#but after that all of the basic lore will be done! yippee!

[overdevelopedglasses]

tell us more about essence 🙏🙏🙏

starts vibrating

GOD as much as I wanna talk about the story, I need to do just a little bit more exposition. Want it all to make sense, ya know?

So, assuming people have seen this post and this post, I've got what you're looking for under the cut.

Alright it's time to talk about spirits.

So throw what you know about spirits out the window, because "spirit" in the Essence world refers to the entities that can manipulate elements and energy.

For a bit of hierarchy, there's the first spirit (who's kinda lost to time, but we meet them in Essence), and then 3 different spirits who are dubbed the Creation Spirits: Soros (spirit of darkness), Uradata (spirit of abyss), and Illumi (spirit of light). In the olden times, they came down to the human world and made friends with some humans. As a bit of a token of friendship, some of the humans beared children beacuse of them (consensually!). We'll get to those children later.

After leaving the humans, these spirits got busy, and started making spirits to control elements. There's a lot of them, and we'll touch on them in a second. A few years later, something happened: the spirits and humans found out that the elemental spirits and the human children of the spirits could form a symbiotic bond with one another. These bonds... are just called bonds, but they are still a very common occurrence in the present day.

Anything beyond that delves into Essence lore, and I fear I'll ramble incoherently, so we'll stop there. For a conclusion, the new "terms" and characters I can introduce:

Bond: the link formed between a vessel and a spirit. For shelter and some nutrients from the vessel to the spirit, the spirit would grant the vessel usage of their powers, and if needed, armor and a weapon, whose form is decided by the spirit. There's some nuance to bonds, but I'll save it for another post.

Omega: spirit that controls plasma (limited control, but still pretty powerful). Bonded to Lily

Zephyr: spirit that controls wind. Bonded to Alex

Ravi: spirit that contols fire. Bonded to Percy.

Geoc: spirit that controls earth. Bonded to Enzo.

Vergals: spirit that controls ice. Bonded to Robin.

[kaisortadied]

character sheet and Phoenix in full uniform, grhahahsnudcnudcnudcun I love head cannons and lore and stuff I’m so normal about this.

New head cannons btw :3 yippee ( sorry I couldn’t cut here and made this long :(( also note all my lore and stuff is overly angsty is my writing style or whatever they call it. Also I’m a gore artist so…. sorry)

Full name: Jamie Einar Ginophoem

date of birth: 12/19/3X

Date of agency sign on: 12/19/49

Phoenix has naturally blonde ash hair, sometimes they have red or black highlights. Their 5’4, and is mostly mute, rarely speaking to anyone and mostly speaking ASL.

They’re trained in Karate, Skilled fighting, stealth, acrobatics, and basic agency training. In Clearance and cadet training they did already sport these skills, so the source of these are traits are unknown.

Phoenix can allegedly speak fluent Russian, French, and Spanish. They have been confirmed to fluently speak English and ASL, The agency has heard Phoenix speak the other languages from sources, however no one who actually works at the agency has heard them.

Phoenix rarely drinks, but on the occasions they do, it’s either very light or very heavy, according to Phoenix “There’s no in between Sam.”

Phoenix always puts their hair up in a ponytail before going on missions (in my awesome lore they do eventually cut their hair to about neck length so this head cannon does stop once they do that)

Phoenix does smoke, they have been trying to quit after the juniper incident though.

TW: for self harm, attempted suicide, drugs, PTSD, mental episodes, terrible parenting, and overall angsty stuff

Phoenix jumped off the roof of a building in uptown nyc, trying to get out of an arranged marriage. They survived the fall, accidentally faking their death.

from the age 17-20 they lived on the streets, they did fight kids in street fights for money, which did end up in them being in multiple police chases.

They spent most of the money they made from these fights on drugs, Phoenix doesn’t have an addiction anymore, according to them.

They have been diagnosed with PTSD (alright quick side tangent, I have done my research on all things I give my characters, so dw) the agency keeps a close eye on them to make sure this doesn’t effect their missions.

They have been found having mental episodes in their office, and also have an inferiority complex and anxiety when it comes to missions, coming up with crazy ways on how they could die on the mission.

(sorry if these got to dark, I’m a dark person ig, I do my research though, and I love constructive criticism soo… shoot my fellas)

[ask-commander-arild]

OOC Post:

Hi, there! I'm @jnix-2006 and welcome to my ask blog, ask-commander-arild!! I made this blog for @pkmoth's @motherbound-askapalooza, and I plan on participating the entire month of August, but if it does well, I may continue it!! But, bear with me, because I don't use tumblr much, so this is all very new to me, haha. Before we start, I feel I should give a little bit of introduction to what exactly this is. So, firstly, what exactly is an Arild? Well, Arild is an OC I created for the game Mother 3 (Heavy spoilers btw)! He can be seen below!

Art done by @pinkalliums!!! Go check them out!!

