes up the villain role in the sequel book.

The characters in this series have powers based on a word that is inscribed onto their souls. Molly’s is “dumb”, which allows her to simplify and nullify other things, which essentially gives her the ability to cancel out other people’s powers. Lorelai’s, however, is “amplify”, which lets her create these dream bubbles that she can slip into in order to live out her fantasies. Since their powers essentially cancel each other out, it regularly becomes Molly’s responsibility to make her sister leave these dream worlds in order to do the most basic of chores, often leading to Molly having to do them anyway.

Since her mother died, she has spent almost all of her time in dream bubbles, playing pretend and having whatever she wants magically appear without any need to work. She also uses them to play the main character in adventures where she gets to defeat the fire-breathing dragon, something I think is a very good demonstration of her trying to find some kind of catharsis by trying to win against what killed her mom (Fire. She died in a fire. There was no dragon).

She’s bratty, incapable of accepting imperfection, and has spent so much time in a world where she gets everything that she wants, that she no longer understands the point of responsibilities nor how much she’s forcing her sister to bear.

One of the reasons I love her so much is that I find her to be an excellent example of a character who uses escapism to get through her day. Her grief leading her to run away from all her problems leads her to being very antagonistic to her little sister, accusing Molly of abandoning her because she’s so busy doing all the work and can no longer have fun indulging in make-believe.

Also! I think she has really cute outfits in the book and I wanted to share them:

Here’s her as a witch of the forest

And here’s her as a cute bunny knight waiting to slay a dragon

I love that the series doesn’t shy away from making her antagonistic towards Molly, but also makes her sympathetic in showing how much her playtime is how she tries to avoid thinking about her grief. She’s very much a teenager and even though she’s avoiding the responsibilities foisted upon her and Molly, I feel the story makes it clear that those responsibilities are ultimately their father’s, who is too self-absorbed to act as the adult in any situation.

Another element I really like that I don’t think is talked about enough is how a big reason she doesn’t realize that their home life is neglectful is because the father praises her quite a bit for her creativity and uses her dream worlds for inspiration for new toys. She’s essentially being used as free creative labour without realizing it and the father is giving her unlimited freedom so he has something for his other daughter to sell. (This post isn’t about him though, so back to Lorelai).

She’s dorky, she loves bright colours and her dream worlds are very creative and fun, often reminding me of classic kid’s adventure films (they also remind me a lot of classic save-the-world-with-the-power-of-friendship rpg’s, which leads me to relating to her a lot). She’s boy-crazy in a way that feels like she’s never spoken to a human being before (same, girl, same) and a lot of her story in the novel is trying to impress a boy she just met with a baking competition and the judges trying to make her learn responsibility and how to accept failure. She’s the kind of girl that would marry Shadow The Hedgehog unironically, and I’d be there for the wedding. She’s a very fun character to read, as well as very well acted in the audiobook. She’s the kind of villain you love to hate, but also feel bad for her long before things hit the fan. I’m really hoping we see more of her in future instalments!

Anyway, now that I’ve concluded my rant, I hope you have a great day!

Well hell, you said everything I'd have said! That is deep fr, Lorelai using her dream bubbles as a negative way to cope with her grief via avoidance, and how that poorly affects her and her relationships. Especially with her younger sister Molly who needs her, and is instead forced to carry that weight. Ooooh I love the premise. Tragic siblings is one of those themes that I love and that always break me, because it's like.... You love them and you hate them. You love them because that's your blood and you know what y'all's relationship promised, and you hate them because you feel like they're throwing it away. But you can't bring yourself to fully hate them because... that's your sibling. And how far can it go to break 😭😭😤

And yes, the art style is cute. I know a Dani Chambers lol.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Writing Redemption in Your Fanfics

If you’ve followed either of my blogs, you’d know that I despise Katsuki’s “redemption story”. It’s poorly written and poorly paced.

Sadly, canon isn’t the only place where an attempt at a redemption story is botched. Fanfiction sometimes has equally worse takes on how his redemption story should go.

I wanna talk about one fic in particular. I’m not going to name it, but y’all can probably guess what fanfic I’m talking about because it’s a very famous one.

The fic has one of the most promising starts to a “Katsuki faces consequences” fic: Izuku decides to abandon Katsuki during the Final Exam, and after his teachers show disappointment in him, he snaps, tells them how they’ve failed him, and calls Katsuki a villain. Izuku mentions how he wants to leave U.A, Nezu asks for a second chance, and Izuku accepts.

Sadly, the ball’s immediately dropped upon reaching the second chapter. Katsuki received no consequences other than counseling (which again isn’t a consequence) and without any buildup they have him apologize to Izuku. Furthermore, they start shifting the blame away from Katsuki to his mother for “abusing him”. This I’m shaky about. On one hand, exploring why someone is the way they are can make for some great character writing. On the other hand, the way it’s done here is that it completely changes one character to make the other look better. I’m all for changing a character’s backstory but these fics try to be character studies and when you’re doing a character study you can’t suddenly change one character to make another look sympathetic. Finally, the fic villainizes any character who doesn’t immediately forgive Katsuki. The main example here is Ochako who refuses to let Katsuki anywhere near Izuku. This right here bothers me. Just because Katsuki’s reforming doesn’t mean anyone’s obligated to give him a chance, especially when they’re an abuser of Katsuki’s caliber. You can recognize someone is changing/has changed while also not forgiving them. Demonizing Ochako for not forgiving Katsuki and for protecting her friend sends a terrible message to readers. No one is obligated to forgive Katsuki.

Now I wanna turn my attention to a fic called Confession by Scandinavian Sensation over on Fanfiction.net. If there’s any fic that shows a good Katsuki redemption it’s this one. It starts off with some of 1-A witnessing Izuku having nightmares during a sleepover. Soon after, due to Izuku mumbling in his sleep, they learn Katsuki bullied Izuku. The consequences are swift with the entire class shunning him. Katsuki’s forced to go to counseling, but it’s not treated as a punishment. It is a requirement for him to stay in the Hero Course, but a requirement is different than a punishment. Izuku’s confused as to why no one’s hanging out with Katsuki and feels bad about it. He tries getting Ejiro to go back to being Katsuki’s friend, but Ejiro hits him with a fantastic question: “why did he do it?” As this is going on, Katsuki’s being forced to confront his ego, temper, and past actions while also asking himself the question “why did he do it?” The fic ends with a beautiful rewrite of Kacchan vs Deku 2, where Katsuki desperately tries grappling with the question, is consumed by guilt, and tries to apologize to Izuku. Unlike the first fic, this one doesn’t involve demonizing other characters to make Katsuki look sympathetic, especially since it treats 1-A shunning Katsuki as something they’re allowed to do. This fic dishes out great consequences for his behavior and treats therapy as a means of him coming to terms with his own actions. Finally, it deconstructs Katsuki’s and Izuku’s characters while offering comfort to Izuku and opening the way to a possible redemption arc for Katsuki that feels organic and earned. It’s a fic I can honestly say that both Katsuki fans and haters can enjoy and it’s imo the best case study of Katsuki out that that maintains a neutral tone. If you wanna read the fic, here it is:

In conclusion, if you’re going to write a Katsuki redemption arc, you have to have consequences, you can’t demonize other characters to make him look better (especially when they don’t wanna give him a second chance), and you can’t make excuses for Katsuki’s behavior.

[ipsen]

Eto Character Analysis

Big long post coming. Couldn’t help myself.

Admittedly, I’m mostly stealing from this post from the old ages (it’s crazy good and turned Eto into my favorite character), so you can read that and honestly get the same information. But I figured I’d take a swing at the behemoth myself.

Also wanna preface the analysis with the fact that I’m using the official translations as my source, as I can’t access the original scans and also couldn’t read them even if I did (cursed by monolingual tendencies).

Under the cut!

Eto is, unfortunately, a character that is built mainly on subtext crammed into very few chapters. Figuring her out is very difficult and a lot of her more nuanced traits can go over most people’s heads (it’s easy to call her insane, for example, and while she does have a few issues up in the old cranium, i’d hardly call her that).

The most important thing about Eto to keep in mind when discussing her is that she has been failed, and as a result of that, she also believes that she has failed those around her.

Her father left her in what is basically a literal shithole, especially for a baby. Her mother, though she died without really knowing Eto, did leave a journal behind, and Eto’s singular insight to the work regarding herself is that she is just a “byproduct,” and her foster parent got killed (presumably) protecting her from V, punting her to an orphanage where she’d have to steal money to survive (see: re 62), and presumably pretty often at that.

She got insanely lucky with the writer gig and shiono, who-- side note-- means a lot to her. Finally, a positive adult figure in her life! Unfortunately, he is a) only human, and b) her editor/coworker, so his positive influence, while welcome, is limited. still, she picks up his cute little hand gestures and I, personally, appreciate that (see: re 62 and compare it to TG 114).

Just the greatest.

Where was I... Ah, Eto being failed by those around her. And where does that leave her? Look no further than TG 98:

“A replacement is merely a replacement.” Eto doesn’t believe in found family, because she never actually found one.

And within the context of this chapter, we learn another thing about Eto. Whenever she interacts with someone and “breaks” them (the Yasuhisas, Kanae), she heavily projects onto them (because she recognizes their situation; notice how she only ever targets people who are both relatable to her and weaker than her) and breaks apart the “lie” the target tells themself, even if it isn’t entirely accurate:

(re 43) This is a false statement; Kanae does wish for Shuu to recover, he’s just upset it’s happening like this. Because who wouldn’t be, in his situation? Despite everything that he and the others did for Shuu, the only thing able to bring him out of his depression is the very thing that caused it. But I digress.

Back on track, there’s also Haise’s analysis of her work, the most personal thing she has, to consider when discussing her in re 39:

Once again, the void rears its ugly head.

Hopelessness. Emptiness. Filling it with anger and bitterness, and it’s never enough, but it’s all she has. Because the void can only be filled by the things she can never have.

So she throws herself at the CCG, banging her head against its walls with small raids alongside some fellow ghouls and then taking on the special investigators by herself. She’s 14, she’s a kakuja, and she’s mad. Mad at the world that failed her, mad at V for making it the way it is, and mad that things haven’t changed for a very long time. She has Ukina’s journal; she knows how stale the “narrative” is.

Of course, her raids don’t work very well, but she’s basically just a kid. She is as old as Hinami during TG.

Then, she’s finally thrown a bone, and is worse off for it:

Something I’ve noticed when factoring Arima’s influence into Eto’s character is that there is an assumption that the power dynamic between them is equal. It isn’t. I cannot stress this enough; there is a hierarchy at play here, and Eto isn’t the one on top. How do we know this?

(TG 139)

(re 52)

Kaneki was the new toy to replace Eto, the old one.

The ultimate plan is “the One-Eyed King will destroy the egg of V’s world and make something new.” By the time Kaneki does take the throne, this plan has been going on for 13 years. Kaneki was chosen as a candidate at the ten-year mark; he had to have been a non-factor before then. So who is left to become the king instead?

Eto.

The age difference between her and Arima is roughly 4-5 years. Remind you of another relationship?

(TG 14)

Uh-oh.

To reiterate, Eto is a 14-year old kid who has been abandoned by everyone who could possibly love her the way she wants. She desires parental love, protective love, the kind of love that makes her feel safe, when she has only ever fought to defend herself.

Enter someone who is far stronger than she could ever be, someone who could actually offer her the protection she so desperately wants. Unfortunately, Kishou Arima is the endgame mindset of Black Reaper Kaneki, to put it simply: someone who is impossibly distant, wants to die, and craves the approval of everyone.

Let’s expand on Arima for a brief moment. “Craves the approval of everyone,” specifically. He is both the One-Eyed King and the greatest ghoul investigator that ever lived. He doesn’t pick one or the other, and when he dies, he doesn’t have to pick. He is mourned by the CCG, and Kaneki, ever a puppet in someone else’s game, carries on his legacy and “wish“ for coexistence.

Eto is no exception to his godly levels of charisma. She is one of Hinami’s foils, and we know how quickly and easily she latched onto Kaneki. It’s safe to assume that something similar happened with Eto and Arima.

And Eto failed him. She doesn’t become king; someone else does. Someone very similar. And yet, when faced with this new person:

(re 56)

Well, then.

Eto also does everything in her power to give Kaneki the information he needs to break the eggshell. She freely gives away information about V, the Washuu’s involvement with them, the connection to the CCG, everything. Or as much as she can give him while under Cochlea’s surveillance.

So what’s the game here? Why does she support Kaneki, the one who basically stole Arima's approval, something everyone around him wants, from under her nose? Better yet, why is she aiding the search for her “replacement” in the first place? Because remember, even before Kaneki registered on her radar for a candidate for the OEK, she and Aogiri were searching for Kanou, the one-eyed ghoul maker specialist man. Aogiri wanted to use Kanou to make as many possible candidates beyond just Kaneki. So even without Kaneki in the picture, Eto wants a replacement. She wants this. Why?

Well, here’s what I think she actually wants:

(re 53)

There’s no other explanation that I can think of for why she would willingly get herself arrested and leave Aogiri to be fully exterminated on Rushima (the One-Eyed Owl totally could have turned the tables of that battle). She’s only lived as long as she has because she doesn’t want to leave anything unsaid. This is also the reason why she reveals herself as a ghoul as Takatsuki; she’s effectively destroying her own career while simultaneously giving V a huge middle finger.

This desire to close off everything she’s built up until now and pass the torch to Kaneki is also represented in her haircut; she’s literally shedding her burdens to give to someone else. Someone similar to her, but kinder than her. Better than her.

(re 52)

--

I’ve said what I’ve come to say. Thanks for reading!

[poorks]

Not to toot my own horn or give advice nobody asked for but let's talk about actually building diverse and memorable characters using mine as an example. I have a very big cast of characters on this blog! And I like to think I can maintain that to a degree by making sure everyone brings something unique to the table.

Every single character has a different belly premise, for one. Some work better than others, some characters have failed because the premise wasn't strong enough. But they all have a unique story with unique motives:

Lemon is a surrogate so she can live on the surface

Lorenzo is a surrogate out of rebellion

Claire is a proud expecting mother

Winnie's body was permanently transformed in a life-or-death situation

Takeshi is being punished for some sort of careless wrongdoing

Ife was given magical powers in exchange for carrying the children of a cosmic beast

I could go on! But you get the picture. Another important distinction to make is with characters themselves. No two characters are too similar, giving enough of a distinction that they can be remembered as fully-formed people.

Lorenzo and Takeshi are both slender men with sour dispositions. However, Lorenzo has the confidence of being incredibly young and a genuine love for getting pregnant. Takeshi is much older and more jaded and generally does not enjoy having a belly

Missy and Suyin are both trans women. However, Missy is very stoic and protective and dresses in vibrant colors. Missy is also much more voluptuous and busty. Suyin is sickly thin and pale and dresses almost exclusively in greyscale. Suyin has also never taken any sort of step to medically transition, vs Missy who has to certain degrees.

Claire and Winnie are both short, overweight women with bubbly dispositions. However, Claire is also a business professional and very serious about the domestic life. Winnie is much more reckless and naive.

Again, I could go on. Its not a quick and easy thing to do by any means, but its important to have things that give depth and make characters unique if you're going to have a big cast. Even if it is just a niche, like Lemon being a shark and Zero being an alien. It gets the job done! There does still need to be a little more depth to have an actual character though.

Its also why I tend to really not like crossing over traits. Why involve Lorenzo in magical pregnancy when Sylvain is right there? Why give Suyin huge tits when most of the cast already has that? In my opinion, most of the appeal is how distinct they are. There's someone for everyone, never a one-size-fits-all for porn fodder. If you want more from one character, there's very likely one that can give you what you want if you're willing to branch out and check out the character list. I also can go on another tangent about demanding representation when i have "not enough" of something but that's a separate rant for another day

I'm not even really sure where I was going with this and what my overall point is! But if someone can get some sort of use out of my rambling that'd be neat :)

[saucebou]

One thing I've noticed amongst the Omori cast is that they all have pretty crappy parents

Like I know that parents are brought up in every character analysis but I just want to specifically talk about the main friend group parents.

Now in this aspect Kel and Hero seem to have had the most mercy when it comes to parents, but they aren't exactly saints. It's implied that Hero was pressured by his parents to pursue an education in becoming a doctor and while we don't exactly hear him complain about it and in the end he chose to go into it due to him loosing his passion in cooking because of Mari's death, he still seemed unsure about becoming a doctor in the memory lane scene.

As for Kel's relationship with his parents, it's not really stated outright but it seems implied that his parents were more involved with Hero's life than they we're his. Like they aren't neglectful of him obviously but it's clear that they we're more focused on Hero being the prodigy child. The most obvious example being their parents rushing to comfort Hero over Kel during Hero's emotional burst, but also we don't hear Kel getting any pressure to pursue any kind of education like they did with Hero even though Kel is at the same age as Hero was when they suggested him to go into medical school. However most of this is speculating on y part but still there is evident favoritism within the family.

Both Sunny and Aubrey are in the same boat with both having a dad that left and a mom that's neglectful. But to be fair Sunny's mom does actually care about him, it's just that she doesn't know how to help Sunny. Instead of encouraging him to go outside she just lets him rot in his room for 4 years. As for his father... well we know that he disowned Sunny and left but other that we don't really know why. Its theorized that he know about the Truth and that's the reason why, or maybe he just was more involved in Mari's life rather than Sunny's and he just disowned him out of grief. One of Basil's pictures showing Hero and Mari sleeping together on the couch states that "MARI's dad might be kind of mad if he saw it" showing that he was fairly invested in Mari's life but it could also just be him being a protective dad. Either way he left the family, leaving a son who hides away from society and a mother who doesn't know how to help.

As for Aubrey, well it's pretty explicit what's wrong with her mom. She's completely checked out, not even noticing that you just walked into their home. Speaking of which, their whole home is a wreck and judging by the scene of Aubrey being able to fix Gruff guy's pipe she's also has had to fight for herself without any support from her mother. For her dad, all we know is that he was strict and that he also left but we don't really know why. It is stated by Kel that they've never been to Aubrey's home so maybe her parents had a failing marriage before the events of the game. So perhaps she hung out at her friend's places to escape from the turmoil but that's mainly my theroy.

And last but not least everyone's favorite sad boi Basil. Whose parents couldn't even be fucked enough to be there for him during the game. It is stated that they travel a lot, presumably for business reasons but still it's very clear that he is left with his grandmother and more recently Polly most of the time. @mafu-omo did a really good analysis on Basil in general (which inspired me to go on this rant), including the affect that his lack of parents had on him and I recommend you check it out here if you're more interested beyond just what I've said.

But yeah overall these parents kinda suck. These issues (except for Sunny) don't even happen because of Mari's death, they've just always been and probably would still had happened regardless if Mari had died or not.

Anyway that was my long rant about how another aspect of Omori is soul crushingly depressing. Again I know a lot of these issues are in other character analyses but I just wanted to compile all of the info I gathered. If you want to poke holes or point out things I got wrong or even add your own points feel free to I'm not some master class analyzer, I'm just some guy who wanted to shout into the void about one of my favorite games because hey that's what tumblr is for.

[matan4il]

You have such great insights about Eddie Diaz and his parents! I was watching another show where a man was telling his young son that he needed to be the man of the house while he was away because his mother was struggling with depression. The shows a couple decades old, and the spirit of this interaction was not intended to be toxic and was portrayed as “sweet.” On the same show, one of the female characters was telling her daughter that if something happened to her, she would have to take care of her father. But no child, male or female, should have that idea put in their head, even if it is meant to be symbolic (because let’s face it, a child’s not going to suddenly learn to drive before their time or start paying bills!). Very few, if any, children under 17 have the emotional intelligence or capacity to shoulder an adult’s burden, no matter how “mature” they might seem. I think Ramon’s behavior is indicative of a pattern of parenting that was just sadly common in the 90s, and still might be in some families. But good on him for trying to correct it. It is Helena’s turn right now, I know we’ve had limited screen time of her, but she epitomizes toxic femininity IMHO

Hi Nonnie! Oh, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them SO much! And I’m so happy you like my views on Eddie. They’re just my own, and people like @gatergirl add their own invaluable insights, so I’m really grateful to everyone talking to me about our fave boys! ^u^

I’m wondering whether you wouldn’t mind telling me which show it is? I’m just so curious if I might have come across it. On the one hand, it sounds familiar. On the other hand, you’re right and it was a very common mentality in older TV show, films and books, just this idea that a kid stepping in for an absent parent is a wonderfully mature step. I think the movie Finding Neverland does a decent job at deconstructing that idea and pointing out that the moment a kid actually has to do that, they have something stolen from them for good. A piece of childhood and of innocence that they will never get back, a sense of security, of being protected by their parents, that’s gone forever. And now I’m thinking of little Eddie forced into that position (and in a different way, Buck as well, since without an actual parent, and Maddie only being able to step in to a degree, he also kinda had to become a bit of his own parent) and my heart breaks all over again.

I’ve not heard the term “toxic femininity” before, but I think we can all instinctively get what it means, and I agree with you so much. It would explain so much about Eddie’s mother, for example it would be a part of why she was giving Shannon a hard time, ‘coz Shannon was “failing” her “duties” as a wife and mother in Helena’s eyes. And then without that feminine mother figure there, Helena wouldn’t be able to conceive how her son would be able to raise Christopher on his own, let alone do it well. Which also fits with why in 315, it very much felt like she was the one leading the Diaz parents’ charge on their son and the pressure to hand over Chris. This POV really makes me wanna see some insights and a breakthrough on Helena’s part even more.

Thank you so much for sharing your own thought about Eddie with us, lovely Nonnie! Hope you have a good day! And as always, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[batfamtv]

I was wondering if you can do a request with Finnick Odair and my oc/me (Hannah). You don’t have to use my name, but it’s Hannah if you do. So here’s some backstory. So Hannah’s father is a district 1 victor of the hunger games, her mother is a stylist and her father lived in the capital now due to district 1’s privileges. Hannah was born and raised in the capital, but was taunt by her parents to be anti hunger games, due to her father being in the games and seeingnn the horrors along with being traumatized by seeing them when she was 8. So her and finnick met while her mother was his stylist in the games. They became friends and caught feelings when they were 16. She was one of the only person who knew the truth about his “many lovers” and she was there to help him through it. They started dating when they were 19 and when they were 21, they were able to sneak Hannah back on the train with them into district 4. The capital tried to get her back, but since this was great publicity and stuff, they just left it because it wasn’t as important. Finnick proposed to her in the capital before the 75th games. She was kidnapped and toutured by the capital with Joanna and Peeta before being rescued by Gale and the others she was also tortured with the tracker jacke serum which made her extremely paranoid. So maybe you can do something where Hannah and finnick get reunited in district 13 after she was rescued.

i would pull you from the tide

finnick odair x f!reader

in between the screams and the pain, you see finnick.

you remember the first time you meet him: young, handsome boy with a playful smile. he didn’t like you at first, thinking you were just another spoilt capitolite, but you and your family were kind, making sure he was being cared for while he stayed at the capitol (snow’s orders) for his ‘clients’.