Say hello to Arild Eskildsen! A young Norwegian lad of 15 years old who, through a series of unfortunate events, was once a pigmask. I know his design may look a little... 2015, but the design quite literally came to me in a dream, and I would've been stupid not to use it. Now, as much as I'd love to go into detail about his backstory, I wanna save most of it for the asks. I guess the most basic gist is that he was taken from our time, currently in the 2010's but may change later, from a very young age, and made to be a pigmask. Yippee, child soldier! He goes on to be promoted to captain. But after yet another unfortunate event, he ends up being chimera-ified and he gets promoted to commander, but not of the pigmasks... Of what, you ask? Well, we'll get there. For now, here's him as a captain!

Art also by @pinkalliums!! Seriously, go check them out! >:)

Few things to keep in mind for this blog:

1. I don't have many artistic abilities, unfortunately, so this will be a text only blog. Some friends have kindly made a few pieces for Arild, and I will show them off, but for the most part, there won't be much in the way of visuals. If you feel like making art of him, feel free! I would actually love to see it!!

2. Quite a lot of the stuff here is going to involve my own headcanons for the Mother series, especially post-game Mother 3. For example, in my headcanon, Claus survives and becomes the leader of the army, rebranding it in the name of peace, and that is why Arild is a commander. Basically, since everyone has unique headcanons for the series, you can just consider this an AU.

3. There will be mention of a couple real life places that will have Mother-ified names. With any mention of Norway, the name will changed to Fjordland, on account of its many... fjords. Canada is also an important place within the story, and that I have decided to call Mapleland. Creative, I know. I figured I would bring it up to avoid confusion

4. Feel free to ask whatever! Though, obviously, just make sure it's on topic, of course. Silly questions are easy to answer and will usually be answered quickest! Lore relevant questions are a little trickier and may take me just a bit longer to respond to, but I will be happy to get to them!! Also, RP is okay with me, if you want to!!

5. When it comes to asking questions, please don't be weird or anything. Like... being a former pigmask, Arild is a plus-sized character, so a comment about his weight would not be great. More importantly, absolutely NO NSFW. This character is a minor, and that stuff is not okay to ask. I don't think any of this will be an issue, but it's good to mention just in case

6. I do not speak Norwegian, so if I want to sprinkle it in a little bit, I have only on option. Google Translate. I know, I know... it's not the best, but I will try my best to avoid mistranslations or misuse of phrases. I wouldn't want to be the new version of that one post about the Norwegian Butter Crisis, haha.

If you're still here, thank you for reading until the end!! As said, I've never done something like this before, so this intro is probably super chaotic in comparison to other blogs, haha. I am really excited to get started here! I've always wanted to do an ask blog, and I really needed an excuse to flesh out my OC, so I'd say this is perfect! I'd like to give thanks to all the friends, and my bf, who helped me out on this!! Thank you to Moth for setting this event up! Thank you to Hal and a few others for the art! And also thank you so much to my friend Red who helped me create this character in the first place! He didn't tell me what his tumblr was, but he is @/Doc_Glowstick on Twitter!! Alright, I think I've rambled enough now. I'll probably go through this and change it later, but for now, let the blog begin!!!

[loverboy-cc]

I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!

I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.

Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.

I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.

I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.

I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.

I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done

I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh

Whoops

Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)

His actual like- lore lore is below the break.

Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.

Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.

Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.

Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.

You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)

Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.

Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.

He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)

Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.

Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.

He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)

So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.

He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.

Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.

That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.

May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)

Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.

Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.

The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)

Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.

[santajp]

Art by Nummax / https://www.fiverr.com/nummax?source=inbox !!!

Another lore post! Yippee!

---------

Bagel's dark magic is passed down from a being known as Salvation, and even if she has made the magic her own at this point, much of her abilities are ones the monster who nearly doomed the world had. She can mess with minds, transform herself and others, as well as make her dark magic manifest itself in the form of dark arms from her back. Furthermore, her magic is its own being, one that can want different things than her and is normally more instinctual and feral, needing a host body to have as well. Though Bagel has calmed it after years of having it in her body, mostly from making it actual love her body and what she can do, it always can go overboard and make Bagel lose control.