“hi finnick dear,” your mother had introduced you then, “this is my daughter, y/n. she’s your age and wanted to meet you.” finnick had eyed you from top to bottom, but didn’t say anything other than a stiff nod. you had remained there beside your mother, almost feeling hurt for his coldness, if not for the sympathy you felt for him when he emerged out of the arena.

you also remember the first time he had actually let you in: when you came by his capitol apartment to bring him the stew your parents made for dinner, and finnick was there, crying on the floor. you knew what snow was making him do, and your family have been trying hard to make sure the victors are safe and protected here in the capitol, but you can only do so much. finnick had stared at you then, and you expected him to yell at you, to flinch when you came closer, to shove you away when your arms wrapped around him. instead, he held onto you, and cried in your arms. “i hate it here,” he had mumbled against you, “i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!” and there was nothing for you to say but “i’m sorry” and “i’m here finnick, i won’t leave you alone.”

you saw him every year, yet with another set of tributes from his district. but finnick wasn’t cold to you anymore, instead sought you whenever he had free time, because you loved to hear stories about the ocean, and how one time he saw a huge whale breach the surface of the water, and you felt his youth glowing from him, and you had decided then and there that finnick odair deserves to be happy.

“you should come to district four sometimes, y/n,” he had told you enthusiastically, even though you both knew it was forbidden to travel between districts. the wishful thinking was enough though, as you watch him remember the ocean, and you could see the ocean itself in his eyes, “i know you’ll love it!”

nodding, you ran your hands through his hair, almost smelling the saltiness of the sea in him, “yeah,” you had smiled at him, “maybe i will.”

more of those years go by in your mind, but when you open your eyes, you are still somewhat trapped in time. shivering from the cold, sore from all the beatings, you can hear peeta’s cry from a couple of cells down. you also hear johanna’s voice, she’s calling out to you, wondering if you are still alive.

“y/n?” she asks. “are you there?”

“yes,” you croak, the sound gravelly and painful. you struggle to move closer to johanna’s cell and you can almost see her grinning face.

“good,” you hear her say, “finnick would kick my ass so hard if you died.”

absolutely exhausted and pained, you close your eyes, and more memories come.

you don’t remember exactly when your feelings for him changed, but when it did, it hit hard. you remember staring at finnick, and blushing whenever he caught you.

“were you looking at me, y/n?” one eyebrow raised, he tossed another sugar cube up in the air before catching it in his mouth.

blushing red, you shook your head vehemently, “no! why would i do that?”

he shrugged, “well, i am pretty attractive.”

he tossed another sugar cube, but failed to catch it. hearing your laugh, he turned to face you with a dramatic frown. you only shook your head, “sure you are,” before turning away (absolutely hoping he didn’t see your face burn bright red after you jokingly admitted to him that you did, after all, find him attractive).

he would always smile that teasing and boyish smile before sauntering toward you and making you even more flustered. you remember one night when it was really bad for him, limping towards his apartment because he was hurt by one of his clients, and you had fussed over him, worry etched on your face. you remember him crying against you as you held him, and him whispering to you that you kept him sane. you had fallen asleep like that, arms around finnick odair, silently hoping you could do more to protect him from this life. 

finnick odair had loved you then, maybe way before then, but he didn’t tell you yet.

and perhaps, one of the reasons why he was so reluctant to tell you, and everyone else about what he felt, was because he knew the president would set his eyes on you. and finnick didn’t like that.

you remember the smile on finnick’s face, so so bright and beautiful, when he saw you get out of the train in district four. your parents snuck you out of the capitol to surprise him, and he was both worried and exhilarated. you also remember how nice it was in his district, especially that one night when you both walked by the shore at night under the full moon, when he had kissed your lips so softly as though he was scared to break you. you remember the warmth in your chest that exploded throughout your body when you threw your arms around him and kissed him back.

when you open your eyes again, it’s another day. you’re sure that you’re awake for most of the time, when they beat you up and submerge you under the water, but you don’t remember any of it. something in your mind tells you that you may have pushed those memories away, locked them deep down and all you can remember is finnick, finnick, finnick.

one of the worst days of your life was when he was reaped for the quarter quell. your family had been contacted by plutarch heavensbee immediately after, and you remember how plutarch silently apologized to you that finnick got reaped, and you made him promise to get finnick alive.

“katniss everdeen is our priority.”

“then make him second,” you pleaded, tears threatening to leave your eyes, “please.”

plutarch had nodded grimly, and you promised to yourself that you would do anything it takes to keep finnick alive.

the night before the games, he brought you to the rooftop. you were scared, for him, for the rebellion, for everything. you were scared that everything was going to change.

“not all change is bad,” finnick reassured you as he took both of your hands in his. “for example,” he smiled cheekily, biting his lower lip, “when this is over, we can get married.”

“what?” your eyes widened at his statement. he pulled out a ring, something so simple and yet beautiful (and resembled the one you were sure you saw at a shop while in district four).

“when there are no more games,” he smiled as he slid the ring to your ring finger, “when can get married. build a cottage by the sea.”

you admired the ring on your finger, overwhelmed by the proclamation and enticed by the thought of waking up next to finnick odair in your own little seaside cottage. then you threw your arms around him, pressing your lips on his with a smile.

“this is why you need to win,” you whispered against his lips.

finnick nodded, “this is why i need to win.”

the next time you’re conscious, you can hear peeta’s screams again. you’re too tired to move, limbs too sore to use and so you just lay there. as peeta’s screams for katniss faded into the background, you hear finnick’s voice.

finnick screaming your name.

you remember watching him run aimlessly through the forest, the sound of your voice calling him. “y/n! y/n!”

katniss tried to tell him that the voices are from jabberjays, they weren’t real. but finnick was inconsolable, insisting that jabberjays copy sounds from the source.

“please, let me go!” he had yelled at katniss. “they got her, they got y/n!”

he was panicked, crying for you, and you couldn’t do anything but watch as it went on for an hour. you wanted to console him right then and there, to hold him and reassure him that you’re fine, but you weren’t able to.

you didn’t want to open your eyes, but you hear his voice again. finnick’s not screaming your name, but he is whispering it. something warm covers your hand, and you almost flinch if not for the familiarity of it. when you do open your eyes, you are met by a bright light, almost harsh, but most of all--

“finnick,” you whisper, and your voice is hoarse.

finnick exhales when he looks into your eyes and sees that you’re really here, you’re alive. he cups your hand in his, pressing kisses on it as he tries to keep his tears from falling. “y/n, how are you feeling?”

you don’t know what to tell him. confused as to where you are. tired and sore. relieved to see that he’s here in front of you. in love.

despite all of this, you can only think of one thing. the one thing you’ve always felt whenever you look into finnick odair’s eyes.

“happy.”

finnick smiles boyishly, as he look down, clearly flustered. it takes someone special to make him flustered like that, and it’s always been you.

he reaches over to plant a gentle kiss on your temple, nose, cheek, and then lips. “me too.”

[annmarcus63]

GIVE US TO HIM

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Warning: this might hurt a little

on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34157128

Grandma said once that to give away your raw score is forbidden.

"Your heart in it's full rawness, chaos, is a precious and dangerous thing. Never you should do something as giving it to someone else."

"But our ancestors used to do it. Look ma ¡look!" said Jaskier holding his story book on the air for grandma's tired eyes to see. A handsome knight was lying on the dry grass, dying from a wound on his stomach. He started calling for his love, an ancient fae with blond hair and fair skin. She fell upon the prairie from the charged clouds, with something shiny between her hands. The fae feed the wound with her raw core, her heart. The knight lived along side her, flying amongst the starry night, happily ever after. "This are just stories, Julian" said Grandma with contened anger in her dry voice. She took the book and close it on her thighs "Things were rarely like that. Knights and kings are more inclined to use our cores against us and other people. We can't recover from that loss" Julian look at the drawing on the coverbook, the fae was kneeled by a pond and the knight stood glorious in practically all the cover, leaving a very small space for the real hero, the one who save the life of the protagonist.

"Never give your raw core away. Stop reading these, THEY wrote this, Julian, you must be clever than her" said Grandma pointing at the beautiful fae. Julian nod, undesrtanding much more that he wanted to, and so little, so so little. Maybe that was the reason his family were hiding, they never express it in a literal way, that was the point really, but Julian notice anyway. The way, for example, of how they said their names and the rust taste that was left on the air after. It was common to hide their real names for fae, but you'd give that name knowing it's false, on the opposite when you say the false name thinking is the real one then another fae would know. Losing the self was something of a disease between the fae. Jaskier later knew that his parents have not choice but to lose themselves to save the lineage. Most fae really. Humans did that. Like they did to the elfes. Julian promise to never forget about the fae from his last storybook. He'll never forget about her sacrifice and the sacrifice of his people. But come on, after some years it was just naturally that, despite the wound on the history, a selfish creature he was and he forgot. He was raised as human, and he wanted to be a bard oh how he want it. And he did accomplish that, and a bloody good one that's for sure. Fae were extinct for all the world and that wasn't a cover, they're doomed to extinction sooner or later. It has been years since the last time Jaskier felt another fae being born. He is Jaskier troubadour, master of the seven liberal arts a mastermind amongst the crowds, a legend…an idiot most of the time basically.

What grandma failed to mention is that for a fae to be able to give their core away the recipient must be worthy at the eyes of the fae. Once this worthiness makes evident, that person would plant roots in the core itself, whether the fae want it or not. It's inevitable. Grandma should have said "be aware of where you place your heart. Hold it until you're fully sure of them" But well, it wouldn't have matter in the end. Jaskier have never being someone who follows advice, much less from his dead relative. It happened naturally, like breathing, eating and shitting. One moment he was standing next to Geralt under a pouring rain, the witcher kept looking for a missing girl on the edges of the woods, her parents place a bounty on the towns board, they couldn't offer payment in form of crowns but they're willing to let them sleep on the girl’s room. Jaskier became indignant, how a witcher is supposed to take a payless bounty? No, that is unacceptable. But despite the protesting bard and zero reward whatsoever Geralt went anyway, he look for a girl who surelly was already dead.

"I found her body near the cave by the pond. You can go for her by morning when it's safe. I'm sorry" after a minute of silence the parents with equal expression of cold sorrow release a heavy sigh charged with so much grief.

"What did it?" asked the father

"Nekkers. I got rid of the pack living there"

"Thank you, witcher. You and your bard can come in, i'm sure you're exhausted” Said the mother with great effort, like someone who can't breathe quite well.

Geralt rapidly added "No, I'm sure you and your husband need time to resign and mourn alone. My bard and i already had another place to stay" Eh, no they didn't.

"But...we don't have any crowns"

"I didn't do this for payment" And while the parents thanked infinitely to Geralt, Jaskier felt something wild and untamed surging from his chest. Reaching unabashed for the witcher with a big golden heart standing next to him, explaining to a mourning parents that he went to search for their lost daughter because he wanted to help. This new awareness of chaos, he knew what it was.

Chaos, core, raw.

And it had marked Geralt as his. We want him.

Give us to him. He's worthy.

He was doomed, so doomed from the very beginning since they encounter each other on Posada. Grandma tried to warn him of this. Oh grandma, you and i both know that I was never obedient or wise. So Jaskier let it happen, four years after knowing the witcher and his raw core already belong to him. But he didn't do it. He hold back despite the urgency on his chest because he wasn't sure it'll be welcome. Geralt was still trying to get rid of him in every town, sometimes Jaskier felt like a pet you don't want but you can't abandon it either. Surely there'd be a time in the future. And Jaskier wait and fell in love deeply with each passing year. And Geralt...well he was the same and also different in his own way, more at ease around him, softer maybe. Jaskier didn't need to be call a friend to felt like one to Geralt. They're friends, even if one part has being in denial for the past decade.

And then the djinn happened follow by the complicated affair with one Yennefer of Vandenberg. The curse caused the core to retreat afraid and wounded. He hurt us, he wished to hurt us. Jaskier argued with the voice that it wasn't his intention, he didn't even know he was the one with the wishes. In truth his heart shattered not for the wish but for the easiness in which the sorceress become someone important to Geralt, something to hold on to even if drowning. One decade and still Jaskier thinks he haven't reached that relationship level with his friend.

He doesn't want us

No.

"Uhmm?"

"What?"