But before that she has her regular abilities. Bagel is attuned to her own senses and her own knowledge, being able to easily make her own spells from how much of the basics she understands. Even without her magical parasite/buddy, she was adept in magic from being with the Corginati, a cult of corgis that have some of the strongest mages in the world, and the new beast inside her made those former spells stronger with a slew of new abilities as well, ones Bagel came up with herself even. Such experimentation is one reason why the magical parasite is stuck on her, the others being that Bagel isn't easily afraid of it, and that she herself has a drive to want to bond with it. Such is the reason why her dark magic, rather than just making her adapt, has adapted to her as well. Magic takes some of the person's nature with it, at least if in them for a long time. For example, if a human tried to take a kitsune’s magic, they'd be corrupted near instantly. Even if magic isn't always living, it can keep an imprint, a want to stay in one form or state in most cases, and will make the person's form contort to force it to match, especially if the amount of magic is above the MP their current form can hold. In case of Bagel, this is amplified. Massively so. Her magic, as its own being, knows what it likes, remembers patterns and traits that make a good host. It remembers Bagel eating tonnes at night; it remembers her weight; it remembers her warm fur; and it remembers how her body is *her* body, from her cutesy toes to her mind. If most people try to take Bagel's magic, have it bond with their body, the magic will do what it wants and or has to have a 'perfect' host. Bit by bit, their form will perhaps fatten up, gain fur, even change sexes rapidly, all because her magic sees her as the perfect being for it and has the full capability to shape-shift others as well as itself. Once their changes are done, they'll feel the same cravings Bagel does, look like Bagel does as clothing magically appears upon them, and keep their mind, even if it has new memories of basic things implemented from their new form. Much like how she could go into many people's minds and mess with them, manipulating them to her own wants and whims, she could also put bits of her magic into others to spread her control. Such bits will do the process of above, giving massive cravings as a new magical beast inside them calls for it and making them closer to a big, fat girlish corgi by the seconds or perhaps months, nudging them to new habits and perhaps even ones that eat people if enough energy is needed. Though mind manipulation and forceful shape-shifting from the inside out can both be stopped if the person who her magic enters is strong enough with their own magic, able to get her magic out of themselves, or tell what is happening in the case of their mind being shifted. Mind control is no easy affair. It requires a gateway, an emotion to use for it. Sometimes you can manipulate a person's rage, sadness, and in this case, bliss. For anyone transformed into a big, needy corgi though, bliss the emotion that can easily be used. Bagel knows what she likes. She knows where she likes to be pet and what foods makes her tastebuds go over the edge. Bagel, if seeing another person become her, knows they'll love paws, some sweet foods, and many, many pets. That knowing of bliss is what makes it easily to then get into their heads, to make their minds focused but first on that bliss rather than any order. Perhaps saying to attack someone is hard, unlikely to get their mind to ease, but bliss- telling for them to have more when they want it so badly without reason, acting as if it's an offer before it becomes more instinctively hard to resist temptation, that is the perfect form of hypnosis in Bagel's eyes. If she can just- let someone relax in a dream or trance rather than fight, that's better. For the both of them of course~

[kiisaes]

Quick! Tell me about your OCs! (I just really like hearing about people’s OCs)

!!! WAAUAUAUSDUHUS OKAY!!!

and to everyone who doesn't care about my ocs, u can ignore this ask bc i'm gonna be like this for the remainder of this post

u have been warned.

my ocs that i mostly post about here belong to a future comic i intend to write, draw and post online called "chimera kingdom"! this is the tag on my blog -> #chimera kingdom <- it's comprised of art of my ocs as well as some miscellaneous stuff

it's a story that means a lot to me and one i definitely want to write in its entirety .. someday .. bc some of my oldest ocs are here!!! kimberly is my oldest oc i still use!!! she is a decade old!!! buzzer and ry are also almost as old, they were made like. idk. a week after kimberly ??? and fun fact but atticus is technically the oldest oc of the bunch but he's not technically my oc since i'm borrowing him from my friend. but i was given permission to write him my own way for this comic so YIPPEE!!!!!

it's a humble project with a lot of sentimental value, so i post about it occasionally even though this is mainly a fan art blog, i haven't illustrated it all, and don't know when it'll be done. not sure if i necessarily have "big dreams" for this thing, but it'd be cool to see it all come together ....... someday

BUT ANYWAY! some general lore and worldbuilding of "chimera kingdom" bc that's important!!!

the short synopsis: "in the near future, a government-funded lab/secret service/school conglomerate called the Chimera Kingdom experiments on humans. chimeras are the newest step in human(?) evolution, individuals with the added survival skills of a specific animal. they primarily exist to kill off monsters— dangerous, soulless creatures set to destroy humanity if not combated."

so basically chimeras are the merging of a human body and the strength, survival skills, and instincts of one animal. they still maintain their human body throughout unless their animal limbs serve as part of their survival (like bird chimeras with wings, big cat chimeras with claws, etc.). chimeras have to manually tap into their chimera states, meaning that under normal circumstances they're just regular humans. when a chimera's chimera state is active, a symbol on their inner wrist will appear and glow. that's what these are!

chimeras are like. fantasy science basically. they're definitely scientific creations in-universe but leave some breathing space for fantasy too, so u don't concern urself with the specifics. the further this story goes, the more reality will be suspended as well

so how does this relate to the characters ?!?!