"You said no"

"Oh, it's nothing" Geralt didn't ask again

But weak and in love he was, the raw core and him reached out again, with fully open arms for Geralt to pull. Jaskier long to belong to him, oh how he did.

Yennefer and her shining imbecile knight join the hunt and he was jealous because as soon as she appear the witcher was drooling as if she was all he needed to shut down the darkness inside.

Don't you know? inside me there's a full light waiting for you to hold

At the softness of the afternoon Jaskier found Geralt sitting on a rock lost, as usual, in though. But this time were different, he had failed three people, Borch's dead has left a wound that surely would scar badly. And the bard felt a deep sadness for his golden heart witcher. He's definitely blaming himself for the fall, for that narrow and insecure path alongside the mountain as if he was the one to build it.

Jaskier asked him to come with him to his home, to the coast, he yearn to be there with him and feel the sea wind on their faces while walking by a cliff near a quiet village that Geralt wouldn't mind to visit.

We want to be his.

Give us to him.

We can love him better.

But Geralt didn't want him, he wanted Yennefer.

He give himself to him anyway.

"Here" said Jaskier putting a hand on Geralt's thigh, surprise, instead of flinching away Geralt held Jaskier's hand and with most carefulness took what was inside the palm. A small glass vial, similar to the ones where he pours his potions. He held it on his gloved open hand. There was something inside, warm and inviting. White, almost yellow that make Geralt felt calm and safe.

"What's this?"

"A gift. It'd take care of you" Geralt frown at him, confused and uncertain of what it meant, but he took it with a barely there smile only for Jaskier to see.

He's a coward, he couldn't confessed him the reality of what it meant because he was terrified of being rejected, grandma said that a rejection is so devastating that it might kill him. And even at this point in their friendship Jaskier couldn't know for sure.

It's me. Take me, i'll protect and save you if needed to. Have me, please have me.

Geralt went that night at Yennefer's tent and Jaskier felt glad for not having told him the truth

"If life could give me a blessing it would be to take you off my hands"

No, no, not now.

They're doing fine.

And then very fast very suddenly Geralt reached for his breast pocket to held the vial of raw core on his fist and toss it unceremoniously to the hard soild.

The noise of shattered glass invaded Jaskier's ears before the heavy blankness surged from his chest to every corner of him.

“No, no, no” said he, giving a fumbling step towards the vial but deciding to turn around instead.

Away away away away.

He can't see me like this.

Something was tearing in fine lines caused by the trembling, an earthquake from his very bones that were fighting on maintaining their solid formation. Something inside was bawling with such and intensity that make his ears bleed.

Was this dying? let it be death for he can no longer take it. Does breathing always hurt this much? like if his lungs were filled with wool and the air only add heaviness on them. What was this? a beating heart, so afraid so betrayed, like a laugh from his ancestors. He wanted to throw up his intestines, they're on fire, but when he tried only saliva flood. He was not himself anymore, and to become whole was an impossibility that the pain was making sure off. Dirt get inside his mouth, his cheek on the ground was getting cut by rocks. A voice calling for him to react, to say something. But he no longer have a voice, he was death itself preparing for a long dream.

I’m sorry grandma.

I'm sorry, said to himself

and he remembered the blond fae on the cover book between grandma's hands, of how she give her life to save her love one, but who'd give their life for her?

who'd give their life for him?

He needed to sleep, right here on the mountain ground, to become whole again or at least half whole.

He begged for death instead.

[illuminatedquill]

Extracurricular, An Analysis

Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as it’s accomplice.”  - Tom Robbins 

You know the story. You’ve heard it before, right? 

Boy meets girl. 

Girl finds out that boy is running a side protection business for prostitutes. 

Girl decides to blackmail boy into letting her join his business. 

Classic high school criminal shenanigans ensue leading them into more dangerous situations where they are forced to make desperate decisions to stay alive. 

Oh, and they fall in love along the way. 

Oh? You haven’t heard this one before? Then let me introduce you to this delightful kdrama called Extracurricular. 

I watched this one while waiting for the newest Hometown Cha Cha Cha episodes to drop and ended up binging the whole series in two days. There are many remarkable parts of this series: it’s a crime drama, first and foremost, that showcases high school teenagers caught in a cycle of violence and crime, abandoned by the society and adults that are supposed to be protecting them. There are no clear good guys and bad guys in this drama; everyone is cast in shades of grey. Our main leads, Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri, run the prostitution business, and are both from broken family backgrounds. Their actions are morally questionable at best, but the top tier performances from Kim Dong Hee (you might remember him from Itaewon Class) and Park Ju Hyun make you cheer for them anyway. You want them to have a happy ending, despite the horrible things they do. The audience is always reminded that despite how clever they are in staying ahead, their actions have consequences, and they’re just high school kids. The drama never pulls it punches. 

But, weirdly enough, it’s also a love story. And that’s the part the really sticks with me until now. (The chemistry between the main leads is absolute dynamite and I could watch ten episodes of them just verbally sparring with each other. They don’t even kiss. They’re that fantastic when together on screen.)

I’m writing this because this is undoubtedly one of my all time favorite kdramas and I have a lot of feelings about our main pairing, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri. I can’t call them a couple (wait, didn’t I just say they fall in love) because their relationship can’t be labelled simply as that. Think of it as something similar to the main leads in My Ahjussi. Two people who should have become soulmates, yet met at the wrong time. 

This kdrama is not particularly happy, and while I do encourage people to watch this, I am warning that the subject matter is extremely dark. If you’re sensitive to scenes depicting sexual assault, graphic violence, or anything in that zip code you’ll want to steer clear. 

Also, I’ll be diving into spoiler territory in this analysis. So if you want to go in clean, then stop reading here. 

Still here? Awesome. Let’s dive deep into the messy, amazing pairing that is Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri. First, let’s do a brief character background on our two main leads, starting with Ji-soo. 

Oh Ji-soo is one half of our main pairing and this story starts with him. He lives by himself and has been essentially abandoned by his only parents; his father is a failed businessman who gambles whatever money he acquires on scams and his mother ran away. His apartment is small, sparse, but functional. He owns only a few outfits aside from his school uniform. The only unique item he owns is a pet hermit crab that he takes care of. His life outside of school is non-existent; he has no friends, no one to hang out with and do typical high school teenager activities with. He takes care of himself and lives only for himself and his “dream”: to graduate, attend college, get married, and have kids like a normal person. 

But to do that, he needs a large amount of money. He has no other financial means to do so (his father is largely absent, as is his mother), so he decides, at some point, to start up this protection business for prostitutes. The drama doesn’t go into detail about the how and why he came to this conclusion that this was the best way to make a lot of money in a short amount of time, so you’ll have to suspend your disbelief from the get go. Considering the themes of the story (how youths abandoned by society tend to act out in extreme ways to make it in this world), it’s not hard to believe his desperation would drive him to make such a decision. 

Ji-soo, despite his shady business, is actually a decent person. There’s a streak of humanity that exists inside him that refuses to go out, despite the increasingly dark and bleak events that start to overtake his life. He’s attached to his hermit crab, cares for his “employees” outside of them being tools to make him money, and doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt. He goes above and beyond what’s required to help out people at the risk of his own life (in particular, Gyu-ri, and we’ll get into that shortly). 

What we learn from the first few episodes is that Oh Ji-soo is extremely smart and methodical in how he approaches his life. At school, he is known as a model student - quiet, top of the class in terms of grades, doesn’t draw any attention to himself, always follows along with what the teachers ask of him. Only his homeroom teacher, Mr. Cho, seems to consider his quiet style of existence to be concerning and tries to make him less socially awkward by pairing him up with another student in a new extracurricular club. This leads to the introduction of Bae Gyu-ri, Ji-soo’s longtime crush and future partner-in-crime. 

Meet Bae Gyu-ri, the other half of our dynamic duo. Her introduction into the story kickstarts the entire plot, as one of her earliest actions leads to a domino effect that spells increasing doom and tragedy for our main leads. She messes with Ji-soo’s operation at a critical moment and she spends the rest of the drama doing her best to make up for the consequences that follow. 

In my personal opinion, she is probably the best main female lead I’ve ever seen in a kdrama. Hands down, no other character exists (currently) that rivals her sheer cunning, wit, and badassery. Gyu-ri is Crazy, capital C, and is the chaos to Ji-soo’s control; the fire to his ice. Despite being the direct cause of half the events that happen to Ji-soo in the drama, he can’t help but need her because of what she offers. They make an incredible team. Her competitiveness, her need to win no matter the odds, helps them survive time and time again. 

Gyu-ri is from the opposite end of the spectrum of Ji-soo; he’s dirt poor and she’s insanely rich (always nice to see a reversal of typical kdrama tropes). Her mother and father run a successful entertainment company. Gyu-ri is popular at school, friends with seemingly everybody, pretty, cheerful and gets along well with her teachers. Ji-soo, and the audience, believe from the beginning that she has the perfect life. It’s not hard to believe that she’s just involving herself in Ji-soo’s business because she’s bored and needs an outlet, at first. 

We soon learn otherwise. Gyu-ri has more in common with Ji-soo than he initially realizes, in that they’re both trapped in circumstances beyond their control - it’s just that Gyu-ri’s cage is gilded, whereas his is not. Her parents are strict and have her life planned out for her, all without her consent or input, leaving her feeling frustrated and powerless despite her rich lifestyle. A suicide attempt hasn’t done much to change her parents attitude towards her, only serving to further their control over her life. 

So, when she learns of Ji-soo’s operation she immediately seeks to angle her way into it. First, she tries to rip him off, believing that he’s an evil “pimp” and thus deserves it. But after spending some time with him, she changes her mind last second and decides to help him out instead. 

And, now, let’s get into their relationship, which is one of the best (if not the best) aspect in the entire series. 

I need to be upfront about something: the relationship between Ji-soo and Gyu-ri is not exactly healthy. I wouldn’t describe it as toxic - the circumstances surrounding them aren’t exactly the best environment to encourage open and honest communication - but it’s definitely not what should be considered ideal, especially for young adults, and especially for young adults who are dabbling in crime instead of studying. 

So, why do I love them so much? If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you know that I loathe toxic relationships in kdramas, so I understand if you think I’m coming off as hypocritical here. Why do I like Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri when I didn’t like, for example from recent history, (oh boy, here I go again on my Nevertheless BS) Park Jae-eon and Yu Na-bi?

First, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are way cooler than Jae-eon and Na-bi ever could be. They run a criminal enterprise that involves having a high amount of intelligence, cunning, and daring to do so. Do Jae-eon and Na-bi run a criminal enterprise as a side business? No, they don’t, because they’re boring art students. 

Secondly, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri actually progress in their relationship and change their views as they learn from each other. Now, granted, that progress isn’t towards becoming better versions of each other - quite the opposite. But at least they have progress. Jae-eon and Na-bi stayed in the same stupid cycle for the whole series and then decided that it was better staying that way as opposed to trying for something else. 

Last, but certainly not least, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are actually interesting to watch for me. The chemistry between Park Ju Hyun and Kim Dong Hee is explosive and they way they spar, exchange looks, and just generally exist around each other on screen is something I can watch forever. I’ve said this before but Han So Hee and Song Kang’s on screen chemistry, outside of their intimate scenes, really didn’t impress me. 

Okay, back to Extracurricular. This relationship, man. It’s all I can think about (other than HomeCha’s Du-sik and Hye-jin, but that’s another post). Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are so good together. 

I’ve noted before that Ji-soo is methodical in how he approaches his life; he plans out everything ahead, and rigs any situation as much as he can in his favor. It’s brilliant, but when a crisis happens, he doesn’t know how to deal with it effectively. He panics and flounders; becomes indecisive at a time when clear, decisive action is required. 

Enter Gyu-ri. She quickly becomes the partner he never knew he needed. When there’s a situation, she becomes invaluable in her quick thinking and wit, coming up with solutions on the fly. It’s not perfect, but it keeps them just one small step ahead of whatever is coming their way. 

The only thing preventing them from becoming unstoppable is the lack of communication and trust they have with each other. A lot of that has to do with how Gyu-ri entered Ji-soo’s business - she blackmailed him first, and, when that failed, she strong armed her way into getting him to accept her help. It’s implied in the drama that Ji-soo has had a crush on Gyu-ri for a while (since ninth grade, I believe) and in the first episode he actually gets the chance to spend time with her outside of school on a sort of quasi-date. 

It goes sideways pretty quickly because of some shenanigans from his business, but not before she gets to know him and says some pretty touching words regarding his situation. Poor guy is head over heels - even after finding out that she’s the one blackmailing him, his feelings are only dampened, not extinguished. When he catches a glimpse of her family’s situation, he gains a deeper understanding of her and why she acts the way she does. Even more importantly, Ji-soo treats her the same after finding out this information which, to someone like Gyu-ri, means more than if he comforted her about it. 

If you want to see a physical representation of how he feels, other than paying attention to his actions, you can see it in him keeping mementos from Gyu-ri. She has an interesting habit of folding bags into origami shapes and giving it to him. Even after the blackmail reveal, you can see that he continues to keep these in a container on his desk. It’s really cute that he keeps these, when it probably doesn’t even matter that much to Gyu-ri. 

Towards the end of the drama, Ji-soo prepares to turn himself in to prevent Gyu-ri from being implicated in the crimes they committed. And it costs him almost everything to protect her. Ji-soo, the quiet, nerdy kid, puts himself on the line time and time again to protect Gyu-ri, knowing that it puts his life and his dream at risk to do so. And all for what? For some girl that he thinks doesn’t even like him in return? 

Well, let’s talk about that. Because I’ve seen some comments that Gyu-ri was only using Ji-soo for her own selfish gain. And I can agree that was how it was at the beginning for her; she definitely was only interested in acquiring money, like Ji-soo was, in order to achieve her own goal of being free from her parents. 

But, oh man, that is not what is motivating her at the end. 

It’s actually pointed out relatively early by some of her friends that it’s obvious that she likes Ji-soo more than he likes her. Understandably Ji-soo is keeping her at arms length from him given the whole recent blackmailing, so it would make sense that it looks that way. 

Further questioning reveals what she likes the most about him: 

“It’s not like I’m crazy about him. He’s fun. And amusing. He’s smart. And there’s a certain charm he has. He also has a wolfish side to him. But he thinks he’s a puppy.” 

- Bae Gyu-ri

But, as she gets to know Ji-soo better, you can certainly see that she starts to fall hard for him. As a cover story for why they hang out so much together during and after school, Gyu-ri states to everyone that they’re dating. The reactions across the school definitely imply that this is a shocking development, which means that Gyu-ri hasn’t dated anyone before. So why Ji-soo other than the reasons she herself states? 

He challenges her, just as she challenges him. Gyu-ri may be the more dynamic, quick thinking of the pair but Ji-soo is every inch her intellectual equal - just in different ways. She doesn’t seem to be the type to be easily impressed, but you can tell that she’s definitely impressed by Ji-soo’s operation and how thoroughly set up it is. When Ji-soo is frustrated at the beginning by his setbacks, he blows up at another student (knocks him out in a crazy punch) and immediately walks over to Gyu-ri afterwards (who saw the whole thing) to inform her that she is now his partner in crime. 

The look in her eyes, and the small smirk she has speaks volumes about her attraction to him in that scene. Smoldering. 

And, oh yes, she’s prone to jealousy. Another classmate, Min-hee, gives Ji-soo a present out of the blue (it was supposed to be for her boyfriend, Ki-tae, but that’s another sub-plot) - all within view of Gyu-ri. It’s hilarious how she tries to brush it off. Later, for plot reasons, Ji-soo has to spend more time with Min-hee which only furthers Gyu-ri’s annoyance. 

And her motivations stop being entirely about the money and more towards helping preserve the dream that she and Ji-soo share about being free. There’s a scene in episode 8 where it’s revealed that, due to a business partnership with a local gang (set up by none other than Gyu-ri herself in a desperate move), Ji-soo would have to drop out of school permanently to work on their behalf. Gyu-ri overhears this and, despite badly needing the gang’s help in sustaining their own business, immediately terminates the partnership. 

All because it would interfere with Ji-soo’s dream. 

Man, if that isn’t love. 

In the following episode, Gyu-ri, and later on Ji-soo, is kidnapped by the same gang in retaliation for terminating their partnership. Ji-soo comes to her rescue but Gyu-ri is already almost free (again, she’s really, really badass) and is demanding that they bring Ji-soo to her instead of running for her life. 

Surviving this latest attempt puts the two in a reflective, vulnerable mood and Gyu-ri asks Ji-soo why he keeps saving her. Ji-soo asks later on why she keeps risking her life to be with him. They don’t say the answer in words but in an almost kiss (yeah, you read that right - almost). 

And then, if you aren’t already convinced, Ji-soo crosses his one last remaining line in an effort to keep Gyu-ri safe; he accidentally pushes a fellow classmate down some steps and, instead of helping her, leaves her to die after grabbing the evidence she has on him and Gyu-ri. 

Extracurricular pulls off quite the magic trick here, hiding this well done love story in the middle of a serious crime drama. 

The real tragedy is that Ji-soo thinks that Gyu-ri views this whole business, and by extension his life, as one big game. It’s something that she takes offense at, visibly becoming upset when he says that. 

But even if that were true, he should be assured since Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose. 

As they hurtle towards the end and face up to the consequences of their actions, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri undoubtedly lose sight of their original goals and dreams. They do some fairly horrible things to stay alive and ahead of the police who are close on their trail. You can’t really blame them for doing what they did; in the face of a society that has abandoned them, what they’re doing is a logical outcome to gain what they want so desperately and deserve so much: the chance to be free to live like normal, care-free people. 

I can’t say for certain that they achieve that. The drama is serious in consequences and, at the end, the net around them is drawing tighter and tighter. I won’t spoil the ending scene for you, because I highly encourage you watch this drama yourself but I will say this: Ji-soo and Gyu-ri seem stuck in an impossible situation with nowhere to go, and no one to help them, with a clock ticking down towards either death or discovery by the police. 

But, all the same, I’m always the optimist. They’ve gotten through situations like this before and they can certainly do so again. Maybe not as bad as this one, but not too far out of their league. And, like I mentioned before, Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose. Especially when it comes to Ji-soo. 

Their relationship is truly dangerous, as Ji-soo himself notes. Them being together is the source of their problems; they’re too much alike now, as opposed to the beginning of the drama where he stated that they’re too different. Their love is the kind of love where both of them are willing to burn the whole world down if it means keeping each other safe. 

I’m a real sucker for those kind of love stories. No one’s a hero here. They’re just kids in high school, doing the best with what they know. 

Who are we to judge what is right and wrong? Especially when the one committing the acts are high school kids who don’t know any better and just want to save each other? 

Do we have that right? 

Do they really deserve that punishment? Shouldn’t we be pointing fingers at the society that forced them to act this way? 

Extracurricular really makes you think about that. Is it really so outlandish and terrible what Ji-soo and Gyu-ri do to survive when the adults who are supposed to be protecting them, teaching them better, have failed in their duty? 

Maybe they really did win at the end. Not so much in succeeding in their goals but in gaining something that not even regular people are likely to find - a partner, a soulmate, someone who will stand by you no matter what. 

If you do watch the ending, and are not an optimist like I am, then all I can say is this: whatever happened, they were together at the end. 

They were together. 

[lostinfinity1]

Theory time : Trash of the count’s family

As usual, it’s pretty long.

And I don’t think I ever got a theory right. So if you don’t want to read a lot, skip it. Spoiler until chapter 480 of the light novel and a few things that I was spoiled. (I know, I still have a long way to go with 700+ chapter having been released, but the idea just kept coming back in my head and I was trying to not work on other things. So, I procrastinate to write this and to flee the tiny humans visiting who wanted to keep playing with me until exhaustion.)

Theory: Cale Henituse aka Kim Rok Soo ‘s soul/ heart is someone from the ancient time.

Why? There are a few things that caught my attention while reading the first 480 chapter.

I first thought about it because the ancient powers’ behaviour surprised me a little.

1.      The little hints in the ancient powers

               a.      The way the ancients power saved the “water of judgment”.  They burned a whole area in the North, created an epic mess and saved/ freed someone in the process. When I read about that crazy plan, I thought: that is something Cale would do. And the more I thought about it, the more I am certain Cale would have done something like that had he lived in that time. Create a big mess to save someone.  

            b.      The ancient powers personalities. Don’t they seem like crazy people that would gather around Cale had they lived in the present time? Also, Cale kept wondering if the Cobblestone was human since he killed so many monster in the tunnel between the two continent next to his villa. But if the ancient powers were not all human, it would parallel Cale present time where he befriends so many different races that look up to him. And while they worked together to save the water ancient power, they seemed to have split later on since they all died alone and they did not all seem to be friends.

                                          i.     It made me think of another theory, if the one person (Cale original self per example) they gathered around together died or disappeared (Cale is the heart of the group in this present time too), it wouldn’t surprised me that they would split. And that would kinda explain why the fight was so complicated that all evil and all heroes died if the strategist had died beforehand and that the core members had died while branching out.

               c.      The way the scary cobblestone kept asking: do you want to sacrifice yourself. Now we know that he wasn’t doing it to scare him (well maybe a little), but because he was worried and wanted to protect him. But what if he was asking and being worried because he and the other power knew his self-sacrificial tendencies from back in the days (and that they failed to protect him maybe)?

              d.      Cale can hear the ancient power while others who have ancient powers don’t. It was said that it was because the power didn’t fuse with him properly, but it might have been a subconscious choice from him. Cale also chose to not to fuse with them to keep hearing them. The reason could be because while he doesn’t remember them, he subconsciously didn’t want to lose them again.

                e.      The reason Cale was so lucky to find all five ancient powers could be because they all wanted to be found by him. Why? To protect him. They were all on the same side of the war. None of the powers are the ones that the white star or his subordinate had. I know most of them came from the Birth of a hero book from Nelan Barrow but (SPOILERS that I found out that happens later in the series, be warned, 600+ chapter ?) it was said that the current god of Death could be the first Choi Aka Nelan Barrow. He was also part of the group of heroes from that time since he was the only survivor of the last battle because he was protected by the Scary cobblestone. If he had known about the original Cale, he could have written about them for Cale to find because he knew they would have wanted to protect him. Remember that some ancient powers in the book were mentioned, but never claimed. That itself is pretty weird unless it was on purpose. And Nelan Barrow might have written down only the powers that he knew that Cale had met, if he had met the ancient power after they had split since I don’t think they say at what time exactly he arrived in ancient time. It could be before, in, or after the war.

               f.       The world tree hint. Chapter 172 I think : “There were people like you whom I could not see their pasts nor futures. I could only see tiny glimpses of their near future.” And later. “– The owners of the ancient powers were just like you. I could not see them. (…) I couldn’t see through the arsonist nor the rock for brains.”

 2.      Cale ability “record”.  I have a theory that the ability people awakened in his version of Earth are things or power that they either consciously or subconsciously wanted. Like his team leader embrace that stem from his desire to become an actor in the past. The ability to “record”, thus remember things, might stem from him subconsciously wanting to remember people in this time since he forgot (because of reincarnation probably) his past life (or lives).

 3.      The Henituse motto. "There is no reason to be recorded in history. Live for peace and happiness instead." The key word here is “recorded”. Knowing Cale’s ability, this sentence hits differently. What if the Henituse family had ties to Cale’s earlier life (ves?) ? Or was created by him at one point in time if he had more than one incarnation? It’s an old, selfless noble family that ended up protecting people from the forest of darkness while quietly living their life. The motto is essentially how Cale wishes he could live. I always thought it was fishy when I read it. The first incarnation of Cale may or may not have had the record ability though, but may reflect Cale’s desire not to known as a hero or recorded as one. However, the two sentences still hold true to what Cale wants and desire, especially if he lived in the troubled/war time that was the ancient times.