i won't go tooooo in depth with the individual characters since that would make this ask way too fucking long and i doubt anyone would want to read that. so i'll just link this post and this post which have the basic run-downs for the 10 student characters. these posts are a bit outdated now but i haven't had the time or the luxury to remake them so ..... they'll do for now =v= i also don't have everyone's bios written, so there's more characters than just these 10. if anyone i draw catches ur interest feel free to ask me! i WILL scream about them

anyway all 10 of them are chimeras attending Chimera School, a part of the Kingdom. the 10 of them make up the elite class, aka the "best" class due to everyone's potential to be very strong and useful chimeras. this class ignores grades since it's more focused on chimera missions and other stuff directly benefiting the Kingdom, less on actual academics (though they still learn the basics, dw). so they're of different ages but still on the same level playing field

the protag is kimberly, she's a rabbit chimera and her goal at the Kingdom is to become the strongest chimera!!! she's been in her twin brother ry's shadow since she can remember, so she has a bit of beef with him though it's not inherently malicious. he's good at everything so she wants to be better than him in just one thing. like .. u know when siblings are a little fucked up? yea :D

she acts as the audience surrogate for a bit before more perspectives are introduced. everyone has their own goals and motivations, and develop as the story moves forward. i intend for "chimera kingdom" to delve into war, love, grief, vulnerability, reclamation of power, and what it means to be human. and what it means to be an individual being when u can't even feel like u're worthy of being anyone. ya feel ?!?!?!?!

every character deals with one or multiple of these themes! in some kind! so lmk if there's a specific character u're interested in !!! i will word vomit for HOURS. i just don't want to crowd this already-crowded ask when there's a good amount of characters in my comic. and again i implore u to check out the links above for some quick info :)

SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LONGGGGG

[thepicklegifter]

oh buddy boy it's time for art drop

(for the sake of spoilers, look at the current drama on northeast wedding before lookin here lol)

(also uhm. Lore explanation is coming soon. Working on cucumber stuff because HWKSJSKJDDKKD plus very much angstyyyyyy anyway yippee I have returned after disappearing for an hour or something)

Pickle anon sat there for the majority of the chaos, his glasses slowly breaking in his hand as the memories kept flooding through his brain, unable to get out of the situation or distract himself at all because SHE kept doing something to his mind... Like she knew it'd immobilize him to remember all of that...

...

Slowly, the glasses cracked as he realized there was no getting out of this. Slowly, the glasses cracked as he realized there was nothing that could be done to fix those events. Slowly, the glasses cracked, as he remembered how Cucumber would never be near him again.

...

Quickly, the glasses broke.

(ok I know image is confusing, but basically pickle anon isn't human and he and Cucumber were either best friends or a thing, and basically Cucumber got taken away or murdered or something (most likely the murder but I haven't fully decided yet) and the day Cucumber got taken Pickle anon got the whole eye curse thing that has slowly been worsening but it has only got like really bad and noticable recently but no one but him knew because ✨glasses✨ and also he's very good at hiding shit so now he just has a bunch of weird glitchy goop coming out of his left eye because unknown curse or whatever idk it's late :/)

[mauricemylittlemeowmeow]

gmorning gmorning. gmorning long post.

it's exactly 4am!!

blurry ass shot but i woke up, saw jupiter and thought "yeah definitely too early". but then i get up a bit more and i saw the moon right below it and i thought pretty!!!

skies've been too cloudy to stargaze for the past month. it's actually completely obscured the moon and jupiter right now so i'm glad i could get a shot in even though it was shitty lmao. it was real pretty and nice and fuckin mars was there with aldebaran and everything (if u squint u see them in the photo above jupiter)

dream time!!! on a scale of 10, dreams were a 7-8 today depending on which. one of them featured daniil which was funny so ill relay it:

premise was that i was the player character in what my brain helpfully supplied as some sort prequel game for patho. a nurse (i was talking to my nurse friend before sleeping and she was ranting abt phlebotomy or smth so lmao)

it mightve been set in a plague but basically there was some sort of epidemic and "i" tended to the in patients at an hospital (is it a hospital?? do people pronounce the h in hospital in english?) where most of everyone was sick with something really bad and barely curable.

anyways i was walking around doing my rounds. then i come over to this room with patients and it's literally like a closet with long shelves and everything but instead of supplies, the patients were crammed in there like a morgue or a line of standing coffins.

lo and behold i see daniil in all his p1 model glory. i pull him out. hes distressed so i tell him hes actually starting to get better (he was not) and that soon he'll be discharged after he's well again. i pat his head lovably and grow fond like i was comforting a cute puppy (i have 6 dogs) and i think about shoving him in the broom closet of doom again.

i think that was the part where i was like "lmao wtf is this dream rn" so my brain helpfully supplied some lore then when i was done "remembering" the setting above, the scene already shifted.

daniil was, once again, in distress. he was a lot like an asylum patient. like someone who lost their sense of self and was struggling very hard to claw at an identity of any sort that they might have had in the past. he was trying to use the phone to make a call. he struggles trying to recall a number but then eventually gets one right.

it rings and bc dream me really wanted to listen in on the conversation like a chronic gossip, i manage to "convince" him (dream coercion) to let me answer the phone.

it was his mum!! daniil dankovsky's mother 大草 lmao. i told her i was from the hospital, calling about daniil and she was like "oh... he's dead, isn't he?" and i told her that no he's fine actually and was to be dismissed very soon (i was lying).

while this was happening, i was trying my best to let daniil hear the conversation too but i didn't know how to put the telephone on speaker (bc fr idk how to put telephones on speaker irl. i think our telephone company doesnt provide speaker buttons????? idk im going insane) so i was just struggling, trying to put the receiver speaker in between us before giving up

i heard the tail end of her going on about needing "dr. burakh" to fix her up and my brain hit me with another dose of setting details at that point.

(artemy's a doctor/surgeon in the hospital and hes handling daniil's treatment too)

i laugh and tell her that there's no need to get artemy bc soon her son'll be home to fix her up instead.

at that point, i was urged to cut the call because someone came up to me, another telephone in hand, and said "you know this is a home line right?" (implying anyone could listen in)

i was too lazy to reply and continue the dream so i just woke up after that lol.

but yeah good morning yippee!! clean start for another day!!! cant wait to seize it, hope everyone does too!!!

[crushed-starlight]

ok !! yall need so many updates from me aaa i'll try to speedrun them n not give u too much junk to read hehe

the main thing is, today i took a huuuge train ride home from uni !! i was on the road for a super long time but i got tons of reading done :3 but for about a month , i won't be seein any of my uni lore people in person ;; it's gonna be weird for sure since i've spent so much time around them recently, but i think in some cases (ie meadow lol) the distance will be good to help me rly evaluate what i'm getting out of that closeness n whether it's worth it.

plus, i'll get to hang out with my friends from here more too !! theres TONS of interesting stuff goin on with them too, so i'm sure there'll b more of that !!

anyway, here's a mini recap of some stuff that's happened since my last entry !!

i had a big night out with a bunch of people !! my first stop was an indie music night with odie and jiji, then after that down to a queer club night where we met meadow and one of their friends !! we also ran into another classmate who we didn't know was even queer, n he ended up joining us for the night :D

i also ran into a bunch more people i know !! specifically winter and (new character time) wave, who i'll add to the masterlist sooon :3

overall it was super fun n they played a bunch of my favorite songs :3 i love gay people <3

remember how i said 'as per jiji's advice i'm gonna try n keep some distance from meadow'? yeah i for sure did not do that. we explored a retail park n saw a movie on one day, did field work in the city another, n kept walking to class together almost every day !! i am ,, so tired !!

honestly, the crush might be beginning to fade, or just shapeshift into a friendship. i'm becoming more n more aware of potential red flags or just reasons i might not personally want to date them.. mainly, we're just really different in terms of personality. compared to when i'm hanging out with jiji and odie, i just mask around meadow a lot more. i overthink a lot, they tease me over my silly cringe interests n traits (of which there are a lot lol) instead of hyping me up , and i know they don't mean anything of it but i'm tired of being constantly reminded of how Different i am from them ,, and by extension from most people.. ok but wait there was last night .......

we went to a candlelight concert !! to any pair of people other than us, it probably would've been super romantic. what a waste of a perfect night, right? but it was still nice. we dressed up extra pretty, the music was nice, we sat right at the back of a beautiful church and listened to basically a classical music concert. i drank mulled wine in the intermission, there were about 20 christmas trees all decorated and themed after different charities and local organisations. crush thoughts aside, it was a really magical experience for what it cost (15 pounds yippee) :3

but , of course , since i knew that if i got home after that i'd have the most miserable yearning-filled night, i helped set up a pizza party with my flatmates (and odie) instead !! so jiji, comet, and our fourth roommate chipi !! i'm surprised i haven't mentioned him yet, at some point he should get a loredump post of his own since there's a lot to unpack with him lol

anyway the pizza party went great , save for the worlds worst phonecall with the pizza place which i foolishly volunteered to have. that pizza place employee in particular encompasses all the reasons i get anxious about phone calls.. yikes!

ok i think that's everything interesting that's happened so far !! here's to hoping i can have a nice relaxing (but still productive !!) month off. well , aside from the 6 giant essays i need to research and write >< but it's fine, i'll cope :,) bye for now !!

[violexides]

The DreamSMP Explained (By Someone Who Has Never Watched Any DreamSMP Stream)

cracks knuckles. okay, fucking FINALLY doing this. ahem. 

Couple things to preface with, will keep this brief. 

This isn’t entirely blind. One of my best friends has helped out in places, just because I wanted to hit on everything (accurate or not), and I know mutuals/friends who post and write about DreamSMP (though how much of that is AU or canon-typical, I can’t say. I can’t tell). I’ve never seen a single stream, but I’ve seen a few clips. So, my understanding is a bit more than the title may imply, but still not a lot. Sorry.

Also, this will be very, very long (near 2k words). All under the cut, will TW this with themes of abuse, death, manipulation, unreality, hallucinations, and me having an abrasive sense of humor where I revel in the glee of calling these guys European twinks. Though, speaking of. This is ALL about the actual characters, not the people. I don’t know anything about most of these actual streamers, so, no hate to them. In fact, I think they’re pretty cool for having come up with a… somewhat coherent… narrative, all through using Minecraft as a medium. Anyway.

Sigh. Without further ado, 

So. There’s this place. Made by Philza, AKA God, AKA one of like six different gods. Philza, born from the womb acting like someone’s 43 year old uncle, has three kids. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. There are other people here, with some scattered ancestry that raises some questions, but I don’t really care who fucked an Enderman and had an 8’0 tall kid (Ranboo DNI).