 4.      The birthday conundrum. It seems the Choi of the past and present and Kim Rok Soo share the same birthday. It might be the “link” that allowed the Choi and Cale to transmigrated into the birth of a hero world. But I wondered something else, what if (Spoilers again like earlier, so 600+ chapter spoilers that I saw online) the link was more subtle or emotional. If the first Choi, Nelan Barrow, chose that day, his own birthday, to incarnate people to protect someone. Kim Rok Soo friend, the nephew of Choi Han, ended up dying to protect Kim Rok Soo. Choi Han is currently acting as Cale’s sword. Nelan Barrow, possibly the god of death, is using Kim Rok Soo to save the world, maybe 2 worlds since he was also a hero on Earth.  Anyway, the God of death seems like a complicated story that will get worse as it goes on.

 5.      Cale’s aura. The fact that people keep mistaking him for dragons/demons/some sort of other being. He could be related to the gods or be a divine race, or just a human favored by nature (and possibly his past friends that had a close affinity to nature such as the ancient powers). It points toward the fact that Cale is someone special in any case.

 6.      SPOILER Chapter 600+. Cale’s mother from the Thames family has a time/fate? Ancient power. The Thames family also gathered information about transmigrator and the sort. So there is definitively something going on on that side that has yet to be revealed.

 7.      Raon power is the present. It sounds like a strange power and, as of chapter 481, he hasn’t really used it yet. I kept wondering why he had that power. But if Cale’s time is related to the past, maybe Raon is going to be needed to secure is time in the present or something of the sort. But I feel like his power is a clue to the events to come.

 8.      Cale time is warped according to the white star. That itself doesn’t say much, but (SPOILER Chapter 600+ that I saw) Original Cale had not his time warped apparently. I am wondering if it’s because Kim Rok Soo transmigrated or if it’s actually because it’s is soul/heart that is from the ancient time.

 9.      Cale/Kim was supposed to die, but didn’t according to the god of death. His friend from Earth weren’t supposed to die, it seems. Kim Rok Soo was supposed to die, but it was never cleared when he was supposed to die. It could mean that he was supposed to die in the past, the ancient time kinda past. Yet, he is here now. I also find it weird that his past team leader on Earth took the time to explain to him, he who can remember everything, how is special ability, Embrace, work when it was not standard to talk about them. I also wonder a lot about him since he was the first one to find Kim Rok Soo and that he was one of the first to develop an ability, but that’s off topic.

 Well, that’s all I could think off.

I’ll keep reading the novel when I get more time and probably think how a fool I was to write this. Bah, Tumblr is the land of fools. It would not be the first time I am completly wrong about something. And this novel is pretty good at being hard to predict.

[navalcriminalimagines]

“Hi ma’am. Uh—I’m looking for Jethro Gibbs?” The 15 years old boy asked to Ellie Bishop. Who’s that kid? She’s never seen him before, or heard her boss talked about a teenager. And she doesn’t recall how it could be link to any case.

“You are?” She asked, intrigued.

“It’s—personal,” the teenager said. Now, she’s even more intrigued. If he had blue eyes, she’d have asked herself if he shared DNA with her boss.

“I’m gonna call him but I just need your name,” she said, grabbing her phone.

“Harry! What are you doing here, bud?” Gibbs approached the teenager and Harry immediately ran into his arms. Gibbs hugged him tight.

“Can I stay with you today?”

“I—“ Gibbs wanted to tell him that he was working. But he was the sad eyes on Harry’s face. The kid has been though a lot lately, he can’t tell him no. “Let him call your mum, okay?”

Gibbs stood aside the bullpen while he called you, Harry was right next to him and the rest of the team came back. Tony and McGee stood next to Ellie, following where her eyes were watching. “Who’s that kid?” Tony asked first.

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Bishop answered.

While on the phone, they saw their boss smiling. A real smile. And then he put his hands in Harry’s curly hair.

“Does Gibbs has a kid we don’t know about?” Tim asked.

“He has green eyes,” Bishop stated.

“So? Do I look like my father?” Tony said, without thinking. Tim and Ellie turned their heads to look at their coworker. “Yeah, bad example, but you get the point.”

Right after Tony’s sentence, Gibbs hang up. The three agents pretended to be occupied at their own desk. Their boss had his arm around Harry’s shoulders as they came back to the bullpen. “Harry is going to be our honorary agent for the day. This is Tim, Tony and Ellie,”

“Hi,” Harry shyly waved at them.

“Hello Honorary agent Harry,” Tony stood up to check the teenager’s hand. “And he is?” Tony asked his boss.

“None of your business,” Gibbs simply answered. Tony growled, unhappy about not having an answer. “Update,”

While the team updated Gibbs on the case and what they found, Harry stayed really close to the boss. Gibbs always had a protective and special warmth towards kids and teenagers, but there was something special there. Tony promised himself to find what was the relationship there, by the end of the day.

Abby knew Gibbs would entered her lab any minute, but he never expected him to come in with a very young special agent. “Abby, Harry. Harry, Abby. Lab tech,” Gibbs said, and both Harry and Abby waved at each other. “What you got, Abs?”

“Many questions,” she said, looking at the teenager’s green eyes.

“Unhappy look,” Harry whispered to her, looking at Gibbs that was standing right behind her, waiting for her report.

“We call it the Gibbs stare, here,” she quickly said, before telling her boss what we wanted to know.

Harry was impressed. We knew things about Gibbs’ job, just like he knows what yours, since you’re a cop too. But what Abby is doing is very impressive to him, he would love to her multiple questions. “Can I stay with her?” Harry asked Gibbs, as they were about to leave the lab.

Jethro definitely hates how weak he can be with Harry. “Okay but a few rules,” Abby and Harry listened carefully, “First, Abby, do not interrogate him. And do not show him weird things his mother can be mad about. And you, bud,” Gibbs took a few steps closer to Harry, “enjoy your day, okay? I’ll come get you for lunch,” Gibbs kissed Harry’s forehead and left.

Abby didn’t waste any time, “Okay, bud,”

“Nope. Only Jethro calls me that. I hate it, but it’s an habit now,”

“Fine. Who are you to my boss?”

“Stepson, I guess. I think?—I’m not sure. Jethro and mum has—“ Harry stopped in the middle on the sentence and turned around. “God, I thought he was standing behind,” he said.

“Does he do that outside of work, too?” Abby asked, super exciting about knowing personal things.

“Yeah, it’s like he has a detector every time we say his name,”

“Today’s going to be so fun!”

Harry has never been into sciences at school, he’s more into languages and literature, just like his father. But Abby Sciuto made it so fun that his curiosity was exploding. Pretty much like the experience he was doing. “What did I do wrong?” Harry said, frustrated about failing.

“You took this,” Abby said, showing a product, “instead of that,” she showed another product.

“Damn!” Harry said. And of course, Gibbs has entered the lab at the very same moment. He extended his hand to his stepson, “do we have to do it even when Joe’s not around?” Harry complained. “I’m not a kid anymore,”

“Fine, but don’t tell your mother. And—what happened here? A tornado?” Gibbs asked, looking at the mess.

“I’m definitely not good at sciences,”

“You just need a good teacher, sweetie,” Abby said. “You can come around when you need help, if your—stepdad is okay,” Abby grinned at Gibbs, happy to know that info.

“What happened in that lab—better stay in that lab,” Gibbs said, “Hungry, bud?”

Gibbs and Harry went to the diner for lunch. “Text your mum, Harry. She’s worried,”

“Dad broke up with Lindsay. He wants me to come back and live with him again,”

“Is that what you want?”

“No—yes—maybe. I don’t know,”

“Hey, whatever you want to do, your parents will agree to it. All they want is for you to be happy, wherever you are,”

“Even if it’s in Australia?” Gibbs looked at Harry, confused. Last he knew, your ex husband is living in California. “Dad had a job offer in Sydney, he said yes. And he’s leaving next month,”

“If you want to go with him, do it,”

“How would you feel about it, J?”

“It doesn’t mat—“

“It matters to me. You’ve been in my life for almost ten years now. At some points, you were more a dad to me than Dad was. And you’re my baby brother’s father. I care about you, and I care about what you think,”

This is typically what Gibbs doesn’t like. He hates that kind of conversation, he hates to let people know how he feels and what he thinks. But if someone deserves to know a little about it, it’s definitely Harry.

“For me, there’s no difference between you and your brother— Family’s more than DNA. It’s about people who care and take care of each other.”

“Stop with those sentences all made up! Tell me how you’d feel if I move to Australia,”

Gibbs chuckled. The shy little boy he met 8 years ago was now becoming a confident young man. “I’ll miss you, okay? Just like I missed when you left for California! Are you happy now?”

“No! I’ll be happy when you and mum stop acting like children, and finally give Joe a stable family,”

“Your mum and I are dysfunctional, but we work that way. Did Joe tell you something?”

“He’s 5 and he wants what any other 5 years old want; he wants to live with his mother and his father, 24/7. In the same household,”

“With his big brother too, right?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point,”

After a blank during which Gibbs intensely stared at Harry, “I didn’t see you grow up. I’m proud of the young man you’re becoming,”

Harry smiled, “Say it,”

“What?” Gibbs asked, his mouth full of his burger.

“You know it! Say it,”

“Nope,”

“Why? Why is it so hard?” Harry paused. “Look— it can be easy when it’s true. I love you, dad.”

Harry called Gibbs “dad” occasionally. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. Jethro remembered the first time he heard it from him and the first Joe said it. He felt the same for both. That’s how he knew there was so difference between his real son and his stepson. They are both his sons.

“I love you,” Gibbs mumbled, with French fries in his mouth.

“Didn’t understand. What did you say?”

Gibbs swallowed. “I love you, son! Okay? You happy? Can I eat in silence now?”

“Yes, you can,” Harry proudly smiled.

In the afternoon, Harry stayed with Gibbs until the agent had no choice but to go on a run for the case. Gibbs let his stepson with Ducky. The doc showed Harry around, avoiding the autopsy and corpses obviously. By the end of the day, Ducky and Harry were playing chess at Gibbs’ desk, waiting for everyone to come back. But when they heard the elevator opening, here you were, with Joe in your arms. The little boy got down and ran to his brother as soon as he saw him. You hugged your son tight. “How are you, baby?” You asked.

“I’m good mum,” he smiled and kissed you on the cheek. “I’m beating Ducky,”

“Not yet, young man,” Ducky stood and hugged you. “How’s my favorite Gibbs?” He asked to Joe, who was holding onto his brother like a koala bear.

“Say hi to Ducky, sweetheart,” you told your youngest son and the little boy waved at the doc. Ducky and Harry sat back in their chairs, Joe was still holding Harry and you sat on Jethro’s desk.

“Where’s J?” You asked.

“Followed a lead, he should be back soon,”

The four of you stayed together, talking about everything and nothing until the elevator opened again. This time, it was Gibbs with his team. As soon as Joe saw his dad, he jumped from his brother’s lap and ran into Gibbs’ arm. “Hey baby,”

Tony, Tim and Ellie were more confused than they were hours ago when they met Harry. Ducky couldn’t help but smiling big. Before anyone could say anything, Abby appeared with Jimmy in the bullpen. The entire team was there. “How’d it go?” She asked.

The team explained that it led to nowhere, and they had to go back to the beginning on that case. While they did that, Jethro stole you a quick kiss, and he whispered something in Harry’s ears. “Checkmate!” Your son told Ducky as he made his final move.

“That’s cheating,” Ducky said.

“Nope. Dad and I share one brain,”

When the word “dad” was heard in the bullpen, everyone stopped talking and turned like one man towards Gibbs and you. Your boyfriend laughed, and moved Joe on his back, “Hang on Monkey!” He said.