There are also places! Sometimes! On a good day, there are actual, intact locations. We’ve got hits like “The Badlands”, which I think was taken from about three different dystopian novels I read in third grade, “El Rapids” (Quackity, Subpoena (autocorrect wins this round), and Karl made this one), “Pogtopia”, no comment on this one, and “L’Manberg”, which Wilbur made. 

Only one of these is going to be important.

So, might be a good time to say this: I don’t know what the inciting incident of DreamSMP is? I don’t know what was the catalyst for all this shit, but I’m going to take a guess and say Wilbur blowing up L’Manberg had something to do with it.

… That’s going to be a pattern, by the way. Just. Stick with me here. 

So, Wilbur is an older child who read the Hamlet parts in literature class and can only cope by ripping down the very creations he has and taking the entire world down with him to hell. Which is to say, he throws a pity party after Jschlatt (some bitch who abused Quackity, that’s another trend, yippee) wins an election and decides to blow up the fucking kingdom and kill Jschlatt.

Little does Wilbur know, the devil may work fast, but Jschlatt getting a fucking stroke and dying out of nowhere works faster. 

I’m not kidding. He gets a stroke, he dies, and Tubbo takes over. I’ve tried to puzzle out the government structure of DreamSMP for a while and have drawn zero conclusions. In any case, Wilbur also tells Philza, his… father…, to kill him. And Philza fucking does? For some reason, like, holy shit.

Anyway. Wilbur is now a ghost. So is Jschlatt. The… life system, on this server, is really strange and I don’t know how to fully explain it. Just know that nothing has permanence here. 

I’m going to throw this out here because I don’t know when it’s relevant, but I wrote down something about Karl being in a place called the In Between. I don’t know how the hell he got there or what the hell he’s doing. This might be where the discs are? I can’t explain the discs. I… think they are fighting over the discs? Don’t know why, Wilbur makes music himself, I feel like you have enough to go around.

(Stream Saline Solution it reminds me of my best friend only if you want okay thx)

L’Manberg gets blown up again. This time, Techno did it. He did it just after giving this speech about Theseus, which, jokes aside-- the writing of DreamSMP is actually really good. That was all done on improv, and I did watch an animatic with some of the audio from it, and damn. I’m a whore for metaphor and I love this for him.

This happens, and Ranboo and Tommy decide to do a little hehe and burn down George’s house. Who is George? Good question: a king. Of what? Good question: call me the antithesis of a Ranboo kinnie and get me some discs because I hear no answers.

Dream gets pissed off by this (who gave him authority, I don’t know) and builds a wall. He for some reason decides that if Tommy, and only Tommy, breaks some rules, the wall will stay up forever. So, naturally, Tommy immediately yells at him, and Tubbo gets pissed (what happened to the whole, who are you without me, yourself, thing?). Dream exiles him, which is bad enough, but then Dream burns down his house, so now he’s double exiled.

Dream kins Julius Caesar but Julius Caesar does not kin Dream and I think that’s important. 

(It had to be important enough for me to literally go back and edit this in, for no reason, because I think I’m really fucking hilarious.) 

Techno takes in Tommy and shows him his super secret cave of evil, which Tommy promptly screams at. Philza and Ranboo visit sometimes, but mostly Tommy just sits there. Dream says “fuck you” to Techno, but Techno decides to wage war on L’Manberg, so Quackity and co. come over to try and kill Techno, but Techno kills Quackity with a pickaxe, but Quackity has three lives for some reason, and then Dream blames Ranboo for blowing something up for literally zero reason, and can you tell how tired I am.

Ranboo sees a smiley face in his notebook and zones the fuck out while Dream tries to kill… Tommy? No, Tubbo. No, fuck, no it was Tommy. I don’t know why people suddenly care about it n- NO, NO IT WAS TUBBO, he is TRYING to kill TUBBO. 

I hate Europeans. 

Ahem. Dream goes to jail, but he has books in jail, which is a horrible idea. Everyone knows that if you give a war criminal some novels he’ll accidentally haunt someone else’s dreams and launch psychological warfare with the prison guard, Sam, who has zero idea what he’s doing because he probably didn’t sign up for this.

Also, I’m gonna say this here because I don’t know when it will fit in. There’s this place. Called… the Egg. Now, I don’t know what goes on in the Egg. I don’t know what the Egg is. I don’t know who decided to name all these fucking things, because I think the Egg is just a box made of bedrock. I think Ranboo hallucinates about it, but Ranboo hallucinates about everything so I’m not really sure. I’m going to call it here and say that this is probably a bad sign.

People are trying to talk to Dream. First BadBoyHalo, who gives Ranboo this little note from Dream with a smiley face. Or maybe that was SapNap. Either way, Ranboo hallucinates seeing Dream, and then actually sees Dream but he thinks he’s hallucinating? I don’t know. 