“Can we go to McDonald’s?” The little boy asked.

“Nope,” “yes!” Gibbs and you answered at the same time. Jethro looked at you, but you were looking at Harry with a smile. “Boys!” You said.

In a second, Joe was tickling his father in the neck, and Harry was searching for his car keys while you were holding his arms. When your oldest found the keys, he handed them to you and the three of you ran to the elevator. “Team work!” You high five the boys.

Gibbs’ team was looking at him, more confused than they have never been in their life. Their boss laughed and walked towards the elevator and his family, “Good night everyone!”

[insomniacwritersblog]

the friendships between the five girls in murder most unladylike are really important and here's why

this will contain SPOILERS for all nine books in the mmu series, so read at your own risk

*cracks knuckles* i don't actually crack my knuckles, but this is probably gonna be long, so settle in

ever since once upon a crime came out i've been back on my mmu bullshit, and i was thinking about how good and important the friendships between daisy, hazel, kitty, beanie and lavinia are, and how much they all support each other, which is so important. here's why

kitty: i'm starting with kitty, because out of all of them, she has the most solid support unit in her family. she has a nice middle class life, with a nice family. her parents also seem to have a pretty solid and healthy relationship (in top marks for murder, we find out her mother is pregnant, and given that kitty and her sister are already in their teens, this indicates that their parents have a pretty healthy sexual relationship; obviously pregnancy can happen easy, but i hope you get the point). anyway. in jolly foul play, kitty's younger sister "runs away", which kitty is worried about given that her sister had been involving herself in the fallout of the murder and the gossip about the older pupils at the school. the rest of her friends help find her sister. i can't think of many other instances where the murder cases get personal for kitty, but when she needs her friends, they're there for her. another note, kitty is really protective and close with beanie, and has beanie stay with her during the christmas holidays while her parents are away because beanie's mother is ill (this is in the case of the missing bunbreak which is a short story - also! - kitty gets beanie a dictaphone because beanie isn't so good at writing stuff up)

beanie: out of all of them, beanie is the one that seems to value her friends the most, and this really shows. most obviously is in jolly foul play, when beanie knowingly puts herself between her friends and the girl they just discovered is the murderer. beanie. who originally has this nickname because she is physically small. she ends up in the school hospital afterwards, but she was able to protect her friends. beanie's friends are also very protective of her, probably because she is so loveable, which we see in top marks for murder. remember when her dad shows up by himself, and beanie is freaked out because she had recently seen a man strangle/attempting to strangle a woman in the woods? she goes running off, and her friends go after her and hug her and reassure her. good stuff.

lavinia: lavinia as a character is complicated, but here we go. she is very much the "gruff character with a heart of gold" character, but it feels pretty reasonable. in the very first paragraph of the first book, it is mentioned that lavinia comes from a "broken home" i.e. her parents are divorced. i think we find this out even before we find out hazel is chinese. so yeah, given that divorce was pretty uncommon in the 30s, escpecially among wealthier people, i think this affected lavinia pretty hard, and as a result of the fallout from her parents' marriage, she decided she didn't need anyone (this is my interpretation, take it or leave it, but i have proof. it's mentioned that lavinia has older brothers, so i think even when she was a child growing up, lavinia didn't have the experience of parents who loved her and each other, that their marriage was on the rocks for a while, and eventually they decided to just end with divorce, damn the repurcussions, damn the fact that it will be a talking point at their daughter's school). she also doesn't have a significant best friend, which must feel kind of lonely in her dorm because kitty and beanie are best friends, as are daisy and hazel. but she's not entirely a lone wolf, even if it seems like it at first. daisy and hazel's first case is finding lavinia's tie, because lavinia asked them for help. when daisy inducts lavinia into the detective society in the fourth book, it's because lavinia asked to be part of it, and even though she mocks daisy's solemn rituals, hazel notes that she seems pleased to be part of it. when daisy and hazel come back to school at the start of the book, lavinia makes a "we didn't really miss you" comment, but hazel can tell she doesn't mean it. hazel also notes that lavinia seems pleased when the others tell her and daisy about lavinia being good at tennis; this contrasts with the tennis exhibition scene later in the book when her father's fiancée is cheering her on. essentially, lavinia's rejection of parental figures means that she probably values her friends all the more, and the support they give her. a couple of instances of her being a good friend to the others that stick out as well: in jolly foul play, when kitty's sister binny is found, and binny says she is hungry, lavinia is the one to give her some chocolate. lavinia also decides to crash at kitty's during the christmas holidays rather than spend them with her father and his fiancée. this has got too long, let's move on.

daisy: a bit like lavinia, daisy can be a bit mean to/reject others, which i think comes down to her confidence and self-assurance. these are great personality traits, don't get me wrong, but there can be downsides to them. for example, in jolly foul play, daisy feels less self-assured about her friendship with hazel because hazel and alexander have started to write to each other after meeting on the orient express (i'd also point out that this is at a time when daisy probably needs support more than ever because she and her family are probably still dealing with the aftermath of the murder and murder trial, which was probably quite a big deal). at one point, hazel sees daisy making lists and writing notes about the murder, the things that hazel usually does during an investigation. we can put this rejection of friendship with hazel down to daisy's insecurity. even earlier in the series is arsenic for tea, where i can think of two significant moments. firstly, daisy and hazel see her mother secretly making out with a man that is not daisy's father. rough, which is why afterwards hazel comforts her. the second instance is when daisy and hazel overhear a conversation between the butler and daisy's father, and without complete context, it seems to confirm that daisy's father is the murderer. at first daisy won't acknowledge it, and hazel has to practically put the words in her mouth, which is a pretty tense and emotional moment. it's not really an argument, but hazel has to force her best friend to confront the fact that her father may have committed a murder, which again ties into her self-assurance. in the first book, hazel writes about the honourable daisy wells; popular, pretty, clever, the daughter of a lord. she is storybook perfect, but in the second book, we see that things aren't as perfect as they seem. daisy finds out her mother's infidelity, and later fears that the father she adores may be a murderer. her self-assurance about that everything in her life is golden begins to falter, and so she relies on herself and her friends to work through the murder case. daisy is also a good friend though, especially to hazel. yes, she can be mean and teasing sometimes, but ultimately she is a good friend. when hazel's grandfather dies in a spoonful of murder, the first thing we hear daisy say about it is "i guess i'm coming to hong kong then". hazel needed daisy and daisy is there for her. daisy comforts hazel through grief over her loss, jealousy about her new baby brother, and guilt about the subsequent kidnapping and murder that takes place. and in death sets sail? daisy saves the life of hazel's youngest sister may. literally, because may is maybe seven or eight, and probably can't swim. hazel and her family and everyone else is panicking, but daisy kind of just runs straight into the situation, never mind the danger, she has to save hazel's sister. and she does. also a couple of things to note about this scene, when daisy turns to look back just before she goes overboard, hazel wonders if it was because amina was watching, and daisy wanted to impress her. but hazel also hears daisy say her name just before she goes overboard. in that scene, through all the stress daisy was thinking about hazel, her friend, and saving her friend's little sister.

hazel: finally, we come to hazel. out of all of them, maybe even more than beanie, i would say that hazel values her friends the most. for the obvious reason, her family lives on another continent, and therefore it's important to have some strong connection with the people she does have near to her. at first it's just kind of necessity? when she first comes to deepdean, hazel is shy and no-one really talks to her, and she is pretty much just a sort of curiosity, very much the "other". it is after daisy watches hazel's failed experiment in fitting in with the other girls, and realises how she is clever and observant and puts on an act for others (which hazel also recognises in daisy), that daisy decides that they're going to be friends. it's also my theory that this then leads to kitty, beanie and lavinia befriending her a bit more. while they probably weren't unkind or r*cist to her, they probably let the "otherness" of hazel's ethnicity and nationality act as a barrier to properly getting to know her, which was probably exacerbated by the fact that hazel is quite introverted (compared to amina for example, who is very outgoing and lively, which meant that everyone at deepdean immediately loved her - there is something to be said about the fact that people probably didn't regard amina with the same amount of "otherness" because if they can have a asian pupil at their school, why not an african one?). hazel is also a kind person, which makes her a good friend to the others. near the end of death sets sail, she helps look for the cook's brooch which had been a gift from daisy, and later comforts kitty about not having a boyfriend. but hazel also relies on her friends, and they support her. when hazel's grandfather dies and her father wants her to come home, she insists on having daisy with her. kitty tells hazel about the fact that alexander is clearly pining for her. in the first book when everyone is discussing the teacher that has gone missing (because she's been murdered) beanie brings up a rumour that the teacher is "an agent for the East" then panics and apologises to hazel (something hazel notes that only beanie would think to do). there are other facets of hazel and her friendships, that i could explore, but i am tired and this has gone on long enough.

if you have reached the end, congratulations. hopefully you enjoyed this essay length ramble about female friendships in the murder most unladylike series

[mystic-shadows42]

Allure {Part 2}

Warnings: None

Aslaug and her sons gathered around to have their meal just as they always did around this time of the day. They had all been unusually quiet. Aslaug had noticed that they never were lively with you gone

So to get them to open up more, she turned her attention on Ubbe.

“When are you going to marry and have children?”

Ubbe sighed loudly. This conversation has come up quite a few times much to his displeasure.

“This again mother?”

“I am curious as to why you haven’t found yourself a suitable woman. They’re plenty here to choose from.”

“I don’t intend on marrying anyone anytime soon.”

Ubbe had lost his appetite at the thought of having to marry. His mother has always been adamant that he should lead his brothers by example. 

He didn’t want to marry to lead by example. He simply wanted to live his own life without being questioned or pushed to do so.

“That’s because he’s waiting for the inevitable to happen. We all know she’ll never marry him.”

“Whom do you speak of?” Aslaug asked curiously. She hadn’t seen any of her boys stick with one woman for long.

“Y/N,” Sigurd stated in an obvious manner.

“Shut up Sigurd!” Ubbe stated, throwing a piece of food at him. Aslaug felt like she was starting to lose control now that her boys were starting to fawn over you.

“I don’t think the daughter of Lagertha would be a good choice, considering her mother was once with your father.” Aslaug wanted their attention directed elsewhere other than on you.

“I’m surprised you’re actually denying a candidate for marriage.” All the boys grumbled in agreement.

“I want the best for you. She seems sweet but I’d rather you go with...someone else.”

“You sound bitter.”

Aslaug ground her teeth and turned to look at all her sons who were now focused on her.

“I have no reason to be, it’s just that there’s always someone better. I figured Bjorn and Lagertha would object to such a pairing considering the circumstances. Even if you were to be with Y/N there’d always be complications. It can’t always be-”

The doors had opened abruptly making all of them turn their heads to see who had interrupted their conversation. When they saw it was you at the door, they all sat up straighter staring at you with surprised looks on their faces. 

Your arrival had been unknown to them.

“Oh, you’re all having dinner. My apologies, I was just looking for Bjorn.”

Ubbe stood up from his seat immediately. “Don’t go. Have dinner with us.”

“I don’t think I should.”

“Please,” you couldn’t help it when all of them looked at you like that. So you gave in and nodded to them.

One of the new thralls was quick to give you a seat that was on the other end. Before any of the boys could say anything to you, Aslaug jumped in.

“So, Y/N, we certainly weren’t expecting you to come here today.”

“Which she’s always welcomed to at any time.” Ivar chimed in winking at you.

Aslaug bit her tongue not liking how quick they were to come to your defense. She didn’t hate you, she just didn’t like how you had the power to make or break her sons. That uncertainty is what unsettled her.

“My visit won’t be long. I plan on going back to Hedeby.”

“You don’t have to leave so soon. My boys rather enjoy your company. I myself don’t even know that much about you other than you being Lagertha’s daughter.”