Then we get Tommy. Basically he kind of comes in here and Sam, being a good prison guard, allows Dream to beat Tommy to death and then revive him (don’t ask about the revivals just pretend it makes sense please). He tells Tommy he’s also going to revive Wilbur which Tommy isn’t a big fan of, considering that Wilbur, uh. Vague hand gestures. You get the schtick. Hopefully. I don’t know.

Anyway. Uh. Quackity loses his shit, also.

As in he talks to Jschlatt, the ghost of his abusive husband. Makes a deal-- if Quackity here loses, he revives Jschlatt. I don’t know what the winning conditions are, but, thankfully, they don’t matter because Quackity loses damn near instantly. 

So he goes to Dream and Sam gives him really powerful gear for no reason. Dream is a bit terrified by this situation, and Quackity is like “give me the fucking book”, and then we never find out what happens because Quackity ends up covered in blood about to blow up El Rapids. I hadn’t expected to mark Quackity off on the demolitionist bingo, but hey, all’s fair I guess. My next bets are on Tubbo or whichever bitch became god of the sea. 

(I also made a joke to my friend about me kinning Quackity (the character not the streamer could you fucking imagine), to which they said “you’d torture someone for information”? So. I guess Dream, uh. Hm. That explains why Quackity was bloodied. Uh. Oops. Don’t know why he’s playing Poker, though.)

So, for my sanity, as we come to a close, I’m going to start listing lore details that I don’t know nearly enough about but are probably important. Just… bullet point them. Might be a bit tacky of me but I have shit to do, dammit. By that I mean, I don’t have shit to do, but I’ve had this doc open for literally 1-2 weeks and I just want to be freed.

List Of Other Shit That Happened:

Ranboo started an arg, so there’s a character named Z now. Can’t believe the kid I knew in middle school who didn’t know where the Middle East  was made it into the dreamSMP omg! 

Tubbo did something immoral, and we still don’t know who his dad is. By we, I mean me. 

Eret exists. That’s all I’ve got for this one. They’re important. Probably.

Karl hallucinated six versions of himself and left the In Between to go to hell. (Lil Nas X girlboss gaslight gatekeep in this motherfucker!!!)

Ranboo and Tubbo got married because taxes exist </3

More on this last point: they opened a hotel, despite Tubbo being a king, and Tommy got mad at them for getting engaged without his permission. But Tommy was literally dead when they had the wedding so I’m not exactly sure what he was expecting. Either way, he’s fine with it now.

Kids getting adopted oh shit oh fuck. Also, mpreg is canotical. Make this what you will. 

DreamXD is a god now. I don’t know who DreamXD is. I don’t think anybody else does either.

I’m like 60% sure George is dead. 

I’m like 60% sure Philza is immortal.

Going through my ‘notes’ to make sure I didn’t miss anything and I’m just getting more confused, so I think I’m going to call it here. Props to everyone in the dreamSMP for creating kickass lore, I would not summarize any of it ever again if you held me at fucking gunpoint, and thanks to my mutuals/friends for letting me ask a lot of really stupid questions as I try to puzzle this out. And also, another thanks to you all for reading this. I hope to God this was funny. 

I really, really, really fucking hope that Tumblr doesn’t cut this off for a long character count. This is longer than some of my fucking oneshots. My God. This was so fun, don’t get me wrong, but I also want a hit of a candy cigarette. Make it two, actually. Or three. All at once. 

Anyway. Drink some water, stay safe, and remember that statistically speaking, 100% of people with a name starting with “T” need to put down the Greek mythology books and learn about the ethics behind pyromania. Goodbye, Theseus. 

[destiel-love-forever]

Season 10: What’s worth watching

This is the first of 3 installments (season 10, season 11, season 12) because I think 13 and 14 are worth watching fully **I personally LOVED season 14, I haven’t loved one that much since season 5** && plus, this way you can watch the very final season of Supernatural without being confused! 

Thanks to @longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac for asking me to do this. I actually really enjoyed it <3

Season 10:

Honestly, ep. 1 & 2 aren’t even worth it for me. It’s Demon Dean hanging with Crowley, Cas trying to help Sam track Dean down, even though he’s really sick/dying without his grace. Cas goes off to find his grace with an angel named Hannah. Crowley pretty much hands Dean over to Sam because he doesn’t want to deal with him anymore. Sam starts doing the demon blood cure on Dean at the bunker. Hannah admits feelings to Cas & Cas turns her down (woot woot!). Cas figures out a temporary solution by drinking another angel’s grace after Crowley kills out (don’t worry, bad guy angel).

I will say that the final 10 minutes of ep. 3 “Soul Survivor” is a good watch. Who doesn’t love Dean in sexy red lighting being all scary and hot? Plus, there’s a nice little Dean/Cas heart to heart at the end.

If you don’t watch those 10 minutes: Dean gets cured (Yippee). Cas convinces him to take a break from hunting to relax.

Sam & Dean try their best to take a vacation, but end up going stir crazy and end up hunting (which was inevitable, but proud of them for trying)

Ep. 5 “Fan Fiction” is a MUST SEE. It’s so great, especially for shippers of destiel, but even for those who don’t support that ship. Plus, there’s a pretty major plot moment at the very end.