You slightly tilted your head at Aslaug. “Something tells me that you know more than you’d like to share. You see my mother told me of your particular outlook on things that haven’t happened yet. She’s shared something with me when I was but a little girl still. One that I didn’t understand until I became a woman. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. It was, after all, your vision.”

Aslaug hummed. She was impressed with your quick wit.

“What vision do you two speak of?” Sigurd was quite curious as well as his other brothers. He had grown accustomed to the fact that his mother had visions. One that foresaw him having a defect in his eye making it look like a snake.

“It’s nothing.”

“I want to know now,” Hvitserk spoke while leaning forward. His food had been long forgotten now that you were here.

“It wasn’t my vision.” You stated looking to Aslaug. You knew she never told any of her boys what she saw. She figured if she never said anything that you might be forgotten somehow. “You can tell them.”

You nodded once more to Aslaug to let her know that it was okay to continue. All the boys then turned their attention onto their mother who was debating whether or not to tell them.

She knew it wouldn’t affect the outcome either way but still, it felt as if she was admitting defeat. 

The gods personally had you under their care because they favored Lagertha. It was set in the stars that Aslaug would bear Ragnar’s children. It was a bitter-sweet twist of fate. 

Not one person could truly live in happiness once the gods had plans for them.

She knew her time would soon be up. She had her sons and raised them well. She wouldn’t grow old, no, she would leave this earth soon but did she really want you around her boys manipulating them when she’s gone?

“My vision occurred when Y/N was just a little babe. She had this...presence about her. An aura if you will. I knew then that she was under the protection of the gods. How else would you explain Lagertha having a baby after so many failed attempts of conceiving? That wasn’t all. I saw that when she became a woman that all you boys would flank to her side. Be with her even when if it went against everything you believed in.”

Ubbe scoffed and threw a piece of meat down on his plate. Aslaug raised her eyebrow at his reaction.

“What? You don’t believe me?”

“You know I don’t. While I do believe what you see has some truth to it, I believe everyone acts on their own free will. Your vision changes nothing. My brothers and I do what we want and we’ll continue to do that until the day we die.”

“Oh, so you don’t think you’re overly fond of Y/N here? Do you not wish her to be your future bride?”

Ubbe’s smug smile had dissipated.

“In your vision mother,” Ivar quipped. “Do any one of us have her to ourselves?”

Aslaug sighed aloud. “I only saw her with all of you kneeling down to her. It was all just a bunch of quick flashes.”

“I hope you didn’t see everything. I’m quite a giving lover, that I’m proud to admit.”

Hvitserk was all smiles at what he said with only Ivar smiling at his joke. Aslaug was annoyed more than ever with her sons.

“Not all of you can have her. If any one of you were to marry it’d have to be just with one. Marriage is sacred.”

“I know it’s customary and ideal to marry but I don’t plan on doing such a thing,” you chimed in.

Aslaug clicked her tongue and patted her mouth with a cloth.

“May I ask why?”

“I’ve never seen one marriage in my life that worked. There’s no sense of love or loyalty. My mother told me of her previous marriages and they all failed some way or another. I made a vow to myself that I won’t be like that. I’ll make my own decisions on what I think is right.”

“Well, that seems a bit harsh. Don’t you want to elevate your status? You’re very beautiful and I bet you’d be capable of marrying an earl or even a king.”

“None of that is fitting for me. Marrying an earl or king would mean that I would be under their thumb. Those of high power are used to being in charge. They’d probably have very little patience for what I say and do.”

“I do admit it takes some getting used to but that’s what husbands are for. They’ll give you children and life goes on after that.”

“That doesn’t seem much of a life for me.”

All the talk of marriage between you and Aslaug had been a strain in the brothers’ eyes. Not one of them wanted to marry, but when the mention of you possibly marrying someone else in a made-up scenario just didn’t sit right with them. It would have to be one of them or no one at all.

Hvitserk reached for your hand and stroked it with his thumb, offering comfort and support.

“Don’t worry marriage is a tough subject for us too.”

“Perhaps we should go for a walk outside?” Ubbe mentioned wanting to get away from all this talk.

“Yeah, but Ivar can’t come. He’ll only slow us down if we have to carry him.”

“Sigurd,” Aslaug warned.

“What? Do you really think a cripple like him has a chance at being loved without women feeling sorry for him? I doubt he has any chance of having children. Though, I think it’s probably for the best.”

“Sigurd! That’s enough.” At the sharpness of your voice, Sigurd backed down.

Everything was hitting Ivar all at once. His anger towards his brothers began to surface. They had always doubted him. The rage and jealousy hit him tenfold. 

“Y/N, did you know that my brothers here have all shared the slave girl, Margrethe? That’s all they’ve been doing since you’ve been gone.”

After Ivar made his announcement Ubbe nudged Ivar’s seat and Hvitserk’s eyes grew wide. Sigurd was flabbergasted. They all were at a loss for words.

Now Ivar was the one with the smug look.

All three brothers were glaring at Ivar before turning their attention to you.

You retracted your hand from Hvitserk then watched them all before briefly turning your attention on the thrall whom they were speaking about. Her eyes were cast downwards while shuffling her feet in obvious discomfort.

“I appreciate you being truthful Ivar but your brothers can bed whomever they want. They can do whatever they want. They’re free right? Now if you’ll excuse me I have to find my brother.”

“Y/N, please,” Ubbe spoke up but you didn’t even turn to acknowledge him.

“Well, brothers it seems like I’m going to be favored and in Y/N’s good graces. Good luck trying to win over her affection.” Ivar smiled boastfully.

“She said we can do what we want.”

The brothers all looked at Hvitserk shaking their heads.

“Poor Hvitserk, so slow to catch on,” Ivar chuckled.

“Would you be okay with Y/N sleeping with someone else?” Hvitserk shrugged. “Other than us.”

That’s when Hvitserk’s expression changed. He didn’t like that thought at all.

“Yeah, I can see why she’d be upset.”

“I think it’s for the best. You all should keep your distance with her.” Aslaug had no problem voicing her opinion on the matter. She was actually glad her boys were focused on someone else at the moment.

“Why’s that?”

“She is the daughter of Lagertha after all. She’s probably turned her into a good manipulator seeing that she is a beautiful seductress to you all.”

“I don’t care who her mother is. I only care for her,” Ubbe spoke up.

“I suppose that’s why you slept with the help then,” Ivar couldn’t help himself. He wanted to revel in their misery which worked when Ubbe stood up and stormed off with the meek thrall following after him.

Everybody else dismissed themselves after that, leaving Aslaug all alone while they all scurried after you.

Tagged: @belovedcherry @lordsexmachine @lol-haha-joke @mariaenchanted @ethereallysimple @bababasti @ir-abelas-telanadas 

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-Jack

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Warnings: Nothing. Pure fluff.

Word Count: 1.1k

a/n: a short one but cute one :)

au! november 2007

the purest things masterlist

au! november 2007

Bookend: The innocence of children is what makes them stand out as a shining example to the rest of Mankind. — Kurt Chambers

Everything in your house has slumbered beneath silken dust, awaiting the day that a fresh wind would polish it clean. The past two months were filled with cases that kept you on the go. At last, there was a lull that allowed your team to have a few off days. So, you invited everyone over for a small dinner party at your house.

Running over to the stove to stir the bubbling sauce, you glance at the clock on the microwave and see that people will be arriving at any time. Right on time, the doorbell rings.

You skip over to the door and are met with the glowing faces of Penelope, Derek, and David. "Come in!" You exclaim as they wipe their feet on the doormat. Looping your arm around David's, you walk him to the kitchen, "Don't be too hard on me now. I am no artist of cuisine, but I give it my best when I go all out."

He glances at the dishes you've prepared, taking a wooden spoon and tasting your sauce, "My child, you are a prodigy! I must refine your ways: next Saturday, you and me, a lesson in Italian cuisine." "It's a date," you chirp.

Another chime of the doorbell alerts you to more visitors. "I got it," you shout behind you as you stroll to the door. On the other side of the door is  Spencer, JJ, Hotch, and a little boy gripping his hand. Jack.

"Why hello there," you kneel to meet him at his level. He smiles a crooked half-smile, leaning against Aaron's leg. "Say hi," he squeezes Jack's shoulder. Instead of responding, he pulls out of his father's grasp and wobbles into the foyer. His little knees are like hinges, slowly but surely hoisting his toddler body further into the house. You can't help but giggle at how awkward his movements are, a feeling of warmth overcoming you because of the undeniable cuteness.

Lifting yourself off the ground, you greet your guests and welcome them inside.

"How old is Jack?" You ask Aaron.

"He turned two last month," he beams while admiring his young son.

"He looks like you."

"He's his mother through and through." ++++ You search for Jack and find him in the hallway, bouncing and clapping his hands as if listening to music in his mind. Unable to hide your smile, you catch the attention of David and Aaron, who stand in the foyer.

"She's taken a liking to Jack," David notes.

Aaron does not verbally respond, but his hint of a grin signals Rossi to his feelings on the matter.

Jack trips over to you, his moves formed out of chaos and not by any scientific behavior that even the great Spencer Reid could explain. You giggle as he stumbles onto the floor next to you. "Hey," you whisper playfully, "I need help finishing dinner. Why don't you come help me, and we can keep you out of trouble." Reaching your arms out to Jack, you offer to carry him into the kitchen. His words run into one another and are entirely incomprehensible.

"I'll take that as a yes," you scoop him into your arms and place him on the kitchen counter. Handing him some noodles to play with, you keep him occupied.

"She's great with him too," David nods.

Aaron doesn't need David to tell him that, though. He is observing it all for himself. His life was turned upside down when he became a father. Aaron had been blessed with a son. And along with that son came a sacred duty, to raise him in a life filled with love and protection. He knows that he has made some poor choices and has failed to prioritize his son in certain life aspects. However, he refuses to make those same mistakes again.

Aaron has to navigate this new role as a "single" parent all alone, though. He can contact Haley when necessary, but he wants to create a safe little bubble for Jack to come to when with him. Aaron doesn't have a family as Haley does. They are estranged from one another. The BAU team is the closest thing he has to family now. And here you are, the newest member, solidifying your role in this family and now your position in Aaron and Jack's. ++++ With the table set, dishes served, and everyone seated, you begin your feast. Jack insisted on sitting next to you, and you willingly obliged him. Aaron sits on the opposite side of his son, feeding him small portions of food that he can easily chew.

Jack starts to bounce up and down on his bottom; his eyes are wide, and his mouth already partly open. He is eyeing the spaghetti that wraps around your fork. When the first food goes into your mouth, he has a slightly crestfallen look but then starts his celebratory bounce again as his father draws his attention back to his tiny bites.

"Aaron?"

He looks up at you, "Yes?"

"How about I feed Jack so that you can eat your dinner?"

"No, you should eat."

"I've been taste-testing this meal all day. Please, enjoy it."

He agrees and hands you the spoon. For the remainder of dinner, you fly each scoop like an airplane into Jack's little mouth. ++++ As everyone prepares to leave, Aaron lingers...a slumbering little boy in his arms.

"Did you forget something in the house," you question, "One of Jack's toys?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I just wanted to thank you for preparing dinner, hosting us all in your home, and somehow managing to give Jack the time of his life tonight."

"It was my pleasure. And hanging with Jack? That was the icing on top of the cake for me," you softly pat Jack's back so as not to wake him.

Parting ways, you say goodnight to one another. You watch from the front doorstep as Aaron straps Jack into his car seat. He waves at you one last time as he gets into the passenger seat. Fondly, you wave back to him. There is so much to admire about that man. The thought of the Hotchner boys alarmingly keeps you up all night.

Sleeplessness is a part of your job, but at least tonight, you aren't restless because of the nightmares or the vivid images from cases that haunt your mind. No, you are awake because your heart is full. Fullness, an unfamiliar feeling that has been taking root in your heart since you joined the BAU. A feeling that you pray never disappears.

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