Moving on, we’ve got some boring episodes where the only thing that’s really important is that Dean’s having a hard time managing The Mark of Cain – showing pretty violent signs like overkills and extreme temper. Dean denies this when pointed out (in typical Dean Winchester fashion). On the side, the witch Rowena is trying to build her own coven. Ends up locked in hell and we find out she’s Crowley’s mother (very soap opera moment, but I like Rowena, so I’ll let that slide).

Ep. 8 “Hibbing 911” is a good one. (I love Jody & Donna, so having them together is the best. It’s also pretty important for future plans/plot).

Ep. 9 “The Things We Left Behind” is also a good episode - & it’s VERY important characterwise/plot wise/Mark of Cain wise.

Ep. 10 “The Hunter Games” is also pretty important, so you might as well watch that too. It’s a follow-up of a lot of things that start to happen in 9.

Ep. 11 “No Place Like Home” wasn’t one I enjoyed, and it’s pretty pointless plot wise, but if you’re a Charlie fan (which I am, don’t get me wrong, but I just really didn’t get much of the point of this episode) then you could watch it.

If you decide not to watch it, all you need to know is Charlie is back and she’s helping them look for a cure for the mark – they get a lead on a lore book called “The Book of the Damned” which is huge moving forward.

Also, at this point Dean is sober & trying to stay sober in the hopes it will help with the effects of the mark

Ep. 12 “About a Boy” was great in my opinion. Not really anything for plot, but it’s a de-aged teenager Dean and I LOVED it. It was fantastic. Highly recommend.

Skip a few episodes: Cas off looking for Cain (side note, he also discovers riverboat gambling.. and I really wish we could have gotten to see that, right?) Dean’s still sober, but frustrated and tells Sam he’s done looking for the cure and no longer wants to talk about it at all.

Ep. 14 “Executioner’s Song” is pretty important, and it’s a decent ep. It’s a Cain Vs. Dean showdown, and Cain says some pretty heartbreaking things that are still haunting Dean to this day in my opinion. There’s even some slight Dean/Cas (which is rare for this season).

Ep. 16 “Paint it Black” isn’t worth it in my opinion, BUT there is a particular scene that has always stuck with me. It’s when there’s only 19 minutes left in the episode & Dean has to distract the priest because of a hunt, so he goes in for a fake confessional. Shit ends up turning real and it’s a heartbreaking scene (but in a great, truly beautiful way). Also, for some shippers (me included) there seems to be some Dean/Cas subtext there.

Ep. 17 “Inside Man” is cool I guess, because Bobby is in it and he’s going badass in heaven, but other than that I wasn’t a huge fan of it to be honest. There are some pretty major pot things though, so it would be useful to watch it. Also, Dean breaks in this episode and is drinking again.

Ep. 18 “Book of the Damned” is good. It’s also important/very plotty. Plus, Charlie and Cas meet, which is my fav. Thing. There’s actually a solid 3 or 4 minutes at the end of the episode where the four amigos are actually happy for a hot second, which is nice.

Didn’t like Ep. 19 “The Werther Project”– basically Dean was just being a badass, killed 6 vamps on his own, shows his crazy strength/slightly scary mindset and a lot of Sam worrying. Sam & Rowena are still secretly working together. They end up finding a box to decode the book, but to get it Sam has to cut himself and bleed over the box (which I was really unimpressed with, because knowing the mental health issues I know Jared has, I just felt really uncomfortable watching him slit his wrist and force himself to slowly bleed out… plus, Dean was also pretty dark/admits to thinking about killing himself. Basically, it was a triggering ep for me and it felt pretty pointless besides the box being found). At end of the episode, Sam locks Rowena up to decode the book.

Ep. 20 “Angel Heart” was alright. It’s a big ep. For Claire Novak’s character. And some cute Claire/Dean bonding moments. If you don’t feel like watching it, though, you just need to know that Claire is trying to save her mom, the trio help, but the mom ends up getting killed just before they all can get to her. We see the mom and Jimmy reunite in heaven for a second, which is nice. Claire wants to pursue hunting. They send Claire to live with Jody while she gets on her feet again. – there is a cute moment where she asks Dean to take care of Cas at the end of the episode (last 4ish minutes).

The rest of the season you might as well finish. I hated 10.21 “Dark Dynasty” but it’s damn important plot wise, and there’s a major character death (STILL not over it). Bright side is that there’s some comedic relief as poor Cas is stuck with babysitting Rowena and Charlie. 10.22 & 10.23 aren’t that great either, but obviously important – 22 was hard to watch, Dean is REALLY off the rails. Also, there’s one of the worst moments that Dean/Cas have ever… so that sucks, especially for the destiel lovers. – 23 (the finale) comes with one suggestion : tissues. There’s a brother moment in there that hit me hard. Seeing Dean in such a bad place is really hard, too. But like I said, important. So suck it up buttercup and watch.